Ponyville mortician faces murder, madness, ghosts and Nightmare Moon.
When Equus Mortis, Ponyville's only mortician and coroner, does an autopsy on Rainbow Dash, he uncovers a dark secret only his family is supposed to know. "Death is our life" is his family motto. But is death all he will ever find when he tries to avenge Rainbow Dash? Zachmoviefan did an awesome reading at this link!
This story was deemed a Dirty Ruby on the group "The Gem Hunters"! Woo! If you like this story, then check out the sequel Equus Mortis: Malevolence.
It’s not easy being Ponyville’s only mortician. I’m also the local hospital’s coroner, but that doesn’t bother people as much.
In this world of candy-colored ponies, full of optimism, light and life, I represent (at least to the locals) that part of everypony’s life where optimism is pointless, light dims and life can no longer linger.
It’s not just my tombstone-grey eyes that bother everyone. It’s also my thin white earth pony body, short black mane and tail and my under-weight, emaciated face. It’s also my unenviable cutie mark.
A pony skull.
I got my cutie mark ten years ago when I figured out who killed my pet cat, Samael. The length and depth of the teeth-marks clinched that it was a neighbor’s dog. A flash of light, a tingling sensation on both sides of my posterior, and presto, instant outcast.
Perhaps it’s not so surprising that I got this mark. My family name is Mortis. My father, Ivory Mortis, in a fit of oh-so-cleverness, decided to saddle me with the first name of Equus. An old family name, he claimed. It wasn’t until much later that I found out that my name, in an extinct Equestrian language, means “Pony of death”. Thanks, dad. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Grief, mostly.
Not every profession is the subject of polite society. Someone has to stick their hooves into a corpse’s body in order to find out how that pony died. But that sort of thing is too intimate, too intrusive for most ponies to even contemplate. Not the sort of thing to have a group sing-along about.
When I first moved to this little town, I wasn’t sure if I would be accepted for who I was. To be sure, a few ponies here treated me well. Not soon after I unpacked my last moving box, however, some idiot started the rumor that if I stared too long at someone, they would die. As if I were measuring them for their caskets with my eyes.
As a result of this idiotic (and therefor persistent) myth, I try to not maintain eye-contact with anyone except the employees at the hospital morgue. I look like Nightmare Night all year round. No wonder that holiday bores me.
What some people don’t understand is that I help bring closure to so many families. I not only figure out how somepony dies, but I also make them presentable for their funerals. (Well, if the body can be salvaged enough for that, but I’ll get back to that subject in a minute.)
These jobs I do help everyone walk away from the graveyard. I clean up the mess that cruel fate, or cruel intentions, left behind. I console the bereaved. I even help bury the bodies.
But the day after the funeral, no matter how bright the sun shines, no matter how loudly the residents sing their songs, I am nearly invisible. Not hated, but not embraced with open arms, either.
Then my life got so much worse when I had to do an autopsy on Rainbow Dash.
I was roused out of bed at three in the morning by the town guards. The body was dumped in the middle of town by persons unknown. Since I was the only one in town with the skills to properly figure out what happened, I had to quick-like-a-bunny cram a quick breakfast down my gullet, chug some sugary tea and get to the morgue.
They didn’t tell me at the time who had died, but with so many city guards at the hospital keeping watch for reporters, I knew it couldn’t be just anyone. Ponies die all the time in Manehatten, the city that I moved away from not long ago. Noone ever posted guards for those forgotten ones.
The minute I stepped into the morgue’s chilled steel-wall room, I knew who died simply by the multi-colored tail drooping over the edge of the table.
A white sheet had covered the body, but not for my sake. Wobbly stomachs will only hinder this line of work. Half the students at my old medical school drop out after having to dig into a cadaver further than a few inches. This wasn’t my first time at the rodeo, however.
When I moved to Ponyville, I was struck by how calm the place was at night. You didn’t have to worry about getting sliced like a bagel for your horseshoes.
Manehatten has a murder occur every five minutes. A fatal accident every half-hour or so. I’ve had to do autopsies on burn victims, ponies with crowbars still shoved into their brains, even a griffin that was beaten to death so bad, his ribs punctured his lungs. I once had a stallion who was somehow forced to drink a few gallons of battery acid. His dissolved gut looked like a cherry pie that had been trampled by tap-dancers.
The eyes of the dead can only stare at you. All you can do is ignore them and do your job. Just concentrate on figuring out the how,where and when of their deaths. The why and the who-did-it were other matters for the detectives.
The sheet was pulled away by my assistant Flashbulb, a red earth pony with a camera cutie mark. Flashy, as I sometimes called him, wasn’t the type to get green-cheeked when somepony comes in here in a gooey or crumpled state.
I could only stare at the cyan-furred body. Flashy forgot himself, tears beading in his eyes. What lay before us went beyond anything I had seen in years. Cruel wasn’t the word I was searching for. Horrible could describe what I had to deal with when somepony stepped in front of the Ponyville train. This went ten miles beyond horrible.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, finding my calm place. Just do your job, I told myself. Do whatever you can to help catch her killer. Help the dead. Don’t let any details slip past you.
Opening my eyes, I said, “Flash, are you up to this?”
“Y-yeah. I’m sorry, I’m not a newbie at this but...it’s Rainbow Dash.”
“I know.”
“One of the Mane Six. She helped fight back that dragon attack on Ponyville a few months ago.”
“Yes, I read about that in Manehatten. I know about all of her heroics. This is going to be hard for both of us, but we still have to do this. For her. For her friends and family. For everyone.”
Flashbulb sniffed as he checked his camera-light. “Morty, I know all that. You don’t have to give me a speech.”
I nodded, went to a nearby table and turned on the tape recorder. The microphone over the autopsy table was close enough so that I didn’t have to raise my voice. I said the time, current date and our names. Then came the hard part.
A sun-flare of light. Ghost-images burned into my vision as Flash took his pictures.
Peering closer at her head, I continued. “Fur color: Cyan. Mane colors: red, vermillion, gold, green, blue and violet. Weight: eighty pounds. Height, five feet.”
I stuck a thermometer into her chest. The warmer the body, the fresher the kill. Close to normal temperature. She had to have died about an hour ago.
“Occupation: Ponyville weather patrol. External examination. Both cutie marks have been removed. The epidermis has been cut by a small, sharp blade. Damage to lateral surface indicates that a larger blade was used to remove cutie marks from the body.”
Another flash. The bloodied patches on her legs looked black for a moment.
“Both wings are missing, cut off at axillaries. Damage in both wing-humerus indicate a multi-bladed instrument was used to tear both flesh and bone. Possibly a steak-knife or hack-saw.”
Something about those wounds tickled something in the back of my mind. I shook away the search. Stick with the here and now, I chided myself.
“Facial and cranial skin of subject has been removed. Eyelid skin remains on head. Incisions from chin along both jaw lines to back of head. There is a slight indentation and bruising on the back of the head. Probable cause, blow with large object. ”
Examining her legs, I noticed severe rope burns around all the hooves. She struggled. Probably till the end, too. Poor girl.
“Lividity on back and buttocks suggest the body was killed in one place and then dumped in another.”
I adjusted Dash’s body so she lay flat on her back. Spreading her legs, I peeled apart the large, blood-encrusted slit that went from her lower ribs to her crotch. Congealed blood streamed between the skin-flaps. I could see the ridges of her spine and ribs. Her scooped-out gut reminded me of Nightmare Night pumpkins after a few hours of candle-heat.
“Internal examination. Abdominal wall has been cut in an I-shape. The heart, both lungs,liver, stomach, both kidneys and the spleen have been removed. Large and small intestine, small colon and bladder are also absent. Sexual organs are still intact.”
Looking around the slit’s ridge, I spotted something half-buried in the blood-sludge. Using tweezers, I pulled it carefully from the body. It was a single hair. Pink.
“Foreign object found. Placing in evidence bag.”
A few more pictures of her hollowed body, and we were ready to wrap this up.
“Cause of death. Severe blood loss and removal of vital organs. Manner of death. Homicide.”
Yeah, that much was obvious. I had to keep those comments off the tapes, however. I couldn’t allow myself to get emotionally involved with this.
“Toxicology reports are forthcoming, but examination reveals that Rain....the subject’s body was knocked out, bound in a remote location, skinned and then gutted. This homicide appears to almost be ritualistic in manner. Equus Mortis, chief medical examiner, Ponyville morgue, signing off.”
After Flashbulb put Rainbow Dash’s body in storage, he asked me, “Morty? What you said a few minutes ago, about her being ritually killed? What made you think that?”
“It’s just a guess, Flashy. I’m not sure of anything at this point.”
“I hope you’re able to find out something soon. Once this report goes out, Princess Celestia and the rest of the Mane Six will be demanding answers.”
“I know." In spite of how harrowing it was to have to examine a local hero’s body, I was beginning to feel like I was swimming through freshly-poured concrete. I only had three hours of sleep, after all.
When I left the hospital, I noticed the sun peeking over the mountains. Another sunny day was beginning. But not for Rainbow Dash. Her sunny days were over. Someone ended them.
One pink hair was all the evidence I could find. I hoped I could find more than that later on. Only someone close to Rainbow Dash could have gotten the drop on her so easily to have knocked her out with one blow.
And then slowly, mercilessly tore her apart in a manner that was more familiar to me than I let on to Flashbulb or anyone outside my family.
Rainbow wasn’t just murdered. She was sacrificed. To Nightmare Moon.
We are all haunted. I don’t mean we have specters floating around us, wiggling their hooves and going “Oogly oogly oooh”, I mean that our deeds and memories stay with us long after the fact. They drift away, then come back unexpectedly.
My father, Ivory Mortis, a white earth pony with crossbones cutie marks, told me at a very young age what happened to my absent mother.
“You killed her, Equus,” he said, matter-of-factly.
When tears began to dribble down my cheeks, my dad held up a hoof. “I don’t mean that you meant to kill her. I’m simply saying that her heart gave out giving birth to you.”
“Why?” I hollered, my heart getting shoved into a bucket of nails. “Why did mama have to die!”
“Death is our life, my little Equus. That’s our family motto. Death follows everyone, but people like us welcome that.”
“I don’t understand,” I whimpered, wiping my nose.
