> Super Smash Brothers: Disharmony
>  by Dusty the Royal Janitor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue: An Invitation from Beyond Space
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: This story effectively takes place in an AU, after the events of issue 4 of the MLP comic book, but does not recognize any events of Season 3 onward. Reading issues 1-4 of the comic will only help, but are not required.)

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Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Prologue: An Invitation from Beyond Space



Princess Luna was not happy.

The sovereign of the night glowered at the sky, her ethereal mane of stars billowing furiously behind her as she stared up into the endless dark. She snorted as she paced back and forth across the balcony, her platinum-clad hooves treading heavily against the marble floor and her visage contorted into a snarl of pure, unbridled fury. A low growl escaped her lips as she continued to survey the stars above her and watch her beautiful work be sullied, herself seemingly incapable of fixing the blight upon her masterpiece. 

Princess Celestia, sovereign of the day stood with her younger sister on the terrace. As she too stared into the night sky, she had not a look of rage upon her face, instead wearing an air of confusion. The bright white mare looked back and forth from the stars to the smaller alicorn, still stomping around throwing her little fit. The two remained in that way for some time before Celestia finally cleared her throat.

“It looks fine to me.”

This was obviously the wrong thing to say, as Luna whirled on her sister, her eyes bloodshot with wrath and worry. The royal blue mare clenched her jaw as she pointed an accusing hoof at her older sibling and snarled, “Of course thou wouldst say as such, Sister. Thou dost not know the intricacies of my night! Thou wouldst simply let the night rule itself and fall into disarray were it thy hoof that guided the stars and the moon. ‘Twas what thou did in my absence after all.”

“Luna...” Celestia said pleadingly.

“Just as I would not presume to understand the ins and outs of thy day, do not presume to understand every last facet of my night, simply because thou foalsat it for so long. Just because the stars hang in the sky does not mean all is well, sister.”

Celestia sighed. The lunar princess could be such a drama queen when she was angry. Celestia thought she had done a pretty good job of handling the night sky for the thousand years that Luna was gone, but according to the younger Alicorn, she had to spend the next eight months fixing everything that Celestia had broken. She had assumed that the whole thing was water under the bridge, and was a little annoyed that Luna would bring it up again. Better, though, to apologize and move onto solving the matter at hoof than to try and defend herself if there was indeed something the matter in the night sky.

“Very well, Luna,” Celestia began, bowing her head, “I apologize. Now can you perhaps tell this ignorant older sister of yours just what is wrong with your night? From what I can see it looks as beautiful as ever.”

Luna rolled her eyes and pointed to what appeared to be a comet off in the far reaches of the sky. “That!” Luna barked, glaring at the offending object.

The princess of the sun squinted, looking at the small object floating across the night sky. “A comet? No offense, Luna, but that doesn’t seem to be a good reason to be so angry. Certainly not reason enough to use your magic to crush Prince Blueblood’s bust into a singularity.”

“Yon fusty-headed bugbear doth not deserve a statue anyway!” Luna scoffed, “But ‘tis beside the point, Sister! That so-called comet is an invader! It defiles my night with its presence! It is not a comet at all!”

“It’s not?” Celestia cocked her head.

“Of course not!” Luna roared. “I control the night sky! Every star, every comet, every last shred of insignificant space junk, all of them bend to my will! But this thing... ‘Tis no body of mine! I did not make it! I cannot control it! It does not belong in my night!”

The Solar Princess looked back to the offending object hurtling through the blackness, beginning to see why her sister was so upset. Were a second sun to show up during the day that she did not make and had no control over, she would likely be in much the same state.  “So what do you think we should do, Luna?”

The night mare slumped to the floor of the balcony, legs akimbo. “I know not, sister. ‘Tis distressing and worrisome, this intruder, but I know not what I could do about it.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, staring at the looming body in the sky. “Well, if you didn’t call for it, and you can’t send it away, perhaps you should bring it down to investigate it further.”

Luna’s ear twitched, as she looked up to the sky. “That would be the other thing that worries me sister...” she said.

“What, Luna?”

Luna growled. “’Tis coming down anyway.”


* * *


Twilight Sparkle was forcibly jostled from her slumber when she heard the loud belch come from the other side of the room. With a shriek, she tumbled out of the warm safety of her comforter and collapsed to the cold, hardwood floor. She sat up and groaned, rubbing her eyes with fatigue. 

“Spike?” she called across the darkness of their bedroom, a warm midsummer night’s breeze gently wafting across her face from the open window. She heard a grunt come from the direction of the baby dragon’s bed as she saw a small silhouette suddenly stand up in the little basket in the corner of the room and toss off a slightly singed blanket.

“Ngh... Why is the Princess sending messages so late at night?” the baby dragon yawned, rubbing his eyes. 

Twilight lit up her horn and illuminated the room, drowsily plodding over to her number one assistant’s basket. As she approached, Spike sleepily fished the scroll from his covers and handed it to Twilight, sitting back down in a lethargic stupor. Twilight, though, when she saw the scroll was instantly awake. The scroll’s parchment was bright red and had a black seal on it.

“Spike!” she said, grabbing the scroll away from him in her magic, “That’s an emergency scroll! The Princesses only use that color and seal if something very serious is happening!”

“Mmm-hmm...” Spike said, still in his haze. Twilight, on the other hand, had so much adrenaline pumping through her veins there was no way she was going back to sleep now. 

Twilight quickly fixed her mane with her magic and flung the door open. “I’ll need to see what this is about, Spike. You stay here and don’t leave the library for anything, okay? If you think you hear trouble run down to the lab and barricade the door!” She said, barging out the bedroom door and barreling down the stairs.

“Uh-huh...” The dragon droned before falling back asleep.

Twilight rushed into her study, kicking up some loose papers as she ran. A flutter of wings and a soft ‘hoot’ signaled the arrival of Twilight’s other assistant and pet, Owlowscious. Twilight quickly sat down at her desk as the faithful owl lit a candle and fluttered it over to her side. She thanked the bird as she sat down in her comfy chair. “Ohhhh no...” she moaned. “What if the Changelings are invading again? Or if an Ursa Major is attacking Canterlot? Or maybe Discord broke out again and he’s turned Luna back into Nightmare Moon and they’ve teamed up! What if she’s dismissing me as her student?!”

She felt a feathered wing slap her in the back of the head.

Shaking it off, she nodded. “Right, probably not that last one. Thanks, Owlowscious.”

“Hoo.”

Steeling herself, Twilight held the scroll aloft in her magical aura. “No time to waste, though. The Princess obviously needs me,” she said, breaking the seal and taking in the words upon the scroll within.


My faithful student Twilight Sparkle,

I apologize for the lateness of the hour, but my sister and I are in dire need of your assistance.

Not a half hour ago, Luna called me to the balcony to inform me of a problem in her night. It appears as though there is an unidentified object hurtling through the sky at the moment, appearing to be a simple comet. My sister, however, claims that she did not plan for any comets tonight and that she is seemingly unable to control the comet’s path or to send it away. This makes the object in question particularly worrisome, as it means that some power other than my sister, and greater in strength, is likely controlling it. 

As disturbing as that thought is on its own, a more immediate concern is that the object in question is seemingly on a collision course with Equestria. While the object does not appear big enough to cause any amount of mass destruction like the asteroid that wiped out the prehistoric Mastodon race and created the badlands, it does appear to be closing in upon the position of Ponyville. It is imperative that the citizens of the village be warned and evacuated to shelter

My sister and I, as well as Captain Shining Armor and a contingent of royal guards will be coming to assist the town in this temporary evacuation. We should be there within the hour. We shall also bring the Elements of Harmony with us, just in case they are needed. Please gather the other bearers and then come and meet me outside town hall where we will explain proper evacuation procedure. Try to let as few ponies as possible know that anything is wrong until we get there. If your letters are at all accurate about how Ponyvillians react when a crisis is ahoof, then we don’t want them to know anything until we can get there. Citizens screaming and running around in circles will only impede evacuation and make it more likely somepony won’t get out and will get hurt or worse.

Touchdown is estimated to be in three hours. I will be arriving soon.

Your loving mentor, 

Princess Celestia.


* * *



Gathering the element bearers had been mostly quick and painless. Twilight followed the letter as best she could, bringing a still-sleeping Spike, basket and all, out to Town Hall where she laid him down on the porch. From there, it was little trouble to gather up Rarity and Pinkie Pie from the nearby Carousel Boutique and Sugarcube Corner respectively. The Cakes, Sweetie Belle, Gummy, and Opalescence all came with them and went off to meet Spike at the city square while the trio of friends went to get Rainbow Dash. The stunt flier posed a little bit of a problem when they couldn’t wake her up, but luckily, Owlowscious had been tagging along and managed to fly up to her cloud house, where he proceeded to peck at the back of her scalp until she begrudgingly woke up. Owlowscious helped Tank get back to Town Hall for evacuation and Rainbow Dash, when she heard of the situation, quickly zipped over to Fluttershy’s cottage to collect the butter yellow animal caretaker. As Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash got Angel Bunny to lead all of her critters over to a safehouse that they all built in case of monster attacks, Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity ran over to Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully, the Apple family was used to early mornings and was easy to rouse. Little Scootaloo, who had been sleeping over with Apple Bloom, however, slept like a rock, and Big Macintosh ended up cantering back to Town Hall with a sleeping orange pegasus draped over his withers. It was just as the group all met at the city center that the Princesses and the Royal guard showed up.

With the guiding hoof of the royal pony sisters and their elite guard, evacuation went shockingly smoothly. There was no screaming or panicking from any citizen of Ponyville, and only a few soft mentions of ‘horror’ from Lily. It took merely an hour and a half to evacuate the entirety of the small country town, leaving a whole thirty minutes for the Bearers of Harmony (all adorned in their magical regalia), the Princesses, Shining Armor and the remaining guard, and Mayor Marion M. Mare to apprehensively stare at the sky, waiting for the unidentified falling object to land. The ten of them and the small contingent of guards that wasn’t busy with keeping order among the townsfolk outside the town all stood behind a magical barrier cast by Shining Armor. The small number stood there, staring up at the blackness of space, and waited.

Twilight fidgeted nervously, fiddling with her big crown thingy as she looked at her brother standing next to her. “And you’re sure, Shiny, that your barrier spell can keep the meteor from hitting us?”

Shining Armor smiled at his younger sister and ruffled her mane. “Of course I am, Twiley. I’ve only ever had one shield ever fail, and that was because my brain was being tampered with by an evil shapeshifter. I guarantee we’ll be safe.”

Luna nodded as she stood on Twilight’s other side. “And thy brother’s barrier is merely a last resort, favored Twilight. The meteor appears to be relatively small, and ‘tis unlikely that it should come down ‘pon our heads. We assure thee that the shield is merely a precaution.”

The mayor shuffled a hoof, looking resigned. “I hope it doesn’t destroy too much of the town. Ponyville has seen enough in these past couple years. I’d hate for the citizens to have to deal with a meteor destroying their homes now, after we only just got over the parasprites, Ursa Minor, Cerberus, and that one astonishingly bad week where the hydrothaumic dam blew.”

Celestia nodded to the mayor. “Madam Mayor, now as always, the crown promises to help with any damages that should befall this fair town. You don’t have to worry for your ponies’ homes. “

Meanwhile, the rest of the Bearers of Harmony were huddled together in a corner of the barrier, talking amongst themselves.

“So what do y’all think the meteor is?” Applejack asked the rest of the group. “Thing obviously ain’t natural if Princess Luna can’t control it or nuthin’.”

“Aliens.” Rainbow said with a seeming sense of finality. “Gotta be aliens.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Rainbow, darling, I’m sure there’s a more logical explanation for the object than immediately jumping to the conclusion that aliens are invading.”

Pinkie Pie piped up, “Yeah! The aliens probably aren’t invading! I bet they’re coming to invite us all to a giant intergalactic SPACE PARTY!!”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow at the pink party pony. “Somehow, that seems even less likely...” she muttered under her breath.

“I dunno, Rares.” Applejack scratched the back of her head with her hoof. “I reckon it could be aliens. I mean, after all, Princess Luna can’t control whatever it is, an’ it’s coming in for a landing right in the middle of a rural country town.” Applejack shuddered. “Sounds like most alien stories t’me.”

Rainbow grinned evilly. “Yep, sure does. And of course, you know what happens when the aliens invade, right, Applejack?”

“Don’t you start, Rainbow.” Applejack growled.

Rainbow’s grin seemed to grow even wider, like it was threatening to split her face asunder. “They scoop up innocent ponies into their ship and fly away. Far... FAR away from Equestria.”

“Rainbow...” Applejack started pawing at the ground.

“And then... the probing begi-” Rainbow Dash didn’t have time to finish her statement, as she was suddenly tackled to the ground by the orange farmpony, intent on beating her feathered flank into the ground. Thankfully, Applejack was lifted off of Rainbow Dash before she could do any real damage by a white magical aura.

“Alright, that’s enough!” Rarity said firmly. Rainbow Dash proceeded to roll around on the ground, laughing. “Applejack, what has gotten into you?!”

“Applejack is afraid of aliens.” Came a soft, gentle voice. The other ponies all turned to see Fluttershy, standing there with her face partially hidden behind her mane. The animal caretaker had remained silent up to this point, but only now decided to interject.

Rarity cocked her head to one side. “I beg your Pardon?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Ever since she was little. She told me when we were still both just fillies. Applejack has always been afraid of being abducted by aliens.”

Rarity looked to the farmpony, who was kicking at the dirt sheepishly, hiding her face under her hat. “Is this true, Applejack?”

AJ sighed. “Y’all got me. I know it’s a silly thing to be afraid of, but ever since I read one o’ them science-fiction books for summer-reading. There was a nasty scene in the book when a little filly livin’ on a farm got pulled into a spaceship and was experimented on by the evil aliens. It’s why I sometimes get so jumpy around the farm at night.”

Pinkie Pie suddenly jumped in and pulled Applejack into a hug. “Awww... AJ, there’s no reason to be scared! After all, we’re here to help you, right girls?”

“Absolutely” Rarity nodded. “That assumes, of course, that we’re dealing with aliens at all, though. Frankly, that seems a little far-fetched to me.”

Rainbow got up off the ground. “Hey, you know I was just pulling your tail, right AJ?” She did a little flip in mid-air. “I mean, no alien is tough enough to stand up to the likes of us! You gotta know that, right?”

Applejack sighed. “Yeah, Ah know. Don’t make me any less nervous, though.”

Fluttershy nuzzled up to Applejack. “It’s okay, AJ. I’m nervous too. We all are.” She backed away a bit with a smile. “But as long as we stick together we’ll get through everything alright, right?”

Applejack nodded, straightening her Stetson. “Right!”

The five mares pulled each other into a group hug, when a cry came out from nearby.

“INCOMING!” one of the guards suddenly shouted, pointing into the sky. All the ponies present immediately stopped what they were doing to look into the sky where the soldier was pointing and collectively gasped.

It really was a sight to behold. The falling object came screaming out of the inky blackness of the sky leaving a trail of blue fire in its wake. Hurtling out of the night at a speed which would put Rainbow Dash to shame, the foreboding falling asteroid spelled doom for anypony that dared stand in its way when it came in to land.

And it was coming right for them.

“Merely a precaution...” Celestia muttered to her sister out of the corner of her mouth. The night princess rolled her eyes.

“Typical,” Shining Armor muttered under his breath. “Hold onto your hooves everypony!” the Captain of the Guard called out to the group. “It’s going to get noisy!” he shouted as his horn glowed brighter, the shield around the group suddenly illuminating even brighter with a neon purple glare. Twilight stepped into line behind him and poured some of her own power into the shield as well, Celestia and Luna following suit.

The rest of the ponies all gathered together in a corner as they watched the falling space rock come closer and closer by the second, growing in size until it nearly filled their vision completely. The flaming juggernaut was at least the size of the Ponyville town hall, as it came in to a crashing stop right atop the group.

KA-THOOOM!!

Unstoppable force met immovable object as the fiery stone crashed into the barrier. Though all the ponies were safely sealed in Shining Armor’s magic barrier, the force of the impact sent the group of ponies tumbling back at least a hundred feet, knocking all of them off their hooves; all save for the captain of the guard himself, who was sent skidding back. His hooves dug trenches into the earth, never once leaving the ground. The captain held fast, pouring all his energy into keeping the shield up and his friends and family safe. He was the world’s greatest barrier mage. No mere rock from the sky was going to get through his shield. Not this day.

Eventually, the force of the impact waned and the giant stone fell to the ground before them. It lay on the ground, smoking, as Shining armor dropped his shield. The stallion panted, wiping a layer of sweat off his brow, and turning to face the rest of the party. All of the ponies, even the princesses and his sister were climbing to their hooves, groaning from exertion and the tumble that they had just experienced. Shining shot them all a grin.

“Well, that wasn’t such a bother, now was it?” he laughed.

Twilight swatted him.



* * *



With the danger passed and the alien object thoroughly scanned for anything particularly harmful, the citizens of Ponyville were quickly ushered back into their homes. Some of them grumbled about being woken up so early in the morning and having to get up in a few hours, but ultimately everypony went home quietly and crawled back into their beds to get some well-deserved shuteye. Big Macintosh led the elder and younger Apples, as well as Scootaloo, back to the farmhouse. The pony pets all retreated to their respective domiciles, and other family members like Sweetie Belle or the Cakes trotted back off to bed. 

A few ponies, however, stayed behind to observe the fallen space object. Shining Armor had his guards cordon off the area just outside the Town Hall where the meteor had landed. While the object had been scanned for alien bacteria, viruses, or other lifeforms and had come up clean, there was still a chance that somepony could get sick from lingering radiation from space if they got too close or stayed around it for too long. Mayor Mare and her employees would probably have to do business from elsewhere for a while until they could effectively remove the rock, or at least make sure it wasn’t too radioactive. 

Along with the guards, the Princesses also remained behind to make sure that everything in the town was running smoothly once more. Not to mention the fact that Luna was particularly curious as to what the object that defiled her precious night might be. 

With them also remained the bearers of harmony, now relieved of their respective elements. They had all been told they were allowed to go home anytime they wanted, however Twilight insisted that she stay to help analyze and research the strange object, and none of the other bearers wanted to leave her alone. Whether to support her, or simply to make sure she didn’t go too crazy over her new study, they wished to be near her.

As the guards finished setting up the cordon, Shining Armor trotted over to where Luna and Twilight were scrutinizing the space rock. “Anything seem dangerous?” he asked.

Luna shook her head. “Nay, the radiation levels seem normal. To be safe, though, we would ask that ye keep the area roped off, lest this great stone have any more surprises.”

Twilight tapped at the space rock with a hoof. “It really is incredible, Shiny!” she said, beckoning her friends and her brother over. “I mean, there’s just so much that’s impossible about it just from a glance!”

The six ponies she had beckoned over all looked between one another, confused. Applejack finally spoke up. “Ah, Twi? I don’t mean to sound like a fool or nothing, but it looks like a rock to me. Space rock or not, ain’t nothing so impossible about it from my point of view.”

Twilight sighed. “Take a closer look, Applejack.” She said, motioning for everypony to gather around the rock. “First of all, simply look at it.” They all did. “Notice how reflective it is? Not to mention how smooth and flawless its surface is? How could anything be in such a pristine state after bouncing around through the harsh conditions of space for millennia and then alighting upon entry into our atmosphere?”

The gathered ponies nodded. She was right. They could all see their faces in the reflection of the big black stone. And just as she said, the faces of the stone were flawless. It looked somewhat like the great crystals from the abandoned mine underneath Canterlot, except an inky void of opaque black rather than an iridescent, translucent green.

“What’s more,” Twilight went on, “Is that whatever it’s made out of is incredibly solid. It looks like it might be made of obsidian, except that obsidian is a flimsy stone that breaks easily, hence why it is sometimes referred to as ‘volcanic glass,’” She said, giving the stone a good kick as a demonstration. “This stone, however, stayed completely intact, without a single scratch or chip, when it impacted with Shining Armor’s shield after falling from space! Whatever this is, it’s obviously tougher than any known matter in Equestria!” Twilight made a noise somewhere between a squeal and a giggle, prancing a little in place. “Whatever it is, it’s made of a completely unknown material!”

“My word!” Rarity said, eyeing the stone like a hungry manticore all of a sudden. “That is interesting, Twilight...” Her mind started to swirl with thoughts of jewelry and trinkets hewn from the mysterious rock, but she was snapped out of her reverie by Twilight piping up once more.

“But that’s not even the most interesting part!” Twilight said, suddenly grabbing Fluttershy’s hoof. The yellow pegasus let out an ‘eep!’ but didn’t resist. “Here, feel it!”

The assembled ponies all reached out and felt the object. It was cool to the touch.

“...it’s smooth?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, Rainbow. It’s smoother than anything not cut with magical machinery has any right to be. But while that is a notable anomaly, I meant its temperature!”

“What about it?” Applejack asked. “Feels nice and cool to me!”

“Exactly!” Twilight practically squeed. “Something that fell from space like that should be absolutely scalding!” she pointed out. “After falling through the atmosphere at terminal velocity, it should have heated up the atmosphere so much that it caught fire! This thing should be thousands of degrees hot right now! And yet it’s as cool as any stone you might pick up out of a riverbed!”

“So... um... what does all this mean?” Fluttershy asked softly.

Twilight clapped her hooves. “It means we’ve got a mystery on our hooves! One that defies all known laws of science, both arcane and mundane! One that I, Twilight Sparkle, intend to solve!”

“Hark!” Luna suddenly called from the other side of the fallen stone. “Prithee, fellows, come hither!

Practically bouncing with glee, Twilight rushed to the other side of the stone, the other six ponies in tow. Celestia, too, appeared from behind Town Hall and glided over to her sister. “What is it, Princess?” Twilight asked curiously. “Did you find something?”

“Indeed!” Luna shouted triumphantly, her horn suddenly lighting aglow with ebony magic. Her aura suddenly appeared around the several-ton stone, lodged in the ground. “Behold!” she bellowed as the massive monolith suddenly rose out of the ground, not an ounce of strain appearing upon Luna’s face, as it was effortlessly lifted ten feet into the air. Luna rotated it with her powerful telekinesis, forcing the great stone to stand up lengthwise, revealing intricately carved columns of vertical glyphs etched all over one of the faces of the massive rock.

Twilight gasped. “A script of some sort!” She said, looking as if she was going to burst.

Pinkie cocked her head. “It’s a big rock and all, but if that’s the script it must be a pretty short play.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “No, dear. She means there’s writing on it.”

“Indeed...” Celestia mused, standing behind the rest of the ponies, a pensive look on her face. “But what could it say? Obviously something of great power sent it here if my sister was unable to influence it. I worry for what this could mean for Equestria.”

“Well...” Twilight began. “I doubt it’s anything too terrible,” She mused. “This doesn’t seem the sort of thing that would be a precursor to an invasion or anything like that. Why would an invading force warn us ahead of time? Not to mention that fact that this is the only thing that Luna sensed out of order in her night sky, right Princess?” She asked the midnight alicorn.

“This is true.” Luna agreed with a nod.

The purple unicorn proceeded. “And frankly, given the script upon it and the fact that it landed in an area so close to Canterlot, I might hypothesize that it’s been sent with intent to reach you, Princesses. Something out there might be trying to contact you... or perhaps us, the bearers of harmony, given that it’s landed in Ponyville. Granted this is all speculation. I can’t say anything for sure until we read it.” She said, addressing the two royals. “With your permission, Princess, I’d like to cast a written translation spell upon the script.”

Luna cocked an eyebrow, looking back and forth between her sister and the scholarly unicorn. “We... are not sure this is wise, Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps after more investigation, but there are some things in this vast universe not meant to be gazed upon by mortal eyes.”

Twilight wilted, but perked up as her mentor spoke. “On the other hand, Luna...” Celestia said, addressing her sister. “Twilight makes a point that the situations surrounding the stone’s arrival do not seem to have sinister motives. And what may be contained in the message may be of dire importance.”

Luna cocked an eyebrow. “Thou thinkest it wise to charge into this blindly, sister?”

“I thinkest- AHEM!” Celestia coughed, excusing herself. “I think that I trust my student’s instincts.” The sun princess said calmly. “The guards have turned up nothing sinister about the stone’s makeup or found anything suspicious about its composition. There is no trace of infection or radiation upon it. And though the circumstances of its arrival were flashy, they do not seem to herald anything too malevolent. I doubt that a single written translation spell will do much harm. As far as my own senses can tell, it is merely an odd rock.”

“...very well.” Luna said, softly, turning to the purple unicorn. “You may proceed with your spell, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yes!” Twilight cheered, hoofpumping for a little bit, before suddenly remembering the company she was keeping and taking on a sheepish smile.

Luna ushered Celestia away from the group for a moment with a wing. They walked a few paces before Luna started whispering to Celestia. “Are you sure this is the right course of action, sister?” she asked. “We know so little about this object and you let your student poke it with a stick?”

Celestia shook her head and chuckled. “Sister, you needn’t raise such a fuss. Twilight is the brightest unicorn I’ve met in centuries. She knows what she’s doing.” She hugged Luna closer to her with a wing. “You worry too much. The constant dangers that were always right outside our doors a thousand years ago are far gone now. The world has become a much safer place.”

The night princess looked away from her sister out of the corner of her eye. “You seem to forget, Celestia, that this thing is not from our world.”

Meanwhile, as the royal sisters stepped away to talk, Twilight stood in front of the large space rock her horn pointed at the alien script, her body in a wide stance. “Alright, stand back, everypony. I’m going to cast Dusty Tomes’ enchantment of Free Translation!”

“What does that do?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Shining Armor piped up. “It’s a basic level spell that translates script the caster cannot read into the language the caster is most comfortable with. It’s one of the only written translation spells created, but it can sometimes be a bit... unreliable. It’ll usually get the gist of a message across, but some words can sometimes slip through a bit garbled. It’s not usually good to use if the message in question is particularly important.”

“Soooooo... It’s like a magical Babelfish?” Pinkie asked, a big grin on her face.

Shining Armor cocked his head. “Babel-what?”

Fluttershy suddenly raised a hoof, a wide smile on her face. “The babelfish is a species of magical cartilaginous fish that inhabit the Southern Pegacific ocean, in the coral reefs off of Hosstralia. Notable for being one of the only sapient fish on the planet, they’re best known for the fact that they mysteriously seem capable of understanding most spoken languages, should another sapient being attempt to talk with them. However, conversations with a babelfish can sometimes become confusing since their knowledge of our languages are imperfect at best. The babelfish, however, tend to be very friendly and accommodating to surface dwellers and have been known to go out of their way to save survivors of shipwrecks and other accidents.” She finished, only to notice everypony nearby staring at her for having said so much at once. She blushed and hid behind her mane a little.

Twilight blinked herself before smiling and shaking it off. “Thank you, Fluttershy. That was very interesting.”

Fluttershy smiled gently behind her mane.

“Anyway, yes.” Twilight continued. “That’s about how the spell works. Until we can get a better grasp on the language and get some decent linguists on the case, we won’t have a perfect understanding of exactly what the message is. However, the spell I’m casting should hopefully at least give us a starting point to work from, and the general gist of the message.” Her horn lit up and a purple glow began to encase the stone, sending violet light seeping through all the carved alien letters. “Hopefully it won’t be too garbled. Just a little more and... there!” She said, a bright white light flashing through the town square. All the ponies present covered their eyes as the light slowly faded, revealing a new message written in neon purple light, hovering in the air over the ground about an inch in front of the alien text.

“Hot damn!” Applejack exclaimed. “That’s some fancy hornwork there, Twi!” The purple unicorn blushed at the praise. “What’s it say?”

Twilight paused to skim the message a little bit before her eyes widened in happy anticipation. “It’s an invitation!” she shouted. “I think some of it may have gotten garbled, but it’s very clearly inviting somepony to some sort of event!”

“Well, out with it, Twi!” Applejack said, rolling her eyes.

The purple unicorn cleared her throat. “It reads...” she began.

Dear Champions. 

You are hereby invited to taking part in new Super Smash Brothers Event. 
This gathering of distinguished champions from across many worlds is gathering of the brightest stars in all worlds, brought together in comradeship.

The Super Smash Brothers Event will test you to limits and then be encouraging champions from many worlds to forge pacts friendly competition. The event is definite a hundred percent lockbox. The winner of the event shall receive grand prize.

We hope to see you there.

Master.

There was silence in the town square. It didn’t last long.

“CALLED IT!” Pinkie Pie squealed at the top of her lungs.

“So you did...” Rarity said, wincing at the ringing in her ears from the party pony’s outburst.

Applejack scratched her head. “So we’ve been invited to an alien hootenanny?” she shuddered. “Ain’t so sure I’m down for that.”

“Oh come on, AJ!” Rainbow shouted. “When are you going to ever get another chance to do anything like this?!”

Twilight turned to the princesses. “What do you think, your Highnesses?”

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “It was very... vague.” She mused. “Not to mention that some things were obviously lost in translation. While I’m certainly not against the idea of spreading our friendships beyond Equestria itself, this is not something to be taken lightly. I’m concerned how the spell might have mistranslated certain parts of the message and what the true intention may be.”

“They aren’t very good invitation senders.” Pinkie nodded. “No RSVP.”

Luna stepped up to the monolith. “Indeed, there is a disconcerting lack of information given to us, Pinkie Pie.” She said, trotting around the stone and taking every detail of it in. “How does one join the gathering?” She looked pointedly at the rest of the gathered ponies. “And moreover, do we want to?”

“It is something to mull over, indeed.” Celestia agreed.

Twilight had stopped paying attention to the Princesses, however, when she noticed something odd about the invitation. The runes had started glowing a bright red, rather than the purple of her magic. “Come and look at this, you guys.” She said, pointing to the strange light.

The ponies all gathered round and observed the strange glow with her. “How very odd.” Luna said. “Thy magical aura hath changed.”

As the ponies watched, the red light seemed to seep out of the runes, to the gasps of the ponies assembled, and in streams of visible light beams, started to slowly creep around the sides of the monolith. The ponies all nodded to each other and followed the light beams around the stone to the other side of the artifact, where they noticed the glow was collecting in a big pool of red light.

“What do y’all suppose that’s about?” Applejack asked.

Twilight cocked her head. “I’m not sure.” She answered. “It must have something to do with the invitation. Perhaps it’s how we’re meant to respond?”

Shining Armor spoke up. “How do you think we should proceed, your Majesties?”

Princess Celestia started to say something, but Twilight didn’t hear it. Her eyes were locked on the swirling pool of red, resting on the face of the monolith. She didn’t blink. She hardly breathed. She swore, instead of the musical voice of her mentor, she heard the whispers of dozens of strange voices in her ears. This light. This stone. It was a mystery. One she had to solve. It was her job. She was invited. She was the recipient. She was the translator. It was her job to come. It was her duty to see what lay ahead. Yes. This was her destiny.

Oblivious to what her mentor was saying, Twilight started to charge her horn with magic, readying herself to perform a spell upon the red light. Applejack and Fluttershy were the first to notice.

“Twilight, what in the hay do y’all think you’re doing?!” Applejack shouted

“Twilight, stop!” Fluttershy shouted simultaneously.

Twilight didn’t listen. She couldn’t even hear them. Her hearing was drowned out by all the voices. Just as she felt her two friends tackle her to the ground, her spell released. Suddenly snapped out of her reverie, she noticed what she had done. Her violet spell collided with the red glow, causing the light to spin out of control, growing larger and larger. The spell crackled with energy, lightning arcing from the intense bright red void, striking all over the town square. The monolith shuddered as a deep crimson portal opened up in the rocky face.

“Twilight!” Princess Celestia cried.

“Princess-!” Twilight started to cry back, only to be cut off. A gigantic burst of lightning shot out of the portal and struck her, along with Applejack and Fluttershy who were still sprawled atop her. The three mares screamed and convulsed with the strike, as the portal suddenly began to emit a powerful pull. 

Like a black hole, the portal started to draw everypony in the square towards it. Most of the ponies were capable of defending against it. Rainbow grabbed onto a nearby flagpole while Rarity grabbed onto a tree for support. The princesses used their considerable strength to stand their ground against the gravity well.  Shining Armor cast a barrier around himself and Pinkie Pie, but after his earlier exertion could not manage to extend his shield any further. That left three stunned forms alone before the void.

“Twiliey!” Shining Armor shouted at his little sister.

Twilight managed to regain consciousness for just a moment, her eyes widening before she, Applejack, and Fluttershy were suddenly drawn into the void, a scream only barely passing her lips before she vanished, the portal closing the moment she and her two friends disappeared from sight.

And then all was still in the town square.



* * *



Another time...
Another place...

A deep red portal suddenly opened up over a marble floor. It crackled for a moment before three little ponies suddenly spilled out of it. All of them looked worse for wear, tired and disoriented. Applejack stood up, only to retch all of her stomach contents all over the floor.

“Oh my...” Fluttershy whimpered, clutching her aching head. “What was that?”

“Not sure...” Twilight whined. “I don’t know what came over me. There was this... feeling.”

“Whoa nelly.” Applejack muttered. “I feel like a stampede just ran over me.”

The three of them lay there for a few seconds in a tangle of limbs, their vision blurry when they tried to open their eyes. Suddenly the three of them heard a deep voice chuckling in front of them.

“Heh heh...” The low, guttural voice growled. “Looks like the new blood didn’t enjoy the trip.”

The three ponies squeaked in alarm, scrabbling back. Twilight rubbed her eyes, quickly clearing up her vision. She looked up, only to gasp at what she saw. What could only be described as a giant, monstrous bipedal turtle stood in front of them. He had a fiery red shock of red hair atop his dinosaur-like head, a patch of green scales framing his red eyes, and a yellow muzzle outlining rows of razor sharp fangs. He wore black, spiked collars around his limbs and neck, his paws ending in deadly claws. His tail ended in nasty looking barbs, and his shell was armored and covered in even larger spikes.  He grinned down at them sinisterly.

“Welcome to hell, girlies.”

> Ch1: Stranded in the Acropolis
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 (A/N: This story effectively takes place in an AU, after the events of issue 4 of the MLP comic book, but does not recognize any events of Season 3 onward. Reading issues 1-4 of the comic will only help, but are not required.)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 1: Stranded in the Acropolis



The three little ponies were trapped. Behind them, the portal had closed up leaving their backs to the polished stone wall. In front of them, the monster loomed over their heads. The great beast’s maw opened wide as he let out a deep, evil roar of a belly laugh.

Applejack leaped into action. Twilight and Fluttershy remained on the ground in a tangle. “Applejack, don’t-” Twilight tried to say, but a sudden pang of pain lanced through her spent horn, sending her to the ground in a wave of dizziness.

“Don’t worry gals, I got this one.” Applejack said, pawing at the ground with her hoof. She snorted a puff of air, ready to charge.

The monster flashed a razor-toothed grin. “Oh, how cute. Looking to start a fight already, pretty pony?”

“Ain’t starting nothing.” Applejack growled. “But if’n y’all are gonna threaten my friends, I’m sure as sugar not gonna let ya get to ‘em.”

“Adorable” The monster growled, still holding his smug grin.

Applejack charged straight at the monster, hoping to catch it off guard in the middle of its gloating. She didn’t quite get the reaction she wanted. The monster opened its maw and released a gout of flame from deep within its belly, heating the floor to a bright, glowing orange. Applejack yelped and skidded to a halt, stopping just short of the superheated stone and flame.

The monster laughed his scratchy, feral sounding laugh. He took a great step forward, advancing upon the ponies.

“Away with you, cur!”

The voice came from around a corner, ringing with a familiar feeling power. “Princess Luna?!” Twilight whispered, disbelieving.

All four figures turned their heads to see another strange, bipedal being come up a staircase and step towards them. This one was decidedly different from the monster, however. From the voice, she sounded female, and she somewhat resembled the body shape of a slim, female minotaur, save for the face which was flat with an odd, triangular shaped nose. She had a mane of long brown hair, but was completely hairless everywhere else on her body. Her eyes were dark blue, and her ears ended in sharp points. Upon her head, she wore a tiara shaped to look as though it were made of golden leaves, with a sapphire jewel in the middle of the forehead. Her arms ended in five slim fingers, as opposed to a minotaur’s thick, sausage-like four, and they were covered by ornate silk gloves. She wore a purple, flowing dress decorated with golden designs and a white skirt with glyphs reminiscent of a great bird and three triangles running down the front.

Twilight’s head drooped. It had obviously been too much to think they’d been rescued.

The strange being sauntered up to the monster, not the slightest shred of fear showing in her eyes. “Bowser...” she spoke, disapprovingly. “Making sport with the newcomers again?” She shook her head. “You never cease to disgust.”

The monster rolled its eyes. “Zelda” It greeted in a bored tone. “Nice to see you again.”

“Let us not mince words, Bowser. Neither of us are glad to see each other.” She jabbed a finger at the gathered ponies. “Do not trouble these young competitors and go make your mischief another place.”

“I was just giving them a bit of a scare, your royal prudishness.” The monster known as Bowser said with an annoyed grunt. “All in good fun.”

The one called Zelda scowled. “The ways in which you make merry are repugnant and impertinent, Bowser.” She waved a hand at him sharply. “Now begone. I believe that the loathsome troll Wario and his gangling brother wished to speak with you.”

The monster narrowed its eyes, staring down the noble Zelda, but eventually he snorted, turned around and stomped down the hallway away from the ponies and noblewoman.

As soon as he was gone from sight, the one called Zelda let out a breath the ponies hadn’t realized she’d been holding. The three of them however, still felt ill at ease. Twilight untangled herself from Fluttershy and stood next to Applejack, horn at the ready, though she still felt drained from her encounter with the portal. Fluttershy remained behind the two of them, trembling from the encounter.

Zelda turned to them and sighed. “I deeply apologize that he was the first one you met upon your arrival. He’s almost harmless, actually. Really, little more than a big schoolyard bully. Nevertheless, I doubt he’s left a good first impression of this place upon you all.”

“You could say that...” Twilight said cautiously. “Who are you? Where are we?”

“My name is Zelda, High Princess of the land of Hyrule.” The noblewoman bowed, placing a hand upon her chest. “And I apologize if I frighten you. I too was intimidated the first time I came here.” She smiled softly. “The Master has never been particularly specific about what sorts of people one will associate with when they accept his invitation.” She spread her arms in a welcoming gesture. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss...?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” the lavender unicorn said, standing up slowly, her muscles still coiled and tense. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends Applejack...”

“...Howdy” AJ said, giving Zelda a suspicious glare,

“...and Fluttershy.” Twilight finished.

“eep.” The pegasus squeaked, hiding behind her mane.

The princess smiled coolly, motioning for Twilight and the others to follow her. She led the three ponies up to a railing and made a grand sweeping gesture. “Then it is my honor, Twilight Sparkle, to welcome you and your friends to The Acropolis.”

The three ponies gasped as they looked upon the structure below them. They stood upon a marble, wrap-around catwalk, overlooking a grand meeting hall, surrounded by columns that looked to be Pegasopolian in origin. The entire structure appeared to be made of polished white and green marble, the walls and floor reflecting anything that stood upon it. Set into the floor was a silver design, appearing to be a circle with a cross through one corner. Above them rose a grand vaulted ceiling made of the same polished marble but inlaid with mosaics of grand deeds of heroism unknown to the little ponies. Similar depictions of heroism could be seen in paintings and tapestries along the walls.

And down below them in the meeting hall, creatures of all shapes and sizes gathered, all chatting, bickering, laughing, and connecting with one another.

Twilight stared, transfixed at the sight of so many alien beings before her. There had to be at least forty-five creatures, unlike anything she had ever seen in the meeting hall below them. Her eyes flitted from being to being madly, taking everything that she could in. Most of them appeared to have a similar shape and body structure to Zelda; something like a slim, hairless minotaur with flat faces and prominent noses. There was, however, a fair amount of variety among the collection. A green dinosaur with a red shell and a long tongue. A big brown ape wearing a necktie. An emaciated looking purple dragon. A yellow mouse with long ears and red cheeks. A fox that walked on two legs. A pink puffball. A yellow starfish-looking thing. One being was all black and even looked to be two-dimensional!

It was too much for Twilight to take in. Here she was, standing among beings that, if the inscriptions upon the stone were correct, were from totally alien worlds. Her mind was sent into dizzy fits thinking about everything she could learn from these creatures just from a few minutes of observation. She didn’t even know where to begin.

Fluttershy and Applejack, on the other hand, seemed to be far less enthused than she.

“Nope!” Applejack shouted, backing away from the railing. “Nope nope nope! I can’t do this! Just nope! Noping all the way back to Equestria! Jes’ massive amounts of nope for lil ol’ me!”

“AJ?” Twilight asked, astonished at her friend’s behavior. “What is the matter with you?”

“Indeed,” Zelda asked the farmpony, curiously. “What troubles you, Miss Applejack?”

Applejack stared pointedly at her unicorn friend. “Twilight, there comes a point in every mare’s life when she must plant her plot down and “Nope.” I’ve reached that point.”

“You’re not making any sense, Applejack,” Twilight stated, a frown creasing her face.

“...Applejack is scared of aliens remember?” Fluttershy said softly, hiding behind her farmpony friend. “A-and frankly, I’m not sure I want to stay here any longer either. My animals will be needing me and it’s Spa day with Rarity tomorrow and I think I see a dragon down there and-”

Princess Zelda raised a hand, clearing her throat. “I’m afraid, Miss Applejack and Miss Fluttershy, that going back to your home will be wholly impossible for the time being,” she said, looking puzzled. “Until the tournament is over, the portals to all our homes remain shut. Until such time, we are all to remain here.”

“WHAT?!” All three ponies shouted at once.

“There is no need to shout,” Zelda said, disapprovingly. “Only the Master can open the portals once again, and he shall not be inclined to until his tournament is finished.”

“That ain’t gonna fly, missy!” Applejack barked. “Y’all get yer ‘Master’ down here right now so I can give him a right proper talking to, and maybe a nice hoof to the face while I’m at it!”

Zelda held her hands up. “That would be a most foolhardy thing to do, Miss Applejack. The Master would surely look ill upon such actions, and I would not advise you find yourself on the end of his wrath.”

“B-but I can’t stay here!” Fluttershy wailed. “My animals... oh no!”

“And as fascinating as this all is, I have to get back to Ponyville too.” Twilight chimed in. “I hate to pass up learning from all these folks here, but Princess Celestia and my friends are all probably worried sick about us!”

“Silence!” Zelda snapped, a flash of light blasting from her hands and her eyes suddenly alight. All three ponies suddenly shut up, Twilight and AJ getting ready for a potential fight while Fluttershy ducked behind a column. The strange Princess glared at the three of them. “What is the matter with you three?!” She snapped before any of them could say anything. “If you were all so frightened of coming to meet beings from other worlds and to leave your own behind, then why would you answer the Master’s invitation in the first place?!”

“I...” Twilight stammered. “We didn’t!” she shouted. “The meteor- the invitation- did something to my magic! I didn’t mean to answer it at all until we knew what it was we were getting into!” She stamped a hoof. “We didn’t even figure out what everything on the invitation said before we were teleported here! The translation barely made any sense!” Twilight collapsed to the floor and covered her head with her hooves in frustrated exhaustion. “Oh, this is a hell of a mess we’ve gotten ourselves into this time...”

The noblewoman stared at the three ponies, stunned. “This should not be...” she whispered under her breath. “You knew not what the invitation said and it still let you through? And it did so by force?” she asked them, bewildered.

The ponies all nodded at her solemnly. Zelda tapped a finger to her chin, crossing one arm under the other. “How curious. Such a thing has never occurred before to my knowledge.” She looked at all three of them pityingly. “Well then no wonder the three of you are so alarmed. You never anticipated being whisked away in the first place!” She said, bowing her head. “I deeply apologize for losing my temper then, fair Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy. I should not have been so cross.”

“It’s... it’s fine.” Twilight stammered. “But maybe that means a mistake was made? Maybe you can call your Master and get him to send us home then? At least until we’re ready?”

Zelda shook her head. “I doubt it. If the Master truly brought you here by force before you even knew what was to occur rather than by informed choice as he always did the rest of us, then surely he must want you here more than anybody else. I can see no other reason you would ever be here in such an unprepared state.”

None of the ponies took the news well. Twilight sighed, bowing her head between her hooves. Applejack shook her head and started pacing and mumbling to herself, and Fluttershy simply curled into a ball and started shivering.

Zelda looked sorrowfully between each of them before sighing. “Come with me,” She said softly. “I shall introduce you to the greatest of our number. He will not be able to send you back, but perhaps he may be capable of sharing some insight with you.” She smiled faintly, motioning for the three of them to follow her down the stairs from the catwalk to the main meeting hall. “If nothing else, he should be able to explain what is going on to you properly and get the three of you situated.”

“I still ain’t ready to go down there with all them aliens.” Applejack said, warily.

Zelda retained a neutral look, shaking her head. “You have it on my honor as Princess of Hyrule that no harm shall come to you here. In fact it is quite impossible. The one you shall meet can explain more.”

Applejack looked to her unicorn friend. “Twilight?” she asked.

Twilight stared between her friends for a moment, and then looked at Zelda. Then she turned to look over the railing again at the multitude of beings all communing in the meeting hall. She sighed and shook her head. “I guess we don’t have much of a choice. At least until we find this Master pony. Maybe then we can convince him to send us back home.” She looked back at her friends. “Until then, I guess getting a proper explanation about what’s going on is the best thing to do.”

Applejack huffed, adjusting her hat. “Fine... but I don’t like it.” She turned to her yellow pegasus friend. “C’mon Fluttershy. We’re getting some answers.” She said trotting up behind Zelda, still eyeing the Princess warily.

“O-okay.” Fluttershy squeaked, uncurling from her ball and following behind her orange friend.

Twilight stared over the railing for a moment more before following as well.



* * *



The blue pheasant leaned against a column coolly, a cigarette in his mouth and a glass of hard cider in his feathered hand. Falco Lombardi was certainly no greenhorn when it came to Smash Brothers tournaments. He’d been a regular since the second one, after all. Still, it never ceased to surprise him what some of the other contestants could manage. It had almost completely blown his mind when the new kid with the silly red hat pulled a notebook out of his backpack and started making things appear out of thin air.

Not that he’d ever let anybody know he was impressed, of course. He was, after all, the best of the best, and he had a reputation to consider. Still, while he tended to hide it, he did genuinely find most of the other contestants at these tournaments remarkable.

But Falco couldn’t help but snigger at the three latest newcomers he saw making their way down the catwalk stairs behind Princess Zelda.

“Hey...” he chuckled, elbowing a buddy of his in a princely royal blue cape and outfit with long blue hair. The Prince of Altea known as Marth looked up from his wine at his feathered friend. The mercenary gestured towards the stairs where Zelda and the three ponies were descending.

“...Is that a three-foot purple unicorn?” The prince asked, incredulous.

“And a yellow pegasus and an orange pony in a cowboy hat.” Falco sniggered.

Marth rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Falco, don’t go making the same mistake you did with Meta Knight. You remember how that turned out.”

“I’m not, it’s just...” He chuckled, motioning at them. “Look at them!”

Marth cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, because they’re obviously so ridiculous for our company. Far more absurd than the likes of Kirby or Olimar.”

“But they’re ponies!” Falco cackled, spilling his drink a little. “Little colorful ponies that barely come up to the knee with horns and wings and little hats! How do you expect me to think something like that can put up a decent fight?”

The prince smirked. “I seem to recall you saying something similar when you went up against that kid’s Squirtle last time. You were hacking up water for days.”

