> Ah'm Listenin'
>  by Mare Macabre
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> "Are y'all gonna...?"
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"No."

"Maybe~!"

"Absolutely not!"

Applejack shot a glare back at her host, who grinned smugly as she carried a bolt of cloth down to her storeroom, then turned back to her sister.

"Ah'm just stayin' the night, alright? Just like you an' Sweetie Belle will be at the farm."

"But why can't we stay here then?" Sweetie Belle frowned. "Apple Bloom can stay in my room and you two can sleep together in   or, I mean..."

"Sex is a lot noisier than you might think!" Rarity called up the stairs. "You two wouldn't get a moment's rest!"

"WE ARE NOT  " Applejack caught herself and took a calming breath. "Look, Apple Bloom, Ah'm... in a bad way right now," the farmer sighed. "Rarity an' Ah have a lot of boring    frankly kind of depressing    grown-up things to talk about, an' Ah don't want y'all to have to hear it."

Apple Bloom's confusion shifted to concern, and she stepped forward to nuzzle against her sister's shoulder.

"Are we gonna lose the farm?"

Applejack snorted quietly and wrapped a foreleg around the filly. "No we ain't losin' the farm. This is personal stuff, Apple Bloom, ya don't have to worry about it. Ah don't want you to worry about it. You two go have yer slumber party, okay?"

Apple Bloom withdrew from the mare with a hesitant nod and picked up one of Sweetie Belle's bags in her teeth. The little unicorn grabbed the other and opened the door, leading them out and around the doorway toward Sweetapple Acres. Applejack watched them disappear from her field of view, heaving a sigh as they headed for her home, then straightened up as a soft blue aura took the doorknob and closed the boutique to the outside world.

"In all seriousness, that is why you're here, right?" Rarity mused, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. "Sexual curiosity?"

"In all seriousness, Rare," Applejack shot back, "Ah'd appreciate it if you'd be a little more discreet about my affairs."

Rarity's joking expression immediately vanished. "Sorry, you're right. I'm not really used to ponies being... uncomfortable," she shrugged. "It's been a while since I've been anypony's first."

Applejack scrunched her face at those words, regarding her friend with a somewhat unpleasant expression. "You... do that a lot then?"

"Not as much as some," the unicorn replied, fluffing her mane. "Probably more than many, though."

The orange pony cocked her jaw, staring at her host. She looked to be about to speak, but decided against it. Rarity watched her silent deliberation for a moment before nodding toward the kitchen and turning to enter. Applejack followed.

"Whatever your reasons, we won't be able to get anything done on empty stomachs." Rarity pulled out a chair at the table with her magic and retrieved a platter of nuts, cheeses, and various fruits and vegetables from her fridge. "Sugar and fats are good for short bursts and long days, but proteins and carbs are what we need for a few good hours of energy."

She pulled a loaf of bread out of a breadbox on the counter and set it on the table in front of her guest before sitting across from her. Applejack looked over the spread before her with a slight frown before looking up at her friend. Rarity had already floated several slices of cheese and a small pile of nuts onto a napkin in front of her and was delicately nibbling at them.

"Ah don't imagine we'll need much energy if we're just going to talk," the farmer said flatly, pushing the bread away.

"Talking can be just as exhausting as... other occupations of the mouth," Rarity smirked. "It would do you good to get some real food regardless. I don't know about you, but Pinkie's cakes always give me a craving for fresh fruit."

She punctuated her sentence by plucking a grape and popping into her mouth.

Applejack sighed and grabbed a hoof-full of nuts. "So long as we're talkin' out my problems, would ya mind layin' off the innuendo just a bit? Ah'm not sure if you noticed but that's one of 'em."

Rarity stared blankly at her friend for a moment, glancing at the nuts in her hoof, then sighed and adjusted her position.

"If you're going to spoil perfect opportunities for visual humor and paronomasia, I suppose." Her horn lit up and a jug of water and two cups floated out of various places in the room to arrange themselves on the table. "We may as well begin talking out these problems if you're going to be so serious. Why don't you give me an idea of what's been upsetting you?"

