My Minutes Being Human
Hello, my name is Lyra. Now, as strange as it may sound to you humans, I am a unicorn. No, no, wait! Don't go! I want to tell you about how your species has crushed my dreams and positive assumptions. This is my story of my few minutes being human.
***
I would often stay at home and read my books. These were perculiar books and because I read them, nopony really wanted to talk to me. These books were on the subject of a strange creature called a 'human'. Like monkeys on bipedals. Ever since Pinkie Pie told me about the humans, I have been engrossed in their lifestyle, I even trained myself to sit like a human!
One day, I was very deep in my studies of humans until I heard a knock on the door. Using my unicorn magic I opened the door. There stood Pinkie Pie, happy as ever. Unlike me, she is not a unicorn. She is an earth pony and that means she does not have a horn or wings like a unicorn or a pegasus, respectively.
"Hello Pinkie. How can I help you?" I asked.
"Lyra! Lyra! You gotta come with me right now!" Pinkie said with a huge smile.
Off we went.
***
I followed her and we arrived at the Sugarcube Corner and Pinkie took me down to the basement of the bakery. It was very dark and dusty and it didn't smell good either. Some dust went up my nose and I sneezed, accidentally hitting myself with my hoof whilst doing so.
"Oh Lyra. You alright?" Pinkie asked, lighting a torch.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Pinkie. So why did you bring me down here?" I asked, sniffing at the humid air.
She simply giggled and pressed a button on a wall, what seemed to be a dead end then collapsed into the gritty ground beneath it and revealed an astonishing laboratory. Everything was so shiny and new looking! The shimmering silver glinted against itself. Everything looked rather high-tech for such a simple age as ours.
"Alright, Lyra, sit on that chair!" Pinkie said, bouncing to a panel in front of a chair.
I trotted over to it but before I sat down I noticed something. This was not like a pony chair. I had to sit like a human to be seated on it properly. I hesitantly did so and Pinkie bounced over to me.
"Now, this won't hurt a bit! I've done it plenty of times! Just trust me." She said with a huge smile that I could not distrust.
She attatched some wires all over me and told me to stay as still as I could.
She gave me a reassuring smile and said, "Hope you enjoy the surprise!" before flipping a switch.
I felt air flow around me. In and out of my hooves. I looked at them and saw...fingers! I felt around my head, my mane - no - my hair, weaving between my fingers. I found it a little hard to breath all of a sudden, then I realised that my head became smaller and flatter and I adjusted quickly. What I could see around me was just orange. It looked and felt like it was swirling but I wasen't moving anywhere. I felt myself get taller but not painfully. I could tell Pinkie's plan was to turn my into a human, but why? Because I secretly asked for it?
Questions such as 'how did Pinkie Pie do this?' and 'how did she know I wanted to be human?' kept repeating in my mind. I then felt the swirling suddenly stop. It was like when you're about to go to sleep and you suddenly jolt up!
I was in a dark alleyway, the smell of rotting rubbish in a bin next to me filled up my nose. I quickly ran out of the alley because of the revolting smell and fell over. I was not used to running on two legs. The pain I felt was horrible. Humans had softer skin than ponies. I walked around me and looked at the fellow humans running past me, barely giving any sight to me. I could hear a terrible wailing sound echoing across this town. The humans were not all well dressed, spare a few who looked rather prissy. I must have stood out with my bright mint green top and light cyan hair, but everyone was running too intently to notice. In one of the buildings and saw an odd box. I heard a voice come from it - the humans spoke English! - which said something about 'raiding' and 'Germany'. I didn't know what it meant, but then I found out.
***
The last thing I remember of the human world was a buzzing sound, then a whistling sound descending in pitch. Then my ears being blasted by something loud. I felt like I had been punched in my chest very hard, but at the last second something appeared and pulled me into a portal.
***
I rose up instantly, gasping for air, looking at myself and not wanting my homosapien form any longer. I was a unicorn again. I calmed down and looked, I was still sat down like a person! I immediatley jumped up from the chair.
"Oh, Lyra. I'm so sorry," Pinkie frowned, "I thought I had sent you to a good time in the human world. I'm sorry, my invention messed up."
I was still gasping for air slightly and stormed out of her basement, not looking back. I knew she was frowning more than she had before, I could sense it.
***
So now I write to you humans, why? Why do you feel the need to destroy each other? I may not have seen much in my brief time in your world, but it told me enough. Now I hate humans for how evil they can be. I guess that's just human. I've had my time. I've had my minute being human.