“Whatever, man.” Falco waved the prince off, taking a drag from his cigarette. “I’m not gonna let something like that happen again. Just you watch.”



* * *



“Oh my, aren’t they adorable?”

The blue fox woman held a paw to her muzzle, stifling a small giggle as she watched the three little ponies follow Princess Zelda through the crowd. The Cerinian vixen known as Krystal could hardly tear her eyes away from the little creatures. Tapping the shoulder next to her, she got the attention of her beau. “Fox? Fox, dearie?”

Fox McCloud, commander of the Starfox mercenary group, turned away from a conversation he’d been having with a woman in futuristic orange armor. “What is it, Krys?” he asked.

“Do you recognize those three?” Krystal asked, pointing to the three ponies being led through the pack.

Fox looked to where she pointed. “No, I can’t say I do. They’re newcomers, certainly.” He looked around the crowd. “We should ask around and see if anyone knows who they are. They look like they could be from a number of previously contacted worlds.” The vulpine commander scanned the crowd for a moment before calling out a name. “Hey, Kirby!”

A little pink puffball momentarily ceased his assault upon the buffet table to answer. Locating Fox, he gave an animated wave to his furry friend. “Hiiiiiii~!”

Fox pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the ponies. “You recognize those three ponies, Kirbs?”

Kirby tapped his little mouth a bit, then took in a great puff of air, puffing his cheeks out like a balloon. The puffball quickly floated up into the air over the crowd. Quickly finding the ponies Fox was referring to, he let loose the air he was holding in and fell to the ground at Fox’s feet. Righting himself, he shook his head ‘no’ enthusiastically, then scampered back off to the buffet table.

“Drat.” Fox shrugged. “Looked like they coulda been from Dreamland. They’re certainly cute enough.”

“Perhaps that ‘trainer’ woman knows.” Krystal tapped her chin, before locating the person in question. “Excuse me,” she called out, “Miss... Leaf, is it?”

A young girl in a white hat, red skirt, and blue tank top turned to look at her, her long brown hair fluttering a little. The Pokémon trainer called Leaf looked taken aback for a split second at Krystal’s bestial appearance, but shook it off quickly, remembering where she was. “That’s my name, don’t wear it out!” she twittered. “Krystal, right?”

“Yes, a pleasure.” Krystal nodded, extending her hand. The two of them shook hands quickly, before Krystal turned the girl’s attention to the three little ponies. “Do you recognize those three? Are they some of these... Pokémon... that your world hosts?”

Leaf cocked a head, looking at the three ponies being led through the crowd. “No Pokémon that I recognize.” The girl said, pulling out a little red device.

“NO POKEMON DATA FOUND” the Pokédex chirped.

The girl shook her head. “Nope.” Leaf said definitively. “If they’re Pokémon, then they aren’t any that have been catalogued yet, but even then it should have given me a type readout and movelist, so I doubt it.”

Fox hummed a little. “And nothing like them showed up as assist constructs last time, so there’s no way to look them up in that database...”

Leaf shrugged. “Maybe they’re from Starfy’s world?”

Fox waved her off. “Nah. They don’t look aquatic enough.”

“Perhaps they’re simply from a new world?” Krystal asked. “You said that nobody had met that Belmont fellow before this point.”

Her lover scratched his head. “Well... maybe. But if they’re from a new world then that’s a lot of fighters their world has for one only just joining. Most of the time a newly joining world will only have one representative sent to Smashworld the first time they come in contact. Only a few exceptions come to mind. Mario and Luigi were sent the first time, as well as Pikachu and Jigglypuff. And Marth and that Roy kid were both sent the second time around, but aside from those three times, a new world usually only sends one rep.” he shrugged. “And in all those cases, only two reps were sent. Getting three fighters for a brand new world is unheard of.”

“Would that be a problem or something?” Leaf asked, cocking her head.

Fox shrugged. “I guess not. I suppose I’m just not comfortable with a lot of new people coming in I know nothing about from who knows where that might grab the prize.” He shook his head. “We’ve been obscenely lucky that nothing disastrous has happened so far, given what happened the last two times. I don’t want to leave anything up to chance.”



* * *



Twilight looked around warily as Zelda led the three of them through the crowd of colorful characters. The little pony couldn’t help but shrink into herself as she saw everybody’s eyes upon her and her friends. She wondered if this was what Fluttershy felt like every day. She turned around to look at the butter colored pegasus to see that, yes, she was definitely feeling similarly.

The three ponies were just barely keeping any semblance of calm, all of them on the verge of outright panic. The only thing that kept Twilight from downright freaking out was the fact that, while everybody’s gaze seemed to be upon them, few of the gazes were particularly hostile. A couple of them were, though. The turtle monster called Bowser was among the crowd, and he wasn’t looking particularly friendly at that moment. Neither was the skinny purple dragon nor the strange, green-skinned man with a red mane. She was also particularly unnerved by a blond man dressed in a militaristic-looking outfit with electrical scars all over his face, looking at her with an evil, lopsided grin. She shivered and averted her eyes to the other side of the crowd, only to see a redheaded woman in pirate garb, a strange creature in glasses and a blue robe flying on a broomstick, and a man with a short-cut manestyle in a pinstripe suit all measuring her up. She opted to try and ignore the crowd around her and focus upon following Zelda.

‘Keep it together, Sparkle,’ Twilight thought. ‘We’ll talk to Zelda’s leader and he’ll get this Master thingy to send us home. No muss no fuss. We’ll regroup, tell Celestia what’s going on, and maybe she can send some diplomats and guards to this event to do the whole “friendship across worlds” symposium... event... thing.’ She shook her head. ‘After all, I may be the element of magic, but I’m certainly not qualified to represent all of Equestria in something like this. Even if it IS a fascinating opportunity for research.’

“Ah, there he is.” Zelda said, looking across the room. Twilight followed her gaze to the corner of the great hall, where there stood a young blond man with pointed ears dressed in green making some odd motions with his hands. He looked a strong, courageous, heroic sort and even from a distance it was obvious he carried himself with a certain measure of dignity. He certainly looked like one who might lead such a bunch.

“The fella with the pointy green hat?” Applejack asked.

Zelda scowled at the figure before giving a small huff. “No, not him. Behind him.”

The ponies watched as the young man in green soon moved out of the way to reveal a short, pudgy man in a red shirt, a cap with a stylized letter M stitched onto it, and overalls. Perhaps most prominent about him, though, were his striking blue eyes and his incredibly prominent black, bushy moustache over a great big grin. All in all, he looked like a carpenter or something.

Twilight blinked. “...That’s your leader?”

“He is a true warrior. Likely the best of us all.” Zelda nodded.

“Well, um...” Fluttershy said, her voice barely audible amongst all the chatter in the hall, “He looks... nice...”

“There are few among our company as accommodating as he.” Zelda nodded. “I shall make the introductions. Wait here, if you please.” She said, striding forward, leaving the three little ponies in a small clearing amongst the crowd.

Twilight fidgeted, looking at her two companions. “You two okay?”

“Everypony is looking at us.” Fluttershy managed to squeak out, her knees shaking as she felt all the eyes in the room boring into her.

Applejack’s hackles were standing on end and her muscles were tense and coiled. “I don’t like this, Twi.” she grunted through her teeth, her eyes shifting from side to side. “We ain’t supposed to be here.”

“I know AJ,” Twilight muttered. “I want to go home too. Hopefully Zelda’s leader can make that happen.”

“...do you?” AJ whispered.

Twilight blinked. “What?”

“Do you really want to go home?” the farmpony glared out of the corner of her eye. “Y’all are sure ya don’t want to stay and learn all sorts of fancy-schmancy bookworm stuff from these here aliens?”

Twilight was taken aback. “Applejack, what are you saying? I mean, yeah, I’m intrigued. Who wouldn’t be? The things we could learn from all these creatures... it’s astronomical!” She shook her head. “But I’m not the pony for the job. That would fall to the Princesses and any chosen diplomats they wanted to bring along. Maybe if I was lucky I’d get to come, but...”

“I ain’t hearing a no...” Applejack growled.

“AJ...” Fluttershy said, attempting to place a hoof on the farmpony’s shoulder, but the orange filly jerked away.

“Why’d you go and do it, Twi?!” Applejack snarled. “What were you thinking?! We didn’t know nothing about this place and y’all just went and opened up some portal thingamajig and y’all dragged me and Fluttershy along with ya! Why would you go and do something so stupid?!” Twilight backpedaled, backing into a column as Applejack bore down on her. “We’re lucky we ain’t dead already, and from the looks of things we ain’t gonna get to go back home! We’re stuck here in this wacky Apoptosis place with things that could do who knows what to us! We’re in more danger than we’ve ever been in on account’a these here aliens and y’all are sitting here thinking about writing a book on them!”

“...stop...”

“I-I didn’t mean to open the portal!” Twilight choked out. “The meteor did something to my magic! I couldn’t stop it!”

“Oh that’s a likely story. THE Twilight Sparkle completely losing control of her magic? Don’t make me laugh.” Applejack stamped a hoof. “Y’all admit you want to study these things.”

“Who wouldn’t?!” Twilight snapped defensively.

“Stop...”

“Just because I was, and am, intellectually curious about the creatures here does not mean I’m so brain dead as to just accept an invitation from an alien world without learning more and taking proper preparations, AJ! Taking foolhardy risks is how magicians and scientists get killed!” Twilight mustered herself and stepped forward challengingly towards Applejack. “If I could take us home I would, but the portal is closed and I don’t know how to replicate it. Even if I did, I’d have no idea how to get us home, or if I’d just send us to some other world!”

“If y’all were so unprepared then why did you use your fancy magic on the rock in the first place?!”

“I told you that it did something to my magic! I couldn’t control it!”

“STOP!”

The two quarreling ponies turned to look at the butter yellow pegasus, now standing tall and scowling at the both of them. Twilight and Applejack both shrank under Fluttershy’s stare as the shy pony told them off.

“Applejack, I know you’re scared of these other creatures, but that’s no reason to take your fear out on Twilight.” Fluttershy said sternly.

“But she-” Applejack started to say, only for Fluttershy to clamp a hoof over her mouth.

“Don’t interrupt.” Fluttershy snapped. “Now I know that you’ve always been scared of aliens. I’m scared too. Everyone is looking at us and talking about us and they’re all so strange. I know how scary that is.” She tilted her head towards the purple unicorn. “But you can’t take your fear out on Twilight. It’s not her fault we’re here, or do you really and truly believe she’s lying? You are the bearer of honesty after all.”

Applejack stared at Fluttershy for a second, then looked at Twilight. They locked eyes. What felt like ten minutes of silence between them really only lasted about five seconds. Finally, Applejack sighed and bowed her head. “She ain’t lyin’.” She muttered. “Sorry, Twilight.”

“There you go.” Fluttershy said softly, turning to Twilight. “And you, Twilight. Applejack is terrified. We know you’re fascinated by what you could learn from these creatures, but could you try to be just a little more sensitive?”

“Yeah...” Twilight trailed off, turning back to the farmpony. “I get that you’re scared, AJ, but there’s really nothing I can do. Believe me, if I could send you home I would. And I wouldn’t have dragged you along if you didn’t want to come if I’d been in control.” She sighed. “I’m sorry that you ended up being pulled into the portal with me though.”

The three ponies sat in silence for a moment until Applejack spoke up.

“So what do we do now?”

Twilight shrugged. “We talk to their leader. See if he can convince this mysterious ‘Master’ to send us home, and if he can’t...” she hesitated. “If he can’t or won’t, then I guess we have to stay through whatever this function really is.” She shook her head. “I’m sure it can’t be that bad, AJ. I mean, the translation certainly wasn’t anywhere near perfect, but it sounded like just a function to share knowledge and play some friendly games. You can handle that, right?”

Applejack looked down to the floor. “I guess,” she mumbled. “Still don’t like having to deal with this. And I don’t want to be away from the farm for long. Granny Smith and Apple Bloom need me.”

“Well, maybe once you explain that to the leader he’ll be able to convince the Master to send you back at least.” Her ears perked up suddenly. “Speaking of which, heads up. I think their leader is coming to talk to us now!”



* * * MEANWHILE * * *



Zelda strode purposefully towards Mario.

The Hylian Princess shook her head. She knew, back in the recesses of her mind, that the ponies’ request was impossible. Once you were in Smashworld, you only left when the tournament was done. Indeed, people had asked before to be sent home, and they were all denied. To date, the Master had not sent anybody home before the tournament was finished, even if they were to act openly against him. That said, he’d also never really taken action to punish anybody that acted out of turn. That was left up to the other contestants. The Master was an odd sort that way, and not simply because of what he looked like.

She just didn’t have the heart to tell them that herself. The three ponies looked so terrified and distraught at apparently having been brought against their will. To tell them that they’d have to stay here for the entirety of the tournament would probably drive them over the edge. At the very least, they needed somebody who could give it to them more delicately.

She stalked up towards Mario, bluntly pushing herself in front of the man in green. The hero known as Link frowned as she pushed past him, interrupting one of his delicate hand motions to get to the red-capped plumber.

“Sir Mario, I would have words with you,” Zelda said, her voice neutral.

Mario cocked an eyebrow. “Sure Zelda, but Link and I were kinda in the middle of a-” Mario was cut off as Link held up a hand and shook his head. The hero of Twilight made a few quick, sharp motions with his fingers and hands at Mario and then at Zelda before turning on his heel and stalking off towards the buffet table, throwing a quick glare over his shoulder back at the Hylian Princess.

Zelda’s glare followed the hero as he stormed away into the crowd. The elven princess huffed and turned back to the red-capped plumber. Mario cleared his throat. “It may be none of my business, but-”

She cut him off with a hand. “No,” she said flatly, “no it isn’t. Please, Sir Mario, just drop it.”

Mario sighed and nodded. “Alrighty, Princess.” The plumber straightened up. “What did you need to talk about then?”

Zelda motioned towards the three little ponies whispering to each other about ten meters behind her. The three of them appeared to be having an argument of some sort. “These three are newcomers to the Smash tournament this time around. However, their arrival here was most unorthodox. They are from an entirely new world and yet they are many, and the poor souls claim that they were ripped from their world unwillingly. They know not why they are here, or even what they are expected to do here.” Zelda shook her head. “The three of them are terrified and I fear they may consider us malicious and even turn violent should they not be assuaged. I sense powerful magic in the purple one and great strength and courage in them all. They now demand a way to be sent home, but we know that this is impossible.” She looked askance between the ponies and Mario. “I had hoped you’d be able to calm the three of them and explain the situation to them gently. You have always had good people skills.”

The Italian plumber let out a long breath. “Mama mia, what a state.” He frowned. “You’re right, though. Nobody has ever been brought here like that before, though. How strange.” Mario stroked his mustache thoughtfully. “The Master must really want them here in this particular tournament if he brought them to the Acropolis unwillingly without even telling them what they were getting into. I wonder what he’s up to.”

“I was wondering the same thing.” Zelda nodded. “The Master has always been enigmatic, but he’s never done anything quite like this... and to bring so many...”

“Hmmm...” Mario pulled his hat off and scratched his head. “A lot of things have been a little bit weird this time around.” He nodded. “I’ll talk to the little ponies for you, Zelda, but I’ll tell you what,” he said, motioning for her to lean in a little and listen closely. “You should go around and tell a few more of the contestants about this. Not everybody, of course. We don’t want to put everybody on edge around them if they’re that nervous. But a few of the veterans; Peach, Luigi, Fox, Captain Falcon, Samus... the ones that have been around the block a few times.” Zelda nodded as Mario continued. “Have them keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t lose it or get into too much trouble. Keep a lookout for anything suspicious.” He held his hands up. “But tell them not to treat them any differently from anybody else. We don’t know the whole story, after all. There could be nothing strange at all and they’re just average contestants like everybody else. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course.” Zelda bowed. “I shall go take care of that then.”

“Okie Dokie! I’ll see what I can do to calm these little ponies down.” Mario said brightly, clapping a hand down on Zelda’s shoulder. The Hylian princess went rigid at the touch, but said nothing as she stalked off into the crowd. Straightening his hat upon his head, Mario took a deep breath and strode confidently towards the three little ponies.



* * *



The three ponies steeled themselves as the red capped figure came closer. Applejack swallowed hard as the figure approached, but Twilight relaxed a little as he got close. Unlike Zelda, this figure walked with a relaxed gait and a friendly smile on his mustachioed face. The man raised a gloved hand in greeting.

“Hello!” he said, reaching up and tipping his hat. “It’s-a me, Mario!”

The three friends looked between each other for a moment. Fluttershy shrugged and Applejack made a quick motion at Twilight with a hoof. Giving a little sigh, Twilight stepped forward and cleared her throat. “Hello, Mr. Mario. I take it you’re the one that Zelda was talking about? You’re the leader of all of these people?”

Mario chuckled lightly and nodded. “Everybody seems to look at me that way. Never quite asked for the position though.”

Twilight smiled slightly. “Well then, it’s good to meet you. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends Applejack and Fluttershy.”

Applejack tipped her hat a little. “Howdy”

Fluttershy made a little squeaking noise that may or may not have been a hello.

“Molto bene!” Mario grinned at the three of them. “It’s great to meet you all! But,” he trailed off, “I understand that you did not come here by choice, no?”

“Yes, that’s right!” Twilight said. “We were inspecting a meteor that fell from the sky that turned out to be an invitation. I hadn’t even managed to properly translate the whole inscription when the meteor did something bizarre to my magic and tore open a portal, bringing me and two of my friends here.” She finished, the other two nodding the whole time.

Mario stroked his moustache, his eyes pensive and downcast. “That’s strange. That’s never happened before at all...”

Twilight nodded. “That’s what Princess Zelda said too. And, well,” she trailed off, clearing her throat a little, “we were wondering if maybe you could fix it so that we could be sent back home?” Her eyes widened and she held up a hoof, speaking quickly. “I mean no offense, it’s not that our world wouldn’t love to join your gathering or anything, it’s just that we aren’t ready. The three of us are hardly prepared or qualified to join your symposium or convention or whatever this is supposed to be.”

The red-hatted plumber whistled and rolled his eyes. “Mama mia... you three really don’t know what’s going on at all, do you? Why would the Master snatch you up if you had no idea what you would be getting into?”

The purple unicorn shrugged. “We were thinking there was maybe some kind of mistake? That maybe your Master wouldn’t mind sending us home then?”

“Ehhhhhh... I don’t know... The Master usually isn’t one to make mistakes like that.” Mario said, taking his hat off and scratching the back of his neck.

She shuffled a hoof on the ground. “Well, maybe you could... ask him anyway? Please?” she said. The three of them all gave him pleading looks.

Mario’s heart melted at the sight. The man sighed and replaced his hat “...I can try, I suppose.”

All three of them visibly brightened. Twilight practically bounced at the news. “Oh thank you! Thank you so much!”

“It’s-a no trouble.” Mario said, looking around the room. The three ponies faces fell as they watched Mario’s face take on a slightly darker look. He frowned as he pointed around the room with a gloved hand, as if he were counting out the number of people in the room. After a minute or so of silence, he came to a stop.

“...hmmmmm”

Twilight stepped up beside him. “Is something wrong?”

Mario shook his head, a pensive look on his face. “I’m not sure. Just wondering... We were told there would be fifty of us this time. We’re one short. Are you the only three that came from your world? Are you sure there wasn’t one more?”

Twilight’s ears cocked. “No, it was just us three. Why do y-” she tried to answer but she was suddenly cut off by a horribly familiar voice.

“Unhand me, you cretins! I demand to see whoever is in charge here!”

Fluttershy gasped “That voice...”

“It can’t be!” Applejack growled.

Mario cocked an eyebrow, looking for the source of the voice through the crowd. “Who’s that?” he just barely managed to ask when a fourth equine barged through a couple contestants and into the clearing. She was a vile shade of blackish-green and covered in a chitinous exoskeleton. A long, tangled green mane cascaded down the back of her neck, with a tail to match. Atop her shelled head stood a gnarled and twisted horn, glowing green with foreign magics. Her eyes were a two toned shade of green and dangerous looking fangs could be seen as she bared her teeth. On her back proudly sat two ragged insectoid wings and her hooves were serrated and porous.

Following close behind her out of the crowd were two other figures who were dressed oddly similar to Mario. One was shorter and fatter, wearing a yellow cap and shirt with purple overalls. The other was tall and extraordinarily thing, with a violet cap and shirt and black overalls. The short one’s cap had a letter ‘W’ on its front, while the tall one had the Pegasopolian letter ‘Gamma’ on it. They both had rather pasty faces, big flushed noses, beady little eyes, and somewhat unkempt mustaches as opposed to Mario’s expertly groomed one.

Twilight’s eyes narrowed and her face lifted into a snarl.

“Queen Chrysalis...” she growled.

The shorter man panted as he chased after the rogue changeling. “Jeez, Queenie, settle down!”

“Waa! We’re almost to him!” The taller one protested. “Keep your shell on!”

The fuming Queen of the Changelings snapped her teeth at the both of them. “This is intolerable. I demand to speak to someling competent this second!”

Applejack shook her head and grumbled. “Y’all gotta be kidding me.”

“How could she be here?” Fluttershy whimpered, hiding behind her long mane.

Mario looked at the three of them, whispering, “I take it you know her?”

Twilight nodded grimly, leaning towards him and whispering back. “She’s the queen of the changelings. She tried to invade Canterlot -that’s our capital- a few months ago when my brother was getting married. Then a month ago she tried to use a magical surge from a comet to drain my friends of their emotions and me of my magical power so she could become a goddess. I trapped her in a pocket dimension,” she explained.

Sadly, Twilight did not speak softly enough. The Queen’s ears immediately swiveled towards her and the changeling’s full attention was brought upon the lavender unicorn. The Queen’s scowl only deepened as she saw the three little ponies. “Oh wonderful. The Elements of Harmony. Decided to snatch me up from my other prison so that you could throw me into a freakshow circus, did you?”

The two others that had been escorting her quickly scampered up to Mario, practically groveling. Mario rolled his eyes at the two of them. “Wario, Waluigi...” he greeted with a dull nod.

The short one known as Wario chuckled embarrassedly. “Mario, I know we’ve had our...” he trailed off, looking for a decent word, “differences in the past, but-”

The taller Waluigi stamped a foot and started shouting. “Take this ugly bug off our hands, please?! She’s been driving us bananas, waa!”

Queen Chrysalis horn glowed with fire as she glared at the two of them. “Ugly?! You simpletons! Do you not know who I am? What I can do to you?!”

Waluigi rolled his eyes. “TERRIBLE things, I’m sure. You’ve only been telling us over and over for the past ten minutes.”

Wario sidled up to the red-capped plumber. “Mario,” he said, patting the man’s shoulder, “you’re good with the newcomers. Calm her down for us, would you?”

Mario sighed, pinching the bridge of his big nose with his fingers. “Fine, fine just leave her here so we can talk before the Master shows up and gives his-” he was cut off when a booming, cacaphonic voice exploded throughout the massive hall.

“WELCOME, CHAMPIONS OF SMASHWORLD!”

Mario groaned “...Address...”

Everybody in the meeting hall immediately ceased talking and snapped to attention. The ponies and the changeling could not help but gawk at what they saw next. All of them, even the dignified Queen of the Changelings, felt their jaws drop as two double doors opened in the back of the hall and a massive white shape floated out from a black void behind them. The being could only be described as a massive hand, like one of a minotaur or the hands she had seen on most of the beings in the hallway, but with nothing attached to it at all. Where it would normally have connected to a wrist, it just seemed to fade away into nothingness. It gestured at them with its phantom fingers, pointing at the crowd. The being had no mouth to speak of, but a deep, commanding voice reverberated out from it nonetheless. “I AM GLAD YOU ALL COULD ATTEND. TO THOSE WHO ARE NEW TO THE ACROPOLIS, I AM THE MASTER HAND; SPIRIT OF CREATION AND INGENUITY. I WELCOME YOU ALL, VETERANS AND NEWCOMERS ALIKE, TO THE FOURTH SUPER SMASH BROTHERS FIGHTING TOURNAMENT!”

Fluttershy squealed, quickly hiding behind Mario. “F-fighting tournament?”

Applejack snapped her attention to Twilight. “What in the hay is he talking about, Twi?”

The unicorn stuttered, her mouth hanging open. “I-I don’t know, AJ... from the invitation it sounded more like this was some kind of science symposium or something...” she babbled, only for Mario to put his hand around her muzzle.

“Shhh...” the plumber looked down at her, putting a finger in front of his mouth.

The Master Hand continued, making no indication he had heard the group. “AS YOU ARE ALL AWARE, YOU WILL ALL BE COMPETING WITH EACH OTHER IN AN ATTEMPT TO WIN THE PRIZE: ONE FREE WISH GRANTED TO THE VICTOR. WHATEVER YOU MAY DESIRE CAN BE YOURS, SHOULD YOU WIN THE TOURNAMENT!”

At that, Queen Chrysalis’ eyebrows suddenly lifted, her mouth slowly twisting into a grim smile. “A wish you say?... Suddenly this whole situation seems like it could be more... favorable.”

“REST WELL, CHAMPIONS,” the hand boomed, floating higher over the crowd. “THE FIRST FIGHTS BEGIN ON THE MORROW! GOOD LUCK. YOU WILL ALL NEED IT!” The crowd was silent as the Master Hand began to retreat through the double doors it appeared from. His retreat ceased, however as Mario spoke up.

“Master, wait.”

All eyes were on Mario and the ponies as the man began to make a case to the massive entity.

Mario motioned to the four equines that surrounded him, looking pleadingly up at the master. “These four, “he began, clearing his throat, “they claim that they were taken without understanding what they were getting into. They were wondering if you might send them ho-”

The Master hand did not move as he gave his response. “EVERYBODY IS WHERE I DESIRE THEM TO BE! NOBODY SHALL BE LEAVING UNTIL THE TOURNAMENT HAS FINISHED!”

Mario took his hat off. “But sir, surely there has been some sort of mistake. Nobody has ever been brought to the tournament without knowing what they were in for.”

“I DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES.”

“But sir...” Mario tried to say as he was cut off again by the master’s shout.

“DO NOT APPROACH ME WITH SUCH A REQUEST AGAIN.” There was no anger or passion to the voice, but it had definitely taken on a harder edge and a tone of finality. There was no room for argument.

Mario sighed. “...okie dokie.”

The Master made no apparent reaction towards Mario’s concession as it just floated silently out of the hallway. The doors slowly creaked shut behind him with a final, resounding slam.

Applejack suddenly shook the encounter off and flew up into a rage. She stamped the ground with a hoof, pawing at the tiles as she snorted out her nose. The orange farmer screamed at the double doors. “Hay no it ain’t ‘okie dokie!’ Get out here ya lily-livered severed limb! I’ll show y’all the back of my buckin’ hoof!”

“Applejack, stop!” Fluttershy said, flying up to her and resting a wing on her withers. “Everybody’s staring...” she peeped.

Applejack sighed, visibly wilting. Her head drooped and her ears flattened as she plodded back over to Twilight. The unicorn put a hoof over the farm mare’s shoulder.

Twilight looked up at Mario. “Sooooo...” she trailed off softly.

Mario sighed. “Mi dispiace,” he muttered, “I’m sorry, Twilight. It looks like you and your friends will have to stay. The Master isn’t willing to send you home.”

Twilight sagged, her head and shoulders drooping. She exhaled softly and nodded, looking back up into his eyes. “It’s alright, Mr. Mario. You tried to ask him.”

“It ain’t alright, Twi!” Applejack protested weakly. “My family needs me! Harvest time is coming and I need to help my family with all the work!”

Fluttershy nodded in agreement. “And I need to take care of my animals” she moaned, her wings fluttering nervously. “Not to mention that there just isn’t any way I could be a part of a f-fighting tournament.” She stammered.

The Queen of the Changelings had been silent for a while, but she spoke up as well. Her voice was soft, but deadly. “While the prospect of a free wish intrigues me,” she said, pensively, “I cannot be away from my swarm. My hive would be lost without me and I am responsible for them.”

Twilight looked pleadingly at all three of them. “Please, Mario has done what he can.”

AJ suddenly snapped. “Done what he can?!” She growled at the student. “He barely said a thing!”

Queen Chrysalis nodded “I have to concur with the hick” she said, getting a dangerous look from the farmer, “The mustachioed fool did not even try.”

“Enough!” Twilight shouted. “Did you not feel the power coming off of that Master Hand guy? His power was comparable to Discord! What would you expect him to do?” she yelled at the three of them.

“I think,” Mario said, finally speaking up over the argument, “that everybody needs to calm down.”

The four turned to Mario to let him continue. Mario nodded, leading them away from the hall and all of the staring contestants. Mario stepped out onto a balcony overlooking a vast landscape. The land before the five of them was beautiful, but almost jarring and schizophrenic in its layout. Tundras were crammed next to forests and jungles and icy mountains jutted up out of deserts. Patches of city were scattered throughout hilly plains and all of it rested on the edge of a vast, endless ocean. Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, and the Changeling Queen Chrysalis all watched him step out onto the balcony, bidding they follow. One by one they stepped out after him, looking over the senseless countryside below.

Mario sighed.  “It’s obvious that I’mma gonna have a lot of explaining to do. If the four of you are gonna have to stay here, then I suppose it’s time I explained how things work in the Smash Brothers tournaments.”
 






> Ch2: Old Stories, New Allies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 2: Old Stories, New Allies



Off in the corner of the meeting hallway, there sat a box.

Not a locked steel crate or ornate treasure chest. It wasn’t marked ‘fragile’ or ‘danger’ or ‘biohazard’ or ‘handle with care’ or anything like that. It wasn’t some sort of fantastical blue police box that could travel through time and space.

It was just an ordinary, everyday, cardboard box.

That was what made it the perfect disguise for the person inside it. Nobody ever looked twice at an ordinary, everyday, cardboard box.

His name was David, but he was better known to both his world and the gathered crowd as Solid Snake: former Green Beret and member of FOXHOUND. The son of the legendary soldier, Big Boss. Founding member of Philanthropy; the internationally recognized anti-Metal Gear NGO. 

He was also an accomplished musher, though that was neither here nor there.

Snake sat silently in the box, watching the crowd slowly disperse out of the meeting hall, now that the Master Hand had made his address. The grizzled man grunted at the throng of strange characters exiting the foyer, looking at the majority of them bemusedly. As the last of them passed out the door, Snake threw his cardboard box off and crouched behind a table, putting a finger to his ear. He closed his eyes, signaling a mental command to the nanomachines running through his veins.

Call frequency: 140.96
Initiate CODEC group call...

A soft, chirping ringtone ran through the small bones of Snake’s ear, inaudible to anybody else. A few moments later, a small, green tinted window opened in the corner of Snake’s vision, an image of a female face moving around in it. 

“Mei Ling, do you read me?” Snake rumbled, his voice low.

“Loud and clear, Snake!” the little image of Mei Ling, Snake’s friend and communication specialist replied. “Trans-dimensional frequency is holding, and you’re coming in strong.”

“Good.” Snake replied. “This interdimensional travel thing always throws me off. I can never tell what’s going to happen, so it’s good that comms are at least working.”

The image of Mei Ling giggled and rolled her eyes. “It’s only your second time, Snake. And besides, communication held last time. I’m not entirely sure how the physics of it work yet, but I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.” She coughed and looked aside. “Well, so long as you don’t have to go ‘outside of space and time’ again.”

“I sure hope not. That was a nightmare.” Snake grunted.

“We’re all here and reading you, Snake.” A fatherly voice said as an old man in a beret appeared in another window in Snake’s vision.

“Colonel!” Snake said as happily as his smoker’s growl of a voice could muster. “Good to hear from you again.”

“Well,” Colonel Roy Campbell chuckled, “Technically I’m not a Colonel anymore, Snake. Remember, I was retired after the Shadow Moses incident.”

“Ugh, that mess didn’t end well for anybody.” Snake rolled his eyes. “It was a pain having to relive parts of it the last time I was here.”

“Tell me about it,” a third voice said. “Just having to look at that place through your camera feed sent all sorts of bad memories just rushing back.”

“Otacon, there you are!” Mei Ling chirped as a third window opened, displaying a nerdy looking man with thick glasses and messy black hair.

“Hello again, Mei Ling. Nice to hear from you again after you left Philanthropy,” Otacon said with a smile.

“Just in time, too.” Snake rumbled. “You’d have hated to have had to deal with the crap me and Otacon have been through since the Tanker incident.”

“Yes, the both of us heard about what happened on the Big Shell.” Campbell said, his voice neutral but his face betraying his anger. “Heard about that poor kid... Raiden you called him?”

“Yeah. The kid was pretty good. Greener than a bad cut of meat, but he had talent.” Snake rumbled. “Mission screwed him up pretty bad, though.”

“The whole thing was a mess.” Otacon nodded.

Campbell grunted. “Pisses me off that they would use my likeness like that though.” 

Mei Ling scratched her head a little. “I read about it, and I’m still not entirely sure what happened. A lot of what I read didn’t really make much sense.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Snake said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “It’s not like it’s relevant to this particular mission, after all. Honestly, as crazy as everything is here, it’s a reprieve. Don’t have to deal with the Patriots, Liquid, Metal Gear or any more long lost brothers when I’m here.” The soldier took a long drag from his smoke. “I mean what’s next? Vapor Snake? Plasma Snake? Antimatter Snake?”

“Don’t get cocky, Snake.” Otacon said. “I’ve been going over the footage from your nanos and I’m seeing a lot of unfriendly faces.”

“Are they all from those video games you play?” Snake chuckled. “I seriously never thought that your habit would ever come in handy like this. Funny old multiverse, ain’t it?”

“Makes you wonder what connects our worlds that the Master Hand would summon you.” Mei Ling mused. “Like... what if our world is just a game in some other universe, like a lot of those characters are games in ours?” She shuddered. “What if every time some player in another universe gets a Game Over, a universe branches off where you ended up dying and the world ended up a terrible place at the hands of Liquid or Solidus?”

Snake let out a long puff of smoke. “Probably best not to think about it too much Mei Ling,” he said casually. “You’ll go right out of your gourd.”

“Anyway, if I could continue...” Otacon said, clearing his throat.

“Right, go ahead, Otacon.” Mei Ling said. Snake nodded for him to go on.

“Alright, I recognize a number of the characters from the great hall. Most of them are still heroes, buuuut...” the computer specialist trailed off. “There are a lot more villains here than there were last time. A lot of them are probably going to be pretty tough.”

“Do you recognize anybody in particular?” Snake asked.

“Sure.” Otacon replied. “Captain Syrup, Kamek, Waluigi, Vaati...”

“These names mean nothing to me, Otacon,” Snake said, a deadpan expression on his face. 

Otacon snorted. “Look, all you really need to know is that these are very bad guys.”

“So... more people to keep from getting the prize then.” Snake said, smoke pouring out of his nostrils. “Wouldn’t want any of these types to get any sort of multiverse spanning wish granted where they become the ruler of everything, right?”

“Exactly.” Otacon said.

“Well, the vast majority of the people here still seem to be good guys.” Mei Ling added. “As long as they’re around it shouldn’t be too hard to keep them from getting their hands on the wish.”

“Like I said,” Snake smirked. “Compared to a brush with a Metal Gear? Easy pickings.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Snake.” Campbell suddenly spoke up. “I’ve been going through the video footage and I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“Oh?”

The Colonel nodded, another window opening in Snake’s vision, this one of video footage taken from his own eyes by the nanomachines in his bloodstream. The image played for a few seconds before an image of a blond man in a militaristic outfit with scars all over his face appeared. The Colonel stopped the footage.

“Snake, you know how I was acquainted with Big Boss before you defeated him at Zanzibar Land, correct?” Colonel Campbell asked.

“Yeah. You said that you first met at the San Hieronymo incident, and you worked with him at FOXHOUND before he was revealed as the mastermind behind Outer Heaven.” Snake replied.

“Yes, that’s right.” Campbell nodded. “I considered him a friend for a long time. And in that time, he occasionally told me stories about his first big mission back in the sixties. A mission called Operation: Snake Eater.”

“Where are you going with this, Colonel?”

“One of the people he was forced to take down in that mission was the leader of a rogue team of Soviet special operatives. A Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin. He described him as, and I quote ‘a sick son of a bitch with scars all over his face who could shoot lightning out of his hands because the universe hates me.’”

“You think this guy could be Volgin?” Snake asked.

“Well, he is wearing a Russian military uniform that was worn in that era.” Campbell added. “We haven’t seen him shoot any lightning, but it seems like it could be him.”

“He’s not from any game I’ve played, I can tell you that.” Otacon said, scratching his chin.

“But how can that be?” Mei Ling asked. “I mean, he’s been dead for over forty five years!”

“I don’t think the Master Hand necessarily cares about that.” Otacon said. “The guy can seemingly warp reality to his whim after all. It wouldn’t be too hard to assume that he could bring the dead back to life to take part in this tournament if he wanted to.”

“Or it’s possible that he pulled Volgin out of time itself to take part in this.” The Colonel added. “It’s all speculation of course, but it’s possible that were you two to make contact, it could have disastrous results on your father’s mission if you reveal too much of the future to him. You could create a time paradox!”

“Isn’t that all assuming a lot?” Snake asked.

“I’m just bringing up the possibility.” Campbell said. “It could be dangerous to make too much contact with him.”

“Sounds like it’d be dangerous to make contact with him regardless,” Snake rumbled as he blew out a puff of smoke. “Still, you’re right. I should probably try to avoid him if possible. If for no other reason than to keep from having to relive Ocelot’s little game back at Shadow Moses.”

“This sounds like it’ll make the mission more difficult.” Mei Ling murmured.

“Still, it’s suspicious.” Otacon hemmed and hawed. “I can’t help but wonder why the Master Hand would bring in so many more villainous types, seemingly going out of his way to get some of them back from the dead or out of time.”

Snake nodded. “Yeah, something doesn’t feel right here. I can’t help but think something’s going on.”

“Hey Otacon, I have a question.” Mei Ling said, fast forwarding the video to reveal three little ponies walking through the crowd. “Do you recognize these three? They and a fourth showed up, and there was a lot of commotion around them.”

Otacon shook his head. “No, actually. They’re not from any game that I’ve ever played.”

“Hnnnnnnh...” Snake grunted. “The plot thickens.”

“Wild cards then.” Otacon said. “You’ll want to keep an eye on them. Learn what you can about them and see if any of them are a threat.”

Snake chuckled. “They sure don’t look like one. They’re little colorful ponies.”

“Let’s not be too hasty, Snake. Remember Kirby and Pikachu.” Mei Ling added.

“Don’t worry about me, Mei Ling. I’ll be careful.” Snake said taking another drag.

Campbell nodded. “Alright Snake. Your mission objectives are as such. First: Do whatever you can to aid any other friendlies in keeping any enemies from obtaining the prize from the Master Hand. Second: Keep out of Colonel Volgin’s sight as much as you can. Do not make contact with him if it can be avoided. Lastly: Learn more about these four ponies and any other unknown elements you find. We don’t want any potential game changers to suddenly throw you off.”

“Also, Four!” Otacon chimed in, “Try to remember to get me an autograph from Samus this time.”

Snake rolled his eyes. Campbell cleared his throat. “Yes, well, did you get all that, Snake?”

“Gotcha.”

“Alright then.” Colonel Campbell said with a smile. “You should probably find yourself a balcony then and scope out the area. Survey the land you’re going to be fighting on. I’ll contact you tomorrow at 0800 unless something comes up.” His window closed.

“Talk to you later Snake!” Mei Ling said with a smile, her window closing, leaving Snake alone with Otacon.

“So...” Otacon said, his voice trailing off.

“So...?” Snake asked, prompting him to continue.

“You doing okay, Snake?” Otacon asked, an awkward tone in his voice.

“I’m fine, Otacon.” Snake deadpanned. “You don’t need to keep pestering me.”

“It’s just... you know. You were hacking up your lungs right before you left for the tournament. You even passed out once or twice. It’s not like you.” Otacon said, a somber look on his face. “I’m worried about you.”

“It was probably just a virus or something, Otacon. I feel fine.” Snake assured him.

“Still.” Otacon said. “You should probably go easy on the cigarettes. I think they might be starting to really have an effect on you.”

Snake wore a neutral expression. “Otacon, I’m here in an alternate dimension with pink marshmallows, unicorns, past nemeses of my father, anthropomorphic starfighters, and a whole crew of other insane characters straight out of your video games,” Snake deadpanned. “And you’re asking me to go easy on the smokes? Believe me, cigs are the tamest thing I could possibly indulge in.”

“Alright, alright,” Otacon sighed, massaging his forehead with his fingers. “Still, I’m taking you to see a doctor the moment you get back from the tournament, okay?”

Snake rolled his eyes. “Fine, Mom,” he chuckled. “I’ll call you if I need any intel about the people here.”

“Okay...” Otacon said, though he still looked plenty unsure. “Talk to you later, Snake.”

Otacon’s CODEC window closed, leaving Snake alone in the great hall.



* * * 



The orange gunship sailed over the schizophrenic looking continent, flying low to the ground over the mishmashed terrain. Deserts and jungles and tundras flew by nonsensically beneath it as the crew aboard it took in the landscape through the green tinted windows. Aboard the craft, an orange-armored figure sat in the pilot’s seat, steering it through the foreign sky, face invisible behind the emotionless green visor. Aboard the starship, several figures watched the land beneath them out the windows. One little figure, though, was right up front with the pilot, her mouth running a million miles a minute.

“-how do you get such a machine to fly without magic, though? I’ve never seen such advanced technology! How fast can it go? Mario said this was a spaceship so does that mean it actually goes into outer space? Because that would be incredible! Does it only move locally or can it actually cross vast distances? Can it simulate gravity? How do you dampen the inertia to keep yourself from disintegrating at high speeds?” Twilight continued to yammer on to the pilot, who just remained silent, seemingly ignoring the little unicorn drilling her with every question one could conceivably ask about the ship.

Twilight was stopped, though, when she felt a hand rest on her back. Jolted out of her trance and shying away a little, Twilight looked up to see the blond man in green from before. He shook his head at her, his long, pointy green hat flopping about his face. He made some intricate motions with his fingers and then pointed out the window.

Twilight blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“He says you should be watching the land outside, not grilling me about my ship.” The pilot finally spoke in a gruff but feminine voice.

Twilight practically jumped out of her skin and ended up falling on her rump. Getting to her hooves, she chuckled. “Oh! I was starting to think you couldn’t talk!” she cocked her head. “And you’re a girl, then? I couldn’t tell through the suit.”

The pilot reached up with an armored hand and detached a latch on her helmet, causing a burst of pressurized gas to release from her suit. Grabbing the top of her helmet, she pulled it off her head, revealing a full head of blonde hair cascading down over her shoulders, with long bangs reaching to just above her deep blue eyes. The pilot cocked a blonde eyebrow at the purple unicorn. “Most people just assume that I’m a man until I take my suit off.”

“Why would they do that?” Twilight asked, curiously.

“Never really got that myself.” The pilot muttered. After a moment, she looked away back to the windshield, surveying the landscape. Not looking at her, she held out a hand towards the little pony. “Samus Aran,” she said, gruffly.

Twilight blinked for a moment, before realizing what she was doing and tapping a hoof to her outstretched, armored palm. “Twilight Sparkle.” She smiled widely. “It’s very nice to meet you!”

“Likewise” Samus grunted, gripping her hoof and shaking it for a moment, when the sound of a clearing throat echoed from the back of the ship. “I think somebody’s waiting on you” she said, evenly.

“Oh, right!” Twilight jumped up. “Mario wanted to talk to me and the others when we got on board! I almost forgot when I saw your amazing machine.” She trotted off back into the belly of the ship. “Talk to you later, Samus! I have so many questions about your transport!”

Samus rolled her eyes as the little unicorn trotted out of sight through an automatic door, which whooshed closed behind her. Locking the door with the flick of a switch, Samus hit a button labeled ‘autopilot’ and turned in her swivel pilot’s chair to look at the blond man in green, now leaning against the wall of the cockpit. “So, Link... thoughts?”

Link shrugged with a neutral look on his face. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and wove out more precise signals with his fingers, coughing a little in a ragged voice. He pointed at the door Twilight had just left through with a smile.

Samus nodded. “Yeah, the three little ones seem alright,” She said, scratching her chin with her armored hand. She sneered, pulling up a camera feed of the passenger hold that she used as something of a living quarters where she saw Mario talking with the four newcomers. She scowled at the one that had announced herself as the ‘Queen of the Changelings’ and helped cause a ruckus in the great hall after the Master Hand’s speech. “The big black one might be trouble though.” She added with a suspicious tone.

Link nodded, making a few more gestures with his hands and pulling on his long, pointed ear. His heavy boots made loud thumping noises as he stepped forward to get a better view of the camera feed, waving at them with an open hand.

“I’m not sure what it means.” Samus sighed. “Everybody else that’s ever come here has known what they’re getting into. Twilight seems to be getting into the swing of things, but I can’t say the same for country jamboree or butterfly butt.” She pointed at the ponies. Twilight seemed very engrossed in what the plumber had to say, but the orange one in the cowboy hat couldn’t stop fidgeting and the pegasus seemed to be trying to curl herself into a singularity. The big, black one just looked bored and seemed to be absentmindedly flipping through a magazine on Samus’ coffee table. “Sounds like Mario’s doing his best at damage control, for all the good it seems to be doing for them,” she hummed.

Link sidled up next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Samus turned back to look out the windshield. Link stepped to the side, making more movements with his hands and arms as Samus watched the landscape pass below them. As they passed over a section of city that she didn’t recognize, she huffed.

“I don’t know.” Samus said with a grunt as she fidgeted with the buttons on her arm cannon. The cannon opened up, revealing a slender hand clad in a light blue glove. With her newly revealed right hand, she firmly pressed a large green button on her left. Her armor suddenly dematerialized around her, revealing a tall, curvy, well-muscled woman in a blue, skintight suit. Glowing pink symbols ran up and down her back and wrists. The suit’s disappearance caused her to hiss as the surgical implants in her spine connecting the suit to her flesh and bone suddenly vaporized, replaced by her natural sinew, muscle, and skeleton. She stretched, the bones in her back and legs popping as she raised her arms above her head. 

“Jesus that feels so much better...” she muttered, clearing her throat and turning to Link. The elven hero was staring at her, a mixture of disgust and shock on his face.

“...what?” She asked. “Link, you’ve seen me in my civvies. What are you staring at?”

Link pointed to Samus’ left arm.

Samus blinked, inspecting her left arm, where three jagged, tooth-like growths were poking through her zero suit, looking like bone daggers as they ripped through the fabric. “Oh yeah! You haven’t seen my teeth yet,” the hunter smirked. “I’ve been thinking of having them removed, but they’re actually pretty handy in unarmed combat.” She shrugged. “Yeah, long story short, I ended up infected by an alien parasite, had Metroid cells injected into me, and now my left arm has teeth. What’cha gonna do, you know?” she said with a small shake of her head.

Link grimaced and made a pinching motion with his fingers.

“Nah.” Samus waved him off. “I mean, yeah, it hurt when they sprouted, but my whole world was pretty much blinding pain at that point.”

Link shook his head and waved a hand over his face, motioning at Samus with a bemused expression. He put his hands on his hips.

Samus chuckled. “Buddy, in my line of work, nothing ends up fazing you after a few months.” She grinned mischievously, holding her toothy arm up to her friend. “You can touch ‘em if you like. They feel pretty weird. I can even flex them a little!” The teeth wiggled a little on her arm as she held them up to Link’s face.

