> I Really Like My Mane > by Crazy Diamond > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > I am NOT a little pony! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1 The first thing I notice upon waking up, is that I am hanging vertically out of bed, with one of my feet tangled up in the bed-sheet and my face touching the floor. The second thing I notice is that this isn't my bedroom, the carpet and walls are a completely different colour and this bed is enormous compared to mine. I wriggle out of my tangled predicament and attempt to stand up, only to find the process strangely awkward and almost immediately I fall flat on my face. I decide to remain quadrupedal for the moment, at least until I can figure out the reason for my not-so-equilibrium. It is at this point that the scale of my current setting is made abundantly clear to me, almost everything in the room towers over me and I'm struck with a sudden sense of vertigo, the only thing that keeps me from projectile vomiting is the fact I notice a mirror on the wall and I finally realise the reason everything appears to be enormous. "I-I'm a pony!? That's not me! That's not my voice!" I squeal, attempting rub my temples to sooth my sudden headache only to accidentally hit myself with the hooves now attached to the ends of my legs. Hearing my new voice and seeing my new body move for the first time was one of the most surreal things I have ever experienced, seeing that snow white filly with a pink and purple mane staring back at me... But after a few experiments with the mirror I was certain its reflection was accurate. "Okay, n-no reason to freak out... I'm just a..." I pause and calculate for a moment. "Two foot, three inch tall... Unicorn?" I said suddenly noticing the horn in the middle of my forehead. "I'll can't allow this to overwhelm me. I just need to focus and wake up from this crazy dream as myself..." I say serenely before coming to the startling realisation that I have no idea who or what I was before inhabiting this body. Up to this point I was in a crazy sense of disbelief, now I was panicking. "I can't remember a single thing about myself! No wait! There's a name on the tip of my tongue... Sweetie Belle!" I shouted, extremely proud of myself before suddenly realising "That's not a name! That's... That is... It's this body's name, isn't it?" I said, contemplating the implications of me remembering this name but not my own. Sweetie Belle... "Sweetie Belle, Rarity, Scootaloo, Applebloom Cutie Mark Crusaders, Applejack, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Belle, SWEETIE BELLE! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH!" The memories... all of Sweetie Belle's memories suddenly merging with my own consciousness, I was struggling to not faint or lose myself amongst cherished moments and scoldings from Rarity. Rarity... My sist- Sweetie Belle's sister. "Of course I possess all of Sweetie Belle's memories, it's still her body, her brain and her amygdalae, the portion of the brain responsible for storing memories. I can..." But before I can finish that thought a larger white Unicorn enters the room. "Sweetie Belle, I heard screaming. Are you all right?" The amethyst haired Unicorn, whom I now recognised as my "older sister" Rarity, asked. "Umm... I had a bad dream and fell out of bed?" I responded, before I could continue she wrapped me up in a hug, which was definitely the most pleasant moment of my morning so far, still the simple fact that she was so much bigger than me was somewhat daunting. "Well, the monsters can't get you in here. And it doesn't look like you have a bump on your head, besides your precious little horn of course." Rarity said as she giggled gleefully, but she stopped when she noticed I hadn't reciprocated the hug. "Are you okay, Sweetie?" Rarity asked, concerned for the well being of her sister. "What? I'm feeling great! I just can't wait to meet up with..." Quick! What was her name? "Applebloom! Err, she said she had a great idea for us to get our Cutie Marks today." I said releasing myself from Rarity's embrace. Cutie Marks? What nonsense. But it seems so natural... "I do wish that you would just slow down and let nature take its course. One of these you're going to hurt yourself. What were you doing out so late last night anyway?" Rarity asked as the two of us made our way through her home and sat down for breakfast. What was Sweetie Belle doing last night?. Strange, Sweetie Belle doesn't have any recollection of yesterday's events either, it's possible that it's connected to my own amnesia. I need to change the subject... There's flowers on my toast. This is breakfast? "Daffodils on toast?" I asked incredulously. Rarity looked at me strangely, pondering the reason for my outburst, no doubt. After checking Sweetie Belle's memories I realised my error. This is a mundane breakfast for her, Sweetie Belle wouldn't have even blinked at this. I needed to fix this, luckily providence saw fit to shine upon me. "We had daffodils yesterday! Can't you make something else?" Perfect, now to clinch it. "Ooh! Or I could make something for you!" I said, with childish enthusiasm. "NO!.. Ahem, that is to say, what else would you like?" Rarity asked, sweetly. Without Sweetie Belle's memories this situation would be impossible. Every moment of her life available to me like a book on a shelf, all except for yesterday... I need to meet up with my "friends" and piece together what happened. