> A Twist in the Tail
>  by Midnightshadow
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Changing Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 1


Changing Day


by Midnight Shadow

an MLP:FiM fanfic based in the conversion bureau universe originally by blaze, which is in turn based on My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, copyright Hasbro.

***

The conversion bureau was just like any other. Glenn was almost disappointed; it was kind of like going to McDonalds, always the same. He expected it every time, but still…where was the magic? He’d been to a few before but he’d chickened out after the first day, often stealing away in the middle of the night.

The front desk was manned by a pony, as usual. Maybe that should be ‘ponied by a  pony’, he thought to himself. He wasn’t really sure why they always had a pony on the front desk, but if he’d been asked he’d have guessed it was so that visitors would get the right idea immediately. We make ponies here, it said, it’s what we do.
“Er, hi…” he said, walking up to the unicorn. It was almost always a unicorn, he figured it was their ability to hold several phones in the air at once without breakages that led to it. Maybe it was something to do with being a unicorn that leant their talents towards being secretaries? He shook his head, you’re over-thinking it, doofus, he said to himself.
“Hi there Sugar, come on in. Computer says you’re a pony graduate now?”
This was new.
“I’m a what?”
“A pony graduate. It says you’ve been to a conversion bureau for at least a total of seven days, you’ve interacted positively with staff and customers and you’ve had the standard introductory lecture at least once. You’re a graduate.”
“I…er…well I’ve heard it several – seven – times. I mean…I-I-I…what’s a pony graduate?”
The unicorn tilted her head and purposefully put the phones down, “Why are you here, Sugar?”
“I…er…I guess I want to become a pony?” said Glenn, shrugging his shoulders.
“Then why leave each time? You’re done though. You’ve graduated. Well done. What this means is, if you come in through these doors, you go to the head of the queue. You get the next free slot. That’s in about five minute’s time, hon, if you’re really interested. Otherwise…well if you’re looking for a job, we’ve got several openings. We don’t want to force ponification on anypony, but we don’t want you to sit here moping about and taking up space. There’s a lot of humans who want conversion, hon, if you don’t then there’s no hard feelings.”
“You…don’t want me here?”
“Oh no, no! Nothing like that, sweetie, we just don’t want to bore you with the same details over and over and we don’t need to make you wait nor make anypony else miss out because we can’t take a newfoal due to lack of room and board!”
“I’m…I’m sorry.” He folded in on himself, he felt stupid now. They’d noticed. They’d noticed big time.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“I…maybe?”
“How about this – my good friend Rarity is visiting this very centre. She’s not a newfoal like me-“
“You’re a newfoal?” Glenn stared, he’d never have known. She was…she was a pony.
“I sure as sugar am, tallstuff. Got ponified in the first wave, way back when…five years now?”
“Do…do you…?”
“Regret it? Heck no! I missed my thumbs and…other stuff…but I love being a pony and whilst I’d have taken an earth pony and wanted to be a Pegasus, I can’t think of being anything else than what I am now. I never felt wrong as a human, but as a pony? It felt right. Come on honeybuns, follow me. It’s my break time anyhow. What’s your name?”
“Glenn.” Said Glenn
“Just Glenn? I could go look it up, ya know...”
“Does it matter?”
“Guess not, you got the express lane if you want it. I’ve got my computer to pop up the details of every prospective newfoal that walks in through those doors, but the one thing I never need is a name. Not until now. My name’s Moonbeam. Just Moonbeam.”
“Aren’t you ponies running short on names by now?”
Moonbeam laughed as she exited from behind the desk with soft clip-clopping noises, “Probably, but I don’t let it worry me. So, Just Glenn, follow me and let’s see if I can find Rarity.”

They walked through the complex, and once again the friendly atmosphere washed over him. He allowed it, he always loved it. Rarely an unkind word, always sweetness and light. He couldn’t understand it. Within these walls, even though every time he found himself just visiting, he felt at peace.
“Why do you do it?” asked Moonbeam suddenly, turning her head to look at him.
“What, run?”
“Yeah. You scared?”
Glenn thought to himself, hands in pockets. He wanted to lift a hand out and pet the creature next to him, she was a three-foot-high light blue and purple-speckled talking unicorn, all soft curves and huggable neck, “I guess so. Did it hurt?”
Moonbeam stopped in her tracks for a second, then carried on, “They say the first ones hurt – before they learned to knock you out first. Those who were there say they’ll never forget. I’m not going to lie, Sugar, I don’t do that. Listen though, when I did it – and this was five years ago or more – I didn’t feel a thing.”
“and you’re…still you?”
Moonbeam looked up at him as they crossed the cafeteria. She turned and shouldered open the doors to the area marked ‘STAFF ONLY – NO UNAUTHORISED PERSONNEL BEYOND THIS POINT’. This was it, he realized, the one part of the grounds he’d never got to see in any bureau.
“Glenn, I remember when I was just a girl on a farm. We had a big farm but it had long ago ceased to be hard work…big robots worked the land, tilling, turning, planting, picking. General AI came along a few years later and it turned out we were just…tenants. Our farm didn’t need us. The whole shebang was automated almost over night. I guess you could say I had a fun life; I played hookey from school, used to go fishin’ with my pals down at the creek. We never caught much but a sun-burn. Those were the days…and then I grew up. I was a workshy, bone-idle mistress of a company that didn’t need me. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had hands then, Glenn, hands that had never seen a hard days work in their life. I had brown hair, blue eyes, freckles and a birth mark right on my…well, my pappy’d say I shouldn’t mention that one.”
“So…that’s a yes?”
“Glenn, I can’t answer that question. Are you the same person when you wake up in the morning that went to bed the previous night? The simple answer is yes. The technically correct answer is probably no, to both ponification and sleep. If you’re happy going to sleep every night to wake up the next day, then yeah, I’d say I’m me. I certainly think I’m me!”
They walked on in silence. It was a pretty short trip, all said and done.
“Rarity honey? You in here?”
“Why certainly, Moonbeam darling! My favourite newfoal  beauty model!” came a voice, it belonged to a snow-white unicorn with diamonds on her flanks – her cutie-mark, remembered Glenn, he wondered what his would be – and stunning purple hair. Equestrian ponies could never be compared to naturals from Earth, that kind of shine and colour-scheme just couldn’t be replicated.
“Rar’ girl, you say that to all your newfoal models.”
“I know, I know, but I mean it this time!”
“You say that too.”
The two ponies laughed – such a familiar sound! – but there was real friendship and affection there. They embraced necks and chewed manes for a moment, very pony-like, before they parted and both turned to look up at Glenn.

Glenn was a short, slightly overweight human of average build, average face, average life. Black hair, brown eyes, light complexion. Immediately Rarity had begun sizing him up – she was planning on introducing a daring range of saddles for humans, strictly ornamental and quite the fashion statement. She was sure they’d catch on. A saddle would look excellent on this one, it was almost a pity this human would become a pony. Maybe as a pony…hmm.

She turned to her friend, “To what do I owe this pleasure, Moonbeam dear?”
“You’re a good talker – this here’s a graduate. Glenn by name, Glenn by nature.”
“Second thoughts?”
“Seventh thoughts.”
“Oh my, are you sure I should be talking to..?”
“Glenn just keeps coming back like a little lost puppy. I don’t want you to talk this one into nothin’ unwanted but…can you help clear things up?”
“I’d be delighted, dear! Come on Glenn – oh that would be such a lovely pony name! It would suit you!”

Rarity explained things as much as she could – humans came in, ponies came out. Nopony had ever complained, nopony had ever regretted their decision. No, she couldn’t understand it and it didn’t really bother her, why should it to see ponies happy? Scientists attributed things to a raised endorphin level, happiness hormones which were a natural and pleasant side-effect of being a pony, but really it was just the way things were.

“So, Glenn dear, if you’ve made up your mind, just hop up here and we’ll be done before you know it.”
“That’s it?”
“Indeed! Just a quick little drinkie, you go to sleep, and wake up to a whole new look!”
“And it doesn’t hurt, and I’m still me?”
“No complaints, and as far as anypony has ever commented, yes.”
“Okay then. I’m in. I’m done. Hit me.”
“Marvellous! I’ll just…oh…silly me, we’re not quite set up for a graduate newfoal are we? I’ll…you stay here, I’ll get you the potion. Hop up, cover yourself with this paper robe – it comes off much easier than normal clothing and hides things that you humans seem intent on hiding.”

Rarity exited the room, rather flustered. She was a grade-A ponification technician, it really wasn’t on to be caught short without the proper setup when a flighty thing like Glenn was waiting. She poked her head into the head technician’s office, “Hello? Anypony? No? Drat…oh!”
The solitary exchange was short-lived as Rarity saw a cupboard with sets of supplies and samples. The potion was the wrong colour – usually a deep purple, this one was cherry red - but it was labeled as a ponification potion, old but still in date, so it had to be acceptable. She’d replace it as soon as possible. Snatching it up in her muzzle in her haste, she bolted from the room and headed back towards the ponification station.

Glenn hopped up, it felt very strange. The paper robe was open at the back and it felt distinctly drafty on his skin – underneath it he was naked and the plastic seating was sticking to his sweaty buttocks. He noticed a roll of paper at the head and reasoned she should have pulled it down. Hopping back off he was startled into hearing a pony gasp behind him. Rarity had returned.

She averted her gaze, “I’m sorry, I know you humans are sensitive about your bodies…”
“It’s okay, I was just covering the seat with the disposable paper…”
Rarity was even more flustered, “Oh my, I do apologize!”
“No, no, it’s my fault. I’m such a bother, hanging around conversion bureaus and wasting everybody’s time.
“It’s okay to be worried, Glenn, and I won’t have it that you feel pressure. You are free to go, if you wish.”
Glenn shook his head, “No. I’ve made up my mind. I…I’d never really spoken to a pony before, not a newfoal and not an Equestrian. I mean I meet them, in the shops and around the neighbourhood but…”
“You don’t know how to introduce yourself?”
“What do you say to a pony?”
“I find that ‘hello’ usually works,” giggled Rarity, floating the potion over to him, “here you go. Drink this and you’ll fall asleep.”
“And I’ll wake up a pony?”
“That’s the general idea.”
“Does it taste nasty?”
“No, it’s supposed to taste like grape juice.”
Glenn smacked his lips, having downed the bottle, “No, no…this one tasted of cherr-“ he slumped back and Rarity barely caught the glass beaker in time. She recalled some ponies had much the same reaction to liquor.

Glenn drifted – he couldn’t really see, couldn’t really feel. He was formless, without shape. There was a tugging sensation and he felt himself drawn through space. He floated, slowly becoming aware of a flock of birds…no, they were pegasi, filling the skies. He floated amongst them, admiring, reaching out ethereal hands that could no longer grasp to touch them. They accepted him but he felt himself move on. Deep into the forests he fell, secret valleys and secluded vistas where shooting stars spun from the horns of a multitude of unicorns. They contemplated the cosmos, sewed seasons into the tapestry of the world and wielded magic of the weird and wonderful. They welcomed him, examining him, passing his essence around and greeting him with a nudge or a nuzzle, but he felt out of place here, too. He passed from their tender ministrations to the plains, great rolling fields of grass and scrub where the thunder of hooves shook the world to the very foundations of the mountains, and here he felt his hooves touch the earth. Halting at first, but gathering speed, soon he was thundering along with them, part of the herd, movement personified, the very essence of grace and power, pulling the world through it’s endless cycle of death and rebirth as summer moved to autumn to fall to winter and finally rise up in spring and give way to summer. He was an earth pony.

Glenn’s eyes opened.
“Glenn dear? Are you back with us?” asked Rarity softly. She had the remains of his paper robe at her hooves and was clearing away the utensils. He realized he felt wonderful. He flexed his hooves, one at a time. His hooves! He stared at them agog – a light chestnut-brown coat and with what appeared to be a burgundy flowing mane and tail. His gaze travelled down his body. He was on his back on the strange seat, it had molded to his new form. He stared himself up and down…
“Rarity…Rarity!” his voice was high-pitched - for a pony’s - as he called to the unicorn, a worried inflection colouring the tone.
“What, what? Is everything okay?”
“Can…can you help me down and then…and then check something for me?”
“Of course, dear, hold on…”
Rarity made adjustments and the seat twisted and turned as Glenn eased himself down to the ground to stand on all four hooves for the first time. He swayed lightly and took a couple of tentative steps.
“Everything alright? All newfoals are a bit unsteady their hooves at first, you’ll get used to it.”
“It’s…it’s not that. Can you…tell me what I am?”
“You’re an earth pony dear, and a stunning one at that, why the things I could do with that mane…”
“What sex?”
“Why, you’re a filly dear – Glenn does suit you so well, like a lovely natural glade. You should keep it!”
“I…I…I…I’m a filly?”
“Yes, of course. You were a woman, so now you’re a filly.”
“I’m a man! Glenn! It’s a man’s name!”
“…oh dear…”

Glenn paced backwards and forwards. She’d bolted through the cafeteria, falling on her arse three times and spilling the contents of several tables in her haste as all four hooves went in different directions. She all but ignored the applause  - both clapping and hoof-stomping – giving weak, wan smiles to the crowd as she rushed out into the gardens where she spent several minutes trying to get a look under her own tail in the reflection in the ornamental pond.

She was so engrossed in this behaviour that she failed to notice she wasn’t alone.
“I, er, I know this may come as too early, miss, but…are you doing anything later?” came a voice. It belonged to a dark black unicorn stallion, his coat was glossy and his shoulders were broad and his mane – as jet black as the rest of him – caught in the sunlight just so. Another stallion stood next to him, a Pegasus, shyly looking at the ground, wings fluttering.
Glenn shook her head, “No! No…I mean…no, thank you…but…no.”
“Don’t worry, I’m a newfoal too, we won’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with…you’re just…quite pretty, miss.”
Glenn bit her lip, shaking her head, dammit, I don’t need to think about this right now and I’m not even into guys, even if he is…I don’t think he’s handsome! He’s…he’s a pony for starters…and so am I and oh goodness what do I do he’s still there looking at me…
Glenn fidgeted awkwardly, feeling her tail raise and flick against her will as she shuffled her hooves left and right.
“Well okay, but I’ll be here a few days if you change your mind, I’m shippin’ out to Equestria with my other buddy when he gets finished day after tomorrow.”
“You’ll clear off is what you’ll do! Shoo! Shoo! Barely five minutes out of the ponification station and you’re already chasing fillies! Away with you!” came Rarity’s voice, and she charged in throwing pine cones at the pair. They turned tail and fled.
Glenn breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you, thank you, I was…I didn’t know what to do!”
“You just say no, dear…that’s all you’ve got to…oh dear,” Rarity sniffed lightly, “do we have that to deal with on top of everything?”
“What? What? Now what?”
“I wish I had an easier way to tell you this, but you’re going into season.”
“I’M GOING INTO WHAT NOW?” yelled Glenn
“Relax, relax, it’s quite normal. Humans and ponies are quite similar really, but we do tend to have more…restricted times for procreation.”
“I know what it means! How come it’s happening to me!”
“It’s a side-effect that a statistically small but significant number of newfoal mares go into season – flashing pink, we call it – within hours of ponification. It will only last a couple of days.”
“Oh good grief…so what do I do? How do I…turn it off?”
Rarity blushed, “Well dear, the quickest way is…ah…”
“Doing that? With a stallion?”
“It’ll go away by itself in a few days, it’s only temporary, but a stallion seems to have the greatest effectiveness if you wish for the symptoms to go away quicker. Really though, any sort of...ahem...intimate contact will do it.”
“And I have to walk around in public like this?”
“Oh it’s not all that obvious…”
“Look me in the eye and tell me it’s not obvious.” Glenn stared at Rarity, who had the decency to blush, “Great. Just great. I’m going to get hit on by every randy stallion from here to Equestria, aren’t I?”
“It doesn’t help you sway your hips and tail like that when you walk.”
“I’m swaggering! It’s manly!”
“You’re a filly and it’s enticing.”
Glenn facehoofed, “You promised help?”
“Help is on its way as we speak!”
“Help has arrived.” Said yet another new voice. There was a smell of burnt ozone in the air and a purple unicorn with fetching bangs walked out of the undergrowth.
“Twilight! I’m so glad they sent you!” cried Rarity.
“Hello Rarity, what seems to be the problem here?”
“This filly says she was a man.”
“Oh dear…are you sure?”
“Well she didn’t have a face-mane like most of the alpha males seem to have and seemed to have plenty in the hip area like most females…Naturally I assumed…”
“I was chubby! And not all men have beards!”
Twilight levitated a datapad out of a bag and waited whilst it plumbed itself in to the network. When it finally connected and synchronized, she pulled up Glenn’s data and the information on the ponification itself.
“That’s strange. Male, early thirties…filly, earth pony. It checks out.”
“This is NOT checking out! Checking out is what’s happening to me NOW!”
Twilight looked up from her datapad and apologized, “I mean…sorry, I mean the system agrees. The computer says you were a man and now you’re a filly.”
Glenn rolled her eyes, “I’ve been trying to tell you that!”
“But why? Rarity, what went on in this session? You said she was a graduate?”
“Yes, yes she was. We talked, she drank the potion…” Rarity recounted, tapping a hoof on her muzzle.
“Yeah, it tasted like cherries. You said it would taste like grape.” Glenn looked at Rarity, who blushed.
“It does, the standard stuff anyway. We have…wait, cherries? What colour was it?” Twilight swung her head to and fro between Rarity and Glenn.
“Uh, red. Bright red. Cherry red, in fact.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite sure.” Glenn nodded his – her – head.
“Rarity…where did you get that potion?”
“It was from the…from the head technician’s office. In the cabinet. It said it was a standard ponification potion! I didn’t think it would matter.”
“Oh by Celestia’s beard…solution R63? Not P42X?”
“I…think it may have said R63…”
“Rarity! No! That’s the original version of the potion! Before it was fully perfected!”
“You gave me experimental potion?? What’s it going to do to me? Am I going to die? I am, aren’t I?”
Twilight did her best to calm Glenn down, “No, no, nothing like that. It’s okay, it’s safe. Entirely safe…it just has one teensy little tiny side-effect.”
“Don’t tell me...”
“Well human to pony genetic transfer is difficult, okay? We started with a template, and that template was female. Female genes are XX, male are XY. It was easier to develop it with females in mind at first. It was never supposed to be used on a male human! It’s perfectly safe, it’s just…apparently it turns you into a female pony. I’m sorry! It didn’t know the difference, it thought it was just another step in the process!”
“Well undo it! Change me back!”
“That’s why I’m here, I’ll do what I can.”
“Well do it!” Glenn said, stamping her pert little front hooves.
“It’s not that easy, champ,” said Twilight, “this is going to take some fine work from our top ponies in ponification. I’m concerned about residual effects so we’re going to have to make sure the potion’s flushed from your system first, and then that your cellular matrix has stabilized. You don’t want me to try anything before you’ve stabilized, trust me.”
“Why? What would happen?”
“It was explained to me this way - have you ever over-whisked an egg-white? First it’s just the clear stuff that you beat with a whisk until it becomes lovely and white and fluffy?”
“I’ve…seen it done.”
“Well if you carry on beating it, eventually it’ll break down.”
“Break down?”
“liquefy again.”
“are you saying, if you tried to turn me into a male and I’ve still got that potion inside me, it would melt me?”
“…kinda?” said Twilight, ears drooping.
Glenn facehoofed, “I don’t wanna melt! I just want my bait and tackle back!”
“Then you’re going to have to come with me.”
“Okay, okay, by the time we get to Equestria I’ll be able to be changed back.” said Glenn, pacing around in circles, sorting things out in her head. This could work, it would only be a few days, and then everything would be normal again. Sort of, she realised, I mean after all I’ll still be a pony...
“Not quite...Rarity, you too. You messed this up, you’re going to have to help sort it out.”
“What do you mean, not quite? Equestria is miles away! I can’t fly, not that I could manage that sort of distance even if I could…”
Twilight looked at the newfoal mare, “How do you think I managed to get here so fast? We’re going the express route. We’re going to teleport.”

***

Midnight Shadow glanced at the pictures in front of him and shook his head. He finished up his notes and made sure to dot all the I’s and cross all the T’s. If he didn’t, he was quite sure Luna would send him back to first grade again. He’d graduated to “unofficial second teacher” from “overly large student” at Cheerilee’s school, now that she’d established that Luna had her hoof amusingly entangled in to the mixup that had left him a pupil of hers. Not that she ceased giving him timeouts, though he was pretty convinced she did it just because she found his snoring hilarious.
Luna was visiting, too, making sure to check up on his work at every opportunity and distract him with strange questions about Earth. He was pretty sure she knew far more than she let on, but she was his employer and a princess of the realm to boot.
“Luna? I think I’ve discovered why your breeding pair of humans in that zoo aren’t breeding.”
“Oh? It’s been baffling our zoo keepers for months.” Said the princess as she lightly glided down the stairs.
“Really? Surprising.” Midnight finished putting the finishing touches the scroll and rolled it up.
“Can’t you just tell me?” laughed Luna, an amused smile on her muzzle.
“No, no, it’s best if you read it for yourself. Here you go.” Midnight levitated the scroll to the moon princess with ease – he’d improved since his early efforts and was now a passable unicorn telekineticist, if a little overzealous with his field-effect at times.
Luna unfurled the scroll, making much of a muchness about settling her reading glasses on her nose and scanning through the text. Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with a hoof to stifle a raucous giggle, “Really?”
“Really.”
Luna burst out laughing, “Oh this is excellent news. I can’t wait to tell Celly!”
“You’re going to tell Celestia?” squeaked Midnight, “But…”
“Oh yes, I am so going to tell my bigger, wiser sister Celestia all about this!”
“Please don’t, just let me…let me rewrite that second paragraph…”
“The one about whoever authorized the transfer being a complete nincompoop ignorant of basic human anatomy?”
“Yeah, that one, I don’t want anypony getting in trouble with Celestia.”
“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. Celestia herself authorized it.”
Midnight almost swallowed the spoon in his cup of tea as Luna fled the building, calling for Spike.
“I’m dead…she’s going to turn me into a newt…she’s going to re-upholster her throne…” He sunk to his hindquarters and buried his head in his forehooves on the desk.
There was a bright flash outside the library and the sound of a pony unsuccessfully attempting to retch. Midnight got up and went outside.

“Ugh, that was awful.  I never want to teleport again!”
“Glenn, dear…”
“I…I don’t want to be Glenn any more. I’m going to call myself…Midnight. I saw it in a pony name book and thought it looked awesome.”
“That’s a wonderful name for a filly! Midnight Glen!” said Rarity eagerly.
Midnight Shadow slammed the door open, “It’s a stallion’s name too! It’s modern!”
“Midnight..uh..Glen, meet Midnight Shadow, Usurper of my library.” said Twilight wryly, “He’s angsty about having given himself a filly’s name.”
“It’s modern! I keep telling you!” the dark blue unicorn stallion stamped a hoof angrily.
“Midnight’s a filly’s name?” asked Midnight, of Midnight.
Midnight Shadow hung his head, “Kind of. What’s the problem with it? You’re an attractive filly – I’m not sure if it suits you with that colour-scheme, but…”
The chestnut-brown and burgundy-maned earth-pony ran off crying, much to Midnight’s bafflement, “What? What did I do?”
“I’ll…explain later. Rarity, you go find her. I’ve got to find the princess.”
Midnight Shadow, Twilight, Luna and Celestia sat around the library table. Midnight hadn’t been sure about letting coffee into the library, but seeing as Twilight’s number one assistant - his gaming buddy Spike – was a fire-breathing dragon that lived in the treehouse filled with flammable paper scrolls and books, he didn’t think the odd cup of coffee would cause too much consternation.
Luna sipped her tea maliciously, idly smoothing out the creases in a familiar scroll. Midnight kept his head low, fearing to meet Celestia’s gaze. Twilight was babbling on about using the wrong potion to an attentive Celestia, who was drinking coffee.
“…And so, there was a bit of a mix-up with the potions. Rarity didn’t know and I should never have allowed such samples to remain active and within reach. The ponification was perfect, flawless even…but as expected we saw a deviation in certain physical characteristics of the subject in question.”
“You mean we got the wrong sex.” said Luna with a smirk. Midnight almost choked down the spoon for the second time that day. His coughing fit caused concerned looks in all but Luna, but he waved them off.
Celestia nodded, finally, “Quite the mixup, but relatively easy to fix. I’ll perform the spell myself, but perhaps you should work on some potion, Twilight, for simplicity’s sake. Changing attributes like that is complicated magic, I’d rather the first such spell on a newfoal was performed by me, unless you wish to chime in about my…abilities, Luna?”
“Oh no, no,” coughed Luna, politely hiding her mouth behind a hoof, “I’m sure something like that is relatively simple for you.”
“Good. Good. Now off you go – I think you have to prepare for tonight’s moonrise, little sister, and Twilight has to read up on her transformational matrix stabilization spells if she is to assist me. I wish to have a quick private chat with Midnight here…”
Midnight whimpered as the goddess opened the front door to the library and stepped carefully back inside, “Oh please, please, please don’t send me to the moon! Or turn me into a newt!”
Celestia blinked, “Why on Equestria would I do that?”
“I…I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was you!”
“No, no,” Celestia laughed lightly, “it’s all in good fun.  I must admit you were quite correct; when I read the official papers I had mis-read a very important part. John and Cherry were our chosen pair, or at least that’s what I thought it said. John declined to state his sex – something about gender equality on the Earth side of the fence.” She gave an amused laugh, eyes twinkling, “I’ve just found out Cherry’s real name is Terry, He has terrible hoofwriting. I thought Terry put ‘mare’ when all along it said ‘male’.”
“And your zookeepers..?”
“Were baffled. They were entirely too polite to ask something like that and didn’t think it was necessary. It’s the face-manes, you see. John has one and Terry doesn’t.”
“A beard.”
“Indeed, and is quite the…quite the alpha male, or so I hear.”
“Oh…oh! So they’re…”
“Yes, they may not be exactly a breeding pair, but…”
“They like to practice?”
“Quite.” Celestia drank the last of her coffee, “You will be discrete about this, won’t you?”
“Oh, yes – I’m sure Glenn doesn’t want her predicament spread about, and bad press over this…news of a mixup with the R63 version of your potion wouldn’t go down well. It could, however, see some uses in specialist circumstances…”
“That wasn’t what I meant, but you have given me some food for thought.”
It dawned on Midnight that Celestia was apologizing for the mix-up at the zoo. He looked down at the table and drank his tea. It was cold, “It was a simple mistake, I guess – it was hard for me as a human to tell the difference between colts and fillies too, at first…”
Celestia laughed and turned around to leave. She looked back over her shoulder, “One day I’ll get the hang of it with humans too.”
> The Missing Month
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 2


The Missing Month


***

Glenn opened her eyes and yawned. For a moment she just lay there, blinking. It was the sudden hoof to the face as she attempted to rub the sleep-dust from her eyes that brought reality back in a sudden rush. Ponification, Mare-ification... Twilight Sparkle, the teleport-hopping from quartet of unicorns to quartet as Twilight called in an emergency and a few favours, everything.
She threw back the covers of the wide, low bed and spread her hind-legs in dismay. Still gone. She missed it. Always there, ready, standing at attention at a moment’s notice. She mourned it like a lost pet. Instead were two shockingly-large - to her eyes at least - teats, and out of sight...the offending article itself. Plus the tail. Her tail was a wavy mass of burgundy shine dripping across the sheets. She flicked it idly, amused. Her hooves, dainty little things they were. She touched one to another, marvelling at how soft they were, how supple. She gently put her forehooves to the barrel of her chest, pressing lightly. Her fur - was it fur? Hair? She wasn’t sure. She was going to go with ‘fur’ until corrected - was soft and silken and despite the trials and tribulations of the day before was shiny and...perhaps even sensual to touch. She missed her fingers, she’d have enjoyed running them through this chestnut coat, tugging at the strands, teasing, ruffling...
“Oh! Oh, I’m...so sorry! What was I thinking!”
Glenn froze and her heart skipped a beat as Rarity had opened the door unannounced with a tray of what appeared to be breakfast hovering beside her. It wobbled, rattling the cutlery, but didn’t fall. The flustered unicorn beat a hasty retreat at the sight of Glenn’s morning bodily exploration.
Glenn face-hoofed and threw the blanket over her head, “I’m...decent now. You can come back in, Rarity!” her voice was muffled from beneath the covers.
“Are you sure dear? We all need our little alone time on occasion...”
“Quite sure,” came the hesitant reply, “I was just...curious.”
“Weren’t we all at one time or another...” replied Rarity, whimsically, as she re-entered the room.
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Could’ve fooled me, honey.” muttered Rarity with a giggle.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing. I...I made you breakfast. My way of saying ‘sorry ‘, for the whole mixup. You have no idea how embarrassed I was!”
“It...I guess it happens.”
“No,” said Rarity, tapping a hoof to her cheek thoughtfully, “can’t say it does. Anyway, since you’re still a newfoal, I thought a little girl-time - just you and me - would be in order. I’ll show you how to drink from a cup and we can practice brushing each other’s hair and oh! I have so many outfits for you to try on!”
“Rarity? I’m a guy. I don’t do hair-brushing and dresses.”
“Nonsense. You’re a pony now, do you have any idea how awful bedmane is? Why, even the most alpha of stallions has a whole slew of mane and tail brushes! Unless you want to go around looking like you’ve got a rats nest on your neck it’s a skill you’ll have to pick up.”
“...and the dresses?”
Rarity sniffed, “A girl’s got to have some fun.”
“Well...alright. But I’m not going out in public!” Glenn threw back the covers and did her best to cross her forelegs as she stared at Rarity.
Rarity pouted, her eyes grew big, water welled in those limpid pools...her bottom lip quivered...
“Oh enough! Enough! I give! ...But only if I’m pretty.”
Rarity clapped her hooves together, “I’ve got just the look for you!”

***

Glenn had been shipped off to Ponyville, Equestria. Rarity had either been feeling sorry for her or had been ordered to make amends, or both - so Glenn had been given the guest room above the unicorn’s shop, Carousel Boutique. Apparently Rarity was a dressmaker of more than average skill, as the closets in Glenn’s room were simply full to overflowing with hoof-made explosions of tasteful lace and finery. She’d not had much chance to look through them the night before, after all the excitement she’d collapsed into the bed provided and had been out like a light moments later. Now though, Rarity was stuck halfway in the main trot-in wardrobe, her rear-end bouncing up and down as she hummed with delight; she pulled out boots, saddles, girdles, straps, dresses and more. It was obviously going to be a long morning.
“Sis! Sis!” came a sudden excited voice, “I’m ready! I’m ready!”
“Ready?” came Rarity’s muffled voice, “Ready for what?” her tail stuck out straight and she froze mid-bounce.
“Aww! You promised!” The voice belonged to a foal, she was white like her bigger sister but her mane and tail were light pink and purple.
“Oh Sweetie Belle! I totally forgot! I promised to take you out on a picnic, didn’t I, when I came home? Oh my stars...I simply can’t dear! I have to help Glenn here...”
“But...you promised!”
“If you promised,” said Glenn, eyeing the mounting mountain, “you should keep it.”
“Oh but Glenn dear!”
“Don’t worry, you can show me the basics now and then we can...”
“Yay!” said Sweetie Belle, jumping up and down, “We’re all gonna go to the picnic! Just wait until I tell Apple Bloom and Scootaloo!”
“Hmm...well if that’s alright with you Glenn, we’ll have a day out instead. It’ll be nice for you to see the sights. Just give us a half hour, Sweetie Belle, whilst I get Glenn ready...Maybe two hours.”
Glenn opened her mouth to say “fifteen minutes” but instead managed, “Oh an hour would be lovely!”

***

The hardwood brush slicked through her mane, teasing out tangles and easing in a playful bounce. Rarity held the handle in her mouth with great skill and dexterity, tugging it through in smooth long strokes. Glenn’s eyes were closed in happiness as she lounged on a large set of pillows, hooves entwined with the unicorn’s as they sat muzzle to muzzle with Rarity’s beautification implements strewn around them.
“Now dear, isn’t that better?” the white unicorn murmured, levitating a small yet ornate mirror to where they could both admire the chestnut pony’s features. Glenn had to admit, for a pony she looked rather fetching. An idle hoof to her cheek, caressing the locks as they fell across her eyes, made her surprised expression complete.
Rarity put the brush down and pursed her lips. Her horn glowed softly as a small black bristled brush lifted from the equally small pot it rested in and hovered close to Glenn’s eyes. She flinched back.
“Come come, a little eyeliner will bring out the colour of your eyes, dear...that’s it...”
The brush made a few practiced flicks and was replaced with a powder-puff of soft pink blusher. Glenn sneezed as a cloud of colourful particles enveloped her head. When it cleared, she blinked at her reflection in awe.
“Rarity!” she said
“You...don’t like it?” asked the unicorn in a small voice.
“I...I didn’t know I could look like this...” Glenn reached out a hoof to the reflection, her soft hoof caressing her mirror-image.
“Just wait until you try on the dressage saddle I have picked out for you! I have a matching set!” The unicorn squealed with delight as she got to her hooves and cantered into her closet, returning a moment later with four sets of boots and two similarly-hued saddles.
Glenn raised one eye, “If you’d already picked those out, why did you have me try on the rest?”
“It’s those hips dear, you bring out last year’s summer collection gorgeously!”
Glenn rolled her eyes.

***

Glenn trotted through Ponyville wide-eyed. She threw her head left and right as she looked all around at the quaint pastel-coloured houses. Her tail swished as she trotted along the streets, bouncing from hoof to hoof.
“Are you swaggering again?” whispered Rarity under her breath as she eyed her younger sister and two foal friends carefully. They were speeding on ahead in a wagon pulled by a pegasus-powered scooter.
“I’m...I was going for enticing.” blushed Glenn
“It’s working!” giggled Rarity as she stole a look at the colts and stallions who were all but tripping over themselves to catch a glance of the new filly.
Glenn bounced happily, she didn’t know why this was so much fun, but she certainly knew it was.

The trip out of town to a sunny hillock was relatively short and peaceful. The three foals who, Glenn learned, called themselves ‘The Cutie-Mark Crusaders’ fell about rolling and jumping, playing tag. Every few minutes they’d huddle together and stare at each other’s flanks in disappointment before splitting off to play another variant on the same sorts of games all kids played. It suddenly dawned on Glenn that the three had blank flanks - as did she - whereas Rarity had three diamonds upon hers. In fact, realized Glenn, all adult ponies had marks on their flanks.
“Oh, that’s your cutie-mark,” said Rarity, “just about every pony has something that he or she is especially good at, and when they find that thing their cutie-mark appears. Sweetie Belle and her two friends - young Apple Bloom and Scootaloo over there - are pretty wrapped up in trying to discover theirs.”
“When will I discover mine?”
“I don’t know dear, but unlike my little sister, I hope you have enough of a head on your shoulders to look inside yourself rather than out.”

