One soldier's journey back home and discovery of a friend
Back home from "The Sandbox", one soldier tries to rebuild and restart his life. Though broken and depressed from battle, he is unsure about his place in life. Still living inside the bottle, he discovers MLP:FiM, which gives him hope and motivation to carry on. But his trip to the Central Library one day is what seals the fate of this soldier's future.
A small salute to those who have put themselves on the line and those who are going to.
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It’s been 5 months, 1 week, and 4 days since I returned from across the sea, from the small piece of hell in the desert. Now I find myself walking the cold dark streets of this city I call home. Alone, because it’s the only thing I know now. It’s been tough readjusting. One moment everyone and their brother are trying to put a bullet in my head, the next I’m back home and everyone and their brother is happy to see me home. The nights are the worst. The dreams, or nightmares, bring me back to scenes that I wish I left over there. Feeling the jolt of the rifle in my hands as I sent a bullet downrange to end a man’s life. Seeing the man topple over as your comrades congratulate on a nice shot. Holding my friend in my arms as he breaths his last, his blood soaking into my uniform, telling him…lying to him…everything is going to be all right. Hearing the sound of a RPG, feeling the blast, having the world go black around me, then waking up in a hospital in Germany. I rub my chest at that thought, reminiscing the weeks of recovery. “Damn lucky,” I think to myself.
Counseling hasn’t helped much. Trying to explain life and death situations to a man who has never been in those situations doesn’t help the problem. Even the military professionals designed to help people in similar conditions like me. I think isn’t doing much. The only friends and family I have left are my brothers-in-arms. Even they only stop by for a small amount of time. Drinking only does so much, and it doesn’t help when I’m only in my early twenties and I feel older than most of them at the bar. I’ve become a bit of a hermit in my apartment, leaving only to go to work and the bar on occasions. The walls adorned with memorabilia of the past. Movie posters, pictures of family, sketches and painting I did while overseas, most still jumbled up in a pile on or around the desk in the living room. The only picture of my military days is of myself with my good friend Paul. Dressed in our “full battle rattle”, smiling like the idiots we were back then out in the desert. A few empty bottles of beer are on the table in the kitchen or in front of the couch. I try to keep it clean, but why bother when you rarely have guests over.
Though, in the last couple of months I found something that has been working. It started with late night browsing the Internet and I stumbled on something, a corner of the Internet dedicated to show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Strange that people other than the targeted demographic, young girls, would watch, much less love the show. Yet, I’m up on Saturday mornings, drinking my coffee to the new episode. Watching all the colorful little ponies smile, laugh, and sing is somehow heart-warming. It’s just hard to explain. Maybe the fact that it shows some good left in the world, albeit not our world, it just makes me feel better.
But tonight, I walk alone to the bar. I pull my jacket around tighter around my body on this cold night. Cars rushing by, it’s Friday night, everyone is out. Thankfully or not, my apartment is only a few blocks away from the bar. I open the door of the bar and let the warm air rush over me as I walk in. It’s a bit more crowded then I would like it to be, but today, I really don’t care. Tonight has meaning and it means I have to drink. I push through the crowd of people at the bar and flag down bartender, Bill Young is his name. He’s a bit of stereotypical bartender, balding, mid-60s, but he’s a veteran like myself, so he understands where I am coming from. He knows me better than anyone would hope to. Hell, I’m a bit of talker when I drink, but Bill doesn’t seem to mind. I think he’s just glad that I am talking about my experience with someone. He’s one of the few people I would call a good friend these days.
“What will it be tonight, son?” Bill asked, flinging a towel over his shoulder. “Would you like a water and try your luck with the ladies or a couple shots of vodka then try your luck with the ladies?’
Laughter, something I rarely do, “No ladies tonight Bill. Just a shot of vodka and a Shiner for a friend of mine.” Bill nods and goes to get my drinks, giving me a moment to look around the bar. Groups of people are laughing and having a good time. Old men are with women half their age. Men and women stumbling arm in arm out the door. I’m not sure whether to laugh or shake my head. Bill comes back and puts the drinks in front of me.
“Look,” he says. “Drinks are on me tonight.” His look grows serious, “But don’t dwell on the past too much, ok? Take care tonight, I’ll try to make sure you don’t go home with any strange women.”
“You always have my back, Bill. Thank you.” He nods and walks to take care of his next customer. I grab the drinks and walk to a booth in the back. Putting the beer on one side and the vodka on the other, I sit down behind the vodka. Staring at the beer for the longest time, I manage to formulate thoughts in my head.
“Damn it, Paul. Of all the damn luck” I think aloud. “Just a few feet difference and this would be a different conversation.” Gripping the shot glass tighter as I slam it home. Closing my eyes as I enjoy the burn as the cold liquid goes down. I stare at the beer for a short while till I grab that as well and proceeded to sip it down slowly.
I don’t even notice how fast the time flies. I check my watch, nearly one am. The bar isn’t nearly as packed as it once was three hours ago. The air is still thick with smoke and small talk. The sounds of billiards been played accents the rock music playing in the background. Turning my head to get a look of the people still here. It’s a scene of too many old men trying to relive their youth and women trying to get a free drink or two. I catch the eye of a brunette girl, who has been staring in my direction for the longest time now. By the look of her, she’s barely old enough to drink, her hair is just perfectly brown (probably dyed), her dress is two sizes too small, and her breasts appear to be bigger than her head. The only response I only I can formulate is to roll my eyes and shake my head slightly. “Not tonight,” I think to myself. Grabbing the empty bottle I walk to the bar and place it on the bar.
“Another drink, kid? Or are you finally done with tonight? Not that I don’t blame you,” Bill remarks cleaning a glass.
“Don’t blame me? Hell Bill, I thought you were a bartender; you’re starting to sound like my therapist. Next you’ll be asking how that makes me feel and if I want a tissue” I reply.
“Kid, after all my many years here, the jobs become one in the same. What has is been, a year?” I wince a bit at that comment. “Oh, so it has been.” He pauses and sets down the glass he was cleaning. “Kid, we all lose someone when we’re over there. Drinking won’t bring him anymore back than he is now. The most you can do is live in memory of him. Make his sacrifice worth something. ‘Nam wasn’t any better. I can’t count how many friends I lost. But do something other than drink.”
I smile and nearly laugh. “You know, you’ll be losing your best tipper.”
He chuckles at that, “If it’s worth seeing you better and not mopping about my bar, scaring young women. I think I can live with that.”
I pull out a fifty and lay it on the bar and extend my hand. “Thanks Bill.” He grasps my hand firmly, shaking twice. “Good luck, kid.” He says with a smile.
And with that, I walk about of the bar and into the night. Lost in my own thoughts as I walk to my apartment. My thoughts are everywhere, feelings just as scattered. I think, like I always do, what I could’ve done differently. The sudden and sad realization is nothing. I can’t change the past. I finally arrive at my apartment building, opening the door and walking up the same 5 flights of stairs like I always have. Fumbling with my keys, finding the right one, and finally unlocking the door, I stumble through the door. Tossing the keys on the small table by the door, throwing my jacket on the couch as I walk to my bedroom. I barely hit the bed before I am asleep.
Gunfire. This dust-covered street of this desert town has become my personal hell. My squad is spread on either side of the street. Enemy bullets kick up dirt and knock plaster off of the building by them. Ryan is on the machine gun, perched up on a car covering Darvon who is on the radio calling for backup. His screams into the mike are lost to me from across the street. The gunfire is deafening. A tap on my shoulder, Paul is behind me. He tries to say something, but it’s lost in the noise. Gunfire, shouts, bullets flying angrily through the air. A target appears on a roof, rifle raised, I fire a burst and the target falls as quickly as it appeared.
We know we are in a bad place. The enemy just keeps coming. I watch Darvon get hit in the shoulder. He yells something incoherent, pulls out his pistol and fires at something. Another tap on the shoulder, it’s Paul again. He points at Darvon. I nod and signal him three with my fingers. I pump my fist at zero and he takes off across the street, while I stand and give covering fire. He gets to Darvon and begins to administer first aid. And then suddenly, the sounds of angels flying overhead: Blackhawks. They begin their circling death, sending fire and brimstone down on the enemy. Ryan cheers, letting loose a fifteen second burst from the machine gun.
The gunfire subsides, and quiet returns to the dust covered streets. The angels above were mopping up the last of the resistance. Slowly standing up, rifle at the ready, I bound to cover, nearly getting to Paul and Darvon. There is a faint whoosh sound in the distance. “RPG, RPG!” Looking to Paul, I follow where he’s pointing and yelling at. I see it, flying right towards me.
Awaking with a start, I immediately begin to pat down my body. Searching for any marks or blood. Finding none, my breathing begins to slow. I slump back onto the bed. “ It’s only a damn dream again,” thinking aloud. “I’m probably going to be reliving that damn street forever. I’m just lucky to be here”. Checking the bedside clock, it’s only 8am. “Damn, but at least it’s Saturday.” Rolling out of bed, going through the normal routine. Quick stretches, letting my back pop, then stumble into the kitchen to ready the coffee. From there, it’s to the shower to let the warm water run over my body. It’s only ten minutes, but it’s a relaxing eternity. Drying myself off and getting a fresh set of clothes on, I walk back to the kitchen.
It doesn’t take long to get my coffee the way I like it. Nor does it take long to drink the first cup and pour a second. Grabbing the TV remote, I change the channel till I find a news show. The News Anchors go on about the economy, the escalation of violence in the Middle East, and then political pundits talk about the different candidates slotted for election. “Same shit, different day,” I mumble to myself. The second cup goes down just as the first. Thankfully I am able to find the remote before the newscast starts on their celebrity gossip. Besides it’s all bullshit anyways. It’s Saturday morning, there’s something better on anyways. Ponies. It’s quite strange that I would be ecstatic in watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. A military man that has dealt death watching a show targeted for ten-year-old girls. I don’t know why either. Hell, it just makes me happy. I jump the couch and land on the cushions just as the theme starts. Sipping my coffee slowly with a smile, it’s thirty minutes of bliss. Thirty minutes of watching Twilight Sparkle (whom I think personally is absolutely wonderful) and her friends learn about friendship and about themselves. It’s something about her character that draws me to her. Her caring nature, her smile or voice, could it be her love of knowledge, or maybe the violet stripe through her mane.
Whatever it may be, I am just content with watching her and her friend’s adventures on the screen. Lost in into their world. It’s a guilty pleasure, something I know all my battle-buddies would laugh at. I chuckle at that thought, finishing off my coffee as the show ends. The routine continues, but with a smile. Breakfast is made, bacon and eggs with a side of more coffee. Reading the newspaper on what is now wrong in the more local world: new city policies, the mayor’s scandals, what the school districts are apparently doing wrong, what might be in our water. Just same ole shit. By this time, the coffee has been drunk dry and I’m about to bounce off the walls like Pinkie Pie. But it’s a Saturday and usually, like today, I don’t have work. I have to keep weekends off for Training Exercises or drill that my Battalion has on occasion, but not this weekend. Glancing at my desk and all my drawing. I’m in no mood to draw, whatever inspiration I once had, has long since past. There’s still nothing good to be seen on the television. My body decides to collapse back on the couch. My mind decides to spend this time lost in thoughts.
The next few hours go by fast. My thoughts adrift, my feelings send me on a roller coaster. “What went wrong,” I ask myself. Of all the things that I could’ve done to put me here, what could it be? I never really drank before my deployment. Then it was only for special occasions or a Friday night out with the guys. Now, it has become an everyday occurrence. I can’t drown my feelings or thoughts, they always return, with force. Most of my friends are either at home with their family, becoming distant with me, or have been killed. There isn’t really much I have going for me. Just waiting around in one job, awaiting another deployment back into the God-forsaken desert. Which is bound to happen sometime soon. Same shit, just another day.
Pulling myself off the couch, “fuck, whatever.” Rubbing my face, “I need to get out of here.” But where? I really don’t have any place to go and I don’t have to work. “But where?!?” I asked myself again. An idea just appeared. “The Library!” standing up off the couch and grabbing my coat. “What a brilliant idea,” I thought to myself as I walked out the door, locking it behind me.
I open the door into the fresh air of the outside. Joining the morning rush of the city, walking with a spring in my step, I start walking. The Library is a long walk from my apartment, but I could care less. I’m out of the apartment and moving with something to do. With the people moving around me on the sidewalk, the rush of cars passing by, I feel at ease. Calm around complete strangers. The city feels more alive than I remember it being: the cars, the people, and the businesses. People going about there everyday lives: laughter in the street side cafés, friendly greeting on the street corner between two friends. “It’s probably the smile on my face,” thinking to myself.
In any case, it’s a twenty, twenty-five-minute walk, nothing too difficult. Back in my “glory” days, my company would march for miles with at least 150 pounds of equipment. I chuckle, “glory” days. I’m not even thirty yet and I’m reminiscing about my “glory” days.
The Central Library, the marble engraved sign says. The building itself speaks aloud of Roman architecture: the marble columns, the archways, the marble lion sculptures, even the Roman numerals signifying the date the building was built. The library is a monument to the once great and bountiful Roman Empire. Oh how I wish Caesar could see how much his influence has spread and for how long. He would’ve been proud.
Walking into a strange new world entering the front doors. A sense of awe washed over me. It may have only been a library, but it felt like I was entering a coliseum, with thousands of spectators watching as I entered the ring, waiting for me to make my move. Walking down each aisle of books, recalling what few books I read in school. It feels… hell; it’s been too long. Scanning the shelves for something familiar, I knell to get a better look for books on the bottom shelf. My hands guide me to Charles Dickens: Great Expectations. I pick up the hardback book, not sure what to do with it. “Maybe read the back,” I think. “Look like you are doing something.”
“That is quite an amazing book, you know?” A voice behind me started to say. “The way the Dickens uses Pip’s guilt, as a reason for his actions is brilliant. Pip, oh where do I start with him? The novel is supposed to be ‘coming of age’ sorts, but I feel as though it doesn’t happen. Also, personally, I really like Dickens first original ending over the second. The first matches with Dickens’ original writing style. But, that’s just my opinion.”
“Well, I guess you could say,” standing with a smile and turning to the voice. “You have great…” I couldn’t formulate my next words. She’s standing in front of me: a woman, appearing to be about mid-twenties with dark, near purple eyes. Black long hair highlighted with a violet stripe. Purple t-shirt with a black sweater over that, and a black skirt matching the curves of her body. A stack of books held in her arms. A loss of words is where I am. I found her, that’s all I could get running through my mind.
“Have great, what? I have great, what?” she asked. Giving me a strange look.
“Oh right, sorry. You just look really familiar. And um what I was trying to say was, you must have Great Expectations of this book.” I nervously responded. “A um, book joke.”
“Oh… OH, like someone else. Don’t worry, I get that a lot.” she started to giggle a bit. “And I can’t say I haven’t heard that one before and believe me, I’ve heard a lot of book jokes. By the way,” she extended her hand. “My name is Twilight, but some of my friends call my Twi.”
“Twi, huh?” I respond, shaking her hand. Wow. “Name’s Toby Miller, and the pleasure is all mine. I take it you’re not from around here, are you?” I smile.
She looked a bit distressed. “What? Why would you say that? Of course I’m from around here!”
“Oh, it’s just that you’re um accent, along with your name. It’s just not local, that’s all.”
“Well, that’s just what my parents named me, and I’m quite fond of my name, thank you very much.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean any offense. Anyways, would you like to answer my next question then?”
“And what question would that be now?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Do you come here often?” I’m forcing myself to not laugh.
“Oh, of course I do. The library is a wealth of knowledge. How can one not come here often?” She squeals with excitement. “After all my classes at the University, it feels like I live here sometimes. So, are you going to read that book, because I’d really love to read it again, Dickens is such an amazing writer, I just have to read it again.”
“Huh,” looking at Great Expectations. “Well, seeing as I haven’t read it before.”
“You haven’t read this book!” she said, taken aback. “That’s a crime against literature, I’ll just have to wait for you to finish it then. Now I feel bad telling you about the book.”
“Look, it’s alright. I can wait. I’m quite sure you would enjoy the book more than I would.”
“Oh, no no no no no., I couldn’t do that I insist. Take the book, please. I really do think all should read this book. So, read it.”
“Ok… I will if that makes you feel better.” She smiled and walked past me then around the corner and out of sight. The aroma as she walked past was intoxicating. I never smelt anything like that. I will have to say; I was never driven more quickly to madness than letting her walk away. Taking a deep breath, I followed after her, not letting this moment slip away from me. “Hey, I…” but she was gone, nowhere to be seen. “Well, shit. Nice going, Toby. You let her get away.” I remarked, thinking aloud.
“You know I’m right behind you, right?” her voice came out of nowhere, cause me to jump, my heart to skip a beat.
“You know,” taking a deep breath and turning. “You shouldn’t scare a man like that.”
“Well, I thought there was something you wanted to ask me, so I came back.” A smile appeared on her face. And how beautiful of a smile… I could’ve died right there and been content with my life.
“I was um wondering if um…” she looked at me with confusion. “Well, I’m no good with the whole book reading thing. I was wondering if you would like to help me out with understanding of the book?”
Her face lit up with excitement, “Oh, of course, I’d love to!” Twi squealed with happiness. “Come on then,” grabbing my arm and dragging me with her. “We have much learning to do!”
The next two weeks were a blur. We spent whole days at the library. Great Expectations was just the beginning, the first day really. Next we covered books by Twain, Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, Geothe, Hemingway just to name a few. I would read every night to try and get ahead to surprise her. I even missed the new episodes of My Little Pony to either read or see her for coffee. But no matter how much I read ahead or how much I thought I understood clearly, she knew every detail of the book, author, everything. I was quite amazed. She’d spend a few hours explaining the book then we’d talk about some of the deeper aspects of the book. Of course it was more of her talking, and me listening but I didn’t mind at all. Being there with her was more than enough. Of course I made the jokes just to hear her giggle, to see her smile. Usually we both went our separate ways, only occasionally getting dinner together even then it was only to continue our discussion over the book we were reading.
When we actually talked about something other than books, I still rarely talked. There is much about my past I still I cannot forget, nor wish to talk about. I wasn’t about to scare off Twi, not someone who I found safe to be around. Ever since I began to meet with Twi, the nightmares began to stop. I used to have them at least once or twice a night. Now though, even after two weeks, I really haven’t had a nightmare. That first night though, after meeting her, I slept more soundly than I have ever had, even the time before I was shipped to basic training. Hell, I even had images of her dancing about my head. Her smile, the radiance in her eyes, her giggle as she laughed at my terrible jokes, all of it was oh so beautiful, so pure.
There would be times I was with her that I could feel her stare, feel her glancing my way. Hell, I even caught her a few times. She would even act like she wasn’t, playing her innocence, which I didn’t mind. Good, I at least knew I was getting to her as she was getting to me.
It was like this for a while, and I was enjoying every moment of it. Eventually, we got out of fiction and picked personal accounts. The first one picked was by a Russian, a Russian solider, Arkady Babchenko and his book One Soldier’s War. Which was about his accounts of the first and second Chechen conflicts and I couldn’t bare to read it. My hands were shaking when I read the first few pages. Babchenko’s words hit home, nothing was spared in his work. It was very brutal, very… real.
“Toby,” Twi said, placing her hand on my arm. “We don’t have to read this. I just choose this because I thought you would want to read something other than all of these over the top, well written novels. I just assumed you wanted something different.”
“It’s fine, really. We can read it. It’s just his raw nature of his words that startle me. It’s too familiar.”
“Familiar?” The look on her face asked for more answers, but knew she wouldn’t get them. “We don’t have to read it, really. If it troubles you that much, we don’t have to,” then grabbing my hand and squeezing, “promise.”
“I just, I can’t do this tonight. We can do this, just not now.”
“That’s perfectly understandable. It’s late anyways, we can call it a night anyways,” Twi spoke with such reassurance and with such a look on her face; it made my heart nearly stop. “Why don’t we go for a walk? I think that would help.”
“Yeah, I think that would help,” pushing myself up and away from the table, “where to then, Twi?”
“Hmm,” she thought with a smile walking towards me. “Well, let’s walk around, maybe grab a drink somewhere?” Wrapping herself around my arm, “I think a drink or two would lighten you up, don’t you think?” Her questioning eyes peering into my soul.
“You’re probably right, a drink sounds wonderful. I think I know of a great place for that.”
“A place? What’s wrong with your place? I’m curious as to what you call home?”
“Um… but…” I fidgeted nervously as she ran her finger along my chest. “Sure, why not? I’m not sure what I have for drinks, but I think I can find something.”
“I’m sure whatever you have will do just fine,” she giggled. “I know how to hold my drink. Lead the way then, Toby.” Gesturing to the door. I shook my head, thinking what have I gotten myself into this time, and then walked out the door with Twi around my arm.
The air nipped at my face, as we stepped out into the night. Twi gripped tighter around my arm, in effort to acquire more warmth. I smiled; it’s such a perfect moment. And I longed for it to last forever. Seeing that it’s long walk back to my apartment, my wish was granted. We walked in silence, enjoying each other’s company and warmth. I could feel her glances, her longing for something, anything. If I only knew, I would give it to her. The walk didn’t take as long as I thought it would, but hell, I was happy.
“So,” Twi finally breaks the silence. “I’m curious, what is going on in that head of yours?”
“Oh this ole thing?” Tapping my head with my free hand. “Right now, it’s thinking about how beautiful this night is. I’ve never really noticed before. With all the looking down I do these days, sometimes I forget to look up.”
She looks up at me. “That’s deep, but you shouldn’t think that way, there are plenty of things to be happy about,” giving my arm a squeeze. “You have me here right now, and I’m here for you.”
“I know, I’m happy and glad for it. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Looking deep into her eyes with a smile, those soul gazing purple eyes.
We finally arrive at the complex; I lead her up the stairs to my apartment. It’s hard not to show how nervous I really am. “All those years of training,” I think to myself as I unlock and open the door. “All those times in the sandbox and I’m still nervous like a teenager behind the wheel for the first time.” I shake my head in spite of myself. The apartment is dark, flicking on the lights only reveals only the mess of books laid strewn everywhere.
“Sorry about the mess, it usually isn’t this bad. Even normally it’s usually my art laid about.”
“Art, I didn’t know you were an artist, you’re quite the well rounded mysterious man, Toby.” She smiled at me. “And I must say,” examining some of my works hanging on the walls. “These works are impressive.”
“They’re just sketches, nothing too great. Anyways, make yourself at home,” I move into the kitchen to get the drinks.
“Oh, I will do that. It isn’t as bad as my place,” a giggle from the living room. “Except I’ve got more books and less artwork. Though I wouldn’t mind some of these hanging on my walls.”
“Look at the desk. I’m sure if there is something you like, you can take it.” I say looking through the fridge, finding only a few beer cans and a half empty bottle of vodka. No, I couldn’t serve her that. Then I remembered I always keep something special in the wine chiller. Grabbing two tall, slender glasses, “Champagne, Twi?”
“Champagne?” Twi walked into the kitchen in amazement. “Now aren’t you the redefined gentleman. An artist, a scholar, and a man with good tastes,” she approached closer to me, running her finger along my chest. “What else do have up your sleeves?”
Popping open the bottle and pouring her a glass. “Walk around,” handing her a glass. “I’m sure there's more to be found in this mess I like to call home.” Twi thanked me. Taking her glass, she walked out of the kitchen, a sly grin on her face.
My mind was a blaze with thoughts and feelings as I poured my own glass. What am I supposed to do? Here I go again, the high-speed-low-drag operator getting nervous at his first jump. Smacking my head, focus Toby, you have to focus.
“Toby? Is this picture of you?” I heard the questioning for answer in her voice. I sighed; I kind of figured she’d see the picture eventually. Gripping my glass, primed for interrogation, I walked into the living room. Twi was of course was standing there by the picture, waiting for me.
“Yes, Twi. That’s me. Back not too long ago actually. Back in the sandbox, back in my own corner of hell.”
“You’re a soldier? Why didn’t you say so? That’s kinda important to say.”
“There are a lot of things that come with the job that I don’t like discussing too much about. I joined after my father passed, which was more or less after high school.”
“Is that the reason you fight?”
“Nah, but it wasn’t whole mom, flag, and apple pie thing, that’s for sure. Part of me always wanted to serve and I needed to help my mom out. So, I saw a dream and a problem, solved them both.”
“Seems very kind and self-sacrificing of you. Helping your family out that way. A gentleman, indeed.”
"Also, put myself out there because I believe that one day that my family, my kids, my grand kids, who ever. Anyone upon this earth may one day live in peace, as how backwards as that seems. Fighting for peace.”
“Sure it’s a bit backwards, but we all have hopes for this world, Mr. Philosopher.” She pauses. Sipping her drink, trying to thing of what to say. “Who’s your friend in the picture?”
“Oh,” I sighed. It was going to happen eventually. “That’s my friend, Paul. He was the character.” I avoid her eyes.
“Wait, he was…?”
“Yeah...He’s…” I can feel the tears welling up. No, not now, focus; you’ve got to stay strong. “He’s gone, killed in action. He’s been dead one year, two weeks, and 4 days. Not a day goes by I don’t think about that day, or the lack of what I remember of that day.” I couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes. All those thoughts and feelings, the smoke, the smells, the noise, all so very real, all coming back.
“Hey, hey now,” Twi voice reassured. She set her glass down, taking mine as well, setting it down next to it. Moving closer, I felt her hand against my face: her touch calming, her touch soothing. “It’s ok, just look at me, please.”
Slowly I lifted my chin to look her in the eyes. She too had tears in her eyes. I don’t know why she did, she never knew Paul like I did. How at the darkest of time, his jokes pulled the team up. His motivation pulled the last ounces of strength when I thought I had none left to give. How his marksmanship saved my ass more than once. So why?
“I…” I stumbled through my words. I was scared, nervous, and confused as ever. Words, feelings swirling around my head at 100 miles an hour. Everything in my body just wanted to scream out in agony of loss. To let the world just swallow me up. “I just... I … I don’t…” that’s when I felt her lips on mine. A sweet, albeit wet, embrace. The night slowed, and as I wrapped my arms around her, the world could’ve stopped for all I cared. Hell, I wish I could remember more, but the world just went black around me.
Opening my eyes, I questioned where I was. My solider mode kicked in. Today is Friday? Saturday? Yeah, Saturday. I check the clock, nearly 0900. A little voice in the back of my head screamed "NEW EPISODE!" The other part of my head said to wait a bit. Remember where you're at. I’m still in my apartment, in my bedroom. Yet, the room was cleaner, more organized. Sitting up, my head began to pound. “Jeez, Toby,” I thought, rubbing my temples. “You sure did a number on yourself. And I don’t remember drinking.” Feeling my dog tags dangle against my bare skin. I rub my chest, tracing the multiple scars running along my body. Strange, my shirts off, I vaguely remember it being a cold night. At least I still have my boxers on. Wait, what’s that smell? Is that bacon? Huh, interesting, last time I checked I ran out of bacon some time last week. Finally gathering enough strength to pull myself off the bed, I stumbled out of the bedroom.
Walking into the living room, I noticed it was a lot cleaner than I left it. The coffee table wasn’t covered in empty beer bottles, but strangely clean. My desk wasn’t cluttered with sketches. Surprisingly, most were now adorned on the walls. There was hardly an inch of wall space not covered. Looking at the works, some I don’t even remember drawing. Well, you forget a lot of things in the sandbox, while other memories remain. I drew closer to the kitchen, other the sound of the bacon cooking, the smell of brewed coffee, I distinctly heard a humming. Then the humming turned into a song, and god what a voice. I stood there for a few moments at the entrance of the kitchen, just listening to the beautiful melody. I guess she had found one of my old shirts and decided to wear it. A gray workout shirt, Army emblazoned in black on the front. It was a bit small for me, not a huge issue. With Twi though, it was just big enough to cover everything. Even still, a bit of her underwear was sticking out from the bottom of the shirt. Her curves were clearly visible and gorgeous. Her hair was down, like always. She looked laid back, but amazingly attractive at the same time. I was very content with what I had in front of me and I almost hated myself for ruining the moment.
“Good morning, Twi,” I had keep myself from laughing as she jumped, clearly startled. “I like what you’ve done with the place. I thought I would never see this place clean again.”
“Well, good morning, Toby,” turning to face me and regaining her composure, and handing me a cup of coffee. “Surely you know not to sneak up on a lady as she’s cooking. Things usually end badly.” The smile on her face clearly said differently.
“I’ve been off my game, I usually don’t have other people cook for me, and certainly not a fine lady as yourself,” Taking a sip of coffee, I realized it was how I like it, no better. It was damn near perfect. “Quite an amazing cup of coffee, if I do say so myself.”
“Thank you,” she beamed with accomplishment. “I’m glad that it receives your approval.”
“Well, a lot of things you’ve been doing have been receiving my approval, quite an achievement in itself.”
“OH, now what would that be now?”
“Just for starters? Well, you do have a knack for knowing many things, you have a thing for my sketches, and most importantly you are quite stunning to look at, even now.”
She blushed, “I loved getting compliments, but I think you’re just trying to make up for what happened last night.”
“Last night? I don’t remember anything.” Rubbing my head, trying to recall everything.
“Nothing? You don’t remember a thing?”
I shook my head, “No, not really. Just a few things up till we got back to my apartment, but after that. Nothing, just blackness. Now, I have to ask, as embarrassing as this sounds. What happened last night?”
Now it was Twi who had to stop herself from laughing. “Oh, well, you see,” she giggled a bit. “You kinda, passed out.”
I had to restrain myself from spitting out my coffee. “What? You’ve got to be kidding me, but I don’t think that would’ve happened. At least that explains why I’m sore.” A short pause, “wait, how did you carry back into the bedroom?”
A sly smile crossed her face. “You doubt so much, don’t you, Toby? You think a girl like me can’t handle herself, huh?” Pointing her spatula at me. “You’re about to proven wrong.”
“Ok, Ms. Great and Amazing Twi, just one thing,” I had to fight off the laughter.
“Yes, Toby, what would that one thing just have to be?” Her voice dripping with sarcasm.
The apartment was no longer cold and dark. Since that day, Twi has been staying at my place. The apartment has been warm and inviting. We even painted the living room. We end up getting a majority of the paint on each other, laughing and chasing each other with the paintbrushes. That took a few days. Well worth it though. I even helped Twi move some her stuff into the apartment. Albeit, it was mostly books and notebooks, it was something we did, together. It may sound like I’m moving too fast at this point, but it just felt right, I never had my heart ever feel this way before. I hold her every night, praying for these moments to last forever, but it’s only a matter till I get redeployed. The battalion has been stepping up the intensity of the Training Exercises and rumors say the battalion is up on rotation. Sadly, rumours turn into truth. I have a month left before I ship out, back to sandbox. Now as sit here on the couch, Twi laying her head on my shoulder, I wonder how to tackle this subject.
