Even a Goddess Can Cry

by runner2

First published

This story tells of the final days of Princess Twilight Sparkle and the sorrow and pain that befalls Princess Celestia, and the use of one of the Princess' most secret abilities to help overcome her pain.

Princess Twilight Sparkle has lived in Ponyville for many years. While most of these years have been fun and adventurous for her and her friends, recent years have taken much away. The passing of Applejack, the last of her remaining friends, hurts her greatly. After the pain was starting to subside, a new greater problem comes to light. Twilight will do all she can to prepare for this coming problem, but a simple letter might not be enough to prevent the pain that will follow.

Chapter 1 - Honesty Lost

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Chapter 1 – Honesty Lost

Winter was fast approaching the small town of Ponyville. All of the leaves on the trees had already fallen after the annual Running of the Leaves race and the weather was beginning to cool. All of this was nothing new for Ponyville’s resident princess. But times had become quite hard on her.

Twilight Sparkle, the town’s librarian, event organizer, bearer of the Element of Magic, and longtime princess had been staring out her bedroom window for hours now, evidence of her recent crying still showing on the fur under her eyes. Yesterday was the fifth hardest day of her life. She attended the funeral of the last of her five closest friends, Applejack, after she passed peacefully in her sleep in her house that still stood on the Sweet Apple Acres land. This devastating news came barely a year after laying one of her other longtime friends to rest.

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The funeral yesterday had one of the largest gatherings due to the size of the Apple Family. Many ponies from out of town as well as the whole town of Ponyville had come to pay their respects to the passing of a great friend and relative. The proceedings had been a sad and quiet affair. The pallbearers had been Applejacks remaining family as well as Princess Twilight Sparkle. Having been training as a princess for the majority of her life, Twilight had been taught to hold her feelings in during such tragic events so she could provide an air of comfort to anyone that needed it. This was understandably difficult for her seeing how she had just lost the last of her best and first friends.

The funeral went on while several family members and friends spoke about Applejack’s accomplishments through life. Telling of how she had protected Ponyville from an attack by a pack of timberwolves during zap apple season some years back, to her advice in dealing with farming or even family problems. To how she was the best sister ever. After several more ponies said their parts about the dearly departed farmpony, Twilight Sparkle slowly made her way to the stand.

“Thank you all for attending this sorrowful occasion. As you all know, Applejack was a great farmer, a loving family member, and a dear friend.” Twilight began, obviously fighting very hard to keep from falling apart. “Applejack was one of the first ponies I met when I came to Ponyville all of those years ago. And she became one of my best and closest friends. Applejack was the most honest pony around. You could ask her nearly anything and, although she could be blunt, she would reply truthfully and honestly…”

After Twilight had finished a few more ponies took to the stand to pay their respects as well before everypony slowly started to leave. Twilight and Apple Bloom were among the last ones to go. Slowly making her way back to the library, Twilight had let her tears begin to fall. Nearing the library she was beginning to tremble from her suppressed emotions. Stepping through the door and locking it, she barely took two steps before collapsing onto the floor in tears. The pain was great after having lived through the passing of her friends. Her training to control her emotions had prevented her from breaking down after the passing of her other friends, but this was her last. She could no longer contain the pain and was finally letting it out. She was lying on the floor for hours like that before finally standing and making her way to bed.

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Twilight had been alone in the library for nearly a decade now. Spike had to go and start his 100-year slumber as part of his natural growing phase. Their parting had been painful and Spike knew that this would be the last time he would see his friends again. Princess Celestia had found a suitable cave near Canterlot where he would be safe and not cause any problems for the residents. She also offered to look after him when he awoke.

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Twilight awoke the next morning with tear stained cheeks. She had barely managed to sleep last night and was struggling with writing to Celestia about Applejack’s passing. After many failed attempts, she finally managed to write the letter without messing up or getting tear stains on it. After Spike had left for his slumber, Twilight had been taught the spell to send letters to the princess herself. A brief burst of flame later and the letter was sent.

