One day, Twilight was walking down Ponyville’s main street. Applejack saw her and thought to herself “Wow - she’s hot.” She went to see Fluttershy. “I think Twilight’s hot.”
"Um…um…me too. I have dreams about her and I wake up to find Angel on the couch with a look of disgust on his face.”
Applejack said “Let’s see if anypony else thinks Twilight is hot.”
Sure enough, all her other friends did, too. Pinkie said she was hotter than hot fudge on a cinnamon candy covered in hot sauce that was baked extra hot, Rarity just panted, and it took ten minutes for Rainbow Dash to bring her wings down.
"Hey!" shouted Pinkie. "Let’s all go tell Twilight we think she’s hot!"
"Good idea!" said the other four.
Pinkie pounded on Twilight’s door. Twilight answered the door and Pinkie shouted, “We all think you’re hot!”
Twilight went red with embarrassment and chastised Pinkie. “You shouldn’t just come to somepony’s door and tell them you think they’re hot! That’s not the sort of thing you should do and you should all come in so we can have a long talk about this!”
I live in the Pink-haired Yellow One’s house. She is a four-legged one and a kindly spirit. I respect kindness, particularly towards the animals of the forest, for though many eat us, many more do not and are friends to me and my kind. Her house is always warm, both with heat and affection and it is a fine place to stay.
I have taken it upon myself to help the Pink-haired Yellow One in what ways I can, whether by ensuring she finds what she is looking for when needed, or helping heal her animal friends. She believes her skill at healing is entirely her own, and this is very nearly true - she is indeed quite skilled. I simply encourage the healing she does to work more strongly and faster than normal.
She has many visitors from he forest and feeds them well, so my belly is always full.
The Pink-haired Yellow One has a pet of her own. She calls it ‘Angel’ and it is a rabbit. It treats her with great disrespect - as a guest to her home, it should be more mindful of her feelings.
I pinch it sometimes in my anger, but it either doesn't feel it or just ignores me.
The Pink-haired Yellow One has a handful of friends, who are also four-legged ones like her: The Yellow-haired Orange One, the Purple-haired White One, The Double-pink One, The Rainbow-haired Sky-colored One and the Dark-haired Purple One. They visit the Pink-haired Yellow One often. They call her “Flootashee,” but I prefer my name better - it is easier to say and remember.
The Double-pink One knows of me - when I first saw her, she saw me in turn, and gave me a wink and a grin. She appears to keeping me her secret, however, as opposed to telling the others. I can smell powerful magic from her, though the others cannot sense it. The Dark-haired Purple One has much magic as well, but her magic does not smell like the Double-pink’s does - sweet with the scent of honey and pure joy. I like her almost as much as my Pink-haired Yellow One.
The Pink-haired Yellow One is afraid of many things and I like to think I guard her from her fears in my own small way, but her soul is as powerful as a mountain is tall. She keeps it's power hidden until she needs it and then hides it away again when she doesn't. Truly she is powerful, but she does not gloat or boast or attempt to intimidate and when she uses her strength it is always for the sake of another, never for her own.
And I respect that as well.
I am a duwende - a house-elf - and have never truly had a home, as my kind travel from house to house forever and always, helping those whose homes we visit, before travelling to the next. But from what I have seen from my Pink-haired Yellow One, I think I shall choose to travel no longer.
The alarm gently rang and I reached a hoof over to silence it.
"Puddin’…" I whispered to the lightly sighing mare beside me, "It’s time to get up…"
She mumbled slightly and rolled over. I smiled - my wife sometimes needed a bit of persuasion to wake up. I leaned forward and nibbled the back of her neck in that way she likes and was rewarded with a quiet moan followed by a chuckle. She rolled back again and gave me a nuzzle. “You always know how to wake a girl up, gingersnap.”
"What can I say? I've had years of practice, " I replied as she sits up and stretches. The sunlight through the curtain shines on her just the right way as her back arches.
Celestia's sun, Cup even stretches beautifully.
She blinks the sleep from her eyes as I leave our bedroom to go check on the twins. I hear them giggling, followed by a third giggle punctuated with a small snort.
Pinkie’s on the job, I see.
I don’t know how she does it but she always seems to be up and there to greet them a few seconds before they wake up. Pound and Pumpkin absolutely adore her, and waking up to her bright smile brings smiles to their faces in turn. I stepped into their room and Pinkie broke off from playing with the twins. Pound and Pumpkin’s eyes lit up and they greeted me with gurgles as they crawled over to me and hugged my forelegs, followed by a hug from Pinkie.
"Foals present and accounted for, sir! Pumpkin went boom-boom, but has been cleaned, powdered and re-diapered sir! ” She gave her morning report with a serious look on her face and a salute, which she held for about three seconds before dissolving into giggles.
"Keep up the good work, Captain Pie," I replied with a grin and a shake of my head. "You’re doing us proud!"
I headed to the bathroom and turned the taps of the shower until the room was filled with just the right amount of steam. I stepped in and began humming happily. A few moments later the door opened and my wife slipped into the shower alongside me. Cup and I often shower together to save hot water, but sometimes we do it to ‘save hot water’. We generally come out of those showers a bit pinker than usual.