Link’s face started to turn a shade close to that of his outfit as he grimaced, holding up his hands in front of him and backed a few paces away.

“Alright, alright.” Samus chuckled. “Boy, if that was your reaction, I should wiggle them in front of Peach’s face when I get back. She’ll probably faint on the spot.” She coughed a little, her face returning to a mask of esriousness, looking back up at Link who seemed to be recovering. “Anyway, can we get back on track?”

Link nodded vigorously, clearing his throat and wincing a little. His eyes shifted back to the teeth on her arm a few times, though.

“Right.” Samus said, flipping a few switches on her dashboard. “By all rights, it just seems like another normal tournament like the first two, but after the last one I have to say I’m a bit suspicious. Especially with all the other gruesomes that have joined this time around.” She clenched her fist. “I mean, what the hell is that damn glove thinking, bringing Ridley to the tournament?”

Link replied with a frown and a nod as he fidgeted with his boomerang, pulled from a pouch on his waist. He made a few extra cues before going back to watching the world below them.

“Exactly. And I know we’re not the only ones that see it.” Samus leaned forward, resting her head on her arms and closing her eyes. “We’ve managed to keep these things civil the past few times. It was easy the first time around since it was only the twelve of us heroes, but things got difficult the second time and it almost turned into outright anarchy last time, friends fighting friends and the like. I’d rather not have that sort of thing happen again.”

Link nodded slowly, scratching the back of his head and shuffling a foot.

The huntress eyed him with a smirk. “Yeah, Mario told me about that time you tried to run your sword through his head.” Samus chuckled.

Link made a few wide movements, a scowl on his face. He slapped a fist into an open palm and then crossed his arms and glared at the bounty hunter, causing Samus to snort.

“Oh please, like Mario would ever outright kill anything,” The armored woman scoffed, sitting back in her chair again as she observed a very peculiar castle below them. “Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is that everybody’s always a touch on edge at these things at the best of times. Nobody ever completely trusts anybody else with the power to change worlds on a whim. The number of thugs here this time can only make that paranoia worse, and now, after little miss bumpkin’s outburst in the great hall, everybody probably knows that there are suddenly people being taken without permission, which can’t mean anything good.” She glanced aside. “Mario’s attempts to keep that quiet sure died in the cradle. Anyway, it won’t be long until everybody figures out something is going on and just starts questioning everything about this whole setup. I can’t tell what’ll happen after that, but if we want to keep those power hungry bastards like Ridley or Ganondorf from getting their hands on a free wish in the confusion, we need to make sure everybody sticks together and that this doesn’t devolve into an ‘every man for himself’ situation.”

Link shrugged and responded with a long string of gestures. He sighed and looked at Samus with a puzzled expression, leaning against the dashboard.

“I’m saying we’re going to need to play peacekeeper. Keep the order. Smack down any smart guys that try to rise up and cause problems and help settle any arguments or fights that happen between friendlies.” She growled, clenching a fist tightly. “We got lucky that we all managed to sort our crap out last time. If there’s something going on this time we’ll need to join forces against it again, and we can’t do that if everybody is in self-preservation mode. So you, me, and the other longtime vets need to get together and come up with a plan to keep shit straight.” Samus looked up at the medieval warrior. “You with me?”

Link gave her a thumbs up.

“Alright, so here’s what I have in mind-”



* * * MEANWHILE * * * 



Fluttershy and Applejack looked around nervously as the craft sped through the sky. By all rights, it looked like a very nice one-room apartment, if a little heavy on the chrome surfaces. There was a bed tucked in the back with some sort of screen hovering above it, a low, chrome table in the center of the room, a miniature fridge and kitchenette towards the cockpit, and a sofa against the wall, which the two of them and Queen Chrysalis were currently sitting on. Mario was seated upon a hovering chair across from them on the other side of the table. All of it looked very sleek and clean and futuristic to the ponies and changeling.

Applejack hated it.

While Fluttershy seemed to be content with curling in a ball and going to her ‘happy place,’ and Queen Chrysalis was merely looking around with a dispassionate curiosity as though none of this fazed her, Applejack hated the sterile, otherworldly feel of it all. It was too cold, too utilitarian, and too desolate. It was everything she expected, really, out of an alien spacecraft, and it nagged at her. She was as far away from the Apple Family as she could seemingly get at the moment, and she longed for home.

Mario huffed. “Please, Applejack. I know Samus well.” He smiled softly. “Nothing bad is-a going to happen to you here.”

Applejack groaned. “I don’t like it, though.” Applejack shuddered. “It’s like something out of them ‘Star Trot’ comics. How can anypony live in a place like this.”

Queen Chrysalis scoffed. “It might help that they aren’t ponies, genius.”

AJ growled. “Don’t matter! What kind of creature do y’all know of that can live in a flying hospital room?” She pointed at the table in the middle of the room. “Betcha they’ve done dozens of dissections on that thing.”

“Heh.” Mario chuckled. “Samus isn’t exactly one for operating on anything.” 

‘She’s really more the type to blow things up,’ he finished in his head.

Applejack grumbled, crossing her arms and turning her head away from the plumber, only to clench her eyes shut when she caught a glimpse out the window. Watching the land fly by below her as she apparently sped through the sky faster than Rainbow Dash made her feel sick. “Why are we even on this here doohickey, Mario?”

“I told you” Mario said, folding his hands. “After the Master’s speech, everybody goes out and gets a sense for the lay of the land. We’re going to be fighting the tournament in this world he’s constructed, so it’s best to get familiar with our fighting ground before the tournament actually begins.”

Fluttershy raised a hoof, barely peeking out from under her mane as she curled up on the couch. “Why do you fight?” she peeped. “Aren’t you all friends? Friends shouldn’t fight.”

“Ah yes.” Mario said with a nod. “That was what I wanted to explain to you.” He said, standing up and striding over to the automatic door separating the cockpit from the living area.  The door opened with a woosh and a hiss of air. He loudly cleared his throat as the door opened, catching a glimpse of Twilight shaking hands with Samus. The purple unicorn quickly finished up with the bounty hunter and trotted over to him, sitting politely down on the couch between Applejack and Fluttershy.

“Sorry about that Mario.” She said, sheepishly, her ears turned back. “It’s just so exciting! All this new technology and culture. It’s so much to take in and all so fascinating.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes and scoffed but Mario just chuckled. “That’s okay, Twilight,” he said cheerfully. “But I think it’s more important you learn about how the tournament works, yes?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, that’s right. I’m sure we’re all very curious... and concerned... about this fighting tournament.” She said with a grimace of distaste.

“Okie Dokie...” Mario exhaled sharply, sitting back down and leaning back in his chair. “Where to begin.”

“The beginning seems like an obvious place.” Chrysalis grunted with a roll of her eyes.

“Alrighty.” Mario nodded, blinking a little as Twilight’s horn flashed and a little notebook and quill suddenly popped into being. Shaking it off, the plumber began his tale. “Well, the story goes like this...”


---


Twelve heroes appeared in the foyer of a great hall, all of them summoned from far off lands. Two creatures called Pokémon from a land of battle and adventure. A child from a land of psychic horrors. A hero from a land of fantasy. A bounty hunter from a universe of racing and intrigue, and another from one of endless war and death. A mercenary pilot from a system locked in combat. A dinosaur and an ape from peaceful islands, and a puffy pink creature from a land of dreams. Lastly, two simple plumbers from a kingdom ruled by a beautiful princess and constantly besieged by powerful enemies.

They had all been invited to join a tournament, though the method of invitation was certainly an unorthodox one. Great comets had screamed out of the sky and landed near them. Only when they managed to translate the strange runes upon the invitations were they allowed to open a portal to Smashworld. And once there, they were met by the Master Hand: A massive, ethereal hand, bigger than all of them put together.

The Master Hand introduced himself as the ‘Spirit of Creativity and Imagination,’ and he lived up to his name. The spirit seemed capable of conjuring anything from his fingertips. He claimed that he had a hand in creating all their worlds, and that he’d been watching all of them, and many more worlds, for eons on end. He said that he wished to see which of his creations was the most powerful of all, and that he would grant the most powerful of them a single wish, should they fight and win in his first ever ‘Super Smash Brothers’ tournament.

The purpose of the tournament was not merely to fight, however, as the Master Hand encouraged that all of them get to know each other and forge friendships with one another.

It was difficult to create friendships with those you were ordered to fight, but it was soon revealed that it was incredibly difficult to be hurt in the Smashworld, and downright impossible to be killed. The violence soon came to be treated as a mere sport; a sparring match between friends.


---


“Wait, wait, wait...” Twilight said, holding up her hooves. “How does that work?” she asked.

Mario blinked. “How does-a what work?”

“The part where you said that nobody could be hurt or killed.” Twilight replied. “I mean, if everybody is fighting each other, well...” she scratched the back of her head. “It’s just some of the people I saw were carrying some pretty nasty looking weapons or using pretty dangerous looking powers.” She muttered. “If everybody is hitting each other with things like that, how can nobody be hurt?”

“Ah.” Mario nodded in understanding. “I don’t completely know how it works, you see, but there’s some sort of power over this place,” the red capped plumber said, looking at the three of them. “It’s probably best if you ask Zelda about it. She’s really the only one familiar with magic here who isn’t um...” the plumber trailed off, stealing a quick look at Chrysalis who was still idly flipping through Samus’ magazines, before turning back to the ponies, “...less than friendly,” he finished.

“I see...” Twilight mumbled, scratching another little note into her pad. “Sorry, go on.”

Mario cleared his throat.


---


The tournament lasted for some time when-


---


“How long?” Applejack suddenly blurted out.

Mario sighed, slapping a palm to his face. “What’s that?” he asked, exasperated.

Applejack twiddled a hoof, and straightened her hat. “I just wanted to know how long the tournament lasts.”

Mario winced. “Okay, don’t get excited...” he said warily, clearing his throat. “It lasts about eight months.”

“Eight months?!” all four shouted in alarm.

Mario grimaced as all four of them started to protest. Applejack was shouting something about her farm and family and Fluttershy worried for the sake of her animals. Chrysalis spoke of the safety of her changeling swarm and Twilight worried for her other friends. Before they could get even two sentences into their protests, Mario held up a hand. “Hey! HEY!” he shouted, causing them all to stop. “Calm down, paisanos!”

“Again, Zelda would be better to explain it, but there’s a funny thing about the Smashworld.” The ponies all sat on the edge of their seat, urging him to continue, save for Chrysalis who fixed him with a glare. Mario let out a breath. “Basically, time works differently here.”

“How so?” Twilight asked, chewing on the end of her quill.

The little man massaged his forehead. “When we all go home, a different amount of time passes for all of us,” he explained. “While we will spend eight months here, less time will have passed when we get back to our own worlds.” He put a hand on his chest. “For example, when my brother and I get home only two weeks will have passed.” He motioned to the cockpit. “For Samus, it’s a month and a half. For Link, it’s only a week.”

“How do we know how long we’ll be gone?” Twilight asked, concerned.

Mario sighed. “There’s no way to tell until you get home.” He said, shoulders slumping. “Everybody here experiences a different loss of time. The shortest time anybody’s had is three days. The longest is the full eight months.”

“So... we could be gone for almost a year?” Fluttershy stammered.

“I doubt it.” Mario shook his head. “The people that experienced the full eight months had some sort of contact with their own worlds while they were here, and you don’t have that. Zelda says, and I’m using her words, that the contact they had with their worlds probably synchronized the passage of time between universes.” He shrugged. “At least that’s her theory.”

“...what?” Applejack asked.

“Basically, if we had contact with our friends, we’d be gone in Equestria for the full eight months,” Twilight explained to the farmpony. “But since we don’t have contact with them, presumably, we’ll be gone in Equestria for substantially less time.”

“B-but we could still be gone for more than a month!” Fluttershy stuttered. “I can’t be away from my animals for that long!”

“Mi dispiace, my friends.” Mario said somberly. “There’s nothing I can do.”

There was silence in the cabin for a time. The three ponies all hung their heads, their faces masks of worry.

“...you three disgust me.” Chrysalis hissed.

The three ponies turned to the changeling queen, scowls on all their faces. “Oh sure, like you have anything to worry about.” Applejack snapped. “Not like y’all got anypony you have to worry about back in Equestria.”

“Have you not heard a word I have said?!” Chrysalis barked. “My hive is back in our world without me,” she hissed, baring her fangs. “I know it’s hard for you ponies to understand, but I do care about my swarm. They are lost without me, directionless without a queen to maintain our telepathic link.”

The ponies all blinked as Chrysalis continued ranting. “Yes, I’m worried about them. The world hates them, and you ponies would throw them in prisons and leave them starved of love. But at the moment, there’s nothing I can do to help them. So what point is there in worrying needlessly? It will only make what we do here harder.”

The ponies all blinked. Mario cleared his throat. “She’s right, actually.”

Chrysalis turned away and continued absentmindedly flipping through the magazine she found.

Mario continued. “There’s no point in worrying if you can’t do anything about it, is there?”

The three ponies all sighed. Applejack flopped onto her belly and started to circle a hoof around on the ground, her ears folded back and her tail drooping. “I suppose y’all are right.” Applejack droned. “It don’t sit right with me, though.”

“I’m sure somepony will help take care of your farm and animals, girls.” Twilight said softly, attempting to placate the two of them. “Celestia wouldn’t let your lives fall into ruin while you’re gone.”

“Yeah...” Applejack still sounded gloomy and nervous, but calmed, or at least as calmed as she could get. Fluttershy nodded as well.

“It’s not really worth too much worry anyway.” Mario explained. “Most of the people who come here don’t turn out to be gone for more than a couple weeks. Samus has one of the longest amounts of time pass other than the ones that have contact with their world. You probably won’t be gone more than a week or two.”

Applejack fidgeted. “Iff’n you say so...”

Mario gave them all a little nod. “So... can I continue then?”

The ponies and changeling all motioned for him to go on.


---


The tournament lasted for eight long months, and in that time, the twelve of them ended up forging friendships of some form or another. At the very least, they all grew to respect one another, and all of them became better fighters, and arguably better people because of it. Eventually, though, the tournament began to draw to a close.

The Master Hand never explained exactly how he judged the tournament. Who can really say how such a being thinks or judges the battles when they are all so chaotic and frenzied that the fighters themselves can sometimes barely keep track of what is going on around them? However, one by one, he would eventually declare fighters to have lost and be out of the tournament. The losing fighters were free to remain in the world and interact and spar with those still in the game, but were not a part of official battles.

Eventually, one fighter won the tournament, and the fabled prize that the Master Hand offered: one wish from the spirit of creation and imagination himself. The multiverse was in his hands. Whatever he wished for could shape the destinies of countless realities and the fates of all beings within.


---


“Who won?” Fluttershy asked, softly.

Mario chuckled for a moment before answering. “Kirby won the first Super Smash Brothers tournament.” The plumber said, sounding amused.

Twilight blinked. “Kirby?”

He nodded. “I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough. He’s a little pink guy with big red feet.”

“And... what did he wish for?” Applejack asked.

Mario laughed softly, leaning back. “A slice of strawberry shortcake.”

The ponies were all silent. Twilight cocked her head.

“...seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“That... seems like a mighty waste.” Applejack muttered.

Mario shrugged. “You’d think, but if you’d seen the little guy’s face as he ate it, you’d know he was the most contented little bambino that ever lived then.”

Fluttershy chuckled. “It sounds like something that Pinkie Pie would do.”

“Must’ve been good cake.” Applejack nodded.

The girls all giggled at the thought. Queen Chrysalis pointedly ignored the bunch of them.

“Anyway,” Mario continued. “After that, we were all sent home. Everything went back to normal for all of us until some time later...”


---


The Master Hand was contented with his work in the previous tournament. The most powerful of his creations had been chosen and had gotten his wish. However, not all was at peace in the Master Hand’s world.

The Master Hand’s brother, the Crazy Hand, took every chance he could to provoke and prod at his sibling. The Crazy Hand, the ultimate spirit of Destruction and Ruin, proposed that the Master Hand had not found the most powerful of all of his creations. For while he may have found the most powerful champion of good, the Crazy Hand proposed that evil was far more powerful a force. After all what good is creation when anything that is created can be destroyed in an instant? What good is it to promote peace and the creation and preservation of life and civilization, when but a single horseshoe nail could bring it all tumbling down?

Indeed, the Crazy Hand made an interesting case. Which was the more powerful force? Good or Evil? Creation or Destruction? The question troubled the Master Hand’s mind, and the Crazy Hand proposed that he host another tournament to put it to the test. Eventually, the Master Hand agreed, and summoned up even more champions from even more worlds. Most of them good, but a number of them evil.

Bowser, the King of the Koopas, was summoned; A powerful sorcerer and kidnapper. Ganondorf, the king of thieves and wielder of the Triforce of Power too was called; A dark wizard of the cruelest intentions and scourge of the land of Hyrule. And Mewtwo, the world’s most powerful pokémon bred and tested upon in a cloning lab; The most powerful psychic anyone had ever seen and hateful of all human life.

The tournament began anew, but this time there was an air of tension over the whole thing. The heroes were forced to work together to keep these three villains from ever obtaining the Master Hand’s prize.


---


“And did you?” Twilight asked. “Did you keep them from winning the prize?”

“Shucks, Twi.” Applejack said. “’Course they did. They’re still here after all, right?”

Mario shook his head. “No, actually. We failed.”

The ponies all blinked. “What?!” they all shouted. Even Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.

Mario shrugged. “We lost. All of us.” He straightened his hat on his head as he continued. “We managed to defeat Bowser and Ganondorf, but all of us ended up falling to Mewtwo’s psychic ability. He wiped the floor with each and every one of us.”

“But y’all said he hated all human life!” Applejack said. “Wouldn’t he have used his wish to wipe y’all out or something?”

Mario stroked his moustache. “Well, he almost did. But something strange happened...”


---


Mewtwo watched as all of the creatures he fought against forged bonds and friendships that he had never known. Mewtwo’s thoughts were troubled as he watched these humans laughing, dancing, sparring, and living together in friendship and harmony. It was all so different from Mewtwo’s experience with humanity. The humans that Mewtwo had known and hated had been cold, analytical, and cruel, prodding him with needles and shocking him with electrodes just to test his limits. The humans Mewtwo had destroyed were different from these people. Mewtwo considered this. If he were to destroy humanity with his wish, would he be destroying innocents the way his humans had nearly destroyed him when he was once innocent? Would he be any better than his tormentors?

Mewtwo still fought with every ounce of his being in the tournament, and eventually won. The Crazy Hand gloated over his brother. The Master Hand seemed crestfallen as he offered Mewtwo his wish.

It was tempting for Mewtwo to wish for the destruction of humanity. The destruction of humanity in all universes. But as he looked over the faces of those who had fought him, he felt too conflicted to wish for such a thing. Instead, he looked at the Master Hand and wished for one thing.

“Understanding”

That was all he said. Mewtwo wished to ‘understand.’

The Master Hand and the Crazy Hand both were surprised. The Master Hand granted the wish.

None of the fighters in the tournament ever found out exactly what happened. All they knew was they looked into Mewtwo’s eyes as the wish was granted then and there and they saw something different. Mewtwo looked as if some great puzzle had finally been solved. His posture was more relaxed and his telepathic voice softer.

He stood there, reveling in his epiphany for a few moments, before turning to the Crazy Hand and speaking only four words.

“You are a fool.”

The Crazy Hand cried out in rage. Somehow, even in his victory, he had met with defeat. In his rage, he attacked all of the fighters, even the ones he had summoned to fight for him.

All of the champions were forced to fight the most powerful foe they’d ever faced: The Spirit of Destruction himself. In the end though, they succeeded in defeating him against all odds. Mewtwo struck the final blow, sending the Crazy Hand hurtling into the void of the Final Destination to lick his wounds.

And so, the fighters were all sent home, and when the call came out once more, Mewtwo did not join them.


---


“So um...” Fluttershy spoke up. “Why did you get called a third time?”

“Yeah, if y’all had already found out who the most powerful of y’all was and already proven that good was better ‘n evil, what else was there to call y’all about?”

Mario sighed. “Well... that was where things got messy,” he muttered.


---


Once again, the champions were summoned, in even greater number this time. However, this time there was no test awaiting them. The Master Hand said nothing about a test between good and evil or a test to see who was the strongest among them. Instead, they were merely told to fight.

Behind the backs of the heroes though, the Master Hand was making pacts with the nefarious Ganondorf, Bowser, Ridley, and Wario. He claimed that although Mewtwo eventually relented and claimed that Good was more powerful than Evil, he was still technically aligned with Evil when he actually won the tournament. Therefore, whatever he said afterward must have been wrong. The Master Hand claimed to have had an epiphany and proposed an alliance with the villains. He claimed that he would make all of them the rulers and gods of their own worlds if they agreed to help him destroy those who were obviously inferior: the champions of Good.

For seven months, the tournament was waged. The heroes all eventually became complacent as the villains were supposedly all eliminated from the tournament early on in the games. However, that merely allowed those who followed Evil to gather together in a mysterious realm called Subspace uninterrupted by the heroes. There, they constructed weapons, armies, and entire cities, all with the purpose of destroying that which was good with the help of an enslaved army of robots called “R.O.B.s” or “Robotic Operating Buddies.”

And when they struck, none of the heroes were prepared. The R.O.B.s were made to sacrifice themselves to detonate bombs that absorbed the power and energy of the Smashworld and powered the subspace engines that they would use to destroy the heroes. The heroes attempted to fight back, but in all the confusion ended up fighting each other as much as they ended up fighting their aggressors.

Eventually, the heroes managed to get themselves together and coordinate to destroy the R.O.B. army and the bomb factory, defeat Wario, and seemingly thwart the plans of the evildoers. Ridley was beaten twice, and the heroes gathered together to invade Subspace and thwart the villains. Only Ganondorf, Bowser and the Master Hand remained. Ganondorf attempted to pin the blame of their imminent failure on Bowser to save face with the Master Hand and stabbed Bowser in the back. It was then revealed, however, that for the Master Hand, everything was going according to plan.

For you see, the Master Hand was not actually the Master Hand that the fighters knew. The Master Hand was being controlled by a villainous lord of emptiness. A vile creature known as Tabuu: Lord of the Space between Spaces.

Tabuu discovered the Smashworld when the Crazy Hand was defeated by Mewtwo. When such a powerful entity was broken, it caused a rift to open in space and time and alert Tabuu to the existence of the Smashworld. For Tabuu was obsessed with expanding subspace and consuming all worlds to become the ultimate being, but his imprisonment in the space between spaces made that impossible. The Smashworld, being by nature an amalgam of many worlds’ energies mashed together, was a perfect way to worm his influence into many worlds at the same time and eventually give him the strength to consume all worlds. But he was too weak to do it on his own, so he slowly and carefully weakened the Master Hand from the safety of Subspace with his corruptive influence. The Master Hand was already in a sorry state from his fight with his brother and eventually he managed to break the spirit of creation. From there, he immediately summoned the means to construct an army that would absorb the Smashworld into Subspace and thus grant him the energies of the world and its heroes, making him more powerful than ever.

Tabuu revealed to Ganondorf that he intended for the heroes to catch on and reach his lair. That way, he could absorb their powerful energies along with the energies of the world itself. He had played Ganondorf, Bowser, and Wario for fools. The only one who had known about Tabuu was Ridley, who sided with him when Tabuu promised to make him his highest general. Tabuu set everybody up and revealed that he fully intended to betray Ganondorf, then stole his energy and left him for dead. The weakened Master Hand attempted to fight back, but Tabuu swiftly defeated him and absorbed his energy as well. He then went on to do the same to the heroes and with that, he managed to absorb the whole of the Smashworld.

He would have gone on to absorb all of the heroes’ homeworlds and eventually the entire multiverse, but after absorbing so much energy and with his foes seemingly defeated, he decided he could spare time to rest. It was merely serendipity that the heroes managed to ever fight back. Kirby, the most powerful fighter from the first tournament, was saved by a strange artifact he had taken from his on-again-off-again nemesis, and proceeded to restore every other champion. The champions united and managed to fight through the mangled Smashworld that now floated about in subspace and confront Tabuu.

They reached him too late, however, as Tabuu ripped holes into every world in the multiverse. It was only by luck that Tabuu was startled out of his feast by a speedster from one of the universes he ripped into, and in his confusion, the other fighters managed to take him down. The last of the R.O.B.s managed to strike the final blow, angered at the loss of his race through Tabuu’s manipulations.

With Tabuu destroyed, the Smashworld was set right once again and Tabuu’s influence throughout the multiverse was severed. The Master Hand was restored and, though the tournament was ultimately a farce, he offered a wish to the last R.O.B. for his aid in defeating Tabuu. R.O.B. wished for the restoration of his race and the R.O.B.s went on to return to their pacifistic ways of aiding and serving those who are in need.

And so, the fighters were all sent home, having saved the multiverse itself from being destroyed by Tabuu and the armies of Subspace...


---


“...and that brings us to about now.” Mario said. “Now we’ve been called together again for a fourth tournament.”

The ponies all stared at him. Even Chrysalis was silent.

“So...” Applejack said. “What does the fella want this time?”

Mario grimaced. “We don’t know. He didn’t specify a purpose for the tournament in his address, and you bet your bruschetta that makes some of us very nervous.”

“He is a disembodied limb with the power of a god, though,” Twilight said, still jotting things down in her notepad. “I mean, if any creature has the right to be enigmatic and incomprehensible it’s something like that. So it’s entirely possible that this is just another tournament right?”

“As far as we know that’s the case,” he said. “We’re going to treat it like another normal tournament until we know otherwise, but we’re going to remain on guard this time. Nothing is going to sneak up on us or make us complacent.”

“But that’s why you were so startled when we said we weren’t invited.” Twilight murmered. “It’s suspicious and you worry it might be indicative of something more going on.”

Mario nodded. “That’s-a right.”

“It must be awful.” Fluttershy muttered, uncurling from her ball. “You get a chance to see friends that you wouldn’t ever be able to see otherwise, and you’re going to spend the whole time worrying that something bad might happen all because of us.” She got up off the couch and trotted over to Mario, surprising him with a big hug. “I’m sorry.” She said, softly.

Chrysalis made a mock-retching noise but otherwise remained quiet.

Mario blinked, but eventually smiled and patted the pegasus on the back. “It’s all okie dokie.” He said gently. “There’s a lot of us keeping watch, and we’re not going to let this ruin the whole time we have together.” He chuckled. “And if it’s any consolation, you’re not the only suspicious thing about this tournament, so don’t you go thinking that you’re ruining this for us.” He gave the others a wan smile. “Heck, even if it was a normal tournament we’d still be busy trying to make sure that certain sorts don’t end up getting the prize.”

“It all sounds pretty stressful.” Twilight said.

Mario nodded. “Yes, but it is stress shared among friends, and that makes it a little easier to bear, am I right Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight smiled. “I understand better than you know, Mario.”

Applejack huffed and shivered a little, her tail twitching back and forth. “Mr. Mario, I think I may have misjudged y’all. I owe you an apology, I reckon.”

Fluttershy broke her hug. “We’ll help as best we can.” Her ears folded back. “...even if it means having to fight...”

Mario grinned widely. “Eccellente, girls.” Patting Fluttershy on the head, he turned to Queen Chrysalis. “And what of you, Queen?”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “I hardly think of myself as evil, plumber. My race has been oppressed and forced to scavenge for scraps in the shadows for ages. Only by my hoof have the changelings even survived as long as they have.” She snorted. “If I cannot be with my hive this minute to guide them, then I will use my wish to bring them out of the shadows and into the light where they will thrive. I am going to get that wish. I will help my hive one way or another. You are welcome to try and band together to stop me, but I promise that I will destroy you if you do.”

Mario’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “I have no problem with you helping your people, Queen. But I may have a problem with how it you plan to do it.”

“I do not answer to you, plumber.” Queen Chrysalis sneered. “I don’t have to explain what I intend or justify myself to you.” She stood up. “I tire of this,” she said, walking over to the door and placing a hoof against the opening panel. When it did not open, she snarled, lighting her horn and blasting the panel, causing the door to open.



* * *



The Queen strode into the cockpit, interrupting a conversation between Samus and Link.

“Hey!” Samus shouted. “The hell do you think you’re doing to my ship?!”

“I tire of this!” Queen Chrysalis announced in her most royal voice. “Set the ship down and let me depart. I am returning to the Acropolis.”

Samus snarled at her, fixing the Queen with a fiery glare. The Queen glared back, ice in her eyes to match Samus’ heat. The two of them stared at each other in silent challenge for several moments before Samus grumbled and punched several switches and buttons on her dashboard. The ship slowed to a halt and lowered to the ground, coming to rest in a glade in a spooky looking forest. Activating a switch on the dashboard, Samus opened the entrance hatch in the living quarters. With a mocking nod of her head, Chrysalis wordlessly buzzed her wings, fluttering through the main living room and out into the open, flying back towards the large plateau upon which the Acropolis’ fortress sat.

“Bitch, isn’t she?” Samus muttered when the Queen was out of sight. Mario and the three ponies ambled into the cockpit with the two other veterans. Link made a very particular rude gesture out the window at the queen, who was now a fair ways into the distance.

“So what’s the word?” Samus asked Mario.

The plumber cleared his throat. “I can’t get a decent bead on the Queen.” He said. “She claims that if she wins the prize she will merely use it to the benefit of her race, but she blew up and refused to explain how she wanted to do so or any other ulterior motives.” Mario stroked his bushy moustache. “I can’t say I like her, though.”

“You shouldn’t.” Twilight said. “There’s no reason to trust her at all. The last few times she tried to ‘help her race,’ she did it at the expense of other civilizations in Equestria. She brought the kingdom of the Cuddle Cats nearly to ruin in her latest attempt at helping her race, and every time she intended to destroy the pony race in an attempt to raise up her own.” The unicorn shook her head. “She could have attempted to merely open relations with Equestria and the other nations, but she didn’t even try such a thing. She jumped straight into infiltration and invasion. Chrysalis doesn’t seem capable of helping her own people without bringing down another.”

Mario nodded. “I see... I know exactly the type,” he muttered.

“We can’t let her get the wish then.” Samus mused. 

“No.” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “At best, she’ll bring ruin to our world, but she might get it in her head to go bigger if she thinks it will ‘benefit her people.’”

“Alright.” Samus nodded. “We’ll add her to the list of ‘unfriendlies’ then.”

“These three on the other hand...” Mario said with a smile, opening his arms to gesture to the three little ponies, “I believe we can trust.” The plumber smiled at the three of them. “You all seem plenty nice to me, even if your arrival was unusual.”

Fluttershy blushed. Twilight beamed. Applejack scuffed a hoof. “Aw, shucks.” Link strode over to her and placed a hand on her withers. The farmer froze up for a moment, but eventually relaxed a little. “I’m still a little skittish, y’all understand. Being so far away from home and among such strange company... it puts me on edge.”

“Of course.” Mario nodded. “I’m sure if you let yourself ease up, though, you’ll find we aren’t that scary.” He added with a grin.

Applejack drooped. “I’m mighty sorry I freaked out at y’all back in the great hall.”

“Forget about it.” Samus said with a dismissive wave. “First time we were here we had our fair share of freaking out at each other, eh Link?” The green-capped hero just rolled his eyes. Samus chuckled. “Yeah, we have fun.”

Fluttershy and Twilight smiled. “We’ll help you any way we can, Mario,” Twilight said. “It’s a little weird, but we’ll help you to keep Chrysalis and any of our other enemies from getting the prize, and if anything goes awry we’ll be right there! We swear as the elements of harmony!”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’s right... even if I’d... prefer not to fight so much...” she muttered.

“Alright, then!” the plumber said with a flip of his cap. “Then let’s-a go!”

The orange ship’s thrusters lit with a glowing, blue fire as the gunship took off from the dark forest, sailing into the sky over the absurd landscape.


> Ch3: Unsettled, Settling In
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 3: Unsettled, Settling In


"Wait!” Twilight shouted, jumping up next to Samus and accidentally jostling some of the controls on the dashboard. The ship lurched from side to side as the little pony’s hooves landed on several buttons and switches. The other passengers stumbled a little as the ship rocked and bumped. The bounty hunter quickly pushed her away and regained control, glaring at her.

“Knock it off!” Samus snapped. “Are you trying to get us to crash?”

“Put it down!” Twilight shouted, ignoring her. “Put the ship down over there!” she pointed at a massive spire of a mountain below them, jutting out of a grassy plain. Waterfalls cascaded down the sides of the mountain, forming rivers that snaked out away from the source.

“What’s down there?” Samus asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Fly around to the other side,” Twilight explained. “You’ll know where to put it down.”

Samus looked to Mario and Link and shrugged at the both of them. The two of them shrugged back, Link nodding to signal that she follow what Twilight said. With a sigh, the hunter banked the ship left, cruising in an arc around the tall, steep mountain. As the ship crested the mountain, Link and Mario gasped, and even Samus’ eyes widened a little, impressed.

Sitting on the side of the mountain was an alabaster white city carved into the stone; a vast metropolis of tall buildings of whimsical architecture and colorful structures. A huge marketplace sprawled out below them, filled with bustling activity, indistinct figures moving from place to place in a hurry. Observatories sat atop massive schools and universities, the telescopes swiveling around, presumably to peer at the ship that the group approached in. Towers and turrets speared the sky from the massive castle at the center, their stained glass windows reflecting the sun in a rainbow of colors and lights.

“Canterlot...” Applejack and Fluttershy both gasped.

“Is this your home?” Mario asked, a slight frown settling under his moustache.

Twilight stood on her hind legs and put a hoof on Samus’ shoulder. The hunter grunted threateningly, shoving the little unicorn off, but she paid her surly attitude no mind. Instead, she pointed out the window towards the castle, directing the pilot to a grassy courtyard sitting just below the tallest tower. “There!” Twilight shouted. “Put it down there!”

Samus looked to Mario who shook his head. “Not a good idea.” Samus said, gruffly.

“What?!” all three of the ponies shouted.

Mario sighed. “Look, Twilight, it isn’t a good idea to go down there yet. There’s something that you gotta know about the Sma- wah!” Mario was cut off as Twilight practically tackled the plumber, slamming both of her hooves on his shoulders, her face getting a little too close to his.

“That’s Canterlot, though!” She explained. “I grew up there! If I can get to Princess Celestia, we can clear up everything! The girls and I can drop out of the tournament, you can get some better fighters from the military, and my friends and I can just study from the outside! We have to go down there!”

Mario sighed. “No, Twilight, we can’t.”

“But...” Twilight stuttered, her lower lip trembling, “but the Princesses can help!”

“They can’t help us here, Twilight.” Mario shook his head sadly. “They’re back on your world.”

Applejack stamped a hoof. “But Canterlot is right there!” she shouted. “What are y’all trying to pull?!”

“If you’d let me explain-” Mario started to say, only to duck as Twilight’s horn started to glow a fierce purple. He, Samus, and Link all ducked for cover, expecting her to attack them when suddenly there was a dazzling light and a loud “pop!” When the stars cleared from their vision, they saw Twilight was gone.

“Where the hell did she get to?!” Samus snapped, looking at the scanners on her ship and only finding five life signals. She was just about to open her mouth and ask another question when Link tapped her on her shoulder and pointed out the windshield at the castle. There, on the highest balcony, they saw a tiny purple figure picking itself up off the ground and stumbling into the castle.

Mario sighed. “Merda...” he whispered, stepping up towards Samus. “Come on, we need to follow her.” Samus nodded and put the ship in gear, lowering the craft down to the courtyard.

Fluttershy tugged on Mario’s pant leg. “Um...” she asked quietly, “why can’t we ask Princess Celestia for help?”

Mario groaned. “Well, you see…”


* 	* 	*


“Princess Celestia!” Twilight shouted, stumbling into the throne room. Her voice echoed around the empty chamber, not a soul in sight as she roamed the vacant halls of Canterlot Castle. The purple unicorn was becoming increasingly frantic and discouraged. The balcony she’d teleported to had led directly into Princess Celestia’s personal chambers and she wasn’t there. Nor was she in her study, her observatory, or the royal kitchen. In fact, Twilight hadn’t seen hide nor hair of anypony anywhere in the castle.

And now to discover the throne room to be just as void of life as the rest of the castle, well... let’s just say that Twilight’s mane was beginning to curl a little bit.

“Oh... where could she be? Where is everypony?” Twilight trotted in place nervously. A repetitive thumping noise came from outside the castle but Twilight paid it no heed. She was too wrapped up in trying to locate her missing mentor.

“Could she be in the garden?” Twilight asked nopony in particular. “I know she likes to take her tea there, but that still doesn’t explain where everypony else is!” 

The thumping got louder. 

Twilight continued to pace around the throne room. “Maybe she’s still in Ponyville?” Twilight tapped her chin. “But that still doesn’t explain the staff and I didn’t see Ponyville from the air!” She pulled on her mane. “Uuughhhh! This doesn’t make any sense!” 

The thumping started to rattle the windows.

She whirled her head to the wall. “And what in Equestria is that noi-”

That was when the giant cockatrice smashed through the wall.

Twilight stumbled back with a shriek, scrabbling to her hooves and ducking behind a column as the giant beast flew through the castle wall, sending rubble and stained glass tumbling everywhere into the throne room. The beast let out an ear-rending screech, shattering every window in the room as it rampaged through the hall. Twilight vainly tried to block out the noise by covering her ears with her hooves, for all the good that it did as her head pounded and rang nonetheless. 

The beast scrabbled around on its gigantic chicken legs, skittering around the throne room and shrieking its head off as Twilight assessed the situation. “Alright, Twilight, think! Canterlot Castle is completely deserted and a giant cockatrice has smashed into the throne room.” She beat her hoof against her head a few times. “Why does that seem so familiar?!”

“Hi-Ho, Princess! Give them no quarter! Release the Kraken!”

Twilight blinked at the faint but enthusiastic battle cries that could now be heard from outside the castle. Battle cries she recognized immediately.

“Spike?!” She gasped, only to realize herself and cover her mouth.

“SKRAAW!!”

Twilight flinched. The giant cockatrice had obviously heard her. Peeking around the side of the column she gasped as she saw it looking her way. Quickly she broke eye contact so as not to invoke its petrifying gaze. The massive thuds of its footsteps quickly grew closer and closer as it advanced on the little pony.

Twilight fidgeted to herself, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what to do. Cockatrices in general were very resistant to magical attacks, and the whole “giant” aspect would make fighting it even harder. And Twilight wasn’t exactly a capable enough fighter to take it on physically, especially since she wasn’t armed in any way. Not to mention that if she locked gazes with it for more than a moment she’d start turning into a lawn ornament… again.

The creature roared right above her, slapping at the column with a giant wing, knocking it over and revealing the purple unicorn.

“Nope!” Twilight yelped, clenching her eyes shut and alighting her horn

The cockatrice lunged down at her, ready to snap her up. Only to be surprised when its jaws bit down on nothing but air.

Twilight reappeared in Canterlot town square a second later in a flash of light. Shaking off the post-teleport nausea, she quickly opened her eyes and looked around.

She instantly wished she hadn’t.

Canterlot was in complete disarray. All across the skies, a swarm of giant mutant cockatrices was laying siege to the city. Buildings were toppling over and in flames all across the metropolis. Ponies were running screaming everywhere, ducking into cover, only for that cover to be immediately blown apart by the cockatrice invasion. Pegasi were flying around, attempting to attack the monsters with lightning and hail, while unicorns were on the ground, futilely attempting to attack them with spells. Earth ponies were having the best luck with physical attacks, but only when they could manage to get close enough to actually hit the beasts. Which was not often. And given the number of new statues around town, it seemed those that did get close didn’t manage to put up a fight for very long. Twilight shuddered at the memory of being petrified herself once back in the Everfree Forest.

But there wasn’t time to focus on any of that. She was looking for just one creature in the crowd of mayhem.

“They may take our lives… but they’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!” came a faint shout from above her.

Twilight’s eyes shot upward as she let out a gasp, all at once overjoyed, relieved, and terrified. There, directly above her, was Spike. The little dragon was, of all things, riding atop Princess Celestia and wearing an eyepatch whilst wielding a trident against the attacking monsters

“Spike!” Twilight called out “Princess Celestia! I’m here! How can I help?!” She screamed at them, trying to get their attention. Sadly, neither the princess nor the baby dragon seemed to hear her over the din of the battle.

Twilight stomped a hoof in frustration. She quickly lit up her horn and cast a “make-it-louder” spell on herself. “SPIKE!” she called again at a volume that hurt her own ears. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!”

They still took no notice of her. Spike belted out something about somepony named Leroy as he stabbed a cockatrice in the belly with his trident. The princess continued to silently fire white hot solar plasma into another cockatrice’s face.

Twilight huffed, cancelling her spell. Obviously they were just too focused on the battle to notice her, she rationalized. She needed to get closer to them. Quickly, she looked around at what was available at hoof, locating a cloud that a pegasus was pushing in an attempt to hit a cockatrice with lightning. ‘That’ll do’ Twilight thought to herself, quickly casting a cloudwalking spell upon herself and casting a teleport spell.

She landed atop the cloud with a soft ‘puff.’ Turning to the pegasus pushing it she lit her horn and levitated the cloud away from him. “Sorry, I’ll bring this back, thank you!” she called, not noticing how the pegasus didn’t seem to react at all to her presence, despite her stealing his cloud.

Twilight swiftly maneuvered the cloud through the fray like a flying carpet, sailing towards her mentor and assistant, paying no heed to the curious lack of attention she seemed to be getting. In mere moments, she had levitated the cloud right up astride Spike and Celestia.

“Spike! Princess! I’m here!” she cried out to them, firing a bolt of magic into the eyes of an incoming cockatrice. “How can I help?!” she asked.

She got no response. Spike said something to Princess Celestia about being unable to get ahold of her and the Princess replied something about being busy. Neither of them paid any mind to Twilight.

“Princess?” Twilight called. “Spike? What’s going on?! Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Booyahkashaa!” Spike cried as he leapt from Celestia’s back onto the back of a cockatrice, digging his trident deep into the back of its neck. “I AM THE ÜBERDRACHEN!”

Twilight’s teeth grit as a fire burned behind her eyes. Her mane was curled and disorderly and starting to smolder. “Princess! Spike! Stop ignoring me!”

And then

They all flew away

The cockatrices all took wing and retreated at once. Their massive dragon wings carried them to the horizon and beyond in mere moments. The pegasi all suddenly descended or flew off into the horizons themselves and the unicorns and earth ponies on the ground all suddenly seemed to return to their business in the city, all traces of panic gone. Buildings that had toppled over became instantaneously fixed as rubble and mortar lifted itself off the ground and back into place, like somepony had hit a rewind button on the destruction. Fires extinguished themselves and smoke and dust drifted away on the breeze. Anypony that had turned to stone was suddenly and inexplicably freed. And Celestia and Spike both quickly descended into the city and beyond Twilight’s sight, without even a word to her.

The battle that had previously been raging and warring above Canterlot, tearing her hometown to shreds… had suddenly and inexplicably stopped without even a word. And the whole thing took less than half a minute.

Twilight sat there on her cloud above the city, her mouth hanging open. Part of her wanted to cry. After all, both the Princess and Spike, two of the people she loved most in the world, had completely ignored her just then. Part of her wanted to scream out in frustration that she hadn’t been any help at all during the battle and that she’d gotten no answers or help whatsoever with the whole ‘lost in another world thing.’

Most of her, however, just wanted to sit there with her mouth hanging open as she wondered just what the flying flock happened.

After a few minutes of sitting there, trying to rationalize what had just occurred, her mind started to finally piece itself back together. Slowly, she descended back into the street, everypony else in the town square giving her an oddly wide berth.

“Alright… think, Twilight. Retrace your hoofsteps,” she said, tapping the side of her head with a hoof. “You flew in on the ship… no cockatrices above Canterlot then. Teleport into the Princess’s chambers. No cockatrices. Wander around the castle. No cockatrices. Enter the throne room. Suddenly cockatrices. City in peril. Everypony panicking. Fight cockatrices for five minutes. Suddenly no cockatrices again and the city is fixed in seconds…” Twilight shook her head, looking around the square. “And nobody but one or two of the cockatrices themselves seems to have even NOTICED me!” she shouted, stamping a hoof angrily. 

Turning her head, she glared angrily at the crowd that seemed to simultaneously be intentionally giving her a wide berth, but also seemed to be oblivious to her existence. It was paradoxically infuriating in all the wrong ways.

Twilight cantered towards the crowd, only for the crowd to move away from her as she came near, still seeming not to notice her existence and still just seeming to go about their business. Twilight seethed, gritting her teeth and growling. She lit her horn and activated another teleport, right into the middle of the crowd.

“YOU!” She shouted, grabbing at the nearest pony she could as soon as she reappeared in a flash of light. The pony in question happened to be a walleyed gray pegasus mare that Twilight recognized as Derpy Hooves from back in Ponyville. “Derpy! Why are you ignoring me?! Why is everypony ignoring me?!”

The walleyed pegasus seemed to struggle in her grip, but her expression didn’t change from her usual state of vaguely puzzled contentment, despite the unicorn’s tight hold upon her shoulders. Derpy didn’t even seem to look at her. Sure, the pegasus’ eyes were directed at her face… usually… but they were glassy and seemed to gaze right through her, never looking the unicorn in the eyes.

Twilight stared into Derpy’s unresponsive face for a few moments, a tear of frustration trickling down her cheek, before letting go of the blonde mare. Derpy didn’t even acknowledge that she’d been stopped and just continued aimlessly wandering on her way.

“RAAAAGHHHHH!” Twilight screamed, stamping her hoof hard into the pavement. “What is going ON around here?!” she cried.

“They can’t hear you.” Came a voice from behind her.

Twilight whipped around to see Mario standing in the center of the town square. Behind him stood Link and Samus, who had armored herself again, and from behind the two of them, Applejack and Fluttershy rushed out towards her. Sniffling, Twilight fell back on her haunches and opened her arms, letting the two of them fall into a hug atop her.

The three ponies all spent a while hugging as the three humans approached them. Samus’ face was indistinguishable behind her visor, but both Link and Mario’s faces were set into sad frowns.

Applejack and Fluttershy soon released Twilight from the group hug. “What do you mean they can’t hear me?” she asked. “Why can’t they see or hear me, Mario?”

Mario sighed. “Because these aren’t your people, Twilight.”

Twilight blinked through her teary eyes. “What are you talking about?” she sniffled. “This is Canterlot Square! Princess Celestia and Spike were just flying overhead! Hay,” she pointed out a mint green unicorn shuffling aimlessly through the crowd “I recognize some of these ponies! That’s Lyra! She was my freshman roommate at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns!”

Samus scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Twilight. I thought you were supposed to be a genius or something.” Twilight winced, her lower lip trembling. Link punched Samus in her armored arm. “Well she is!” she protested from beneath her visor.

Mario pinched the bridge of his massive nose, his moustache wiggling. “Samus, please.” he said.

The bounty hunter shrugged. “Yeah, yeah.” She said, exasperated. “We can’t keep coddling them though. If they’re here, they’ve gotta learn to adapt.”

Fluttershy fidgeted. “Mario, can you tell her what’s going on like you told me and Applejack? I don’t think we can explain it.”

The red-capped plumber nodded. “Of course.” Mario turned to Twilight, motioning at the ponies milling about the town square aimlessly. “These-a ponies you see? They aren’t real. They’re just constructs.”

“Constructs?” Twilight asked, wiping her snout with a hoof. “You mean like golems?”

