> I'm a Cat! > by DismantledAccount > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > I'm a Cat! > --------------------------------------------------------------------------         I wake up slowly. The sunlight is shining on my face. I rub my sleepy eyes with my little blue hooves. I sit up in my bed. My special Wonderbolt covers that Mommy bought for me are nice and warm, but it’s time to get out of bed.         I stand up in my bed. I yawn and stretch a bit to wake myself up. It doesn’t help very much. I yawn again.         I need to brush my teeth like Mommy says. I look down at the soft floor. I live in a cloud house so everything is soft. The floor, the walls, the bed, my bed, my bed… so soft…         “No!” I squeak. Mommy says that if the sun shines on my eye from window then I have to get up.         I shake my head and jump down onto the floor. The floor makes a soft “poof” sound whenever I jump on it. I giggle a little bit. I always like hearing that sound.         I climb back onto my bed, grinning. I crouch down and wiggle my hips. I wiggle and waggle them until I spot my target. I focus my eyes on the small, colorful object sitting close to my bed.         I leap down on the rainbow-colored sock, making the “poof” sound again and causing me to giggle some more. My sock is underneath my right front hoof and I bat at it with my other hoof. I bite on it with my teeth and pull on it. The sock stretches but doesn’t break, so I try harder. I pull with my teeth and twist my head side to side. The sock looks all sad and lumpy now.         “I sor-rre,” I mumble around the sock. I roll onto my back and let go of the sock with my teeth. I kick the sock into the air. It spins around in the air then falls into the garbage can. “Oopsie,” I giggle.         I roll to my hooves and scamper over to the garbage can. I reach it but I am too short to see into it. I stand on my back hooves and put my front hooves on the rim. “Uh’most,” I grunt quietly. I can see over the rim but I can’t see my sock.         I pull the can towards me, but just a little. I still can’t see my sock. I pull it toward me a little more. I huff quietly, disappointed. I pull it toward me really slowly. The can wobbles for a second then falls over with the quiet “puff” sound. I giggle again. I really do love that sound.         I can see my sock! I crawl into the can and pick up the sock with my teeth. I hear a crunchy sound and I freeze. I wait, ears twitching. Silence, I can’t hear anything. It must have been nothing. I take another step and freeze. There it is again. “Show self,” I mumble, looking around and holding my sock like a very floppy stick. I can’t see anything. I lift up my hoof and look underneath it. I see a candy wrapper stuck to the bottom of my hoof. I giggle some more. Silly wrapper. I shake my hoof really hard until the wrapper falls off. I scamper out of the can and over to my animal calendar. I grip the page with my teeth and pull on the paper until I hear it tear. I see a picture of an animal and some words. I’m not too good at reading yet, but Mommy says I’m getting better everyday. “Cat, a cute, flu...ffy? Animal that sleeps lots. It like to ch-a-s-e thing like mouses or toys. They curl up in ball to lay down. They start...led by loud noises some-time. Cat say meow.” I look at the picture closely. I reread the words. Mommy always tells me that I like to sleep, Daddy tells me I’m cute, and I like to play with my toys. Cats just look a little bit different than I do. I think for a few moments, tapping my hoof against my chin. I take the sock that I was playing with and set it next to me. I lay on my back and lay my tail across my tummy. The tip of my tail tickles my nose a little, but I try to ignore it. It doesn’t work, I sneeze three times in a row. I giggle and wipe my nose. I grab the sock in my teeth and hooves and slowly slide it over my tail. It is kind of hard to put on, but eventually I slide it all the way until it touches my rump. I get to my hooves and compare my new tail to the cat’s tail. “It perfect!” I giggle. I can see that the cat has some lines coming out of its muzzle. I put my hooves up to my cheeks. I don’t have any lines. I stick out my tongue and think for a while. Suddenly, I run over to my art supplies. I open my markers and shake my head around, dumping them all over the floor. I pick up my