The picnic was slow and sedate. Rarity showed Glenn a few more beauty tips and proferred a special bowl for Glenn to put her food in until she grew more proficient with eating. It had a free-spinning edge that kept the bowl itself upright no matter why way the gripping part was held.
“Now that’s pretty handy,” said Glenn, “I wonder why we humans never thought of something like that?”
“I think it just suits ponies better.”

They ate their food in the glorious sunshine and talked. Glenn found herself yawning and put her head down on her forehooves. It was a position - on her stomach - which had never suited her before but as a pony it was just plain comfortable.
She was gently nudged awake some time later as Rarity was finishing packing away the remains. With audible cries of farewell and a loud buzzing noise the three foals disappeared into the distance, propelled once again by the young pegasus’ wings.
“I think I’ll head home, darling, how about you have a wander? I’m sure there’s plenty for you to see in Ponyville and it’ll give me a little time to get my shop in order.”
Glenn yawned, “Okay Rarity...”
Rarity fussed with one of her bags and levitated it over to Glenn, where it fastened itself around her neck, “Take this, it’s got a few bits in it so you can buy yourself a bite to eat. Have fun!”
With that, the white and purple-maned unicorn trotted off after the three foals, leaving Glenn to stretch and ease the kinks out of her body. Standing up carefully, Glenn gave a deep breath before moving. Whenever she thought about it, standing and walking became harder, so it took a conscious effort to stop thinking about it. She sidelined her thoughts into the ridiculous song “The Hokey Cokey” and let each leg move with the lyrics. She was still putting her left hoof in and right hoof out when there was a crack of thunder that startled the day-dreaming earth-pony and sent her crashing to the ground. With a shimmering clash and tinkle, the bits in her neck-purse spilled out into the dust.
“Ohhhh....damn it! Damn it! Ow!” Glenn said, trying to get to her hooves. Her left foreleg was sprained and it hurt to put weight on it. She tried to pick up the bits with her lips, but after she finally had one she couldn’t get it back in the purse. To top it off, it started to rain.
At least this way, she sniffed to herself, nopony will see me if I start crying. She knew she was being silly but It was so hard being a pony sometimes! She missed her thumbs. She missed having two legs. She missed being able to hold an umbrella! She hurt, she couldn’t even pick up her change and to top it off, she was going to get wet!
There was a soft thump next to her and she spun her head around to look up into the concerned blue eyes of a lime-green pegasus with an aqua mane and tail, “Sorry about that miss, need a little help?”
“I...I...my money. My hoof...you’re a pegasus!” Glenn squeaked.
The stallion turned his head to look at each wing which he spread wide, “Why, so I am!”
“I mean...uh...but...”
“Pointe Vertigo,” said the pegasus, bowing his head before bending to pick up a few of the coins strewn around, which he placed into her purse, “now you.”
“Glenn...M-Midnight Glenn. You can call me j-just Glenn.”
“Just Glenn is a bit of a strange name for a pony. You’re a newfoal, huh?”
“You can tell?” Glenn shrunk back nervously.
“Missy, when a grown filly such as yourself arrives in town looking as pretty as that and I don’t know who she is, and she has trouble picking up coins not to mention gets startled by a thunderbolt...I can kinda tell. I’m clever like that.”
“You don’t...mind?”
“Mind what? Come on, let’s get out of the rain. We’ll sit a while, I’ll buy you a drink.”

The stallion deftly picked up the remainder of her coins, bouncing them off his wings as he showed off, flicking them into her purse. He then spread one large wing over her head and haunches as wide as possible to keep the rain off and motioned towards a cafe set under a broad tree. She sat down awkwardly, still nursing her foreleg, as Vertigo shook himself dry before joining her.
“Cup of coffee? We never really had it before, but now you newfoals are starting to arrive it’s getting more popular.”
“Yes please, Vertigo.”
They sat in silence for a while. Vertigo sipped demurely at his cup whilst Glenn struggled to get it in her muzzle. She spilled quite a bit and blushed as Vertigo giggled at her behind a hoof.
“You’re cute when you’re trying so hard. Let it come. Use your teeth... ‘ike ‘is... ‘en ‘oose ‘ur ‘ips.”
Vertigo expertly lifted the cup, but brown liquid dribbled down his chin as he exaggerated the movements. Glenn burst out laughing and lifted a napkin with her muzzle, dabbing it against the spill. She moved slowly up his neck and down under his chin until her muzzle met his in an accidental kiss. She froze, blushing, when she realised what she was doing. She dropped the napkin and turned to flee.
“Wait! That was...can I see you again?”
Glenn stopped, torn, and turned her head, “Tomorrow! Same place!” then she fled.

Rarity looked up as the door slammed open and Glenn sped upstairs, she barely had time to start calling a greeting before the frantic earth pony was gone. Rarity blinked and resolved to let nature take it’s course. Whatever had Glenn so worked up, she’d talk about it later. On the other hoof, some company might be just what was needed...
Glenn slammed her door closed and locked it with her teeth before she even knew what she was doing. She sat back on her haunches, panting, her abused leg aching and her heart beating triple-time, staring at the door.
I’m a guy, I’m a guy, I’m a guy! reverberated in her head. He liked women. She liked stallions. No, wait...girls. Females. Their long hair, pert buttocks...big strong shoulders, those wide feathery wings, his wonderfully blue eyes... She shook her head. She turned to look in the mirror, “Repeat after me Glenn,” she said to her reflection, “you’re a guy. You like girls. You’re butch, you’re manly...oh lord your mane is a mess and you’re going to see Vertigo tomorrow and you’re going to look a mess! Get a hold of yourself!”
Glenn head-butted the mirror softly, “Why did he have to be so...so...ugh! What’s wrong with me!?”
There was a soft knocking at the door, it was Rarity, “Glenn dear? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I...I’m sorry Rarity, let me open the door.”
“If you’re...you know...I can come back?”
“Rarity!” whined Glenn, “I...don’t...I’m not!”
The door opened and a sheepish Glenn peered out at Rarity, who had one hoof raised ready to knock again, “Can I come in? Is anything the matter?”
“Of course you can come in...I just...it rained, and...”
“And you didn’t want anypony seeing you looking,” she chuckled, “under the weather?”
“You could say that. I also hurt my leg.”
“It looks like it, you’re a mess dear. I tell you what, take it easy for today - I think you’ve had quite enough excitement by the look of you - and go to bed early. I’ll treat you tomorrow morning to one of my favourite pastimes, and I won’t even make you try on too many dresses.”
“I can’t wait.” said Glenn, and surprised herself by realising she meant it.

***

“So where are we going?” asked Glenn
“It’s a surprise! If I told you, what sort of surprise would it be? Besides, we’re almost there...”
They walked a few more blocks in silence before Rarity took them through a side-street to walk out in front of a large, brightly-coloured building. The words ‘Ponyville Day Spa’ adorned the front and Rarity squealed with glee, “I do so love the spa! I usually come here with Fluttershy, don’t tell her I sneaked in an extra visit, she’s such a good spa-buddy.”
“Somehow I don’t think she’ll mind,” said Glenn, giggling. She’d never have guessed ponies would have, let alone enjoy, a spa.
“Aloe? Lotus? Rarity is here! And I’ve brought a friend! The usual, ladies, if you please!”
“Zut alors, madame!” said a bright pink pony with light blue mane as she zipped up to assist Rarity and Glenn.
“Zis is...an emergency!” said a second pony, light blue coat and bright pink mane, appearing equally quickly.
Glenn blinked, “Sisters?”
“Oui! Zat is correct! Madame, zis way, we have ze beauty emergency! To ze makeup station! Stat!”

There was a steam-filled hiss as Rarity threw more water on the sauna. Glenn wasn’t sure if ponies sweated, but it was certainly making her pant. The door opened and a dapper young earth stallion clip-clopped in, easing himself up onto the boards.
“Rarity!” hissed Glenn
“What, dear?” asked Rarity, opening one eye.
“He’s...I’m...we’re naked! Isn’t he in the wrong sauna-booth?”
Rarity blinked, “Glenn dear, as Twilight is so fond of reminding me, we ponies don’t wear much even when we’re not in the sauna...but if you’d rather sauna in private I’m sure he can be persuaded to change.”
Glenn blushed, “Sorry, it’s just...I’m not used to...”
“I’m right here, you know, madame.” said the earth pony, flicking his tail, “I do apologize. I shall change booths at once.”
“No, no, please stay.” replied Glenn, “It was very inconsiderate of me.”
“Yes, do, there’s plenty of room.”
“Do let me know if I’m intruding on you two lovely fillies. Let me introduce myself first though. I’m Doctor Whooves, my daughter Colgate has finally persuaded me to give this spa-thing a try.”
“And...er...do you like it?” asked Glenn.
“It’s not really my thing, but now I’m here I shall take my all. It can’t hurt to be pampered once in a while.” the earth pony closed his eyes with a sigh.
“Oh? I thought...all ponies like a wash and brush up?”
“Hmm?” asked the relaxing pony, “Well, you think you get a mane like this by leaving it windswept? But no, morning ablutions notwithstanding, the spa isn’t for everypony - I think I’ll leave that to gorgeous visions like your good selves in the future.”
“Sweet talker.” tittered Rarity, but she gave Glenn a satisfied look.
Glenn stuck her tongue out, “Rarity? Do you know where the bathroom is?”
“Oh, the facilities? Out the door, turn left and you’ll find a corridor. I think they’re at the end.”
Glenn trotted out. She trotted back in a few minutes later without saying a word.
“Is everything alright, Glenn darling?”
“I...turned right instead of left,” replied the earth pony stiffly, “apparently you don’t have mixed-gender bathrooms.”
Rarity tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a giggle.

“Oooohhhhh that’s so nice...oh yes...just like that...” Glenns voice reverberated oddly, as a couple of deft hooves were clip-clopping up and down her back, smoothing tensed muscles and releasing tension. She was feeling pretty darn wonderful. They’d brushed her mane, pampered her hooves, applied a muzzle-pack and cucumbers, she’d spent a relaxing time in the steam room and was now getting a full flank massage.
“Oh madame, your mane, eet is so luxurious!”
“I owe it all to Rarity,” sighed Glenn happily, “and you two”. Manhood be damned, this felt good, “oh I could spend all day here!”
“Oh I know darling, it’s just wonderful.”
“Wait...what time is it?”
“Why, it’s about three...”
“Oh no! I’m late!”
“Late? Whatever for?” Rarity looked up - well, she raised her head and glanced in Glenn’s general direction. The cucumbers made actual seeing rather difficult.
“No-nothing...I just...gotta go! Thank you Rarity, thank you Lotus, Aloe!”
“We will be seeing you again some time, yes?”
“I...yes!” Glenn squeaked, and bolted.

Pointe Vertigo walked about in circles around the tree-house cafe. She said she’d be coming. She hadn’t come. Was it something he’d said? Something he’d...she hadn’t found out, had she?
With a sudden clatter of hooves, the chestnut mare with the bouncy burgundy mane came to a halt, breathing hard, in front of him. He broke into a wide smile, “Hey Glenn! I was...I thought you were mad or something...”
“No, I...” Glenn paused to catch her breath, “I was...tied up.”
“It’s always the quiet ones.” said Vertigo, with a smirk. Glenn’s mouth dropped open and then she blushed. “Hehehe, gotcha. So today, seeing as we both made such a mess, I’ve bought you a soda.” Vertigo turned and lifted a glass bottle filled with fizzing liquid onto the table. He’d had it kept cool specially for Glenn in a bucket of ice. He nosed it over and added a straw, “I thought this would make it easier for you. And one for me, too.”
Glenn smiled as Vertigo deftly slotted another straw into the drink and bent the top. He nosed it closer still, “Ladies first!”
Glenn shuffled closer, awkwardly, and bent her head to drink. Pointe Vertigo eased himself closer too and bent his neck similarly. Muzzle to muzzle, they sipped as the afternoon wore on around them.

***

The weeks carried on much as it had started. Rarity would wake up Glenn with breakfast and they’d brush each other’s mane and tail. Glenn would almost fall asleep after a good brushing, and often Rarity would sneak out, leaving the earth filly snoring gently. By the third or fourth day, Glenn had asked about having chores to do, and was all too happy to help around the shop. Rarity, however, was a bit of a lone bird and was determined to do things herself in her own way, and gently but firmly nosed Glenn out the front door. There hadn’t been many newfoals in Ponyville compared with other districts, but they did have a newfoal indoctrination system. She was whisked from job to job to see which suited her best. She bucked apples on Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack, she tended small furry creatures with Fluttershy, she even tried making cakes with the Cakes but only Pinkie Pie would eat them. Pinkie tried to insist it was just ‘her style’ but since her style consisted of burning muffins and creating rock-cakes so rocky even the birds avoided them, she knew cooking wasn’t her thing. Every day though, she would finish in the early afternoon and accidentally wander into Pointe Vertigo. Sometimes she had to wander quite far before she’d bump into him accidentally, but such was the way of things. Every morning she’d convince herself that today, she’d tell him, and that he was just a friend. Every day she’d just end up mooning over the thought of his big strong wings enveloping her in their softness and her tongue would refuse to move the way she wanted.

It was the end of the third week when, during the afternoon, she met Vertigo at a strange building with the picture of two crossed bugles on a sign outside it. A great plume of smoke led off into the sky.
“Hey princess,” said Vertigo, smiling, “I’m glad you could make it! I’ve been wanting to show this to you for ages but I couldn’t get the stuff.”
“Stuff? What stuff?” asked Glenn as she came to a nervous halt.
“Well, I’m a pegasus.”
“Yeah, I figured that out the first time I saw you, remember?”
“Shush you.” said Vertigo, and kissed her on the forehead. Despite herself, she blushed again, “Anyway! I’m a pegasus, we can walk on clouds as well as fly. Some of us, amongst other things, control the weather. Others of us deliver the mail.”
“You’re going to show me the post-office?” asked Glenn, raising an eyebrow.
“No! I’m getting to the good bit. Shush.” he kissed her again to silence her. It always worked. “Some of our delivery mares and stallions are earth ponies, or unicorns. They generally don’t fly too well.”
“So?”
“Do I have to kiss you again?”
“...Yes.”
He did so, “As I was saying, some of our deliveries are...up in the air. So, some clever unicorns once came up with a spell to allow unicorn and earth ponies - such as your beautiful self - to walk on clouds.”
Before she could react, he pulled his hoof out of a pouch and blew on it. A cloud of glitter surrounded Glenn and stifled her protests. She sneezed. When she didn’t melt into a pile of puddled pony, she breathed a sigh of relief, “What...what did you do?”
“Come, come with me. Please.”

He led the way around to the back of the building, and up some wide stairs onto the roof. He gestured at the billowing column of smoke, “Walk this way, sugar, one hoof in front of the other.”
“You mean...on there? Up there?”
Vertigo nodded, stepping lightly onto the cloud as if it were solid. Glenn prodded it. The light fluffy stuff felt like cotton wool, soft and warm, and though it yielded, it had a texture and toughness to it, “Are you sure this can hold me?”
“Quite sure. That’s it, the rest of your dainty, lovely little hooves...perfect. See? Feel safe?”
“You sure I won’t fall?”
“Not with me, you won’t...and if you do,” he looked down at her, framed by the setting sun, “I’ll catch you.”
Glenn bit her lip, and then made her decision. She eased herself under his wing and gave him a kiss on his cheek, “Show me.”

He led the way up the spiraling tower of smoke as if it were a staircase. Though the column spread out as it lifted, Glenn never once felt her hooves fall through but the tiniest amount of cloud. Below her stretched all of Ponyville, and then all of Equestria. As the sun set behind them, they turned to watch the moon rise. She shivered slightly in the cooling night air, so Vertigo put his wing around her, pulling her close.
“It’s beautiful.” said Glenn, “I love...” she bit her lip, “watching all this with you.”
“I love you too.” whispered Vertigo in her ear, and kissed it.
Glenn leaned her head onto his neck and sighed, cuddling closer to the warm, strong stallion, “I love you too, too.” she replied, her last objections fading away as the stars came out.


> A Grand Day Out
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 3


A Grand Day Out


***

Glenn sat in her room above Rarity’s shop looking at herself in the mirror. The room was dark. With only a few candles around the frame, her features were barely visible. She sat and looked at her reflection with a forlorn expression on her muzzle.
“Glenn? Honey? Are you still up?” called Rarity, clip-clopping her way lightly up the stairs.
Glenn turned her head, sniffling, “Go ‘way.”
“Don’t be like that, let’s talk about it. You’ll be seeing Twilight tomorrow, I think we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate what? Becoming a pony was a dream. Now it’s turned into a nightmare. What am I supposed to do?”
Rarity paused, one forehoof lifted from the floor as she sought to come up with a suitable answer, “I thought it was what you wanted? I used the wrong potion on you and it...had a side-effect you hadn’t planned on. Celestia and Luna have been investigating for the last month for a way to reverse that side effect. What could be simpler?”
Glenn looked at the mirror, bringing a hoof up to the cold, hard, smooth surface and stroking it gently, “I wish it were that simple.”
Rarity blinked, “Oh, oh my, so this is why you’ve been so secretive the last couple of weeks. Do you want to tell me about...him?”
Glenn blushed, “he’s...” she began, turning her head away from the mirror, away from Rarity’s reflection, “he’s a pegasus, in the weather patrol. Pointe Vertigo. He’s just...”
“Dreamy?”
Glenn bobbed her head, “He’s big and strong and...”
“And you think about him?” prompted the unicorn.
“I shouldn’t!”
“Why not? You’re a mare, he’s a stallion...”
“But I’m not!” wailed Glenn
“But you are though,” said Rarity, “and you should be what you are.”
“Aren’t I going to change that tomorrow afternoon?”
Rarity sighed, “Are you sure you want to?”
Glenn blinked, “I...but...I should want to, shouldn’t I? I’ve been waiting for this for over a month!”
“Darling,” said Rarity, “you may have been waiting for a month, but I think you can wait for a few days more. It was a minimum you had to wait for the potion to leave your system, not a maximum. Perhaps...perhaps a day out is in order? Get yourself out of your skin, so to speak? Midnight’s got some tasks at the zoo. A day out might be just what the doctor ordered, settle those nerves, clear your head. Besides, I’ve got some simply gorgeous outfits I wanted to show off and you’ve got quite the hips for them.”
“If I didn’t know better,” said Glenn, eyeing the immaculately-coiffured unicorn, “I’d suspect you had this in mind all along.”
“You wound me, darling, you wound me to the quick!”
“It’s true though, isn’t it?”
“Oh this is going to be so much fun! I’ve got a sun hat and a simply wonderful dressage saddle and matching booties!” Rarity squealed with joy and pranced down the stairs, “Don’t you worry, auntie Rarity is going to make you look absolutely stunning for your beau!”
Glenn rolled her eyes as she blew out the candles, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

***

“Here we are,” whispered Bonzai the earth-pony, straightening his pith helmet with a hoof, “secreted near the lair of the bonded pair of homo sapiens sapiens. A fragile species, they walk on two legs instead of the normal four and have an easily-damaged epidermis and little in the way of innate weaponry or armour. Instead, they rely on their intellect. Come on Shutter, let’s get a bit closer, see what they’re up to. Crikey!”

The earth pony was brown, with a darker brown tail, blonde mane and dark brown eyes that matched his pith helmet. His companion - carrying a specially-adapted camera mounted on his shoulders - was a deep green with black mane and tail. Bonzai the explorer jinked a bit as the door to the house opened, and ducked lower against the ground, “The alpha male can get a bit stroppy, so me an’ Shutter are gonna lay low until we can assess the situation. Strewth he’s a biggun!”

John yawned, stretching. It was another gorgeous day in Equestria. He’d known they had good weather in the strange bubble-universe-island, but every time he woke up to fresh air that smelled of flowers and cut grass instead of exhaust fumes and grime, he sighed with happiness. He blinked, that daft pony with the big game hunter hat was back again, with friends. Scratching an armpit and giving an investigatory sniff, he eyed the creature half-obscured by the undergrowth.

“Here we see the daily morning ritual of the alpha male human. Watch now as the proud specimen surveys his kingdom and proclaims his mastery over his territory with a series of audible calls.” Bonzai whispered, turning between the camera and the semi-naked human yawning in the dawn light.

John yawned again, loudly, and stretched. He picked up the newspaper that the ponies were kind enough to deliver. He could read a little Equestrian, and Equestria Daily was his favourite national rag. There was just so much about the ponies’ world, every day of the week. Almost too much pony. He flipped open the newspaper and began to read the sports column. He stretched one foot and then the other out, wriggling his toes.

“As the male prepares for the day, he indulges in a pre-mating dance to catch the eye of the female, who is still asleep in her nest, deep within their abode. She will soon awaken as the sun rises, and be ready to greet the day.”

John had had enough. He realized the intruders were filming him yet again. “I see you there! Gerrof out of it!” shouted John, picking up his boots and throwing them as he ran at the semi-hidden hooved menaces. The two ponies bolted, they were indeed brandishing a camera which the wielder attempted to point backwards towards the frustrated human as they made good their escape.

“Crikey! I think that’s enough fer now, Shutter! He almost ‘ad us! Until next time, this is Bonzai, from Bonzai’s Big Game Hunter Show, signing off!”

John stopped at the edge of the enclosure and shook his head, grinning, as the two trouble-makers hoofed it into the distance through the growing crowds that were filling the zoo. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go further - there was no real enclosure as such, just a fence to keep the ponies out - but that he couldn’t.
He thought back to when the ponies had appeared; their strange island, protected by what looked like a giant soap-bubble. The shock of talking, pastel-coloured equines. The global furor and then the sensational news of humans becoming ponies and finally journeying to the fabled land of Equestria.
He sipped his coffee, idly wiping the spots from where his energetic exertions against intruding equines had spilled some. His new home had a similar bubble, albeit in miniature. The barrier separating his type of reality from the ponies’ was altogether impermeable to humans - but was no more than an afterthought to them. The arrangement by which he and Terry had been brought to Equestria had been very complicated for what looked on the outside to be a simple case of moving house. It had involved a team of unicorns, some sort of anchor-stone made from some rare minerals and a complicated spell that even beaded the heavenly brows of the two celestial sisters.
John drained his cup, there were worse places to be trapped in - and the two of them were trapped, albeit by choice. Besides, he thought to himself as he glanced back at the semi-naked snoring luscious lump on the bed, we can get out of here any time we choose...just not on two legs.

***

“Mama, Mama! I want to see the humans! The humans!”
“Really, Spinner, the humans again? We saw them last week!”
“But they’re so funny mama! Please? Puh-leeeeze? Pretty please?”
Flame Dancer smiled, “Well okay, Spinner, just as long as we don’t spend all day there and you don’t make silly faces again.”
“Awww mooooommmm!” the young pegasus complained, bouncing ahead of his earth-pony mother, “They like it when I make funny faces!”
“Well I don’t!”
Spinner sulked, dragging his mother along through the crowds, “You’re so unfair! I hate you! You never let me do anything fun!”
Dancer rolled her eyes with a pained expression on her muzzle and got a few sympathetic looks from similarly suffering parents as the anxious colt pushed his way through the crowd to stand at the wooden barrier between the worlds.
“Mom! Mama! Mommy! Ma!” called Spinner, jumping up and down and flapping his wings with every word.
“What?” hissed Dancer, exasperated.
“Which one’s the mare?”
“I...” Dancer blinked, “It’s the one without the face-mane, dear!” she said in a confident voice, after spending a few moments checking between the two.
“Oh, okay.” Spinner, chewing a few grass-stalks idly, “Cos I thought the human mares had bigger-”
“Spinner!” snapped Dancer with a blush, “If you don’t stop such silliness right now we’ll go home!”
Spinner pouted, spitting out the hayseed as a chestnut earth-pony mare trotted up next to him, flicking her burgundy mane out of her eyes. He looked up, “Are you here to see the humans too?”
She glanced down, and then up at a stunning white unicorn with shining purple mane who stepped primly up to the barrier next to her, before answering, “Yes, I suppose I am.”
Spinner glanced conspiratorially at the mare, “They like it when you make faces. Mama says I’m not allowed to.”
Despite herself, she giggled, “That’s good advice. If you make a funny face and the wind changes, you’ll be stuck like that.”
“I’d hate to be stuck funny-lookin’!” chirruped Spinner, but he made a silly face anyway.
“Spinner! You stop that! I’m sorry,” apologized Dancer, “he’s only a foal, his mouth runs away with him as often as his legs do.”
“That’s quite alright.” said Glenn
“If I may ask...who’s the lucky stallion?”
“I...uh...umm...” Glenn was quite flustered, she’d not been ready for small talk. Rather a strange idea to come in to such a crowded place and expect to be alone then, said a small voice in the back of her mind.
“Oh! Are you and...she...a couple?” Dancer pointed with a hoof to Rarity who was making googly eyes at a couple of hunky earth pony stallions.
“N-no, no, we’re just friends, my...stallion...is...”
“Late? As usual? Honey, they’re always late. Except when they’re too quick, you know what I mean, huh?” Dancer nickered in laughter and nudged Glenn.
“Er, I...uh...” Glenn was really getting flustered
“Oooohhhh, I see! First date, taking a friend for backup. Say no more! He’ll find you cute, I’m sure. I don’t think I got your name? I’m Dancer, by the way, Flame Dancer. This little bundle of trouble on hooves is Spinner.”
“M-Midnight Glenn.” said Glenn, giving a weak smile.
“Oh such a wonderful name for a filly - though really, with your colour scheme...I guess you were black as midnight when you were foaled, huh? Spinner was. Lovely filly name. Lovely.” Dancer turned back to the humans. The...mare...had come out of the little cottage they had and was canoodling with the alpha male. Strange how they both had face-manes, though only the alpha male kept his. The mare took great pains in shaving hers off. Dancer idly wondered why they didn’t let their coats grow in properly as a voice broke her concentration.
“It’s a stallion’s name too!” came a plaintive cry as a dark blue unicorn stallion with sunset-streaked mane clip-clopped up, snorting.
“Oh, he’s rather a handsome one, good catch.” whispered Dancer, sizing up the newcomer.
“That’s...he’s not...”
“Good morning Midnight,” said Rarity, giving the unicorn stallion a kiss on both sides of his big head.
“Good morning to you too, Rarity. Glenn.” he nodded to each in turn and then fussed with his bags, “I think we’ve got it sorted out, now. Celly and Luna are going to tag-team it since we’re working with the remainder of human nano-tech but substituting the entire set of routines with a base transmogrification spell, and bouncing the...”
Midnight looked up. He was being ignored, as usual. Rarity was making appreciative murmuring noises and Glenn appeared to have been hit with a silly stick. A large yet lithe light-green pegasus had alighted next to the trio. He trotted up to Glenn and, to Midnight’s surprise, gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Hey sugar, how’s my little earth pony princess today? Picked a good one. Have you lovely ladies had breakfast yet?”
Midnight blinked, then bit Rarity’s tail to pull her aside, “does...does he know?” he hissed.
“Does he know what dear?” murmured Rarity in an amused tone of voice.
“That she’s a filly?”
“I certainly hope so!”
“I mean...you know what I mean!”
“Midnight dear, if you so much as breathe a word in front of Pointe Vertigo here, you’ll wake up bald.”
“You wouldn’t!?” hissed Midnight, pulling back, putting a hoof to his precious colourful locks
“I would! Now, whatever you have to say to Glenn can wait until Prince Charming here is out of earshot, and seeing as she’s here to see him, that means you get to wait.” Rarity accentuated the demand by tapping the stallion on the chest with every syllable she hissed.
“What are you doing? She’s...they’re...I....but!”
“Midnight, Midnight, you should know me by now, when I see a perfect pairing like this, I can’t help myself. Just look at them!”
Midnight looked. The pair had drifted off to one side, Glenn was blushing and giggling, Vertigo was brushing the mane out of her eyes...
“Oh for goodness sake...when did this happen?”
“Whilst you’ve been hard at work finding the cure, she’s been hard at work trying to fit in. I think she’s done a better job than she realises.”
“What on Equestria am I going to tell the princesses? They’ll send me to the moon...again!”
“What are you going to tell the princesses what?” asked a regal new voice. Midnight looked up to see Celestia and Luna, flanked by royal guards, easing their way into the area.
“I...uh...think we may have to postpone the primary reason for your visit today.”
“Really? Oh well, can’t be helped. How about John and Cherry?”
Midnight did a double-take, “That’s it? You’re not going to send me to the moon?”
“I never said that,” giggled Celestia, “but for now, let’s keep all four hooves on the ground. Greetings Rarity, lovely as always. Good morning, Glenn dear, may I have the pleasure of being introduced to your companion?”
“Oh! P-Princess Celestia!” Glenn made an awkward bow with her forelegs, “This...this is Pointe Vertigo, one of Ponyville’s finest Weather Patrol Stallions.”
“Very pleased to meet you, Pointe Vertigo.” Celestia inclined her head in a friendly manner, looking up as Luna behind her stifled a giggle, “Close your mouth dear, you’ll catch flies.”
“You never told me you knew the princesses!” gasped Vertigo.
“Oh she does, we talk simply all the time.” prompted Celestia before Glenn could stammer out a word. Vertigo turned to Glenn, who could only nod dumbly.
“Why,” continued Celestia, “just the other day she was telling me about this handsome, talented flier and I thought I simply had to come meet you.”
Midnight face-hoofed in the background, making a ‘not you too’ expression.

Luna giggled and dragged him away, “So, what’s the story on John and Cherry?”
“Somepony really did mess up basic human anatomy, but thanks to Rarity’s mistake, we now can offer them something we didn’t know was possible before. We can offer not only ponification but the chance to start a family.”

***

John looked at the scroll in front of him, “You say...you can not only ponify us, but turn us into females if we want?”
Midnight nodded, “It’s a side-effect of a safe yet unplanned modification to the original ponification potion.”
“...and you want to give this modified potion to us?”
“Umm...if you want, I mean...uh...you talked on your induction forms about wanting to start a family, and...well...two males don’t...can’t...” Midnight blushed, he mimed some uncomfortable-looking actions and grinned hopefully. John face-palmed and started to laugh heartily. He gave the scroll to Terry, who gave it the once-over.
“We kind of thought,” said Terry after a while, “well we kind of planned on remaining stallions. Together. That’s allowed, isn’t it?”
“I don’t see a problem with it,” said Luna, “some old fuddy-duddies might have issues, but as co-ruler I give it my blessing. Love is hard to come by; when you find it, keep it.”
“But...making a family?”
“Can’t we adopt?”
Midnight and Luna shared a glance, “It’s...that’s a remarkably simple question, isn’t it?”

***

“So let me get this straight,” said Twilight Sparkle as she exited the shower. Midnight hid his head behind that day’s copy of ‘Equestria Daily’ and shuffled the papers nervously. Ponies never wore much, but the idea of a naked filly getting out of the shower, glistening with moisture...
“You mean to tell me that Glenn is thinking of staying a filly, even after all that hard work, and John and Terry are now ponies, with a little foal of their own?”
Midnight put the paper down on the table, opened on the centerfold. It showed a happy pair of earth pony stallions cuddling a little pegasus foal - his parents had died in a freak storm accident and as a result was more than a little scared of flying. Things were going to be tough, but for Equestria’s first newfoal adoption family, it promised to get better.
Twilight snorted, “Do you know how much work I put into that spell? I researched sex chromosomes and pituitary glands and everything!”
“I’m sorry, Twi,” said Midnight, “what can I say?”
“I say somepony is getting a sex change, that’s what.”
“Wait, what?”
Twilight produced a bottle of faintly cherry-smelling mixture, “Drink it! Now!”
“No! I don’t wanna!”
“You do and you will!”
“Nooooo!”

The silence of the lazy early night was broken by two unicorns dashing through ponyville, one in hot pursuit of the other. Spike watched them go from the balcony, “That Midnight, I don’t know what he does to drive Twilight so crazy.”
“Who?” hooted Owlowlicious, otherwise known as Hugo.
“Oh don’t you start.”

> Minisode 1 - ships in the night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Minisode 1 - Ships in the Night

***

“Midnight!” called Twilight, hammering on the bathroom door with one of her hooves, “Midnight Shadow! You come out right now!”
“No! I’m never coming out! I’m... hideous! I’m... everyone will see!” Midnight wailed from behind the door.
“I said I was sorry!” urged Twilight, ceasing her knocking for a few moments.
“You’re not! You’re not sorry!”
“I didn’t mean to actually get you with it..." said Twilight, turning her head and looking at the floor.
“You got me on the flank! Right on the flank!” came the plaintive cry from behind the door.
“So you’re a filly for... a while... you’re a big... uh... pony, you can take it. I mean look, I’m a filly!”
“But... you’re supposed to be!”
“Nopony will care, now will you come out here!”
“No! I’m going to stay in here until it wears off!”
“Ugh! Fine! Spike, I’m going out! Don’t wait up!”
The purple baby dragon peered out from beneath his blankie. Long ago he’d learned to hide when one of these rows started up. He wrapped it around himself tighter and fumed. It should have been games night, but now? Midnight was sulking in the bathroom, Twilight was out sulking around Ponyville and Spike was down a sparring partner. Trust Twilight to make an R63 potion that versatile that it worked on either sex pony. Efficient to a fault. Spike curled up, this would probably be a long wait.

Midnight sniffed, wiping away a tear and blowing her locks out of her eyes as she peered into the mirror. She... didn’t look too bad, really. Kind of cute, she supposed. “I mean... I’d date me, if I were... not me... I guess.”
Midnight hung her head, “That doesn’t even make any sense,” she said, looking back up into the mirror, “and now you’re talking to yourself. Argh I’m so... angry! Ruddy Twilight... humph. I’m so mad I could... I could... I’m so mad I could use an entire bottle of her favourite shampoo. Yeah. And her bubble bath..."
Soon after, there was the pleasant rushing sound of water entering a bathtub and the clatter of doors being opened and slammed shut and of bottles being placed around the plush facilities.
“Oh, hello, what do we have here? Twilight’s special toy, huh? Well, well, well... I’ll be having some fun with that I think.”