Not even 5 minutes had passed when Twilight noticed the sun noticeably dim. A sign that Celestia felt her pain as well. Anticipating the reply soon, Twilight walked over to sit at her desk. After a short wait, the familiar glow of magic appeared followed by a scroll popping into existence in front of her. Twilight caught it in her magic and opened it on the desk to read.


Dear Twilight Sparkle,

It pains me greatly to hear of this terrible news. Applejack was indeed a good friend to us all and she will be greatly missed. I do hope you are doing well and I am always here to talk if you ever need it. Please take care of yourself. When I find the time, I will try to visit you soon. Until then, take care and know that I am also feeling your pain over this loss.

Sincerely,

Celestia

Placing the scroll onto the desk, Twilight moved to look out the window. The skies were still overcast and the town seemed much less lively today. The loss had affected everypony. Twilight decided she at least needed to make an appearance in town today to show everypony that she is still there to help if they need it. Walking into the bathroom, she fixed her mane and washed up some before going. Stopping in front of her mirror, she picked up her crown and placed it on her head before continuing downstairs. She slowly descended the stairs from her room and made her way to the door. Picking up her saddlebags and taking a few bits with herself, the walked out.

The air today was cool. It was certainly getting close to winter and the pegasai were busy preparing for the first snowfall that was scheduled to happen in a few days. Twilight made her way through town, greeting the ponies out wandering the streets going about their daily chores. Heading toward the market, she noticed the Sweet Apple Acres stall was absent. Knowing that Apple Bloom was probably taking this very hard, she could understand its absence. Sparing a silent glance toward the space, Twilight continued walking, a single tear falling to the ground as she passed.

A short walk later she arrived at Sugarcube Corner. Twilight had many happy memories of this place. With all of the parties that were thrown here and all of the good times spent with her friends. After Pinkie Pies passing several years back, it had never regained that sense of overwhelming joy that just entering the bakery had provided. Twilight entered and made her way up to the counter where Pound and Pumpkin Cake were waiting on customers. They were both looking worse for wear after yesterday’s events.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, what can I get you Miss Sparkle.” Pound Cake asked in a much sadder tone than normal.

“Hello Pound. I will just take a cup of coffee and a small plate of muffins.” Twilight replied, noticing the sadness in his voice. “How are you and your sister doing?”

With a sigh, Pound replied, “We have been better. Yesterday’s events have been hard on everypony in town. But we are managing alright I suppose.”

Pound walked into the back and returned with a cup of coffee, placing it on the counter. He then reached below the counter and slid three muffins onto a small plate before placing them on the counter as well.

“Here you are Miss Sparkle.” He said as Twilight placed some bits onto the counter and collected her purchase. After a short pause he said, “How have you been doing?”

Twilight let out a sigh. “I have been taking it kind of hard. But I will be fine.” Twilight replied giving a sad smile.

Pound returned the smile and gave a nod before walking over to help the next customer.

Twilight walked over and sat down at one of the corner tables near the windows. After getting comfortable she started eating her meal. Time went by as she sat in silence watching the ponies come and go. She had long since finished her meal when somepony approached her table, drawing her attention. It was Pumpkin Cake.

“Hello Pumpkin, can I help you with anything?” Twilight asked.

Giving a slight bow, Pumpkin replied, “I was just coming over to ask if you are alright. You have been sitting here for the past several hours and haven’t said anything.”

Twilight was a little surprised at that, she glanced outside and realized that the sun was indeed setting. “Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was getting. I am fine. I was just remembering good times from the past.”

Pumpkin knew that Twilight was probably still quite sad about yesterday’s events. “If you want I can leave the shop open for a while if you need some time.” Pumpkin said.

“That’s fine, you don’t have to. I need to get back home anyway since I’m sure I have some returned books to reshelf.” Twilight said as she got up. “Thank you for the meal.”

“You’re welcome princess.” Pumpkin said with a small bow.

Giving a small chuckle, Twilight stated, “You know you don’t have to call me that. Just Twilight is fine.”

“I-I know. I have just never been very good around any of the royalty.” Pumpkin said while nervously glancing to the side.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to be so formal around me.” Twilight said softly, “I should probably be going now. You and Pound take care of yourselves now.”

“We will your highn-I mean Twilight. You take care as well.” Pumpkin said.