“You will, in time. You will understand, as I now do, that life is full of inadequacies and prejudices. In death, everyone is an equal. Your mother, my dear, sweet Marrow, now walks with her ancestors, now sits at the right hoof of Nightmare Moon.”
Dad pulled a large leather book off a nearby shelf. When he opened it in his lap, the leather creaked. He showed me wood carvings of ponies in ancient ceremonial robes. “The Mortis family is very old, over a thousand years, in fact. We have always helped the living cope with the passing of loved ones with our skills as morticians. Over the centuries, we have branched out into similar fields. I help the local Manehatten police with my skills as a coroner, for example.”
My tears forgotten for the moment, I asked, “Really? You catch any bad guys?”
Father smiled at me, proud of my curiosity. “No, Equus. Not personally. Contrary to what certain pony-dreadful crime magazines will tell you, we do not personally seek those that kill others. We stay in the background and let the real soldiers do the fighting. We clean up the mess the world leaves behind, that’s all.”
Dad turned a page. There was another engraving of a pony that was spread-eagled and tied to a large table. There were wings in a nearby bowl. Dark blotches dribbled where the pony’s...no, the pegasus’s wings and cutie marks used to be. As crude as the picture was, as lop-sided as the perspective appeared to be, even I knew that those same robed ponies from the previous page were pulling this bound and tortured pegasus apart.
Pointing at the horrors, I asked, “Dad, why are those ponies doing that?”
He looked at the drawing. A sentimental smile came and went. I almost missed it. Dad seemed lost in the scene’s history. Looking at me, he thought for a moment. Even then, at a colt’s age, I could tell he was trying to put some kind of spin on the slaughter.
Closing the book, a bit suddenly, he said, “I’ll tell you later. But only if you hoof-swear to never tell anyone else what you saw.”
Father held up a hoof, waiting for me. I planted my right hoof in his and said, “I, Equus Mortis, do hoof-swear to never tell anypony about what I just saw.”
Good at his word, he told me everything that book contained later. Much later. A week before he killed himself.
A few days had passed since Dash’s murder. Somepony named Gabby Gums ran an article in the Foal Free Press naming me as the one who did the autopsy on her. Since it’s illegal for me to spill anything about the case to anyone save the police, I had to keep quiet about what I saw. Some Rainbow Dash fans even demanded that I tell them who killed her. A few nose-to-nose confrontations like that, and I started to buy my groceries at night, to avoid the crowds.
While this miserable business was going on, I had gone over the toxicology reports with Flashbulb. There was an enormous amount of adrenaline in her blood. Rainbow Dash was kept awake during her torture and murder. She was probably forced to watch as her guts were getting ripped out.
Something about that bugged me. I have heard Rainbow Dash yell in anger. If she was killed out in the open, the entire town would have heard her screaming and come running. She was killed somewhere with thick walls, maybe even in a cellar.
There was that one single pink pony hair that I found. Problem is, there are several pink ponies in this town. I had other work to do, so I couldn’t keep track of the investigation.
A city guard walked into the morgue as I was talking to Flashy. It was the same guard that woke me up the last time. For a brief moment, I thought that there was another murder.
“Come with me,” the guard said. “Princess Celestia requests an audience with you.”
A request from anypony else would have resulted in a brush-off-I’m-too-busy from me. But when the most powerful being in the known world wants a word with you, you comb your mane, pop a breath-mint, and get in Celestia’s sky-chariot.
I’m an earth pony. I’m not used to having my hooves leave the ground any longer than it takes for me to get out of bed. When the two pegasus castle guards pulled the chariot up and over Ponyville, I almost passed out. Dead bodies? Pah. Flying? Eeep.
I was hugging the floor and peeking over the edge. Being careful to not look down, I saw that I was almost at the castle. These guys must have been told to double-time getting me here.
Once they landed in the courtyard, another pair of pegasus guards hustled me into the princess’s throne-room. This was the first time I had ever been this close to royalty, but there was no time for sight-seeing.
I was escorted down the hallway to her throne. Massive stained glass windows filtered the light in a myriad of colors. The light that reflected off of Princess Celestia’s multi-colored mane and tail was just as beautiful. It was easy to see why most ponies worshiped her. She was the biggest equine in the country. Only her sister was as big, but she was exiled to the moon a thousand years ago. Nightmare Moon, according to my father, was a giant among her loyal followers.
Her white body seemed to radiate as she levitated what I recognized as my autopsy reports. Reading over them carefully, I suspect several times, she then passed them onto an assistant who then trotted off. Celestia then looked at me.
I could almost feel her gaze push over my skin, so I bowed. I had never had to that with anyone.
“Hello, Equus Mortis. I’m glad you came on such short notice.” Oh, my. Even her voice glowed.
“I...uh...I just wish that I could come here under more pleasant circumstances.” Recalling my training as a mortician, I added, “I am very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. You seem like a decent sort, in spite of what some ponies have told me. You mentioned in your report that Rainbow Dash was killed in a ritualistic fashion. What did you mean by that?”
My ears twitched. There was an edge in her voice, barely there. But still sharp.
“Well, cutting the cutie marks and wings off a pegasus reduces the identity of that pegasus, making the victim seem more like an object than a person.”
She blinked, leaning forward. “Go on.”
“Well, serial killers have certain select ways to kill their victims. Rituals, if you will.”
“Where do you suppose these monsters get these...rituals?”
She handed me that question as if it were a soap bubble that I didn’t dare pop.
“Well...history isn’t pretty. Maybe somebody sick in the head got some ideas by reading about...the war between you and Nightmare Moon?”
Princess Celestia regarded me for another moment before leaning back. I felt as if a hoof was lifted from my neck.
“Perhaps you are right,” she said. She looked down, her ears drooping. “I hope you are, for I need you to talk to someone who might have studied our ancient history.”
“Who’s that?”
“Rainbow Dash’s killer.”
If a tornado had blown through the courtroom, it might have knocked me over faster than this news, but I doubt it.
“What?”
She frowned. “Don’t you read the newspaper? The news hit the Ponyville express this morning.”
“I’ve been keeping a low profile. Ponies have been getting in my face about the autopsy.”
“Hmm. I doubt that’s an issue anymore. I’m sending you to Manehatten’s Kirkbridle Institute. That’s where they’re keeping her.”
I thought of the pink hair I found. And the fact that only someone close could have gotten the drop on Dash. I was almost afraid to ask.
“It’s Pinkie Pie, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m afraid so. Take the next train to Manehatten. Talk to Pinkie. Get everything you can from her.”
“Er...I don’t want to seem obtuse or, you help me, disobedient, but why are you sending me? I deal with dead people, not the killers that make them.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You know more than you’re letting on.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
She got up from her throne and walked towards me. It took everything scrap of willpower I had to keep from running out of the castle screaming like a filly. Those long white legs filled most of my vision. She stopped in front of me and loomed like a snowy mountain over me.
“When you requested a transfer from Manehatten to Ponyville, I was unconcerned. That is, until I was informed about your father. I am an avid student of history, Equus Mortis. I know about your family’s loyalty.”
I swallowed. Crud. So much for keeping secrets.
She smiled. Just a little, but it made my heart pound a little less harder. “I’m certain that you will find out everything I need to know. Your loyalty is to me, is it not?”
“Yes, ma’am. I mean, your majesty.”
“Good. Guards?”
Two pegasus guards stepped up.
“Escort mister Mortis to the Ponyville train station. Send him on the next train to Mane- hatten.”
She turned back to her throne as I was led out of the courtroom. My mind was buzzing in a dozen different directions, so even the next sky-chariot’s travel to the train station didn’t faze me.
Pinkie Pie? Rainbow Dash’s murderer? The last time I dealt with anything that bizarre was when I visited my father. He was still staying at the same apartment I grew up in. When I unlocked the front door, I saw him in a huge pool of his own blood.
He had sliced his legs open and had cut off his cross-bones cutie marks. While Ivory was bleeding out, he had drawn an ancient symbol on the living room floor. It was a crescent shape with a crude unicorn head drawn into one side. A portrait of the living goddess of night my family once worshipped.
He had been dead for hours. It took hours for me to stop crying, even after the police arrived.
That’s why I fought to get transferred to Ponyville. I wanted to go somewhere quieter, to live in a town that would be kinder than Manehatten. Where ponies aren’t ripped apart. Where fathers don’t end themselves.
Death follows us all. But why (oh why) does death have to follow so close to me? I tried to shake off the self pity as I waited for the Manehatten train.
I bought a newspaper that screamed the headline “PINKIE PIE: KILLER OF RAINBOW DASH”. It would take hours to get to the city and I had plenty of time to read.
We are all haunted. My ghost is my father, who I still find myself yelling at in the darkest, loneliest moments of my solitary life.
And now I was going to visit someone who had a much larger ghost than I.
By the time the train I was on had reached Manehatten, I had read about Pinkie Pie’s murder of Rainbow Dash. What I found interesting was that Pinkie was found under a bridge ten miles away from Ponyville two days after Dash was killed. According to the police report, she apparently jumped off the bridge, but hit a boulder hidden in the river. Her back was probably broken.
Did she feel a sudden surge of remorse over what she did and tried to end it all? I’m no psychiatrist, but I was leaning towards that.
Manehatten had the same frantic hustle as always. Ponyville didn’t have to have ground and air-related police. Getting the pegasi to fly in a straight line like ground traffic was like herding ferrets. Every other street corner reminded me of another murder. A tree in the park made me recall the hanging suicide from a few years back. It’s possible to love a city if you don’t know it too well.
The Kirkbridle Institute is one of the oldest mental institutions in Equestria. It’s self-suffient, nearly escape-proof and armored like a gold depository. Guard towers on every corner, armed with crossbows, to guard against Pegasi escapees. A fifty-hoof high wall surrounded the place. The old-world architecture of spiked rooftops and long thin windows that almost seemed to wink at you made it appear that you were in another world. Appropriate, since the stark-eyed denizens of this place also lived in distant lands.
A grey pegasus with a sword cutie mark flew over to me as I approached the front gate.
“Equus Mortis?” he inquired.
“Yes.”
“I’m Steel Jacket, chief of Kirkbridle security. I’ve been sent to escort you to your assign-ment.”
After I was signed in at the gate entrance, I noticed that several small groups of city police were patrolling the grounds.
“Is all this extra security because of Pinkie Pie?” I asked Steel Jacket.