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Oats! A comparatively normal breakfast. One that I could eat normally without breaking my facade, although... Why bother lying? Why not tell Rarity exactly what's wrong with me and see if I can get help from the Princess... Twilight Sparkle. Apparently she's the go to pony for these types of situations, her or their zebra friend who lives in the deadly forest. It might be easier to come clean, but what if I exist in spirit alone? What if any attempt to bring back Sweetie Belle would destroy me? No, I must get to the crux of this matter myself and soon! But what about another possibility, what if I am Sweetie Belle and just think I'm someone else because of whatever happened yesterday? No, that's impossible. A mind like mine could not be born from accident. Only, sharpened and tempered through years of study. So why can't I remember them? Before I can continue that train of thought a pudgy blue unicorn colt collided with me, knocking me to the ground, for a moment I lost control of my tongue. "Watch where you're going, you obese dolt!" I shouted, though angry it was somewhat refreshing to see another pony my size, so to speak. Snips was this greasy child's name, apparently he and his life partner Snails were clowns among the youth of Ponyville. I suddenly realised what I had yelled and it didn't sound very Sweetie Belle-esque, with any luck he would be too stupid to notice. "Oh, sorry Sweetie Belle. I didn't see you there. And it's pronounced "colt" remember? What does obeez mean?" He squawked in a voice possibly in the process of breaking. Bingo, but my luck isn't going to last forever. I need to remain in control. "It's a word I heard Rarity use some time, I don't really know what it means." It's a rather straightforward concept, it means you put on more weight than your body burns off you oaf! That's it keep it in your head. So long as there it isn't a pony who can read minds I should be fine. "I'd love to stay and chat, but Snails said he found something cool down by Sweet Apple Acres!" Snips said before running off. Speaking of which I need to meet up with some friends too. Which way was the clubhouse again? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse, an amazing effort for three girls who are all so young. "Sweetie Belle, is that you?" Asked a small voice with a cute southern drawl from within the treehouse, the accent means it must be Applebloom. "Sweetie Belle's here? Great, then we can get started!" Said another voice, this one with no discernible accent, via the process of elimination, it must be Scootaloo. What a ridiculous name. "Hi girls! Lower the stairs so I can come up!" I shouted, these two know Sweetie Belle better than anyone. I'll have to be extra careful. "No need, we're comin' down." Said Applebloom, as the two crusaders descended from the treetop. Applebloom taking the stairs and Scootaloo hovering down on her tiny wings, slowly before landing flat on her face. "Are you okay?" I asked, wondering if the appropriate situation would be to laugh playfully or lend assistance, I opted for the latter. "I'm fine, I take harder falls than that on my scooter all the time." Scootaloo, interests include, crusading for Cutie Marks, scooting, Rainbow Dash (a local celebrity, and friend of Sweetie Belle's sister as well) and an unhealthy fixation on her inability to fly. "Yeah, and ya always fall on yer head, which explains a lot." Applebloom, lives on a farm, knows the definition of hard work, large family, strong values, she doesn't believe she's growing up fast enough and takes offence to being called little like it was a racial slur. Good. They know Sweetie Belle, but I know them. It can't be too difficult to deceive a couple of children right? "You feelin' okay Sweetie Belle? You don't look quite right..." AAAAAAAAGH! "What? What's wrong with me? I don't think there's anything wrong!" "It's your mane. It's all... ruffled." "Oh, I ran into Snips earlier... or should I say he ran into me?.. He knocked me over and messed up my hair." Stupid little girls almost gave me a heart attack! "All right, let's get to the farm!" "Oh shoot! I forgot to tell ya, Applejack said we can't work on