Link nodded enthusiastically. Mario blinked and shrugged. “I don’t know what a golem is, but Link seems to think that’s a good explanation.”

Twilight shook her head. “But I recognize these ponies! Some of them have even talked!”

“They were made by the Smashworld, Twilight.” Mario insisted. “When a contestant comes here, the world, or perhaps the Master, takes information from their memories, and uses them to create places and constructs to populate the world.”

“So…” Twilight looked around. “None of these ponies are real, and the only reason they’re all walking around is because I remember them in some way?”

“Exactly!” Mario said with a nod.

Twilight looked back and forth across the crowd. “But it’s all so real!”

“That’s the point.” Mario said. “Everything is how you remember it. Your mind has made it real.”

“But why?” Twilight protested, stamping her hoof, tears dropping from her eyes once again. “Why would this world or this Master do this? Why torture us all by reminding us of home?”

“You gotta remember Twilight,” Samus cut in, “most of us are here by choice.”

“It’s… weird.” Mario admitted. “I don’t know if any of us have ever been comfortable with having our worlds and our friends recreated, but having them all be unable to see or hear or talk to us. But we’ve always been here because we wanted to come. And we always knew that, when people we knew showed up, they were never real.” He shrugged. “We’re in an entirely different world. How could they be?”

Twilight slumped to the ground. Applejack held her in a tight hug, patting her on the back. “It’ll be okay, Sugarcube.” she assured. “It just means we gotta watch some creepy ponies walking here and there. No biggie.”

“But why?” Twilight asked. “And why aren’t you upset about this, girls?”

“We are.” Fluttershy said. “I mean, it seems cruel to do this, but...”

“But we didn’t go runnin’ off like a fool rabbit fleein’ from a rattlesnake.” Applejack quipped. “We let Mario explain and we expected it. Y’all went and got your hopes up, only to get them crushed.”

Twilight’s head drooped. “But I still don’t understand why it would be this way? Why would the world or the Master or whatever runs this place go out of its way to scan our memories and then recreate our homes and friends?” She shook her head. “And what was with the giant cockatrice attack?!”

Mario shook his head. “The Master’s never explained why. We have theories. Most of us think that it’s because it gives us advantages in combat to fight in places we’re familiar with, knowing the lay of the land and all, and the constructs make it more authentic. Some think it’s because the Master likes to toy with our emotions. A few think it’s just because the Master, deep down, just really likes our worlds and wishes he could spend time in them, but has to settle for making knock-offs of them.” He shrugged. “We really aren’t sure.”

“As for the attack,” Samus said. “Sometimes things will happen in these places, especially when the fighting begins. We think it’s because it changes up the match and makes it more interesting, forcing us to adapt on the fly to changing battlefield situations. Monsters will drop in and start attacking, storms will blow in, floors will collapse, giant robots burst through the wall… They never last long though.”

“So… it’s all just to make it into a big show?” Twilight whimpered.

“More or less.” Samus said. 

Twilight slumped, falling back into the grasps of her friends. “It all just seems so...” she shivered, “I don’t even know. This is too much.”

Samus stepped up to the weeping pony. The huntress knelt down on one knee, her visor sliding open to reveal her face. “Twilight, would you like to head back?” she asked, her voice low. “We can leave the scouting to everyone else.” 

Twilight sighed. “Yeah. I think that sounds good.”

Samus smirked. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the ship.” She stood up.

“Yeah…” Twilight mumbled. “I think I just… I need to lie down.”

“Oh!” Mario suddenly grinned. “Wait until you get to your room. I think that’ll cheer you up!”

“Huh?” All three ponies echoed as they stood up, ready to follow the huntress back to the ship. 

“You’ll see.” Mario winked.



*     *     *



The flight back to the Acropolis was uneventful. Applejack and, surprisingly, Fluttershy spent the time staring out the windows and windshield at the world below as they flew past, pointing out interesting landmarks that would likely be their future hangouts, and potentially battlefields. Mario, Samus, and Link appeared to recognize some of them, but beyond Canterlot, the ponies didn’t happen to see anything they recognized from Equestria.

Twilight, on the other hand, spent the ride back in the living quarters, sitting on Samus’ couch and staring at the wall. The little unicorn was exhausted and emotionally drained after such a trying day. Where before her mind had been racing at a million miles a minute, now she seemed nearly catatonic. When the others had expressed concern over this, she had merely said she was tired and needed to be left alone. Reluctantly, they had let her be, Samus directing her to a drink dispenser in the corner if she wanted anything. Twilight was currently nursing a mug of hot apple cider, though to her it tasted very bland and watery compared to the apple ciders she was used to.

“We’re here!” Samus called from the front room. Twilight sighed, placing her half full mug on the coffee table and shuffling into the front room. 

Applejack and Fluttershy gasped. Twilight cocked an eyebrow, impressed, but far too exhausted to do much more than that.

The three of them had not gotten a good look at the Acropolis when they had previously left, and now that they saw it upon their return, it was truly a sight to behold. Sitting at the top of a massive mountain, overlooking an endless ocean, it stretched into the heavens, like it was trying to touch the stars themselves. Pointed spires and rounded turrets climbed into the sky, tickling at the clouds. It gleamed in the fading sunlight, reflecting the dancing light bouncing off the ocean. Stained glass windows decorated the walls, depicting people that they had seen in the hall when they had first arrived in situations that seemed truly impossible. And yet, while parts of it looked like they belonged on the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters or Canterlot Castle itself, ancient and imposing, other parts looked incredibly modern, like the high-rises of Manehattan or Vanhoover, with steel and mortar construction and modern, minimalistic appearances. Even still other parts looked futuristic, like something out of one of Spike’s comic books. Massive metal towers with glowing inlaid green and blue lines running through them. Parts of it didn’t even look like it was built, but rather grown, as massive vines and trees crawled up and down parts of the structure. The building was covered in balconies, statues, and massive decorative structures from seemingly every era and origin. In some ways, it hardly looked like a castle or acropolis, but instead almost like the downtown of a city, bridging time and space as its skyscrapers climbed high into the air. And yet, despite the mishmash of past, present, and future and natural and constructed before them, it all looked somehow seamless, as though it was just right for it to look that way.

“Coming in for a landing. Everybody hold tight.” Samus warned, her visor blinking red. 

Link and Mario quickly sat down in a couple of seats that folded out from the wall and buckled themselves in. The ponies quickly followed their lead, strapping themselves into chairs on the opposite side of the cockpit. 

The thrusters roared and the ship lurched as the forward momentum slowed and the ship began to hover, streams of fire belching out of the bottom. Samus said nothing as the ship gently lowered down onto a balcony jutting out of one of the more futuristic looking spires of the Acropolis.

“Hoo-wee.” Applejack said, rubbing at her ear. “That sure was a loud landin’.” Fluttershy agreed with a nod and a whimper as she covered her ears with her hooves.

“Everybody out.” Samus said. “I’ve gotta take the ship to the hangar. I’ll see you all later.”

“Bye Samus!” Applejack said, tipping her hat as she trotted up to the elevator. “Sorry ‘bout the rocky start.”

“Don’t mention it.” She said, absentmindedly waving an armored hand.

Applejack and Fluttershy rode up on the elevator to the roof of the ship. Twilight nodded her thanks as well. “Thank you, Samus. Sorry for the trouble I caused.”

Samus nodded. “Don’t worry about it. You just get some rest.”

Twilight left the ship via the elevator, followed by Mario and Link. As soon as the five of them had climbed down from the roof of the ship, their feet planted on the luminescent metal ground, the gunship roared to life again and flew off towards another section of the Acropolis.

“Well then!” Mario said enthusiastically. “Would you three care to find your rooms?”

The three ponies all nodded. “Are they far from here?” Applejack started to ask, only to be interrupted by a whirring noise from behind her. The farmpony turned and nearly jumped out of her skin as she peered into two big, black, soulless eyes staring down at her. “Whoa, Nelly!” she yelped, jumping back and scrabbling across the floor a few feet.

The rest of the ponies turned to see a big gray and red robot peering down at them. The robot seemed to be vaguely humanoid in shape, but only in a bare bones sense. It had a head, but it merely seemed to be two big black eyes inside a rectangular, boxy casing. The head was attached to a long rod which jutted straight down at a ninety degree angle and attached to a hexagonal, hovering platform. Moving up and down along the rod that made up its body was a pair of rigid, ramrod straight arms with small pincers at the ends for hands. The robot beeped and booped at the five of them.

“What is that?” Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her mane and curling up a little.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry!” Mario assured them, raising his gloved hands. “This is a friend!”

“Really?” Twilight asked.

“How are you doing, R.O.B?” Mario addressed the robot.

The robot beeped and blipped at him.

Mario smiled. “That’s good to hear,” he said, reaching out and patting the robot on its shoulder. “And the rest of the R.O.Bs are doing well?”

More beeping.

“Good!” Mario grinned, his moustache wiggling. He motioned to the ponies, who had now all dropped their guarded stance and were looking at the robot fascinatedly. “This is Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy,” he introduced.

“Hello.”

“Howdy!”

“...meep.”

The robot beeped at them and rigidly bent its head and body down in a respectful, if mechanical bow.

“R.O.B...” Twilight mused, tapping her chin. “You’re the one that won the last tournament, right?”

R.O.B gave off a quick trilling noise, its head nodding rapidly and its arms spinning around its torso.

“Since then, he’s basically been acting as a butler here at the Acropolis.” Mario explained. “The R.O.Bs like to be useful and help people however they can. You’ll be seeing a lot of them around here.”

R.O.B. chirped and rolled over to Applejack, beeping and pointing to her hat.

Applejack blinked for a moment before deducing the meaning. “Err, thank you kindly, but no. I’d rather keep it on.” R.O.B nodded and rolled back to Mario.

“R.O.B, the three of them are tired and are looking to rest in their rooms.” Mario explained to the robot. “Would you mind leading us to the dormitory?”

R.O.B. beeped and chirped, his arms spinning about his midsection again. His head spun a hundred and eighty degrees and started rolling towards a large door at the end of the balcony. Mario followed with a smile. “Let’s-a go, girls!”

The three ponies all looked between each other for a moment before they were encouraged forward by Link. Shrugging, the three of them followed the robot and plumber into the massive spire.

Despite the outside of the spire’s futuristic appearance, the inside looked practically gothic. Large arches and columns stretched above their heads, gargoyles looking down from the rafters. Statues of various people and creatures lined the corridor, and Twilight swore she even saw a few that might have been shaped like ponies. The walls were lined with paintings of people and creatures, many of which looked similar to the ones she saw in the hall when they arrived. Others looked like the statues and others she couldn’t place. Carefully tended to houseplants could be seen in vases on fancy endtables or in pots on the floor, and the walls were papered with a golden and red trim. The floor was carpeted with a soft, plush, red patterned carpet. The whole place was, in a word, excessive.

“Yeesh” Applejack muttered as she trotted past another R.O.B who was dutifully watering a houseplant. “Rarity would have a field day here.”

“The dormitory area is a bit more sensible.” Mario explained. “The rooms themselves, though… well you’ll see.” He said with a mischievous smirk.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I’m up for any more surprises, Mario.”

“Trust-a me, Twilight.” Mario said, grinning. “You’ll like this one.”

The robot led them through the hallways and into an elevator, which took them down to another section of the tower. This one seemed to be more modern and far more practical. Twilight looked around to see white painted walls with a very few paintings of landscapes on them. The floors were regular hardwood with blue rugs over sections of them and only the occasional plant or decoration.

The ponies were led to a large gridlike area. Dozens of rooms lay out before them in a rudimentary maze, each sectioned off from one another by a hallway.

“So how does this work?” Applejack asked. “Do we jus’ pick whatever room we want?”

“You can pick any room that still has an opening” Mario said, pointing to a door. On the front of the door was a picture of a young-ish looking boy wearing a gold laurel wreath on his head, and next to it was another picture, this one of a strange blue creature wearing a mask that concealed its entire face save for its glowing yellow eyes. “This is Pit and Meta Knight’s room.” Mario explained. “If you find a room with only one picture on it, that means that there’s still a spot up for grabs in that room. And if you find a room with no pictures that means there’s nobody in that room at all yet. Somebody will eventually be along to pick the room and be your roommate though.” Mario raised a finger. “There’s just one rule, though.” he said.

“What’s that?” Twilight asked.

“Well,” Mario said, “the point of this tournament, despite its nature, is still to make friendships across worlds. So, in the first tournament, and in every tournament since, The Master has decreed that, excepting in the case of lovers or spouses, nobody can room with anyone else from their own world.”

“Seriously?” Twilight said. Applejack blanched and Fluttershy shivered. “We can’t stick together?”

“You can try to get neighboring rooms if you can arrange it,” Mario explained, “but you can’t room together, no.” He cleared his throat. “I’d also suggest trying to steer clear of anyone you know you wouldn’t get along with,” he said, scratching behind his head. “People of the more... self-serving persuasion, you know. That’s not a rule, just more of a suggestion.”

“I don’t think any of us plan on rooming with anybody evil if we can help it.” Twilight mused, looking around. “Still, it looks like most of these rooms have been claimed by at least one person already. We’d better hurry if we want to try finding rooms that are close to one another.”

Link and Mario nodded. “We’ll leave you to it, girls. I’m afraid we have somewhere we need to be.”

“Y’all ain’t sticking around?” Applejack asked.

“Sorry.” Mario said with a sheepish smile. “Duty calls, but we’ll see you girls tomorrow at breakfast. Until then, enjoy your rooms. I’m sure you’ll find them one of the best things about this place!” Mario winked as he and Link followed R.O.B. off into another section of the complex. “Until tomorrow, girls!”

“Bye Mario.” Twilight said, waving a hoof.

“Later, Partner!”

“See you tomorrow.”

Twilight looked between the other two. “Well, girls? Ready to pick out roommates?”

Fluttershy shuffled a hoof against the plain blue rug. “I don’t know. I think I’d rather find a room to myself.”

“Y’all heard Mario,” Applejack said, draping a hoof over Fluttershy’s withers. “Everypony gets a roommate here. And if you don’t pick a room that already has a roommate then Celestia knows who could eventually choose you.”

Fluttershy considered this before looking around at the pictures on the doors. To her left was a room already owned by a sinister looking bearded man with green skin. To her right was a crazy looking beaked creature with spiraling glasses and a wizard hat. Behind her, a thin but imposing looking redheaded woman in purple pirate garb. In front of her was Queen Chrysalis.

Fluttershy whimpered and covered her face with her hooves. “N-no… I think I’d rather take my chances.”

Applejack sighed. “Alright, Sugarcube. Let’s see if we can find a hole that don’t already got a snake in it.”

“How about over here?” Twilight suggested, calling from a couple hallways over. Applejack and Fluttershy quickly followed the sound of her voice to find Twilight pointing at a room with no occupants, nestled in between two rooms that were already occupied by a contender. “You can take the middle one, Fluttershy,” Twilight explained, “and we can take the ones on either side. That way, if you have a problem, you can come to one of us.”

“A-alright.” Fluttershy said. “I guess that sounds okay.”

“And don’t you worry none, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, patting Fluttershy’s back with a hoof. “If your roommate gives y’all any trouble, I’ll buck some sense into ‘em.”

Fluttershy smiled softly. “Thank you girls.” Fluttershy reached for the doorknob with a hoof. “Guess it’s time to see what’s so special about these rooms?” she asked.

Twilight nodded. “I admit, I’m curious,” she said, urging Fluttershy on by waving a hoof in her direction.

Fluttershy gulped and reached out to grasp the handle in her hoof, twisting the doorknob and pulling it open.

The three ponies gasped.

Before them stretched a fairly spacious room. Square in shape, it was at least a good thirty by thirty feet, a fair bit larger than the average hotel room. The ceiling was a good 20 feet or so over their heads, likely to accommodate some of the larger contestants that they’d seen wandering around the great hall. Half of the room seemed bare, with a simple white-tiled floor and white walls. Of course, none of this elicited the gasp from the collected ponies.

That was the doing of the other half of the room.

The first thing they noticed was the animals. A couple dozen small, woodland creatures were running around half of the room, ranging from squirrels and bunnies to hedgehogs and songbirds. The lot of them emerged from their various dens and burrows and birdhouses as the ponies opened the door, squeaking and chirping happily in greeting. A number of them scampered up to the door and rubbed up against Fluttershy’s hooves to greet her.

“What in the world?” Twilight gasped, blinking at the sight before her. Even forgetting about the inexplicable presence of the animals, the room was exquisitely furnished. A large, oaken, princess sized bed was nestled into the corner of the room, covered in fluffy pink and blue quilts and blankets, with a large, overstuffed pink pillow sitting neatly at the head of the bed. The floor was carpeted a soft, sea green and the walls of that half of the room were made of a beautiful aged cherry wood and adorned with pictures of Fluttershy and her friends, both animal and pony. Next to the bed sat a sizable bookshelf, carved with reliefs of butterflies and flowers along its sides. It was filled with all sorts of books, ranging from animal care books, to biology textbooks, both wide ranged and specialized, to a small collection of romance novels. A small wooden examination table sat at the other end of the room, next to a large, crackling, cobblestone fireplace, already lit and with a whistling teakettle hanging over it. A large, green duvet with fluffy yellow pillows was set against the wall. Finely carved cupboards and drawers were built into the walls up near the ceiling, presumably containing animal feed, medicine, and tea and china. A circular blue table and a small chair sat in the middle of the room, decorated with a lit, yellow candle and a pink, lacey tablecloth. A number of colorful plants and flowers were arranged all about the room in fine clay pots, brightening up the already cheerful and fluffy room. From the ceiling hung a number of birdhouses, all distinct and colorful, and all inhabited by an adorable little songbird or two, as well as a number of colorful paper lanterns which lit up the room invitingly. Meanwhile, burrows were dug out in the walls along the floor, where an assortment of bunnies, mice, squirrels, hedgehogs, otters and moles lived.

“It’s…” Fluttershy stammered, “it’s perfect!” With a squeal she dashed into the room, cooing over the assorted woodland creatures, scratching behind their ears and rubbing their bellies, giving attention to each and every one of them.

Applejack stepped inside, looking around warily. “How in Equestria is all of this possible?”

“This world never stops surprising.” Twilight confirmed. “Somehow this place actually seems to have built Fluttershy her perfect room.”

“How in the hay does that work?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.

Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea. It’s certainly fascinating though…” she trailed off, tapping her chin. “If I had to guess it must have somehow gotten the image of her perfect room from her mind when she chose this as her room, the same way this place has created other locations from our memories outside the Acropolis.”

Applejack motioned to the woodland creatures that were now playfully dogpiling Fluttershy as the yellow pegasus giggled gleefully. “And the critters?”

Twilight shrugged. “Probably more constructs, like the ones we saw in the fake Canterlot. These ones seem to be behaving very differently, though. They seem fixated upon her rather than forced to ignore her.” Twilight shook her head. “Of course, all I can do is hypothesize at the moment without… further investigation.” Twilight hemmed and hawed.

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “What are you thinking, Twi?”

“I’m just thinking… everything here works so differently from how it works in Equestria.” She rubbed her hooves together. “Just think of all the things we could learn from this place with the proper research!” she giggled.

The farm pony rolled her eyes. “Y’all know that sorta thinkin’ is why I thought y’all brought us here on purpose, right?”

“Believe me, AJ.” Twilight said. “If I could take us home I would. I want nothing more than to see Spike and the Princess and our friends again. And it’s frustrating to know that I can’t. But as long as we’re here, we might as well learn what we can about this place and the people here, right? We need to make the best of this situation.”

Applejack pushed her hat over her eyes and grumbled. “I guess.”

“Oooh!” Twilight grinned, clapping her hooves together. “I just have to see what kind of room I’ll get now!” Twilight said turning to the door.

“What about Fluttershy?” Applejack asked. “You think she’ll be okay?”

Twilight looked to her shy friend. The yellow pegasus now sat on the bed under a veritable mountain of happy woodland creatures. A soft contented giggle emerged from the pile of fur every so often.

“...I think she’ll be fine,” Twilight said with a chuckle.

With a shrug Applejack followed Twilight out of the room, closing the door behind them. “Alrighty,” she began. “I think I’ve had enough excitement for today,” the farm pony said motioning to the room next door with her head. “I think I’m gonna turn in.”

“You sure, Applejack?” Twilight asked. “You don’t want to explore anymore?”

“Twi,” Applejack sighed, “I’m plum tuckered out. I ain’t a clever pony like you. I’m just a farm gal outta my element. I ain’t interested in figurin’ out why a giant hand can make a freaky world like this or if our bedrooms mess with our brains or nuthin’. I just want to go home, and iff’n I can’t do that, then I just want to get some rest and maybe get my mind off all this weirdness.”

Twilight nodded. “Alright AJ. I understand,” she said, patting the farmpony on the shoulder. “I hope you feel better after a good night’s rest.”

“Yeah,” Applejack said, noncommittally. “Goodnight, Twilight.”

“‘Night, AJ!” Twilight said with a nod. And with that, the two ponies turned away from each other and trotted off to their respective rooms on either side of Fluttershy, her happy laughter still ringing through the door.



*     *     *



Twilight took a deep breath, looking at the door to the room she’d be staying in for the foreseeable future. Twilight looked back and forth from the handle to the picture on the door. This room already had an occupant apparently, though by all rights Twilight couldn’t tell what her new roommate was supposed to be.

“Doesn’t look threatening though…” Twilight said, looking closely at the picture on the door. The purple unicorn took a deep breath. “I guess there’s no point in putting it off. Time to meet some new friends,” she said, resolve entering her voice. With a nod and a glow of her horn, the door to her room opened.

Books suddenly sprang into existence.

Half of the room suddenly became one massive bookshelf carved into the wall, packed from end to end with an assortment of hundreds upon hundreds of books. Some of which Twilight would recognize; most of which, though, she would only be able to guess at the origin of. The floor was a natural hardwood, like her room in the library back in Ponyville. Pulled slightly away from the wall was a prince sized bed covered in sheets patterned with constellations and stars and colored a deep blue, much like her old bed back home. There was a large antique mahogany writing desk next to the bed, covered in pictures of her friends, family, and the Princesses. In the corner was a long table, covered in scientific equipment. Microscopes, beakers, bunsen burners, and dozens upon dozens of other specialized equipment covered the table from end to end. There was even a large, boxy magitek computer on one end, something that Twilight had only seen once when she still lived at the university! And next to the table sat her old electroencephalogram from her basement that she used to try and understand Pinkie sense. 

Twilight didn’t pay attention to any of it yet. Instead, she focused on the other side of the room, which seemed to be mostly bare. The only two things to see there were a small, square, wooden bed covered by a blue, starry sheet, similar to Twilight’s and an admittedly massive refrigerator next to it.

That, and the room’s occupant.

A pink, spherical creature slept soundly on the bed, snoring in a squeaky, high pitched voice. It had little pink flaps for arms and big red feet, and beyond that, very few defining features. Its big eyes were closed and it’s mouth was open and breathing steadily in an “o” shape.

Twilight quietly entered the room and closed the door. “Um… Hello?” she called out to the creature.

The creature didn’t respond at all. Its foot twitched a little while he slept, but other than that, it remained silent.

Twilight tapped her chin. On the one hoof, she wanted to meet her new roommate as soon as possible. Twilight was certainly eager to make new friends, like the contest meant her to, and she was incredibly eager to ask this new creature all about its world. On the other hoof, she wasn’t sure how he’d react if he was awoken from his nap. She didn’t want to get off to a bad start with her new roommate, after all. Especially if she was going to be stuck with him for months.

Twilight approached the bed as quietly as she could, looking closely at her new roommate, still debating whether or not to wake him. As she approached, the little pink ball of fluff turned over in his sleep, so that she was looking directly into his admittedly adorable face.

And then the creature yawned.

Twilight yelped as a massive gust suddenly blew through the room. It felt like all the air in the room was suddenly blowing right into the little pink ball’s mouth with all the force of a hurricane. “What in the world?!” Twilight shouted, scrabbling for footing as she tried to keep herself from being blown off her own hooves and into the creature’s mouth as it continued its interminable yawn. Twilight alit her horn and attempted to cast a spell; any spell, to stop the tempest that the creature was creating, but in her state of shock she couldn’t bring herself to concentrate quickly enough and was torn away from the ground.

She screamed as she sailed through the air across the room, straight towards the creature’s gaping maw. Twilight looked into the mouth of the creature and could only gape at what she saw within. A vast void  of nothingness filled the creature. Twilight screamed in terror as she flailed about, holding out her hooves to try and grab something.

Her scream faded from the world as she careened headfirst into the endless void of the creature’s maw.





 




> Ch4: Roster Revealed!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 4: Roster Revealed!


Kirby blinked. Something was wrong. He wasn’t entirely sure what, though.

The little pink puffball went through his mental checklist. He’d had a big, tasty meal before he went to bed. Nothing wrong there. And given the fact that he could very plainly feel something squirming around inside his mouth he had obviously been snacking in his sleep again. Again, no problem there. Still, something nagged at his mind. He tapped his little blobby mitt against his chin, scrunching up his face and sucking on the purple and pink tail that was sticking out of his mouth. It tasted like blackberries.

And then it hit him. Eyes popping open, he reached under the bed, pulling out a little, golden alarm clock. Kirby blanched at where the little hand was on the clock’s face. He was late!


*     *     *


“My Faust, it’s full of stars”

Twilight’s breath caught as she gazed upon the majesty laid out before her. It was like the entire universe had presented itself before her gaze. Stars and nebulas and cosmic wonders as far as her puny mortal eyes could see. They twinkled in the distance, as if inviting her to come explore their mysteries. Massive dust clouds sparkling millions of miles away orbited singularities invisible to the eye, and stars went out in supernovas billions of years away. The vastness of the universe made Twilight feel utterly insignificant as the wonder and incomprehensibility of it all consumed her. She felt her mind slipping away as her petty problems seemed to become irrelevant. Dangling by her tail, the endlessness of the universe stretching out beneath her, she felt herself being swept up in a blast of color as a feeling of lightheadedness washed over her. The universe went red, then blue, then green, then purple. Colors reversed themselves and patterns danced before her eyes. Everything went negative, then refracted, then intensified. The feeling was beyond the description of the words of mere mortals.

And then the creature spit her out.

Kirby coughed a little and Twilight flew across the room, tumbling tail over teakettle until she came to a rest against her new bed. Twilight shook her head, shaking off saliva and sending it flying. The feelings of enlightenment slipped away from her as the world came back into focus. Blinking, she saw her little puffball of a roommate snatching an apple from his massive fridge and biting into it. Still panting and catching her breath, she shakily got to her hooves. It was only then that her roommate even seemed to notice her presence. The little creature turned to look at her as it bit down on the apple again, reducing it to nothing but a core. Swallowing, it waved a little pink fin at her.

“Hiiiiiii~!”

Her roommate then swallowed the apple core and hopped off his bed, waddling out the door and shutting it behind him.

Twilight blinked. The purple mare tried to comprehend the implications of what she had seen; to understand the vastness of what she had just witnessed. There was seemingly an entire universe: a complete, endless abyss of space, somehow stuffed inside that tiny pink creature. Her mind tried to wrap itself around it all, on top of the utter madness that she had seen in just the past few hours, now she was rooming with a creature that was, in a word, impossible. She could write a whole series of encyclopedias on the pink creature alone. Generations of archmages, alchemists, and scientists could study it and still not reach the end of its potential, and that was only covering one of the creatures here in the Smashworld. She needed to study it. She needed to learn everything there was to know about it. She needed… 

...she needed...

“...Nope,” she said, crawling into bed.

She was out in seconds.


*     *     *


Applejack gazed at the door in front of her and grumbled. Idly, the farmer wondered whether or not to go through with this. As much as she wanted to uphold her promise to Fluttershy, she did not like the looks of her potential roommate. 

The picture on the door told her pretty much everything she needed to know. Poofy hair done up all fancy. A great big dress with a jewel in the center of it that looked like it could fund the Apple family farm for generations. A smug looking smirk that reeked of self importance, exactly like the ones the Canterlot nobility seemed to strut around with when she went to the Grand Galloping Gala. A tiara on her head obviously denoted that the person inside was one of “class and prestige” as Rarity might say, and the gaudy jewelry and silken gloves suggested that whoever was within was obviously a person of some level of importance and wealth. 

Applejack grumbled. As much as she wanted to uphold her promise to Fluttershy, she was NOT looking forward to rooming with a frou-frouey princess. She could barely take Rarity in small doses. Spending the foreseeable months rooming with someone like her? She’d probably go insane.

The farmer shuddered. Still, she had made a promise to Fluttershy, and she upheld her promises. She’d hardly be the element of honesty if she didn’t. Besides, she knew that her kindly friend would need the support.

Biting the bullet, Applejack reached up and grabbed the door handle, giving it a firm twist and yanking the door open.

Forty pounds of sandbag suddenly smacked her in the face.

Applejack stumbled back as she was pinned beneath a massive punching bag, a rope dangling from its top frayed and torn. The white bag seemed to have eyes painted on its side, and perhaps it was the blow to the head, but Applejack swore she saw the eyes blink. Shaking the disorientation off, she heard a voice cry out.

“Ohmigosh, are you okay?!”

Applejack blinked blearily, heaving the massive punching bag  off of herself as she struggled to breathe, having been winded by the impact. Looking up, she saw the woman from the picture on her door looking down at her. She didn’t look anything like she did in the picture though. Her short, rusty red hair was soaked with sweat and there wasn’t a trace of fancy dress or jewelry anywhere on her person. Her crown had been replaced by a yellow and white striped sweat band and her dress had been swapped out for a yellow, midriff-baring tank top with a white and green stylized flower printed on the front and orange gym shorts, the whole outfit revealing her freckled shoulders and knees. While the picture on the door only showed her roommate from the waist up, Applejack had guessed that she’d find her roommate wearing fancy high heels. Instead, she was wearing ankle-high gym socks and yellow trainers. Her body was dripping with perspiration and she was panting deeply, as if she’d just come off of a rigorous workout. And judging by the lean but very visible muscles running up and down her arms and the tight abs she sported, it was likely that she had. 

The woman huffed and puffed for a moment, her hands on her knees as she leaned over Applejack. 

“Lemme help you up,” she said, extending an arm out to the pony. Applejack blinked for a moment before accepting the bandage-wrapped hand. The girl grabbed her hoof with a grip nopony could have ever expected given how dainty and well-manicured her hand seemed to be. With a heave, Applejack was pulled to her hooves again.

“Thank ya kindly,” Applejack said with a cough. She peered into the room behind the woman, spying a room that looked surprisingly spartan for what she assumed was a princess given the picture on the door. Opting not to pry for the moment, she held out her hoof to greet the woman. “Name’s Applejack,” she said, hopefully.

“Hi!” the woman said, grabbing the hoof and shaking it enthusiastically. “I’m Daisy!”


*     *     *


Samus stalked through the halls, her face set in a pensive frown. She was admittedly known around the Acropolis as a dour sort, save to a select few people. But if one was to observe her right now, one might sense that she was excessively grumpy today.

And who could blame her? After all, not only was there the mystery of the four ponies who had appeared in the Smashworld without their consent or knowledge of what they were getting into, but the number of purportedly villainous characters that she was going to have to deal with this time was higher than it had ever been before.

“Hello, Samus.”

And one of those villains was a genocidal maniac who had killed her parents.

Samus stopped in her tracks, putting on the helmet she’d been carrying in the crook of her arm and sealing it with a hiss. She felt something shift behind her and turned around to see a massive purple tail with a wicked-looking barb on the end dangling from above her. All at once, a sickening purple and red, gangly mass dropped from the ceiling with a soft thump at her feet. The clawed, spiked creature unfurled a set of deadly-spiked wings and fluidly opened its limbs, standing up slowly and revealing a long, beaked face with a long mouth stretching up its skull, set in a permanent, malicious grin. Its yellow eyes were slitted and seemed to glow from inside, and a sharp, scythe-like crest stretched back a couple feet from its head. Its talons flexed and it tapped its raptor-like claws on the ground as it stretched and popped its spindly, yet muscular joints. The barbed tail swished back and forth behind it, every single vertebra along it visible through its purplish, scaly skin, and its chest heaved with every breath, ribs plainly visible beneath its pectorals. The creature opened its mouth, revealing rows of needle-like teeth and a flexible dripping tongue.

Samus lowered herself into a combat stance, aiming her cannon arm at the monster that had been following her for her whole life.

“Ridley…” she growled.

“Tsk tsk…” Ridley taunted. “Oh Samus, are you planning to kill me?” he said, his sickening grin widening as he stood up to his full eight-and-a-half-foot height. “I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules, you know. You wouldn’t want that big, floating hand to have to give you a spanking, would you?”

Samus said nothing, merely continuing to aim her cannon at the monster’s face.

“Oh come now,” he sneered, beginning to pace around the huntress, like a shark circling its prey. “I’m not here to fight. I’m just here to talk,” he said raising his claws. “Can’t two old friends take a minute to have a pleasant conversation?”

“Friends?” Samus scoffed. “We were never friends, Ridley.”

“No?” the space dragon chuckled, his tail whipping and slicing the air a mere centimeter from Samus’ visor. “I seem to recall that the first thing an adorable little girl said to me was that we could be friends, no matter how different we were.”

“And I remember a monster proving that little girl couldn’t be more wrong when he slaughtered her entire family in front of her,” Samus growled.

“Oh are you still on about that?” Ridley rolled his slitted eyes and clucked his flexible tongue. “It’s been over twenty years, Samus. When are you going to drop that little mistake?”

Samus took a deep breath through her nose inside her armor, recognizing the veiled taunt for what it was. “Why are you here, Ridley?” she snapped.

“Oh, it’s just been so long since we’ve seen each other, Samus,” Ridley flashed his teeth in a needley grin.

“Bullshit. I fought you only a month ago,” she retorted.

Ridley scoffed. “Oh don’t be stupid, Samus. I know you’re smarter than that. I heard about your adventures since Zebes through the grapevine. You do know that everything attributed to me since then was the work of a clone, right?”

Samus growled. It was true, the scientists of the Galactic Federation had unwittingly cloned Ridley after her second adventure on Zebes. Even the one she had previously fought during the subspace incursion of the Smashworld had been that same clone, and it had not the memories, nor the intelligence of the genuine article, instead acting as a savage, animalistic beast. Though it did seem to retain, somehow, an instinctive hatred of the bounty hunter. 

“Admittedly…” Ridley said, pensively, bringing a claw to his chin in an overly exaggerated gesture. “I suppose this body is a clone as well. My minions managed to replicate the Federation’s cloning technology. Except this time, they managed to upload my old memories into it. Again, stolen from Fed tech.”

Samus thought to her most recent adventure upon the Biologic Space Labs station, where she had discovered the memories of her old C.O., Adam Malkovich, had been stored in her gunship’s computer. If what Ridley was saying was true, it sounded like the Pirates had used similar tech to save the monster’s memories, only this time had managed to put them back into an organic body.

Ridley chuckled. A raspy sound that reminded the huntress of an eagle choking on its prey. “Really, the mind is what makes you who you really are, though. I suppose that makes me 100% the genuine article, doesn’t it, Samus?” he sneered.

“Kinda short to be the real Ridley, don’t you think?” Samus jibed, a sarcastic smirk beneath her helmet.

Samus swore she saw Ridley frown for a split second as he paced around the hunter, his wings flaring a little and his tail cracking like a whip. His visage quickly returned to one of mocking calm, though, as he continued to taunt her. “Yes, I suppose it takes a while to grow back entirely from just a cluster of cells. Alas, I’ve only had a month or two in this new body.”

“That clone of yours grew to be a good twenty feet long in just a couple days,” Samus retorted.

“Oh, but that clone was a moronic, savage piece of meat,” Ridley sneered. “Messing with the growth process tends to affect the brain, don’t you know?” Ridley took on a pouty look. “You wouldn’t want a snarling animal over my charming company, would you?”

“I’d rather be swallowed by Kraid,” Samus snarled, her eyes narrowing.

“Oh, that could be arranged as soon as we get back home, Samus. Kraid sends his regards.” Ridley chuckled, stopping his pacing and standing behind her. “But I’m not interested in fighting you anymore, you see. That’s what I came here to tell you.”

“Oh?” Samus growled, not turning to look at her tormentor.

“Indeed,” Ridley said, with a little hiss, sidling up right behind her and placing his claws on her shoulders. The space dragon brought his face right up next to the huntress’s and grinned. “I’ve decided I don’t want to fight you anymore. I want to take you up on your first offer from all those years ago, Samus. I want to be friends…” He flashed his pearly-white needle teeth at her. “I want us to be best friends.”

Samus snarled. “That offer has been off the table for twenty-five years.”

“Oh, I know,” Ridley said, mock-sorrowfully, pulling his face into another false pout. “Always at odds, you and I.” His face lit up again. “But then I was invited to this wonderful tournament.”

Samus tensed up, her cannon beginning to spark with energy.

“I heard about that wish. That oh-so-tantalizing wish that everybody wants their hands on. At first I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be great to use that wish to wipe out the Federation in one fell swoop? No resistance? No plucky little rebels to fight me after all is said and done?’” The monster shook his head. “But then I thought, ‘No. That’d be much too easy. Where’s the fun in it?’”

Ridley laughed his raspy laugh again. “And then, my dear, my thoughts turned to you.”

Samus’ free hand clenched into a fist. “You wanted to kill me.” It was not a question.

“Oh, Samus, you wound me.” Ridley put a talon to his emaciated chest. “Why would I ever want you dead? Haven’t you figured it out yet?” He leaned in close, whispering in her ear. “You complete me…”

“No, Samus,” he continued, letting go of her and pacing around to face her again. “I thought to myself, ‘Samus is by far the greatest warrior in the galaxy. Greater than even myself.’ Yes I’m humble enough to admit it,” he cocked his head with a snicker. “And I realized something. ‘Wouldn’t it just be wonderful,’ I thought, ‘if Samus were merely to think a little more like I do?’”

Samus’ breathing started to grow heavy and shuddering and her clenched fist started to twitch a little as she stared into Ridley’s eyes. The monster drew his face closer to her visor, looking into her flaming eyes through the green window.

“Wouldn’t it just be excellent,” Ridley continued, “if Samus Aran’s pesky ideals and morals aligned a little more with mine? If I could just... tinker with her thoughts even a little bit? Change one or two little things in that big, beautiful brain of hers?” He sneered, bringing a claw up to tap at Samus’ helmet. “And wouldn’t it just be delightful if when I did that, she’d join my forces? That she’d do so willingly? That she’d downright beg me to be a part of my army?” He laughed a little harder. “Think of what the two of us would do. The Federation’s best and most powerful tool turned against them! Oh, wouldn’t the irony be delicious?”

Samus’ fist twitched as she snarled under her helmet, teeth gritting so hard they felt like they might crack.

“Samus Aran: Premiere general of the Space Pirate army! No force in the universe would be enough to stop us!” Ridley laughed, spraying spittle all over Samus’ visor. “The very thought makes me downright giddy, Samus.” The dragon clicked his teeth at the huntress as he grinned. “And who knows, my dear?” Ridley said, tracing a claw down Samus’ helmet, down her chest and stopping just below her waist. “Perhaps if we spend enough time together we might even become something more than comrades in arms...” 

Samus socked Ridley across the face with her fist.

Ridley stumbled back, scrabbling across the tile as his footclaws fought for purchase. Blinking a little, Ridley worked his jaw, finding his balance. He turned his sickly, grinning face to Samus. “Nice shot,” he said with a chuckle. “I hope you keep that fire alive, Samus. I’d hate for it to be too easy.”

Ridley burst his wings open in one swift motion, causing a massive gust to blow through the hallway. “I’ll see you soon, dearie,” he cackled, lifting off into the air with a beat of his massive wings, sailing off down the hallway with a malicious peal of laughter. 

Samus breathed heavily, her infuriated gasps fogging up her visor. The huntress worked her fist, opening and closing it over and over again before taking a deep, long breath and disengaging her arm cannon, the weapon shutting down with a descending beep. A wisp of smoke was emitted by the cannon before it dissipated in the still air.

The huntress stood still as a statue for several minutes. A gray and blue R.O.B. rolled up to her, poking at her curiously. Samus wheeled back and punched the robot in the face as hard as she could with her arm cannon, knocking the R.O.B. off its base and sending it hurtling to the floor. The robot struggled for a moment, fruitlessly attempting to get upright again, like a turtle on its back, before sending out a distress signal and beeping pitifully. 

Samus snorted and turned on one heel and stomped off through the halls again, in the opposite direction Ridley had flown in, waves of hatred radiating off of her.


*     *     *


Deep in the Acropolis was a section of rooms that were nothing but meeting halls. By all rights, it was an entirely superfluous wing of the structure; after all, there were only fifty inhabitants within its mountainous confines. One could wander the massive castle for a week and not run into any of the other inhabitants but the R.O.B.s if one were so inclined. Most of the inhabitants kept themselves to a very small section of the Acropolis’ interior for just that reason.

Which is why having several dozen meeting halls, each capable of seating the entirety of the company in the building was a little bit excessive. Most of them never saw any use; just like most of the rooms in the superstructure.

One meeting hall, though, was currently host to ten of the Acropolis’ fifty inhabitants.

The ten characters were seated around the end of one of the massively long tables that ran down the middle of the massive meeting hall, having a friendly chat before the rest of their company arrived.

“Hurry up and pass me the donuts before Kirby shows up,” a lean, muscular man in a red, face-obscuring helmet and blue jumpsuit said, grabbing at a massive plate of donuts. “No snack will be safe when he gets here!” he quipped, nabbing a chocolate-frosted donut off the top of the pile and prepared to shove the whole thing in his mouth. He was foiled, though, when a long, cherry-red tongue wrapped itself around the donut and yanked it out of his hand and into a big green mouth across the table.

Captain Falcon grumbled as Yoshi chewed the donut happily. “Yoshi Yoshi!” the big green dinosaur squeaked happily.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep talking, fossil fuel,” Captain Falcon grumbled, crossing his arms.

Next to Yoshi was a lanky man in green. He wore overalls and a cap with a stylized “L” on the front and had a big, smooth moustache and a frankly massive nose. The man known as Luigi looked to his left to see a small child in a yellow and blue shirt with a red baseball cap sitting quietly and thoughtfully.

“You doing okay kiddo?” Luigi asked the child.

The child tensed for a moment, then sighed, shaking his head. “The nightmares were getting better, but they started coming back about a month ago.”

“Have you tried talking to anybody?” Luigi asked, patting the child’s back, only for him to jolt a little. He retracted his hand. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t realize it was still so bad.”

“It’s been three years,” Ness mumbled. “More if you count what goes on here. I think if it was going to get better it would have.”

“It’ll get better,” Luigi said encouragingly. “I had nightmares for well over a year after what happened in that mansion, but they got better.”

The boy just mumbled something noncommittal.

“Hey,” Luigi said. “I mean it. Whatever it is you’ve been through that’s still so bad you can’t talk about it? It’ll pass.” Luigi nodded. “Trust me.”

The boy smiled almost imperceptibly for a moment, his big black eyes blinking, before he turned away and started speaking again. “It’s not just the nightmares though. Something doesn’t… feel right here.”

“Like last time?” Luigi asked.

Ness shook his head. “No, last time it was like… like walking into a room and everybody in the room has green skin and fangs for teeth. This time it’s more like you walk into the room and everybody looks normal, but they’re all smiling just a little too widely and standing up just a little too straight.” He shook. “Its hard to try and describe these feelings in words.”

Luigi hummed softly. “I think we all feel a little unsettled.” He patted the boy on his back. “If you want you can go back to your room and relax? I’m sure nobody here will mind. You’re still a kid after all.”

“I want to be here though.” Ness said, before huffing. “I just wish it’d hurry up.”

The green-garbed plumber stroked his moustache. “I’m sure the meeting will start soon.”

“He has a point though,” another voice came from behind him, the plumber turning to see a blonde woman in a large pink dress, “When are we going to begin?” Princess Peach asked.

Luigi shrugged. “Mario, Link, Kirby, and Samus still aren’t here,” he said. “I think Mario, Link, and Samus were taking care of the situation with those pony newcomers. Can’t speak for Kirby.”

Princess Peach tapped her chin with a silk-gloved finger. “Kirby is probably still sleeping, the little dear,” she pondered, looking across the table and spying a brown haired woman in purple with a golden wreath crown. “Zelda! Zelda, dearie!” she called out. 

Princess Zelda looked up from a stack of papers she was writing upon with a quill and ink. The Crown Princess of Hyrule raised an eyebrow. “What is it, Peach?” she asked, her voice neutral.

“Do you have any idea when Link will be here?” Peach asked with a sweet smile.

Zelda frowned, her nose wrinkling in distaste. “How should I know?” she grumbled angrily. “Why would I have any knowledge of what goes through that fop-head of his?” she snapped.

Peach brought a gloved hand to her mouth. “Oh dear, are you two having a lover’s spat?” Zelda stiffened as she spoke. “But you two were so sweet on each other the last time we were all here!”

The Princess of Hyrule fixed the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom with a glare that could melt steel. “Look, We would be most appreciative if you simply desisted bringing the subject to bear. I’m not inclined to speak of my personal life at this moment.”

Princess Peach nodded. “Very well, dear. If you’re sure…”

“Indeed,” Zelda grumbled, only to be startled by a sudden pressure on her left arm. The princess looked down to see a pink blob with big blue eyes hugging her arm.

“Jiggly Jiggly!” The little balloon-like creature said sadly, its eyes watering.

“No, I’ve no intention to talk about it,” Zelda said bluntly. “It’s between myself and Link and it simply is not appropriate.”

“Jiggly, Jigglypuff!” Jigglypuff said with a pout.

“There’s nothing you can do,” Zelda said sternly, turning back to whatever it was she was writing.

The little balloon pokemon sighed sadly. “Jiggly Jigglypuff, Jiggly Puffpuff…” she said, turning to a yellow mouse with long ears and a lightning bolt- shaped tail next to her.

“Pi, Pika Pikachu” the mouse replied, munching on a rice ball.

“Puff puff, Jigglypuff!” Jigglypuff said, motioning to Zelda, who was pointedly ignoring the two of them.

“Pika Pika Pi. Chaaa~,” Pikachu shrugged, shoving the rest of his rice ball in his mouth.

Fox blinked at the two of them, looking over at Zelda. “How can you understand them again?”

“Translation spell,” Zelda said, not looking up from her paperwork. “Any magically inclined society comes up with at least a basic one.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “We’ve spoken of this before, Mr. McCloud.”

“Yeah, and even after all this time I still have trouble wrapping my head around anything ‘magical.’” Fox snorted out of his vulpine nose. “You’ve tried to explain it before but I still don’t get it. My universe has translators, but they only work if the language in question is stored in them after thorough analyzation of their vocabulary, and it doesn’t work so well when there’s only one word or animal noises to work off of.”

Zelda huffed. “Yes, well, I’m afraid that at this given moment I am not inclined to try and explain it again,” she snapped, fixing Fox with an aside glare.

Fox raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Yeesh,” he said, looking aside to the big ape in nothing but a tie sitting next to him, currently devouring a bunch of bananas. “Man, she’s not having a good day, is she?” he whispered softly, motioning over his shoulder with his thumb.

“Barooo?” Donkey Kong said with a perplexed look.

Fox blinked. “Right, I don’t know why I even try,” he sighed, grumbling a little. “I need magic...”

