The Wanderings of My Mind

by Fiend from the Darkness

First published

Poems I've written inspired by different fanfics on FIMfic.

A series of poems inspired by stories on FIMfic that I loved. The titles of the stories that inspired the poem are at the end of the poem with a link. Title of the poem is chapter name if the poem has one, if not, the title is the title of the story.

Feb 12, 2015: Finally got cover art!

A Difference Made (Memory Pending)

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A Difference Made
Memory Pending

Memory lost and feeling alone
Past gone and future unknown
A stallion finds his way to a place
Where friendship thrives and feeds a race
But as he continues down his road
He starts to see that he carries a load
For left behind, he has not, his lethal past
He can't seem to make the peace he has last
For though he wants to leave it behind
He can't let it destroy, the peace he must find
So back to the black of space he returns
And here, it is, his final lesson he learns
The lesson that not all learn or can face
The lesson he can see and must embrace
To give his life so his friends might live
To release all he has left to give
All his friends now see and are left to mourn
Hoping his soul might no longer be lost; no longer forlorn
A final peaceful rest he might have at last
Free and away from his Keldarian past
To those left behind, his death, their hearts rend
Torn to pieces, from end to end
He finally made a difference to all,
In his short life, before his fall
His final wish was at last fulfilled
When the threat to his loved ones was revealed and killed
And now he continues to live, as a memory carved within
The hearts and minds of those he knew,
Those where, in his short life, love was planted and grew
His memory forever pending
He made his own upon his ending
The end of his life
Saved his friends, new family, any last strife


Trials and Tests of Life/Make Life Your Own (Past Sins)

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Trials and Tests of Life/Make Life Your Own
Past Sins

When you have no past to call your own
When your looks cause doubt to be sown
A filly taken into another's home
So she may be happy, not forced to roam
A happy life without idea of who she was
A happy foalhood of warmth and fuzz
Three new friends to adventure together
Four little fillies like birds of a feather
But alas, this could not last
For nopony can outrun mistakes of their past
Come to light to cause a scene
The Nightmare causing the tower to lean
Twilight staring, lost in thought
Losing Nyx, forgiveness then sought
In New Nightmare Moon, she sees her daughter so loved
Close to her death, this for this decision she's shoved
But nothing in this world, can beat what Twilight's sown
And away from her death, Twilight is thrown
For her little filly Nyx, finally had enough
Coming down on Nexus, Nyx starts getting tough
The sun will start to rise again, the ponies think they're freed
Only to be crushed again, though Nyx no longer leads
A curse discovered, the Nightmare cult is gone
Twilight's love of little Nyx, come out, shown and shone
No one left for comfort, a house that's not a home
Too guilty to even leave the place, to guilty to try and roam
Little Nyx has lost it all, friends and family too
She lost it all, to her fall, when her magic was forced anew
Now she has a castle, but money makes not the mare
She only seems happy, when ponies come back to share
So share she does, glad to do her part
Though when the monsters attack at last, she fights with a heavy heart
Guilt for being the cause, the cause of this attack
But though she may be guilty, courage she does not lack
Stop the monsters, fight for those who must escape this town
Even if, in the flood of monsters, she will surely drown
But against all odds she finally beats them back
And must hope to all above, they don't come back to sack
What's left of the ponies homes, little though they have
At least not one was lost, down to the smallest calves
Now Nyx must face her judgement, for upon release
Princesses will be livid, demanding the Nightmare cease
A beautiful finale, with Nyx's final fate
She got to stay with Twilight, not victim to others' hate
A well deserved fillyhood, for the lovely little foal
Though rocky it may be, love will fill the hole
No memory left of Nightmare Moon to taunt her little Nyx
Though her guilt as the Nightmare Queen has no easy fix
And down the road in hope they start, towards a better life
One that will not be, without a little strife
But hope they do, each day improved, upon the one before
On with each step, continue to move, finding each new door
Without a doubt life is a test, to try our very core
All we can do is our best, continuing to soar


The Order (The Order. Yes, the poem and story share the same name. Deal with it.)

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The Order
The Order (Yes the poem and story share the same name.)

Stuck in a place
Because of his race
And forced to love from afar

Flash looks at his life
The division and strife
He raises his spear to save

Love cannot bloom
When there is no room
His chances sealed in a tomb

And twilight will fall
In Histories Hall
Forced to follow his destiny's call

In a moment, all can change
In a moment, magic down the range
All it takes is a moment of rage
Like feelings released from a tiny cage

But that moment may come and go
Supressed by all who think they know
The best way to go is status quo

So Flash loses his chance
And continues to dance
Atop feelings forbidden to him

And he must continue on
Each new dawn
with a mask so tightly drawn

That when it breaks
Like striking snakes
He will be gone from her

For now he is forced wait
Resigned to his saddening fate
And hope being near her is enough to sate
His love for the Princess of change

Feelings his love can never return
Trying stop his heart's slow burn
Try and make his heart relearn
Their love can never have a turn

The Order is what keeps the peace
Never will the order cease
Forever will the order reign


Graves' Journey (Journey of Graves by GentlemanJ The series, not one single story.)