Applejack slowed her chewing. "Uh..." She swallowed and cleared her throat. "Well, ever since uh..."

"Last week?"

"Right, ever since..."

"I came back?"

"Uh huh."

"And led you around on a leash?"

"..."

"You've been having trouble focusing on work? Odd thoughts passing through your head?"

"..."

"... Can't hold a rope without thinking about it coiling around your  "

"It doesn't seem to me like you need any clarification on what's wrong with me," Applejack grunted, crossing her forelegs.

"Well I was just guessing," Rarity shrugged before taking a very ladylike sip of her water. "Surely there's more to it than that, right?"

Applejack's cheeks flared pink and she turned to look at a random point in the room.

"Ah'm... embarrassed Ah guess. That Ah know so much about... this aspect of your life," she gestured vaguely. "And that you could read me so easily. Ah... Ponies come to me for help," she sighed. "And Apple Bloom's started askin' me all sorts of questions when no one's around and... Ah want to answer them but AH honestly don't know the first thing. And    as much as Ah appreciate your open invitation to go to you for help    Ah feel like Ah should be the one to help her with all this."

Rarity nodded slowly throughout the explanation. "Well there was something I hadn't guessed. See? You're not so easy to read."

"That doesn't help much," Applejack sighed. "Look, Ah'm not blamin' you for Apple Bloom's curiosity, but you are the one that started all this and so far as I know yer the most... experienced on the subject."

Rarity perked up, about to answer, but held her tongue for a moment. "...Well, I won't give any names, but I can assure you I'm not the most experienced pony out there," she conceded. "You should have seen some of the parties I was invited to in Canterlot. Totally different culture they have up there."

"Well, like Ah said, you're the most experienced pony I know," Applejack continued, trying to ignore the flood of images of libidinous nobles. "Plus you're... really the only one Ah've ever talked to about it," she admitted, looking down. "Ah don't know that Ah could ask someone else..."

Rarity stared at her somber friend, her cup drifting to rest on the table. "You... hadn't ever had a sex talk before last week?"

Applejack's cheeks shifted from pink to red and she quietly shook her head no. "Granny never really gave me information, she just told me to wait. Ah guess she's a little out of touch with how it's treated nowadays."

Rarity dipped her head to one side in agreement. "Or it's just still what she believes. She may be old, but from Sweetie Belle's told me she certainly hasn't lost her wits."

"Ah s'pose," Applejack shrugged.

"You're right about needing a proper education though," Rarity murmured, scratching her chin. "Even if you don't want a sexually active lifestyle, it's important to know at least a little about sex."

Applejack nodded, rubbing the back of one hoof in awkward embarrassment. Rarity narrowed an eye at her, then leaned over the table and rested her head on her hooves, a sly grin sliding across her face.

"Say it."

Applejack blinked.

"Say what?"

"Sex."

"Wha- Why?"

"If you can't even say it, how are we going to talk about it?" Rarity asked with a slight pout.

Applejack silently moved her mouth for a few seconds, looking for some argument, then fell silent as the red in her cheeks spread out to the rest of her face.

"Say it~."

"... Sex."

"Hmm?"

"S-Sex."

"What about sex?" Rarity asked playfully.

Applejack scowled at her before covering her face. "Teach me about sex."

"Please~?" the unicorn fished, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Applejack remained as she was for a moment before lowering her hoof and glaring at her host.

"Is this part of your pet-fetish?"

Rarity pinched her lips shut and covered her mouth to stop her snickering from growing into a full fledged fit of laughter.

"Pet fetish?" she giggled. "Oh dear, what do you think I do in my free time?"

Applejack's scowl deepened as she watched her friend's composure crack, then blinked and buried her face in her hooves as she realised what she'd implied, pushing Rarity's giggling into the guffaw she'd been struggling to suppress.

"You know what I mean," the farm pony groaned. She waited a few seconds for her friend's laughter to die out, then removed her hooves and glowered at the lily white unicorn as it did not. "Stop laughin' at me."