With a smile and a nod, Twilight exited the shop and began to make her way back to the library. It had gotten a fair bit colder since she had arrived. The pegasai had finished preparing for the year’s first snowfall and had all left work for the day. The market was already packed up and only a few ponies were still around at this time. Walking by the market on her way back, Twilight spared another glance toward the Sweet Apple Acres space. Her eyes grew wide and she stopped at what she saw. There in the space were numerous flowers and cards that had seemingly come for nearly every pony in Ponyville. Knowing that she should contribute to the memorial as well, Twilight walked over to a nearby flowerbed and picked out a few nice blooms. Using her magic to weave them together, Twilight made a small wreath and placed it in the center of the space. Shedding a few more tears, she turned and made her way back home.

Chapter 2 - Sorrowful Discovery

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Chapter 2 – Sorrowful Discovery

It was beginning to get dark by the time Twilight made it home. As expected, there was a hoof-full of returned books in the basket by the door. After Spike had left, Twilight needed a way for the library to at least be partially operational during her absence. She designed a simple slot beside the front door for ponies to return books while she was out. Over the years she improved upon the original design by adding magical enchantments to the books and the slot itself so she would know when a book had been returned and who had last checked it out. It was a simple matter to assign the library cards issued to ponies with a small magical enchantment that she would then link with any books they decided to check out. Then the enchantment on the slot would register enchantment time and sever the connection to avoid accidental overdue charges when they were returned.

A couple of weeks after that sad day, Twilight was still happy with her work in the library, she set about recording the returns into her ledgers and went about returning them to their proper shelves. It was while preforming her tasks that something unexpected happened… her magic suddenly cut out, dropping the books she was levitating to the ground. Twilight had no idea what had happened so she tried picking them back up. The books rose back up the eye level and remained perfectly contained by her levitation magic. Afraid she might be getting a cold, she quickly finished her task and searched for a specific book that might explain the odd occurrence. After a few moments she found the book she was looking for, ‘Unicorn Magical Analysis and Referenced Guide’.

After searching the rather large tome for the better part of an hour, Twilight found something similar to what had happened earlier. The book talked about various causes that resulted in temporary loss of magic in unicorns, many of which didn’t apply to her. But as she read on she began to grow more concerned. The book spoke of only a few potential causes of magic loss. The first of which was simply overexertion by the unicorn in either using a very magically taxing spell, or overuse of normal magic. The second and much more concerning was loss of magical powers due to age.

Twilight sat in shock of what that meant. She reread the section several times over but could find no other explanation. After a while she decided to read on to find if there was a way to prevent this and what it could mean. Her face paled on what she read next. The book stated that magical loss from natural ageing only occurred when the unicorn was nearing the end of their natural life cycle. The magical loss begins gradually at first with the unicorn simply not having the amount of power they had before. The second stage, magical cut-outs, was usually the first notable sign that it was happening unless the unicorn had been monitoring for it. The book detailed that the second stage could last anywhere from one month to a full year depending on the natural powers of the unicorn. Twilight was visibly trembling at this point, she had known she was getting on in years but never expected the… end… to be so near. Continuing to read, the book went on to describe the third and final stage of the magical loss cycle. Complete magic loss happened when the unicorn was very near the end of their natural life. The final cycle would last up to a month at most.

Twilight couldn’t believe what she was reading… but it had been right so far. She had noticed a decline in her magical powers for some time but didn’t pay much attention to it. Now it seems that what she had been experiencing was the first part of the magical loss cycle in a unicorn. After all that had happened recently, being faced with her own mortality was strangely calming. She knew what it would mean for those around her, but also knew that she would finally be reunited with her friends in the end as well. Tears of sorrow mixed with tears of joy at the prospect. But before the complete loss of magic, Twilight wanted to do as much as she could to help prepare the town for what would eventually come. However, she didn’t want to tell anypony of this sorrowful news in order not to become a burden on their minds. She especially didn’t want to tell Celestia, knowing what that would do to her. Instead of telling Celestia and having her worry and end up trying something desperate to prevent or slow the magical loss cycle, she opted to write a letter to her and magically link it to her own life force. On her passing, the letter would be sent to Celestia, making her the first to know.