black marker and open it with my teeth. I stick the marker in the cloud wall and nuzzle my face against it on both sides. I decide it’s time to go wake up Mommy now. I know that Daddy won’t be there, but Mommy will be. Daddy is gone all the time. I wish Daddy was home more. I walk out of my room and into Mommy’s and Daddy’s bedroom. The curtains are still closed and the room is still dark. “Meow,” I say. I try and jump onto the bed, but I don’t jump high enough. I fall back to the ground with a “poof”. I lay on the ground for a second then get to my hooves. I try again and almost reach the top, but I don’t. I just fall back down. I huff in frustration. I flutter my wings and jump. I land with my forehooves on top of the bed and the rest of me hanging off. I grunt and pull the rest of me up onto the bed, my flapping wings help me with this part a lot. I strike a pose like the Wonderbolts do whenever they do something amazing. “Meow!” I exclaim. I see not just one lump under the covers, but two lumps. I start to smile. Two lumps in the covers means Mommy and Daddy! I meow loudly and jump on one of the lumps over and over. “Ugh… what is it?” asks my sleepy Mommy. “Meow!” I say. “Daddy?” The other lump moves too. “Who’s there?” it says. “Daddy!” I yell, jumping onto the other pony. I am really excited, so I jump and jump and jump and jump and jump and jump. And then I jump some more. My Daddy laughs and grabs me with his forelegs. He hugs me to his chest without opening his eyes, and I hug him back. “Daddy home day?” I ask. “Yes, Dashie,” he replies, his chest rumbling against my head. “I’m home for the rest of the day because it’s Sunday.” “Snugglie?” I ask, burrowing deeper into his embrace. “Of course,” he says. “Don’t forget me,” says Mommy, wrapping her forelegs around me too. I’m sandwiched in between both of my parents, and I’m really happy. I start purring as they both nuzzle me and close their eyes. It feels warm and safe. Even though I just woke up I can feel my eyes closing again...   My tummy growls. It wakes me up. I open my eyes slowly. I’m staring at the ceiling. The covers are up to my chin and my forehooves are gripping the blanket tightly. I look to my right, I see Mommy sleeping; I look to my left, I see Daddy sleeping. I smile. My tummy growls again. “Meow!” I say. “Hungry! Meow!” Mommy moves a little and flutters her eyelids. “What are you doing?” she asks. “I’m a cat, meow,” I say. She opens her purplish-colored eyes and looks at me. She laughs a little then asks me, “What have you done to your face, Dashie?” “Cats needs face lines. Animal calendar say so,” I respond. “Meow.” Mommy laughs some more, waking up Daddy. Daddy opens his yellow eyes and looks at me. “Meow?” I ask hopefully. Daddy starts laughing too. I crawl out of the covers and move toward the foot of the bed. I turn around and look at them. I wave my hoof at them and say, “Hungry! Meow!” “Look, honey, she even did the tail!” says Daddy, causing them both to laugh even harder. They hug each other so that they don’t fall down from laughing so hard. I sit down on my rump and cross my forehooves in front of my chest. “Hun-gry,” I say carefully. I scrunch my muzzle in a disapproving look. Sometimes my parents are really silly, they should be glad I’m okay with that.  I have to wait forever while my parents calm down enough to actually speak. “S-so, a c-ca-at, huh?” giggles Mommy. “Gu-e-ss so,” replied Daddy, laughing. “Done?” I ask, sending my parents into another fit of giggles. “Sorry, Dashie,” says Daddy. “It’s just that you are too cute for words sometimes.” “Meow,” I say, frowning. “So, sweetie, do you think that our adorable, new cat wants some breakfast? Well... lunch at this point,” Mommy asks. “I don’t know, honey, I think I’ll ask her,” says Daddy. “I’ll get started on lunch while you ask her, because I am definitely ready to eat,” says Mommy, walking out of the room. “Thank you, honey,” Daddy says to Mommy. “Mmmhuh,” she replies. “So, Dashie, are you hungry?” Daddy asks me. “Meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow,” I squeak, nodding. “I don’t know…” says Daddy. “You don't seem too sure.” “Meow, hungry, meow!” I squeal, louder this time. Daddy leans forward and wraps me in his forelegs. He nuzzles my face then asks, “Are you sure?” “Meow!” I say, giggling. I see his right wing open up, and I see the tips