the farm today." That's odd, you'd think she'd be grateful for a couple of extra sets of... umm... hooves "Why not?" "She seemed pretty frazzled, ah think she might've been up all night. She wouldn't even say what it was... Speakin' of, Applejack want's to know if Rarity can foalsit me tonight. Do ya think it'll be okay?" This could be troublesome, if I spend anymore time with them than necessary something could slip, not to mention it impedes on the spare time I have to make my plans during the night. I'll nip it in the bud. "That sounds great!" Yes! Get excited, then have a sudden, sad realisation... "But Rarity'll probably say no..." Rarity can be a bit strict, but I can play that to my advantage as well. "Why don't you put on that puppy dog face, like when you got her to go camping. That never fails." Scootaloo added whilst I silently hoped my eyes didn't betray my anger. "It can fail. I think she's building up a resistance." I'm beginning to get defensive. If this keeps up, I may have to just submit to their will. "Why don't we ask her together, with all our powers combined there ain't nothin' we can't accomplish!" "I'll come too. We'll make it another Crusader sleepover!" "Yeah! Crusader sleepover, yay!" Ugh, manipulative little trolls. "But what'll we do until then, if Applejack's too busy?" "Well, we can't hang out with Rainbow Dash either, she's out of town for... like, a week for a Daring Do convention in Las Pegasus." "Welp, that dries up our plans and our back-up plans..." Applebloom said before slumping to the ground, defeated. "I have an idea!" I said, squealing slightly. I need to remember to keep up a veneer of excitement as well as a subtle imbecility. "We could just try having fun. Maybe just for today, not focus on getting our Cutie Marks?" "That's not a bad idea Sweetie Belle... and maybe we might get our cutie marks in "just having fun"." Scootaloo said, hopping on to her scooter and throwing us our matching helmets. Frankly, the sight of the three us together is rather adorable. "Wait... Where are we going?" I asked, wasn't this my idea? I think I should pick what we do. "Oh! Ah know we we're goin'." "To Sugarcube Corner!" Scootaloo roared before accelerating. Ah, Pinkie Pie, synonymous with jubilation, a household name in Ponyville and not just for her friendship related heroics. She is one of the leading causes, if not the leading cause, for the constant musical numbers always breaking out in this strange town. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "Smile! smile! smile! smile! smile! Come on and smile, Come on and smile!" As I concluded my part among the chorus, tears streaming from my eyes, I understood why these ponies broke into song so often. It feels amazing! How did I know the lyrics? Where was the music coming from? I didn't care! I wanted to applaud but "Once the song ends you don't acknowledge it's existence." As is the custom. I'm feeling strangely unnerved, is... Is Pinkie Pie staring at me? She is. Oh no! She's coming over to me, does she know? She can summon music from nowhere, of course she knows! AAAAAAAGH! "Nice singing, girls! You especially, Sweetie!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "Here you go, chocolate vanilla and caramel flavoured milkshakes. Just like you guys like it." Huh, I guess you can acknowledge the song. Ooh, vanilla! "Pinkie? Do y'all know what's got Applejack all worked up?" Asked Applebloom, preparing for a disappointing answer. "Mmhmm." Pinkie mumbled in the affirmative, while drinking her own strawberry milkshake. "Are you gonna tell us?" Asked Scootaloo who was more interested than she seemed. "Nn-nn." Pinkie again mumbled, this time negatively. "But I will tell you guys that something weird is going on and we've been asked to keep it quiet." "Something weird? That sounds... weird." I say. I hate talking like this. More importantly, something "weird" is going on? There's a high probability that whatever is going on at Sweet Apple Acres is related to my current situation. But it sounds like getting a closer look is going to be difficult, if they have managed to keep Pinkie Pie quiet about it. Snips mentioned something about Sweet Apple Acres this morning as well, if it isn't somehow related then it's a remarkable coincidence, I need to find those two and question them about what they might have seen, so I can... So I can... ...So I can what? Return to whatever my life was before this? What if I was destitute? Dying? What if this form is infinitely superior to whatever awaits me on the other side? Sweetie Belle was a moron, with my intellect she and I could be so much more... I could master the arcane arts. I could become an idolised singer or renowned beauty. Why risk pure opportunity for uncertainty? Why bet against a sure thing? Why stop drinking the milkshake, after only one sip?