The ten of them continued chatting for a few minutes before the door to the room was pulled open. The group fell silent as Mario and Link sauntered in, followed closely by Kirby. The little pink puffball looked as if he’d been sprinting, bending over and panting for breath.

“Heya, everybody,” Mario grinned, flashing a winning smile. “Sorry we’re late. We were busy helping the newcomers. I’m sure you know the ones we’re talking about.”

Captain Falcon nodded, attempting to shove another donut in his mouth, only for Kirby to leap up and catch it. The captain scowled then turned to Mario again. “Those pony characters Zelda told us about? The ones who were pretty much kidnapped?”

Link nodded, sitting across the table from Zelda. Their eyes met for a moment before the princess looked away angrily. Link’s ears visibly drooped.

“What’s the verdict on them?” Luigi stood, giving a friendly, brotherly hug to his red-clad sibling. Breaking away, he continued. “You just said that you were going to check them out and ran off with Link and Samus.”

Mario looked around. “Where is Samus anyway?”

“She isn’t with you?” Fox asked, grabbing at a shishkebab from the massive plate of food, only for it to be snatched away by Kirby at the last second.

“She went off to park her ship,” Mario said, scratching at his moustache. “I’d thought she’d get here before us.”

Captain Falcon held up a communicator. “You want me to try and call her?”

Mario nodded. “Please.”

The Captain punched a few buttons on his comm device, holding it out for everybody in the room to hear. The little phone rang for a moment before going silent.

“She’s not picking up,” Captain Falcon said, his mouth turning down at the side a little. He turned to Mario. “You want me to keep trying?”

Mario opened his mouth to say yes, only for Princess Peach to put a hand on his shoulder. “Let her be,” the princess sighed. “She’s probably in one of her moods again.”

Zelda spoke up. “Well isn’t it understandable?” she asked, sorting through the papers she’d been working with. “After all, the creature that murdered her family is here,” she said, clearing her throat, “Speaking of which, shall we get down to business if we aren’t going to wait for her?”

Mario sighed. “Alrighty. So, who’ve we got this time around, Zelda?”

Zelda cleared her throat. “Well, to begin with, several of our contenders from last time around are no longer here. Lucas, Ike, Diddy Kong, Nana and Popo, and the other Link from that other timeline are all absent,” she explained.

“Good thing too…” Fox said, rubbing his temples. “There was something about that kid that made my head hurt when I looked at him. Like light bounced off him wrong or something.” He grimaced at the thought, opening his eyes to see the present Link scowling at him. He held up his hands in an attempt to reassure. “Not that he wasn’t a good kid.”

Link seemed placated, rolling his eyes at the anthropomorphic fox.

“Frankly, the timelines thing in general makes my head hurt,” Captain Falcon said, trying to grab at another donut while Kirby was busy trying to shove a whole watermelon down his gullet. He had just about brought it to his mouth when Yoshi suddenly wrapped his tongue around it again and it slipped out of his grasp. The green dinosaur grinned cheekily at the Captain, who growled at the little creature. 

Captain Falcon fumed. “Oh you wanna go?! You wanna go, Fossil?! You wanna have a fight?!” he shouted, standing up and pointing at the little dinosaur.

“Captain, please. Enough of this tomfoolery,” Zelda remarked, flicking her wrist, a burst of magic causing the captain to slip off his feet and land with a thump back in his chair. The grumbling racer pouted and crossed his arms.

Zelda cleared her throat, unfolding a small pair of reading glasses from a pouch upon her hip and placing them upon the bridge of her nose. The princess lifted one of her sheaths of paper to her eyes and began to read. “As I was saying, according to the people we spoke to in the great hall, we’ve managed to make a mostly complete list of the contenders this time around.” She lifted a hand, motioning at Mario and Peach. “To start with, Peach tells me that her cousin, Princess Daisy, is a contender this time.”

Princess Peach blew out a long suffering sigh. “Yeah… that’s going to be pleasant.” She shook her head. “Daisy is hard enough to deal with whenever we get together to go karting or play soccer. I can’t imagine how she’ll act in a fighting tournament. I can guarantee it won’t be with any sense of decorum, though.”

“She’s just a free spirit,” Luigi sighed, scratching under his cap. “She never wanted to rule a kingdom you know.”

Peach tensed. “It doesn’t matter if she wanted it or not. She has a responsibility to-”

“You know,” Zelda said testily, “we’re going to be for quite some time tonight if we don’t hasten this along.” The princess raised an eyebrow.

The two inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom looked at each other for a moment before nodding and motioning that she continue.

“Thank you,” Zelda said, pushing her glasses back up. “Anyway, continuing with newcomers from the Mushroom Kingdom, we have a mage named Kamek.” The residents of the Mushroom Kingdom stiffened. “...A pirate from the Kitchen isles by the name of Captain Maple Syrup.” Peach and Mario stiffened a little further. “...And a used car salesman named Waluigi.”

Mario, Luigi, and Peach all groaned audibly.

“I take it he isn’t popular?” Captain Falcon asked with a chuckle.

“He’s an obnoxious swindler that cheats at anything he can, insists everything he does is perfect, and can never take even an ounce of criticism against him,” Peach groaned, massaging her forehead.

“He’s got some sort of irrational vendetta against me for some reason, too,” Luigi muttered. “I’ve never understood why.”

Mario cleared his throat. “He’s not really much of a threat though. Not compared to Bowser, Kamek, or even his brother Wario.” He shrugged. “He has some basic magical ability, but nothing special. Daisy and Peach both have more powerful magic than he does.”

Zelda nodded, scratching a note down next to Waluigi’s name on the list. “Very well. Moving on, from Hyrule we have a newcomer in the form of a sorcerer who goes by the name of Vaati.”

“What can you tell us about him?” Mario asked, leaning into the table.

Link shook his head, making a few distinct motions with his fingers. Zelda sighed and conjured a book in her hands. “Unfortunately not much,” she said, flipping through the book and coming to a stop at a faded page with smudged text. “Vaati was a wind sorcerer from long, long ago. There’s passages about him winning a tournament and turning an ancestor of mine to stone…” she trailed off. “Sadly, it seems most of our records of him have been lost, and those that remain are vague at best.”

“But we know he’s a bad guy,” Fox said with a nod.

“Not much else, but we can make that hypothesis, yes,” Zelda acquiesced. “I’d suggest keeping watch on him. Unfortunately, thanks to the incomplete records, we don’t know what he’s capable of.” She cleared her throat, looking back down to the paper she was reading off of. “Moving on,” she said, “we have Samus’ arch nemesis that she would not cease ranting about: one ‘Ridley.’”

“That guy from the Subspace mess?” Captain Falcon said, leaning over to get a look at Zelda’s notes, only for the princess to pull them away, like they were students in a classroom. “Why would the Master Hand bring on somebody who tried to kill him and destroy reality as we know it?”

“We aren’t sure,” Mario said, stroking his moustache. “There’s a lot going on that doesn’t add up if you haven’t noticed.” The plumber raised a bushy eyebrow.

“On a less disturbing note,” Zelda said, smiling faintly, “Pit informed me that a friend of his by the name of Magnus was here. Apparently he is a powerful warrior for the side of good.” She looked directly at Link. “I believe I shall speak with him myself to see how his claims hold up, though Pit has proven trustworthy in the past. I’ve no doubt Magnus will turn out to be a close ally.”

Link frowned, his ears pulling back as he turned away and suddenly gained a vested interest in a crumb of breading from a fried chicken leg.

Fox cleared his throat, speaking up to try and chase away the awkward conflict going on a few seats over from him. “Anyway,” he said hesitantly, “As far as my world goes, there’s me and Falco, and also my fiancée, Krystal.”

“Indeed.” Zelda nodded. “Fox has vouched for Krystal, and while abrasive, we all know Falco can be trusted.” Tracing her finger down the list, she came to the next contenders. “Moving forward, from Kanto we have Pikachu and Jigglypuff returning.”

“Pika Pi!”

“Jiggly!”

“...but sadly, it seems that Red and his team are not with us this time.”

Across the room, Ness mumbled something softly under his breath.

“Instead, we seem to have gotten a friend of his. A girl by the name of Leaf. Apparently, she trains a slightly different team from Red’s.” She nodded to Captain Falcon. “You said she showed you her teammates, Captain?”

The race pilot nodded. “Yeah, she was real eager to show them off. One was a tiny orange lizard called a Charmander. I think it was a baby form of that Charizard thing. The next was a big, dark Squirtle with silly ears called a Wartortle, and last was a giant Ivysaur with a big-ass flower on its back called a Venusaur.” The Captain grimaced. “The flower smelled like something died.”

“How pleasant,” Zelda said, a dry sarcasm permeating her words. “Leaf also informed us of another contender from her world… unfortunately another one we’ll have to watch out for.” She nodded to Pikachu. “Pikachu? Jigglypuff? If you would?”

Jigglypuff nodded, handing Pikachu a big marker with a green cap. Pikachu took it in his stubby paw, then grabbed a blank piece of paper from Zelda’s stack. After a few squeaky moments of furiously scribbling on the paper, Pikachu lifted it up to show the rest of the company what he had drawn. A surprisingly well drawn and detailed bust of a man in what appeared to be a fancy Italian suit sneered at the rest of the folks in the room. He had a severe face with a hawkish nose and short, blackened hair, and a smile that would send shivers down the most hardened trainer’s spine.

“This is Giovanni,” Zelda said. “According to Leaf and Pikachu here, he’s the ex-leader of some world-spanning organized crime ring called Team Rocket. Currently underground, he apparently has been trying to rebuild his organization ever since Pikachu’s old trainer took it down. He is purportedly not above such things as sabotage, dirty dealings, and other dishonorable methods. What’s worse, we are not yet aware what kind of team he trains. Keep a lookout for him.”

“Alright, will do.” Mario nodded. “Who else is new?”

“Hmmmm…” Zelda leafed through the papers. “Not many others from established worlds. Marth, Olimar, Sonic, and Mr. Game and Watch are all here, but there’s nobody new from their worlds. Kirby is here, of course, with Meta Knight and King Dedede, but nobody else from Dreamland. From there, we go to contenders we recognize but had no actual contact with before. Specifically, Little Mac, Isaac, and Starfy, who were all assist trophy constructs the last time around.”

“Yeah, it’s gotta be weird for them.” Luigi chewed on his lip. “It’s like… we recognize them, but they have no idea who we are.”

“Little Mac and Isaac didn’t seem too put off,” Peach said, leaning over the table to get a better look at the list. “And Starfy seems a little bit like… well… Kirby.”

The entire room turned to look at the little puffball sitting in the center of the table, happily resting in a pile of food scraps.

“...He seems the unfazable sort.”

“That brings us to newcomers we’ve no knowledge of,” Zelda said. “Unless Mr. Snake would like to share with the class?”

A sharp note rang out as something thumped under the table. Everybody in the room jumped, startled, before leaning over to check whatever it was beneath them. Grumbling and rubbing his head, a grizzled, bearded man in a skintight gray-blue suit and blue bandanna shimmied out from under the table.

“Snake,” Zelda greeted “Nice of you to join us.”

“Hnggh…” Snake grunted, noncommittally.

“You do know this is meant to be a private meeting, right?” Captain Falcon sneered, glaring at the old soldier who’d sat down next to him.

“Yeah,” Snake said offhandedly, lighting a cigarette. “That’s why I was spying on you. Not that Otacon didn’t know most of that intel already.”

“Ah yes, that would be your prophetic friend back in your realm, correct?” Zelda asked, raising an eyebrow.

“...Something like that, yeah,” Snake mumbled. “He still wants your autograph by the way.”

“Maybe later,” Zelda said, waving him off. Snake didn’t pry any further. “For now, why don’t you tell us what your prophet friend has ordained about the other contestants?”

Snake grumbled, pulling out a number of photographs from a pouch on his chest and tossing them across the table at Zelda and Mario. The two veterans picked them up and started leafing through them. Zelda pulled out a photo of a man in leather armor with a long whip at his belt, while Mario found himself with a picture of a small boy in blue armor.

“Simon Belmont and Megaman,” Snake grumbled. “The first one is a vampire hunter from 17th century Europe. Apparently, he managed to kill Dracula, if you believe that Dracula actually existed beyond the historical Vlad the Impaler.”

“As for Megaman, he’s an android called a ‘Robot Master’ with the ability to copy the abilities of other Robot Masters. He’s a very versatile, combat ready robot with a humanlike consciousness. According to Otacon, he’s managed to take down a mad scientist by the name of Doctor Albert Wily upwards of ten times.”

Zelda nodded. “Yes, we’re familiar with these two actually,” she said, her brow knitting. “Pit informed us he knew them somehow.”

“Oh?” Snake said, interested.

Mario nodded, looking confused. “Yeah. When we asked him how he knew them, he just started saying ‘Never again, never again’ over and over and then walked up to a wall and started banging his head against it.”

There was silence in the meeting hall for a second as everybody looked between each other. In the silence, Kirby burped a little.

“Weird,” Snake mumbled.

Zelda leafed through her stack of photos again, pulling out a picture of a black haired woman with frightfully pale skin in a blue tank top and tight black pants. “And this might be?”

Snake took a drag of his cigarette. “Introduced herself to Peachy’s cousin as one ‘Winona Fit.’ Said she was a yoga instructor. Otacon wasn’t familiar with her.”

“Oh?” Zelda said with a proud smirk. “Could it be there is something your oracle friend doesn’t know?”

“Hnnnh,” Snake grunted, continuing. “From the look of it, late twenties. Looks to be an albino if the skin and eyes are any indication. Probably dyes her hair. Looks quite fit, appropriately for her surname. Fighting capability unknown. Doesn’t seem hostile, but worth checking up on.”

“We’ll keep her in mind,” Mario said, nodding. “What about the ponies?”

Snake shook his head. “Otacon didn’t recognize them. He knows nothing about any of them.”

Zelda added a quirked eyebrow to her smirk. “Seems he’s not being particularly useful this time around.”

Snake was about to retort, but Mario interrupted him by clearing his throat. “Samus, Link, and I already spent some time with the ponies anyway so it isn’t a biggie,” he said placatingly. “The three little ones are named Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy.”

“How saccharine…” Fox said with a chuckle.

Princess Peach giggled. “They sound adorable.”

“Twilight at least seems capable of some very powerful magic,” Mario continued. “I can’t say I know everything she’s capable of. Fluttershy is, of course, winged. It’s safe to assume she can fly but we haven’t seen her try to do so yet, and beyond that we aren’t sure. As for AJ, she doesn’t seem capable of flight or magic, but I have a feeling she’s got some tricks up her sleeve.”

“And what about the big buggy black one?” Luigi asked. “What did you learn about her?”

Mario sighed. “That would be Queen Chrysalis, and unlike the rest of them, I don’t think she can be trusted,” he said with a sad stroke of his moustache. “She seems capable of both magic and flight, and acts very entitled and high on herself. According to Twilight and the others, she can copy the appearance of any thinking creature she sees and drains emotions for food.”

Captain Falcon stopped and stared around the room. “Wait… so does that mean that… any one of us could be Chrysalis right now?”

Zelda, Peach, Mario and Snake all facepalmed. 

Captain Falcon continued, glaring suspiciously at Donkey Kong, who had been paying rapt attention the whole time whilst making his way through his bananas. “You’ve been pretty silent the whole time, big guy. You got something you wanna say?”

Donkey Kong blinked. “Baroo?”

Captain Falcon threw back a laugh. “Likely story!”

“Captain, enough,” Zelda said, snapping her fingers and sending a bolt of magic through the air. Everybody in the room felt a tingling on their skin for a moment before it dissipated. “There, I have just cast an anti-disguise spell on this room. Chrysalis is not here.”

The Captain slouched back in his chair with an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry, big guy,” he said with a sheepish grin.

DK snorted.

Captain Falcon looked at Kirby and Yoshi. “Why don’t you guys ever steal his food?”

The two gluttonous creatures’ eyes widened, looking back and forth between Donkey Kong and the bounty hunter incredulously. Captain Falcon looked confused for a moment before Snake chuckled. The racer raised an eyebrow.

“Have you seen what he does to people who steal his food?” Snake asked with another, grim chuckle. The Captain shook his head prompting Snake to continue. “Let’s just say that King K. Rool hasn’t been seen in almost a decade.”

Captain Falcon blinked, then grimaced and went back to sitting silently. Donkey Kong thumped his chest with a fist and grinned, then went back to eating his banana bunch.

Zelda sighed. “If we might find our way back on track?” she asked, exasperatedly, pulling out two pictures, one of a classy looking man in a large top hat and the other of a small boy in a red, knitted cap carrying a notebook, out of the stack of photographs. “Has your oracle friend any idea who these are?”

"The kid is named Maxwell. From what I hear, he's a good kid, if a little irresponsible. Which isn't helped by the fact that his magical notebook can literally conjure anything from thin air."

"Anything?" Peach gasped.

"Well, not quite anything." Snake grumbled. "Can't make a decent jug of whiskey, and it seems like anytime he tries to make something living he just ends up with a construct, like the ones the Smashworld makes. There are other limitations, too, but that notebook packs some serious mojo. He's not malicious, but keep an eye on him just in case. That's a lot of power for one so young."

"Of course." Zelda nodded. "And the man in the top hat?"

“Professor Hershel Layton,” Snake said, nonplussed. “Mid to late thirties. Professor of archaeology, consulting detective for Scotland Yard, and puzzle enthusiast. Highly intelligent, genius IQ. Fancies himself some sort of ‘True Gentleman’ and lives by a code of honor and chivalry. From what I understand, he’s also a capable fencer and boxer, but prefers to solve things with his head rather than his fists.”

“Rather an odd choice for a fighting tournament, then,” Peach said, cocking her head. “It’s a bit tricky to think your way out of a fighting ring...”

“Tricky, maybe, but not impossible,” Snake muttered. “Besides, if pushed, he’ll definitely fall back on those fighting skills he keeps boxed up.”

“He doesn’t sound dangerous though,” Fox said, looking at the photograph. “You said he lives by a code of chivalry and stuff.”

“In my experience,” Snake grumbled, “just because you live by a code doesn’t mean you can’t be a monster.” He stared off into space as he spoke, his mind elsewhere.

“Speaking of monsters,” Zelda said, pulling another photo, this one of a man in a military garb with blonde hair and skin covered in electrical scars. “Friend of yours?”

“Colonel Yevgeny Borisovich Volgin,” Snake said. “Never knew him, but… he was an enemy of an old enemy, you might say.” Snake was silent for a moment as he took a long drag from his cig.

“So he is a friend then?” Mario asked curiously.

“You wish,” Snake said, breathing smoke out his nose. “Man tried to start a third World War and drop nukes on the entire western hemisphere. All so he could rule the inevitable rock of fire and ash with an iron fist. The sick bastard glorified war and fighting like nothing else and got off on peoples’ pain, treating torture like some kind of sick art,” he grumbled, putting his cigarette out. “Just because an enemy of mine fought him doesn’t mean he’s my friend. Watch out for him. He may just be the most evil man here.”

The weight of Snake’s words settled heavily around the room. “We’ll keep a close eye on him,” Mario said after a moment.

“And what about this last one?” Zelda said, pulling the last photo out of the stack. Depicted on it was a man in a tooth-rimmed bush hat and leather vest with frayed jeans and hiking boots, a bullwhip wrapped around his waist. The man was passed out drunk at a buffet table in the Great Hall, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a broken shot glass in the other. There was a goofy grin on his face as he lay there, slumped over the table.

Snake shook his head. “Don’t recognize him.”

“And your oracle friend?” Zelda asked.

“He said there was something about him that seemed familiar, but that he couldn’t put his finger on it,” Snake said. “I can’t get a bead on him from just his looks, but I’d say, given the way he was acting, he’s probably harmless. Keep an eye on him though, just to be sure.”

“Thank you, Snake,” Mario said, standing up. The old, grizzled soldier stood up with him, stepping past the other members of the little gathering and up to the short plumber. Mario held out a gloved hand. “You’ve been a big help.”

Snake hemmed and hawed for a moment, before grasping the plumber’s hand. “Taking a gamble on you guys,” he grunted. “Hope you can keep these goons in line, while I take care of business.”

“And what sort of business would that be?” Zelda asked, removing her glasses and fixing him with a stare.

Snake raised an eyebrow and smirked faintly. “My business,” he simply replied.

“Of course,” Mario nodded. “Thanks again.”

“Sure,” Snake said, stalking out of the room. “I need some sleep.” The man closed the door behind him leaving the thirteen occupants in silence again.

“Well,” Peach said with a huff. “Never one for pleasantries that one, is he?”

Mario shrugged. “He is who he is.”

Zelda looked at the photo of the strange drunken man from the party earlier in the day. “We’re still left with the mystery of who this fellow is, though…”

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Fox said, waving it off and kicking his feet up on the table. “I’m sure we’ll figure out who he is sooner rather than later.”


*     *     *


Fluttershy sighed contentedly as she snuggled into her cozy bed, her new animal friends snuggled around her as she dimmed the lights with a clap of her hooves. The sheets were like gentle, massaging hooves around her and the bed felt downy and soft, almost like sleeping on a cloud bed but without the riskiness of having to sleep in the air. The room was gently scented a warm, flowery scent, and the only sound to be heard was a gentle tune playing on a boxy wooden radio she had found.

‘Maybe... ’ Fluttershy thought. ‘Maybe it won’t be so bad here...’

Fluttershy made to close her eyes and drift off to sleep in her perfect room. Her eyes were just fluttering shut when she noticed the other, previously blank side of the room suddenly spring to life with furniture and other accoutrements. A four post bed covered in a raggedy quilt, an unfinished wooden floor, several footlockers, and a plain wooden dresser all sprung into existence on the other side of the room, along with some photos that she couldn’t quite make out. About the only thing she could make out with any real detail was a sleeping alligator that appeared at the foot of the bed, like her animals. She felt the animals around her shudder as the alligator in question grunted in its sleep.

Suddenly the door flew open, with a thunderous SLAM.

“HOOOOOOO-EE!”

Fluttershy squeaked and fell out of her comfy bed, tumbling with her animals onto the floor. The critters all scattered and fled into their various hidey holes around the room as their caretaker scrabbled to find her footing on the floor and the strange creature tromped around the room squealing pig calls.

“HOOO-WEE that’s some mighty good drink!” The crazy man shouted, waving an empty bottle of whiskey around and stumbling against the wall. “Can’t even feel myself think!” He chuckled, hiccuping. “Heh, I’m a poet!” He grinned dumbly, stumbling into the middle of the room and burping, scratching at his bare chest, which was visible thanks to his open leather vest. Grabbing his hat, he tossed it across the room, where, despite the man’s utter drunkenness, it landed neatly on one of the posts of his new bed. Kicking off his boots and stumbling around in his stocking feet, he stopped when he caught sight of Fluttershy.

“Eep!” Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her bed. 

“Well, howdy there! Ain’t you a cute l’il jackrabbit?!” the boisterous stranger joked. “Must’a drank more than I thought. Y’all look downright pink and yellow!”

“Um… a-actually…” Fluttershy stuttered.

“Hey, y’all think ya could feed Ollie, little lady?” The crazed man asked, pointing at the alligator, who had since snapped awake at all the commotion. “Boy gets a little cranky when there ain’t nobody to feed him, an’ I’m about to pass out now.”

“Wait, what?” Fluttershy asked, startled.

“Whoop!” the man suddenly yelped. “Over I go!”

With that, the strange character suddenly flopped over and collapsed, face down on his new bed, snoring the moment his face hit the mattress.

Fluttershy blinked, clutching her blanket to her chest. The buttery pegasus could barely process what had just happened. The moment her mind started to clear and she tried to think about it, though, she heard a menacing hissing sound coming from the strange man’s side of the room. Ears perking up, she looked over to see Ollie the Alligator up and about, crawling slowly over towards her.

“Oh… my…”


> Ch5: 3, 2, 1, Go!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 5 - 3, 2, 1, Go!



Twilight Sparkle groaned as she stumbled blearily through an endless void. As far as she could see, there was naught but a blackness, stretching on and on for miles upon miles in every direction. In front of her, behind her, and up above her, there was nothing but the dark.

Twilight’s breathing quickened in the inky void. Something about this place was wrong. Very wrong. Even worse, she could swear that there was something in the darkness with her.

The purple unicorn attempted to cast an illumination spell. Her horn flickered for a moment before bursting out in a bright corona of light. Twilight gasped at what she beheld. She stood upon a floating island, made of some mineral she had never seen before in a vast, empty, black void. The soil around her hooves glowed a deep purple as it reflected the light from her horn. The purple glow seemed to spread out from the spot where she stood until it engulfed the entire island she was standing upon, then somehow spread out further into the void, illuminating countless other islands floating off in the distance. An eerie purple-white fog seemed to roll off of the soil and lick at her fetlocks as she stood stock still upon the floating platform.

The hairs on the back of Twilight’s neck rose as she looked from side to side for any other signs of life. “H-Hello?” Twilight stammered, her mouth suddenly very dry. She could sense a presence nearby but despite the sudden visibility in the void, she could see nothing.

Twilight gulped, working up the nerve to move from her spot. Stepping as carefully and quietly as she could, she made her way to the edge of the floating platform, ears twitching and eyes darting from side to side all the way. Her hoofsteps echoed throughout the endless void, ringing in her ears and deafening her as she stepped up to the edge of the floating island. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked over the edge of the cliff into the void below.

“Twilight…” a voice whispered. 

The unicorn jerked at the voice. “Who’s there?!” she shouted into the emptiness, darting her head from side to side, up and down, and every which way to try and catch a glimpse of who had spoken.

“Twilight Sparkle…” the voice whispered again.

“I’m warning you!” Twilight shouted, sweating. “I’m a seventh level mage in Celestia’s School for gifted unicorns!” she yelled to nobody, failing to sound confident at all. “Whatever you are, I’m not afraid of you!”

Suddenly, the island she stood on shook and shuddered. A massive CRASH rang throughout the void, causing Twilight to lose her footing and fall flat on her face. Another CRASH heralded the sudden appearance of a massive blue hand grabbing the side of the island, its gargantuan fingers gripping the edge of the rock not three feet from where Twilight lay. The hand was so large it could have easily held Twilight in it five times over, and it glowed an unsettling electric blue, further illuminating the void. Twilight’s breath caught as another hand suddenly crashed down on the far end of the island, making the floating rock shudder and shake again. Slowly… excruciatingly slowly… a titanic head crested over the side of the island. It glowed the same electric blue as its hands, and his massive face was void of emotion or pity with merely darkened shadows to denote where his eyes and mouth were. 

Twilight practically choked on her fear as the colossus towered over her. She could only see the beast’s head, and yet it still stretched well over twenty feet above her. Twilight shivered as the creature turned its massive head, its nonexistent eyes boring down upon her tiny form.

“TWILIGHT!

The purple unicorn suddenly shot up in bed, gasping for breath and choking down air. The star-patterned sheets were soaked through with sweat, and given the mess of books all over the floor from the bookshelves built into her wall, it looked like she might have cast in her sleep. Twilight’s breathing eventually slowed to the point where she let out a long, relieved sigh.

“Just a dream…” Twilight mumbled, her head drooping in relief.

A sudden knock made Twilight fall out of her bed with a yelp.

“Twilight?” a familiar voice came from outside the door. “Are you well?”

Twilight blinked as she peeked over the bed. Catching her breath again, the pony chuckled at her own foolishness, trotting over to door and pulling it open with a little flick of her horn.

Standing there in the doorway with a neutral but placid look on her face was Princess Zelda. “Ah, Twilight,” she said pleasantly. “Nice to see you again.”

“Princess Zelda!” Twilight said, slightly surprised, dipping into a bow on instinct. 

The princess chuckled. “There is no need for that, Twilight Sparkle. We are all equals here.”

Twilight quickly straightened up, an embarrassed blush on her face. “What brings you here?” she asked.

“I simply came to see if you were adjusting to your new surroundings well, and to see if you were interested in some breakfast before the first match of the tournament.”

Twilight’s stomach suddenly grumbled at the prospect of food. It was only then that she realized she hadn’t eaten since arriving at the Acropolis almost eighteen hours ago. The revelation almost made her double over with hunger. 

Zelda chuckled again, covering her lips with her gloved hand. “It would seem you are indeed interested.” She straightened up, stepping aside to let Twilight out of the room. Groggily, her mane still unkempt from her restless sleep, Twilight sheepishly stepped out into the hallway. “Did you at least rest well?” Zelda asked.

“Sorta.” Twilight yawned. “It’s been an odd shock to my sleep schedule. It was about four in the morning when we were yanked here, and then after a bit of an emotional roller coaster for about ten hours and getting eaten, I think I was ready to crash…” she said, sheepishly scratching the back of her head.

Zelda raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I noticed you were sharing a room with Kirby. He is likely already at breakfast,” she said, clearing her throat. “Are you alright? Perhaps I should speak with the little glutton. He knows not to eat people off the battlefield.”

“No, it was an accident I think. He was asleep and he yawned and... wait,” she jolted, stopping in her tracks. “You mean he’s allowed to EAT people in matches?!”

“Calm yourself,” Zelda said, holding up a hand. “We’re all still here. We don’t understand how it works, but, at least in this world, when Kirby consumes a foe, they reappear perfectly fine moments later.”

Twilight blinked. “But that doesn’t make any sense! Nothing about that crazy pink marshmallow makes sense!” she shouted, her mane frizzing even more than it already had.

“Indeed,” Zelda said. “If you care to attempt to investigate how Kirby ‘works’ as it were, feel free to try. I’m sure the Acropolis has a laboratory or ten somewhere in its vast confines. We have been here three times now and still not mapped out even a quarter of the structure. I warn you though, attempting to puzzle out Kirby’s many mysteries may be unwise.” Her eyes gained a distant look to them. “That way lies madness.”

Twilight sighed. “Sounds like a friend of mine.”

“It matters not,” Zelda said, clapping her hands together. “For now, we should gather your friends and make haste to the dining hall, should we not?”

Twilight nodded. “Alright. Let’s go see how Fluttershy is first.”

“Indeed,” Zelda concurred. “I’m interested in meeting her roommate as well. I am afraid I’m not familiar with him.”

Twilight trotted alongside the tall princess’ long strides. “You don’t know anything about the person who’s rooming with Fluttershy?”

“Not a thing.” Zelda shook her head. “He was seen around the Great Hall, but nobody recognized him. I hope that your friend might be able to shed some light upon him.”

Twilight shivered a little. “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be some kind of thug…” she said softly. “I’d hate for Fluttershy to have to room with a villain.”

“I feel much the same,” Zelda said, stepping up to Fluttershy’s door. On the face of the door was a picture of a shyly smiling yellow pegasus and another of a wild-looking man with an open leather vest, a ratty, tooth-rimmed bush hat, frayed jeans, and heavy boots. He had an insane-looking grin and a wild look in his eyes. 

Twilight blinked. “Well… he doesn’t dress like a criminal mastermind…”

Zelda shook her head again. “If there is anything I have learned from these tournaments, it is that looks can be deceiving. Let us hope he does not act like one.”

Twilight grasped the handle in her magic, pulling the door open, only to leap back in fright.

A massive, scaly, seven-foot alligator was sitting in the doorway, its jaws open wide in a guttural, hissing growl with each of its razor-sharp teeth gleaming in the light of the hallway. The predatory reptile gurgled and growled at them, twisting to snap its jaws at the unicorn and Hylian.

“Get back!” Zelda commanded, lifting a hand, sparking with magic. “I shall handle this creature.”

“STOP!” came a cry from inside the room.

The alligator, Twilight, and the princess all froze as a butter yellow pegasus flew up to the doorway. Alighting next to the massive, predatory reptile, she tapped a hoof on the ground, looking at it with a raised eyebrow.

“Now Ollie, are you scaring our guests? You know that isn’t nice, right?”

Somehow, the alligator managed to look properly abashed, letting out a low, guttural moan.

“I know, but you can’t just go around scaring or attacking people,” Fluttershy said, stroking the gator’s crest. “You’ll never make any friends that way.”

The alligator dipped its head until its snout was pushing against the floor. It let out a hiss that sounded almost like a whimper.

“Oh don’t worry, I forgive you,” Fluttershy said, wrapping her hooves around the alligator’s neck in a big hug. “Now why don’t you get some fish for yourself out of the cooler?”

Ollie Gator seemed to nod, slowly twisting himself around and slinking off into the corner of the room and climbing into a massive cooler, yanking a chilled fish out with his massive jaws.

Fluttershy smiled sweetly and turned to Twilight and Zelda. “It’s okay. He won’t hurt you.”

“That was remarkable,” Zelda said, a stunned look on her face. “Wherever did you learn to charm animals so?”

Fluttershy blinked. “Um… I didn’t actually learn it from anypony…” she mumbled. “It’s just my special talent,” she said, nodding at her cutie mark.

“Fascinating,” Zelda said softly. Her eyes flashed with something magical as she gazed upon Fluttershy’s flank. She then turned to Twilight and looked at the mark upon her flank as well. “Truly fascinating.”

Fluttershy scuffed a hoof against the ground. “Um… I don’t mean to be rude, but… is there something you wanted?” she said, her voice barely above a squeak.

“We just came to ask if you wanted any breakfast,” Twilight said.

“That,” Zelda said, the magic dissipating from her eyes, “and to see if we might talk with your roommate.”

“Oh, um…” Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane. “He’s still sleeping right now.”

Zelda hemmed and hawed. “Would you particularly mind if I tried to waken him?”

“Um…” Fluttershy stammered, edging out of the room and standing behind Twilight. “I guess… he was very loud, though.”

Zelda stepped into the room, walking over to the unkempt, country-cabin style bed in the corner. The strange man was snoring heavily, wrapped in the bedspread like it was some kind of cocoon, his head poking out one end and his feet sticking out the other. A drop of drool trickled out the side of his wide-open mouth. Zelda sniffed, grimacing at the thick scent of alcohol lingering on him. Reaching out with a gloved hand, she shook the bedspread-wrapped man. “Sir?” she asked. “Sir, may I speak with you?”

The man refused to awaken.

Fluttershy shook her head. “I tried to wake him several times last night to ask where he kept food for his alligator,” she said softly. “He wouldn’t wake for anything.”

Zelda sighed, an annoyed look crossing her face. “Very well, it seems I shall have to wait to speak with him,” she said, spinning on her heel. “Let us gather your other friend then.”

The two ponies and the princess left Fluttershy’s room, the buttery pegasus waving goodbye to Ollie (the others swearing they saw him wave back, to which Twilight didn’t seem to react, but Zelda found quite alarming), and made their way to Applejack’s room.

“I see your friend managed to find herself with Princess Peach’s cousin,” Zelda said, amused.

“Oh dear,” Fluttershy said. “I hope she isn’t too upset. She isn’t usually keen on being around nobility.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Twilight said, grabbing the latch with her magic. “Applejack’s a mature, responsible-”

The door suddenly swung open, smacking Twilight in the face.

“Hoo-wee!” Applejack shouted, stumbling on her hooves. “I ain’t got no clue how that fancy magic contraption of yer’s works, Princess, but it sure is a hoot!”

From behind the orange farm mare stepped a barefoot woman in yellow, flower-printed pajama pants and a white tank top. “It’s just a TV, Applejack. You seriously don’t have those?”

“Owwwwww…” Twilight said, lying on the ground and clutching her nose.

Applejack blinked. “Twilight?” she asked, looking around. “Fluttershy? Princess Zelda? What’re y’all doing lurkin’ ‘round our door in the middle of the night?”

Princess Zelda raised an eyebrow. “It is half-past nine in the morning,” she said neutrally.

Applejack blinked. “Aw shoot, y’all are pullin’ my leg,” she said, turning to Daisy. “How long were we watching them fancy deeveedees of yers?”

Daisy yawned before answering. “Well, we managed to get through almost the whole season, and the episodes are 45 minutes long, so…” Daisy scratched her stomach in a very un-princessly manner. “Ugh, math, my old nemesis, we meet again. I guess a little under twelve hours?”

“Sweet Celestia!” Applejack jumped, stumbling a little. “Sure as hay didn’t seem that long when watching it!”

Daisy nodded. “Time flies when you’re watching Star Toads,” she agreed.

“Why didn’t y’all stop puttin’ them deeveedees in then?”

Daisy snorted. “You were the one that kept asking to see the next episode. I said we should go to bed about halfway through,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

Applejack opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it and grumbled. “Yeah, yer right…” she suddenly let out a great big yawn. “Hoo, this is gonna be a tough day.”

Twilight rubbed her nose, stepping over to the tired farm mare. “Are you going to be okay, AJ?”

Applejack nodded, the sleepiness suddenly washing over her now that she realized just how long she had been awake. “I’ve had worse. Y’all remember that time I tried to harvest the whole orchard by myself?”

Twilight shuddered. “I don’t think anyone in Ponyville will ever forget.”

Applejack chuckled. “I’ll be fine, Twi. Don’tcha worry about me.”

Zelda cleared her throat. “As long as she isn’t chosen to compete today, she should be fine, I’m sure.” She turned on her heel and beckoned the rest of the group to follow. “Now come, we would not wish to miss breakfast.”

“Oh, sweet!” Daisy chirped. “I’m starving!” She stepped out of the room and kicked the door shut behind her.

“Erm… yes,” Zelda said, her eyebrows knitting. “Should you not get properly dressed first, though?” she asked.

“Pffft,” Daisy said, waving her off. “Who gets dressed for breakfast?”

Zelda blinked, then cleared her throat. “Quite.” She shook off the other princess’s behavior and flagged down a dark green R.O.B. “Excuse us, might you lead us to the dining room?”

The R.O.B. beeped and chirruped, spinning around on its base and rolling away, motioning for them to follow with a spin of its arm.

“Come along then,” Zelda said to the rest of the group. “We must hurry if we wish to eat before the first match.”


*     *     *


Queen Chrysalis awoke with a contented hum. The large changeling stretched her perforated limbs, a crack coming from each one before she stepped out of her green, podlike bed which hung from the wall like a coffin propped up on its end. Stepping down from her sleeping cocoon and onto the black, gnarled floor of fungus, soil, and other fleshy, unknown elements, she beat her wings, shaking off any fluid from her pod that remained on them. 

Twisted, filmy, rootlike structures ran up and down the walls and ceiling of her side of the room, dripping with green ooze while everything was lit by glowing blue-green fungus. Sharp stalactites hung from the ceiling, wrapped by the green, cord-like vines that pulsated every so often. The Changeling Queen lit her horn and one of the fleshy, black tentacle vines unfurled itself from the wall and presented her with a dry, fluffy towel. Taking the towel in her magic, she rubbed her face clean of anything that might have accumulated upon it in her sleep, quickly wiping the rest of her limbs and core dry of the slime. 

With another spell cast, a set of needle-like teeth suddenly sprouted from the ceiling above her, stretching down with the sound of creaking bone and tissue. The Changeling Queen didn’t flinch as the teeth neared the top of her skull, instead remaining perfectly still as they poked at her green mane. Then, improbably, the teeth started to move along her hair, combing it into place. Another set of teeth sprouted from the floor, doing the same for her tail.

A flabby tentacle vine sprouted from the wall, inching over towards the Queen from behind, wrapping around her belly before slowly slithering towards her mouth. The Queen opened her mouth to let the tentacle in, allowing it to spray a strange slimy film into her mouth. She closed her mouth, swishing the odd fluid around a little, before spitting it into a mushroom with a seemingly-upturned cap. The fluid was quickly absorbed by the leathery fungus.

Chrysalis cast another spell, forcing several of the fleshy vines to separate from one another on the wall, revealing a pristine mirror beneath. The Queen grinned into the mirror, looking herself over. “Perfect…” she purred, snapping her teeth in the mirror.

“MMPH! MMMMPH!!!”

The queen flicked her eyes over to her roommate’s side of the room. It was astonishingly dull for her tastes. The floor, walls, and ceiling were all made of large gray bricks and the floor along the walls was piled high with gold coins and various other treasures. A massive, gold-plated, king-sized bed rested against the opposite wall from Chrysalis, done up with a red bedspread, while an ornate red rug sat at the foot of the bed. Pictures of small, dragonlike creatures lined the walls, as well as one picture of a blonde woman in pink. A massive gold chandelier hung from the ceiling, lit with blue flames. Directly above the bed was an absolutely massive portrait of her roommate himself, crossing his beastly arms in smug triumph and giving a vicious, toothy grin to any who dared look upon it.

At least it would, if she hadn’t plastered her roommate to the portrait, right where its face was.

“MMMPH MMPH MRRGHMMP!!” came her roommate’s muffled screams of outrage. His muzzle was bound by thick, green, slimy cords of calcified ooze, as were his arms, which were bound to his sides and his legs which were bound together. His yellow tail poked out from the wrappings, making him look like a big, fat, green mummy with a yellow dragon’s tail. All that could be seen aside from the tail were the odd patches of skin that she hadn’t needed to cover to secure him and the top half of his beastly, reptilian face. Unlike the rest of him, the top of his head was covered by horns, sitting above green scales and surrounding fiery red eyes which sat at the crest of a pale yellow muzzle. His red hair was matted with slick goop, and his eyes spoke of murder.

“Now then…” Chrysalis asked. “Are you going to behave?”

“MMMPGH GRMMMPH CRRMMMPMPH!”

“Tsk tsk,” Chrysalis taunted. “I won’t let you out if you don’t agree to play nice,” she said, buzzing over to him and bopping him on the end of his nose. “Besides, such language is hardly befitting of a King. Accept your defeat and I’ll let you go,” she said, her voice falsely saccharine.

A low growling noise came from the back of King Bowser’s throat before finally he seemed to slump, his eyes darting off to look at some far corner of the room.

“There’s a good Koopa.” Chrysalis chuckled triumphantly as she buzzed up into the air with her insectoid wings. “Now give me just a second,” she said, as her mouth suddenly seemed to fill with a yellow substance. The yellow fluid dripped from her mouth as she hovered over the king.

Bowser grunted in disgust as the yellow drool poured over him. After mere moments, though, the green ooze started to dissolve, setting him free as he fell atop his bed with a wet ‘splat!’ With a hacking cough, the King of the Koopas hocked out a wad of green, translucent goop before groaning and collapsing atop his massive bed.

“There now,” Chrysalis said. “Is that better?”

“Go stick a poisoned mushroom up your--”

“Oh come now,” Chrysalis tsked. “You needn't be so hostile, Bowser dear. Now you simply know not to try and attack the ‘teeny little bug pony.’”

Bowser grumbled.

“I’m off to get some breakfast,” Chrysalis said, sweetly. “I’m sure there must be some good vibrations around the dining room I can snack on. You just rest there, Bowser. You look exhausted. Au revoir!” she sang, shutting the door behind her.

Bowser let out a long groan, rolling over in his bed and pulling his big red blanket over him. Before long, though, his groan turned into a chuckling, scratchy laugh.

“She’s tough. I like her.”


*     *     *


The R.O.B. led the group of five down a long hallway and then a rather sizable flight of stairs on their way to the dining hall. Twilight and the others couldn’t help but ogle all the massive decorations and rooms that they passed on their way. Multiple times, Twilight would ask about rooms they passed, only to be disappointed when Zelda would shrug and say she didn’t know what most of the rooms were for.

“Sadly,” Zelda explained, “most of the rooms in this place we aren’t even familiar with. The Acropolis is so vast that we who have been here before have only yet managed to explore a small fraction of the structure. And most of what we have explored is in the lower levels, with only a few excursions into select towers and spires.”

“Y’all mean to tell me…” Applejack began, “that we don’t even know what’s goin’ on in half a’ this building?” she asked, incredulously. “Isn’t that a mite dangerous? What if there’s, I dunno, giant killer centipedes in the other parts of the building or something?”

Zelda chuckled. “I find that unlikely. Nobody has been attacked in the Acropolis before by anything other than other contenders. Well…” Zelda trailed off, “other contenders and the armies of subspace.” She cleared her throat. “However, that force was soundly defeated. We shan’t encounter them again.”

“Still, aren’t you curious?” Twilight asked. “I mean, there’s so much you might discover in this place. Technology that could jump our worlds ahead by centuries or new magic that could revolutionize arcane theory! Or maybe even portals home!” she ranted, frustrated. “How can you not even bother to look?”

Zelda arched an eyebrow. “You misunderstand, Twilight Sparkle. We have tried to map out the Acropolis.”

Twilight blinked. “Wait... are you saying--?”

Zelda nodded. “The structure is vast. A city unto itself, with a mere fifty inhabitants. In the years that we’ve been here, we have not been capable of mapping out all of it. What little we know largely comes from asking the R.O.B.s to take us places. Or, in previous tournaments, the job was filled by creatures known as ‘polygons,’ ‘wire frames,’ or ‘alloys.’”

Twilight looked around at the doors they were passing by. “And you never bothered to inspect the rooms you’d pass by on the way to places?”

“Rooms can often be several miles apart at a time,” Zelda said. “More often than not, we find it prudent not to dawdle.”

“Still…” Twilight said, trotting up to a plain-looking door. “How can you not be curious?” she asked, grabbing hold of the handle and giving it a twist. Pulling the door open, she found herself staring into a seemingly empty room. Twilight blinked for a moment, trotting in and wondering what the purpose of the chamber was when all of a sudden, a massive stone block carved in the shape of a ‘T’ fell from above, mere inches away from her face. Twilight fell backwards, just in time for another giant block shaped like an ‘L’ to fall to earth right where she was standing. The unicorn looked up, only to see a vast, empty black void above her and dozens of cuboid stones falling towards her in the shapes of squares, lines, and zigzags. Twilight yelped and quickly darted out the door, slamming it shut behind her and panting heavily.

“Is your curiosity satisfied?” Zelda asked, amused. Daisy was doubled over in laughter.

“Why, in the name of Equestria, is there a Falling Rocks room?!” Twilight shouted, shaking against the door. 

“If you haven’t yet figured it out, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Zelda said, calmly, “there is a lot about this place that we cannot make sense of.” She raised an eyebrow. “Now, though, you might understand why we do not randomly go pulling open doors?”

Twilight nodded, her throat dry. “Let’s just… get to the Dining Hall,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, come on!” Daisy said, whining a little. “We’re wasting away over here!”

“Come along then,” Zelda said, motioning to the company. “We shan’t tarry any longer.” She smiled, following the R.O.B. to the end of the hallway where they made a right turn down another corridor.

They walked for another few minutes before coming to a large set of bright red double doors with a gold frame. “Looks fancy,” Applejack muttered. “They ain’t gonna be servin’ us frou-frouey stuff like Quiche or Eggs Bennydict or what not, are they?”

Zelda chuckled slyly. “I can almost guarantee you, Miss Applejack, that you will find something you won’t mind eating,” she said, nodding to the R.O.B. The little robot nodded and pushed open the two massive doors, revealing the room beyond.

The three little ponies’ eyes widened, impressed at the scale of the room. Set up inside were ten long tables with enough space to seat the population of the Acropolis five times over. At the far end of the room was an even longer table, set up perpendicularly to the ten seating tables and absolutely overloaded with all kinds of breakfast foods from dry, plain cereals and toasts, to the fanciest quiches, souffles, and crepes, to the sugariest, most tooth-rotting donuts and cinnamon buns.

The ceiling stretched at least as high as the Great Hall’s did and was decorated with mosaics that seemed to depict more scenes from the contestants’ lives. Twilight observed one of Mario tossing that Bowser monster into a spiked ball, and another of Samus facing down what looked to be a giant brain in a jar. Looking closer, she could even see one of herself and her friends hitting Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony. Twilight couldn’t help but feel flattered at that.