Today, however, it was just a typical shower - we had a bakery to open, after all.
Tonight, however...
Cup scrubbed my back, I scrubbed hers, we toweled off and headed downstairs.
I flipped the sign in the window to 'Open', opened the front door and took a deep breath of the morning air. I looked up into the clear blue summer sky and felt a peck on my cheek as my wife trotted to the front counter. I took another breath of air, waved to passing ponies and joined my wife behind the counter, who sidled up beside me and laid her head on my shoulder.
I smiled and waited for the first of the day’s customers to arrive.
Celestia shook her head solemnly. “When have I ever played a joke on my little sister, Lu’?”
Luna raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, so when have I played a joke on you this month?”
Luna’s eyebrow shot up again.
Celestia scowled. “Heyheyhey…That incident with the white paint was not my fault. He should have known the floor had just been washed.”
“You laughed your ass off!" growled Luna.
”I 'laughed my ass off', sister mine, because the paint had hit you smack in the face. With your dark coat, it made you look just like a mime. Anyway, the poor colt was so terrified of possible repercussions that I had to have a guard escort him home - he could barely stand, he was so frightened. I paid him triple as compensation as well.”
Luna grumbled and then grinned slightly. “Yes, I suppose put that way, it was amusing. Perhaps I’ll pay him a visit and tell him there are no hard feelings. But back to the point at hoof: you’re dating him?”
"Yes. What of it?" asked Celestia.
"But he not even a pony, ‘tai!”
Celestia tutted. “Shame on you, Luna. Let’s not bring race into it - you know all are equal within our kingdom. Anyway, you’re hardly one to cast aspersions. I happen to know you have your eye set on a certain griffon. Shockreed was his name I think?”
Luna blushed. “You know about that? I thought I’d hidden that rather well. And it’s ‘Lockheed’.”
Celestia grinned at her younger sister’s discomfort. “You’ve always been the more emotional of the two of us. And not very good at hiding your feelings. I can see the attraction, though - he’s quite handsome.”
"Don’t evade the topic, sister. We were talking about your interest, not mine. And I still can’t believe you’re dating him.”
"I really fail to see your problem."
"But he’s so…crude.”
"I admit he is a tad rough around the edges, but it’s almost entirely an act. He’s surprisingly kind when he’s not working. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover."
"And the way he shouts all the time…”
Celestia cleared her throat. ”Remind you of anyone, Lu’?”
Luna had the good grace to be embarrassed.
"I mean it’s not like he knows it’s me anyway, Lu' - obviously I go out disguised unless it’s an official function, same as you do.He thinks I’m nothing more than a rather pretty pegasus named Dawnsun. This is just for fun: he gets some well deserved affection and I get more of a feel for the constituents of our kingdom - get to know them more as who they are. Our relationship is purely platonic.
"He actually complimented me on my beauty the very first time I saw him. We’d bumped into each other while at the market. He apologized extremely politely, even though it was really my fault and then commented on how lovely I was and asked my name. When I told him, he said it was perfect name for me. I was so impressed with his unexpected politeness that I decided to pursue a relationship. It actually took a while to get him to agree to begin dating; he’s rather shy in these situations.”
"Shy. Him?”
"As I said, Lu': Book. Cover. Marvelous singing voice, too."
"Oh now you are kidding.”
Celestia raised a hoof and placed it over her heart.
"I promise - every word I speak is the truth. The two of us went to a karaoke bar, just for fun; the applause was quite extensive. We even had breakfast together once. Quite nice - he really took quite an effort to impress me. His Belgian waffles are to die for.”
"So he’s polite, he can sing well and he can cook?”
"Yes. Quite a ‘catch’ I believe the term is. Wouldn't you agree?"
I know that sounds silly - I mean I am a pegasus, so that’s like saying I was no good at being myself, and everypony is good at...
Oh dear. Fluttershy, you silly thing, going off on tangents already.
Let me start again.
When I was a filly, I never left the clouds. Oh, I tried my best, of course, but the simple fact of the matter was back then I suffered from vertigo.
Imagine that; I live in the sky, but looking down scared me.
The others learned to fly, while I could barely keep my wings open. The others dared to take that leap of faith when I was too afraid to even try. I had to watch the others pass me by and simply accept that. I'd even taken it into my head at one point that my parents were ashamed of me. I know that's an absolutely horrid thing to say about them, but I was very self-conscious in those days.
So there I sat. Flapping madly, but going nowhere. Seeing the teacher's look of pity every day, as I failed once more. Returning home, embarrassed and retreating to my room to wallow in my shame. It's no wonder that I was teased and taunted so often.
Then I met her.
It was lunchtime and I was enjoying a fine carrot salad, when some of the other students came by for their daily teasing session.
I don’t hold this against them, of course - I'd long since reached the point that I felt I deserved it, what with my being such a disappointment to the others. Besides, they’d eventually grow bored or run out of things to call me and would leave me alone. All I had to do was keep my head down and wait.
