> Memorioums of a Mad Pony > by Cromegas_Flare > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Memorioums > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMORIOUMS I was not always like this: Bleak, gray, sad, and miserable. There once was a time where I was happy, where all my dreams came true, but now... I'm alone with only me to entertain. My hooves are now gone, only wooden planks are left. It’s interesting really how I got here and came to me. I look at you in the Mirror and see what I used to be, then what I am not. It’s sad really that you're all I can talk too, others don't seem to try. You know what I hear whenever I go to bed? I hear a heartbeat, my heart beat! Only I don't just hear it, I can feel it! The push and pull as it keeps me alive, living just to be awake all through the night. Not even that shadow will let me sleep, their beady read eyes staring into my soul waiting for me to rest. Oh... that must be why I can feel my heart, I must have been scared. Scared of What? All well I can't remember any way, even if I did, I would never tell me. Well I would tell you but then I would be telling me because you are me. You feel what I feel, eat what I eat, and taste what I taste. Why, you even laugh when I laugh. Wait... when was the last time I laughed? Last year? No too soon. Yesterday? Maybe, Ya maybe I laughed yesterday! Then I could laugh today! Oh... no I can't I'm here, so logically you are here too. Too bad I really needed to laugh, its been to long since I laughed. You want to know why? Of course you don't want to know why! I don't want to know why so why would you want to know why! Well bad news for you! I'm going to tell me anyway! A few years ago, I don't know how long ago exactly, maybe six months? Ya, about six measly months! No wait that was when this came real... ya it started a year ago, that's it a year ago. So a few years ago my life was perfect, that is until last year. I was still young, still am now, but then I was younger. I had to leave home to figure out how real life was. My mommy gave me a hug when I left. I can still feel her loving hooves around me. No...Wait those are my hooves. So any way I left home: went to sell, buy, eat, sleep, love play cry, and laugh. NO! I never laugh, I can't laugh if i laugh then I'm dead, but it would feel good. Maybe it’s worth it to laugh even if it kills me. No I'm already dead so I could not laugh even if i tried. When I was out selling, something snapped in my pony brain. I found out my great gift, you want to know that gift do you? well I do, So I think you do too. That gift was pure hate towards pony folk, at least that is what the shadows tell me, the light over there tells me that my gift is that I love all pony folk though. HAhahaha. Folk is such a funny word, of all words... Oh no! I laughed, what am I going to do now, I laughed! I laughed? Not only that I'm still alive? Well who would of thunk? So there I was selling and I loved every one so much that I hated the stupidity! Imagine that, I of all people hating stupidity. THAT WORD IN OF IT SELF IS MY MIDDLE NAME! Yet I can see through walls so it does not surprise you really. You know I'm tired of calling You, Me and Me, you so I'm going to say us. How does that sound to us? Good? Good. So back to the story, I was walking down a street and we came accrossed a young mare. Yes we were there too remember? So anyway, that mare smiled at us and oh all I can say we were so happy. A mare actually smiled at us, even if we weren't sails pony's no pony smiled at us, except for that mare. A fair intelligent unicorn, what was her coat color? Purple? No. Lavender? Yes! Thank you, lavender is such a pretty color, though we only think we believe that because of her. So us and the mare talked, not about selling, but about each other. We told her our name, and she told us hers. What was her name? I can't seem to remember... Night Light? Twi-Spring? No those are not it, but let’s just say she sparkled. Just like our teeth our... wait no they’re not. We forgot to brush, sad day. We know? Our days have been sad for a while, and It's getting old. We did laugh today so that is something to be happy about. Now to where things went really wrong. After we met her, we never saw her again because we had to leave Ponyville, and head back to Phillydelphia. Back home to where we were happy, but not anymore. After meeting her, there is no happiness in us. Well maybe you because you are not me exactly are you? Well you are but you aren't, my mom told me that mirrors link to other worlds. Well let’s just say that I can see the shadows behind you. Yes that shadows, the ones that haunt our dreams, that kill every bit of joy we had hoped for. I'm telling you that they are behind you, because you should at least know. It's OK, even if you tried you could not run away from them. They are always there, waiting to eat you. Yet that crystal armor, yes the one from my world, will protect you. No need to thank me, I am you after all... No who am I kidding, I'm no one. "If I'm no one, then why does the light tell me that I am some one?" I thought to the Mirror. It's not like I'm special, I'm not the only one that get chased by the voices. The ones that you can hear, but can’t hear what you are saying. The very voices that cause a ringing in your ear. Have you ever had a random ringing in your ears? Well that is the Voices trying to talk to you. Just don't listen to them OK. If you do, then you will see them, and if you see them you become like me! Oh...ya right, you are already me. HOW COULD I FORGET! her name is Twilight, and oh was she so nice! Such a young mare who was so nice. I say was because it's in the past. If I see her in the future then it will be 'is'. OK so it’s time to take my medication, I really do feel numb after taking this though, like really look behind me those dark shadows turn invisible for a bit after I take the pills. Only for a bit though, I would say that I could still feel them there, but then again, I can't feel after I take them so her it goes. You know we look weird when we drink water, or anything for that matter. Yet here we are talking to me like your somepony, No that's not what I meant, talking to you like I'm somepony, yes there we go. So I came back home from selling, and selling... and selling...and selling... and selling... and selling. OK we'll stop now, if it makes us happy. So I came home, feeling a little more sad. I literally felt like I had nothing worth living for, but my parents still said that they loved me so I went to a room where they wanted me to go, my mom went with me. After sitting for about 15 short minutes that felt like forever, a stallion came out and asked me to follow him, so I followed him. That was the first time I saw the shadows, the creepy floating bullies that have never stopped fallowing me, telling me to kill and cheat and hurt and cut! I never listened of course, It just felt wrong. Ya, I felt back then. Like I said I was not always like this, I even smiled time to time. As I sat down with the stallion I found out that his name was Dr. Cranium. I must say, What an unusual name. Yet he smiled at me, looked like a banana with angry eyes if you ask me. He asked for my name so I told him, the shadows told me to say something ells but I just ignored them, they did not like that so they promised to fallow me for the rest of my life. At first I did not care, but now I still don't. Hey look at that! The shadows behind you are starting to fade, must be the medication. So as I spoke to the Doctor I kept looking at his eyes, the more I looked, the more they turned black. It was like looking into shiny coal. I blinked, and they turned back to normal. So I stared some more, and they turned into shiny coal again. It was weird, after a while it happened to whoever I looked at. It was weird at first, and then It was scary! Weird things started happening, I saw thing, I heard things and people transformed! The only one who did not was you, you are my only friend. Oh, look the Shadows are gone, and my head is tingling, I can hear other things then whispers, I can't feel my heart anymore! Well I have to thank you friend, you help me get through the hard times, but even now I really don't care. My stomach hurts, so I think I'll go get some food. Good bye, friend. I would say that I will never forget you, but I will.