Twilight eased the door to the library open apprehensively, peering about. Silence. That was either very good, or very bad.
“Helloooo?” she called, “Anyone in?”
“Twilight?” answered Spike with a yawn as he stumbled out of the bedroom, still wrapped in his blue blankie.
“Where’s Midnight?”
Spike stretched and hunched himself into the comforter, “He’s... she’s still in the bathroom. She was bad enough before, now I think she’s worse than you!”
Twilight snorted and double-timed it up the stairs, stopping outside the bathroom, “Midnight? Are you still mad?” she called
Inside were strange noises. Grunting, huffing, panting. Twilight put her ear to the door, “Midnight? What are you doing?”
“Oh... almost... oh... that’s it... why won’t it... fit..." Midnight called, breathlessly
“Midnight?”
“Just a bit more... just a bit more... oh yes, like that... oh it’s so big! I... I can’t fit it all in!”
“Are you..? What are you..? Midnight!” shouted Twilight, stamping a hoof.
“It’s so slippery and rubbery... oh no... oh it’s stuck, I’ll have to... ease it out... oh yes, that’s right, now back in... turn it... unf... unf..."
“Oh. My. Celestia, you are! Stop it! Stop it at once! You’ll... you fiend! I’m coming in!”
There was a triumphant grunt and moan and the squeak of something rubbery and Midnight cried out, “Oh yes!”
Twilight unlocked the door with her magic and burst in, almost afraid to look. The dark blue unicorn mare with the sunset-coloured mane and tail was bent over the side of the bathtub, tail and hooves akimbo, as she reached down behind the bathtub to fish out a yellow rubber duck. She looked up in shock as Twilight burst in, “I’m sorry! I... was playing with your rubber ducky and he got... stuck behind the bathtub! I couldn’t reach and..."
“You... couldn’t get the duck out?”
“Eeenope. Got him now tho!”
Twilight sniffed in displeasure, “You were playing with Ducky? ... and is that my entire collection of ‘suds of delight’ I smell? YOU USED MY ENTIRE COLLECTION OF ‘SUDS OF DELIGHT’! I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO UPHOLSTERY!”
Midnight winced and sank into the bathtub almost up to her ears, “I’m sorry... they were so... lovely and... and I wanted to be pretty... and... and... and I don’t know how!” the blue mare burst into tears.

Twilight pouted, but she couldn’t stay mad for long at how recalcitrant the ex-stallion looked, “Well, you’d better get out, Midnight, or you’ll shrivel up. I’ll... teach you about makeup. Eyeshadow for example. I’m pretty sure you never wore eye-shadow before.”

Midnight shook her head and fussed with the shower-head, attempting to get the last of the soap out of her mane. Twilight giggled, “Here, let me do that... maybe we can have a girl’s night in? Would you like that? I really am sorry, you know..."

Midnight sank into the bathtub once more, now the only thing visible was her horn, but even her horn was blushing as she nodded the affirmative.

***

“Seeya later, Twi! I’ll keep an eye on Midnight, don’t worry!” called the dragon as Twilight clip-clopped down the street. After she was out of view, Spike shut the door and called out, “It’s okay! She’s gone! Now what were you planning?”
“A little payback for yesterday, Spikey, of the best sort. I’ll have her taste her own medicine. She made more R63 than she needed, and I’ve found out where she keeps it. We’re going to have a little party tonight, and then I’m going to prank her good and proper.”
“With the potion?”
“Of course with the potion!”
Spike made a few benedictorial signs against his chest, “When she asks, I know nothing.”

Midnight trotted down the happy streets of Ponyville, flicking her tail about. She had to admit, it was doing her good to get out of the stuffy library, as much as she liked slobbing around on the sofa and eating chips with her muzzle in the packet like it was a nose-bag... usually... for some reason it felt good to be out and about.
“Hey baby! Gimme some flank!” came a few catcalls, Midnight flicked her tail and trotted on, head held high. The nerve, she thought to herself. She started making plans for ponies like that; first she’d work out how to make the stuff, then she’d work out some way of weaponizing it. A few spritzers here or there... by the time she’d got to Sweet Apple Acres, she’d got the whole idea mapped out in her head. It would involve water balloons and laser-guided cannons. She almost didn’t notice Big Mac, and practically ran into him.

“Hey there li’l lady,” the stoic red stallion said, “don’t believe ah’ve seen y’around here before.”
Midnight looked up, and froze. Big Mac. She’d never really... looked at him before. A shiver went down her spine and her tail twitched involuntarily, “Big..." she squeaked, harrumphed, “Big Mac! I-It’s me, Midnight. It was an accident with a spell, Twilight..."
“Miss Twilight? I dunno, Midnight, Miss Twilight’s usually right good at spells.”
“Yeah, well, this one worked, it just wasn’t supposed to be work on me.”
“So,” Big Mac looked down at her, shuffled his hooves, “yer a purty filly... ah mean... ya look good. I mean, uh, you look okay.”
Midnight pouted, “Wasn’t on my list of things to do though.”
“Well, what’re you down for?”
“I just... wanted to invite you all to a party. S’time we had a get-together, it’s a surprise for Twilight. I want to invite all of you.”
Big Mac rumbled his assent and turned around, falling into step with Midnight, escorting her down the path to the farmhouse proper. Midnight shook her head, must not think of Big Mac’s strong shoulders. Must not think of strong hooves. You’re a stallion. You’re not a mare. Yes I know he’s dreamy... I mean no he isn’t! Dammit!
“Y’all okay there, Midnight?”
“Perfectly fine!” squeaked the mare, clearing her throat again, “I mean, ahem, totally fine.”

***

It was later that day. Preparations had been made. Everything was set.
“Good evening, Pinkie, just sneak in there... and ssshhh!”
“Oh this is going to be the bestest! I thought I was the only pony who made specially secret surprise parties but I’m so glad you invited me to this one cos surprise parties are the best types of parties and..."
“Ssshh! She might hear you! She’ll be along any minute!”
“Oh! Right!” Pinkie giggled and mimed a hoof passing across her muzzle, followed by some digging motions and something complicated involving construction. Midnight smiled despite herself.
Guests continued arriving. Fluttershy knocked so lightly Midnight almost didn’t hear her. She squeaked when the door was opened, “You... you really are a m-mare!”
“I am indeed! Come in!”
The next to arrive was Applejack, “Y’all seen Big Mac? Mah brother’s durn been missin’ all afternoon!”
Midnight nodded, “I had him run interference for Twilight, sorry. I’ll help buck apples tomorrow, okay?”
“Durn right ya will, missy!” Applejack stormed past, giving Midnight the evil eye. Midnight turned back to the door and came nose-to-nose with a skyblue, rainbow-haired pegasus.
“Midnight? Oh that is just too precious! Haaa haaa! You’re a little filly... harharhar! And are you... oh my gosh you are, makeup!”
“Rainbow Dash,” scolded Rarity, trotting in, “a girl should always strive to look her best!”
“Yeah, but when the girl is your boyfr- I mean... when the girl is a stallion? It’s too precious!” Rainbow giggled all the way in.
The last up was Big Mac. His knock on the door was loud and forceful, Midnight opened the door and looked up into those big green eyes and almost melted, before pulling herself together, “Hi-hi, Big Mac, come in. Where’s Twilight?”
“Twi’ll be along right soon, Miss Midnight.”
“Alright then!” cried Midnight, turning as Big Mac trotted in, “Everyone take your places!”
“Yippee! But first, there’s a whole bowl of punch I found Midnight! A toast to another party pony!”
“Wait? What? No!” cried Midnight, but it was too late. Everypony had raised a cup to their lips, apart from Big Mac and the dark blue unicorn herself, and drank. “Oh... horseapples.”

***

“Sooo... let me get this straight. Midnight found my R63 potion.”
“Uh huh.” replied Spike, nervously.
“And he thought he’d prank me with it..."
“Kinda?”
“But instead, everypony else drank it?”
“That’s about the all of it, Twilight... you mad?” Spike wrang his claws together, twirling a foot against the floor.
Twilight burst into laughter, “That is the most hilarious thing I’ve heard in my life! So, everypony is now... switched?”
“Well I’m not,” said Spike, “I’m too young for punch, and Big Mac isn’t cos he wasn’t in time. And you aren’t.”
“When I catch that delinquent unicorn, I’m going to..." Rainbow was fuming.
“Oh Dash, take it easy... or should I say Dashiel?” mollified Twilight, “I can reverse it, easy-peasy, just not today.”
“How long are we going to be... stuck like this?” asked a yellow pegasus.
“Flutter... guy... I’ll have to run some tests but it shouldn’t be that long,” Twilight smirked, then turned, “everypony? I’ll... I can fix this, just not tonight. Where’s Rarity?”
Pinkie Pie, who seemed totally unfazed by his new body, bounced around the purple unicorn, “I think he went to change clothes... maybe make clothes. He may be a stallion now, but he’s still a fashionista!”
“This... requires Tequila.” said Dashiel, breaking out a bottle and pouring himself a shot or two.
“I’m... really sorry, I didn’t mean..." said Midnight, taking the other shot.
“Ah, don’t sweat it, Twi can undo it.” another few rounds of shots went down. Another bottle was found - this one proclaimed itself to be rum.
“I really didn’t mean for... ooh, that’s warming... I really didn’t... you know, Dashiel, you make a pretty good stallion.”
“And you make a pretty cute mare.”
Two more shots went down. The red earth pony stallion joined them, trying to avoid his... brothers... eye. Pretty soon, everything was looking rather rosey and the party went ahead.

***

Midnight touched her belly, it was large and had been growing larger. She felt the movement under her hooves. She looked up at the doctor and he smiled, said a few placatory words, “it’s twins.”
“Twins? But... when? How?”
“I’m sure you know when, and how, Miss Midnight.”
“I... what?”

She was being wheeled into the hospital, spread-eagled on her back as a team of unicorns around her cast examinatory spells across her body. They shouted words like “pulse is good” and “blood pressure nominal” until the gurney came to rest in a large operating theatre.

Twilight stepped up in doctor’s smocks, “you should know better than to try to cross me. Now you’ll be the first stallion to give birth!”

“And I’ll be here to help! Her number one assistant!” said Spike, sharpening his claws on a grinding stone, sending sparks flying.

“Nnnnoooooooo!” Midnight awoke with a start, panting hard. Her mouth felt like something had died in it and the room swam sickeningly. Slowly her eyes focused, she was in a bed, under the sheets. One thing was sure, it wasn’t her bed. She eased herself out into the open air and blinked. There in front of her in the pre-dawn light was a sky blue pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane. He woke up.

“Midnight? What’s up?” he said, rubbing a hoof across his muzzle to clear his head.

Midnight gulped, “Did we? Last night?” she felt suspiciously sore.

Rainbow Dashiel’s muzzle broke into a wide, evil grin, “Oh yeah. Several times.”

“Oh horseapples.” swore Midnight, turning over to face away from the grinning pegasus. As she turned, she froze. There on the other side of her was a large red earth stallion.

“Oh... oh no. You too?”

Big Mac opened his eyes, he blinked for a bit and considered, “Eeeyup.”


> Mini-Minisode 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Mini-Minisode 1 - Here be Dragons

(you should probably read a twist in the tail first...or at least the minisode)

***

Twilight burst into her room, “You...you fiend! In my room! In my bed! Under my sheets! OUT! OUT! ALL...ALL THREE OF YOU!? YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!”
Twilight leaped around the room shouting incoherently until Rainbow Dashiel - grinning madly and cackling - along with Midnight Shadow and Big Mac fled for their lives. Dash sped outside and watched through the window. Big Mac came face to face with Applejack - the big red stallion shrunk back down until his ears almost met the floor at the glare his brother was giving him.
“Big brother... Imma hafta teach you a lesson... get back here!” said Big Mac’s little brother.
Big Mac fled, Applejack in hot pursuit with a bottle of something cherry-red in his muzzle.

Midnight peered apprehensively from the stairwell as Twilight fumed.
“I’ll have to disinfect them! No, no, worse! I’ll have to burn them! To think they... in my... with my... AUGH! SPIKE!”
Spike was hiding in the closet - well, to tell the truth he’d fallen asleep in the closet but didn’t feel much like coming out. Twilight slammed the doors open and picked him up with her magic.
“Wait...wait! Twilight!”
Twilight concentrated, and with an “urk!” Spike was stretched straight. Twilight grabbed him with her forehooves and squeezed him like the bagpipes. He gave a huge belch and a torrent of green flame spewed over the bed. The sheets vanished. The pillows vanished. The mattress, in fact, vanished. The wooden frame disintegrated and collapsed into a pile of ash. Twilight, breathing heavily, put Spike down.
“Now,” she asked, arranging her hair, “what did you want to say?”
“I...still had my flame set on postal...”
“Oh. Oh... oh no...”
Spike went cross-eyed and belched. A small scroll appeared. Twilight gulped and unfurled it. It read:

		Dear Twilight Sparkle.

Please attend me at your earliest opportunity.

Signed,
Celestia

Twilight gulped, “Oh...horseapples.”
The purple unicorn lifted into the air as a pink glow surrounded her...and vanished. Midnight blinked, she clip-clopped up the stairs and wandered into the room, “Did she just..?”
Spike nodded, “She did. Stand clear... I hope the princess doesn’t post her back.” the dragon added, with a worried expression on his muzle.
There was a bright flash of light and a large burlap bag appeared marked ‘Laundry’. Then there was another bright flash and a purple unicorn stallion dropped out of thin air to land heavily on the padded sack.
Twilight looked up at Midnight and scowled, “I hate you.”

> Twist and Turn About
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 4


Twist and Turn About


An MLP:FiM fanfic set in the Conversion Bureau Alternate Universe

by Midnight Shadow

***

Pointe Vertigo bounced along from cloud to cloud with the small package in his mouth. It was tied up in silvery paper with a golden bow. Inside the wrapping paper was a small felt box with a hinged lid. Inside the box... was a hoof-band. It was made of silver and inlaid with three pearlsl; one for him, one for his beloved and one... one for the future.
He hummed tunelessly to himself as he bounced, wings barely flapping as he flitted between each puffy promontory. Finally he stopped, he was standing on a cloud several feet from the roof of Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s fashion shop. He smiled, a devious grin on his face. He gripped the cloud tightly with all four hooves and fluttered it downwards and maneuvered it until it was outside a specific window. He peeked in, a form was asleep in the bed. It was snoring softly. As he watched, it snorted and rolled over.
Vertigo giggled, Glenn was cute when she slept.
He carefully stood up and positioned himself. He lifted one hind leg and stomped.

Midnight Glenn was snoozing soundly, ensconced firmly in the folds of the soft, silky covers of her soft bed, comforter wrapped around her all the way up to her muzzle. The day had begun several hours before, but she didn’t feel like getting up just yet...
There was a sudden bright flash and an explosion outside her window, rattling the panes. Glenn shrieked and leaped out of bed, falling heavily to the plush carpeted floor in a tangle of hooves, mane, tail and bedsheets. It was the laughing that brought her to her senses first, light-hearted but hearty guffaws from a few feet outside. She grumbled, flipping her burgundy mane out of her eyes as she got to her hooves and stomped to the window. She threw it open and was all set to yell when a muzzle dropped down from above and kissed her on her head.
“Pointe Vertigo! I was sleeping, you... you...”
Pointe Vertigo, the light green pegasus with the aqua mane and tail, was giggling to himself as he fluttered upside-down, “I’m sorry, honey, I couldn’t resist.”
Glenn narrowed her eyes, “That day when we met... that was you, wasn’t it?”
“I...” Vertigo blushed, eyes looking left and right as if for backup. Finally he grinned, nodding, “it kinda was.”
“Kinda?”
“I didn’t mean to actually scare you! I flew down immediately to help...”
“You did so mean to scare me, specifically so you could play the big hero.”
Vertigo blushed, “I...” he righted himself and fluttered back up to his cloud, which he brought down until his head was level with Glenn’s, “alright, I did, but how could I not? You were gorgeous!”
“And new, and easy.” Glenn snorted.
Vertigo looked hurt, he frowned, “No, no. Never easy. A filly as pretty as you, I just... had to find a way... to meet you.” the stallion seemed to shrink in on himself, “I’m not very good with talking to the ladies.” he whispered, “My buddies had to dare me.”
Glenn leaned forwards, and kissed him, “You did it very well with me. How long have we been going out now? I’m still not bored with you.”
She laughed at Vertigo’s hurt look, “I could never get bored with you, you great lug. You complete me, you make me feel...” Glenn wriggled, shaking out her mane, “you make me feel good.”
“I do?” squeaked Vertigo. He harrumphed, clearing his throat, then continued, “I mean, of course I do... that’s kinda why I’m here. I, uh, I’ve been thinking recently. I mean I think a lot, but, recently about something... someone, special. I, um...”
Glenn tilted her head, “What’re you going on about?”
“I, um, Miss Midnight Glenn, would you do the honour of being Pointe Ver- I mean, my, life-mate?” Vertigo squeezed his eyes shut, the last few words coming out in a rush. He breathed heavily for a few seconds, waiting for a answer. When none were forthcoming he opened them, worried, searching Glenn’s face for clues.
“What’s... you don’t? What did I do wrong? I... you don’t...?”
Glenn’s face fell, her eyes went distant. Presently, she started to cry.
“Hey! No, no, wait, I’m sorry... I mean I’m not sorry, I want to, but... I never wanted you to cry! Please, baby! Please stop, what’s wrong? You can tell me, you can tell me anything!” Vertigo jumped off his cloud and swept in through the open window, pulling his love to the bed with a wing. He pulled a tissue out from a box of them and dabbed her eyes anxiously.
“Oh, Vertigo, I’m so, so sorry...” sniffed Glenn, “I...”
“What? Don’t you love me? Don’t you want to marry me?”
Glenn’s lip trembled, but she forced out in a harsh whisper, “You pr-promise I can tell you anything? Anything at all?”
“Anything! Please tell me!”
“I wasn’t always a mare.”
“Oh I know all about that, honey,” laughed Vertigo, stroking Glenn with a wing softly, “you’re a mare now, that’s all that matters.”
“I mean I was a man!”
“Human shmoo-man, newfoals are every bit as Equestrian as the rest of us. Some of them can even outfly me... not for very long, I mean I’m one of the best...”
“No, you don’t understand! I was a male! A man! A male human! I wasn’t supposed to be a mare, I was supposed to be a stallion!”
“A stallion?” whispered Vertigo, shocked into silence.
“Yes! I took the wrong potion, some... beta-version or something, I don’t know. It was flawed, simpler or something. It makes mares, any race I assume, but always mares! I was...” Glenn hung her head, “I was supposed to be changed back months ago, but...”
“But?”
“But I met you.” Glenn sobbed, “An-and you were so wonderful, and kind, and gentle, and you taught me and showed me so much. I-I kept putting it off, saying you’d get bored of me, that you we-were just playing li-like any male, just for fun.”
Vertigo’s expression grew hard, “Playing? You think this was... ugh! I would never! Who the hell are you, Glenn? I thought I knew you!”
“I don’t know!” wailed Glenn, “I’m sorry! I should never have let things get this far!”
“Damned right you shouldn’t have, not without...”
“I’ll... I’m going to end it.”
“No! I won’t let you hurt yourself!”
“This won’t hurt, I won’t feel a thing. Twilight made it.” Glenn jumped off the bed and pulled open the bedside drawer with her teeth, it fell noisily to the floor and it’s contents spilled across the bedroom. Glenn’s eyes fastened on a small vial, she gripped it in her teeth and flicked the top off with her tongue. “I should have done this a long time ago. I’m sorry, Vertigo.” Glenn said around the bottle. She threw back her head, and downed the potion in one.
“Don’t!” Vertigo was too slow. He stopped, forehoof outstretched, as the form before him changed. In moments, running like wax, weight redistributed across Glenn’s frame. Her eyes were closed as she teased out every last drop from the vial. Her face bulked up, changed shape. Hooves thickened, tail shortened, her stance changed as her centre of gravity shifted.
Glenn opened his eyes, and let the empty vial fall to the floor. It sunk into the carpet, barely even bouncing. His gaze followed it, then lifted to the still shocked form of the pegasus. “I’m sorry.”
“Glenn?”
“Goodbye, Vertigo.” Glenn choked off, and bolted from the room.
Vertigo fell to the floor of the bedroom, landing on his rump. There was a commotion  at the door and a white unicorn with a thick, luxurious purple mane and tail rushed in.
“Glenn? Glenn dear?” Rarity glanced about, sizing up the situation. Her eyes met the empty gaze of a light-green pegasus, “Vertigo? What’s going on?”
“She... was a stallion?”
Rarity gasped, blinking, as she spied the empty vial, “Oh my, Oh Glenn... Vertigo, I’m so, so sorry!”

***

Glenn didn’t stop running. He bolted from the room, down the stairs, sped out of the front door. Tears flowed from his eyes as he ran. He ignored calls and greetings, didn’t look at anypony as he passed. Only when Ponyville was a collection of half-seen buildings in the distance did he pause. He turned, breathing hard, sobbing, “Why did you have to be... I’m sorry Vertigo, I loved you. Goodbye.”

Glenn turned his back on the town, shook himself once, and started running. He settled into an easy gait that ate up the miles and ran until noon. He stopped, thinking nothing, drinking a little water, eating a little grass, before starting again. When it was dark, he stopped. He locked his legs into position and dozed off, fitfully dreaming of what he’d had, and what he’d lost. His stomach felt heavy, the grass that had previously seemed so sweet tasted like ash. The water was stale, even the sunlight failed to warm him. He started running before dawn, and didn’t stop. He outran all the lands he knew, all the ponies he’d befriended, all the memories he’d accumulated, but he couldn’t outrun himself.

***

Anchor Watch whistled as he busied himself above deck. He was a simple unicorn, an Equestrian who was a bit of an odd duck when all was said and done. He’d only got his cutie-mark a few years back when the Equestrian Navy had expanded to provide ferrying platforms for all the newfoals, the converted from this ‘Earth’ place beyond the weird bubble out to sea. He didn’t understand how it worked, but there were many such gateways on the Equestrian side. On the other, he’d heard it appeared as just one great shield-wall, impenetrable. The princesses would know how it all worked, they’d pronounced it safe, and he trusted the princesses. He knew a few surly old sea-hounds who were distrustful of the outsiders, but when they brought such wonderful stories and a cutie-mark to boot, how could he dislike them?
His white coat and light blue mane and tail were smudged and dirty with oil and tar, but the deck was clean. He squeezed out the water from the mop with his magic and placed it in a holding bucket. The bucket of dirty water would have to be dealt with ashore, he wasn’t very good with the cleansing magic which would render the muck out, resulting in a bucket of fresh water and a gloop of stuff which would need to be carefully buried. The acceptable alternative, when it was just natural muck and grime, was to pour it carefully into marked sand pits where the water would be naturally purified and the impurities could be collected later and put to good use.
This trip was how he managed to find a huddled, shivering lump of stallion, all but dead from exertion, lying prone in the pit. He tutted to himself, maybe the poor thing had been outrunning a dragon or a rogue griffon. He decided to take the stranger onboard to get him seen to. He whistled again as he exerted his magic on the stallion and he trotted back to the good ship ‘Seapony’s Fancy’. Whoever the stranger was, he was a blank flank. At his apparent age, that probably meant a newfoal. Anchor decided he’d apologize for taking the newfoal back to Earth when the poor thing woke up. They were due to set sail shortly and there was only the one destination, the beach on the coast of what used to be America, although the bubble had expanded, and shrank, and split, and... he didn’t understand how it worked, but that was their gateway.

***

Glenn woke up with a start. It was dark, but his inner clock told him he expected it to be midday. Come to think of it, he thought to himself, since when did sandpits spontaneously grow covers and turn into a bed?
He sat up, rolling awkwardly out of bed. He scratched himself with a hoof, wincing at sore muscles, as his roving hooves met what felt like bandages. He’d cut himself, he remembered, running. His mind started to wander to just what he’d been running from, but he grit his teeth. He didn’t need to remember that. He would never need to remember that. Instead, he looked around. A room, a small room, with lots of cupboards and storage places. As his head cleared, he realized that the swaying of the room wasn’t due to fatigue or illness, it was actually swaying.
“A ship?” he said to himself. He looked around again, gaze falling on a door with a grippable handle. He turned it and pulled. The door swung open to reveal steps and a corridor of sorts.
“I guess... I go up.”

Anchor Watch was cleaning the deck again. The weather was calm, the sun was shining and there was a stiff breeze - the princesses themselves had ordered extra pegasi to make sure that each trip the newfoals took was as comfortable as possible. Storms had been ordered, but scheduled carefully. He tilted his head and decided to take the slack out some more on the spinnaker. It ballooned handsomly and the boat lurched slightly. His boat was a small one, really, but he was happy. He decided he liked the sea, and sailing, and vowed to continue even once the tide of newfoals subsided. Maybe he could take them sight-seeing, he pondered. Anchor turned at the sound of uncertain hoofsteps behind him. “Ah, you’re awake, stranger.”
“Go-good morning, what happened?”
“You’re on a boat, the ‘Seapony’s Fancy’ to be precise. I’m not sure what you were running from, but I thought it best to take you onboard.”
“Thank you,” Glenn turned his head, looking out to sea.
“I hope you don’t mind, I found you half dead in the sand this morning. Ship’s nurse bandaged you up.”
“I did wonder.”
“We’re just,” Anchor waved a hoof out to sea in the direction of travel, where a strange soap-like bubble could be seen, “we’re just heading back to Earth to pick up what stragglers won’t fit on the bigger cruisers. Hope you don’t mind. We’ll have you back in Equestria by nightfall.”
Glenn shook his head, “I don’t mind, I-I think I might stay.”
“On Earth? Whatever for? Whatever you’re running from will be long gone.”
Glenn laughed, hollowly, “No, it won’t.”
Anchor smiled wryly, “Ah, so, the sort of beast that’ll follow you anywhere, huh? Think you’ll escape it on Earth?”
Glenn sighed as he clip-clopped to the railing, looking down at the waves, “No.” he whispered.
“Well, if you’re sure, I’m not going to stop you. If you ever need to come back, you just let me and my mate know.”
“Who is your first mate?”
Anchor laughed, “He’s not the first mate, he’s the captain. He’s my mate.”
“Oh? Oh!” Glenn blushed.
“I hear some of you newfoals are kinda... antsy about that sort of thing, huh?”
Glenn nodded, then shook his head, “I, er, well yes. Some are. I’m... I’m not, I guess.”
“You don’t sound very sure.”
“Big changes, recently. How’d you know I was a newfoal?”
“Stallion your size? No cutie-mark? This day and age, chances are you’ve not found your true purpose yet, your true calling, which usually means newfoal. Then again, I didn’t for the longest time. Wandered from place to place, alone. I was a vagabond, it’d been so long I’d almost forgotten my name. Then I got a job on this boat, met the captain, my captain. Bam, purpose, in more ways than one. I’d never even suspected I was a colt-cuddler, truth be told.”
“That long without wome- mares?” joked Glenn.
Anchor stared at him for a moment, then burst into laughing tears, “Maybe!” he choked out, beating himself with his forehoof before wiping the tears away, “it was a long few hauls, though we’re never that far from port. I just... we just grew closer.”
“Do you...” Glenn’s voice dropped to a whisper, “would you... this is going to sound strange, but would you become a mare, i-if you could? For him?”
Anchor chewed his lip for a while before answering, “No, can’t say I would.”
Glenn’s face must have shown some flicker of strange emotion, for the sea-stallion continued, “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been all over and seen many things, but I’m comfortable in my own hide. I’ve seen humans changed to ponies for their loves, and that’s got to be a bigger thing than which parts you were born with. I couldn’t imagine not being a pony, but I won’t deny some wouldn’t bat an eyelid, were such a thing possible. I love my mate for who he is, and he me. I wouldn’t change that, so no, but I could see as some would. Strange questions indeed, stranger. Why do you ask? You’ve... no, I won’t speculate. A stallion’s past is his to keep, ‘less you want to share.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Glenn glared out to sea.
“Then tell me about Earth, stranger.”
“Well, uh, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.”

***

The doors to the Hackensack Conversion Bureau opened silently, letting the loud sounds of the city in. As they slid closed again, the cacophany ceased. The unicorn receptionist looked up and blinked. She’d expected a human, not a pony. She sized up the stallion before her; chestnut coat, burgundy mane, no cutie mark... a newfoal? she wondered. “Er, hi, can I help you?” she asked.
“Yeah, hi, I’m... uh...”
“Mostly newfoals head out to Equestria, or at least out our doors. What’s wrong, family didn’t take it right? I’m Elegance, dear, Elegance Flare. Ella for short.”
“G-glenn, Mi-...” he paused, “Summer Glenn. Summer for short.”
“Okay then Summer, how can I help you?”
“Do you have any... open positions?”
Elegance carefully turned back to the computer and, exercising fine control over her magic, started typing into the keyboard. “Hmm, not much...” she looked up as tears filled the eyes of the stallion. She sighed, she’d always been a sucker for the waterworks. “Okay, Summer, you might be in luck. Maintenance Technician, first class. Take this chit, report to Gumby down in section four-cee and tell him Ella sent you.”
“Thank you.” whispered Summer Glenn, as he turned and trotted out of sight.
Elegance sighed and shook her head, it wasn’t every day they got returnees.
> A Frayed Knot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 5

A Frayed Knot

***

Vertigo looked down at the empty vial on the floor, tears falling from his blue eyes. “Why?” he whispered hoarsely. Hooves enveloped him and pulled him close.
“She should have told you. It’s my fault, really.” said Rarity, “I kept telling her it would be alright. She trusted me.”
“You should have told me!” shouted Vertigo, flaring his wings and pushing Rarity off him, “All this time, she... he, he was there, laughing at me!”
Rarity’s pained expression caused him to catch his breath, he fell down onto his haunches again, wings folding.
“No, Vertigo, she wasn’t playing.”
“He.” corrected Vertigo.
“She,” continued Rarity, “loves you. You think she’d have stayed a mare a second longer than necessary if she hadn’t had a reason? She... it was my fault, you know. I gave her an old version of the potion, when she Converted. It was the final beta product before they started mass-production, programmed to turn human into Equestrian with one minor difference: all recipients would end up female. They say they did it for simplicity’s sake, truth is I don’t know what they thought they were doing or why, but it worked, perfectly. Glenn became a mare. We moved here to get in touch with Twilight to see if she could fix things since she was so involved with the initial process, and also because Ponyville is being purposely kept relatively safe and quiet by order of Princess Luna. Less inquisitive muzzles to hide from.”
“So, what? He...”
“Glenn settled down to wait, and then you arrived. I encouraged things, it made the two of you so happy and you made such a cute couple!”
“Happy? You call this happy?” Vertigo kicked the vial so hard it shattered, denting the wall where it impacted.
“You mean you weren’t?” asked Rarity, quietly.
Vertigo looked down at the ground where a small, wrapped box had fallen out of his saddlebags onto the carpet, “I was. Very. I loved her.”
“She, he... Glenn loves you, Vertigo. Call it a crush, call it a mistake, I... a few years ago I was at the Grand Galloping Gala, chasing after what I thought was the stallion of my dreams. He turned out to be... rather less suave and sophisticated than I had envisioned. In fact, one could call him an oaf of the lowest calibre. Glenn though, when she spoke of you... Vertigo, come here.”
“What?”
“I want to show you something.”
Pointe Vertigo walked slowly towards Rarity, she was standing by the dresser. “What is it you want to show me?”
“Just look.”
“My reflection?” Vertigo peered into his troubled blue eyes and scowled, snorting.
Rarity laughed, and pointed a hoof, “Remember that day? Glenn certainly does.”
Vertigo looked again, at a picture of them at the zoo. He gingerely took hold of it with his teeth and pulled it free of the frame, placing it down on the dresser. He flipped it over with a hoof and read the message on the back. It said, simply, ‘to Glenn, I love you, Vertigo’.

***

Summer gripped the mop tightly in his muzzle and swept it back and forth across the floor. The tiles shone, gleaming with moisture. They were, temporarily at least, free from dirt. He lifted the mop into the bucket and pushed it down into the water, dunking it to clean it. He lifted it up and squeezed the excess out through the sieve and repeated the sweeping motions. Satisfied, he stopped and looked at his work. The bathroom was spotless, it had been quite the chore. This was the human bathroom facility on floor three, and those humans certainly were good at causing a mess. None of the human janitors would deal with it, except Gumby, and Gumby’s back had gone again. That left Summer, who didn’t mind. Gumby was an older human, something over fifty, and a bit of an odd duck. He would while away the dark hours talking about the time Before - it was hard for some to understand, and even less remembered a time before the Singularity, before the promise of the future had turned sour. Gumby slept on-site, like Summer. Summer still remembered fondly when he’d trotted up to the strange man in the blue denim overalls, dirty oily rags stuffed in pockets and oily but well-maintained tools hanging from a utility belt.

“Well dang it if’n that ain’t the cutes’ li’l horsey I did see today. Howdy fella, what’ve you got there for old Gumby?” he’d asked.
Summer hadn’t been sure at first whether the amazingly cliched accent had been a put-on or not, but apparently Gumby talked like that. Summer had snorted and trotted up, handing the old man the chit with his muzzle. Gumby had taken it and patted him absent-mindedly on the head like a dog, idly running the fingers of one hand through his mane whilst holding the note with the other, which he squinted at through a plastic-rimmed pair of scratched spectacles.
“Sez here y’all gonna be my ‘prentice. Sounds like a plan, does it, boy?”
“Yessir,” Summer had stammered out, “if you’ll have me.”
“Hrmm, I ‘unno, li’l thing like you, no hands... sure you can manage it? What’s your name?”
“S-Summer, sir, and I’ll work hard like you won’t believe.”
“Summer? Odd name for a pony. I’ll jes call you Pony, if’n that’s alright with yew.”
“Okay, sir.”
“And none of that ‘sir’ stuff, ‘m Gumby, and don’t you forget it. Come now, Pony, old Gumby’ll get you sorted.”

Summer sat on his haunches in the corner of the bathroom and breathed a heavy sigh. All done, his shift was over, he could go back to his box in the boiler room where it was warm and safe.
Summer looked out across the bathroom, at the door on the other side. “Dammit!”

***

The door to the boiler room creaked open. As it did, Gumby cracked open one eye. He smiled when he saw it was Summer, “Howdy boy, been good have ye?”
“Everything’s done for today, Gumby. How’s your back? Shall I make tea?”
“P’shaw, ol’ Gumby’s back’ll be right as rain by the morrow, specially if’n he gets some tea made by his favourite li’l pony.”
“Your back’d be right as rain if you’d just get ponified, too.”
“Eh, I won’t be meddlin’ with that sort of thing for a while yet.” Gumby waved off the pony with one hand whilst scratching his greying beard with the other.
Summer took the old kettle, eased off the lid, filled it from the spigot and placed it on the furnace to boil. “I... just want you to be...”
“I know what you want, you want ol’ Gumby to be new Gumby, hmm?”
“It doesn’t hurt, you know.”
“I know, lad,” Gumby winced as he sat up and scratched himself, “but there’s time. There’s always time.”
The pot, despite the old adage, boiled as Summer patiently waited. He mouthed a tea-towel and lifted it off the furnace onto the table. It was a tricky operation, but he got the lid off and dumped in some loose-leaf ground tea-leaves. It was one of the perks of working at a Bureau; real Equestrian produce, tea leaves included. Glenn had never been much for a tea drinker before ponification, but under the tutelage of Gumby he’d learned how to make a real pot of coffee and then, when the night drew in and something more soothing was required, tea.

