> Discord's Solitude > by Listener > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Memories and Regrets > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Time has lost all meaning. Without touch. Without seeing. Without Hearing. There is no point to time. But that doesn’t stop it from getting to me. I can no longer remember what I was called. All I know is that I was imprisoned in stone. A statue. After so long, I think death would have been kinder. It was chaos that led me to my current position. Chaos. I think. Everything is fuzzy. My memory is all I have left. My sanity. And even that is leaving, locked in a permanent solitude. It is just my mind that I have to occupy myself. But I fear that it too is leaving. I can’t remember events I know I should. I remember things that aren’t possible. It all comes back to chaos. There is a memory that I cling to. It is one of a mare. A white mare. She doesn’t understand. She fears it. She fears chaos. She doesn’t see what it really is. It is balance. It is the natural commonplace between right and wrong. Good and evil. Light and dark. I would’ve laughed, if I could. She herself was light, and her sister was dark. She should know. But she doesn’t. She blames me. For the chaos. It wasn’t me. I am simply a catalyst for it. I cannot control something by definition cannot be controlled! But it was my fault, in her eyes. She imprisoned me. For which I cannot fault her. For I am different. A danger. That is why I’m here. Right? --- The memories are getting harder and harder to tell apart. The true memories. The false ones. It scares me. Celestia and her sister. They used order to seal me away. Order embodied as medallions and a tiara. I have no idea why I was simply turned to stone. But my mind turns to one answer. The one answer that everything must turn to, turn into, over time. Chaos. Order can’t hold chaos. Chaos is order, altered. Chaos was order. A long time ago. Time. A concept that has no meaning. Anymore. --- How much time has passed outside my prison? What has changed? Celestia, your progress is just hidden chaos. The good kind. Chaos hidden by order. To have order, you must have chaos. To evolve, you must take chaos as it is. Progress. I hope that events have not stalled outside of my stone shell. In order for this world to survive, chaos must live. But I fear that this is not the case. Celestia. Please. See reason. --- Something has changed. The balanced is shifted. What has happened? The dark, the evil. It is winning. I cannot tell why. Perhaps she has kept the chaos hidden for too long, and it has overflown the dam. ---- Now the light, the good, it has won. The evil is still there, but... farther. I do not know why I know. I just do. --- She doesn’t understand! Chaos isn’t evil! Chaos isn’t good! It is neutral! It is order! It is nothing! It is in between! It is everything! Everything is at it’s core chaotic. Can you predict the wind? Can you predict a pony’s heart? Can you predict life itself, and its end? Can you predict death? Can you! Can you predict anything with any certainty!? All you have is illusions! Lies! A fabrication that has come from fear of something that doesn’t need to be feared. You can predict nothing, but you can use something for good! You fear it because of it’s ability for evil. A pony is just as capable of evil! That is chaos! A pony may save a life while sacrificing his own! That is chaos! A bystander my do nothing! Chaos! You could not predict those actions! You cannot! You cannot, and to believe so is to bring about the very chaos you choose to ignore! You! The mare I cannot remember, but know so well! Please! Understand! Understand this! Please! --- I... I cannot remember. Who am I? What am I? Where am I? I have been here a long time. I think. I... I do not know. Please. Help me. --- She has trapped me here, alone for far too long! She is meddling with things she cannot hope to understand! Who are you!? Why don’t I remember!? Why can’t I remember!? --- I remember what I need to forget. I forget what I need to remember. How long? How long since I have had true control over my mind? Did I ever have control over it? --- You. The pony I cannot remember. I know you. I see you. You are shrouded in smoke. Your... sister? She is shrouded in dark. No! I do not wish to remember! But I must. I try to plead with you. You do not listen. The... elements? They are lighting up. I look at you and your sister. She has a look of anger. But you... You look sad, but compelled. It is as it must be. As it always must be. ... No. You could have listened! You could have tried to understand! --- Do I even exist. Do you? Am I just a figment of some sleeping god’s dreams? Are you? I cannot even remember your name. I can barely remember what happened. You imprisoned me. Why? I remember... You didn’t believe me! You were my friend! I see this now! I have known this for far too long! I just did not believe! Celestia! That is your name! My executioner! My condemner! My.... Friend. I am sorry Celestia. I am no longer myself. I have become what you have feared. Discord. --- I hear her gasps, this ... Twilight Sparkle. She is different. I hope that... that she can explain to Celestia. Why. Why I have done this. Why it must be done. Chaos has been controlled for too long. I wanted, no, needed to balance it out. But rather than let chaos destroy this land I used to call home, I just unleashed it all at once. But I knew it wouldn’t last. I let it end. I let her and her friends seal me in stone again. But only after I have explained it to her. To explain to... Celestia. --- It isn’t so bad, here in stone. Maybe now... she will understand. --- I remember that memory now. It is so clear. I can see you Celestia. I can see Luna too. She is angry. I have threatened her subjects. But you... You are crying. For me. Celestia. Please. Understand. And forgive me. And yourself.