“Yeah. She’s only been here a little while, but there’s already been dozens of death threats aimed at this place. That’s what happens when you kill a hero. Everyone hates you.”
I only nodded as he led me inside. Polished white tile floors, stained oak paneling. This place almost seemed like a hotel, albeit with shatter-proof glass, stallion guards and thick lock-bolts on all the doors.
“Stay close to me,” said Steel Jacket. “Don’t talk to the patients.”
When we turned a corner, I got my first glimpse of the mad. There were several white mares sitting in a circle, muttering to each other. Their manes were colored in blue and purple bloches (most likely fur-dye).
“I’m Princess Celestia.” one of them said.
“Not likely, as I am the one that raises the sun,” replied the second pony.
A third stamped her hooves impatiently. “You are both mad mares. I and only I am Celestia.”
I trotted past them, studying the pinewood ceiling with vested interest.
One purple pony sat in a corner, rubbing his head back and forth against a grimy wall. He was grumbling, “Add some salt, just a pinch, then you get....add some salt, just a pinch, then you get.....”
He stopped chanting, sensing my presence. The pony wheeled around to stare at me. His eyes were bloodshot, the forehead rubbed bald.
“Wanna help me bake?” he asked, licking his chapped lips. The tip of his tongue, I couldn’t help but notice, had been bitten off.
All things considered, I’d rather have been back at the morgue.
After passing a few more islands of the mentally departed, Steel Jacket led me past another checkpoint. A few more bolted doors later and I was in what a hallway sign designated “Black Area 1”.
“What’s a Black Area?” I asked.
“It’s where the most dangerous patients are placed.” Steel Jacket answered. “We’re almost there.”
“Has Pinkie said anything to anyone?”
“I just run security, buddy. My job’s to keep the nuts in the can, not to listen to them rattle.”
Charming fellow. But then, would I be any less callous? After all, as a mortician, I’ve had to clean up some murder victims that had their eyes and teeth gored out with hammers. Could the pony who did that be less than a few yards from me right now?
If one worked in a place like this for any respectable length of time, how would that influence your daily life after work? Would you be walking down a street, trying to see if any pony you see be as homicidal as the ones you look after? What would be considered tell-tale signs of mad-ness? A twitch in the tail? Not responding to having juice spit in your face? You never could be sure, could you? Not until you’re alone and someone’s hooves reach out to...
I shook my head. Why was this place getting to me? Was it that sobbing coming from one of the cells I was walking past?
“Mama...mama...I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break you....Mama...”
Perhaps it was somepony explaining herself to the walls.
“I had to saw his hooves off. Can’t you understand that? How else could I keep my lover from running away?”
It’s easy to be cynical when all you get to see is the dark and twisted side of people. It didn’t get much darker than in here.
“Okay,” said Steel Jacket. “Here we are.”
He unlocked a door labeled “Interviews”. Inside was a table that was bolted to the floor. A window with bars on the inside was on the opposite wall. Dark green walls and a concrete floor made this room extra gloomy. Why was there only one chair?
“Wait here. I’ll bring her in a minute.”
I sat down and listened to the background drone of crying and growls, which was mercifully dulled by the brick walls. Several minutes passed.
The door clicked open and I looked up. I now understood why I had the only chair.
Pinkie Pie was hoof-cuffed to a wheelchair. Her bright pink poofy hair had gone flatter than week-old beer. A bandage was wrapped tight around her forehead. The pony’s overall pink color had darkened by several shades. She was slumped sideways in her chair, her chin touching her chest.
Bandages were wrapped around her ribs and gut. A wooden brace propped up her back.
At first I thought she was asleep until Steel Jacket, who was pushing the wheelchair, bumped a wheel against a table-leg. Pinkie jerked her head up, hissing through gritted teeth.
“Sorry,” he said, a smirk trembling across his lips.
Her head drooped down again, half-hidden in a curtain of hair. “Doesn’t matter,” she said, with a stone-dull voice.
Steel Jacket locked the wheelchair in place. “She’s all yours, Mortis. Knock on the door when you’re done.”
The pegasus left, slamming the door home.
I looked at her, but her eyes were closed.
“Uhm. Hello.” I wasn’t any good at this. How do I talk to a prisoner?
She opened her eyes. I recognized the bright blue colors from when I saw a much happier Pinkie Pie poinging around Ponyville. What sat before me looked like she was put in a bleach bath for too long.
Pinkie leaned over to one side, wincing in pain. She looked at my cutie mark, then leaned back and sighed. “I know you,” she said. “You moved to Ponyville about a month ago. I never did give you a welcome-to-our-town party, did I?”
“It wouldn’t have worked out. People look at my pony skull cutie mark and they get nervous around me.”
“That makes two of us, then. I heard one intern say that whenever he sees balloons, they’ll remind him of me. What a frickin’ honor.”
“What happened to your head?”
She rubbed her bandage, the cuff-chain rattling. “I happened to it. When I realized what I had done, I tried to bash my brains out on anything harder than my skull. That’s why I feel like a wet towel all the time. They doped me up and chained me so I don’t do that anymore. Because my life is soooo precious.” It was weird seeing this once-bright element of laughter sneer that last sentence.
“Well, that’s why I’m here. I’ve been sent by Princess Celestia to find out what happened.”
“What, don’t you read the paper? That same intern loves waving it under my nose. I killed my best friend. Case closed.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but I need to know everything you can tell me.”
She groaned a little. “Okay. I’ll try. Let’s see...A few nights ago, I was locking the door to Sugar Cube Corner. When I walked away, I looked up at the moon. It seemed a little different, you know?”
“Different how?”
“The Mare in the Moon always looks to her right. Has been ever since Celestia banned Nightmare Moon there a thousand years ago. This time, it seemed like she was looking at me. And I mean me, specifically.”
I sat up, intrigued. “And then what happened?”
She looked confused at the memory. “And then...I took a nap. Next thing I know, I’m lying on some rocks under a bridge. It’s the middle of the day and somepony is screaming.”
“Do you remember what that pony said?”
“Something ahhh, she’s the one blah blah call the police. I didn’t even see who it was. I wasn’t paying much attention because my back started to hurt real bad. But I wasn’t too worried about that because I looked into the river and I didn’t see my reflection.”
“Who did you see, Pinkie?”
“I saw Rainbow Dash. The rainbow hair, the blue fur. I thought she was behind me or something, but when I sat up and looked around, I didn’t see her anywhere. That’s when I realized that my own head felt weird.”
“Go on.”
“I reached up...” She began to tense up, her shoulders lifting. “And felt like tape or some-thing was on my face. I pulled really hard and finally got the whole thing off. When it slipped out of my hooves, I knew what it really was.”
Pinkie was shivering now. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “It was Rainbow Dash’s face! The police and the doctors are telling me that I tied up my best buddy, cut off her cutie marks and wings and then gutted her!”
She tugged at her hoof-cuffs, trying to hug herself. She could only touch her chest as she sobbed. “And then I ripped off her face and wore it like a Nightmare Night mask! I keep telling them that I didn’t do it! Someone else grabbed my brain and made me kill my Dashie!”
I was tongue-tied. She wasn’t in the room anymore. Pinkie Pie was deep in her own memories now. “In the last two nights, I’ve had the same dream. I’m in the storage cellar of Sugar Cube Corner. Dashie is there. She’s tied up, crying and soaked in her own blood. I can hear her say ‘I want to go home.’”
Pinkie banged her hooves on the arm-rests. “Well, I want to go home, too! I want my Dashie back! I want to hold her in my arms! I want to feel her warmth, to hear her breathe! I...I wanna tell her that I love her and that I’d never do anything to hurt her!”
She slumped into her chair, spent. Worn out. “But I can’t have that. I can’t have anything anymore.”
Pinkie sniffed and wiped her nose. Her cheeks were glistening with tears. “Do you know what’s going to happen to me when I die in here? They’re gonna bury me in the back lot with all the other crazies. I don’t even get to have a tombstone. I’ll have a brick with a number on it. That’s all.”
She shook her head. “Everybody hates me now. When I die, all that will be left of me is something the yard crew trips over when they trim the weeds.”
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to help at all. What could I possibly say to any of this?
She stared at me with those bleak eyes. “Listen to me, Mortis.”
I stared right back her. Pinkie continued. “Noone should die like Dashie and noone should live like me. Whoever’s behind this is still out there. Who’s next? Twilight? Rarity? You? I don’t know what you can do, but this has got to stop.”
Her head began to droop down to her chest. She winced as she shifted in her back-brace. All I could think of saying was, “I’ll do my best to fix this.”
“I hope so. Whatever happens, keep in touch. I could use the company.”
I knocked on the door and Steel Jacket escorted me away. Past the murderers and rapists, sidestepping the now seven-strong group of white mares insisting they were the one ruler of Equestria, out into the world of the sane and level-headed.
“Did you find out anything?” asked the pegasus.
“More than I can tell you. Just...take good care of her, okay?”
His right brow shot up as he said, “Huh?”
“She’s more likely to kill herself than anyone else.”
“What, is that skull cutie mark a psychiatrist symbol? You don’t believe her little-miss-innocent routine, do you? Yeah, I was listening in a little this time.”
Sane. Level-headed. Arrogant.
After what Pinkie told me, I now knew, with an iron-ball drop in my gut, that she wasn’t crazy.
I looked at Steel jacket with the tombstone eyes that had given so many Ponyville residents the shivers. “If you recall, I was sent here by Princess Celestia herself. If I tell her that Pinkie Pie is getting abused, someone just might get sent to prison. Do you know what happens to authority figures in prison?”
His tire-sized eyes were locked onto mine. He peeped, “No.”
“I once had to prepare for burial an ex-policepony that died in a prison riot. A few unicorn prisoners surrounded him and horn-jabbed him with so many holes that it took me two days to stitch them closed. They call that death by uni-corn-holing. Awful pun. But appropriate.”
His wings were twitching. Steel wanted so badly to just fly away from the spooky death-pony. But I wouldn’t let him budge just yet. Sweet Alicorn of the sun, it felt good to scare the piss out of a jock. Did I mention I was bullied at school?
I continued. “Pinkie Pie is a very sad, self-destructive mare that needs all the care this facility can muster. She will eat what she wants, when she wants it. She will be allowed outside when she asks. There is an intern that teases her. Get rid of that creep immediately. Am I making myself absolutely, undeniably clear, Steel Jacket?”
