I Daring Do!
...and the brave explorer took to the sky of Texcoco in a dash, the majestic setting sun casting its last rays upon her, right towards the next, unquestionably dangerous unsolved mystery
And another full stop, the final full stop, wraps up the latest inexpressibly excellent exploits of explorer extraordinaire, Daring Do. With the last page finished, A.K. Yearling, eminent author of exceptional adventures, takes it out of her typewriter to place it under the stack of manuscript pages already finished. Soon she would bind it and send it to her editor, who in turn would forward the very first copy to her friend Rainbow Dash, her amazingly awesome accomplice, owing to the help she provided during Daring Do's latest adventure.
She sinks into her armchair. Usually she would be much too antsy to just sit down and let the world pass by, but after day upon day of writing, she can really use a break.
She has always hated the downtime between expeditions. In fact, this was the reason she started writing in the first place: to pass the dreadful time during which all she can do is examine artifacts and study old books. It always keeps her from doing the real archeological work of exploring dark, forgotten dungeons located at the center of volcanoes, dodging century-old booby-traps forged by ancient civilizations, and stopping entire armies of bad guys with nothing but her bare hooves and an attitude.
Maybe it's appropriate, considering the adventure she had. After reliving everything in its entirety during the writing process, she has gotten a full grasp on the magnitude of what she accomplished: the complete obliteration of the Fortress of Talicon, the permanent destruction of the Rings of Scorcherro, these horrible artifacts, way too dangerous to ever fall into the wrong hooves, and the burial of the dreaded Ahuizotl alongside his prize in the depth of the Tenochtitlan basin, once and for all putting an end to his dark deeds. No villain was left unpunished, no clue left unpursued, and no mystery left unsolved. She can truly be proud of herself.
“Yep, not a single loose end left to tie up,” she says, sighing dreamily.
“Oh, I wouldn't say that. There is still one loose end, Ms. Yearling. Or should I say Daring Do?”
A.K. Yearling turns around in a flash. She recognizes the voice. It comes from none other than her nefarious nemesis, the black-hearted beast of badness himself. “Ahuizotl! How did you get in here? And how did you escape the Fortress of Talicon when it collapsed?” In a second, she has tossed away the glasses and cape that make up her disguise – they are of no use considering who she is facing.
Ahuizotl shows off his fangs in a toothy grin. “It was difficult, I have to admit. I had to swim through a river of lava, climb the stairs of Coyolxauhqui in all of their entirety... But I don't want to bore you with the details of my unbelievable escape. No, I believe there's still a score we need to settle.”
Daring Do smirks. “If you want to dance, you know I'm always ready to tango.” Just in case, she checks on her trusted whip, the one tool which managed to get her out of any situation, no matter how sticky. Like always, it is right by her side. If he were to try anything, she'd have him on his backside before he could do as much as call for one of his minions, cat or otherwise.
He lets out that terrifying maniacal laugh that would scare any lesser mare witless. “Fiery as always. But you can rest assured: I have come to say yes to your proposal.”
“What are you talking about?" she replies. "I didn't propose anything, except for you to give up your schemes for world domination, then I would go easy on you. We both know, you didn't and I didn't.”
“Oh, I do and I wouldn't want it any other way. But enough with the chit-chat. We have a tight schedule ahead of us and I have already made a number of plans after this.” He starts stroking his chin menacingly; the trait of a truly trecherous troublemaker.
What plans could he be he talking about, wonders Daring Do. His hideout has been destroyed, the Nose Ring of Cuauhtémoc has long been shipped to a museum in Manehatten, and if he thinks he can get her to spill the location of the burial site of the Jade Claw of Tlaxcala, he is almost as dumb as he looks.
With absolute confidence she tell him: “Whatever your plans are, you know I'll foil whatever fearsome felony you fowl fiend have fabricated. Just like I always do.”
He chuckles in response. “You're not getting cold hooves, are you?” He comes a menacing step closer, and then another. “No need to be scared of me.”
He doesn't need to say that twice. Instantly she snaps her whip and grabs him by his tail-hand. A quick yank has him spinning in circles, round and round, until he is violently stopped by her hoof to his shin. He stumbles and falls to the ground, all his five limbs momentarily in the air; a moment she uses to tie them all together with her whip. She has him in a bundle. After not even three seconds, Daring Do emerges victorious.