of his wing move closer to my tummy. My eyes widen in alarm. “No,” I say. It’s too late though, his grin tells me that he isn’t listening. “No, no, no! Nooooooo!” His feathers move closer and closer until… contact! I laugh and laugh and giggle and chuckle and... every other word that means laugh. I laugh so hard that I start crying! I pretend that I don’t like being tickled but it’s just that, pretending. I can barely think straight he is tickling me so much! I know Daddy isn’t ticklish, so I try something different. I lick his face from his chin to his mane. He stops tickling, so I lick again and again. I lick all over his closed eyelids and tightly shut lips. He backs away from me. He sits down on the bed and wipes his foreleg all over his face. Daddy looks at me with an unreadable expression. I look at him with wide eyes, a small smile, and my tongue still sticking out of my mouth. I take one of my forelegs and bat at the air with it. “Meow?” Daddy smiles. I giggle. Daddy laughs. I laugh. Just like Mommy said, nopony can stay mad at my cute face! “Come on down you two!” yells Mommy from downstairs. “Brekkast!” I squeak. “Mean, meow!” Daddy gets off the bed and stands next to it. “All aboooooooard! Next stop: the kitchen!” yells Daddy. “Meow!” I yell, jumping on his back. I climb into his rainbow-colored mane and burrow in as best I can. I point to the door and squeak, “Meow!” “Alright then, Dashie, lets go!” Daddy exclaims, trotting out the door. We go down the stairs, through the living room, and end up in the kitchen. I wave to Mommy as we stop next to her. “Meow,” I giggle. “Hello to you too, Dashie,” she says, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Morning, sweetie, did you sleep well?” she asks Daddy. She then gives Daddy a kiss on the lips before he can even say anything! “I was holding you all night, how could I not?” says Daddy after his lips are done being used by Mommy. “You are such a hopeless romantic,” says Mommy, kicking Daddy gently on the leg and blushing lightly through her pink fur. I can see her smiling though and that confuses me a little. Hopeless and hitting and blushing and smiling means confused Dashie. “Only with you,” says Daddy. “My one true love.” “Tell me more,” laughs Mommy. “Of course, my beautiful,” Daddy replies. “I know how much you like it,” he says, nuzzling her cheek. “Go on,” says Mommy smiling. Daddy kisses her from her ear, along her chin, to her lips. “I - could - do - this - for - hours,” he says in between kisses. “How - much - can - you - stand?” “All of it,” replies Mommy. “My amazing - wonderful - gorgeous - totally hot - marvelous - excellent - better than I ever could have hoped for - wife,” says Daddy in between kisses on the lips. “Fine, fine! I give up!” laughs Mommy, gently holding Daddy back with her forelegs. “Just sit down so we can eat.” “Yes, ma’am!” Daddy replies, giving Mommy a… Daddy takes his forehoof and smacks his eye with it…? “Meow!” I say, trying to copy Daddy’s movement. It doesn't work. All I did was hurt me. I rub my aching face; I won’t be doing that again. Daddy carries me over to the table and sits me in my booster seat. He buckles me in so I don’t fall out. I don’t like being buckled into the seat, but Mommy and Daddy are very strict with that rule. It’s okay though, soon I won’t even need a booster seat. Mommy brings over three plates, one for each of us, and sets them down in front of us. Then she brings us our drinks. Coffee for Mommy and Daddy and grape juice for me. On each of Mommy’s and Daddy’s plates is an uncut apple and two slices of toast. On my plate is half an apple cut into little, tiny pieces and half a slice of toast. “Give me! Meow!” I say reaching for the food. “Now, now, Dashie, what have I taught you to say?” asks Mommy. “Give me now! Hungry!” I plead. “No, Dashie. There's please and…?” Mommy stops talking. “Thank you, Mommy!” I say, eagerly clapping my hooves together. “Meow!” “You’re welcome, Dashie,” says Mommy, putting the plate in front of me.         