“Yep. I mean, yes, sir. Mister Mortis.”
“Wonderful. I’ll be back here soon. I know you won’t disappoint me.”
I walked away from the gate. A few moments later, I heard a frantic pegasus yelping orders.
Sometimes, being a scary bastard can get great results. I had to remember to not make a habit of it, though.
I found myself running to the train-station. The next train to Ponyville was in an hour. Plenty of time to think about something my dad taught me soon before his death.
First the cutie marks are cut off. If it’s an earth pony that’s sacrificed to Nightmare Moon, then the pony’s tendons are severed. The pony cannot run, can only struggle in it’s bonds as all the blood is drained under a moonlit night.
Dad sliced himself up according to ancient instructions. I should know. I’m the one that did the autopsy.
“Blood is life, Equus.” He told me, that same small smile on his face, his eyes not quite focusing on me. “When blood is spilled in the name of love, the magic that comes from such a sacrifice can lend power to beings greater than ourselves. Nightmare Moon loves and rewards her followers, especially those willing to give up anything in her name. Even our friends.”
No wonder my family kept it’s history hidden from the world. My dad, in his own special way, gave Nightmare Moon the power to strike back against the Mane Six before she arrived in full force.
How would Nightmare Moon deal with me? It was a long trip back home. I was bound to take a nap. I shivered in the summer heat as I recalled something else Pinkie told me.
I am alone in the morgue. White floor tiles and cold steel walls.
There is an examination table. A shape under the sheet. The tail draped over the edge has all the colors of any given rainbow. I know who’s under there.
I still feel compelled to look under the sheet, as if doing so would reveal she was still alive. As if the sheet was part of a magician’s show.
The sheet is pulled to the floor. The head’s skin is still missing, the white lateral surface almost looks like cotton fabric. Only the closed eye-lids are still blue.
Blue like the sky of the most beautiful day.
Magenta iris. Black pupil.
She’s staring at me with the largest eyes in the world.
“Hey.” A scratchy voice. I am silent.
Rainbow Dash rises up on her front legs.
“What’s up?”
I step back, my legs rubbery.
“Hey, come on,” she chides. “I thought I was your hero. You could at least say hello.”
Something gets tangled in my hooves. The sheet. I lose my balance and land on my rump.
Rainbow Dash smiles at my pratfall.
“Maybe you should say hello to my friends, too.” She waves a hoof behind me.
I turn to see six examination tables. Six shapes under six sheets.
One sits up. The sheet slides off. It’s the stallion that was forced to drink battery acid until his innards dissolved. He smiles at me. Foam slips out the side of his mouth.
He says, “I was killed because I was hated.”
The pony in the nearest table gets up, pulls off his sheet. An ice pick is stuck in his left eye.
“I was killed because I was loved.”
More ponies revealed themselves. Dried blood. Missing limbs. I remember them all.
“I was murdered for being rich.”
“For being poor.”
“I ate myself to death in my kitchen.”
“I starved to death in a well.”
A blue hoof tapped my shoulder. I turned away from the cavalcade of the departed. Rainbow Dash stood next to me. Her gut-slit had split apart. The shredded lips dangled, dripped dark, oily blood.
“We all have to die, Mortis,” she said. “Why not join us? Your father did. He’s happier now at the right hoof of Nightmare Moon than you ever could be in the living world.”
She walked past me. Hoof-bumped the ice pick pony. “Noone loves you, Equus. Not any more. In the eyes of Nightmare Moon, all the dead are equal. Death only means misery under Princess Celestia’s rule.”
Rainbow Dash giggled. “When she takes her rightful place on the throne, we’re all going to come back. Pinkie Pie will be so happy to see me, she’ll scream for joy.”
I blinked. Pinkie Pie. The name snapped me out of my dream-trance. I stood up and kicked the sheet away.
“I know it’s you, Nightmare Moon.”
The pegasus smiled paternally. “Such a clever boy. Your family would be proud of you. After a thousand years of building up my strength, I’m ready to return your family to it’s former glory. No more hiding our history from prying eyes. No more shame of our glorious heritage.”
“There’s nothing glorious in me losing my father.”
She frowned. “We all have to make sacrifices for the greater good. Ivory did consider sacri-ficing you to me, you know. He even picked out the knifes to cut your tendons and cutie marks with. But I convinced him to wait.”
I swallowed, trying to hide my shock. “Why? Not that I’m glad to have been spared.”
“Because any father can sacrifice his son. But true commitment to a cause requires paying the ultimate price. When your father bled out and his heart began to stop, he begged me to end him.”
Her eyes drifted up towards the ceiling as she savored the memory. “But I wasn’t strong enough to do that. Not that I would have. It had been so long since I had seen so much blood, I only wanted to watch.”
Thanks for bringing that up, I thought. I really needed another flashback to the worst day of my life. One of the worst, anyway.
“His pain ended, as all pain does. As your pain will. It is blood, given in my name, that gives me strength. It’s not just friendship that’s magic, it’s many things. Blood. Agony. Fear. They all have power. You’ll understand once you’re reunited with your family.”
“You think I’ll join you after all the damage you’ve caused? One of my heroes is dead and the other wishes she died under that bridge.”
Nightmare Moon rubbed Dash’s chin, pondering what I said. “It’s funny you should say that. I wanted her to kill so many more ponies, but she resisted me enough to jump off the bridge. She thought that stunt could end my possession of her, but she gave herself a much worse fate. I let her remember the last thing her former lover said before Pinkie took Dash’s face.”
“Lover?” I was stunned, as if smacked with a stick.
“When Dash got her wings sawn off, she asked Pinkie if she was getting killed out of jealous rage. Seems Pinkie and Dashie blended petals for a small while. Rainbow Dash is...oops, so sorry...was quite the filly-fooler. I wonder if Pinkie Pie tasted like cotton candy?"
She snickered. “I also wonder if Dash’s new bed-squeaker Applejack tasted like apples, but I get bored easily. Living on the moon for a thousand years can do odd things to your head. I just wanted Pinkie to do something funny to Rainbow Dash’s head, as well as her own, to keep me amused.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you’re doomed to fail if you resist me. The Mane Six needs all six members to make their Elements of Harmony work together in order to stop me. Even if you try to take up the slack, they’ll never trust you. Not with your history.”
She stepped towards me. I couldn’t move. I could almost feel her hooves digging into my mind. “You belong to me, little death-pony. You were mine the minute you were born. The harder you try to fight me, the sweeter the victory over you will be.”
My vision began to blur. The corpses behind her began to sway like trees in the wind. “Be my enemy if you choose. Maybe you’ll take longer to bleed to death than your father.”
I could hear other sounds swirling around me as she said, in a distant whisper, “But I doubt it.”
“Hey, buddy!” barked someone.
My eyes flashed open. I saw several ponies staring at me. None were happy with what they saw. The one that woke me was the the train conductor. He was frowning at me as if I had burped in his face.
“You okay, mister?” asked the conductor.
Shaking the dust from my mind, I nodded.
I said, “Why’s everyone staring at me?”
“We thought we heard you talking to, well...” his eyes drifted away from me.
“Nightmare Moon?” I guessed.
“Well, yeah. You were pretty loud. Some colts got scared and the parents got me to wake you.”
I looked over the conductor’s shoulder and gave my audience a weak-tea smile. “It’s all right, folks. I ate a lot of spicy food before nodding off. I just had a weird dream, that’s all.”
The critical stares drifted away and so did the conductor. I looked out the railcar window and recognized a few houses in the hills. It would be about a half-hour until I reached Ponyville. Plenty of time to organize a report of my findings for the Princess.
My mother died birthing me.
My father killed himself, after considering sacrificing me.
If this is what being a Mortis amounted to, then my family can go live on the moon forever.
I wondered what the real Rainbow Dash was making of all this, wherever she was. I wasn’t anxious to ask her anytime soon.
It’s just about everypony’s dream to meet the Mane Six. Rainbow Dash was always my favorite. Since I’m the alone-in-a-crowd type, I always admired her ability to have a gaggle of friends and fans any place she touched down at. She wore her heart on her sleeve and always spoke her mind.
Me? In my job, I put hearts in specimen jars and keep my head down.
Rainbow Dash could fly faster than any pegasus I had ever seen. Clouds spun at her command. Rain stopped and started on her whims.
I jog a mile and I need to take a nap. When it’s raining, and I have to be at a funeral, all I can do is put on a raincoat and watch the final farewells in the most melodramatic setting available.
And now she was gone.
I was getting off the train from Manehatten. The two pegasus guards that flew me from the castle were waiting for me. No surprise there.
When I rode their sky-chariot a half-mile into the sky again, I tried to not shut my eyes this time. That vivid dream-visit from Nightmare Moon still burned in my eyes. I could almost feel her sitting next to me. I just kept studying the sunny skies and the bright summer colors of the mountains, as if they could warm the chill in my bones.
As soon as my hooves touched the castle courtyard, I was whisked to Princess Celestia’s throne room. Just like the last time. I hoped that eventually I could take a simple stroll down these ancient halls.
This time Celestia had the remaining members of the Mane Six and that small purple and green dragon I saw once or twice. Only the princess smiled as I approached.
Applejack looked at me with suspicion. Fluttershy only glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes. Twilight Sparkle gave me one of those forced bank-teller smiles. Rarity tilted her head as she saw my pony skull cutie mark. I felt like I had just stumbled into the mares restroom.
“Wow,” said the dragon. “so you’re the pony that examined Rainbow Dash, huh?”
“Yes. I am very sorry for your loss....Spike, isn’t it? I know that she was a great friend to you all.”
“Is that what they teach y’all to say at funeral school or wherever yer from?” asked Applejack.
“That’s right. But I’m serious. I...”
“How’s Pinkie Pie?” inquired Twilight. “How are they treating her?”
“They’ll be treating her better than they have been after I dropped Celestia’s name. She’ll be all right, given her circumstances.”
The princess raised an eyebrow and smiled.
Rarity asked, “Is it true, then? She really murdered Rainbow Dash?”
“Yes, but it’s not as simple as that. Believe me. I’ve found out a lot in the last few hours.”
“Tell us everything, Equus,” Celestia requested. She leaned down and added, “And I mean every single detail.”