Ahuizotl tries to wiggle himself free, but the whip holds him tightly. Once he gives up, he looks back up at Daring Do, completely nonplussed. “Now that's no way to treat your fiancé.”
“What!?”
“I told you, I came here to say yes to your marriage proposal," he explains. "I want to be your lawful-wedded husband.”
She eyes him warily, although there is little to eye. Just a number of entangled hands and a face that stares at her blandly. She can't make any sense of it. “Is this some kind of trick or is the whip actually cutting off your circulation?”
“I can assure you, this is no trick,” he says. “I'm absolutely sincere. I can explain everything, but—” He cocks his head towards his hands. “Would you mind?”
“As a matter of fact, I would.” For a second, she tightens the grab of her whip. “Talk! And if I like what I hear, I might consider letting you go.”
“Alright." He sighs and shifts a little to get as comfortable as possible in his current predicament. “When you came to my evil fortress of doom, you performed the ancient rite that is the wedding proposal of my people. And now that I've come to formally accept it, the two of us are officially engaged.”
“What rite?” she asks. “All I did was destroy your temple.”
“That's exactly it. By the ancient laws of the Foalmec pony tribe, whoever destroys his evil fortress of doom shall marry its leader, who, in this case, would be me.”
She looks him squarely in the eye. “You don't expect me to believe any of this, do you?”
Perplexed, he looks back. “Of course I do. I was planning to marry you right here, right now. I even brought the Foalmec high priest with me.” He turns to the door. “Tonto! Get in here!”
On cue, one of his tribesponies walks into the room with a ceremonial headdress on his head and an equally ceremonial wand in his hoof. “Actually, it's Toztoc, sir.”
“Whatever.” Ahuizotl squirms a little and motions towards Daring. “Go tell her that the ancient laws of the Foalmec tribe are a real thing and can't be disregarded.”
Toztoc's gaze slowly shifts towards the mare that still has his ruler tied up like a Hearth's Warming present. “Um, the ancient laws of the Foalmec tribe are a real thing and can't be disregarded.”
She returns the gaze incredulously. “Even the one about marriage through the destruction of evil doom fortresses?”
He shies away from her and blushes sheepishly. She can almost see him tremble. “Even the one about the doom fortresses.”
“Do you see?” Ahuizotl pipes up. As he says this, he spins around in a circle once before realizing he's going nowhere this way. “So would you please untie me now? And you, Tonto, start the ceremony. We have no time to lose.”
“Certainly!” Toztoc visibly brightens up at the command. Then he starts with much zeal: “Friends, rulers, tribesponies, lend me your ears. We have gathered here to add our blessings to the words that shall unite our beloved emperor Ahuizotl and the unstoppable Daring Do in holy matrimony, by the power of the same temple of doom destruction law by which our last emperor Tizoc was married, before he was violently overthrown by our current ruler, as was his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, who started the entire tradition because he couldn't get a date for his prom.
“Now, since you didn't have time to write any wedding vows or prepare yourselves in any other conceivable way, we will skip a couple of steps and get right to the point.” He stops and looks Daring Do deep in the eye. “Daring Miriam Do, do you take Ahuizotl to be your lawful-wedded husband?”
Her answer is plain and simple and not the least bit magical. “Of course not. Are you insane?”
Toztoc looks at her nervously. “Then would you at least be so kind as to untie the groom?”
“I second that,” Ahuizotl says off the ground. “No tricks. I promise.”
“Fine.” She loosens the whip with a small shake to the left and retracts it. Then she puts it right back into its holster.
Back up on his feet, Ahuizotl massages each of his wrists one by one. “Finally. This feels much better.” He takes a look around. “Now, where were we? I have to admit, I wasn't paying all that much attention. Are we married yet?”
“I'm afraid not, sir,” Toztoc replies.
“Then get on with it,” Ahuizotl barks. “What are you waiting for?”
“I'm afraid that would be pointless, sir.”
“Why?”
Toztoc ducks in anticipation. “Because she already said no.”
“Can... can she do that?”
Toztoc reopens his eyes. There's still a quiver in his voice, although he has stopped shaking. “Technically, she is not a member of the Foalmec tribe, so none of our laws apply to her. If she were a tribespony, things would be a little different, but like this...”