"I'm sorry," Rarity gasped, clutching her stomach. "I simply was not prepared for that."

"You know what I meant thou  "

"Yes yes, pet play," Rarity nodded, wiping her eyes. "It's making a comeback from what I've heard on the grapevine."

"...Comeback?"

"Mm hm," Rarity hummed as she regained her composure. "Fashion and farming aren't the only things that have cycles, darling. Pet play lost a bit of popularity in the last year or two in favor of suspension    and I still don't understand how    but it's been working its way back into the limelight recently."

Applejack scrunched her nose. "Suspension?"

"It's... well, suffice it to say you wouldn't be interested," the unicorn shrugged. "Unless you're harboring some wing envy I haven't picked up on."

"Uh... no," Applejack shook her head.

Rarity nodded. "Right. Anyway, sex," she grinned, rubbing her hooves together. "What can I teach you, Applejack?"

Applejack remembered her embarrassment and shuffled in her seat. "Um... Ah don't rightly know where to start..."

"First question that comes to mind," Rarity suggested. "Or maybe one of Apple Bloom's questions. You're learning so you can teach her, right?"

Applejack nodded, covering her mouth as she thought.

"Uh... when is... or, at what age should you... start?"

"Whenever you're ready," Rarity nodded. "And you know how to be safe about it."

Applejack's ears perked up. "How do you be safe about it?"

"Well there are a number of ways," Rarity mused, tapping her chin. "Condoms are always a good measure for preventing unwanted pregnancy, but they can take away a good bit of the feeling depending on the coating and texture. They're not 'one size fits all' either, despite most of their packagings." She sat back in her chair and glanced thoughtfully around the room. "Then of course there's contraceptive magic. All the raw feeling with none of the worry. Granted it's best if you can do the spell yourself just to be sure, but in a case with no unicorns it's a good idea to have a unicorn friend you can turn to that knows it. And knows it well, mind you, you don't want this spell to fail."

Applejack nodded quietly as she absorbed the sudden stream of information. "Is that it?"

"No, there are also contraceptive potions," Rarity nodded. "A skilled alchemist can make tinctures of that nature that last for hours or even days, and they can be specialized for a mare or a stallion. That way one or both of you can take it to be doubly sure there won't be any happy accidents."

"Ah see," Applejack said slowly.

"Beyond that it's mostly just proper hygiene," Rarity shrugged. "And diet, in some cases. If a male partner insists on oral, you'd better insist he eat lots of fruit beforehand."

Applejack blinked. "Oral?"

Rarity stared blankly at her for several seconds before clearing her throat and quietly murmuring, "Nevermind."

"Is that... do you... put it..." Applejack trailed off, pointing at her mouth.

Rarity glanced around the room for a moment before subtly nodding and watching the orange farm pony grimace. Applejack moved her jaw, trying to push the phantom taste out of her mouth, then stopped and focused a very confused and unsettled look at the pony across the table. Rarity broke eye contact and shuffled in her seat.

"There are a few spells that can change the flavour, but it mostly comes down to... diet, ehm," she shook her head and focused on her friend. "Questions. What else has Apple Bloom been asking?"

Applejack set her jaw, suddenly wondering if she would regret holding this little informational exchange, then winced as another question jumped to her mind instead.

"So's that mean that... do ponies ever do it...?"

Rarity narrowed one eye, trying to guess where her friend was leading her. "... Anally?"

Applejack flushed and turned her attention somewhere else. "Uh... Ah mean..."

"Yes," Rarity smirked, "Some ponies do have anal sex."

Applejack gulped. "Is it... common?"

"Uh... well, I wouldn't say so," Rarity mused with a frown. "It's actually much more pleasurable for stallions to be on the receiving end, just because of... well, anatomy and the like. A partner might ask you for it if they've had it before and enjoyed it or is just curious. Like I said before, though, never feel obligated to do anything you're not comfortable with," she emphasized with an almost maternal sternness.

Applejack nodded, her lessened blush flaring again.

"Uh... is it...?"

