Open Honesty
A week had gone by since the odd events occurred; a week since the magical pony princess known as Twilight Sparkle had come to this world and changed Canterlot High forever. While life had since gone on, the events were still fresh on everyone's minds, with no day going by that it wasn't spoken about.
Within all of it, Fluttershy had kept out of it, despite having been there. For the first few days, she was hounded with all kinds of questions, and peers now wanting to be her friend. This, of course, frightened her, most especially with a certain secret she was holding. Thankfully, it never came to that, and eventually it died down. At least, for her, it did.
However, it proved beneficial to her friends, which she was glad to see. Applejack and her family farm had much more booming business than before, which managed to help pay for the repairs to the barn. Rarity was not only able to sell pony ears and tails, but also some other little articles and accessories of her own design. Pinkie was appointed to help plan more parties and events, while her home base of Sugarcube Corner also got a lot more business in the coming days. Rainbow Dash especially soaked up the attention and put on some little shows during the school games.
On the bright side, Fluttershy actually did get some more volunteers for the animal shelter, some even having their parents help to donate to the place. So while she wasn't exactly enjoying the attention, at least it helped promote the animal shelter a lot more than ever.
Today, however, Fluttershy felt nothing but dread. During lunch, Rainbow had sent her a text, telling her to come meet her in one of their meeting places. The girl’s locker rooms after school was out. While the message was direct about meeting there, nothing about it suggested it was for their regular rendezvous incentives.
It could only mean one thing. This was going to be a rendezvous consisting of a conversation she was not going to like.
But Fluttershy knew that she had to go through with talking to Rainbow Dash. There was no way she could just bail on her out of fear.
When the final bell rang, Fluttershy inconspicuously made her way to the gym. It was a slow trek, what with the dread and anxiety eating away at her gut. Of course, the fear of the unknown was the real culprit, as she had no honest clue what this was about or going to be about. There was a little voice in her head, telling her of a few signs she'd seen since Twilight Sparkle had come to their world. Signs that she knew made her glad for Rainbow, but ultimately dreaded what it would do to them.
Taking a few deep breaths, Fluttershy entered the locker room, and maneuvered around the corners. She eventually came upon Rainbow Dash, who was sitting on one of the benches and playing with a soccer ball.
“Rainbow? Hi... I got your text,” she said softly, sitting before her.
Smiling a bit, Rainbow turned to her, “Glad you came, Fluttershy,” she greeted her with a sweet kiss.
“What is it... you wanted to see me about?” Fluttershy dared ask, the anxiety in her stomach making her aware of its movements.
With a sigh, Rainbow looked at her and held her hand, “It's not gonna be easy for me to say this, but I gotta. You know how much my break up with AJ killed me.”
Fluttershy nodded slowly, but didn't respond.
“Well... After we made up, we... I got to talking with her. She wants to give us another shot,” Rainbow confessed, looking away from her, “And I really want to get back together with her, 'Shy. I knew... I knew I'd go for it in a heartbeat if she wanted me back.”
The words hit her ears like a semi-truck crashing into her. Every bit of herself was slowly dying from the factors at hand.
Heart sinking, it took all of Fluttershy's strength not to start crying. The last thing she could do was make this even harder for Rainbow, “...I... I... I realized that... when you two made up... while Twilight was here.”
“I didn't tell her about us,” Rainbow murmured, “I just told her I'd think about it.”
Looking up at her again, Fluttershy sniffed and wiped her eyes of the oncoming tears that gathered, “...Do you... really want to break up with me?”
“No,” Rainbow stated, shaking her head, “But I don't want to give up on Applejack, either. What happened between us was some big misunderstanding, we could've worked it out. It didn't have to end. I-I can't just let that slip me by, Fluttershy.”
“I... Rainbow, I...” Fluttershy couldn't hold it back and began to cry, trembling.
“Aw, crap...! Fluttershy, I'm sorry!” Rainbow uttered, coming over and hugging her, “Flutters, please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I hate myself for this. If I could just flip a switch and forget about my feelings for her, I would. But I can't, I just can't. Not after I have a chance to save what she and I had. She really wants me back, and I want to get back with her, too. But I... I had to do this first, Flutters. I know we're sneaking around behind our friends' backs, but I can't do that anymore.”