I bury my face in my plate and start munching away. I can hear Mommy and Daddy giggling quietly but I am too hungry to care. I eat all of the food right up! “Taste good, Mommy! Meow!” I say. “I’m glad you liked it, Dashie,” says Mommy. “Meow? What we do next?” I ask. “Well,” said Daddy, “Since I’m home all day I think you should pick. So the question is, Dashie, what do you want to with me today?” I just sit there for a while. Eventually I get a big grin on my face. I rub my hooves together with glee. “Dress up time!” I squeal with joy. Daddy sighed. “I probably should have seen that one coming,” he said mournfully. Mommy just takes a sip of her coffee and nods. “Meow, meow, meow-ow-ow-ow!” I say, trying my best to make a maniacal laugh with cat noises, but it’s really hard. I had finally gotten Daddy into my room after we finished eating. He seemed kind of uncertain about starting, but I just pulled another cute face on him. He is now like a soft cloud in my hooves. I look him over, starting from his rainbow-colored mane and ending with his darkish-blue hooves. “Meow, bend,” I tell him. He lowers his head until his chin touches the floor. “Is this low enough?” “Lower,” I say. He lays his tummy on the ground and asks again. “Now am I low enough?” I nod and pick up my comb. “Meow.” “You’re really serious about the cat thing, aren’t you,” asks Daddy. “Meow,” I say, nodding. I put the comb into Daddy’s messy mane. I try to comb out the knots, but it gets stuck. I stand on Daddy’s face and pull on the comb with my teeth. I push harder and harder against Daddy’s face until my teeth lose their grip. I do a backflip in the air then land on my tummy. “Poof” goes the cloud, causing me to giggle again. “Are you okay, Dash?” Daddy asks quickly, half getting up. I shake my head and slowly get to my hooves. “Meow, all good,” I say walking back over to him. I look at the comb for a second. It can stay there. I get my glitter from my art supplies and sprinkle it over Daddy’s mane. I take the make-up that Mommy gave me and open the container. I pull out a stick of lipstick and take the cap off. I lather the dark blue color all over Daddy’s lips… and his cheeks… and his chin… and his forehead… just, all over his face! Then I take Mommy’s old powder blush stuff, but I can’t figure out how to get it on Daddy’s face. I just unscrew the lid and dump it all over my hooves. I rub it into Daddy’s face with my hooves. Now he has some awesome looking lightning bolts on either side of his face! I sit there and tap my hoof on my chin. Something's missing… “Eye make-up!” I squeak, causing Daddy to groan. I take Mommy’s mass-care-ah out of the container and pour the liquid all over Daddy’s eyelashes. The thick, goopy liquid gets all over Daddy’s eyes, so I wipe it off with my hooves. It just smears everywhere. Now it looks like Daddy is wearing goggles! I carefully wipe my hooves on one of Daddy’s ears. I don’t think he notices. “Face done!” I say. “Clothes time! Meow!” Daddy groans again. I run over to my closet. On the floor I see my old Wonderbolt diapers from when I was a younger filly. The diapers are blue with little pictures of Wonderbolts on them. I grab four of them in my mouth and run back over to Daddy. He is rubbing his eyes and blinking them a lot. “Meow! Put on hooves,” I tell him. I run over to my bed, and then I gently bite on my special Wonderbolt covers and tug. The covers slowly slide off of my bed and onto the floor. I drag the covers backward over to him. I climb over the still lying Daddy and wrap the ends around his neck like a cape. I walk over in front of him and sit down again. Daddy is just putting the last of the diapers on his hooves and tying the knot around his neck. Something is still missing. “Meow…” I mumble. I have an idea! I go back into my closet and find a pair of little, blue socks. I pick them up and run over to Daddy again. I put one sock on each of Daddy ears. I step back and admire my work. I raise my hoof to my lips and blow a kiss. “Wonderbolt!” I exclaim. “Show Mommy! Show Mommy! Show Mommy!” I squeak, jumping up and down. “Yes, Dashie,” sighs Daddy, standing up. “Let’s go show Mommy.” “Follow! Follow! Meow!” I say, running out of the room. I run downstairs into the living room, my wings buzzing with excitement. “Meow! Meow! Meow!” I yell at Mommy. Mommy looks up from her newspaper and takes off her reading glasses. “Are you done, Dashie?” she asks. I nod excitedly. “Meow? Hold?” I ask. “Of course,” says Mommy, picking me up and tucking me next to her. She wraps her wing around me and holds me tightly. “Better?” she asks. I nod. “Come in Daddy! Don’t forget, special walk!” I call toward the staircase. I watch my Wonderbolt walk into the room. Daddy