You'd expect that having Discord as your neighbor would be a pain, and you're right.
This story takes place in a continuity where the human and pony worlds have been in contact for three years. Our main character is Eric, a human who lives in Canterlot as an aspiring writer. He's relatively new to the pony world, and he loves everything about it.
Well... almost everything.
There's one thing that never fails to get under Eric's skin: his next-door neighbor, and our second main character, Discord. The guy constantly comes into his house uninvited, eats all the food, and, well, causes chaos! His venting about his never-ending on-and-off relationship with Celestia doesn't make things any better, either. Eric and Discord have lived next to each other for a year now, and the two still maintain a complicated frenemy relationship.
To add to Eric's complications is his crush on Azure Gem, a mare that works across the street from the bookstore where he works. His goal of getting her to like him is second only to his worry that Discord will screw everything up.
This story contains anthro ponies and modern technology since the humans and ponies have been in contact for a while. I won't go all-out though. Ponies still write letters from time to time, and they won't be driving cars everywhere.
Oh, and enjoy!
Cover art drawn by me. The background is a stock vector.
“Here we are, sir. 23 Equis Street,” said the taxi driver. “Would you like any help with your bags?”
“Nah, I don’t have that many bags,” said the passenger, “Thanks for the offer, though.” He reached into his pocket and handed the driver a few bits as a tip.
“Thank you, sir,” the pony said graciously. “I hope you enjoy living here in Canterlot.”
“Thanks. I hope so, too,” said the passenger as he stepped out of the taxi carriage with his luggage in tow. He looked around the city as the taxi pulled away, and he immediately noticed the amount of ponies there were. Even though it’s been three years since the ponies made contact with humans, Canterlot maintained a high pony-to-human ratio. The main reason why he noticed this so quickly was that he was a human himself.
“Okay, Eric,” he said to himself. He ran a hand through his black hair and took a deep breath. “You may be in a different city, in a different country, on a different world, but that doesn’t mean that you should be nervous.”
“That’s a good attitude to have,” said someone from behind him.
Eric quickly turned around, but then he smiled at the pony that was standing behind him. “Luna! You’re here!”
“Like I said I would be,” she reminded. “Besides, I was the one who helped you get this house.”
“Well, I just want to thank you again for that, Luna,” said Eric as he recalled the day he met Princess Luna in his hometown in the human world while she was on vacation. “It was really generous of you to arrange this for me.”
“Well, when you told me how interested in Equestria you were, I figured you’d like to live in our capital city,” said the princess. “I’ll leave you to settle into your new home. I’m sure you’ll want to break it out.”
“You mean break it in?” the human corrected.
“Oh I simply must learn these modern figures of speech,” Luna said, “but there’s just so many, that I can’t keep trail of them.”
“Keep track of them,” he corrected again.
“You know what I meant.”
Eric simply chuckled to himself as Luna handed him the key to the house. “You’re applying for the job at the bookstore tomorrow, correct?” the pony asked.
“Yup,” Eric answered with a smile. “Hopefully everything goes well.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Luna reassured. “I’ll come by tomorrow evening to see how it went.”
“Thanks,” the human said again.
“My pleasure,” the mare smiled. “Goodbye and good luck!”
As Luna walked away, Eric unlocked the door to his new home and walked in, carrying his bags behind him. It was a decent sized, two-story house. The ground floor had a kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom, while the upper floor had two bedrooms and a bathroom. The house also came with a basement that had a small studio area. Eric looked at his bags, and he didn’t have much to take into the house. Then again, when you’re just a twenty-year-old amateur writer, you don’t normally pack heavily.
“Looks better than I expected,” Eric said to himself as he made his way upstairs.
The next morning, at around 9AM, Eric made his way to the bookstore, which was conveniently located less than a mile from his house. He stared at the door, application in hand, and took a deep breath before entering. The second he entered the building, he was amazed by how large it was. It was a single-story building that had a lounge area in the center, with various sections of books surrounding it.
“Well, good morning to ya!” said a pony sitting at a desk to the right of the door. He was a pegasus stallion with a grey coat and a faded red mane. He didn’t look too old; Eric guessed that he was in his mid forties, but with ponies, he couldn’t tell. “Judging from that paper you got there, you must be here to apply for a job,” he said.
“Um, yeah. My name’s Eric. Eric Quincy,” said the nervous human.
“Well, Eric Quincy, my name is Print Stock. It’s nice to see that somepony finally decided to apply for a job. Ever since my last employee left to go to school two months ago, I’ve had to run this place all by myself.” He then looked at Eric for a second. “Say, you’re new here, aren’t ya?”
“Yes…” said Eric.
“I could tell. I’ve lived in Canterlot my whole life, so it’s easy to tell when somepony’s a newcomer,” Print Stock chuckled. “So, how soon can you start?”
Eric’s eyes widened in surprise. He was being offered the job and his application wasn’t even glanced at. He didn’t complain, though. The less complicated things were, the better. “I can start today, if you want,” he said.
“Perfect!” Print Stock exclaimed, and then he looked at Eric again. He took notice of his skinny frame and said “You’re probably a large.” He reached below his desk and pulled a cardboard box out from under it, then he looked through it and found a large T-shirt. “Here’s your uniform, kiddo,” he said as he tossed the shirt to his new employee.
“Thanks, Mr. Stock!” he said gratefully.
“Please, call me Print,” said the stallion. “There’s an employee bathroom in the back where you can change.”
Eric nodded his head and made his way to the bathroom, happy that he got a new job.
A few hours later, Print Stock let Eric go out for his lunch hour. As he walked through Canterlot, he wondered where he should go to eat. The only place in the city he went to was the market so he could get some food for breakfast and dinner. Aside from that, he hasn’t been out much.
“I have to decide something before my lunch hour is up,” he thought.
“Eric! There you are!” said a familiar voice. Eric turned around, and sure enough, Luna was walking towards him, along with a mare that he’d never seen before.
She was a unicorn with a blue coat that was a few shades lighter than Luna’s, a white mane that went down to just above the small of her back, and a long white tail. She was also wearing a pair of white, oval shaped glasses.
“I passed by your house, but you weren’t there,” said Luna. “I was curious as to how your job interview went.”
“I didn’t even get an interview,” the human replied. “I just said that I wanted the job and was hired on the spot.”
“Well, congratulations!” Luna said joyfully, then she looked at her friend and realized that she forgot to introduce her.
“Oh, I’d like you to meet my friend Azure Gem,” she said as the unicorn waved at Eric. “She works at the coffee shop across from the bookstore.”
“Hello,” said Azure.
“Hi,” Eric answered back.
“So, are you free?” asked Luna. “I was hoping that the three of us could get a quick meal and shoot at the wind.”
“Shoot the breeze, you mean?” asked Azure.
“Is that how you say it?”
“Sure, I’ve got time,” Eric said with a smile.
“Glorious! I know the perfect venue,” said the princess, and she led her friends to a nearby diner. “The service here is excellent, and the employees are so pleasant.”
“Don’t you think that’s because you’re a princess, Lulu?” Azure asked sarcastically.
“I suppose,” she answered.
Once the three of them were seated and their meals were ordered, Eric and Azure Gem got better acquainted while they waited for their food.
“So, Luna tells me you’re a writer,” the unicorn said.
“Well, not professionally,” said the human. “I hope to get published one day. I’m just working on my writing in the meantime.”
“You should send some of your stories my way,” she suggested. “I’d love to read some of them.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m not sure if my work is up to snuff.”
“Don’t be modest, Eric,” said Luna. “Your writing is great.”
“If it makes you feel better, I won’t be too harsh on you,” Azure said teasingly.
“Don’t patronize me!” Eric said defensively.
“Someone’s sensitive,” she said with a laugh.
Eric simply huffed at the mare. Even though he was a little annoyed by her taunting, there was something rather cute about it. Was it the way she laughed? Was it the tone she used? Was Eric just a pushover? He was seriously considering that last possibility. Regardless, there was something about Azure Gem that he found, at the very least, interesting.
That evening, Eric was in his basement studio, trying to write a new story, but he kept getting distracted by the recollection of everything that happened over the last few days. He moved to a new place, made friends with a princess, got a job, and met an interesting mare as well. Maybe adjusting to life in Equestria won’t be as hard as he predicted?
Two months go by, and Eric was still living happily in Canterlot. On his way home from work, he received a call from Luna.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hello, Eric. Work was good, I hope,” she said.
“Actually, it was great!” he said excitedly. “Print promoted me to assistant manager, which means I’m gonna be getting a bigger paycheck.”
“Aren’t you his only employee, though?” the princess asked.
“Well, with September rolling around, Print’s expecting some student employees from the high school here, so he’ll need somepony, or rather, somebody to help keep track of them,” the human explained.
“Well, that makes sense…” said Luna.
“Sorry to change the subject, but have you heard from Azure Gem today?” Eric asked. “I went across the street for a cup of coffee, but she wasn’t there.”
“Oh, she told me that came down with a cold,” Luna said sadly. “She’s been in bed all day.”
“Maybe I should pay here a visit…” Eric wondered out loud.
The princess giggled. “Aww, you want to visit Azzy since she’s feeling sick? That’s so sweet of you, Eric!”
“It’s not like that!” he said defensively. “I’m just concerned. It’s not like I have a crush on her.”
“I never insinuated that you did,” she said. “You just assumed that. Judging from your reaction, though, I’d say that you indeed are crushing Azure.”
“Crushing on Azure,” he instinctively corrected, “and I’m not!”
“You mouth says no,” Luna said, “but your heart says-”
“Hell no,” Eric interrupted.
“I smell denial~,” the princess said in a singsong voice.
“Your sister’s starting to rub off on you, Luna,” he said bluntly.
“Oh, that reminds me,” she said. “I overheard my sister talking to a friend of hers. From what I understand, he’s going to be living in the unoccupied house next to yours.”
Coincidentally, Eric was approaching his house, with the house in question in clear sight. “He? Just who was Celestia talking to?” He asked as he unlocked the door to his house.
Before Luna could answer, though, the phone cut off for some mysterious reason. “Luna? Luna!?” Eric said into the phone, only to receive the incessant beeping sound indicating that the line was dead. “Aw, man. It would’ve been nice to know who my new neighbor is.” Shrugging his shoulders, he opened the door and entered his house, but he was shocked to see the condition that it was in. All his furniture was on the ceiling, his walls and floors were random colors, and to top it off, Eric had no sense of gravity; he was floating in midair!
“What the fuck is going on!?” he yelled to no one in particular. He definitely wasn’t expecting a response.
“Oh, this?” an unknown voice asked. “This is just my way of introducing myself to my new neighbor.” Eric turned around to see who was addressing him, and was taken aback by what he saw.
He couldn’t make heads or tails of what this thing was. It had a equine-ish head with a snake-like body with appendages from various animals: the tail of a dragon, the right leg of a lizard, the left leg of a goat, the right arm of a lion, the left claw of an eagle, mismatched bat and bird wings, and on the top of his head were a deer’s antler and a goat’s horn. He had two big, yellow eyes with red pupils, a black mane that went down his back, white bushy eyebrows and a matching beard, and to top it all off, a snaggletooth. He was also wearing a T-shirt that constantly changed colors every few seconds.
“Who are you? What are you?” Eric asked.
“What I am, is a draconequus,” he answered. “As for who I am, I’m Discord, and I’m your new neighbor.”
“YOU’RE my new neighbor!?” Eric asked in disbelief.
“That’s right,” said Discord. “Aren’t you the lucky one?”
“’Lucky’ isn’t the word I’d use,” the human thought. “But Luna told me that Celestia was talking to a friend of hers about moving next to me. You’re telling me you’re that friend?”
“Friend? Well, that was rude of Tia,” said Discord.
“Rude?”
“Of course! I’m not Celestia’s friend, I’m her boyfriend,” the creature said with a matter-of-fact tone.
Eric’s immediate response was laughter, “Ha! Yeah right! As if Celestia would hook up with some freaky dragon!”
“That’s draconequus,” Discord corrected. “I’d appreciate it if you got my species right.”
“You know what I’d appreciate? You getting my house back to normal and getting out!” Eric demanded.
“Ooh… harsh. That’s not very neighborly of you.”
“Says the freak that broke into my house and rearranged my furniture.”
Discord rubbed his chin in a mock thinking pose and said “Fair enough,” he snapped his fingers and returned Eric’s house back to normal, the sudden change in gravity sending the poor human falling to the ground.
“See you around, neighbor,” the draconequus said as he disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Eric sitting on the floor, wondering what the hell just happened.
“I wonder if it’s too late to move to a different part of Canterlot,” he said to himself.
Eric never did move to a different part of Canterlot, but it definitely wasn’t from lack of trying. In fact, the very next day after Discord moved in, he went searching for a new house. Over the following days, he tried to find a place that was nice, but they all had one thing or another that bothered him.
One house, for example, was too small, even for a man who lived alone.
Another was okay, but it was too far from work. Eric didn’t like taking long commutes.
There was one that didn’t even have a bathroom, and that was an instant turn-off.
There was one place that Eric thought was perfect, but if he wanted to afford it, he’d have to work two jobs for at least five years.
Ultimately, he decided that his only option was to put up with Discord as a neighbor, no matter how much it bothered him. He’d just be one of those annoyances in life that you’d just have to put up with.
Having the embodiment of chaos live next-door to you was no picnic. On the weekdays, whenever Eric came home from work, he’d always find his door unlocked and his house rearranged in some random way, with Discord sitting on a floating couch watching him get frustrated. On the weekends, the draconequus would pop up at random times and just laze around like a certified bum, all while venting about his relationship problems with Celestia and eating food from the fridge.