Pulling away, Fluttershy stood up and turned away, weeping silently, “...Did it mean nothing to you? Why? Why can't we just stay together? You two make up and you're suddenly... dumping me? Tossing me aside because you don't need me anymore?”
“Hey!” Rainbow half-yelled, not in anger, but sadness, “That's not fair, Fluttershy! I didn't ask you out because I was desperate! Sure I was sad and needed a friend, but I didn't just do that fill a void! I... I didn't count on falling madly in love with you, but I did want to give you a chance after you told me you loved me. I just... Fluttershy, I know what's gonna happen if I don't get back together with AJ. I'm gonna end up-”
“-longing for her, neglecting me to go see her, and resenting me,” Fluttershy whimpered.
“Not that last part,” Rainbow came behind her, placing her hands on her shoulders, “Fluttershy... I love you. I really do love you.”
“Not enough to stay with me,” Fluttershy moaned.
“Flutters, if AJ didn't want me back, this wouldn't be an issue.”
“Yes it would. You'd still want her.”
“...Point taken,” Rainbow conceded, then hugged her from behind, “I'm sorry, I just knew I had to tell you what was going on. If I didn't... we'd end up worse than we all were when Sunset Shimmer broke us all up.”
Crying still, Fluttershy couldn't move. Every bit of her body and her mind were shattering like delicate glass. Her legs were weak and refused to move away in spite of Rainbow Dash's hold on her. She let out a pained whimper, sniffling.
“I love you,” Rainbow whispered into her ear, “Believe me, I do. I just love Applejack, too. What we had together was awesome, I loved being with you, and I still love it. I just.... can't ignore my chance with Applejack. I didn't want us to break up badly.”
“I-I-I know,” Fluttershy moaned, powerless to stop her sobbing, “But... I love you... And I don't want to break up with you...”
Rainbow sighed, laying her chin on Fluttershy’s shoulder, “You think this is easy for me? You think I'm gonna be all hunky-dory? You think I'm gonna run into Applejack's arms like I'm a free woman the minute I leave? Flutters, I feel like a complete louse. I feel like I don't deserve AJ or you. At this point if I tell AJ, she's probably gonna be furious. Then I'll really have screwed up.”
“Then stay with me!” Fluttershy yelled, turning around to face her, “The only reason you're breaking up with me is because you want to be with her! Unless... there's more to it, isn't there.”
“No!” Rainbow yelled. “No! We've got our issues but I don't want to dump you! I don't! When are you gonna believe me?! I love you! You think I'm glad I have to break up with you to be with Applejack?! You don't think I want to just move on?!”
About to retort, Fluttershy was then stricken. The look on Rainbow's face had every look of a girl who was destroyed. Her captivating cerise eyes were filled with tears, bloodshot and puffy. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her lips quivered, and even her body language suggested complete unease. The angry accusations died in Fluttershy's throat as she felt guilt creep into her. She sniffled, and threw her arms around her.
“I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Dashie... please forgive me, I was... I was just...”
“Hey, hey, shhh,” Rainbow soothed, albeit sadly, and held her close, “I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to get all upset, either. Frankly, I don't blame ya for getting that mad.”
Fluttershy nuzzled into her shoulder, holding her tight, “You should. All I did was jump on you, when I could be supportive... Making this easy for you... Letting you go so you could be happy...”
“Flutters, come on,” Rainbow lifted her head to meet her gaze, “Let's get real here. I know you want me to be happy. But you love me, you're not exactly willing to give me up. If I were in your shoes, I'd sure as heck be trying to fight for you.”
“But... to truly love someone... is to let them go...” Fluttershy whimpered, “This is just proving I don't love you, isn't it...”
Rainbow sighed, and gave her a sweet kiss, stroking her hair, “Fluttershy, stop that. You're overthinking it! Just because you're sad and actually being selfish for a change doesn't mean you don't love me.”
Sniffling, Fluttershy shook her head, “I'm not making it easy for you...”
“I didn't expect you to! You think I want you to be all smiling and perfectly supportive?” Rainbow responded, holding her tighter, “Of course not! Flutters, it's like I keep telling you. I know you like to think of others and help them. But that doesn't mean you can't think of yourself, either! Right now, you're not exactly in a position to think about others, and that's fine! I'm not mad you're not letting me go. I'm just... I feel awful as it is, and I don't need you faking it to make me feel better.”