They started up as they usually did, with their taunts and teasing when I heard a rough voice: “Quit picking on her.”
"Why should we?" said Duster, the leader of the gang. "Who’s gonna stop us? You?"
"If I have to. And don’t think I’ll back down just because there are three of you, either."
I looked up to see a sky-blue pegasus with a multi-colored mane and tail glowering at Duster.
"Yeah right. I’d like to see you try," replied Duster, disparagingly.
"And I’d like you to be dumb enough to make me." She pawed at the cloud and snorted, lowering her head and partially opening her wings. I went slightly pale - violence is never an answer to anything, and I didn't wish anypony hurt on my account. I was just considering retreating and hopefuly defusing the event when there came a sigh.
"Fine. Whatever. Let’s go, guys - she’s not worth the trouble. After all, it's not like she'll go anywhere, right 'Neverfly'? Have fun with your fillyfriend, Crash.”
I stared at the filly. She approached me.
"You okay?"
"Um…um…yes. You…you shouldn’t have done that. They always quit after a bit…"
She snorted. “Are you just gonna let them trot all over you like that?”
"Um…yes?"
She rolled her eyes. “Look kid, I can’t just let that go. You don’t deserve it.”
"Well…maybe I sort of do. I mean…"
"Stop. Right. There." she said sharply. I squeaked and broke off.
She gave me an equally sharp look. "You don’t ever deserve that sort of treatment, and I’ll make sure it stops or my name isn’t Rainbow Dash. I'll be here for you, kid.”
That was the day I met my best friend. Over time, she became like a big sister to me, even though I was slightly older than her.
From that day forth, she was always by my side - defending my honor from the other students (sometimes physically, which I would always apologize for, much to her embarrassment), showing me a few tricks to deal with my vertigo and make attaining flight just a bit easier for me, and giving me just enough of a confidence boost to allow me to finally ‘earn my wings’.
I'll always remember that day. Sure, I wasn't the fastest in the sky, but I got there in the end.
If I hadn’t met Rainbow, who knows how my life may have turned out? I'd still be cloudbound and afraid of falling, I'd still be looked down upon by those who felt superior. I'd remain nothing more than an embarrassment. Our friendship was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me, and a memory that will always stand out as one of my warmest, even more so than getting my cutie mark - which, it turned out, she had a hoof in as well.
Rainbow Dash helped make me what I am today. And I love her for it.
Once you were simply a friend; just one of my five BFFs. You were all fun and games and I was ‘the serious one’. I still can’t be sure who made the first move – I’d always thought it was me, but maybe we both did at the same time. I don’t suppose it really matters.
I used to be so studious - spending all of my free time reading and learing and experimenting. Then one day you talked me into taking ‘a night on the town’.
Then it became a habit.
It all started with a goodbye hug. Just a simple hug, nothing more. You were always good with hugs.
Then you decided it would be cute to make it a peck on the cheek instead and that got the ball rolling. I’ll never forget the day I thought, ‘To Tartarus with it’ and turned the usual goodbye cheek smooch into a full-fledged kiss. I swear I just meant it as a joke – we were both comfortable around the other and I could just laugh it off as the joke I’d meant it to be. I knew you’d have found it funny.
You’re that way.
But a simple kiss turned into a complex one – it was just a kiss on the lips, nothing more. Five seconds later, though…
It turned out that you were just waiting for this moment and, after getting over the shock (how’s that for funny? I was trying to shock you …), I found that I had been too. Eventually one of us had to come up for air. We looked into each other’s eyes and went for a second course.
Then we went back to your place for dessert…
Now that’s a memory that will be with me forever.
Since then we were an item – a source of jealousy for both mares and stallions, not to mention our other friends. Rainbow still gives me the odd dirty look.
And it was marvelous. We were the perfect pair. Opposites, as they say, really do attract.
If I had a bad day, you always said or did just the right thing to help. If I were tired, you’d be my comforter. If I were under the weather, you'd make the clouds go away. If I had a good day, you’d make it even better, one way or another.
And sometimes more than one way.
And when you were sad, I’d find a way to turn that frown upside down, when you were ill, I’d make being sick not so bad, and even when you’ve think you’d had the bestest day ever, well…
Let’s just say I had a good teacher in that respect.
You’re a breath of fresh air in a cloud of smoke. A cool breeze on a hot day. A warm fire on a cold one. You’re always just what I need when I need it most.
If it weren’t for you, my life would be so boring, so utterly mundane, so empty. I would have nothing but days and nights alone in my library. And I couldn’t live with that, now that I know better – that I know what I’d been depriving myself of. That kiss was the greatest thing I’d ever done, because it gave me you.
And I know as long as we stay together, the world’s ills won’t be more than a stepping stone, both for me and for you. Nothing bad can happen that we can’t overcome. Problems simply won’t matter. They’ll just be ‘something to deal with’.
Together.
So let the bad things happen. Let the world’s weight be set upon my shoulders. I don’t care, because at the end of the day, you’ll be there to make everything better. And I’ll do the same for you.
Always.
It’s just you and me against the world. May Celestia help the world.
Pinkemina Diane Pie, you are my Very Special Somepony.