As the tea brewed, Gumby brushed first his own hair and beard, then his apprentice’s mane. It was Summer’s mane he tackled first with the shearing scissors, trimming off the excess and neatening things up, but then he grabbed an old shaving mirror and saw to his own fringe. He collected up the hairs and threw them in the furnace, before adding another compressed refuse block or two. The fire flared up and Gumby pushed the heavy iron door closed with a stick, lifting and then seating the latch with practiced precision.
“Gumby,” asked Summer, pausing to fill two cracked mugs with the brew, “can I ask you a question?”
“Course you can, my little pony. I believe yew jus’ did.”
“I’ll ask another then. Is there... was there ever, a misses Gumby?”
Gumby smiled again, but there was pain in his eyes, “Aye, there was. A long time ago. She’s gone now, to a better place, so’s our daughter.”
“E-Equestria?” asked Summer, hopefully.
Gumby blinked away tears, “No, lad,” he said, softly, “an accident, on the roads. This was before cars drove themselves, when some were foolish enough to drink themselves stupid and get behind the wheel. My girls were crossing the bridge, a few miles down the river. Some...” Gumby’s voice cracked, “they never saw it coming. Big truck, out of control, spun, jack-knifed, slammed into their vehicle and sent it, somehow, over the edge. They pulled my darlings out, but it was too late, far too late.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“I tol’ you not to call me that!” Gumby snapped, balling his fists, but he let them drop.
“I’m sorry, Gumby. Is... is that why you’re still here?”
“I’m waiting to join them, boy, is that so bad? I’ve been a good man, I think I deserve to see them again.”
“You’re scared you won’t see them if you turn into a pony?”
“I ain’t made up my mind.” Gumby snaked out a hand and grabbed his mug. He held it to his chest, close like something precious, before lifting it and taking a noisy sip. “How about you? Is there a misses Summer somewhere, out there?”
“He... she... it didn’t work.”
Gumby raised an eyebrow, “You should always grab on to love, even foolish ol’ Gumby knows that. Even silly little ponies should know that, even if they don’t have hands to grab with.”
“It’s not that simple.”
Gumby took another sip, “When you get down to it, it rarely ever is. Then you look deeper, and... maybe t’ain’t all that complicated after all. Now, you up for cards tonight?”
“What’re the stakes?”
“Mikey and Dewdrop are comin’ over from t’other section, so we’ll be playin’ fer their Equestrian rations versus our hot water.”
“Ugh, I hate washing in cold water!”
“Hehe, maybe that’ll learn yew how to bluff properly!”

***

Pudding yawned and strode into the cafeteria, she bounced happily around collecting baskets, pots and pans. In moments, the previously pristine and serene kitchen become a bustling hive of magical activity as she levitated eggs, mixed batter and set the stoves to bubbling porridge. She hummed happily along to some obscure Earth tunes on the radio, sat in the middle of the chaos with a placid expression on her muzzle, eyes almost closed.
Elegance, another early riser as she was once again on the reception desk, called out a cheerful greeting.
“Ella! I’ve got your toast!” cried the custard-yellow unicorn, leaping through the food-based hurricane, her bouncy treacle-coloured mane barely being ruffled as she passed. A plate with two perfectly-browned wholemeal slices followed her, where they were picked up by Ella’s own magic. The pair nuzzled affectionately before Pudding bounced back to work, her culinary storm not wavering for a moment.
Elegance laughed, that unicorn could do the job of an entire army of cooks and not even break a sweat, just as long as she was cooking up something. She floated the first slice of toast to her muzzle and demurely took a bite as she flicked on the computer. With a wave of her horn, she unlocked the doors and they slid open, and then closed. She looked up from taking another bite of her toast to find three humans standing in front of her. None of them looked over the age of consent.
“We wanna get ponified! Today, if possible!” said the first, a short-haired specimen with light brown hair and freckles.
“I see.” said Elegance, narrowing her eyes, “I take it you all have verifiable identification?”
“Sure do, miss pony. Scan me first!”
Elegance sighed, apparently another set of humans convinced that her entirely magical powers could somehow seemlessly integrate with their ‘technology’. “Standard prefab nanotech ID bracelets, I take it?”
“You’re not gonna...” the first, apparently a girl according to the profiles which were already popping up onscreen, waved her arms about as she said, “wheeeoooooo?” hopefully.
“I do not ‘wheeoo’, and even if I did I would not do it with quite so much a lack of class. You are... oh hello, Elizabeth. I have to commend you on your choice of name at least. I am Elegance Flare, or Ella for short. You, at least, check out. Sixteen yesterday, you’re legally old enough to go pony. Are you sure?”
“Would I be here if I weren’t?”
“You do realize it’s a one way trip, right?”
“Oh come on! I’m sixteen, I’m old enough to get ponified! I’m old enough to have a real boyfriend if I wanted.”
“Fine.” Elegance with a huge sigh, “You’ll have to sign the release forms like everypony else. Stand over there and I’ll check in your friends too.”

Much to Elegance’s annoyance, all three checked out. ‘Liz’ was the youngest, ‘Trisha’ was next, having turned sixteen several weeks before. Her curly blond hair and blue eyes looked far more innocent than Liz’s had. ‘Debs’ was the oldest, by several months. It seemed all three had been waiting to get ponified together. Judging by the fact they’d waited until sixteen, it was unlikely their parents knew or approved. Their residences were listed as being upstate, far from what had previously been the sites for the Hackensack Reservoir and Elseworth Park. She felt a headache coming on that not even hot buttered toast could...
A crunching noise roused Elegance from her reverie. “My breakfast!”
“What? I was hungry.” said Liz, wiping crumbs from her mouth.
“Away with you! shoo!” Elegance pushed a button on her desk. “Three candidates incoming, keep an eye on them.” she said, before pointing with the same hoof into the Bureau Proper.

***

Gumby had been good to his word. He’d all but leaped out of bed that morning and had set to making breakfast. Summer opened one eye at the rattling noise of his metal dog-dish being set before him. He’d been pretty annoyed at it at first, but when he’d searched about for a suitable replacement, he’d found nothing. It also proved a lot easier to wash and a lot more resistant to the tool-impacts that had led to such a shortage of porcelein. Gumby used an old saucepan for almost every meal in any case, and only owned a fork.
“Mornin’ pony. Well played last night. Gotcha some carrots.”
“Really?”
“Aye, and I think that’s an apple. The rest is alfalfa, sweetgrass and daisies.”
“Breakfast of kings.”
“Breakfast of ponies. Thought you Equestrians had only princesses anyway? Breakfast of princesses?”
Summer narrowed his eyes at the offending meal, “I’ll stick with ‘breakfast of champions’ then, Gumby. What’s on the roster for today?” he asked as he finished it up, swallowing the apple all but whole, his lips smacking mightily at the taste.
“Ah, seems you’ve been a good pony. You’re up top today, lad, being a host for some two-legs that came in.”
“That’s a reward? What’s a punishment?”
“Cleaning the blocked sewage line in section fourteen. I got Chuckles doin’ that.”
“Ugh, can’t stand him.”
“Aye, lazy beggar didn’t replace the filter properly, hence the blockage, hence ‘im fixin’ it. Be off with ya, Pony. Get some sunshine, take ‘em to the park.”
Summer nuzzled Gumby softly, who stroked his mane. “Be off with ya, you silly thing. I got things to do.”
“Aye-aye, sir.” Summer turned around and danced out of reach of Gumby’s friendly ear-swat.
“It’s Gumby!”
“Yessir!” Summer skittered out the room laughing, as a heavy rag impacted the door behind him.

***

“This place is big.” said Trish, “I thought they were all tiny. Waiting rooms, pony stations, that’s it.”
“Naa, that’s only the mini-bureaus. This is a megaplex. Implant’s telling me we’re approaching the reservoir section...” said Liz, blinking at an occular display only she could see.
“And you’re not supposed to be here.” said a new voice.
The three girls turned around to see a chestnut stallion with burgundy mane watching them. He had two toolbelts and a saddlebag on him.
He flicked his tail in annoyance, “I think you three are who I’ve been sent to babysit.”
“We were just... looking.”
“Sneaking is what you were doing.” the stallion walked through them and down the corridor a ways before turning around, “Come on then, if you want to see the reservoir. I’ve got a free day if you don’t count having to drag you three with me everywhere I go. My name’s Summer.”
“Are you from Equestria?” asked the third girl who hadn’t spoken yet. She was taller than the other two, with straight black hair that hid some of her face.
“Yes, you could say so.”
“What’s it like?”
“It’s pretty much like the pictures say, really. The pegasi control the weather, the earth ponies farm the land and build, and the unicorns do all the fiddly bits in between.”
“Then how come you aren’t there?”
“I wanted to get away from it all,” lied Summer, smoothly, “and a Conversion Bureau seemed a good place to start. Come on, through here.”

Summer pushed open a large set of double doors with a hoof and walked through into a huge vaulted space. The air was suddenly hot and steamy and the girls loosened their clothing. Summer’s fur stood on end and he shook himself. He’d learned about the Hackensack Bureau when he’d first moved in, now he got to share it’s unique history. “This used to be the Hackensack Reservoir, or one of them at least. Before the ponies came here it was ruined; the water was poisonous, the plants dead. The park across the road was barren. They bought up the land and transplanted the park. I don’t know how they did it, but it’s now between Highpoint and Oak Street. They sent in some heavy-duty unicorns and paid for some nanotech disassemblers, the result was a magically-enhanced molecular sieve and a large-scale cleanup. They pulled all the debris and poisons out, transplanted fish from Equestria, planted a farm in the park and now the bureau makes a profit on the foodstuff alone. It’s not ‘Equestrian’ produce, but ‘farmed by real earth ponies’ brings in the bits. Better still, they sell water purification services as well as bottle the excess. That’s why this Bureau is as big as it is, there’s a full-time staff seeing to all the machinery and magic that keeps it running. I’m all they could spare for you three, somepony apparently thinks this is a reward for good behaviour.”
“Can we swim in the water?” asked Trish.
“No, not in the reservoir, but you can swim in the pond in the park.”
“There’s a pond in the park?”
“Of course, ladies, right this way.”

***

Elegance looked up as the doors slid open and closed again. As the receptionist of a major Bureau like the Hackensack, she saw hundreds of applicants pass through every day. The Hackensack Bureau was a megaplex, it could handle mass conversions, specialist conversions for those with medical implants or other issues, counseling, and more. It even offered the ‘express lane’ conversion process where signups could get ponified more or less on the spot so long as they signed the release forms and helped around the place afterwards as an extended two-week rehab program. This had proved controversial at first, but was much more efficient than the usual one week human, one week pony deal. It also led to happier, healthier ponies that were better adjusted.
“Good morning, I’m Ele- another one?”
The lime-green pegasus pony trotted up to the front desk, shuffling his wings nervously. He looked haggard and thin. “Hi, I’m Vertigo, Pointe Vertigo, and I’m looking for somepony.”
> Not-So-Smooth Sailing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 6


Not-so-Smooth Sailing


An MLP:FiM fanfic set in the Conversion Bureau Alternate Universe, by Midnight Shadow

***

Vertigo slept fitfully on his cloud-bed, twitching and moaning. With a gasp, he sat up, rolling out onto the floor. He slumped, sighing. The floor was just as comfortable as the bed. He didn’t deserve the bed. He put his head back down. She - he - hadn’t come back the day before. His eyes strayed to the dresser where the picture of the two of them lay. He couldn’t see it, he didn’t have to. He burst into tears.

His friends found him hours later when he didn’t show up for work. He’d fallen asleep, huddled in the corner, tears streaking his muzzle.
“Hey! Yo, Vertigo, V, sup with you?”
“Burster? Break?” Vertigo answered, sniffing loudly.
“You all right, pony?”
“It’s...” he paused, “it’s Glenn.”
“You broke up with her? Can I have her?”
Cloud Burster slapped Windbreak with a wing, “Knock it off you douche.”
“Hey, jus’ sayin’, piece of tail that pretty...”
“You wouldn’t want her anyway, she’s a stallion.” said Vertigo, snarling.
“Hey, woah, what? Nah, I ain’t fallin’ fer that one. She was mare all the way through.”
Vertigo shook his head, getting to his hooves, “No, she wasn’t. Well, she was. But she wasn’t.”
“V, you ain’t making much sense,” said Burster, “was she a mare or was he some fake filly?”
Vertigo clip-clopped over to the bedside cabinet, made of magically-compressed cloud, where the picture he’d kept from Rarity’s was pushed in. “I love him. Her. I don’t know. She, he...”
“You some colt-cuddler now, that it?” asked Windbreak. He couldn’t dodge the hoof that slammed into his muzzle. He spat blood and swore, “buck! buck you, V, just askin’. Seriously, you dick!”
“I-If I were, it would be up to me! But I ain’t! but I love her, and she’s a stallion now.”
“V, you still ain’t making any sense,” said Burster, “I saw her, we all did. She was a mare, you can’t fool a nose like mine.”
“She used to be a human, a male human. When she became a pony, she became a mare. Then she took some... stuff, and now she’s a stallion, and she’s gone.”
“There ya go then,” said Burster, as if that sorted things, “she’s a mare, but took this whatever-it-was. She’s still who she was.”
“If y’ask me, it’s weirder she was this two-legged weirdo thing with fingers.” Breaker danced back, flaring his wings and holding up a hoof against Vertigo’s sudden snarl, “Hey, hey, that all changed, V. Them newfoals, they’re as much ponies as you or I. They’re even the same inside, when they change. I’ve... kinda got my eye on one or two meself. Pretty little things, they are...”
“Always thinking of the tail, you are.”
“Uh huh, and pretty tail from far away... they love the wings on a real Equestrian.” said Cloud Burster, flaring his wings and puffing out his chest.
“You just like thinking they were once one of these... humans.” said Vertigo with sneer.
“Hey, buck you too. Thing is, V, I don’t care if you’re a colt cuddler or not. Shut up, Breaker.” said Cloud Burster, before continuing, “Way I see it, you two had a good thing going. You gotta find her if you still love her, stallion or not. You certainly do pick ‘em though. I dunno what you should do, but seems like it’s hit you pretty hard.”
“She never came back, yesterday.”
“Think she’s at Rarity’s?”
“I dunno, I’ve gotta go check!”
“You better find her, him, whatever, and talk things out. I’ll ‘splain things with the boss. Come on Breaker.” Cloud Burster leaped upwards and shot through the roof-flap, wings barely flapping once.
“V, I, er, I’m sorry ‘bout the whole colt cuddler thing. You’re still cool, even if y’are into stallions.”
“I ain’t, C.B, but I am into Glenn. I gotta go find him.”
Breaker nodded, “Good luck then.”

***

Vertigo flew high above the ground, he’d been circling for the better part of the last three days but had finally picked up the trail. Nopony in Ponyville had seen Glenn, he’d not gone into the Everfree, it seemed he’d gone towards Hoofington through Whitetail Wood. In Hoofington he struck lucky, a chestnut blank-flank had roared through. He’d not stopped nor spoken to anypony except to ask for the quickest route away. It seemed Glenn had been living rough, dining on grass and drinking from streams. He’d been heading away, away from Ponyville, away from Vertigo and Cloudsdale. Ahead lay one thing thing only, the only real way ‘out’. The western sea-shield gateway. Vertigo pumped his wings harder.

***

Anchor Watch whistled to himself, another fine day in the Equestrian Navy. Sea Spray nuzzled him suddenly, nipping him near the base of his tail. Anchor yelped and jumped, spinning about, “Damn it, Spray!”
“Hey hon, gotta make sure my first mate is paying attention.”
Anchor flicked his tail in his mate’s face, “That’s first and only mate, and I know what that bite means. You ain’t getting any out here on deck, leastways not in broad daylight. I’m not in to that sorta thing.”
“Spoilsport. We ready to go?”
“Have you been ogling my backside all morning? You know there’s a storm out there! We’re not going anywhere today, least not until it blows over.”
“Then, mister first mate Anchor Watch, your captain demands your presence below. Specifically, below your captain.”
Anchor rolled his eyes, the sea-blue stallion could be a right pain in the tail-hole, in more ways than one.

The heavy thump of four hooves hitting the deck caused a mild amount of swearing, but the hammering on the door of the captain’s private quarters caused even more.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” grumbled Anchor.
“I’m not!” cried Sea Spray.
The door opened, and Anchor peered out at a lime green pegasus. “Yes?” he asked
“Did... did you see a, oh... oh I’m sorry for being tro-”
“Out with it! I have a very important... meeting... going on in here.”
Vertigo blushed, but he stammered out the rest of his question, “I, er, did you see a chestnut stallion come through here? Burgundy mane, blank flank?”
“Oh, ooohhhh, that explains things. Yeah, we did, a few days ago. He left for Earth.”
“Shield’s that way, right?”
“Yeah, but we won’t be...” Anchor blinked as the pegasus vanished, “horseapples, son, hope you’re a good flier.”
“If he’s gone, you can hang the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door, properly this time, and then get your tail back in bed.”
“Yessir, Captain my captain.”

***

Pointe Vertigo hammered his wings hard, the wind was whipping around his lithe frame sending his mane and tail flying, but still he pressed on. Lightning cracked and thunder rumbled around him as he dove below the cloud layer. He swore loudly, weaving to and fro as the jagged bolts of light sizzled through the ferocious air. A pegasus would never normally fly in a storm like this - they were usually too busy making them. This storm was a breather, a wild storm, one shaped by the pegasi and then set free to burn out it’s fury. It surged around him with almost lethal intent, seemingly aiming to take him down. Ahead glittered the bubble, the local shield-wall promontory, if he could only last a few more minutes...

Sudden pain in his side made him cry out. His left wing seized up as lightning coursed through it. He smelled burning feathers and his horizontal passage all but stopped. He cried out, tears flung away by the tendrils of the storm. Somehow he locked his injured wing, flapping madly with the right as he plummeted. As he impacted spray jet after spray jet, with a small and quiet part of his mind, he thanked his good fortune to have been doing something so monumentally idiotic on the Equestrian side, where clouds could be walked on and were assured to hamper his descent to certain death. Still, the black water rose up to meet him and the breath was knocked out as his body impacted. The world exploded into light and sound; bubbles filled his vision and water filled his ears and nostrils. Absurdly, ahead glittered the bubble of the shield.
So near yet so far, he thought to himself, as he passed out.

***

The first thought, as consciousness returned, was the customary one of ‘where in the seven realms am I?’, followed closely by ‘what in Celestia’s name happened to me?’. After these initial mental utterings, and an audible groan of pain, his brain sheepishly reminded him that he was supposed to have drowned.
“I’m not dead?” he croaked out.
“Sshh, be calm, you’re safe.” said a voice. A hoof touched him softly. No, he realised, not a hoof. A claw? A paw? No, a hand.
“Human?” he asked, tentatively, coughing. He tried again after clearing his throat, “You’re a human?”
“I am, mister pony. How do you feel? I fished you out of the drink a few days ago.
“I hurt. I... I flew into a storm.”
“Aren’t you pegasi supposed to control the weather?”
“Sometimes we just wind it up and let it go like one of those clockwork toys the foals like so much.”
“Is your... wing? Your flock? Are they missing you?”
Vertigo struggled to sit up and eventually managed a half-slouching raised position in what was apparently a bed, surrounded by blankets and pillows, “No, nopony is missing me. Where am I?”
Vertigo looked around at a smallish room; ugly wallpaper, utilitarian fittings, windows with blinds pulled down. Definitely not Equestria, as if that wasn’t a given from the presence of the girl. The human was tall, at least it seemed a lot taller than he was, with mousey brown hair and similar eyes. It seemed kind though, and smiled a lot.
“You were on ‘The Pride of Lyons’, my father’s badly-named boat. We used to take the sightseers out to see the bubble in the sea. It’s really something when there’s a storm on the other side, it’s so beautiful. Now you’re in my apartment.”
“Our pegasi pride themselves on their work, but I must admit the stormfronts from the human world that I saw in the training lessons they made us all take were amazing. Much bigger than we usually allow ours to grow. That’s part of the reason we have storms at sea - it lets our more adventurous storm artists out to play.”
“Only you got caught in it?” asked the human with a soft smile.
“You could say that.”
“Speaking of saying, how can I understand you?” 
“I’m not sure, I thought it was just magic, really. Celestia or Luna must have cast it. A unicorn might know better.”
The human laughed, “Real magic.” it hugged its knees to its chest as it sat on the side of the bed, “That must be really something, huh?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Vertigo spread a wing, “I’ve only got these, remember?”
“Barely that, I had to tape the other one. The vet said nothing’s broken.”
“A vet?”
“Human doctors don’t do well with wings, most of the time.”
Vertigo sniffed, “Guess not. What do they call you, anyway, mister..?”
The girl laughed, “Miss, Alice.”
Vertigo winced, “Sorry, I’m not good with humans. I’m Vertigo, Pointe Vertigo. My friends call me ‘V’.”
“Well, V, I can’t say as you ponies are any easier to tell apart at first, at least not from the front,” Alice made a face, “but I had to change your bedding enough so I know you’re a boy pony.”
“Oh horseapples, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t sweat it, standard issue plastic sheeting for those with little kids is relatively easy to come by. Icky, but it gets the job done.” she patted him on the neck, pulling her fingers through his rough mane. He decided he liked it.
“Eew. Foals are a lot better at things like that, they learn in the first few days.”
“I bet you still get problems when they’re ill or injured though. I managed to get some water down you, but I haven’t fed you, you must be hungry. Do you eat?”
Vertigo’s stomach rumbled at the prompt and both occupants of the room burst out laughing.

***

The rest of the apartment was much like the bedroom; chitzy wallpaper, bad lighting, a huge wall-screen that lit up with moving pictures and spoke back when you asked it things, and comfortable, if worn and dirty, seats. Two of everything. Vertigo cast his gaze around as he walked unsteadily through the oddly-proportioned rooms. Pictures of Alice and another human, he supposed it was her father since he looked much older and somewhat grizzled, adorned the walls.
“Is he out now, on the boat?”
Alice stopped still and sighed once, before continuing to lay the table, “No, no. He’s gone, passed away. It’s been just me for a while now. I don’t know what happened to Ma, I think she left Dad a long time ago.”
“What happened, to your father?”
“The sea took him, the sea takes most sailors in the end. I... I was out there that night I found you, to talk to him. The storm on the other side of the bubble, he loved them so much. I sometimes like to believe that he made it to Equestria, and that he’s just waiting there for me.”
“He might be, I guess,” said Vertigo softly.
“Unlikely, I... I don’t like to kid myself. They never found his body, but they usually don’t. Porridge? It’s good for you, apple flavoured, apparently.”

It wasn’t, Vertigo decided, apple flavoured. It was, however, nourishing and hot. He wolfed it down and asked for seconds, and thirds. When she had a pained expression on her face at the request for thirds, he politely asked her how much it was going to cost for him to stay with her for a while.
“I-I can’t ask you for money, V, it’s not right, you’re a guest.”
“Then I’ll be a guest who’ll earn his keep. Is this part of the human world mostly pony, or mostly people?”
“People, down this way. Don’t ask me why.”
“Do they get to see many ponies?”
“Why, what’re you planning?”
“When’s my wing gonna be healed?”

***

“YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOOO!” screamed the boy loudly as Vertigo swooped through the air.
“HOLD ON!” Vertigo shouted back, “MY MAGIC SHOULD KEEP YOU SAFE, BUT KEEP A TIGHT GRIP! WE’RE GOING FOR A LOOP-DE-LOOP!”
“BEST! BIRTHDAY! EVER!”

“Okay, okay kids, that’s it for a while, V here is tired. He’s been flying you lot about all morning! Home, your moms’ll be worried about you by now and I don’t think they’d appreciate any more credits being spent in one place.”
“Awwww!” came the unanimous cry.
“No, no, Alice is right. I’m pooped. You guys are a lot heavier than the clouds we hoof about back home.”
“Promise you’ll be here tomorrow?”
“I can’t promise, kid, but I’ll see what I can do.”
The kid ran up and hugged him around the neck before scampering after his friends. Vertigo watched him go.
“Pony rides have got to be the silliest idea I’ve ever heard, and you’re getting thinner doing them, I’m still not sure you’ve fully recovered.”
“I’ll buff up, eventually. I’m done though, Alice, I’ve got to move on. You can afford a better life now, the rides worked, didn’t they? Seems most of you humans would love the chance to live it up amongst the clouds.”
“I think you’d have converts even here if you could guarantee wings.”
“They can’t though. Earth, Pegasus, Unicorn. Roll the dice.” Vertigo stretched, “Is that why you haven’t gone pony yet? I mean your house is lovely and all, but...”
“It’s not lovely, V, it’s cruddy. I only stayed here because I was waiting for Dad to come back. If I left and he returned, how would he find me? Have you really gotta go?”
“I’m sorry Alice, I do. Do you think your father would want you to stay? Tell you what, if you think you’re ready to move on too, you can come with me. I’m looking for a friend of mine, a chestnut stallion with a burgundy mane.”
“Burgundy? That’s kind of red, isn’t it? Anything special you can tell me about this stallion?”
“His name’s Glenn, oh, and he’s a blank-flank. No cutie-mark, unlike me.” Vertigo showed off the stylized compass-arrow mark on his flank.
“Oh! Wait, I think I did see this stallion of yours! Who is he, a brother or something?”
“Something like that.”
“Yeah, I totally saw him! A few weeks ago, coming up on a month now. Several days before I met you, like a week maybe? I dunno. I was on my boat at the time. The Equestrian flotilla came through, I remember because I had to wait and wait and wait while those useless newfoals fumbled about trying to get up the gangplanks. There was this one pony though who came off one of the smaller ships. He disappeared into Manhatten and I didn’t think anything of it. I remember it was weird because he looked weird... no mark!”
“Horsefeathers, that’s gotta be him! Alice, I was going to break this to you tonight, but... I’ve really got to go.”
“Vertigo, if you can wait until tomorrow, I’ll come with you. It can’t be that hard to track down a pony in a city.”

***
> Forever Growing Bubbles
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 7

Forever Growing Bubbles

An MLP:FiM fanfic set in the Conversion Bureau Alternate Universe, by Midnight Shadow

***

The bed was small, the couch even moreso, so Vertigo and Alice reluctantly shared the former. It wasn’t as comfortable as his cloud bed, and attempts to fetch down a cloud for him to stand on just plain hadn’t worked. He could almost stand on them, but moving them about was completely out of the question.
“Maybe that’ll change when there’s more of you?” Alice asked as he returned empty-hooved, “You’ve only been around for what? Nine, ten months?”
“You think more of us ponies will move to Earth?” he asked.
Alice had shook her head, “Naa, not really. Mostly it’ll be us humans, as newfoals. You know the bubble’s growing, don’t you? They don’t like to talk about it.”
Vertigo blinked in shock, “Really? But... why? That’d mean...”
Alice laughed and threw her arms wide, expansively, “One day, all this will be fields. It’s touched ground already over in Maine. I think it ate all of Newfoundland already, and some of Africa and Europe. They tried their best to stop it, a while ago, back when it was still small and in the middle of the Atlantic. For three days, they lit up the sky with nukes.”
“What’s a nuke?” Vertigo asked in a sombre tone.
“Do you guys have fireworks? You know, little rockets. Pfft, whiz, boom?”
Vertigo nodded, “On Nightmare Night, we set them off to scare away Nightmare Moon.”
“Well, imagine a really, really big rocket...”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
Alice sighed, “Yeah, we’ve used them against each other, too. Twice.”
“Twice? What happened?”
“It ended a war. The country they were used on surrendered. Two cities wiped off the map.”
“Cities?” Vertigo’s ears splayed back, “Your cities are really big... two bombs? Just two?”
“Yeah, two small ones. ‘Bout a tenth of the size they used against your bubble.”
“A tenth?” Vertigo’s voice was a whisper, he could hardly comprehend such destruction, “You humans scare me.”
Alice hugged him softly, “I’m sorry, V. We’re not all that nice when we fight, and we kinda fight a lot.”
“Newfoals aren’t like that, they’re... like us.”
“All the more reason, V. I made my mind up. You know, when I fished you out, I half thought you might be Dad. It’s been a while coming, but I’m ready to go. Pony me up.”
Vertigo nuzzled her softly, “If that’s what you want, we’ll go together. If I were a pony, I’d head to a bureau. I bet that’s where Glenn’s gone. Midnight Glenn, he called himself.”
“Midnight, huh? Sounds like a name I’d give a filly.”
“You don’t know the half of it. Let’s try to get some sleep.”

***

The hammering on the door woke them at what the vidscreen informed them was a little over five in the morning. The hammering was loud and insistent, louder than Alice had ever heard before, and at five in the morning it was more than a little threatening.
“Lights! Sentry, who’s outside knocking?”
“I.D. bracelet reports Miller, Hank, and associates.”
“What the hell does he want?” asked Alice rhetorically. She pulled on her pyjamas and stretched before picking up a baseball bat from under the bed.
“Patching audio through... now- ‘S THE PONY, ALICE. WE JUST WANT THE PONY. YOU WON’T GET HURT.”
“Woah, shit, V, V! Wake up!”
Vertigo was already awake, his wings spread wide and his ears splayed back, “What do they want?”
“Yelling like that? Nothing good. Get behind me. They probably can’t get through that door without a fight, but it won’t stop ‘em trying.” Alice ran out of the bedroom to the small hallway, “Hank? That you? What the fuck do you want?”
“We just want the pony, Alice. Give us the fuckin’ pony and we’ll go.”
“Nuh uh, Hank, first you gotta tell me why. What’s he done?”
“Ain’t you seen the news?”
“Fuck no, Hank. unlike you, I try to sleep at night.”
“Them fuckin’ beasts are stealing our planet!”
“I know that bubble’s growing, Hank-”
“No, no you don’t know. They’re calling it an expansion phase or some shit! There’s another one, on the West coast.”
“Another what?”
“Bubble. Those fuckin’ ponies are invading, it’s an invasion I tell ya!”
“Hank, what the hell are you talkin’ about?”
“Turn on the teevee, Alice. Watch the news, then give us the pony. If you don’t give us the pony, we’re gonna come get him. We gotta fight ‘em.”
“Like hell I am! House, news. Search phrase, bubble expansion.”
“Working...” replied the soft, emotionless voice of the house computer system, ignoring the tumultuous barrage on the door.
Alice watched, eyes wide, as on-screen appeared another bubble, rising from the ocean. It was followed by unconfirmed reports of similar bubbles all across the globe. As the hammering increased in volume, as it became more rythmic and determined, Alice listened to the scientists explaining that the ‘bubble’ was a three dimensional projection of a four-dimensional hypercube, a tesseract. It was changing and growing, morphing somehow according to mathematical rules that were beyond Alice’s understanding. She turned, open-mouthed, to Vertigo. “V, do you know about this?”
“Me?” Vertigo shook his head with horror, beginning to shake, “Please, Alice, you’ve gotta believe me, I don’t know anything about this! I don’t even know where the gates came from, let alone why they’re... growing like that. You’ve gotta believe me! Please don’t let them get me!”
Alice shook her head, “I won’t, buddy. I know how this story goes. I’m a collaborator, a turncoat. Even if I gave you up, I’d find a bullet in my brain - if I was lucky. If not, I’d merely be shunned, my stuff stolen, my life ruined. Dammit, that idiot Hank’s made up the rest of my mind better’n anything. We gotta go.”
“Can’t go out the front door.”
“That just leaves the window.”
“I can fly, but you?”
“Fire escape, V. It goes down. Hustle.”

The pair fled to the window, Alice pulling on some clothes as she half-hopped and half-fell across the room. She grinned like a maniac as she lifted one heavy steel-toe-capped boot and kicked the window in the corner. It shattered and burst outwards.
“I always wanted to do that. V, out.”
The door splintered and broke and the mob poured into the room as Alice yelled out, “Emergency, fire in apartment thirteen-b! Sensors dead, safety override!”
There was an alarm beep that started up loud, echoing throughout the entire comples. Various pipes burst, showering everything with a deluge of water. “So long, mother fucker!”
Vertigo leaped over the edge, hooves springing him off the railing. Alice looked down, there was a mob in the streets. She swore, “Vertigo! The roof! Up!”
“They’re coming, Alice! Run for it!”
Alice screamed and flailed with her baseball bat, slapping at a hand and probably breaking the wrist of whoever had tried to grab her. She heard cursing from behind her as she stomped loudly up the stairs. One or two inventive but unlucky residents had had the same idea, and were opening their windows. She smashed them in the face with her bat, sending teeth spraying in a colourful arc.
“Now you see why I want out, V!”
“Alice!” Vertigo cried, circling. There was a loud crack and projectiles zinged through the air.
“Guns! Roof, now!” Alice cleared the last set of stairs and all but threw herself onto the roof, panting.
“Now what? I can fly, but you..?”
“How much weight can you carry?”
“I-I-I... I don’t know. In Equestria...”
“More than me, right?”
“Yeah, much more.”
“Then it’s time I saddled up. Sun’s that way, fucking smog, the bay’s that way... fuck it, Vertigo, we go that way! That way! Hackensack, the old reservoir, they ponified it. Best place for me and you right now, maybe things make more sense over there.”
“A bureau?”
“Few miles that way. Move it!” Alice leaped onto Vertigo’s back. The pony gave one quick glance back at two heads that were popping over the railings. Two men, quickly followed by a third, jumped over the edge onto the flat roof. They started running.
“Buckin’ horseapples!”
“V, I’ve gotta teach you some better swear words!”
The pair were already galloping. The edge of the building loomed.
“Oh, fuck me.” whispered Alice, as Vertigo slammed his forehooves down almost over the edge of the pallisade, allowed his momentum to carry, and then sprung up in a mighty leap, his wings spreading wide as his hind-legs kicked off into space.