“Hey Twi, I guess there is something important to tell you.” She turns to get a better look at me. Her eyes question what I’m about to say and await more. “What I’m trying to say is that I probably won’t be here in the coming months.” She looked perplexed and confused. “Twi… I’m being redeployed. I’ve got a month, then at least nine months after that.”
She sat up and kissed me with the same feelings felt on that first kiss. “I know, I’ve always known you would have to go back.” She wrapped her arms around me, the smell of her perfume intoxicating. “There was no stopping you, it’s what you do.”
“Ok, I just wanted to tell you. Tell you that this solider has one last shooting match before he gets out.” She smiled at me. We sat there in silence for some time. It seemed right. Just let a few things settle in. I really didn’t know what to say.
“Toby, I just have one question, but if you don’t have to answer that question if you feel uncomfortable in answering it.” I nod, might as well see what question it is. “Um, what happened to Paul?” I sigh; I knew that question would eventually appear. Focus Toby, answer the lady her question, you’ve got nothing to hide.
“To be honest, it’s a touchy subject. He was killed in action while serving in the line of duty. Our squad’s mission was to secure a site and capture a High Value Target. I have never seen shit hit the fan that quickly.” I take a deep breath, carefully thinking over my next words, looking at her eyes begging for understanding. “The squad leader, Darvon was hit first. Eventually back up did arrive just in the nick of time. While extra boots were being put on the ground, I was hit. Rocket fire, and I’m lucky enough to sustain just small injuries that I did.” Gesturing to my chest. “I, personally, don’t know any details after that. All I know is what I can piece together from Darvon, Ryan, the after action report, and Paul’s recommendation of commendation. After I was hit, Paul came to pull me to safety, braving all sorts of incoming fire. Lifting me, combat gear and all, he got me to safety. He about damn near got me to helicopter, too that’s when he was hit. Multiple rounds went clean through his vest. He didn’t feel a thing. But, he died saving my life.” Tears begin to well up in my eyes. Just a few more seconds, Toby. You can do this. “He died saving my life. And I can’t pay him back for everything he’s done. And I’m left wondering everyday, why him not me ”
We sat there again in silence for some time, tears slowly going down my face. Twi sat there, I guess unsure of what to say. I’m reliving one of the most heart wrenching moments that I couldn’t do a thing against, and she’s sitting there trying to figure out what to say to make it better. Deep breathes, Toby. Just calm yourself down.
Twi moved towards me and sat my lap. Wrapping her arms around me, “Hold me,” she requested softly. “I just want to be held by you.” Not to be one to deny her that, I pulled her in closer. Her head lay on my shoulder, her face nuzzled into my neck. I relished in the feeling of her warm breath against my neck. And that’s how we laid for a while. "Toby?" her soft voice carefully broke the silence. "You were right, I'm not from around here. I'm not sure if you would believe me if I told you."
My brain stopped. But wait, haven't I known? From the start? I know i didn't have to hear the truth, I needed to truth. "Really? But I thought you sai-"
"Well, I lied." She couldn't look me in the eyes. "Because I'm not from around here, really. Around here is not ever possible to describe. To comprehend for a human like you."
"So you're sayi-"
"Toby, I was brought here, by magic." She put her hands to her faces and mumbles something along the lines of: this is stupid or this will never work. "I was sent here by Princess Ce-"
"Celestia?"
"Wait how did yo-" She giving me a funny look.
"It's a long story," I try to shrug it off. "Let's just say I had a hunch, and I happened to be right."
"Okay," She's unsure to continue. "I was sent here to learn about you and your people. About your culture and everything. What makes you humans, you. What makes you go on, what drives you, what causes all this conflict on this world. I was told to look over a warrior, see what makes him fight. Because where I come from, it's very different, I am very different. I come from Eque-"
"Equestria."
"Um, is there something you're not tell me?"
"Now," I chuckle. "Here's where I say you won't believe me. Believe it or not, I know everything, or just about everything. Your friends like Apple Jack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. You're all ponies. You live in Ponyville, and you have a dragon named Spike. Am I forgetting something?"
Her mouth was agape, unable to comprehend. "How did yo-" I reached for the remote, going to the DVR, I started an episode. Winter Wrap Up to be precise. My Favorite. She just watched, in near shock, at what was on the screen. Seeing herself, on the screen, as a pony, and in the human world no less. As the credits rolled, she finally spoke. "And... everyone watches this?"
"Nope."
"So," she finally looked at me. "Why do you?"
"Well, because," I stumbled to find myself. I'd never had to answer this question before. "Because, it makes me happy, I enjoy seeing it. It gives me hope in this world. Because as long as there is a glimmer of hope in this world, I can and will keep going."
"And that's what I came here to find. Why people keep going, there is so much bad in this world, it's hard to imagine what drives a person."
"Yeah," I thought back to my first days back from deployment. "but since you were sent here, why haven't you gone back? I guess you've "studied" me enough. Why not go back to the peace and harmony, away from this world."
"Because I found you. Why you? I don't know. I saw something more than a warrior. I found someone who legitimately cared. Something behind that mask of yours." I breathed deeply. I really didn't know what to say. In one part in my brain, I was excited, happy, overcome with emotions. Another part couldn't believe it. Studied. It seemed so wrong.
“Toby?" I could hear her trying to get answer out of me. "What happens now?”
“Twi," I sighed, it was a lot to take in, for both of us. "I will do everything in my power to make this work. That’s all I want out of life right now: this moment and us.”
“Toby,” she looked into my eyes, placing a hand on cheek. “I know you will.” I smiled for it was the only thing I knew how to do. “Now, hold on Toby. I’m sure there’s a perfect book for this, for us.” So, I watched get up and walk into the bedroom, not really thinking twice about it. All I could think of was smile on my face and how happy I was at that moment.
“Toby!” Came a cry from the bedroom a few minutes later. “I can’t find this book! You must’ve moved them! Why did you do that? You know I get mad when you move them!” I had to keep myself from laughing as I got up and starting walking to the bedroom.
“Twi, what do I keep saying? I don’t move your-.” I couldn’t formulate the next word. Not with what I saw in front of me. There she was, lying on the bed. Her hair hung over her face a bit, covering one eye. The other eye looked directly at me. Lying seductively, well she didn’t really need to do that, for what she was wearing entranced me as well. It was a black, translucent nightgown, highlighting her curves, giving off a violet hue, perfectly matching her hair. The ambiance of the setting helped as well. A few candles gave the room a sweet smell. For lack of a better description, I was at awe.
“Well, Toby?” She asked, twirling a rose between her fingers. “What will it be tonight? How about new book like Major Pettigrew's Last Stand? Or maybe a classic like Doctor Zhivago? Or maybe we can read something new to both of us,” Laying the rose down and picking a book up from beside her. She smirked and giggled, “Like say, the Kama Sutra?”
My mind was slowly trying to process what just happened. With the candles, the rose, Twi lying out in front of me looking quite beautiful, it was quite a polar opposite from the emotions and feelings I just had a few moments ago. Then something clicked in the back of my mind. That click told me to answer her, how to answer her, and very simply as well.
It’s been eight months, two weeks, and five days since he shipped out and his deployment is nearly over. And all I can think about is her. Everyday and every night. The nights are cold and lonely with him not around. I miss his warmth beside me. The days are hot as hell, the nights aren’t any better, and the locals aren’t too friendly at times. I can only hope his comrades are watching his back, while he is doing the same. Freaking Sam, always blabbing on about his “princess”, reminds me of the queen I have back home. He was talking about a promotion before he left. A promotion to Sergeant, who would’ve thought of that, I bet Darvon, he would’ve been proud in the thought of me leading my own team. I do send him packages of books and whatnot; I’ve got to keep that scholar alive inside of that warrior. I can’t leave him uninformed while he’s over there. It’s always nice to get a new book every week or so. My platoon truly loves to hear what book I got this time. I even read aloud the little notes she puts in the cover to them. That sure gets them going. Hey, whatever works keeps moral up. He sends back so many of his sketches. Sketches of his men, the surroundings, even a few of the civilians. He’s even sent a few books in Arabic and I’m quite the learner. Maybe sending those books wasn’t the best idea, now half of my letters are in Arabic, but it sure does help with the private stuff that I don’t want to share. Yet, I can’t just stop thinking about him, his kind and playful mood. The way she knows what to say, just at the right time. The way he holds me as we lie together and read. Her delicate touch on my face. How he always tries to make me laugh, no matter how corny or childish it may be. The way she smiles and says everything will be all right. I even picked a small coffee addiction since he’s left. I miss making him coffee for him. Walking him up every morning with a kiss then his coffee. It usually turned into more than a kiss and a cold cup of coffee. I really miss her cooking. Well, near perfect cooking. The nights we would experiment with new recipes and foods. We’d usually end up getting take-out and a movie. So every night, when I stare at the stars before I go to bed, I can’t help to think about him. How is he, if he’s safe or not. I worry about him, because I care about him. Every time I pick up my rifle, every time I step outside the wire, every time I put my self in harms way: I cannot help but to think about her. It’s only natural. I can only hope that he and his comrades are alive and well right now. I want them all to come back safe. I just want to be with him. “Though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I fear no evil.” I just pray I am granted another day on this earth and to eventually be with her.
It was as hot as any other day though it was still early in the day, the sun bearing down on our heads. Not a single cloud in the sky. The mission was simple: provide support to Alpha Company at the forward operating base about ten miles away. They had their time on the line and are in need of being relieved. Which that job has been put on us: Bravo Company. Lucky enough though, we are not walking the ten miles, we have been provided Humvees. Lee was driving, I was riding shotgun, Ryan was on the “Ma deuce” on top, and in the back were Sam and Burke, joking around like always.
“But what if monkeys really could fly?” Sam questioned, “You never know what military purposes we could use them for.”
“Yeah,” Burke trying to talk in between his laughs. “But I’d leave the shit flinging to the politicians, cause that’s what they be good at.” “Amen, preacher,” Lee sounded off from behind the wheel. “Preach it some more.”
“Thus SAYETH the lord!” Burke began his sermon, “That upon THIS day, he who decides to bring evil upon this earth, better not be in the path of Bravo Company, for he will be SMITTED off this world. Lord have mercy on THEIR souls, for we shall not!” A round of ‘hooaahs’ answered him. I smiled: high moral, headstrong, and ready for anything. These were the men I was proud to lead.
Which is when an explosion from behind ceased all thoughts. Than another in the front, causing the Humvee in front of us to swerve and hit the guardrail blocking the road. A few small arms rounds pinged off our hood, tracers flying past the window.
“AMBUSH!” I yelled, “Dismount and engage!” There was a scramble to get out of the vehicle. I could see men exiting their houses brandishing rifles and machine guns, ready to join in the fight. “RYAN! Hit em hard with the Deuce! Don’t let off of them!”
“Will do, Sarge!” His sentence punctuated with a burst of fifty cal. I could see the rest of the convoy was already stopped and currently engaged. A Humvee was on fire, tossing black smoke into the air. I’m glad I was up wind; the smell must’ve been horrendous. Peeking my head over the hood of the Humvee, I could see a few men gathering in a ditch, putting fire on our small convoy, in which two of the six vehicles were out of commission. I put a burst down range with my rifle; incoming rounds pinged off the hood sending me back into cover.
“Sarge, we are in a bad place here!” Lee yelled beside me. “We’ve got to move! NOW!”
“I get that! Sam! Move to the first Humvee; check if everyone is all right. Lee, Burke, get ready to cover him. Ready Sam?”
“Always ready, Sarge!”
“Good to hear. Three, two, one, COVERING FIRE!” The three of us popped up and started to put rounds down range. Sam ran for the first Humvee, puffs of dirt popping up around him. Thankfully he made it over. We dropped back into cover behind the Humvee. “Right, RYAN? I called out, reloading my weapon. “How are we doing?”
“Still SNAFU, Sarge!” Ryan screamed over the thudding of the fifty cal.
“Good, for a moment there, I thought we were in trouble. KEEP POURING IT ON THEM RYAN!” A burst from the fifty answered my order. I glance over to the first Humvee and see a few guys starting to emerge, firing their weapons. Sam gives me the A-OK sign. I give him a thumbs up. “Right then, Burke, Lee! Get ready cover Sam as he moves back!” “Roger that Sarge!” I flip Sam a few hang signals telling to get ready to move. Another A-OK sign is given.
“Three, Two, One, COVER FIRE!” I catch a glimpse of Sam starting to run as I pop up over the hood, firing. I catch a tango off guard and I watch him fall as my rounds hit center mass. Dropping back under cover to reload, I catch another glimpse of Sam, not twenty-five feet away. Everything starts to go in slow motion. A bullet rips through his lower right leg and he tumbles. His face turned into a pained anguish. While falling two rounds hit him in the vest, thankfully not penetrating. He finally hit the ground, rolling onto his back. “ GOD DAMN IT! SAM’S DOWN! COVER ME!” Slinging my rifle, I took off to get Sam. I finally reach him. “Hold on Sam, I got you!” Grabbing the handle on the back of his vest, I started to pull him into cover.
“Ugh. Thanks Sarge,” Sam groaned. “Ah, my LEG!” His hands went for his leg. From what I could see, the bullet broke the leg; he wouldn’t be dancing for a while. He was also bleeding pretty badly. He would make it, if we made it to cover.
“You’re going to be fine Sam, you’ll just need some orange juice later.” His strained laughter is what I got as a response. “We’re almost there, just a few more yards.”
“RPG, RPG! GET DOWN, SARGE!!” came a cry from the Humvee.
It was still a bit dark when I woke. The sun was starting to rise of over the city. I couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t any different from most nights. Sitting up, rubbing my face, I couldn’t focus. I know he’s fine. I know he’ll be back. He’s a strong solider, a brave solider, but I cannot stop worrying about him. Flipping on the lamp, I decided it was time to start my day. I grabbed one of his shirts put it on. Though he couldn’t be here, right now, this shirt would have to do.
Staggering into the living room and I flicked on another lamp. Its light cast an eerie glow over the sketches covering the walls. Turning on the TV and changing the channel till it reached the news. Satisfied with that, I began the rest of the other morning routine. Prepping the coffee, gathering the bread for making toast, I was only half listening to the news. But right now it didn’t matter. There was only happy feel good news. Thankfully the coffee was warming and the toast was nearly done, so I didn’t have to listen to this for long.
“And today in news on the War in Afghanistan,” the newscaster began. That peaked my interest real quick. I usually had to listen to these segments. Something always made me watch these segments as much as I hated them. So peeked my head from kitchen to get a look at the segment. “A convoy was hit by a well coordinated and vicious attack.” The image of the newscaster switched to a video of the aftermath. A burning Humvee, another one further down nearly in a ditch. Bullet holes pocketed the Humvees that were on the road. Upon closer inspection, pools of dried blood were on the road intermixed with various bullet shell casings. “It appears the attack was imitated by IEDs then attack with small arms fire. Then the convoy was hit by rocket and motar fire. As of now the situation has been contained, and there have been no groups stepping forward to claim responsibility for the attack. There are reports of numerous US causalities.” From there it cut to close up of a solider being loaded onto an APC.The solider with covered in blood, his uniform soaked with either his own or someone else’s. Medics frantically working all around him, and then it hit me. I ran to the remote and paused the TV. I got a closer look at that solider. No. Not just any solider, not just any wounded solider, that’s my solider. My Toby. My hands began to shake, my knees became weak, and I couldn’t stand anymore. Slowly bracing myself against the wall, I fell to floor. No… No… Nononononononono that can’t happen, not to my Toby. Tears rolling down my face, the paused image of Toby fixed on the screen, why this… why now.
It’s been a about a week or two, I haven’t been myself enough to keep track. Each days just rolls into the next. Just by anyone’s guess, it’s been at least a few weeks, way past the date of when he was supposed to return. I cannot recall a moment where I was not crying at least for a little bit. For once in my life, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, whom to turn to, what will happen. I’ve never felt so alone, ever. Well at least that’s what I thought.
I was sitting like I normally was, just in the living room, on the couch, curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out. Which is when the phone began to ring. Like I normally did, I just let it go to the answering machine, I couldn’t bear to answer the phone. Not in the state I am in. Also there is no need for awkward conversations with people I don’t know. Then try to explain to them who I am and what I mean to Toby. No. I’ll let this call go.
“Hey, You’ve reached Toby Miller! It would appear I’m not in right now, so please leave you’re name and number after the tone and I’ll be happy to get back to you!”
*beeeeeeep*
“Hey, you. I know you’re in there. It’s Bill Young, you may not know who I am, but you could say I’m a close friend of Toby’s. I run the bar down the street from here, a lil hole-in-the-wall sorta place. Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it, Twi.” I froze. This Bill knew my name. I walked to the answering machine, looking at it inquisitively, almost as if Bill was to appear from it. “I know you’ve been having a rough time. Look, I just wanna talk. Just come on down, I’m sure a drink or two on me would help. Please, come on by.” The machine clicked soon after that.
I just stared at that machine, unsure what to think. This man, this Bill, knew who I was. I didn’t think Toby really told people about me, I mean besides his immediate family. His friends though, I wasn’t too sure about. If it had to do with Toby though, I needed to know. But, could I trust this man? No, if Toby could trust him, then I can as well. So, almost in a rush, I grabbed my coat and ran out the door.
He wasn’t lying when he called it a “hole-in-the-wall sorta place”. Entering the place, I nearly chocked on the amount of smoke that filled the air. I don’t see how Toby could enjoy, much less enter, a place like this. Womanizing men trying to seduce women almost half their age and it seemed that the women were enjoying their free drinks. And entering the bar alone, I got the feeling of a gazelle walking past the lions’ hungry mouths, waiting for one to pounce.
Sitting down at bar, it didn’t take long for one to pounce. Maybe five minutes after I get comfortable on the stool, one man get the courage to walk over. He’s not the slimmest man in the bar, his comb over speaks for his age, and his sly smile says his intentions.
“Hey babe, you look new around here, how’s about I get you a drink or two?” He voice just seeps with over inflated ego. How I wished for Toby to be here, to keep these sorts of men away. I just dip my head down and just ignore him for now. “Hey,” I feel a hand on my shoulder. “I asked you if you wanted a drink.” I shrug his hand off. I’m in no mood to converse with him. “Hey, would you like to even answer-“
“That’s enough Mac,” my ears perk up, a familiar voice from behind the counter. “She doesn’t need that, she’s already been through enough. Here, a beer for your troubles.” The man stomps off, his ego obviously hurt. Raising my head, I see the character from behind the counter, Bill Young it would seem to my rescue. He appeared to be a kind character. Though his face seemed worn from being over-worked, but his smile said he loved what he did. “I take it you’re Twi, then; the one Toby's been talking about?”
I smiled, “Then you must be Bill Young.” I extend my hand, which he shakes. “It’s nice to see a friendly face around here. It’s nice to see a friendly face these days.”
“I kinda figured that, I only could’ve guessed it would’ve been a rough week. Anything I can get you?”
“A shot of vodka will be fine, thank you.” It only took him a few moments to return with a shot and placed it in front of me. I slammed the drink down. Enjoying the burn as it went down. A look a shock appeared on Bill’s face. “I’m not the drinking type, but I needed that.”
“Alrighty then, not that I wouldn’t blame you, not now. Not after seeing that news segment the other day.” He can tell I am visibly shaken from that comment. He lays his hand on my arm. “Look, I know what you’re going through.”
“How would you know?” I shoot back. He shakes his head, not in shame, but in my lack of understanding.
“I’ve been where Toby was. Not the sandbox, but the good ole jungle of ‘Nam. It’s rough, and it may be because I’ve been there, but death is very real, a very everyday event. Much less nowadays, but back in the day, it was a bloody mess.”
“But how is this helping any?” The tears welling up in my eyes, “I don’t know if he’s alive or dead!”
“I know how you feel, or at least my wife does. But she didn’t see my bloody face all over national television.” There’s a pause. “Toby did say lots of wonderful things about you. He was right to say you are such a caring person. He’s a damn fine person and I’d hate to lose him as much as you do. He came in one day, probably right before he deployed and said if anything were to happen to him, whatever that might be, that I was to help out anyway I can. I’m not the type of man to back off from a promise.” He reached into the bar, pulled an envelope and placed it on the bar in front of me. “It may not be much, but you want you can work here every other day. I could use a bit of help everyone now and then.”
“Bill,” I couldn’t keep myself from crying. “T-Thank you, you don’t know what this means to me. I don’t know how to repay you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Toby is a good guy, I just wish I could do more. Go get some sleep, alright? You look like you could use some rest.”
“Thank you, again. This means the world to me.” And from there I got up and left. I waved good-bye as I exited. It was still cold; it’s always been cold. I hate the cold. I get back to the apartment. Locking the door behind me as I enter, I just walk to the bedroom. Though I didn’t know anything today, I feel drained, my emotions blank, my mind now where to be found. I don’t know how I found the energy to change, or just get out of my clothes. Finally, collapsing on the bed, I look to where he would lay. It was hard to tell when I finally stopped crying and fell asleep.
It was about midday when I finally awoke. Not that being awake was any better than being asleep. I much preferred being asleep. I don’t know what to do with my day some days. I could only read so much. So I just laid in bed for a bit, unable or unsure what to do. Might as well get up. Take a shower; maybe see if I can work at the bar tonight, just anything to keep my mind off everything.
Shambling to the shower, my head pounding, it’s hard to stay focused. Even as the warm water flows over my body, my mind is adrift in thought. How could I stay focused? I got out of the shower as quickly as I got in; it wasn’t helping to think about everything. I don’t bother is dry my hair, not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon. But I should at least get into some clothes, might as well. I mean, it’s only 3pm. Let’s at least look decent for no one.
I guess I’ll make myself a cup of coffee. I can’t start the day without it. Walking to the kitchen and see the mail accumulated by the door. I just usually stepped over them I start the coffee marker and walk towards the door. Picking up most of the letters, it’s no surprise that most are for Toby. It’s only natural, I mean he does, or did, live here. I flip through the letters, just to see what they are. Bills, a magazine, bills. One addressed to me, curious, why would that be? Setting down the other letters, I open this one. There was two letters in the envelope, so i decided to read the first one.
“Oh no,” I gasp. I knew what it was I just didn’t believe it. I knew the moment I saw his handwriting on the envelope. Fighting myself, I knew I had to read it.
My Dearest Twilight,
If you are receiving this letter, then something terrible has happened to me. Though I can’t say exactly what has happened, but by now you might have an idea. I’ve been killed in the line of duty. It’s tough to write something like this, but I had to, every time I am out there, I’m at risk for anything, so it was only natural for me to write this.
I just want to say, it’s been an honor being with you. The time I got to spend with you was the best time I’ve had since forever. I’ve never been happier. I only wish we had more time. If I got to hold you one more time, to kiss you one more time, to have an extra moment with you. If I only had the chance to tell you what you really mean to me, I think my life would’ve been complete. Though that chance was cut short. So, I will tell it here.
At this point I was on the floor in tears I couldn’t help that. This was only confirming my worst fears. And now? Nothing left but to read on.
Twilight, I love you. I don’t think there was anyway I would spend the rest of my life, but with you. You’ve shown me so much. You’ve cared so much. I wish there was only way I could repay you for all that you’ve done. Though I may be gone now, not ever stop living to the best of your abilities. You’re a bright and amazing girl. There’s so much for you achieve. The whole world is at your fingertips. Just waiting for you. There are reasons for everything that we do in life, no matter how backwards that reason may be. There are reasons; you’ve just got to find yours. Believe. Life is easier with a little bit of hope.
For all these times, Twi, I thank you. Now and forever yours,
Toby Miller
I cried out. I couldn’t help it. Tears flowed down my face, “WHY, TOBY?” My cries were mostly incoherent, drowned out in my sobs. “I know you had to go, but why couldn’t you have told me? I loved you too…” Read the second letter, my brain told me. Why continue, my heart said? Flipping to the second letter, it was someone else’s handwriting. So. I guess I’ll read it. Maybe it tells a different tale. I can only hope that the new tale sheds new light on the truth of this matter. I can only hope for that, I can only wish for him to be here now with me. But I’ve got time; I’ve got all the time in the world.
To Ms. Twilight S.
It pains me to write such a letter. It pains me to see such a valuable asset, such as Sgt. Toby Miller be put out of action. But as of this time, we do not know if he will make it or not through his procedure. He sustained massive injuries while in the line of duty. Though before sustaining his life threating injuries, he saved the life of Cpl. Sam Cooper. Cpl. Cooper was able to live because of Sgt. Miller’s actions. I wish I had more men like Sgt. Miller; his self-sacrifice makes me proud to be serving where I am at now.
But at this time, the condition of Sgt. Miller remains to be determined. Whether he will pull through or not, but I ask that he remains in your prayers and wishes. Everyone here at Bravo Company who knew the Sergeant send his or her condolences to you. I’m working on a recommendation of commendation for Sgt. Miller for his actions and his service. I did include his last letter, because as of recently he has not been doing too well. I understand that you were close with him, so it was only natural to write this letter to you, I was told to write this by Sgt. Miller himself, and I only want to honor his wishes
My best wishes and my prayers,
Captain James Gordon Commanding Officer, Bravo Company
I don’t know what is worse at this point, the fact that I don’t know if that Toby is alive or dead, or the fact that I can’t do anything about it. I cried in anger, I cried in sadness, I cried because my friend… my love… is in a state of limbo. Between life and death. Checking the date, I realized it was from a week ago I threw the letter away from me. Damn that letter, why can’t I get a straight answer? Come on, Twi. Focus a bit, there’s still hope, right? Well, let’s go Twi. You’ve got work to do. Grabbing my coat and the letters, I walk out of the apartment and head to the bar. There’s a need to occupy my time. I’m thinking too much, and that’ll probably do me over in the end.
It’s raining, how the weather seems to match the mood I’m in. I don’t mind it too much. If it rains hard enough, it might as well sweep me off my feet and take me away.
Entering the bar with less of a coughing fit, more looks from the crowd, I know it’s just going to be another interesting night. Bill, from seeing the look in my eyes and letters clenched in my hands, sighs. He already has guessed what has happened. Sitting at the bar, he puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Kid, I already know what that is, and I’m sorry.” He’s solemn; it’s hard for him to believe as well. “Come on, kid. Let’s get you to work.”
I walked to the apartment later that night. The shift wasn’t too long, but dealing with all those people. I’ve never been hit on more times in my life then the time I was working. Seeing, as I was the “new girl” working the bar, seemed to give every man the right to ask about my love life. Men, I rubbed my face in disgust.
The night was a bit cold, like it always seemed to be, but at least the rain passed. Pulling my jacket around tighter only helps so much, when one can see their breath in front of them. Though, still a bit somber from this morning. Nothing has changed; the $72 in tips doesn’t fix anything. What can change this moment?
“Right now, it’s thinking about how beautiful this night is. I’ve never really noticed before. With all the looking down I do these days, sometimes I forget to look up.” A voice from long ago speaks. What does the sky hold for me, I think as I glance up. It’s beautiful. The sky clear, the clouds long since past, the moon shone with such brilliance. “…And most importantly you are quite stunning to look at, even now.” I sighed. It was unfair. Lowering my head, I kept walking, fighting the past.
Finally reaching the apartment, my small night of hell finally over, maybe I could sleep. No, I’ll probably cry my eyes out one more time. Sighing and unlocking the door, oh the joys of being in love with a soldier. Enter and closing the door behind me, I tossed my jacket aside. There was a crunch as I stepped forward. More mail. Oh what joy. I picked up the small pile. Strange, the first letter on top wasn’t even a letter. It was just a folded piece of paper. It was just a folded piece of paper with my name on it, just my name and no address. I was curious. Who just drops by a note? Unfolding it, my heart stopped for a second.
Sometimes we are not given second chances. Other times we hold on for dear life and demand a second chance. Maybe I just have the luck with these sorts of things.
My heart beat faster, my mind set afire with thoughts. My hands began to shake violently. Which is when I became strangely aware of the creak and tap sound. Looking up and that’s when I saw him. Toby. Walking towards me from the living room. He was partly in his dress uniform. His left arm concealed in a sling and cast under the jacket. His right held a cane, supporting him as he limped across the room. Scars crisscrossed the left side of his face and down his neck, and the some stitches were recently removed. I couldn’t believe it. And then he was standing in front of me.
Multiple fractures, contusions, internal bleeding; hell I was lucky enough to make it to the field hospital. I was even luckier to make it to surgery. I spent most of my time under the knife or in a state of drugged limbo. I can’t quite recall the conversation I had with Captain Gordon, but I vaguely remember placing the letter in his hand and making a vague suggestion to send it to Twi. I was told that the doctors had to keep reassuring me that Sam made it out all right, because I demanded to know his condition. That was a difficult time. There were many times where I didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. It was by a miracle that I’m alive. I even spent most the flight back to the state drugged up. Shortest flight I’ve ever had by far.
Spent the whole day trying to navigate the city with a cane, harder than you think. I didn’t want to call a cab, I needed to walk and help my leg heal. Probably should’ve taken a cab. Walking across intersections is a lot slower going. Everyone is trying to help. Especially with a broken left arm. Yet, all I could think about was getting to her. I called multiple times, my apartment, yet no answer. I called her cell phone, which also resulted in no answer. Worried was an understatement at that point. So, after all that, I finally arrive back that the apartment, late and tired. I notice the opened envelope near the door, a sigh, it’s anyone’s guess about how she reacted, but I can only guess it wasn’t good. Regretfully, I wish I didn’t send the letters.
I didn’t know if or when Twi would return. So I wrote a note on the mail, seeing as she did pick up the mail, might as well. Pouring myself a shot, I walked into the bedroom. Lowering myself onto the edge of the bed, somehow I just couldn’t believe I made it back and that everyone else did too. Somehow, I made it. And now it’s over, over for me at least. I chuckle, slamming the shot down. It burns on its way down, making me cringe a bit. Ugh, I haven’t had a good drink in ages. I rub my face with my good hand. I’m just glad to be home, but it won’t be home till I have Twi in my arms, well, arm.
I don’t know how long it was till heard the door unlock and open. Here we go, I thought as I grabbed my cane. Limping into the living room, I saw her, reading the note. Focused completely on the note. She was shaking a bit. And then I was there, standing in front of her.
“Hey the-,” was all I got out before I felt her palm strike my face. I was stunned, and in wonder of what I did wrong.
“You…you,” she was starting to hyperventilate. “You… you…” I recovered a bit, then looked at her, but by then she was already wrapped tight around me.
“Ow, ow, ow. Twi, my arm, my arm!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she stepped back; putting her hand my arm. She choked on a tear. “I’m just extremely joyful to see you back, alive.”
“There has been a few times where I didn’t think that was possible. I’m lucky I made it out of the sandbox.”