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. "Good?" She smirked as Applejack squirmed in her seat and leaned forward in her own. "Depends. The anus isn't self lubricating, and it's a good deal softer on the inside, so you need to be careful with it. Done right, though... yes, it's very good."

Applejack held her mouth open to respond, but after a moment of silence simply covered her face and nodded again. Rarity watched her react with a sly grin, her ears twitching as a thought crossed her mind.

"Are you curious about trying it?"

The orange pony's ears flattened against her head, her eyes opening wide and mouth dropping open.

"Ah... excuse me?"

Rarity shrugged. "It's just a thought, but... well, you are in one of the most well equipped places in Ponyville for experimentation."

Applejack continued to stare at her.

"What are you... Are you sayin' you want to...?" She shook her head. "What are you sayin'?"

Rarity took a sip of her water before responding. "Only that, if you decide you want to try it, I have the equipment and knowledge to give you an ideal experience."

"...Rare... are you uh..." Applejack leaned a little closer, her face growing redder as she did. "Are... are you hittin' on me?"

The other mare's grin turned to an expression mild surprise. She recovered quickly, starting to respond, but stopped. The returning grin vanished, replaced with contemplative neutrality, and the alabaster unicorn folded her hooves on the table.

"Would it disappoint you if I wasn't?" she asked carefully.

Applejack frowned and straightened up. "N..." She paused to work out what her host had asked her. "No, Ah just... you just offered to..."

"Help you have a good first experience," Rarity finished for her.

"...With sex," Applejack added.

"I understand it might seem like an odd or overly personal thing to you, so I'm sorry if I offended you in any wa  "

"N-No, Ah ain't offended," Applejack interrupted. "Ah just wanted to... clarify."

Rarity nodded. "I didn't mean it as a romantic advance," she said factually. "I just thought I would    as a friend    that I would offer to help you. In case you hadn't noticed, sex really isn't a taboo for me."

Applejack let out a small sigh as she took this in. "Right. Sorry, Ah uh...ahem. It still kinda rubs me the wrong way."

"I don't think that's as hard to notice as you might suppose," the unicorn chuckled. "I'm guessing that's a no then."

"Right," Applejack agreed quickly. "Ah uh... no. Thanks."

"Suit yourself," Rarity shrugged. "Sorry to get off-topic like that. We were talking about... safety, right?"

"Ah s'pose. Was there somethin' else to it?"

"Let me think... potions, condoms, magic," the unicorn rattled off to herself. "... alternative placement. Other than that there's the obvious, abstinence, and of course external ejaculation, but that's about it."

"External whatnow?" Applejack backtracked.

"When the stallion 'climaxes' outside the body," Rarity explained. "Some call it the spray and pray method, but I've never been fond of that name."

The farmer knit her brow, thinking for several seconds.

"Where does it...?"

"Anywhere, really. Though typically it'll still be on the body rather than inside. Over the back, on the face, across the cutie mark    that's something that's popular in Manehattan."

"What... why would, what's..." Applejack pursed her lips, trying to discern the reasoning behind this new thing she had learned.

"Some ponies don't have access to the funds, skills, or other means of contraception," Rarity shrugged. "That or they simply aren't properly educated about it. It's a sad fact."

"No no, Ah get that," Applejack waved her friend's explanation. "Ah mean... why still do it on the mare? Why not... in a towel or the toilet or... somethin'?"

"Well that's not very fun," Rarity scoffed, making AJ scowl. "It's part of the experience. Occasionally it's an annoyingly messy one or one that can leave you in need of a bath or two, but... sometimes it's just sexy," she shrugged.

A sour look returned to the apple farmer's face. "Really?"

"Well... yes," Rarity nodded bashfully. "Maybe not in hindsight... or in foresight, really, but in the spur of the moment it... just feels right sometimes."

Applejack narrowed her eyes and glanced sideways as she tried to imagine the sensation of the act, then shuddered.

"Ah'll take yer word on it, Ah guess," she conceded.

"Alright. There's that explained," Rarity mused, sipping idly at her water. "What's next?"