Discord called it “neighborly bonding”. Eric called it “breaking and entering”.
Whenever Eric went out, either by himself or with Luna and Azure Gem, Discord would always tag along, much to the human’s chagrin. While Luna and Azzy didn’t mind as much, there were still those times where Discord would, to put it nicely, overstay his welcome.
This routine continued over the next year, and while Eric’s gotten used to his neighbor’s antics, he still didn’t like them.
One cloudy Friday morning, Eric found it difficult to wake up, as he did every Friday morning. After getting himself awake and walking downstairs, he went into his kitchen and peered into his fridge, but then he did a double take at what he saw, or rather, what he didn’t see.
“The hell?” he said. “Where are the waffles? I just bought a pack three days ago.” He wondered how he ran out of the breakfast food so quickly, but then he remembered Discord’s visit from yesterday. The guy practically binged on his waffles, and at four in the afternoon, no less. Eric told whim what little sense it made, only for his neighbor to respond with “What’s the fun in making sense?”
“Goddammit, Discord,” the human said under his breath.
“You called,” he heard from behind him.
“AAGH!” Eric yelled, jumping in surprise and bumping his head on the ceiling of the fridge. He hadn’t been surprised by Discord’s presence for a long time, mainly because he never showed up on weekday mornings.
“I know I normally don’t make an appearance this time of day, but I thought I’d mix it up a little,” the draconequus explained. “Showing up in the afternoon every day was starting to get boring, so I decided to do something different.”
“You could always not show up at all, Discord,” Eric sarcastically suggested. “Now there’s something different.”
“It’s also boring,” he argued. “Besides, why wouldn’t I want to visit a friend?”
“Okay, two things:” the human said. “One, we AREN’T friends, and two, you’re not visiting. You’re breaking in.”
“You seem to be getting more and more sarcastic every day, Eric,” Discord remarked.
“Well, I have you to thank for that,” he replied. “Now get out. I have to get ready for work.”
“Why do you have to work? What’s the point?”
“So I can have money to pay bills, buy food, and have an occasional night out.”
“You sound like Celestia.”
“I’m glad I do. Frankly, I don’t see how she puts up with your bullshit half the time. You have no job, you bum around my house, and you totally take her for granted. It’s a wonder why she hasn’t dumped you for good instead of continuing this on-and-off thing with you.”
Discord sighed. “Well, you know those princess types. They never seem to know what they want. Wait, you don’t know, because you don’t have a marefriend.”
“What is this, high school?” Eric asked. “Grow up, Discord.”
“I’m just observing the differences in our love lives,” he said innocently. “I have a marefriend in Celestia, and you have a marefriend in Azure Gem.”
“What’s the difference?” Eric dared to ask.
“The difference is that little space between the words ‘mare’ and ‘friend’. A little space called the friend zone.”
“Piss off,” Eric said dismissively. “Besides, I don’t even like Azure like that.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Eric” his neighbor said teasingly.
“Why are you still here!?” he yelled.
“Alright, alright, I’ll go! Yeesh!” Discord said as he poofed out of Eric’s house, leaving behind a puff of smoke, as always.
“Ass,” Eric said under his breath as he looked back into his fridge to find something to eat. “I guess I can just heat up some leftovers from last night,” he said with a sigh. After his breakfast (if you could call it that), Eric got himself showered and dressed and got on his way to work.
“Morning, Print,” he said to his boss as he entered the bookstore.
“Mornin’ Eric,” said the stallion. “The new student employees are gonna be showing up at around twelve-thirty this afternoon. Most of them are new, so can you show ‘em the ropes for me?”
“No problem,” Eric said with a smile. “I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that school ends at noon here.”
“Oh, and another thing,” said Print Stock.
“Yes?”
“Well, you’ve been working really hard since I hired you over a year ago, and I think you deserve some compensation for it,” the pegasus said as he looked under his desk for something. “Now where is- Ah! Here it is!” Print Stock emerged from under the desk holding a shirt, one that looked very similar to the one Eric was already wearing.
“For your trouble,” he said as he tossed the shirt to Eric. When he caught it, he noticed some words printed on the upper left-hand side.
“Assistant Manager?” he read with curiosity.
“Congrats, Eric!” said Print cheerfully. “You’ve been promoted! And that comes with a raise, too!”
“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “Thanks, boss!”
“Don’t thank me, kid. Thank yourself. You earned it,” the stallion said as he smiled at his employee.
Eric went to the bathroom and quickly changed into his new shirt, and despite the fact that the only difference between the two shirts was what was printed on the front, he felt like a new man.
Later that day, Eric decided to leave for lunch at eleven instead of twelve since he was going to be needed at the store at twelve thirty. As per his usual routine, he walked across the street to the coffee shop where Azure Gem worked.
“Hey, Eric!” she said as he walked in. “You’re here early.”
“Well, I decided to take an early lunch, Az,” he replied. “Is that an option for you?”
“One second,” she said as she went into the back to talk to her boss, only to come back a minute later and say “Alright, let’s get going.”
Eric and Azure went to their usual lunch spot, and proceeded to chat while they waited for their usual meals. “I’ve noticed that you’re much more chipper today,” she said. “Did Discord finally move away, or something?”
“While there’s nothing in the world that would make me happier, it’s not that,” he answered. “I got promoted to assistant manager at my job.”
“Well, congrats. Does that comes with a raise?”
“You know it! I’ll be stacking paper to the ceiling now!”
“Okay, let’s get back down to Earth, Eric,” said Azure. “You’re an assistant manager at a local bookstore, not the CEO of a business firm.”
“Still,” he said. “More money in my pocket is always a good thing, Azzy.”
“Well, you can’t argue with that logic,” she said. “We should go out and celebrate. You, me, and Luna. Maybe this Saturday?”
“Sounds like a plan,” said Eric.
“Now, going back to what you said about Discord, how you said that there’s nothing that’ll make you happier than him moving away,” Azure said with a slightly more serious tone. “You don’t’ really mean that, do you? I mean, the guy is annoying, but-”
“Trust me, Azure,” Eric interrupted. “You wouldn’t understand unless you were in my position.”
“Still, I’m sure you don’t completely hate him,” she said. “Plus, there’s gotta be something that’ll make you happier than seeing him move away. I know you’re not that cold-hearted.”
Eric sighed. “No, I’m not,” he said admittedly. “There is one thing that would make me happier…”
“Like getting one of your stories published?” asked Azure.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, that…” Eric said half-heartedly, although Azure Gem didn’t notice it. In actuality, he was thinking about something entirely different. Over the year that he’s gotten to know Azure Gem, Eric developed (in his words) an interest in her. He did think she was pretty, and that she was fun to be around, but he never openly acknowledged the possibility of him being attracted to her, not even to himself. Even so, it was the idea of Azure having an “interest” in him that would truly make him happy more than anything else.
“See, Eric?” she said, snapping him out of his deep thinking. “Despite all the crap you talk about Discord, you still kinda consider him as a friend.”
The human furrowed his brow. “Trust me, Az. The LAST thing that I’d consider Discord to be is a friend,” he said with finality.
The unicorn merely chuckled at him. “You’re really stubborn, you know that?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean that it’s hard to get you to change your mind about something, like you’d never consider an alternative possibility,” the mare explained. “Normally, I’d find it annoying, but with you, it’s kinda cute.”
“How so?” Eric asked with a raised eyebrow.
“The faces you make when you try to deny something, that’s how,” she said.
“You’re weird,” said Eric.
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Azure.
As Eric walked home from work later that afternoon, he reflected on his day. He had some fun introducing the new employees to the store. There were only three of them; one of which was a part-time employee before, but it was still nice to have someone to talk to besides Print Stock.
His mind then wandered back to what Azure Gem told him earlier that day. Was there really a possibility of him accepting Discord as a friend?
“Nah, she’s crazy,” he thought, waving it off. “There’s no way I’d accept that guy as a friend.” Eric then thought about what Azure said afterward. “Aw man. I am stubborn. I hate when that mare is right.”
When Eric reached his front door, he heard Discord talking to somepony on the other side. “Shit,” he thought. “Don’t tell me he brought a friend!” He immediately opened the door, and was surprised to see that his house was just the way he left it this morning. Discord was sitting on the living room couch, though, so this meant that he decided not to mess up Eric’s house for once. He walked over to the Draconequus to see what was going on, and he saw that he was levitating a phone close to his ear. The phone was on speaker, so Eric was able to hear who was on the other line.
“Discord, I rarely have any spare time on my hands these days. I’m just asking for a short night out.”
“Well, I can’t, Tia. I’m busy tonight.”
“With what? You don’t have a job.”
“I have stuff to do around my house,”
“Yeah, right. Chances are you’re lazing around at Eric’s.”
“He is,” Eric answered with a smile. He loved it whenever Celestia gave Discord the business.
“Will you shut up?” he mouthed to Eric as he tried to make another excuse. “Well, I promised my marefriend I’d help here out with something,” he said.
“I’M your marefriend!” Celestia said, followed by a frustrated groan. “Honestly, you’re unbelievable, Discord. You have nothing but free time, but you can’t set aside one night for me! It’s like you have no priorities!”
“I have plenty of priorities!” he argued.
“Not you do not!” she snapped back. “Seriously, I don’t know how I can even-” Celestia was interrupted by Discord’s pressing of the “End Call” button.
“She has a point, you know,” Eric said.
“She just needs to calm her nerves,” Discord said dismissively. “She’ll be fine.”
“Don’t you think that you’re taking her for granted?” asked the human. “Maybe you should think about how she feels. She’s swamped with work almost all the time, and all she wanted was to spend one of her rare moments of spare time with you. Maybe you should start treating her more like a mare and less like a flank call.”
“Wow, Eric,” said the draconequus. “I didn’t realize how much you cared.”
“I don’t care,” he said. “Not about you, at least. I’m only saying this because Celestia doesn’t deserve to be treated the way you treat her.”
“Suuure,” said Discord. “Well, I’m going out. I’ll mess up your house tomorrow, okay?”
“Greeeeat… I look forward to it,” Eric said sarcastically as his neighbor poofed away. “Now, I gotta buy more waffles.”
The next day, Eric made his way to work, but when he got there, he saw something through the glass window that really surprised him. Discord was speaking with Print Stock. He wasn’t sure what it was about, but he tried to figure it out from what he could see. He didn’t want to enter the store and draw attention to himself. He saw Print reach for a box, a box that looked really familiar. The stallion then took out an extra large shirt and handed it to Discord.
“Wait a second,” said Eric. “He’s not…”
Unfortunately, Eric suspicion was confirmed when Discord looked at him through the glass and held up the shirt in front of him with a happy smile. Eric’s initial feeling of surprise and suspicion slowly became one of dread and horror.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Eric thought in a panic. “Please let this be a joke! There’s no way that Discord would even apply for a job, let alone get one!”
Hoping for this to be one huge prank, he rushed into the store, where Discord was still standing.
“What are you doing here!?” he asked him.
“Oh, hi, Eric,” said Print Stock “You know this fella?”
“Know me?” said Discord. “I’m his neighbor!”
“Really?” asked Print. “You never mentioned that Discord was your neighbor Eric,”
“Yes, and for good reason,” he thought. “Must have slipped my mind,” he said. “Say, Discord. Can I talk to you outside for a second?”
“Sure, buddy!” he said, making Eric’s eye twitch. One the two of them were outside, Eric proceeded to go off on Discord.
“What the hell are you doing here, Discord!?” he asked angrily.
“Well, I was thinking about what you and Celestia are always telling me, and I decided that you guys were right; I should get a job,” he explained.
“Did it have to be at the same place I work?” asked Eric.
“I just wanted a chance for us to get to know each other better so we can be on better terms,” said the draconequus.
“You and I both know that that is complete bullshit!” said the human. “You just want to mess with me some more!”
“Well, that’s partly true,” Discord admitted with a chuckle. “It is rather fun. However, the main reason is to have some extra bits and to get Tia off my case for a while. Messing with you is just a perk.”
Eric was on the verge of exploding. He looked around the immediate area for an object he could use to kill himself, or more preferably, Discord. He thought his situation was hopeless, but then he realized something there was a silver lining to this.
“Too bad you won’t be able to mess with me, Discord,” he said with a smirk.
“Oh? And why is that?” the lord of chaos asked returning the smirk.
“Check the shirt,” the human said. “I’m assistant manager, which means I have the power to fire you if I want to. Step out of line even once, and I’ll kick your ass to the curb!”
Discord’s eyes shrunk when Eric’s words finally sunk in. No job meant no money, and no reprieve from Celestia’s incessant complaining. “Shit, I didn’t even think of that,” he said.
“That’s right,” said Eric. “As long as you’re working here, you’re my bitch.”
The draconequus grumbled under his breath, and finally complied with his new superior. “Fine,” he said.
That afternoon, Eric left for lunch while Discord took a bathroom break so he wouldn’t be followed. On his way to the diner, he felt pretty happy about his new situation. While Discord may be working at the bookstore now, he had power over him, power that he could take advantage of as much as he’d like to, within reason, of course. His thoughts were interrupted by somepony sneaking up behind him and covering his eyes.
“Guess who!” they said.
“Mommy?” he joked.
“Very funny. Guess again.”
“I know it’s you, Luna,” said Eric. “I recognized your voice.”
“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” the princess said as she removed her hands from her friend’s face. “So, how have you been? Azure Gem told me that you were promoted to Assistant Manager.”