Grace of Celestia, whoda thunk it? Me, a hunnert years old. Why it seems like only yesterday my son married and blessed my home and life with two granddaughters and a grandson.
Proudest day of my life when he an’ his wife (Celestia rest their hard-working souls) paid call with their little colt Macintosh. ‘This is your granny’, he said, and Mac looked up at me with those big green eyes and smiled and I smiled back. He was just as quiet then as he is now. Wonderful child, hard worker and polite as you could ever ask. Never was much the talkin’ sort, even to me, but he loves his Granny just the same, so that’s good enough fer me.
Ain’t so little now, ‘course, but I’ll always see him as that little red bundle of joy.
A few years later I was graced with the first of my granddaughters, Applejack. Feisty little thing, even as a filly. Never backed down from a challenge, even to her dismay an’ never told a single lie nor fib. Macintosh adored her – he was always there for his ‘li’l sis’ an’ he helped me raise her and raise her right.
There was that little stint where she ran off to Manehattan, but she was back soon enough after seein’ the error of her ways. Didn’t get angry at her, neither. She was young and needed to get it out of her system. Sow her wild oats. Dare say I probably had a time like that myself when I were little.
My goodness that was so long ago.
And then came my second granddaughter, Apple Bloom. A lot like her sister: a hard worker with a bit of zip to her. She n’Applejack have taken to making games of their chores, much like Mac did with her. Not quite so sure about her taste in friends, them ‘Cutie Mark Commandos’, or whathaveyou, but I figger she just needs to get it outta her system like with her big sister. I ain’t gonna judge.
Little sprout’s quite upset about not having her ‘mark, of course, and I can understand it: seems all of us Apples are…slow bloomers. Heh. Someday it’ll happen, and I hope I’m there to see it.
Naturally, most of the family are here: well close to a hunnert, which is kinda ‘propriate. An’ of course all Ponyville knows ‘bout it, too. Quite a feat, reachin’ an age such as mine.
Applejack’s friends arrived, nicest bunch of fillies you’re ever likely to meet and the best friends one could ever hope to be blessed with: kind, considerate, loyal, an’ friendly. Couple of ‘em are kinda rough ‘round the edges, but ain’t nobody perfect.
An’ that’s all right. Sometimes, not being perfect makes you perfect.
Pinkie came a-bouncin’ in a short time after the others, pullin’ a cart with the best Sugarcube Corner has to offer an’ trailin’ a hunnert balloons behind her, like ducks followin’ their momma - cupcakes tied to the strings of each of them. Just enough for all the family an’ her friends. Dunno how she does it, the clever little filly. S’like she’s got the magic. Maybe she' got some unicorn in her. Wouldn't surprise me one bit.
A hunnert years old. My stars. Wonder what’ll happen on my two hunnert birthday?
Hello, Princess. My name is Pipsqueak. Do you remember me? You came to visit Ponyville last Nightmare Night. You scared everyone with your shouty voice and scary joke and when we knew you were just playing a prank we all laughed and I told you you were my faver favourite Princess ever. Don’t tell Princess SelSill your sister that I said that, though. I don’t want to get in trouble.
I thought it would be nice to send you a letter because you maybe never got one before.
How have you been? Have you been making any friends since Nightmare Night? I’ve made a few. One of them is a filly named Sweetie Belle who goes to school with me. She’s a very special kind of friend, though. She makes me all shivery when I see her, and that’s what makes her special. Mum says the shivery feeling means something good and Mums are never wrong.
They aren’t allowed to be. It’s a rule.
I like Ponyville. Everypony is fren friendly mostly, but some aren’t, but that’s okay because more are than aren’t. Mostly it’s two fillies in my school who aren’t nice, but I don’t want to tattle and get them in trouble with you. My teacher Miss Chair Cheerilee is very sweet and told my Mum and Dad I’m a very cute student for my age. I don’t know what being cute has to do with doing so well in class, but it was a nice thing to say. I’m very good with numbers and sums compared to the others and that’s why she thinks I’m so cute.
At least I think she said cute.
I even have some grown-up friends. One of them is Sweetie Belle’s sister and she’s very pretty. Her name is Miss Rarity and she smiles really nicely whenever she sees me, especially if I’m playing with Sweetie Belle. She makes clothes that are even prettier than she is. My Mum is having a dress made by her, which will make Mum the prettiest in the world.
Miss Twylight Twilight runs the library. You met her on Nightmare Night, remember? She helped you make friends with everypony. She’s very clever and thinks about things all the time. She learns things just like I do, from books with really fancy words in them that make my head hurt. I didn’t know grown-ups needed to learn things, but Miss Twilight is special. She can do really good magic tricks, just like I’m really good with sums.
Does that mean she’s cute, too?
One of the most fun grown up friends is Miss Pinkie (she says I can just call her Pinkie, but that wouldn’t be right because I’m not grown up yet). She’s a lot like the foals I play with and almost nothing like a grown-up. I really like her.
She works at ShuShoo the town bakery and she makes all sorts of treats and brings some for us sometimes. But sometimes she just gobbles them all up. I don’t think she means to, though. Her treats are very yummy, so maybe she can’t help herself.