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Graves' Journey
Inspired by GentlemanJ's A Journey of Graves. The Series as a whole.
Roaming free across the land
Dealt by fate, an unfortunate hand
He tried to run, to escape his pain
He ran through sun and snow and rain
Buried beneath as he continues his work
Though in his air, does his past still lurk
Then along came a jewel, to try and break in
Break his mask and see him grin
A Rare break from his work defending
To stay in one place, the town, on him, depending
To stay in one place, and see the magic of friends
But one must remember, actions run in trends
As if to prove to all, too prove that this was true
Graves up and left, went to someplace new
But one must remember, when dealing with her
You don't leave behind, a love that felt so sure
She chased him down, to the country of the Changer
Rarity forced him to see, his heart was in no danger
He still did not believe, and broke his beauty's heart
With words nearly as lethal, as love's unholy dart
But when he finally listened, to his heart's one true desire
It was almost to late, to restart love's great pyre
But tried he did, and managed to make it light
And in the end of it all, it all turned alright
So now they live a life of love, Graves and Rarity
Though Graves still has small problems, with insanity
They work it out, sometimes shout, but still they carry on
For without strife, how in life, can someone say they shone.


Leaving the Past or Fear and Hope (The Walls Came Tumbling Down)

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Pre-Poem A/N: Before you read this, you should probably actually read the story it comes from. This avoids questioning my mental state while it is being read. It can still be enjoyed on its own, like the rest, but reading the story shows where it comes from.

Leaving the Past
The Walls Came Tumbling Down

Fear and black, a panic attack
Alone with all her fears
Fear and black, a panic attack
Hiding them for years

Fear and black, can't fight back
Shy is losing hope
Fear and black, can't fight back
She's at the end of her rope

Fear and black, the rope is cut
Forced to confront her past
Fear and black, the rope is cut
Admitting Shy's love at last

Fear and black, heart on the line
And Rainbow runs away
Fear and black, heart on the line
Does also Dash feel that way

Hope and love, little blue dove
Ponies together at last
Hope and love, little blue dove
Helping to heal the past

Hope and love, happiness found
But trials always show
Hope and love, happiness found
Thunder and hatred in tow

Hope and love, soaring high
Above ashes on the ground
Past confronted, fear then buried
True joy, at last, is found


A Home Found (Foal of the Forest)

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A Home Found
Foal of the Forest

In the Everfree, remaining unseen
A little colt tries to avoid the world's mean
But when a life's in danger, the colt must intervene
To protect a life, he lets himself be seen

When she sees the little colt, Shy cannot let go
Everyone deserves a family, she tries to let him know
But only hate he's seen in life, so his answer at first is no
He cannot see any joy, his heart has been laid low

A heart of stone that Shy must crack
When he agrees to stay
Getting the colts life on track
To try and help him on his way

But as all life's challenges
They are not left alone
And Applejack's blind hatred
Brings back Dawn's dark tone

Cult Solar and hatred follow
Where ever the poor colt roams
The pain of hatred's shadow
Prevents him finding a true home

But as with all trials beat
They get back to their hooves
Apologies and honesty meet
And force her guilty move

Apoligies from the Apple
Force the colt to break
His heart of stone starts to crack
And progress Dawn does make

Slowly he does feel, though the journey will be long
He will do right, he'll make mistakes, and try to right his wrongs
But long as his loving family's there, his heart may still find song.


Losing Control (Forgiveness Pending Chapter 58)

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Losing Control
Forgiveness Pending: Chapter Fifty-Eight

Losing his mind from the buildup endured
Madness suppressed, completely uncured
He loses his from the demons at last
Demons that came from an unearthed past
Lost to the madness, he will soon be
Lost to the madness, set your mind free
The nice guy killed, slowly from the inside
Caged in the back, forced along for the ride
As Madness lights up, and Mender's bridges he burns
He laughingly says "Yes! Oh, yes! They'll all learn!"
Watch the Monster take control [1]
Eating his sanity, destroying his soul [2]
While the Mender we know is forced to watch from within
While Madness takes hold, with a skull for a grin
But should he go insane, would he know
Would others see, would it show
If he went insane in a way just so
would anyone see, would anyone know?