walks slowly into the living room. He carefully places each hoof in an important seeming spot, almost like he is marching. He wiggles his hips side to side with each step of his back legs, his fluffy tail peeks out of the cover and wiggles the same as his hips. He keeps his half lidded gaze locked on Mommy the entire time as he moves closer. He slowly walks right up to Mommy, blinking slowly every once in a while. His blanket cape flutters and his hooves make quiet, crunchy sounds as he walks. He stands right in front of Mommy and flicks his head to the side, sending glitter and bits of dried make-up everywhere. “Hey hot stuff, are you busy later?” he asks Mommy in a tone of voice that I haven’t heard before. “I’m pretty important around here, fast too. What do you say, baby? Pick you up at eight?” Daddy grins and kisses Mommy on the nose. “And I’ll make sure It’s a night to remember…” he trails off with a wink. I look up at my speechless Mommy. Her mouth is hanging open and her eye is twitching slightly. “Silly Daddy! That not special walk,” I tell him. He must have forgotten the special walk I taught him before I put his make-up on! As if the spell -like in my bedtime stories- is broken, Mommy starts laughing uncontrollably. “Laugh you beautiful creature, it only fuels my desire for you! I will chase you to the very ends of the world! I will catch you because I’m a Wonderbolt, and I can’t take it anymore!” says Daddy, giggling and falling over, landing on his back. They are laughing so hard that they both fall over! Mommy falls to the side that I’m not on, and Daddy is lying on his back. Mommy’s legs twitch as she laughs, and Daddy’s legs are kicking in the air. “Yo-ou loo-k-k ri-dic-ulous!” Mommy scream-laughs. Daddy can’t even reply because he is laughing too hard. “I-se-I-tur-yo-trn-lww!” he yells incoherently. “Meow!” I say, trying to get their attention. They ignore me. I sit there while I wait for them to stop laughing. It takes for ever. They just keep giggling and chuckling. Mommy is giggling so hard that her pink face is turning purple! And Daddy is laughing so hard that I can see spit flying out of his mouth like a water fountain. I tap my hoof on the sofa and look at the clock. I remember that I haven’t learned to tell time yet. “Meow,” I grumble. I give a huge yawn. I’m feel kind of tired from dressing up Daddy. I remember what the calendar said about cats. “Naptime!” I say, my voice ignored. I walk over to the corner of the sofa and curl up into a ball with my tail-sock tucked up against my nose. I try to make myself into a perfect ball like the cat in the picture.  Mommy and Daddy are still laughing really loudly so I use a secret trick that Daddy showed me. I break a little bit of the cloud off of the sofa and stick it in my ears. Mommy and Daddy are still laughing but I can’t hear them now. I close my eyes and drift off into sleep. Mommy and Daddy are silly... I wake up because I see a bright flash through my eyelids. I slowly get up and arch my back towards the ceiling. I flap my wings a little and then fold them closed. I yawn then rub my eyes. I open my sleepy eyes to see Mommy and Daddy looking at me. Mommy is smiling softly and Daddy is holding the picture-taker-thingy. Mommy opens her mouth and moves it but nothing comes out. Daddy does the same. I yawn again. I’m still kinda sleepy. Mommy pulled the clouds out of my ears. She must have seen them while I was yawning. “Did you sleep well, Dashie?” she asks. “Good! Mean, meow!” I chirp happily. “Daddy? Why take off Wonderbolt?” I ask him, after seeing that most of his make-up and clothing is missing. “You were asleep for quite a while, Dashie. Mommy helped me with taking off everything, she helped me with the make-up and the clothes... especially with the clothes,” Daddy says, grinning at Mommy. “And then I returned the fav-” “Shhh!” hisses Mommy, kicking Daddy in the leg. “Anyway, I’m sorry and I hope you forgive me,” says Daddy. “Meow,” I say, nodding. “Forgive.” “Thank you. But on the bright side, it’s almost time for dinner,” says Daddy. “Really?” I ask. Daddy nods. “We have a few minutes until dinner finishes, right, honey?” asks Daddy. “Mmmhum,” agrees Mommy. “In that case, I think that now would be the perfect time to show your lovely mother the special walk that you wanted me to do,” says Daddy. “Meow…” I say, thinking. “Please?” asks