> Sometimes I Wonder > by Glimglam > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > "Sometimes..." > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “You know...” “Yeah?” A shrug. A sigh. “Sometimes, I wonder...” “About what?” The filly frowned, unsure of whether or not to speak further. Her unicorn friend made a quick gesture with her free hoof, urging her to continue. Biting her lip, she continued, “What if we don’t actually exist?” “What?” Her friend balked at the question. She had never heard her say such things before, and the sudden shift of mood was jarring. “Of course we exist, silly! We’re both sitting right here, aren’t we?” Scootaloo shook her head. “Not what I meant, Sweetie Belle,” she explained. “We know that we’re here. But, are we really? Are we actually living life?” “Why in Equestria are you wondering about that?” Another sigh. This time, laced with a hint of disgust. “Just curious, is all.” Sweetie Belle wasn’t fooled. She could see the dishonesty in her eyes, and knew that something was bothering her friend. “Scootaloo...” She hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Your parents got in a fight again, didn’t they.” The orange filly’s suddenly-pained expression gave away what she knew well before it was spoken. “...Yeah.” “Scoot... Was it bad, this time?” “Kind of.” “Did they...” She swallowed. “...yell?” A gentle nod. “Loudly, yeah.” Scootaloo was surprised to feel her friend wrap her forelegs around her in a hug. She fought back the urge to groan with distaste, and settled for an irritated eye-roll. Even so, it was oddly comforting, in a way. Not as much as being hugged by, say, Rainbow Dash of course... After a moment, Sweetie Belle finally pulled away from her. A sad smile was on her face. “Scoot,” the unicorn filly began, “you don’t have to be all quiet about it. Me and Apple Bloom can always help you feel better if you—” “I-It’s fine,” Scootaloo interrupted, waving a dismissive hoof. “I’m fine. Everything’s... fine. Just fine.” Her friend only stared at her for a moment. “So, you’re fine.” “Couldn’t be any finer. Perfectly...” A pause, her mouth hanging open as she tried to find her voice again. “...fine.” Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I don’t think ‘fine’ means what you think it means, Scootaloo.” Taken aback, the orange filly retorted with, “Oh yeah, what does it mean then, Ms. Dictionary?” The unicorn pouted at being called such a thing yet again, but decided to let it go. “Never mind...” Silence reigned between them for a short while, accented only by the sounds of the bustling center of Ponyville in the distance. Scootaloo idly kicked at a rock by her hoof, and sighed. “Is there really a point to everything, Sweetie?” said the pegasus suddenly, looking away from her—towards the horizon—with stern resolution. “Why are we here? Is there something we’re supposed to do? Were we tied down by some stupid destiny since we were born? What kind of...?” Scootaloo angled her head to the ground, shutting her eyelids tightly as she put a hoof to her head. “Agh... Stupid brain, making me think about stuff... It’s giving me a headache...” Perplexed by her fellow crusader’s oddly introspective thoughts, Sweetie Belle tilted her head and merely suggested, “Then don’t think about it.” “...What?” Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie, confused. “What do you mean, “don’t think about it?” Am I supposed to ignore this?” The unicorn filly shook her head. “No, not really. I guess what I mean is, don’t overthink it,” she clarified. “It’s no use trying to think so hard about something you don’t know anyway.” “But isn’t that the point? Thinking really hard about stuff is how ponies answer questions, isn’t it?” “Why do ponies ask those questions, though? They don’t seem very fun to think about. Just really boring, depressing, and stuff.” Scootaloo grimaced. “Still, somepony’s gotta answer that stuff...” “But why?” insisted Sweetie Belle. “Why answer it? It can’t be answered. Things happen for reasons and stuff, yeah, but there aren’t any reasons for those reasons. There’s no weird mystery and junk in that.” Staring off to the side, the pegasus muttered, “Hmph, coulda fooled me.” Sweetie Belle sighed. “Scootaloo, sometimes we don’t need to answer stuff,” she explained. “What if we did answer it? Then what? It won’t make us happy or anything. There’s no point. Just have fun living. Look at Rainbow Dash; she’s having fun being the fastest pony in Equestria! She doesn’t worry about junk like this.” “But...” Scootaloo stopped, and sighed as well. “Yeah. Fine. So, what am I supposed to tell myself? We’re here because we’re here? Stuff happens because it happens? That’s all?” “Uh-huh.” The two stared at one another for a time. Eventually, Scootaloo broke the silence with a weak laugh. “I don’t get it, Sweetie.” “Get what?” “You. Me. Everypony. The world. All that. It seems...” The orange filly waved a hoof in the air, as if trying to describe something that words could not. “...strange. Like we shouldn’t even be here, but we’re here anyway. Sometimes, I—” “Hey! Scoot! Sweetie!” an accented drawl in the distance called out to them. It was Apple Bloom, running up to the pair of fillies with a tiny pair of saddlebags slung over her back. They appeared to be weighed down with assorted tools, string, and glue; items of obvious use for the Crusader’s next scheme. “What were y’all talking about over here?” she asked innocently, readjusting her saddlebags so they rested more comfortably. “Sounds like you two were really chatting it up. Did I miss anything?” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exchanged a look. Some unspoken agreement came to them both simultaneously, and they turned back to Apple Bloom and shook their heads. “Nah, nothin’ really.” “Nope.” Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, I got the stuff! You girls ready for some blanket-makin’?” Both fillies nodded, and grinned ear to ear. In no time at all, the Cutie Mark Crusaders together ran off towards their next hair-brained misadventure. Along the way, Scootaloo glanced toward her fellow crusaders. Apple Bloom, blissfully ecstatic at the prospect of potentially getting her cutie mark. Sweetie Belle, happy that she was getting to spend time with her best friends, and doing what she loved to do. And then, there was herself. Being with my friends. Trying to find our cutie marks. Living our lives... Scootaloo smiled. Yeah, that’s always fun. I can live with that. She looked up into the sky, gazing at the clouds above as she ran with her friends. Comfy, from what she was told. Way up in the sky. High, and free. Where she hoped to be someday. Free of doubts, and of concerns. Of mysteries. Of limitations. Of questions. That was life. “Sometimes, I wonder..."