Ahuizotl's tail violently slams into the ground. There is no holding the lovestruck luntaic leader. “Then make her a tribespony!” he yells. “Do I have to think of everything myself!?”
Once more, Toztoc flinches. “We could make her one like we always do: by abducting her and taking her to our village. But—” He kicks at the ground nervously. “—I'm afraid if I try, she's just going to beat me up. Again.”
Ahuizotl lets out a giant roar. Only the realization that he is a guest in the house of his fiancé keeps him from going berserk. He turns towards Daring Do. “Why did you say no?”
She rolls her eyes. “I just don't see this relationship working out. I mean, I'm an exceptional explorer, you're a malicious madmonkey. We have nothing in common. Besides, would you really be willing to stay home and watch the kids while I continue my career as an archeologist?”
Stumbling as if he had taken a blow to the head, Ahuizotl staggers around the room aimlessly until he finds Daring Do's favorite armchair. She would let it slide for now.
After a moment of thought-gathering, he looks back up. “I don't understand,” he says. “If you didn't want to marry me, why did you destroy my evil fortress of doom?”
“Because it was exactly that: an evil fortress of doom.”
This doesn't clear any confusion; he stares back at her exactly as puzzled as before. “Then you don't want to marry me?” he asks finally.
She turns the chair around and looks him straight in the eye, making sure she has to say these words once and only once. “Yes, I don't want to marry you and I never wanted to. Not now, not ever. We are enemies. All I want to do is keep you from taking over the world.”
Ahuizotl sinks into his chair and gulps. But it isn't in his nature to sulk in despair. After mere moments he gets back up with a newly-formed plan. “Perhaps I was too rash,” he says, his back turned, his hands folded behind it. “Perhaps we shouldn't start off this relationship with our wedding right away. First I shall woo you properly and show you that I am worthy of every bit of your admiration.” He turns around. “Allow me to take you out on a date, will you?”
“No.” Her face is cold as ice.
“No?” he asks. “What do you mean, no?”
With a step forward, she jabs him in the chest. “I mean no, I don't want to go out with you! Mischievous, meddling megalomaniacs just aren't my type. And even if they were, when it comes to dating it's the same as adventuring: I'm just way out of your league. Why don't you get that through that thick dog-shaped skull of yours!?”
Ahuizotl only barely regains his footing. “Does that mean you aren't even willing to give me a chance?”
“No, I don't!” she shouts as she walks over to the door and opens it. “Now get out of my house!”
He remains standing in the middle of the room until he realizes the unfaltering sincerity with which she keeps staring at him. He huffs indignantly. “Alright, I will go,” he says as he turns around on the door sill. “But I promise you, you haven't seen the last of me. I will be back, and when I am, you will bow before me – yes, bow before me!” He laughs his trademark maniac laugh.
“To propose, that is,” he adds. “Now come, Tonto. We have a lot of planning ahead of us.”
“Actually, it's Toztoc, sir,” the high priest says to his ruler's deaf ears. He gallops forward to catch up, leaving only a second after.
Daring Do slams the door shut behind them. Finally she could go back to the solitude of a reclusive author, back to what she has been doing before all this commotion started.
What had she been doing before? She tries to remember. It had something to do with finishing her book and sitting around, bored out of her mind, only far more interesting.
A knock on the door brings her back to reality. “Go away, Ahuizotl!” she yells at it. “I told you, I'm not interested.”
“No,” a voice replies, “it's me, the high priest. I want to talk. Can I please come in?”
She gets up and presses her ear on the door. Nothing suspicious behind it. “Ahuizotl isn't with you, is he?”
“No, he isn't. It's very important that I talk to you in private. So please, let me come in.”
“Alright.”
She opens the door and guides him towards the sofa. As soon as he sits down, she gets straight to the point. “What do you want?”
Looking around nervously, Toztoc takes a deep breath before he starts to speak. “I want you to go on a date with Ahuizotl.”
“Get out!” Her extended foreleg makes the demand unambiguous.
He jumps up, shielding himself. “Please, just let me explain myself. If you would—”
His words don't come through to her. She reaches for her whip and looks at him menacingly. “Now, are you going to leave by choice or do I have to make you?”