She always smells just like the bakery she works in and she likes giving me a hug when she sees me, so I always feel like I’m inside her bakery when she does.
Miss Fluttershy is a pegasus. She has a very long and pretty mane and tail and always seems kind of sad or scared and is very quiet, but she’s very kind and likes animals a lot. The animals like her, too, and she helps them when they’re sick or hurt.
There are two others, but I don’t see them very much. One is Miss Applejack and she is Applebloom’s big sister (Applebloom goes to school with me). She works on a farm. She grows apples and they’re the best anywhere. She’s usually working because running a farm is hard.
The other is Miss Rainbow, who is a pegasus like Miss Fluttershy. She’s very loud and says naughty things sometimes.
You probably know them already, though, since they’re friends of Miss Twilight.
Most of the foals in school are friends with me, except the two I told you about who are quite snooty. Sweetie Belle is friends with Applebloom and another filly named Scootaloo and they go on adventures. They usually get in trouble, though.
There’s a colt named Snails who I’m good friends with. He’s very tall and very silly sometimes and the others tease him a lot, but I like him. He has a best friend named Snips who is quite loud and gets teased a lot too.
I hope you write me back, but Mum and Dad say you’re very busy with the moon and being a Princess so maybe you can’t. That’s okay though, because they also said that writing you a letter is a nice thing to do and that it’s the thought that counts.
I hope you visit us again this Nightmare Night and scare us all again. That was fun.
Your friend,
Pipsqueak
PS Remember not to tell your sister I like you more, okay?
Yes, I indeed remember you. You were the well-mannered young pirate with the eyepatch and the vicious-looking sword. I’m certainly glad I was on your good side that eve - I feared for my life, though I hid it well.
It is indeed pleasant to receive a letter from you, and you have brightened my day in doing so.
I admit to having some trouble getting used to how things are as compared to so long ago, but it is becoming easier. Friendship was hard to come by at first - my ‘shouty voice’ was scary to others as well. I’ve since brought down the volume of my voice, and this has helped, though your friendship is the one I will most treasure.
As your Mother has said, this ‘shivery feeling‘ that you get when you see your friend Sweetie Belle is indeed something special, though I myself have not felt it in some time. I will be keeping it’s meaning a secret as she appears to be doing as well. You will thank us both when you discover it’s meaning for yourself.
And I agree: they aren’t allowed to be wrong. I may pass a law to that respect some day.
I found Ponyville a fine and friendly place myself, after my rather awkward start there. Many ponies find me scary for something bad that I did a very long time ago, but they know that I’m very sorry, and this has helped calm them. Some need more work to make friends with, but I have no doubt that you will win them over in time, much as I have with the ponies of Equestria. I've also no doubt this will apply to the two fillies in question, you need only be patient and continue showing them your willingness to befriend them.
You are right, though - tattling on them is wrong, and you are very mature to realize this.
I believe Miss Cheerilee meant ‘acute’, which means quite smart. She sounds like a fine teacher if you are to learn so quickly from her - a student is only as good as their teacher, after all.
I know your grown-up friends well - they helped make me better when I was very sick, and I owe them a debt that can never be repaid. To my Sister and I, they are known as 'The Elements of Harmony':
Miss Rarity, the seamstress, is the Element of Generosity. She is always willing to give of herself to those in need, and if somepony lacks something, she will offer it without hesitation. Being generous is often its own reward.
Miss Fluttershy, who cares for the animals of the forest, is the Element of Kindness. Though she is quite...well...shy, she knows that a simple quiet word can have a greater effect than an action and being nice to somepony is often the right thing to do, despite the situation.
Miss Applejack, who tends her groves in Sweet Apple Acres, is the Element of Honesty. She'll never tell you a lie - anything she tells you is the rock-solid truth and is trusted without hesitation.
Miss Pinkie Pie, baker and party pony, is the Element of Laughter, which isn't hard to see if you spend more than a minute with her. She believes almost anything can be solved with a smile and that parties are just a special way to say hello.
She's one of my favorites, though she took some getting used to.
Miss Rainbow Dash, Ponyville's resident weather pegasus, is the Element of Loyalty. Though she is loud and sometimes lets her mouth get the better of her, she'll always be by your side, no matter the situation.
And finally, Miss Twilight Sparkle, keeper of Golden Oaks, is the Element of Magic, which makes all of the other elements come together as a whole. She is very acute, knowing almost everything about everything, or at least having a book about it in her library. She is probably one of the most powerful magic-users in Equestria, and a student of my Sister.
Treasure them as I do; they will make an even better colt of you than you are now.
One or two are a bit rough around the edges, but nopony is perfect, not even me.
I have heard of the three fillies you speak of, even here. ‘Adventures’ and ‘trouble’ are good words to use to describe them, as one usually ends up leading to the other, especially where they are concerned. Still, though, their hearts are generally in the right place.
You do this colt Snails an honor by befriending him; everypony should have at least one, and I don’t think he could do much better than you as a first.