“I’m great!” he said enthusiastically.
“Azzy also told me that she wanted the three of us to celebrate this Saturday,” she said. “So, I’m going to hook you in.”
“Hook me up,” he corrected, “and how so?”
“Well, I can just say that I won’t be able to make it this Saturday, and I’ll insist that you and Azzy go ahead and celebrate without me,” Luna explained. “That way, you two can spend some alone time.”
“What would be the point?” Eric asked.
“The point would be to get you closer to your crush. I’m playing pairmaker,” she said.
“Playing matchmaker,” he corrected, “and don’t. I don’t have feelings for Azure.”
“Yes you do,” the princess insisted. “You just can’t admit it to yourself.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about her.”
“Well, this is the perfect chance to find out! If you feel something, then great! If not, no harm done.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll go along with this,” Eric conceded. “But only because I know I won’t be able to change your mind.”
“Good choice,” Luna said with a victorious smile. She then looked ahead of her and saw a familiar mare at the usual lunch spot. “Oh look! There’s Azure!” she said.
“What’s up, guys?” said Azure as her friends approached her.
“Not much,” Eric said as the three of them got seated.
“You sure you won’t be able to make it Saturday, Lulu?” asked the unicorn.
“I’m sorry, you guys,” said the princess. “I’m going to be marshed with paperwork this weekend.”
“Swamped with paperwork,” Eric corrected.
“Well, if you can’t go, you can’t go. At least Eric and I will be able to celebrate,” said Azure Gem. “Oh, by the way, Eric. I saw Discord at the bookstore. What’s that about?”
“Oh yeah,” he said lamentingly. “He’s gonna be working there now.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate,” said Luna.
“I know this sounds crazy coming from me, but it’s not all that bad,” Eric admitted.
“How so?” asked Azure.
“Well, since I’m Assistant Manager, I have the power to fire him,” he explained. “So, if he messes up, it’s his ass.”
“That’s pretty advantageous of you,” said the unicorn.
“The guy’s been getting on my nerves for a year. It’s time I got a chance at payback,” Eric said.
“He does have a point when you put it that way…” said Luna.
“I guess…” said Azure.
“Things are starting to look up,” said the human.
“Well, despite your complications with Discord, would you say that you’ve enjoyed your first year in Canterlot, Eric?” asked the princess.
“I love it here, Lulu,” he answered. “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t met you.”
“How did you two meet, anyway?” Azure asked.
“Oh, it’s a great story, Azzy!” Luna said excitedly.
“I was vacationing in the human world with Celestia for a few weeks. New York City I think it was called. One day, I decided to out into the city by myself. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea, considering that it was my first time in the human world and Celestia was more knowledgeable about it than I was. True, I could have easily called her and told her that I was lost, but she’d never let me live it down. Luckily, Eric noticed me as I was walking around and decided to help me. He said that he could tell when somebody, or in my case, somepony was new to the city, and he offered to be my escort.”
“I never said ‘escort’,” Eric interrupted. “I wasn’t that formal.”
“Just let me tell the story,” Luna said, waving a hand, then she turned back to Azure.
“As I was saying, Eric showed me around the city and even showed me Times Square. When we stopped for something to eat, I noticed the book he was carrying around with him. He told me that it was where he wrote his stories, and I asked to take a peek. After commending him for his skill, he told me that it was getting harder and harder to find inspiration, and that’s when I suggested the idea of relocating to Equestria. He thought it was a crazy idea at first, but he was unaware of my status as a princess.”
“You didn’t know that Luna was a princess, Eric?” Azure asked incredulously.
“Like she said earlier,” he said. “Up until then, only Celestia made appearances in the human world. At the time, she was the only princess from this world that I knew of.”
“Stop interrupting!” Luna said, getting annoyed.
“Anyway, I told Eric that I could get him a house in Canterlot as compensation for his hospitality. He thought that it was unnecessary, but I insisted. Since he was kind enough to guide me around his world, it was only fair that I let him experience mine.”
“And that’s how Eric and I met,” Luna said, finishing her story.
“Interesting,” said Azure Gem. “You’re quite the gentleman, Eric.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that…” he said with a blush.
“So, back on the topic of Eric’s promotion celebration,” the princess said, quickly changing the subject, “I think you two should go to the movies! There’s this new comedy that’s supposed to be out by then. I went to a pre-screening the other day, and it was hilarious!”
“Sounds good to me,” said the unicorn. “What do you say, Eric?”
“I’m all for it, Az,” he said with a smile. He then looked at Luna, who throws a wink at him, and he blushes.
Over the course of the week, Eric kept a close eye on Discord while at work. He didn’t plan on being that asshole boss that you fire you for any old reason, but he had no problem making the draconequus think that he was. Eric just needed to watch his every move and give him the occasional “I’m watching you” sign, to get it into Discord’s head. He wasn’t going to deny it; it felt good messing with Discord instead of having it be the other way around. He even chuckled when Discord shelved a book upside down, then went into a mini-panic trying to shelve it properly before anyone noticed. By the end of the week, the embodiment of chaos was run ragged. As the two neighbors walked home from work on Friday, the day before Eric’s outing (as he called it) with Azure Gem, Discord decided to strike up a conversation for the sake of livening up the walk.
“Do you enjoy tormenting me at work?” he asked.
“Do you enjoy tormenting me every other time?” Eric retorted. “It doesn’t feel good to be the one on the other end of the situation, does it?”
“I have no comment,” Discord said, not wanting to admit that the human was right.
If it was one thing that these two had in common, it was that they couldn’t admit when they were wrong.
As Eric approached his front door, he noticed that Discord didn’t follow him. Instead, he went to his own house, back hunched over in exhaustion. The human couldn’t help but chuckle. The guy was so worn out from work that he wasn’t even in the mood for one of his chaos sessions.
“This is even better than I thought,” Eric thought. “He’s practically under my thumb at this point.” He happily walked into his chaos-free house and changed out of his work shirt. “Now I get to do something that I haven’t gotten to do in a while,” he said to himself as he walked down the stairs to his basement. “Writing!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, maybe a bit too enthusiastically, but he couldn’t help himself. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. Without Discord bothering him, he could actually relax in his own home. Unfortunately, while Eric did have the draconequus’s antics under control during the weekdays, there was one thing that he overlooked:
The weekend.
On Saturday morning, Eric cooked himself a nice breakfast, waffles and all, and sat at his living room table watching TV.
“This is shaping up to be a great morning so far,” he said to himself, only for his peace and quiet to be interrupted by-
“Knock, knock!” Discord said as he appeared on Eric’s TV
“I spoke too soon,” he said. “This morning is no longer great.”
“Au contraire, Eric,” said the draconequus as he pulled up a weather chart. “As you can see, it’s going to be warm and sunny all morning long. Not only that, but we’ll be expecting nice weather all weekend!”
“I’d trust the actual weather pony before I’d trust you,” the human stated bluntly.
“This is very accurate data here, Eric,” Discord argued.
“Sure it is,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, while I’m here,” Discord said as he climbed out of the television, “do you have anything to eat?”
Since there was little chance of his neighbor leaving, Eric allowed him to get something to eat. “Just don’t touch my waffles, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won’t touch your precious waffles,” Discord said as he walked to the kitchen. “I got a stomachache last time I took some.”
“You don’t think that might have had something to do with how many you ate?”
“Nope, it was definitely your waffles.”
At around three in the afternoon, Discord finally left Eric’s house, which gave Eric ample time to prepare for the movie with Azure Gem. He looked into his closet to see what he could wear.
“Hmm… I don’t want to look too formal, but I don’t want to look like I just threw something on at the last minute. Maybe something that says ‘I’m going somewhere nice, but only with a friend that happens to be of the opposite sex’? Ugh, listen to me. I sound like that designer from Ponyville that everyone talks about. What’s her name again? Rari-something?” Eric shook his head. “Ah, that’s not important. Why am I even putting so much consideration into this? I’m just going out with a friend.”
He stood silently for a second and finally made a decision. “Okay, a button-up shirt and jeans with sneakers, and maybe one spritz of cologne. Yeah, that should do it.” Eric looked at the clock and saw that it was ten after three. He and Azure planned on catching the movie at five thirty then go out for dinner. “Okay, I can leave to pick up Az at five, then we can catch a taxi carriage to the theater. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”
At quarter to five, Eric was dressed and ready to leave for Azure’s house. As he left, he decided to take that one spritz of cologne. He set off to pick up his “companion” for the night, unaware that someone was watching him from out of their window?
“Hmm… I wonder where he’s headed off to,” Discord said to himself.
Eric took a deep breath as he stood in front of Azure’s house. “What am I so nervous for?” he thought to himself. “I hang out with Az all the time, so what’s the big deal?” He took another deep breath and knocked on the door.
“Just a second!” the mare said from inside. Eric could hear footsteps approaching the door, and for some reason, his heart kept beating faster and faster as Azure Gem got closer and closer. Finally, the door opened and Eric finally got a good look at Azure.
Judging from what she was wearing, she might have had the same idea as Eric, not too formal, but not too casual. Then again, Azure was never one to overdo things. She had on a white blouse that matched her mane and tail, and she was wearing black skinny jeans. Her mane was tied back in a ponytail (how ironic…) and she was wearing a sapphire necklace. Eric also caught a whiff of something. It smelled like… like…
“Perfume?” Eric thought. “Is Azure wearing perfume? Nah, it must be over-scented shampoo or something. I don’t think Azzy would wear perfume just for a movie, and a five-o-clock movie, no less.”
“So are you gonna just stand there, or are you gonna say hi?” the mare asked with a chuckle.
“Oh, sorry,” Eric said awkwardly. “Hi… You look really nice tonight.”
“Why thank you,” she said with exaggerated graciousness. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Eric.”
“Okay, so I did dress for the occasion,” he thought. “Good, that’ll eliminate any misunderstandings. Now to catch a taxi and head to the movie.” Thankfully, he was able to catch on quickly and avoid any awkward standing around.
As Eric and Azure sat in the taxi, carriage, Azure started talking about the movie.
“So I finally got around to watching the trailer for the movie, and it’s hilarious!” she said.
“Hopefully it won’t be one of those comedies where all the funny lines are in the trailer,” Eric said.
“Judging from how well Luna praised the movie, I don’t think that’ll be the case,” said Azure.
“Well that’s pretty optimistic of you, Azzy,” said Eric. “Care to give me one of your infamous predictions?”
Azure Gem loved to predict the plots to movies. There were even some cases where her predictions were correct, and with Azure’s special talent, her predictions were much more interesting than the average pony’s
“Only because you asked,” she said, even though she probably would have done it regardless of whether Eric asked or not. She lit up her horn and an image appeared above her head.
“I think that the fake family will get captured by the drug lord, escape them, and then one of the fake family members will get injured in some way, and they have to decide on either taking him to the hospital or returning home to get their money.” As Azure stated her prediction, the scene played out on the image above her head.
“It’s really cool how you can turn your thoughts into moving pictures,” Eric said in awe.
“Well, it is my special talent,” Azzy said with a smile. “I’ve always had an active imagination.”
“I wish I had that power,” said the human. “It would really help with my writing.”
“You always say that,” said the unicorn.
“That’s how badly I want it,” Eric said with a chuckle. [Wellkay, this is going well so far,” he thought. “Was that last thing I said bordering on flirtation, though? I’m not sure.” He took a quick look at Azure’s expression. “She doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, so that must mean she’s okay with it. Good.”
Several minutes later, Eric and Azure reach the movie theater. After Eric paid the taxi fare, he and Azzy got in line for their tickets. Thankfully, since they were catching a five-o-clock showing, the line was nowhere near as long as it could be if it were for a seven or nine-o-clock showing.
“Want some snacks, Az?” Eric asked.
“Feel like sharing an extra-large popcorn?” she asked back.
“Sounds good,” Eric said. “Want anything to drink?”
“Cherry soda sounds nice,” Azure answered.
“Alright, then. I think I’ll have that, too,” Eric said as he got up to the front of the snack bar and ordered the snacks.
“You didn’t have to pay for all of it, you know,” Azure pointed out.
Eric started to panic. He might have set off a wrong vibe. “Oh, I didn’t? Sorry, I didn’t know that-”
“Relax, I didn’t say I didn’t appreciate it,” the unicorn said. “Chill, man.”
“Sorry…” he said, realizing how much of an idiot he acted like. That feeling of shame quickly turned into one of urgency when a familiar urge took him over. “Az, can you hold the snacks for a sec? I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Sure, Eric,” she said. “I’ll get us some seats in the meantime.”
Eric nodded his head and made his way to the bathroom. Hopefully, some time in there could also allow him to get himself together. He decided to take a stall; Eric occasionally liked the feeling of being closed off from others. It gave him time to think. As he relieved himself, Eric tried to rationalize himself.
“Come on, man. Stop acting like a moron!” he mentally scolded himself. “It’s not like you’ve never gone out with Azure Gem before! Whether or not Luna’s here shouldn’t make a difference. Az is just a friend, so why are you hung up on making everything perfect? Just relax.”
Ironically, the first thing Eric saw when he opened his stall door was anything but relaxing.
“What’s up, lover boy?” said a certain draconequus.
“AAGH!!!” Eric yelled in shock as he barely kept himself from falling over. “Fucking shit, man! What are you doing here!?”
“I was curious about where you were going earlier, so I followed you,” explained Discord.
“Do you really have nothing better to do with your time!?” the human asked furiously. “Stop trying to sabotage my life!”