***

Alice had stopped gibbering to herself, though her knuckles were white with the pressure as she held on painfully to Vertigo’s mane.
“I fucking hate heights, V,” she whimpered.
“You’d hate the stop at the bottom more.”
“Fuck you, V”
“You’re welcome, Alice. We still going the right way?”
“I dunno, I’m too scared to look!”
“Alice! I don’t know shit about Humania!”
“It’s America, and who taught you such language?”
“Amare-ica?” repeated Vertigo, “Funny. Sounds almost like it could be one of ours.”
Alice chanced a peek. She hunched over and screwed her eyes up very quickly after, “Yeah,” she said after a moment, “we’re going the right way. Do you see a big squarish building? Green?”
“How big?”
“Really big.”
“I do, I think.”
“That’s it, that’s the one. I’m pretty sure. I’ve looked at it on the ‘sat pictures plenty.”
“Alice?”
“Yeah, V?”
“Remember when I said about the stop at the end?”
“Yeah?”
“Hold on tight.”
“Oh fuck me.”
“You ain’t my type, Alice.”
“Shut up shut up shut up!”
“Hold on!”
“Fuck!”
“Brace yourself!”
“Oh fuck!”
“BRACE YOURSELF!”

Vertigo flared his wings to loose forward speed, but the weight on his back threw him off. He stalled, flipped and twisted in the air. The pair of them slammed rather heavily into the ground and slid to a stop in some bushes, choking and wheezing.
“Ow.” said Alice, after she’d got her breath back. “You okay, V?”
“I think so.” the stallion got to his hooves and shook himself out, “That the bureau?”
Alice looked up, “Can’t you read?”
“No.”
“Ah. Yeah, it is. You go in, see if the coast is clear.”
“Things don’t seem quite so crazy down here.” commented Vertigo, still shaken
“Big bureau like this, there’s plenty of ponies about. It doesn’t mean there won’t be problems... you don’t think you ponies really are invading do you?” asked Alice, before throwing hands up at the dirty look Vertigo gave her, “Hey, gotta ask. Scoot, get in there and tell me if the coast is clear.”

***

Vertigo didn’t see a door handle. He trotted cautiously up to what appeared to be huge glass and steel doors and raised a hoof to push on them. He hadn’t seen hinges either, but...
“Oh hello, that’s neat!” Vertigo fluttered his wings as the doors slid open. He clip-clopped over the threshold, wincing slightly as the doors closed again, blocking off the sounds of they city. As his eyes adjusted to the light inside, he noticed an attractive unicorn ponying the front desk with a strange device up to one ear, a plate of what looked like toast floating next to the other and crumbs adorning her muzzle.
“Good morning, I’m Ele- another one?” he heard her say.
The lime-green pegasus pony trotted up to the front desk, shuffling his wings nervously. “Hi, I’m Vertigo, Pointe Vertigo, and I’m looking for somepony.”
“You know, a few more returns like you and they’ll think something’s wrong with the potion we cook up here.”
“A return? This wouldn’t happen to be a chestnut fi- er, stallion, with a burgundy mane, would it?”
“Maybe,” the receptionist eyed him suspiciously, “what do you want with him, assuming he’s here?”
“I gotta see him, I just gotta.”
“Friend? Family?”
“Family.”
“I see. You came all the way from Equestria, huh?”
“Er, Ellie, was it?”
“Elegance, Elegance Flare.”
“Elegance, miss, you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve been having. Have you guys seen the news yet?”
“The news?”
“The shield wall, the bubble, whatever you ponies call it on this side, it’s growing, there’s like, a million of them all over the planet.”
“There’s what?” spat Elegance, coughing crumbs across the desk, “Wait, are you serious?”
“I have a friend out there too scared to come in incase this is some... invasion!”
“Vertigo, I haven’t got the slightest clue what you’re going on about, but you’d better get your friend in here if you think there’s trouble. We’ve been having alerts from the security grid for a while now, some rogue group has been popping up and threatening all sorts of nonsense on the news.”
“I’ll go get Alice.”
“And I’ll let the director know.”

***

Alice poked her head up above the bushes as she saw Vertigo trot out through the doors. “Hey V, what’s the story?”
“They didn’t even know!”
“Don’t they watch the news in there?”
Vertigo shook his head, “I dunno, maybe they think it’s better if they don’t.”
“I trust you, V. Let’s go.”
   
Vertigo pricked his ears up at a sudden increase in the volume of the already-loud city. He turned his head to see what looked like a mob of humans waving cards and signs in the air. “What in Equestria is that..?”
“Dunno what you call it, I just call it trouble.”
“Hustle?”
“Damn straight.”

The two figures headed for the bureau as the mob grew closer. The crowd saw the pony running, and something must have set them off. There was shouting and hollering, and the crowd started running.
“Lock the damn doors!” shouted Alice, “Please!”
“Do as she says, the humans out there are nuts, no offence, Alice.”
“V, none taken. Mobs are never pretty. The more members, the stupider they get.”
“I've called the police... I don't know when they'll get here though.”
“Think those doors will hold?”
“I certainly hope so.”
The hurried conversation in the reception of the bureau came to a halt as a siren sounded throughout the complex, “Attention all convertees, all applicants and all staff. We have a major situation, so I want you all to remain calm. I repeat, remain calm. As some of you are aware, there has been a disturbance with the shield. We don't know what's causing it, but the scientists from both sides are calling it an 'expansion phase'. There is no cause for alarm. We are, however, encountering street protests...”
“They call that a 'protest'?” spat Alice, nodding to the crowd that could dimly be seen through the darkened glass. They were hammering and kicking on the glass with any weapon they could find laying about.
“I don't think it would be in anypony's interest to announce we were under attack, human.”
“Ssh!” hissed Vertigo, “I'm trying to listen!”
“--Repeat, it is advised that all convertees report to the cafeteria, the ponification rooms are well-built shelters able to hold firm against even medium-sized arms fire, not that we're expecting that.” the voice tried to chuckle, it didn't quite work, “The police have been notified and we're sure that everything will be under control momentarily.”

There was a sudden loud CRACK and the safety-glass fractured.
“V, have you ever had a day where it just felt like you were run off your, er, hooves?”
“Funny, very funny.”
Unsurprisingly, they ran.

***

Summer was yawning happily as he dried. The girls were lounging about, leaning on him and basking in the warm air. Trish was running her fingers through his mane, idly.
“What do you do to get it this soft and luxurious?” she asked with a sudden burst of intent.
“Oh, it takes work. You've got to learn to brush it right, and it's essential you use the right conditioner.”
“Ponies have conditioner?”
“Of course! You didn't think a mane like this grows naturally, do you?”
It took him several sets of beauty tips later to realize that he was acting more 'one of the girls' than he thought suitable. By this time, they were braiding his mane and tail, and he decided not to interfere. He liked the attention from a female, he told himself. Yeah, that was it. He scowled, they were far too young, and no, no he liked the mane-care. Dammit.
It took the alarm bells going off to bring him out of his reverie. He listened intently to the warning message and stood up carefully, “Girls, I'm sorry, we've got to cut this short. We've got to get back to the main building!”
“What's going on?” Debs asked.
“I don't know, but it doesn't sound good.” he closed his eyes as they dressed. Lying down he’d been able to forget they’d been skinny dipping. He wryly noted that human women didn't 'do' it for him any more, but that he wasn't sure quite why.
“Aren’t you guys coming?” he shouted to the pegasus newfoals and their instructors.
“Naa, Summer, we’ll be fine in here. This lot can all clear the roof if we have to evacuate. You can’t, so move it.”
“Attention all personnel, lockdown sequence initiated, repeat, lockdown sequence initiated.”
“Crud.” swore Summer, “Girls, we’ve got to run if we’re gonna get to safety. Ten minutes and the doors to the dorms and cafeteria are gonna be permasealed until the police override.”
They started running, Debs and Trish with a panicked expression on their faces. Liz seemed to take it all in stride. “You mean to tell me they’ve got this place wired for an attack?”
“That’s what they told me, never thought I’d see it. I mean who’d want to hurt ponies?”
“You haven’t heard about the HLF?” replied Liz.
Summer shook his head, “I... went pony a while ago. There were demonstrations, but...”
“I knew it!”
“Ya caught me.”
“What’s it like?”
“You... drink this stuff, fall asleep, and wake up a pony.”
“That’s it?”
“Oh, yeah, I hear that most newfoals have this dream... I did.”
“Dream? Of what?” puffed Liz. They’d cleared the park by now and were bolting down the interminable corridors of the complex.
“Left here... of Celestia, Luna, Equestria. It’s like... you’re everywhere and nowhere, and suddenly there’re these ponies, only they’re just... pony shapes, you know?”
“What happens?”
“I dunno, you... kinda choose what you want to be.”
“Choose? Bull, they said you don’t get to.”
“I can’t explain it, the ponies choose you, I guess. At least, they did for me. When you find where you fit in, you come face to face with...”
“Your destiny.”

Summer pulled up short. There in front of him was a lime-green pegasus stallion, with aqua mane and tail, and the bluest of deep blue eyes he’d ever seen.
“Hello, Midnight.”
> Time to Pony Up
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 8


Time to Pony Up



Note: The first paragraph was actually partly written by AHX2790, I've changed it a little bit, but not very much. This is a big chapter, and I may have some mistakes left over. It could also be more polished. I think it also needs an epilogue or two.

***

Security Chief Leonard Morris sat in front of the Central Control Console in the command center of the Hackensack Conversion Bureau. He was smoking a Safety-Cig as he watched the events unfold on the nine television screens that made up the CCC, gritting his teeth and chewing it, rolling it around in his mouth before pulling it out and idly puffing.
Three windows on the giant vidscreen were tuned into news stations reporting the expanding bubbles around the world whilst another nine were focused on various parts of the Bureau. One showed the entrance hall, two more the cafeteria where the majority of convertees, staff, and personnel were retreating to. Three more windows showed what was happening right outside the building; a growing mob of angry protesters was gathering in front of the building and was expanding as fast as those bubbles were.
A veteran cop of Old New York whose specialty had been riot control, Morris was specially selected to head security of the Bureau when the old chief, a fellow by the name of Joseph Kessler, had gone pony as one of the first applicants. Morris, after his long and dangerous career as a riot cop, had signed on in hopes of finally settling down with a cushy job without any risks until retirement. Head of security for a bunch of talking ponies had seemed the dream job, even garnering a visit by the royal pony sisters on one of their tours of the human world. Now though... he grit his teeth hard, feeling the polycarbonate crack.
Morris was well liked by the staff, both ponies and humans, so he’d never had any trouble getting their cooperation for drills. This, however, was no drill. He sighed and went to snub out the cigarette. As it clinked on the table, he chuckled. Old habits die hard, he thought.
There was a mechanical *swish* sound that told him someone was coming in. He turned around, expecting his second in command and saw it was the receptionist pony, Elegance Flare. She looked scared and out of breath.
"M-Mr. M-Morris?" Elegance stammered.
"Yes Miss Flare?" Morris replied, getting to his feet.
"Star Shield said that the police will be here in a few minutes, but he doesn’t know how long that door will last."
"Thank you Miss Flare, I’ve already set things in motion. You might want to head to the cafeteria now whilst you can. If they get through those doors, things could turn real ugly, real fast. Those guys’re probably just blowing off steam, but better safe than sorry." Morris waved at the vidscreen.
Instead of turning to leave, Elegance trotted slowly up to the CCC and stared at the pictures. Her gaze moved across the ugly scenes outside, where the safety glass was being repeatedly hammered with blunt objects. It had cracked, but hadn’t yet given. It was surely only a matter of time. Minutes, if that.
Then Elegance saw the news reports, and her mouth fell open. She seemed to forget that Morris was there as she watched the events unfold on the screens. When she spoke a few moments later, it was in a voice filled with sadness and fear. "What's happening... what's happening to your world, your home?"
The news reports were showing the expanding, multiplying bubble-shields. Another one had appeared off the coast of Russia in the Barents Sea, whilst more were appearing in the North Pacific, the South Pacific... then the news reports flooded in of a few bubbles appearing on land. There had been surprisingly few casualties, so far, but massive displacement was causing riots and border scuffles across the planet.
"I wish I knew, Elegance." He placed a comforting hand on top of the unicorn’s head. "Don't worry. Just be brave. We'll figure this out.”
Elegance Flare still looked worried but she stood a little straighter, and nodded. This got Morris to smile and seeing him smile made Elegance smile too. "Yes sir."
"Now get down to the cafeteria and hold there until-”
The sudden bellow of sirens cut off the conversation. Morris swore under his breath and threw on his flack jacket, “Too late for the cafeteria, Ella. You stay here, help keep an eye on things! Second best room in the complex, nothing gets in without you pressing that button.” he pointed to a large green button on the desk.
“Wait here until I give the all clear, and remember not to panic no matter what happens. We've already got a mob outside, we don't need one in here too."
"Yes sir." Elegance said again, eyes fixated on where several groups of people were forcing their way through the breach into the building. She turned around suddenly and ran at Morris, taking him by surprise. She wrapped her hooves around him in a big hug and nuzzled his armor vest. "Please be careful Mr. Morris!" Elegance sobbed as she nuzzled his chest.
Morris hugged the surprisingly soft unicorn to him before gently pushing her away. With that, he walked out of the Command Center.

***

Vertigo? Pointe Vertigo, i-is that really you?” Summer asked, as he got over his shock.
“Sure is, Midnight... I... I had to find you. I had to talk to you.”
“Midnight?” asked Liz, “Thought you said your name was Summer?”
“It’s complicated,” Summer said, “I just... wanted to get away from it all.”
“From me.”
“You two... an item?” asked Alice.
“Yes.” said Summer, surprising himself, before Vertigo could speak.
Vertigo fluttered his wings and looked at the ground, “It’s complicated.”
“V, if you and he are like... together, s’no big deal.”
“I’m not into colts.” whispered Vertigo.
“Then why..?”
“I told you it’s complicated, okay?”
“Miss, we don’t really have time for this. I’ll explain later, I just... left in a hurry. We kinda have unfinished business.”
“That’s gotta be some business, Summer. Vertigo almost got himself drowned chasing you through a storm. He’s been looking for you for what, a month?”
“And I’ve missed him too. Every. Single. Day.” Summer said, stomping a hoof to accentuate each word, “But now still isn’t the time, we’ve got to get to safety before--”
There was a sudden loud klaxon that rang out three times, and Summer started swearing under his breath, “A breach. Fuck, this could turn ugly. This was never supposed to happen! What the hell has been happening today?”
“Remember when you said it was complicated?” asked Alice, “Well bud, you don’t know the half of it.”
“Well fine, great. Let’s all have a fucking lovely complicated day. Now what?”
“You’re asking me?” Alice punched the chestnut pony in the withers, “That’s your job, Summer. A few minutes ago we were dodging protesters outside, trying to smash down the front doors. By the way, I’m Alice, pleased to meet you.”
“Right. That was the second emergency lockdown signal, there’s been a breach. That means that whoever was outside isn’t just demonstrating and waving cards and shit, they’ve broken through the doors and they’re in the building. That makes them dangerous. The system’s done with the ten minute limit and is cutting losses. We’re cut off.”
“Fuck.” said Alice, “Now what do we do?”
“I’m thinking, I’m thinking!” Summer paced backwards and forwards in the small hallway, “We won’t be able to get back into the park, the cafeteria is blocked off from all normal entrances. We can’t get out the front door, least not without a fight... The dorms for the newfoals are on the first floor, most can’t handle stairs and some don’t like the elevators so a lot of the staff use the upstairs. Vertigo, you can get out that way, if we can force our ways in.”
Vertigo shook his head, “They shot at me this morning, Midnight. We found out the shield’s gone crazy or something. There’s another big one on the West coast, several around Europe, Russia...”
“Are we talking end of the world, here?”
“I don’t know! Maybe!”
“Crap. Plan B then. We’ve got to get the ponification potion to the cafeteria! I won’t be responsible for everyone dying if that bubble hits!”
“I thought you said we can’t get to the cafeteria?”
“Not above ground, no, but as usual this building was renovated by the lowest bidders. I’ve got the keys to the basement tunnels. Follow me.”

***

“So, Liz, birthday yesterday, huh?”
“Yeah. We snuck out last night whilst my parents were sleeping...”
“They don’t know you’re here?” Alice asked as the girls followed the two stallions.
Liz shook her head, biting her lip, “We’ve been planning it since ponification’s been offered. Daddy wouldn’t buy me a pony, so I decided to become one.”
“Really?” Alice stopped in the middle of the corridor so sharply than Debs and Trish collided with her. “This isn’t some game, you know. This is your life. You can’t just... ugh!”
“So what, you think I should just run home to Daddy, yeah? You don’t get it. I’m an adult over there! I can live off grass, maybe fly about in the sky or cast magic. They give you a job, Alice. You know what that means? Sure I can live off my dad’s savings, he’s one of the few doing well, for now. It’s only a matter of time though. There’s nothing for me. Nothing.”
“So you thought you’d just up and run away, huh?”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
The two women stared at each other for a moment, one defiant, the other refusing to budge.
Vertigo turned around, “You two stop it? The way things are going, they might not have a choice. Now follow Summer here and keep quiet. No telling who could be around the next corner.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” said Summer, fishing about in his neck-pack and pulling out a large key on a chain. “We’ll be out of these corridors and down below soon enough. It’s just around the next corner.”

***

Stewie waved his signs with the rest of them. He’d seen the news, heard the dire predictions. Those damned ponies had just been waiting for this, waiting. Well, he wasn’t going to stand for it. “Let’s send those four-legged fuckers home! And the pony-lovers with ‘em! Yeah!” he shouted, not that he could be heard amongst the other catcalls and jeers. He saw his brothers and sisters beating on the doors to the bureau, which remained resolutely locked. Cowards, he thought. He sneered, forced his way through and slammed his sign into the doors. With a whoop, the crowd saw the plexiglass crack. It was tough, very tough, but not invulnerable. The crowd redoubled it’s efforts, and soon bricks and metal poles and steel-toecapped boots were hammering on the barrier. Soon enough, it gave way. The crowd roared and jeered, smashing and hacking until the doors could be prized open. When there was room enough, Stewie was one of the first to squeeze himself through. He discarded his sign, the plank had split and it was heavy. Besides, he didn’t need it. He had a backup.
Matilda took a small bottle out of her jacket pocket as she looked around the foyer. With a flick of her wrist, the lighter opened and sparked. She lit the small rag in the end of the bottle and threw it at a door. When it impacted, it burst into flames. “Wicked.”
“Girl after my own heart.” said Stewie.
“Yeah? Didn’t come prepared for a barbeque, did ya though?”
“Na, I came with fireworks.” he patted his jacket pocket and smiled toothily.
Matilda lit another one and tossed it to Stewie, “Catch.”
“Fuck, bitch, you’re crazy!”
“Can’t take the heat, get outta the kitchen.”
Stewie threw the bottle at the front desk, it burst into flames as the computer shorted out. “Come on, we’d better go give those ponies a proper welcome before the fire suppression system fires.”
“Fuck, man, I wanted that deck.”
“There’ll be more. Let’s go shopping. Name’s Stewie, to my friends.”
“Matilda,” she grimaced, “Fuckin’ hate it. Call me ‘M’.”

Ben found himself pushed into the building. If he’d stopped for a moment and thought, he’d have realised he didn’t really want to be there, but when your gang moves on a target, you go with it. He was committed now. He picked up a discarded sign and started wailing on the furnishings. It was at least a lot of fun. As more people streamed in, he sloped off down some corridors to get away from the worst of it. If the worst came to the worst, he could probably pretend to be a client, at least until the cops isolated his picture. That was, he reasoned, if there were going to be cops any more.

“Yeah, they scoop out your brains and eat them. I heard, my cousin knows someone who knows someone who saw ‘em do it. This whole thing’s a fake. They’re goddamn murderers. They’re not veggies at all, they eat meat!”
“Ya what? The little fuckers don’t eat meat! That’s bullshit.”
“Explain the cakes they make then? That needs eggs. Their clothes use leather. They eat each other. That’s why they’re here. They eat humans, they only pretend to change humans into ponies.”
“Edge, you’re so full of shit.”
“I’m gonna prove it, Simone, just you fuckin’ wait and see.”
“Either way, I’m gonna see what makes ‘em tick, see if they bleed red or green.”

***

Stewie heard voices. He’d dodged the police, somehow - either that, or the coppers weren’t interested in lone intruders when there was a war on. The voices were unmistakably pony and human. Ponies had this... surprisingly high-pitched sound, but you could always tell. He readied a billy-club he had hidden in his jacket. It wasn’t time yet for the main act. He patted the gun in the pouch in the back of his jacket as he pulled out the length of weighted plasteel. A weapon, a human invention. Maybe one of the first. Some dumb beast wouldn’t be able to wield something as sophisticated as a club. Man had fingers, hands, brains. Goddamn ponies had nothing.
“Good morning, gentlemen, ladies.” sneered Stewie as he stepped around the corner. “You girls can go, it’s just the ponies I want.”
Stewie watched as the two ponies glanced at each other before falling into position. They blocked the corridor between the girls and him. One was a bright green pegasus, the other a chestnut pony. No horn, good. That meant less trouble.
“Get away from them.” said the green pegasus.
“Make me.”
“I don’t have to. Whatever you do, don’t look behind you.”
Stewie sneered, “Like I’m going to fall for that one.”
Summer watched with great satisfaction as the form of an old man, wearing a very dirty pair of overalls, lifted the heavy spanner and slammed it into the back of the intruder’s head. The man went down, crumpling like an old piece of paper.
“Gumby don’t take kindly none to thems as would hurt mah pony.” the old man said.
“Gumby, I am so glad to see you!” Summer leaped forwards and embraced Gumby in a crushing pony-hug.
“Old Gumby’s glad he found you, Pony. What’ve you been up to, huh? I let you go up top for one day, and you start a fightin’?”
“Vertigo, Alice, girls, this is Gumby. My boss.”
“Pleased to make yer acquaintances,” Gumby saluted with the spanner before putting it back into his harness, “you’d better come this way, trouble’s afoot. Pleased to meetcha, Vertigo. I heard a lot about you.”
“What? I never...”
“Ya talk in yer sleep, Pony.”
“And how come he gets a name, and I don’t?”
“He don’t work for ol’ Gumby now, does he?” Gumby smiled toothily and ruffled the mane on the chestnut stallion, “Ol’ Gumby knows when to keep his yap shut, so come on.”
“Where’s he gonna take us?” asked Alice.
“Gumby, have you seen the news? The barrier shield... it’s gone crazy or something. We need to get the backup potion to the cafeteria.”
The old man thought for a second, before nodding, “Sounds like a right good idea if’n you think it’s necessary.”
“Can’t hurt. You... you should take some, too.”
“If it comes to it, I’ll make ma decision then, not now.”
“But...”
“No buts. Follow ol’ Gumby now, and make sure to close the door after ye’s.”

***

Eclaire sobbed. He was lost. He’d been in the facilities when the alarms had hit. He’d hid, until the second alarm went off, and by then it was too late. He was relatively new, having arrived from Equestria only the last week. He was a chocolate-coloured earth-pony with a striking white mane and tail, perhaps understandably he loved baking.
He looked up as he heard footsteps, cowering back as a human clad in a leatherjacket rounded the corner. “Please,” he said, “don’t hurt me... I don’t want to hurt anyone...”
The figure brandished the piece of wood, holding it high. Eclaire whimpered and screwed up his eyes, cowering even lower. The touch, when it came, was gentle. Fingers brushed his ears.
“I... I’m sorry.” said a small voice. Eclaire opened his eyes, looking up at the human.
“You’re not going to hurt me?”
“I... I was. I guess. I don’t know.”
“Please don’t. I-I’ll do anything, anything you say.”
The strange human reached out a hand, “Can... can I touch you?”
“I-if you w-want...” Eclaire trembled as the hand reached closer. It touched his muzzle, just below his left eye. The human sat down and put his hand instead on the pony’s head, between his large, expressive eyes.
“You’re warm.”
“You’ve got cold hands.”
“I was... outside. It’s cold out there in the mornings.”
After a few moments of silence, the pony spoke up nervously, “I’m Eclaire, from Equestria. I live in Neighsby, I cook. I came here because I kinda wanted to see humans.”
“Ben. I live in Manhatten, kinda. I don’t have a home. I... live with my gang. I ran away from home, my papa used to beat me and my momma drank. I ain’t down with that, so I left. Got me... got me some real friends. Least I thought I had.”
“A gang’s like a herd, isn’t it?”
“Kinda.”
“What do you do?”
Ben sighed, “Bad stuff, mostly. I don’t know how to do anything else.”
“You... could come with me? If you want. Misses Trifle has a room a-and could use some help.”
“Me, a pony? Why would you want me?”
“Why not?”

***

Vertigo blew his mane out of his eyes as he trotted through the underbelly of the complex. He kept his eyes on the old man and the pony in front of him. Every so often he caught Summer looking back at him. He nipped the earth pony in the butt, which cause Summer to raise and flick his tail. A warm shiver ran through his body as he peered at that backside. He... he didn’t like colts, did he? He was a stallion’s stallion, but not in that way... but he cared for this earth pony, very much. He couldn’t ignore it. This Summer was... different. The same, but different. More sure of himself, bossier, more... more like a stallion, he guessed. It didn’t matter, he found he liked... no, he loved this stallion all the same. He hung his head.

It was the flicking of Summer’s tail that snapped him back to reality. He looked up again as Summer had slowed his walk every so slightly, his tail lifted just up and to the right. The bloody stallion was swaggering. Vertigo felt a stirring in his loins and his wings shot half-out before he managed to shake himself and force them back into position. Damn that mar-... him, he thought, as his nose was all but buried in the base of Summer’s tail. He fought the urge to nip and snort as hard as he could. Rainclouds, he told himself. Boring rainclouds. Fixing the weather maker. Snow. That evening on the clouds above Ponyville whilst the light drizzle made a perfect rainbow as the sun set... Dammit.

***

“Fuck! The cops!” hissed Simone, “Get over here, I think I can get this open... yeah, purely mechanical, no smarts at all. I think I’ve got a suitable bump-key...”
“A what?” hissed Edge.
“Fuck, Edge, don’t they teach you anything? Bump key, bump key!” the girl produced what appeared to be an ordinary set of keys. She sorted through them quickly before exclaiming loudly and inserting one of the keys into the lock on the door. She took out what looked like a hammer with the shaft removed and started hitting the key and jiggling it as she did so. After a few seconds, the key turned all the way and the door opened.
“Woah, Simone, you rock!”
“Yeah, I know. Get your ass in here!”

Through the door was a stairway leading down. The lights here were a strange reddish orange, and it was musty and warm. Edge and Simone walked carefully, they could hear talking not far off.
“Ponies! Let’s follow ‘em!”
“Ponies and humans. Bet they work here. These guys’ll know where some serious shit is. You help me carry, Edge, I’ll give you a cut. Thirty percent.”
“Thirty?”
“Thirty or nothing.”
Edge scowled. He was getting bored. Bunking off school had sounded like fun, and breaking in to the Bureau had been mega-awesome. Sneaking around with a cute chick was sweet, but he wanted to... he wanted to prove himself. Or something. Yeah.
“Thirty it is then. Come on, Edge.”

The pair stepped quietly and carefully. They watched silently as a tubby old man took some sort of special key out of his suit and opened another door. Inside, halogen lights flickered on brightly. The room beyond was bare, apart from what looked like two kegs, some empty beakers and a few flasks filled with varying shades of liquids. The brown pony took, with the help of the humans, both kegs on his back and a couple of flasks into a bag around his neck. Then, the group moved on.

Simone and Edge waited for a few minutes before moving.
“Let’s get ‘em!”
“Edge, you so dumb. This is it, the motherload. Ponification potion! We can be in and out with all of this and nobody will know until it’s too late. Do you know what this stuff is worth on the black market? I’ll be rich!”
“Hey, what about me?”
“Fuck you, that’s what about you. I can carry all this myself!”
“No you fuckin’ don’t!” Edge jumped and grabbed a cherry-coloured flask, “This one’s mine!”
“Keep it.” spat Simone, before she started loading the rest up into her voluminous coat. Within minutes, she’d cleared the lot, and had done a runner. Edge was left holding the smallish flask of cherry-red potion. He sighed. Now what?

***

Summer trotted along through the warren of corridors. He found he was enjoying himself, despite everything. He flicked his tail again, it made him feel warm inside as Vertigo’s wings flared almost in time to his trot. It really was the motion of the ocean more than the size of the wave, he thought to himself. His mind wandered back to Ponyville. That night, on the clouds, snuggled up to Vertigo, covered by his wings to keep the chill out. He still loved the pegasus, it still hurt. He sobered, what was he going to do? Did he... did he really want Vertigo? Did the pegasus want him? Vertigo had come all this way to find him, if what Alice had said was true he’d almost died trying... everything would have been so much easier if he’d just stayed a mare, if he hadn’t told Vertigo anything.
Summer mentally kicked himself, a second thought reminded him that everything would have been so much easier if he’d never been a mare in the first place, but... that felt wrong, somehow. He’d gone from human to mare as much as from human to pony. That vial of... whatever it was that Twilight had cooked up. That had changed him from... what he’d become, into this. It was almost as if he hadn’t been supposed to be a stallion, but that was crazy talk! It didn’t make sense! None of it did! He’d been a man all his life! He’d never liked other men, had he? Vertigo wasn’t even a man, he was a stallion! ...Then again, he didn’t like girls now. Was he gay, as a stallion? Could that even happen? Did ponies have ‘gay’ as a concept? Did ponies have same-sex relations? Could Vertigo have... Summer shook his head to try to clear the insistent ‘what if’s’. He focused instead on two facts: he loved Vertigo, and for better or worse, Vertigo clearly felt something for him. Things would work out, somehow.

“Now girls and ponies, if’n old Gumby hasn’t quite lost it, this’ll be the cafeteria. Stay with me now, we don’t know what’s going on up top proper, like.”
Gumby took out his collection of keys, and opened the door. The lock was stiff, they didn’t usually use the warrens to enter the common areas, but it opened. It was Pudding who noticed them first. She shrieked and almost dropped the sandwiches she’d been making. Almost, and for Pudding, that was quite a thing.
“Summer! You’re okay! I was so worried.”
Vertigo sniffed, “Oh, I see. Gone a month and already chasing the fillies.”
Pudding blinked, “Who are you, then? You’re not from around here. Convert? No, no, you’ve got your cutie-mark... Summer hon, who’s that?”
“This is... my coltfriend, Vertigo.”
“Eeeeh!” squealed Pudding, “I knew it! He’s gorgeous. I knew you had somepony back home, and I just knew he wasn’t a filly. Just wait ‘til I tell Barcode, that mule’ll be braying for weeks that I won the pot!” the bright yellow unicorn danced away laughing, leaving both Vertigo and Summer blushing.
“Coltfriend?”
“I... you are.” said Summer, “I’m sorry, Vertigo. I should ne-never have told you! I should have just kept my stupid muzzle shut. We’d have been s-so happy!” tears rolled down Summer’s face.
“Shh, Summer Glenn, if you loved me, how could you go on not telling me? I’m sorry I took it the way I did, but do you blame me? Hearing that my fillyfriend is a stallion?”
“B-but I wasn’t! I was a mare, through and through!”
“Rarity explained, badly. What did she mean?”
“There’s this... other version of the potion.” Summer turned his flank towards Vertigo, “It’s right here, in fact. They started manufacturing it again after... well, after me. For those males who want... to be female when they go pony.”
“That happens?” asked Vertigo.
Alice spoke up, “It does. I had a friend, years ago. He... didn’t feel right as a man. I lost touch with him, but he was heading to get some serious surgery. It wasn’t cheap, I worry about him sometimes.”
“Twilight’s stuff... the potion she cooked up that I took, they have that here, too. It’s in very short supply, because it’s dangerous for newfoals. If you take it too quickly, it could prove fatal. I... I have some.”
“If you take it, you’ll be a mare?”
Summer nodded, “It’s very quick.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.” said Vertigo, softly.
“I know. If you did, I don’t think I could be with you.”
“I know. I won’t. I don’t think I could take it, and if you tried to make me...”
Summer nodded, tears in his eyes again, “I’d be a monster. You can’t be asked to change what you are for somepony else, even if the price is... happiness.”
Vertigo shuddered with tears, nodding. He turned away to face the door, and froze.

“My little fucking ponies.” said a new voice.
Summer, Alice and the girls spun from where they were talking. The figure in the doorway to the underground warrens held one hand to the back of his head, and the other held a gun.
Gumby’s hand went to the spanner in his utility belt. He snatched it up and swung, but a single shot from the gun felled him. There was screaming from some of the girls. Alice went to the man. He was breathing heavily, blood pooling on his overalls.
“Gumby! You’ll be okay... shit, shit, I don’t know anything about gunshot wounds!”
“Backoff, sister!”
“He’s dying, you bastard! You shot him!”
“And? So fall all who oppose the greater glory of Man. Now get back, all of you! All of you!” Stewie brandished his gun, waving it about, “If anyone else wants a bullet in the brain, just let me know.”
“Gumby!” hissed Summer, under his breath, trotting over.
“I told you to stay still! We’re all going to sit pretty until I get my demands seen to...”
“And you’ll have a lot more luck with them if this man doesn’t die!” shouted Alice.
“Gumby, it’s... it’s going to be alright.” said Summer, his voice wavering as he shrugged himself out of one of the kegs.
“What are you doing?”
“This is potion, it’ll ponify him, and save his life.” said Summer, watching as the keg rolled away from him, “If you let me, I’ll give some to him, he’ll turn into a pony and he won’t die, and you won’t be charged with murder.”
“Shit!” swore Stewie. He pointed the gun at Summer, “Get it then! Get it! Give the old bastard some potion!”
Summer nodded and walked, very slowly, towards the keg, not taking his eyes off the man with the gun. Suddenly, he whirled, and lashed out with his hind legs.

An earth pony is considered the least desirable pony, by plenty of newfoals. They don’t fly, they don’t have obvious magic... so what good are they? Well, ask any earth pony and he or she will tell you. They are strong. Their bodies can withstand enormous amounts of pressure. They are phenomenally powerful and very, very dextrous.

Summer’s hind legs connected with the keg, in a split second accelerating it seemingly faster than sound. Stewie had no chance. He raised his arm and pulled the trigger, but the metal barrel was already slamming itself into his body. He was thrown back against the wall, where his body, his head and the barrel all came to rest with a very final-sounding crack. Stewie’s nose bled, a small trickle of crimson, as his eyes stared sightlessly off into space. He crumpled to the ground, dead.
“I’d get away from the potion in case it leaks, if I were you. Those kegs aren’t pressurized, but if you get it on your skin, you could be in for a very uncomfortable time, if you even survive the transformation.” Summer’s voice was flat, emotionless, as he warned the approaching onlookers back. He turned back to Gumby, “I can get you some of that potion, now, Gumby.”
The old man coughed, but shook his head, “No, no, Summer. Old Gumby won’t take none.”
“Please! Please, you gotta!”
“I ain’t gotta be doin’ nothing, young pony.” he coughed again, “Ain’t I taught you nothin’? Ol’ Gumby’s been waitin’ to go home.”
“Please! You can come home with me!”
“You find...” Gumby coughed and wheezed, “you find your home... first.” The old man slumped. Alice let a little sob escape her lips as she felt for a pulse, but found none. She closed his eyes and lay him down on the ground, and wept.