“Please don't! I'm a lousy fighter and I bruise easily.” He takes a step back from her, but she follows. Again and again he retreats, until there is no more room for him to do so. With his back against the wall, he blurts out: “You changed him for the better.”
Daring Do stops. “I did what?”
“Will you please let me explain?” he begs.
“Fine.” She walks back to her armchair, motioning for him to follow.
Toztoc sits down. After taking a second to readjust his headdress, he starts to explain: “Ever since the Foalmec tribe appointed Ahuizotl its supreme, indisputable ruler, the going has been pretty rough. He hasn't been exactly what any of us would call a 'good leader'.”
She smirks. “Yeah, in hindsight that was a pretty dumb move.”
He pouts at her, genuinely hurt. “Well, excuse me. Not every tribe has a benevolent, sun-controlling alicorn goddess to rule them. Some of us have to make do with what we have."
Without losing a breath he continues: “Anyway. What I was trying to say is, ever since he got the idea of marrying you in his head, he turned a new leaf. He hasn't thrown anypony into his dungeons, he hasn't arranged for any public whippings – he even stopped threatening to tear me limb from limb every time I correct him after he calls me by the wrong name.”
She looks at him confused. “So he behaves like a decent dog-monkey-beast-thingy for a change. What does that have to do with me?”
“Don't you see? He only does that because he's fallen madly in love with you. If you break his heart—” His head sinks below his shoulders. “—I'm afraid he'll revert back to his old ways.”
Daring Do waits a moment to see if there's anything more he has to say. When nothing follows, she lanes back in her chair and rests her head on her right foreleg. “So what do you want me to do?” she asks.
“Go out with him, just this once. Or twice maybe. Three times tops.”
His suggestion is met with a blank stare of disapproval. “You can't be serious,” Daring replies.
Toztoc jumps up. “I am,” he says. “You don't have to mean it. As long as you keep him occupied and show him there are other ways of running a tribe than trying to conquer the world with a new scheme every week, I'll be happy.”
Before she can reply, he speaks up again, fidgeting with his front hooves: “I know I have no right to ask you this. You have already done so much for the Foalmec ponies, stopping his mad ideas countless times. But if you do this one last thing for us, we will never ask anything of you again. Just please consider. Think about what the world would be like with a good Ahuizotl, a kind Ahuizotl, who treats his subjects with respect. Isn't that an idea worth dating for?”
She opens her mouth for a witty remark, but thinks better of it. “I'll... think about. That's all I can offer you right now.”
“Please do so. The ponies of the Foalmec tribe will be forever grateful if you do,” he says, getting up. “Now I need to get back; I can't let him get suspicious. Thank you and goodbye.”
He runs out the door and leaves Daring Do alone with her thoughts. They are all completely contradictory, providing her with no help whatsoever. She would need to sleep over it before she forms a decision.
* * *
The next day, she has made a decision, but is still no surer about it than the day before. She reaches what is essentially an abandoned den in the woods, since for the most part, that is exactly what it is. The den is Ahuizotl's emergency hide-out to which he resorts whenever his other ones are destroyed by an unassuming greatest archeologist of all time walking by.
She knocks politely and waits for an answer.
“Who is it?” an enervated Ahuizotl asks from inside.
“It's me,” Daring replies. “Open up, please.”
“It's her!” he hisses, quite audibly. “Quick, clean up the place. We can't let her in like this.”
From inside comes the sound of different body parts slapping together; from what Daring can tell, a foot and the right side of somepony's hindquarters. This is followed by some hooves galloping across a muddy floor, and finally, steps towards the opening door.
“Welcome, my darling Do,” Ahuizotl greets her, casually stepping outside and closing the door behind him. “How kind of you to visit. To what do I owe the honor?”
She hesitates. She can't picture herself actually going through with this. Still, she does so regardless. “I've come to tell you that... I'm willing to go on a date with you.”
For a moment, her date is stunned by his pure bliss at the situation. Then he starts jumping for joy.
“But I have several conditions,” she adds very harshly. She waits until he has calmed himself down and listens intently before she continues: “For the time of our date and any potential future ones, you will treat your subjects with respect. There will be no maiming, clubbing, whipping, poking, jabbing, stabbing, impaling, or grinding.”