“Sabotage?” Discord asked innocently. “You misunderstand; I’m only here to observe your date with Azure Gem.”
“It’s not a date!” Eric argued. “Luna was supposed to come with us, but she was busy!”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Discord said, not believing him.
“Regardless, why do you have to ‘observe’ me and Azure!?”
“Because, I originally planned on crashing the outing, but then I felt that you’d ruin it yourself, what with your inexperience with women and all,” the draconequus said mockingly.
“Inexperience?” Eric asked incredulously.
Discord smiled and began to mock him. “Oh, I didn’t? Sorry, I didn’t know that- blah, blah, blah! You sounded like a five-year-old.”
“At least I don’t act like a five-year-old,” the human snapped back.
“Look, all I’m doing is observing,” Discord repeated. “I won’t try anything, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
Eric was on the verge of punching the dragon-like abomination in the face, but decided to just relax. “Fine, Discord” he conceded.
“Good, now go on,” he said. “It’s not polite to keep your lady waiting, Eric”
He wanted to make a quip about Discord and his relationship with Celestia, but decided to let the draconequus have this one.
Eric checked his ticket to remind himself which theater his movie was showing in. “Theater six…” he muttered to himself. Once he was inside the theater, he looked around for Azure. Thankfully, the previews were still playing, so they haven’t dimmed the lights completely yet. Eric was able to find Azure and took a seat next to her.
“Sorry for making you carry all the snacks,” he apologized. “You must’ve had our hands full.”
“Have you already forgotten that I’m a unicorn?” she said, playfully lifting a piece of popcorn with her magic and throwing it at Eric. “Besides, when nature calls, nature calls.”
Eric chuckled at the unicorn’s joke. It almost made him forget that Discord was watching him.
Oh, shit. Discord was watching him.
Eric tried his best to keep his cool and just focus on the movie. Thankfully, it was funny enough to keep his mind off of his silent watcher. Midway through the film, with his eyes stuck to the screen, he stuck his hand inside the bag of popcorn only to feel something soft and velvety. He then heard a giggle coming from Azure Gem. Eric looked into the bag and saw that he was holding Azure’s hand.
“Oh, sorry!” he said, yanking his hand out from the bag. “Shit! Now she’ll think I’m hitting on her!” he thought frantically.
“You alright, Eric?” asked Azure.
“Oh, I’m fine, Azzy,” he answered with a blush. Thankfully, the mare couldn’t see it because of how dark the theater was.
After the movie, Eric and Azure were still in stitched from what they just watched, and Eric was laughing harder than Azure.
“Why are you laughing so hard?” she asked him.
“Two reasons: One, the movie was a freakin’ riot!” he said in-between laughs. “Two, this is the first time your prediction was word-for-word accurate.”
“And that amuses you?” Azure asked as her laughter died down.
“To a certain degree,” Eric said as his laughter died down as well.
“Well, I need to go to the little filly’s room. Don’t get lost or anything, ‘kay?” the mare said playfully.
“Amusing,” said the human as Azure giggled and walked away. Eric couldn’t help but look at her as she left. Her long white mane, her luxurious blue coat that he got a chance to feel not too long ago… Eric’s eyes then unknowingly drifted downward to the mare’s flank. He was, for lack of a better word, “entranced” by the sight of Azure’s tail swishing back and forth in the opposite direction that her flank was.
Tail moved left, flank moved right. Tail moved right, flank moved left.
“Wait a sec,” Eric whispered to himself. “Why am I looking at her like that!?”
“Because she turns you on,” said someone from… above him?
“Discord!?” Eric quietly yelled.
“Why are you so surprised?” he asked as he got back down to the ground. “You already knew that I was watching you. Speaking of which, I saw what happened with the popcorn. Why didn’t you do anything after you held Azzy’s hand? You didn’t wrap your arm around your shoulder or anything! You, my friend, have no game.”
“Game? This isn’t a game, Discord!” the human said, getting angrier. “Azure’s not some prize I’m after! I’m just her friend.”
“Yeah, you’re her friend, not her gay friend.”
“You did not just go there!”
“Yes. I. Did.”
“Look, you got to see me and Azure go to the movies, now get the hell out of here!” Eric demanded.
“No way, there’s still the aftermath,” Discord refused. “You still have a chance to make a move, and I want to see if you actually take that chance.”
“I’m not making a move because I don’t like her like that, goddammit!” the human said trying his best to stay as quiet as he could.
“There’s no harm in admitting you like her,” said the draconequus. “She’s a nice mare, and if you ask me, I think she likes you, too. Besides, she’s lots of fun, and you’re no fun at all, so she completes you.”
“Wait, is that Celestia over there?” Eric said, trying to fool Discord.
Discord merely rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, like you really expect me to fall for tha- SHIT!!!”
“What?” Eric asked as he looked in the direction Discord was looking in. His eyes then widened when he saw none other than Celestia in the theater lobby.
“Dammit! Tia’s here!” Discord said in a panic. “I told her I’d be home all night tonight. I can’t let her catch me here!”
“You blew off another date with her?” asked the human.
“That’s none of your business!” the draconequus snapped back.
“Neither was my night with Azure,” Eric said with a smirk. “Regardless, you’d better make yourself scarce before Celestia sees you.”
Discord growled. If it wasn’t for his marefriend, he could’ve seen what Eric and Azure would have been up to after the movie. “Fine, I’m out,” he said. “Tell me everything that happens with you and Azure.” With that, Discord poofed out of the theater and out of Celestia’s sight.
“Yeah right,” Eric said to no one in particular. “Maybe when it rains chocolate from cotton candy clouds.” He then facepalmed when he realized how easily Discord could make that happen. “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about him anymore.” He looked towards the fillies’ room door and didn’t see Azure Gem yet. “I guess female ponies take long to use the bathroom, too…” he thought out loud.
“What was that about female ponies?” asked somepony from behind Eric.
“Agh! Azzy!” he said in surprise.
“Surprise!” she said.
“You’re almost as bad as Discord,” Eric muttered.
“Maybe I’m just helping to keep you on your toes so he doesn’t get the jump on you, Eric,” Azure playfully suggested.
“That would’ve actually come in handy earlier…” he thought. “So, you still want to get something to eat?”
“Of course,” she said, as if Eric should have known that.
“We just shared an extra-large popcorn, and you’re still peckish?” he chuckled as they left the theater.
“Let’s not forget that you ate most of it,” Azure said accusingly.
“No way!” Eric argued. “You were wolfing it down for the entire movie. I saw you shoveling mouthfuls into your mouth with your magic.”
“I was not!” Azure said defensively. “Besides, all that butter goes right to my flank, and that’s the last thing I want.”
Eric’s eyes unconsciously went to the body part that Azure just happened to mention. It wasn’t his fault, though. She shouldn’t have mentioned it so casually. That’s how Eric rationalized it, at least. With that in mind, he got caught up in that mesmerizing pattern again.
Tail moved left, flank moved right. Tail moved right, flank moved left.
“What are you staring at?”Azure asked with a suspicious look on her face.
“Nothing!” Eric said, quickly averting his eyes.
“Bullshit!” the mare said with a hearty laugh. “You were totally checking me out!”
“I was not!” he said, his face turning beet red.
“Aww! It’s alwight, Ewic,” she said with a baby voice. “I’m not mad with you~”
“Seriously, how old are you?” Eric asked.
“Twenty-four,” Azure answered despite the fact that she knew that it was a rhetorical question, “and you?”
“Twenty-one,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Well, you should learn to respect your elders, Eric,” said the mare. “You should also watch whose flank you stare at, too. The next mare you ogle might not be as nice with you as I was.”
“You say that like I’m some kind of lecher,” he said, offended.
“I don’t know what you do at home,” Azure teased.
“You’re horrible,” Eric said.
“And yet, you still choose to be around me,” she said with a triumphant smile, as if she got the better of Eric somehow. Eric decided to drop the issue, admitting to himself that each word he said just dug him a deeper grave.
Eric and Azure arrived at a small diner, and they were promptly seated. The place was relatively empty, which made Eric a little nervous. The lack of other ponies and people there increased the sense of isolation, making the outing feel more like a date.
“Is it really such a bad thing if this was considered a date?” he thought to himself. “I mean, Azzy’s a nice girl. She’s fun to be around, and she seems comfortable with me. She didn’t even bat an eyelash when she caught me staring at her flank. Could that mean that she liked it? Nah, I’m jumping to conclusions, I can’t just assume that she likes me.”
Eric sunk deeper and deeper into thought. “Why was I staring at her flank anyway? Was it because I was just being a guy, or do I really find Azure attractive. I mean, she is pretty, but am I attracted to her? I keep telling myself that I just see her as a friend, but maybe I was just lying to myself. Everypony’s always telling me that I’m stubborn; maybe this is one of those stubborn moments.”
Eric kept mulling these thoughts over in his head through the entire dinner. Whenever Azure Gem said something, he’d answer with the usual “yeah,” or “uh-huh,” or “oh, really?” Azure took notice of this and became concerned. She knew that Eric was one to fall into deep thought every now and then, but not to this extent. She wanted to say something to snap Eric out of it, but something inside her told her that something was really bothering him, so she decided to let it wait, at least until dinner was over.
When the bill came, Eric snapped out of his deep thinking momentarily and reached for his wallet, only for his hand to be held still by Azure’s magic.
“You don’t need to do that,” she said generously. “Let me cover this.”
“You sure?” Eric asked.
“Of course,” said Azure. “You paid for both our movie tickets and for our snacks. I have to pay you back somehow, right? Besides, just because you got a raise, doesn’t mean you have to blow it all on me.”
“Well, if you say so,” he conceded.
After the dinner, Eric and Azure Gem opted to walk home instead of catching a taxi carriage. Actually, it was more the latter’s idea. As they walked, Azure noticed the look on Eric’s face; he was in deep thought again. The mare figured that the moment they had together would be the perfect time to ask him what was on his mind.
“Is something bothering you, Eric?” she asked.
“No, it’s nothing, Az,” he answered unconvincingly. “I’m just thinking…”
“Thinking about what?” she asked.
“I’d rather not say,” he answered. “It’s kind of… uncomfortable to talk about.”
“Come on, Eric,” she pleaded. “You know you can talk to me about anything. I am your best friend, aren’t I?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” he muttered, more to himself than to Azure.
“What do you mean?” she asked, tilting her head.
Eric hesitated and shook his head. “No, it’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” He tried to talk ahead of Azure, only to have her grab him by the wrist.
“I don’t like when you do that, Eric,” she said bluntly. “You shouldn’t have any reason not to trust me.”
Eric said nothing and continued to look away from her.
“Look at me, Eric,” the mare said sternly.
He complied with Azure and turned to look her in the eye, and he was taken aback by how intense her expression was.
She didn’t look mad. In fact, she looked far from it. Her expression was intense, for sure, but it was an expression of intense concern as opposed to intense frustration. Her emerald green eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight, even from behind her purple glasses.
“I worry about you, you know,” she said. “I can tell when something’s bothering you. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
Eric merely sighed. “Okay, but can it wait until I get you home?
“Sure, but you’ll have to tell me then,” she said sternly. “Deal?”
“Deal,” he accepted.
The rest of the walk was silent, uncomfortably silent. The two occasionally looked at each other only to quickly turn away when their eyes made contact. Eventually they made it to Azure’s house, and she invited Eric in to make him feel as comfortable as possible. They both sat on Azure’s living room couch, and the mare proceeded to ask the same question she asked not too long ago.
“So, Eric,” she said. “What’s bothering you?”
Eric started to hesitate again, but he took a deep breath and looked Azure in the eye, which had a calming effect on him. “I… I’ve been really confused about how I feel about you, Az,” he admitted. “I mean, you are pretty, and I do think you’re interesting, but I don’t know if I’m attracted to you. I was really nervous about tonight because I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to make a move on you.”
“I thought you were a little jumpy tonight,” Azure said.
“Yeah…” said Eric. “I was really unsure about how I felt, but lately I’ve been noticing things about you. Like I said, I knew you were pretty, but I started to notice the other things, like the way you carry yourself, and how you’re never afraid to speak your mind, little things like that. I tried rationalizing it, but-”
“You can’t,” Azure interrupted. “No matter how hard you try to make it seem like a normal thing, it isn’t. You try to deny the possibility of there being some kind of deeper meaning, but you simply brush it off because you don’t want to risk that friendship.” She spoke as though she knew exactly what Eric was thinking.
“Even when you realize that you’re looking at them in ways you don’t look at normal friends,” she continued, “you try to make sense out of it all, but it’s impossible. You rack your mind trying to come up with a reason why you feel this way when the answer is right under your nose.”
“Azzy,” Eric said, only to follow with nothing.
“Remember earlier at the movie, when you held my hand by accident?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“I know you couldn’t see me, but I was blushing,” she admitted. “Whenever you’d have one of those cute moments of yours, I’d play it off by teasing you about it, even though I knew you hated it.”
“Actually,” Eric said. “I grew to like it a little. In fact, I guess you could say I grew to like it a lot.” He turned to look into Azure’s green eyes again. “I like you a lot, Azzy,” he finally admitted.
“I like you a lot, too, Eric,” she said.
Eric was unsure of what to do next, but Azure was nothing but sure. Noticing Eric’s hesitance, she gently grasped his shoulders and pulled him closer to her, eventually pressing her lips against his. The kiss was awkward at first; both of them were inexperienced when it came to this kind of thing, but after a few seconds, they both got into the rhythm of it. Eric wrapped his arms around Azure; he could feel the softness of her coat and smell the aroma permeating from her mane. He took the opportunity to feel her soft mane with his hands, an action that Azure was more than happy to accept. Azure pushed Eric down on the couch, their lips still making contact as they shared their feelings for each other after denying them for so long.