As if in answer, the fire suppression system finally burst from the stray bullet, showering the canteen with water. The doors, since the system was intelligent enough to not trap anyone inside to face a fiery death, unlocked. The cafeteria exploded with noise as a whole host of armed guards, rioters and policemen fell in, the battle for the bureau very much still underway.

***

Pudding had been giving sandwiches to the newfoals, Equestrians and humans alike, when the strange man had burst in through the warrens. She watched with horror as the gun barked once, hitting Gumby. She liked Gumby. She was scared, what in Celestia’s name should she do?
She stood riveted to the spot as the keg was bucked and the man went down, it was only when the water poured form the ceiling and the mob poured in through the doors that time returned to normal. Things had gone from bad to worse!
She leaped into her kitchen, hiding behind the lunch service, as shouting and screaming spread across the cafeteria. Peering above the counter, she saw human and pony alike protecting each other, with the police and swat teams doing their best to keep them separate from the intruders.
“He-hello, can anypony hear me? This is Elegance, Elegance Flare... I’m in the CCC!” came a voice over the intercom, amplified by the computer systems to make the unicorn audible over the din.
“Ella?” shouted Pudding, looking around.
“Pudding! I see you! Hold tight, the army is coming! Oh, cornsarnit, the stupid monitors changed... go back to the cafeteria! Back! Yes! Pudding! I see you! Oh, you’re in quite a stew, dear!”
“The army!?” squeaked Pudding.
“Yes! All those nasty humans... oh that sounds terrible of me... there are good humans too but... oh!”
“Ella! You’re not helping!”
“I’m trying to!”

The unicorn behind the intercom rattled off a list of building-sections where intruders were battling newfoals, directing police and swat teams to various locations, along with a running commentary to Pudding about everything. The yellow unicorn was cowering behind the service as Summer, some other lime-green pegasus and the three young girls with some other woman fended off protesters with frying pans, rolling pins, as well as hooves and teeth. She felt so useless! She hated being in such a stew!

“Stew! That’s it!” Pudding cried, her gaze turning to the kitchen racks full of knives, lades, pots, pans and other cooking implements. Her horn started to glow.

***

“Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! Fucking bastard! Fuck you! Eat it you shit!” screamed Summer. He was mad, livid, frothing at the mouth even, as he turned and spun, hooves flashing out every which way. Slowly he cleared a circle around himself, snarling in a most un-ponylike way. When the combatants backed off, he reared up, “Yeah, you want some? Come and get some! Come and...”
“Summer,” barked Vertigo, “Duck!”

Summer turned, and flinched. Through the air, weaving around him so close he could hear it, sped a veritable hurricane of knives. He flinched, cowering to the ground, as he spied Pudding, the small and demure unicorn chef, with an unearthly look of pure calm on her muzzle and a bright glow about her horn. He turned back to the battle, as the tide very definitely turned in favour of the bureau. Shouts of fighting and anger turned to screams of pain and shock as the flying blades nicked ears, shaved heads, sliced off fingers and filetted clothing. There is nothing quite so demoralizing as having an army of silverware deciding it wants to turn you into shish-kabob.
Effortlessly, Pudding herded the entire group of attackers into the middle of the cafeteria, where the police and swat teams surrounded them. The glow from her horn faded and the knives, which had been circling like sharks, dropped to the floor. Not a single attacker dared cross the line.

A ragged cheer went up amongst the denizens of the Hackensack Bureau as their security chief saluted their chef, smiling, before running to the double doors to hug a soft-white unicorn with a perfectly placed fiery red and orange mane and tail. Elegance Flare nuzzled the head of security, “I was so worried about you, Mister Morris!”
“Please, Ella, call me Leonard, or Lenny.”
“Alright, Lenny.” she laughed, blushing.

Summer slumped to the ground, exhausted. He breathed heavily and yawned. A shape slumped next to him. He opened his eyes to see it was Vertigo.
“How’re you doing, hon?” the pegasus asked
“Could be better, could be worse. Lost a friend, today.”
“Found an old one?”
Summer nuzzled Vertigo, “I think so.”

It was then that the door to the warrens slammed open again, and a young man stepped out, brandishing a small vial. Immediately several sets of stun guns, pepper sprays and nightsticks were brandished in his direction.
“That’s it, ponies! Just watch me! I’ve got your secret, here! I know what you’re up to! This... ponification, it’s bullshit! It’s all a lie! They drug you, then they scoop your brains out, and then they replace you with a pony double! Tell them! You there! Tell them this potion won’t change me into a pony!”
Summer blinked, the crazy... “Kid, stop.”
“No! Tell them!” he shrieked
Summer shook his head, “Officers, it’s okay, he’s not dangerous. Kid,”
“Edge! It’s Edge!”
“Edge, that potion won’t turn you into a pony, not the same way they all think it will.” said Summer, with a smirk.
“I know! See! I told you! Now the truth unfolds! I want everyone to see this! Everyone!”

Edge would be famous. He knew that now. He’d go down in history as the one to make the ugly truth of hte ponification bureaus mainstream news. He flipped open the vial and tossed back it’s contents. Strange, he thought to himself, I thought this was supposed to taste of grape, not cherry?
Very slowly, he crumpled to the floor.

Edge opened his eyes again. He’d had such a strange dream, and the two strange winged ponies in it had had horns! And they’d... they’d told him off!
“How do you feel, Edge?”
Edge yawned, stretching. He felt good! “I’m... I’m alright, I guess.”
“Okay then, just lay still, this is going to be a bit uncomfortable.” said the same female voice.
“Why? Are you going to scoop out my brains now?”
“Hardly, I need to check something. I’m giving you a physical,” the woman pulled on a pair of latex gloves with an audible snap, “and it’s going to feel more than a little uncomfortable. You’re lucky you’re officially in a legal grey area, now, since you’re a pony.”
“Why? What?”
The woman, Edge watched her get up from where she’d had a stethoscope to his chest, walked to his hind-quarters and lifted his tail, “Well, if you were still human you’d be charged with all manner of crimes. As it is, you’ll have to throw yourself on the mercy of the princesses... but not before I’ve finished your physical.”
“With the gloves?” Edge gulped.
“Oh yes, I’ve got to make sure you made the transition alright.”
Edge yelped as the woman’s cold hands went somewhere under his tail... not just under, but in. “Hang on... what’re you..?”
“Yes, yes, this seems to be okay, no deformities.”
“Whoo-hooo-what’re you doing?”
“Nice shape, colour’s okay... Oh my, stay away from the stallions for a while or you could have a lot more to explain to your family.”
“Will you get your hands off me!”
“No, you little creep, I won’t. I’m a fully trained vet and I believe your exact words were ‘I want everyone to see this’, so no. You get no privacy. So sue me, and I remind you, you’ll have to talk to your new heads of state, if they’ll even pay you the courtesy. I’ve got their medical branch on speed-dial, they’ll verify the necessity of an internal examination in cross-gender conversions like this.” the woman felt between Edge’s legs, and he couldn’t help but note that whilst the woman was gentle enough, she was very thorough. She gently massaged two outcroppings that hadn’t been there before... and his heart sank as he noticed three more vitally important biological pieces of equipment were entirely absent.
Her words sunk in.
"I’m a mare?”
“Quite, and a completely healthy one, at that. It seems that potion R63 has once again led to a subject ‘flashing pink’, but other than that you’re in top shape.”
“Flashing pink?”
“You’re in season, dear, hence I advise you to keep your tail down and stay away from the stallions for a while. One or two may get a bit frisky, and your own hormones may get you into a situation you might just regret eleven months or so down the road.”

***

Alice lay back on the bed, three foals scattered around her. They were sixteen, so technically they weren’t foals, but still. They were kids, so that kinda made them foals. She guessed they were hers, now, if she wanted. Ponies were a very gregarious lot, and when they formed bonds, they were hard to break. She had turned out to be an earth pony, like Summer, her coat a glowing aquamarine and her mane sea-blue and white. The three girls had transformed into one of each, with the scheming Liz becoming an earth pony too, much to her chagrin. The quiet Debs was a pegasus, Trish was a unicorn.

They hadn’t had to change, but they’d wanted to. The expansion phase, or whatever it was, had stopped. For now. Many had gone pony anyway, others had sloped off back to their dorms to wait their turn. Some, expectedly, had gone home. It was all a bit crazy, really. The craziest was a piebald pony that had sneaked in with a little chocolate-and-white coloured beauty apparently called Eclaire. Everyone knew he’d come in with the rioters, but the two stallions seemed quite happy together.
“Takes all sorts.” she said, under her breath.
“Hmm?” asked Vertigo.
“Oh, nothing, V. How’re you holding up?”
“I dunno, Alice.”
Alice smiled, “Do you love him?”
“I do.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“None, I guess.”
“Then go be a... a colt-cuddler, is that what you call it? I won’t think any less of you.”
“What’ll all my buddies say?”
“Won’t they be happy for you? You go flying through a storm and fight in a battle for the one you love, that’s gotta mean something. There was a famous man said, once; thems as matter don’t mind, and thems as mind don’t matter.”
“I wish it were that easy.” Vertigo nuzzled the form next to him softly.
“It is.” said a small voice, “Vertigo, I love you.”
“I... I love you too.”
“I still have some of Twilight’s stuff, you know.”
“You don’t have to drink it.” Vertigo wriggled until he stood up, “I know you’ve got a coin or two. Let’s flip one.”
“You what?”
“A coin. A bit.” Vertigo dug out a coin from Summer’s bag, holding it in his teeth.
“Okay, let me just get the potion. So, V, heads I win, right? I’m calling it, heads.”
“Uh-huh!” Vertigo flipped the coin into the air and watched it spin intently.
“Heads I win, tails I win.” said Summer, flicking open the top of the vial and downing it in one.

***

The day was bright and hard. The police were still clearing up the detritus from the riot, plenty of people had been arrested, but few had died.
Summer Glenn, she had kept the name change, trotted next to Pointe Vertigo as the group of ponies moved down the road towards the docks. Summer ‘accidentally’ leaned against the lime-green pegasus next to her, his wings splayed out uncontrollably. Summer laughed.
“You didn’t have to do that!”
“I know, but I wanted to. I... I guess I got used to being a mare. It felt weird, being a stallion.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” Summer kissed Vertigo on the cheek, “I just wanted you to know that. I would never accept it if you’d demanded I change myself, but I think I’m allowed to change myself if I want.”
“I still feel bad.”
“Then maybe we can talk to Twilight, see how many times this can be used, huh?”
“Kinky!”
“Ugh!” said Alice, forcing her way between the two, “You are awful. Setting a bad example for the girls.”
“Sorry Alice!” the pair cried, as the aquamarine pony bounced easily up the gangplank and onto ‘The Pride of Lyons’. Somehow, the pony had taken to her new legs as if she’d been born with them. The three girls had found a gait that let them be mobile, at least, and were eagerly following Alice.
After a good degree of swearing, they moved off and out into the ocean, towards Equestria.

***

Passing through the shield is a different experience for everypony, same as taking the potion is. Alice noted with interest how she tingled all over, like being dusted with a thousand feathers, and how the world seemed momentarily to turn upside down and inside out. Moments later, she felt a rush as her little boat crossed the threshold, and then they were through.
It was easy, in a way, to tell they were through to Equestria. Firstly, the sun was different. It was warmer, brighter, yet friendlier. The air was sweet and tangy, mixing with the salt in a pleasant melange. The clouds looked different, too, almost like cotton candy.
The biggest difference, though, the absolute biggest difference, was that the engine on their boat stopped working.
“Well shit.” said Alice, “Anyone got a... er... V? You ponies got cellphones?”
Vertigo laughed, “I can do better than that. There’re some pegasi I can hail, I’m sure, they’ll find a ship that can help us.

“Ahoy there, strangers!” called the voice. It belonged to a white-coated earth pony with a light blue mane.
“Ahoy there, Anchor!” called Summer.
“As I live and breathe, young Summer the newfoal. You look a mite different than when we last met.”
Summer and Vertigo looked at each other, and laughed.  “It’s complicated!” they both called.
> Message in a Bottle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 9


Message in a Bottle


Note: This chapter is fluff, through and through. Enjoy (I hope).

***

        Summer snored from the hammock strung up on deck. She rocked gently back and forth, twitching her tail every so often. The end of her beautiful burgundy tail - beautiful despite the fact it was rather scruffy and stiff with salt water - had a good length of twine fastened to it. As she twitched her tail, it would pull the hammock, and she would rock forwards and then back, which would make her twitch her tail again.
        Apparently, this game was called ‘fishing’ and she rather enjoyed it. Every so often though, for some reason, a fish would snap at the hook, get caught, and she’d have to pull it in. She couldn’t bear hitting the poor things on the head, but it had to be done if it was to be eaten. They weren’t for her or any of the other ponies - they didn’t eat meat, not even fish - but for the sea serpent. She’d let Reginald do it; he wanted the fish, he could do the grisly deed. She did, however, feel slightly guilty for enabling, but Reginald was a meat-eater of sorts and they did need the seaweed cakes he made. The sign attached to the string which read ‘Warning: Do Not Bite This Hook’ in Common Equestrian made her feel slightly better, she had been assured that even the creatures of the deeps spoke enough Common Equestrian - when they could speak - to know not to take the bait.
        
        Twitcha-twitch... twitchy-twitchy-twitcha-twitch...

        Summer snorted, yawned, and rolled over. Hopefully, she thought to herself, the silly thing would get free. The tugging, however, grew more insistent. She grumbled to herself, flopped out of the hammock and began to reel it in. She was actually rather amazed. If she’d been told, a scant few months ago when she was still a human, that she’d not only have but be using a tail as a fishing rod, not to mention as an appendage to reel in the line with it, she’d have laughed.
        She didn’t need a fishing rod, instead there was what amounted to a reel fixed onto the side of the boat. She slipped her tail through, pulling the rope inside and locking it in with a hoof. Then she whipped her tail around and around, pulling on a crank. It latched up notch by notch, and eventually some largish species of dumb fish flopped impotently against the sides of the boat. She wriggled her tail free of the rope, coiling it neatly into the bargain, and then realized she was completely alone.
        Apart from the fish. The choking, flopping, hooked fish.
        “Oh my gosh this is terrible! Vertigo! Vertigo! Help! You gotta help! Alice! Kids! Anypony!”
        She ran about from one side of the boat to the other before the sleep-befuddlement cleared enough from her head for her to remember, ah yes, the dinner bell! To the back of boat then, to the stern! Though, with the size of her boat, it was more like the mildly serious.

        Her boat, she thought proudly. Well technically it belonged to Alice, though Alice had sort of given it to her and Vertigo as a wedding present. They’d traded in the engines to an intrigued unicorn and earth-pony pair for a set of sails and rigging which had been retrofitted in no time flat thanks to a little magic. With a little luck, a weather-pony pegasus and the good weather that afforded them, they’d gone on a honeymoon in the South Ocean. Surprisingly, Alice and kids had come with them, via Seapony’s Fancy and the two ponies that crewed her, Sea Spray and Anchor Watch. Alice loved the ocean, so had jumped at the chance to crew a real Equestrian boat. The kids, the three sixteen-year-old kids who’d been Converted under somewhat extraordinary circumstances and who’d stuck together ever since, had followed her.

        That left Summer and Vertigo, on the Pride of Lyons. Together. Alone... almost.
        “Ah, my dear, that’s a splendid catch! Simply splendid!”
        Summer had been yanking on the rope which led down to a sunken ship’s bell. The sound would carry for miles underwater. The turquoise and light purple sea serpent, better known against all probability as Reginald clapped his paws together and lifted the fish into the air. “Oh yes, this one’s a beauty. Turn around Summer darling, I know you don’t like this bit.”
        Summer bit her lip, and turned, closing her eyes.
        “Oh fishy fish, I give you but one chance to save yourself. Speak up and I shall spare your life.”
        Summer waited. She wasn’t sure which would be worse - having one of her catches speak up and knowing she’d hooked a sentient being, or the usual result which was...

        Whack.

        Summer winced.
        “There there, all done. Quick and clean. A dragon has to eat, you know, we’re not like you ponies.”
        Summer sighed, turning around. “I know. You’re an apex predator. I used to be, you know. If you don’t eat the fish and control the population, they would first thrive and then starve by the masses.”
        “You just don’t like it. A true Equestrian heart beats ‘neath that pretty hide of yours.”
        “Oh stop, you’ll make Vertigo jealous, and then he’ll sulk.”
        “Not much chance of that, Summer. All this fresh air and sunshine, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?”
        “Noticed what?”
        Reginald blushed, covering his muzzle with one paw, “Oh I’m sure it’s not my place to say, but... there is a reason you’ve been left high and dry. Alice sees herself as a surrogate, so her body is skipping things so far, but being too close may set things off. You on the other hand...”
        Summer mentally investigated herself. That same... warm glowing feeling as when she’d first turned pony. The strange pangs. That... kind of itch.
        “Reggie, do you happen to know where Vertigo is?”
        “I believe he is negotiating storm-free passage to a local island chain.”
        “Get him. Now.”

***

        Boats, thought Summer to herself as she lay curled up next to Vertigo, were wonderful things for exploring. She wriggled and stretched, careful not to wake her stallion. She felt amazing. She was sweaty, grimy, sticky, she smelled of her stallion and she loved every inch of it. She had loved every inch of it. They’d been lively in the lifeboats - well, tender in the tender. They’d gotten tangled up in the rigging. The crows nest had been a tricky one. They’d attempted to... well, she wasn’t going to mention what they’d tried in ‘the head’ even to her diary, but it hadn’t really worked - the boat was, after all, originally built for humans. It had been a little bit too cramped. The galley would need a good tidying up, and they’d finally found their way to the bed in the captain’s cabin.
        Summer was now languishing in that sort of glow which only comes from being with just the right sort of pony in the just the right sort of way. She idly wondered which way it had been. Experimentation would be the key to solving this riddle. For science!
        Vertigo yawned and stretched. He found a pair of pony lips kissing his forehooves.
        “Ready for round two?”
        “I think it’s... round nine?”

***

        Alice deftly tied the rope into a knot with her muzzle and hooves, and stood back to appreciate her handiwork. She nodded happily to herself. Perfect. All it would take now is a breeze... something that delinquent Vertigo was supposed to deliver.
        “Vertigo! Pointe Vertigo! Where is that stallion...”
        “Ah, madame, young love keeps him occupied. Seaweed cake?”
        “Reggie, where’s Vertigo?”
        Reginald flipped his ears happily as he held out a tray on which were a collection of small, green cakes, “Isn’t it obvious?”
        “Still? I need that flighty feathered horndog to stir us up some wind with the weather pegasi hereabouts. He’s still with Summer?”
        “Uh-huh.”
        “Ugh! Men! They’re all animals!”
        “Guilty as charged. You really should try these cakes though, fresh from the oven!” Reginald twirled around as he exclaimed loudly in a sing-song voice.
        “An oven? Underwater? Where on Ear- Equestria do you find an oven, underwater?”
        “The kitchen of course! How about you ask Debs? She’s sweet on Zephyr Twist, the darling little silver and blue stallion who was hanging around all yesterday.”
        “Sweet on him? That letch! She’s sixteen!”
        “So’s he!”
        “Augh! Yes, fine, yes. DEBORAH!” Alice spun about on her heels and yelled for the peach pegasus with the light green mane, who sheepishly poked her head out from a cloud floating some twenty above the Seapony’s Fancy. “There you are. Go find this... this... Zephyr Twist and...”
        “Yes Miss Alice?” asked a second form. It was, in fact, a silver pegasus with a metallic blue mane and tail. Alice could see the blush all the way from where she was standing on the deck.
        Alice narrowed her eyes. “Zephyr, if I find you’ve been making inappropriate moves on Deborah I will have you gelded, is that clear?”
        Zephyr gulped, audibly, and nodded, “Yes Miss Alice.”
        “Go tell your boys to whip some wind up, both of our boats. You said we’re heading South?”
        “South, uh-huh! We’ve got a big blow-over, it’ll be a real treat to watch. the Sky Caravan’ll keep you safe, and we’ll make sure the storm doesn’t make land. You’re booked to berth in a small island for a few days, then we’ll be moving on. You can make landfall on the Southern Reaches or sail back up North... or around the cape with us.”
        “Let’s get to those islands first, we can discuss things after. And Debs, you get back down here right now.”
        “You’re not my Mom! And he was making all the right moves!”
        “Debs! Debs! Augh!” Alice stomped her hoof as both of the pegasi fluttered off back to the movable sky-castle that had been seeing to their weather needs.
        “They make a pretty pair.”
        “Reginald! They’re kids!”
        “Ah-ah, they’re adults. Young adults, but adults.”
        “They can’t bring up foals alone at their age! And that’s what’ll happen if they’re...”
        “Alone?” Reginald looked horrified, “They’ll have the whole Sky Caravan to help, if that’s what they decide. Miss Alice, it may be time to let your foal swim free.”
        “She’s not my foal... it’s just kind of my fault she’s here.”
        “You made her drink this... ponification serum?”
        “No, but...”
        “Then, Miss Alice, you will have the sensible talk and persuade them to be careful... if they are not, they will have an entire herd to help them. Alone. Pfah! You... newfoals, so strange. I must head back to my lair now, but I shall be back later. I know the island chain, very pretty. There are some handsome stallion ponies there too, hmm?”
        “Good point. I may have lost one, but the other two...”
        Reginald rolled his eyes, “My dear Alice, I was thinking for you.”

***

        The boats were anchored securely in a bay along with a whole flotilla of smaller and larger craft. Alice was laying in the warm sand next to Trish and Liz, and glaring up at a cloud where Deborah and Zephyr Twist were canoodling. Out to sea, thunder and lightning raged. The waves were high, but broke across the natural barrier so the ships were barely rocking. There was a fire on the beach, a large bonfire of sticks and brush, and Vertigo and Summer were laying next to it, drying off. Vertigo was licking her ears clean. Alice grumbled under her breath.
        “Today... today was awesome.” said Vertigo, rubbing his head against his mare.
        “Uh-huh.” Summer yawned, leaning against her stallion.
        “Tonight... could be more awesome.”
        “Uh-hu-wha’? No! Gerrof!” She rolled away from Vertigo and pushed him lightly with a hoof.
        Vertigo looked hurt, “What? What’s wrong? You’ve been so interested these last few days...”
        Summer immediately felt ashamed, “I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just tired, is all. Tired and happy. We have been working hard at it.” She kissed him on the cheek and leaned happily against him.
        Vertigo shuffled his wings and placed one over Summer and snuffled at the earth pony mare, “Ah, hmm... Oh!”
        “What?” Summer yawned again, nuzzling Vertigo softly in the warm firelight. She felt good, very good. Relaxed, fulfilled.
        “Honey... did you ever... have you ever... I mean...”
        “Out with it, silly-feathers!”
        “What do you feel about... us... and... er, another?”
        “A threeso-!?”
        “I meant a foal!” blurted the light green pegasus.
        “Oh, well, one day...”
        “How about in eleven months?”
        “Eleven months?” replied Summer, “That’s oddly...oh. You mean..?”
        “Yes.”
        “I’m..?”
        “Uh huh, you were in heat, after all.”
        Summer shuffled her hooves as she lay against the stallion, “Odd. I... I guess I should have realised. I never even thought about it, I mean I used to be... and I couldn’t have...”
        “Do... do you want to keep it?”
        “Oh Vertigo, I didn’t exactly plan it, but here? In Equestria? Well, when in Equestria, do as the Equestrians do. He, or she, will just have to put up with me. Oh good grief this is going to be weird... do you have epidurals in Equestria? Do you need them? Do foals wear diapers? Do they... you don’t have feeding bottles do you. Oh I guess you must but I’ll be expected to... but I guess I want to... I’m going to need a job, if you can’t still have yours back, what am I going to do? I don’t even have a cutie mark! My foal can’t be born to a mare without a cutie-mark!”
        Vertigo laughed, “Calm down. If I can cope with explaining to everypony about my beautiful mare, you can cope with having a foal.”
        “Oh I suppose so. I’ve got eleven months to get used to the idea after all.”
        “That’s more like it.” Vertigo nuzzled Summer, finally putting his head on top of hers and pulling her closer.
        “I... Vertigo?”
        “Yes love?”
        “We can still... right?”
        “If you want.”
        “I want.”
        “Right now?”
        “No!” Summer laughed, “Horndog.”
        “Tease!”
        “Jerk.”
        “Temptress!”
        “Stud!”
        ...And then they did, after all.

***

        “Princess, wake up. The rains will be coming soon, and you, like your two lovely daughters, must find shelter.”
        “Hmm? Go ‘way. Five more minutes, Mom...”
        “Señorita I must insist.”
        The hoof digging into her side was gentle, but insistent. Alice opened her eyes to look up into the muzzle of a young earth stallion. He was a gentle coffee-cream colour, his eyes the same.
“Cocoa Butter? Hmm?”
“The rains, princess, they come.” 
“I should get to my boat.”
Cocoa Butter shook his head, his dark brown mane playing across his eyes most fetchingly, “There is no time, princess. Come with me. Your two lovely daughters have already found shelter, you should come with me.”
Alice sighed, yawning in the dawn light, “Alright. Lead the way, CB.”

Alice was led to a modest hut, it was sturdily constructed of wood with a thatched roof. Inside was a treasure-trove. Paintings and sculptures adorned the walls, along with various fishing implements and what looked like a surf-board. Her eyes were drawn to one thing in particular, a strange flask with a piece of what appeared to be paper sticking out of it. The flask had a familiar shape...
“Cocoa, what’s that?” Alice pointed with a hoof.
“Ah, princess, this was a gift from a newfoal, like you. He said to look after it. One day, he said, there will be a girl who may come asking for it. Do you wish to see? I cannot read it, but I keep it safe.”
“Show me. Please.”
Alice looked around the room again, really looked. There was a plastic box of fishing hooks and floats. Made in China. The surfboard, made in America. There were glass bottles with the remains of lazer-etched diagrams on them. Trash, flotsam... from Earth.
“Cocoa, before I read it, tell me about this stallion.”
“He was a pegasus, princess, but he could not fly too well. He said they found him in a strange raft, a balloon - it must have fallen from the sky, yet he said it floated well. He had no posessions, save one thing: this bottle.”
Alice looked at the bottle as Cocoa placed it on his modest table. She recognized it. An erlenmeyer flask, portable, with a stopper. She supposed she still had one in her own boat, but she’d never opened the storage unit to check. It was a standard-issue emergency ponification dose. Small boats had only one, if any. The potion was free, but the equipment to hold it was expensive, since opening it was supposed to set all sorts of alarms off. It was supposed to open only to registered people, and they were regularly checked... by the lowest bidders. She mentally face-hoofed for never checking if her case was even loaded, but then even a checking examination cost time and money she hadn’t had, not with the loan to pay off the boat.
“I... once new a man with a boat. There was a storm, they told me it boiled over from Equestria. The boat sunk, but the coastguard towed it back because they said it was a hazard to shipping and they couldn’t just sink it. I had it repaired and refloated. It was missing the lifeboat, and the captain, but...”
“Princess, maybe you should read the letter.”
Alice pulled it out with her teeth and then unrolled it. She mumbled under her breath as she read it. The message was in Ameringlish, but one word stuck out to her in particular.
A name.
Alice.

> Mixed Signals
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Guest Chapter


Mixed Signals


by Videomaster21XX
Edited by and Posted with permission by Midnight Shadow





Blue. Everywhere he looked was the same rolling blue. It was calming he supposed. Almost like he could lose himself within the vastness of it all. As if the very ocean could simply wash away all his worries. At least... He certainly would have liked it to.

It had been a couple of days now since he had boarded the first in a series of Equestrian ships, asking for passage from each one to where ever they happened to be going. He didn't mine, as long as he got to Equestria eventually.
For payment, he helped out when he could, but otherwise kept to himself. He was on a quest after all. Not that he really had any idea where to go. Generally most boats would have headed straight to the mainland of Equestria. It was just his bum luck that the first had been the exception to such a voyage, and had been littered with little side stops. Still, it kinda suited his mission. With each stop he would go on shore and ask around one simple question. The same question he had been asking for days now.

So far, no one had been able to give the answer he desperately hoped to hear. An answer he was worried he’d never have.

Yet another gust of wind flicked at his body from behind. It had a rather good strength to it today. He knew that was suppose to be good, as it meant they’d make good time while sailing. So It was a shame he could only focus on the minor irritation it had been causing him by slapping his grey mane and tail around they way it did. The mane constantly whipping around his eyes making it difficult to see. He was sure the salty air wasn’t going to do his purple coat any favors either.
The previous days when this happened he had simply gone back to his quarters. Away from the wind, the sea, and the rest of the ship’s crew. But even that seemed like to much of a hassle for him to do today. Right now, all he could manage was to stare blankly ahead. As if the very mare he sought would appear before his weary blue eyes.

If only there had been more information... It hadn’t been hard to find which bureau she used. No, that had been the easy part. The rest however...

 Well, after what had gone down, they bureau’s were still attempting to file all the ponifications that had gone through. There had actually been several on that day, and a few unauthorized ones at that. There was simply no telling which one had been her. Not that he didn’t have any leads. There had been three sixteen year old girls that all became ponies at the same time. It made sense that she would have waited for that, for her friends to catch up to her age. 
In fact, when he checked into it, he was able to confirm that they had run off as well. So it had to be them. It just had to. If only he had thought of what she may have been planning sooner. Before her letter had arrived...

If only he had told her... She might have waited for him...

But he hadn’t told her. He had kept it a secret, and she had kept her plan a secret from him. It was karma he supposed. An eye for an eye so to speak. But now, now that she was gone...

The letter had come in the mail the following day. Delivered by a mail pony no less. He knew it was from her the moment he saw whom it was addressed to. Tommy, his old human name. She had been one of the few he hadn’t told about his ponification. That his name was Grey Bolt now. All because if they knew... Well he didn’t need to guess that any attempts to contact her after that would have been intercepted.

How ironic that it had turned out this way. Her running away from it all. Just like it seemed he had...

What if he never saw her again? Never managed to find her? He didn’t even know which type of pony she had become! How was he suppose to find her like this? All he had was her human name. No telling what the pony name she had come up with for herself was. Assuming she had come up with a pony name. Gah! He was looking for one pony newfoal among hundreds! This was a fools quest! 
Yet here he was... Sailing upon the Sea Pony Fancy in search of her. With no idea where she was, or where to even start looking for her. Still... He would look. He would travel all over Equestria if that’s what it took.

He HAD to find her, there was just no way he could let things end the way they had.


* * *


“You gonna ogle him all day, Pumpkin Cream?” The unicorn pony known as Anchor Watch asked the not-so-well hidden orange unicorn pony. Pumpkin Cream hadn’t even heard him trot up behind him, and thus nearly jumped out of his own flank at the sound of the question.
“GEEZ Anchor. Are you sure your special talent isn’t being a ninja?” Anchor Watch snorted.
“With a white coat, and blue mane such as mine? I wouldn’t blend in to the background very well unless it was snow season. Besides, you’ve been so interested in Mr. Grey Bolt over there, that I doubt you’d have noticed me had I been banging some frying pans together.” Anchor said shuffling next to him. He took a moment to watch the purple stallion himself for a few seconds before turning his attention back to his crew mate.
“He certainly is a looker. I can see why you like him.” The orange unicorn scoffed.
“Come on! It’s not like that!” He protested. Anchor Watch took a moment to study the young stallion’s face before sighing.
“I suppose not. Thought maybe you had finally taken an interest in somepony.”
“Well I have, I mean, I do... But not in that way.” The orange unicorn rambled as he ambled forward a bit into the light of the sun. It was close to the sea line now, ready to set any minute. Grey Bolt would most likely go back into the passenger quarters soon. There to stay till the morning came. Rarely would he speak to anypony on the ship. Not that there were many on the ship to talk to, but it was still strange that he kept to himself so much.
“So if you aren’t interested in him in that way, then why all the staring? “ Anchor Watch asked, breaking the unicorn from his thoughts.
“I... I don’t know really. It’s just... Well...” He closed his eyes trying to focus. Why WAS he so obsessed with this random pony?
“When he first asked for passage, I thought it was Summer Glenn all over again to be honest. The troubled look on his face. Thought he was running from something. Yet... It seems more that he’s looking for something. Or somepony, but he doesn’t talk about it, he doesn’t talk about himself. He just doesn’t talk to ponies period. I just can’t help but wonder what’s eating at him.”
“Well Pumpkin, I’ll give ya some advice. You ain’t gonna find out by just watching him.”
“I know that,” He replied with a sigh. “It’s just- Wait a minute. You called me Pumpkin again! Dagnabit Anchor! For the last time my name is Bronze! I don’t want a nickname like that!”
“Aw, but it fits you so well. I really do need to thank ol’ Summer for coming up with it!” Anchor teased while trotting away before Bronze had a chance to retaliate.
“Drat that guy, er gal...” Bronze mumbled annoyed. He almost regretted bandaging that mare up. Or should that be stallion as Summer was one during that time? Gah that pony was confusing!
She/he had been a simple earth pony. Chestnut in color, with a burgundy mane and tail. Anchor Watch had found them run ragged on the beach. They had taken him in, and being the ship’s nurse, Bronze himself of course had bandaged the wounds. It was Anchor Watch who had spoken to the pony first. Learning his/her name of Summer Glenn.
Before leaving the ship, Summer had inquired as to whom had bandaged them up. This was what had lead to their meeting in the first place. It wasn’t really that Bronze disliked Summer, they actually got along rather well. But it was just when Summer had pointed out ‘IT’
“You know... Don’t take this the wrong way...” Bronze could hear Summer recite in his head. “But that orange color with that white mane... You kinda look like a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream!”
Oh he had chuckled at it then. Even he had to admit he could see what she meant. The problem was that the Captain, Sea Spray, had overheard. He thought the name was a riot. Apparently he’d never seen the resemblance himself. Bronze wished he never had. Unfortunately, the damage had been done, and from that day onward, the Captain had begun to call him ‘Pumpkin Cream’ and the nick name stuck.
Bronze had wanted to tell that stallion Summer what for. Except the next time he saw him, the stallion had become a mare and gotten a Pegasus mate at that. What a strange life that one must have led. Those changes had been so startling for him to see, that he had forgotten to even mention the nickname business to her. Not that she didn’t learn of it. Sea Spray made sure she did. Probably didn’t know it was her fault for it in the first place though. So it’d figure that he hadn’t seen her since then. Even with their recent carting of some of her friends. He never did get the chance to call her out on it...