~Black Sun Eclipse:moustache:

Untitled (The Road Not Taken)

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Road Not Taken

Bottled up rage, ignites in a flash
Taking it out, Twilight does lash
But in her remorse, tries to fix what she broke
A timeline change, she tries to evoke

Back to the past, twenty years before
The first time Defender was met at her door
It takes near death for the Princess to see
How much Defender does set her heart free

But is it too late, when they can't get home?
Is it too late, if the past they do roam?
Taking new names, new colours, new marks
They move through the ocean to take out the sharks

Demons from past, the hardest to end
To their past pony selves, help they do lend
But as they bite off, more than they chew
Past ponies do see, illusions pierced through

Once found at last, they must fix what is broke
Past and future selves meet, as equals they spoke

A lesson learned in this trip to the past,
A lesson learned as the end nears at last
But nothing goes perfect with time or space
For in the future, Twi's foal has no trace

So she cannot go back to her own time again
She cannot go back, until a time when
Years go by and hope is all lost,
Nothing they do, will pay the cost
Until Magic doth finally intervene,
Uniting lost loves and thier foal of between

Two timelines met, new friends they made
Lessons learned in full, high prices paid
Don't lose sight of your friends, for where ever they are
If they're in your heart, they'll never stray far

~Black Sun Eclipse:moustache:

Dark Before Dawn (See Author's Note)

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It's always darkest before the dawn,
the most dangerous of us, nothing more than the pawn.
So the world turns on, with the sunrise and set,
all of those we've only just met,
I stare at the beauty of the world as it turns,
and watch the as the plains of Zebrica burn.

~Black Sun Eclipsed:moustache:

Losing Her Grip [Hard Reset 2(Chapter:Among Monsters(1))]

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Losing Her Grip
Hard Reset 2. Chapter: Among Monsters(1)

Losing her equinity to the repeat of days
Like going through the motions and redoing the plays
As she goes on she falls farther away
From her sanity, a price she does pay
For setting things right will not come with ease
Paying dividends of sanity, as her reset fees
Becoming the monster she seeks to destroy
The little things like death only seem to annoy
And with no end in sight, perspective she lacks
Her facade she now wears, slowly starts showing cracks
Among the monsters she now rests her head
And as a monster, she now lays in her bed
As this downward spiral slowly goes on
Is there any way for her to see the beauty, and light, of the dawn?
Losing herself before she knows
Her coldness latches on and slowly grows
Until the day the loops finally end
At which point she'll look back and her heart will rend
At the terrible sight of what she's become
For her whole spirit, now black, has gone fully numb
She will be forced to confront an irreversible sight
She has finally become, darker than night

~Black Sun Eclipse:moustache:

The End (It Didn't Have to End This Way)

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The End
It Didn't Have to End This Way

To lose it all to a trusted friend
To watch your home come to an end
Sanity slipping, but feeling no pain
Hope killed, buried and slain
But still she walks this lonely earth
The place she loved, the place of birth
The lives she kept, the lives of love
Lives dead from a little shove
Of the sun, the source of life
Now the cause of death and strife
As hell's gates opened and released
The monsters on life and love to feast
But still she walks, holding false hope
Holding the facade to avoid the rope
As she wanders alone forever more
Waiting to be able to enter, death's welcoming door.

Insanity Embraced [Hard Reset 2 (Among Monsters Arc)]

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Becoming the monster and seeing you fate
Seeing you become the thing that you hate
But being unable to change, forcing yourself on
Creeping farther into the dark, before seeing yourself at dawn
And when you see what you've become
A mournful tune, all will hum
But as you fall farther into the black
Once the future is saved, can you turn back
Back from the dark and insanity you embrace
Will you look back, look it in the face
Or hide away in the shadows not to see the light
Hide away in shadows, giving up the fight
A loss of all you know, inside yourself and out
And all you can do now, is sadly fall and shout
Your despair unheard by any above
Untainted as you insured they could live on in love
But only if you become the monster you hate
Only in embracing your darkening fate.