After nearly two minutes, the two finally separated from each other, Azure’s emerald eyes staring down at Eric’s dark brown eyes.
“I don’t think I want to go home tonight,” he said to her.
“I’m glad to hear that,” she said to him.
The new couple embraced on the couch, their arms wrapped around each other, and they lied there as sleep took them over.
Eric woke up the next morning still on Azure Gem’s couch, only she wasn’t with him. Before he could even begin to wonder where she could have gone, an intoxicating aroma filled the room.
“Mmm… That smells good…” he thought as he rolled on his side, only fall out of the bed. “Agh… Goddammit,” he whimpered.
“Sounds like somepony’s awake,” chimed a familiar voice. Eric got to his feet and saw Azure in her kitchen making breakfast; she was looking at him over her shoulder. “You hungry?” she asked.
“Actually, I am a little hungry,” Eric admitted. “Are those pancakes I smell?”
“Good nose,” Azure said with a chuckle. “It’s my specialty. I love pancakes.”
“Meh, I prefer waffles,” he quipped.
“Sit down,” she said, rolling your eyes.
“As you wish, milady,” Eric said with a mock bow before he sat down at the table.
“What do you want to drink?” asked Azure. “Water, milk, orange juice, coffee, tea…”
“I’ll take the OJ,” he said.
“Sure thing,” she smiled as she poured Eric a cup of juice and served it to him along with his pancakes.
“Excuse me if I’m being too formal, Eric” said Azure. “I had a job waiting tables before I started working at the coffee shop.”
“I was just about to ask,” he said. “You’re not expecting a tip, are you?”
“Just eat your breakfast,” Azure said, stifling a chuckle.
“Yes ma’am,” said Eric
After finishing his breakfast at Azure’s house, Eric decided to head home so he could take a shower. Before he left, Azure gave him a quick kiss goodbye, and he spent the entire walk home replaying that kiss over and over in his head.
When Eric finally made it to his house, he took out is key and tried to unlock the door, only to find out that it was already unlocked.
“That’s weird… I could’ve sworn that I locked the door when I left last night.” Eric scratched his head, wondering what could’ve unlocked his door, but then he remembered what usually waits behind the door when it’s unlocked. “Oh, shit!” he said as he opened the door and rushed inside. Just as he feared, his house was in a chaotic mess, and the usual culprit was sitting on a floating couch above him.
“Dammit, Discord!” Eric yelled in frustration.
“There you are!” he said. “About time you got home! Where were you? I thought I told you to tell me everything when the date was over.”
“Did you really expect me to tell you anything?” Eric asked.
“I at least deserve an explanation as to why you didn’t come home last night,” Discord argued.
“The hell you do! You don’t even live here!” the human harshly reminded.
“Throw me a bone, will you?” said the draconequus. “I only want to know because I want to help you out with the mares.”
Eric rolled his eyes. “Well, if you must know, I spent the night at Azure’s house.”
Discord’s eyes widened upon hearing this, and he clapped his hands together. “Well, well, well. You finally made a move,” he said. “I knew you couldn’t resist your feelings towards Azzy for long. I didn’t think you had it in you, though.” The draconequus put an arm around Eric’s shoulder. “So, tell me everything. Did she give it up easily? Were you her first, or has she been around the block? Did the carpet match the drapes? Hardwood floors, or shag rug?”
“I didn’t have sex with her, Discord!” Eric said, disgusted. “I’m not gonna sleep with Azure on our first night out. I have more self-respect than that, and so does she.”
Discord gave a frustrated sigh. “Did you at least kiss her, Eric?”
“Yes, yes I did,” he said with a satisfied smile.
“How long?”
“Two minutes.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all,” Discord said, followed by a chuckle. “Let’s see how long this lasts.” He snapped his fingers and poofed out of Eric’s house, returning it to normal in the process.
Over a week passed since Eric and Azure’s first kiss, and the two became much closer since then. Azure had Eric over to her house, several times, but Eric never invited her over to his house out of fear that Discord might ruin their time together. The mare didn’t seem to mind, though. As long as she got to spend time with him, she was happy.
Discord silently observed the progression of their relationship, and he was not impressed by its progress (or in his opinion, the lack thereof). On Monday, while he and Eric walked to work, he decided to voice his concerns.
He chose to start with a casual question. “So, how have you and Azzy been lately?” he asked.
“We’re good, Discord,” Eric answered.
“Just good? It’s been nine days since you guys first went out. Haven’t you guys been on any dates since then?”
“I did take her out to dinner last night,” said Eric.
“That’s it?” Discord asked in disbelief. “Eric, if you want to get anywhere with Azure, you need to do something more.”
“She doesn’t seem to have a problem with it,” Eric said. “I’m not gonna risk making her uncomfortable.”
“Aaaand there’s your problem. You don’t take risks,” Discord pointed out. “I always take risks, and look at my love life. I have a marefriend that’s hotter than yours. Plus she has a bigger flank, so there’s more cushion for the pushin’!”
“With the way you’ve been treating Celestia lately, I doubt that she’s been letting you do any pushin’ in her cushion lately.”
“Pfft! Whatever!” said the draconequus. “At the rate you’re relationship is going, you won’t be doing any pushin’ either.”
“I’m not in this for sex, Discord,” Eric reminded him. “I genuinely love Azure.”
“I genuinely love Celestia,” Discord said.
“Forgive me if I find that hard to believe,” said the human.
Discord furrowed his brow at Eric. He did have a point. While Discord really loved Celestia, he hasn’t really been treating her like he did. Actions speak louder than words after all. He’d have to change that, not just to get back on Tia’s good side, but also to prove Eric wrong.
Meanwhile, Eric was deep in thought as well. Was he actually having a genuine conversation with Discord? If somepony that didn’t know them passed by, he or she would’ve assumed that Eric and Discord were friends. The mere idea made the human shake his head in disgust. Still, though, was he finally getting used to having Discord around after a year of having to put up with him?
Eric and Discord finally made it to the bookstore, and they put their respective thoughts aside.
Later that day, when Eric left to go to lunch, Discord gave a sigh of relief. “Hey, Print Stock?” he called.
“Yes, Discord?” answered the poegasus.
“Can I take a quick break?” asked the draconequus. “I need to make a personal call.”
“Sure. Take all the time you need,” said Print.
“Thanks,” Discord said as he excused himself from the store. Once outside he took out his phone and started dialing. “I don’t treat Celestia right, huh?” he mumbled to himself as he put the phone to his ear. “We’ll see about that.”
Discord waited as the phone rang. He silently hoped that Celestia wasn’t ignoring him. Thankfully, that fear was lifted when the princess answered the call. “Well this is a surprise,” she said dryly.
“Oh, come on, Tia. You’re starting to sound like Chrysalis,” said Discord.
“I have a lot of paperwork on my hands right now. What do you want?” she asked, not in the mood for any nonsense.
“Well, it’s come to my attention that I have been neglecting you lately, so I wanted to make up for it,” he said. “Are you free tonight?”
Celestia paused, not because she was thinking, but because she was surprised that Discord was actually making plans for them to go out. Because of this, she decided to take him up on his offer. “Well, if I skip my break today, I should have some free time aside for tonight,” she said, trying to sound like she wasn’t that interested.
Discord could see right through her, but he decided to play the part of the unassuming boyfriend. “Oh, great! It’s a date then! Meet me at the fountain in the city square at eight, okay?”
“Sure,” Celestia said casually, trying to hide her excitement.
“See you tonight, then!” Discord said happily as he hung up the phone. “That’ll teach Eric to doubt my commitment,” he said to himself.
Meanwhile, Eric walked into the coffee shop to look for Azure Gem, but he was surprised to see that he wasn’t there. In her place was one of her coworkers, Decaf, a brown earth mare with a mane and tail of a darker brown. Eric decided to ask her if she’d seen Azure.
“Hey, Decaf,” he said.
“Hi, Eric,” she said back. “You must be looking for Az, huh?”
“Yeah,”
“She called in sick today, so I’m filling in for her,” the mare explained.
“Oh, okay. I’ll have to pay her a visit after work today,” said Eric. “Thanks for letting me know, Decaf.”
“No problem!” she says.
“Looks like I’ll be having lunch solo today,” Eric thought. As he made his way to the usual lunch spot, he spotted Luna across the street. “Or maybe not…” He called the princess’s name and waved to her. When she saw him, a smile appeared on her face and she crossed the street to greet him.
“Good afternoon, Eric!” she said happily.
“Hey, Lulu,” he said.
“Shh! Don’t call me that out loud. The nobles might hear you,” Luna said with a chuckle. Calling the princesses by nicknames rather than formal titles tended to rub some of the Canterlot nobles the wrong way. Most of them were just suitors that were jealous of how close Eric and Azure were to Luna. She was the only available princess since Celestia had Discord, Cadance had Shining Armor, and Twilight was too occupied with her studies. Luna found all their bellyaching very humorous, and she simply waved off their complaints.
“You can never resist making a joke about that,” Eric remarked.
“And why not?” Luna asked. “I think it’s amusing that they think that I want to tie myself up with marriage so soon. I’ve been imprisoned in the moon for a thousand years. I want to spend at least twenty getting reacquainted with the world before I even think about marriage. I don’t age, so what’s the hurry?”
“Okay, first of all, it’s ‘tie myself down’,” Eric corrected. “But I do see your point. You have the advantage of prolonged youth, so you want to use that advantage to its fullest.”
“Exactly! What do I care if some sticky noble wants my hand in marriage?” Luna said with a hearty laugh.
“Stuck up,” Eric corrected again. “Sometimes I wonder if you misconstrue figures of speech on purpose because you know that I’ll correct you out of impulse.”
“Oh, darn! I’ve been found out!” the princess said sarcastically. “I guess there’s no fooling you, Eric!”
“I guess not,” he said with a chuckle.
“Don’t look now,” she said, looking across the street. “I see a disgruntled noble across the street looking at you.”
“Should I let him know I’m not interested in you?” Eric asked.
“No, let him think that he has competition,” Luna said deviously. “As they say, hatred shall continually persist.”
“You mean ‘haters gonna hate’?” Eric asked.
“Precisely!” Luna said as she and Eric walked to their usual diner. When they got seated, Eric took advantage of Azure’s absence to talk to Luna about Discord’s… “concerns” with his relationship with Azure.
“So Discord is insisting that I take the relationship to the next level, but Az and I have only been dating for a little over a week,” he explained. “I don’t want to rush anything.”
“That’s a good mindset to have,” said Luna. “I’ve lived in the modern world for a while and I’ve noticed that a considerable number of relationships have ended because one or both parties decided to rush things.”
“Exactly!”
“Although…” the princess said ominously.
“Although what?” asked Eric.
“I know you won’t like this, but just listen,” she disclaimed. “I think that Discord is just concerned for you.”
Eric said nothing. He merely looked at Luna with a raised eyebrow, wondering if she actually heard what was coming out of her mouth.
“All I’m saying is that maybe, just maybe, Discord is trying to be a friend to you,” she suggested.
“By trying to mess up my relationship?” Eric asked in disbelief.
“He was just giving a suggestion,” Luna defended. “He could just be trying to reach out to you.”
“I’m impressed that you can say those words in that order with a straight face,” said the human.
“It’s not a completely absurd idea, Eric,” said the princess. “Think about it. Discord doesn’t have any male friends to relate to. Maybe he’s realized this and wants to make a connection with you? I’m not saying you should follow his advice; in fact, that’s a very bad idea. I’m just saying that you should consider the possibility of Discord being your friend.”
Eric decided not to respond and let what Luna just said sink in, on the off chance that she was actually right.
As Eric and Discord walked home from work, Discord once again tried to, in Luna’s words, “reach out.”
“So how was your routine lunch with Azure?” he asked.
“She stayed home from work today,” Eric answered. He figured that if Discord really was trying to reach out to him, he might as well give the guy a chance. “I’m gonna visit her later this evening.”
“Oh, perfect!” Discord said excitedly. “I’m going to be your wingman!”
“I really don’t need a wingman for this,” Eric said. “I don’t want you following me to Azure’s house.”
“I’m not going to follow you,” Discord explained. “I’m going to give you more confidence.”
“What?”
“I can change anyone’s personality,” he explained. “In your case, I’ll make you more confident and assertive.”
“Yeah… thanks, but no thanks…” said Eric.
“Come on,” the draconequus begged.
“I said no, Discord,” Eris said, raising his voice.
“You’ll thank me later.”
“No.”
“Azzy will love it!”
“No.”
“It’ll make your relationship better.”
“NO!!!” Eric yelled.
Discord frowned angrily and snapped his fingers, trapping Eric in an immobilization spell. “I’m doing this for your own good,” he said as he tapped the human’s forehead, making his colors appear desaturated.
“So, you’re gonna be more aggressive, right?” asked Discord.
With his personality altered, Eric chuckled and looked the draconequus in the eye and said, “Of course. How else am I going to take my relationship with Az any further?”
Discord grinned at the human. “Thatta boy!” he said.
“Well,” Discord said to himself, “with Eric having a boost of confidence and Celestia off my back, I’d say that my work is done.” With a satisfied grin, he walked into his house and jumped onto his couch.
