That's right, The Merc with the mouth. The tower of power. TOO sweet to be sour. DEADPOOL and ponie
How did Deadpool get to Equestria? How is Discord involved? How come Pinkepie wants his mask? WHY DOES ZAP APPLES MAKE DEADPOOL SANE? How come Luna is back on the moon AND Why am I asking all this?
Well Because I can't think of a good Description!!
"Wade here. Read this story and OR I will find you and shoot you with my rabies infected hamster gun. I WILL.. I'm watching you reader"
"Also This story better not make me look fat writer, or there will be HELL to pay. And when I mean hell I mean I will make you watch My Little Pony"
Well. This is my 1st fanfic ever. So I might need some help, besides that enjoy
(notes) When Wade Aka Deadpool speaks. His mind is another voice. It will be voiced in --> (this)<--- so when you see that. That is him talking to himself in his head, also {this will be used as another of wade's head voices} As the writer MY voice in the story will be [this]Why you ask? Deadpool is insane and breaks the 4th wall, Now enjoy this story peeps.
Chapter 1
Tacos, LOTS of tacos
"This little piggy went to the market."
BANG.
"This little piggy stayed home."
Another BANG.
"This little piggy had roast beef."
BANG, Wade reloaded the sniper rifle as he took a bite out of his food. Sounds of cries are heard in the distance as he nommed on his taco.
" Mhmm oh god, so Good. Oh...uh, where was I?(... Piggy had none wade) THAT'S RIGHT." Deadpool took aim. " THIS PIGGY HAD NONE!"
Bang.
{OKAY!! we get it.. He is shooting a gun! Enough with the bangs!}
[.... Fine, no more bangs]
As bodies dropped, Wade continued to eat his taco. " MHMMMM, These Mexicans SURE know how to make food!!" He groaned fervently, shooting another round into the chest of the very cook that made him his food.
(Why you ask?? Keep reading noob)
"AND THIS PIGGY went. Wee wee wee" ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way home" He looked into the scope at the man running for his life. He smiled as he took his shot.
BANG
{I am going to find you writer.. } Wade put his gun up and grinned behind the mask.
" AND THAT.. Is how you start a Fan Fic!"
About 15 mins later.
It was just another job for the Merc with the Mouth; paid and now on his way out,
( psst.. Wadey-poo.. Shouldn't we ask him something?)
{Like why did we have to kill the taco makers!}
Wade turned to the man who’d hired him.
" I realllllly hate asked BUT why did I kill those cooks who made some Kickass tacos?"
A very large man stood up. He was fat and built like a tree. Wade looked up at him and said
"What? Big man doesn't like tacos? Maybe some diet coke... or a happy meal from Mcd-(WHOA WHOA WHOA.. We don't want to be sued!!)
The big man looked down on him. Smoking a cigar, poor Deadpool didn't even know that this man was the crime lord Kingpin.
"They didn't make the due date" He spoke as he blew a bit of smoke into the mask of Wade.
Wade coughs and waves his hand in front of his face then said.
"OHHHH so I get it. He rented some movies from you. Man, late charges cost MORE than a hand and foot now huh? Mhmm Now..What movies?? You don't seem like the "Dirty dancing" type. Mhmm."
Wade put his fingers to his chin like he was deep in thought, Kingpin just stared at him, getting annoyed of this Merc.
"WELL.To hire me to kill those dudes, It must have been the best movie ever right?"
(Avatar?)
{High school Musical 2 Electric Boogaloo?}
Wade snaped his fingers and said out loud. "OH OH I got it.... A Land Before Time!."
Kingpin looked down on Wade, This game he was playing was getting old fast, He leaned down and said in a low voice
"Get out"
"HEY! That is no way to treat a lady!" Wade replied, feigning a falsetto voice.
Kingpin took a long breath and looked him in the eyes, leading to Wade in a rare act of common sense, pipe up:
"WELLLLLLLLLLLL. Before you ask me how to lose a guy in 10 days, I am just gonna go. CALL ME! See ya around Killer. BODY SLIDE x4"
Wade teleported out with a cheeky smile, back to his motel room.
Taking off the teleport belt and throwing it beside the sofa. He stopped and looked at himself in the mirror
"MHMMM HMMM looking good wade.. LOOOKKKKING reallllllly goood!"
He looked over his tight young sexy body as he eyed himself up, he slowl-{WAIT WAIT WAIT. This is NOT a clop fic. Stop that}
[sorry.. got carried away there for a sec]
Wade grabbed his Mt.Dew and drank up. When OUT OF NO WHERE an earthquake started (What? Soooo this fics’ based in San Francisco?)
WHoooaa" He lost his footing as his drink fell out of his hands and on to his teleport belt. Wade started to fall and landed on the belt.
BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ
In a flash of electricity and unlikely occurrences, Wade disappeared
The sun was high in the deep blue sky. Just another lovely day in Ponyville..
Spike was on his way though Ponyville; Rarity sent him to get a few things. A few things meaning 4 boxes or cloth, 5 bags of this pink stuff and some lace ropes, though he didn't mind. He would do anything for that beautiful pony. His eyes turned into hearts as he started to float back to the carousel boutique, When. a red glow coming from what seemed like Canterlot and a loud BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ sound was heard..
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were at Sweet Apple Acres coming up with a plan to get back at Pinkie. One of the pink pony's pranks made Dash's and Applejack's mane go pink for a week.. And they needed to get her back. Dash flew up in the air and said "I GOT IT! Make her believe that she is like, banned from drinking your cider this year." Applejack looked up then saw the red glow "What in the hay?" Right when she said that. BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ!!!
Fluttershy and Pinkiepie were walking the streets of Ponyville, as Pinkie's cartwheels bumped into the shy pony. "OOPSIES. sorry Futtershy!" The pink pony said to her. "Um it's okay, but you should watch were you are going" Pinkie started to move oddly "OHHHH Nelly. This is .. a new one.." "Oh, dear. What is is pink-" BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZ!
Twilight was reading about the history of magic and how great pony's used it to face evil beings.She flipped the pages and looked up, something didn't feel right. She walked out of her home and looked up. there was a red glow and what smelled like... some sort of.. food she did not know of. She wondered what was going on right as she heard. BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ!!
"Agh, damn earth moving without giving me a warning!!! Wait..."
Wade looked around. He was in what once was the maze in Canterlot, now was just a open dirt field.
"Uh... this isn't my motel.. .And I really don't want to make a Kansas joke, MHMMMMM I think I have been here or SEEN this place before"
Deadpool stood up and looked at the puffy clouds and the sky.
"OHH...OHH.. Know." Wade raised his hands up with a smile. "World of Warcraft!!!"
(Lets go kill boars!!!)
The red glow went away as Deadpool stood up, not noticing anything about his surroundings. A nearby stone statue of Discord stopped shaking and fell to the ground, smashing on the floor. Weirdly though, instead of a crash, a small evil laugh echoed in the maze.
Wade looked though his pockets "AGH.. Where is my damn phone? " At this moment [conveniently], Wade’s official Deadpool ringtone started going off:
THIS IS A RINGTONEEEEEEE
SO PICK UP THE PHONNNNNNNNEEE
betttter hurry up, Beefore I-
"Ahhh, There you are you sexy phone you"
He smiled as he pulled it out from one of his gear pockets. This celebration was cut short unfortunately, as he saw that the battery was running out.