She shuttered a bit, talking in between sobs. “I know. I saw how you looked on the news. I didn’t want to believe it. I woke up every day, with a hope that you would walk through that door as if nothing even happened.” Looking up at me, “but you’re here now.”
“Yes, that I am. Here, for good. I’ll probably be discharged, either medically and/or honorably. From there, the sky is the limit.”
She placed her hand on my cheek, gently rubbing it. Leaning towards me, she placed a soft kiss on my lips. “You’re lucky I have a weakness to a man in uniform.”
I chuckle a bit. “I guess I’m just lucky to have found you first then. Because I don’t know where I would be without you. Probably not here, that’s for sure.” I looked her in the eyes and smiled. “Love is a powerful drive to stay alive. That was my only drive, to be here again, with you, in your arms again.”
Twi smiled in happiness, her eyes welling up with more tears, “You didn’t have to say that,” She reached into her pocket and pulled out some paper. And then I noticed, the letter I wrote, my supposed last letter. “Twilight, I love you.” She read, and then looked at me. “And you need to know something as well. I love you too.” She put the letter down and gently hugged me. And that’s how we stood for a while, till she kissed me on the cheek. “So, what happens now?”
“Right now is the beginning of forever. Forever with you. How does that sound?”
She smiled, her tears long gone. She kissed me, full on lips. “I think I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I don't know how long it's been. Hell, I've lost count. We've, Twi and I, been working together, getting me back together, in more or less one piece. I know I won't be dancing anytime soon. I was never a dancer anyways. Even with the cane, I manage to go with walks with Twi every evening. Even stopping by the park for a quick gaze at the stars.
I was eventually discharged with 50% disabilities. It's enough to pay for the groceries and whatnot. And a job at Bill's bar sure does help. I'd never thought that I would be working with the man I called a mentor, a savior. Twi has continued her studies at the local University, though she never asks for money, which surprises me. Though I try to help, my knowledge of Molecular Physics and Russian Literature stop about when it stops becoming English. As much as she tries to explain the ins and outs of early Chinese Philosophy, such as Taoism and Mohism, smile and laugh at what this girl has managed to accomplish, while I have not. Though she nearly kills herself studying for midterms and finals. Though many times I found her asleep on her textbooks and have had to carry her back to bed. Though she often complains of my often terrible jokes, I still love her.
I haven't watched a new episode in forever. Why watch the show, when you have the real thing next to you when you wake up. Having someone waiting for you when you get home from work. Nothing compares to that. Nothing in the world can describe that feeling in your heart, knowing the one you have longed for, the one you've hoped for, it right there with you.
But as of lately, there seems to be a fire lost in Twi. Not in the sense that she's lost interest, but something seems missing. I catch her gazing as the sky, the moon, and the stars more often than usual. She daydreams throughout the day, it's hard not to miss when her head is in the clouds. She seems, out of place and melancholy most days. She hasn't drank a cup of coffee in the past couple of days. Then I realized something, how could I be so selfish. After all this time, how could I have not asked.
She was daydreaming again while trying to study for Chinese Philosophy when I walked in the door from work. I noticed she was somehow entranced she was with the picture of Paul and I on the wall. As I walk into the kitchen, I catch a glimpse of her taking the photo off the wall and staring at it. I grab a glass of water and shamble over to her.
"As one of your Taoist philosopher's would say "The clouded mind sees nothing."" I hand her the water, though she takes the water, she remains focused on the photo.
"Toby, when did you met Paul?" Sipping the water, she put the photo back on the wall, still staring it down.
"A few years, back in basic, We were training on how to attack a bunker. When I suddenly found myself in a hole. A fairly deep hole I might add. Then, I heard a voice say above me "Where did you learn to walk? What were you doing to find yourself here?" I kindly replied that I was too busy eying the scenery. He said something like if there isn't any women, there isn't a scenery to look at, while he pulled me up. I was only thankful that we were stationed together, and then deployed together."
"Toby, when is the last time you had a friend that has been with you for a long time?"
I kinda saw where this was going. I knew where this was going from the start. "Twi, you miss them, don't you?"
"I'm not going to lie to you," Twi spoke quite frankly. "I miss them more than anything. They're my friends that I love and care about. I feel like I've given up on them."
I paused. I knew what had to be done. I put a hand on her shoulder, looked her in the eyes, and spoke just above a whisper. "You can go back, Twi. You should've just said something. I understand what friends mean to you."
She pulled me into a hug. "But I can't just leave you here. I just can't..."
I kissed the top of her head. "Twi, you've already saved me here. I feel the need to return the favor. You can only do so much here. What more philosophy classes can you take? You've done your work here. It's time for you to go. Celestia's report can't be tardy, we wouldn't want that, now would we?"
She managed to smile a bit. "No, that would not be good at all."
"As a Sergeant," I took deep breath, unsure if I wanted to hear the words come out of my mouth. "I know my soldiers and I will always place their needs above my own. In love, people make sacrifices. I know that your friends need you much more than I. No matter how much I want to you here with me. It pains me see you like this. You need to go back."
She looked up at me, tears following. "But... but... I can't do that. There has to be some other way." She looked away for a moment, trying to think of a solution. It only took a few seconds for her face to light up with glee, and a smile grow in her face. "What if I were to take you with me?"
She could only laugh. "Toby, you're doubting too much. You've just got to calm down, really."
"Calm? Me? I'm completely calm! I've never been more calm in my life! You've just told me that I could go a far away place that I thought at one time was just completely fictional! How could I not be more calm!"
She handed me back the water, "I think someone needs a drink." I started to pace around. Leave this world? This place I've called home for my whole life? I mean, there wasn't much left for me here. But what would I do there? Certainly my injuries would prohibit me from a lot of work. Would I too be a pony? I was left in wonder.
"Twi, what about everyone here? Won't they notice me being gone? People like Bill or Sam, hell, what about my mother. Won't they care that I've suddenly dropped off the face of the earth?"
"Toby," She took a deep breath before she continued. "It would be like you were killed on last tour and I moved away from here. After that day, you wouldn't exist and neither would I. " She looked a bit ashamed when she said that.
I was taken aback. I had fought so hard to stay alive. I slumped to the floor. And if I go, all of that would be for not. I couldn't think. She lowered herself down and sat next to me. "You can do that? With your magic?"
"Yes, though I'm not sure if I'm proud of that." She couldn't look into my eyes. Though, I could understand. Erasing me from the memories of many, and then adding memories of pain and sorrow. I would be dead.
"Then I guess returning is out of the question." I finished off the rest of the water. "Do we have anything stiffer? I probably going to need it." I watched as Twi got up and went to the kitchen to pour me a drink. I would be dead. I couldn't leave that thought. I would be making the ultimate sacrifice to my country without actually partaking of the act. Good? Bad? Well, I did have a slight intention of doing that when I first enlisted. But now? I already know what is like for someone to know that you died. I don't want anyone to experience that again. She came back and handed me a tall glass full of something. A quick sniff made me realize she had used the last of vodka. I took a deep swig of it, the burn of plain vodka was refreshing. I hand her the glass back, she too takes a drink and grimaces in the taste. "If I am to do this, I've got a few things to take care of first. Is that all right?"
"No, I perfectly understand. Would you like me to come with?"
"If you want. I was just going to write my will, then have a few words with a few people."
"Ok then. What would you have me do then?"
"Moral support at this point."
* * *
Thankfully, the bar wasn't closed when we go there. Bill was just cleaning a few thing behind the bar before locking up. The chairs were all up on the tables. The lights were a bit dim. He saw us walk in arm in arm, and his face just lit up with a smile.
"Oh the happy couple, what brings you into my humble place of work at this hour?" He chuckled as he continued. "Toby, you clocked out hours ago. I didn't you to be the one to come into work early."
"Nah Bill. Just wanted to stop by and talk. Can't a friend just come in and talk?"
"Of course," he set down the glass he was cleaning and devoting his attention towards us. "What's on your mind."
"Well," I walk towards the bar. Twi stays by the door, waiting for me. I pull of a chair bar and sit down. "Bill, I just come in to thank you for all you've done."
"Toby, this sounds like you're leaving."
"In sense, I will be. There's only so much I can say at this time. But I just had to say that. All those times you've talked to me, keep me somewhat sane. I must say, you've kept my finger off the trigger multiple times. I don't think I've ever had a friend like that. At least someone who's still alive."
"Toby, you forget that's my job. I may serve up drinks, but my primary focus is my customers, why do you think I have so many people come here every night? Because they know I care about 'em."
"I know that, and I can never repay for you." I pulled an envelope out of my pocket and put it on the bar. "But I can at least start."
"Toby?" He took the envelope from the bar. He eyed it with suspicion. "Toby, what is this?"
"Think of it as me paying my tab after all these years and then some," I got up and started to walk towards the door. "You deserve it. Even then, I don't think I can thank you enough."
"Hey kid," I turned around Bill. He threw up a crisp salute. "Soldier on, where ever you go. You've made me damned proud."
I return the salute and stood at attention the best I could. "By your word, it will be done." He dropped the salute, but I kept it up for a few extra moments, then slowly dropped it. Getting to door, Twilight gave me a look, but didn't say anything. She took my arm as we walked out. It was a warm night, the clouds hung lower in the sky than usual. I didn't know what to think about my situation. My mind was like the sky above. The stars of my future hidden by the clouds of uncertainty. Twi didn't say anything. So it was my turn to break the silence.
"And he's not going to remember that conversation tomorrow, will he?"
"No," she spoke quietly. "No he won't. None of that ever happened, it will be like he received that envelope before you left." Continuing to walk back to the apartment in silence, the only thing that changed was that the moon's light began to shine through the heavy overcast. Finally reaching the apartment, an odd feeling surrounded me. Twi dropped her grip around my arm as I walked around the apartment. Here was a place I called home since I moved out. Yet, I felt no attachment to it. I lived of my life on the firing line, that was home. My family, or what was left of it, had all long since pasted. My brothers-in-arms were mostly all I had left. Even then, there was little family left.
"I hate to intrude," Twilight spoke quite softly, very aware of what thoughts pranced around in my head. "But, it's kinda now or never. The Princess is expecting me." A pause. "And you as well. I told her about... us. And she can't wait to meet you."
I stopped pacing. "Wait, when did you tell her."
"The other night, I've been communicating with her about this. She understand your sacrifice and plans to have an audience with you. A change from a human to being a pony is sort of a big deal and she would like to hear from you, directly. And she's ready and waiting with her magic to bring us over. I'm not trying to rush you, it's just because the moon is full and that's when the Celestia's magic is at her highest in this world. We won't have this chance again for another month. I'm just asking, anything else?"
"Yeah," I spoke as I hobbled towards the phone. "Just one last thing." I should've done this earlier, I thought. I dialed a number from long ago. The phone only rang twice before it was answered by a tired voice.
"Hello?"
".... Hi Mom."
* * *
I hung up the phone on the verge of tears. I had to tell her just about everything. Though she wouldn't remember in the morning. She was my mother and I had to be honest. Though she didn't quite understand because of her age. It was worth to tell her everything.
"Toby," I felt Twi put her hand on my shoulder. "It's about time, the moon will be fully light in a few minutes and at that time will be when Celestia will bring us over." She was ready to go. All her papers and books were in a bag, draped over her shoulder.
"And then I won't exist anymore."
"You will, in the hearts and minds of your mother, Bill, and your men. You'll be gone, but not forgotten. Let that be known."
I walked to the picture of Paul and I. Looking at it for a moment, then turned to Twi. "I'm taking this picture. He gave his life for me, and though I'll never forget that. He was the closest thing I had to a brother." Her nod answered my question, but I was already pulling it out of its frame. I took once last look at it before I handed it to her. "That's all I want to bring." Again, simply nodding, she put it in her bag.
"Now then," I shambled over to the CD player in the kitchen. "Though I'm not the greatest dancer, nor has my injuries helped me in this. I do believe I owe a beautiful lady a dance." Switching the CD player on and slow, melodic piano began to fill the room with sound. I slowly walked back to her. Setting my cane aside and taking her by the hand. "Shall we dance?"
"Moonlight Sonata, Beethoven." She looked at me impressed. "I didn't know you had a thing for the classics. But yes, of course," She pulled herself close to me. "You may have this dance." Slowly we moved to the progression of the piano. Swaying back and forth to the beat. Eventually a small glow began to appear around her forehead. Growing brighter and brighter, its light filled the dark apartment. "Toby, if anything happens."
I looked her in the eyes. "Twi, nothing will. I have faith in you." I gave her a kiss and the light began to grow so bright that it lit up the whole room. So bright, I had to close my eyes. The world began to spin around me, moving faster and faster with every second. The darkness started to seep into the corners of my eyes. I fought the best I could to stay conscious, but it was a fight I know I could not win. And I just let it win. I let the blackness swallow me up. I felt my body drift away from my mind.
Out of the blackness, I heard her voice cry out, "Toby!"
Slowly, out the darkness, a voice. No, wait. There were other voices. Multiple other voices. These voices sounded so familiar, from somewhere but I just couldn't place them. The world was slowly coming together in my head. The blackness was slowly receding away. I could feel the sun's warmth on my face. I was laying in a bed of some sort. It softness sapped me of my strength. So for now, I listened to the voices.
"I must say, Twilight. You certainly picked up quite a handsome stallion."
"I uh really like his mane."
"Now that he's here, when do we throw the party?"
"If you said he's fast, why is he a dumb ole earth pony and not a Pegasus?"
"There's nothing wrong with bein' an earth pony, it seems to fit him just right."
"Girls, could you try to be quiet? The transfer took a lot out of him, he needs his rest."
Then everything came together, hitting me like a freight train. TwilightStallionManePartyEarthPonyPegasusTransferEarthLightDarknessAKissMidnightSonataWarTwilightLibraryBar.
My Little Pony
My eyes shot open. I was in a library. Not just any Library, Twilight's Tree Library. I was in a bed, probably Twilight's bed, and I could feel the six pairs of eyes glaring me down.
"Um, Twi? I think your friend might be awake."
"Toby," I felt something touch my shoulder. "Stay calm, you're amongst friends. You're in Ponyville. Just stay calm please. This might take some time getting used to."
I sat up in the bed, facing the voices. There they all were. Twilight, Apple Jack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash. Ponies. All in front of me. Giving me a worried look. I went to rub my face to see if I was dreaming. What came up to my face was not my hand, but a hoof. In shock, I brought up my other hand, but again, another hoof. Both were of a grayish-brown color and both began to shaken violently. I tossed off the blankets covering me. Lo behold, two legs with hooves on the end replaced my feet. I moved them suspiciously, like they weren't mine. They can't be mine, last time I checked my legs were broken and didn't function properly. Wait... is that a... a tail? A short blonde tail with brown highlights. I eyed with caution as it moved. Moved the way told it to. Okay, I took a deep breath, it's attached. Alright, um, what?
I jumped off the bed, just in uncertainty of what is going on. My legs failed and I crashed to the ground. My heartbeat quickened, my breath short and fast. I stumbled and tried to get up. I looked everywhere, gathering all the information I could. LibraryPoniesI'mAPonyPonyvilleEquestria.
"Oh...my," is all I mind to formulate and produce from my mouth. Somehow I was able to get on my feet, or hooves. The group eyed me with caution and worry.
"Toby," A familiar voice spoke. Twilight. The girl, now pony, who I've shared the most recent months with, stepped forward from the group. "I know this all seems so strange and distant, but please do your best to remain perfectly calm."
"oh my..." A timid voice spoke. Fluttershy if my memory serves me right. "He has a nice cutie mark."
"Hmm," Rarity this time. "It's only fitting, seeing as he was a soldier."
"So, that's what he's good at?" Rainbow questioned. "What his special gift is?"
"Well, maybe if you be quiet for a minute, Sugarcube. You'll find out."
IHaveACutieMark.
I nervously turn my head to where a normal cutie mark would be. Right there, right on my gray-brown rear end. A shield with one sword behind it.
IHaveACutieMark.
IAmAPony.
I looked at my hoof as I brought it up to my face. Then I punched myself in the face, hard by accident. Unaware of my own strength. I took a step back from the heavy blow. Nope, not a dream, not a fantasy. That clearly hurt. and the other ponies look at me, their faces in bewilderment at what I just preformed. Just to make sure, I again hit myself. Yeah, still hurt. Nothing has changed. Ohmyohmymyohmy. The left of my face was numb from the pain. Pain. I rubbed my face then looked at my hoof. There was blood on it. Blood. My blood. Whatever drove me to do this, I decided licked it. Yup. That's definitely blood. My breath became short and fast. This is all real, that's my blood, the pain is real, what else am I missing. Why is it so difficult for me to believe.
"Toby," Twilight spoke. Tears formed in her eyes. "Stop that, there's no need for that. Please. Stop."
I took a deep breath again, as I sat down on the floor. It's all real, all so real. Right here. I'm here. I'm really here.
"Twi?"
She walked closer and sat in front of me. Her violet eyes looked at me, while I could not meet her gaze. "Yes, Toby?"
"One thing, and one thing only."
"Yes, what would that be?"
"Why is the room spinning again?" That was the last thing I got out of my mouth before I fell against her then hit the floor, blackness surrounding again.
My eyes jolted open, but this time I dared not move. I found myself on the bed again. Still in Twi's house, her tree library. The sun was entering the nearby window. I sighed, letting my head sink back into the pillow. My thoughts slowly began to reorganize themselves.
Where am I? Better yet, WHO am I? Right. Miller, Toby. Sergeant. Or am I? No, that rank has long since past. OK, now where am I again? Ponyville? Is that even correct? Yes, I remember now, something about a transfer into Equestria. Ow, why does my head hurt? Wait... I remember again. I punched myself. I punched myself in the face… twice. Twice, in front of... oh my... them... all of them. I knocked myself out, in front my girlfriend and her friends. Wait, did I black out? Making a fool outta yourself then hitting the floor. Well then, Toby, you've certainly made a wonderful first impression.
"Hey, you're awake!" Turning to the direction of voice, I see it's just Twilight walking up the stairs. Her smile shone like the sunlight entering the window next to me. I sat up in the bed, slowly.
"How did you guess that?"
"Please, I have a sense for these things." She gave a reassuring smile. "Also, I'm fairly sure the rest of Equestria heard you sigh."
"Oh, right." I brought a hoof up to my face, which startled her for a second. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on hitting myself anytime soon. Besides, I really didn't think that all the way through." Rubbing my face, I could feel where the bruises were forming. "Twi, how long was I out?"
She brought up a rag, wet with water, and began to wash my face. "A few days? You've been in and out of consciousness since we've arrived back, and it's been a week since then."
"Ugh, I get the feeling I've done that before." I managed to make a weak smile.
She set the rag aside and moved close towards me. "Yes, but this time you're with me and under my care." I felt her cool lips press against my cheek. "And I'm not going to let that change."
"Thanks, because I don't think I would have it any other way."
"You're too kind," rolling her eyes in mock amusement. "Now come on," she spoke assertively, using her magic to take the blankets off of me. "You've got a big day ahead of you. You've got an audience with the Princess. It's not every day that a pony gets a chance to speak with the ruler of Equestria. Well," she giggled a bit, "no normal pony that is. Come on out of bed. Your mane is a mess from all that sleeping you've been doing."
"Wait, I have hair?" Reacting in shock, I ran my hooves over my head, finding that in fact I did have a full head of hair.
"Well, why wouldn't you?" Twi gave me a weird look.
"It's just cause I never really had hair. Remember? Military regulations and such. Even before my military days, I never liked having a full head of hair."
"Then you should've seen yourself before now." She laughed. "You didn't have any hair. Like any hair anywhere. I guess you were still "cooking" from the transfer. Though, I can say now I've seen a hairless pony that was not in a book. I can mark that one off the check-list."
"I bet it's probably one of those things you don't want to see ever again, right?"
"You can say that again," another voice came from the stairs. It was only Spike, carrying a bag up to assist Twilight. "Just when you think you've seen it all, a naked pony drops from the sky."
"Spike, did you pack everything?" Twilight questioned.
"Yes! I double, triple, quadruple, and quintuple checked the list you gave me."
"Thank you, Spike. Now you!" Twilight shot at me. "Get out of bed, it's time for a bath."
"No!" I playful answered, pouting and crossing my forelegs. "You can't make me." I soon found myself tossed on the ground looking up at her smug grin. "You and your magic."
"Bath. Now." She gently pecked my nose. I could almost hear Spike roll his eyes at the sight of us. "We can't have you going to Princess smelling like you were rolling in dirt."
"Not that you've never done that before." I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Noooooothing." My grin widened. "Nothing at all."
"Now you're just asking for it."
* * *
I guess Twilight decided to take the scenic route to Canterlot. The Princess provided us tickets to take the train, seeing as it would maybe help familiarize myself with the area. The Princess was even kind enough to give us a cabin to ourselves. So there we were on a train to Canterlot: Twi, Spike, and I. What a scene that was. I was on the couch by the window, gazing out the window, watching the scenery fly by. Twilight was asleep next to me. Her head was resting against my body. Her soft snores brought a smile to my face. I didn't blame her for being so tired. After taking care of me for that long, she’d earned her nap in my book. Spike was sitting across the cabin and, from the sounds of it, writing another report. Though I couldn't see him, I could feel his glare.
"I don't know if you have this expression here, Spike," I spoke, finally deciding to break the silence, but keeping my focus on the scenery, "but we had this thing called the 'thousand yard stare'. I can tell you have one, because I can feel it." I turned to face him. He dropped his quill and only held a scowl. "Speak your mind, kid. I personally like the honesty better than having to wait for the knife in my back. Trust me, I know what that's like. It ain't fun."
"Look, Mr. Toby, no offense to you. I just don't see how Twi fell for you. I mean you harmed others of your kind! While she has helped everypony she's come in contact with. You two are too different! I just don't see what she sees in you."
"Spike, I can't explain love to you, because I can't explain it to myself. Love works in mysterious ways, especially when love finds you," motioning to Twi. "I mean, isn't that the same way with you and Rarity?"
He was taken aback by that statement. "Well, I mean…" he began to blush. "She is one beautiful pony."
"No, Spike. That's why you like her." I shook my head. "Why do you love her?"
He put a claw to his chin, scratched his head in thought. "Well, I guess I can't explain it."
"And that's love, Spike. Unexplainable, but yet," kissing Twilight on the forehead. She nuzzled a bit closer to me as a smile grew on her face, "something completely natural."
"Well, I guess you’re right." He picked up the quill and began to write again. "Twilight was right to say that I should have great expectations of you."
My ears perked up at that comment. "Did she say that?" Receiving a nod in response, then speaking softly to myself, "Hmm, clever girl."
The rest of the ride went by smoothly. The scenery was beautiful, reminding me of my time in Germany. With the massive forests, the rolling hills, the many rivers. Albeit this is nothing like Germany, it was the closest thing I could think of. The train eased its way into the station and I gently nudged Twi awake. She gave me a guilty smile for being asleep the whole trip.
We made our way off the train and into the inner city of Canterlot. Words did not do this city justice. It was a city made of gleaming pearls, fresh from being cleaned. My mouth was held agape the whole time while we walked to the palace. It was beautiful; it was awe-inspiring! Twilight only giggled at my stunned emotions.
She bumped into me, snapping me out of my stupor. "So Toby is finally quiet, unable to speak. I never thought I would see the day. I should've brought you here sooner."
"I must admit, it's quite the centerpiece of Equestria." A quick pause. "That's about all I can say."
"I'm glad that all you can say are nice things."
"Well, I normally like to say nice things when I’m faced with both a gorgeous scenery and a beautiful pony next to me." I gave her an overdone wink, just to add to the corniness.
"Stop that," she giggled, adding a playful bump to accent her statement. "You're too kind."
Trailing behind us was Spike, clearly not enjoying himself in the current situation. Out of the corner of my eye, he was struggling a bit to carry the bag Twilight gave him. And by the weary look on his face, listening to us banter on wasn't helping much either.
"Hey, hold up one, Twi." I stopped and met Spike halfway, and knelled in front of him "Spike, jump on. You've had enough walking for today. You deserve it."
"Thanks Toby," Spike sighed as he climbed on me. "Is there a reason you're trying to get on my good side?"
"Well, now that you mention it, no," I tried to keep my pace slow so I could talk with Spike before I caught up with Twilight. "We're a team now and being on a team means no one gets left behind. I lived by those words most of my life, I'm not letting that creed go just because I'm a pony now."
"You guys are having one of those manly talks, aren't you?" Twilight questioned.
"Nah, Twi," I gave Spike a reassuring glance. "Spike was just telling me about some of his exploits. Spike, I think you were in the middle of telling me how you saved Rarity from the Diamond Dogs, right?"
"Oh... yeah I was!" Spike took a moment to right himself and continue. "So there I was, outnumbered, three to one! Fighting against all odds to find Rarity and save her..."
"Toby, that's not how it went, trust me, I was there."
"Twi, let the kid talk. You're stiffening his imagination."
"But he's lying!"
"I see it more of it as creative thinking."
We discussed quietly in a corner café. We had stopped for a snack before our, well my, audience with the Princess. Spike had drunk too much punch and needed to use the "little dragon's room". Though I desired for something stronger than water to calm my nerves a bit, water was all I got. Twilight was occasionally nibbling at her salad. Something bothered her more than Spike's creative thinking, but I felt that it wasn't the time to discuss it. Another time, I thought.
"Ah, that's better," Spike said, announcing his arrival back to the table. "We about ready to see the Princess yet?”
"Oh, yes, of course! That nearly slipped my mind," I said. Then, frantically patting down my body, I looked over to Twilight sheepishly, "Hey, Twi, you think you could pick up the bill? It seems that I left my wallet at home."
She just rolled her eyes with a smile. "Yes, but only just this time." She placed some bits on the table and then off we went.
With Spike on my back and Twi on my right, I sure got a few looks from other ponies. Wondering who I was, where I came from, but they only talked amongst themselves, barely speaking above a whisper. I could only guess what they were talking about. I shook the thoughts out of my head. Stay focused Toby, you've got to keep your eyes focused ahead. Disregard them, you've got an audience with the Princess, you'll be known soon enough.
We continued on to the palace, and like the rest of Canterlot, was a sight of amazement. Its white walls were accented with golden roofs. This time I made sure my mouth was closed while I was busy being in awe. Crossing the moat and closing in on the front door, we were approached by two white pegasi.
"State your name and business here."
"Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville. Here with me are my assistant Spike and a new resident of Ponyville who has an audience with the Princess today."
The pegasi did a quick look over of all of us. "The Princess told us to expect your group." One of them said. "Very well, make your way to the throne room." They opened the door and let us pass.
Once out of earshot, I let go of the breath I realized I was holding in. "Twi, why didn't you tell them my name? That seems kinda sketchy, don't ya think?"
"Toby Miller," Twilight said nonchalantly. "Kind of an odd name for a pony, don't ya think?"
"Well, when you put it that way, I guess you're right."
"Of course I'm right. That's what the Princess told me to say anyways."
"Oh."
The walk to the throne room wasn't too far, but it took us past the well decorated halls of the palace. Huge stained glass windows adorned each wall. Statues of great ponies long since past stood in majestic poses. I wanted to questions about each pony, but I knew that was for another visit. I'm here to talk with the princess, not on history lesson.
Reaching the massive golden doors that separated us from the throne room, we were greeted again by more winged guards.
"The Princess has been expecting you," one of them spoke, motioning to me. "You will enter and wait for the Princess to arrive."
"Wait…" Twilight asked, quite puzzled. "He's just going in alone? What about us?"
"As per the Princess' orders," the guard answered, putting emphasis on his words, "he will enter alone and have a personal audience with the Princess. She has asked for you two," motioning to Twilight and Spike, "to wait, but she will see you both after she is done."
"Hey, Twi, don't worry about it," I reassured her. "I'll be fine. A few minutes alone with the Princess isn't gonna kill me," adding a nuzzle to add weight to my words. "Besides, I've been in far worse situations that this."
"Okay." She stepped back with Spike, while the guards opened the doors in front of me. "Just come back in one piece this time, alright?" Spike waved, unsure of what else to add to Twilight's words.
"By your word," I nodded to make myself clearer. "Besides, nothing bad is going to happen, I'll be in and out, simple as that." The doors were then shut, echoing in the large room. "Well, I hope."
* * *
I was alone, waiting. Waiting for what it seemed like forever. Forever in this huge room. A room adorned with all the "normal" items. Flags, trophies, coats of arms. It was everywhere. A red carpet leading up the throne accented the room.
Where the bloody hell is the Princess? I thought to myself. You'd think if she made this appointment, she would at least be on schedule. A creaking of a door opening behind the throne silenced my thoughts. I straightened up, ready for a talk with the Princess. Unexpectedly, a white pegasus guard walked through the room and towards to me instead. He wore what appeared to be a blue dress uniform with an emblem of a crown on either side of his collar. His jet black mane was slicked back. Clearly, he someone in charge and very important. He circled me, getting a better look at me, as a whole.
"I thought I was meeting with the Princess."
"All in due time," He answered smugly. "And you address a superior officer as 'sir' and stand at attention when they are addressing you. Understand me, Sergeant?"
"Yes and no," I was pissed. No, pissed was an understatement. "I'm not part of your military, nor will I be." Seeing as he already knew my rank as a human, he must already know about me. "I've served my time in hell; I will not serve more time here. I would also like to know who I am being addressed by."
"You're being addressed by Lord Swift, Captain of the Guard." He came closer, now face to face with me. "I know who you are, what you've done before you came here. Princess Celestia has kept me 100% informed on you and I must say I'm impressed. I've been watching you, Toby. And you've been enlisted ever since you got here." Gesturing to my cutie mark, he said, "That's the mark of the guard, you've been marked to serve, and you cannot deny service to your Princess."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"You're lucky," he stated mockingly. He was clearly enjoying this. "Thanks to your prior service, you've been promoted, Lieutenant."
"And if I refuse?"
"Well," a sly look crossed his face, "I don't think it would be wise to deny your Princess' personal request."
"Where's the Princess," I really wanted to put my hoof in this Lord's face. Forcibly. The frustration I had right then, I'm surprised I kept my cool. "I would like to bring it up with her personally... sir"
"That will not be necessary," he began to walk back to the door where which he entered. "She is in audience with Twilight and Spike and has quite a busy schedule in the coming weeks. Months, actually."
"You certainly love your job, sir," I spat at him.
"Indeed," he opened the door. "Follow me; we have to get you your uniform. We can't have our new Lieutenant out of uniform, can we?"
"No," I trotted angrily behind him. "Not at all, sir"
Following him deeper into the palace, we entered the guard's barracks. A humble place, surprisingly enough. I would have never guessed it with the stallion walking in front of me. There were relatively few beds, maybe about thirty. There were even fewer guards in the barracks, probably less than ten. A small mixture of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies. A few gave me a glance or two, but went on about their work.