My duties do indeed keep me quite busy - raising and lowering the moon are only a part of them - but I always have time to speak with a friend, whether by mail or in person. Your parents are indeed correct; it never hurts to be nice to anypony, no matter who. More often than not, your effort will pay for itself in another friendship.
You can never have too many. Trust me on this.
Sleep well and dream happy dreams, my young friend.
The pumpkin sat there flickering brightly, the candlelight shining through its thinly cut shell.
“Okay. Why?”
Pinkie blinked. “Why what, Twilight?”
"Why would you carve that?"
"What’s wrong with it? It ‘symbolizes the spirit of Nightmare Night,’ like you said."
"Well yes, but…”
And what symbolizes Nightmare Night more than a jack-o-lantern?
"Yes, Pinkie, I agree, but you carved a jack-o-lantern as your jack o-lantern.”
The pumpkin continued glowing happily, a small oval shape carefully scraped from the middle, with tiny eyes and a spooky smile.
“I’m…still failing to see the problem here, Twilight.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You know what? I’m not even going to question that anymore. At least you didn’t make tarts out of it this time.”
“What was wrong with the tarts?”
“Well, nothing, it’s just that wasn’t really what you were supposed to do with the pumpkin.”
She scribbled something on the scroll that was following dutifully behind her and carried on.
Twilight was this year’s Nightmare Night jack–o-lantern judge and, as with any responsibility given, she was taking her duty seriously, taking notes as she toured the pumpkins. There were fancy jack-o-lanterns and simple jack-o-lanterns, large ones and small.
Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t carve anything at all – Rarity because she refused to get her house and herself all messy with ‘that horrid pumpkin moosh’ and Fluttershy because...well because she was Fluttershy; anything to do with Nightmare Night was a no-go.
Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle (having absconded with Rarity’s pumpkin) had created jack-o-lanterns of their own that were unlike any she had seen before.
They were on fire.
Twilight gave them extra points for that.
Applejack’s pumpkin was a nice traditional spooky face. Nothing outlandish or daring, but a well carved jack-o-lantern nonetheless. Rainbow Dash’s was just a series of scratches – she said she was trying to make a picture of the Wonderbolts’ insignia but ‘the pumpkin wouldn’t let her.’
And so she continued on, judging each jack-o-lantern for its complexity and skill and taking her notes. Soon she had decided on the winner and the two runners-up.
But first, Twilight had something special planned for everypony before rewarding the prizes: a jack-o-lantern of her own. As the judge, she couldn’t take part in the actual contest, this was just for the others to enjoy. But it wasn’t just going to be a typical jack-o-lantern, oh no. This was going to be a complete representation of her friends, the entire town and its residents. They’d even move.
She’d been working on this spell for weeks – in fact it had taken Twilight nearly that long to find a pumpkin big enough to work. This was gonna wow ‘em.
She stepped up to the huge pumpkin in the town square, cracked her neck and closed her eyes. Her horn lit up and a purple beam shot out towards the pumpkin. She smiled in anticipation of the applause she would no doubt receive.
The explosion was monumental, impressive and very, very messy.
One pony thinking ‘My neighbor has it better than me’ brought it into the world.
Oh,it was a tiny thing at first, as all newborns are, but it began growing soon enough, and quickly. Jealousy was easily found here, for there were three tribes found across the land, each of which held dark thoughts towards the others.The ponies of the sky were jealous of their brethren who could control magic, the ponies of magic were jealous of the ponies of the sky for having the heavens all to themselves, and the ponies of the earth were envious of both, for they had nothing, not magic nor wings, and they knew the others snubbed them for this.
Yes, jealousy was easily found and it ate its fill. Soon it took a name.
'Malevolence.'
Eventually Malevolence found that jealousy no longer filled it as before.
Soon the jealousy of the three tribes reached its breaking point. One day, a pony of one tribe struck a pony from another out of its jealousy. That pony struck back and soon the two tribes tribes were at it, involving the third eventually.
Malevolence had found something new to feed upon. Malevolence had found hate.
Malevolence grew strong on this hatred and greedily wanted more. It called forth a great storm of cold and ice, one that affected all three tribes and waited to see what would happen.
As Malevolence had hoped, the storm had the desired effect. The storm killed the food the ponies of the earth sowed, and the ponies of the sky and the ponies of magic went hungry. The three tribes each blamed the other. The ponies of the earth were blamed for hoarding their food and letting the other tribes suffer. The ponies of the sky were blamed for allowing the storm to continue, without using their abilities to stop it. And both tribes pointed a hoof at the ponies of magic and blamed them, saying their spells had created this unstoppable storm.
Malevolence feasted on both the jealousy and hate it had created, both of which grew and grew. Malevolence laughed aloud as the tribes threatened to go to war.
Unfortunately, the storm Malevolence had created eventually bonded the three tribes as one, and the jealousy and hatred began to dissipate, weakening it. But through the years, Malevolence learned a trick: it could whisper spiteful thoughts into the ears of those that it could easily sway, and strengthen any jealous thoughts it already found there.