{Then how come the ringtone was going off? PLOT HOLE!!!}
"Really... REALLY? Agh" He moaned, Not in a sexy way you creeps.
(Wade.. we don't even know where we are.. why are you caring about your phone?)
" WELLL if you HAVE to ask; If it's a long walk back to the motel, I WANTED TO PLAY ANGRY BIRDS!! Can I? NO!!...dumb phone."
He threw the dumb phone to the ground, It shattered as he hit, he smiled a bit as he saw this and looked around.
"Huh.. World of Warcraft looks... peaceful....... WAIT.. WHAT IF IT'S NOT WOW? What if I am in some sort of black hole, made by evil BEINGS THAT WILL SLOWLY EAT AWAY AT MY BRAIN JUICES. What if I can never go back?? NEVERRRR!!”
(Calm down hunny bunny... It's much worse!)
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!"
This panic slash argument was suddenly cut short. He heard something behind him, Wade turned and saw a herd of the royal pony guards galloping toward him. Shame he didn’t actually know that they were royal pony guards.
(Err...Wade...)
"...Yes caption box?"
(Are.. those.. ponies.. in armor running at us?)
"I do believe so " {LOLWUT}(RUN WADE RUN!!!!!)
Without thinking...well he never really thinks, he turned on his heels and ran away blindly, reaching a cliff, which was registered by Wade with a:"Really? Oh crap I got to jump huh"
Just then, one of the ponies in armor yelled "HALT In the nam-"
(THEY TALK!!??!!){jump man JUMP}
Wade looked down into the river and gulped "Well.. looks like a good time for a cliff hanger." This hint was completely ignored by the writer, leaving Wade to jump off the side of the cliff into the river below, just as the pony guards got there to see the huge splash as Deadpool sank into the water.
Meanwhile
Spike looked up in the sky "Huh.. that was... uh.. odd" But his mind went off the weird sound and the red glow as he got to Rarity's home. He stood outside the door with all the bags in his hands "UH.. RARITY. My hands are full.. COULD YOU OPEN THE DOOR?"
"Oneeeee moment dear!!" Spike heard coming though the door as It opened with a purple glow. The fashion pony stood as Spike mouth dropped. She was wearing a new dress. He dropped the bags as he looked up at her with hearts for eyes again. "Wow rarity...just WOW"
"Oh Spikey.. you like?" She smiled and did a little spin. "Its part of my new line" This image unfortunately was cut short with the gallops rapidly approaching. Pinkie and Fluttershy ran up looking flustered and excitable.
"RARITY" Pinkie yelled "Twilight needs to see us now. IT'S SUPER DUPER important!!!" "Well.. there is no time to lose then, Come one spike dear" Spike, not being able to believe his luck, threw the bags aside eagerly and jumped up on Rarity's back and grinned.
"Yes Rarity" He said with a HUGE smile.
The three ponies ran to twilight's tree house with Spike in tow. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were already there.
"Glad you can make it girls." Twilight said with a small smile
"ARE you going to tell us NOW why you called us?" The multicolored pony said.
Applejack gave her a look and said. "Calm down Sugarcube. Now twilight, why did you call us?"
"Well. You all saw the red glow and heard that noise right?" Twilight replied. All her friends nodded. "Well.. it came from can-“ Just at that moment, Spike coughed up a letter "It’s a letter from the Princess !!” Twilight gasped, grabbing it with her magic, opened it and started to read.
To My faithful student Twilight sparkle. Be careful.. Something has entered this world, and I believe is on the way to Ponyvile. Regretfully, I have...other duties I need to attend to. You and your friends are the wielders Of the Elements of harmony, so I trust that If something does happen, you will be able to take care of it. Be safe. Princess Celestia.
"Something has entered this world?" Fluttershy said. " Wh-wh- what does that mean?"
"OHHH I wonder if it likes PARTY'S!~!!" Pinkie Pie jumped up and down with a smile
"Party's Pinkie? Please.. I wanna see that.. thing whatever it is, I want it to try and do something to Ponyvile.. I'LL TAKE IT ON!!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she flew up in the air.
Twilight didn't like this. On it's way here...and how come the Princess didn't stop it? And more importantly, what was it?
A very cross eyed pony was flying upside down by the river when she saw something with one of her eyes on the bank. It was red and...odd looking. She landed [well.. kinda]and poked it with her hoof.
"HELLLLLO thing. are you dead?" She kept poking the red dead thing.
Wade was healing.. He had just jumped off a high ass cliff AND MISSED the river
(Dumb rocks not breaking OUR FALL) {And what the hell is poking us? WADE.. time to wake up bro-ham!!}.
"Mhmm mommy" Wade muttered sleepily. As he started to get up, Derpy freaked out at the idea of the dead returning and flew away.
"AGH" Wade rubbed his head and looked up. Far far FAR FAR FAR FAR above him. It was really far lik-
"Okay I get it it was far up there!!" Far up was the same cliff that he jumped off of. "Kids.. Don't try that at home.." Wade stood and looked over and saw his Handguns lying next to him. He grabbed them and put them back into their homes on his gear belts.
(Hey Wade)
"Yes dear?"
(We kinda need to advance the plot a bit sooooo uh.. just.. go do something)
"WELLL like I was going to say. I really need to find out wher.... Oh no.. "Right then something caught his eyes" OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.. "
Wade fell to his knees and looked upon a smashed taco.
"I WAS SAVING THAT!!" Wade curled up in a ball and started to fake cry.
"We are going to HAVE so much FUN.. I wonder if it likes cake OH OH or pin the tail on the pony. maybe we can get a GROUP PIC WITH IT!!" Pinkie kept talking on how much fun the thing would be as Twilight looked though her book, Spike was helping.
"What do you think It is Twilight??" The young dragon said.
"Whatever it is, it's not a pony." Twilight remembers what the letter said "Something" has entered this world. What could it be? Something that even The Princess didn't know of and what was the "other" duties? "But. I really don't know Spike.” She sighed heavily
“I really don't know"
A hidden voice said with a smile yet the ponies could not hear him. "Oh Twilight; Soon, It won't matter.. Now that Discord is back in town...HAHAHHAHAHAHA"
After about 10 minutes of crying over the dead taco, he dug a mini hole in the ground and bowed his head as he put the taco into the hole.
"As we commence your souls to Aetherius, Blessings of the Eight Divines upon you, My dear taco friend" Wade burst into a new peel of tears and started to sing slowly.
"Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever? Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever!!"
[Wow Wade that was deep. A manly tear just came to my eye.]
"I don't want to talk about it." Wade looked down and buried the poor, brave young taco.
"OKAY. Where was I? Oh yeah...WHERE THE CRAP AM I?
(Check your Pokedex!!)
[Oh man. I am going to get so sued over all this copyright] {SHUT IT writer and eat the cupcake that person gave to you in the comments}
As everyone reading tries to find the comment now)
"Err mind? 1st of all stop yelling at the writer. and 2nd I don't even have a Pokedex... WAIT! Were those pony things. WERE THEY POKEMON?!" Wade's eyes narrowed
" I must.... catch them all" Over head a voice was heard.
Stay turned because next, On the hub It's My Little Pony friendship is Magic
(.....Ok, I’m lost. You’re on your own dude)
"UH... what" Wade looked up in the sky. "God?"