Large chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, lit with bright, flickering torches which illuminated the plush, yellow and red trimmed room. The walls were decorated with bright red, white, and gold wallpaper and the clean, white tablecloths were also trimmed with gold. Twilight’s hooves sunk into the plush red carpet as she trotted into the room to look around.

It seemed that most of the population of the Acropolis was already here. At least thirty-five of the other contestants were all sitting and eating, either chatting with other members of the tournament or sitting off alone somewhere, keeping to themselves.

“Wow…” Twilight said with a little gasp. “It’s even bigger than the great dining hall at Canterlot Castle.”

“It does look a touch fancy for me, but I’m impressed,” AJ muttered, nodding to herself.

“Oh my…” Fluttershy gaped.

Zelda motioned to the far side of the room. “Feel free to help yourself. If there’s one thing we’ve learned, there is absolutely no shortage of food here.”

“Thank you, Princess Zelda!” Twilight said with a respectful bow before trotting off among her friends to raid the massive buffet table. Zelda moved to object to the bow but by the time she opened her mouth, the three little ponies had run off. The Princess of Hyrule sighed, losing her proper posture for a barely perceptible moment, only to jolt as she felt somebody patting her on the back. Twirling, her long skirt billowing as she turned on her heel, she saw Daisy, nodding sagely at her.

“I know that feel, sister,” Daisy said somberly. Zelda couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or if she was just joking around. She didn’t have a chance to ask as Daisy too quickly ran off towards the buffet table herself.

The three little ponies quickly managed to fill up large plates with their various breakfasts of choice. Applejack hovered around the fruit section, picking up apples and other fruits while Fluttershy picked more delicate fare, such as quiches and crepes. Twilight, on the other hoof, hovered around sections of the buffet table that held foods she didn’t recognize. The studious unicorn read the various labels on the collected dishes, looking for things that came from other worlds. ‘After all,’ she reasoned, ‘half the point of this tournament is cultural exchange. It’s only right that I try some of my competitors’ native fare.’

There was a little problem with this plan, though; most of the labels Twilight could read. It seemed that, against all odds, a number of the various other worlds seemed to use the same written script as Equestria, and she noticed a fair amount of meat around the table, which she couldn’t help but grimace at. Of course, there were omnivorous species in Equestria, like the Griffins and the Diamond Dogs, for example. But while Twilight did not mean to judge her fellow contenders by their diets, she had no intention of eating meat anytime soon.

Twilight hemmed and hawed as she trotted around the table, only to stop at what looked like an odd stew of some kind or another. It was a greenish-brown broth with what looked to be large, colorful chunks of vegetable in it. Twilight, though, couldn’t read the script upon the label. Whatever was in the stew looked safe enough to eat, but she didn’t feel it worth risking in case there was--

“Pikpik carrot and Hocotate onion stew,” came a voice from behind her.

Twilight jumped a little, turning to see a short, mostly bald man with a large nose and a big head wearing what looked to be a bulky yellow and red suit.

“I’m sorry?” Twilight stammered.

The little man pointed at the big pot on the table with the colorful veggies and broth. “The dish you’re looking at. It’s a Hocotatian dish called ‘Pikpius.’ It’s made from Pikpik carrots and Hocotate onions. No meat in it at all.”

“Oh, thank you!” Twilight said with a surprised smile. The purple unicorn turned to grab a bowl and ladle with her magic only to stop. She turned back to the little man with a suspicious eyebrow raised. “How did you know I was looking for something without meat?” she asked.

“Hm?” The small, funny-looking man cocked his head. “Oh, that was because of your teeth.”

“My… teeth?” Twilight asked, opening her mouth a little and feeling around with her tongue.

“Your teeth are flat and ridged, like an herbivore’s,” he said, pointing at Twilight’s mouth. “You have incisors and canines, suggesting that you can eat meat, but they are small, flatter, and less pronounced when compared to a creature with a carnivorous or omnivorous diet, suggesting your species does not eat meat often.” The little man pointed at her hooves. “Furthermore, your body structure and stance are reminiscent of other herbivores on multiple planets, suggesting that you are, or are at least descended from, herding prey animals as opposed to any sort of predator species. I’m no anthropologist, but such a species seems like it might develop some cultural taboo against eating meat if it were to evolve to the point where it could form a proper civilization.”

Twilight blinked, stupefied. She shook her head rapidly in an attempt to get her bearings. “That’s… right,” she stuttered. “All of that is right. How in Equestria did you figure all of that out?”

“I’m a xenobiologist,” the little man said proudly before sighing. “Or at least, I should be. I have a PhD and everything. But the economy is so terrible back on my planet that the only job I could get was as a delivery boy.”

“A delivery boy?” Twilight asked, incredulously. “But that’s ridiculous! You could immediately infer a lot of information about my species’ diet, evolutionary history, and even my culture just from a glance!”

The little man shrugged. “It’s really just a hobby at this point. I don’t get to use it very often,” he said, looking down at his own feet, mumbling sadly.

Twilight frowned for a moment, looking at the little man intently before letting out a puff of air and putting on her most winning smile. She held a hoof out to the funny-looking man and introduced herself. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.” she said, encouragingly.

The little man blinked a moment, his small eyes widening a little before he too smiled and grasped her hoof. “Captain Olimar,” he said.

Twilight smiled, scooping herself a large bowl of the viscous ‘Pikpius’ with her telekinesis before pointing at a table. “Would you like to sit with me, Olimar? I’m sure we’ll have a lot to talk about.”

Captain Olimar grinned, moving to scoop himself a bowl of the alien soup. “I think I’d like that, Twilight Sparkle.”


*     *     *


Applejack trotted around the large table in the center of the room where most of the contenders had congregated, a large plate of fruit balanced on her head. Stifling a yawn, the tired farm pony quickly found a seat next to a strange man in a red helmet and blue jumpsuit. 

“Okay if I sit here, pardner?” she asked the man.

The strange man quickly turned and looked down at her suspiciously through his face-obscuring mask, his eyes appearing as little more than white slits to the farm pony. “That depends…” he said guardedly.

Applejack blinked, shuffling nervously. “Er… depends on what?”

The man held up a donut in a yellow gloved hand and glared accusingly at her. “Are you going to steal my donuts?” he asked dangerously.

The farmer raised an eyebrow. “Um… no?”

“Then sure!” the man said, his whole demeanor changing as his face lifted into a bright, slightly cocky grin. With a swift kick, he knocked the chair away from the table and motioned for Applejack to sit down. “Name’s Douglas Falcon. Friends call me Captain Falcon,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Applejack,” the pony said, setting the plate of fruit down on the table and lifting a hoof to shake his hand.

“Oh I know who you are,” Captain Falcon said. “You and your friends are kinda the talk of the tournament at the moment.”

“We are?” Applejack said, cocking her head as she sat down in the chair and pulled herself up to her plate.

“Oh yeah,” Captain Falcon said, reaching out to pick up a donut, only to grab nothing but air. The captain looked perplexedly at his empty hand and the empty space in front of him, only to catch sight of a fat man in yellow and a tall lanky man in purple and black running away from the two of them, a plate of donuts held above the fat man’s head triumphantly as the two of them laughed.

“Damn punks!” the captain shouted, slamming his hands on the table and leaping to his feet. “Hold that thought, Applejack, I’ll be right back,” he growled, giving chase after the retreating forms of Wario and Waluigi.

Applejack blinked, following the three of them with her eyes as the two brothers burst out the door of the dining room, Captain Falcon giving chase not far behind.

“Well that was weird,” came a voice from behind her.

AJ turned to see that Princess Daisy had taken a seat next to her where Captain Falcon had been sitting. The princess sat with the chair turned around, the back of the chair facing the table and one arm propped up on top of the backrest as she stuffed a cinnamon bun into her mouth. “Those two are always causing trouble just for the fun of it. Doesn’t usually get too bad, but sometimes, if they get roped into something on the back of a bigger fish, they can actually get dangerous,” she said, talking with her mouth full. Swallowing, Daisy took a swig of some sort of juice and wiped her mouth with her arm. “They’re usually bright enough to stay outta Sarasaland, though... At least they have been ever since that business with Wario at the Golden Pyramid, anyway,” she chuckled, cracking her knuckles.

Applejack, however, wasn’t paying much attention. The farm pony shuddered a little, looking around to see that a lot of the contestants were looking right at her. “Ain’t sure I like the thought of being the ‘talk o’ the tournament’ much.”

“Hmm?” Daisy asked, looking down at her new friend. “What’s up?”

Applejack sighed. “I was just gettin’ used to bein’ surrounded by a buncha aliens and the like, but now I find out that they’re all talkin’ about me behind my back. I get that we got here weird and everybody’s on edge and whatnot, but we ain’t got nothin’ sinister or nothin’ planned.”

Daisy patted the pony on the back, causing her to seize up a little before relaxing. “Don’t worry about it too much, ponygirl,” she said, rocking back and forth in her backwards chair. “They aren’t so much talking about you as much as what your being here means.”

“Still don’t sit right with me.” Applejack looked around at the collected contenders, noticing several of them suddenly turning their heads away from her as she moved to look at them.

“Eh,” Daisy said, picking at her teeth with her pinkie finger. “If what Peach has said to me is true, they’re mostly good people. They’ll let up talking about you if you give it time. Just relax, girl.”

“Daisy Wilhelmina Rosepetal!” came a stern voice from behind the pair. 

The yellow-garbed princess groaned. “Speak of the harpy.”

Applejack turned to see a blonde woman in a pink, poofy dress with blue earrings and accents stomping up to the table. “Daisy, what do you think you’re doing?!”

Daisy stuffed a piece of cinnamon bun in her mouth, replying, “I’m eating.”

“You’re not even dressed!” Peach said, looking at her aghast. “And stop wiping your mouth with your arms! At least pretend you have a sense of decorum, won’t you?!”

Daisy stuck her tongue out at Peach and chomped down on another bun. “Lighten up, Peachy. It’s not like any of my ‘subjects’ are here to see me.”

“That hardly matters,” Peach said, grabbing the bun from her cousin and throwing it down on the plate. “And stop eating such junk! You have to maintain a proper diet if you want to keep your figure.”

“Pfffft,” Daisy snorted. “Maybe you have to watch what you eat, Peachy, but that’s just ‘cause you sit on your throne all day. If you bothered to lift a weight or punch a bag once in a while, you might actually be able to eat those fancy cakes you like to bake so much.”

“Baking and cake decorating are perfectly acceptable hobbies, unlike the sorts of things you engage yourself in,” Peach snapped.

Daisy glared. “Oh, sure. Martial arts aren’t ‘ladylike’ enough for Princess Peach. Even though she gets kidnapped every other week and her kingdom constantly beset by a dragon with an incompetent military that has been deterred dozens of times by mere squads of Sarasaland forces, it would simply be unthinkable for the great Princess Peach to even think about learning how to fight for herself.”

“I’ll have you know…” Peach seethed, “that when push comes to shove I am quite capable of defending myself.”

“With what? Frying pans and girly hip swinging?” Daisy scoffed. “And how many of these Smash matches have you won with that?”

Peach sniffed and straightened up, turning on her heel. “I suppose you’ll find out. Act like a slob if you like then. See if I care.” The pink-garbed princess stomped down past the table and pulled open the door sharply, slamming it behind her as she left the room.

Applejack blinked as Daisy snorted and shoved another bun in her mouth. “I think I’m missing something here?”

Daisy sighed, chewing thoughtfully. “Just a family spat that’s been going on for… probably just short of twenty years now…”

Applejack whistled. “That long?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Daisy sighed. “No biggie.”

Applejack looked down at her still full plate of food. “At least y’all got family to spat with. Applebloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith’re all back home on the farm while I’m stuck here.”

Daisy patted her on the back again. “Don’t worry about that. You’ll see them again.”

“Yeah, but in how long? Eight months? A year? Mario went’n said that this tournament takes a while.” She looked at Daisy sadly. “I ain’t never gone that long without my family around. Not even the time I ran off to Manehattan.”

Daisy looked at her plate of cinnamon buns quietly. “I wouldn’t know how it feels, I guess.”

“What d’ya mean?” Applejack asked. “Don’t you have a family waiting back home for ya?”

Daisy was silent for a moment before pushing her plate away. “It doesn’t matter.”

Applejack shrugged. “I think it does. Ain’t nothin’ more important than family.” Daisy twitched at her words, but Applejack kept going. “If Peach there is your kin, fussy, prissy, and frou-frouey as she seems, yer lucky to have her here. ‘N frankly, I don’t think y’all should let a little spat ruin how y’all behave ‘round each other.”

Daisy slammed her hands on the table, causing Applejack to jump. “How about you mind your own business?!” Daisy snapped as she wheeled around, turning a dangerous eye on the pony. The princess pushed back from the table and stood up. “You don’t know anything about us, okay Applejack? So how about you keep your sagely country-folksy advice to yourself on this one and don’t put your nose where it doesn’t belong?” she snapped, turning on a bare foot and stomping out the very same door Peach had left through not moments earlier, leaving Applejack dumbfoundedly staring after her. The princess bumped into Captain Falcon on the way out before slamming the door behind her.

Applejack couldn’t help but stare and blink after her. “What in the hay just happened?!” she asked herself as she replayed what had just occurred back in her head. The first person who she could call a friend here had just blown up in her face and told her off, just for suggesting that she should settle a spat with a cousin. The farm pony couldn’t imagine what had just happened to bring that about. 

The captain looked perplexed for a moment, hanging by the door he had just entered back through before heading back to his place at the table next to Applejack. “Ooh, cinnamon buns!” he said, sitting back down. “You gonna eat these?”

Applejack shook her head.

“Sweet!” the captain said, reaching for one, only for the plate of buns to suddenly lift off the table and sail across the room into the maw of a giant blue penguin.

“Dammit, Dedede!”


*     *     *


Fluttershy hid behind her mane a little, watching Twilight wander off with another contestant. Part of her was tempted to follow and sit with them, but she froze a little when they sat down right next to a bunch of other strange and frightening-looking creatures. Fluttershy had been hoping that she and her friends could all sit together at a table, away from all the other incredibly intimidating contestants. The yellow pegasus shivered, the plate balanced on her back wobbling a little but dropping nothing. Fluttershy looked for Applejack, hoping to sit with her instead, only to see her seated with that Daisy woman, and Fluttershy wasn’t sure she liked her so much. She seemed loud and maybe a little mean. After all, she laughed when Twilight almost got hit by a giant rock back in the hallway.

Fluttershy whimpered a little, looking for a place she could sit alone, but every table was taken up by somebody or another. Most of the supposed ‘good guys’ were sitting together in the middle tables of the room, creating a fairly large crowd that Fluttershy didn’t want to get into the middle of. On the other hoof, the creatures sitting in more isolated places along the other tables were the ones that looked to be of the more ‘villainous’ persuasion, and she didn’t fancy sitting near any of them either.

Fluttershy looked around the cavernous room for a moment before finally pinpointing a strange-looking man off in a corner of the room. He didn’t seem particularly villainous, but at the same time looked isolated enough that maybe, just maybe, she might be able to approach him and not completely lose her nerve. 

Fluttershy gulped and slowly crept over toward him, trying to keep herself as small and unnoticeable as possible before she finally managed to make it to the table where the man was sitting, staring at a plate of fried eggs.

“Ummm… Hello?” Fluttershy squeaked.

The strange man looked up. He had a stern-looking face that made Fluttershy shrink in on herself, but she didn’t sense any hostility from him either. 

“Hey,” the man said, gruffly, scratching at his beard and turning back to his eggs, poking at them with a fork.

Fluttershy scooted up to the edge of the table and placed the plate atop it, scooting into a chair. “M-my name is Fluttershy.”

The man didn’t bother to look up as he replied. “Snake,” he said.

“Oh!” Fluttershy suddenly brightened. “Your name is Snake? How nice. Do you like snakes?”

Snake looked at the little pony, an eyebrow raised. “Not really.”

Fluttershy wilted a little, her ears turning down and her face turning into an embarrassed frown. “Oh… sorry…”

The two of them sat in awkward silence for a moment. Fluttershy poked at her breakfast with a hoof, occasionally bringing a piece of quiche up to her mouth and taking a dainty bite while Snake moved his eggs around on his plate with his fork. Fluttershy did everything she could to try and avoid eye contact, but she could feel Snake’s heavy stare lingering upon her. Every so often she would dare to cast a fleeting glance up at her observer, only to dart her eyes away again. The strange man was looking at her with a calculating but puzzled gaze, one gloved hand occasionally reaching up to scratch his beard. 

Fluttershy was quickly coming to the conclusion that she’d picked the wrong person to sit with. She didn’t feel necessarily unsafe sitting next to the man. It was obvious that he was sizing her up, but not like a piece of meat or some sort of prey. Rather, like she was some sort of mystery or obstacle to be overcome. It made her feel, not so much in danger, but certainly uncomfortable. She could feel beads of sweat dripping down the back of her neck and her wings twitched a little, ready to fly away should his demeanor change.

The mood quickly lifted when she heard Snake give out a long, grumbling sigh. The pegasus dared a glance up and saw him leaning back in his seat, gazing at her almost tiredly. “Is there something you want?” he asked.

“Um…” Fluttershy muttered. “N-not really. It’s just… you were sitting here all alone and I… well… I didn’t want to sit with a big crowd, so…”

“So you risked coming to sit with one of the folks that everybody else avoids?” Snake raised an eyebrow.

Fluttershy stuttered. “W-well… you didn’t seem very mean or dangerous, so… I guess I just thought it would be… safer?”

Snake chuckled, his mouth lifting into a grim smile. “You need to rethink your instincts, kid. What makes you think I’m safe to be around?” 

Fluttershy’s eyes darted back and forth. “Um… well… you weren’t glaring at the other people here like you wanted to hurt them for one thing.” Fluttershy pointed at a man in black armor with green skin and bright red hair across the room. “I mean, that person, for example. He’s looking at Link like he wants to hurt him really badly.”

Snake looked up to see the little pony pointing across the room at Ganondorf. Indeed, the villainous, green sorcerer was looking across the room, glaring directly at the green-garbed hero with barely restrained rage in his eyes.

“You were just over here, slumped over your plate,” Fluttershy continued. “You looked lonely more than anything. Maybe a little scary, but not dangerous.”

“Hnnnh…” Snake said, his face not betraying any emotion. Deep down, he was slightly impressed by how observant the little yellow pony was, but not an iota of that made it to his expression. “Not everything is always how it looks.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “Well, no,” she said, “but not everything is always some big lie or secret either.”

“You’d be surprised,” Snake grumbled, his eyes suddenly going far away, drifting from Fluttershy and off into a corner of the room.

The two of them sat in silence again for a minute before Snake turned back to Fluttershy, who was still watching him, no longer seeming intimidated but rather fascinated. Her wings were no longer twitching, but instead folded neatly behind her back as she looked intently at him, her head cocked a little. 

“What?” Snake snapped.

“Oh, um,” Fluttershy’s ears drooped and she hid her face behind her mane, ducking down a little. “Nothing… it’s nothing.”

Snake sighed again, stabbing an egg with his fork and quickly wolfing down a large chunk. “So, what did you do to get in here?”

Fluttershy blinked, turning back to him. “What do you mean?”

Snake pointed across the room, continuing to stab eggs and shovel them into his mouth. Fluttershy followed his finger to see he was pointing straight at Mario, sitting across the room from them. “Mario threw a dragon into a pit of lava to save a princess.” He moved his finger to a boyish, winged fellow sitting next to the plumber. “Pit defeated the Goddess of the Underworld and saved his people.” He finally pointed to himself. “I blew up a giant robot. Three times. What did you do to get here?”

The little pony blushed. “Oh, well… it really wasn’t much.”

“Girlie, nobody gets here for just being an average Tom, Dick, or Harry,” Snake grunted.

“W-well…” she stuttered, blushing even harder and hiding behind her mane again, “I might have helped save Equestria a few times… I didn’t really play as big a part as my friends though. I’m really not that special.”

“Don’t believe that for a second,” Snake muttered.

“I’m sorry?” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Like I said,” Snake grumbled. “You don’t get in here by being average. Can’t say I know what, but the Hand sees something in you that you don’t see.”

“O-oh…” Fluttershy mumbled, her face bright red. “Well… um… thank you.”

“Not a compliment. Just saying it like it is,” Snake grunted, turning back to his eggs.

Fluttershy smiled meekly, only for a new voice to snap her out of her comfort.

“Well, isn’t this sweet.”

The little pegasus stiffened, but dared not look as she heard another body slide into the chair next to hers. Her body seized as she felt a black, chitinous hoof drape over her withers, the large form of Queen Chrysalis sidling close to her. Fluttershy squeaked weakly as she felt the Queen take hold of her head and pull it closely into her breast.

“I mean that literally,” she cooed mockingly. “The taste of your budding friendship is really quite delicious. A nice little cocktail of curiosity, respect, and just enough nervousness to give it a kick. You really make for some delectable pickings, dear Fluttershy.” She looked over Snake, sizing him up like a piece of meat. “I must say, I’m surprised in your choice of friends, though. So much bitterness in this one.” She smacked her lips before looking down at Fluttershy. “You really need to learn to pick them better, my little pony. I don’t see this one opening up to you like one of your injured vermin anytime soon. He doesn’t seem to care about much.”

“Please get off…” Fluttershy squeaked, so softly she could barely be heard.

“Oh come now, dear Fluttershy. You mustn’t be so rude,” Chrysalis said, stroking the shivering pony’s mane. “Why would you push me away? It’s hardly becoming of the Element of Kindness, and so unlike you to turn away a hungry creature…” She turned Fluttershy’s head to face hers, her eyes flashing green. A pink energy started to drain out of the pegasus, collecting in the Queen’s mouth.

“Please… please stop…” Fluttershy squeaked, screwing her eyes shut.

“Oh, why would I do that?” Queen Chrysalis chuckled. “I haven’t had a good well of emotion to draw off of in months, since I was trapped in that accursed castle. And right now, your friends are too busy making time for their new friends to help poor, little, abandoned Fluttershy. It seems the perfect time to sneak in a light meal,” she murred, humming deeply as she drew more pink energy out of the pegasus. “Or perhaps a heavy one. It’s not like you have a shortage of love, after all.”

“That’s enough.”

The flow of energy stopped as the Queen turned to look across the table. Snake stood, his hands clasped around a metal, L-shaped object that Chrysalis didn’t recognize. She sneered at him. “Do you mind? I’m eating here.”

“As a matter of fact,” Snake said, leveling the strange object at her, “I do mind.” He jerked his strange device to the side and then back at her. “Now back off, bug.”

The queen raised an eyebrow. “Oh come now. I can barely sense the faintest trace of care in you. What does it matter to you if I do lunch with my friend Fluttershy here?”

“I said back off. I’m not going to ask you again.”

Chrysalis chuckled. “Oh? And if I refuse?”

Snake lowered his weapon slightly to the side, only for a bright flash to emit from the end of it and a loud BANG to resound through the hall. The noise made Queen Chrysalis jump, releasing her captive and scrabbling back a few paces. Fluttershy squealed in fright, covering her head with her hooves and ducking under the table.

“What in the hive was that?!” Chrysalis hissed, staring at the smoking hole now in the table that hadn’t been there a split second before.

“Snake!” a voice shouted from across the room. The Queen and Snake looked up to see that every occupant in the room was now looking directly at them. At the front of the crowd, hands on her hips, was Princess Zelda. “What did we say about guns?!” the irate princess snapped.

Snake grumbled, holstering the weapon.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight shouted as she and Applejack galloped up to her. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“What in the hay were y’all doin to her?!” Applejack snapped, wheeling on the Queen.

Queen Chrysalis sneered. “Just snacking. You really shouldn’t overreact so much, Applejack.”

“You were feeding off of her!” Twilight looked aghast. “How dare you go after my friends like that?!”

Queen Chrysalis waved her off. “Oh please, a little skimming off the top never hurt anypony.”

“Tell that to my brother!” Twilight snarled.

“Oh yes…” Queen Chrysalis tapped her chin. “He was very filling. I’d almost forgotten about him. How is dear little Shiny, anyw-OOF!” The Queen was suddenly hurled back as a blast of purple magic caught her in the chest. The whole room stared in shock as Queen Chrysalis sailed back over forty feet before colliding with the far wall, sliding to the floor a moment later.

“Twilight!” Fluttershy and Applejack both gasped. The purple unicorn was pawing at the ground with a hoof, her horn glowing an angry red-purple while her eyes shone with a fiery white light.

The Queen picked herself up from the ground and shook her head, flashing Twilight with a toothy, fanged grin. “That’s the spirit, Twilight. It’s a fighting tournament, after all! Let’s see how much you can dish out!” The Queen suddenly reared up and disappeared in a burst of green fire, appearing again in a flash of flame not a foot from Twilight, ready to bring her hooves down upon the little pony’s head.

A flash of yellow came from nowhere and the two combatants were suddenly sent spinning.

The Queen stumbled, falling to her hooves with her back to the purple pony. Twilight lost balance as the glow in her horn sparked, sending a purple fireball into the far wall away from the changeling queen before toppling to the ground. Taking a second to get their bearings, the two turned to see Mario standing before them, a golden cape in his hand.

“That’s enough out of you both!” he snapped, looking disappointed at Twilight and angry at Chrysalis. The plumber reached back and stuffed the silky golden cape into his back pocket, fixing the both of them with a pointed glare. “If you have to have a grudge match, go out to any of the stages around here, but no fighting where the other contestants are going to get caught in the crossfire!” Mario turned on Twilight. “Now you get yourself under control,” he said before turning to the Queen, “and you, no feeding on the other contestants.” He shook his head. “That shouldn’t even be a thing I have to say!”

Queen Chrysalis snarled. “And when I collapse from starvation? What then?”

Mario’s eyes narrowed. “If you can get somebody to feed you willingly then fine, but no taking anything by force. We can’t have that around here.”

The Queen snorted, turning on her hoof. “If we could get emotion willingly we wouldn’t have to steal it in the first place,” she grumbled, stomping through the silent dining hall and out the massive double doors.

Mario turned back to look at Twilight, whose head was drooping and her eyes downcast. “I’m sorry, Mario,” she said, her voice abashed.

Mario sighed. “Many of us have to deal with our enemies being closer than we’d like and taunting us every day, Twilight. We can’t just attack them willy nilly. If we did it’d be chaos.”

“I know… I’m sorry I lost control.”

The plumber nodded, only to jump a little as a siren suddenly started sounding through the dining hall. The contestants, who had all been watching the intense scene before them with interest suddenly started to get up and file towards the door.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack shouted, grabbing her hat and turning the sides down over her ears. Fluttershy squealed, clamping her hooves over her ears and darting beneath her chair.

“Mario?” Twilight looked around, panicked. “What’s going on?! Are we being attacked by something?”

The siren’s noise quickly tapered off and went silent as Mario chuckled and waved her off. “Don’t worry, Twilight. That’s just the sound to let us know that a match is about to begin!” he said, turning around and walking to the exit with the rest of the contestants. “Come along now. We need to get to the Great Hall!”

The three little ponies looked between each other before shrugging. Twilight and Applejack followed quickly after Mario but Fluttershy held back a little. The little yellow pegasus poked her nose over the side of the table, looking at Snake, who had only just gotten up from his seat.

“Um…” she said softly. “Snake?”

“Hrm?” the grizzled man asked around a strange, smoking stick in his mouth.

“I just wanted to say… thanks for getting Chrysalis to back off,” she said, looking down a little.

Snake raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I mean… I don’t know how changeling feeding works but,” Fluttershy stuttered, trying to get her bearings. “I mean, it can’t be good for ponies. And you didn’t have to do anything to stop her so… thanks,” she said with a blush.

“Don’t mention it,” Snake grunted, walking towards the door with long strides.

Fluttershy smiled and followed him through the door and out towards the Great Hall.


*     *     *


The Great Hall filled most of the way up relatively quickly. Most of the contestants had been in the general vicinity of the Dining Hall when the siren went off, so they mostly all arrived around the same time. Some of the contestants, though, had been elsewhere in the massive structure of the Acropolis and took longer to show up. Fluttershy’s roommate, for example, took several minutes to show, clutching his head like it was about to burst and refusing to speak to anybody. 

The scene had been very similar to the previous evening as they waited for everybody to arrive. The contestants simply mingled amongst each other, like old friends for the most part, and like nothing had even happened back in the Dining Hall. Twilight assumed that that couldn’t have been the first time something like that had happened and that most of the contestants were used to the occasional outburst. That didn’t stop the three ponies from getting the occasional odd glance from a contestant as the three of them sat in a corner, away from most of them. Under normal circumstances, Twilight would have been ecstatic to talk to creatures from other worlds, but she was still feeling rather embarrassed of herself from earlier. Applejack was still on edge around most of the contestants and Fluttershy was… well… Fluttershy.

Finally, the last contestant stalked through the doors of the Great Hall. Samus’ face was hidden behind her visor, but everybody seemed to separate around her, as if anger was just radiating off of her in waves, telling everyone to ‘get out of the way or else.’

The chatter and conversations in the Great Hall suddenly hushed as the lights dimmed. Fluttershy squeaked as all light was snuffed out, leaving the Great Hall in total darkness, when suddenly, the room was illuminated by a massive, holographic grid appearing above them, lit against the far wall. The ponies all gasped as they beheld a picture of every contestant with an accompanying name beneath them in each little section of the grid. 

“FREE FOR ALL!” came the booming voice of the Master Hand from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. A little window appeared in front of the roster that read ‘One on One,’ setting the terms for the battle. The window disappeared and was replaced by two circles, one red and the other blue, both of which started spinning around and floating on the grid.

“I wonder who it’s gonna pick first,” Applejack said with a gulp. Fluttershy shivered, her eyes locked on the picture of her, smiling sweetly, sitting in between Applejack and Queen Chrysalis’ faces. 

The red circle randomly swept over Twilight’s face and she tensed, only for it to pass and her shoulders sagged in relief, only to tense again as the blue circle approached. This repeated several times.

Finally, the red circle came to a stop over a familiar face.

“LINK,” came Master Hand’s voice.

A cheer came up from many of the contestants as the crowd parted around the green-capped hero. Link blushed and chuckled a little, scratching the back of his head as a spotlight came down from the ceiling and shone upon him.

The ponies all let out a sigh of relief for a second as their eyes all locked on the blue circle, still spinning around the grid. The circle approached the ponies’ names once more, each of them tensing, only for it to veer off to the left and alight on another person.

“SAMUS.”

Applejack and Fluttershy seemed to relax as a spotlight shone down upon the armored bounty huntress, eliciting more cheers from the crowd. Samus stood stock still as the other contestants clapped and hooted around her. Twilight, though, couldn’t help but feel a pang of unease as she looked between Link and Samus. Something about the matchup felt very wrong to her.

“But…” she muttered under her breath, “but they’re friends, aren’t they?”

“STAGE SELECTION,” came Master Hand’s booming shout, cutting off anything Twilight might have had to say. The grid of contestants was suddenly replaced with a different grid, each section containing a picture of a different environment of some kind. Twilight gasped as she recognized a number of them from the sights she saw of the patchwork Smashworld during her flight in Samus’ gunship.

“So that’s what they meant by ‘getting the lay of the land,’” she muttered.

The red and blue circles were replaced by a larger, gray circle which spun around on the ‘stage grid,’ randomly looking to select a stage for Link and Samus to fight upon. Finally, it seemed to settle upon a woody-looking area.

“THE SACRED GROVE,” said the Master Hand as the picture of the woody area suddenly expanded, overtaking the rest of the grid and coming into focus.

Link looked to bristle a little, raising an eyebrow. Zelda, too, seemed to stiffen a touch, but went back to her normal impassive stance in a mere moment. And then, without warning, the spotlights on Link and Samus seemed to intensify as the two of them suddenly vanished in a burst of blue, swirling light.

The ponies all gasped as the two fighters disappeared into thin air, but were suddenly accosted by the appearance of Mario.

“Hold onto your hooves, ponies,” he chuckled.

A bright burst of light suddenly flashed through the Great Hall and the world went sideways.


*     *     *


Twilight blinked as the world came back into focus. Her stomach felt like it had done a dozen backflips and her hooves felt like jelly. It was a sensation that she had long since thought she’d gotten over: post-teleport sickness.

The little unicorn looked around to see that she was sitting on a set of bleachers, like the ones one might see in an outdoor sports ring. Next to her on one side was Applejack, with Fluttershy on the farmpony’s other side.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack sputtered, shaking her head, her eyes spinning in their sockets.

“I think…” Twilight burped a little. “I think we’ve been teleported. To a sports field of some kind, apparently.”

“Look!” Fluttershy shouted, pointing down and in front of the group.

Twilight and Applejack both looked, only to gasp at the sight of a forest about twenty feet down below the apparently-floating block of bleachers, which was filled up with all forty-eight other contestants of the tournament. Fluttershy pointed to a clearing a little ways into the forest where two figures could be seen facing each other in a small patch of ruined masonry, one of them dressed in green and the other in bright orange. 

“It’s Samus and Link!” Twilight gasped.

“Do y’all think they’re actually gonna fight?” Applejack asked.

“That’s-a right!” came Mario’s Italian-accented voice as he sat down next to Twilight. “It’s what the tournament’s about, after all!”

“But they’re friends!” Twilight protested. “Why would they fight each other? Is Link actually going to use that sword he carries around?!” she asked in a near panic.

“Easy, Twilight Sparkle,” Mario said, pointing to another holographic screen that appeared over the forest. “Just watch and everything will be made clear.”

The screen that appeared over the forest gave the contestants a better view of the two fighters in the middle of the stage than they had before. Samus and Link both got into fighting stances as they stared each other down.

“Sorry Link,” came Samus’ voice, “but I got some shit to work through. Hope you don’t mind me caving your face in this time.”

The ponies all gasped. Twilight turned to Mario. “She wouldn’t--?” she started, aghast.

Mario shrugged. “Just watch, Twilight.”

“But--” she protested.

Mario shook his head. “Don’t worry Twilight. We’re all still here, aren’t we?” 

Twilight blinked as she turned back and forth between Mario and Link on the screen, who shrugged while unsheathing his deadly-looking sword. It didn’t make sense if they were actually striking each other with deadly weapons that they should all still be alive and kicking.

“Just what is going on here, Mario?” Twilight tried to ask, only to be cut off by the booming voice of Master Hand.

“READY…” came the massive shout, booming across the land as the two combatants readied themselves to charge at each other on the screen.

“Wait!” Twilight protested. “Will somebody please explain--”

“GO!”





> Ch6: Free For All! Link vs. Samus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________


Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 6 - Free for All! Link vs. Samus



The split-second the Master Hand made the call, the two warriors sprung into action. Faster than anybody could blink, Link reached back and yanked a longbow out from seemingly nowhere behind his back. Notching an arrow, the elven hero pulled back and let the barbed shaft fly through the air at his opponent.

Samus wasted no time in getting the fight started herself. The bounty huntress rolled herself into a ball, far too small to reasonably fit into and rolled forward, the arrow sailing harmlessly over her. Flipping out of the ball and into a kneeling stance, Samus leveled her arm cannon and fired two glowing green missiles at the hero, who responded by notching two more arrows and, with deadly precision, fired them into the oncoming projectiles. 

The missiles exploded in a cloud of fire, dust, and shrapnel. Link leapt backwards and, out of the same mysterious hammerspace he’d pulled his bow from, grabbed a boomerang shaped like a pegasus wing and hurled it at the flaming cloud. The boomerang, through magic or perhaps some other means, suddenly let out a burst of wind and a small tornado swept through the grove, blowing away the flames and ash from the explosion, only to reveal that Samus had vanished.

Link’s keen eyes swept over the Sacred Grove as he caught his boomerang on its return. The explosion had given ample distraction and provided cover for Samus to slip away somewhere, and Link was determined to figure out where before she could strike. Suddenly, though, his large ears picked up a beeping sound coming from behind him. Link swiveled his head around to see a red morph-ball bomb stuck to his own boomerang. Before he could do anything the bomb exploded in his hand, sending him tumbling across the forest floor and into a stream.



*     *     *


“LINK!” Twilight cried, leaping to her hooves and leaning over the edge of the floating bleachers to get a closer look. The hero was sprawled on his back, his upper body submerged in a stream that flowed through the grove. Applejack clutched her hat to her chest and Fluttershy was desperately covering her eyes with her hooves. Twilight set her horn aglow, ready to teleport to the green-garbed hero’s aid, only for a hand to close around it.

“Ah ah ah!” Mario said as his hand gently gripped her horn, causing the magic to discharge as a bright purple spark at the tip. “You’re not getting away from me that easily a second time.”

Twilight yanked herself away from the mustachioed plumber and fixed him with a glare. “How can you just sit there?!” she shouted. “Link just got blown up and now he’s drowning!”

“Not exactly,” came a voice from behind her. Twilight turned to see Princess Zelda stepping down to their level in the bleachers. The princess took a moment to clear her skirt before sitting down delicately next to Twilight. “Take another look,” she bade them, gesturing to the battlefield.

Twilight turned to look, Applejack and Fluttershy returning their gazes as well, just in time to see Link picking himself up out of the stream, shaking the water out of his eyes and taking up his sword again.

The ponies all gaped. The purple unicorn wheeled on Zelda. “But… how?!” she protested. “That blast was big enough that the shockwave alone should have liquified his organs!” 

Zelda patted the seat between her and Mario with a gloved hand. “If you calm down and watch with us, I’ll explain,” she said, motioning for Twilight to sit down.

Twilight looked back and forth between the hero looking around the battlefield below and her friends sitting next to her with reassuring smiles, before finally letting out a long sigh and sitting down, Applejack and Fluttershy scooting closer to the three of them. The unicorn fixed Mario with a glare. “If it starts looking like they’re getting seriously hurt, I’m going down there,” she said.

“You won’t have to,” Mario said calmly, patting her hoof. “Just watch and let us explain how this works…”



*     *     *



Link looked around the battlefield, ignoring the freezing sensation of the ice cold water soaking his clothes. His opponent was hiding somewhere and he wasn’t about to let her get the drop on him. The warrior took a deep breath, closing his eyes and listening to the world around him. Living at the edge of a dangerous forest all his life had heightened his senses and given him an awareness of the world around him. Link tuned out the cheering and braying of the crowd above and focused on the grove around him. He heard every rustle of breeze through the leaves and every snapping branch under the feet of the wildlife constructs the Smashworld made to populate the land as they roamed the forest. Taking a deep breath, he listened and felt for his foe.

A rush of air came from above and behind him and he heard the distinct sound of running boots. Link’s eyes flashed open and he whirled around just in time to see Samus leaping off a high ledge, her arm cannon aimed down at him and a charged blast crackling at the end of its barrel. In one swift motion, Link ducked down and raised his Hylian shield just as Samus fired her charged shot. The crackling ball of energy met enchanted metal as Samus flipped over the Hylian hero and landed behind him, turning on a heel to face him. He, in turn, moved to face her, his shield glowing hot on his arm after reflecting her shot.

Drawing his sword, Link let out a battle cry and charged toward the huntress with a loud “Hyaaaaah!” lunging at her with his blade aimed squarely at her neck. Samus took a half-step back and brought her cannon-arm up to meet the sword in midair, blocking the strike. The huntress followed it up with a swing of her left fist to the hero’s gut, causing him to double over as a bright flash briefly went up from his midsection. Left open, Link soon found himself on the bad end of several blows from Samus’ cannon arm, one clocking the back of his head, and another bashing him in the nose, each crack of her cannon causing another bright flash to appear.

Link stumbled back, rubbing his nose and barely avoiding another strike by raising his shield. Kneeling down, he took a swipe at Samus’ knees, causing the huntress to stumble and fall backwards onto her back. Samus recovered by collapsing into a tiny ball again and rolling back away from him a pace before reforming.

Link pressed his advantage, getting to his feet and dashing forward, slashing at her midsection and managing to get in a hit as Samus recovered. The Master Sword cut through the air with a hiss and with another cry of “Hyaaah!” Link spun on one foot, knocking Samus back as his sword cut through her over and over again as he held the blade out. Sparks flew and light flashed as the blade cut into her power armor again and again, before the deadly attack finally ended and Samus was sent flying backwards into a tree before slumping to the ground at its base. 

The hero did not let up, dashing several paces forward, his sword held down by his legs and his body tense. Then, with all his might, he slung the sword over his head in a powerful arc, bringing it down upon his opponent before she could get back to her feet. The blow caught Samus in the belly and knocked her back into the tree once again, causing her to ricochet off of it and land behind him on her stomach.

Link pirouetted on one foot to meet his foe, advancing upon her once again. Leaping into the air, he swung his sword downwards beneath him, ready to stab down at her as gravity brought him back to earth. Samus didn’t give him the chance, though Rolling to one side out of danger, she suddenly leapt up from her prone position and tackled him in midair with a spinning flip as electric energy coursed around her suit. Link cried out as he caught a combination of her flipping kicks and electrical discharge right in the center mass, throwing off his attack and sending him skidding across the ground.



*     *     *



“I don’t get it…” Twilight said, watching the fight on the large holographic screen above the arena proper. She still felt uneasy watching these two supposed friends fighting so brutally and with such deadly weapons, but the fact that neither of them had yet keeled over kept her from teleporting into the fray herself to break it up. “Those blows from Samus should have broken his ribs and fractured his skull. And I get that her armor provides her some defense, but it doesn’t even look scratched!”

Mario leaned forward and pointed at the fight on the screen. “Look closer,” he said, gesturing to the fray. “Watch closely when they land a blow and tell me what you see.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes and watched the screen. Link picked himself up off the ground, only for Samus to leap forward and snare him in some sort of beam of light that seemed to wrap around his neck. With a jerk of her arm, Samus reeled the green-garbed hero in like a fish on a line and proceeded to elbow him in the face several times.

Twilight winced, forcing herself not to look away and watch each and every blow connect. “I see two friends fighting each other senselessly.”

“Really beatin’ the tar outta each other,” Applejack commented, grimly. “Last time we got in a scrap like that we were fightin’ for our lives against the Changeling swarm.” She shook her head. “T’ain’t right to make friends fight like this.”

“Look again,” Zelda said, pointing just as Link broke free of the snare, only to receive a kick to the gut in another flash of light. “There! Did you see it?”

Twilight squinted. “That flash?”

“Exactly!” Zelda smiled faintly. “Those flashes appear every time a blow connects. That’s the key to this whole tournament.”

Twilight cocked her head and turned to meet Zelda’s eyes. “I’ll admit, I see no reason for their attacks to be flashing like that. What are they?”

Mario shrugged. “We have no clue.”

The ponies’ ears turned back. Twilight facehoofed while Applejack groaned and threw her head back. Fluttershy simply remained silent as she watched the fight.

“Welp,” Applejack huffed, “that don’t help a lick.”

Zelda chuckled. “I’ll try to explain. We don’t know exactly what it is, but most of us call it the ‘trophy field,’” she said.

“Trophy field?” Twilight asked, watching as Link beaned Samus over the head with the hilt of his sword, revealing another flash. “What does it do?”

Zelda cleared her throat. “The best way to describe it,” she explained, “is that it’s something like an unstable, skintight force field, only visible in brief flashes when something impacts against it with great enough force.”

“Fascinating…” Twilight mused, watching as Link gained the upper hand and pulled a bomb out of his pouch, chucking it at Samus where it exploded upon impact, sending her hurtling into the base of a broken stone column. The huntress rolled on her side before swinging her arm cannon out and firing a missile back at him. Twilight winced as the missile exploded in Link’s face, sending him tumbling back as well.

Twilight turned back to Zelda. “It seems inefficient, though,” she mused. “If the force field is skintight, some of the kinetic energy from the blows you receive is going to be transferred through the field.”

The princess nodded. “Yes, which is why, even though the field absorbs most of the impact and keeps us from truly getting damaged, you’ll still feel every blow and maybe pick up a bruise or two. Rarely does it get any worse than that.” She raised an eyebrow and eyed Mario. “We’ve got a doctor on call here if you actually do get injured somehow, though.”

“Really?” Twilight asked.

Mario grinned. “Yep! He’s a charming fella.” He chuckled, watching as Samus dashed towards Link, reeling her arm cannon back for a haymaker. Link barely ducked out of the way before slashing low at Samus’ ankles, sweeping her off her feet. Samus barely dodged another swipe by morphing into a ball again and dropping a bomb at the hero’s feet, knocking Link back a couple paces. 

Twilight cleared her throat. “But getting back to the point,” she said, “why would you use skintight force fields when they’re so inefficient? Wouldn’t it be better to have a wider field?”

“We didn’t choose what kind of force field we had,” Mario said with a shrug. “It comes with being here.”

Zelda nodded in agreement. “In fact, as we speak, you three each have one surrounding you, too.”

Twilight started, blinking rapidly. “Really?!” she gasped, poking at herself with her hoof. “But I can still feel my own coat. There’s nothing getting in the way. And I didn’t notice any magical effects placed on myself or my friends when we got here!”

Zelda huffed slightly. “That would be why everything I’ve come up with on the topic is only theory,” she explained. “We still know very little about how the trophy field, or many other things here for that matter, work,” she said. “According to my research, it doesn’t act like any magical force field I’ve ever seen. And other contenders, such as Fox and Samus, who deal with other kinds of force fields on a daily basis, claim it acts differently from anything they’ve seen either.”

“Fascinating…” Twilight mused, continuing to poke at her own belly with her hoof, Applejack doing the same. Fluttershy seemed to just continue to shrink in on herself at the revelation that the Smashworld was doing things to her without her knowledge. Twilight looked at Zelda, who continued.

“At this juncture, we can only assume that the Master gave us such a specific sort of force field rather than a normal dome field because watching two people just stand there and throw things at each other until one of the fields breaks would make for a boring fight,” Zelda said.

“But what does happen when one of the fields breaks?” Twilight asked with a worried look.

Mario smirked wryly. “Keep watching, Twilight. You’ll see soon enough.”



*     *     *



Link grunted in pain. His ribs had been bruised by a heavy blow from Samus straight to the chest, which had sent him reeling into a patch of thorny bushes. The trophy field had, as always, absorbed most of the impact and kept him from getting scratched up by the brambles, but he wasn’t sure how much more his field had in it before it was overloaded. The hero turned as he heard footsteps rapidly approaching from behind. He swung his sword around in a wide arc in an attempt to catch Samus in the midsection. His aim was true, but Samus held her arms up, blocking the blade’s arc with her armor. Disengaging from his opponent, Link pulled his sword back before lunging forward in an attempt to stab her.

Link’s eyes widened as Samus ducked down beneath his blow, the blade just missing the top of her helmet. The world seemed to slow down as Samus pulled her arm cannon back, and then thrusted it forward at his feet. Time crawled as a bright pinprick of light formed at the end of her cannon’s barrel, charging up with power. The hero desperately tried to get back into a position to try and stop her, but he had exposed himself with his lunge. The pinprick of light grew into a bright yellow ball of flame and energy at his feet, building in power and growing into a miniature sun right beneath him. All in the space of a split-second, the yellow ball turned red, and then finally…

KRAKOOM!

Link felt his trophy field burst in a flash of arcing red energy and electricity. He heard the crowd above him cheer as the world exploded into light and he felt his limbs lock up and his organs stop functioning. His feet left the ground as he was launched straight into the air and a cold sensation, starting at the tip of his fingers and crawling down his limbs, slid over him like a sort of chilled oil. Looking over his limbs while his mind raced, he saw them grow metallic and stiff, like metal or stone, as he rocketed into the sky. He didn’t even realize that he was screaming, not until his voice box locked up when the chilling, hardening sensation reached it. As he flew at untold speeds into the air, he rocketed past the bleachers, above the treeline, and up into the clouds, before the sensation completely covered his head just as he began descending. The world went black.



