Delicious Cellulose
Spell Salad
by 5007
Disclaimer: "My Little Pony" is owned by Hasbro. Generation 4 was created by the ever-talented Lauren Faust.
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Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes as she saw the draconequus who had caused all of the problems over the past few days still dressed in a Prench maid's outfit. Discord was happily using his feather duster to remove the last tangling, spiny vines of the Plunder Plants.
She walked up to where he was, curious as to why he would request to speak with her. He had said, in his letter, that he was okay with speaking to her at her convenience but that he needed to talk to her soon.
For two days after the Summer Sun Celebration, she had duties in Canterlot to attend to and couldn't return to Ponyville. She had decided to approach him after she departed from the train. Spike insisted she waited until after all of her bags had been stored inside the Library.
As she was drawing near Discord, he had just finished erasing the last vine.
"That should do it," he said. "The last of the Plunder Plants. I hope you know that they're an extinct species of flora now, Princess - not even their seeds remain."
"I - uhh..." she said, panicking. Clearly, she wasn't expecting his accusatory tone.
"'Salright, though." He turned around and grinned, his clothing gone. "They were an old, experimental spell gone wrong. Speaking of which, you and I need to have some words."
She glanced away before returning eye-contact. "Your letter said that."
"Yes. Your plan for the research and recovery of lost spells is a commendable endeavor - one of which I support - but there are certain spells that are better lost for all time."
"Such as?" Twilight asked, genuinely intrigued.
"The Reform Spell that I ate while at Fluttershy's cottage a few months back."
"Discord!" she growled.
"I know what you're thinking," he said, leaning back, his front appendages in front of him in a defensive position. "You think that I'm saying this simply because I don't want you to have a weapon against me in case I go rogue, again."
He leaned forwards until he was within inches of the young alicorn's face. "But there is something inherently wrong with the spell itself."
"And what's that?" Twilight asked.
"Do you know how Sombra became king of the Crystal Empire?"
"He used his dark magic to alter the memories of -"
"Nope," Discord interjected. "That is what Celestia assumed had happened, especially since he was quite capable of doing so to a few ponies at a time. But he couldn't get the entire Empire in one fell swoop like he had."
"Then how -" she began before she realized where Discord was leading her. "The Reform Spell?"
"Exactly," Discord said as he clapped (each clap made a horn sound of a different kind).
"I don't understand."
"I know. You see, the Reform Spell doesn't actually make someone become 'good'. The spell takes what the user wants the victim to become and does that."
Discord coiled himself atop a beanbag chair that appeared out of nowhere before looking Twilight in the eye.
"I was around when Sombra reformed the crystal ponies into his submissive slaves and hid the Crystal Heart. It was because he had weakened the magic of the Crystal Empire that I was able to influence the rest of Equestria, and conquer it."
"So that's why you ate the pages the spell was recorded on."
"No. Initially, I ate them to prevent you from using it on me. Nowadays, I'm glad that no one can use it against dear Fluttershy."
"Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this," Twilight sighed. "I'll revise the program immediately."
"Thanks for listening, Princess."
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"And you trust him?" Celestia asked, clearly wary of trusting the draconequus.
"He gave a fairly reasonable argument." Twilight was certain Discord was telling the truth.
"The only possible way to confirm his story would be to ask Sombra," Luna warned. "Last we heard, he had been atomized by the Crystal Heart."
Twilight sighed. "You're still operating under the assumption that Discord hasn't changed at all."
"He didn't lift a claw to stop those odd plants-" Celestia began.
"I'm under the impression that he wanted to see how Equestria handled the situation. Additionally, he taught my friends and I a very valuable lesson about friendship."
"Oh?" The Sun Princess was genuinely curious.
"Just because I'm a Princess it doesn't mean that I'm inherently better than anyone else."
"A wise lesson," agreed Luna.
"Also, I think we need a backup plan in case the three of us are incapacitated," Twilight suggested.
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"Discord! Why are you eating paper again!?"
"Because it's delicious!"
Fluttershy marched over to check the pages.
"Blank?"
"Oh yes. I found that eating paper with ink on it isn't quite as good as fresh, clean sheets. So I bought these in the market after Twilight went to Canterlot today."
"How much were they?"
"Pretty cheap. About twenty bits for the whole three-box stack."
"Discord," Fluttershy gently said. "I think the salespony was too intimidated by you to sell you those at a fair price. It's usually fifteen bits each box."
"Huh." Discord swallowed a bit more paper. "I suppose I'll have to pay him the missing twenty-five when I go back into town."
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End.