I sighed. I was about to tell the heroes of this country everything I had been trained my whole like to never reveal to anyone. But my parents are dead. Which means no more family obli-gations. So why did I have such a hard time opening my mouth?
“There’s something you have to understand about my family. A thousand years ago, during the war between Nightmare Moon and Celestia, my family fought alongside the mare of the night. We swore an oath of loyalty to her by killing the friends of her followers. Depending on whether they were earth ponies, pegasi or unicorns, they were sacrificed in a certain way to maximize their bloodshed and agony. Not just physical agony, but the betrayal of being killed by a friend.”
Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered. Applejack looked like she was going to kick my teeth into my ears. Oh, this is why I was reluctant to spill this. In spite of my looks and profession, I really don’t like upsetting people.
Twilight shook her head. “Why? What was the point behind this slaughter?”
“Well, my dad explained to me that blood is life. When that blood is spilled to honor Nightmare Moon, it gives her power. Pain does the same thing.”
“Princess, you know I’ve studied Equestrian history,” said Twilight. “I have never read about these hideous rituals.”
Celestia replied, “That’s right. You haven’t. It’s no accident that you haven’t. After I exiled my sister, I made sure that all records of the rituals were destroyed. And that all known followers of Nightmare Moon were either jailed or, if they killed, executed.”
The mares all turned to Celestia, bug-eyed.
“Are you kiddin’ me?” said Applejack.
“I don’t understand!” Twilight cried. “Why would you wipe out our history? Shouldn’t people know how terrible the past was?”
“Normally, I’d say yes, Twilight,” replied the Alicorn. “However, Equus is right. Blood and pain, if...procured in just the right way, can generate magic that my sister could use to get back to Equestria much sooner than she could on her own. I can’t allow knowledge that dangerous to be known by anypony.”
Applejack asked, “So, Mortis, yer sayin’ that yer family fought against Celestia, but then went underground, right?”
“That’s true. If my father told me the truth, no more sacrifices were made ever since. The skills my family learned from torturing ponies to death served us well in the mortuary and coroner fields. We know where all the bones and body parts are, after all.”
Rarity snorted. “It must be so wonderful to have inherited such intricate knowledge.”
“What the heck does any of this have to do with Pinkie Pie?” asked Spike.
Oh, crud. I really dreaded this part. For a brief flash, I saw my father in a pool of his own blood. And then I thought about how that might have been me.
“My father figured that if he sacrificed himself to Nightmare Moon, then his bloodshed would give Nightmare Moon the power to do what she wanted. In this case, it was to mind-control Pinkie Pie.”
I raised a hoof at Twilight as she opened her mouth to protest. “This is based on what Pinkie told me, okay? Just let me finish. With Pinkie in her thrall, she tracked down Rainbow Dash, knocked her out, dragged her away to the cellar in Sugar Cube Corner and well...did what my family did thousands of times a thousand years ago.”
Fluttershy began to sob. Rarity ran over to comfort her. Applejack looked even more furious.
“Then Nightmare Moon made Pinkie dump Dash’s body in the middle of town to make sure it was found. After that, Pinkie tried to regain control, but Moon was too strong, especially with Rainbow’s blood and pain giving her even more power. Pinkie ran out of town and jumped off a bridge, to end Moon’s grip on her.”
Twilight added, “But she didn’t die. Is it true that Pinkie’s back is broken?”
“I suspect that it is. She was in a wheelchair with a back-brace. Pinkie’s not possessed by Nightmare Moon anymore. She doesn’t need to be. The Mane Six is down two members, so now there’s nothing to stop her from trying to take over Equestria again.”
“You are far too cynical, Equus,” said Princess Celestia. “It was the Mane Six that ended Nightmare Moon’s reign. There has always been a Mane Six in every era, hand-picked by me, to defeat any threat to Equestria.”
Spike smiled. “Wait a second. That’s why you wanted me here. Well, I suppose I can wield the Element of Loyalty.”
“Actually, no.” Celestia countered. “Equus is doing that.”
I flinched even before Applejack hollered, “Say WHAT?”
Rarity stammered, “Celestia, I have never doubted your decisions before, but haven’t you taken a giant leap from your senses?”
“That’s like trustin’ a rattlesnake to take care of yer chickens!”
Twilight stared at me, as if I had just suddenly phased into the room. Then she looked very thoughtful for a moment.
“Girls?” Twilight said.
Applejack and Rarity stopped spitting venom at me the instant Twilight chimed in.
“Princess Celestia knows what she’s doing. It’s true that Equus Mortis’s ancestors did a lot of terrible things, but that doesn’t guarantee he will. After all, he could have just run off into the Evergreen Forest right after Rainbow Dash’s murder, but he didn’t. Equus might have hidden in Manehatten instead of talking to Pinkie Pie, but he instead did what Celestia asked.”
Twilight looked at me with pity. “I’m sorry about your father. It must be hard for you.”
“Not as hard as it might have been. Dad was originally going to sacrifice me instead, but Nightmare Moon told him not to.”
“How do yew know this?” asked Applejack. “Did your daddy leave a suicide note or somethin’?”
“No. I was sleeping on my trip back here and Nightmare Moon paid me a little visit. She told me what my father was going to do to me.”
I sat on the floor, suddenly feeling very tired. Going over dad’s initial plans for me once more finally made them hit home. When a father plots to kill his own son...
“My father was a five star flankhole. Him and Nightmare Moon deserve each other. I’m looking forward to sending them both to the moon.”
I sniffed. Had I been crying? “I’ve dedicated my life to cleaning up the mess the world leaves behind. I guess it’s now time to clean up the mess my dad left behind. He once told me that we Mortis family members don’t personally seek those that kill others. I am not my family. Not any more.”
Even Applejack softened up. Rarity looked down at her hooves.
“I’ve been beastly to you, Equus,” said Rarity. “I’m sorry.”
“One thing I’m a little curious about,” pondered Twilight. “Why did your father wait until recently before serving Nightmare Moon?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Why did he wait this long? Nightmare Moon was going to come back in a few more years under her own power. Why did he feel the need to shed his blood for her now? Why not stay alive?
If all of her followers were coming back with her, I guess I’ll get a chance to ask him.
“Family’s a big issue with me,” replied Applejack. “Yer not the only one here that lost their parents. Guess that element of Loyalty is meant for yew, after all.”
“I’ll try to not let you folks down,” I said.
Celestia’s horn glowed as she unrolled a large map of Equestria in front of her. “My sister will likely be at the place she was banished. She always was sentimental. It’s our old castle about two miles inside the Everfree Forest.”
A quill was levitated by the Princess. It floated over to the map and tapped a small drawing of ruins. “It’ll be nightfall soon. I can feel Lun...Nightmare Moon’s power growing from here. When the moon rises, she’ll be able to leave it. It’s best if you six are at the castle to greet her.”
Applejack gave a venomous grin. “And beat her.”
The map was whisked away. A jeweled case was floated over, the lid swinging open. There they were, the Elements of Harmony. I never thought I’d be this close to these magic items. I had done autopsies on ponies killed by magic, but I had never fired a weapon in my life, magic or otherwise.
Twilight used her magic to plant her star-crown on her head. The others pulled their respective elements out and put them on.
The dragon put his new Element of Laughter around his waist, since it kept slipping off his head. Resting on his scaly gut, the thing looked like a clown wrestler’s champion belt. It was perfect for him.
I peered inside at the remaining Element. That red rainbow bolt-jewel looked so beautiful. It felt wrong for me to even look at it too long. And yet, oddly enough, I began to realize that if I was going to avenge Rainbow Dash, I might as well use her weapon against her killer.
With a smile, I put on the Element of Loyalty. I could feel a slight electric charge running through my body, making my muscles twitch for a moment. The metal felt warm on my chest.
I looked at the others all decked out in their glamorous war-gear. I’ve dodged bullies at school with my tombstone stare, but I’ve never been in an actual fight in my life.
“Princess Celestia?” I asked. “How...er...how do I use this thing?”
Celestia explained, “The Elements of Harmony are unique in that they have different effects for different foes. Some get turned into stone, a few get their powers removed. My sister is too powerful for that to happen to her, so the elements use their combined power to banish her to the moon, while draining her magic to fuel the trip there.”
Twilight said, “I figure we have to be at least thirty hooves from her in a tight-knit group for the elements to fire all at once.”
“Oh,” I said, in a small voice. Thirty hooves? Dad used to tell me Nightmare Moon could vaporize ponies with her alicorn magic from five times that distance. Now I really felt like a dorky fanpony with Rainbow Dash’s Element of Loyalty around my neck. What chance did I have against her? What...
“Hey, partner,” said Applejack. “Yew look a little jelly-legged there. Don’t worry, Ah’ll watch yer back.”
Rarity said, “We look out for each other in our missions, Mortis. You’ll be all right.”
“So it’s just point and shoot?” I asked. “Well, what could go wrong? A-heh. Let’s do this.”
To my surprise, Applejack gave me a friendly nudge. “That’s the spirit. Yer gonna do fine.”
Celestia said, “I’ll summon some sky-chariots to get you to the edge of the Everfree Forest. There are too many trees around the castle itself to land any closer.”
Fluttershy piped up. “I’ll help guide us through. I’ve been in the forest many times, so I know where most of the paths are.”
“Great!” replied Twilight. “Well, everypony, it’s time to go.”
I followed them, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Here we go, tiddly-pom, off to the war. Fortune favors the bold, the old saying goes. But how brave have I been, really? All I’ve done so far is be true to my word with Celestia. I also have had strange conversations with a pony that had a broken back and spirit and an ancient sociopathic despot. But none of that made me a hero.
If I really wanted to avenge Rainbow Dash, I had to dig much deeper into myself than I ever had. Being with the Mane Six, I didn’t feel like a champion, I felt like a paper cut-out. A stand-in for someone much more qualified for this job.
Yet Celestia believed in me. I had to hang onto that. All my life, I’ve creeped ponies out without even trying. Apart from my work-partner, Flashbulb, I have no real regular contacts in my meager little life. With no regular friends, how often did anyone ever really place much value on me?
That belief the princess had in me wasn’t just given, I realized as I climbed into one of the sky-chariots. It was earned by what I had done so far. But I had to be steady if I wanted to keep on earning that belief.