"Now, you'll be joining a small response team," Swift started. "Usually tasked with small things such as sorting out disputes, disturbances, distress calls. Maybe even a security detail somewhere. A bit more low key than your used to, don't you think, Lieutenant?" I only nodded in response. "Good, affectionately called "Phoenix Team", they are a bit more laid back than the more normal guards we have. But we let them have their way because they don't handle the serious stuff. Eventually, you'll move up and out outta this laid back group when we see where you stand on your loyalties, simple yes?" Again, only a nod.
Lord Swift led me into a side room, where there were only two other ponies. A unicorn, who was in his own world, working on a piece of art. From the looks of things… well, I simply had no idea what he was working on. The other was a pegasus, he was laying on his back throwing a ball into the air and catching it repeatedly. Both were stallions with grayish coats. The painter's mane with white, while ball player was red.
"The unicorn is Painter," Lord Swift began. "The pegasus is Player." Both ponies nodded in response to their name. Wow, I thought, lucky guess? "Team, this is your new LT, Philosopher. Your first assignment will be at 0700, tomorrow. There've been reports of disturbances in the Everfree Forest and you'll be sent to investigate. Philosopher," Lord Swift motioned to the unoccupied bed in the corner. A new, blue uniform was on top of it. On either side of its collar was a single gold disc. "You have your men, uniform, and assignment.” And NAME, I thought. “I suggest you get your uniform on before seeing Ms. Sparkle." He began to exit the room with a criminally wicked grin on his face. "Good day, gentlemen."
I waited a few moments before I spoke, only slightly worried about whether his Lordship was out of earshot or not. "Ok, would either one of you like to explain how that lowlife of a stallion got his job?" I stomped on the ground, accenting my frustration. "Which princess did he have sex with, tell me that!"
"If you really want to know," Player spoke. He stopped for a second, catching his ball, and sitting up, "the honest answer is probably both of 'em."
Now in uniform, I stormed out of the barracks and through the throne room. The guards at the door barely had time to open the door before I was passed them. Twilight and Spike were both there, waiting for me. Twi had a worried expression on her face while Spike held one of curiosity, though both looked stunned to see me in uniform. I walked past them, so frustrated I couldn't see straight. They followed close behind me until we exited the palace.
"Back in the uniform then?" Twi asked, unsure of herself. "I thought you wanted out?"
"Yes, I did, but it would seem others wanted otherwise."
A short pause, then, "How was your talk with Princess Celestia?"
"Wonderful," my voice dripping with sarcasm, "couldn't have been better! I even got a name! Philosopher! What a BRAND new day!"
"You don't have to lie to me, Toby or Philosopher." Twilight nearly yelled. "I know you didn't meet with the Princess. She met with us, she never meant to meet with you today, but she will tomorrow."
"Well isn't that just great," I stopped and turned to face her, "because I have my first assignment tomorrow at oh-freaking-early! I was told to serve, that I was marked to serve. This Lord Swift is really starting to get on my nerves!"
"Wait," Twi was taken aback by my sharpness, "did you say Lord Swift? When I left he was barely a first officer... he told you you had to serve? That's not what the Princess told us. She ordered Lord Swift to offer you choice. She knew your sacrifice, what you've gone through. That's why she offered you a choice, one she knew you wouldn't take. I wouldn't think he would place you on assignment as soon as you got here! That doesn't even seem right!"
"No, it doesn't feel right at all! It felt like I was coerced, conscripted even! I was told it was the Princess's PERSONAL wish that I serve! What was I supposed to do? I didn't know!" Then my mind caught up with me. " Wait, I take it you know this pony?"
"Well," she got a bit nervous and started to turn red at my question, "yes, I did."
"Previous suitor, I presume?"
Twi breathed deeply. "Yes, but that was a different time then. He was different."
"I certainly hope he was different then, because he seems quite the asshole now. Though, I doubt he's the type of person to change." It took me a second to see that Twilight was on the verge of tears, to see the weight of my words. "Twi," my voice dropping to barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry," I came closer and put my forehead against hers. "I'm just not sure what will happen now."
"It's fine," sniffling through her words. "I...I... just take me back to the train. I've got to get a few things from Ponyville before the audience with Celestia again tomorrow. Believe me, I've got a few words for her as well. Just.. get me to the station. I'll try to work this out."
I stepped back a bit, knowing that I truly fucked up. "Alright, I can do that."
* * *
I watched the train slowly pull out of the station. I offered a single wave to it as it left but knew it wouldn't be returned. With the train gone, I was alone on the platform. I never felt this alone before. Granted, I caused it, but being in a brand new world with no one who cared around... Letting out a sigh, I turn around and exit the station. No use standing around here, I thought to myself. You've done enough damage.
Making my way back to the palace, two emotions gripped my mind. One was guilt for the words I said and the other was anger for what words I had received. I have been deceived, lied to, and that does not fly with me.
Before I realized it, I was back in the palace, storming to the barracks, pissed off as never before. Though the other ponies didn’t know me, they quickly realized it was clearly wise to look down or away from me for fear of provoking my rage at this time. I nearly kicked down the door to my new teams’ room, I stared down Player and Painter, but both kept to their own business.
"Something up, LT?" Painter finally asked, keeping his focus on the artwork.
"Where is Lord Swift?" I growled through gritted teeth. "I've got a kind word or two to share with that stallion."
"Out on assignment ‘til the day after tomorrow," Player said in between sound of his ball bouncing off the wall.
"Out on assignment?! You've got to be kidding me! Agh, how convenient..." I started to pace, trying to keep my anger in check, but to no avail. "I apparently have an audience with Princess Celestia tomorrow. You know, when we're assigned to check out the Everfree Forest?"
"Seems like the Lord to do that," Player responded.
"Yeah, Philosopher, sir" Painter continued. "This happens a lot. He seems to have a knack of knowing when our meetings with the Princess are. Especially for us low on the totem pole." He stops for a moment and shrugs. "You get used to it after awhile."
"This is a joke," my voice began to raise in volume. "An absolute JOKE! Doesn't Lord Swift have to answer to the Princess?"
"He should, but that doesn't mean he does. Besides, I'm sure one meeting with the Princess can wait on the terms of a safety check of the kingdom she rules," Player said nonchalantly.
I let out a yell and collapsed on my bed. "This is one FUBAR'd system." I said under my breath. I stared furiously at the dark wall above me for a few moments, lost in anger and thought. "Well, what about training?" I spoke, still trying to drill a hole in ceiling. "This is my first show here. The Grand and Glorious Lord Swift surely wouldn't want to send me in without any training."
"LT," Painter sighed, putting down his brush. "Sir, Lord Swift put you in this group to test you and your skills. He just wants to see how well you do in a leadership position. This is where most of the new LTs go anyways."
"Yeah, LT," Player reassured. "Calm down a bit. You'll get to see the Princess soon enough. Let’s just finish tomorrow's assignment and you'll be home free."
"Sir, " Player spoke. "Get some rest, you're gonna need it."
I sighed and rolled over on my bed. Might as well, I thought to myself. It's gonna be a long first day on the job. Better make it count, for what it's worth. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift away. I thought of how unfunny Players’ pun was. I thought of her, of Twilight. I thought of how I was going to make it right her, if that was even possible.
* * *
Before I knew it, it was time to wake up. Painter nudged me to get up. It was still dark, the sun wouldn't be up for a couple of hours. I rolled out of bed and dawned my uniform; not the dress blue uniform from yesterday, but a black field uniform with a patch of a blue phoenix sewn on the left foreleg. Wishing for a cup of coffee, as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
"Come on Sir," Player joked. "It's a walk to the Everfree forest, so we need to get going."
I shook my head, "Then what are we waiting for? Let's get down to business. Painter, brief me on the situation on the way there." I received a nod in reply from the artist. "Right then! Player! Lead the way!" Player threw a mock salute, extended his wings, and took off a few feet ahead of us. "Okay, Painter, what are we facing today?"
"Sir!" Painter began, trotting quicker to get beside me. "Reports have been varying." He pulled a map out of his pack for a visual. "Everywhere from large explosions here, here, and here," pointing to various spots on the map, "to possessions and hallucinations of passerby ponies," pointing to multiple points near a trail. "The victims under possession report that they felt like puppets and then performed in a puppet show. Hallucinations range from large glowing bears to loved ponies of the victims long past. The best we got on the target is a pony, possibly a unicorn, average height, with a long white or blue coat. We have orders to capture and detain the suspect."
"So, we're looking for a pony, maybe magical, playing puppet master." A smile crossed my face. Just like every HVT I went after back in the day. Same shit, different day... different world. "Alright then, try to stick together, but if we get split up, regroup at the trail and out of the forest. I don't want to give our target the home field advantage on this one. You tracking?"
"Affirmative, sir."
"Good. PLAYER!" I called to the pegasus in front of us. "Keep above us ‘til we get there. Air cover won't do us any good once we get there, so you're gonna have to get your feet dirty for once."
"You know how much I love to do that, LT," said a voice from above.
I shook my head, a slight smile on my face. What a bunch of characters. We continued to the Everfree Forest in silence. Painter slightly behind me and to my left, Player flying above, forward, and to my right. The sun was starting to rise over the horizon, shedding its light across the land. The little cloud cover made this day quite beautiful. Equestria was waking up to a brand new day and I was on the march.
The entrance of the Everfree Forest loomed in front of us. I paused, calming myself. Player drifted down next to me and Painter approached from behind. We stood there, looking into the forests’ beckoning shadows.
"Right then," I began. "File up; Painter, up front and leads us with a light. Player, in the back, yell if you see something. Ten step intervals. Move." Painter moved up front, using his horn to illuminate the path in front of us. I waited a few moments then followed, Player following suit soon after. Painter's beam of light shifted from left to right, searched through the shadows. I too tried to search, but the shadows were deep and dark.
Slowly, a fog began to drift in. "Tighten it up! Five pace intervals! And stay alert!" I shouted, realizing the fog was quickly growing thicker. "I don't want to lose anyone!" But it was like no one heard me. Painter kept walking away, barely visible in the gathering fog. Turning around, I saw that Player was nowhere to be seen. "Team! Sound off!” I yelled, panicking. It was like speaking in an empty box. My voice echoed, but I heard nothing in response.
A voice cried out from what seemed like all around me, "Toby!"
It was Twilight's voice. But... she couldn't be here, I thought in apprehension, could she? "Toby!" It cried out again.
I stopped and started to turn in a circle, trying to track the voice. "Hello? Who's there?"
A figure emerged out the fog in front of me, and it was my purple pony. "Don't you recognize me, Toby? It's your love, Twilight."
"Twi?" I questioned as she approached closer. "What are you doing here?" She was now in front of me, the fog following her steps.
She was face to face with me now, her violet eyes stared into mine. "Toby, I just wanted to see you. Can I not do that? See my very special somepony?"
Before I could respond, her lips were firmly planted on mine in a kiss. Her eyes closed in the moment, but I was unsure, wary of the situation. When her eyes opened, slowly, I watched as those violet eyes change colors into a much lighter purple, and her coat change into a blue hue.Oh no, was all I could think. Suddenly, I was tossed to the ground with magic, my legs tied together. Struggling the best I could to get away, I received a hoof pressed against my neck. My eyes were the only part of me able to move. Looking up in helplessness to the mare above me. A unicorn wearing a conceited smile.
"A fighter? Oh Trixie is going to have lots of fun with you."
So there I was, somewhere in the Everfree forest, in what appeared to be Trixie's home, and, on top of that, I was tied to her bed. Certainly not the way I planned my first day on the job, I thought to myself. Trying to capture the target and end up being captured yourself, that's a new one. Each leg was tied up to a separate bedpost, and the rope had begun to rub the skin around it raw, bloody even. The gag in my mouth prevented me from calling out, but it was unlikely I would’ve been heard anyways. New shit, different day, brand new world.... this does not bode well with you, old bean.
Trixie barged into the room with her normal fanfare. "OH! You and Trixie are going to have lots of fun! Trixie is going to make some splendid food, maybe serve up a drink or two..." she plopped herself on the bed next to me. A coy smile formed as she rubbed a hoof on my chest. "Maybe you and Trixie can play a few games?" She laughed as she jumped off the bed. " Oh, of course we're going to be playing a few games!" She stared at me, waiting for a response. "Right, how could Trixie forget." I felt the gag be loosened and then removed.
I waited a few seconds, formulating the thoughts in my head. "I at least want some answers, now."
"Trixie is a good host and will answer your questions," she paced around the bed. "Though it depends on the question, but ask anyways."
"Fine, I guess that's better than I expected." I steeled myself, trying to get my mind to think. I never planned on an interrogation, but I need at least something out of this conversation. "I thought you were some side-show magician; run outta town by an Ursa Minor."
"Those were the days of the Great and Powerful Trixie, watching my previous home destroyed along with my reputation by that Twilight Sparkle..." for a moment she had a look of furious disdain, but it went away as fast as it appeared, "but for now, it's just Trixie. For now. Trixie has grown, she has learned. Living in the Everfree Forest in exile, I had to pass the time somehow. So I practiced magic. Preying on the occasional passerby has it's benefits, a good laugh here and there, but Trixie misses her show."
"Which is why you started making other ponies puppets?"
"Puppets is such a harsh word. Trixie made them actors on the stage! Trixie wanted to share the joys of being a star on the stage."
"That still doesn't explain the large glowing bears and making other ponies see their loved ones."
"Trixie just wanted to share the fear she experienced with other ponies." Trixie tapped her hoof on her chin. "Maybe the Ursa Minor was a bit excessive, but it was just an illusion and good practice."
"Now what about the loved ones? You sure know how to get in pony's head."
A smug smirk appeared on her face. "That took a bit for Trixie to master. Put a pony in a sense of apprehension, nervousness, fear," she climbed back on the bed, straddling me, " and their thoughts and memories become scattered, easier to access." She laid her head on my chest, listening to my heart beat furiously through my uniform. "Now, Philosopher or Toby, however you want to be called. What about you? Trixie doesn't know much about you, apart from what's she's seen in your head." She propped her head on one of her hooves, the other drawing circles on my chest. "Trixie knows that you are... together with that despicable Twilight Sparkle, which made capturing you quite fun and irritating at the same time. To take the form of one Trixie despises so much to capture you..." She wanted for me to respond, but got nothing.
“What about me?” I fidget nervously under her. “Where do I fit into the picture here?”
She waited a few moment then began to pull at my uniform. "You guard ponies are all work." starting to unbutton the uniform. "And such handsome ponies as well, sad that other ponies don't see their uses. Trixie would have thought Ms. Sparkle would use you to her advantage, but Trixie has you now."
I was about to open my mouth in protest, but found the gag back in place and tied tight. This can't be happening, I thought to myself. I pulled on the ropes harder, feeling my muscles stain and the ropes cutting into my skin, blood beginning to flow again. But with the ropes and her on top of me, it was to no avail. No no no, this can't be happening! I just got here, this is just a dream! I looked into those criminal eyes with that devious smile. I pulled on the ropes harder, feeling pain shoot up my arms at each attempt.
Trixie leaned closer to my face, up to my ear. "This is not a dream, this is going to happen," I could almost hear the smile in her whisper. "So please be a good pony and enjoy it for Trixie, would you?” She paused for a moment and licked my face, “Welcome to Equestria."
* * *
"Spike, please tell me you have the notes."
"Of course I do, Twilight. I know how important these things are to Toby. We got on the earliest train we could to get to Canterlot, requested the earliest time with the Princess Celestia, what else are we missing?"
"I don't know, Spike. That's the problem."
The sun was just over the horizon, not a cloud in the sky. The pegasi sure did a good job a clearing the skies, Twilight thought. Hopefully we can keep this nice day going. The two were yet again on a train to Canterlot. Twilight was behaving quite the opposite of her last trip on the train. She paced up and down the cabin, carefully reading some of her notes.
"Twi, you're going to end up creating a hole in the train, quit pacing."
"Spike, I'm just worried for Toby-"
"You mean, Philosopher?"
"You're missing the point, Spike! Toby is out there on assignment right now! I hope it to be his last assignment. He's done enough, he doesn't need to sacrifice more than he already has!"
Spike scratched his head, confounded. "Didn't he sign up for it though?"
"Spike!" Twilight turned and faced down the dragon. "Weren't you paying attention at all?! Toby got conned in. I should've known Swift would do something like that."
"You mean that one pegasus who tried to go with you to the Gala before you went to earth?" Spike questioned. "He seemed alright, but he sure didn't like the fact that you said no."
"I didn't want any attachments when I went to Earth," Twilight resumed her anxious pacing. "I was planning on being gone for a long time and I figured that a relationship here would be detrimental to my studies. And besides, Swift wasn't my type. He seemed to brash, and I guess I was right."
"Yet," Spike still seemed confused, "you brought one back with you... Twi, sometimes I don't understand you."
"You don't have to understand, just help me hel-," the train slowing to a stop ceased her sentence. "Spike! Grab everything and jump on. We've got to get to the Princess now!"
Spike jumped onto Twilight back, carrying many packs full of scrolls and other assorted notes and pictures. "Twi, I don't see how this is going to wor-OAAAAAAAH!" And the two took off to the palace. Twilight with a determined look on her face and Spike hanging on for dear life.
"Well, that went over better than I thought it would."
"Twi," Spike gave the purple pony a weird look. "Celestia agreed with you 100% even before you began to talk. She even had the paper releasing Mr. Toby from service signed before you got there!"
"Exactly, Spike." Twilight gave a smile that beamed achievement. "I didn't have to argue and I got exactly what I came here for. That's why it went better than expected!"
"But there wasn't going to be an argument, there never wa-"
"Spike," Twilight interrupted. "You're ruining this moment I want to enjoy."
The dragon sighed. "Whatever you say, Twilight."
The two characters were on their way out of the palace after their meeting with Princess Celestia. Spike was still struggling with the scrolls he was carrying, while Twilight had a spring in her step as they walked back to Canterlot. It was about a little bit before noon. The sun shined brightly through the clear skies, side street stalls were open to the public, and everypony was coming out to enjoy the wonderful day. Nothing could ruin this beautiful day, Twilight thought. Well, her eyes sagged a bit from her recently acquired lack of sleep, except for maybe my need for caffeine. "Spike, why don't we stop by that cafe you like and have some tea and something to eat?"
"I sure hope they have rubies today," Spike rubbed his grumbling stomach. "I don't know long my aching stomach can last without a good plate of rubies."
Twilight smiled. "After all you've done the past week, Spike. Watching after Toby while he was recovering, organizing all my reports... I think you've earned a few rubies, maybe even a sapphire or two." The little dragon's resulting stomach rumblings were probably heard for miles around because of that statement. Twilight giggled, "I'll take that as a simple yes."
* * *
"Who wants a nice cup of tea?"
The voice and the door opening awakened me from my sleepy stupor. I rolled my head over to get a better look at where the noise came from. It was only Trixie entering the room, she carried two cups of tea and a playful smile. Miller, Toby. Philosopher. Lieutenant. The words echoed hollowly in my head, trying to force my mind to remember what has happened. Come on soldier, think! But nothing wanted to respond. My body lay limp, almost completely drained. Gathering what little energy was left, I attempted to lift a hoof to my face to rub the sleep from my eyes, but was stopped short. Glancing over to it, I could see that it was covered in dried blood and still tied to the bed post. Should have known, I’m still tied up. The situation hasn't changed. I took a deep breath, Wonderful start to this part of the day.
"Trixie would like an answer, but she can understand if you are overcome with ecstasy from the quick rump with Trixie. What pony wouldn't?" Her tone was all playful, clearly happy at what had transpired. "It is Trixie we're talking about."
The damn pony is full of herself, was all my thoughts could seem to say. I let my head sink back into the pillow. Weariness slowly beginning to take back over my body. Note to self: add this pony to the list of ponies that need to take a long walk off a short pier. I chuckled quietly to myself. That makes it two ponies then. Lord Swift-hoof-up-the-flank and Trixie, I paused in thought. I'm sure I'll think of a name for her soon enough.
"Though," she plopped herself next to me, setting the tea aside, "Trixie is quite impressed with your," she put a hoof on my chest and gave a coy smile, "abilities, if you will. So, Trixie has rewarded you with a cup of tea," she brought the cup of tea up to my mouth with her magic. "Don't be shy, just have a sip. Trixie made it herself." The tea was a bit hot and didn't taste like tea at all, but it didn't matter to my parched mouth. It eagerly welcomed the liquid slowly running down my throat.
"How was that?" She took the cup away from my lips. "Trixie only wants to please her guest."
"Come closer, please" I whispered, my voice strained to even respond. The blue pony leaned closer. "Closer," I whispered again. Again, she leaned in closer. Her face was near enough to be close, but kept her distance. I leaned up and whispered into her ear: "Your guest only wants you to take that cup, and go buck yourself."
"UGH!" the outraged Trixie shot back, taking a few steps away. "How rude! Trixie only wants please her guest and you treat her like this!"
"Yeah..." I lightly tugged at my restraints, wincing at the small sharp feelings of pain shoot up from my limbs. "You certainly know how to treat a pony right."
"Trixie just wanted you to stay put." A smug look began to form on her lips. "If you don't like the rope, Trixie can certainly get the leash and collar, if you want that."
The thought ran through my head, "No, I think I'm fine where I'm at now."
"That is what Trixie thought." She trotted out of the room. "Trixie will be in the next room. If you need anything, just say something. Trixie will be glad to help."
Like I would ask for anything, I thought, rolling my eyes. I let my head sink back into the pillow again. Miller, Toby. Philosopher. Lieutenant. My hollow thoughts rang out again. You'll be outta here soon, soldier. A glass of orange juice, yeah... orange juice, and you'll be back to normal. Somehow I managed to form a smile, but slowly, my weariness got the best of me. My thoughts began to drift. You'll make it, you'll make it back to her...
* * *
Twilight sipped her tea with a smile while Spike munched on the small bowl of rubies and sapphires in front of him. Canterlot was fully awake now, and the bustle of everypony out and about added to the ambiance of the street side cafe. The purple pony observed everypony going about their business, feeling the natural urge in her to be doing something productive. I’ve already completed the biggest thing on today's list of things to do, she thought to herself reassuringly, taking another sip of her tea. And besides, I'm way ahead of schedule for today, I'm sure a small break wouldn't hurt. She let her mind drift away in the midday sun.
"More tea, Miss?" A voice asked from behind her.
Twilight turned, "Yes, that would be grea- Swift?" There stood Lord Swift. He was in uniform, but his jet black mane wasn’t slicked back as usual, it was instead ruffled. Clearly, he was just flying. Nonetheless, there he was, quite to Twilight’s surprise and now appearing anger. So much for my good day. She thought to herself.
"You seemed so surprised," the white pegasus began. "Since when can't a friend stop and say hi these days?"
"But Princess Celestia said you would be out until tomorrow, or tonight at the earliest."
"Ah yes," the pegasus sat down, drawing an agitated look from Spike. "It would seem my use in Cloudsdale was very limited, so I got out a bit early. I thought, why not enjoy this beautiful day in Canterlot? Just thought I would enjoy some of the perks of being Lord Swift." His face shined with pride.
"Yes, I heard about that promotion." Twilight responded, clearly frustrated at his presence. "But, it would seem that you and a lot of other ponies had the same idea," Twilight took a sip of her tea. “Anyways, what brings you here, as in right here? Come to flaunt some more, your Lordship?"
"Well," Swift rolled his head in annoyance, "you can't quite enjoy a splendid day without a few other ponies." A cough from Spike and Swift stared him down for a few seconds, "Oh, and a dragon. My apologizes. So, when I saw you here all alone," another cough from Spike. "Well, not quite alone. I thought I would join you for a nice cup of tea, and see how you’re doing."
"Swift, I'm flattered," Twilight flashed a false smile that looked ready to turn to a snarl, "but I need to get going, I've got a busy day ahead of me, lots of things on the list today." She stepped away from the table.
"You wouldn't mind me asking what is on that list?"
"Well, I've got to buy some more parchment and ink." She motioned to the packet of scrolls and reports next to Spike. "While zealously writing my reports, I may have run out."
"Hmm," Swift thought for a moment. "Indeed."
"And," Twilight started, "I'm meeting up with Rarity to shop for clothes and fabrics." Spike's eyes lit up at that name and Swift couldn't help but roll his own.
"Then I have a nice dinner planned for Phil- Pinkie Pie back at Ponyville which requires some spices that I can only find here."
"Hmm, I see."
"So you see," Twilight paused. "I must get going." She placed a few bits on the table. "Come along Spike." The dragon sighed in half protest, picked up the bag of scrolls, and followed Twilight. "Um, it was nice to see you again, Swift." Though, I hope I don’t see you again anytime soon, Twilight thought.
Swift sat there for a few moments, watching them go. "He's still out there," he called out. That statement stopped Twilight in her tracks. She returned to the table, staring Swift down.
"What did you say?"
"OH!” Swift began his sarcastic reply, “Now you want to talk."
Twilight rounded the table and stood face to face with Swift, who now held a small grin. "Answer my question, Swift!"
"I think you heard me quite well, Twilight, but if I have to repeat myself, I will. He's still out there. Your friend may have found himself lost on his first assignment, or should I say your coltfriend by some the things I've heard." His grin only grew as he knew he had the upper hand.
"I don't have to have my actions approved by you!" Twilight shot back, now red with both embarrassment and anger. "In fact, I couldn’t care less. And what do you mean lost?"
"I just stopped by the palace for a few moments to check up on a few things, and it would seem that two out of three ponies on his assignment checked back in." He grinned as he chuckled a bit. "I look forward to reading their report later."
"Just. Tell. Me. Where. He. IS!" Twilight spoke through her teeth.
"There’s no need for that tone, Twilight, because I don't know," Swift spoke, feigning the innocent victim. "I haven't read the reports yet. Trust me, when I find out, you'll be the first to know.
Spike pulled at Twilight, "Come on Twi, we need to get going." But she only shrugged him off. Continuing to stare down the pegasus, her anger brewing.
"Yes, Ms. Sparkle." Swift sipped on his own cup of tea. "You have such a busy day ahead of you. You must certainly get to it. Don't let me hold you back."
"Don't think this conversation is over, Swift!"
"Oh, but I look forward to continuing this conversation later." Taking another drag of his tea.
"Come on, Twi," the dragon tugged again. "Not here, we've got better things to do than argue in public." Gesturing to the eyes of ponies watching around them. "And we don't want to keep Rarity waiting."
Swift waved the two goodbye. "Do try and enjoy your day, alright?" If he was waiting for answer to his wave, he never got one. The purple pony and the dragon walked into the market and then were out of sight. He took another long sip of his tea, a smile stubbornly holding its place on his face. My, my.What a wonderful day this has turned out to be, indeed.
It was a beautiful sunset and the city's night life was slowly beginning to open up. Though the night life didn't quite reach the park bench we sat on in the central park, I didn't mind too much. Looking at the sunset through the treeline and city skyline in front of us, cane in one hand, Twilight in the other, it was a normal evening we shared. Twi was almost curled up in a ball next to me. Her head had apparently found a soft spot on my shoulder. It wasn't a cold evening but I didn't mind her warmth in the least. The street lamps were beginning to flicker on, casting their glow along the park's paths. I could feel one of her hands gingerly rub up and down my arm, bringing a small smile to my face. It was peaceful, a feeling I hadn't experienced in awhile. I glance down at Twilight on my shoulder, the lavender scent of her hair was intoxicating. I felt her every heartbeat, her every breath, and she felt mine.
"Hey, Twi," I spoke quietly, careful not to break the mood. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
"I don't know," she shrugged.
"Well, that’s a first," I mused. "Ms. Twilight doesn't know what she's thinking about."
She lightly punched my arm. "Well then, Mr. Thinker, my philosopher, what's going on in your head?"
"Well, I was thinking-"
"That's normally what most people do with their brain," she interrupted.
"Shush," I said, trying to keep my serious face on. It wasn't working. "I'm just thinking about a few things."
"Which would be.... what?"
"Just the magical sight before us," I replied, taking a sigh of happiness, "and then us."
"What are you getting at?"
"Well," I started to laugh, "if you wait a second, maybe I can get to it." She turned to face me, giving an adorable look of innocence with those purple eyes. "Alright, I just had a random thought."
"Which most of your thoughts are." A comical smile appeared on her face, while a look of mock annoyance was placed firmly on mine. She gave me a quick kiss on the check. "Sorry, continue."
"Okay," pausing in case of another interruption. "Right, so. Here we sit, looking upon the achievements of man, standing tall above the horizon. We've disconnected ourselves from our roots. Like trees, if we lose our roots, we fall, unable to stand. Even the simplest sight, such as these trees in the sunset, do not require interference from man to create beauty. It's just the way nature made it." I took a deep breath, finishing my train of thought.
Twilight stared at me for a few moments, only shaking her head. "What?" I finally ask.
"You are such a nerd." She playfully pushed me.
"Me?" I announced in mock shock. "You're one to talk, bookworm!"
She rolled her eyes, "I haven't the slightest idea of what you are talking about." She smiled as her head found its place back on my shoulder. "But what does that have to do with us?"
I pulled her close and looked her in the eyes. "When I figure it out, I'll be sure to tell you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
She jabbed my chest with a finger. "Say it."
"Do I have to?" I sighed in mock annoyance.
"Yes," She jabbed again. "Say it."
"Ugh, fine." I sat up a bit and took breath. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Going through the motions, following with an "OW" as I poked my eye, gently. "Is that better?"
"Yes," She wrapped her arms around me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Much better."
* * *
"Hey," a voice called out, waking me from my sleep. "Trixie would like you to get up!" Slowly, the light began to flood my eyes.When my eyes finally adjusting, I was surprised to be staring into the blue unicorn's eyes. "Wake up, you sleepy head. Trixie has some plans for you today. But first, Trixie must ask if you dreamed of her?"
Remembering the past dream, a memory from a different life, I simply answered, "No."
"Strange," the unicorn pondered. "Trixie thought your dreams would be run amuck with thoughts of her."
I shook my head. "I didn't dream at all," I lied. "Even if I did, it wouldn't be about you."
Trixie jumped off the bed, and began to pace. "Trixie is shocked! After all she's done, you should at least be grateful."
I stared her down in annoyance. Can't a pony take a freaking hint? I thought. "Well Trixie," I pulled at my restraints, "You've got me on the ropes on what I should say about you."
"Trixie is flattered with your puns and is feeling quite generous, so she will let you out of your restraints for once." That's a good start, I thought. Maybe a chance to get out of this second circle of hell. "Trixie needs you to help her with some of cleaning. Also, she maybe have you help Trixie make a cake."
I could only stare in complete pessimism. "I bet there's a catch, because I know you won't have me running free in your home."
"Oh, of course!" A coy smile began to work it's way onto her face. "You remember the leash Trixie mentioned earlier?"