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Celestia had called off holding court for the day as she went into one of the more secluded areas of the castle that only her and Luna had access to. This would be the fifth time in the past several years that she had done this, and nopony knew why. The only other times that Celestia had called off holding court was either during holidays or national emergencies. Celestia had been holding a powerful spell in her horn while pacing around seemingly searching for something. She had been up since before she had even raised the sun to begin her spell. Luna questioned her several times as to what she was doing but refused to reveal anything to her younger sister. The hours past as Celestia simply paced in circles in this secluded room before coming to a sudden halt. Her eyes, which had been mostly closed during her pacing, snapped open and a soft smile appeared upon her face. With a sudden burst of magic, she was gone.

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Twilight, ever the one for lists, decided to make what could very well be one of her most important lists yet. She decided that, given her estimate on her remaining time, she would need to begin training a replacement for herself in the library soon. Her other tasks included finishing her teaching to some of the young unicorns to control their magic better and using some of her remaining funds to assist in fixing and improving various building around town. However… one of her most difficult tasks was creating a will. She had thought about it briefly in the past but had never set about actually writing it up. Considering all of the various ponies she could entrust her wealth to after her passing, she decided on 4 primary candidates… Apple Bloom, Sweety Belle, Scootaloo, and Spike. While Spike wouldn’t wake for quite a long time yet, she still wanted to leave him something… after all, she still looked at him as her baby brother. Having her list prepared, she decided to turn in for the night.

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It was still fairly early in the morning when Twilight woke. Despite recent troubles, she managed to get a decent amount of sleep last night. Slowly getting out of bed, she began her daily regimen of straightening out her mane, brushing her teeth, making her bed, and preparing breakfast. By the time breakfast was finished the sun was well on its way into the sky. Grabbing her saddlebags, list, bits, crown, and a scarf that was hanging near the door, she set out. Briefly considering what to do first, Twilight turned and headed toward town hall. Deciding to donate a fair amount of bits to town hall would ensure that any problems or emergencies that arose would have funding to help. The donation box was placed a short way from the front doors in the interior of the building. Quickly and silently, she placed the envelope containing the bits and a note into the box before heading toward the front desk.

Twilight slowly made her way to the desk to start on another portion of her list, the will. As she approached, the pony at the counter looked up to see who was approaching and then immediately stood and gave a bow. The younger mare was a recent hire to the position after the retirement of the previous one. She was a light pink, almost white, mare with a short straightened pale green mane and tail. Still bowing as Twilight approached, only after Twilight had stopped a few hoof-lengths from the made did she offer a greeting.

“Good morning Princess Twilight Sparkle. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“No need to be so formal Strawberry Mint. I’m just looking for any material you have on proper procedures in making a will.” Twilight replied with a smile.

Strawberry Mint was a bit startled with the request, but managed to respond anyway, “We have a couple of books on them right here” she said as she trotted to a small bookshelf behind the desk.

Returning a moment later with the two books balanced on her back, she offered them to Twilight.

“Thank you. There is also a couple more things I need to ask you.” Twilight said.

“Anything your highness” Strawberry replied with another small bow.

“I need to ask you to take down my advertisement on training unicorns for the foreseeable future. I need to also ask where I can place an advertisement for an apprenticeship position opening at the library.” Twilight said.

“Alright. I will take your previous advertisement down shortly, but I need you to fill out a form describing the position you are offering and the requirements for it.” Strawberry said.

With a polite nod of acknowledgement, Twilight took the form that was being offered and sat on a nearby cushion while filling it out. After a few short minutes, Twilight was complete with the form. Strawberry took the completed form and got to work setting up the advertisement. After being told that that was all she needed to do for the advertisements, Twilight asked to borrow the books on making a legal will. After getting Strawberry’s permission to borrow them, Twilight placed the books into her saddlebags and left town hall in route to her next location.

After starting off down the street from the town hall, Twilight came to an interesting realization… rather than going around to each of the places in need of help and anonymously making donations, why not just add such things into her will? With that plan in mind she would be able to help in ways using her skills rather than just her accumulated wealth. So that’s what she decided to do. Changing course, she began heading toward the edge of the Everfree Forest.