The Everfree Forest was getting closer as we all set out to war. I wasn’t the new Rainbow Dash. I wasn’t the new anything. I was just me. Problem is, I had to become far more than that if I was going to survive this night.
I just hoped that death, which was my family’s life, wouldn’t follow me too closely.
The Everfree Forest, it is said, has it’s own rules. Animals run wild and free here. Strange beasts are seen in the shadows. All of the world’s monsters, it is said, come from here. Tell that to any coroner or mortician. There are plenty of hidden monsters in any city.
We were strangers here. Even in the middle of the day, this place terrified most ponies. I don’t know how someone like Fluttershy was able to explore the maze of half-hidden trails and ages-old shrubbery without freaking out.
Rarity and Twilight used their unicorn levitation to pull apart the foliage that would otherwise had stopped us.
When we finally broke away from the clusters of trees and walked out into an open field, we spotted the vine-smothered, dilapidated castle in the distance. A silvery light began to glow over a hill. The moon was rising, but the surface was stark white. The Mare in the Moon was gone.
We kept close together as we trotted out into the field. As the moon rose higher, fog seemed to boil up from the ground.
“It’s gettin’ chilly out here,” said Applejack.
“Equus?” said Twilight.
I walked over to her and replied, “Yes?”
“When Nightmare Moon visited you in your dream, did she say what she was going to do?”
“Well, she talked about bringing back her followers.”
Fluttershy asked, “Why would she do that?”
I shrugged. “Loyalty is a big deal with her. My dad’s sacrificing of himself is what led to this whole mess. Her followers, once they get back to the land of the living, will be just as dedicated to massacring her enemies now as they were a thousand years ago.”
Rarity sidled up to Twilight. “How much time do you think we have before she can raise her army?”
“Ask Equus.” Twilight turned to me. “Did your father tell you anything that could help us?”
“I may have worked with the dead my whole life, Twilight, but I’ve never had to fight them. When I dig around in a body, I don’t have to worry about them hitting me. All I can suggest is to just get to Nightmare Moon before she gets a chance to do anything.”
Fluttershy gestured at the fog and said, “Who’s that?”
I looked at where she was pointing. About twenty hooves ahead of us, a shadow flickered. I heard hoof-beats. A silhouette formed. The hair looked familiar.
We all stopped.
“Hey, girls,” a phlemy voice gurgled.
Applejack whispered, “No...”
She stepped out of the fog.
Rarity wrinkled her nose in disgust as she said, “Oh, please say you’re kidding.”
It looked like Rainbow Dash. For a moment. But then we saw the milky pupils and the drooping skin that sagged around the eyes and joints. Rust-colored dried blood stained her wingless back and flanks. The white epidermis around her skinned head glistened with fog-dew. She looked like her body was left out in the rain for a few days.
When she spoke, drool tapered down her lips. “Ain’t you happy to see me? It’s good to be back!” It sounded like she was gargling a huge spit-wad.
Fluttershy clutched the ground with a squeak. Applejack growled, giving the not-Dash the same stink-eye she once gave me.
Twilight demanded, “Don’t come any closer. We know it’s not really you.” She looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “Right?”
What could I tell her? How do I analyze a living nightmare like this? It was bad enough seeing my deceased hero walking and talking in my sleep. This was almost too much to take.
“R-right.” I said. “It’s Nightmare Moon. She’s just messing with us.”
The not-Dash laughed, a blob of spittle dropping off her chin. “Now is that any way to talk to your fave pegasus, Morty?”
She took a few steps towards Applejack, eyes slitted, grimy teeth showing. “Hey, Appleclit? Why are you still hanging with these losers? Come with me and we’ll muff-dive each other into a foamy lather. You know, just like four days ago? Before Pinkie and I had a little...talk?”
“Shut up,” Applejack seethed. “Just shut the buck up right now.”
“Oooh, don’t act like you don’t still want it. What was that cute little nickname you gave me? Oh, yeah!” She wiggled her sagging, rotting flanks. “Rainbow Sploosh.”
I saw a warning purple glow from Twilight’s horn. “Get out of here...whatever you are!”
“I get it. You girls are still uptight about what Pinkie Pie did to me. It’s okay. It didn’t hurt at all.” She turned her head completely behind her with a twig-snap of her neck. “Not even when she sawed my wings off.”
Fluttershy whimpered, “Go. Just go.”
The not-Dash whipped her head forward and stood up on her hind legs, revealing the blood-encrusted slit in her belly. “I’m telling you girls, I’m all right. Pinkie is such a kidder. She didn’t torture me to death. As a matter of fact, she just tickled me!”
She grabbed the skin flaps and spread them apart like a skirt. “Why, I laughed so hard, I literally bust a gut!”
Equines can’t vomit. When everyone couldn’t help but stare at the slimy, hollow interior of the not-Dash, I could hear a few of my companions dry-heave.
I heard Spike say, in a shaky voice, “Dude, that’s creepy.”
Applejack stamped her front hooves and charged the creature. “That’s it!” She yelled, “Ah’m kickin’ yer ass!”
Twilight hollered, “AJ! No, stop!”
Applejack ran straight through the not-Dash as if the apparition were smoke.
“Can’t wait to dig your way into all my holes again, huh, Appleclit?” teased the not-Dash. “I got a nice, big, gooey one for you right here!” She wiggled her gut-skins at Applejack, snicker-ing.
The brown pony turned and dashed back at her target, yelling “Stop callin’ me that!”
I had to put a stop to this. I may not know anymore about ghosts than anyone else, but I knew this specter was just wasting our time. I ran through the not-Dash, a sudden shiver shaking every inch of me.
Applejack slid to a halt in the wet grass. “Git outta th’ way!”
“AJ, this thing is just keeping us distracted. It’s not Rainbow Dash, it’s just one of Nightmare Moon’s projections.”
A cold cheek rubbed up against mine. I looked at the not-Dash who was now on all fours again. White eyes filled my view. “Oh, I’ll be anything you want me to be, sweet little Equus. All you have to do is wait a teensy bit longer for your family’s master to gain full strength. Then you, me and Applesnack over there will have a threesome.”
She chuckled, a slimy gurgle bubbled in her mouth, as she added, “It’ll be the only way you’ll ever get laid.”
Not for the first time, I wondered what in the world did Dad ever see in Nightmare Moon. Ivory sacrificed himself for this?
I snorted as I said, “You’re not real.”
She leaned into my ear and whispered, “Your father is. He’s waiting for you in the castle.”
In an eye-blink, the not-Dash blipped out of existence in a puff of pale blue mist.
Applejack took a few deep breaths, calming herself. She pawed the ground, ears drooped. “Ah’m sorry about that, Equus. Ah just lost mah temper.”
I lowered my voice as I walked with Applejack back to the group. “Nightmare Moon’s really getting the hang of messing with us, isn’t she? In my dream, she told me you and Dash were lovers. I just kept that out of my briefing with the princess.”
Applejack blushed a little and smiled. “Yew know somethin’? Yer all right.”
Rarity was nuzzling Fluttershy. “It’s all right, dear. The ghost is gone.”
“That thing was sent here to rattle our cages,” said Twilight. “Let’s go return the favor.”
We set out again. The fog was getting colder, but I doubt anyone cared. In fact, the closer the castle was, the faster we all trotted.
The castle court-yard’s stone floor was cracked along the brick-work. Vines and shrubs were slowly winning the war against all things pony-made. In a few more decades, the castle would be devoured by the everfree forest.
Past the fallen, shattered support pillars was the entrance. The fog began to clear as we all went inside. We ran down the hallway, past the decayed paintings, the water-damaged carpets and the broken furniture. This place, in it’s hey-day, must have been as glorious as Princess Celestia’s current home.
We turned a corner and saw a lone white pony standing in a large atrium, a large beam of moonlight making him glow. The overhead glass ceiling had long since had all its glass shattered and powdered on the floor.
Twilight demanded, “Who are you?”
“I am one of the faithful,” replied the pony, with the same small smile I had seen since my childhood. “And you are my enemy.”
I swallowed and grit my teeth. I had never been so scared to see my father. “Dad, this is just between you and me.”
“No, little Equus. This has nothing to do with you at all. It’s about making things right again.”
Seeing my father again, that lake of blood he died in flashed in my mind. My throat began to clench as I said, “I don’t understand! Why did you kill yourself? You left me alone!”
He sighed and shook his head at his wayward son. “You always think it’s about you, don’t you? Did you ever ask me what I wanted?”
“That’s not an answer!” I stamped a hoof.
“When my beloved Marrow died bringing you into this world, I held it against you. Until I realized that our master of the night would return in a few decades, that is.”
“What does Mom have to do with any of this?”
“Not long ago, I meditated, using methods described in our family history book. Those methods helped me talk to Nightmare Moon. I told her that I tried to live without Marrow, but I just couldn’t carry on any longer than I already had.”
He walked around the moonbeam, never taking his eyes off me. “True, I suppressed my grieving by raising you in the old traditions of our family, but when you moved out on your own, the yearning for my wife grew so bad, I had to be with her again. Death may be our life, Equus, but I wanted my wife back. No matter what.”
Dad grinned at me, a gleam in his grey eyes. “Nightmare Moon told me that she would reunite us all in Equestria, but I had to help her first.”
My ears flattened. I scowled as I said, “So you sacrificed yourself. After preparing to kill me!”
“Why do you struggle against life, my son? In death, there are no superiors or inferiors. We will all be equal soon.”
“See, Dad, that’s the difference between you and me. In death, there is no choice in what you’re allowed to be. Or could ever become. You want to run back to the past.”
I gestured to my companions. “I’d rather have the future.”
Applejack smiled a toothy grin at me. Twilight nodded as her horn flared with purple magic again. Spike hopped onto her back, cracking his tiny knuckles. Fluttershy flapped her wings, ready for flight. Rarity scuffed the ground and lowered her head at my father, preparing to charge.
What exactly was I going to do? Kick Dad in the hooves? Did he even have a solid body or was he going to be like the not-Dash and annoy us to distraction?
Dad stopped pacing and looked at me. He shrugged and said, “Very well. My new body should be fully formed by now. I promise to kill you quickly.”
Ivory charged.
There was a research paper on stress that I read once. When a pony has enough adrenaline running through their blood, the pony’s time-sense slows down. The next ten seconds seemed more like a minute.