My face switched from pessimism to disdain and disgust. "Aw, buck."
* * *
I should at least be grateful that the princess let me stay in the palace, Twilight thought as she paced the spacious room. Even if it does bring me closer to... she let out a half-pained sigh, Swift. Her continued pacing was to the annoyance of Spike, who tried desperately to get some sleep. I mean, it's only been one day, four hours, and 17 minutes since his reported disappearance.
"Twilight?" Spike spoke from under the pillow that covered his head. "Could you please get some sleep, you've been at this for hours."
"I can't, Spike!" He's still got a promise to keep. "We've been separated before, yes, but now he’s gotten lost in a world he doesn't know and it's all my fault!"
"Are you even listening to yourself, Twilight?" The dragon peeked his head out from under the pillow. "He's here on his own free will... well, actually, he's here for you. Yes, he may have got tricked into serving in the Guard, but he trying to make the most of it because," Spike sat up in his bed, "he loves you, Twilight. And love works in mysterious ways, yet is completely natural."
"Spike, that's very mature of you. Where did you learn that from?"
The dragon beamed, "A very smart pony told me that, you might know him."
"Hmm," Twilight grinned. "I bet I do."
"Anyways, Twi," Spike questioned. "What are you going to do about it? Swift has got us under a watchful eye and he’s clearly up to something. He hasn't even told us where Mr. Toby is! How do you expect to do anything?"
The pony flopped herself on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Ugh, I don't know, Spike. At this point, it's all wishful thinking." She lay there for a few moments, gathering her thoughts, but she couldn't remain still. A knock at the door drove her into motion. Maybe it's Princess Celestia, or... Swift. She shuddered at that option. No, maybe it's Rarity coming to show me how Toby's suit is coming along, or maybe it's... Twilight opened the door and her smile dropped to a look of unexpected surprise. "Um, can I help you two?"
"Yes," the white unicorn began. "In a manner of speaking, Ms. Sparkle, you can."
"By which we mean," The pegasus next to him spoke up, "it's how we're going to help you."
* * *
I sighed, tied up like a dog, sitting in the kitchen like a dog, be ordered around like a dog. All that’s missing is Trixie telling me to roll over and play dead. If it gets to that, I thought, the pony afterlife better ready itself for one blue, pain in the ass unicorn. Though the wounds on my legs were still fresh, at least they were starting to scab over. It was tough to walk as it was, but the leash around my neck only gave me so much freedom to stretch my legs. Attached to one corner of the room, the rope was long enough to let me to halfway across the room.
"Pass the flour, would you?" Trixie called out. "Trixie can't bake a cake without flour."
And you can't make an omelet without cracking a few heads. I thought to myself, carrying the flour over to Trixie. Or was it eggs? I set the flour down next to her. "Can you please tell me why you are baking a cake?"
"Trixie is only showing her guest a good time, so Trixie thought to bake him a cake. Trixie's cakes are one in a million." A smile appeared on her face, proud of what she was doing.
"Whatever," I spoke in annoyance. I gingerly trotted back to my corner, careful not to excite any pain in my legs. I pulled at the rope and latch connecting me to the wall for the umpteenth time this hour, hoping it would budge, but I ended up disappointed again like all the other times. I sighed, I'm never going to get out of here, am I? I thought to myself.
"Trixie would ask for you to stop," the unicorn mused, stirring the milk into the flour, "but your struggling amuses Trixie."
"Well," I spoke in anger, trying to pull at the rope with my hooves to no avail. I could already feel it cutting into my skin. "If you hadn't tied this dang rope so tight around my neck, we would have less of a problem."
"Trixie doesn't want you missing out on her cake." She put the cake batter into a pan and then slid it into the open oven, unnecessarily bending over and showing me her flank. "Well then," she spoke coyly, walking towards me. "It seems that you and Trixie have thirty minutes until the cake is done. How about we play a game?"
"No." I replied with a straight face. Standing my ground, stepping a few feet out of the corner.
"No?" Trixie asked, adding a smile to her face. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Looking her straight in the eyes, my face showing little emotion, while my soul burned with anger. "I do not want to play a game."
She sighed. "Trixie suspected you would be difficult." Her horn lit up and I was tossed into the corner; each of my legs pinned to the wall. "Luckily, Trixie has magic, which will prove difficult for you to resist." She approached, sitting down in front of me, her face mere inches away from mine. "Trixie only wants for you to have a good time. Why must you fight it?"
Remain calm, Toby, I thought, feeling her hooves move up and down my chest, her eyes try to stare into my soul.You are not letting this happen again. You've got to think on your feet! Well, hooves. Think, Toby! Use the head that your mother gave you and think of a way out of here! Then it struck me, the simplest idea of them all.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head back to the wall, and slammed it into her face, sending her to the floor. She didn't move, apparently knocked out cold. Her magic ended and my legs were released. I sat there dazed for a few moments, until the pain began to register.
"OOOOOOOW!" My forelegs shot up to my head, rubbing my forehead with my hooves, trying to ease the pain. "OW OW OW, I can't believe that worked!" I staggered back up on my hooves, still rubbing my head with one. "Okay... now that one problem is solved." I turned my attention to the latch holding me to the wall. I sighed and turned around, picked up my hind legs, and simply bucked the latch. Pain shot through my body like a bullet. Apparently, I hit the latch wrong. "ARGH! BRILLIANT MOVE, TOBY! Let's kick something stuck to the wall and metal! GAAAAH!" I stumbled around, hitting the ground, but at least the latch was broken and I was free, save for the rope still around my neck.
"You know," I glance at Trixie's unconscious body, "I should probably throw out some zippy one-liner about eating cake or using my head in a tough situation." I thought about this for a moment, then shrugged. "Nah, dumb mare shouldn't have gotten in my face." Hobbling to the door, I open it into the bright afternoon sun. Then I stumbled out into the forest as fast as my four injured legs would carry me.
* * *
The three of them were galloping as fast as they could to the Everfree Forest. Well, two of them were galloping, the third was flying a few feet above the pair.
"Who did you say you were again?" Twilight asked.
"I'm Painter, he's Player, and Philosopher is our LT." The unicorn responded next to her. "We wanted to help you get him back. No pony left behind, you know."
"How did you know to come and get me?" The purple pony questioned again.
"Well," Player answered matter-of-factly. "It was an easy guess that you were somehow connected with Lord Swift and his recent bouts of anger. Trust us, he likes to yell names."
"But he's your commanding-," Twilight started.
"Yeah, he's still an asshole," Painter interrupted.
"Point taken," She merely responded.
The mid-afternoon sun hung over the three heads when they arrived at the entrance to the Everfree Forest. They stood at the entrance, staring at it. Not as shadowy as it once was, but still as foreboding.
"Alright then. Ms. Sparkle, please stay close to me," Painter began. "Player, you stay close as well, I really don't want us being split up again."
"Will do, Painter," Player responded. "Let's go get the LT back."
With that, the three entered. Painter on the left, Twilight in the middle, and Player hovering slightly above and to the right. Painter traced the path in front of them with a beam of light from his horn. Twilight did the same, careful not to miss a single inch of path or treeline on either side of the path.
"Painter," Twilight spoke, careful not to break the other unicorn's concentration. "What exactly are we looking for?"
"That," Painter calmly responded. "Is an excellent question. At this point, anything that will help lead us to the Lieutenant."
"Oh, well..." Twilight began to respond, but a rustle in the bushes behind stopped her train of thought. The three ponies turned quickly at the sound. Two beams of light shone on the spot of the sound. From the spotlight, one bruised and bloody pony stumbled into the path.
"Oh, hey there, you guys know the way out by chance?" I managed to say before collapsing into the dirt. The group rushed to the downed pony.
"Lieutenant! Don't worry, we’ll get you out of here!" Painter started. "Goodness, I hope this isn't your blood all over your face. How are you doing, talk to me."
"I got a small headache," I started, "but I think I'll manage. Hey, Twi," turning my attention to the worried looking purple pony next to me. "You remember that promise I gave you?"
"I do," she spoke softly.
"The headache makes the facts a bit fuzzy," I rambled. "All I know is it had something to do with how beautiful you look and how I can stand to look at your natural beauty some more," I shrugged. "Not as poetic as I thought it would be, but I'll remember the rest eventually."
She giggled lightly, "Promise?"
"Yes ma'am, I can promise that."
"Come on, LT," Player spoke up, "before you promise anything else. Let's get you home."
The rifle felt heavy in my hands as I fired a burst downrange, watching the man fall, roll, and then remain still on the road. Bullets whizzed overhead and around the car I was behind. The ping of a round off the hood the car sent me back to cover. I popped up again and fired another burst; the bolt locked back, the magazine empty. Changing mags under cover of the car, the firefight intensified as more insurgents hopped into the fray. Slapping the bolt release and hearing the satisfying click of the action hitting home, I pop up again, firing. “MILLER!” Sergeant Darvon called out over the increasing amount gunfire. “TAKE PAUL AROUND THROUGH THE ALLEY AND TRY TO GET A NEW POSITION AND HIT THOSE BASTARDS! WE GOT YOU COVERED!” “YOU GOT IT SARGE!” I nodded to Paul; he was at the car next to me, spent cartridges were littered around his feet, his rifle steaming heat from overuse. He nodded in affirmation to me. “SARGE! COVER ME WHILE I MOVE!” “COVERING FIRE, MOVE!” At that I hopped up and moved across the road, taking position just forward of the entrance to the alley. “IN POSITION! PAUL, MOVE!” “MOVING!” He called out through the smoke and the haze, vaulting over the car’s hood. He took position behind me, facing toward the entrance of the alleyway. I felt a light shove; signaling Paul was in position and ready. I shoved back, turning to follow Paul into the alleyway.
The alleyway was much darker than the street we were just on, yet just as nerve-racking. Paul took on the right side, facing behind, while I was on the other side facing forward. Slowly we paced forward, the sound of the raging gunfight behind us growing less predominate. We scanned high and low as we walked forward.
A man holding a rifle jumped out from a doorway into the alleyway, firing a burst at Paul; he hit ground with an agonized cry. Moving quickly, half from adrenaline, the other half from instinct, I crouched and brought my rifle up. I must’ve dumped over half a mag into the insurgent. The target slumped in the alleyway, unmoving. I shuffled over to Paul’s slumped body, keeping the insurgent covered with my rifle, Paul was still breathing, thank god.
“Paul, you alright? Talk to me.”
His answer was strained, “Damn Haji just got the vest. I’ll be fine. I’ll be bruised, but I’ll live.”
“Good,” I extended my arm, which he received, and pulled him to his feet, “‘Cause I sure as hell ain’t telling your wife how her husband’s best man failed to save you.”
“You wouldn’t make it out the door,” He laughed. “Besides, I still owe you for the speech you gave at the wedding.”
“Hey, hey,” I voiced innocence. “All fair play. You’ll get your chance someday.”
“I better.”
We took our positions back on the wall. Slowly, but with all due haste, we worked our way down the hallway. By the sounds of the firefight on the street, our two squads were in a bad place. They were holding their own, but how long until the rest of the city took to the street? We needed to move. Wary of doorways, we made it down the alleyway where it made a ninety degree turn left. I motion for Paul to stop, which he does. I peek around, it was nearly a dead end and empty, save for the door. Pointing to Paul, then the entrance, we moved in unison to the door, taking positions on either side. “Paul, you ready?” I spoke just loud enough to be heard by him. “As always,” he replied, reloading his rifle in the process. “Let’s hit ‘em.”
Paul kicked in the flimsy wood and I was through the door before it hit the ground. And suddenly, I wasn’t in the alleyway anymore, or a house. I was in a forest and Paul was no longer with me. One blue unicorn, however, was. A sly grin spread on her face as she walked towards me. Sighting my rifle on her, I pulled the trigger, but the rifle merely clicked. Taking a few steps back, I pulled the charging handle and tried again. Once again, I was rewarded with a click. My hands shaking, I heard again and again the rifle just click as I pulled the trigger. Suddenly, my rifle fell away as my hands morphed into hooves. My gear and equipment fell from my body as I found myself on her level, on four hooves. A pony. My pace quickened, trying to back away faster as her grin grew wider on her face. To my perpetual luck, my back hoof found a tree root and tripped and fell. Soon, I was on my back, facing this blue unicorn. Struggling to get away, I began to pull myself away with my front hooves, watching the unicorn slowly stalk towards me, her coy smile gleaming now.
Back up against a tree, I tried to call out, yell, scream at the top of my lungs. Anything at all, but no words would resound from my lips. I tried to move, roll over and run, but my body failed to respond. I could only watch in horror as the unicorn approached closer and closer until she was directly in front of me, her face mere inches away from my face. “You knew and Trixie knew, she would find you again.” A knife surrounded in blue aurora floated next to her head menacingly. “Why did you leave? Trixie only wanted to share some cake.” Her lips slowly pressed against mine. I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, in protest nor fear. Only watch in terror as the knife went up high then plunged into my body.
* * *
I shot up, heavily breathing. It was still dark out; the moonlight flickered through the window next to the bed. I was in Twilight’s house, remembering that I was brought here after the doctors had checked me out and spent a day recovering in the hospital at Canterlot. Though I wanted to stay and finish what I had started, the Princess had ordered me at least two days bed rest before seeing her. She wanted me to be 110% recovered, no matter what I wanted to do. There was so much I wanted done, but I needed my rest. At this rate, it would seem like that was never going to happen.
Twilight was still sound asleep next to me, the moonlight glistening off her mane. Her body quivering with every breath she took. I rubbed my hooves though my mane. It was only a dream, I thought, only a goddamn dream. Rolling off the bed, I made my way to the balcony, trying to ease the unrest in my head.
I rested my forelegs on the balcony’s rail and look up. The night was brilliant, the clouds were few, but still managed to hide part of the moon from view. Stars glimmered, seeming to want make up for the moon’s small absence. I just couldn’t help but sigh, taking note of how different my head felt from the painting above me.
Goodness, Toby, my brain began. You leave home for a few days and look what happens. Hell, you’re not even here a week and you made yourself public enemy number one in the eyes of the Captain of the Guard and been held against your will by some crazy unicorn in the woods. Some R&R you received... I rubbed my hooves into my temples, trying to ease the pain of the nightmare. You can’t keep going on like this. Something is going to break and you know it. I wanted to breakdown, to cry, to wish this pain away, but pain of what? Pain of my previous nights? Pain from my previous suffering? Pain of the loss of a great friend? Seemed to be pain of everything. The light breeze rustled through my blonde mane, helping push a tear from my eyes to the ground. Take a deep breath...Come on, Toby, calm those nerves down.
A pair of hooves lightly wrapped themselves around my midsection and a head laid itself on my shoulder as the smell of lavender entered my senses. I fought against my standard reaction to be drawn into action. I sighed; old habits are hard to break. Besides, it was only Twilight.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Her voice sung into my ear. “I forget that sometimes. Sad that some ponies don’t appreciate this sometimes.”
“Well, they’re probably smart and fast asleep.”
She giggled slightly. “Why aren’t you then?”
“I don’t know, I just can’t sleep,” I say, looking over the quiet town of Ponyville. Why shouldn’t it be? It was still the middle of the night.
“Then what brought you here?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I thought I could come out here and think. Try and clear my head. Though, thinking only perpetuated the emotional conflict in my noggin.”
“What seems to be eating at you this time?”
I thought about what had happened; everything from the past day or two. Left alone, nearly wanting to die out there with her. The things that happened between us and in that room, that bedroom from hell. Unable to do a thing against it. I shook those thoughts away as quickly as they appeared. No, not now, I only thought.
“Twi,” I spoke softly. “There’s a lot I don’t know and what I do know still confuses me to no end. And personally, these last few days have been quite rough. Both on mind and on soul.”
Twilight moved from her position behind and came beside me, taking my hoof in hers. “You… you want to go back, don’t you.”
Looking her in the eyes, I managed to smile. “Ms. Sparkle, I’m not going anywhere. Let that be known. It’s fair to say, I’m having a hard time adjusting.” I chuckle a bit. “Not that the welcoming committee was to blame for it or anything.”
She too laughed a bit, “Speaking of the welcoming committee…” She let the sentence drift.
“Let me guess,” shaking my head in amusement, “Pinkie’s got a party for me? Tomorrow, no less?”
She smiled wide and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Well, she wanted to do it earlier, but seeing as you were… well… away at the time. She decided to have it when you felt somewhat better.” Her hoof gingerly traced the scar on my foreleg. “But if you aren’t feeli-.”
“I’m fine,” I meekly replied, nuzzling her gently. “Besides, I’m sure getting out for a bit would do me some good.” I gestured to the door with my head. “Come on, you and I both need our sleep if we’re going to last through one of Pinkie’s parties.”
* * *
The party was in full swing by the time the sun was down. It seemed most of Ponyville was there to greet me, if not just stop by and say hi. My right forehoof was sore from shaking what seemed to be nearly everypony’s hoof. A warm smile here, a friendly greeting there; it was all so very welcoming. I even had a nice conversation with one brown earth pony. His talk of, in his words, “wibbly wobbly timey wimey” stuff was quite entertaining. I had to keep myself from laughing; time travel seemed so ludicrous! Although, I traveled across dimensions so maybe there might be some truth to it.
Though at the same time I was being constantly bombarded with ponies, surprising myself with greetings, a flinch for every unexpected hoof on my shoulder, a twitch from any accidental bump. Pinkie’s party cannon alone nearly sent me diving to the floor, wanting to scream out.
Why can’t there be anything harder to drink, I think to myself, looking at my cup of punch. Might do my nerves some help. Shaking my head lightly, Damn nightmares, why now? Part of me wanted to curl into a ball in one of the corners of a closet and hide. Why now? I was fine before, but why are these dreams coming back now? Sipping on the punch did little to further my thoughts. Maybe you’re just getting old... that argument nearly made me laugh aloud. Or your nerves are shot to who-knows-where, and your stress has finally caught up to you. And why is every little thing now startling you? Gosh, you’re starting to act like Flutters-
A gentle hoof on my shoulder stopped my train of thought and nearly sent me through the roof. Taking a breath in, I turned to the user of the hoof. It was Twilight with a concerned look on her face.
“Come on,” she said with a smile of reassurance. “Somepony needs their rest.”
“Yeah,” my head sagged. “You’re probably right.” A small smile and a chuckle found its way out. “Like usual.”
“Well, not about everything,” she responded humbly, playfully rolling her eyes. “Just about most things. And besides, you have a busy day scheduled at Canterlot tomorrow; partying all night long is probably not a smart thing to do.
I lightly nodded in affirmation, “… Yeah.”
“Come on, then,” Twilight pulled for me to follow. “Let’s get you home.”
Home, I thought. What a two-sided word.
We said our goodbyes, though most were disappointed to see me go, especially Pinkie. I assured her that I would party ‘til the cows came home next time. One Pinkie Pie Promise later, Twilight and I were out the door. It was another brilliant night that Luna blessed us with; a clear sky with bright stars and moon, both working in unison to light up the sky.
“Like an artist,” I blurted my thought aloud.
“Huh?” Twilight gave me a strange look.
“The, um, sky...” I pointed out, trying to recover from my outburst. “I was commenting on Luna’s work on the sky tonight.”
“Oh,” she looked up, also admiring the sky.
We continued to walk back in silence, I could only wonder if her thoughts were as disconnected as mine. If you could figure out what is slowly eroding your sanity, my mind spoke, then maybe if you put that threat to rest, you wouldn’t have to wait for the knife in your back. A small shiver shot down my spine.
Her home was, thankfully, warm; with symptoms of fall in the air, the weather was growing colder. Struggling to even get up the stairs and into bed, it was I could to do to keep from collapsing face first into the pillow in exhaustion. After awhile of laying there, I felt a warm body lay itself next to me. Twilight was apparently done getting herself ready for bed. Her hooves rubbed patterns in my back. Glancing up from my pillow, her amethyst eyes met mine, her mane was up in a bun, and her smile was coy. A fresh smell entered my senses; she apparently just came out of washing herself.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over whatever it is you’re thinking of,” she spoke softly.
“I’m trying,” I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. Her hooves still drew circles on my chest. “For some reason there’s a lot that I seem to have on my mind.”
She moved herself onto my stomach, propping her head on her hooves, looking down on me. “You just need to relax a bit, okay?”
Before I could formulate a response, her lips found mine, interlocked in a passionate kiss. Slowly, my thoughts drifted away, and my emotions ceased to be troubled. All I was focused on was here and now and the pony I now share this bed with. Wrapping my hooves around the pony on top of me, I brought her closer to me. What a beautiful night.
* * *
“Lord Swift, sir,” A guard approached and began. “Scouts report that the target has begun to show signs of delusion before, during, and after the party. Reports also indicate that the target has been unable to sleep well as of recently.”
The pegasus made a scoffing sound in the darkness of his office. “And what would the target happen to be doing at this time?”
“Sir?”
“What is that pony doing at this very moment!” Lord Swift yelled.
“Um, Sir,” The guard was hesitant to respond, fearful of the response. “The target is now engaged with one purple mare unicorn in…” the guard let the sentence hang.
“That pony doesn’t know when to keep it in, does he?” Lord Swift mumbled to himself. “You are dismissed, leave me.”
“Yes, sir,” The guard performed a crisp about-face and exited Lord Swift’s office, closing the door behind him.
“It seems we’re going to have quite a show tomorrow.” He took a slow drink of his tea, savoring the herbal flavor. “What a beautiful night to celebrate.”
The sun, peeking itself through the window, woke me from my slumber. Luckily, there was still a smile on my face, because nothing impeded my sleep. No bad dreams, no bad memories resurfacing, just peace. Though, the thoughts of my past week stuck in the cabin with that… crazy mare… still plagued the edges of my mind. Opening my eyes, I could see a tangle of purple hair. The warm weight on my stomach confirmed that which was on top of me. Her quiet, warm breath along neck and chest told me she was still fast asleep. I let my head fall back onto the pillow and quietly wrapped on hoof around the mare on top of me. A sigh of relief was released as I closed my eyes again. It was too early to let a moment like this pass. I knew there were things to be done, like get ready to see the Princess, but there were more than enough hours in the day and I wasn’t one to ruin the mood.
“You left them,” A voice spoke. I casually open one eye to gaze around the room, trying to pinpoint the origin of the voice. “It’s just you and I, in your head,” the voice answered my wandering eye. “All the people you left; your friends, your brothers-in-arms, and your poor mother.”
“I knew what I was getting into,” I replied. “My luck was dried up. I needed a new start so I decided to come here.”
“Here? And has your luck changed?”
“If you’re in my head, then you and I both know the answer to that.”
“I asked the question. Has your luck changed for the better? Because I think being held against your will in a cabin in the middle of a forest does not count as good luck.”
“Well, no shit. You don’t say. Maybe you want to add ‘clearly being hated by a Captain of the Guard’ while you’re at it, but I’m kinda busy.”
The Voice paused, gathering words for an attack. “You know, Sam and his girlfriend got married because you saved him. He’s planning to name the first boy after you.”
My train of thought came to a dead halt. I’d never thought about really anything like that. I just let go of that part of my memory. I could almost feel the voice smile at the progress it made.
“What about Paul?” the voice asked coolly. “When are you getting married so that Paul can stop by and give a best man’s speech? I’m sure he would be tickled pink to see you here, in a world so full of smiles and happiness, so far away from the world you lef-“
“STOP,” is all I could scream in my head. “STOP, NOW!”
“What about your poor broken mother?” The voice kept going. “She died a few days after she got the news of your death. In the condition she was in and you just left. You knew that was going to happen.” The voice continued nonchalantly. Abysmally cold. “You monster. Broken and alone, the only thing she was holding on to was you. You selfish, greedy bast-“
“PLEASE!” I could feel the tears flowing now. “JUST STOP!”
“Hey,” I heard a soft angel giggle out from the darkness. “We can’t stay like this. You know how Spike gets when he… Toby, are you alright?”
I open my eyes to find Twilight’s purple globes staring into mine; deep concern played all over her face. Her mane flowed over both of us, separating us from the outside. I take a deep breath, “Yeah, I’m fine.” I try to avoid her gaze.
“You sure? It looks like you’ve been crying.” She pushes her muzzle into mine, trying to stimulate a response. “Come on, talk to me.”
“It was just a bad dream,” is all I could think to say, my gaze stayed averted. “Nothing to be too worried about.” I felt a soft hoof against my cheek, pulling my downtrodden head up and into her eyes.
“If it has you down, it’s my problem.” Her caring smile transferred into a small one onto my face. “So please, talk to me.” Twilight smile turns a bit sly. “I might be able to get you some coffee.”
“You and your bribes,” I comment to myself. “But, I was just thinking about a few things, from home.” My smug tone drifts away as quickly as it appeared. “I wish you could’ve met my mother, she would’ve loved you. My mom had a thing for having to date a smart girl. She would’ve been absolutely thrilled that I finally found someone. She would’ve…” My voice drifts off as I fail to complete the thought. I sigh, letting my head fall away again.
She pressed her nose against mine, brings me back up. “I would’ve been honored to have met your mother. I am certain she would’ve been proud of you no matter what you did in life.” A light kiss punctuated her sentence. “And I’m happy to have at least met you and see what a wonderful pon-“
“Hey, Twilight!” A voice from behind the veil of her mane sounds out. “Breakfast is read-” Both Twilight and I peek our heads at the small green dragon coming up the stairs. “Oh, this again.” Spike quickly turns around back down the stairs as quickly as he came up them. “You two really need to get a sign so I know when to walk up these stairs, sheesh.” The dragons continued complaints slowly drift away as he heads back into the kitchen.
Twilight and I waited a few moments and then laughed at the tiny dragon’s misfortune. “You know,” I say, fighting off fits of laughter. “That may be not such a bad idea.”
The purple mare on top of me playfully hit me with one of her hooves. “That’s kinda hard to do for a room with no door.”
“Nah, you just have to put a sign on the stairs,” I shrugged. “I mean sure it would be a bit weird, but it would work.”
“It wouldn’t work at all and you know it.”
“You haven’t given the idea a chance yet! Give it a few days and it’ll grow on you.”
“Do you want your coffee or not?”
“Yes ma’am,” I answer with mock defeat.
She giggles. “That’s what I thought.”
* * *
It wasn’t long before Twilight, Spike, and I were on their way to Canterlot via rail transport. The sun was high overhead and the mood was light. We talked and laughed quite freely, almost in anticipation of the meeting with the Princess, though we altogether avoided the subject. Not in fear of what was going to be said, but again the anticipation of it. Part of me knew at some point I was going to have to tell Twi about what really happened out there... Let me tell you, that is something I was not looking forward to. Though, I wasn’t sure whether to bring it up now or wait until later. I knew that if I waited, the results weren’t going to be pretty; nor would the consequences be any much better if I told her now, but it would be better than later.
I waited until the dragon was asleep, which didn’t take too long. Twilight had been over-working the poor boy since I’ve been here. I keep telling her to let me do something, but she would have none of it. I smile at the memory of her telling me I should be in bed when I was helping Spike reorganize some of the books. Saying “some books” was an understatement. Apparently, Rainbow Dash came by earlier and needed a new book. Though she and Twilight talked, it was only in hushed voices when I walked by. Anyways, she needed a new book and went through most of the Library to find something related to Daring Do.
It was the day of my return, so, yes, I probably should have been in bed resting. In my defense, I knew the little guy was going to need some help on this one. So it wasn’t long before I was hobbling around, moving books to their respective places with Spike’s help. Of course she would come in when I was tottering high on a ladder, reaching to put a book on the top shelf. Naturally, my ears were targeted within seconds for a lecture about proper bed rest and recovery, courtesy of Proper Bedside Care: Volume 3. I guess I should count myself lucky she didn’t get to Volume 6.
Shaking the memory away, I tried to focus on the task at hand. Twilight was putting a blanket over Spike. He’d collapsed over his work and now Twilight was moving him to one of the couches in the car. I walked behind her, observing the tenderness and care the mare showed for the sleeping dragon. Something so kind, so motherly, it drew a light smile to my face.
“The kid looks cuter in his sleep,” I commented. “Don’t tell him I said that though, ‘cause he’d never forgive me for it.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” she giggled. “I’m just lucky to have him. Though he may be a handful sometimes, his heart is always in the right place.”
“That is very true,” I say. I casually walk around to where I took my place next to her, were both of us gazed upon the baby dragon. His body slowly moving up and down with each breath, we both barely move for fear of waking him.
She is first to break the lull in the conversation. “Toby, you ever wonder about… you know, stuff like this?”
The statement strikes me as odd, though it was only a matter of time before I heard something relating to this. Though in my mind I’m trying to regain control, my face shows little of this conflict. “The thought has crossed my mind once or twice.”
Liar, a voice said in my head. You’re scared of this, you’re not even sure of where to start thinking about it. I push the voice away, trying to regain control of the situation both in and outside my mind. “I’m not sure about it though. Why are you planning so far ahead?”
“I just like planning ahead,” she smiled awkwardly. “Just makes things so much easier when you get to them.”
“Seems to be planning too far ahead, don’t you think?” My face shows a look of concern, unsure if she actually meant what I think she did. “Is there something you want to say?”
“Not right now, no. I just wanted to ask a question, that’s all.”
“Oh, ok.” We remain overlooking the sleepy figure of Spike. His soft snores and the clacking of the train over the rails are the only sounds permeating in the train car. “Um, Twi?”
Her gaze never removes itself from the sleeping dragon, almost as if she believes shifting her vision will wake him. “Yes, Toby?”
“You know,” I slowly began. “As a soldier back on Earth, I would be shot at and shoot others.” She only nodded, knowing I had more to develop on the idea. “And a lot of the stuff I did and saw overseas, I don’t know where to start to unlock to doors to those memories. So many have been repressed, bottled up, and stashed away that talking about it only seems to hurt rather than help.” Her eyes drifted away from the dragon, but still only a nod. “I mean, even as of recently, there have been events I do not want to bring up ever again. Though, with this audience with the Princess, some of these suppressed memories are going to have to come out, and I want you to know at least some of these things so they do not surprise you.”
She held her composure, though some looks of confusion were easy to identify. “I kinda get what you’re getting at here, but what all else is there to say? I’ve accepted your duty to your country as who you are, but what other memories are you not willing to say?”
“Well, it can start with memories of my long since passed father, but that’s a different story.” Somehow, I manage to crack a half smile, though it was more for breaking the now-gloom mood. “Anyways, in times of conflict, men and women of war are captured by the enemy. Some are treated and respected as a formidable foe, as an equal. Other times, prisoners are sent through the ringer. I don’t think I need to explain to you about the Bataan Death March, life in a Soviet Gulag, or other examples of captors’ harshness to their captured.”
“I’m following, though I’m not sure what you are getting at, Toby.” A look of concern of was growing on her face, while my expression grew darker. “What happened?”