My Little Pony, My Little Pony. Ah Ah Ah Ah... My Little Pony!! I used to wonder what friendship could be
"WHAT?? ITS IN MY HEAD!! AGH"
My Little Pony, Until you shared its magic with me!!
Wade fell to the ground screaming a rather unmanly squeal with his hands to his ears. To look at him, you’d think he was undergoing a frightful, painful torture.
Big adventure,Tons of fun, A beautiful heart, Faithful and strong,Sharing kindness, It's an easy feat!’
Wade slowly reached for one of his handguns and cocked it as he aimed it to his head. “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! THIS IS WORST THAN HAVING JUSTIN BIEBER STUCK IN MY HEAD! BRING BACK THE VOICES! BRING BACK THE VOICES IN MY HEAD DAMN YOU!”
And magic makes it all complete!!! Do you know you're all my very best friends?!!!!!!!
BANG.
"Wake up my dear insane friend" A voice gently called to Wade. The weird pony song was gone, the voices were back...which is a weird thing to be relieved about but it’s Deadpool so there you go. Wade was of course healing,
"Okay.. what the hell was that voice?"
{what voice?}
"The voice in green!! IT WAS IN MY HEAD.." (You mean me?)
"Yep.. I guess that's how I got here, I was too sexy for my world and it sent me here. I mean look at my body.. I work out!"
(You’re kidding me. You’re now going to quote Sexy and I know it?)
"Never heard of it..."
(........ God, you are so dumb...it's actually so cute)
".... My mind... just hit on me..... OKAY THEN." Wade went over to the water and leaned down and started to drink from the stream, because that’s what the explorer people on survival documentaries do when they’re out of Mountain Dew.
"Huh. This...is kinda good. Mhmm best water I had in my whole life...better than Mountain Dew" He sat on a nearby rock and pulled out a diary with pink laces and pretty little flowers on it.
Deadpool looked up, straight at the reader, frowning ."Don't judge me, It was on sale" He looked back down and started to write.
Deadpool's Diary Stardate 69.115.42XD.
Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid of m..
"Wait that's not right. lets try that again."
Between you and me, something amazing happened... and now I can talk to animals. It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same. This is me, Eliza Thornbe..
"CRAP..Thats not right ether. UH.. OH I GOT IT."
(Wade.. just give up before we make a Bel air joke)
"OH FINE.." Wade put the pink diary away and stood. "Guess we should find a place to crash then...mhmm...Do you reckon this place has a Hilton?"
Deadpool just started walking down the river, looking around for some sort of place he could bust into and sleep...maybe shoot a few things/people.
"Huh.. This place is colourful. Kinda hurts my head. WHERE IS MY GREY!! Ohh a bunny.." A bunny ran in front of him and looked up with a mixture of chirpy cute naivety and hope for food. "Awww! It’s so cute"
Wade popped out his handgun like Clint Eastwood, chucking it up in a totally realistic fashion and grabbing it slow mo as he shot the bunny in the face.
"That’s better” He grinned before looking up and noticing the rather shocked reader. “WHAT?? Everything is so nice. I GOTS TO shoot something!!"
[I am going to get so much hate for that]
Wade kept walking by the riverside, not really having any clue where he was going or general idea for plot. He was just walking till he came to what looked like apple trees.
"Ewww!! Veggies.. " Wade kept walking though the apple field as he came to a tree house, better known as the Cutie Mark club house...to everyone but Deadpool.
"I have now my NEW motel...yay!" Wade ran up and crawled through the window in a cool stealth move. Looking around the dark, empty living room he looked all the drawings of ponies and apples before then coming to a map of Ponyville..
"AHH HA!” He declared with an air of triumph. “I have no idea what any of this means.... I'm just going to go to sleep," It was starting to get dark as he curled up into a ball in the corner and started to pass out.
"Mhmmm.. My little ponyyyy.. My li...zzzzzz" Wade passed out, reaming Of World War Two intermingled with ponies.
All the other ponies were asleep...minus one. As Twilight sat up in bed, reading though book after book to find out what she could be dealing with, she looked up and sighed "WHAT could it be!!" At that moment, She heard something loud, strange and unfamiliar. Scrambling from her bed and down the stairs, ran out of her home and looked up to the night sky. She gasped loudly, this wasn’t right! Up in the sky.. was cotton candy clouds
[WELLL time to write and time to bring longer chapters.. Hope you all enjoy this one.. Oh and SAY goodbye to the 4th wall.. And mhmmm these brownies are great]
Chapter 4
Rainy with a chance of insane
"No no no, it can't be! I must be drea...I MUST BE!" She looked up at the cotton candy clouds. "Discord" She whispered slowly with her eyes wide, praying this was a nightmare.
"Mmhmm who else my dear?" Discord appeared in front of her with a wicked smile. "Oh my dear Twilight, how I MISSED you.” He was grinning with a toothy glare, the darkness spilling out of every pore, striking fear into the purple pony. “You see, being stuck in stone again is so...boring." He pulled a pretend hurt face, making him look more sinister.
"H..how?" Twilight squeaked, truly horrified.
"How did I escape? Mhmmm, that answer is for later...right now, it's time for a bit of FUN" Discord replied to the pony, still grinning like a Jack O’ Lantern.
Twilight stopped being shocked and looked up at him. "We can stop you again. We can and will; and you know it Discord" She managed a brave semi smirk up at the dragon, confident at his imminent defeat...that sentiment however, was not shared by the nefarious villain.
"Mhmm last time? Last time I was just playin. THIS time” He burst into peals of cackles at this “Hahahha!!!! It won’t be the same my dear. Not. At. All. I already took care of Sweet Celestia...Oh and you will just LOVE what I did to Luna."
Upon hearing that Twilight shouted "So that's what Celestia was warning me about...YOU. "
Discord fell about the floor in tears of hysterics as some pigs went by flying. "Ohhh hahahha you thought that thing was me??? Ahahah Oh Twilight" He wiped a tear from his eye. "I have to thank that thing for letting me out.” Still giggling, he threw his arms out.
Thing? Oh no. That means what ever The princess warning her about was... still out there..
Discord flew above Twilight. "Discord IS BACK BABY AND I’M BIGGER AND BADDER THAN EVER MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran back to the HQ. Applejack told them to find a safe place to hide and she would come for them. In the mind of a pony, what other safe place then their tree house?
"What do you think she was so worried about?" Sweetie asked as the three ran. As they got to their base, all three of them stopped. Loud snoring which was loud enough to wake the dead
(HEY HEY HEY HEY! WE DON’T SNORE!) [Shush dear, I’m telling a story here]
Rattled from their tree house, causing all the ponies to look at each other nervously.
"... What.. What is that?" Scootaloo asked.
"Why, it sounds like Big Mac after a long day of bucking, I wonder why he is in our base."Applebloom replied with a smile. The three walked up and peered through the window. Her smile quickly fell from her face though, as they saw a big odd looking red thing sleeping in the corner of the room.
"Th-thats not Big Mac... " Sweetie said before all the three little ponies screamed as Deadpool woke up.
"AGH my head! Mhmmm what the hell? Can an insane merc with a body to die for get some sleep around here?!"
Scootaloo pushed the two other girls down as she screamed out indignantly "Who are you and what are you doing in our treehouse!!??!!" I’ll leave it to you to imagine if the intended effect of sounding tough was carried through successfully or not. The other two climbed back up to look at the...red thing.