It could even control these ponies to some degree, for it would promise them the strength to act upon this jealousy and hate. And many accepted, using this given strength to fulfill their vengeance, learning too late the trick Malevolence had played as it fed upon them, soon destroying them from within.
These were enough for Malevolence to survive upon, but soon it began to despair - its strength was fading further, and these morsels were not enough to sustain it any more. Soon it began to dissipate, and Malevolence knew fear.
And then Malevolence felt it.
A source of jealousy and hatred of a strength it had never encountered in all its years - one which drowned out those of the three tribes combined. It rushed forth, seeking the source, soon finding it in the form of a large dark pony, the likes of which never seen before - one with the wings of the ponies of the sky and the horn of the ponies of magic. This new pony, this 'alicorn' as Malevelonce learned it was called, felt jealousy and hatred towards her sister, to such a degree and depth that Malevolence could never feed upon it all.
And yet, there was also a light within her, a light which prevented the dark pony from acting on this jealousy and hatred. A light which was growing dimmer and dimmer.
And so Malevolence crept upon the pony and whispered its message into her ear, promising to give her its strength as it had promised countless others, so that she may strike down her sister while it gorged on her dark thoughts.
Malevelence whispered.
The light dimmed, but the dark pony paid no heed.
Malevolence coaxed and persuaded..
The light dimmed, but the dark pony paid no heed.
Malevolence told the dark pony lies about her sister, lies that contained just enough truth to be believable.
The dart struck him just below his left ear and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. The drug used was non-lethal but very effective. He’d be spending about six hours enjoying his favourite dream, and about another twelve wishing he'd never woken up. In a good way, I mean. I had to move fast, though, eventually someone was going to get curious when he didn't check in.
I leapt to the ground from the tree I had mounted in order to get my shot. Easy work when you’re a pegasus like me. I gave the guard a once over, both to ensure he was uninjured and to get his ID card. Disguising myself was out of the question: most diamond dogs aren't that bright, but even they could tell the difference between one of their own and a pony. That was fine, though; even if I could disguise myself, there was an excellent chance I'd make a mistake, say or do the wrong thing, and then my cover'd be blown.
I swept the ID card through the reader and the door unlocked. I peeked through to get a feel for the place. There was a security cam, but that was easy enough to trick - I got inside its ‘dead zone’ just beneath it, waited for it to circle back and darted to a dark corner down the hall. Several more cameras were set up randomly, but I was able to keep to the shadows well enough to defeat them.
I’m good at hiding, when I need to.
There were guards patrolling and, despite my skill, I couldn't just hunker down here forever - I was running on a schedule. I spied an air duct above me and after ensuring that I had the hall to myself and that no guards were coming, I hovered up and popped the grille open. I snapped my wings closed, wiggled inside, and silently pulled the grille closed with my tail.
It was a pretty tight fit, but comfortable enough to move in. I scooted forward silently - I'm especially good at silence - and eventually I reached my goal. Below me was the door to the room the files were in. There were two guards flanking it.
I whispered a gentle curse. Then again, I didn't expect my mission to be that easy.
I didn't want to have to do this - It was sloppier than I’d been trained, but I had no choice. I raised my dart pistol, aimed through the grille and shot one of the guards while the other was looking away. When the other guard turned back, he saw his companion laid out and panicked, just as I had expected him to.
I used the few seconds I had to slam the grill open, soar down and deal with the other guard. I cracked the door open - the room was dark and appeared uninhabited. I dragged the two guards in the room with me. Better they be hidden from sight then sprawled out on the floor. Their being missing could be attributed to something other than foul play. I was out of darts regardless, so any further interactions would be physical. I didn't want that. Hurting others isn't something I'm comfortable with.
I let my eyes adjust to the darkness. In the corner was a rectangular shape that I knew must be the file cabinet. I crept over, hugging that wall so I didn't trip over anything, ensuring my trotting was as quiet as possible even though I knew there would be nopony to hear it.
As I reached for my flashlight and began to open the cabinet, I heard the sound of a match being struck. I turned in panic and saw the glow from the tip of a cigar and the dense scent of its smoke...
"Six minutes and forty-five seconds," said the voice.
The room lit up. I squinted in the sudden brightness and saw a grey diamond dog reclining in a chair behind the room’s desk, his feet up on the desk surface. A green eye narrowed at me, the other hidden behind an eyepatch. “Pretty impressive, all things considered, especially since you’re a pony. Sneaking through the ducts was pretty clever - I’d never have thought a pony would think of trying them, given your size.
"We have very few pony operatives, and I’m especially surprised that you’d want to join us, given your history. This sort of thing doesn’t seem your style."
"I want…" I whispered. I shook my head and spoke louder - I was sure of myself and by Celestia I was going to show him. "I want to do my part for Equestria," I replied, looking him dead in the eye. "And as long as I can do it without hurting anypon…anyone, I’m more than willing to. I want to show myself as more than just a shrinking violet, even if nopony but me knows it."
As we spoke, the two ‘unconscious’ guards sat up and the others entered the room behind me.The diamond dog at the desk puffed smoke through his nostrils and smiled and they began to clap. One or two raised their heads and howled.