Applejack frowned and tapped her chin, recalling the other questions her sister had asked.

"What's... best?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like... what's the best?" Applejack scratched her neck, searching for words. "What feels the best, Ah guess. Or what's most important?"

"Safety," Rarity answered simply. "No matter what you do, no matter how extreme or simple, exotic or vanilla, always put safety first."

"Vanilla?"

"Er... simple," Rarity explained. "Like vanilla ice cream. No added flavor or color, no exotic toppings    the basic form, if you will."

Applejack bobbed her head in understanding. "Okay. What feels best though?"

"It's different for everypony," the unicorn shrugged. "Though most mares    that I know at least    will likely contend that vaginal has the most feeling and pleasure. And yes, that's also exactly what it sounds like."

Applejack blushed and gave a slight nod. "Okay then. Um... What about..." The blush darkened. "You uh... you had a... have a..."

Rarity choked back a laugh as Applejack tried to convey the word "dildo" through gesture.

"Yes, I have a few."

Applejack stopped her waving and stared.

"... A few?"

"Well, a mare shouldn't restrict herself to only one option, right?" the fashionista smirked. "I have several. Size, shape, material    everything about a toy makes a difference in regards to how it feels and performs."

The orange farm pony narrowed her eyes, apparently confused. "Why... why though? Why have so many if you can ju   well, Ah mean," she stopped herself after realizing where the thought was headed.

"Well you can't just go out and find a partner," Rarity finished for her embarrassed friend. "Other ponies have other lives. Even if you have a regular partner, they have their own schedules to deal with. And, despite what stereotypes may be floating around about the sexually active, it's not just a matter of finding somepony with an hour or two to kill. Not for most anyway," she sighed. "I suppose there are some with so few scruples, but I at least hold myself to a higher standard. There's a process to finding proper partners; I have to take a lot of things into consideration before even approaching them about the subject. And even then, there are more things to consider once we actually start to talk about it."

"Like what?" Applejack asked, adjusting to listen more comfortably.

"Well orientation is important to establish first thing. Obviously the conversation isn't going to get very far with a gay stallion or straight mare. Usually I can read people well enough to know which way their door swings, but there are some who are harder to tell with. Then of cou  "

"Could Ah actually stop you there for a second?" Applejack interrupted.

Rarity looked up from her mental checklist. "Hm?"

"You said... 'gay stallion or straight mare'." Applejack leaned in a little, her expression almost unsure of itself. "Are you... Ah mean, do you...?"

Rarity gave her friend a slightly tired smile and sigh.

"That's a long topic, Applejack. Are you sure you want to get into it?"

The farmer wet her lips and looked around.

"Well... we're gonna be here all night, aren't we?"

Rarity studied her for a few seconds, considering returning the conversation to its course. She lowered her hooves to the table and cocked her head in thought, idly chewing her bottom lip.

"I... suppose I could condense the information. Or try to, anyway." She continued to frown at the platter of food, her tail swishing behind her as she thought. "Actually, that's more of a conversation for later. I'll certainly teach you about it, if you want, but I'd rather not get too far off the topic at hoof. It's a rather fun one."

"Alright, Ah guess."

"Alright," Rarity grinned. "Let's talk about toys."

"Like... toys toys or...?"

"Sex toys."

Applejack's eyebrows shot up. "Sex toys?" Rarity nodded. "How... how so?"

"Exactly like they sound: toys you have sex with. Or toys you have sex with others with."

"...Why call 'em toys though?"

Rarity shrugged. "What else would you call them? Devices? Apparatuses?"

"Okay," Applejack conceded, "not as... approachable. It seems kind of weird still."

"A lot of things do," Rarity agreed. "But it does fit. Because they are fun."

"How do you... use them?" Applejack asked, faltering at the end.

"Depends on the toy. There's the classic dildo which is an insertable toy; I imagine the method of use is self evident." Applejack shifted in her seat, her face reddening. "Right. There are also vibrating toys, some of which are also insertable. They're typically used to stimulate pleasure points like the prostate, clitoris, g-spot    sometimes the nipples." She shrugged. "Anywhere stimulation is effective, really."