“Twilight, this is actually quite recent.” I sigh a bit, finally arriving to the heart of the matter. “The orders for my first assignment here was to detain one blue unicorn who likes to refer to herself in third person.” The look of surprise on her face told me she already knew whom I was talking about. “I was separated from my comrades and the captor became the captured.”
“What happened then? I take it wasn’t good.”
“I guess you’d like to know how I got these scars?” I chuckle at the dark reference, gesturing to my legs. “Walk with me; I really don’t want to talk about this around Spike.” She nods and follows me to the opposite part of the car, away from the sleeping dragon. “I don’t know where to begin. The cuts and scars were from being tied up; I can guess you assumed that already. Though I was not tied up to chair as I wished I were. No…” I pause, unsure of how to continue.
You have her on the edge, the voice said. Just finish the story. You have nothing to lose now. Just tell her, NOTHING could possibly go wrong, right? I only breathed while the voice berated me.
“No,” I finally continued. “I was pinned to four bedposts against my will and used. Very much so used. I cannot possibly begin to describe how I was forced against my will to do whatever that mare wanted.” My eyes drifted to the floor in shame as I felt her shock grow.
“Does that mean…?” She let that thought drift out in the open air.
“Yes, yes it does. I hate myself, unable to do anything against it. Used like an animal. It hurts.”
“Why haven’t you told me about this sooner?”
“I told the doctors and I checked out clean. Though I don’t know if I’ll be clean of all of it.”
She paused, gathering information that I gave to her. “Toby, how did you escape?”
“She made the mistake of trying to make me a cake and putting me on a leash. I really had to use my head to escape.” I sigh, more or less in defeat. “She’s still out there. I failed my first and last mission for the Guard.”
I feel a hoof bring my head up; it’s hard not to look into her face and watch light tears fall from her eyes. “Look at me; you should’ve said something earlier. I’ve said it before, if it’s bringing you down, it’s my problem as well.”
My feelings are still downtrodden, hard to recover from. “So, you’re not mad at me? Because I would understand if that was the case.”
A light smile appears from her tear-covered face. “At you, no. I just wished you didn’t keep secrets from me.” Her smile turned into determination. “Though now I have a score to settle with that unicorn once again.”
My mood begins to lift a bit; a smile finally finds its way onto my face. “I guess you don’t want me to witness the flank-kicking you’re going to dish out?”
She patted my head lightly, “Maybe when you’re older and can witness such beat downs as I’m going to give. Just let it be known, she touched my man, may Celestia have mercy on her soul.”
“Hell hath no fury than that of a mare's whose territory has been encroached upon.” I laughed lightly. “Remind me not to make you angry.”
She placed a light kiss on my cheek. “Stay on my good side and you’ll do just fine.”
* * *
The rest of the train ride went, thankfully, without a hitch. I was even able to nab an hour or two of sleep. Once again, I rested undisturbed. No dreams, no voices screaming at me. It was all well and good. At least until Spike woke us up. I think I heard his deep sigh before I felt the tap of his claw on my shoulder. Pushing my mane out of my face, I can see that Twi fell asleep next to me, laying her head down on my back. I manage to pull off an awkward smile for Spike. He only shakes his head, not in disgust, but because there is little he can do about it.
From the Canterlot Train Station, we made our way to the Palace were we awaited our audience with the Princess. My mind was a storm of emotions. Here I am, waiting to talk to the most powerful ruler in Equestria. Here is a ruler that actually talks to her subjects. I didn’t even get to talk to my mayor, much less the President. Being nervous was an understatement. The small conversation between Twilight and Spike was drowned out in my own fears. Twilight said to relax and be myself, so I was in the middle of giving myself a pep talk when I finally arrived in front of the door to the royal chambers.
Twilight looked at me with a caring, warm smile. “Are you ready?”
Taking a deep breath, shoving my insecurities away, and putting the voices back into the dark recesses of my mind, I said, “Yeah, ready as I’ll ever be.”
With that the purple mare nodded to the door guards and with a glow of their horns, the doors began to swing open. Light flooded the entrance; I had the shield my eyes with one of my hooves because it was so bright. Out of the light came the Princess of the Sun, bathed in the radiance of the light. The guards, Spike, and Twilight bowed at the sight her, so I followed suite.
“Welcome, my little ponies!” Her voice proclaimed. “Please, come in. We have much to discuss.”
Twilight and I followed the Sun Princess into the throne room, her domain shining through the stained glass windows. Windows stained with the achievements of time in Equestria: Discord and Nightmare Moon, for example. Most of them I was unable to determine the origin of, though I’m 100 percent that Twilight would be more than willing to explain to me every window, in detail, after this meeting. I was drawn to them, but I knew they would have to wait. My focus again returned to Celestia in front of me.
“I’ve heard you’ve been quite a busy pony in this recent week,” the sun goddess began. “Everything from Pinkie Parties to being kidnapped.” She shook her head. “If I could only say that isn’t normal.” We continued in silence until we nearly reached her throne, though stopped short. She turned, and spoke with sincerity, “I’ve been waiting for the longest time to hear what you have to say, Toby or Philosopher, however you wish to be called.”
“Ma’am, Toby will do just fine for now,” I spoke while gathering my confidence to report to the Princess. “Permission to speak freely, Ma’am?”
“You do not have to ask permission from me.” She waved off my question. “This is an open setting, not of military bearing, where we have gathered to speak about your experiences both on Earth and here.”
“With all do respect, Ma’am,” I sighed. “You are the ruler of this land and I only wish to show respect of that nature to you. I come speaking to the Princess of the Sun.”
“And I come listening as a friend.” She nodded with a smile. “You’ve done many things, both here and there that is deserving of respect and admiration. If it means that much to you,” she bowed slightly, “then you have permission to speak to me freely anytime, anywhere. I will listen with open ears and an open mind.”
In my personal opinion, having the ruler of a land you’ve only recently been living in, bow to you… it can be quite a shock to the system. The most powerful pony in all of Equestria is bowing, a sign of respect, to me in our first meeting. I think my heart forgot to beat for a few seconds.
“Well, um,” trying to quickly regain my composure. “Thank you for honoring me in such a way. Though I feel that might be a little much. Something I don’t quite deserve. Not yet anyways.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight spoke up, stepping forward a bit. “You have placed your life on the line on more than one occasion.”
“I did what any other man would’ve done in that position,” glancing over to Twilight, then back to the Princess. “We were brothers, a family. We lived, we fought…” I pause for a moment, gathering the next few words, “and we shed our blood together. I think I can some it up in quote from a well-known poet: “From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember’d; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For we to-day that sheds his blood with me; Shall be my brother.” It wasn't for the some medal or commendation... it was for the guys next to you, simple as that." I shift nervously where I stand. “Hey, Twilight? Where’s that picture?”
“Oh, right!” The purple mare opened her saddlebag and floated the picture of Paul and I towards the Princess with her magic.
“Princess, allow me to direct your attention to the picture in front of you.” I began to pace, unable to stand still, nervousness being a large part of it. “This man, my greatest friend, I owe my life to. Something I will never be able to pay back.” I stop my pacing for a second, taking a breath. “He dragged my burned, limp body back to the helicopter-.”
“A heli-what?” the Princess questioned.
I laughed a bit at that question, realizing that I have yet to explain a lot of things. “It’s a form of air transportation, one that isn’t the safest when things go wrong. Anyways, after this incident I was sent to rest and recover. During that phase, my friend, Paul, the man I more or less grew up with, was killed in action while on patrol.” I again pause in my pacing, feeling the watchful eyes of the Princess, Twilight, and Spike. “I handed a folded flag to his wife at the funeral. I watched them lower his body. He gave me a chance to meet Twilight.” I glance at the triad looking at me before returning my gaze to the floor. “He gave me a chance to start anew, here in Equestria. He gave his own life for me to have a second chance.”
“So,” the Princess started, “you are happy you were given the choice of coming here? Because I know my favorite student has taken quite the liking to you.” She looked over and smiled at the purple pony, whom began to blush. “And after reading some of her reports and the letters exchanged between the two of you,” That statement caused me to blush as well. I didn’t know everything would be taken into account at this meeting. “I can somewhat see that you feel the same way about her as well.”
“Ma’am,” I began softly. “I’ve been to hell and back. I nearly stepped over the line of death itself. Sometimes, I was nearly drinking myself into a coma.” I slowly walked over to them, keeping my eyes on the purple mare. “Now Princess, if you read those reports as well as they were written, you should be well aware that your most faithful student has saved my flank from the fire.” I stood in front of my mare with a smile, the red in her cheeks shining brightly through her purple coat. “Well, maybe not physically saving my flank. Perhaps more so mentally, but it’s closer to a soul-saving sort of sense.” Leaning over, I placed a light kiss on her nose, to which she giggled, the Princess smiled, and the dragon sighed. “Not once, but I think twice.”
“Twice?” Twi questioned with a sly smile. “I think you’re losing count. It’s surely more than that.”
“Oh, I’m sure we’ll debate the number later,” I replied, rolling my eyes playfully. Turning my attention back to the Princess, I said, “Yes, I may have been a soldier. Yes, I have dealt my fair amount of death. I didn’t do it for God, country, or some other reason or another. I did it because I knew someone had to do it. I did for the men that stood beside me. Being a soldier is one of those ways of life that is like nothing else in the world. The people… the experiences… are something you can never live in any other kind of work.”
“And your experiences here?” the Princess asked. “How would you compare it to your time on Earth? I’m sure there are quite some differences.”
“Well,” laughing at both the question and my upcoming answer. “Once you get past the fact that everyone is multicolored pony with a tattoo on their rear, the world is governed by magic, and there really isn’t much real conflict, there are clearly not many differences.”
“And your short time in the Guard?” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry about that mishap; I had no intentions of that happening.”
“It’s quite apparent there was a leadership issue.” I felt a bit colder when the thoughts of the past start to fade in: the cabin, the cake, her. “Because of that, I had to deal with myself being captured by the very person I was trying to apprehend.”
“Yes, I read your report, Toby.” The sun goddess moved towards her throne, picking up a lengthy sheet of parchment, and listed some things aloud. “Torture, held against your will, mind games… rape, etc.”
“It wasn’t a walk in the park, if that’s what you’re saying, yes.” The answer came out a bit cold and quick. “I’m sure that if I was to have spoken with you that first time instead of being impressed into service, some things may have been avoided. Just a personal opinion, of course.”
“I think what Toby is trying to say, Princess,” Twilight cut in, stepped forward to my side, “is that Lord Swift may have become a liability and that his personal feelings could be clouding his judgment. When I spoke to him recently, he felt that he held such hate, such malice; he sent Toby on this mission knowing what might happen simply because of what happened between Swift and I.”
“I remember that incident at the Gala, Twilight.” The Princess replied with slightly shameful tone. “I thought with you being gone on your expedition to Earth that his clouded mind would have time to clear, but it appears I stand corrected.”
“I assume that he’s been relieved of his post?” I stared Celestia dead in the eyes. “That kind of individual in a position of power… I don’t predict things ending well.”
“Of course,” the sun goddess promptly replied. “Lord Swift will no longer hold the title of Lord nor Captain of the Guard. Though, it will tough to find a replacement for the position.” Her gaze slowly drifting to me.
“No,” shaking my head. “I know what you are thinking, and I don’t approve, nor will I accept the offer.”
“Ah, I understand your position and drop the matter.” The Princess turned to Twilight. “Though, I believe one up-and-coming commander is up for the commitment. Should you give the news to Shining Armor, Twilight or should I?”
My gaze shifted from the Princess to the purple unicorn next to me. “I take it he’s a friend?”
“More than friend!” She took me in a tight embrace and I could hear her voice falter. “He’s my brother.”
“Woah woah woah,” i said, releasing myself from her embrace. “You have a brother? When were you planning on telling me?”
“Eventually,” she spoke with a teary smile. “I mean, you still haven’t met my parents yet either.”
“Ah, good point.” Turning my attention back to the Princess. “Well ma’am, anything else about Earth you wish to discuss today? I’m sure I could write a book about my life over there.” Tapping a hoof on my chin, I contemplated for a moment before saying, “Though I’m sure it would never be published and instead locked away for all eternity.”
The Princess laughed, “And you would be right. Luna and I would love to read such a piece of work, if ever you get around to it.”
A smile and nod, “I’ll make sure I have it done. Kinda hard to argue with a princess on that matter. You’ll have a book to read soon.”
The Princess returned the smile, “Thank you Toby, or Philosopher, I should say. You’ll need to get used to that name, because that’s your name now.”
“I’ll do my best to remember that, ma’am.” I slowly turned towards the door; the unicorn and the dragon following close behind me.
“OH,” The princess stated as we filed out the door. “I look forward to more of these reports. In the meantime, try not to get into too much trouble, will you Philosopher?”
My smile turned a bit sly, “I make too many promises, Princess, but I will try my best.”
The door to the throne room closed behind as we exited it. Not a word was spoken between us, though the smile on my face had yet to leave. It was a beautiful day out to celebrate.
“That went strangely better than expected.” Spike broke the silence first, his voice dripping with surprise.
“Your powers of observation serve you well, Spike.” I smiled at him. “Come on, hop aboard. No more walking for you today.” The dragon said nothing, but his excited look said it all for him as he climbed onto my back.
“Yes, I must admit,” Twilight began, “that went far better than I had perceived the meeting as going.” Her face shone with surprise. “I will say that you handled yourself quite well.”
“Hey, even I surprise myself sometimes. NOW! About that family I need to become friendly with... I was thinking a nice quiet dinner in a non-threatening situation. Where I would not be subject to interrogation by your new, Captain of the Guard brother.”
“Now, you know I can’t make any promises on that.”
“One can hope, right?”
* * *
It was late by the time we finally arrived back in Ponyville. Most shops were closed by the time we were walking through the streets. Spike’s soft snores were emanating from his tired body lying on my back. Twilight was cuddling up close on account of the cool evening. Princess Luna once again painted the night sky above beautifully. One of the things I wished I had time to do while in Canterlot was thank her. Maybe next time, I thought to myself with a smile. We remained in silence, enjoying the scene and each other’s company. The smile on my face was reflected on hers. Just another moment in my life to put on the list of Things I Want to Last Forever.
But that was not to be the case tonight, for we finally arrived at the library. Twilight opened the door to the dark foyer and we walked it. The dragon barely stirred as I walked up the stairs and gently placed him on his bed. I observing the little dragon’s chest move slowly with each breath, feeling proud for some reason. I return to Twilight in the foyer starting the fire with a smile on my face.
“What’s got you all happy?” she questioned. “I haven’t seen a spring in your step for some time now? Please tell me you didn’t find my cider stash.”
“Well, now that you mention it, I have found it.” Her look of dismay only caused me to laugh. “But tonight it’s not that. No, not at all. Tonight’s joy is sponsored by the letter “L”, as love of life, love of a lovely lady, or love long lost, living long.”
“I don’t think that last alliteration even made sense,” she said as I sat down next to her.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I cried, feigning insult. “Don’t judge, it’s the thought that counts. Besides, I doubt you could do any better!”
“We still are using the letter “L”, right?”
“Naturally. I wouldn’t want to give you any sort of advantage.”
“Long lost lovers, living life’s ludicrous levels, longing lustfully for lavish and lax living.”
There’s a moment’s pause as my mind registers all that was said. “I keep forgetting you took a creative writing course. I’ll let you have that win for now.”
The mare’s response was cut short by a loud knock at the door. Giving her a questioning look, she shrugs, saying, “I don’t know, people usually don’t come by this late at night.”
“Fair enough. I’ll get it.” Standing up and walking over to the door, I say, “The audacity of some people, coming here this late at night. This better be good.” I open the door a bit quickly, glaring at the guest standing in the light of the doorway. “Hey, how’s it going, can I…. oh shi-.” My sentence was interrupted by a hoof to the face, sending me to the floor. “Ugh, welcome to this once quiet home, Swift.” I groaned, trying to pick myself off the floor. “May I offer you some tea, maybe some orange juice,” I managed to laugh, which was answered with another kick to my jaw, sending me back to floor.
By this time Twilight had walked up, stunned at the sight playing out in front of her. “Toby, what is... SWIFT?!? What are you doing!?”
I held up a hoof, stopping her in tracks. “Hold on, Twi. This pony is obviously mad. Let him talk. I kinda want to hear what he has to say.” My words were a garbled mess due to both blood and laughter.
The pegasus picked me up with both hooves and shook me. “You think this funny, you half-wit filly? I will put you into the ground!”
I simply looking him in the eyes and laughed. “You put me in a sex-crazed unicorn’s cabin for two days. Please tell me how you’re going to be worse than that.” Again, I was only answered with a hoof to face, sending me once again to the floor laughing.
“Swift!” a confused Twilight shouted. “What is the meaning of all this? You can’t come barging into my home like this! You certainly can’t just slap around those you see fit.”
“Ah, but I can.” He picked me up once again and slammed me to the ground. “And I will. The two of you ruined me, and he’s going to pay the price. Simple as that.”
That only brought yet another chuckle from my lips as I once again tried to stand up. “And you think kicking the snot out of me is going to do that? Oh I have been through much worse. Try me.”
A punch accented my sentence that sent made me stumble a bit, but I remained standing. “QUIT LAUGHING, YOU FOAL! Is this all some kind of joke to you, you insolent peasant?”
“A stallion pissed off because he’s not getting his way?” i asked, casually wiping away the blood flowing from my mouth and nose. “Believe me, this is the funniest thing tonight. Keep it up.”
“Toby,” the worried mare standing off to the side started, “I don’t think you shou-.”
“Oh, SHUT UP, you stupid whore!” Swift spat at her, his face flushed with anger. “I’ve had just about enough of you!”
“Woah there, chief,” I spoke, taking a step in between the two. “You best not start calling her names. Your quarrel is with me. I’m the one who took everything from you, remember? I’m the one should be mad at. Leave her out of this.”
“Very well, then,” Swift mused, pulling out an object and flipping it open. A knife. “Only because you asked so very nicely.”
Taking a few steps back, holding a defensive posture: “Swift, has it really come down to this? You really don’t want to do this.” I didn’t receive an answer; the look in his eyes told me he was too far gone. “Swift, come on, talk me.” We slowly started to circle. “We don’t have to do this.”
“It’s far too late for that, now,” was the only thing he said before he lunged at me. I wasn’t ready for the pegasus’ his speed and sidestepped too late, causing a deep gash in my shoulder. A backslash sent me off balance and on the defensive. Trying to make a gap, I jumped back, but he simply used his wings to get above and closer, bringing down the blade with the help of gravity and wingpower. I tried sidestepping again, but was caught unaware of the following upward cut, causing me to cry out in pain as blood seeped from the new wound along my midsection. There was no time to recover before he was right on top of me again: a slash here, an uppercut there, and a quick jab to tie it up. It was hard to keep up, but I was lucky enough to land a few punches here and there, but that only intensified his ferocity and gave me no real leverage. Pretty soon I was covered in one too many cuts. The look is his bloodshot eyes told me this was going to go to the very end.
Again, we started to circle. “Last chance, Swift. Last chance to walk away, and I suggest you do. I have no intentions of taking this any further.”
The pegasus laughed like mad. “Words of a dying pony, to beg for mercy!” He spat in my direction. “How weak; how pathetic. Sadly, I will not take you up on your offer.”
I could only sigh at the inevitable. Then I performed the unthinkable when fighting anyone with a knife; I close the distance and tackle him to the ground. The feat took us him by surprise, sending the knife flying away. We grappled each other to get on top. Wild punches were thrown as the struggle between the both us became more desperate. A quick punch by the pegasus knocked me off and laid me on the ground for a few moments. He scrambled off to retrieve his knife.
He looked at my momentarily disoriented body on the ground as he spun the knife in his hoof. “It was a valiant effort, but I do believe I’ve had enough of you and your wench of a mar- AH.” His sentence was punctuated by a magically sped up book sent through the air into his head. Glaring in the direction that sent the books, he found Twilight with a determined look on her face.
“Swift,” Twilight stood there, books floating around her. “I’m going to ask you to leave forever as kindly as I can manage. Please get the buck out of my house.”
“You really think a few books are going to scare me?” The maniac laughed. “You haven’t learned a thing.”
“Neither have you.” I spoke, slowly standing back up. Tackling him again before he had a chance to react, I wrapping my hooves around his neck from behind. We were once again on the ground, but this time I had the advantage. I was on my back; he was sprawled out on top of me, flailing to get free. The knife was free again, but thankfully just out of reach. Though Swift struggled to wiggle within reach, I only strengthen my resolve and my grip around his neck. Soon, the struggling began to slow, then stopped altogether. I lay there for few moments, and then rolled him off of me.
A concerned Twilight slowly approached, a few books still floating around her, “I-is he…um... dead?”
“No,” I answered, breathing heavily. “That wasn’t necessary, though he probably deserved it, he’s simply lost consciousness due to either lack of oxygen or blood to the head. I’m not sure which.” Letting my head hit the ground, I sighed. “And I was having such a great night, too.”
“So,” the unicorn asked, lowering her cluster of projectiles, “what do we do with him now? We certainly can’t leave him here.”
“No, that’s not an option. Help me find some rope and a spell to keep him under for a while, we need to make sure he’s not going anywhere.”
“Ok, so what are going to do t-,” She stopped and looked up to the top of the stairs, watching one sleepy dragon slowly come down the stairs, rubbing his eyes.
“Can’t a dragon get any sleep around her- OH!” He stopped and observed the scene in the foyer. “Why doesn’t anyone tell me when cool things are happening?”
“Ah, Spike,” I mused, slowly beginning to stand back up. “Just the dragon I wanted to see. Could you write a letter to the Princess for me?”
“So we’re turning him over to the Princess?” Twilight asked, finishing tying the pegasus up.
“Oh, no!” I laughed. “That would be too easy. Consider what I am about to do as poetic justice. Anyways, Spike, are you ready?” Receiving a nod in confirmation I began. “Alright. Dear Princess Celestia…”
* * *
The pegasus woke with a start. He was surrounded by trees all around. Judging from the dark, cool air and the near-dark setting, he concluded that he was in Everfree Forest. This sent a shock of alarm throughout his body. He attempted to get up, but he soon quickly fell back onto the ground. Taking a quick status check, Swift realized he was hogtied and not going anywhere. He struggled vainly against his restraints but with no success. He tried to flap his wings to at least get moving, but his wings were tied to his body. He eventually stopped his ill-fated struggle and took a deep breath, determined to figure things out. His thoughts were cut short due to a rustling of grass from behind him, however. Glancing upwards, he was faced with a smiling shadow looming over him. His face turned to dread as the unicorn’s smile above him grew ever wider.
“I demand my release!” Swift yelled at his captor. “I will not be made a mockery of by being held a prisoner by you.”
“Ah, Swift,” the pony began, “why are you so nervous and rude? Trixie thought you would be more happy to see me.”
“I will be far happy if you would kindly untie me.” He once again pulled at the ropes restraining him. “We had a deal and I kept my end of the bargain. There is no reason for this.”
“But Trixie thinks otherwise.” The unicorn hopped on the ground next to Swift. “You promised Trixie a stallion for her uses. The last one Trixie acquired didn’t play very nicely. Seeing as you are here, Trixie has some other ideas.”
“Trixie,” the pegasus pleaded. “I can get you any stallion you want, just please let me go and I can solve your problem.”
“I don’t think you understand Trixie,” The mare rolled onto his chest and began to play with his black mane. “Trixie has a stallion now. Trixie has you.”
Swift began to protest but a soft hoof was placed on his mouth to silence his resistance. The mare leaned over and whispered into his ear, “You’re going to be Trixie’s best friend now.”
A.N.: A quick Memorial Day special that I thought of the top of my head, so it’s not edited, sorry. Not really apart of the “final” chapters I was going for, but something that, I thought needed to be written. Though you won’t be missing out if you don’t read this. _____________________________________________________________________________
I continued to pace, talking as I did. Spike writing down each word as quickly as I could say them. It was about maybe a week and few days into trying to write this book for the Princesses. Spike and I have become more or less writing partners in effort to get the memories of past life onto the pages. Though my life wasn’t the most exciting piece of work, but we were barely out of high school memories by the five-day mark and we were already working on another fairly large stack of paper. Pausing to let the dragon’s hand rest for a moment before continuing. Spewing out anything and everything that came to mind was quite therapeutic. All the repressed memories I could think of: first love, that bad math class, spilling yogurt all over my shorts during lunch. Anything that I thought that was remotely beneficial to learning about human behavior I mentioned and elaborated on for pages on end. Looking back at history, my history, my first life, with all the knowledge experience I had now. I had a fit of laughter of thinking of twenty new ways to cheat on that math exam I had failed without being caught.
By this time in the writing, we finally arrived at my first day of basic training. I had to keep myself from laughing when I remembered the drill sergeants basically spitting as they yelled their lungs out. Yet, I could almost cringe at the thought of being PT’d into the ground. Shaved head and a new identity, I realized how almost easy it seemed now. I remembered the joy I had when I first dissembled and reassembled my rifle about a minute. Only to have the drill sergeant laugh and then yell at me for forgetting the firing pin. I couldn’t win them, apparently. Sure, shooting at the range, throwing a few frags, and kicking in a few days every now and then did relieve a lot the tension between the Drills and us as E1s. Though everything the Sergeants did teach eventually saved my life at least once or twice. I recall a proper door breach scaring the insurgent on the other side. Startled as he was, he was unable to pick up his weapon in time and we were able to capture him. In the middle of a firefight, for some reason I heard my drill sergeant’s voice to stop and change mags before I jammed my weapon. Changed mags and after the fight looked at the first mag and found a nice bullet hole in it. The remaining shrapnel in the mag would have done wonders to the internals of the weapons.
I kept talking on and on about the small things I could remember. Laughing over a cold coke at one friend’s shenanigans, while offering support at another’s “Dear John” letter. Carrying a friend over your shoulder as we walked back to base after a short weekend leave. It was those family-like memories that made me smile, but at the same time made me miss it.
Seeing the dragon yawn, I realized in my efforts to talk about anything and everything had taken its toll on him. “Spike, I think we can call it for tonight. Thanks for listening and writing. I’ll get Twi to help me move these papers to the other room in a second.”
“I’m not tired, honest,” the dragon protested, but another yawn a second later was his undoing.
“Don’t lie to me,” I smiled as I walked towards to the where he was behind the desk. “Besides, the last paragraph looks bit like chicken scratch, we’ll have to go over it again in the morning.”
“I still got a few minutes left in me,” again the dragon objected. “You were just getting to the good part anyways.”
“You’d be asleep on the paper before I even metaphorically fired a shot in the sandbox. Come on,” pulling him away from the desk and putting him onto my back. “It’s late, you need your sleep anyways.” The dragon made a muffled complaint, but finally consented. Trotting up the stairs and to his bed, he barely even touched the pillow before he was out. I chuckled lightly at being right yet again and almost abusing the dragon as much as Twilight did. Though she was stuck editing the large stack of papers my pacing rants made. Heading back down the stairs, I walked to the side room where Twilight was editing.
Knocking twice then entering, I saw the unicorn at work. Ink splotches covered parts of her face, her mane was up in a bun, and her glasses on, I couldn’t help but think in the back of my mind that for some reason she looked amazingly attractive for some reason.
“Just when you think you know someone,” she commented without looking up from her work. “You get to know them from their memories written on a piece of paper. By the way,” looking up and into my eyes with a slyest of smiles, “About that yogurt incident.”
“You will not believe how embarrassed I was from that incident,” walking to the room and to her side. “I don’t think I showed my face at school for over a week, feigning sickness. I also begged my mom to see if I could attend a different school.” I observed her handy work on this sheet of paper, seeing what was edited. “Though I think I haven’t quite recovered from it.”
The mare laughed, “And you come in here to disturb me to tell me you are still disturbed?”
“Well, not really. Just came in to say hi and see how you’re doing. Also just to say that my pen is now fast asleep.”
“Oh,” Twi’s eyes shifted to the clock hanging, “it is late for him anyways. Where did you get to today?”
“Started on the memories of my first days in the military, basic training and then infantry school. You know, the beginning of the end for me.”
“Toby, don’t be morbid about it,” her gaze shifted back down the page in front of her and continued to edit, “You had your reasons for doing what you, and now you’re here now.”
“Well, I guess you’re right,” I started to walk around to other side, “though, I think I haven’t quite explained my reasons for joining.” A light bulb appeared in my head, and a smile complement the thought. “Would you like to hear an author’s exclusive on this?”
Hearing the quill be set down gently, her expression grew blissful. “Well, of course I would like to hear an actual word or two from the author himself.”
“By our nation’s capital, sits multiple memorials dedicated to men and women who have answered our nation’s call for service. Some in times of global crisis, others times I cannot justify the reasons, but where our nation called for her servicemen and women to go, we went. Now, these memorials are set up to commemorate those who paid a debt that we as people still alive cannot yet even begin to pay back. They are the ones that never came back.” I paused in my pace, gathering my thoughts. “Now, getting around to my point, in my final years of high school, I went to the Memorial Day parade at the capital. Now Memorial Day is a holiday on the fourth Monday in May dedicated specifically to those who made the sacrifice. Though in all actuality, we should be remembering them and their efforts nearly everyday, but not point. I remember talking with a veteran, asked him why he served.” By this time, Twi had left her position from behind the desk and moved slowly to my side. I had not felt the tears beginning to form, but she apparently did. “He looked me straight in the eyes, jabbed a finger into my chest, spoke with the fullest of heart I have ever seen, and he said “Son, serving your country is the greatest honor you be bestowed upon. Sure, the pay ain’t great, the hotel service is lousy, and work environment is downright atrocious, but it makes up for that in the memories you make and the men you serve with. Never in the entire world can men be thrown in worst of situations and still manage to crack a smile.”
I could feel the tears flowing as I look at Twi standing in front of me, her eyes began to well up with tears as well. “I remembering him pointing to the flag, the ole red, white, blue. “You owe a debt that has been paid in blood,” then he pointed to one of the memorials off in the distance, “And you owe it to those who came before you, those who stood when you could not. It’s because of them that you are standing now.” I remember shaking his hand and going to a recruiter within the week, from there, it’s basically all that you know. But I realized something in my time here, my time with you that I am standing because someone had to. Because of one man was able to drag my ass into a helicopter.” The tears were already flowing down now as I sat down, but I met in the mare’s powerful embrace as she wrapped her hooves around me. A small comfort that I took for granted every day.
The sound of soft rustling leaves in the light breeze slowly woke me up, not to say that the gentle prodding of a hoof into my side didn’t help in the process as well. Opening my eyes, I found Twilight attached to my side. Her smile only helped brighten up the morning and was contagious, as one grew upon my face. The past few weeks have been nice, waking up in peace; nothing wanting to kill, torture, or maim myself or anyone I know. Strange, knowing that after being so close to death in the recent months, that I was now the farthest thing from it.