Applejack side-swiped me out of the way. She leapt, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Twilight opened fire with a purple blast of magic, hitting him in the head.
Spike belched out a blast of green fire, singing his left ribs. Fluttershy flew up and dived, her rear hooves hitting him in the neck.
In spite of that impressive combined attack, Dad still got off a lucky shot. He kicked out his rear right leg and knocked me in the forehead.
The world flipped upside down. Then sideways.
Then the moon shut off.
I opened my eyes.
The floor was black. It was stone grey a moment ago. Slowly, I lifted my head.
Rainbow Dash was sitting on her flanks. Unlike the not-Dash, she looked robust and healthy. Her wings were back along with her cutie marks. She was as colorful as ever, too.
She smiled at me. “Hey,” she said, cheerfully. “What’s up?”
No gurgling voices.
This wasn’t Nightmare Moon’s doing.
That meant...
“Ooh, no!” I cried. I let my head drop to the black floor.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
I looked at her again, bewildered at her question. “Uh, yeah! I failed! Dad killed me and I blew it and...”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Mmm, no. You’re not dead. Not yet, anyway.”
“Huh?”
“You’re just mostly dead. And I’ve been sent here to kick you back into play.”
I got up and walked over to her. I had almost forgotten how vibrant her colors were.
“Listen, Rainbow, there’s something I’ve got to tell you. I know it’ll be hard to believe, but Pinkie Pie was’nt really the one that killed you. She was mind-controlled...”
She held up a hoof, cutting me off. “By Nightmare Moon. I know.”
I did a double-take. “What? You know that? How do you know that?”
“My new boss told me. I have to admit, when I first got here, it took a few hours for me to stop screaming. The last thing I remember was Pinkie peeling the skin off my head.”
Rainbow scratched her head, as if she had fleas. “Now I know what an orange feels like.”
“Not that I mind seeing you, but why are you sending me back?”
“Let’s just say that Celestia isn’t the only heavy-hitter in the playground. My boss doesn’t want Nightmare Moon coming back and taking another dump in the sandbox again. Her ability to raise the dead screws up the balance of the natural and the supernatural.”
“Who’s your new boss?” I asked, looking around the blackness.
“I can’t say. Sorry. But what I can tell you is a message for Pinkie Pie. I know she’s in that mental ward, so I want you to tell her something.”
“Uh...she probably won’t believe anything I tell her about you.”
Rainbow smirked as she replied, “She’ll believe you, if you tell her this.”
She told me. My eyes bugged out.
“Are you sure you want me to say that message?”
“I think that she deserves closure, don’t you? It may be the only comfort she gets until she meets me face to face.”
I rubbed my chin and nodded. “You have a point.”
“Of course I do,” she said with a smug look. She looked me over. “So you’re the new Rainbow Dash, huh? Well, the Mane Six has had weirder members before. I guess you’ll do okay.”
Rolling my eyes, I moaned. “I’m not the new Rain..”
She giggled. “PFFT! Come on, I’m just yanking your chain. A girl’s got have some fun, you know.”
I smiled. Nice to know that she still had a sense of humor. After a quiet moment, I said, “Applejack misses you. Everyone does.”
“Yeah, that’s good to know. Listen, all goofing aside, I don’t think you should tell my friends that you saw me, okay? Pinkie needs my message because of where she is and what she thinks she did. But the others need to move on.”
“I hear you.”
“Good.” She walked over and put her front hooves on my shoulders. “Now hang on. It’s going to get a little bumpy.”
“What do you...”
She shoved me and I flew back like a bottle rocket. The darkness took me again.
Then Applejack was yelling at me.
“Dang it, Equus! Git up! It’s time to engage!”
“Huh?” I replied intelligently as my eyes fought to regain focus.
Applejack grabbed my front hooves and hauled me up onto my rear. She tapped my forehead and I flinched.
“Man, yer daddy gotcha good. Yew ready to go?”
I strained to get back on my feet. My head felt like a hammer had bashed a dent in it. I flinched at the pain ganging up on the backs of my eyes, but I nodded.
“Good. Let’s go. He ran down the hall. Guess we were too much for him.”
As I followed Applejack, I couldn’t help but think that dad was just buying more time for Nightmare Moon.
As it turns out, I was right. We all ran into Ivory again in what must have been the throne room. The ceiling was shattered over the twin thrones. I could see the moon directly beyond.
He was limping, smoke rising from the left side of his body. White fragments drifted from his bloodless, yet painful-looking wounds. I thought I saw bones in his deepest wounds. That gave me an idea on how to fight him.
Behind Ivory was Nightmare Moon, a black-furred Alicorn floating in a blue swirling fog. It looked like she was coalescing, becoming flesh like my dad.
She looked at me with large, furious cat-eyes and screeched, “Ivory, Equus is still alive!”
Dad could only stare at me. “That kick should have killed you.”
“Gee, Dad. I’m so sorry that I disappointed you.”
Moon waved a half-formed hoof at us. “You’ve regenerated enough, my friend. Stop them!”
Ivory charged us again. This time, however, I was ready.
I reared back, keeping track of where his skull and neck-bones were. I couldn’t kill him, I figured, but I could at least slow him down enough for us to get a shot at Nightmare Moon.
He leapt at me, mouth wide open, teeth bared.
I jumped as well.
My time-sense slowed. Seconds became minutes again.
We slammed together in mid-air.
I was actually doing this. I really was fighting my own father.
There was no guilt in this, however.
We are all haunted by our memories.
It’s Rainbow Dash. One of the Mane Six, Flashbulb said, tears beading in his eyes.
I want my Dashie Back! I want to hold her in my arms! Pinkie Pie cried, a flat-haired fallen hero who longer wanted to live.
My dad asked me why I struggled against life.
Because life is worth struggling for. Even Pinkie Pie’s life.
I moved my hooves up along his neck. No pulse. The flesh was cold. Any medical school worth its scholarships would tell you that what I was fighting now was scientifically impossible. The dead can’t move on their own. If only my teachers could see me now.
We hit the floor together in a teeth-jarring thud. Dad tried to squirm out from my arms around his neck. He swung his front legs up to dislodge me.
I heard the snap and then felt my front left leg catch on fire. Dad managed to crack my radius, the upper leg-bone. I forgot that my father was a coroner. He knew what bones were the easiest to break.
Screaming from the white-hot agony, I frantically moved my non-crippled arm up behind Ivory’s head. There are two neck-bones behind the skull called the atlas and axis. If I slammed my hoof down hard enough between his skull and those bones, his neck would snap. That would slow him down. Right?
You belong to me, little death-pony, Nightmare Moon said in my dream. You were mine the minute you were born.
No. I’m not.
Raising my hoof, I took careful aim through the red fog of pain.
I belong to noone but me.
My hoof slammed down into dad’s head. Something crunched beneath the cold flesh. He still struggled to get to his feet.
“You won’t...rrg..stop Nightmare Moon, son,” My father grunted as he swung down at my rear right leg and snapped it, right at the tibia. I almost couldn’t see at all through the sudden explosive agony. “We’ll soon be with her, and my wife, no matter what.”
As he struggled to lift himself away from me, I took one last smack at the back of his head. My hoof went in a little deeper this time.
His eyes wavered as his head slipped forward and wobbled like a loose shirt-button. Dad must have known what I was trying to do. He looked at me, pleading. “Don’t. Please. I’ve missed your mother so much.”
He whimpered, “I’m so lonely. I have noone else.”
Ivory Mortis wasn’t my father anymore. He was just another shape under the sheet. Just another body to lower into the ground and forget.
“You had me, dad.”
I drew back my hoof.
“But not anymore.”
Swinging my hoof, I aimed for his jaw. With a loud crack, his head swung halfway around.
He fell back down on me, making my busted bones scream again.
“C’mon, Rarity,” hollered Applejack. “We gotta git him outta there!”
Rarity used her magic to lift dad off me while Applejack bit down on my mane and dragged me away.
Twilight hollered, “Nightmare Moon’s almost fully formed! It’s now or never! Pick him up and, well, aim him!”
Rarity and Applejack lifted me up on their shoulders. Even with my vision blurred from the pain of broken bones, I could see Twilight’s eyes glowing. I had read about how the elements are used. Everyone’s eyes glow like street-lamps, thin rainbows slowly ribbon out and connect all the members. Then the big color-blast of magic lights up the battlefield like a forest fire.
“Skip the rainbows!” yelled Twilight. “Just shoot!”
My own eyes flared like the morning sun, yet I could still see the six light-beams from our Elements joining into one multi-colored light-swirl. It punched right through Nightmare Moon’s purple fog and lifted her off the floor.
My father managed to lock his head back into place, but his body was getting dragged into the vortex. I think dad knew he lost, for he looked away from me. One would think that I would feel pity for him even then. One would be wrong.
Within a few moments, they were clinging to each other as the ever-growing pillar of magic pushed them up through the shattered ceiling and towards the moon.
About a minute later, the familiar silhouette of the Mare in the Moon reappeared. It seemed to me that the Mare’s eye seemed a little angrier, but that might have been my whirlwind of pain making me loopy.
At least my father no longer haunted me.
Spike hollered, “Yeah! We did it! Go us!”
Rarity and Applejack lowered me gently to the floor.
Fluttershy looked at my legs. Her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, my. I can’t help him much here.”
“That was a ring-tailed doozy of a fight, Equus,” said Applejack, grinning.
My eyes began to wander around. “Sooo...did we win?”
It felt good to dream of nothing. It was a brief respite from waking up with a day filled with the fact that two of my legs were in casts. My father had cracked my front left leg at the radius. My rear left leg’s tibia was also broken. Both legs had stable fractures. Dad also knocked a U-shaped bruise on my forehead, but that would be the first wound to heal.
I never thought that being a member of the Mane Six would result in so many injuries. Spike told me that nobody else got a scratch. Lucky me.
Flashbulb, my morgue assistant, was taking care of the few dead that came his way. That’s why I love this town. No more ritualistic murders. No mob hits. Just natural causes and accidental deaths.
I did have one issue, however. Once word got out that Nightmare Moon was defeated, ponies around here were wondering when Rainbow Dash’s funeral was going to be. I wanted to know more than anyone because I wanted to arrange and attend her funeral. After avenging her death, it would seem almost cowardly if I didn’t do those things.