"The what and the what?" Applejack frowned. "And the what?"

"The prostate is the male g-spot, essentially," Rarity elaborated with a waving gesture. "The clitoris is here."

Applejack jolted in her chair as she felt a light touch around her vulva and fixed her host with an indignant and shocked stare.

"And the g-spot is right around here."

The farmer jittered again as she felt a phantom pressure inside her body.

"R-Rarity!"

The unicorn blinked, then gasped and covered her mouth as she extinguished her horn.

"A-Apple   I didn't mean to  "

A gesture stopped her, and Rarity pursed her lips. Applejack adjusted in her chair for a few seconds, shivering slightly, before settling and leaning back. She let out a breath, fanning herself with her hat, then opened her eyes and glared at the alabaster fashionista.

"Please don't do that again," she said flatly, making Rarity flinch.

"I'm sorry, Applejack, I didn't think..." The unicorn frowned, then felt her head subtly lift. "I didn't think you were so sensitive..."

Applejack stopped fanning. Her face shifted from red to scarlet, the color spreading from her cheeks up to her ears and down her chest. She opened her mouth, motioning mutely before choked sounds began sputtering out of her throat. After several seconds she shut up and covered her face with her hat, her ears flattening against her head. Rarity flinched and reached for her friend.

"I-I'm sorry, I honestly didn't mean to do that," Rarity apologized.

Applejack glared at her over the rim of her hat, making the unicorn sink further into her seat. After another few seconds of silence, Rarity cleared her throat.

"Have you... always been so...?"

Applejack closed her eyes and covered her face once again. "Yeah," she sighed. "Ah... Ah got a 'hair trigger', as mah doctor says."

Rarity flinched. "Ooh. That's why you hate going to the doctor's?"

"Part of it," the farmer admitted with another sigh as she set the hat down on the table. "Doc, er... well, she's... very nice about it. Understanding, Ah guess. It's not as awkward as it used to be." Applejack faced forward in the chair and rubbed her shoulder. "It's still pretty awkward though. It's a terrible feeling, walking in there knowin' Ah'm gonna... uh..."

"You don't have to say it," Rarity interrupted, reaching out to her friend. "If I may say, though, part of that sensitivity may be due to understimulation."

Applejack scrunched her snout. "Understimulation? That's a thing?"

"A fairly serious thing," Rarity nodded. "If you don't give yourself a little stimulation every so often, you could potentially become oversensitive. Or under-sensitive, but that doesn't seem to be the issue." She sat up in the chair and pulled a dry-erase board from the side of her fridge along with its marker. "Your tactile sense is one that develops through use, Applejack, so anything that isn't used doesn't develop properly. This can cause different parts of your body to atrophy, in the case of unused muscles, or become overly sensitive in the case of underutilized nerves. Think about how sharp ice feels on your skin in the middle of summer," she continued, doodling a diagram on the board. "Or think about what a shock it is to taste something sour after eating so many sweet apples. If you never get any stimulation down there, it'll always be a shock when you do, and that can lead to some serious discomfort in general aside from embarrassing mishaps at the doctor's. Ehm, not to make light of your..." Rarity coughed and set her visual aid on the table. "I guess you know about that though, right?"

"If havin' to watch how ya sit counts, yeah," Applejack nodded, running a hoof down her crimson face. "Ah get what'cha mean."

The two were quiet for a moment.

"Why wouldn't she have told me about this?"

Rarity shrugged. "If your doctor told you that you needed to be more sexually active, what would you think?"

Applejack frowned. "Probably that she was speakin' for herself. Or nuts."

"Exactly. Medical professionals have to consider both what's best for their patients and themselves. At least if they want to stay in business. It wouldn't do to have one of your patients going around telling their friends that they were prescribed a romp in the hay twice a week. Even if it could help, it'd make you sound like a pervert or a loon."

"Uh..." Applejack adjusted in her seat. "Is... Is that actually the treatment fer...?"