“You really should be getting up now.” her smooth honey voice whispered. “We really have a big week ahead of us and you,” poking my chest to accent her words, “have an appointment with Rarity today.”
“Because obviously a simple bow tie just won’t cut it,” rolling my eyes playfully. “I thought just a black bow tie and top hat would be perfect.”
“You know that will simply will not do for the Grand Galloping Gala,” she rolled off of me and stepped off of the bed. “Also, besides your appointment with Rarity, I need you to run to the market and pick up a few things for dinner tonight.”
“Dinner tonight?” Slowly, my memory was beginning to return, “The Dinner, the one with your parents, right?”
“Yes, that would be tonight!” She smiled again, “My brother even said he might even stop by for a little bit. You didn’t forget did you?”
“Oh no! No, of course not!” I began, but she began to stare me down, “Well, maybe. Only a little bit though.
“Toby, you did promise.”
“Yes, but I didn’t take into account my poor memory and one of Pinkie’s parties. Not my fault!”
She sighed, “ I suppose so, so come on,” she gently tried to rouse me from the bed, “get up, you’ve got a few things to do today and you can’t stay in bed.”
“But it’s Monday, anypony knows Monday is the best day for sleeping,” I rolled over, wrapping the blankets tightly around me. Though no sooner that I had done that, I found myself tossed to the floor, looking up at the giggling unicorn.
“You really enjoy doing that, don’t you?”
Patting my head gently, “Every day,” she said with a smile. Planting a quick peck on my forehead before she continued, “Now on your hooves, Spike’s been waiting on you long enough.”
* * *
Trotting down the main street of Ponyville with a love-struck dragon on my back wasn’t really on the list of the things I had planned for today, but what Twi said; went. Call me whipped, but it keeps the mare happy. And besides, without her late nights editing, (I don’t understand why she stays up late to edit, The Princesses said we could take our time) my first volume of the book the princesses requested would not be finished.
I say first volume only because slowly repressed memories from forever ago seem to reappear everyday. Somehow, I could be staring a leaf and out of nowhere a memory of a childhood friend and I taking a leak in some backwoods stream would appear. From there it would spawn off a web of adventures, which is why I was glad to have Spike near me to write down the next five to ten minutes of ranting I would spill. Of course, in turn, I would spend most of the time we were together listening to him go on about one thing or another. Though, I really didn’t mind it, I more or less saw it as a bonding experience. My life stories for his, simple really.
“…And after all that destruction I caused,” the Dragon animatedly explained from my back. “I found myself falling from the sky!”
“Yeah, been there a few times myself,” I said, pausing for moment to gather my thoughts. “Except the concept was to jump then cause the destruction, but I never had a combat jump nor did I free-fall till I was inches to the ground.”
“That’s not the point! Going from the biggest, baddest thing ever to straight free-fall.” He said, his sentenced accented with an embarrassed laugh. “Though Rarity was with me all the way down and…”
“Funny how being near death, we seem more alive,” I give him a small smile, “Trust me, been there. And I’m not trying to sound like a broken record of ‘been there, done that,’ I’m just trying to relate to you in some way. And I really don’t have much experience here to give you related stories from here.”
“You’re doing fine, these are actually quite interesting stories. But...” He paused, giving me a light spur with his feet. “...could you hurry it up please? I… Uh, we’re going to be late to see Rarity.”
I shot the dragon a brief look, then said “You do know we are nearly thirty minutes early and it’s only right down the street. I doubt it’s going to take us thirty minutes to walk less than 100 yards.”
“I know,” Spike awkwardly chuckled. “But, it’s Rarity. Even being thirty minutes early is being thirty minutes too late!”
“I think you’re over dramatizing the situation here just a tad, Spike. She wouldn’t kill us for being even thirty minutes late.”
“And would I be overdramatizing a situation if I said Twilight would if she didn’t if we forgot to do the things on her list?”
“Spike, you and I both know we wouldn’t even come within twenty feet of the Library without feeling the lecture that was brewing. Besides you don’t share the same bed as Twi, I do. So I don’t really fear Rarity as much I as I do Twilight.”
The dragon shrugged, “I dunno, she can get pretty scary when she wants to be. You shouldn’t underestimate her.”
“Whatever you say, Spike.” I shook my head. We continued the walk to Rarity’s in silence. Though, it was less than a few yards anyway. Spike hopped off my back and took place next to me as we approached the door. Raising my hoof in preparation to knock, I turned my head to the dragon next to me, “Any final thoughts?” He shook his head, so I knocked.
We didn’t have to wait long before the white unicorn opened the door. Rarity’s mane was pinned back, with a measuring tape hung around her neck. She looked a bit overworked, but to Spike, she was beautiful as ever. How do I know that? I caught him drooling.
“Oh lovely, you’re both here!” Rarity’s face lit up with excitement. “I simply cannot wait to get started. Especially with you, Philosopher. I have yet to make any garments for you, so this will be quite fun!” She turned to enter her boutique, implying for us to follow. “Now, do you have some sort of idea of what you would like to wear?”
“Personally?” I started, trying to remember something. “I like a nice tux; black, classy, and with a bow tie. Also, since you’re making Twi’s dress, something that matches. That would be perfect.”
“Oh, stallions.” She sighed in despair. “Having such little idea for fashion, but I am at least happy that you’re on the right track.”
She gestured to a small stage surrounded by mirrors, then said “Hop up, please. I need to do some quick measurements.”
Upon getting onto the small stage, Rarity began her work while softly humming to herself. She slowly took measurements with her measuring tape, pausing intermittently to write them down.
The unicorn stepped back for a moment, trying to gather a picture in her mind with me as the canvas, prodding her chin lightly with her hoof. “Spi-“ she began.
“Yes, Ms. Rarity?” the dragon appeared at her side with such speed that astounded me, and might put Rainbow Dash to shame.
“Spike, would you be a dear and go into the market?” She smiled lightly, handing the dragon a small list. “There are some things I need before I work on Philospher’s and your suit.”
“It would be my honor, Ms. Rarity,” Spike saluted then sped off out the door with another burst of massive speed.
I stood there stunned for a few moments. Usually I had never seen him move that fast unless he accidentally caught Twilight and I being our usually corny-couple-selves.
Thankfully, Rarity was the first to break the silence as she went back to work, “Now that he’s gone, the adult ponies can talk, but first work.”
She brought a formal jacket over, implying that I try it on. After putting it on, she began to make adjustments, marking alternations that needed to be made.
“So,” she began coolly, “how are you and Twilight?”
Half sighing, half chuckling, I said, “You know, if I knew this was going to be an interrogation, I could’ve waited till Shining Armor was over later, because I know that’ll be a bucket of fun.”
“It could be worse, you could be in the Canterlot dungeons, tied to chair, and having a nice one on one chat with Shining.” She paused for a moment, “That was supposed to be a joke,” she laughed nervously.
I returned the nervous laughter with some of my own, “And you think I haven’t worried about that? I’ve done my fair share; I’ve had my life on the line more than a few times, yet why am I nervous about facing her family?”
“Fear of rejection, or of failure?” The unicorn spoke quite quaintly. “Everyone has those feelings. Maybe because it’s a challenge you have yet to face? I’m only spouting out ideas.”
I shrugged lightly, “You may be onto something, that’s for sure.” I gave her a glance, “What about you and your love life? I mean if you wanted to talk about that, I can see why you wanted Spike to leave.”
I could see the weight gather on her shoulders as she sighed. “May I ask you a question about you and Twilight? Nothing that isn’t too personal.”
“Well, shoot.”
“How did you two meet? I’ve heard the story from Twilight more than enough times, I would like to hear your perspective.”
“I don’t know how much you know, but seeing as you were there when we arrived... Well, you know that I came from Earth, and I was not pony to begin with.” She nodded so I continued. “I was in a bit of rut, not sure what to do with myself. I was drinking myself into depression. One day, I decided to make a trip to the library; trying to gain hold of something of sanity, then she and I reached for the same book, and I knew something was up. Personally, because I never meet cute girls with such luck and poorly executed grace. However, she helped me back onto the track of sanity.” I shrugged trying to remember more, “From there, most of it is history. Though, I’m curious why you’d ask that.”
“I was simply just curious, that’s all.” She continued in her work a bit slower than normal. “Though, I have another question.”
“Then I probably have another answer, go ahead.”
“What is your opinion of Russia?”
“Rus-what?” raising an eyebrow at such an out of nowhere question. “How do you know about that place?”
“Just answer the question, dear. Please, just behoove me just this once with an answer.”
“I uh… cold? Vodka? Communism? I really don’t have a well formulated response to that. We stopped fighting Ivan back in the 90s, so they stopped teaching us about him.”
“Okay, you’d be mostly right. And your answer means you probably do not know much about Siberia then.”
“Rarity, you’re losing me. None of those places I have mentioned, ever. Nor has Twi. What are you getting at?”
The unicorn sighed again, “You stallions, so naïve with the answer staring them right in the face.”
“Are you implyin-.”
“Yes, I am implying just that. There was a… mishap when we were teleporting Twilight to your world. The magic required to even begin the process of sending her needed so much concentration, even more to change her form and provide some materials which were even more demanding. I… slipped and faltered…and went into the void after her.” The fashionista’s voice stammered. “I guess I was lucky enough that I found… he found me.” Her work stopped, as I turned to face her.
“Rarity, what happened?” Placing a hoof on her shoulder, her head sinking lower. “Tell me please, I only want to help. Who did you leave behind?”
“I remember it being cold, and white.” She smiled lightly, returning back to her work “Very cold and white. I should count myself lucky that I had a nice thick coat, ”
I don’t quite remember when Spike arrived during Rarity’s story, probably sometime in between on the run while leaving Siberia and arriving in Alaska. She worked diligently through her story, making short work of my suit then Spike’s, though the little guy seemed a bit at unease when she talked about her savior. I could understand his displeasure; Rarity voice also shared some pain in revealing her savior to the purple-lover-dragon. Though, I’m not sure what the pain in the story was: that she was telling it to Spike, or because she still had feelings to this savior. My suspicion was that it was more toward the latter than the former.
With a bit of relief she finished her story over a cup of tea, leaving me a bit stunned at what this mare had accomplished in her journey. Didn’t know the unicorn had it in her, though I’m probably right to say that the story would have been told in a much different way if her savior were telling it. I’m sure the word whining would have been tossed around more than once.
We bid Rarity goodbye, at least until Spike and I had to pick up our suits. I gave Spike a subtle nod and I stepped outside to let the dragon have a minute or two alone with the unicorn. It wasn’t much, because as much as I deeply hated to say it, this deep (albeit one sided) relationship wasn’t going anywhere. Though, I could spare them a few moments and see what happens.
Ten or so minutes later, one glum looking dragon walked out of the boutique. He sighed and stopped next me. “Mares,” the dragon muttered under his breath.
I nudged him playfully, “Come on, Spike. Two things: it ain’t the end of the world, and I’ve got a special job for you.”
Spike’s expression lightened up a bit, “What kind of job? It better not be a job where you send me off to find something like elbow grease, which by the way doesn’t exist, so you can have a few minutes with Twilight.”
I laughed a bit, “Oh no, it’s nothing like that, trust me. Besides I haven’t sent you to get headlight fluid. So, with that, let’s just say that in these next few days, things are going to be a bit hectic and I’m going to need your help. Simple as that. You with me on this?”
He contemplated this offer for a second, “What’s going on and what’s in it for me?”
Smiling, with a half laugh, “Spike, I’m giving you the chance to have the best seat in the house to one amazing show.”
“What show are we talking about?"
“We’ll figure it out when we get there, but first we need to get the things Twi asked us to get, then I have to survive dinner.”
* * *
Before I knew it, the whole Sparkle family was sitting around the table, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Twilight Velvet (Twilight’s mother) was laughing at an offhand comment that Night Light (Twi’s Father) had made. The new captain of the guard, Shining Armor was smiling at his parent’s antics, coolly sipping his drink. Twilight was giggling in the spot next to me. It was a picture perfect Norman Rockwell family moment, at least a pony version of it.
Then there was me. I was doing everything in my power to not outwardly show how nervous I was. Here again was the smooth under pressure operator nearly having a nervous breakdown of the fear of not being accepted by her family. Which one part of my brain was confused by; I had made this far, why worry? I hadn’t had said much through most of the dinner, except the standard greetings and responses. I had tried to stay in the kitchen, helping Spike cook while Twi caught up with her parents and brother. Eventually I had to face my fears, which brought me to the table laughing nervously at the jokes and whatnot. Felt like I was having dinner with the company commander back in my “old” life. Not sure what to say for fear of those words being used against you or offending them by accident. I knew that eventually there were going to be questions, and I didn’t have to wait long.
“So, Mr. Philosopher, my daughter speaks quite highly of you,” Night Light spoke, his wife nodding her head in agreement. “Tell us a bit about yourself, because I feel like we’ve been leaving you out.”
“Well,” I chuckled nervously. “Recently, I was discharged from the Royal Guards,” this spiked Shining’s curiosity, drawing him away from his drink. “Some complications and whatnot. Apparently I didn’t make a good statue,” that brought a small round of laughter. “But now, I write for both princesses, and I guess I make a better writer than a guard.”
“You write?” Twilight Velvet seemed interested. “What do you write about, because I would love to read what you have.”
I scratched the back of my head, “Afraid not. Something that Princess Celestia wants to keep under wraps for the time being. Don’t know why, but that’s not my call. If need be I can write something for you, albeit I’m not sure how good it would be.”
“Oh, I’d hate to ask that of you,” Velvet waved off my offer, “I will just have be content and wait.
“The offer still stands if you want it.”
“And how about where you came from before deciding to settle here in ponyville?” Night Light asked again, clearly curious.
“In, uh… Manehattan.”
“Really?” Mr. Sparkle smiled, “Do you happen to know the Oranges? They’re relatives of the Apple family.”
“Um, I can’t really say that I do,” I returned a nervous smile. “Manehattan is a big city. I Must’ve missed them.”
“Well that’s just too bad,” Mrs. Sparkle spoke up, “They’re wonderful ponies. Just as kind and caring as their Apple relatives.”
Somehow I could feel a cold stare coming from Shining, but he didn’t show it. The newly appointed captain kept a neutral mask on as he listened and sipped at his drink. I could almost see the gears turning his head for his next question out of the corner of my eye.
“Alright, I’m just dying to know how you two met, and I’m sure my parents are just as curious” Shining chuckled from behind his cup. “I know how hard it can be for my sister to get out and meet anypony some days. So how did you break her bookworm shell?”
“Well… I,” somehow both Twilight and I answered at the same time and proceeded to blush as well.
“Twily, please tell me you didn’t put a spell on the poor Stallion.” The captain chuckled. “I need not remind you how well that turned out the first time you tried that.” The purple unicorn blushed.
Ignoring the comment I continued, “It’s a bit of long story,” going through the thoughts in my head, trying to spill too many beans in the process of telling them that Twilight was on Earth. Then, I realized the story I could tell that was true, but a half-truth. “I was told by Princess Celestia to help Twilight out on an assignment. You know, one of these friendship assignments had her going into not the safest places. I was simply just a guide and overwatch of her safety. At first it was strictly just business…”
* * *
The night had finally worn down, my storytelling had kept the Sparkle family entertained and I had managed to survive with my head still attached to my neck. Somehow I lived through the experience, somehow I did it. Yet, it will probably not be the last time this would happen. In celebration, I found myself alone on the balcony for a quick breather while Twilight and her mother cleaned up a bit.
As much as I wanted to help, I just felt the need to avoid more questions. Especially those that I could answer with half-truths, it was tiresome to lie to such good ponies. I wanted to say the truth, but I didn’t know if they would believe me. They might’ve just thought I was crazy and send me off to some loony farm. Looking up at the night sky, I could almost hear the moon asking its own questions.
“Thought I’d find you here,” a cool voice came from behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know that Shining had silently infiltrated my small sanctuary. “Twilight said you were here.”
He stopped next to me, looking up at the night like I was, “Peaceful, ain’t it?” He paused, waiting for a response, but I couldn’t answer him. “Look, I’ve read your file.” Again, another pause, “I have never seen a guard’s file so small and covered in so much black ink.”
“That somehow doesn’t surprise me,” expressing a bit of amusement. “The princess didn’t want too much information getting out. I’m surprised there was even a file.”
“What’s your story then? Lunar Special Forces? Celestial Swords? They’re about the blackest groups we may or may not have. But I don’t think that.”
“Phoenix Team, actually, sir.” I chuckled. “You know with the two other guards that are happy to have their jobs and sit around a bit. I’ve served with better, but not many, sir.”
He chuckled lightly, “Oh those two: Painter and Player. Good colts, though a bit on the more rambunctious side. Though I don’t see how being on Phoenix team would grant you black ink. They barely do any tier three works.” He paused, taking a breath of the cold night air. “And there’s no need to refer me as sir, you nor I are in uniform and, even more so, you aren’t a guard anymore. Think of this as more of a friendly conversation.”
“With all do respect, sir, there’s a line of thought saying you respect the rank, not always the one with the rank. Sometimes it’s a bit of both.” I shrugged, “Also a bit of force of habit.”
He smirked, “I’ll try to remember that. Though you haven’t even answered my first question. Why is your file so black?”
“I respect you, sir, but I’m afraid the best honest answer you’ll get that is I’m not exactly from around here.”
“What? Are talking about far out where the griffons are? Maybe past where the Dragons migrate to?”
“Sir, it’s quite the walk.” I sighed at his persistence. “And if I told you, I’d might have to kill you.” I looked at him with the best stone cold face I could muster. The look must’ve been believable because there was a slight flinch of fear. “That’s only a joke, sir.” I broke down and laughed which was followed by nervous chuckles of Shining. “Besides,” I thought aloud, “I love Twilight too much to kill off her brother.”
“I guess I’m the lucky one then in that aspect.” He paused, “You’re good to her, to Twilight I mean. If I had to share my LSBFF wi-.”
“Your what?”
“Oh, sorry. My Little Sister Best Friend Forever.” Shining paused again and chuckled to himself. “If I had to share her with anyone in all of Equestria, I’m glad she’s in the right hooves, sir.”
“I’m nowhere even close to being your superior officer, Shining.” I scoffed a bit, “And I’m nowhere close to being a sir. Not by any definition of the word.”
He held his hoof up, “When you respect someone, you make sure they know you do. If you’d like, I’ll see if I can get you an advisor role with the guards. I would sure like you on board. It’s nothing big, just a lot of talking and not a lot of action. Besides, you can’t write forever.”
I took his hoof, shaking it, “Your offer is very gracious. I’ll think about it, sir.” I released his hoof, “Now come on, let’s go help your parents and Twilight clean up.”
* * *
Collapsing into the bed head first, I could hear Twilight’s giggling next to me, “Just be happy they like you,” The unicorn smiled, rubbing my back slowly. “That could’ve gone over ten different ways badly. But you held your own. What’s your secret?”
“I cannot confirm or deny the sources of my ability to resist interrogations,” I mumbled from out of my pillow. “Even if I divulged the name of these sources, they would likely deny my existence. So for the time being we’ll refer to them as Ex #1, #2, and #3. Good enough?”
She laughed, “Yes that will be good enough.” She kissed me lightly on the cheek, “Make sure you get your sleep, alright? We have big things coming up soon and you need to be well rested, no need for you to fall asleep at the Gala.”
“At the Gala?”
“At the Gala.”
“I sure hope you two don’t break into song!” A tired Spike hollered from the next room. “Because I really want to get some sleep.”
Both Twilight and I laughed openly before getting comfortable under the covers. The unicorn slowly put her head on my chest, sighing in happiness. I could only smile, thinking how everything was slowly falling into place. At that thought, I lightly tapped the wood headboard and drifted off into sleep.
I woke up a bit earlier than usual. Maybe it was just the nervousness kicking in. The day of my first big event in Equestria, if you don’t count meeting the Princess and whatnot, I’ll just assume my body thought it would be natural to treat it like Christmas, wrought with anticipation of what was to come. The Grand Galloping Gala, the biggest and greatest party in Equestria, or so I’ve heard. It was something everypony dreamed of going to, and here I was, a new resident of Equestria, going to one without a problem. Maybe the term “Like a little boy on Christmas” was the most accurate way to describe my rapidly beating heart.
I guess I could relate the newfound anticipation to the fact that I was never a big “party” guy. There was prom in high school, but that was more or less a bust due to the fact that the girl I brought ended up leaving me within a month. There were events and balls in Bravo Company when I was back on Earth, Christmas and Thanksgiving get together shindigs. Hell, even in the sandbox, holidays were something special. It was part of what made us remember that deep down inside, we were still human after everything we did. It kept what little sanity we had left from escaping.
It was just a bit after sunrise, but I felt compelled to stay in bed for a bit longer. So, I just stared at the ceiling for a few moments, slowly becoming aware of world around me. I felt Twi’s slow breath against my chest and neck; her warm body caressing mine. I just let the moment play out before I decided to get out of bed to make the most out of the morning. Yawning as I rolled out of bed, I tried not to disturb Twilight too much. Despite my efforts, she still moved slightly, sighing as she rolled over. I managed to stifle a chuckle as I moved downstairs.
Soon, I found myself in the kitchen, where I found Spike. He didn’t look like the happiest of dragons, even from behind. Slumped over slightly as he cleaned the floor, he was mumbling something to himself, something I couldn’t make out.
“Morning Spike,” I announced. “You seem to be up a bit early. Even started on your chores. Who are you trying to impress?”
“I could say the same to you,” he stopped sweeping, turning to face me. “Why are you up?”
I shrugged, closing the distance between us. “Meh, couldn’t sleep I guess. I take it that’s why you’re up too?”
“Yeah,” he said a bit coldly. “I couldn’t sleep either. Just wanted to start on my chores. I need to clear my head.”
I could only assume what the issue at hand was, “Mare problems?”
He sighed, a hint of sadness leaking through his voice. “Yeah, that seems to be the only problem now.” He returned to sweeping, “How do you have it so easy?”
For some reason, I laughed, “You and I both would like to know the answer to that question.” I made my way to fridge, pulling out eggs and hay bacon. “You hungry, Spike?”
“Nah, I already ate a while ago.” he managed a smile. “Besides, I don’t think you’re that good at cooking crystals.”
“Oh ye of little faith.” I mumbled between my teeth, still holding the hay bacon bag. I started setting the bag down, starting the stove, and planting a few pieces of hay bacon on the skillet, while persisting, “You sure I can’t get you anything?”
“Unless you can fix everything between Rarity and I,” Spike sighed. I could just hear the heartbreak in his voice. “then no, I don’t think so.”
“I…” I was at a loss of words, trying to find something that would help the heartbroken dragon, some word buried deep to put him at ease. I could only sigh, as I knew there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. “I’m sorry, Spike.”
“It’s… it’s not your fault,” I thought I heard a sniff of some sorts coming from him “I guess just things weren’t meant to be.”
I walked over and put a reassuring hoof on the dragon’s shoulder. “If it means anything, I have big things planned that you’re going to be a part of.”
He wiped what appeared to be a tear from his eye, “Really? What are these big things?”
“The future holds many things,” I smiled at him, trying to share my happiness. “That’s for sure, but between you and m-.”
“Good Morning,” a yawning unicorn spoke as she walked through the door. Her mane was a bit of a mess and she looked a bit queasy, but she still managed a smile. She stopped and stared at the scene played out in front of her. “Is this one of those “male bonding” moments I’ve read about? I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No, just finishing up, but we’ll talk later, okay Spike?” I patted Spike on back letting him continue on with his chores. Turning to Twilight, I asked, “Sleep alright? Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I slept alright.” she yawned again, followed by giggle. “Maybe I could’ve slept better. I’ll have whatever is that you’re having.”
I smiled, “Coffee it is then,” I moved to start the coffee up. “Cream? Some sugar?”
I felt her forelegs wrap around me from behind, her warm breath against my ear as she whispered, “I think you know how I like it, a bit of sugar, not too much cream.” I laughed, but she continued. “Oh and one more thing,” her honey smooth voice continued to pour into my ears.
“Yes, Twilight? What would that one thing be?” I tried to respond with an equal amount of smoothness in my voice
“Your bacon is burning.”
“Sonnof-“
* * *
I left for Rarity’s by myself, and I could understand Spike’s reluctance to not tag along. The little guy just needed a bit of alone time, and I figured it was probably for the best as well.
So as it was, I was by myself walking to Rarity’s boutique left in my own thoughts. Left in thoughts about what to make of my future. There was one line of thought that told me to take Shining up on his offer, because he did have a valid point. There would be a point where there would be little left for me to do. Then there was another line of thought that said I had already done enough, for any military. Maybe a different line of work was probably the right thing to do. It didn’t help that the two sides kept arguing. There wasn’t any counter-insurgency going on there, but what were the true threats? If you’re good at something do it, but for how long?
I really wasn’t sure for what reasons I would be doing it for. I had no true motivation if I was to join. I didn’t quite have the same drive, no real “Mom, Flag, and Apple Pie” feelings. What else was left for me to do? Why not protect a peaceful land? The pay probably wasn’t that bad and I figured that I needed to support Twilight and also Spike’s growing eating habits. The future is a scary thing and the battle raged even as I knocked on the front door to the boutique.
One ragged looking white unicorn answered the door. The shine from her coat was gone, so she appeared to look light gray. Her mane was in no sort of presentable fashion, at least by Rarity standards.
“Um, hi, Rarity,” I spoke, a bit concerned with the unicorn’s condition, “I just thought I’d stop by and pick up me and Spike’s suits, but no offense, you look like a mess.”
“Oh yes, it always gets this way this time of year. All the last minute appointments and whatnot.” She sighed, pushing her unkempt mane out of her face. “Sorry, come in, come in.”
If I didn’t know better, I would say Discord swept through the place, but it was a controlled chaos. It was worse than the day before, fabrics, strings, needles seemed to be strewn about more than ever.
“Rarity are you alright? I know you’ve been under a bit stress as of late, but do you want to talk about what’s bugging you?”
“What is there to talk about?” She shrugged. “There’s work to be done, and with the Gala tonight, there was very little time to sleep. Besides, sleep wouldn’t come if I tried. Ah, here we are,” She levitated a pair of folded suits and placed them into my pack. “Will that be all then?”
“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t ask what’s bugging you,” I set the pack down, “because I know it’s not just the Gala on your mind.”
“I know Spike did not come for his own reasons, and I could not sleep for my own reasons. Though, I feel those reasons are more or less the same.”
“Another cup of tea then? You need a break anyway.” I offered the warmest smile I could. “And I think I need a lesson or two in some pony culture. Care to teach me a few things?”
“I’m not if even sure I can teach an old pony new tricks,” she smiled. I could see a bit of her shine returning to her. “I believe I can try though.”
“Thank you,” I nodded, “I’m sure there’s something about old fashioned rituals you can remind me of.”
“Da,” she laughed. “I think I might know a thing or two.”
“Good, cause I’m going to need a huge favor from you.”
* * *
Heading back to the library, I was weighed down by a lot of things. The most obvious being the physical weight of the suits and other supplemental items. Second was something a bit harder to spot, but it was how was I going to go about everything. There was quite a bit that needed to be done, and I could only focus on so much; the offer from Shining, my favor from Rarity, trying to help out Spike the best I could, then on top of that trying not to mess up tonight. I’m used to making cool and quick responses to multiple tasks at once, but this was no combat zone. The only combatant on this field was myself and I was doing a terrible job against him.
By the time I made it back to the library, my head was already spinning. I even almost trampled Spike as I walked in.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” I said, picking him off of the ground. He promptly brushed himself off and went back to sweeping.
“Not a problem, it happens a lot.” He seemed a bit distant in his statement.
I frowned, it wasn’t the best looking situation and though I’ve seen combat effective men turned into babbling messes, dealing with a broken hearted child was something else entirely. So after putting my pack with the suits down, I did the best thing I could think of. I picked up the dragon and threw him on my back, saying “Come on, we’re going for a walk.”
“But what about the Gala?” Spike struggled a bit before finally settling down.
“We have plenty of time,” I reasoned. “two hours before we even have to start getting ready. Trust me, more than enough time to change your attitude.”
The dragon let out a small humph, reluctantly complying with my offer. “What are we going to do then?”
“Well first, I’m going to bribe you. And second, you are going to accept my bribe and be happy, at least for today.”
I could almost hear the gears clicking in his head, “What’s your offer?”
“Well,” I said, exiting the Library and heading out into town, “if you must know it’s a treat and a talk.”
“What’s the treat?” Again, I could just hear the thought process playing out in his mind. “Because I don’t think you have a good enough barter.”
Oh, he thinks he’s gonna outsmart me? Was all I could think. “Well I could always turn around and you could never get your treat.”
There was a moment of silence from Spike, “Fine.”
“Good, because there wasn’t anything you could’ve said to get me to change my offer.” I mused, rounding the corner of the street. I turned to Spike on my back and gestured to the building in front of me, Sugarcube Corner. “Care for a quick snack?” The drool seeping from his mouth was his only answer. “That’s what I thought.”
As we walked into Sugarcube Corner, Spike by my side, one of the owners greeted us cheerfully. “Afternoon, Sir, what can I get for you and Spike?” His smile was genuine, which was something I was happy to see.
I returned with a smile of my own, “Well Spike here needs a quick punch of happiness. What’s the best you can do for him?”
“I know just the thing.” His face was lit up with excitement and I could just hear it in his voice. “Honey! Break out the happy jar! We need it stat!” He made his way to the backroom with a spring in his step.
I leaned over to Spike, “And here comes the best part,” I whispered. “I have no idea what happens next”
The sound of a small building’s construction seeped through under the door. The whirring of machinery, a few flashes of light, even the sounds of a banjo being poorly played caused Spike’s curiosity to grow. Soon, the owner popped out from behind the door with a smile on his face, “Are we ready?”
The dragon’s gaping jaw and drooling mouth answered the question easily. Even so, the dragon nodded slowly.
“Well, alrighty then!” He emerged with a huge ice cream sundae, coated with a mountain of whipped cream and topped the biggest cherry I had ever seen. “One big cup of happiness, made ready with love from the Cakes to one Spike.” He shone us another brilliantly wide smile as he placed it on the counter in front of the hungry looking dragon.
I thanked him as I went for my bits, but he stopped me. “It’s on the house, don’t worry about paying for it.”
“Really, sir?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow. “Because I’m more than willing to pay for it.”
“It’s not a problem,” he smiled again, “besides, I don’t see many off duty Royal Guards around here, so it’s on me.”
“Oh.” I said, a bit surprised. “Well um, I’m not exactly with the Guards anymore, so it doesn’t feel right for me to take it.”
“Past or present, you’ve done your part, just my way of saying thank you.”
“You’re very generous sir, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He replied quite happily. “Oh, and good luck tonight. You’re probably going to need it.”