After the fairly lengthy walk through town toward the Everfree, she was able to see the vast, dangerous forest getting closer. Thinking back to when she was first taught this spell many years ago, she began to build up the necessary power as she neared the forest.

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Back during a particularly bad year of timberwolf attacks near and in the town’s limits, Princess Celestia decided to set up a magical barrier around the forest to prevent any of the dangerous magical creatures from getting out. The barrier not only prevented the creatures from getting out, but still allowed ponies brave enough to enter the ability to do so. After the Princess had set up the spell, she explained that it would eventually weaken over time if it wasn’t reinforced periodically. The spell to reinforce it was taught to Twilight Sparkle and a select few other unicorns in town. The spell itself required a relatively small amount of power, but it takes good concentration and time to build up in order to reinforce the original spell.

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With the forest directly ahead and the spell prepared, Twilight began to add significantly more power to the spell than was required. This would not only boost the power of the barrier, but also greatly lengthen the time before it needed another boost. Dumping the majority of her power into the spell, she let it loose. It flew slowly but perfectly toward the barrier. Upon coming into contact, the barrier gave off an immense glow before dimming back to normal. Before heading back toward town, Twilight needed to test out her boost to make sure the barrier still acted like normal. When it allowed her to pass through and back as normal, she called it a success before turning and heading back to town.

With that big problem out of the way for now, she had mostly exhausted her magic for the day. She still had plenty of magic to do her basic tasks of sorting through returned books, writing, and levitating items though. With a satisfied feeling, Twilight returned to the library. In a few hours the young unicorns she had been teaching would be coming and she had to tidy up the library first.

Arriving back home with about 20 minutes to spare, she set to work quickly organizing the library in preparation for her magic class. She didn’t cover much more than simple levitation and telekinesis, but it would help the young students get prepared for more advanced spells over time. With a light knock on the door, Twilight walked over and opened it to see the 6 young unicorns there to attend one of their final lessons. She ushered them all inside and started on her lectures and teaching.

After several hours of explanations, practice, and damage control… the day’s lessons were complete. Most of the students had progressed significantly since starting their lessons and would be finished with them soon. Twilight knew that it would only be another 2 to 4 lessons at most until they would be proficient enough to no longer need teaching. But for now, the day was mostly done and night would be coming soon. She picked up the objects that were used to practice on and put them away. Deciding to simply read until bed, Twilight decided to choose one of the old Daring Do stories and retired to her room for the night.

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Twilight had been going about the same process for a couple of months now since learning about what her magic problems meant. Her magical cut outs were slowly but surely becoming more common, but never more than 2 or 3 times a month yet. The magic class she was teaching was done and her will had been written and rewritten several times. All she needed now was for somepony to accept the apprentice position at the library and have a love for books. She decided to go to town hall and check on any applicants to the position to see if anypony qualified.

After getting ready and stepping outside, Twilight turned and began her walk toward town hall. It was much colder today and there was a light snow falling. During the winter months the weather pegasai didn’t have much to do aside from monitoring the snowfall and making sure it didn’t pile up too much in places. The walk was peaceful and mostly quiet. There were a few ponies chatting while walking down the street but nothing much. Entering the market she saw the Sweet Apple Acres stall already set up and selling their wares. After Twilight’s suggestion to preserve some of their goods to sell during colder months, the Apple family had been making a good profit year round.

Deciding to stop and chat with Apple Bloom and her daughter Cinnamon Apple, Twilight walked over to the stall. They were just finishing up a sale as Twilight approached.

“Good mornin’ Twilight!” Called Apple Bloom.

“Good morning girls. How has business been today?” Twilight asked while looking over their wares.

“It has been good so far. No big sales yet but the mornin’ is still young.” Apple Bloom replied.

“That’s good. So how has everything at home been?” Twilight asked.

“It had been alright Ah guess… it certainly is differn’t bein’ the oldest one there now though.” Apple Bloom said with a slight frown.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Twilight said apologetically.

“Don’t worry Twilight… it has been hard but Ah am managing alright Ah suppose.” Apple Bloom said, her eyes getting misty.