“...Okay...” Fluttershy whimpered, managing to meet her gaze again, “I'm still sorry...”
“No. You have nothing to be sorry for,” said Rainbow Dash, kissing her tears, “I'm the one who should be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong! I know it's cliché of me to say 'It's not you, it's me,' and all, but I mean that. It's not you, not at freaking all! It's all me. Flutters, maybe if I did want Applejack back and she didn't say this, I wouldn't try pursuing her. I'd still be with you.”
Blinking her eyes, Fluttershy looked down in shame again, “Then... Then why are we breaking up?”
Sighing, Rainbow stroked her hair, “I can't sneak behind Applejack's back. I know we were doing that since we got together, but she and I broke up and I was sure we were history. Heck, I wanted to tell her I was with you, but since we were sneaking around and she had no idea we were together... Yeah, I did that so I could break up with you and get with her. I'm so sorry... I can't believe I was willing to do that to you. How can you still want me? I practically lied to Applejack so I could dump you and get back together with her scot-free! I knew if I told her, she'd never let me get with her,” Rainbow moaned with guilt, “I knew she'd want me to stay with you. I knew she'd move on to someone else... I didn't want her to get away.”
“...The same reason I can't let you go,” Fluttershy uttered, her voice breaking, “Because you were selfish. Just as I'm being selfish. I... I don't want you to get back together with her! I want you to stay with me! When you two were together, I was so jealous, but I didn't want to ruin things for you! Then when you two broke up, at first I was thrilled and felt I had a chance! I was even secretly hoping I could win you over and we'd date! I-I felt bad that things ended with you two the way they did, I really was, but... I was so happy I could pursue you! When you two made up, I was scared. I was scared you'd... want to get back together with her. Especially when we all knew what Sunset Shimmer had done. I had a feeling you'd be encouraged to get back with her. But I didn't want to say anything... I didn't want to ruin what we had or... or make it harder for you.
“I can't compete with Applejack! She's my friend and I do care for her, I'm glad things are working out... But she had you first and you love her enough to dump me to get with her! I'm not happy about this! At all! I want her to go date someone else so you'd leave her alone!”
It felt so strange to say all of that. Fluttershy could not believe the words that had come out of her mouth. Only her deepest thoughts could ever have mustered such words, such feelings. Although liberated, she still wanted to take it all back. To just forget she ever said that and not make this any uglier.
There was silence, which was getting to her more than ever. Fluttershy looked up, but instead of angry, Rainbow Dash was smiling, albeit looking surprised.
“Wow... Thank you,” Rainbow said after a few moments.
“...What?”
“For being honest with me, Flutters. At this point, we've got no room for secrets.”
“...Rainbow... I... I just said...”
Rainbow kissed her to silence her, then pulled away a little, “Fluttershy, I just told you what I did, and that was bad. Now you just told me how you really feel. You see? This is exactly what we need to do together. Being honest... like Twilight was telling us. I'm glad you told me that. Really.”
“...Dashie, despite that... I did want to be there for you when you two broke up... I mean, I was thrilled, but I didn't want to use it to my advantage. I really did want to be a friend to you,” Fluttershy sniffled, looking ashamed.
“Hey, hey, come on, Fluttershy. I know that. I didn't doubt it,” Rainbow kissed her tears again, holding her closer, “Besides, I had a feeling you had a crush on me at the time. Why do you think I asked you out?”
“...How did you know?” Fluttershy asked, her voice above a whisper as she met her eyes.
A little laugh escaped Rainbow, “I saw you doodling our names with a lot of hearts in your notebook a few times. Plus you blushed all the time when we were together, and really liked getting close to me. Besides, maybe I kinda did... want someone to want me... Maybe, I don't know, maybe I kinda was a bit lonely and wanted to date again. But... like I said, I fell in love with you, Flutters. It was the best decision I ever made.”
Managing to smile sadly, Fluttershy returned the hug, “I... I know, I don't doubt it. I'm just sorry if I seemed to.”
“Enough with the apologies, I know how you feel.”
“Sorry.”
Giving her a playful glare, Rainbow reached down and pinched her bottom, “I'm trying to bear my soul here, you know.”
Fluttershy squirmed a bit, giggling, “Rainbow... you're sure? You really don't want to break up with me?”
“I think I kinda made it clear I didn't,” Rainbow said dryly, “Need me to spell it out for you?”