Rarity pursed her lips and adjusted in her seat.

"I don't think so, but... Well, bear in mind that I'm not a doctor and I can't actually prescribe things to you, and that being knowledgeable is no substitute for an actual education on the subject. That said... my advice would be that you..." she took a breath and offered an apologetic smile, "should probably start masturbating, Applejack."

The farmer's eyes bulged.

"Wha   Now?"

"No!" Rarity guffawed. "Of course not now! I mean you should consider adding a little 'you time' to your schedule."

Applejack seemed pained. "E-every day?"

The unicorn tapped her chin thoughtfully. "No, I'd say... more than once a week, certainly, but every day is starting a little too strong for your case."

Applejack turned her gaze to the table as she absorbed this. Rarity watched her face turn somber with a waning grin and searched for some comfort to offer.

"This ain't normal is it?" the orange earth pony eventually asked.

Her friend hesitated to answer.

"Well... Common? Not really, I won't lie," she admitted quietly. "But there's nothing abnormal about it. It can happen, it does happen. You're not alone by any means, if that's what you're asking."

Applejack nodded slowly. "Ah guess that's comforting. Some." She took a few more seconds of thought before looking up at her makeshift counselor. "Do you... really think it's a good idea?"

"I'm not a doctor," Rarity emphasized, a hoof over her chest. "Again. But I do think it would help. If anything, a little stimulation every now and then will reduce your sensitivity."

The apple farmer absorbed this, digested it, and gave an acquiescent sigh.

"Ah guess..." her blush returned full force, "A-Ah guess we should go over those spots again. Uh, without touchin' Ah mean."

Rarity smirked and began to draw a different diagram on the dry-erase board.

"If you insist."





Breakfast passed in near silence. Not a silence heavy with awkwardness or confusion, rather one of introspection. Applejack chowed down on eggs, toast, hay bacon, juice and milk    a proper farmer's breakfast, as Rarity called it. Her host, meanwhile, daintily nibbled at toast with jam and sipped at hot tea between spoonfuls of grapefruit. She hadn't said what type of proper breakfast that was.

While she ate, Rarity was constantly floating scrolls from one side of the room to the other, passing them over the table between them and inscribing them with some magical text that Applejack didn't recognize. The farmer was hard pressed to contain her curiosity, and began to ask what was happening just as the final scroll was rolled and placed in a saddlebag on the wall. The task done, Rarity turned her complete attention to her breakfast, and Applejack decided to let the question go. If she was meant to understand the task, her host would surely have explained it she reasoned.

Rarity glanced at the clock in the corner of her kitchen as she finished the last of her simple meal, grinning proudly as the doorbell rang almost the moment she had finished her tea.

"Coming~."

Applejack slowed her chewing as the unicorn trotted out of the room, craning her neck to watch as she answered the door. A smiling brown and tan earth pony greeted the fashionista on the other side, a tall brown box in one hoof.

"Special delivery~" he sang, holding out the box.

"Thank you, Life Cast," Rarity nodded, taking it in her shimmering blue aura. "How is the latest mold coming?"

"Mm," the stallion cocked his jaw. "It's taking a while. I'm not sure it'll be done in time to go with the summer line."

Rarity clucked her tongue, but shrugged off the bad news. "Well, you can never go wrong with the classics. If it's not finished by the start of the season, let's go with... Gale. That's always popular."

"Ooh, good thinking," the stallion nodded. "Wow, it's been years since you used Gale."

"And that's why it'll be a classic," Rarity grinned. "I can bring back the whole line, maybe throw him in as a bonus for purchases of the new one."

The courier nodded an agreement, then paused and straightened as he noticed a freckled face poking around the doorway to the kitchen.

"Uh... This isn't a bad time, is it?" he asked, suddenly seeming quite nervous.

Rarity glanced back at her guest with a smile. "Oh, not at all. We were just finishing breakfast."

Applejack stepped into the room and tipped her hat. "Mornin'."

The stallion dipped his head at her, smiling awkwardly, then leaned closer to Rarity. "You said not to talk about this when your friends were over," he whispered anxiously.