“I think I should take a nap before my date with Tia,” he said to himself again as he let out a yawn. “It wouldn’t be a good idea to show up to my date dead tired.” Discord made himself comfortable on the couch and closed his eyes. “I hope Eric has good luck with Azure,” he thought. “What am I thinking? Of course he will!”
Later that evening, Eric prepared for his visit to Azure Gem’s house. He decided to show up at around eight thirty, and he was going to dress for the occasion. He found a nice dress shirt and some slacks, and he put on some cologne as well, not too much, but more than his first date with Azure.
“That mare is in for the night of her life,” he said as he admired himself in the mirror before checking his watch. “Eight fifteen. I should get going.”
Eric made his way to Azure’s house, arriving right at the time he planned to arrive. He even took the time to get some flowers for her. “To help set the mood,” he thought to himself as he knocked on the door.
“Coming!” he heard from inside, followed by hoofsteps. The door finally opened, with a smiling Azure on the other side. “Oh! Hi, Eric!” she said happily. “Are those flowers for me?”
“Of course!” he said as he handed them to her. “Decaf told me you were sick, so I got you a little get-well present.”
“Well, I’m not actually sick,” she admitted. “I was feeling particularly lazy today, so I just used one of my sick days.”
“You sneaky, sneaky, filly,” Eric said with a grin. “Since I don’t have to worry about catching anything, mind if I come in?”
“Of course not,” Azure said.
Once Eric entered Azure’s house and into the light, she noticed something… strange about him. At first she thought it was from the lack of light outside, but now she was able to see that Eric’s skin looked faded.
“You sure you’re not sick, Eric?” Azure asked with concern. “Your skin isn’t looking too good.”
“What are you talking about, Az?” he asked. “I’ve never felt better.”
“Well, if you say so…” she said, still worried for her boyfriend’s health. “I’ll go put these flowers in a vase.”
“You do that,” Eric said as the mare turned around and looked for a vase. He took the opportunity to stare at Azure’s flank. As usual, she could tell that he was looking, but she felt… different about it. Usually, she thought it was cute, and it made her feel flattered, but this time, for some reason, it was making her feel uncomfortable.
“Um… Would you mind not doing that, Eric?” she asked politely.
“Aww…” he said, trying to sound cute. “I thought you liked it when I looked at your flank.”
“Well, not right now…” she said, trying and failing to explain how she felt. “I feel kind of different about it now.” Azure sighed as she walked to her couch and took a seat.
“Well, I’m sorry, Azzy,” Eric said apologetically as he followed the mare to her couch. It was hard for Azure to tell if he was being sincere. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” he said. “It’s just that I find that flank of yours is so hard to resist!”
“Umm… thanks?” she said, feeling even more uneasy. “What is up with him?” she thought. “He’s never been this forward with me before. I might just be overthinking things, but there’s something about him that’s making me feel… not right.”
Eric threw an arm around Azure and pulled her closer to him. She shivered at his touch, and he noticed it immediately, smiling at her reaction. He thought that it was one of arousal, but in actuality, it was one of fear.
Being the nice mare that she was, Azure tried to let Eric down easy rather than flat-out reject him. “Um… I think I actually am feeling a little under the weather, Eric,” she said as she gently removed his arm from her shoulder. “I should probably turn in early tonight. I could use some bed rest.”
Eric chuckled. “I know of a better remedy than bed rest,” he said as he dove in to kiss Azure’s neck, only for her to instinctively move away.
“Seriously, Eric. Stop,” she said more sternly.
“C’mon, Azzy,” he insisted. “You know you want to.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t,” she said, getting even more annoyed with him.
“Your lips say ‘no’,” Eric said slowly, and then he quickly snatched Azure’s glasses from her face and said, “but your eyes say ‘yes’.”
“Come on, Eric! This isn’t funny anymore!” said the unicorn. “You know I can’t see well without my glasses! Give them back!”
The human merely held the glasses away from Azure as she blindly moved her arms in front of her. She ended up reaching too far forward, falling on top of Eric.
“Well, well, well,” he said as he returned Azure’s glasses to their rightful place. “Looks like you do want me, Azzy. Now why don’t we stop fooling around and head upstairs where it’s more comfortable.”
The mare’s eyes shrunk and her nose flared in anger. If there was one thing that she hated, it was being treated like a mere toy. She raised her hand high and swiftly brought it down to strike Eric’s cheek, the sheer impact causing a sickening smack to echo throughout the house. It even left a mark on the human’s face.
The impact of the slap caused Discord’s spell to lose its grip on Eric’s mind, and his colors returned to normal, but Azure was too caught up in her anger, no, too caught up in her fury to notice.
“Oh… what happened…?” he said weakly.
“Don’t play amnesiac with me, you bastard!!!” Azure yelled as she got off of him. “I can’t believe you! What part of ‘no’ didn’t you understand!? You know I hate it when guys act aggressive like that!”
Eric stared up at Azure in confusion. “Aggressive?” he thought. “What is she talking about? I’m anything but aggres- wait… Discord! The spell he cast on me!”
Eric got on his feet and prayed that she would believe him. “Az, you have to believe me. That wasn’t me just then,” he tried to explain. “Discord casted a personality altering spell on me to make me more aggressive.”
“You expect me to believe that!?” she asked in disbelief. “I’m sick of hearing you blame Discord for all your problems! Why don’t you take responsibility for once!?”
“Azzy, I-”
“Don’t call me that!” she interrupted, “Just get out!”
“But-”
“OUT!!!”
Eric was taken aback by the severity of Azure’s last yell. Realizing that nothing he could say could sway her, he decided to comply with the mare’s wishes and left her house. The second he went through the doorway, Azure violently slammed the door behind him. The next sound he heard was that of Azure’s muffled sobbing, which was enough to make him shed tears as well. His sadness quickly subsided, however, as it was replaced by anger and hatred.
“Discord,” he thought vehemently. “You’re gonna pay for this!!”
Discord woke up with a yawn. “Aaaaaaaaaagh~ A nap was just what I needed,” he said to himself. “Now, what time is it?” He looked at the clock hanging on the far wall, but he couldn’t see it very well because of the sleep still escaping his eyes. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, only for them to shrink in horror and fear when he sees the time.
“Oh, fuck!” he exclaimed. “Nine-o-clock!? I was supposed to meet Celestia an hour ago!” All of a sudden, Discord heard a knock on his door. He usually wasn’t one to get scared, but hearing that knocking made his blood freeze. With a nervous gulp, he slowly approached the door. “Coming…” he called out nervously. Discord slowly turned the knob on the door, nut then he decided that instead of prolonging the inevitable, he would instead treat the situation like a band-aid:
Take it off quickly and deal with the pain that followed.
Discord expected to see a furious princess with fire in her eyes, ready to bite his head off, but what he did see was nothing of the sort.
It indeed was Celestia, but she didn’t look the way Discord thought she would. For starters, she wasn’t wearing casual “going out” clothes. Instead she was wearing a short evening dress, one that Discord knew she only wore on special occasions. The princess’s head was down, her mane obscuring her face. She stood there silently for a moment before lifting her head.
Celestia looked at Discord with a blank stare. Her face alone had no expression in it, but Discord could see the dried tears that matted the fur on her face. The emotional contradiction created by the tear marks and the mare’s expression painted a frightening picture, making Discord unsure of what Celestia was feeling.
“I waited for you,” she said bluntly, with no feeling in it whatsoever. Discord couldn’t sense any trace of anger or resentment in her voice at all. “I waited an entire hour for you.”
“I’m really sorry, Celestia,” Discord said. “I took a nap, and I overslept, and-”
“No, no,” she interrupted with a raised hand. “This was my fault. I shouldn’t have expected you to show up.”
“Tia, it’s not like that. If you’ll just listen to me, I can explain-”
“No, you listen to me,” she said cutting him off. Her anger finally started to seep through, but it disappeared as quickly as it had emerged. “I was the idiot for thinking you were serious about this date. Congratulations, Discord. You’ve made a fool out of me again, but that’ll be the last time that happens. I’m done. For good, this time.”
“Tia, I’m serious, I really planned to show up. I just overslept, is all,” Discord tried to explain, only for Celestia to simply ignore him and turn around.
“Goodbye, Discord,” were the last words she said before she left.
The draconequus said nothing as he watched his now ex-marefriend leave him. Inside, he was repeatedly kicking himself for blowing such an important night. He had gotten Celestia’s hopes up, and his own carelessness washed them away. He then heard hoofsteps, no, footsteps coming his way. He looked up and saw Eric walking towards him, and he smiled; even if Discord had a bad night, at least he helped Eric have a good one.
Or so he thought.
Discord smiled and waved at the human, unaware of his seething anger. “Hey, Eric! Good to see you. I hope you had a better night than I’ve had.”
THWACK!!!
Discord yelled in pain as he fell back into his house and instinctively put his hand on his jaw, where Eric’s fist made contact.
“Agh! What was that for!?” he asked.
“That was for ruining my night, asshole!” Eric yelled at him. “I told you to stay out of my business, but you just couldn’t help yourself, could you!?”
“What do you mean?” asked Discord. “What happened?”
“I tried to tell you that Azure hated aggressive guys, but thanks to your stupid spell, I made Azure so uncomfortable that she slapped me and kicked me out!” the human explained. “Because of you, she’ll never want to speak to me again!”
Discord paused for a moment, realizing the damage he’d done. “I didn’t know, Eric,” he said apologetically. “I just wanted to help, I swear.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit!! If you really want to help, then stay away from me!” Eric yelled as he stormed out and slammed the door behind him, heading back to his own house.
Discord stood in his empty living room, the events of the past several minutes still processing in his head. After a few moments, the gravity of how badly he screwed up truly hit him. He just lost his marefriend, and a potential best friend. He was all by himself now, and that hurt him more than anything else.
Eric didn’t go to work the following day, and neither did Azure. Neither of them felt like leaving their houses that day; they were both caught up in their anger and depression.
Eric was angry at Discord for not listening to him and ruining his relationship. Azure was mad at the then-possessed Eric for being so forward despite repeatedly telling him to stop.
Eric was depressed because Azure wouldn’t believe him about Discord. Azure was depressed because her opinion of Eric was shattered the previous night.
Celestia, on the other hand, had exhausted her depression in that hour she waited for Discord, her now ex-boyfriend. She didn’t feel much for him except contempt. Not pure anger, just contempt. For once, she found a good use for her royal paperwork: a distraction from her romantic troubles. Unfortunately, she still had brief moments of distress hitting her every so often; even her royal duties couldn’t fully distract her from her plight.
As for Discord, he decided to go to work that day for the same reason Celestia willingly buried herself in paperwork: to distract himself. Inevitably, Print Stock asked him where Eric was. Out of respect for his neighbor, he simply said that “he wasn’t feeling well.” Being the lenient stallion that he was, and considering Eric’s flawless track record over the past year, Print accepted the excuse.
Discord went through his morning with his mind bouncing back and forth between Eric and Celestia. The one time he tried to be a help to Eric rather than a nuisance, he ruined his relationship with Azure Gem. The one time he decided to treat Celestia like the princess she was, he overslept and made her even angrier with him than she already was, effectively ending their relationship. He started to wonder if this was his fate, to continually cause chaos even when he doesn’t want to.
By the time noon rolled around, Discord felt like he needed some fresh air. He told Print that he was going on his lunch break and that he’d be back in an hour. Now that he was free to roam around the city for a while, he decided to go find a place to eat.
Discord had planned to eat alone, but sometimes the world can throw unexpected things at you.
“Good afternoon, Discord,” said Princess Luna as she approached him.
“Oh, hi, Luna. I didn’t notice you there,” Discord said, preoccupied.
“That’s fine,” she said, waving it off. “How have you been?”
“Not too good…” he admitted. “I thought that Celestia would have told you.”
Luna frowned, something that she’s rarely done in recent years. “Tia’s been rather… silent since last night. She’s been keeping to herself. I’m guessing something happened between the two of you.”
“You mind talking about it over lunch?” Discord asked.
“Not at all,” the princess said with a smile.
“Wow… that’s really sad…” Luna said as Discord finished his story.
“You’re telling me,” he said with lament as he poked at his food. “Even when I don’t try to cause chaos, I end up causing it anyway.”
“This whole episode must have you feeling really messy,” said the princess.
“I think you mean ‘messed up’, Lulu,” Discord corrected. “How is it that I’ve been banished longer than you, but I’m more in touch with modern language?”
“I’d attribute it to your more outgoing nature,” the alicorn explained. “We both know how reserved I was before and right after my banishment. I only started learning the ways of the modern world after my first Nightmare Night.”
“Point taken,” said the draconequus.
“Getting back to what I was about to say,” said Luna, “I do feel sorry for you.”
“Why?” he asked. “This was all my fault. Eric wouldn’t have been mad with me if I had listened to him and Celestia wouldn’t have dumped me if I hadn’t overslept and missed our date.”
“While that is true, your intentions were pure,” she said, “you just didn’t think things through enough.”
“Well, I can’t do anything about it, now,” Discord said in defeat. “Neither of them will even look at me now.”
“If you ask me,” said Luna, “I think you still have a chance to make things right with Eric, at the very least.”
“How?” he asked curiously.
“Well, Azure may be mad with Eric, but she holds no ill will towards you,” she explained. “If you tell her that Eric was telling the truth about your spell, she may forgive him, and Eric will appreciate you trying to help him.”
“There’s no guarantee that that will work,” said Discord.
“That may be so, but even if it doesn’t work, at least you’ll know that you’ve done everything you could,” Luna said reassuringly. “If you’re really lucky, Tia will notice how far you went to help Eric and will consider taking you back.”