"Wha...? " Deadpool turned and looked at the pony looking back at him though the window. "Oh that’s right. I’m still here in this crazy place.. "
"Are ya going to answer?" Applebloom yelled as well.
"Greattttt. There’s more of you...er...pony things." Wade sat up and looked around. "I UH...needed a place to sleep last night...and the ground was all...well...dirty...with dirt...EW"
[a fine show of Deadpool being as manly as ever]
(Hey.. S-shut up.. Baka)
"Sounds like my sister" Said Sweetie with a short laugh.
"Three? Three ponies that can talk?" Wade sighed and then looked up "HEY...Pony things...Where AM I?"
"In our tree house!!" The three said in unison.
"Okay. Now where is the tree house in?" Wade said cutely
" Sweet Apple Acres. My family's farm" Applebloom said to him.
"Should we really be telling him that?" Sweetie bot. I mean bell said to her.
"WELL he did ask, no need to be rude." Applebloom replied
"Okay. So I am in a treehouse in a apple farm...talking to ponies....SEEMS like a normal day for me" Deadpool said. "So.. Uh...hi. My name is Deadpool and I have no idea how I got here. I kinda just slept here for the night.
"He seems nice...and lost" Sweetie bell said to her friends. Right then the three young ponies looked up and saw the pink cotton candy clouds and ran inside, Not really caring, that Deadpool, red thing was in there, They knew what those clouds meant...Discord was back..
"I.. I Hope my sister is okay" Applebloom said as she cowered in fear
"Mine too" Sweetie said.
Wade looked at the ponies."UH...am I missing something here?"
Scootaloo looked up at him. "Discord is here" He said with an air of disbelief that somebody didn’t know who Discord was.
"Andddd who is that??" Wade replied to the fearful pony.
"Rarity told me he was a god of Chaos or something...All I know, he is bad, like...evil."
"Wait. Who the heck are you.. things?" Deadpool asked the the ponies, still prioritizing things in his head.
"We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders" They all said in unison again.
"I'm Applebloom, This is Sweetie Bell and that Is Scootaloo" The young pony answered helpfully.
Deadpool looked at them, "PppfffffttttttAHHHAHAHHAHAHHA." Yes, Deadpool broke the tension well and truly by collapsing to the floor in hysterics. "Okay okay.. hahah.. Wait till Logan hears this. AHHAHHAHAHA"
The three ponies looked at him and Applebloom started to laugh with the thing. then the rest did. What else do you do in that situation? After a some time of laughing Sweetie bell said to him.
"SO, what are you anyway...and is your name is Deadpool?"
"Mhmmm How do I put this? I come from...OUTER SPACE!! With people like me, like...far far far far far far
(once again.. we get it.. It was far)
{HEY! Let Him do the job no one pays me him for!!!}
(.... Shut up other side of our mind)
{...Oh.. sorry honey bunny}
( mhmm I can't stay mad at you.. So damn cute..)
{*blushes*}
[..........]
"UH...Deadpool?" Scootaloo asked, poking his arm with her hoof.
"Wha? Oh sorry...My mind was...hitting on itself. ANYWAY! far away.. I didn't mean to come here.. But I am. AND don't worry, I'm a good guy...well...sometimes..I am what you call a merc. Someone hires me and I do a job. No matter what it is" Wade smiled and looked at them.
"Is that a mask, Or is that your real face?" Applebloom asked him, wondering how the man ate.
"What this?" Deadpool started to take off his mask then stopped, the three ponies could see his messed up chin
(Wade...we are fulgy as crap. and you know that. You know that every time we show our real face, everybody runs)
He brought the mask back down to its place and nodded "Yes. It's a mask, but what’s under there is a No no. Anywho, about this Discord. Do you ponies have like... heroes to stop that...Discord...dude...guy...thing?"
"Heroes? No, But my sister and her friends stopped him before" Sweetie said proudly, Right as the young sweetie stopped talking a loud voice was heard.
"Dear Ponyvile! I Discord, have won against your pony protectors!! Prepare for some good ol fashion Chaos!! AHHAHAHAHHA"
"No No.. RAIRTY" Sweetie cried
"Applejack!!" Applebloom joined in,
Wade sat looking at the little ponies crying.. "So... this Discord is.. a bad guy?"
The three nod crying.
Wade stands up with a smile as he grabs his Swords and Handguns, Wade walked out the door, and turned to say to the poines
"...I'll be back"
[Hello readers. I would brace your self for the next chapter.. heh.. Two words.. boss battle. And like I said... longer chapters to come ~nova]
"Discord IS BACK BABY AND I’M BIGGER AND BADDER THAN EVER MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!” Discord said to Twilight while laughing hysterically.
"But first, I want to show you something ."Discord smiled as an odd yellow ball had Twilight´s friends trapped floated above her "You are all alone Twilight.. No other pony can or will help you... admit It sweetheart.. you lost this time."
Twilight tried to use her magic to release her friends but nothing happened. She couldn't do anything without her dear friends, who were now trapped in that strange, yellow ball. She looked up at Discord. “ I will not give up, Not now.. not ever”
She looked up at him, Discord just smiled “Oh really?” Discord snapped his fingers and the yellow ball started to shrink, another snap of his fingers and a portal appeared under the yellow ball.
“I can easily banish your friends to a place full of chaos and evil, try anything and your friends will experience something worse than their most horrible nightmare”
Twilight backed up,Thinking, looking at he faces of her friends and sighed
"…Okay Discord…you won…"
Twilight started to turn gray as Discord laughed again, then yelled so hard that all of Ponyville could hear his devilish but enchanting voice .
" Dear Ponyville! I, Discord, have won against your pony protectors!! Prepare for some good ol´ fashioned Chaos!! AHHAHAHAHHA" The Draconequus magically teleported the now defeated Twilight inside the yellow ball
"Too bad my little ponies ." Discord smiled at the Welders of the Elements of Harmony as they struggled to get out of the sphere of energy. He then placed the ball down and made a throne , sat upon it and with a big smile he exclaimed his victory
" Looks like Discord Won. HAHAHHA"
"Agh.. Dammit.. why did I have to leave my Teleport belt at the top of this damn cliff?!?" Wade had only the bottom part of his suit around his waist and his mask on. He was climbing the same rock mountain he jumped off of yesterday. A song popped on his head as he climbed, reaching to grab another rock to pull him self up, He started to sing.
"This game is getting started, I won't back out. This time you really won't escape Lets stack a little higher My inner fire, I won't back out I'm on my way
This game is getting started and I can see your team sneaking our way, Initiate, as you hook on our bait and you're dying for it."
For some reason this League of Legends song really started to pump wade up as he reached the top..
"wave, shield, bond, till you drop dead Killing and killing and killing and killing and kill"
He stopped singing as he pulled himself up and smiled, Putting his suit back on
"Awwwww yeah, i just did that… " He looked down
" Right where I left it.. My dumb phone and YAY my teleport belt... Wait" He saw that the phone was fixed and his belt was fixed as well. .
"HOLY PLOT TWIST BATMA-...
{we are from marvel, wade.. }
“Oh yeah, But still.. How in the name of .. OH WELL I DON’T CARE. NOW I CAN GO BACK TO MY HOME NOW.... YAY" As he put his phone in his pocket and his teleport belt on , he remembered that those Cute little ponies were scared over this Discord fella. Wade looked up in the sky and thought about it for a second, then looked down the cliff. He smiled at the reader and said.