Mommy. “Your father said it was really cute to watch.” “Okay,” I say. I jump off of the couch run over to the stairs. “Ready?” I ask. “Ready,” they say at the same time. I walk into the room. I put a little spring in my step and tilt my head towards the ceiling a little. I extend my wings and keep them out. I stick my tail in the air straight behind me and wave it back and forth as I make my way towards Mommy and Daddy. “Swoosh! Zoom! Swoosh!” I yell, running around the room. I decide to give them a little extra treat. When I get close to them I jump into the air and lean forward. I was trying to do a frontflip but all I did was get my head stuck in the cloud. I try to get out but my head is completely stuck! “Help! Help! Help me!” I yell, struggling to get free. My hooves push weakly against the cloud but my head is still stuck. It feels like the clouds are choking me! I feel a pair of strong forelegs wrap around my middle, so I stop struggling. I feel the legs pull me out of the cloud and hug me. “Are you okay?” Daddy asks, slightly concerned. I nod and hug him back, I feel better now that Daddy is holding me. Daddy just hugs me in one foreleg while he walks over to the sofa. “Do you want to play a board game while we wait for our food to finish cooking?” he asks. I think for a moment. “Meow. Okay,” I say. “What do you want to play?” asks Mommy, walking over to the game cabinet. “Mono-poly!” I shout, smiling. I like Monopoly. I always win at it too. “Come on over you two and help me set it up,” says Mommy. Daddy carries me over to the the floor, and we help Mommy with setting up the game. “Alright, Dashie, which piece do you want to be?” Mommy asks. I look at the pieces. There’s a flower, a sailing ship, a balloon, a pony, a fancy hat, a horseshoe, a puppy, a chariot, a pot, and a... something farm related… I think. They all look really cool. I take a few minutes to think about my choice. I take all of the pieces and put them on the start. “Meow,” I say looking at Mommy and Daddy. “Dashie, you know we are all supposed to have one of those pieces, right?” Daddy asks. I nod. “Meow.” I like all the pieces. “Here, sweetie, we can use these,” says Mommy, hoofing Daddy a piece of cloud. Mommy starts to roll the dice. “Meow!” I interrupt. “Me first,” I tell her. “Of course, Dashie, how could I forget,” Mommy says, giving me the dice. I roll the dice but I get a low number. “Do over,” I say, rolling again. This time I get even less dots on the dice. I frown. “Again,” I say. I roll again and again until I get all the dots. “Move me,” I tell Daddy, finally satisfied with my roll. Daddy carefully moves all of my pieces the right amount of spaces. I look at the place where I landed. “Daddy, give,” I say, pointing at some of his game bits. “But…” “Give,” I say again.”Meow?” Mommy glares at Daddy. “Fine,” grumbles Daddy, giving me some bits. “Meow,” I say. “My turn?” Daddy asks. I nod. He rolls the dice and gets a few dots. He moves his cloud piece and gets to take a card. “Move to the barn,” says Daddy, picking up his cloud and moving it in front of my pieces. I frown. “New rule!” I exclaim. I pick up Daddy’s piece and move it back to the start. “I’m in front.” “But-” says Daddy, reaching for his game piece. “Sweetie?” says Mommy. “Leave your piece there.” “But that’s not fair,” whines Daddy. Mommy looks at Daddy with her “obey me” eyes. “I know it isn’t fair. Leave it there.” “Yes, honey,” replies Daddy sadly. “My turn, Dashie?” Mommy asks. “Meow,” I say, nodding. Mommy rolls the dice and gets the smallest amount of dots. She begins to move her piece forward but I interrupt her. “New rule. Mommy move back,” I say. “You’re not allowed to do that!” says Daddy. "Yes I am," I tell him. Mommy can’t respond because of the cloud between her teeth but she moves backward anyway. “Sweetie,” Mommy says warningly after letting go of the cloud. “But you can’t!” says Daddy. “It’s just a game, sweetie. With your three year old daughter. Relax a little,” says Mommy, smiling and shaking her head. “A game with rules,” Daddy says. “Be quiet, we’re having fun,” says Mommy, pushing the dice over to me. "Meow," I agree. Daddy grumbles something. “My turn!” I squeak. I pick up the dice in my teeth. “Meow!” I say, dropping them on the floor. Mommy moves my pieces forward the right amount. I look at the place where I landed. “You owe the