Discord paused for a moment, and then he smiled for the first time that day. “Heh, since when did you become so smart?”
“Since when did you become so caring?” the princess retorted.
“Touché, Lulu. Touché.”
With a new objective in mind, Discord got up and started to leave the diner, but then he turned around and put some bits on the table. “To cover the meal,” he said before taking off.
Luna smiled at Discord as he left the diner. “I can’t believe I’m saying this," she thought, "but Discord has become a worthwhile friend. I truly hope that things work out for him.”
Meanwhile, Eric was in his basement, working on his writing. At least, he was trying to work on it. Whenever he got a good flow going, his mind would flash back to Azure. He’d either see glimpses of the anger on her face, or he’d hear her light sobbing. Eric tried taking breaks for water or soda, but they didn’t help him any.
“Maybe I should go outside for a minute,” he suggested to himself. He had promised himself earlier that he would stay indoors that day, but he needed to find some way to clear his mind, and the stuffy basement air wasn’t helping him do that.
Eric got himself dressed and headed outside, but once he took the first step on his porch, he saw somepony familiar walking down his block.
“…Celestia?” he asked, just loud enough for the mare to hear. She looked up at him with an expression of distress that mirrored his.
“Oh… Hello, Eric,” she said.
“I figured you’d be up to your horn in paperwork,” he said.
“I was doing that,” she explained, “but I kept getting distracted, and I thought that I could-”
“Use some fresh air?” Eric finished for her.
“You could say that…” Celestia half-admitted.
The human and the princess stood in silence for what felt like an entire minute before Eric spoke up.
“Want to come in?” he asked. “I could use some company.”
“That sounds nice…” she said.
Eric moved to one side and let the princess into his home. Once he followed behind her and shut the door, he realized something: this was the first time that he’s had someone over to his house, besides Discord. In fact, Discord was the very reason why Eric’s never had anyone over. He didn’t want that pest disturbing him and whoever else he would’ve had over.
“Dammit, why am I thinking about Discord?” he thought to himself.
Celestia would have noticed how distracted Eric was by his thoughts, but she was rather distracted by hers, as well. Canterlot was a relatively large city, so why did she happen to walk down the same street that Discord lived on. Was she hoping that he’d be staying home from work? Was it just some stupid coincidence?
“Dammit, why am I thinking about Discord?” she thought to herself.
Eric noticed that Celestia wasn’t her usual self, and hoped that talking to her about her troubles would distract him from his own.
“Forgive me for prying, but you don’t look so hot, Celestia,” he said. “Is something wrong?”
The princess was flattered by Eric’s concern. She figured that some mild venting would be good for her.
“Well… I broke up with Discord last night,” she said.
Eric gave an exasperated sigh. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t mention him.”
“Why?” she asked curiously.
“I had a falling out with him last night, too,” he admitted.
“It seems like he can’t help but piss others off,” Celestia said with a half-chuckle. “What happened between you two?” “Well, I was going to visit Azure last night because I was told that she stayed home from work, but then Discord kept insisting that I be more aggressive with her,” Eric explained. “I kept telling him that I didn’t want to rush anything, but he just cast a spell on me to change my personality. I ended up making myself look like a sex-crazed jerk in front of Azure, and she kicked me out.”
“Wow…” Celestia said. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Thanks,” Eric said with a small smile, but then he let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t see why he keeps pressuring me push my relationship with Azure to a sexual level just because you two were at that level.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Discord and I have never had sex. Did he tell you that?”
“Not really,” the human explained. “He implied it though. He kept talking about sex like he was an expert.”
The princess chuckled. “Well, unless he’s had a marefriend before me, he’s anything but an expert.”
“So, what did Discord do to piss you off, Tia?”
“Well, he called me yesterday afternoon to set up a date,” she explained. “I was really excited, you know. After a year and a half of this on-and-off thing we had going, he finally decided to plan something romantic for me. I even wore one of my good evening dresses for the occasion. Discord told me to meet him by the fountain in the city square at eight, but I waited for an entire hour. I went over to his house, and sure enough, he was there. He tried to make up some excuse about oversleeping, but I told him that I wasn’t hearing it, and I left him.”
“Serves him right,” Eric said, “although I can’t believe he took me seriously.”
“What do you mean?” asked Celestia.
“Well, I told Discord that he kept taking you for granted and that he should try and do something nice for you for once,” he explained. “I didn’t think he’d actually try though.”
“You seem to be implying that he actually was trying to make me happy and just overslept by accident,” said Celestia.
“Well, you were implying that Discord was actually trying to help my relationship with Azure and that he didn’t mean any harm,” said Eric.
The princess and the human shared a hearty laugh; the found the idea of Discord caring about someone besides himself hilarious.
“I’m glad you’re here Celestia,” said Eric. “It’s nice to have somepony over for once.”
“I can imagine,” she said. “With Discord as your neighbor, you probably never have guests over.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “why did you give Discord so many chances before finally breaking it off?”
The princess sighed. “I don’t know,” she said. “There was just something about him that made me want to give him those chances. There was this weird part of me that found his antics kind of… entertaining.”
“That is weird,” Eric laughed.
“Like you’re one to talk,” said Celestia. “You live next to the guy and he breaks into your house on a daily basis. How were you able to put up with that for over a year?”
Eric shrugged. “Well, after a month of looking for a different place to live and not finding a good place, I eventually gave up,” he said. “I’m not as powerful as you, so I couldn’t make some magical barrier to keep him away. I just tried to get used to it. I’ll admit, though… there were sometimes where I found myself pretty bored by myself.”
“You sound like you miss him,” the princess insinuated.
“Well, you sound like you miss him,” the human said back.
The two shared a hearty laugh, for they both knew that neither of them missed Discord.
Or so they thought…
Discord made his way to Azure Gem’s house, hoping that she was home. “Okay, Decaf said that Azure should be home,” Discord said with a deep sigh. “Hopefully she’ll be in the mood for visitors.”
Discord knocked on the door and waited. He didn’t get a vocal response, but he did hear hoofsteps approaching the door. Said hoofsteps, however, sounded soft and faint, as if Azure was sleepwalking. After nearly a minute, the door finally opened, and Discord was shocked at what he saw.
It was Azure Gem, but she was not the cheery mare she usually was; she was a ghost of her former self.
Fur matted by dried tears, a blank stare, a face that showed no emotion…
When Discord saw the lifeless expression on Azure Gem’s face, he finally realized how much damage he’d actually done.
“Discord?” she said. “What are you doing here?”
“I just came for a visit,” he said. “May I come in?”
Azure looked away from Discord for a moment. She really wasn’t in the mood for visitors, but she thought that talking about her troubles would help her. “Come in,” she said, stepping aside.
“Thank you,” Discord said gratefully as he entered the mare’s home.
“So, what is it you really want?” Azure asked in a monotone voice as she shut the door.
“Pardon?” Discord asked.
“You’ve never been over before, so I doubt you’re here just to visit,” the mare said perceptively.
“Alright, you got me,” said the draconequus, “I heard about what happened with you and Eric, and I just wanted to hear your side of the story.”
Azure sighed. “Fine.” She and Discord took a seat on her couch and she started to explain what had happened from her point of view.
“When I saw Eric last night, I noticed that there was something different about him,” she said. “When he talked to me, he was a lot more direct; it even bordered on abrasive at times. When my back was turned, I could feel him watching me, as usual. Normally, I didn’t mind it. In fact, I sometimes got a kick out of it, but that night… when I felt him looking at me, I felt really uncomfortable, like he was looking at me with intent.”
Azure took a moment to pause before continuing. “Then he started flirting me, and I was really put off by how forward he was. I tried dropping hints, hoping he would get the message, but then… he started to push me into sex.” The mare’s voice started to break at this point. “I told him no, but he just kept teasing me about it. He snatched my glasses from me, and I fell on top of him, and then he joked about how he knew I wanted him… and that’s when I decided that I had had enough.”
“So what did you do?” Discord asked, already knowing the answer.
“I gave him a hard smack across the face, that’s what,” Azure said coldly. “After that, he had the nerve to pretend that he didn’t know what he was doing and that you cast a spell on him to make him act to obnoxiously. The fact that he couldn’t take responsibility for his own actions angered me more than anything else.”
“And that’s when you kicked him out?” Discord guessed.
“Yeah…” said the mare. “It must suck, Discord, having Eric blame you for all his problems. I thought that he was different, but last night had me second guessing my view of him over the past year. Was the Eric that I got to know after all this time just some fake personality?”
“No, Azzy. It’s nothing like that,” the draconequus said reassuringly. “Eric really is a nice guy. Sure, he’s stubborn and he can’t admit when he’s wrong, but he’s really loyal and committed, and I know he’d never willingly do anything to hurt you.”
Azure scoffed at him. “If that’s so, then how can you explain his behavior last night?”
Discord sighed. He knew it was time to fess up. “When Eric was here last night, did you notice anything unusual about his appearance?”
Azure pondered the thought for a moment. “Well, he was overdressed, but aside from that… I did notice that his skin l looked a little gray.”
“There was a reason for that,” Discord explained. “Eric wasn’t lying when he said that I had cast a spell on him. It was a type of personality-altering magic that would make the target assume the personality that the caster wishes for them to have. I noticed how you and Eric hadn’t taken that next step in your relationship and I thought that it was because Eric was just too timid to ask. He tried to tell me that you didn’t like the aggressive types, but I didn’t listen.”
“So… he was telling the truth?” Azure asked, scared to hear the answer.
“Yes, Azure,” Discord said with a nod of his head. “Everything that happened last night happened because of me, and I came here not to just clear Eric’s name, but to apologize. You guys’ relationship was never any of my business, and I was meddling in something I shouldn’t have been meddling in. I hope you can forgive me.”
Azure took a moment to take everything in. In the few minutes that Discord’s been here, he made all of the events that transpired last night make so much more sense. If Eric really was telling the truth, then he wasn’t at fault, which meant that…
“I got so mad at Eric for something that wasn’t his fault…” she said, more to herself than to Discord. Regret was starting to take hold of her. “Even when I noticed that something was off about him, I didn’t even think about it. He must think I’m a total bitch for not listening to him.”
Discord shook his head. “Azzy, I know for a fact that that isn’t the case. If you ask me, he misses you, if anything. He loves you too much to even consider hating you. If he hated anypony it’d be me,” he said “I’m always causing trouble for him, and the one time I think I’m actually helping him, I end up making him more upset with me than ever. The least I can do for the both of you is to help you both make up. If you want, I can take you to his house so you can see him. He deserves a happy relationship.”
Azure looked up at him for a brief moment and finally let a smile form on her face. “Yeah. I’d like that.” She then paused. “What did you mean by ‘he deserves a happy relationship’?”
“Well, Celestia broke up with me for turning down a very important date,” Discord explained. “I had overslept, and she ended up waiting on me for an hour. When I saw you when I got here, your expression reminded me of Celestia’s when she showed up at my doorstep.”
“Oh…” said Azure. “Well, I hope things work out between you two. I’m sure she’d consider giving you another chance if she knew how far you were going for Eric and me.”
Discord smiled. “Speaking of ‘going,’ let’s get going.”
Meanwhile, Eric and Celestia started to feel a little better, reveling in their shared dislike for that abomination of chaos.
“So, Celestia,” Eric asked, “why did you keep this on-and-off thing with Discord going for so long?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a chuckle. “He just had something about him that made me take him back every time. It was like he had some kind of… charm to him.”
“Ha! Charm!” Eric said with a hearty laugh. “You’re hilarious, Celestia!”
“Actually…” she said, “as much as I’d hate to admit it, I’m not joking, Eric. It’s just that… even though Discord frustrates me to no end, he still finds a way to make me smile sometimes.”
“You’re serious?” he asked, receiving a nod of the head from Celestia as a response. “He always finds a way to make you smile, huh?”
Just then, there was a knock on Eric’s door. “Were you expecting anypony else over?” the princess asked.
“Not that I know of,” the human replied as he got up to answer the door. He curiously opened his front door, only to be taken aback by seeing Discord and Azure Gem at his doorstep. He wasn’t sure who he was more surprised to see.
Discord and Azure were also surprised that Eric had Celestia over, firstly because they expected her to be swamped with work, and secondly because Eric’s never had company over to his house. The four of them all stood and stared at each other in silence.
“Azure,” said Eric.
“Eric,” said Azure.
“Celestia,” said Discord.
“Discord,” said Celestia.
The one-word greetings were followed by another painfully awkward moment of silence. After what felt like a whole two minutes, Azure was the first to speak up.
“Eric… can we talk in private?” she asked.
He paused for a second and said. “Okay.” He walked upstairs and Azure quietly followed him, leaving Discord and Celestia alone on the ground floor.
“I’ll just… let myself in,” the draconequus said as he entered the house, shutting the door behind him.
Eric led Azure up to his room, where the late afternoon sun was sufficient enough to light the room without any other lights having to be on.
“You can take a seat, if you want,” he offered.
“It’s okay, I’d rather stand,” she respectfully declined.
“Fair enough,” he said, and then he took a deep breath before continuing. “So, what brings you here with Discord?”
“Well, he came to my house earlier today,” Azure explained. “He asked me about what happened last night, and he told me that you were telling the truth about him…” Her voice started to break towards the end of that sentence, and tears started to fall from her eyes. “I’m really sorry, Eric. I should’ve known better than to think you were actually that aggressive. I shouldn’t have hit you or yelled at you, and I should’ve had more trust in you. I really hope you’re not mad at me.”