"This game is getting started " Wade started to run and jumped over the cliff once again, this time in slow-mo just to make it look more epic.
Discord stopped laughing when he sensed something over at Canterlot. "So…My insane friend.. You didn’t take my gift and leave… you stayed.. " Discord smiled while his eyes showed excitment. "Well. If you want to play a game…"He snapped his fingers and made his army of chaos appear. Discord´s army was made of The Diamond Dogs wearing different kinds of weapon and armors , Two red dragons , An Evil version of Gilda andThe Flim Flam brothers, a bigger version of the Hydra, A double tailed Manticore and a pack of Timberwolves. "I have a guest coming over to play, but im too busy making this a fun and chaotic world, so I want you to play with him, you can kill him for all I care" His army had been “infected” with Discord´s chaos, making them gray colored. But some of them like Gilda and the Flim Flam brothers were “enhanced” with Discord´s chaos, retaining their personalities but having their hidden abilities unlocked . He snapped his fingers and his army ran off in the direction of Canterlot. Twilight looked at Discord and said " Who are you afraid of, Discord?" Discord laughed. "Afraid? You must be mistaken, my dear Twilight. This is excitement...because I know that he will give me the entertainment that I have longed since that lovely day when I met your teacher…"
Wade was running though the forest on his way to Ponyvile, jumping over branches and rocks. He stopped and looked around him when he heard something that sounded like growls, then 7 timber wolves out of nowhere attacked our hero "OHHHH wood puppys!!" Wade said as he looked at the wooden wolves . One of the wolves lugged for him as wade sidestepped , making the wolf fall and hit it's wooden nose , " Ohhh.. Bad puppys.. That's a No No" Wade took out his katanas and readied himself for an awesome battle " You want some? THEN COME GET SOME, PUPPYS" One of the wolf behind him jumped at him, as Wade ducked and let him jump over his body , he spin around and cut the wolf across it's belly with his right katana , Chucks of wood rained over the other wolves as wade teleported and stabbed it in the neck, the sword went clean though as it got stuck in the dirt, Deadpool kicked another wolf that tried to attack him from behind hard enough to snap it's wooden neck, He jumped back while grabbing his sword as two more wolves tried to finish him while he was distracted . He teleported up in the air and threw out the grenades that were on his pockets" AND boom goes your face!!." Wooden pieces went everywhere as wade fell to the ground full of sawdust. Deadpool put his swords back as he was almost hit by something big and red. Above him were two huge red dragons. Wade smiled as he sang
"This game is getting started, I won't back out. wave, shield, bond, till you drop dead Killing and killing and killing and killing and kill"
He started running up to one of the dragons that landed to incinerate him with its flames. Deadpool jumped when the dragon leveled his head. "Fus Ro Dah!!!!!!"
[ WELLLL.. there you go.. chapter 5. Enjoy. Oh yes.. The link to what deadpool was singing the whole time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjWz38ekaNY Anyway.. Peace out for now. ~Nova~]
[Sorry this took so long.. had to make it good. heh.. anyways Thanks to my editor and bane.. For making me better at this writing thing. And Hello /mlp/ Since someone posted my fan fic on /mlp/ My views went up.. and I thank that Random anon that posted.. I KNOW you don't want to listen to me sooooo Here you go.. chapter 6]
IT'S KILLING TIME
Do you really think this is a good idea?" Sweetie asked her friends, nervously licking her lips as the three little ponies walked though the apple farm.
"Well we got to do something, We can't just sit there all day" Applebloom replied as she walked,
"Besides.” She said, trying to sound cheery despite the fear coursing through her veins. “It should be fun” Scootaloo cheered, trying to also emulate excitement. This illusion however, was shattered right then the Cutie Mark Crusaders stopped dead in their tracks.
"Well, well well brother of mine, what do we have here? A couple of lost ponies" Flim smirked devilishly.
"We should help them out brother" Flam said In a sinister voice to his brother. The two brothers looked down on the three ponies, there was something different about the Flim Flam Brothers. They were gray and had this evil look in their eyes.
"I thought we ran you out of town?" Applebloom yelled, eyes narrowed. Flim, displeased at this show of defiance, used his magic to shut her up.
"No. No talking, save your voices...for the screams" He jeered as right behind the Cursaders landed Gilda, Her eyes black with hate. The three ponies, seeing the new sight, screamed as loud as they could.
Deadpoool started running up to one of the dragons that landed to incinerate him. When the dragon levelled his head, the Merc screamed dramatically,
"Fus Ro Dah!!!!!!" and aimed his handguns at the dragons face. He was about to shoot but this heroic Ramboesque effect was wasted when the dragon used his massive tail to hit him back, sending Wade flying into a nearby tree with a sickening crack. The dragon flew up and started to dive at him, spitting his flames. Luckily, Wade’s head and back healed quickly enough to see the flames hurdling towards him.
"BODYSLIDEx5" He yelled, teleporting onto the dragons neck. He grabbed hold of his scales as he took his sword and stabbed the beast in the eye whilst laughing manically, the sword got stuck as the Dragon winced in pain, howling and tossing to get it out. Wade took his handguns, spun them in his hands and pressed them to the dragon’s head,
“Hasta la vista baby” He grinned manically pulling the triggers. Multiple bullets shot into the dragons skull, exploding in a brilliant firework of brains and gore. After the whole clip was unloaded, the great dragon fell as Wade back-flipped off the dying beast. As he flew through the air artistically, But he was grabbed by the other dragon. The dragon had him in its mouth like a chew toy, he tried to escape, twisting in the jaws, ripping his costume on the razor sharp teeth, but it was no use, The beast closed its mouth swallowed him whole . In the dragons mind it won. The Winged beast landed triumphantly, enjoying his meal and licking his lips satisfactorily.
Then a sharp pain was felt in the dragons gut, causing it to howl in excruciating pain. A sword popped though its belly as Wade hummed the Skyrim theme as he climbed out of the insides of the dragon, posing dramatically The dragon tried to lean down and bite Wade but he jumped out of the way, diving to the floor. Deadpool smiled though his mask as the dragon became enraged and started to run at him clumsily. Wade took out a gray little box with a red button on it, He made his fingers look like a gun like kids do sometimes, and pointed at the dragon as it ran at him
"Dragonborn bitch," Wade said as he pressed the red button, Little did the dragon know that when Wade was inside it, He’d placed his Deadpool bombs in there.
BEEP BEEP BEEPPPPPP BOOMMMMMMMMMACCKKOMM!!
The insides of the dragon blew up and chucks of dragon meat went flying all over. Deadpool turned and started walking as bits of the fallen dragon landed all around him. He went over to the other dragon, grabbing his sword that was stuck in its eye and pulled it out with a squelch. He put his swords back and reloaded his guns as he went to go wash up because DAMN he was dirty.
[you can end the song now]
"Awwwww, But it made me look sexy as crap." Wade said with a frown as the readers stopped the song. He bathed in a nearby steam. He still kept his mask on as he washed the dragon bits off of him despite thinking no one was around. Well, He was wrong. In the woods a Manticore leered at the naked merc, stalking Deadpool like prey,
"Lalalalalala" Wade was singing as he splashed about, completely oblivious. The Manticore got closer, its mouth opening slightly as it got ready to pounce. Closer and then clo-
BANG.