        Bah, he didn’t want to be thinking about that right now. Besides, he was pretty sure Grey Bolt didn’t know about his nick name anyway. They’d probably have a nice conversation if they talked. Maybe he’d even learn what was bugging the guy...
        “...Horseapples, I hate it when Anchor’s right.” Bronze spat before trotting toward Grey Bolt. He had to know. Had to see what was bugging this guy, and if there was anything he could do to help. He still didn’t know why he had to. There was no reason he should care about this guy’s problems. No reason at all, and yet... For some reason he did. He did and just wanted to help.
        “Um... Howdy...” Bronze said slowly from the stallion’s side. It almost seemed that Grey Bolt hadn’t heard. He was about to call again when Grey’s eyes finally turned in his direction.
        “Oh... Uh... Hello...” Grey Bolt said slowly while giving Bronze a confused look. He stared at him for a few moments, apparently gathering his thoughts, before saying anything more.
        “You are... Pumpkin Pie?” Bronze sighed.
        “Well, no. But I know why you might think that. The name is Bronze actually.” Grey Bolt seemed to blush a bit.
        “Oh, sorry it’s just, I over heard the others... Er, anyway, my name is Grey Bolt. It’s uh... Nice to meet you.” Grey stuck out his hoof in a gesture of greeting, which Bronze gladly partook.
        “Nice to meet you Grey Bolt. Don’t worry about the name mishap. They just like to call me that.”
        “I see.” Grey Bolt said, then more hesitantly. “Er... Which do you-”
        “Bronze.” He replied. A bit more forcibly then he had intended. Grey Bolt was taken back for a few seconds before chuckling.
        “Take it you don’t care much for your nickname?”
        “Not particularly.” 
Grey Bolt nodded with a hint of a smile. It was the first time Bronze had seen the stallion smile since coming on board. The sight actually made him feel... odd. He was happy that the guy was finally showing some form of positive emotion sure. Yet... there was more to it then that...
        “So uh... first time sailing?” Bronze cringed almost as soon as the question had left his lips. Of all the things to ask THAT was what came to mind? Grey Bolt probably thought him a ninny or something now! 
        “Yes actually.” Grey responded, his tone of speech surprising Bronze. By the look of Grey’s face he didn’t find the question odd at all.
        “It’s actually rather relaxing. I was afraid I wouldn’t be much for the sea to be honest. But I’ve been rather fine.”
        “That’s good...” Bronze said before lapsing back into silence. This was silly. Why was he standing here talking to this guy? He should be in his office looking over his supplies, or reading in his room. Why in Equestria was he so interested in this one random pony that he was here instead?
        “Can I ask you something?” Grey Bolt asked, startling him.
Bronze still wasn’t sure why he was trying to talk to this guy, but if anything he had presumed that if he had wanted Grey to say anything, he would have to be the one to work for it. Out of all the things he might have guessed to come from this idle chatter. Grey asking HIM a question was certainly not one of them. “Uh... I guess so...”
        “Do you... meet many ponies while sailing on this ship?”
Bronze actually had to think about that one. He had been sailing with the Sea Pony Fancy for a few years now. Despite the fact the Captain Sea Spray had taken up helping out some of the newfoal stragglers get to Equestria, at least the ones who didn’t manage to get on one of the bigger ships, he couldn’t really say that he had ‘met’ a lot of them. “I... I suppose you could... I’m not really the sociable type.”
Grey raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? But you started this conversation!”
Bronze found himself stunned. “W-well that is... I...” he stammered. He didn’t know what to say. Truth was he really didn’t talk to ponies all that much. Except when he had to treat them. He could be the friendly confident nurse all he needed. But to just talk for the sake of talking? Guess it just wasn’t his thing. So why had he done it tonight?
        “Heh, guess it was just a whim?” Grey said with a small chuckle.
Bronze quickly shook his head. “N-No! It’s just... I wanted-”
Grey began to laugh. “It’s fine! Really! I think we all just feel like talking to somepony at times. Better then talking to ourselves right?”
        “I... I suppose you’re right... Sorry if I’m bothering you...”
Grey laughed again. “No worries mate. I think it’d be nice to have a bit of company for once.”
        “So... You don’t mind if I hang here for a bit?”
        “Not at all. Be my guest.” With that Grey turned his attention back toward the sinking sun. It was half way set now. It’s fading light casting a beautiful glow upon the water’s edge. It... It was rather lovely actually.
        ‘Odd...’ Bronze thought as he stood there with Grey Bolt. Being a member of this ship’s crew for sometime now, it was only natural that he had come here to watch the sun set on the horizon every now and then. He did find the event rather peaceful, and well... nice. Yet... yet something tonight was different. It just couldn’t be... there had to be something different about the sea air, or the visual effect of the sun’s light upon the water. It just couldn’t be the company. No way the mere presence of one random earth pony he had just met could fill him with such a feeling... right?
        “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Grey said, causing Bronze to jump for the second time that night. He had to take several seconds to steady his breathing before it dawned on him that Grey had been talking about the sunset.
        “Indeed. Probably the best I’ve seen...” This was very confusing. What was it he was feeling? Why had he come to talk to Grey Bolt? Just what had gotten into him that had caused him to strike up a conversation with some stranger? He had never done something like this before!
        The thought was a bit of a clarification for him. He really didn’t talk much did he? Had he really just gotten so used to being alone that he had been keeping to himself? When was the last time he had done anything with either Anchor Watch or Sea Spray? Then again, maybe that was a bad example, given how those two were together...
        “So what brings you aboard the Sea Pony Fancy?” Bronze finally asked, feeling he might have done so just a bit too bluntly. The question actually surprised him that he had managed to ask it. It’d taken all his nerve just to say hello. Then again, these inner thoughts he kept having were driving him crazy. Maybe he asked it just to change his focus to something else.
        “I’m... Looking for somepony.” Grey Bolt said slowly, “Though it might be a fool’s quest.”
        “What makes you say that? Or would you rather not talk about it?”
The look on Grey’s face seemed to indicate that he was seriously considering if he should go on or not. Bronze felt himself holding his breath despite himself. Weird as it was, he seriously wanted to help this pony. ‘Please don’t have him end the conversation here...’ He found himself thinking.
        “No... It’s probably for the best I do talk about it. I believe the saying goes that you shouldn’t hold such things in?” Grey glanced at Bronze who simply shrugged. He hadn’t heard of any such saying, but it certainly sounded like a good idea.
        “I call it a fool’s quest because while I DO know she’s been ponified. I don’t know what type of pony she’s become, what she might even look like now, or what her new pony name may even be...”
Bronze began to nod before catching himself. He wasn’t sure how that action would be taken in this situation. “I... I see why you may have some doubts...” He said finally. This new information caused even more strange feelings to course through his body. Just what was going on with him tonight? In any case, that certainly sounded like a dilemma. Perhaps he should say something? He tried to think of a question to ask. “You... You have any idea where she might have gone after coming to Equestria?”
Grey shook his head. “I didn’t even know she was planning on going pony. All I know is that her and two of her friends got ponified together. I think they left the bureau with another newfoal. An older Mare. That’s all I have to go on. Thankfully all newfoals in the area I come from get to Equestria the same way; by one of the boats at the same harbor this boat was docked. So I figured if I asked around at all the harbors where the ships dock, I should come across something...”
The plan sounded solid, all things considered. Not that Bronze was some sort of expert on finding lost ponies. “So... This girl who got ponified... You must really care about her...” Bronze wanted to smack himself for asking. Of course he had to care about her! Why else go through all this trouble to find her? Why did he care so much about that anyway?
        “I do.” Grey Bolt said flatly. “She’s... She’s all I’ve got left...” 
Silence descended upon them once more. Bronze just couldn’t think of what to say to that. He didn’t know what it was like to have somepony like that. “Must be nice...” He said finally without thinking.
Grey’s attention was upon him instantly. “Hmm?” He inquired.
Bronze felt himself blush. “I mean, about having some pony to care about you like that. I’m... I’m kinda on my own you might say...”
        “No... No family?”
Bronze shook his head. “Lost to a quake. I know those bureau’s tend to paint Equestria as some sort of paradise on earth, but it really isn’t. We have our disasters and heartaches as well.”
        “I’m... I’m sorry...”
Bronze sighed, “No, I apologize. I didn’t mean to lay it on you like that. I’ve just heard more then one newfoal talk about how easy they’ll have it now that they’ve become a pony. Like this is going to be all lolipops and rainbows!”
Grey cringed, “I- I know it won’t. But I mean I’m sorry about your loss.”
        “Oh that. Don’t worry about it. Happened a long time ago.”
        “I see.... Mind if I ask another question?”
        “Shoot.”
        “I thought the weather and stuff was monitored by Pegasus ponies. Does that not apply to earthquakes?”
Bronze shook his head, “Weather is monitored and controlled, but our earthquakes are just and random and destructive as yours. Though admittedly probably no where NEAR as often.”
        “Ah...” Grey said before falling silent himself. They simply stood there for a few moments watching the stars begin to come out before Bronze decided to ask another question.
        “So how about you?”
        “Hmm?”
        “Parents?”
        “Oh, they’re alive... Though I fear I wouldn’t know the difference if they weren’t...”
        “What!?” Bronze felt himself nearly scream. It was true that the ‘human’ world was a lot different then what he knew of Equestria, but how could any creature say such a thing?
        “Oh don’t get me wrong. I like them just fine. It’s just... They don’t think that highly of me...”
        “Y-You’re... not serious...”
Grey Bolt sighed, “To be honest I wish I wasn’t. That’s... Well that’s one of the downsides of the human world I suppose. Disappointing your parents...”
        “I wonder...” Bronze replied softly, drawing a look from Grey. Seeing it, he continued. “Well it’s just that... I’m not sure if that’s just a human thing. I’m sure it’s happened to some ponies here in Equestria.  I wouldn’t be the most knowledgeable on the subject of course...”
Bronze paused to gaze upon the horizon. His keen sea eyes latching onto the billows of black storm clouds off in the distance. That was the sky caravan's work, the multi-day huge storm they'd left the island to avoid. They'd managed to pick up this new passenger barely a day out thanks to some debts that another skipper had called in, and had turned right around at the newfoal's request. Luckily for the newfoal, Sea Spray didn't really have a timetable and had more or less decided on a holiday. Still, they’d have to halt their progress to avoid it as it was directly in their path to land. It meant they couldn’t go ashore till afternoon the next day. That distraction aside, Bronze continued, “I don’t know... Maybe I’ve just always thought of having parents as a really good thing...”
Grey Bolt lowered his head. "I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I wish I knew what to say.”
        “No, don’t worry about it." Bronze replied, "Like I said, I made my peace with that loss a long time ago...”

        Silence once again. They simply stood there, watching the lightning from the storm clouds in the far off distance. The stars had already come out in full, they were visible in the clear sky which prevailed this far away from the roiling black thunderheads. It was always an amazing sight. Out here on the ocean, away from the lights of towns and civilization, there was nothing to obscure them, their many dots scattered upon the atmosphere in beautiful sparkling waves.
        “So...” Bronze finally said, breaking the silence. He almost didn’t want to ask what he was thinking, but the curiosity was gnawing at his mind.
        “Yeah?”
        “You said she’s all you have left... Is that really true?” He nearly regretted it the moment he asked. The look in Grey Bolt’s eyes just then... He had never seen somepony look so... Sad before.
        “Yeah... I think she’s about the only one who really cares about me anymore...”
Bronze wanted to say something to him. Comfort him in some way. He still didn’t understand why. No more then just wanting to help someone out who was hurt anyway. But just what was he suppose to say? What could he say? All that came to his mind was another question. “Why’d... Why’d she leave?”
        “She didn’t know... about me being a pony that is.” Bolt must have guessed Bronze’s thoughts, because he quickly continued. “I kept it a secret. I had to. If news of my ponification got out... well, there’s no way my letters would have been forwarded to her.” Grey Bolt’s eyes stared once more at the horizon. Distant and unfocused. Memories of a happier time obviously running through his head. “You know, on her sixteenth birthday, I was waiting outside the complex. I was so sure that she was going to run away, that I waited outside the entire day so I could be with her when she took off. I mean I knew her. There was no way she’d stick around that place.” The look of happiness remained upon his face for a few seconds more before draining away. “Course... she never did. Never even came outside. Instead she had a huge sweet sixteen party. A party I desperately wanted to attend. I was actually even invited. Never would have thought I’d see the day. She must have argued the decision long into the night... yet because of my new body I couldn’t go. I knew I couldn’t. If I thought I was on thin ice before, well let me tell you: showing up like this would have ended in some sort of violence. I just couldn’t do that to her.”
        He stopped there, his eyes wide as if he had just realized something. After a few seconds, he turned to Bronze with a sheepish expression. “Oops, guess I began to ramble a bit there huh? Sorry about that. You must be pretty bored with me rattling about my problems like this.”
Bronze was quick to shake his head. “Not at all! To be honest I’m really enjoying my time tonight. It’s... It’s not often that I get to talk to ponies...”
        “I find that hard to believe, what with you being a nurse and all.”
        “Heh, I mean talk in a general sense. Sure I speak to ponies all the time when I’m doing my check ups, but to talk just like this? Like normal ponies sharing a conversation? It’s surprising rare.”
        It was strange how true those words were. Why had he never talked to ponies before? Thinking of it now, when was the last time he had just chatted with any of his crewmates? He was always in his study. Was it really just his ‘thing’ to avoid others like he had thought to himself earlier? It seemed kinda silly really. Why hadn’t he ever tried to make friends?
        “It’s weird...” He found himself saying. “How much I’ve seemed to keep to myself. I’ve been sailing with this boat or that for years, but I don’t think I’ve spoken more then a handful of words to any of the crew at any given time.”
        “So, why’d you talk to me then?” Grey Bolt asked the obvious question.
Of course, Bronze didn’t have an answer. “I... I don’t know really. There was just something about tonight I guess. Maybe I got tired of being anti-social?”
Grey laughed. “Would you believe I’m sorta the same way?”
Bronze snorted.
        “No it’s true!” Grey added in response. “As a human I was always sort of a loner. Never really made many friends. In fact I hardly made ANY friends. Certainly none that I really kept in contact with. Debby was the only one I ever really had to talk with.”
        Bronze remained quiet. His heart was hammering. Everything about this night. About this moment only succeeded in confusing him more. He felt... saddened somehow by the information of this ‘Debby’. He felt longing when he heard that Grey didn’t have many friends either. Maybe... maybe that was it. Maybe that was why he had chosen to talk to his pony in the first place, because they were both in the same boat. Er, bad pun excluded.
        Bronze was a loner. So was Grey Bolt. Bronze didn’t have parents. Grey might as well be the same by the sounds of it. They were both so similar and yet so different. Perhaps it was these points that had caused them to be here as they were now. Sharing a night’s chat under the stars.
At any rate, there was one thing Bronze was certain of. “If you wouldn’t mind... Do you think... Would you like to be my friend?” The question was soft, but audible. Bronze looked straight into Grey Bolt’s eyes after speaking it. This one time, this one time he didn’t want to just walk away from forming a bond. This one time he decided he’d make the effort to gain a friend. Now he just had to wait for the reply.

        It took several seconds. Several seconds that seemed like and eternity to Bronze. Grey’s face was perfectly blank. Possibly too stunned by the sudden request to function properly. Then, slowly. His mouth curled into a smile.
        “I... I think I’d rather like that. I-I’d really like a friend.”
The feeling Bronze felt was near bliss. He had to mentally scold himself for getting so excited over a simple friendship. Just what had gotten into him tonight? So many years content with himself, and now he was going nuts over making just one friend?
        “Seems like we’ve stopped...” Grey remarked.
The statement disrupted Bronze’s thoughts. He had to gaze back out toward the storm clouds to remember what was going on. “Oh yeah. You see those storm clouds? We’ll have to wait for it to blow over before making port. No sea crew in their right mind would sail through those type of torrents if they didn’t have to.”
        “Makes sense. Guess that means we’ll be stuck here for a while.”
        “Indeed it does.” Bronze agreed. Suddenly a thought hit him, “Care to retire to my cabin for a cup of tea? We can talk a bit more during if you’d like.”
        “Sounds nice. Though can I suggest one slight alteration?”
        “What’s that?”
        “Can we make it cocoa? I’m not much of a tea drinker.”
Bronze laughed. “I don’t think that will be a problem..”
        

* * *


        “You’re not still sore about that are you?” Summer Glenn was saying as she trotted along with her life mate, Pointe Vertigo. They had decided to go grab some lunch now that the rain had finally stopped after two full nights of torrential downpouring. Of course, Pointe could have opened a hole in the clouds at any time, but both of them had decided it’d be for the best to let the Cloud Caravan's Weather Schedule run its course.
Summer adjusted the small pouch hanging from her neck, feeling the amount of bits inside jingle, along with one other thing. The bits were to pay for lunch. She was treating Vertigo in an attempt to cheer him up. The other thing was something she simply didn’t feel safe leaving unattended.
        “They nearly hit me with a lightning bolt...” Vertigo grumbled back.
        “They were just having a bit of fun. They’re kids Vertigo.” Summer said with a smile. In truth it had startled her as well, but she just couldn’t bring herself to mind. After all, she knew of a certain somepony who had done the same thing on a few occasions...
        “Not by pony standards. They’re adults and should know better then to randomly cause little thunder storms that scare the daylights out of a couple sharing a moment!” He shot back.
Summer had a feeling that was the real problem here. He was just upset that it had interrupted their ‘cuddling’ time. “If that’s the only problem we can make up for that later...” Summer replied, as alluringly as possible. For added effect, she gently rubbed her tail under his muzzle causing his wings to poof out. She giggled at his look of embarrassment as he quickly put his wings back down. It seemed he still hadn’t gotten his fill after the last couple of days. Then again, she didn’t feel like she had either, not even with recent events.
        “Have I ever told you I love you?” Vertigo asked.
Summer grinned.“You’d better given what I’m carrying inside me.” She shot back.
        “That just makes me love you all the more.” This time he replied with not just words, but a kiss to her forehead. She loved it when he kissed her there.
        “I still want to have a nice long chat with that Zephyr Twist, and Deborah though.” He said as the place they had agreed to eat at came into view. It had been suggested to them by their friend Cocoa Butter, who was currently helping Alice out with something. The poor girl had looked spooked when they saw here just a little bit ago, although she'd hidden it by going on the warpath about Deborah, Zephyr and the other two kids. Whatever was really bothering her though, she wasn’t talking about it just yet. She did say she’d tell them later when she was sure of a few things, but Summer was still worried.
        “Come on Vertigo, it was funny!” She teased.
Vertigo simply frowned, “It was not!”
        “Just like it wasn’t funny to scare a poor mare with a thunder clap at least twice?”
        “That’s uh... different...” he replied with a blush, clearly embarrassed at being caught red hoofed. Summer guessed that the real problem was that he was just sore that they had used his own trick against him.
        They continued making small talk as they entered the simple family restaurant. It was a rather interesting sight for Summer, a ‘seafood’ restaurant for ponies. By which it served all sorts of marine vegetation, whether by themselves or combined with some other food. The seaweed pasta was looking particularly appealing.

        “-Don’t fret it Grey, I know you’ll find her.”
Summer pricked her ears up as she heard a newcomer speaking outside. The restaurant didn't really have a door, or solid walls, but it did have a wind-chime which tinkled merrily as ponies walked through the leafy screen door that kept the worst of the flies out, letting everypony know somepony had entered. It was rather nice, to Summer, to see such an old fashioned way of letting one know somepony was visting. Though that wasn’t really what caught Summer’s ear. She wasn’t sure, but that voice seemed a tad familiar...
        “I know. I know. It’s silly to think that I’d find her just like that, but part of me was really hoping I’d hit gold rather quickly ya know?” Came another voice in reply. They were stallions by the deepness of their voices.
“Well we just got here a little while ago. Still plenty of ponies to ask.” The first pony remarked.
Summer was having a difficult time focusing on her menu. She swore she had heard that pony’s voice before. She kept wanting to steel a glance, but the two were nearly directly behind her. She was too afraid of them catching her in the act if she tried to turn around.
        “You’re right. I just need to relax.” The other pony replied. It was rather aggravating not knowing what either of these two looked like. “Besides, I’m kinda looking forward to having lunch with a friend...”
        “Y-yeah...” Summer heard the other reply.
She smiled at the slight stutter. The way these two were going on, it almost made them seem like an item! That thought made her pause. Who was to say they weren’t? After all, she had already met such a pair on the Sea Pony's Fancy. Too bad Sea Spray had taken the ship out for a run to Celestia-knew-where after dropping Alice and the girls off. She wondered when they were due back, or even if they'd be back. Wait... wasn’t that where she knew the voice from? The Sea Pony's Fancy? Deciding to deal with an awkward stare if caught, she turned around to catch a glimpse of the speakers. Her eyes widened the moment she did. That orange coat, the white wispy mane. No way she’d ever forget THAT pony.
        “PUMPKIN CREAM!” She exclaimed, causing both ponies and Vertigo to look at her oddly. She blushed at not only the sudden attention, but also at the slip up she had just made. She knew very well what his real name was, but had taken to calling him by the nickname Anchor Watch had told her about upon her second meeting with them. Truth be told she did feel a bit guilty that she was responsible for it, but she couldn’t help it. He really DID remind her of a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top!
        “S-Summer Glenn?” Bronze stammered completely stunned. Of all the ponies he had expected to meet today, this was NOT one of them.
        “Summer Glenn?” Grey Bolt whispered next to him. “That filly who ‘cursed’ you with that nickname?”
Bronze nodded, still too surprised by her sudden appearance to say anything. What an odd couple of days this was turning out to be... first he worked up the courage to speak to Grey Bolt, resulting in a friendship he hadn’t been expecting, and now here he was meeting perhaps the only other pony he could consider something of a friend.
        It had only been a couple of hours since both he and Grey Bolt had even arrived on this island. After chatting nearly the entire night away, Bronze had begun to think of Grey as not just a friend, but perhaps the best he ever had. His mind was still spinning with that realization. How could one feel so close to somepony they had just met? Regardless, it had happened. As it stood now, there wasn’t anything Bronze wouldn’t do for Grey, and that’s why he was here in the first place.
        From what they had talked about, Grey’s life hadn’t exactly been a pleasant one. His parents had wanted him to succeed them in their company, but instead Grey had wanted to go pony. Unfortunately, not only would his parents not have approved, as Grey said, they were supporters of the HLF. They didn’t support violence against the ponies thankfully, but they still believed in a world run by humans, without ponykind ‘muddling things up’ as Grey had put it.
        In the end, he had simply told them that he wanted to pursue his own path, and left. His parents had been furious to say the least, but let him go. It had been hard on Grey from that day forth, seeing that he could never see his parents ever again. If they ever found out what he had done... this ‘Deborah’ girl was the only one who’d still talk to him apparently. Whenever Grey would talk about her, he became rather sad and distant. No doubt pained by having to leave her as well. Because of this, Bronze had decided not to ask about her. It wasn’t just that though, for some reason he really found this girl distasteful. He didn’t know why, he knew there was no reason he should, but for whatever reason the thought of how close her and Grey must be just... IRKED him. It was almost like he was... jealous...
        Still, to Grey Bolt, she had to be a very important person for him to be searching for her like this, and so here Bronze was. Helping him search for her on these islands on the off chance there might be some information about her here. Whilst trying desperately to silence that little voice in the back of his mind that hoped they'd never find her, so he’d have more time with Grey to himself. He also couldn’t help but feel he was forgetting something. Something about the fact that Grey Bolt said she was with two ponies her own age. Possibly with one older mare. Just why did that sound so familiar to him?
        “Fancy running into you!” Summer was saying as she trotted up to him. “How have you been Mr. Bronze?”
        “Just Bronze will be fine.” He replied, then glaring at Vertigo, “And don’t pull that ‘just’ joke again. I remember it from last time, and it wasn’t funny then!”
The sheepish grin Vertigo wore told Bronze that he had been about to say just that.
        “Anyway, I’ve been good.” Bronze said in reply to Summer's question. It was weird for him to be in such a situation. He didn’t normally run into ponies he knew. It was even weirder since he was here with another friend. Bronze’s eyes widened as he thought of Grey Bolt. He hadn’t even introduced him yet!
        “Summer Glenn, Pointe Vertigo,” he said slowly, surprising himself that he remembered the Pegasus's name, “this is my good friend Grey Bolt. Grey Bolt, this is Summer Glenn. That mare I told you about. This gentlecolt-” and I use that term loosely, he thought to himself before continuing, “is Ms Summer’s Lifemate.”
Both Summer and Vertigo blushed a bit as Grey gave his greetings. Neither had actually said they had that kind of relationship to Bronze during their short visit when Summer had gone to visit him. Vertigo of course, reluctant to leave her side. They supposed they might have been a bit obvious about it though.
        “So uh, what’s new with you?” Bronze asked after everypony had finished greeting each other.
This caused Summer to blush a bit more. “I’m uh, expecting.” She replied. She didn’t know why she kept telling everyone the news. She still wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the entire ordeal herself even, but for some reasonshe felt that her friends deserved to know. Was that how women or mares usually acted? Oh, why couldn’t being female come with some sort of manual? Besides, Bronze was a Nurse. Maybe he’d have some good advice for her.
        “Oh!” Bronze replied, eyes wide. “Congratulations Ms Summer.”
        “Thank you...” she replied quietly.
Grey Bolt on the other hand was feeling rather awkward. Should he congratulate her as well? He had only just met her. Thankfully Bronze began to say more, saving him from having to speak.
        “Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have on the subject. I’m sure a young mare in your situation might have one or two.” he said as professionally as he could. Oh yeah, he was certain she had a few questions.
“I may have a few things to inquire about later.” Summer admitted, feeling rather put on the spot. She was just glad the ponies running the place didn’t seem to be taking any notice of their conversation. At least if they were, they certainly weren’t showing it.
Meanwhile, Bronze was nodding. “I’ll be in my cabin later tonight if you wish to stop by. I wouldn’t worry though, Ms Summer, I can assure you that you’ll have no problems during your term.” Without even realizing it, he had gone full nurse mode. As a nurse pony, one wouldn’t think he’d know anything about foaling, but he had actually studied up on the subject just in case a passenger on the ship ever went into labor. Thankfully so far he hadn’t had to deliver any foals. But in case it did happen, he'd wanted to have some sort of preparation.
        “T-Thanks...” Summer replied rather nervously. Oh why couldn’t she have just kept her mouth shut? This was the last place she wanted to have this conversation!
        “Oh, one other thing Ms Summer...” Bronze added as a thought occurred to him. He had debated with himself whether he should bring this up or not. It was unlikely she’d do something so careless during her term, but then again, very little was known about that substance. He’d hate it if he was wrong and it could be used on a pony with foal.
        “Yes?” came her reply.
Taking a deep breath, Bronze decided to breach the issue, “Please forgive me for being blunt, but you told me about how you went from a stallion to a mare...” he ignored the startled look Grey Bolt gave him at that. He had told him a little about Summer of course during their idle chatter the previous night, but he hadn’t seen any reason to bring up that particular fact about her. It wasn’t his place. Still, this had to be asked here and now.
        “I believe you told me it was a specific type of ponification serum that caused the transformation? And something another unicorn created that had reversed the change? I must inquire to the possibility that you possess any more of it?”
While Summer had been taken a bit a back by the sudden interrogation, she dimly nodded her head. She may not know Bronze very well, but knew enough that he wasn’t a bad pony. If he was asking about this, it was probably important.
        “I... I do actually. I don't have any of the ponification potion, that's bureau-only stuff, but I had three vials of the, er, antidote.” she added the last part after seeing Vertigo’s look. “One I used in Ponyville, before I left. One I used to change back, and one final vial I had just in case one of the other I took with me were lost or broken.”
        “I’ll admit I’m not familiar with that particular potion,” Bronze said sternly, “but as you are with foal, I can not express heavily enough the risk that taking such a thing might be. As much as I’d like to say that it wouldn’t affect you or your foal, I think it’d be best if you got rid of that vial as soon as possible.”
        The warning made sense. There was no telling what would happen if a pregnant pony took such a thing. Summer also agreed that she didn’t want to find out. Removing the final vial from her pouch, it being the one thing she had refused to leave ‘unattended’, she looked over at Bronze. Catching the hint, he used his magic to levitate it into the air.
        “Would you like me to dispose of this?” he asked.
Summer nodded, “I won’t be needing it anyhow.” she said, leaning against her stallion. The smile upon Vertigo’s face was priceless.
        “Okay, as confused as I am to everything going on right now-” Grey Bolt spoke up from where he had been standing off to the side. “Why not just pour it down the drain or something?”
        “Not a good idea,” Bronze said shaking his head. “Not with the amount of concentrated magic that must be in this thing. No, I simply don’t trust it being disposed of in such a manner. I’ll most likely have to attempt some sort of neutralizing magic upon it before I can even begin to dispose of it safely, if I even can. It’ll have to stay in my own money pouch til then.”
        Grey Bolt simply shrugged in agreement. All this talk of a stallion becoming a mare and all that sounded mighty strange to him, but then again, so had talking ponies at one point. Now he WAS one. Whatever was going on, it sounded like Bronze had it all under control anyway. He himself was far to focused on finding Debby.
        Of course, right now what he really wanted was some lunch.

        “Anyway, since you seem to know Bronze, Ms Summer, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to sit with us during lunch? It’d be nice to meet a few more ponies.” Grey Bolt suggested, giving his best smile. In truth the prospect of chatting with these two filled him with fear. He had never been good at meeting new ponies. The thought only made him feel his meeting with Bronze had been some sort of gift. Not only had he managed just fine to strike up a conversation with him, but hadn’t felt that normal nervousness he did with other ponies. Whatever it was that allowed him to do this, he wished he could replicate it. Maybe in the end, it was just fate. Some good Karma after all the crap he had gone through?
        “That sounds nice to me, any objections?” Summer asked, turning her gaze toward Vertigo who shook his head.
        “Course not, the more the merrier!”

Soon all four of them were smiling and grabbing menus as they attempted to decide at which table they would sit. The entire thing felt like a dream to Grey Bolt. These sort of events... this is what he had been seeking for a long time. The simple joy of being with friends. Hanging out in some restaurant while enjoying a meal. Back at home, he’d have never gotten this. With his parents it had always been work. Long hours of preparing him for the company. A company they were too stubborn to see wouldn’t be needed soon.
        Not with the ponies having come. Not with the possibility of the shield extending, or any of the other new developments that had come along with their arrival. But that’s not what he wanted to think about right now. All he cared about now was enjoying some time with a friend, along with possibly making two more in the process. The only thing that would have made it better was if Debby was here.

The windchime interrupted his thoughts.

Have you ever wondered if the universe has a mind of it’s own? Some weird sense of humor? Ask anyone who’s been caught in a downpour, only for it to become sunny the second they get inside, and they’ll tell you it does. Grey had never been so sure. At least until that very moment...

        “See?” A peach colored Pegasus mare with a light green mane and tail was saying to her companion as they entered the restaurant. Her companion, a silver Pegasus stallion with a metallic blue mane and tail, indicated he had heard. Though given his look it appeared he would have liked to be any place than where he was at that moment.
        “There they are. Now come on, let’s just apologize already.” The peach Pegasus continued.
Her companion took one look at Vertigo and flinched at the look he received. “Can’t we wait till later Debs? He still looks upset...”
        “I know Zephyr, I know...” She whispered back, though not as quietly as she probably thought, being Grey could hear her rather fine, and had a feeling everypony else could as well. 
“But you saw Alice. Even with everything on her mind she still managed to lecture us on causing a ruckus so early in the morning. Besides, if we apologize she might finally lay off me about you.” At the mention of that last bit a small blush crept upon her cheeks.
        “I... I’d really like it if we could be together without her saying anything...” Zephyr Twist looked as he wanted to resist more, but the look in her eyes completely defeated him. With a smile and soft nuzzle against her, he turned to trot toward Vertigo. “Look uh... Pointe Vertigo... I’m er... Sorry for my actions this morning...” He said rather slowly, seemingly forcing the words to come out.
Vertigo was enjoying the young colt’s uneasiness immensely, but refused to show it. “You should be! Youngsters such as yourselves should be more considerate to your elders!” he huffed. Only to have Summer follow him up.
        “Oh don’t listen to him. It’s fine. He’s just upset that you managed to use his own trick against him.”
Vertigo coughed. “Summer! Don’t tell him that!” He hissed, causing Deborah and Bronze to laugh, Summer and Zephyr joining in shortly afterward. Even a few of the nearby staff had to suppress a few giggles. In fact the only pony who wasn’t laughing was Grey Bolt. Instead, he was staring at Deborah like he had seen a ghost.
        There was just no way, no way this was real. But her laugh, her eyes, the very way she spoke. There could be no mistaking it. He hadn’t seen her up close in person for months now, but he’d know her from anywhere. Even the fact they were both ponies now wasn’t enough for him to not recognize her.
        “D-Debby?” He nearly squeaked, his voice betraying him. It had been loud enough though. She had heard what he said. She Froze in place the moment that one simple name reached her ears. Eyes wide, and body shaking she slowly turned all her attention toward him, and him alone.
        “D-Do I know you?” she asked quietly. Looking at him now, she could tell instantly that there was something very familiar about this stallion. But it was his voice and the name he spoke that had really set her off. The way he had said it. It was just like... just like...
        “Deborah... Parkingson?” Grey asked hopefully. The entire scene seemed like a dream. He kept thinking he’d either wake up, or the mare before him would simply vanish into nothingness. Instead, she looked him straight in the eyes and nodded. Swallowing a lump that had apparently formed in her throat.
        “H-how do you know my name?” She squeaked. Her voice mimicking what his had done at the start of the conversation. Meanwhile every pony who wasn’t either of them had very confused faces on.
Well, all except Bronze that was. It hadn’t taken him long to connect the dots. In truth he could scarcely believe what was transpiring himself. When he had agreed to help Grey find his mystery mare. He had pictured weeks, possibly months going by with little luck. So little did they have to go on. He never would have imagined that instead of them finding her, she’d find them.
        “I know your name because I share part of it.” Grey said calmly. He could feel the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. She had left him with nothing more then a simple letter. A letter he was certain she had waited till running away to mail. He’d have to ask how she managed it all someday. How she had managed to get away after the stunt he had pulled? But none of that mattered now. Against all odds, she was here. She was right here in front of him. He hadn’t had to spend long months worrying about ever seeing her again. Whether by fate, or pure dumb luck. They had been reunited.
        “T-Tommy?” Deborah spoke. Her voice almost inaudible. The moment she saw the purple stallion nod, she rushed to him. Rushed to him and pressed her head against his neck. It had hurt to leave without saying goodbye to him in person. She had kept it inside as to not worry her friends Liz and Trish. She had simply remained quiet and dealt with the terrible thoughts she had been having of never seeing the very person who now stood before her as a pony.
        The letter had been the only thing she'd had time to send before they had run for the Conversion Bureau. A letter warning him of her plan, along with warning him about how Mom and Dad would most likely look to him for the blame of it all. In that letter she had said she was sorry. Sorry for not going to visit him before going to the bureau, but he had never told her where he had moved to, and she'd had no time to seek him out. No time to set up some sort of meeting before hand. If she'd been caught, then she’d never have made it.
        When she ran, she knew she’d only have one chance at it. One chance she simply could not mess up. She hadn't wanted to think about the precautions that would have been taken to insure she would never have had a chance to run again. Let alone what might have happened to her friends. To think that Liz and Trish still didn’t know the danger they had faced on that day...