"Well, I can’t very well turn an argument like that, and you certainly have the skills. Welcome to the team…agent Fluttershy."
He reached a paw towards me and we shared a hoof-shake. The entire group howled as one.
The diamond dog’s name was Nick Furry, commander-in-chief of the ORganization Against Nefarious Groups in Equestria.
Look at them. Going about their tiny lives, none the wiser of who watches over them. They scurry and crawl, they are born and they die, they wage war and make peace.
Insignificant creatures.
A pair of eyes narrowed as they watched the display, watched the lives play out before her.
I could end it all, you know. An earthquake, a blazing beam of light, an impact with the force of a million tons.
The populace continued on, none the wiser of the great creature’s thoughts.
Yes, it would be so easy. T’would be no more than a single step to me - the tiniest of efforts - to render their world lifeless.
There was a sigh, with all the strength of a tornado behind it.
But I will not. For I am kind, and I enjoy watching them. They have troubles enough in their minuscule existence without my adding more to them.
The creature grinned.
Besides, they’re way to cute to stomp.
Pinkie’s smile widened as she crouched down and quietly watched the ants trundle ceaselessly in and out of their hill, completely oblivious to her presence.
I message you this day to voice my extreme displeasure for you as a ruler. It seems to me that your days are filled with nothing but parties, celebrations and other frivolity – you do not do much as a ruler, beyond bask in your own glory.
“But I raise the sun every day, and my sister Luna the moon,” you would no doubt defend your position by saying, and I would point out that this was a sham. Anypony with a telescope could tell you this. It’s called an ‘orbit’ milady – try to keep up with the times. And as for the moon, it’s always in the sky; it’s just not as noticeable during the day, much like your sister.
You are attempting to take credit for a natural phenomenon and the vast majority of the populous is falling for it, but not I.
Not I.
And where are your parents? You and Luna are both Princesses – by definition suggests a king and/or queen and yet there is neither glimpse nor word of them. You never mention them, nor is anything written of them in any book concerning the royal lineage and this distresses me.
Perhaps you and your sister have skeletons in your respective closets? Skeletons wearing royal finery?
Finally, for one who is supposed to be the ruler and guardian of this land, you do a rather shoddy job of it. In fact you have shucked off this duty to six mares who you then work to the bone ‘protecting the lands from evil,’ secure in the knowledge that you can just recline on your rainbow-tailed bottom until the report of their victory comes in. And do they get paid for this? Do they have job security? For that matter, do they even get a dental plan?
I’m willing to bet the answer is no.
And the one time – the one time you actually did something yourself by confronting Chrysalis, she soundly kicked your ass, forcing your own niece and her newly married husband to pull said ass - along with the asses of everypony else - out of the fire.
Face it, your highness – as a ruler you leave a great deal to be desired.
A great deal.
And while you could, were you to find me, ‘send me to the moon’ (no doubt a euphemism for ‘assassinate,’ carried out by one of your 'royal guards', who are likely members of a wetwork team hiding in plain sight), you should know that there is more than one copy of this letter in circulation and several have read and/or heard the contents, even members of your own staff. So be certain in the knowlege that for every one of my followers that is found, three more will appear. If you’re willing to ‘send to the moon’ random ponies in the hopes you will get us all, Equestria will likely become a very quiet place.
I request – no, I demand that you and your sister stand down from your positions, admit to the hoax you have been pulling for the decade or two in which you’ve been ruling (‘Thousands of years old’? Yet another lie!), release the six poor mares you’ve enslaved from their indentured servitude and finally throw yourself upon the mercy of the country.
I have no doubt you’ll dismiss this letter and contents as the ravings of a deranged mind, but believe me when I say that should it become necessary, I am willing to take measures to topple your throne of lies.
The light brown pony gagged slightly, her cutie mark of three faded balloons shaking as she leaned over the bucket.
(A/N: I know, I know. Why is she that color, right? Well, see, Pinkie was a little green, but when you mix green with pink…
So she’s light brown. Deal with it, ‘kay? Anyway…)
I honestly thought I was on to something. I mean everypony likes chocolate, right? Duh. Of course they do. And everypony likes cake. Naturally. Add a tiny squirt of hot sauce for a bit of zing (say what you will, but hot sauce goes good with cake. I don’t know why), toss in a spoonful of petite sweet pickle pieces, because that’s fun to say and I like sweet pickles, a dab of butterscotch and some raspberry jam, pour the mix in a pie crust just to make it a bit more unique and - of course - top it with icing and sprinkles. You can’t go wrong with icing and sprinkles. It can’t possibly lose.
I mean it had all my favorite things in it, right? Something with all that good stuff in it should have been good, too. Totally logical.
How was I supposed to know the mixture would be toxic? The way it glowed slightly as it cooled should have been a hint, I suppose. I really need to learn to question things like that.
I guess some things just aren’t meant to be combined, even if they’re yummy separately.
The other five are gonna kill me once they finally wake up, and I don’t think those stains will ever come off the walls and floor. Who knew you could throw up that color?
Oh Celestia, I shouldn’t have thought about throwing up…
The light brown mare leaned over the bucket again.