bank thirty-five bits,” says Daddy. “No, bank owe me,” I say, taking all the bits out of the bank and putting them in front of me. “That’s not how the game works,” says Daddy, reaching for my bits. “Sweetie, she’s three. Cut her some slack,” Mommy says. “But I want to win too…” Daddy says sadly. “If you play nice you might win later,” says Mommy with a wink. Daddy smiles really big, but I don’t know why. “Is it my turn?” Daddy asks happily. “Meow,” I say, nodding. Daddy rolls and then moves his piece to a space. He picks up a card again and reads it out loud, “Bank error in your favor. Collect one hundred bits.” Daddy looks at the pile of bits in front of me. He says nothing. He locks his eyes on Mommy’s eyes and slowly puts the card away, still grinning. Mommy rolls her eyes and takes the dice from him. She rolls a few dots and lands on a space that gives her a card too. “All players owe you twenty bits,” she says, reading the card. I scoop all of Daddy’s and Mommy’s bits in front of me because I can’t count that high. “Meow, meow,” I say. I realize that both Mommy and Daddy have no bits left so I kick their little clouds off of the board, causing them to disintegrate. “Me win! Me win! Meow! Meow! Win!” I happily yell, jumping all around.         “Yes, Dashie, you win again,” Mommy says. “That’s the fifth time in two days. You truly are the master of Monopoly.”         I giggle. I like it when Mommy calls me that. I like it almost as much as I like winning. My tummy growls. “Meow? Dinner?” I ask. Mommy starts to say something but is interrupted by the sound of the kitchen timer. “Dinner’s ready!” she says musically. “Yay!” I say, running into the kitchen. I carefully climb into my booster seat and buckle myself in. The getting in is the easy part, it’s the getting out that I need help with. “Meow. What for dinner?” I ask. “Tonight we are having baked asparagus, broccoli, leek, and squash covered with tomato sauce and hay,” says Mommy as Daddy carries over the pan. “Uhhhhhh… food?” I ask. Mommy giggles. “Yes, Dashie, we are having food for dinner. In fact, this is one of your father’s favorite meals. The table is already set with plates and drinks, Mommy must have done that earlier. Mommy and Daddy sit down at the table as my tummy growls again. Daddy uses the serving spoon to put some of the meal on to each of our plates. Now that I can smell the food I realize exactly how hungry I am. I don’t even wait for Mommy or Daddy to start eating, I just scoop up the food with my hooves and shovel it into my mouth. Mommy was right, this is really good! I bring the plate up to my mouth and lick the plate clean. “Meow! Done!” I squeak, waving my hooves excitedly. Daddy looks over at me and sprays the food he was chewing all over the table. He choke-laughs, “Yo-o-u a-are a-a mes-s, Das-hie!” Mommy smiles and brings a hoof up to her forehead. “Oh, Dashie, what are we going to do with you?” she sighs. “Lau-gh un-controll-ably?” coughs Daddy. “No,” says Mommy. “Bathtime.” I freeze. I absolutely hate the bath. “No!” I shout. “No bath! Cat don’t like! Dashie don’t like!” “Most certainly yes. And I won’t take any arguments from either of you,” Mommy says. “Wait… either of us…?” Daddy asks hesitantly. “Did you honestly think that you would get away without cleaning yourself? Have you looked in a mirror recently?” Mommy asks. “But I-” starts Daddy. “What did I just say?” interrupts Mommy. “No arguing.” “But-” “No. Arguing,” Mommy says again. “I’ll go get the water ready,” she says, heading upstairs. Daddy looks at me sadly. “I guess it’s bathtime, Dashie.” “Don’t wanna,” I pout. “Look, I don’t really wanna either, but your mother has spoken,” Daddy replied. “And if you think I’m going to go against her command then you are being a silly filly. Mommy has… certain leverages in the household that I don’t have.” “La-ver-ages?” I ask. “Yes, la-ver-ages. One of the la-ver-ages is guilt. And as for the other… I can’t tell you until you are older,” says Daddy, glancing over at the stairs. “Hmpf,” I grunt, crossing my forelegs in front of my chest. That doesn’t help. “I’ve got an idea, Dashie. Why don’t we take a bath together?” he says, walking over to me. “Don’t wanna bath!” I yell. Daddy unbuckles me and wraps me in his forelegs. He jumps into the air and begins slowly hovering to the dreaded bathroom. “No bath!” I yell, struggling. The sauce covering me makes me slimy so I slip free. “Cat Dashie not want!” Daddy catches me easily by the back of my neck. “Yesh, Dashhie, bahshtime,” he says around my skin. He carries me up to the bathroom and lands in the tub. “No, no, no, no, no!” I scream. “No bath! Hate bath!”   