*     *     *



“Sweet Mother of Celestia!”

“What in the hay?!”

“Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!”

Mario raised his hands, trying to calm the three ponies. “Hey hey, girls!” he said, trying to get their attention. “Don’t worry, Link is fine!”

Twilight pointed up at the sky. “Fine?!” she barked. “He was just launched a mile into the air by an explosion! How is that fine?!”

“Fella’ll be street pizza when he comes down!” Applejack said, worriedly watching where Link had disappeared above the treeline. “That’s iffn’ he don’t stop breathin’ before he hits the ground!”

“Oh, if only Rainbow Dash were here...” Fluttershy fretted.

“Girls, girls, please,” Mario bade of them. “He’s alright, I swear!” he said. “Didn’t you wonder why we called the force field the ‘trophy field?’”

Twilight whirled on him like she was going to snap, but then frowned thoughtfully. She opened her mouth and closed it again, taking a deep breath through her nose and then letting it out—. Fixing Mario with a neutral stare, she spoke with a calm, measured tone. “I don’t see how that’s relevant, but alright, Mario. Why is it called the trophy field? What did it do? How is Link okay?”

Mario let out a long, relieved breath. “I keep telling you, if you’d just watch without pani—”

“Look!” Fluttershy cried, pointing at the holographic screen.

The three little ponies gathered at the edge of the bleachers as a floating, silvery platform appeared in a swirl of light particles above the grove right in front of the screen. The center of the platform was a disc of bright, white light and little luminescent orbs circled around above it. The orbs spun faster and faster until a flash of light suddenly materialized upon the platform into a familiar figure.

“Link!” The three ponies all cried as they recognized the man standing upon the platform.

Link stood stock still, frozen upon the platform and standing atop a golden disc. He stood in a neutral but ready stance, his shield held aloft and his sword at the ready down and beside him.

Twilight blinked. “He looks… frozen,” she said.

“Like a darn cockatrice got t’him!” Applejack said.

Twilight turned to Zelda again, raising an eyebrow. Zelda cleared her throat and began to explain.

“From what we can tell,” she said, “when the trophy field overloads, it lets out a huge burst of power as it breaks. That power is enough to launch a contender straight out of the arena. When that happens, it has some kind of backup effect where it turns the contender to metal to keep them safe.”

Twilight blinked. “This is too weird,” she muttered. “You’re saying when the field overloads and breaks, that same broken field somehow turns the person to metal? This is all so… nonsensical! None of it makes any sense!”

Mario shrugged. “You don’t have to tell us. Zelda’s been fretting about it since the first time she joined the tournament.”

Fluttershy spoke up. “So… um…” she said softly, “how do you bring somebody back from being metal?”

Zelda folded her hands. “If it happens off the field, you can bring somebody back just by sharing some of your own trophy field to reboot it.”

“Basically, touch them,” Mario explained.

The princess nodded. “On the field, though…” she trailed off with a gesture towards the frozen hero.

The three ponies looked. The orbs floating above the platform all glowed as electricity arced between them before striking Link’s trophy statue. With another burst of light, Link suddenly began to move. The hero of Hyrule took a deep gasping breath, then relaxed.

“Link!” Twilight cried. “You’re okay!”

Link turned to the three little ponies and gave a sheepish grin and a wave.

Applejack slumped back into her seat, removing her hat with one hoof and massaging her forehead with the other. “This is all too much fer me.”

Link turned around, looking down into the grove below. The hero stamped his foot on the platform, which slowly began to descend down into the battle arena below, taking up his sword and getting ready for a second round.

Twilight turned to Zelda again. “And you’re telling me that that’s the best explanation you have?” she asked. “A skintight forcefield that bursts when it takes too much damage, exploding with enough force to launch a contender miles away. And then that same field, even though it’s burst and should be inactive, somehow turns the person to metal to keep them safe while the field is down. But the field can be reactivated if somebody ‘gives’ some of their own field’s energy to them or they are teleported to one of those platforms, and that releases them from the metal and sets their field back to normal? That’s all you’ve got?” Twilight shook her head. “There’s so much weird and wrong with that I can’t even list it all!”

Mario shrugged. “That’s the best explanation we’ve come up with so far.”

The little unicorn frowned. “Every minute we’re here there’s something else that doesn’t make sense. It’s like the world sprung straight out of Pinkie Pie’s imagination or something.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Mario said. “Just relax a little.”

Twilight clomped her hooves together. “Ohhhh, no! I’m not giving up that easily. Not this time!” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m going to figure this place out if it’s the last thing I do!”



*     *     *



Samus grunted as Link lowered down on his floating platform towards the ground. The two locked gazes as Samus held aloft her arm cannon, its circuits sparking. “First stock to me!” she called out.

Link huffed and swung his sword in a figure-eight arc, then raised his shield and stomped the platform again. In a burst of light and a puff of smoke, like a bulb snuffing out, the platform vanished and Link fell the last ten feet to the earth, blade at the ready. The battle was on once again.

Samus rushed Link once again, putting him on the defensive. Samus lobbed missiles at the hero, dashing towards him all the while, forcing Link to hide behind his shield once again. Link ducked down and attempted to slash at her feet as she got close, only for Samus to leap over him.

Link grinned, seeing his chance, and he leapt up beneath her, pointing his sword skyward into the air. Samus saw the blow coming, but couldn’t do anything to dodge it in the middle of her leap. The huntress took the full force of the blow, causing her to go flying off the course of her jump and sent vertically into the sky. Link grinned as he fell back to the earth, ready to repeat the technique on the helpless huntress as she too started to descend back toward him. He leapt into the air once again, ready to strike, only to cry out when Samus turned into a ball and dropped three bombs towards him. The hero switched his sword for his shield, letting the bombs explode against it instead of his face.

Samus hit the ground in ball mode, rolling away to cover behind a tree stump as Link fell back to the ground beneath his shield. Switching out of her morph ball mode, Samus leaned out of cover to take a shot at Link with her power beam, only to duck back as an arrow sailed past her face.

Leaning against the cover, Samus called out to her foe, taunting him. “Those arrows don’t do squat, Link! Better upgrade to something more useful!”

Link growled, notching another arrow and firing it up into the air in an attempt to lob it over her cover. Samus chuckled, taking the moment of cover to charge up her power beam, the orb of light at the end of her cannon arm growing into a massive sphere of blue-white energy. 

Samus took a deep breath as her cannon stored the energy from her charge. She waited behind the cover until she heard the ‘twang’ of Link’s bow, signifying that he’d loosed an arrow, then rolled out of cover onto her knees, cannon levelled straight at her opponent. With a massive ‘KROOM,’ Samus launched the massive sphere of pulsating, crackling energy at her foe.

Link’s eyes widened as he saw the massive ball of plasma hurtling towards him. The hero leapt out of the way of the oncoming death-ball, the fiery energy crackling at his feet as he jumped for cover behind a bush. 

“You can run, but you can’t hide!” Samus shouted, and fired off several power missiles at the spot where Link hid himself. 

Link winced as small explosions cratered the ground around his bush. He could hear Samus’ footsteps getting closer and the small bursts of energy were getting more and more accurate. Suddenly, though, he noticed a large, gleaming blue object inside the frond. Link grinned.

Samus approached the bush, cannon levelled at the shrub. “Come on out Link! You can’t hide forever!”

Link obliged. 

The hero of Hyrule rolled out from behind the bush, just as Samus had done earlier, but something was different this time. A large cannon with flower-marked wheels was held under the crook of his arms, one hand on a string in the back and the other wrapped around its barrel. The hero yanked the cord and a loud ‘FWEEEEEE’ burst from the barrel.

Samus blinked as a gooey bomb suddenly flew from the cannon and hit her squarely in the chest. The bomb beeped for a split second before exploding right on top of her, sending her hurtling back.



*     *     *



“WHAT,” Twilight demanded.

“WHAT,” Applejack echoed.

“Is that…?” Fluttershy asked, trailing off.

Mario stroked his moustache. “Huh. Never seen that item before.”

Applejack pointed down at the field below. “That’s Pinkie’s party cannon!” she exclaimed. “How in the name of Great Granny Applesauce’s teats did Pinkie’s party cannon get here?!” she demanded as Link fired off three more shots, launching a fan, a flower, and a hamburger respectively.

“Well, it’s a--” Mario began, only to be cut off.

“And iffn’ y’all say it’s another one a’ them ‘constructs’ I’m gonna lose my mind.”

Mario raised an eyebrow. “Well, sorta. That’s not really your friend’s ‘Party Cannon,’ but it is a near-perfect duplicate.” He shrugged. “It might not fire the same sort of ammo as your friend’s cannon, though. It seems to work like another item we’ve seen here called a ‘party ball’.”

Twilight held her head in her hooves and groaned. “I dunno. Knowing Pinkie she just might store bombs and fans and burgers in her party cannon,” she said with an exasperated look on her face.

Zelda raised an eyebrow. “How would she hold all that in a single cannon?” she asked.

Twilight smirked a sly, humorless smile at the princess. “Believe it or not, Pinkie Pie makes less sense than this world at its weirdest.”

Zelda blinked. “That almost frightens me.”

Twilight barked a laugh.

Applejack massaged her head. “So… what all else will that hand guy drop into the ring?” she asked.

Mario shrugged again. “Sometimes he drops dozens of items per minute into the ring. Sometimes he only drops a few. Sometimes he doesn’t drop any at all. It all depends on his mood, we think,” he explained. “As for what all he’s got at his disposal, he has all sorts of things from all of our worlds he could use. Powerups, weapons, food dishes, explosives, you name it. I think somebody made a list of all the items he’s ever used once, but we’ll obviously have to add to it now.”

The three little ponies gathered at the edge of the bleachers once again, wondering what else the tournament could throw at them.



*     *     *



Link fired again and again, launching item after item at Samus. The bounty huntress was backed up against a tree, cornered against the oncoming assault, with nothing to do but try and knock the items out of the air with her arm cannon. She had just managed to knock away a flying green shell when she was suddenly cracked in the head by a home-run bat. Falling to her knees, Samus growled, grabbing for the bat that had just hit her in the faceplate.

Link stood about ten paces away, continuing to launch items with abandon, but now that she had the bat, Samus had a new plan. Gripping the bat like a home-run champion, Samus swung at each and every item Link fired at her. She knocked away a beam sword, a Lip’s Stick, and a smoke ball before grinning at Link from behind her visor. “Is that all you got?”

Link huffed and fired one more shot. Samus readied her bat and swung, only for her eyes to widen in horror at just what she’d swung at. Time seemed to freeze as she noticed the little legs, white, pupil-less eyes, and sparking fuse atop its head.

“Oh fu—”

The Bob-Omb exploded in Samus’ face.

The bat was flung from her fingers as Samus was launched into the sky on a blast of arcing red energy and lightning. As the creeping, chilling sensation flowed over her limbs, Samus’ face set into a scowl.

“Oh, it’s on now…” she growled as the metallic effect spread over her face.



*     *     *



Fluttershy shifted nervously in her seat. “Um… how much longer does this go?” she asked meekly.

Mario turned and smiled at the little yellow pegasus. “Don’t worry, Fluttershy,” he said, nodding to the screen where Samus’ trophy had reappeared and was just starting to unfreeze. “Unless the Master says otherwise, a match gives each contestant two chances. Both Link and Samus have lost one, so the next time one of them is knocked out it’ll be over.”

Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, hiding her face behind her mane.

“Hey,” Applejack said, slinging a hoof over Fluttershy’s withers. “C’mon now, Shy. Ain’t none of us really like it but it’ll be over soon ‘n then we can go back to the ‘cropolis place, alright?”

Fluttershy shook her head. Applejack blinked. “Not alright?” she asked, curious.

“It’s only just starting,” Fluttershy whimpered. “Eight months of this, Applejack! Eight months!” she said, her voice straining.

Mario leaned over. “You don’t have to watch all of them if you don’t want to, Fluttershy,” he said softly. “The Master only makes everybody watch the first match so they can get a sense of how the fighting will go. It’s completely up to you if you want to watch any other matches.” He tapped his chin, considering something. “Of course, if you don’t show up to watch the contestant selection part of it, you might be ripped away from whatever you’re doing if you’re chosen to fight.”

“But that’s the other thing!” Fluttershy wailed softly, turning to Applejack and Twilight. “We’re going to have to fight each other girls! If two of us get picked to fight, we’re going to have to…” Fluttershy gulped and buried her face in her hooves.

Applejack and Twilight looked between Zelda and Mario. “Wait, that can’t be right, can it?” Twilight asked, suddenly nervous. “The Master can’t possibly expect us to fight each other.”

Zelda looked at the three of them, her face a mask of neutrality. “I’m sorry, girls,” she said, “but you’re going to have to fight each other. Everybody here has to fight everybody else at least once. Usually more than that, and that doesn’t even count unofficial fights. It’s just one of the rules the Master has had in place since the first tournament. We don’t know why.”

Twilight glared. “No,” she said matter-of-factly. “We won’t do it.”

Zelda raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to have to,” she insisted.

“If two of us get chosen then we’ll just stand there and do nothing until he lets us go,” Twilight said, crossing her arms. “We’re not going to fight each other. Not like this anyway.”

“If you do that,” Mario explained with a frown, “the match will be ended in a ‘No Contest,’ and your standing in the tournament will be severely penalized.”

“So?” Applejack asked. “Better than bein’ forced to lay a beatdown on our friends, isn’t it?”

“Severely penalized, Applejack,” Mario emphasized. “If you No Contest more than, say, once, there’s almost no chance that you can even come close to winning the tournament,” he said solemnly. “And if you sabotage yourself like that, then the villains here are that much closer to winning.”

Twilight frowned, looking across the bleachers. She spied Chrysalis watching the action, an amused sneer on her face as Link and Samus beat on each other in the ring. Sitting a few seats down from her was the massive purple dragon she’d seen in the Great Hall when she’d first arrived at the Acropolis, his maw twisted into a razor-toothed grin that sent chills down her spine. And just below him sat the tall, green-skinned brute, eyeing Link predatorily. Twilight sighed and wordlessly turned back to the fight, considering the information.

Applejack shook her head. “T’ain’t right,” she said. “And t’ain’t okay to make friends fight like this.”

Mario sighed. “You just have to remember that it’s nothing personal, girls. When you get stuck in the ring together you just need to remind yourself that it’s nothing to get upset over. Think of it like friendly competition.”

Applejack grunted. “In my experience, friendly competition that involves sockin’ each other in the face has a way of devolvin’ into a real spat. I ain’t comfortable riskin’ my friendships turnin’ sour on something like this.”

Zelda’s face didn’t even twitch. “I’d hope your friendship is strong enough to handle a couple fights.”

Applejack scowled, wheeling on the princess. “I’d watch what y’all say, partner,” she snorted.

Twilight shook her head. “No, they’re right,” she said solemnly.

Applejack and Fluttershy both spun on her. “Say what, Twilight?!” Applejack said, stunned.

The unicorn took a deep breath. “Our friendship was strong enough to overcome Nightmare Moon and break through Discord’s trickery. We handled those and we can handle this now.” She looked at Applejack pointedly. “Fighting each other here, out of necessity, won’t break our friendships.”

“Y’all remember when Dash and I had that Iron Pony competition, don’tcha?” Applejack said, her brow furrowing. “We got so riled up over a little ‘friendly competition’ that we came ta blows in the middle of the Runnin’ of the Leaves. If the princess hadn’t sorted us out, who knows how long we’d a’ been at each others’ throats?”

“You would have sorted it out,” Twilight said, placing a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder, only for the earth pony to shrug it off. Twilight sighed, continuing. “The point is, we can make it through this. We have to,” she said, insistently. “Imagine what would happen if Chrysalis won the tournament. What would happen to Equestria? What would happen to your family? What would happen to our other friends?”

Applejack was silent. Twilight took it as prompt to continue. “We have to do the very best that we can in this tournament. Otherwise we’ll just open the door for somebody like Chrysalis or maybe someone even worse to take the prize and get a wish.”

The farm pony sighed heavily. “I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either, AJ,” Twilight said sadly. “But the alternative is worse.”

Applejack grumbled, turning away, only for Twilight to sling a hoof over her shoulder again. “We’ll get through it, though. Just like we’ve gotten through everything else.”

AJ sighed. “I guess.”

Mario cleared his throat. “It looks like the fight is finishing up,” he said, bringing everypony’s attention back to the fight in the grove below.



*     *     *



Samus pinned Link down with a flurry of missiles and power shots. The hero was forced to abandon the Party Cannon, which had run out of ammo after the bob-omb that launched his opponent into the atmosphere, and duck for cover away from the barrage of explosives and balls of fiery plasma. His attempts to duck away from the onslaught failed, though, when a super missile caught him in the back, causing him to stumble and trip.

Samus took the chance to roll into a ball and zip over to the fallen hero. Curling out of her morph ball form, the huntress leapt forward and dashed a blow against the back of Link’s head just as the hero began to get to his feet, knocking him back onto his stomach. 

Turning on a heel back towards the hero, Samus knelt down and set another explosion to detonate. Link barely had time to roll out of the way before the massive, fiery burst exploded out the end of her cannon. Rolling to his feet, Link pulled out his hookshot, aiming it squarely at Samus’ chest. Punching the trigger, the hookshot’s claw blasted out of its end and slammed into its target. With a flick of a switch, Link yanked Samus off balance and into close quarters.

Samus grunted as she was swept off her knees and into Link’s grasp. The huntress grappled with the hero, who took the chance to hit her in the head with his sword’s pommel again and again. The blows rattled her head through her helmet, causing her ears to ring and her vision to blur. Through the ringing, Samus gripped at the clawshot still digging into her chest armor and ripped it out, pushing it back into Link’s solar plexus. He doubled back, winded slightly as Samus leapt backwards, shaking her head and righting herself after Link’s onslaught.

Link didn’t waste any time in trying to regain the upper hand, though. The hero somersaulted backwards and picked up the beam sword that Samus had knocked away earlier with her bat. Igniting the beam sword, Link chucked it at Samus while she was still dazed. The huntress foiled him, though, when she caught the sword out of the air.

Samus gripped the sword as she had the bat, dashing towards her foe, wielding it in front of her. Link drew his own blade at the last moment and raised his shield in defense, barely in time to catch Samus’ beam blade with his own magic one. The swords crossed in a shower of sparks that lit up the arena in a bright flash. 

The huntress swung her blade low, forcing Link to leap into the air over it. The hero responded with a swipe at Samus’ face, which the huntress barely dodged. The two fought with the grace of seasoned fencers, sword crossing sword in a deadly dance of clanging metal and humming energy. 

Eventually, though, Link started to get the upper hand. Where Samus blocked most of his swings with her own parries, the huntress was at a disadvantage with a sword, while Link settled into the fight like an old pair of boots. Samus had taken fencing courses during her time at the Galactic Federation and during her training with the Chozo, of course, but Link fought like he’d been born with a sword in his hand. He managed to get many more thrusts and swipes in on her through clever fake outs and superior speed with a blade. The hero was comfortable in a swordfight.

Which was exactly why Samus was smiling behind her visor.

As Link settled into the familiar patterns of the swordfight, focused on her left hand currently wielding her blade, he was distracted from her arm cannon, which she’d started to charge with power. All Samus needed was an opening. She finally found one when Link swung his blade down vertically in a wide chop. Samus grinned, raising her glowing arm cannon like a shield to block the blow, halting Link’s blade in its path. The rest of his body kept moving with the momentum of the swing, though, ending with his face right next to the cannon’s barrel.

Link didn’t even know what hit him.

The massive ball of plasma blasted right into the side of his face, disengaging the two of them and sending Link hurtling across the grove and into a boulder, his back slamming against the rocky face fast enough to crack it slightly. 

Link grunted as he fell to the ground beneath the boulder. He could feel the trophy field surrounding him crackling with energy, ready to burst from all the power that had just been thrown at him. He wouldn’t be able to take another hit.

Shakily, Link heaved himself to his feet, stumbling from the pain and dizziness. His vision spun as he dazedly scanned the field for his foe, only to see her making a mad dash straight for him. Samus knelt into a slide as she flew towards him, aiming her cannon to the ground again for another explosive burst. Link barely managed to dodge the blast by leaping to his right, the flames from the blast tickling his bangs and scorching his tunic. Link landed on his feet only to stumble and fall into the wrecked base of an ancient column. 

Link’s head cracked against the column, sending his vision into a blur again as he collapsed to the ground. The hero grunted to himself as he realized that that plasma blast had just taken too much out of him. Samus was too fast and skilled to count on landing a lucky blow, and he was too fatigued to take her head on anymore. Guerilla tactics seemed best at the moment, but unless he could shake off his daze he wouldn’t be at all effective and his opponent would eventually catch up with him. Short of a miracle, he’d lost this fight.

As though answering him, Link’s ear suddenly twitched as a tiny ‘Tink tink tink’ noise came from next to his head. Link opened his eyes, blearily blinking away the spins as he turned his head to spy the source of the noise.

A bottle lay next to him. An ordinary glass bottle stopped with a large cork.

The bottle wasn’t what was interesting though. It was the tiny, winged, purple-glowing girl inside the bottle that made Link grin in triumph.

The little fairy banged her tiny fist against the glass from inside the bottle. The halo of purple light surrounding the tiny girl obscured most of her features, but even through the light it was obvious her face was set in a deep scowl.

“Hey!” the fairy squeaked sharply, her voice muffled by the bottle. “Let me outta here you big galoot!”

Link reached out and grabbed the bottle, rolling over just in time to avoid a super missile crashing against the column where he’d been laying. The blast sent chunks of dirt and stone scattering over him as he shakily got to his feet. Dashing away from Samus’ onslaught and behind a tree, the hero attempted to get his bearings.

“What are you waiting for?!” the fairy squeaked inside the bottle. “Quit lollygagging and let me out!” 

Link frowned at the mouthy fairy but nevertheless grabbed ahold of the cork stopping the bottle and yanked with all his might. The cork came loose with a loud ‘POP’ and the freed fairy instantly zoomed out of the bottle’s mouth and into the air before him.

“About time!” The fairy harrumphed, dusting herself off. “I’ve been stuck there since the beginning of your stupid little brawl.”

Link blinked, confused. It wasn’t unheard of for constructs in the Smashworld to talk, but if a construct appeared in battle, it always had a specific function that it carried out without hesitation. An assist trophy might say a few words but it would always immediately carry out a task, just as a programmed construct should. There hadn’t been bottled fairies in fights before, though Link could plainly guess what their purpose was meant to be from his own adventures: they were meant to heal the fighters’ trophy fields after taking a lot of damage. This fairy should have immediately started carrying that task out once freed, but instead, she was floating in midair, ranting at him.

“I mean seriously, what’s the big idea?!” The fairy raved at Link who just stared on, dumbfounded. “One second I’m resting at a fountain, minding my own business and the next, ‘POOF!’” she shouted, gesticulating wildly with her arms. “Trapped in a bottle miles away, watching a doofy Hylian dressed like a prat take on an orange golem or something. And failing miserably at it by the way.”

An explosion rocked the tree Link stood against as another missile detonated against it. The shockwave sent the fairy spinning through the air before she righted herself and fluttered up to Link’s face. “Yikes,” she said, slightly stunned from the blow. “Then again, maybe that thing’s tougher than it looks.” The fairy peeked around the tree, only to see Samus charging up her power beam again, the plasma ball at the end of her cannon growing as big as she was. She grimaced, turning back to Link and looking him up and down. “Yeah, you’re boned,” she said flatly.

Link scowled, turning his hands up and raising an eyebrow in a clear ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ gesture.

The fairy rolled her eyes. “What? You want my help?” she asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

The hero growled, picking up the bottle and holding it up to her. She grumbled. “Ugh… whatever. I guess I owe you then.” The fairy clapped her hands and sparkly, purple dust began to fall from her wingtips. “Don’t waste this,” she snapped as she started to circle Link. “You don’t know how much doing this takes out of us.”

Link took a deep breath, breathing in the dust from the fairy’s wings. A smile washed over his face as he felt his fatigue leave him and his aches and pains disappeared. The trophy field that crackled around him settled and normalized, the damage to it dissipating in the fairy dust.

And it was just in time as Samus skidded from around the tree, cannon trained right on Link.

The huntress unleashed her cannon’s fire upon him, Link barely having the time to pull out his shield to deflect the blast, and even then, the force of it knocked him off balance. Samus took Link’s momentary stun to her advantage and rolled into a ball, zipping between Link’s legs and reemerging behind him. Samus twirled around on one leg, lifting the other in a wild hook kick and catching Link in his jaw. He spun around from the impact, only to be blasted in the stomach by another missile. 

Link stumbled back but stood his ground, pulling out a bomb and chucking it at the huntress as she took a leap at him. The bomb impacted with her chestplate but only served to send her slightly off course on her divebomb. It was enough, though, as Link sidestepped her blow and countered with a lunge straight to her side. Samus backed off and trained her cannon on him again.

“I had you on the ropes!” Samus growled. “What did you find a heart container or something?” she snarled, tossing a grapple beam at him. Link dodged the snare, pulling out his hookshot and firing it at the huntress. The two grapples met in midair and pulled taut in a deadly game of tug-of-war. Link drew his shield out again and smiled, nodding to the base of the tree he’d taken cover behind. Samus looked for a split second to see the little purple fairy, slouched dazedly against the base of the tree, rubbing her temples. 

“Wait…” Samus said, “Why hasn’t she despaw—” She was suddenly cut off as Link let go of his hookshot, breaking the tug of war and causing Samus to fall backwards. With a piercing battle cry, Link rushed forward and smashed his shield into Samus’ visor.

The strange fairy forgotten, Samus snarled and staggered back, readying another missile. Link was faster though, pulling out his boomerang and hurling it straight at her weapon. Samus’ arm cannon was knocked askew and her shot went wide, blasting into an ancient tree, splintering its base and toppling it over.

Samus grunted as she was knocked in the visor again, this time by Link’s boomerang, stumbling back into the brook that ran through the grove. She felt herself suddenly stumble as she stepped on something round and slick. Regaining her footing, the huntress glanced down to see a red and white orb in the shallows of the brook. Grinning to herself beneath the visor, she quickly ducked underneath another boomerang toss and grabbed hold of the red and white ball. Rolling to the side to avoid the boomerang’s return, Samus rolled up on one knee and chucked the ball straight at Link’s center mass.

Samus’ aim was true and the ball hit Link in the chest just as he retrieved his boomerang from the air, knocking the wind out of him. The ball landed on the ground and burst open in a blast of bright white light. 

“Vile…” came a gravelly yet high pitched voice.

Link shook off the blow and looked at the creature that had suddenly appeared before him. A round, dark blue body with a chubby face and simple, rounded limbs stood before him, about four feet tall. Piercing, beady red eyes looked up at him with a deceptive smile. Its most prominent feature, though, was the massive red and white-speckled flower that capped its head, its center seemingly smoking with yellow-gray spores.

“VILEPLUME!” The plant creature shouted suddenly, leaning forward and spraying purple powder from the stamens in the flower’s center.

Link coughed and hacked as he was coated in the purple spores. As he hacked and wheezed, he couldn’t help but breathe in the spores, causing him to sneeze and choke as it felt like his throat was swelling up. Link fell to a knee as he suddenly felt pain wrack his entire body. He could feel the trophy field shuddering around him as its pangs shot through him. 

Link had been poisoned.

The Vileplume disappeared in another flash of light, but Link still knelt on the ground shuddering. His joints ached and he felt weak, pangs of pain continuing to wrack his body. Samus took the chance to dash up to him and clock him in the head with a haymaker from her arm cannon, sending the hero reeling.

Link was sent spinning across the forest floor before landing in a heap at the base of a tree. Groaning and gasping for breath, Link turned his head and his eyes widened. Samus was dashing towards him again, her cannon charging up for another massive plasma blast.

That was not what made his eyes widen, though. It was what had appeared behind her.

In the air, floating around with seemingly no predictable flight pattern, was a silvery orb; its only distinguishing marking a pair of crossed lines.

Link couldn’t help but grin a little. From his prone position on the ground, he pulled out his bow and arrow, ignoring the aches in his joints and the pangs of pain intermittently running through his body. Notching an arrow and pulling the bowstring taut, he loosed the shaft and sent it sailing through the air. Samus was forced to dodge out of the way, just as Link had hoped she would.

The arrow zipped through the air with a buzzing noise before striking true, embedding itself in the side of the floating orb with a metallic crunching noise.

Samus ground to a halt at the noise. Wheeling around on one foot, she spied the floating orb, dancing in the air before the two of them. Wasting no time, she dashed back the way she came, raising her arm cannon and firing off the charged shot she’d built up. The massive, swirling burst of plasma struck the orb, causing it to shudder and glow as another metallic “CLANG” rang out through the grove. Samus grinned to herself and reached back to hurl another haymaker at the orb, only to fall forward with a cry of alarm as she felt something wrap around her leg and pull it out from under her.

Twisting around, Samus saw that her leg had been snared by Link’s hookshot, the hero in question notching another arrow as she tried to free herself. “Dammit!” she cursed as the arrow was loosed from the bow and sailed over her head.

The resounding sound of shattering metal rang through the grove.

Link no longer looked sickly and weak from poison. His body seemed to glow with a rainbow fire that sucked the color from the world around him. His eyes shone with white light as he stood tall and strong, drawing the blade of evil’s bane from the scabbard at his back. Link held his sword behind him at the ready as he lowered himself to the ground, like a sprinter getting ready for a hundred-meter dash.

Samus fired several missiles off at him, but Link deflected them with his shield. Freeing herself from the hookshot, Samus got to her feet in an attempt to get out of the way.

Link dashed forward.



*     *     *



“Whoa Nelly!”

“Oh dear! Oh gosh!”

“...incredible…”

The crowd went wild.



*     *     *



Samus felt herself become frozen in place as three massive, golden triangles formed around her, paralyzing her and holding her still as the Hero of Twilight dashed up to her faster than she could blink. A blow impacted her belly, then another across her chest. Another came a split second later across her face. Then her legs. Then her pelvis. Blow after brutal, merciless blow from Link’s magical blade crissed and crossed across her over and over again. He arced his sword across her body faster than any living being should be capable of moving, each impact crashing against her protective field and making it shudder and spark. Samus felt the wind get knocked out of her, even through her heavy armor, the onslaught not giving her a chance to catch her breath and the paralyzing triangles not granting her any motion whatsoever. And then, after thoroughly brutalizing his opponent, Link drew back for one final swing.

A high pitched crashing sound.

The triangles shattered.

Samus launched straight up like a rocket into the stratosphere.

And like that, the huntress was vanquished. Link fell to one knee as a star twinkled somehow in the daylight above him.

“GAME!” came the Master Hand’s booming voice, resounding through the grove and up into the stands.

“THIS GAME’S WINNER IS… LINK!”

> Ch7: Restless Respite
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor

Chapter 7 - Restless Respite



The crowd went crazy with thunderous applause as Link staggered to his feet in the grove below, holding up his sword in triumph. The three little ponies sat stupefied by the incredible display of might as the other contestants all roared and cheered wildly around them. The three of them looked between each other before Twilight too found herself stomping the ground in applause, followed by a hesitant Applejack and Fluttershy.

In the ring below, Link staggered as the glowing energy that had empowered him to vanquish Samus faded and his injuries and poisoning reasserted themselves. Still, the hero managed to flash a winning grin at the audience and artfully swing his sword around for them before striking a victory pose with a mighty “Hyaaah!”

Twilight winced as she noticed Link grimacing through his pose and swaying back and forth on his feet. She was just about to turn to Zelda to ask if he would be alright when she felt the world go sideways again and her body seemed to be ripped apart, atom by atom, only to be instantly rearranged again elsewhere. The purple unicorn stumbled on her hooves and shook herself as the teleportation sickness quickly wore off. Her vision coming back into focus, she looked around to see that she’d been teleported back into the Acropolis’ great hall, her friends all gathered around her and shaking off their own dizziness. Also nearby were Mario and Zelda, the two of them and most of the other contestants scattered about the room seeming to be unaffected by the sudden transport.

The room behind Twilight suddenly burst into more cheering. The unicorn turned to see what the fuss was about, watching as several of the contestants backed up in a circle around Link and Samus, the latter of whom had been restored to flesh and blood beneath her armor. Link, however, still looked nauseous and dizzy from the fight.

“Is he going to be alright?” Fluttershy asked as Zelda approached the trio.

“Poisoning is new to the Smash tournament,” the princess said with a slight frown. “Nothing should come from it. The Master wouldn’t permanently harm one of his contestants. He’ll likely feel ill for a while but... I don’t believe there’s any reason to worry,” Zelda muttered, her voice wavering a little, causing Twilight to glance in her direction with a raised eyebrow. The princess noticed the unicorn’s attentions and cleared her throat. “Nevertheless, perhaps he should go to see the doctor. Better to be sure, after all.”

Mario shrugged. “We’ll leave that up to him.”

On the other side of the room, congratulations were being granted on Link’s victory, while Samus received condolences and ‘better-luck-next-times.’ Link stood on his unsteady feet, waving at the other contenders while Samus just clapped disinterestedly in Link’s direction. 

Link turned around and flashed a pained but friendly smile at Samus, holding a gloved hand out to her. “Hep!” he managed to grunt.

Samus froze for a second, her fist clenching briefly, only for it to release again moments later as her whole posture seemed to relax a little. Finally, Samus reached out with her armored hand and took Link’s in hers, shaking it firmly.

“Yeah, yeah. Good fight, Lunkhead.”

Link grinned good-naturedly before turning again at the sound of clopping hooves coming up behind him.

“Link!” Fluttershy said, trotting right up to the green-clad hero. “Are you alright? You don’t look well.”

Link smiled sheepishly and patted Fluttershy on the head with a weak nod. The action caused him to stumble a little, though, forcing the pegasus to support him to keep him from falling over.

“Oh dear…” Fluttershy said, doing her best to support Link’s weight while he regained his balance. “Come on, we need to get you to that doctor Mario was talking about.

“Assuming he’s not playing things up again,” Zelda huffed irritably, grabbing Link’s wrist. “He’s been known to do that.”

Fluttershy blinked. “But you were the one who just said–”

“Oh I’m taking him to the doctor,” Zelda grumbled, beginning to drag Link off. “I’m just saying he has a tendency to play up the truth of the matter.”

Link scowled and wrenched his hand away from the princess. The two Hylians glared venomously at each other, though the effect was lessened somewhat by Link’s swaying.

Fluttershy trotted up alongside Link, placing a hoof on his leg. “Please Link? It’s better to be sure you’re okay, right?”

Link didn’t bother to look down at Fluttershy, but visibly slumped, caving into her request. Gathering himself up, he walked unsteadily toward the back of the hall, pointedly walking past Zelda without sparing her a glance. The princess scowled and turned away, storming silently off elsewhere into the Great Hall.

Meanwhile, Twilight and Applejack trotted up to Samus as the huntress removed her helmet, shaking her long blonde hair out.

“Are you alright, Samus?” Twilight asked. 

“That was quite a licking you took,” Applejack commented.

Samus’ lip curled for a moment, only for the huntress to take a deep breath and relax. “Yeah, fine,” she grumbled. “The only thing that took a licking is my pride,” she said, staring across the room at a hunched, purple dragon giving her an evil, toothy grin. Growling, she tore her eyes away from the monster and turned back to the ponies. “Link gonna be okay?”

Twilight nodded. “Mario and Zelda say he should be fine.”

Samus grunted in response. “Good,” she muttered, before looking down pointedly at the two of them. “Word of advice: when it’s your turn, don’t fight angry. Good as it might feel to blow off steam, it doesn’t do any favors for you in the ring.”

“Izzat what got you in trouble down there?” Applejack asked, cocking her head. “Y’all seemed pretty riled up before the fight started. What went and crawled up your armor, gal?”

Samus looked hesitant for a minute, eventually opening her mouth to answer only to be cut off by a high pitched shrieking.

“For the love of everything, will somebody please tell me what in Farore’s name is going on here?!”

The chatter and noise in the Great Hall suddenly died as the gathered contestants all looked up to see a glowing purple fairy darting around the upper levels of the room, glaring down at them with a panicked fury.

Samus grimaced and let out an exasperated huff. 

“Shit.”


*     *     *


The festivities quickly broke up after the fairy’s interruption. A number of the contestants, including Zelda, Luigi, Peach, quickly ushered the angry little sprite away from the main room, while others like Fox and Captain Falcon took the moment to suggest things to do around the Acropolis to all the newer contestants. In minutes, most of the confused contestants had lost interest and all gone about their business or gone to check out the various games and other activities that had been recommended like the Home-Run contest, the target range, or other activities that had appeared in the Smashworld outside the Acropolis, like the Mushroom Kingdom Kart Tracks.

Samus, on the other hand, had declared herself “Too tired to deal with any of that BS,” and had followed Link’s path out of the hall towards the doctor’s office. Along the way, the huntress shed her armor, leaving her in her dark blue, midriff-exposing tank top and shorts, and combat boots. The strange ridge of pointed teeth on her arm twitched and flexed, thankful to be free of the confines of the power armor. Meanwhile, the three little ponies chose to follow her to the doctor’s office. Zelda had seemed insistent that none of them follow her to deal with the fairy, and none of them were quite confident enough to wander off on their own without a guide they were comfortable with yet.

Eventually, the three ponies found themselves at the doctor’s office, staring at what was perhaps the oddest sight they’d seen since they got there… which was saying something.

Link sat on a table, his boots, gloves, belt, and gear all removed and sitting on the floor. His green heavy tunic with chainmail lining was draped over a chair in the corner, leaving him only in a pale, off-white undershirt and a set of tights that wrapped around the arch of his feet. Sitting in another chair off to the side was Mario, dressed normally and flipping through a magazine titled “Plumber’s Weekly” with articles ranging from “how your plunger is actually damaging your pipes” to “top ten monkey wrenches of 2014.”

It was the other figure present that gave the ponies pause.

It was Mario. Or rather, it was somebody that looked exactly like Mario, from his brown, shaggy hair, to his large blue eyes, to his oversized nose, to his bushy black moustache. He was the same height and had the same stature as the Mario they knew, though he seemed to have a little less muscle definition and a little less of a pudge. Unlike the Mario they knew, this one was dressed in a long, white lab coat with a pale blue, button down shirt and red tie underneath, along with gray slacks and sensible leather shoes. Atop his head rested not a cap with an ‘M’ on it, but instead a doctor’s head mirror. His white work gloves were replaced with blue latex ones and a stethoscope was draped around his neck.

Mario… or rather, the ‘normal’ Mario in the corner noticed the four of them approaching and looked up brightly from his magazine. “Ah, girls!” he beamed, “I’d like you to meet my friend Mario!”

The Mario dressed like a doctor set down a tongue depressor he had been using to look down Link’s throat and turned to look at the ponies. “Hello! It’s-a me! Mario!”

The ponies were all struck completely silent. Samus chuckled and walked into the room, leaning against a wall.

Finally, Twilight worked up the nerve to speak.

“...what.”

Applejack pulled her hat down over her face and grumbled, “Twilight, I’m ‘bout to ‘Nope’ on outta here again!”

Fluttershy seemed less stunned, her ears perking up. “Oh, I get it! He’s your twin brother?”

The normally dressed Mario chuckled, setting his magazine aside and standing. “Nope! He’s-a Mario, just like me!”

“I am he as you are he and you are me and we are all together,” The ‘Doctor Mario’ said jokingly.

“Gu Gu Gachu,” Samus quipped.

“Wait wait wait,” Twilight said, holding a hoof up and shaking her head. “How can there be two Marios? This doesn’t make any sense!”

“Actually, it makes perfect sense if you think about it,” Doctor Mario said as he handed a tank-like device with a mask attached to it to Link. “Here, breathe into this, Link. It’ll help.”

Mario continued where his doctoral counterpart left off. “You already know that all the various contestants come from different universes of course,” he said, addressing the ponies.

“Yes, you explained as much… wait…” Twilight muttered, the pieces clicking together. She gasped. “You mean… he’s an alternate Mario? A Mario from another universe?”

“What are y’all talking about now?” Applejack asked.

Twilight grinned at her friend, grabbing her around the shoulders. “It’s Infinite Universe theory!” she squealed.

Fluttershy and Applejack just blinked.

Twilight sighed. “Okay, so… alternate universes. The theory is that, at the beginning of time, many universes were formed as opposed to just one.” Twilight raised a hoof in the air and waved it around. “Just being here among all these different beings basically proves that that’s true already.”

Applejack’s face screwed up. “Alright, I think I’m following.”

Twilight nodded and continued. “To put it simply, there are other subsections of multiverse theory, though, that say that new universes are constantly being made. Universes where big events or choices happen differently, or even universes where everything seems the same with a few tiny insignificant differences between them. Universes that, in many ways, are identical to other ones, but branched off when something different happened.” Twilight pointed to Doctor Mario. “This Mario is from one of those universes. A universe where Mario didn’t become a plumber, but became a doctor instead!”

“Very good, Twilight!” Mario said with a grin. “In my world, I was putting myself through college by being a plumber, when I found a secret warp zone while working on a drain and found myself lending a hand in a Mushroom land...”

Doctor Mario grinned as he checked Link’s blood pressure. “...While in my world, I turned that one job down and went on to get my degree by watching House and Scrubs and E.R.”

Applejack pressed her hooves into her temple. “Hang on, back up,” she said, addressing Twilight. “Y’all are saying that not only are there a bunch of universes out there what got crazy critters like humans and giant monkeys and pink marshmallows and turtle monsters what not… but ALSO a bunch of other versions of those same universes that’re slightly different?” Applejack screwed up her face.

Fluttershy cocked her head. “Would that mean there are other versions of Equestria out there somewhere? Other Twilights and Applejacks and Fluttershys?”

“It’s certainly not impossible,” Twilight said, before pointing to the two Marios. “Heck, if this is any indication, it’s not just possible, it’s probable!” Twilight rubbed her hooves together. “Just picture it! Other Equestrias, some almost identical to ours, some vastly different! Heck, there may be an Equestria out there where we’re all humans like Mario and Samus here!”

Fluttershy giggled. Applejack snorted dismissively. “Alright, now y’all are just going plum crazy.”

Twilight’s face scrunched up in irritation.

“Anyway…” Doctor Mario said loudly, cutting off any further argument from the ponies as he waved a light in Link’s eye as he continued to breathe into the mask, “I’m going to go ahead and give you a clean bill of health, Link. Keep breathing that enriched oxygen for a while in case the spores are still making it hard for you to breathe and put some ice on your head to stave off the fever. With any luck, you’ll be fine in a few hours, but if it persists, come back to me and I’ll see if there’s anything else I can do.”

Link nodded and got up off the table, strapping the mask around his face and unsteadily walking over to his gear.

“Now then,” Doctor Mario said, looking to Samus and the ponies. “As nice as it is to meet all of you, I’m sure you didn’t just come down here for a social call?”

Samus got up from the wall and shook her head. “I wanted to talk to the two of you about something that just came up. Mario left with Link before he could see what happened in the Great Hall.”

“What happened in the Great Hall?” Mario asked.

Samus nodded towards Link. “Remember the fairy that healed Lunkhead over there during the fight?” Mario nodded, though Doctor Mario simply shrugged.

“Non-Combatant. Wasn’t there,” he said noncommittally.

Samus rolled her eyes. “Right, well… that happened. A fairy showed up and healed his trophy field.” She narrowed her eyes and brought her voice down to a whisper. “Thing is, it’s still here.”

Link stumbled as he gathered up his gear, looking at the huntress with an intense look on his face.

The two Marios’ faces became very neutral. “You’re not joking, are you Samus?” he whispered back.

Samus sneered. “Do I sound like I’m joking?”

Mario frowned for a minute before turning to the ponies. “Girls, I’m afraid I need to talk about something with Samus and my counterpart for a bit.”

The three ponies were all taken aback. “Um… okay?” Twilight said hesitantly. “Is something wrong? Anything we can help with?”

“Probably not,” Mario replied with a small smile. “Still, I don’t want to worry you with anything, so it’d probably be for the best that I keep this conversation private. You understand?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow and looked about to retort, but Twilight cut her off. “Of course,” Twilight replied, getting a dirty glare from Applejack, though the farmpony kept her mouth shut.

Mario nodded, smiling a little wider. “How about we have Link show you girls to one of the rec rooms, or maybe the spa or something? I’m sure he can find you something to do.”

Link nodded, already looking a little stronger after breathing the enriched oxygen for a few minutes, and gave the ponies a thumbs up.

Twilight smiled. “Sure, that sounds just fine.”

Mario waved a gloved hand at the four of them. “Off-a you go then!” he chirped. “I’ll see you girls later!”

The three ponies all waved as Link led them out the door and into one of the Acropolis’ many hallways. 

The two Marios turned to Samus, the one with the plumber’s cap raising a bushy eyebrow. “So what do you make of this, Samus?” he asked the huntress.

Samus shrugged, leaning back against the wall again. “Hell if I know. We’ve barely started this tournament and things keep getting weirder and weirder. It’s like the rules we’ve come to know don’t apply anymore.”

Mario stroked his moustache. “Or we never knew the rules right to begin with. Everything we know about this place we’ve pieced together over our time here.” His gaze dropped to the floor as his face creased pensively. “That said… unwitting contestants and now battle constructs that don’t despawn… if these things were always in the cards, why are we only seeing them this time around?”

“That’s assuming that the fairy is even a construct,” Samus said, scratching at the fangs running down her arm. “She had a surprising amount of personality for a usual construct. Even the most personable assist trophies are all basically just fleshy robots with programmed responses.”

“You think it was actually a Hylian Fairy then?” Mario asked, alarmed. “Another person kidnapped against their will?”

“Seems that way.” Samus nodded. “I wasn’t about to spend the time to find out for sure, though. I’m freaking exhausted. Zelda’s on top of that.”

Mario sighed disappointedly. “We’ll have to see what she finds later than.”

“Perhaps this fairy is in a similar situation to myself?” Doctor Mario asked, softly, his face set in a distant frown. “A refugee from her world granted asylum here in the Smashworld?”

Samus grimaced. “It’s possible I guess?” she said before shaking her head. “Except she seemed shocked to be here. If she was a refugee like you or any of the other Lost Boys, wouldn’t she know why she was here? And why would she spawn in the middle of a fight exactly like an item would?”

Doctor Mario slumped a little. “I suppose.”

Mario groaned as he pulled up a chair and slumped back into it. “Mamma Mia… this gets more and more disturbing every moment. If you’re right, then that means the Master is now kidnapping citizens from various worlds and just dropping them here at random. But why would he do that?”

Samus grimaced. “I hate to say it, but maybe we need to think of the possibility that the Hand is being possessed again. This is not normal behavior for him.”

Mario hemmed and hawed. “Maybe… still, if he’s being possessed again, whoever or whatever is doing it isn’t very good at hiding it. When Tabuu possessed him at the last tournament, we didn’t know anything was amiss until long after his plans had gone into effect.”

“Perhaps we should consider the idea…” Doctor Mario began, “... that the Master isn’t possessed but instead has... changed.”

The others looked at him quizzically, prompting the doctor to continue.