        “I... I can’t believe it’s really you!” she exclaimed, her own tears flowing freely.
        “I could say the same. When I got your letter I was afraid I’d never see you again. I lost many a night’s sleep because of you, I hope you realize that!” he teased, ruffling her mane with his hoof.
With a sniff, she waved his hoof away in mock annoyance. “I- I wanted to tell you. To see you so badly! But you never told me where you had gone! What you were doing! I know it was so Mom and Dad wouldn’t find out and come after you, but still... I wanted... I wanted so bad-”
        “Shh! Shh! It’s okay!” Grey said hugging her close to him. “I know, and I’m sorry. It was because of them that I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t. You know how they are...”
        “Y-Yeah...” she sniffed. “Why are you a pony anyway? It’s... It’s not because I-” 
        “No no,” he said with a sad smile, “I’ve been a pony for a while now. Why else do you think I wouldn’t tell you what I was doing, or where I was? Mom and Dad would have NEVER let me talk to you again. Let alone let you have any freedom. No way was I having a hand in my sister becoming a prisoner!”
        “SISTER!?” cried two voices at once.
Startled, the two siblings remembered their surroundings rather suddenly. If they hadn’t been so happy to see each other, they might have felt embarrassed. As for the two who had cried out, they were easily able to identify them as Bronze and Summer. The only two ponies who looked shocked. Vertigo, feeling whatever was going on between the two was none of his business, was only mildly surprised, while Zephyr Twist seemed to react in the exact opposite way. In fact, it was he who next spoke.
        “Oh so THIS is the brother you told me about!” he said, trotting over. “I told you love! I told you you’d see him again!”
        “You were right... I never thought it’d be this soon though!” she replied, her face all smiles.
        “You never told me she was your sister!” Bronze exclaimed from his spot.
Summer nodded, “and you never told ME you had a brother!”
        “Really? I didn’t?” Grey Bolt replied rubbing the back of his head awkwardly with a hoof. “Huh, I suppose I didn’t. Odd. Yeah, Debby here is my sister. She’s likely the only family I have left.”
Deborah spoke next, “I-I’m sorry Summer. I didn’t really want to talk about it during the Conversion process. It... It still kinda hurt back then. I was afraid I was losing my only family as well...”
Both Summer and Bronze couldn’t find anything to say to that. Summer on one hoof had a feeling she sort of understood how Deborah felt. When she had run away from Vertigo, well, it had stung. Deeply. If only she had realized then what she knew now.
        Regardless, they were together now. He was her life mate, and she his. There was even a foal in their future. They joy of being back with somepony you love... she could wait to talk to Debs about all this later. Debs had just been reunited with her brother. Better for them to just enjoy the moment.
        Bronze on the other hoof... he didn’t really know what it was he was feeling at this moment. When he had heard that this mare was Grey’s sister. He had felt... relieved. Happy in fact, but not because Grey had completed his quest far earlier then he had anticipated. Not even because Grey was so happy to be in the presence of his sister again. No, these feelings, they were something else. He was relieved that she was his sister. Not a lover. He was happy that Grey was single. He was.. he closed his eyes, hoping nopony saw him do so. It couldn’t be could it? Ever since meeting this stallion last night, he had been feeling all sorts of strange emotions. But it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be because...
        “So why do you know of him Zephyr?” Pointe Vertigo asked just then, breaking him from his thoughts.
        “Well... he’s my boyfriend. Of course I’d tell him.” Debs replied softly. The blush that crept up upon both her and Zephyr’s faces confirmed that they definitely saw each other as an item.
Summer thought it was rather sweet. Grey Bolt on the other hand...
        “So...” He said slowly, giving Zephyr a stern gaze. “You’re her boyfriend?”
        “Y-Yes sir...” Zephyr said rather meekly. He felt the same way he did back when Alice had been threatening to geld him.
        “You’re treating her right I assume.” Grey said slowly. It was taking a bit of effort to remain civil. After all, he knew his sister would meet some guy, or well, some stallion someday. He just hadn’t been prepared to find out it had happened already.
        “YES SIR!” Zephyr said a bit too forcibly. The poor guy's eyes were nearly the size of saucers with the fear he felt. Alice had been bad enough, but this guy was an earth pony. He knew very well how strong earth ponies tended to be. Even a newfoal like this one.
        “Oh yes, he’s been treating her very well!” Vertigo said suddenly. The very edges of his mouth nearly curling into a grin. He’d show this little punk not to use his own trick against him! “Why not too long ago I believe they were having a nice time... Canoodling on a cloud, I believe is how the young un’s say it?”
Summer gave Vertigo a disapproving look, while Debs nearly went from peach to red. As for Zephyr. The poor guy’s color seemed to drain.
“Y-You were doing WHAT with my sister?” Grey growled stepping closer to the silver Pegasus.
Zephyr found himself edging toward the door rather frantically while attempting to come up with a good reply. “It’s nothing! We were just cuddling that’s all! Intimate cuddling!”

That wasn’t a good reply. Much to his horror his brain processed what he had just said. He had meant to say ‘innocent’ cuddling. Even if it had felt rather intimate.
        “H-How long have you know each other?” came Grey’s response. His words sounded clam. Collected, and very VERY dangerous.
        “Um... A few days?” Zephyr replied. Later he’d curse himself for not simply remaining quiet.
        “I’LL KILL YOU!” Grey Bolt roared suddenly charging the colt.
        “RUN ZEPHYR!” Debs screamed. The silver Pegasus didn’t need any further warnings. In a flash of metallic blue, he was out the door and down the path, only remembering several seconds later that he could fly. A large angry Purple stallion rampaged behind him.
        Summer was still scolding Pointe Vertigo when Debs went racing after her enraged brother screaming for him not to kill her boyfriend. With a sigh, Bronze began to head toward the door himself. Chances were, he was going to have to keep his new best friend from committing murder.


* * *




        “So... some day today, huh?” Bronze remarked as he sat upon a pier watching the sun set. The large purple stallion next to him nodded.
        “Some day alright. I still can’t believe I went off the handle like that.” Grey replied with a sigh.
        “Hey don’t worry 'bout it. Any brother would act the same way I bet.”
        “I suppose so. I still feel rather bad for Zephyr. He seems like a really nice guy. I’m glad it’s him who my sister found.”
Bronze nodded but said nothing more, letting the soundtrack of the scene before them be the only thing that played for a while. It was a several hours later since the scene at lunch. None of their group had managed to grab a bite to eat thanks to that. Instead, they'd decided to grab a big dinner. Not at the same place though. Summer had figured they’d caused enough trouble there for one day, and the rest had agreed.
        Other then that, the rest of the day had been rather pleasant. Grey Bolt had been introduced to Alice, who had been so busy with some issue of her own, that she had barely had enough time to give a rushed greeting. Both Liz and Trish of course had met Grey once or twice while they had been human, so were rather glad to see him again. It had been the first time Bronze himself had met them.
        It was rather ironic actually. All four of them, the three young mares along with Alice, had all been on the Sea Pony's Fancy at least twice now in the past. They had in fact been the friends of Summer’s they had carted to the island in the first place! It was just that Bronze had never left his cabin to see them. How funny that this could have all been over even quicker than it had been, if only he’d have been just a little more sociable.
        Well, it was no use in worrying about what ‘could’ have been. What was important was what was happening right now. The fact that he was sharing another sun set with Grey Bolt. The situation warmed him, and he knew it wasn’t because of the setting sun.
        The thoughts he had earlier wouldn’t leave his mind. They kept crawling up from some abyss to demand that he acknowledge them. But he didn’t want to acknowledge them, he didn’t want to even consider what they could possibly mean. He knew he hadn’t exactly been into relationships in his life, but it wasn’t like he had found what Anchor Watch or Sea Spray did in private fascinating or something. Until a few hours ago, he had figured he was just shy or unlucky. He certainly hadn’t guessed that he... he was a...
        There was nothing WRONG with that fact of course. If there had been, he’d never have put up with the Sea Pony's Fancy for so long. Anchor Watch and Sea Spray were probably the closest thing he'd had to any sort of family. It was just... he'd always figured he was into, well, mares, not colts. Certainly not THIS colt beside him. They had only known each other for a day if that after all! Yet... and yet...
        “Hey... Grey?” he asked before being able to stop himself. His heart began to pound ever so slightly faster. His throat becoming dry. He wasn’t seriously... could he really bring this up today? Now?
        “What’s up Bronze?” Grey Bolt asked, turning his head toward him.
Bronze froze at the image. The way the wind was playing with his mane. The way his eyes sparkled in the dusk light. The very shape of his neck... no matter how well educated a nurse Bronze was, there was one thing he knew he’d never be able to fully understand. He had been there when Anchor Watch had become the Captain’s ‘mate’ in more ways then one. Heard later on how Anchor hadn’t even realized he was into colts. It was an even stranger story with Summer.  The very mechanics of how two ponies could feel attracted to each other or even fall in love would forever remain a mystery to those who hadn’t experienced it for themselves.
        “I... I...” he said, unaware of what he was even saying anymore. His heart had begun to pound louder and louder. He was afraid it’d burst through his rib cage at any second. This couldn't be happening. It would be the perfect end to the day... but it was much too fast. Much too soon for him to know. For him to make a move. For Celestia’s sake he had barely learned of his feelings today!
        Grey continued to watch his friend with a very confused expression on his face as Bronze’s body seemed to switch to auto-pilot. Before he realized what he was doing, he found his lips pressed firmly against Grey’s own. Experiencing the very first kiss of his life time. It was both blissful, and amazing. At least until Grey jerked his head away about a second later.
        “W-what?” Grey rattled off stunned. His face was flushed, his expression all over the place. He had absolutely no idea what had just happened. His new best friend, who he had been enjoying a peaceful moment with had suddenly kissed him! That wasn’t something he had been prepared for!
        “I’m sorry!” Bronze cried suddenly, turning away.
The brief look Grey got of his face made him feel terrible. He hadn’t realized Bronze felt that way about him. It had probably took the guy all his courage to do that, and here he went and reacted in such way. He felt bad, horrible, but the problem was... the problem was that he truly hadn’t enjoyed it.
        “No! No I’m sorry... I just... wasn’t expecting that.” he said quietly, trying to gather his thoughts. Bronze was the first real friend he had made in a very long time. If they were to remain friends, he knew he was going to have to be honest with him, but being honest was the one thing he knew Bronze wouldn’t be able to handle right now.
        “I know, I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry. I’ll try to-” Bronze was rambling but Grey held up his hoof to stop him. He had to do it. Had to tell him. He sighed as he turned to look his friend in the eyes.
        The day had been going so well too...
        “It’s okay. I’m not mad or anything, I want you to know that you are STILL my friend. The best one I’ve ever had.” The look in Bronze’s eyes confirmed his worst fears. This wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
        “But Bronze... please, please don’t hate me, but I’m just... I’m not...”
        “You’re... Not into colts are you?”
        Sadly, and slowly Grey shook his head. “I love mares... I’m... I’m sorry...”

        There was silence between them for a brief moment before Bronze’s horn flashed white. When Grey was able to see again, he found that his friend had vanished. Most likely that flash of magic had been a teleportation spell. With a great heavy sigh, Grey gazed into the nearly set sun. “Dear Princess Celestia, and dear Princess Luna,” he said as a tear ran down his cheek. How ironic that he felt so sad after being so happy, “please don’t let me loose my best friend after just meeting him...”
        

* * *


        It was a little know fact among the humans that Equestria actually DID have it’s own versions of alcoholic beverages. It was one such beverage that Bronze found himself drinking even now. Being the nurse on a sea vessel, he had learned a great deal about which drinks had the most kick, and which ones would make you feel ‘good’. Thus he had found a pretty good way to get over his ‘earlier disappointment.’
        “Stupid, Stupid, STUPID.” he yelled at himself. Not caring if anypony heard him anymore. It hadn’t been that long since night had fallen. An hour or two if that. Then again, he was too far lost in his conflicting emotions to really tell. It could be near dawn for all he knew.
        It was his fault really. Everything had been going too well for it to last. He should have been able to tell that Grey wasn’t into colts. He had spent enough time around a couple of colt cuddlers that he should have been able to tell. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
“There you are!” came a voice from above him.
For a split, agonizing second, Bronze had thought that Grey Bolt had found him. Had come to scream at him for everything. But then he saw the flash of green feathers. It was only Summer’s mate. Pointe Vertigo.
“You have any idea how long we’ve been searching for you? Grey came running to us soon after you had your argument or whatever. Said he was worried sick about you!” Vertigo said as sternly as he dared. As disappointed he was to see this young buck had gone and gotten himself drunk, he was pretty worried himself. The look Grey had given them when he told them of their ‘argument’ was very similar to how Vertigo himself had felt when Summer had run away.
“You lie!” Bronze cried, releasing his magic, and thus dropping his bottle. “He wouldn’t worry 'bout me! Lies...”
“Oh come now, you know I’m not lying. Now come on. Let’s get you back.You can settle this with him directly-” Vertigo began, but Bronze merely staggered away from him.
“No! Don’t want to go... Don' wanna...” he sniffed, trying to curl himself into an invisible ball. Of course, even if he had been sober enough to use his magic, he didn’t have a spell that could do that. Pointe Vertigo, meanwhile, was trying his best to remedy the whole situation.
“Come on mate. It’ll be okay. We don’t have to go see him if you don’t want, but let’s at least get you to a proper bed or something-”
“REJECTED!” Bronze yelled suddenly, causing Vertigo to suspend himself a few feet into the air.
“He rejected me! S-said he wasn’t into colts! How was I supposed ta know I liked colts? Huh? Why couldn’t he be into colts too?” Bronze wailed to the sky.
Vertigo was shocked. Almost to the point that he nearly forgot to flap his wings to stay afloat. So that was what had truly happened. Poor guy. Though to be honest, he was really surprised this had affected him so much. From what he understood from their idle chatter over dinner, these two had met only about a day ago. He had no idea Bronze’s feelings had apparently developed so deeply. Then again, his feelings for Summer Glenn had progressed rather quickly, and look at them now.
“I... I’m sorry man.” Vertigo said finally. Just what was he suppose to say to a colt who had been rejected by another colt? Especially when they seemed this broken up about it. Somehow, he doubted the ‘plenty of sea ponies in the sea’ line would be appropriate right now. He also couldn’t tell him to buck up and keep trying either. He was pretty sure the reason Bronze got rejected was because Grey Bolt wasn’t about to develop a taste in colts.
“Why... Why don’t we tackle all this after a good nights sleep eh?” He said, hoping it’d get the unicorn to follow him to a hut. He knew enough about drunk ponies to know that if he managed to get the stallion to a bed, he’d likely pass out for the night.
“Y-You think that’ll help?” Bronze asked eyes red. Vertigo did his best to sound positive.
“Oh sure! A good night’s sleep? Why that helps anypony out. Why I remember this one time Summer had a stomach ache-”
“Summer?” Bronze repeated as he began to shuffle his way toward Vertigo.
“Yeah Summer. She’s out looking for you as well you know. Why don’t we go show her you’re okay?”
“Y-yeah...” Bronze replied falling into step behind Vertigo. What a weird way to end the day. As long as he could keep the unicorn from feeling sorry for himself, it should all end fine.
“Summer was a colt once...” Bronze said suddenly.
Vertigo was cautious, but nodded, “Y-Yeah. She was. Funny that right?” Just keep walking there Bronze. Just keep walking...
“Did she... did she do it for you?”
Vertigo shook his head, “No, she did it for herself. I’d never have made her do it for me.”
“You love Summer as a mare right?”
Vertigo didn’t like where this conversation was going. For one, he could tell it was dangerous territory. For two, Bronze wasn’t slurring his speech anymore. Indicating that he was putting some serious thought into whatever was running through his head.
“I love Summer, period. Regardless of what she is.” Vertigo replied matter of factly, "I mean... I was prepared to..."
“I bet... I bet Grey would like me if I was a mare...” 
“Who knows pal. Not like you can find out. What happened with Summer was kind of a complicated matter. You’d have to ha-” Vertigo had been saying, before the world seemed to stop around him. His eyes widened with dread as a certain event leaped to the forefront of his mind. A certain little vial Bronze had taken from Summer...

Vertigo had never spun around so fast in his life. Even then it was too late. He was just in time to see the last bit of green liquid disappear down the unicorn’s throat. As Vertigo continued the watch, he saw the bulky male frame of the unicorn seemingly melt away into a sleek, curvy feminine one. Within seconds, the rather lean, stocky and completely drunk stallion was replaced with a very cute, delicate and equally drunk mare.
The new filly looked around in bewilderment, apparently confused as to what she had just done, before passing out completely upon the sand.
“...Horseapples.” Pointe Vertigo cursed as he stared down at the now-female pony. It was NOT going to be a fun time explaining this. It would almost certainly be blamed on him. “Why do these things always have to happen to the ponies I know?”

> The Big Blowout
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Twist in the Tail
Part 10


The Big Blowout


An MLP:FiM fanfiction by Midnight Shadow, set in the Conversion Bureau Alternate Universe, originally by Blaze

Note: This happens more or less concurrently with "Mixed Signals".





        The second day of the tropical storm was building to a crescendo, driving more cooling rains to wash the small island. Out to sea, thunder rolled and lightning flashed in a pyrotechnic display to rival anything produced Earthside. Pegasi, out of reach of the weather itself, flitted about to direct the show. This was a storm, but this was also one of the biggest events of the year, better than a movie, more powerful than a play, this was the raw energies of nature harnessed and then set loose. It was, as they say, a dark and stormy night.
        Summer cuddled up closer with Vertigo. They’d chosen to watch the display from out on the beach, near a roaring fire. The rain was warm, the fire warmer. They were both soaking wet and would probably have the sniffles the next day, but it was worth it for some more time alone. Besides, thought Summer, I’m still feeling frisky. She turned, and nipped her stallion on the cheek. He whickered, folding his ears back and mock-snarling. They fought like that for a moment, until getting decidedly more physical. The nipping turned to snorting and whinnying and finally to rolling around and biting. After a few more minutes of that, Vertigo somehow ended up on top. Right where she’d wanted him all along. The lime green stallion claimed his prize, moving closer still, their motion rivalling the waves for ferocity and urgency until it peaked and, as all storms do, broke.

They rested in the afterglow, their features lit alternately by the flashing of lightning and the wavering flames of the beach-fire. Summer looked at her stallion tenderly, drinking in his form. “We should get married, you know.” Summer said, yawning.
        “We are married, love.”
        “No, I mean... well, you know, a proper ceremony.”
        “Newfoals put a lot of stock in this marriage thing, don’t they?” Vertigo put his wing over his mare's back, drawing her closer and keeping her warm.
        “Some do. I... never really cared, before. Maybe becoming a mare has changed me in more ways than just the one.”
        Vertigo looked up at the sky, thoughtfully. His mate was strange, even for a newfoal, but he loved her so. “What is this ceremony about? What makes it such a big deal?”
        “It's for the families, really. We exchange vows and make promises and... well, some feel a blessing from a priest is necessary. You don’t seem to have those here.”
        Vertigo shook his head, “I read about them though. Humans have these... princes and princesses that made everything, like some say Celestia and Luna did, only nopony can agree which one it really was. And they don’t know where they live and they can’t go and talk to them. They don’t seem to do very much, but still there are a lot of humans who seem to do a lot of talking for them and to them. I don’t really understand it.”
        “To tell you the truth, neither do I, love.”
        “Do... do you want one of those?”
        Summer looked down at her hooves, thoughtfully, “No, things like that are best left to humans. It would feel wrong, here. You know who made Equestria, and she doesn’t have any priests. I don’t think she likes them very much.”
        Vertigo laughed, “Celestia and Luna didn’t create Equestria. We have our own legends about that, but no, there are no priests - only those who take her words on Friendship to heart and seek to spread that magic as far and wide as they can.”
        “Oh?”
        “You, dearest, and me.”
        “Then, can we marry?”
        “I thought I told you we already were!”
        Summer laughed and head-butted her lover, “I mean even by old Earth standards, we’re all kind of... priests. Ugh, I don’t think I like that idea, but what I mean is...”
        “We take marriage more personally here in Equestria, love, but I think a gathering would be just perfect. Besides, it means more presents.”
        “Oh you beast!”
        “Rar!”
        Summer rolled away, hopped up nimbly onto her legs and wriggled her behind, flicking her tail. She looked back over her shoulder at Vertigo and grinned. He, for his part, got up and gave her a few choice nips on her haunches. It would be a long night.

***

        Alice woke up. Her head was spinning, like she was at sea in a storm. She wondered, briefly, if that’s where she was. As her vision cleared somewhat and her memory sheepishly returned, it appeared that she wasn’t at sea, and was instead in a low-slung bed. A bed with at least one other occupant, a pony who was nuzzling the back of her neck and chewing softly, in just the right way to cause a delicious tingle to run all the way down her back to the base of her tail.
        “What the hell, Alice?” she mumbled to herself, “Since when do you just jump in the sack with the first pony to cross your path?” She closed her eyes again and groaned. Tidbits of information came flooding back, something about sunlight and an estrus cycle... “Oh fuck. Is this going to happen every time I go sunbathing?”
        “Mmm, Princess, last night was wonderful. I would that every night could be like that.”
        Alice groaned. It figured he’d be the one without a hangover.

        It had started innocently enough, but then these things usually did. The rains had come, the much needed and pre-ordered rainfall brought by the sky caravan, with a storm for good measure and as added entertainment. The sky caravan traded weather for food, carrying it to those distant parts of Equestria without its own weather service. The islanders lived a simple life, even for Equestrians - they farmed, they schooled their young, but they cared little for the trappings of civilisation. They were, for wont of a better word, in the tropics and didn’t have winter very often, only when desired. Their huts were sturdy and well-constructed, but wouldn’t be very comfortable in sub-zero temperatures. It was a good thing, then, that snow was very rare, and only delivered to order on special occasions.
        Cocoa Butter had explained this as the rain had come lashing down. They didn’t even sleep inside when the weather was nice, which was most of the time. Life was one big party, and didn’t show many signs of changing. She’d asked how come a handsome stallion like him had what amounted to a batchelor’s pad, didn’t he have a girlfriend?
Cocoa Butter had grinned in that cheeky way of his that the status of stallion or marefriends were between two or more ponies that really loved each other, that night. They didn’t marry much in his village, they dallied. Love and loving was a village affair, with the whole village taking a part in the raising of whatever foals were generated by whatever unions. Cocoa Butter said he thought he had a few foals, two or three, each by a different mother. He wasn’t really sure, he didn’t mind. They sometimes had parties, he explained, on the beach in midsummer. When several stallions or mares felt especially frisky, they’d take their drums to the sands and start playing. Sometimes it would be small, but sometimes the drums would sound for miles around, and the ponies would come, be they earth or unicorn or pegasi, and unions would be had and dissolved that night as each saw fit. The drums brought new blood in, and some also left the following morning, never to return. Such was the way of things. One day, he felt sure, he would leave, but not yet.

        “Teach me how to drum.” Alice had said, during the second day of the storm, “Show me.”
        He’d shown her, and she’d clumsily copied. It had, she remarked to herself, been like that old movie she’d seen, the flatscreener that had eventually be tri-converted, with the clay-making scene, and every bit as erotic as she'd hoped. Cocoa Butter had somehow seated himself behind her, they’d adopted the most un-ponylike sitting position she’d ever heard of, and he’d started drumming a rhythm. When she had it down, he’d shown her the dance. It didn’t really have many actual steps, it was all animal movement and emotion. She’d joined in, the drums forgotten. Somewhere along the way he’d found something they called simply ‘punch’, and the rest of the evening had gone by in a blur. Somewhere along the line the dance had taken the only logical course. This was terrible, she wasn’t really ready to become a mom.
        Worse, she had no idea where her kids were. In a village which didn’t really understand the idea of wait until you’re older.
        “Oh shit...”

***

        Summer woke up, mostly because Vertigo was snoring in her ear, but also because of a curious noise... It reminded her of trains, how when the horn blows from far off the sound would sort of bunch up and rise from almost nothing to a defeaning roar, before fading away again once the vehicle had passed. This was similar, but rather than a single long note, it sounded like swearing.
        “...Ohshitohshitohshitohshit-”
        Definitely swearing. In Ameringlish to boot...
        “OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT..!”
        Summer watched bemused as Alice ran past at a dead gallop. She turned her head and looked back up the hill. One of the villagers, looking slightly dishevelled and more than slightly  put out, came galloping after her.
        “Princess! Wait!”
        “Trish! Liz! LIZ! TRISH!”

        Summer watched, dreadfully amused, as Alice barged into and literally through various huts until she found her adopted offspring, one at a time. Various shrieks of hither-to manly stallions could clearly be heard and no less than five stallions were sent packing, two taking to the skies, two heading into the dense jungle that surrounded the collection of huts, bars and makeshift hotels that was generally held as being the village proper, and at least one stallion leaped off a small cliff and swam for his life.
        Summer watched him clamber onto one of the boats out in the harbour and peek a head very carefully above the guard-rails. Were all these ponies crazy, she wondered?
        Her rhetorical question was answered when, with a screech, Vertigo was woken up by a suspiciously low-flying cloud bearing Deborah and Zephyr. The latter had positioned the cloud, as quietly as possible, and then stamped his hooves smartly. A huge bolt of lightning had split the air to slam into the ground next to the now wide-awake Vertigo. As the rumble of thunder died away, the raucous laughter of the two delinquent pegasi upon the cloud could be heard. Summer shook her head, Vertigo looked very silly, and very cute. His fur was all puffed out, his mane and tail on end and he was bouncing on the very tips of his hooves. Then he looked up at the two faces peeking over the edge of the small black cumulo nimbus.
The laughter stopped.
        "Zephyr! Deborah! That's it! Get back here! I'm going to pluck your feathers out!"
        Summer just rolled her eyes and shook her head as three shapes went pinwheeling through the early morning sky.

Just another day in paradise.

***

        The storm broke. The arguments had stopped, too. Good food will do that. Summer languished with Vertigo in an otherwise empty hut that they'd borrowed for the night. The owner of the hut had apparently fled into the jungle and wasn't expected back for a few days. Summer couldn't understand why of course - what ever sort of happenstance could cause that?
        She and Vertigo had laughed about it, but Vertigo had remarked on Alice's continued strange behaviour since. She'd dragged her two remaining girls with her to the hut and had turfed Cocoa Butter out. The poor stallion had sat outside mooning over her all afternoon. Inside, Alice could be heard muttering and scribbling things down on pieces of parchment - the local trees were great for raw materials - and growling at any stallions who got too close.

        The biggest surprise of the day had been the morning return of the Sea Pony's Fancy, with not only a revitalized and shockingly talkative Nurse Bronze, but a new passenger - one Grey Bolt, previously known as Thomas, otherwise known as 'Debby's brother Tommy'.
        "Do you think... Bronze and Bolt..?" Vertigo asked, pausing in a nibble of Summer's mane.
        "What, Tommy and that nurse? Naa, Bolt's not gay, anypony could see that."
        "Well... I kinda fell for you."
        "Yeah, but you thought I was a mare."
        "You are."
        "I wasn't. I mean I was. Then I wasn't. Then I was again... if I hadn't, could you and me..?"
        Vertigo stopped chewing again, "I... don't know. I suppose if you'd..."
        "What?"
        "Well, sometimes a stallion will... uh... kinda stop being..."
        "Really? You mean they get rid of-"
        "Uh huh."
        "Would you have wanted me to..?"
        "No! Yes, I mean, uh... it might have... umm."
        "Pointe Vertigo! Shame on you!"
        Vertigo hung his head, "I love you. I loved you first, then found out you hadn't always been... I mean you hadn't even always been a pony, so I guess sex was less of an issue than species. I had a lot of time to think, but I guess I didn't do enough of it. I was... willing to change for you. Willing to, uh, get rid of my own for you, I guess, kinda."
        "I guess that'll have to do." Summer's expression was full of worry, "I didn't intend to have things move so fast, and it's a bit late to back out."
        Vertigo's ears pricked up, "You know, that's it? I said to myself it's too late to back out. I loved you, as a pony, and it would've worked out, even without your little potion. It would have been harder, love, to accept myself and you. I'm glad we live in such a world full of wonder, though kinda sad that I had any second thoughts about giving myself to you..."
        "I told you then, silly-feathers, that I'd do anything for you. I took that potion, with no regrets. If you tell me you'd have done the same, or that we'd have gotten by without it, eventually, then that's all there is to it." Summer turned her head around and kissed her stallion, long and hard, "Besides, it's not like I was drunk-"
        The wooden door to the hut flew open, and a wild-eyed Bolt pranced in, "Quick! You gotta help me! It's Bronze!"
        "What's wrong? Is he hurt?"
        "No, he loves me!"
        "Congra-" started Vertigo, but Summer put a hoof across his lips.
        "Not gay, remember?"
        "Oh horseapples. We'd better go find him."
        "You just gotta help me, guys," Bolt said, "he kissed me, I told him I'm straight, he ran off... I don't want to lose him! As a friend, I mean... I just don't... I like mares, he apparently likes stallions, you gotta help me find him! He ran off, I couldn't follow him fast enough. He could be hurt or, or worse!"
        Pointe Vertigo pushed past both Bolt and Summer, "You two search by land, maybe get some more help, I'll search by air, it'll be a lot quicker."

***

“There you are!” Vertigo yelled, as he spied the aptly-named Bronze on the beach. The unicorn stallion staggered and wobbled, eyes poorly focused, he was mumbling and shouting things. Vertigo landed, “You have any idea how long we’ve been searching for you? Grey came running to us soon after you had your argument or whatever. Said he was worried sick about you!”
“You lie!” Bronze cried, dropping his empty bottle. “He wouldn’t worry 'bout me! Lies...”
“Oh come now, you know I’m not lying. Now come on. Let’s get you back.You can settle this with him directly-” Vertigo began, but Bronze merely staggered away from him.

Vertigo followed. His attempts at calming things didn't seem to help. It was amazing, really, that Bronze could get quite that drunk - then again, he'd recently become acquianted with moonshine as the newfoals often called it, and he knew natural-born Equestrians had a sore weakness for the stuff. “Why... Why don’t we tackle all this after a good nights sleep eh?” Vertigo said, hoping it’d get the unicorn to follow him to a hut.
“Y-You think that’ll help?” Bronze asked
“Oh sure! A good night’s sleep? Why that helps anypony out. Why I remember this one time Summer had a stomach ache-” Vertigo began.
“Summer?” Bronze repeated as he began to shuffle his way toward Vertigo.
“Yeah Summer. She’s out looking for you as well you know. Why don’t we go show her you’re okay?”
“Y-yeah...” Bronze slurred.
Vertigo let out a small sigh of relief as the steaming unicorn started to follow him home.
“Summer was a colt once...” Bronze said suddenly.
Vertigo was cautious, but nodded, “Y-Yeah. She was. Funny that right?” Just keep walking there Bronze. Just keep walking...
“Did she... did she do it for you?”
Vertigo shook his head, “No, she did it for herself. I’d never have made her do it for me.”
“You love Summer as a mare right?”
“I love Summer, period. Regardless of what she is.” Vertigo replied matter of factly, "I mean... I was prepared to..."
“I bet... I bet Grey would like me if I was a mare...”
“Who knows pal. Not like you can find out. What happened with Summer was kind of a complicated matter. You’d have to ha-”

        Vertigo spun around, but it was entirely too late. The small bottle was already dropping to the sands, the stopper long gone, the potion inside gurgling down into the unicorn's belly. It was quick, far quicker than ponification was supposed to be. Ponification potion took minutes. This potion took seconds.
“...Horseapples.”

***

        Bronze's eyes opened, and the room swam into view. Headache, check. Dim recollections of the previous night, check. Current precise location unknown, check.
        "Ohh my head..."
        "Mmm? Oh, Bronze, sweetie? You may... you may want to take things-"
        Bronze got up out of bed and promptly fell onto the floor, head swimming.
        "Slowly."
        "My head... never again, by Celestia's bushy blue beard, never again. Summer? Where am I? What happened? I mean I got drunk, I remember that... I got drunk because... oh no, oh no... please tell me I didn't. I didn't did I? I didn't kiss Grey Bolt?"
        "You did, honey, I'm sorry. That's kinda why you went and got drunk... and that's not all."        
        "What? What else? Did I break something? Don't say I yelled at somepony or broke something or threw up or something stupid like that? I don't think I threw up... can't taste... ugh, my muzzle is dry, my teeth are all grindy, my breath is... phew, worse... but I just seem to have a slight case of amnesia and the mother of all headaches. You say you humans get drunk like this often?"
        Summer just sat there, in front of the door, silently and waiting.
        "What?"
        "Honey, what exactly do you remember about last night?"
        "Oh, horseapples. Not much... I already told you I kissed Bolt, okay? I was stupid. Stupid, stupid-"
        "And then?"
        "And then I got drunk, went for a walk on the beach..."
        "And?"
        "And... Vertigo found me. I didn't yell at Vertigo, did I?"
        Summer giggled, shaking her head, "No, or at least if you did he's not told me. You really don't remember?"
        "What? Luna's mane, spit it out!"
        "Can you sit down?"
        "Oh Celestia, I-"
        "Sit."
        Bronze did so.
        "You remember what you took from me yesterday?"
        A small vial, the stopper falling to the sands, seemingly in slow motion. The strange liquid, tasting faintly of cherries-
        "Oh... oh no."
        "Yeah. Shall we go tell Debs her potential sister-in-law is awake?"