Christmas in Ponyville

by Alpha

First published

The night before Christmas, Santa comes to Ponyville by accident, Twilight most send him home before he ruins Hearth's Warming Eve

The night before Hearth's Warming Eve, (and also Christmas, for us humans) Santa Claus accidentally sends himself to Ponyville. He then proceeds to ruin what would have been a great Hearth's Warming Eve for the Ponyvillians. Twilight Sparkle and her friends have to send Santa Claus back to Earth, before Christmas and Hearth's Warming Eve are ruined!

Santa visits Ponyville

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Twilight Sparkle awoke with a leap. Already out of her bed before her eyes were open. She knew it was late at night, and while every pony else slept, she waited, she waited for dawn. She wanted too be the first pony awake and able too celebrate Hearth's Warming Eve. It was her first time celebrating Hearth's Warming Eve in Ponyville after all, and now that she is an alicorn princess made it even better.

Twilight descended down the staircase, planning on reading some books to past the time, realized with horror, she forgot too turn of the oven! The house exploded in a giant ball of fire, launching Twilight 51 yards away from her home. Her home was also a library, so it was even more flammable! The paper in the books were also covered in oil! The house exploded again into a double explosion, and launched Twilight an extra yard away so she is 52 yards away, the explosion also killed any pony within a 51 yard radius.

Twilight began to mock her dead ponyvillians, when a light came falling from the sky, an orphan pony who survived the explosion approached Twilight, then got squished to death by the light that fell from the sky. Twilight approached the light, she didn't really give a fuck that all these ponies died, and Spike, he died to. (I apologize to the 12 people who actually like Spike).

So, when Twilight approached the light, she realized it was actually this deer with a red nose, with a really fat guy on it, the deer was dying cause of the fat neckbeard that was sitting on it. The fat guy was wearing a red suit and had a white beard and a giant red sack. He also carried a red bag over his shoulder that was red.

"Who are you? you don't look like a pony." Twilight Sparkle asked the neckbeard

"Well no shit I don't look like a pony you fucking retard, but you, you look like a faggot. Get the fuck out, I'm motherfuckin Satan, shit, I mean Santa, I'm Santa Claus."The neckbeard replied

"What do you want Santa?"

"The blood of your first born children, some babies I can pretend to not rape, a bucket of chicken wings, and..uh, I don't know, I guess to kill some ponies while I'm here." Then Santa ran off, with his bag over his shoulder.

"Oh no" Twilight said as Santa ran off "If only Spike were alive to do the work for me and I get the credit! Now were all doomed maybe." Then Twilight Broke into some ponies house, took a juice box from the fridge, curled up in bed beside the frightened homeowners, and drifted off to sleep.

Off in a quiet section of Ponyville, Fluttershy was tending to her chickens, when suddenly Santa appeared.

"Oh, hello weird looking creature, whats your name?"

"Mofuckin Santa Claus bitch, imma bout to shoot all yo fuckin chickens unless you get me some grape drank beeetch."

Twilight Sparkle appeared out of nowhere and said "I put a curse on you so you talk like a black guy now, thats what you get for killing an orphan I was planning on killing." Then she disappeared

Fluttershy ignored what just happened with Twilight and said to Santa "Hi Santa, can you help me get these chickens out of their coop?"

Santa agreed and lite the chicken coop on fire and killed all the chickens,

"FRIED CHICKEN" Santa yelled.

"Santa, you're so very useful, I find that, uh, very attractive." Fluttershy then proceed too lick Santa's beard.

"Why you be lickin mah beard you cray-cray mofucka, I find that offeeensive, you need to stop dat sheet beetch."

Santa pulled out a gun and shot Angel bunny, blood went everywhere, Fluttershy got very attracted to Santa now that the only thing she loved was murdered. Fluttershy began kissing Santa, Santa enjoyed it very much, but he did not like it-yet. I hurried away off into the distant farm land.

At Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was cumming inside Rainbow Dash when there was a knock on the door.

"Applebloom, how many times do ah hav -ta tell ya too leave me an Dash aalooone when we are makin our precious looooooooove, I'm tastin the Rainbow and yer dang knocks are a ruining eet!"

Little did Applejack know, it wasn't Applebloom knocking on the door to try and join in, it was Santa, Big Macintosh appeared from under the bed and opened the door because logic, and Santa shot him in the ear.

"Ho-ho-ho, I spot me some hoes, who wants a free bullet?"

Santa then shot Big Mac in the horse dick, fragments of his penis went inside of Rainbow Dash, causing her to fly up with excitement, and doing a Sonic Vagboom, it's a Sonic Rainboom, but coming from her vagina. It hit Santa and the rest of Ponyville. Leaving Santa very angry he did not get to kill them.

He ran down stairs and found Applebloom coloring in a cooking book. Santa ran up behind her before she knew what was happening and pulled out a hunting knife, and pierced her legs. Blood dripped out, Applebloom screamed in agony, Santa threw her on the ground.

"Merry Christmas bitchess, give me yo grape drank!"

Applebloom laid on the carpet, unable to move, watched the Santa approach her slowly, she cried for help, Granny Smith arrive, but Santa beat her to death with her walker, he ripped of Granny Smith's head and hit Applebloom with it repeatedly until she died of being hit in the head with another head.

He looked up in the sky, "You're next, mysterious rainbow jizz flying pony!"

Santa placed his red bag on the ground, and pulled out a jet pack, and began to fly, though he ignored what he just said about targeting Rainbow Dash, and instead flew back to his waifu, Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, I'm back!" Santa yelled as he stepped into Fluttershy's cottage.

"Great! Just in time to celebrate Hearth's Warming Eve!"

"What the hell is that?" Santa asked

"It's when we celebrate the creation of our land, Equestria! It's a time of joy, and cheer!" Fluttershy responded.

"Sounds like a celebration I have back home, I give presents to kids, which is weird because I should be stealing them!"

"We better get you to my friend Twilight Sparkle, even though I love you and want to fuck you all day long, you need to go back to your world and fuck defenseless children there like the sick fuck you are, which is why I love you."

"Twilight Sparkle, I know her, she made me talk like a black guy for a bit, but it stopped now, I guess the guy writing this has gotten even more lazy, the guy writing this is such a faggot."

"I know right. Anyway, we can get her to forgive you, then she can send you back to your world."

"Ok, sounds good, we shall search for her later, but first, this!"

Santa once again pulled out his bag, and took a vibrator out of it. Then he took out his sac, and began face fucking fluttershy.

"Here, I got this for you, I used it a bit myself, so it may smell like shit."

"Mpphthankspmhh" said fluttershy with a mouthful of Santa dick. Wow, what an amazing way to end a chapter, I'm such a horrible writer.

Santa goes home

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Santa Claus and Flutershy finish having sex and search for Twilight Sparkle. Santa Claus then finds tiwlight and kills her. The end. I shit you not that's the end. SIGH that's not the end, you totally believed me nerd. Santa finds Twilight, kills her then goes off back to the human world and sells her dead carcass on ebay, now that's the real end. Sorry for the shitty ending, I don't think anyone cares about this story, sorry to anyone who did, waiting so long just for this. Well if it makes you feel better, applejack did some pretty awesome things, bu I won't tell you about it.