“Certainly,” he replies innocently.
She eyes him sternly. “No crushing bones, no boiling alive, and no peeling skins.”
“Absolutely.”
“No plundering, no pillaging, and no scorching places to the ground.”
“Couldn't agree more.”
“No branding, no carving, and definitely no tearing out hairs.”
“Are you done?”
“Oh, and no running a hoofnail across a chalkboard.” She shudders at the though. “I mean, that's just diabolic.”
“Well, that covers about all of my even most evil ideas,” Ahuizotl ponders aloud. “And they're all out. I promise, for you I'll be on my best behavior. I swear it on... how do you say? The honor of my scouts.”
“Fine,” Daring proclaims. “Then you are allowed to take me on a date whenever you want.”
“How about right now? I have already prepared a little something for you, just in case you would change your mind.”
Before she can answer, he whistles through his fingers and from behind the den, Ti-Grrr, Ahuizotl's terrible tiger companion, jumps at them, dragging behind a chariot just big enough for two ponies.
Ahuizotl bows down courteously before her and offers two of his hands. “Your carriage awaits, milady.”
She gladly takes one and lets him lead her inside. “I have to say, I'm impressed,” she admits. “So, where are you taking me?”
After following behind, he grabs the reins and gees up the tiger. “First, I was thinking about doing what I always did with my last girlfriend: we would catch an ollamalitzli ball game and afterwards attend the traditional flogging of the victors.”
“That's disgus—Wait! Why, out of all things, would you flog the victors afterwards?”
He waves it off as he makes the turn for a hill to the right. “Political reason. As time went by, it got less and less about the game and more and more about the flogging. Anyway, that is not what we're doing today. I've studied your old Equestrian traditions in the hopes of finding something you like. And I've found something even more fraudulent, devious, and contemptuous.”
As they make their way over the hill, Daring can already see what he's talking about before he finishes his sentence.
“Behold,” Ahuizotl says, “Tenochtitlan's very first county fair.”
The Foalmec tribesponies have really gone all out on this one. There is everything a county fair needs, from the myriad of useless junk to be won in crooked games, over the various rides sending its passengers into all kinds of emotional turmoil, to the numerous booths offering every imaginable piece of overpriced foodstuff. There even is a giant Ferris wheel in the middle from where to oversee the entire fair.
She stares at it in disbelief, feeling like a filly again, fresh out of high school. “And you did all this just for me?” she asks.
Then he says words she'd have never guessed hearing from him: “Not just me. I can't take all the credit for myself. Granted, I did most of the design, but all my subjects helped me realize it every step of the way.”
Again he offers his hand to lead her out of the chariot. “What do you want to do first, my love?”
“I don't know,” she says. “Let's just go for a stroll, okay?”
They do just that. With so many potential activities around them, it's not easy to decide. Whenever Daring notices a particular booth of interest, she has already spotted something else further down the fair.
There are no other fairgoers around them. All the tribesponies are employed to run one booth or another and only those on break have the time to at least glance at the attractions and maybe even try one. But the one who it was build for, the one who is to enjoy herself with none of her wishes unfulfilled, is without question Daring Do, and she realizes as much.
It takes her a solid five minutes to notice she has been holding Ahuizotl's hand the entire time, and when she does, she doesn't let go. It just feels right somehow, as if there were no other way to visit a county fair together. Only when she spies a particularly desirable price hanging from one of the booths does she let go and rushes over.
“A little Cipactli plushie,” she says, full of wonder. “I so got to have one of those!”
“Then I shall win you one,” Ahuizotl says. “Three balls, please,” he tells the carny as he hands over five bits.
It's a simple milk bottle game, with six of them stacked in a neat little pyramid. His first two throws are completely off mark, barely landing inside the booth at all. The third does hit, but only the topmost bottle, which promptly falls and is just as promptly picked up and put back in place.
Ahuizotl lets out a huff. “Three more, please,” he says giving the carny another five bits.
“You know, you don't have to do this,” Daring tells him.
“I do and I will,” he says as he throws another ball, this one hitting the leftmost bottle, but not with enough force to knock it over. It just slides backwards an inch or two before it's pushed back by the carny. His next two attempts are equally pathetic. Both bounce off the middle row without making as much as a dent.