“I mean, first he lost his brother. As much as they didn’t get along, that has to mean something to him. And not long after that, the Master was possessed, forced to nearly destroy his own creations, nearly tore this world and every other world apart under the machinations of Tabuu, and when he finally broke free, he had been drained of so much of his power that he was savagely beaten into submission.” Doctor Mario looked at the others sadly. “What I’m saying is, perhaps this is the work of the Master, but this might not be the same Master we knew.”

“You think what happened to him last time drove him insane or something?” Samus asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

Doctor Mario shook his head. “Not necessarily insane. Though perhaps he’s suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress disorder and is having difficulty coping with it, causing him to act out in unexpected ways.”

Samus pursed her lips. “He’s a quasi-deific otherdimensional being from a higher plane whose mind we can never hope to understand or some crap. Can he even get PTSD?”

The doctor shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t begin to know. That’s just a theory.”

“Either way,” Mario said, leaning forward. “We need to find some way of keeping an eye on the Master. If he’s possessed or insane or even if he’s just hurting and it’s causing him to act out, we need to find a way of watching him, figuring out what’s going on, and act accordingly.”

“How do you plan to do that?” Samus asked, snorting a little. “He hangs out in his freaky, unreachable void all the time. The only time any of us ever see him is when we sign up for a Classic Challenge and manage to get to the end. And if we do that, he’ll be too busy kicking our asses to try and give him a cuddle and get him to talk about his feelings.”

Mario sighed. “I don’t know, Samus. All I know is it has to be done.” He removed his cap and scratched at his shaggy brown hair. “I’ll talk to the others and see if they have any ideas on how we might go about monitoring the Master, or at the very least see if anybody has any ideas on how to contact him.” He pointed at Samus, replacing his hat upon his head. “You go to the library and see if you can come up with anything that way.”

“Oh goody goody!” Samus said, her face twisting into an excited, over exaggerated grin as she clasped her hands together. “I get to pore through a nigh-infinite number of ancient, impossible to read texts from a countless number of universes! It must be my birthday and Christmas!” She twisted her face into a scowl, glaring at Mario.

The plumber chuckled. “I know research isn’t exactly your forte.”

“My forte is making things bleed. And sometimes explode.”

Mario held up his hands in an attempt to placate the irate hunter. “I know. All I’m asking is that you get started. As soon as I talk with the others, we’ll join you, alright?”

Samus’ scowl deepened for a minute until she eventually relented and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” she said, turning on a heel and opening the door. “Maybe reading textbooks will numb my mind enough that I can actually calm down. Don’t take too long though or I might set the place on fire.”

Mario nodded after her as she stamped out the door. “I’ll be along shortly.”

“In the meantime,” Doctor Mario said, clearing his throat. “I’m going to go meet with the other Lost Boys. I need to tell them that this world… might not be safe for much longer. We’re going to need to speed up picking a new world to call home in case the proverbial feces hits the fan.”

Mario clapped a hand on his doppelganger’s shoulder. “Good idea. Best of luck, Mario.”

Doctor Mario chuckled. “You too, Mario,” he said, giving the red-capped plumber a two-fingered salute and stepping out the door after Samus.

Mario heaved a massive sigh, removing his hat and pressing his fingers into his temples as he too stepped out of the doctor’s office and turned down the hall in the opposite direction from his double and Samus. “Mamma Mia, it’s-a gonna be one of those tournaments again.”


*     *     *


The three ponies followed Link through the Acropolis’ ornate hallways, the one they were currently treading down appearing to be made of massive sandstone bricks, the walls covered in ancient hieroglyphs from some culture none of them recognized. The ancient, tomblike structure of the place, though, was offset by what a great state of repair it was in and the plush red carpets along the ground, as well as the decorative plants set evenly down the halls. The corridor was lit by what appeared to be crystals set into the ceiling, and it took the other ponies a fair amount of urging to keep Twilight from trying to investigate the properties of the stones or translating the glyphs upon the walls.

The tension between the ponies was inordinately high. Applejack was, once again, shooting dirty glances at Twilight, who could not help but feel herself shrink beneath her friend’s gaze. Finally, after several minutes of this, Fluttershy sidled up between the two of them and gave Applejack a pointed look.

“Applejack, what’s bothering you?” she asked directly.

AJ’s eyes narrowed and she looked away. “Ain’t nothin’.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “You’ve been giving Twilight the evil eye since we talked with Doctor Mario. Something is bothering you.”

Applejack turned back and looked past Fluttershy at the confused and sheepish-looking Twilight. “It jus’ bothers me that Twilight here let Mario and the bunch get away with keepin’ secrets from us!” She snorted. “Seriously, Twi, what was up with that?”

Twilight looked at Applejack, a pensive look on her face. “Well, I wouldn’t say they’re keeping secrets from us, AJ,” she said.

“The hay are you talking about?” Applejack snapped. “They’re holding secret meetings they don’t want nopony to listen in on. Sounds like they’re keepin’ secrets to me!”

“Except you can’t keep a secret if you don’t know what the secret is,” Twilight said with a frown. 

“Pardon?” AJ’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“What I’m saying,” Twilight continued, “is that Mario, Samus, and the rest are nearly as in the dark as to what’s going on around here as we are. They’re seeing all sorts of strange things happen that they don’t know what to make of and they’re having just as much trouble putting it together as we are. More, possibly, since what’s going on now goes against all the patterns that they’ve come to learn about this tournament.” Twilight looked at Applejack pointedly. “But you’ll notice that they haven’t really been keeping much information from us. They talked about the fairy openly in front of us, they shared the various unusual happenstances with us, as well as the history of this place when we were in Samus’ gunship scouting out the land.” Twilight cocked her head as she fought to come up with an analogy. “Basically what I’m saying is that they’ve shown us all the puzzle pieces, they’re just trying to actually put it together on their own.” 

Applejack’s face had gone from angry to merely confused and a little irritated over the course of Twilight’s explanation. The farmer shook her head. “Then they’re bein’ plum stupid,” she said. “We could help them with that if they weren’t so darn cagey.”

Fluttershy spoke up. “Maybe they just don’t want us to worry,” she said softly.

Twilight nodded. “I’d say that’s about right. The thing is, AJ, they’re still so in the dark on what’s going on that any ‘conclusions’ they might come up with would only be speculation. And they probably don’t want us to worry over what really only amounts to hunches and estimations.” She smiled. “I’m sure if they actually come up with a reasonable answer or if they need us for anything, they’ll come to us.”

Applejack turned to Link, who had been walking in front of them the whole way and, given the way his large ears had been twitching, had clearly been listening in. “That all true, big fella?”

Link turned and removed his oxygen mask. He nodded, smiling softly.

Applejack raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Y’all don’t talk much, do ya?”

Link frowned, replacing his mask.

Applejack blinked. “Erm…” she muttered. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?”

The hero sighed deeply into the mask and shook his head, shrugging.

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh dear…” she said. “It’s not just that he doesn’t talk, AJ. He can’t talk.”

Applejack frowned. “What?” She looked back to Link. “But, y’all ain’t deaf or nothin’.”

Link turned around and stopped, prompting the ponies to stop as well. The hero moved the mask, tubes, and oxygen tank out of the way and hooked a finger under his collar. Pulling down with one arm, the hero revealed his throat to the three of them.

All three ponies gasped at what they saw.

A large, purple scar ran along the length of his neck. The jagged line of flesh ran horizontally across his throat, cutting straight through where his vocal cords were located. 

“Oh my!” Twilight gasped.

“Whoa Nelly.” Applejack’s eyes widened. “That’s a helluva shame.”

“Oh you poor thing.” Fluttershy whimpered, trotting up to Link and wrapping a hoof around his leg.

Link looked at the three of them, clearing his throat and opening his mouth.

“Hhhit’ssz nnutk ssszo baad.”

The ponies all started, looking at the green-clad hero in shock. His words were slow and drawn out, his otherwise handsome tenor voice tainted by an extremely hoarse, gurgling quality that mangled his words and made it sound more like the gurglings of a monster than actual speech. Mere moments after he finished his sentence, he suddenly broke down in a fit of coughing and wheezing, quickly replacing the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and taking a few deep breaths.

“So that’s why the only sound y’all ever make is grunting,” Applejack said, looking down at her hooves. “I’m mighty sorry.”

Link shrugged and began leading them back down the hall.

Twilight trotted up next to him. “How’d it happen?” she asked, before looking away sheepishly. “I mean, if you’re okay with answering.”

Link removed the mask again, briefly looking at her. “Gkoat hurrn,” he managed to croak out before having to replace the mask.

“A goat horn?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening even further. “You were gored by a goat?”

Link nodded, his eyes not betraying any emotion.

“Oh that’s terrible!” Fluttershy wailed. “That must have been so awful.”

He nodded again but then patted Fluttershy on the head, only to be suddenly subjected to a big hug from Fluttershy, who’d fluttered up to his level to wrap her hooves around his shoulders.

Link coughed awkwardly, but smiled a little behind his mask, petting Fluttershy on the back. He broke off the hug after a moment and put her back on the ground.

“I’m mighty sorry, pardner,” Applejack said. “Didn’t mean to dredge up any lousy memories.”

Link waved her off, as if to say it was no big deal. He then waved down the hallway, motioning for the three of them to keep following. The three of them followed wordlessly, now silent after Link’s startling reveal.

Link led the three of them down the hallway a little further before turning around a corner and leading them to a large door. The ponies all looked quizzically at the door, which appeared to be completely out of place in the seemingly Neighgyptian-inspired hallway. The door was made out of a cherry-red wood, set into the wall. The doorjambs and lintel jutted out from the sandstone wall a little bit and the lintel was much longer than the length of the door itself. On the door was painted what looked to be a Neighponese symbol of some kind.

“Well that’s odd,” Twilight muttered, cocking her head.

Link strode up to the door and opened it inward, bidding the ponies step inside. The three of them followed his direction, only to find themselves in a small wooden room with no ceiling, the bright-blue sky clearly visible above them, puffy-white clouds drifting lazily overhead. The walls looked distinctly fence-like, unvarnished and natural, with distinct, vertical boards. On either side of them, there were two more doorways, with curtains draped over to keep anyone from seeing beyond them.

“I don’t understand?” Twilight said, looking at Link.

Link responded by pointing to the ponies and then to the doorway on their left covered by a pink curtain. He then pointed to himself and then to the doorway on the right, which had a blue curtain.

“You… want us to split up?” Twilight asked quizzically.

Applejack protested. “But we don’t know our way around this place!”

Link waggled his hand up and down, palm turned down to the floor, as if to tell the ponies to calm down. He then pointed to the curtain behind him.

Twilight frowned. “Um… I guess you’ll be right over there if we need you?”

Link nodded.

The little unicorn sighed. “Alright then,” she looked to her friends. “Come on, girls. Let’s see what Link’s got for us.”

Link waved to the three ponies and then disappeared behind the blue curtain. Moments later, the three ponies walked through the pink curtain and emerged into a narrow, wooden hallway with a steepled roof. The three ponies trotted down the hallway and down a set of stairs, which ended on a smooth, natural stone floor. Emerging out a doorway at the end of the wooden hallway, the three ponies gasped at what they saw.

It was a hot spring. A fresh, clear pool of steaming water sat surrounded by large, naturally smoothed stones. Fronds and flowering plants and even a few trees poked up from between the rocks, giving the place the look of a natural, enchanting glade. The far wall was a large boulder, down which a small waterfall trickled and poured into the spring, bubbling at the base. Out from the boulder stretched another wooden fence, which dipped into the water, but didn’t appear to go all the way to the bottom of the pool. The fence stretched across the spring, cutting it in half, and reached all the way to a boxy wooden structure, which Twilight guessed was the room they had just been in. 

The stone path they stood on wrapped around the large rocks that held in the spring, and led down into another set of natural stone stairs which dipped directly into the spring. At a few points around the pool, the rocks opened up and small waterfalls poured down into secondary pools, surrounded by their own large, flattened rocks. The last wall of the little courtyard was covered in a large hedge of jasmine vines, giving the place a delightful, flowery scent. 

“Oh my,” Fluttershy gasped cheerfully. “It’s lovely!”

“It looks exactly like the hot springs of Neighpon,” Twilight observed, fascinated. “They really have everything here.”

“So it’s like… a pool or somethin’?” Applejack asked.

Twilight shook her head. “More like a public bath. Hot springs in Neighpon are often used to unwind and regain strength. Ponies there use them for relaxation, meditation, and rejuvenation.”

“Oh my, Leaf. It seems we have company,” came a vaguely Trottingham-accented voice from behind a larger rock.

The ponies all jumped and turned to look where the voice came from. From behind the rock swam two figures. The first was a human girl with long, dark silvery-brown hair and gray eyes wearing an aqua green two-piece swimsuit. The second figure was very different, taking the form of a blue, two legged fox woman. She had the same basic body shape as most of the humans in the Acropolis, but her face was pointed with a muzzle, she was covered in light blue fur, save for parts that seemed to somehow be tattooed with white designs, and she had a big bushy tail and fox ears. Her hair was dark blue and styled short and spunky. She wore a gold two-piece swimsuit and a circlet on her forehead with a blue gem set in the center. Along with the two women, a third creature was spotted swimming around the spring, this one a dark blue turtle with a surprisingly fluffy tail and large, fluffy, pointed ears.

“Oh dear,” Twilight said, spying the two women, looking over the foxlike one curiously. “I’m so sorry, we didn’t know that there was anybody here.” She looked back and forth between the two women and the exit. “We can leave if you’d like.”

The foxlike one giggled softly. “Oh no, it’s no trouble,” she said, lifting a blue hand out of the water and motioning to the spring. “There’s plenty of room for everybody.”

Twilight blushed. “Well, if you’re sure.”

“Of course,” the human girl said with a wide smile. “The more the merrier.”

Twilight looked between her friends and shrugged, the three of them descending towards the water. “Thank you,” Twilight said as she dipped a hoof in gingerly, the heat of the spring making her recoil at first. She quickly adjusted, though, and lowered herself in the rest of the way, the other girls following her lead. The purple unicorn turned to the other women, looking at them curiously. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Applejack and Fluttershy.”

“Howdy.”

“Hello.”

The foxlike woman smiled widely and placed a hand on her chest. “My name is Krystal, and my friend here is Leaf Green.” The human known as Leaf waved at the ponies from the other side of the spring. “Charmed to meet you all.”


*     *     *


Even though the conference room wasn’t anywhere near as packed as it had been the previous evening, the atmosphere was far more tense. Indeed, only four people currently sat around the long, wooden table, but the conversation at hand was many times more dire.

Zelda looked suspiciously down across the table at the purple-glowing fairy girl, who sat cross legged atop an upended teacup. The fairy’s arms were crossed in front of her chest and her face was set in an angry death glare up at the Hylian princess.

Meanwhile, a few seats down from the two of them, Luigi and Princess Peach sat, trying to keep things civil between the two Hylians. Luigi looked back and forth between the two of them, a nervous sweat running down the back of his neck as he fanned himself with his green plumber’s cap. On the other hand, Princess Peach looked completely calm and at home as she watched the two of them trade jabs.

The fairy glared up at the princess with a snide look. “...I’ll say it again,” she snapped. “The fairy dominion does not recognize the authority of the Hylian crown, so you can take your demands and stuff them.”

Zelda struggled to keep her composure, briefly breaking eye contact with the fairy to rub her temples. “And I repeat, this is not a demand, nor even an official request from the crown. Even if it were, the Hylian royal family has no power in this world.”

“Well then you can stuff it twice over,” the fairy girl said, sticking her tongue out at the princess.

Zelda took a deep breath. “All I asked was your name,” she said as evenly as she could. “Surely that’s not worth all this resistance.”

The fairy girl narrowed her eyes and scowled, blowing a puff of air out from between her lips and sending a lock of purple hair fluttering out of her face. “Like the great traitor of Hyrule would know anything about resistance.”

The princess went stiff, her face rigid and stony. “What was that?”

The fairy responded by giving her a sneer. “You heard me, Princess Bend-Over,” she snapped. “I have nothing to say to the princess who let the whole known world get taken from the back.”

Zelda suddenly leapt to her feet, slamming her palms down on the table with a loud ‘BANG’ as her chair clattered to the floor behind her. “Listen here you little–”

“That’s enough!” Peach shouted, standing up herself. She turned to the Hylian princess with a firm but calm look on her face and spoke calmly but forcefully. “Zelda, why don’t you go take a break?”

“But–” Zelda opened her mouth to protest, only for Peach to hold up a hand.

“I can handle this, Zelda,” Peach insisted. “You can sit this one out.” She looked back and forth between her and the fairy. “And frankly, as much as I know you like to be on top of everything here, I’m not convinced we’re going to get anywhere with you present.”

Zelda looked almost struck for a split second, then fell into an angry glower for another moment before finally settling back on her mask of neutrality. She took another deep breath and turned on her heel, walking out of the room. “Very well, I leave this to you, Peach,” she said as she firmly closed the door behind her.

“Phew,” Luigi said, replacing the cap upon his head. “I was worried there would be some kind of all out magic brawl for a second.”

“Thanks for that,” the fairy said, still glaring at the door Zelda had left from. “I can barely stand being in the same nation as that hussy.”

Peach sat down across from the fairy, looking down at her compassionately. “You seem to have a problem with Princess Zelda.”

“No shit,” the fairy said, turning back to Peach, an eyebrow raised as if to say ‘are you kidding me?’ The fairy snorted and rolled her eyes. “Word of advice:” she continued, “kick her out of here before she sells you all out to save her own skin. She has something of a history of that.” She looked Peach up and down, taking her in and focusing particularly on her ears. “So what are you supposed to be? Some kind of albino Gerudo?”

“My name is Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom,” Peach replied. “And I’m afraid I don’t know what a Gerudo is.”

“Not important,” the fairy said, waving her off, as she looked at her suspiciously. “Not sure I’m keen on talking to any princesses though. Especially not one named ‘Toadstool.’”

Peach nodded, giggling a little. “It is a rather unfortunate name, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunate?” The fairy laughed. “It sounds like you’re either planning on poisoning anyone who crosses you or you’re something that came out of the back end of a frog.”

Peach’s lips turned up into a wry smile. “Well it’s not like your name is any better.”

The fairy scowled. “What’s so bad about Prank?” Her eyes widened and she immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.

Peach sat back triumphantly. Luigi chuckled.

The fairy known as Prank raised an eyebrow and glared at the princess from behind her curtain of purple hair. “Well played, Toadstool.”

Peach smiled. Luigi spoke up, clearing his throat. “So, Prank.” he began, “do you have any idea where you are or how you got here?”

Prank turned her glare on the plumber, looking him up and down. “And who are you supposed to be?”

“My name’s Luigi.”

“And what, are you a princess too?” Prank asked with a sarcastic smirk.

Luigi chuckled. “Nah. I’m a plumber.”

Prank raised an eyebrow. “The hell’s a plumber?”

“We’re getting off track,” Peach said, turning the fairy’s attention back towards her. “We were just wondering if you had any idea where you were or how you got here.”

Prank shrugged. “Beats the hell outta me,” she replied exasperatedly. “One second I’m sunning myself at a fairy fountain and the next,” she clapped a fist into her open palm, “BAM! trapped in a bottle watching the Hero of Hyrule – who’s a lot less impressive in person by the way – duking it out with some orange… thing.” She threw her arms up in the air, continuing. “And THEN... I’m suddenly in this crazy castle or whatever this place is with all manner of weirdos. Seriously, what in the hell is going on here? I think I saw the freaking Demon King out there! How are you all not lying in shallow graves right now?!”

Luigi sighed. “Alright, long story short, this is a fighting tournament. People are summoned here, both good and evil, from many different worlds, to fight against each other. Whoever wins the tournament gets a wish granted.”

Prank stared at Luigi. “You’re mental,” she said matter-of-factly. She turned to Princess Peach. “What’s going on here?”

Peach shrugged. “No, he’s pretty much right. He left out some details, but that’s a good sum-up.”

Prank stared at the two of them before shaking her head and laughing. “Alright, that’s a good joke, guys. Very funny. I can appreciate a good prank as much as anyone. Hell, it’s my NAME,” she said, clapping her hands gently, turning back to them with a nervous smile. “But seriously. What’s going on?”

Luigi shook his head. “No joke.” He nodded at the door. “You saw all those creatures out there. How many of them were completely alien to you?”

“Well… I mean…” The fairy sputtered. “I mean, okay, but they could just be from across the sea or something. Nobody has any idea what lies beyond the ocean.”

“Except you recognized the place where the fight you saw took place, right?” Peach said with a smile that bordered on smug.

“Well yeah, it was the Sacred Grove! The site of the old Temple of Time! Any fairy would recognize it.”

“So you can’t be across the sea then, now can you?” Peach said.

“But I…” Prank said, her eyes widening.

“And…” Luigi said, holding up a finger, “from what I’ve heard, fairies are everywhere in Hyrule. If that’s true, surely you would have heard of a massive fighting tournament with dozens of creatures from across the sea travelling to Hyrule.”

Prank glowered at the two of them, before finally huffing and crossing her arms again. “Well, fine, but that rules out another world too! How can the Sacred Grove be in another world?”

“That’s because this is a place known as the Smashworld,” Peach explained. “The Smashworld takes pieces of our worlds and replicates them here as arenas for us to fight in.”

Prank shook her head. “This is too weird… wait…” She looked panicked all of a sudden. “Are you saying I’m going to have to fight in this crazy tournament of yours?!”

Peach frowned. “Well… I’m not sure. I don’t think so, or your name would be on the roster. I suppose we should check to see if it’s there now, though.”

Prank suddenly flew up in the air. “No! Hell no! I refuse! Put me in an army and I’ll fight, but you can’t expect me to square off one-on-one with the freaking Demon King! How the hell is he even here, anyway? The Hero of Twilight killed his ass!”

“Prank, please calm down,” Peach said, standing up.

“Hell no!” She pointed at the two of them, “You can both stuff it where the sun don’t shine! I’m out of this crazy place!” The fairy turned to the door and suddenly glowed bright purple as she gathered magical energy.

“Wait!” Peach shouted, holding out a hand to stop her but it was too late. Prank discharged the magical purple lightning bolt of energy at the door, blowing a six-inch hole in the wood. Peach and Luigi leapt across the table to try and catch her but Prank was too fast, zipping out the door at a speed neither of them could follow and leaving a purple contrail in her wake. The two of them tumbled over the table and landed on the other side in a tangled heap.

The two of them lay there dazed for a moment, Peach lying atop Luigi, her dress ruffled and her hair mussed up. Luigi nursed a bump on his head as he looked up at the princess.

“I think that went well,” he muttered.

“Oh hush.”


*     *     *


Queen Chrysalis wandered down a winding hallway of cyclopean stones. The atmosphere in the corridor would have been creepy and unnerving were it not for the cheerfully lit lamps, pink carpet, and potted flowers dotting the sides of the hallway. Her mane and tail dangled down from her head as she casually walked across the ceiling, her hooves clinging fast to the stonework like an insect. 

The queen’s face was set in a frown of concentration as she mentally mapped the layout of the Acropolis. Honestly, once you got past the fact that it was geometrically impossible and defied all laws of space and reason, it was pretty easy to plot out. Once you worked through the lingering insanity that comes from trying to understand non-euclidian geometry, of course. Queen Chrysalis had spent the last several months jailed in a castle that worked in a similar manner, so she’d long since circled around back to a semblance of sanity and was now adept at pinning down such layouts. The only difficulty in this case was going to be the sheer scale of the Acropolis. The Palace of the Cuddle Cats that she’d taken over as a headquarters in her failed invasion of Ponyville was maddening, for sure, but it was comparatively small (inasfar as one could call a place that did not ascribe to the laws of space and relativity ‘small’). The Acropolis was veritably massive. It would likely take the queen months if not longer to map the whole thing out. It became clear pretty quickly why most of the contestants used their R.O.B. guides to get around most of the fortress. 

Speaking of which, Chrysalis watched as a R.O.B. passed beneath her. The little red and gray robot waved up at her in a friendly manner as it passed. Chrysalis sneered at it, then continued on her way, lamenting her separation from her little changelings. If she had her swarm, she could map this place out in a mere week or two with the help of the hive connection she had with her children. Chrysalis sighed and shook her head. There was no point in pining for what couldn’t be. She needed to focus on getting ahead in the tournament. Eight months of separation would be worth it if she could create a better world for her changelings with but a wish.

Eventually she came to an X-shaped intersection, which split off into three directions. To her left was a hallway that looked to be made of pink, fluffy clouds with a rainbow for a floor. Chrysalis grimaced and decided she’d save mapping that part of the Acropolis out for later.

Directly ahead of her, the walls seemed to be made of cinderblocks painted an off-white or light yellow. The floor looked to be made of metal grating of some sort, but the hallway was blocked off by a bunch of crates and cardboard boxes piled high, nearly to the top of the corridor. Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, noticing a gap between the top of the pile of crates and the ceiling, but it was narrow and Chrysalis wasn’t interested in scraping up her carapace at the moment to see what lay beyond. She decided to come back when the R.O.B.s moved the crates.

Which left the path to her right: a metal corridor that looked stark, gloomy, and minimalistic compared to the rest of the Acropolis. Chrysalis shrugged and turned the corner only to come face to face with a giant, green-skinned man wearing a massive suit of ornate black armor and a flowing red, tattered cape. A wire crown rested atop his head, connected to a brooch headpiece that sat in the middle of his forehead. His hair was a fiery orange and separated into cornrows with the wires of the crown between them, and down his jaw grew a large orange beard. Oversized, downturned eyebrows grew back all the way until they met with his hair, giving him a look of a perpetual scowl, or at best a sinister grin. His plate armor was stylized with a high collar, massive shoulder pads, wristguards, shinguards, boots, and chain mail beneath it all. The queen noticed, though, that the breastplate of his armor was damaged, a large hole split in the middle of his chest. However, instead of exposed skin or chainmail, a bright, glowing light shone from within the hole. The undamaged parts of his armor were decorated with stylized representations of monsters, dragons, fangs, and glowing red eyes.

All in all, the man’s stature was enough to make the queen take a step back. He gave the effect of somebody one absolutely did not want to trifle with if they wanted to keep on breathing.

The man was so tall that his burning yellow eyes made contact with the Queen’s, even as she walked on the high ceiling, and she found herself shivering as she looked into them, though she very quickly managed to rein herself in and regain her queenly composure, scowling at the massive man before her. “Is this a habit you make? Lurking around corners just so you can get a little scare out of passersby?” she snarked at him, preemptively gathering her magic within her should this encounter turn into a fight.

The giant man smiled. It was not a pleasant sight. The shape of his face and eyebrows made any attempt at cheer look downright diabolical. “Not often,” he replied, his voice a bassy, gravelly baritone that seemed to shake the walls around them. “I assure you that was a mishap on my part,” he said, placing a massive, black-nailed hand on his chestplate.

“Indeed it was.” Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “What do you want, human?”

“Merely a moment of your time, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings,” Ganondorf replied, his sinister grin never leaving his face.

The queen’s ears turned back and she scowled while dropping from the ceiling, turning like a cat in midair and landing gracefully on her hooves, using the momentum from her fall to lower herself into a battle stance and aim her horn at him. “How do you know my name? My station? Speak before I incinerate you, human. I have felled greater than your kind.”

The human didn’t flinch. The smile never even left his face. Instead, the giant human, now towering over the queen, simply stood, relaxed as ever before her. “My name is Ganondorf, my Queen,” he said, dipping into a bow, his hand still on his chest. “Demon King, Prince of the Gerudo, and wielder of the Triforce of Power.” As he spoke those last words, the hand on his chest seemed to glow faintly, three glowing yellow triangles appearing upon it, one of which shone brighter than the other two. Queen Chrysalis’ eyes widened as she felt the sheer immensity of the magical power that radiated off of the insignia on his hand wash over her. She did her best to keep her composure, though, as the massive man known as Ganondorf continued. “And to answer your question, any information I may seek on our fellow contestants is available to us, if we merely know where to look for it,” he said, cryptically.

“Oh really?” The Changeling Queen’s eyes narrowed once more. “Any information, you say?”

“Indeed.” Ganondorf’s grin seemed to widen.

Chrysalis scoffed, rising out of her battle stance and into a more casual one, though her muscles were still visibly tensed. “Very well then, Demon King,” she began. “Tell me about myself.”

Ganondorf stepped forward a few paces until he stood beside the Queen. He addressed her, looking past her down the hallway behind her. “I know you are the mother of a race of shapeshifters called the Changelings; parasites that feed on emotions, especially positive ones such as love.”

Outwardly, Chrysalis scowled, though inside, her heartbeat was picking up pace. “Watch your choice of words, Demon King. Parasite is not a word we take kindly to,” she snarled, trying to cover her rising anxiety with indignation and anger.

Ganondorf continued, heedless of Chrysalis’ words. “I know you are old enough to have seen empires rise and fall, and possess a powerful measure of sorcery… though compared to some of the contestants you might find here, you are a mere child, playing with fire.”

Chrysalis snorted, her wings buzzing in short, agitated pulses upon her back. A faint aura of green flame surrounded her horn. Ganondorf continued though, unperturbed. “This is no better demonstrated than the time you attempted to conquer the city of Canterlot. Your surprise attack managed to fell the ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia, and its champions the Elements of Harmony, but as you celebrated your triumph you were too distracted to notice her niece and nephew-in-law gathering their power to take you down. Your hubris and lack of awareness caused you to be defeated by the very emotion you feed upon.”

Chrysalis growled faintly as Ganondorf continued still, but the fire around her horn went out. “Broken and defeated, you attempted to get revenge upon the Elements of Harmony and especially the unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle, as she was the key to your undoing in Canterlot. Kidnapping the young friends and siblings of the Elements of Harmony, you lured them into a trap. A trap that ultimately failed when Twilight Sparkle saw through your ruses and overpowered you in single combat.” Ganondorf shook his head. “Believe it or not I can sympathize. I understand how it feels to have so much power, and to yet be defeated by a whelp you should have been able to crush like an insect beneath your heel.”

Queen Chrysalis sneered, her lip curling up to reveal her needle-like fangs. “How can you know all this?”

“I have my ways,” Ganondorf said, folding his arms behind his back and casting a sidelong glance at the queen. “I can assure you that they are more savoury than the methods the so-called ‘heroes’ use to gather their information. You would think they would be above resorting to subterfuge and trickery to try and get their intelligence,” he said with a dark chuckle

Chrysalis scoffed, stamping a hoof. “I’ve had enough of this,” she snarled. “What do you want of me, Demon King?”

Ganondorf finally turned his head to look into the queen’s eyes. Chrysalis felt a powerful shudder go down her spine. “Are you aware, my Queen,” Ganondorf began, “that the heroes have formed an alliance to keep their enemies in check? That they conspire to sabotage us in the tournament and keep us from earning the prize?”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I spoke with that lowly plumber Mario earlier, and with the way he and several other contestants acted, I assumed they held some sort of alliance.” 

“Well then, Queen Chrysalis, I have a proposal for you,” Ganondorf said, turning his body to face her and stepping forward close enough to touch. He leaned forward at the waist, his hands still behind his back, so that his eyes were nearly level with hers, though he still looked down upon her. “I am putting together an alliance of my own to counter the heroes and their pathetic attempts to stop us.”

Chrysalis pursed her lips. “Really, now?”

“Indeed.” Ganondorf smiled menacingly, an eyebrow quirking. “In fact, here comes one now.”

Chrysalis turned and looked down the hallway. Walking towards her was a blonde human, still taller than her, but standing a head and shoulders shorter than Ganondorf. His face was covered in what looked like electrical scars and he was dressed in a militaristic, olive-green longcoat with red gloves and boots. Somehow, the grin on his face was even more psychotic and menacing than Ganondorf’s.

“Kuwabara, Kuwabara…” the scarred man chanted under his breath. Absently, he held a fist out to the metal wall, powerful bolts of electricity arcing between the wall and his fist.

Ganondorf straightened up and held a hand out towards the newcomer. “Queen Chrysalis, meet Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin.”

“A pleasure,” Colonel Volgin growled with a menacing grin.

“Likewise,” Chrysalis deadpanned before turning back to Ganondorf. “No offense, Ganondorf, but your plan is moronic.”

If anything, Ganondorf seemed to smile wider. “Oh?” he asked, sounding amused.

Chrysalis cocked her head. “As you said, I’m old enough to have seen nations rise and fall. You honestly think in all that time I haven’t tried to join up with a ‘legion of doom?’” She shook her head and chuckled. “It never works. Ever. Every last one of them has eventually fallen into jealousy, bitterness, and infighting.” She looked between Ganondorf and Colonel Volgin, a smug look on her face. “The prize we’re fighting for is a single wish. You honestly think we can team up in an attempt to try and win something like that? We’ll be fighting each other for it before the heroes are even defeated, and that will cause our downfall.” She smirked. “Or can the two of you really tell me that you don’t have a plan to stab the other in the back as your goal comes near?”

Volgin grinned. “Of course we would…” he said, violence in his eyes, “...if we were fighting for the wish at all.”

Queen Chrysalis blinked.

“Of course it would be foolish to try and band together over a single wish. We would fall to infighting almost immediately,” Ganondorf said. “That’s why we are banding together over something more… much more.”

Chrysalis lifted a hoof, moving as if to step back. “And that would be?”

Ganondorf shook his head. “Unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t tell you exactly what it is. At least, not until you’ve been brought into the fold.” He looked at her with a smug, menacing smile. “I can assure you, though, that you want to join us. What we have to offer will absolutely be worth putting up with another ‘legion of doom.’”

Queen Chrysalis hesitated. On the one hoof, she didn’t trust Ganondorf or Volgin in the least. They radiated hatred and malice like heat off of a fire, and even the most naïve nymph would know they were trouble. Still, as she thought about it, she realized that if she were to turn them down, while they couldn’t do anything to actively hurt her here in the Acropolis, they could absolutely work to sabotage her performance in the ring and work together to bring her down with everybody else in the tournament. And she had to admit, she was curious what could be greater than a wish granted that brought two obvious megalomaniacs together like this.

After some hesitation, Chrysalis opened her mouth to speak.

“Get away from her!” came a snarling voice from behind them.

The three villains turned to see the monstrous form of Bowser storming down the hall towards them. Fire curled out of his mouth and his bulging yellow hide flexed with steel-hard muscles and his claws made metallic scraping sounds against each other as he crashed towards them, though the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact that he was storming down the rainbow hallway with pink clouds for walls.

Ganondorf smirked. “Bowser, my old friend. I was hoping to run into you.”

The King of the Koopas stormed up to the group and shoved a claw in Ganondorf’s face. “Can it, pig-boy! I’m not joining you for anything! Not this time!”

The Demon King raised an eyebrow. “Still steaming?” he asked with a chuckle.

“More than you know,” Bowser snarled, smoke curling out of his nostrils, before turning to Chrysalis. “Don’t trust a damn thing this schmuck says, Chrysalis. He makes a habit out of using people before tossing them out like old meat. Whatever he’s asking you to do, bail now!”

With a sigh, Ganondorf shook his head. “I can see our unfortunate history isn’t going to allow us to work together this time, Bowser.”

“Damn right!” Bowser snarled, casting a sidelong glare at him.

Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed in confusion. She could feel the emotion coming off of Bowser. He was pissed. It was obvious from his emotions that he was speaking from experience and Ganondorf had stabbed him in the back, just as she had known he would. From the sheer level of anger towards him that Bowser had, though, she wondered just how badly he must have betrayed him.

But what really struck her curiosity was an emotion lying beneath all that. Beneath all the rage and fury that Bowser held there was a faint trace of… concern?

A concern directed at her...

Chrysalis balked. In her previous encounter with Bowser, he had been a self-absorbed bully, and suddenly he was showing a trace of worry for her? It had been eons since anything had ever felt anything but contempt and hatred for her and her kind. Where in Equestria did this sudden sense of sympathy, no matter how small, come from? This tiny shred of concern intrigued her. In fact, it piqued her curiosity far more than what Ganondorf proposed. 

She had to know more.

Queen Chrysalis turned to look at Ganondorf. “Well, I think my point has been confirmed well enough,” she said with a smug smile.

Ganondorf frowned, before feigning a sad sigh. “Very well, my Queen. The offer remains on the table, however, if you change your mind.”

Chrysalis turned on a hoof and walked back the way she came down the stone hallway. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Ganondorf. Volgin.” She turned to look at Bowser. “Come, Bowser. Perhaps we can find more savory company elsewhere.”

Bowser blinked.

“I uh…” he said, startled, before shaking it off. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Hold up,” Volgin said, stopping the two of them and causing them to turn to look back at him. “Before you go…” he growled, turning to look at the pile of crates stacked up in front of the concrete and metal-grated hallway. The Colonel looked intensely at a cardboard box that sat in front of the base of the stack of wooden crates.

Chrysalis and Bowser looked on with perplexed expressions as Colonel Volgin stomped up to the cardboard box, his fist crackling with electricity. The scarred man suddenly raised his fist above his head and brought it crashing down upon the cardboard box, crushing it and setting the paper aflame.

Orange juice and a mess of pulp splattered all over the hallway as the box crumpled and split beneath his fist. Fruit guts splashed the walls and the gathered villains’ faces. A single, sad, lonely orange bounced out of the split in the box and rolled towards Chrysalis’ hoof, bouncing off of it.

Bowser chuckled. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Yes, you certainly showed that box of fruit who was boss.”

Volgin gaped wide eyed for a second, before he snarled and turned on a foot, stomping back the way he came down the metal hallway. A corner of Ganondorf’s mouth curled up, amused. “Well then,” he said, “it’s been wonderful meeting you, Queen Chrysalis. I will see you again soon.” And with that, he calmly turned and followed Volgin.

Chrysalis snorted, then turned back down the stone hallway. “Come on, Bowser. Let’s go find something to hit.”

Bowser grinned, following the queen. “That sounds like my kind of fun…”


*     *     *


The collection of villains had passed when the vent on the wall of the metallic hallway was pushed open with a silent squeak. The vent cover fell free from its slot on the wall and tumbled, only to be caught by a blue-gray gloved hand before it could reach the floor. Moments later, a figure emerged from the vent, silently squeezing out of the confines of the ventilation shaft and twisting around to land on his feet with nary a sound.

Snake straightened up, watching after Ganondorf and Colonel Volgin, who were just turning a corner at the end of the metal hallway, then looked down the stone hallway after Chrysalis and Bowser, only to see the two of them were already out of sight. Snake grunted, leaning up against the wall of the metal hallway and pulling a pack of cigarettes out of a pouch on his sneaking suit. Lighting it and taking a long drag, Snake mulled over what he’d just overheard. He looked briefly to his right at the crushed cardboard box filled with ruined, dripping fruit and grimaced. Apparently that trick wouldn’t work on Volgin. He’d probably learned it from…

...Snake shook his head. 

With a grunt, Snake lifted two fingers to the side of his head. He crouched, getting ready to contact his support group back in his home dimension when all of a sudden, he heard another voice in the hallway with him.

“Gracious, I’m glad I didn’t choose that as my hiding spot.”

Snake whipped around, grabbing ahold of his knife and getting into a combat stance as one of the wooden crates piled up and blocking the hallway opened at the top and a well dressed man emerged from within, looking down at the crushed box of oranges. He quickly reached down into the crate he was standing in and pulled out a fancy-looking top hat, placing it upon his head before noticing that Snake was in the hallway with him, looking at him suspiciously. He smiled warmly. “Ah, hello my good sir. That was rather bracing, wouldn’t you say?” He climbed out of the crate and jumped off the pile, landing deftly on the floor below, straightening up and brushing dust off of his dark brown sport coat. He held out a hand to Snake. “Professor Hershel Layton, at your service.”

Snake looked at the offered hand and grumbled something barely audible. Though he relaxed his stance and sheathed his knife, he did not shake it. “I know who you are, Professor. What are you doing here?” After a moment, Professor Layton retracted his hand and continued.

“I see my reputation precedes me,” he said, sounding curious, and continued. “I was informed by a fetching woman in a purple gown that that Ganondorf fellow was known for making trouble at these tournaments, so I decided that I would do my part as a gentleman and see if he happened to be up to his old tricks. It was lucky I stumbled upon him when I did, it seems. I rather dislike snooping around but we do what is necessary. He gave a great deal away to that Chrysalis woman, though he does seem to have left us with quite the puzzle.”

“Puzzle my boot!” came a voice from a few feet down the pink, cloudy hallway. “Ain’t no puzzle to figure out. We just gotta get to them and kick them ‘till they know not to pull anything!” A moment later, a fist punched out of the pink cloud that made up the wall. The hand clutched the cloud wall and peeled it away, revealing a man dressed in an unbuttoned leather vest with no undershirt and ratty jeans. He wore combat boots, an alligator tooth necklace, and a worn bush hat, also decorated with alligator teeth. He stumbled out of the wall and into the intersection, his clothes dotted with wisps of pink cloud still clinging to him.

Professor Layton nodded to the wildman. “Solid Snake, my friend and associate here at the Acropolis, Mr. William West.”

The strange man reached over and grabbed Snake’s hand from his side, shaking it vigorously. “Folks call me Bayou Billy. William West was m’ Pa.”

Snake pulled his hand away from Bayou Billy as Professor Layton continued. “As you can probably tell, he prefers the direct approach to solving problems.”

“Hit it ‘till it falls down and don’t get up!” Bayou Billy gave a slightly manic grin.

Snake grunted and turned to Professor Layton. “How did you know my name?”

“Oh, your comrades here at the Acropolis speak rather highly of you,” he said, removing his hat and straightening his hair. “Though at the same time, rather suspiciously as well.”

Snake growled softly, and took another long drag of his cigarette.

“You are aware those will kill you, yes?” Professor Layton said, turning him a concerned glance.

“So I’ve been told,” Snake grumbled noncommittally.

Layton shrugged as Bayou Billy thrust himself into the conversation. “Anyway, like I said,” he exclaimed, “we gotta take them lowlifes down a peg! Teach ‘em they can’t get away with plotting and scheming around here!”

“That won’t work,” Snake said, leaning back against the wall. “Fighting in the Acropolis is regulated pretty strictly. Anything escalates further than a few blows here, and you risk bringing the Master Hand himself down on your head,” Snake looked away and sneered. “Seen it happen. Apparently somebody tries something every tournament.”

Bayou Billy cocked his head and slumped a little. “Well that’s stupid,” he said bluntly. “Floating hand brings us here for a fighting tournament and don’t want us fighting?”

“Fighting is okay as long as it happens outside the Acropolis. The second you step out into the Smashworld, anything is fair game,” Snake said with a shrug. “Ask me, it’s stupid, but I’m not about to argue with a demigod that I think his rules are shit.”

“Language,” Professor Layton said, though he sounded calm as ever.

Snake rolled his eyes and continued. “I don’t get why half the rules here exist. Nobody does. And half the time, we only find out a rule exists because somebody broke it.” He put out his cigarette against the wall and slipped it into a portable ashtray he got off his belt. “Point is, I’m not particularly enthusiastic about getting on the case of a deity and how he makes the rules around here, and if you’re smart you shouldn’t be either.”

Billy grumbled and crossed his arms. Professor Layton spoke up. “Well then, we must figure out what those miscreants have planned and report it to the other contestants. Perhaps the Master Hand himself.”

Snake nodded. “And sabotage whatever it is they’re doing before they can put it into action. Anything that is apparently greater than the wish offered as a prize can’t possibly be good news if it gets in their hands.”

Layton smiled. “Very well, Mr. Snake,” he said. “What should our next step be?”

Snake raised an eyebrow. “My next step is to keep tabs on Ganondorf, Volgin, and anybody else who might be a part of this plan they have.” He pointed at the two of them. “Your next step is to stay out of this and go enjoy the rest of the tournament.”

“Hey now–” Billy started to protest, only for Professor Layton to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m afraid I must disagree, Mr. Snake,” the professor said. “I fully intend to see this puzzle through to the end, and I’m certain that Billy feels the same.”

Snake frowned. “Ganondorf is the definition of crafty. Just because we can’t get into direct fights with one another here doesn’t mean there aren’t ways for people to hurt one another if they’re clever and determined enough.” Professor Layton opened his mouth to say something but Snake held up a hand. “And don’t be fooled,” he continued, “you can be hurt here. The trophy field will keep you safe in a fight, but not only are there ways around it, as long as we’re not actually in an active fight, it goes inactive. People can and do get into accidents here, and sometimes, they aren’t exactly accidents.”

Professor Layton’s brow furrowed, though he quickly returned to his calm, serene visage. “I can assure you, Mr. Snake, that despite appearances I am capable of handling myself in a scrap.”

“‘Sides, how are y’all gonna stop us from tagging along?” Billy asked, a sardonic grin on his face. “‘Specially if we can’t get into fights?”

Snake frowned. He was about to retort when he heard his CODEC chirping in his ear. Grumbling, he turned away from the two of them and faced the wall, putting two fingers up to his ear and activating his codec, a window of his friend Otacon appearing in his vision.

“I’d take them with you, Snake,” Otacon said.

“Otacon,” Snake grumbled. “You heard all that?”

The image of Otacon was swapped out for Colonel Campbell. “We’ve been listening in since you were spying on Ganondorf, Snake.”

The image quickly switched to show Mei Ling. “I think you should let Professor Layton help you, Snake. Whatever Ganondorf has planned, it’s obviously big, and the Professor is very intelligent.”

“I have you for that, Mei Ling,” Snake said with a slight smile.

Mei Ling giggled. “I’m flattered, Snake,” she said, “but there’s only so much I can do to help you from here. Given that we’re in completely different universes at the moment, I mean.”

Snake grumbled. The image switched back to Otacon. “And now that I know who he is, I’ve looked up information on Bayou Billy,” he said with a proud smirk. “I knew he seemed familiar somehow.”

“What did you get?” asked Snake.

“Not much,” Otacon admitted. “He was only ever in one game; ‘The Adventures of Bayou Billy’ in 1988. It… wasn’t a very good game.” Otacon said, sounding slightly hesitant. “Still, he managed to take out the entire New Orleans underworld single-handedly when his girlfriend was kidnapped, and before that he had a background in the military.”

“Ex-soldier, eh?”

“Delta Force, to be exact,” Otacon confirmed.

“Hnnnh…” Snake grumbled. “Didn’t get that impression off him. Doesn’t seem disciplined enough.”

Otacon shrugged. “Looks can be deceiving, Snake.”

Colonel Campbell reappeared in his vision. “Snake, last time you were here, you tried to go solo until it was too late to do anything about the threat Tabuu posed to the multiverse. If it hadn’t been for luck, we wouldn’t be here now. You should consider taking their support.”

“Is that an order, Colonel?” Snake rumbled.

Campbell shook his head. “Still not technically a Colonel, Snake. I can’t order you to do anything. But as your friend, I deeply recommend you have some support on this. You can’t do everything alone.”

Snake sighed. “Fine.”

“Oh don’t be so grumpy, Snake,” Mei Ling said. “Professor Layton seems really nice, and Billy doesn’t seem so bad either. I’m sure you’ll get along.”

“I’m more worried about them getting in my way. Snake out,” he said, removing his fingers from his ear and terminating the call. Snake turned back around, only to notice Layton and Billy staring at him strangely.

“Are you quite alright, Mr. Snake?” Layton asked, looking concerned.

“Y’all were whispering to a wall for three minutes,” Billy added.

“Contacting my support back in my world. Don’t ask,” Snake said, continuing before they could ask how that was possible. “Looks like you two are in.”

“Alright!” Billy cheered, clapping Snake on the shoulder, causing the soldier to flinch reflexively.

Professor Layton nodded. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Now then,” he continued, pulling down on the brim of his hat, “let’s foil some miscreants.”