Smoke came from Wade's gun as he brought it to his mouth and blew it out, "Can't sneak up on me. YOU AIN'T FALCO!!" Deadpool declared out loud as he exited the pond. He dried off with the dead Manticore's fur and got dressed.
"What was I doing again?"
(Saving ponies?)
“Why?”
{Because It's what the plot says to do!!}
"Oh yeah. Thanks mind!" Wade started to skip down the forest path.
"WOOF is that him?"
"Aye I think it is." About 30 or 40 Diamond Dogs hid in the trees.
Wade kept skipping then stopped, Looking around and he signed. "Really? REEEALLLY?! FINE...Assassin's creed badass time." He pulled out his guns and looked up,, above him was a random bird.. He nodded at the bird as he looked down again.
The Dogs jumped out and surrounded him. Rover stepped out and spoke "Aghh Woof, come with us or el-"
BANG!!
Wade shot him in the face and then asked innocently: “Does that answer your question?"
"ATTACK!!!!" Another dog howled, as Wade jumped in the air and popped his ultimate.
"WHOOAAAAAA HOOOO BANG BANGGGBANGBANG"
Deadpool sprayed the air with bullets until all he could hear was clicks from his guns. As he landed, there was about 15 Dogs left
(Damn Wade, we need to go back to the arcade, you’re getting rusty).
The rest were filled with smoking bullet holes in their bodies, lying on the blood soaked ground. He then threw one of his handguns at a dog as he Sparta kicked him into two others. He threw the other gun to trip another dog that was running at Wade; the dog fell as Deadpool took out his sword.
"IT'S MURDER TIME!!!!!"
He Jumped and stabbed the dog he tripped in the head as he ducked a spear swing from another dog, Wade flipped over the dog and snapped it's neck, He kicked his sword that was in the head of the other dog into another Diamond dog. He used the broken neck dog he was holding as a shield as he ran though to grab his sword, he pushed the dead dog into the rest, not before sticking a grenade onto his back.
BOOM.
Wade turned and saw there were only two dogs left.
"Tell ya what. I am pretty sure you don't want to die, SOOOOO..."
He took out his shotgun and threw it at one of the dogs.
"Either shoot him or yourself...the one left alive I won't kill."
Wade smiled as the dog picked up the gun and aimed it at Wade and fired. Deadpool flew back with a huge hole in his chest.
(Owwwwwww!!! Well that was smart! Why give them gun? WHYYY?)
{I’m actually curious about that too}
The dogs ran over and looked at Wade as he started to heal. They looked at each other as Deadpool sat up, they’d never seen that happen before
"Or you can do that." Wade said as the hole in his chest healed as he punched the dog with his gun in the face and took his shotgun back. No mercy this time, neither of the dogs were given the luxury of living. The guns ripped their bodies to shreds, leaving bloody stains on the trees.
"AGH!!!. How many more battles??" Wade looked up at the huge ass Hydra which appeared suddenly.
“Oh god damnnit ...... All right chums, let’s do this! LEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOY JENKINNNNNNNNS!!!"
Wade pulled out his swords and ran at The Hydra. Teleporting and placing the rest of the Deadpool bombs onto the beast. He teleported to each head, Cutting and placing bomb after bomb. He then teleported off the Hydra as it light up like a Xmas tree.
"HAHHA QQ some more NOOB" Wade said as the Hydra blew up.. He then looked at the reader.
"what?"
(WELLL.. That battle was kinda lame pool.)
[SHUT UP.. I am getting sleepy!]
Deadpool turned to see the Flim Flam brothers with Gilda behind them, With Sweetie and Applebloom in her claws.
"Now then.. We should talk" The brothers said..
[Andddd there we go.. heh.. Enjoy.. And Thanks /mlp/]
( hello readers.. I hope you are still here.. heh Sorry I have been gone. Things came up.. BUT NOW NOVA IS BACK. yay.. A few things before I start. I am going to do a 2nd fanfic . It's kinda of a part 2 of this one.. SOOO after this one.. Prepare for. What if deadpool was in each Episode of My little pony.. BUTTTT Thats for later.. Enjoy the latest chapter)
NAME THAT POKEMON..... IT'S APPLEBLOOM
Now then, we should talk" The brothers stated in an evil way to Wade as bits of hydra showered all around them.
"Really? REALLY? Dudes, I just killed two dragons A BUTT load of dogs and this hydra! You thin-"
" Now now now.” Flim interrupted curtly, not really caring about Deadpool’s hitlist.
“If you would please shut up and let us tell you." Flam joinned in, "UNLESS you want these ponies hurt." Wade looked at Sweetie and Applebloom.
"Hang on. Where’s the other one?" Wade asked.
"Do anything dumb and she will be... gone...heh" Flam chuckled to the dear merc.
"Okay okay. Since this chapter is all about you
{that must have killed you to say that}
(you have no idea)
"Who are you ANYWAY???" Deadpoool muttered, putting his handguns back into his belt.
Music started over head as Flim and Flam started bouncing in place.
"OH GOD NOT ANOTHER SONG!!" Wade wailed. Man this place liked music that had the power to rot your teeth.
"Well well WELL brother of mine, This should be fun. This merc with Ponies about to die and the other can't be found, maybe he's not really aware that there's really no need for this teary despair"
"That the key that he needs to solve the missing pony you and I will share"
"The point to this please?" Wade started to sing along..
(wut..why? )
{I DON'T KNOW WHY ARE WE SINGING!!!!???}
"Well you've got opportunity!"
"He's Flim"
"He's Flam"
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers Killing ponies nonpareil "
" Non-pa what?" Wade sang
(WHAT IS MAKING US SING??)
{This must be some sort of black pony magic!}
"Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see no pony else in this whole place and we will give you the chance to save the filly. And that's the game. Save the pony orrrrrrrrrrr her death."
"More death than you can think in all your days of thinking"
" I doubt that." Wade mumbled, thoroughly annoyed that nobody here seemed to know who he was and he could still not understand why he was singing along
" So take this opportunity to save these little ponies!!"
" He's Flim He's Flam"
"We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers Killing ponies nonpareil" The two brothers raised their hooves in the air as they sang this bit.
Wade shot his gun in the air ending the song
"OLKAYOKAYOKAY OKAY we get it, you’re evil and you kill ponies and the writer can't write songs and the editor is banging her head against a wall SOOOOOOO WE ARE ENDING THIS" Wade yelled as he pointed his shotgun at the two brothers.
Flim and Flam looked at him then started cackling. "MY dear boy, I wouldn’t do that if I were you, You still don't know if the other pony is safe.."
"Play our game and no little pony dies" They both said to the merc.
Wade looked at the tow "If you say lets play Wii fit, I am killing everyone.."
{But but.. we love Mario party 56!!}
"AGH not now mind... Okay fime and flame. What kind of game?" Wade yelled
"If you can solve these riddles we will show you a map to find this other map and ON THAT map. You will have to follow till you find a cave.THEN you have to solve 3 more riddles to get a key to the door of the cave and in that cave is a test. The test will make your eyes bleed but if you pass the test, you will see where she is." The two said.
".....Yeaaaaaaa...........HEY PONIES!" Wade looked at Sweetie and Applebloom. " Nod if you know where they other one is" They both nodded, shaking in fear.
"WELL THEN" Wade aimed his shotgun at Gilda and shot her in the face!!!
[YEA BITCH, THAT'S FOR MAKING FLUTTERSHY CRY]
"....Whoa whoa whoa writer...Chill!!!" Wade said to Nova.