“Three more!” he yells angrily.
He rips all three balls from the carny's hoof before he has even paid and immediately throws the first one. It knocks over the three bottles to the right, setting a new personal record for the day.
Ahuizotl doesn't pause and tosses the next one with all the force he can muster. It hits the middle can of the bottom row perfectly, exactly where he aimed at. But the entire pyramid doesn't budge in the slightest.
“Oh, come on!” he shouts. “That should have been a perfect hit!”
“Don't worry about it,” Daring says as she casually slips the carny five bits for a ball trio of her own. “It wouldn't be a real carnival game if it wasn't rigged.”
She takes her first ball, throws it up, spins around, and kicks it at the stack of milk bottles to the left. All of them crash to the ground at once.
“Or maybe you just suck at this,” she tells him smugly as the carny gives her her plushie.
Blinded with rage, Ahuizotl takes his last ball and winds up a throw. Then he jumps the counter, walks up to the milk cans, and violently punches every last one of them down with his throwing arm.
“Um, I'm pretty sure that isn't allowed,” the carny says.
Ahuizotl turns to him, besides himself with rage. “I don't care,” he shouts. “You're going to give her that plushie regardless.”
The carny glances at the plushie he has just given away, still held up in her left hoof. “Alright, I will.”
“Good. Then we won't have a problem.” Ahuizotl jumps back outside, taking Daring's hoof and dragging her to a place as far away as possible.
Daring Do can't help herself chuckling at all this. “You know you shouldn't lose your temper just because you lose a game,” she teases.
“I know. It's just that... I could have won you that plushie fair and square. I just didn't warm up properly.”
“Of course.” She giggles at him, to which he blushes beat-red.
“Look, churros!” she says as she pulls him towards another booth. “Let's get some.”
The smell gets more and more enticing the closer they get. She can barely restrain herself by the time they reach the booth.
“This smells good,” she tells the fry cook as she peeks over the counter.
“It does, doesn't it?” the fry cook answers. “You know, I seem to have a real knack for this. It's almost like frying—” He looks up just in time to catch Ahuizotl shoot him an evil glare. “...certain things I'm not supposed to mention in front of you. So, what can I do for you?”
“I'd like four churros, please.” She glances over at Ahuizotl. “Anything for you?”
He looks around a little languidly. “I'll have one too,” he decides. “But we ought to hurry a little. We should be done with the booths by sunset.”
“What happens at sunsets?” she asks, but he keeps his mouth shut. She has to wait until the time has come.
Five minutes before the sun goes down, Ahuizotl guides her to the Ferris wheel.
“This is another one of your Equestrian rituals I've read about,” he says as he opens the cabin door for her. She gets in and the Ferris wheel takes the two of them slowly to the top.
Just as they reach the apex, the top half of the sun starts vanishing behind the horizon and the cabin stops. For a few minutes they sit in silence as the sky gradually becomes more orange.
“You know, my people have a saying,” Ahuizotl says, taking Daring's hoof and looking her deep into the eye. “Loosely translated it means, 'I would gouge out the eyes of anyone who fails to see your beauty.' ”
Daring Do looks right back. “Awww, that's gruesomely horrifying. But also kind of romantic—ish.” She looks back at the sunset. “You know what? For today I'm just gonna go with romanticish.”
Beside her, Ahuizotl smiles. “If you like that one, there's another one about breaking the legs of those unwilling to bow to your greatness.”
“Don't push it.”
She lays her head into his lap and lets him wrap his arms around her. For the rest of the sunset, they sit in complete silence. Only when the last sunray has faded off into the distance does Daring Do come back to reality.
“What are we doing here?” she asks as she withdraws her head from his lap. “This is wrong. It's just an illusion. We can't possibly be together like this.” She wavers before she continues. “Can we?”
Ahuizotl grabs her and holds her tight. “Of course we can,” he assures her. “You have changed me. For you, I'm willing to give up my evil ways. What do I need to conquer the world for anyway, when I already have you.”
Daring gently pushes him away. “But it can't always be like this,” she insists.
“It can! All you have to say is, I Daring do.”
“I Daring can't!”
“Yes, you Daring can. You just need to believe in us.”