“Well...” Fluttershy let her go, looking at her with uncertainty.
She couldn't believe that this hadn't come up earlier, let alone ever. It was surprising to think of, all things considered. Would it really help? Was it a good idea? At this moment, Fluttershy wasn't sure what could be done. All she knew was that she didn't want to give Rainbow up. As much as her mind was nagging her to just do the “right thing”, she just couldn't ignore this opportunity. Maybe it was a last ditch effort to have her, maybe it was a curious exploration. Either way, it deserved to be said.
Fluttershy met Rainbow's gaze, taking a few deep breaths. She had to let this out, for nothing else than to discuss it. That was what they were doing, after all.
“Maybe you don't have to give me up to be with her.”
Rainbow Dash frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You know... There's another way we can work this out.”
“Still not following.”
Sighing, Fluttershy looked down at the floor, “I'm talking about having both of us. At the same time.”
“But... that'd be cheating! I can't just cheat on you both!” Rainbow exclaimed with indignation, “How's that going to help?! AJ's gonna be mad I'm seeing you behind her back and then you're gonna be sad and jealous when I'm with her!”
“Not if you're honest with both of us about it,” Fluttershy pointed out.
Opening her mouth to retort, Rainbow retracted. She had her there. “...I don't get it. How can you have two people at once? Is it like those cult camps or those countries where guys have a bajillion wives?”
“It's called polyamory,” Fluttershy explained, looking up at her now, “Cheating is when you lie and go behind someone's back while still with them. Polyamory is when you're in a consensual relationship with more than one person. Um... circumstances and how it all works varies, but that's the basic principle. So... you could really have both of us.”
“...I... I didn't know...that kind of thing could happen...” Rainbow confessed, shaking her head, “I don't even know if Applejack's gonna be all right with that. What if she's not? Then what?”
Fluttershy exhaled, “I don't know. All I know is that you have to tell Applejack the truth.”
“Flutters, I see what you mean, and it'd be awesome if I could have both of you,” Rainbow admitted, “But what then? It's gonna lead to jealousy and all that stupid stuff. Especially since I'm a loyal gal. What's that going to say?”
“Rainbow... being loyal doesn't mean you have to limit yourself. Loyalty is about being there for your loved ones, standing up for them, and keeping them in your heart. Love... love doesn't have limits,” Fluttershy said softly, taking hold of her cheeks, “Loyalty doesn't mean monogamy.”
Wiping her eyes, Rainbow met Fluttershy's gaze again, bringing her arms around her, “But then there's everything else, Fluttershy. How's this gonna work?”
“We'll have to talk about it, just... just like we did now,” Fluttershy whispered, “A good relationship is about communicating openly and honestly. That was all something we didn't do. Remember? Twilight helped us realize that.”
Letting out a sigh, Rainbow shook her head, “I just don't know, Fluttershy. But I guess all I can do for now is tell Applejack the truth. Maybe she'll be open to it. I just... don't know how she'd feel about all this with you.”
Fluttershy smiled, “Sometimes, if three people are together, it's because they're sharing one person. Like I said, polyamorous circumstances all vary. In this case, Applejack and I would still be friends, while we both love you, and you love both of us.”
“Okay,” Rainbow conceded, and kissed her nose, letting her go, “I can't promise anything, Flutters. But I can definitely tell Applejack everything.”
“That's all you can do for now, Dashie,” Fluttershy said softly, “We'll... see what happens after that.”
Nodding, the athletic girl took her duffel bag, slinging it over her shoulder, “Right. I'll talk to her at practice. You just... you take care.”
“Of course,” Fluttershy picked up her backpack as well, “I'm... I'm glad we had this talk.”
“Me too,” Rainbow said, looking at her, “And Fluttershy?”
“Hmm?”
“Y'know, no matter what's gonna happen... You know I love you, right? I always will,” Rainbow said sincerely.
Smiling, Fluttershy nodded, “I know. I'll always love you, too.”
They shared a sweet kiss, then Rainbow Dash took her hand, squeezing it.
“C'mon, walk out with me.”
“Sure, Dashie.”
They left the locker room together, heading through the gym to get outside to the soccer field. While the future was uncertain, as it had proven vastly a week ago, at least one thing was for sure. Fluttershy felt a lot better since having walked into that locker room. She felt confident that in some way, everything was going to be all right. It was going to make them stronger.