Daddy sets me down in the deep water, so I try to jump out. Mommy catches me and slowly lowers me back into the tub. “Now, now, Dash, stop struggling and this will be over really quickly. I look over to see Daddy already cleaning the make-up off of his face. “Come on, Dashie! Just give it a try, please? Do it for Daddy,” he says. “Fine,” I grumble, sitting down with a plop. I pick up the washcloth and begin cleaning the sauce off of my hooves. “Done!” I say after wiping each leg once. “Not by a long shot,” says Mommy, picking up the washcloth in her teeth I groan as Mommy starts from the tips of my ears and works her way towards my face. I see Daddy grab a second washcloth and start working on my hooves. He begins cleaning my hooves and my legs and my back and my wings. I feel Mommy scrubbing all over my face and especially my cheeks. I think my face lines are giving her a little bit of trouble. Mommy gently scrubs my eyelids and my ears all over again, I feel all the messy getting scrubbed off. “See, Dashie? It’s kind of nice when you just let it happen,” Daddy says, massaging my back with his hooves. “Still don’t like,” I say. Daddy picks up my forehoof in his and holds it out of the water. I feel him start to scrub the bottom of my hoof. “Stop it!” I shout, tucking my hoof to my chest. “I’m sorry, Dashie, was I going too hard?” asks Daddy. “Yes,” I say, nodding. “I’ll be more gentle this time,” he says, holding out his foreleg. “This time it will feel nice.” I rest my hoof on his foreleg and quickly look away. I feel the washcloth carefully brush the bottom of my hoof. Daddy was right, gentle does feel nice. I feel him clean the rest of my hooves while Mommy finishes with my neck. I feel Daddy take the sock off of my tail, but I don’t really care. I just sit there and close my eyes while Mommy and Daddy wash all the messy away. “See? Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Mommy asks from far away. I nod slowly. Daddy gently picks me up and out of the bathtub. He sets me down on a towel and begins drying me off. I feel my coat and mane fluff out as Daddy gets all the water off. Daddy stops drying me off and picks up a brush. Mommy gets a comb and starts combing my mane while Daddy works on my coat. Daddy brushes all over me, and Mommy combs my tail too. After a little while they stop. “Are you ready for bed, Dashie?” asks Mommy quietly. I yawn and nod. “Sleep with you?” I ask, yawning again. “Of course, anything for my Dashie,” says Daddy softly. He carefully picks me up and cradles me in his foreleg. I close my eyes and take a long, slow, sleepy blink. When I open my eyes again I’m in Mommy and Daddy’s room. Mommy and Daddy both get into bed and pull the covers up. Daddy puts me in between him and Mommy and tucks the blanket up to my chin. Mommy and Daddy both give me a goodnight kiss. “Goodnight, Dashie,” whispers Daddy. “See you in the morning,” Mommy whispers. “Can we do tomorrow?” I ask sleepily. “I have to go to work tomorrow, Dashie. I’ll be gone before you wake up and I’ll be back after your bedtime. But next Sunday I’ll be home again all day, so we can have another family day then,” Daddy says quietly. I remember a word that Daddy once said when he was really mad. “Buck… work,” I whisper, closing my eyes. I hear snickering followed by a soft sounding smack. I fall asleep wrapped in the warm embrace of my giggling parents. “Hey! What did I do?” Storm asks quietly. “I know I didn’t teach her that word,” whispers Firefly. “You got to admit though, it was cute,” says Storm, snuggling closer to Dash. “A little,” giggles Firefly softly, snuggling closer to Dash on the opposite side. “Only a little?” asks Storm. Firefly giggles again. “Okay, okay, it was really cute.” “And you know what?” he asks. “What?” Firefly asks, yawning. “I totally agree with her,” Storm says. “Sweetie?” “Hmm?” Firefly smiles, leans forward, and kisses Storm on the nose. “Just go to bed,” she whispers. “Yes, honey,” replies Storm, closing his eyes and smiling contently. He hugs the rest of his family to his chest and falls into a deep sleep.