The doctors told me that it would be at least four months before my casts would come off. Not to mention the physical therapy I needed to get back into shape. The only way I could even leave my room was on a gurney.
Since I needed help just positioning my bed-pan right, I couldn’t give any of the hospital staff my tombstone stare and demand they take me to the morgue. Flashbulb assured me that he would oversee Rainbow Dash’s funeral preparations. It would have to be a closed-casket event, obviously.
I sent word to Princess Celestia requesting that her air-chariot be used to fly me to the funeral.
I had my books to help pass the time. (But not dad’s family history book. I had that tome of forbidden knowledge hidden in my mattress at home.) There were a fair number of visitors, too. It’s nice to know that I wasn’t quite so scary to these folks any more.
After a week, the funeral was ready to go. I was waiting for my gurney to arrive, when Princess Celestia arrived in my hospital room. She closed the door with a swipe of her ever-flowing tail. I saw two palace guards outside my room.
“The doctors are telling me you are doing well, Equus,” she said.
“As well as can be expected,” I replied, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed about my busted limbs. “I kind of stink at being a Mane Six member, though.”
“Do you know why I chose you to take the Element of loyalty?”
“I was available?” I tried to shrug, but my broken leg’s cast made it look as if I had an itchy back instead.
“Hmm. Well, that’s the second reason. It’s easy to be loyal when everypony loves you. I know not only about your family’s sordid past, but also your recent life. I know you’ve had a hard time getting people here to even look you in the eyes for very long.”
She sat down and looked at me. I gave her my undivided attention. She continued, “To be loyal in the face of people fearing you, dodging you? That takes true commitment in the face of adversity. True loyalty.”
“Well, that’s..true enough. I guess. I won’t be much good in a fight for a few months, though.”
Celestia smiled. “That won’t be an issue. The Mane Six’s job is to face the foes the regular army can’t fight. Equestria should be fine until you get back.”
My eyes popped. “Back? Uh...I stink at this, Celestia. I nearly died the first time I got in a fight and got crushed like a cheap toy the second time.”
“Twilight Sparkle is the leader of the team and she gets far too frazzled when things don’t go according to plan.” Celestia laughed a little as she ticked off the flaws. “Fluttershy has bravery issues. Muddy roads make Rarity shiver with fear. Spike is only a child. Don’t get me started on Applejack’s temper and stubborness.”
She got up. “What I’m trying to get at is this; nopony alive is without flaws. You are shy, small and inexperienced with combat, true. But you are also gifted with a sharp intelligence and a drive to do what’s right, even with demons in your dreams and ghosts in your face.”
The Princess walked towards the door. “If you really want to quit the Mane Six, I suppose I can’t stop you. But consider this; Rainbow Dash is avenged. You helped that happen. What else can you do with the Mane Six by your side? After all, anyone can be more than what they are.”
“That’s true,” I replied.
“There will be a sky-chariot waiting for you outside. We’ll arrive at the funeral together. Do you have a eulogy ready?”
I nodded. “Yes. I hope it’s good enough. Princess?”
“Hmm?”
“After the funeral, I was hoping to visit Pinkie Pie. I have something to tell her.”
She looked at me as if mushrooms had sprouted from my nose. “Are you sure you want to travel that much in your condition? I suppose I can set up travel arrangements.”
As she opened the door, she smiled at me. “You are driven, I must say.”
It took a little while to get me downstairs and to have the gurney strapped into my sky-chariot. My doctor muttered something about me having my brains scrambled from that hoof-print smacked onto my head.
The winds were mercifully calm on the trip to the graveyard. At a distance, it looked like a cloud of ravens were descending on the funeral, but as I got closer, I realized it was at least a hundred Pegasi from Cloudsdale. They were all dressed in black, even the Wonderbolts.
Both I and the Princess parked in a nearby lot. The castle guard-pegasi unstrapped my gurney and moved me alongside her. There were hundreds of ground ponies and unicorns, many of whom wore black bands around their front legs out of reverence.
The crowd split apart as we waded up to top of the hill. There was the casket. Oak with brass handles. The tombstone read “Rainbow Dash--Always in Flight” The birth and death dates were there, with far too small a number between them.
I wasn’t the first to speak at the podium. That was reserved for Rainbow’s parents. Then came the Mane Six, with Spike not being able to say much, as this was his first funeral. Princess Celestia gave a pretty good eulogy.
When I was wheeled around to the podium, I fumbled with my notes, ignored the pain that was slowly ganging up on me and began. “It’s important to not dwell on how someone died, but on how someone lived. Rainbow Dash lived brighter and higher than most ponies I’ve known.I think she knows just how much we all love her. She never stopped fighting for us and we’ll never stop fighting for what she believed in. She believed in loyalty, in friendship, in all of us.”
I tried to adjust my legs, to reduce the pain. Wincing, I struggled to wrap this up. “I hope that others have more to say about her. She deserves every word.” I looked at the casket. “Goodbye, Rainbow Dash. You are never far from any of us.”
You weren’t that far from me when dad nearly killed me, I thought. I knew that could never slip out, so I waved the guards over to wheel me away.
Spitfire, Dashie’s old boss, gave a pretty good speech, as did a dozen others. It took about an hour for the funeral to wind down. I think Dash would have liked this; she always did enjoy being the center of attention.
In spite of Celestia’s best efforts, I wasn’t able to leave for Manehatten until the next day. A nurse accompanied me on the train. Trueheart, I think her name was.She kept up the regiment of pain-meds, which made the trip far more tenable.
When we both made it to the Kirkbridle Institute, that grey Pegasus, Steel Jacket, was a lot more polite to me this time. He was so eager to please me and get me straight to Pinkie Pie, he accompanied us to a side door to a rear court-yard.
It was a nice place to relax, considering the locals. Trees lined the high walls, Lush green grass, rose gardens, it was almost like a vacation resort. In the shade of one of the largest trees sat Pinkie in her wheelchair. The cuffs were gone along with the head-bandages.
She was reading the newspaper when she spotted me. Her large blue eyes bugged when she saw the state I was in. “Yeesh, did the Ponyville train mug you for your wallet?” she asked.
I chuckled. “It feels like it.”
When Nurse Trueheart parked me, I waved her away. “I need a few minutes alone, all right?”
She smiled, trying to not look at Pinkie.
“So, Pinkie Pie, how are they treating you?”
“Eh, pretty well. I’m eating much better food and I got relocated away from the screamers and really scary ponies. That creepy orderly got canned, too. I’m not so doped up, either.”
When we were alone, Pinkie tapped the newspaper headline. “Mane Six sends NightMare Moon back to the moon!”, it screamed.
“It was Moon that took control of me, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I’m so sorry about all of this.”
She tossed the paper to the ground. “You know what really stinks? I can’t ever go home again, even though I didn’t kill anyone. The paper never said anything about my getting possessed. Not that anyone would ever buy that excuse. I guess it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. Everyone’s life matters,” I said. Even my dad’s life mattered. Once.
“If I was released, how long do you think it would be before someone decides to Avenge Rainbow Dash and kill me, huh? It only takes one of them to end you. I found that out the hard way.”
Pinkie sighed. “So did Dashie.”
I looked around. When I was sure that we were alone, I scooted along my gurney to get closer to her. “Listen, Pinkie? There’s some things I’ve got to tell you. I need you to trust me, all right?”
“Uhh, okay. What’s the news?”
“When I was fighting Nightmare Moon, I was nearly killed. When I got knocked out, I ended up near death. But someone was waiting.”
“Who? Starswirl the bearded?”
“No. Pinkie, it was Rainbow Dash. She told me to tell you something.”
She looked at me, eyes blinking as she processed what I said. “You must have been dreaming.”
“Just listen. She said, ‘Pinkie, I know it wasn’t you that killed me, it was Nightmare Moon. I have always loved you.'”
She scowled at me, teeth gritting. “I guess you think I’ll believe anything, huh? Little miss flat-hair, she’s got a bag full of crazy and she doesn’t mind sharing!”
I held up my good front hoof. “Just let me finish, please!”
“No. Nuh-uh. At least the new orderly doesn’t make fun of me. Guards!”
“No! SHH! Dash also told me to tell you this. ‘I will always love you and I will be waiting for you..'”
“GUARDS!” she screamed.
“'...my little sugar-bear.'”
She was stunned into silence. Her mouth hung open.
In a very small voice, Pinkie asked, “What did you say?”
“Sugar-bear.”
“Oh.” Tears began to pillow in her eyes. She held her hooves up to her mouth. “I never told anyone that. That was Dashie’s special nickname for me. When we were lovers.”
She began to sob, quietly at first, then in gasps. Her back must have been killing her, but she didn’t care. Pinkie grabbed my good front hoof. “Oh, thank you! Thank you for telling me this.”
“It was her idea. Dashie figured you needed a boost in this place.”
She nodded, wiping the tears away. “Yeah, that’s Rainbow Dash, all right. Helping people, no matter where she is.”
Steel Jacket and Nurse Trueheart ran over to us. They both look puzzled. Not wanting to piss me off again, Steel Jacket asked me, in as delicate a tone of voice as he could muster, “Is every-thing all right?”
Pinkie’s hair began to poof out a bit as she replied, “Yeah. We’re good. Give us a little while, huh?”
I looked at them, but not with tombstone eyes. “You heard the lady.”
They looked at each other, shrugged and walked away.
Seeing Pinkie’s fur color brighten to the light shade I saw when I first moved to Ponyville was a treat. She was right about one thing, unfortunately. She could never be safe on the outside. As long as she was insane and locked up she was sheltered from retaliation.
And yet...
One of the skills I have as a mortician is making busted up bodies look great for open-casket funerals. I can change fur-colors, hair-styles, that sort of thing. And even killers get forgotten.
Maybe in a few years or so, Celestia can relocate Pinkie Pie somewhere far away from this miserable place. A tiny town on the coast, perhaps, with new pony colors and a new name. Surprise was a good alias. It’s better than being a prisoner for life, especially for something she didn’t do.
That would be the least I could do for her, if it helped her walk away from the graveyard.
Which is something I, as the last member of the Mortis family, am sworn to do. My family name can be anything I want it to be now. No more loyalty to Nightmare Moon. No more ritualistic murders. Just me and what I want to do.
Celestia was right; anyone can be more than what they are.
My name is Equus Mortis. I am Ponyville’s only mortician and coroner.
