Chapter 1
It was late at night. Twilight made sure Spike was asleep. She didn't know how she kept this from her friends for so long. In fact, she was surprised that she was even able to keep it from Spike, that nosy little bastard. She slowly crept over to the dresser by her bed, opened the top drawer, and carefully dug through all the socks, after all, a messy sock drawer would raise suspicion. After a minute of searching, she found it. She then took it out and closed the drawer. In her hooves was the only thing that had ever made her feel so good. The small, pink device, which had "KAT: 4 YEArS OlD" written on it in marker. Twilight could not help herself, it had been so long since she last used it. she stuck the device's round end into her mouth and began to gently push it back and forth. The unicorn shuddered as her body was overcome with pleasure. The pleasure seemed so much more intense on this night than it had ever been. She couldn't help herself and she moaned loudly.
Little did she know, Spike had gotten up in the night to get a drink of water, and when he heard a muffled noise coming from upstairs, he immediately thought the worse. Worried for his friend. . . with benefits. . . as in being able to grow a mustache, get your mind out of the gutter people., Spike quickly rushed to the closest friend in town, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie was getting ready to close the shop for the night, when she spotted Spike running towards Sugarcube Corner. "Heya Spike! How's it going?!" she chirped in her abnormally bubbly tone. Spike yelled out "I THINK TWILIGHT'S IN TROUBLE AND WE NEED TO GET EVERYONE TO HELP HER RIGHT AWAY!" Without batting an eye, Pinkie responded with an "Okey dokey, lokey!" Pinkie then tore a hole in the fourth wall and accidentally this sentence. Then, she pulled out Rarity, Rainbowdash, Applejack, and Fluttershy, who has hugging a stuffed tree. The strange sight, though, was Dash in a submissive position, with her eyes shut. "Hey, Spitfire, why'd you stop?" she asked. Then she opened her eyes, and seeing she was at surgarcube corner and not her house in cloudsdale, blushed furiously.
"Sorry Dashie! I didn't mean to interrupt anything." Pinkie chimed. Dash responded, "Oh, don't worry about it, we were only 8 seconds in, I'm usually done in 10 seconds flat," then, realizing what she just admitted to, she blushed about 20% harder. Applejack chuckled and said "I guess y'all really are the fastest in Equestria." Dash's entire head was now redder than a freshly caught lobster from Mane(equine puns are cheap, get over it) as she yelled, "Sh-shut up! Don't judge me! At least I don't have sex with my family!"
"Consarn it, Dash, that was one time, one time!! And it's hard ta say no to Big Mac! I mean, there's a reason he's called 'Big Mac,' ya know?"
Spike was stunned at the scene. Still, it only lasted a few seconds, and that was enough time for him to recover, after all, he had gotten used to Pinkie's random crap after a while. "Guys! Twilight's in trouble, we need to hurry!" he shouted.
So they hurried to twilight's tree/house/library/brothel/science lab. They heard a noise the moment they entered. "It's coming from upstairs!" They all rushed, and what they saw surprised them.
Twilight had moved on and started pushing the device back and forth through another location. Her ecstasy was so overwhelming at this point, she didn't realize that her horn was glowing. the glow grew larger, and larger, and larger, until suddenly- BOOM!
The sudden loud noise had startled Twilight enough that she stopped what she was doing, saw all her friends in the room, and blushed furiously. She was about to say "I can explain!" when she noticed her friends weren't looking at her, they were looking at the device on the floor, which had started glowing. "Oh no!" Twilight muttered, as a large funnel of magical energy grew from the USB part of the device and swallowed up the six ponies, leaving Spike all alone in the library, which he took advantage of and turned down the lights, grabbed his life size Rarity plushie, sat with it on the couch, made some popcorn, and watched a movie, promtly after which, he planned to have intercourse with the Rarity plushie he had with him.
meanwhile, the device suddenly disappeared from the face of Equestria, and inside it, were the 6 ponies who we return to.
"What is this place?" Twilight asked.
"well wherever it is, the place is tacky." Rarity chimed in.
Pinkie bounced over to a strange floating object that looked like two pieces of paper stuck together. "ooooh!" she said, as she touched it. upon interacting with her hoof, a second Pinkie materialized next to the object. "Hey! You look just like me!""well of course, I'm a copy of you!""So, kinda like a clone?""yuppety yup-yup yup!""Do you know what this calls for?" and then they both shouted in unison, "A PARTY!"
Twilight touched an object that looked like a sheet of paper being cut by scissors and the Pinkie clone vanished. "Aww, I was just about to throw a party!""Pinkie, this is no time for parties! We don't even know where we are!"
Then a 4-year old Kat put the flash drive into her computer and Twilight and friends were all desktop ponies.
And then Scootaloo was a penguin.with waterwings, and then suddenly Luna wearing socks.
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author's note: before anypony says "wait what?" I just want you all to know, I don't even either.
This story was written at 4:00A.M after I had gone 72 hours without sleep. I saw a post on Equestria Daily and decided to create this to spite Sethisto, one of the blog mods over there. This story was featured on Equestria Daily in one of their nightly round-ups, which got me quite a few views. honestly, I'm just surprised that in my sleep-deprived stupor, I was able to create something that was coherent. well, that's it. see ya in another story. . .
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are you still reading this?
wow, seriously?
okay, that's it, I'm out of here.
. . . persistent little bugger aren't you?
I bet you're waiting for some special prize for reading the author's notes.
well there's nothing.
too bad.
so sad.
man, sucks to be you.
all that reading for nothing.
*paraspriteface*