“Believe me, I will. Thank you again, though.” I turned around, thought for second about what had just happened, and then followed Spike to a table. By the time I got to there, Spike was already fully occupied with his sundae and I could only smile when I sat down.
“How’s the bribe working out for you?” I could’ve only assumed by the huge grin as he shoveled another gigantic spoonful of ice cream into his mouth that it was a success. “For this next part you just have to listen.” The dragon’s inhalation of the sundae slowed down as to hear me, and his head poked out from behind the hill of whipped cream, the size of which had grown substantially smaller.
“Look, I know how many times I’ve gone over this, but I know it hurts.” His head began to poke more out of the hill as he started to formulate a statement, but I halted his actions, “Hey, just listen for now. I know it hurts. You’re young, though you have plenty of life ahead of you. Don’t overthink your problems, because they’ll only come back to bite you in the rear later.”
“But I-” Spike began to respond.
“Hold up now,” I held up a hoof stopping him, “I’m not finished. Not just yet, I had this whole conversation planned out, and you are going to hear me out.”
“But-.”
“No buts, listen.”
“But, Da-.” Then he stopped, as did my entire train of thought. A screeching, near de-railment stop, but it stopped. And all I could was stare at Spike.
“Did you just say…?” I really didn’t want to say anything, I was just a bit confused to say the least.
Spike’s shoulders slumped a bit, “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it just sorta came out.”
I reached across the table and put a hoof on his shoulder, “Hey hey hey, what did I say? Be happy. I was just wasn’t expecting you to say that. Just one of those things I’m not sure if I’m ready for yet.”
“Oh.” Spike said, taking another slow bike of his sundae.
“Don’t worry about it, kid,” I offered a smile to him. “you’re going to do just fine. Besides,” I chuckled a bit, “we have a Gala to crash tonight.”
* * *
And we did have a Gala to attend to, I reminded myself as I stood in the foyer of the Ponyville Library. From nervously sweating to pacing back and forth, even the simple notion of breathing I had to remind myself to perform. I even had to force myself to sit down on the couch and try to calm down, but it wasn’t working. Nervousness had fully enveloped my senses.
Though, I had to hand it Rarity; the suit she made me was exquisite. It was simple, yet classy and refined. Its dark threads giving a light purple tint, which I assume was to compliment Twi’s coat, but had thin gold pinstripes running down it. To top it off, Rarity took my suggestion into consideration and added bowtie. A maroon bowtie, but a bowtie nonetheless. I had no idea what the idea of the wear was intended to be, but assuming through Rarity’s prior planning that I matched, if not at least complemented Twilight’s dress. Then again, my fashion sense is a little out of whack, and I could be completely off on what the particular wear for the season was.
For now though, I waited for a message from Twilight, for she and the girls were at Rarity’s boutique having a “girl’s moment” getting all dressed and pretty and whatnot. From past experiences, I figured it wise to wait it out, for we would be at the Gala eventually. Eventually.
I noticed Spike sit down beside me; he was more or less his usual self, wearing a bright smile along with his suit, while eating a ruby sandwich. He saw me looking at his meal and offered me a bite, which I waved off.
“Nervous?” he asked me in between bites of his sandwich.
“Maybe just a bit,” I replied truthfully. No use in lying, for my body was shaking quite a bit. Looking down at my forehooves, it would have been difficult to tell the difference between them and jelly.
Spike took another big bite before answering, “What’s got you so worried anyways? It’s just a big silly dance.”
I thought for a few moments, feeling the weight and restriction of the suit grow on me, almost becoming a burden. I knew that big events were a problem for me in the past, but I had gotten over that recently, or I had hoped so. And then one last thought struck me, “I can’t dance.”
Spike’s response was lost in the knocking on the door. The two of us got up from the safety of the couch and went to the door. When I opened it, I found no one there, or so I thought.
“MmmHHHmmm,” came a voice from below.
Looking down, I saw it was Sweetie Belle, wearing a slightly annoyed expression. “Sorry, didn’t see you down there,” I awkwardly responded, adding a forced, awkward smile to it.
“Oh it’s alright,” she rolled her eyes as she shrugged. “and my sister and everyone is ready for you and Spike to arrive.” She gave the dragon behind me a warm smile, “So, if you’ll follow me please.”
I shrugged, adjusted my suit coat, and followed after Sweetie Belle. The sun was slowly beginning its descent beyond the horizon as we trotted over to Rarity’s boutique.
Nervous as I was, it was nice to get out and have some fresh air. Spike and Sweetie Belle were talking about something, but I couldn’t make it out. Though I did smile when I heard them laughing about something. The young ones always seem to bounce back a bit quickly, I thought.
We arrived shortly, and I was met with two other stallions standing in the foyer of the boutique, waiting. Big Mac was bigger than I thought he was, and I never really thought of him to be one for formal events. Standing next to him was another stallion I didn’t expect, Soarin’. He wasn’t in his Wonderbolt uniform, but his wear still held the presence of a uniform. Both of them mumbled a form of greeting toward Spike and I, which we both returned.
“I’ll be right back,” Sweetie Belle announced, moving toward the back room with a bounce in her step, where the girls were getting ready, “I’ll tell them that you are all here.”
The group stood around a bit awkwardly, shifting from one hoof to another, waiting for the girls to walk through the doors. Apparently there was an itch in the back of my mind that needed to be attended to, and it could not wait, so I opened my mouth half unexpectedly.
“So... Big Mac,” I could almost hear the long lost brony part of my mind punching my voice box to keep me talking. “You waiting on Fluttershy?”
The farm horse responded with his signature, “Eeeeeyup.”
I nodded respectfully then turned to Soarin’, “And Soarin’, correct if I’m wrong, but you’re with Rainbow Dash, right?”
He laughed, “Oh no, I’m actually going with Applejack.” From behind Soarin’ I could see the watchful eye of Big Mac as he said those words.
“...oh,” I could only respond. Then, somewhere in the back of my mind I heard a small high-pitched squeal, internal screaming that would be considered crazy if it was let loose. “Well, I’m happy for both of you.”
The other stallions offered their thanks, and then it went back to the awkward silence, at least till I felt a light jab from Soarin’.
“So, Twilight eh?” he whispered. The Pegasus gave me a sly smile, “Is she a goer? You know? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more?”
I turned to him, taken aback a bit, “What?”
“Sorry,” he laughed. “bad joke, just-,” but he was cut short to by the door on the other side of the foyer opening. At last it would appear our waiting was over. Slowly, one by one the girls appeared, each one’s dress as elegantly stunning as the last. Rarity had clearly outdone herself this time, and it was evident by in the pride in her step as she appeared. Her color had returned and the drowsiness was gone.
But the one mare I was waiting for, my Twilight, finally appeared. After all the waiting I did, seeing her now was well worth a thousand years more. It was difficult to know where to start. Her mane was not its usual square cut, but waved and was of different lengths that cascaded across her face. The expertly curved ends were accented by near transparent pink ribbons, which were held in place with gold, diamond-shaped clips. The easiest way to describe her hair’s appearance was of fire, one beautiful fire flowing down her head. Her earrings were even in the shape of a golden, burning flame. From there, my eyes moved down to her dress. The main body of her dress was of a muted gold with an outline of orange, cut sharp in multiple places, imitating a comet. The contrails of the comet were of gold, accented by another contrail of sparkling magenta. Such as it were, the gold rings around her forehooves gave me the impression that nopony short of a Greek goddess was to be my date tonight. Even to top off all that, she was wearing the best thing of things, one hell of a beautiful smile. I was, to say the least, awestruck and speechless. So when the goddess was barely a foot in front of me I couldn’t even formulate a nervous “Hi”.
“Hey you,” I heard her say, as if from another world. “How do I look?” Judging by my inability to respond, dropped jaw, and look of complete bewilderment, I think she got the message. So, she giggled a bit then kissed my cheek. “You might want to stop drooling.”
“Oh,” I finally managed to speak, snapping out of the daze. I wiped the small trail of saliva from the corner of my mouth. “Thanks, Twi.”
“Don’t mention it, but you might want to put on your best smile, Pinkie might be taking pictures.”
“I’ll be on my good side, promise.”
* * *
Though I had been to the palace before, it looked even more majestic at night; especially with all the lights and fireworks going off periodically. My gaping jaw was seen by Twilight who let out a tiny giggle.
“Something funny?” I smirked at my date as our group made our way to the palace from the carriages. “Because if something is, I would like a laugh as well.”
“Just wondering if that’s how people see me when I find a new book,” her eyes glimmering from the light show above.
“Nah,” Spike answered from behind us. “There’s more drool involved.” The unicorn shot him a glance, but then rolled her eyes.
“I’ll let that slide for now,” she looked at Spike with a condoning look. “Just because it’s the Gala.”
I laughed a bit at the exchange between them and continued to walk with the group toward the palace. Soarin’ and Applejack laughed together under the watchful eye of Big Mac; though he was slightly distracted by Fluttershy who nudged him lightly, a gentle smile appeared upon his face. Rainbow and Pinkie were in some sort of conversation about the application of a party cannon while in flight, meanwhile Rarity seemed to just enjoy their company but was not completely there. I made a mental note to ask her about it later.
Finally approaching the large front door, well decorated for the event, I was surprised to see both Painter and Player there. Both guards were standing tall and proud in full dress regalia. I would have missed them completely, if they had not snapped to attention and Painter had not spoken up.
“Enjoy your night, sir. Don’t do anything too crazy.”
I smiled lightly, continuing to walk into the palace, “No promises, have a good night, gentlemen.”
Looking back as our group entered the palace, I was intrigued by the presence of my former subordinates. They seemed a bit more refined, disciplined. Maybe the Gala brought it out of them. My thoughts drifted to being their superior again, though it was a short time I was in that position, it felt good to be in the saddle. I shook the thought aside. Everything in due time.
It was probably good that I focussed my train of thoughts, because I found myself beside Twilight, being greeted by the Princess of the Sun.
The Princess smiled as she extended a forehoof, which I took graciously, “Good evening, my little ponies. I hope you are having a wonderful night so far.”
I shook her hoof lightly, “The night is still young, Princess. So we’ll just have to see.”
“Then I look forward to your report.” She turned to Twilight, extending a hoof to her, “Good evening, my faithful student. If you’ll wait in the observatory, I’ll be with you shortly.”
“Thank you, Princess,” she too shook Celestia’s hoof with a smile. “I look forward to it.”
As we walked away from the welcoming, I turned to Twilight, “What was up with all that?”
She hesitated with her answer, “Princess Celestia just wanted to clarify something that could not wait. Don’t worry it should only be a few minutes.”
“Right,” I replied then sighed, “I guess I’ll go do my best not to get into too much trouble while I’m out of your sight.”
She flashed me a tiny smile; “It would be nice if you could do that. I really don’t want to be thrown out of the Gala twice.”
I planted a light kiss on her cheek, “No promises, have fun with that Royal Meeting.” Twilight started towards the observatory, but before she was out of earshot, she turned around and said, “No promises.”
I watched her as she walked for a few moments, unsure of what else to do. Thoughts bounced through my head about what things the Princess and Twilight were to be discussing. I shrugged it off, if it was pertinent information to me, I would’ve been included.
I made my way to the main foyer, where the main part of the Gala was taking place. A soft procession of strings and piano played over the light conversation. It was calm, peaceful, yet I was not. I really didn’t know too many people so I kept to myself, skirting the outside of the floor, gazing at certain figures that stood out in the crowd, and at the scenery around me.
One stallion stood out more than the others, I could only assume my mind willed him to stick out from the rest. Shining stood in his dress uniform with a small group of ponies, from what appeared to be some of Canterlot’s upper class. They were immersed in deep conversation, laughing even. Shining caught me in his eye and smiled, he politely excused himself from his group and walked towards me. I could see his eyes sweep over me, and he chuckled lightly.
“I can only guess my sister looks twice as better as you,” he joked, extending his hoof, which I shook firmly. “How are you doing, Philosopher?”
“And you’d be right, but I’m sure you’ll see her soon enough; she’s talking with Princess Celestia about something. As for myself, I’m doing okay, surprisingly.”
“Surprisingly?”
“It’s been interesting these past few days. I’ve had a lot to think about.”
“Well, that is understandable, we’ve all had a lot on our plate as of late. Walk with me?”
“I can do that, sir.” I followed him away from the main floor of the Gala and we walked down one of the side halls of the palace. There was silence for a while and I gazed at the walls and their paintings. Tales of triumph, struggle, hardships and pain adorned the walls. It was hard not to think about those paintings in comparison to the next words coming out of my mouth.
“Sir, I’ve seen and done a lot of things I’m not proud of. I’ve made lost a few friends along the way. It’s been tough to find my path, and when given the chance to start fresh, to start anew, it’s hard not to jump at the opportunity.” I paused, both in speech and in walking. Shining stopped too, focusing at me. “With all due respect sir, I don’t have much history with you or anypony else here for that matter. I cannot say 100% I would be the right match for the job, but if you need me sir, I can be there for you.”
He smiled, a warm smile that made me feel as though I had finally done something right. “Philosopher, I wasn’t expecting an answer anytime soon. Though, it says something to me when you say you’ve been thinking about it. I wouldn’t want you to sign back up unless you felt completely sure about your decision. For whatever it’s worth, I personally would like you there with me.”
I nodded slightly before responding, “Then sir, I’d be honored to serve at your side.”
“Glad to hear that, Lieutenant.” He extended his hoof once again, which I took and shook. “We can discuss this further later on in the week. Tack things down with this new change of command and whatnot. Anything you might need?”
A few thoughts entered my mind, but these they were irreverent. “Sir, I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Well,” He turned and started to walk back to the main floor of the Gala, “If you can think anything at all, I’ll see if I can make it happen for you.”
I watched him for a second before a thought popped up, “Sir, if I could be assigned Painter and Player, a corner office, and some vacation days soon, I think that would be a nice start.”
Shining’s laughter echoed through the hall. He looked over his shoulder when he answered. “I can’t promise everything, but I’ll try. Enjoy your night. Take care of my sister, okay?”
“You as well, sir, and don’t worry. She’s in good hooves.”
I watched him go back to the main floor. I stood there alone in the hallway, the sounds of the Gala echoing in the background. I turned to the painting that hung on the wall nearest to me. In the mural stood a dramatized Princess Celestia standing upon a large bank of clouds in the sky. She was overlooking a brand new sunrise in the distance, her hair flowing in the ever-blowing celestial wind. Her smile was painted as brightly as the sun she was raising. The picture was marked A Brand New Day, by a plaque on the bottom.
My body released a sigh and my head dipped. Taking a deep breath, I looked back up at the painting. “Well, I can only hope I’m doing alright.” I offered a courteous bow to the painting and made my way to back main floor of the Gala.
* * *
I stood off to the side, watching the night move on, couples moving as one to the music on the dance floor. My mind wandered as to the location of Twilight and what could keep her for so long. It was easy to just shrug it off and focus on the drink I was holding. Some form of punch without a punch of any kind. Yet, it was still calming. It was either that or the music coming from the stage. The soothing sound of the strings and the perfect precision of the piano playing in concert together. Closing my eyes and smiling, all my thoughts seemed to dissipate, and order was reestablished within my mind.
At least, it was until I felt a presence nearby. Upon opening an eye to survey the presence, I recognized it to be one cyan pegasus, Rainbow Dash, looking at me inquisitively.
Exhaling lightly, but keeping a smile on my face, “Something I can do for you, Miss Dash?” I asked.
“Just wondering why you’re off by yourself, that’s all” she shrugged.
I chuckled lightly to myself, “I’m no good with big groups, simple as that. Anything else you want to know?”
“Oh, okay,” she paused as if gaining confidence in her next few words. “Do you mind if I ask you some things?”
“I’m sure I have plenty of answers to satisfy your curiosity,” I smirked. “Ask away.”
“Seeing as you’re not from around here, how’d you even fly? Or even go faster than walking?
I looked around, evaluating if any ponies were within earshot, which there was none. “In both aspects, we had machines to take us places. Some went fairly slow, others incredibly fast.”
Her eyes shone with glee, begging for me to continue, which I did. “Now with flying, we have something called planes and the faster of them being called jets. Some of these jets could travel faster than the speed of sound, breaking the sound barrier, creating a sonic boom. Something like your sonic rainboom.”
“You mean to tell me you needed machines to do what I can do everyday?” She rolled her eyes a bit. “Pfft, amateurs.”
“Eh, I had those things save my butt more than once, but that’s just me. But we had machines on the ground too. Think of wagons or carts, but streamlined, strapped with a motor, and made of metal. The best of these costed a small fortune but were the envy of all, and their engines roared like a Manticore. And some of these cars, as we called them, raced at high speeds with high stakes. Some legal, others not so much.”
Her eyes lit up some, “Really?”
“Yeah, these were interesting events, but I really can’t elaborate much on it because I don’t know much besides what I’ve seen in films and whatnot.”
“Well,” she formulated her thoughts again, during the pause in conversation. “Did you see any nice places?”
Thoughts of deployments and duty stations made me laugh aloud, “A few, but not many. There were a lot of harsh environments I stayed in, but I’ve seen some nice areas.
“So, hypothetically,” her voice dragged the last word out a few seconds. “If you could go back, would you?”
“The thought has crossed my mind a few times, actually, many times. I’ve tried to debate in my mind if I made the right choice, I’ve never really came to any real conclusion, but I would have to be with Twilight, that’s all.”
“Ah, okay,” Rainbow replied. She glanced behind me and smiled, “Well I’ll leave you be, thanks for the talk.” With that, she trotted off into the crowd, still bearing her smile.
After watching Rainbow trot into the crowd for a few moments, I soon became aware of another presence to my left. Turning, I saw my Twilight standing there, wearing a beautiful smile on her face, practically radiating happiness.
“Hey,” she began, “sorry it took so long, I didn’t expect it to take such a long time.” She pecked my cheek lightly, “How has your night been?”
“I’ve managed to stay out trouble thus far, just like you asked. So far it’s been a good night.”
She giggled slightly, “Well at least that’s good. What were you and Rainbow Dash talking about?”
“She had a few questions about my first home. So, I entertained her with a few answers.”
“Huh,” she looked to contemplate something, but just shrugged it off. “I’m sure it’s just Rainbow being curious.”
“Fair enough,” I shrugged. “I’m sure if it’s important, we’ll find out pretty quickly.”
She giggled again for a second. “With Rainbow, knowing quickly would be for the best.”
A lull in the conversation appeared and I couldn’t help but stare at her. She was the Twilight I grew fond of on the television screen, yet now she stood next to me. I sighed in happiness, smiling profusely. Noticing my stares, she blushed and looked away. The burden I long since felt on my shoulders seemed to slowly dissipate and only bliss remained. In the background, I felt the music change, and knew what I needed to do.
“I know that I wasn’t much of a dancer back when we started dating, and it doesn’t help now that now I actually have two left feet, but,” I extended a forehoof out to her. “Would you care to dance?”
I wasn’t surprised to see her face light up with joy as she took my hoof into hers, whispering, “It would be my pleasure to graciously accept.”
The music pulled us onto the dance floor and continued to coerce into movement. I could feel the growing number of eyes turning and looking at us. For a brief second, a nervous part of me screamed for me to leave the crowd, but Twilight’s gentle smile kept me beside her on the dance floor. Her soft mane brushed against my neck as we came closer. The sound of her heart beating with mine slowly became one with the instruments on the stage, as we let the melodies fill our souls. The musicians played a smooth concerto that seemed to be gently guiding us, as if it had been specially composed to just for us as we danced. A step to the left, a shuffle forward, a shuffle back, and a spin; I even surprised myself in the elegancy of our movements.
The crowd and the dancers around us seemed to fade away and there was just us on the floor. Only the music surrounded us as we moved. Twilight’s breath became more hesitant, along with mine. Our dance slowed as she pulled us closer. There was no leader, no follower, only one perfect being that moved in perfect synchrony. It felt what the music said, felt the melody take over, and just let the music flow between our connected souls. Another spin, a bow, and a pull; every move felt just as majestic and smooth as the last.
Though the music slowed and began to fade, I could feel something that didn’t want to stop, that never wanted to fade. It just wanted to grow and grow, to envelope all of my being and time with this bliss. As I looked into Twilight’s eyes, I cannot say for certain, but with that blissful smile on her face I think she felt the same. Our lips met for a brief second, but was as passionate as the first. It was in that second that I knew. It was our night, our dance, and our moment. It was all I could think of, it all that mattered, it was her.
* * *
It was quite late when we finally returned to Ponyville. The moon was casting its glow from overhead, and Spike had long since fallen asleep on the train ride from Canterlot. It was not a cold night, but a cool breeze graced the air. It was calm, amazingly peaceful, both physically and within myself.
Then, I found myself on the balcony of the Library on my lonesome, propped up on the railing. My bow tie was loosened around my neck, while my jacket laid draped over my shoulders. I was totally relaxed for what seemed like the first time in forever.
In this state of nirvana, my thoughts drifted. Drifted to where I was, where I came from. It was surreal, like a dream. Memories returned of being in full battle rattle, sending lead downrange. I remembered all the smells of combat; yet they all seemed so distant. The amount of blood on my hands, well hooves, now, seemed too great. Even the blood not covering my conscious, not owned by me, still seemed to haunt my thoughts. But it wasn’t real, just a dream now. A bad dream, yet it had all been real.
Certain memories of that life, like the kick of the rifle against the shoulder, the smell of diesel fuel in the air, or the lingering bad taste of an MRE. It’s strange how something that was once so prevalent in my life now is nothing but a flicker in the dark. All the problems I experienced, the depression, the drinking; it was behind me. Some problems lingered, like the issue with crowds and loud explosions, but that could be overcome with time.
As I stared up into the night sky, at the moon and surrounding stars, I sighed. The night just seemed to fall into place around me, though there was a nagging thought, like an itch inside that needed to be scratched.
Hey, Paul. I started, focusing on the stars above. You wouldn’t believe any of this, where I’m at or whom I’m with. I chuckled a bit before continuing, at the sheer ridiculousness of my actions. A lot has happened since that day. There’s very few moments when I don’t think about that moment. I still owe you, wherever you are up there. You gave me this chance to live again.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I let them fall, thinking of all the times we had together, the beers we drank, all the stupid stunts. The best man speech I gave at his wedding, how he vowed to return the favor.
You gave me the chance I never thought I’d have, Paul. A thank you will never be enough, but I can try to live my life and say, maybe one day, I’ll have earned what you’ve given me.
Twilight bumped into me, surprising me a bit. She was still in her gala attire, though her hair was a bit unkempt from the night’s extravaganza, but still all the more beautiful. Her head fell on my shoulder and we stood in silence for some time. Feeling her there with me, during these thanksgivings was supportive.
“What are you thinking about?” Twilight’s soft voice floated to my ears.
“Twilight,” I started, avoiding the question, “How long have we been together now?”
I could hear the gears turning in head before her answer, “One year, nine months, a week, and four days.”
“You know I’ve said something a few times over that time, a promise I made not once, but twice. I think I remember the whole thing now.” I hesitated in my next breath, “Twilight, there is beauty everywhere you can see, some easier to see than others. If I hadn’t found a certain beauty one day, I don’t know where I would be now.”
She nuzzled closer to me and I threw part of my jacket over her. Both of us planned our next words carefully.
“I’m glad I found you, then,” she said, as she bestowed a gentle peck upon my cheek. “And I’m glad I didn’t lose you.”
“I as well,” I said, smiling lightly, “because in that beauty, I found hope; a hope to live, hope to carry on. It was in that hope I found a new life, a new land, a world far away from the one I left. That hope was you, Twilight. I’m here because of you.”
“This time I’ve spent with you, Toby, my Philosopher,” Twilight’s voice sounded soft to my ears, “Though often trying and difficult, I can’t say there would be a better way to spend that time.”
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I gave her a full kiss, admiring the emotion in it. We broke and settled slowly back to our original positions. There was another itch, part of my conscious kicking the other to get more out of me, to not miss this chance.
Now or never, solider.
“Well,” I started, reaching into my jacket. “I’m not 100% sure on the traditions of Equestrians for this, Rarity’s lesson from today about culture and customs has been lost to me, and with my heart beating a million miles an hour, I think I’ll just play this by ear.” Being so close, I could feel her heartbeat start to speed up as I placed a small box on the railing, between us.
“Now normally, if I still had just two legs, I would get down on one knee and ask. With my life, I’ve lived with regrets and missed chances, but here right now, I don’t want to miss a thing.”
I opened the box, revealing a mixed metal hooflet, consisting of silver and gold veins mixing and intertwining around six beautifully set gems. Her head lifted off my shoulder and focused on the ring then back to me.
Her violet eyes focused on mine, as she stood waiting and yearning for the next words to come out of my mouth.
“Twilight, for all these past times and times to come,” her eyes twinkled with the formation of tears. “Will…will you marry me?”
Immediately I was enveloped in her tight embrace, sending the both of us spinning around the balcony.
“Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes,” She squeed, giving me a long fervent kiss. “Yes, yes I will.”
I could only think to hold on to her out of fear that she might fly away from me. I gave her a long kiss of my own, longing for the bliss of the moment to carry on forever.
“So my original offer stands?” I asked, “From here to forever?”
The look she gave me was one I will always remember, a smile that could reassure the most broken of spirits. The same smile she’s always given me from the beginning. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” So, Paul. You’ve given me the chance, now I just have to earn it.
It’s an easy commute, a train ride to Canterlot and then back to Ponyville. There have been worse times, but thankfully, things have settled down. The whole debacle with changing command after Lord Swift’s uncanny disappearance was quickly settled. From what I’ve heard from subordinates, things have run smoother under Shining’s direction.
I think the best way to describe it would be... fun. There were more logistics then there was actual fieldwork, but I didn’t mind that too much. Sure there was lots of ceremonies to attend because of Princess Celestia and her busy schedule, nonetheless it was still all fun.
There were even times off where I would go out with Painter, Player, even Shining for something to eat. Where we’d joke and laugh around a few drinks. Having some friends now, being more active, it’s helped a lot.
The train jolting to a halt stopped my train of thought. Throwing my saddlebag over my back, I walked off the train and into Ponyville. The sun was already down, due to a long night at Canterlot. I smiled, knowing I would catch a bit of flak from Twilight, seeing as this was the third night in a row.
It was a warm night, not completely uncomfortable in my uniform, but a few sweat beads managed to form. Walking through the streets, I watched stores closing up, ponies heading home. A few greeting were exchanged, which I answered appropriately. Faces I’ve come to know like Doctor Whooves and his marefriend, Derpy Doo, The Cake Family, and many more. Not to mention Twilight’s friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity.
The Library appears as I round the corner, home, I sighed in relief. Opening the door, I was greeted with normal smells of home: books, the oak of the tree, and… the lingering smell of coffee? That smell raised a red flag, which meant Twilight was waiting.
So, not to my surprise when I walked in further, there she was on the couch under a lamplight, reading glasses on, hair up, and a book under her eyes.
“Work long today?” She spoke with a small smile, not looking up from her book. “You do know it’s your night.”
I laughed nervously for a bit, “I know, why do you think I’m early?” Her gaze shifted from the book and onto me. Something told me she was hanging out more with Fluttershy as of late, because the look she gave me reached deep into my soul. “Got it, moving,” I quickly replied, moving up the stairs.
“Glad we agree,” she smirked, returning to her book into her focus.
Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I could hear the soft snores of Spike coming from his area on the second floor. Twilight and I decided that we would clear a space for the growing dragon. Giving him a space near one of the bigger windows of the library, so escaping his tasks sometimes became much easier. Though it is hard to miss a dragon falling from the second floor window.
But I didn’t stop by to see how Spike was doing; I kept walking towards Twilight and I’s space. Though nothing much has changed, I walked over to the only change this room has seen. Walking up to this change, my blissful feeling grew, along with the tender feeling in my chest. I stood over the change, a crib, and the small dark blue filly inside of it. I spent sometime looking over the filly, before noticing Twilight walk up behind me. There we both stood over the little filly, a little horn piercing its blonde mane with a light purple stripe flowing beside it.
“You know, she has your eyes,” Twilight softly spoke, in attempt not to wake our little filly.
“Well, she’s probably to grow up and be an egghead like her mother,” I nudged her lightly.
“I think she’ll probably have her father’s stubbornness,” she nudged back.
“It wouldn’t fail to surprise me,” I sighed, running a hoof through the younglings mare, causing it to yawn and roll over. “I still love her name we decided on.”
“Yes, it is quite fitting, for us, and for her,” she pondered for a few seconds. ”Though, Starlight Fantasy may be a tad long.”
“And she’ll learn to write it and love her name, because it’s one of those beautiful things in life. Just like her,” I turned my head and gave Twilight, my wife, a kiss on the cheek. “And just like her mother, Love you.”
She nuzzled me for a second, “And I love you too.”
I know I’m just starting to earn it, at least in your eyes, Paul, but I think I’m on the right path.
Hey Audience, Doc here with some parting (rambling) words along with some history.
I never expected this story to be well received or received at all. It really just started off as a passing of ideas between a friend and I (the scene where Toby and Twilight are at his apartment for the first time). From there it was an itch in the back of my head that needed to be scratched, so I spent the whole month of February (2012) writing it. By the end of three weeks or so, I had already had the first part written (the first 13 chapters), and after getting a few opinions from some people (all who really liked it), decided to put on this site. I remember watching grow, and everything. Hell, i was surprised to say the least. The next 17 chapters were not really expected to be written, but it was done.
Now, a lot of this was writing as I went. Surprisingly enough, i only had an end i was working towards, and a lot of the time i didn't know how to get there. That being said, there was a lot of stuff not included that will never see the light of day (i.e. there was more to chapter six that would require a different rating for this story). There were also a lot of things i added, per some comments i got, such as storyline things, but i can't quite remember though. And as much as some of you wanted Trixie and Lord Swift to end up on a nice sliver platter, didn't think that would appropriate for future events.
People write for different reasons, such as for the fun of it, or purposely for a message. This one just went out to those, in this community, who have served their country or in the future will put themselves in that position. There isn't many stories out there like this or many (I felt) that do well in the manner of presenting the story. I tried to do my best, not presenting it in a Pro-this country/political party thing, though everything is biased in some sort of fashion. I did try my best to be realistic and be relatively close to actual "combat situations", without having prior knowledge and i hope i accomplished such.
Anyways, all that being said, a quick shout out to J.Xayph and Sphinx76 for bearing with me and editing this. I can be kinda an ass when it comes to deadlines and whatnot. A big thanks to them for working with me and hopefully continuing to work with me on my works. And a thank you for everyone who has read this and stuck with me from the beginning, because I didn't think i had it in me to write and be a writer. Seriously, my english teachers hate me.
Godspeed, and Good luck. Till next time. Dr.Shisno