"Trust me, she has no idea what we're talking about," Rarity whispered back with an amused grin.

The stallion poised to speak. Then closed his mouth. Then straightened up.

"Well, if you say so," he half-laughed. "Uh... I should get back."

"If you insist," Rarity shrugged. "Good luck with the mold."

He nodded a thanks, repeating the gesture as a goodbye to Applejack, then turned and left. Rarity shut the door behind him and hummed a happy tuneless melody as she took her parcel into the kitchen.

"Ah didn't think the mail ran so early," Applejack mused, eyeing the nondescript package.

"Life Cast isn't a mail-pony, darling, he's a friend," Rarity explained, slipping the parcel into the empty saddlebag. "And a business partner. I either use some of his products in a special line I make each season or sell them alongside various accessories and he does the same for me. It's a consignment operation of sorts."

"Huh. How come Ah never met him before?" AJ thought aloud, scratching her head.

Rarity struggled to mute a bought of snickering, making the ignorant farmer cock her head in confusion. Applejack pressed, but was met only with assurances that she needn't worry about it. The two returned to the kitchen and chatted about this and that as Applejack finished her "farmer's breakfast", continuing to talk until the sun was fully risen and Applejack insisted she leave to catch up with her work.

"Well it was nice having you," Rarity waved as she escorted her guest to the door. "It's always a pleasure helping a friend in need."

"And Ah thank ya for it," Applejack nodded. She slowed her pace a little and glanced sideways, a touch of pink sweeping across her face. "Uh... Ah know it kind of goes without saying, but yer gonna keep all that help between us, right?"

Rarity sighed, turning a bemused grin to her friend. "It really isn't anything to be ashamed of, Applejack. Everyone teaches their children differently. That said," she continued, cutting off a rebuttal, "I do intend to keep our little lesson under wraps. If you have any more questions feel free to come over any time."

The apple farmer smiled gratefully and dipped her head, pausing at the door to hug her host. "Thanks."

"As I said, it's no trouble," Rarity beamed. "Before you go, I have something for you." Her horn remained lit after opening the door and after a moment the saddlebags from the kitchen floated into the room and settled over Applejack's back. "Think of it as an early birthday present."

Applejack poked her head into the two pouches, noting the scrolls from breakfast and the package that Life Cast had delivered.

"What is all this?" she frowned, looking up at her friend.

Rarity thought for a few seconds before answering. "It's... a kit, we'll call it. A you time kit," she leaned into her words, making Applejack a little embarrassed to know what exactly they were. "The left pocket has thirty five levitation spells. Each one lasts thirty minutes but they don't have to be used for the full time."

Applejack shifted her weight, looking back at the pocket on her right. "And uh... this 'un?"

Rarity leaned closer to the earth pony and closed the door a bit. "Bear in mind that you don't have to use it, darling, I just wanted to give you the best equipment to start with. If you don't want it, you can leave it here, but I'd like if you at least tried  "

"I-Is it a dildo?" Applejack asked in a hushed tone, blocking her question to the outside with her hat.

Rarity held her mouth open to continue, then simply nodded. Applejack stared at her for several seconds with a gradually reddening face, then straightened up and slapped the stetson back on her head.

"Welp! Thanks for havin' me, Rare, but Ah need farm go to... uh... Ah should get apples back to Sweet Acre goin' fer... f... Ah'm gettin' behind..." Applejack stuttered for a moment, watching as Rarity recovered from her shout and shook her head in amusement, then flattened her ears and gave a long sigh.

"You sure you want it?" the unicorn asked quietly.

Applejack's eyes flicked up to hers, then looked somewhere else. "Uh... fer now."

Rarity grinned and reopened the door, prompting Applejack to buck up and act natural. "Well, you should probably get apples then."

Applejack started out the door. Then stopped. Then snorted and continued forward, her face slightly redder than before. The fashionista watched her guest to the end of the block before lighting her horn and quietly closing the door. A moment later the sign in the window flipped around, and the single employee of Carousel Boutique began another day at work.