“But what if I Daring shouldn't? What if I make the wrong call and everything gets awkward between us when you go back to conquering the world and I go back to fighting you.”
Eagerly, she waits for an answer, but he doesn't have one. She droops her ears and lowers her head, but he lifts it up again and stares her straight into those moderate rose eyes. “Just listen to what your heart says,” he almost whispers. “It will tell you what to Daring do.”
She says nothing in response. Caught in his eyes, she simply let's him hold her. After a tantalzing eternity, she moves a little closer. A fraction of an inch at a time, she conquers the distance to his lips. She gets close enough to feel his breath on her nuzzle. Then, with a single jerk, she pulls back her head.
“I... have to go,” she says as she breaks away from him, opens the door, and jumps out into the night air, breaking her fall by latching onto one of the Ferris wheel's girders with her whip, swinging off into the distance. In one swift motion she does a forward roll and starts running across the fair, running all the way home where she quickly locks the door.
She has never felt so conflicted in her life. On the one hoof there is this manipulating, mischievous mad-monkey. On the other there is this kind, courteous cavalier. Can these two personalities really be the same being? And can she have one all to herself without the other?
She is so confused. Just what is she supposed to Daring do—
“Alright. Stop right there. That's more than enough. This is all I can take of this... this... balderdash! None of it makes any sense.”
“What!? This isn't balderdash, this is pure Rainbow Dash! Which is the same as awesome. You're just jealous you didn't think of it first.”
“Jealous? Jealous of what? A ludicrous idea you turned into a ridiculous farce?”
“Name one thing, just one thing that's wrong with it.”
“First off, you reveal to the entire world that A.K. Yearling is Daring Do, a fact she goes out of her way to keep hidden. Do you have any idea what an inconceivable breach of trust that is?”
“Oh, please! Me and Double-D are way close. I know she'd be totally cool with it.”
“Second, their sudden change in relationship is completely illogical. I mean, they're mortal enemies. A little bit of Foalmec law mumbo-jumbo and a day at the fair can't change ponies that fast.”
“You forget, Ahuizotl isn't a pony. And it's been hinted at plenty of times that there's more going on between them than meets the eye. You remember how in book four, underneath the Great Pyramid of Tenochtitlan, she goes back to save him from the piranha swarm? You can't deny there was some sort of chemistry between them. I'm just putting together all the pieces already there.”
“Even if that were true, your story is also riddled with awful, arbitrary alliteration and positively painful puns.”
“And you are riddled with.. with... stupidness! All I did...”
On the other side of the room, Applejack was shifting around her chair, utterly indifferent about Twilight Sparkle's and Rainbow Dash's loud fight. “Think we can go now?” she asked the others. “I still got some farm business to take care of today.”
“Wouldn't that be a little rude?” Fluttershy said. “I mean, Rainbow Dash didn't even get to finish her story.”
“Oh, darling, it's just going to be like every week,” Rarity said, “they will shout at each other for another thirty minutes, before they settle on one of their silly dares about who can write the better adventure novel. Oh, how I wish that once, just once, we would read and discuss one of the great masters of the romantic era, instead of degenerating into a discussion about Rainbow Dash's writing skills and how... improvable they are.”
“I don't think her story needed any improvement,” Pinkie Pie said. “Except a kiss scene where Daring Do and Ahuizotl hug and kiss and confess their love to each other and agree to be together forever and ever. Oh, and of course cupcakes, because anything can be improved by cupcakes.
“Now I'm hungry.” Pinkie's growling stomach very much complied with her. “Who wants to join me for a batch of Double-Chocolate Chip Rainbow Sprinkled Vanilla-Hazelnut Surprises at Sugarcube Corner? My treat.”
“That's a marvelous idea!”
“Oh, what the hay. I can always catch up on farm work tomorrow.”
The trio looked expectantly at Fluttershy. “Um...” she said. “If you say it's okay. I guess I could go for a couple of cupcakes. I haven't really eaten since this morning.”
“Then it's settled,” Pinkie announced. “Off to Sugarcube Corner!” She led the charge to the outside world as everypony followed promptly behind, making no effort to conceal their disappearance from the still fighting fangirls.
As they stepped out the door, they felt the need to pause a moment, to enjoy the world in all its natural beauty. Above them, the sun was shining brightly; it was a wonderful day.