[Sorry. I RAGED SO DAMN HARD AT HER.]
"it’s okay. Who's a good writer?" Wade coo'ed
[... I am] Nova was starting to calm down.
"THATS RIIIGHT. Now, get back to having me be a hero and meet Angelina Jolie...k?"
[Okayyy....wait...what? How about I stick to the damn plot]
“Sooooo.....no love interest?
[No Wade, this isn't a bestiality story]
“Urgh. No fun”
Flim and Flam’s mouths fell open, Looking on as Glida fell with no head.. Their mouths stayed like that at the sight of the merc apparently having an argument with himself. The two small ponies didn’t care that the man was stark raving bonkers, he just killed the bad woman. Without thinking, they ran and hid behind him, waiting for him to remember where he was.
"NOW THEN...” He yelled out after his five minute argument over plot.
“TIMEEE TO DIE EVIL PONIES!! Cute ponies and readers of a nervous disposition, I would look away.......er.......now.”
Warning due to The Pony Writer Act Of 1684 I can not show you the following fight.. I will tell you however that this is the 1st time anyone has used a horn to stab some other pony in the eye. I will also like to say that Applebloom and Sweetie will never look at a cardboard box the same way ever again.. End of message
".. OKAY.. Little pony's" As wade stood with blood and apple bits all over him
" Where is the other cute one..
".. .. .. Up.. in the... tree.." Applebloom said with wide eyes. Deadpool looked up.
"AH.. that was easy. NOW.. go play WHILE I go clean...... Wait.. why did I kill everyone again?" He asked the two ponies
"Discord is bad?" Sweetie slowly said..
"THATTTS RIGHT." Wade wiped off his sword and looked at Ponyvile. "OHHH DISCORD.. I am coming for you"
Discord smiled as he looked at the discored ponys. "And I will be waiting MWHAHAHHAHAA"
[Novablast15 would like to say sorry for not writing. BUT DAMN DEADPOOL IS HARD TO WRITE. JOKE AFTER JOKE AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS STORY! Hell... I didn't think I would get this far...but you don't care about me complaining. YOU ARE HERE FOR DEADPOOL AND PONIES soooo here you g...
"NO. no more writer!!" Deadpool walked in to Nova’s bedroom, chest out and gun poised in one hand...and a taco in the other.
[Wade go back to the story]
"AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT DUN DUN DUNNN CHAPTER. HELLLS to the NO...I am writing now."
[NO WADE. I am writing this]
Wade smiled and shot Nova in the foot, kicking him off the computer
"HA now make me sandwich as I write THE MOST EPIC DEADPOOL STORY EVER!! ENJOY READER ..."
Boss battle time STARING THE AMMZZZZZZING DEADPOOL!!!!!!!!!!!.... you’re not cheering...*points gun at reader*
"Okay now, to write AND be in the story at the same time. Here we go"
The sexy ass Merc who could get any lady EVER was sawgging all over pony place
[SAWGING IS NOT A WORD]
"SHUT IT WRITER" Shoots Nova's other foot, "Now Like I was saying". Wade was chilling like the sawger badass person he was when he stopped..
"UH, Nova?"
[What the hell do you want now??]
"What the crap should I do now?" Wade asked cutely.
[Really...really??? THAT'S IT.]
Nova used his writer powers to take back the story and starts writing like he was going to in the first place!!
[There. Now here is the REAL story]
Boss battle time!!!
Wade ran though on his way to Ponyplace
"Hey mind?" Wade asked out loud in between humming the Mission Impossible theme tune.
(Argh. what now?)
"I can't wait to fight this Discord dude. IT’S GOING TO BE SOOOOO YOLA!!!"
(You mean YOLO?)
"No. I don't work out.” Wade’s face went like this ----> c:
{.... You mean.. yoga?}
(AND HOW THE CRAP DID YOU MAKE A EMOTE IN REAL LIFE????????)
"fuck da police" Wade replied eloquently as she ran though the
"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLY WHOA... SHE?
[Huh?]
“SHE RAN THOUGH THE.... I am NOT a SHE damnnit!!" Deadpool yelled through the screen at Nova, Behind the mask he looked very pissed off.
[blame the editor]
<Don’t blame this on me!! *curled up in fetal position rocking backwards and forwards* So many typos! So many bloody grammatical errors...WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT WHEN YOU WERE WRITING WADE??? I DON’T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS*runs off crying*>
[Ok my bad, just wanted to see if she picked up on it...er...hope she’ll be back, I still have more chapters to do]
Wade pulled out a gun and shot through the screen at Nova for wasting time.
"Well FINE. Though if I was a she I WOULD be damn sexy!!! MHMMMMMMMMMM" Wade licked his finger and slapped his tight behind "Ohhhhhh yea"
"OH for God’s sake. You’re worst than that pink one!" Discord appeared before the Merc, arms crossed.
"Hi" Wade waved cheerfully at the thing floating in front of him.
"Say, do you know where I can find this, and I quote". "Evil ugly big ugly fat ugly Discord who I will kill without trying" And end quote. Do you know who that is mister?" Wade asked Discord, grinning inanely.
"You're the one who killed my army.” The baddie paused for a second, he could have attempted to kill the merc, he could have flown away. Instead, he threw his head back gleefully
“Mwahaha I like you!" Discord laughed with a cheeky smile.
(Is he coming on to us?)
{I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.. I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN US???}
"Are you done talking to yourself? I do find it quite cute" Discord floated above the sexy merc.
(NOVA... STOP CALLING US SEXY AND HAVING THIS DUDE COME ON TO US)
[It's for the girl readers.. So they can make fan art.. :D]
(..... I am SOOO going to stab you)
"Yeah” Wade said muttered mindedly, still arguing with his writer when it clicked.
“Wait, how did you? Motherfucking Hell, YOU CAN READ MINDS??" Deadpool roared, pointing his finger at the dude he still didn't know.
"No. There are text boxes above your head. One in white and one in yellow.” He grinned, highly amused “I have to say, I like your style!!"
Wade looked up and smiled then jumped up and grabbed one of the boxes then threw it at Discord's face
"HA! NINJA ATTACK, I KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME DISCORD!!" Wade grinned then stopped as the text box went though Discord.
{well that worked out}
"Hahhaaha this should be fun!!" Discord grinned and snapped his fingers, making his evil throne magically materialize before seating himself on it regally.
"I AM SOOOOO CALLING HAX ON THIS... Where is the report button??" Wade looked around.
"My dear boy, the only way to beat me is gone” The last word held in the air, echoing Discord’s smugness and joy “But, for the fun of the game. I shall tell you." Discord smiled as he started, ignoring the ultimate rule in one learns from Austin Power’s...don’t tell your enemy the plan because they will beat you, but for the sake of the story, here’s what Discord said:
"One needs your help dearly She might be late for that party The gem of her heart is near Only a dragon's love will make her appear 20 % is not here or there In the sky will it become clear Eeep goes this one use the power of the sun The trees hold a key For this it needs to be Once the others are found ONLY THEN CAN YOU TURN THIS ALLLLL AROUND"
Discord disappeared with an evil laugh echoing around the road "MAWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
.
.
.
(Wade?)
"shhh"
..(uh)
"I GOT IT"
( you do?)
"I have to watch MLP FIM now... don't I?"