“It’s alright Apple Bloom, you do her proud. I’m sure she’s glad you are keeping the farm running as well and by wearing that hat you are keeping her memory alive.” Twilight said with a smile while placing a comforting hoof on Apple Bloom’s shoulder.

“Thank ya Twilight.” Apple Bloom said, wiping her eyes.

“Now before I head off, I think I might buy a couple of your apple pies.” Twilight said grinning.

“Sure thing Twilight.” Apple Blood said with a grin as she placed two of the treats into boxes.

After placing her purchase into her saddlebag and saying their goodbyes, Twilight continued her walk toward town hall. It was a short walk from the market to the town hall so within a few minutes she was stepping through the front doors. There were hardly any other ponies that had any business at this time, so the front lobby was mostly empty. Twilight glanced around and noticed the same mare sitting at the front desk that had helped her before.

“Hello Strawberry Mint.” Twilight said as she approached.

Looking up from her desk, Strawberry had to fight the urge to stand from her chair to bow toward the approaching princess before greeting her. “Good morning Princess Twilight. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

“I was just stopping by to see if there had been any interest in the library apprenticeship position I was offering.” Twilight said.

“Ah. One moment and I will check for you.” Strawberry said before turning toward a file cabinet on the back wall. After a couple of minutes of searching, Strawberry turned back toward the desk with a folder before laying it open for Twilight to see. “There has been a bit of interest, but I am unsure if you would approve of any of the applicants though.”

Confused by the comment, Twilight asked, “Is there something wrong with them?”

“Well, they are not exactly ponies you would expect to be able to work in a library. There are only two applicants, a pegasus and a unicorn. The unicorn, Miss. Flare, is very accident prone with fire related mishaps. The pegasus, Miss. Lightning Chaser, tends to be something of a show off and is always trying dangerous aerial stunts and tricks.” Strawberry said, reading off some of the notes about the two applicants.

Twilight thought about the two applicants for a moment. A unicorn would be able to better manage the sorting and shelving of the books. But with this applicant’s problem with fire… that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. The pegasus would be able be able to sort and shelve books as well, but at a slower pace. The bit of info she had on this Miss. Lightning Chaser made her think of the only other pony she knew like that…. Rainbow Dash. It had been many years since her passing, but judging by the age of the applicant, it could be Rainbow’s grandchild. Figuring she wouldn’t have much to lose, she could try out Miss. Lightning Chaser for the job.

“I think I might give Miss. Lightning Chaser a chance. The work isn’t that hard and judging by what you said about her, she seems like she would remind me of an old friend.” Twilight said.

“Umm… if you are sure then I can arrange for her to arrive there around 10am tomorrow.” Strawberry said.

“That will be fine. I’m sure she probably isn’t as bad as you believe though.” Twilight said with a smile.

With that, Strawberry Mint began writing a letter to be delivered sometime later that day to Lightning Chaser.

After saying their goodbyes to each other, Twilight left town hall to return home and prepare for her new apprentice. The snow was still falling when she got back outside. The market was nearing its closing time for the day so there were a few last minute shoppers at some of the stalls. The Sweet Apple Acres stall was beginning to pack up their remaining goods before closing up for the day. Twilight waved at Apple Bloom and Cinnamon Apple as she walked by.

The walk back to the library was very peaceful. With most of the animals either hibernating or having migrated, Ponyville was very quiet this time of year. After a few more minutes of walking, Twilight arrived back at the library. Shaking some of the snow off and cleaning her hooves, she walked inside to begin tiding up before her new apprentice arrives tomorrow. This time of year ended up being the busiest for the library since ponies liked to stay indoors and read a good book by the fireplace. And true to that fact, there were plenty of returns today.

With only a couple of hours of work, counting a few ponies coming in to check out books, Twilight was done straightening up the library for tomorrow. Going down her small checklist she made sure that everything was properly put away aside from a few tasks set aside to see how her new apprentice would perform. Having nothing else to do for the day, Twilight decided to make something to eat and read some books until it was time for the library to close. She was sure to have an interesting day tomorrow with the new apprentice.