Black Sun Eclipse:moustache:

A Circular Breakdown(Hard Reset)

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A Circular Breakdown

Hard Reset

Round and round, watch time go
Where it stops, she never know
Death becomes nothing, a kill just resets
Forever around, never a break she gets
Same hours even, once more Tartarus begins again
She always know where, she always knows when
The world burns around her and it all becomes routine
There is no more moment, of ‘so I must scream’
She learns to endure, to carry the burden through
To enter this hell again , and begin the cycle anew
The end is not what the end once was
A new beginning to life, to the pain because
Nothing is easy, not even the end,
The end of it all, for which she seeks to mend
No longer going on, she hopes for harmony to fix
But too many tries it seems, to long for the plan to tick
A perfect run is what she needs
A perfect score for her hope to feed
And when that run comes at so long last…
She finds herself once more in the past
To loop again when they didn’t work
To loop again, her sanity shirked
To become Queen and Master of her realm
To destroy Equestria at her blood soaked helm
The end turned out to begin anew
A life she can no longer force herself through
But she cannot end it, no, never again
There is no time, no more when
Only hell, where her home has become
Lost forever… old… regretful… numb

~The Shadow of Death:moustache:

In Final Moments (The End)

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In Final Moments

The End by Lighthawk

The End of it all is here
The coming of darkness
Creation of fear

Yet they all hold out to the final and last
Future no longer, remember the past

When the skies rain fire and the oceans become steam
When Terra is done and tears are a stream
They hold those they love, they hold them tight
For every minute and second, is a final figh

Cause when they lose it all comes to an end
Their power over all, creating a world rend
But with each to the last, the alicorns stay
That they meet those they love, the Princesses pray

As leaving this life, the memory does not end
Deeds and hope, into the future,
Their existence does send

It matters not that there's nopony left
That of life, the world is bereft,
For they tried their best, they fought to mend
And go on into peace, but met their end

An end they met with heads held high
In a final rest, do the alicorns lie

Lament of the Dogs (H'ven Sent)

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Lament of the Dogs
H'ven Sent

As Darkness falls in the world around
The eversleep beacons, its siren sound
The end of life, the canines fade
Fight to the last, resistance made
But in the end, it was out of their paws
For all their strength, there was but one flaw
Another one was acting their god
Killed by trust in a deadly fraud
Weep at the loss, loss of such life
Lost in the dark, back hosting knife
We will never forget, though we may never know
We will always remember, as within their home we now grow

Silent Return (Crystal's Wishes)

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Silent Return
Crystal's Wishes Chapter: Moonlight Shadow

As they return from over the sea,
There is only one I wish to see
He who promised to return to me
Only once I see him again will I be free

From worry and doubt that plagues my mind
Did he go on and leave me behind?
A truth to this visit I must find
Of the one I love, and hope loves in kind

What happened to my silent knight?
He who shines with radiance bright
He who promised to come back alright
What has happened to my Silent Knight?

Grip of the Heart / Heal Me (Secrets of a Royal Guard)

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Grip of the Heart / Heal Me
Secrets of a Royal Guard

Grip of the heart and the vice of the mind
Of the darkness and lonely, our soul is lined
To help the weak is our purpose held true
But in need of help, I am too
Hardened of heart, though I might be
It still harms my soul, in ways you can't see
But admitting this would prove me weak
So this help, I will never seek
Admit to the need, I will never do
So seeing my hurt, falls to you
I suffer in silence, in ways no one sees
Until it's too late, and I fall to my knees
So come to my mind, and come into my heart
See my wounds, so my healing might start
Make me see, the lines I'm blind too
Make me see, the lines stark and true
Or descend into darkness, I will forevermore,
Until I can't go lower, and stand at death's door
The death of the soul, an empty shell in full
Please don't let it happen, take my hoof and pull...

A Journey Concludes (Crystal's Wishes)

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A Journey Concludes
Crystal's Wishes

The wishes of a filly, starting from small,
Watching her grow, answer life's call
Through romance and roses, she saw the world
Around her always, inspiration swirled
Though pain of the heart must sometimes had
She found the good; those reasons to be glad
Love and friendship, found through the years
Those to hold close; to speak of your fears
And one to hold closer, your silent knight
He of frozen heart, and armour bright
The frozen heart, to thaw so slow
The stony facade to warm and grow
Though separate, your paths had their start
Now merged together, a single work of art

A story told; a chapter to close
But the journey goes on,
the path still grows
It marches on, with twists and bends
Never knowing what's next,
What the future will send
But for one thing, and one alone
You will stand together forever
Love set in stone

Secrets and Costs (Secrets of a Royal Guard)

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Secrets and Costs
Secrets of a Royal Guard

No more secrets, no more lies
Only the truth, left out to dry
The Guard leaves home, heading for war
To return to his love, he all but swore
But that return might not be all in one piece
The Silent we know, will upon that day will cease
Growth and change is the way of life
Trials in fire, facing down strife,
but no matter what happens, time marches on
bringing each day, a brand new dawn
but each day is not always dawned new
Sometimes your demons follow you
Trials of life, and trials of war
Facing all these, and so much more
Never again will he be the same
Never again will he shed the shame
Trials we live though, and so much is lost
Every action we take, has a cost
The costs can be large, the costs can be small
But tell me, Knight, do you truly know them all?