[Yeah, I guess you do. Come on buddy, let’s go]
Nova took Wade out of the story to watch all the episodes of MLP FIM with the editor.
CONTINUE?
10
9
8
7
6
5
*click*
DEADPOOL HAS RE-ENTERED THE GAME
"Okay. Now I can see why Nova likes rarity so much!!
[I REALLY LIKE HER MANE!!]
"Sure you do sport. But Pinkie ... seems like......Me"
Wade looked around as he thought about the things Discord said
"Mhmmm trees.. WAIT APPLEBLOOM IS THE SISTER OF APPLEJACK
AND TREES ARE THE KEY!!
I GET IT" Wade runs back to the Apple farm with a smile.
"ANNDDDDD SPIKE IS NEEDED FOR RARITY
OH MY GOD
did I get smarter!!??!!"
(Wow.. He thought about all this with our help!)
{I'M SO PROUD!!!!! *tears up*}
As Wade's mind went on about how to solve all the things Discord said he came to the tree house. "HEY Tiny ponies!! Imma need your tiny cute help!!"
Sweetie popped her head out.
"SURE THING MISTER!!"
Wade turned to the reader.
"The game is getting started!"
To be CONTINUED
[MOWR CHAPTERS TO COME Thanks to My editor for coming back ~Nova
[There was talk.. Talk that the new chapter of Deadpool meets Equestria was lost and forgotten.. Never to be ended. The writer known as Novablast15 was thought Dead.. or kidnaped or killed by his editor with a chainsaw. But it was none of these things.. Nova was on a journey, of self-discovery and love. He grew as a man and a person..
But really all what happened was he lost internet for like 4 months
Anyways.
he is back!.
WITH MORE DEADPOOL!!!!
Hello everyone. It has been a longgggg time but it is time.. TO GET THIS DONE! HERE WE GO!.]
Previously On Deadpool Meets Equestria.
"My dear boy, the only way to beat me is gone” The last word held in the air, echoing Discord’s smugness and joy “But, for the fun of the game. I shall tell you." Discord smiled as he started, ignoring the ultimate rule in one learns from Austin Power’s...don’t tell your enemy the plan because they will beat you, but for the sake of the story, here’s what Discord said:
"One needs your help dearly She might be late for the party The gem of her heart is near Only a dragon's love will make her appear 20 % is not here or there In the sky will it become clear Eeep goes this one use the power of the sun The trees hold a key For this it needs to be Once the others are found ONLY THEN CAN YOU TURN THIS ALLLLL AROUND"
As Wade's mind went on about how to solve all the things Discord said he came to the tree house. "HEY Tiny ponies!! Imma need your tiny cute help!!"
Sweetie popped her head out.
"SURE THING MISTER!!"
Wade turned to the writer.
"The game is getting started!"
And now.. For the next chapter in this story.
AND we are back!
"My little Deadpool, MY little Deadpool.. OHH OHHH OHHHHHH" " I used to wonder what tacos could beeeee. Until I shot a Mexican in the seaa"
Sweetie walked beside her friends, in front of them Wade was skipping and singing.
"Uh... Should we stop him?" Sweetie whispered to the girls, Applebloom looked on with slight horror and wonder, While Scootaloo was starting to look up to this odd thing, He saved them too many times.
"Naw, I don't see why not" Scootaloo said still looking at this Deadpool.
"BIG MURDER TONS OF MURDER A BEAUTIFUL MURDER FATEFUL AND MURDER SHARING MURDER
It's a easy feat and guns make it all complete!!!
MY LITTLE DEADPOOL~~~ Wade brought his arms out and yelled the last part.. He stood there like he was waiting for something..
The three ponies stopped and stared at him just standing,
"clap" Wade said with a low voice, Sounding like he was trying to hide that he said it.
"Huh?" Applebloom turned her head.
"Clap for me" He said again, Now a bit louder.
"Whats a... clap?" Sweetie said with a wondering smile.
(THEY ARE PONYS WADE.. THEY HAVE HOOFS)
"Oh......" Wade stood there for what seemed like an hour as he said.
"Stomp, then"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each-other and started to stomp their hoofs on the ground.
Wade bowed and turned " Thank you,, thank you.. You are TOOO kind!"
The ponies looked at him and sort of laughed,
"So what are we doing mister?" Sweetie bell asked the man.
Wade looked down and moved to them, he got on one knee and petted her mane.
"We.... We are going to Rustle Discords Jimmies, We are going to Rustle them good." He brought her into a hug and smiled.
The other two just looked on, "What the heck is he talking about?" Scootaloo leaned over to Applebloom and wondered.
"Who ever knows" Discord said behind them.
"YOU!!!!! " Deadpool sprang up and leaped at him,, For.. some reason..
Discord stopped him in mid air and smiled.
"NOW now now.. is that any way to treat a good friend Wade?" Discord flew above them, laughing to himself.
"OKAY.. One,.. I am not your friend bro! AND two..HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME AND THREE... Your shoelace is untied."
Wade smiled behind the mask as he turned to the scared ponies and said..
"Basically..run"
Discord looked down as Wade said his shoelace was untied then felt like a fool.
"Oh... Oh you" He looked up and saw the Crusaders trotting away and then glared at Wade. Discord was going to speak when Wade cut him off.
"HA.. GOT YA, Now.. look up Bro."
Wade smiled even more as Discord looked up and saw little balls with a picture Deadpool's mask on them, falling down on to him.
Discord looked at the balls oddly as they fell. "Is this some sort of jok-" BOOM.
The Deadpool bombs blew as Deadpool turned to the reader.
"I'm back baby!"
(YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
{He didn't put on any sunglasses!!}
(... Thanks for ruining the epic moment. ... ass)
Wade teleported away,before Discord could do anything, to where the Cutie Mark Crusaders were running.
"MISS ME??" Wade yelled as he ran with them.
MEANWHILE
Discord floated there.. With a sort of frown. His face black with smoke.
"Well.. I guess you got me that time my insane friend." Discord said with a bit of anger, a small note flouted in front of Discord
He grabbed it and read.
I'M not your friend anddd Gotca bro!
Discord crushed the note and ported away.
BACK AT THE LEGION OF DO.. I MEAN DEADPOOL PLACE
"And thats the plan!!!" Wade said to the three ponies..
"..Wait.....what? All you said was "meanwhile at the legion of do, I mean deadpool place".. then you paused and said "and thats the plan!"." Sweetie asked Deadpool who was clearly insane.. well we did know that but still..... he is insane people.
"... It was a Jumpcut.. I guess you can't do Jumpcuts in writing.... DAMN, CURSE YOU RAY!!" Wade yelled at the sky again.. He did that alot.
"NO really.. what is the plan!" Applebloom butted in.
"Oh.. plan.. Yes..
We have to find spike and then do something and get ponies back so we can kill Discord and things"
(Most.... amazing... plan.... EVER!)
The ponies just stood there.... staring at him with a dumbfounded look on their faces .
Wade just went.. "What? Want me to go over the plan again?"
Right then it went dark.. and laughter was heard.
MAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
But It wasn't Discord.
"OH NOW WHO DO I ALSO NEED TO KILL?" Wade yelled.
The voice boomed over the town..
"THE NIGHT.. SHALL FALL..!!!"
"If Moon knight is here too I am just done.. GG man."
"n-n-no.. I'ts..... Nightmare..... Moon" The ponies said