Eric sighed. “No, you should’ve been mad,” he said. “Any self-respecting mare would react that way to that kind of person. Plus, you did have a point last night. I do blame Discord for all my problems, even when he has nothing to do with it. I guess I should give the guy more credit, considering that he went this far to fix his mistake.” He walked up to Azure and gave her a tight hug, and then he loosened the hug a little so he could look the mare in the eyes. “You mind if I take your glasses for a second?” he asked.
Azure shook her head. “Not at all,” she said.
Eric smiled and removed the mare’s glasses from her face. With nothing obstructing him, Eric used his thumb to wipe away Azure’s tears. Now that her face was dry, he took in her emerald colored eyes. The light from the sun combined with her still-moist eyes caused them to shine beautifully.
“You have amazing eyes,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said with a blush.
Eric returned the blush as he put Azure’s glasses back on her face. With her eyes dried and a smile adorning his marefriend’s face, he pulled her closer to him again.
“I love you, Azzy,” he said.
“I love you, too, Eric,” she said back.
The second Azure and Eric went up the stairs, Discord and Celestia started to awkwardly eye each other. Celestia was the first to speak up.
“So, what brings you here with Azure Gem?” she asked.
“I paid her a visit earlier today,” he answered.
“What for?” she asked.
“I caused a fight between her and Eric, and I needed to make things right between them,” Discord explained as he approached Celestia. She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You were always telling me that I’m irresponsible, and you’re right. I always made the excuse that I was the embodiment of chaos and that it was in my nature, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been taking you for granted. I took advantage of all the chances you gave me until I didn’t have any more.”
Celestia was taken aback by Discord’s words; it wasn’t because of the words themselves, but because they came from him. She started to reconsider what she did last night. “When did you get so insightful?” she asked.
“I guess Eric’s starting to rub off on me,” he admitted.
Celestia sighed. “Well, maybe I could give you one more chance.”
“You mean it, Tia?” Discord asked with a hopeful smile.
The princess nodded her head. “If you went out of your way to fix your own mistake… then I guess you weren’t as irresponsible as I thought.”
Discord smiled and gave Celestia a hug. “Thanks, Tia,” he said.
“You’re welcome, Dizzy,” she said with a blush, and she kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush as well. “So, would you like to try that date again?”
“I’d love to,” he answered. “Maybe if things work out between Eric and Azure, we could make it a double date?”
“That sounds good to me,” said somepony from upstairs. Discord and Celestia turned their heads to see Eric and Azure Gem, coming down the stairs. “What day is good for you guys?” asked Azure.
“Friday night’s good for me,” Celestia answered. The two mares proceeded to plan the entire night, with Eric and Discord awkwardly standing there. Even after Azure and Celestia finished planning, said goodbye, and left the house, the human and the draconequus were still standing idly by, looking at each other the whole time.
Eric made up with Azure, and Discord made up with Celestia, but now Eric and Discord had to make up with each other, and that could prove to be the biggest challenge yet.
Final Chapter: Finally Friends [With New Author's Note!]
Discord and Eric continued to awkwardly look at each other, the situation getting more uncomfortable by the minute. With a gulp, Eric started to say something.
“So… you told Azure that I was telling the truth?” he asked.
“Yeah…” said Discord.
“Why?” Eric asked.
“Because I owed you,” Discord explained as he walked towards the couch and slumped into it. “It was my fault that you and Azure had that fight in the first place. What made me feel worse was that I was only trying to help.”
“Help?” Eric asked as he followed him to the couch and sat next to him.
“Well, yeah. I was telling you to be more assertive because I thought that Azure would grow bored of you and move on to someone else. I didn’t know that she preferred a non-aggressive relationship. In the end I just wanted you to be more confident.”
As Eric took in Discord’s words, he began to feel bad about lashing out at him. He sighed deeply and looked down at the floor. “I didn’t know that you were actually trying to help me,” he said, more to himself than to Discord “Luna was right; I am stubborn. I’m sorry for overreacting last night.”
“Don’t be,” the draconequus said with a raised hand. “I deserved ever bit of it. After tormenting you for over a year, I had it coming.”
“Even so, I can’t be too mad at you,” said the human. “I mean, you’re the embodiment of chaos. It’s in your nature. I guess it was just your way of having fun. I never thought of that until now because of how close-minded I was.”
“So I guess we both have flaws about ourselves that we need to work on,” Discord said, risking a smile. “I’ll try not to pester you so much.”
“And I’ll try not to be so uptight and blame all my problems on you,” Eric said, returning the smile.
“So… we’re cool?” Discord asked.
“Yeah,” said Eric. “We’re cool.”
They both chuckled and bumped fists, finally becoming friends. “So,” said the draconequus, “Looks like we’ll be taking our marefriends to dinner on Friday night. Did you catch the name of the restaurant?”
“Jack’s Bistro. It’s the one with the mountainside view,” the human answered.
“Wait… isn’t that the really expensive one?” Discord asked.
“Oh yeah… Looks like we’ll have to work overtime for the next few days,” said Eric.
“Why are you complaining? You’re assistant manager. Your salary is twice as big as mine.”
“If we’re gonna be eating at Jack’s Bistro, we’re both gonna need every bit we can get.”
“Hopefully, the mare’s will give us a reward after the date, if you catch my drift,” Discord said with a wink.
Eric smirked. “Well, according to Celestia, it’ll be the first time you’ve ever gotten a ‘reward’ from her,” he said.
Discord’s eyes shrunk to the size of pin pricks and he started to blush. “Wait, Celestia told you that I was a virgin!?” he asked in shock.
Eric let out a loud laugh. “No, she just told me that you never had sex with her. You told me that you were a virgin. You just snitched on yourself!”
“I’ll have to talk to Tia about that big mouth of hers,” Discord said with disdain.
Eric and Discord’s double date turned out to be a relative success. Celestia was able to get the table with the best view, and she got Luna to set up a beautiful night just for them.
Eric and Discord, didn’t get a “reward,” in case you were wondering.
As time went on, Discord and Eric became really good friends. Eric was finally able to have visitors over to his house without worrying about Discord spoiling anything. They even had their own guy’s night every week so they could spend time away from the mares.
Eric and Azure Gem’s relationship became stronger than when it first formed. Discord still offered advice from time to time, only this time in the form of flirting tips. When put into practice, Azure would always blush. He eventually made it a game to see how red he could make her face when he complimented her about how soft her mane felt of how nice her coat smelled. Eric had Azure Gem over to his house often so she could look over his writing and help him out with ideas, and he eventually submitted his work to a Canterlot publisher.
Discord and Celestia’s on-and-off routine finally ended, and they’ve maintained a steady relationship since making up. Learning from his past mistakes, Discord started to make an effort to spend more time with the princess, and with help from Eric and Azure, he finally cleaned up his pigsty of a house so Celestia could visit him if she wanted to. Discord still didn’t get to lose his virginity yet, but that was the least of his concerns.
As for Luna, she continued to follow her “living single” philosophy. The nobles of Canterlot still pined for her hand in marriage, and their squabbles amongst each other entertained the Princess of the Night to no end.
ONE YEAR LATER
It was a relatively warm afternoon when Discord and Eric were walking home from work, with Azure and Luna tagging along.
“So, Lulu,” said Eric. “Whatever happened to that entrepreneur that kept harassing you for the past few weeks. I haven’t seen him all day.”
“Oh, I had two of my night guards pay him a visit,” she explained. “I asked them to intimidate him a little so that he wouldn’t hassle me anymore.”
“Actually, the word is…” Eric said, preparing to correct the princess, only to realize that she had actually gotten the word right “Wow, you actually got a modern phrase right for once. I guess you’re finally getting used to modern language.”
“That’s right!” Luna said with a satisfied smile. “I’m finally getting the hangar!”
“I think you spoke too soon, Eric,” Azure said with a chuckle.
“Oh, Luna, when will you ever get the hang of this?” Discord laughed, receiving a roll of the eyes from the princess.
When the group finally reached Eric’s house, Eric checked the mail and found one letter in the mailbox. He didn’t bother to look at who it was from, and he unlocked the front door to let everypony in. Once Eric entered the house and closed the door behind him, he finally took a look at the letter, and his eyes widened in surprise.
“What is it, Eric?” Azure asked, immediately noticed the look on his face.
“It’s from Canterlot Publishing,” he said, unsure of whether he’s supposed to be surprised or worried. “They finally wrote back to me…”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Luna said. She felt excited despite the fact that she knew the letter wasn’t for her. “Open it!”
Eric took a deep breath and nervously tore the envelope open. He unfolded the letter inside and began to read what was on the paper.
Dear Mr. Quincy,
I apologize for the long wait, but I was finally able to look over the writing samples you sent me. I have given it much thought, and I must admit that your writing is very solid. There is a unique style that you have, and you have a talent for writing in a broad range of genres. I was particularly impressed with the one pilot chapter you wrote, and I have decided to offer you a five-year publishing contract with that story being your first novel publication. We can meet later to discuss the details, so please reply back soon with a list of dates when you will be available for a meeting. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely, First Edition Editor, Canterlot Publishing
Eric was speechless when he finished reading the letter, and Discord, Azure, and Luna began to congratulate him.
“What did I tell you?” said Discord. “You had nothing to worry about.”
“I look forward to reading your first novel!” said Luna.
Azure ran up to Eric and wrapped him up in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, sweetie!” she said excitedly. “I knew you could do it!”
“Thanks, Azzy,” he said. “You know, this could be a good time to tell Discord and Luna about you-know-what.”
The alicorn and the draconequus gave looks of confusion and curiosity. “What do you mean?” asked Luna.
“Well, Az and I have been dating for over a year now,” Eric explained, “and we decided to move in together.”
“Really?” asked Discord. “That’s excellent news!”
“Since Eric has the house with more room, I’ll be moving here with him,” said Azure. “We’ll be moving all my stuff out of my place this weekend.”
“Aww, that’s so romantic!” Luna swooned.
“Says the mare that wants to stay single for the next nineteen years,” Discord snickered.
“Hush, you. Just because I’m not interested in a relationship doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate romance,” the princess huffed.
After lounging around and chatting for a while, Luna and Azure Gem, left Eric’s house, leaving him and Discord alone.
“So, Eric,” said the draconequus. “You’re still going to help me with that thing today, right?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You’ve made all the preparations, right.”
Discord snapped his fingers and a tuxedo appeared on him. “Of course,” he said.
As Eric and Discord walked through the halls of Canterlot Castle, Discord started to shiver.
“I don’t know if I can do this…” he said.
“Will you relax?” Eric said. “After two years of telling me how much of a pussy I was, you can’t back out now.”
“I’m not afraid to look like a hypocrite, Eric,” Discord retorted. “I will jump out that window right now!”
SMACK!
“I needed that,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” Eric said, shaking that stinging feeling out of his hand. “Now you have the flowers?”
“Yes,” the draconequus said, holding out the bouquet of roses he was carrying.
“You got the you-know-what?”
“Yes,” he said, taking a small black box from his tuxedo pocket.
“Okay, then you just go in and do your thing,” Eric assured. “You and Celestia haven’t fought once since you’ve made up a year ago, and you’ve been putting a lot of effort into strengthening your relationship. If you ask me, she’d be crazy to say no.”
Discord chuckled. “This is coming from the guy that used to hate my guts.”
“Well, after you helped me and Az get back together, I realized how loyal you can be,” said Eric. “Plus, I was being kind of an asshole myself, so it’s not like I wasn’t at fault either.”
Discord chuckled again. “That’s for sure,” he said. “Oh, before I forget, when you said that your pilot chapter got greenlighted as a novel, what was that story about?”
Eric looked away from him for a second, as if he was embarrassed about something. “Well, it’s about a guy that moves to a new place and finds out that he has a new neighbor. They don’t start off on good terms, but they soon come together as good friends.”
The draconequus smiled softly and asked “Do you have a title?”
The human smiled back and answered. “Yeah, Chaos Next Door.”
Discord put his hand on his chin in a thinking pose. “Meh, I’m not really feeling it. You should keep experimenting.”
“Screw you,” Eric said jokingly. “That’s an awesome title, and you know it!”
“You can do better than Chaos Next Door,” Discord said teasingly.
“Don’t you have a princess to see?” Eric asked.
Discord chuckled and made his way to Celestia’s office. Once he knocked on the door, he turned back to look at Eric, who gave him a thumbs up. Discord returned the gesture, and then he heard Celestia’s voice from inside saying “Come in.” The draconequus gulped and entered the office hesitantly, leaving Eric outside.
Eric promised Discord that he’d wait outside to either congratulate him if things went well, or console him if things didn’t go so well, but Eric was sure that there was nothing to worry about. He turned around and looked outside the window in the hallway, which had a great view of Canterlot.
He could see the bookstore, where he had gotten his first job in Equestria.
He could see the coffee shop, where Azure Gem worked.
He could see the diner where he, Luna, Azure, and Discord would go to lunch.
He could see Azure’s house, where he had his first kiss with her.
And lastly, he could see his house and Discord’s where they’ve lived for a good two years. All the memories, good and bad, but mostly good, came back to him, and he thought to himself that even if he could have changed anything, he wouldn’t, because he’d miss out on having a worthwhile friend.
Eric’s train of thought was interrupted by a squeal of joy coming from Celestia’s office. A smile adorned his face when he realized what had just happened.
“I told you, Discord,” he thought. “You had nothing to worry about.”
