Chapter One: Slumber Party
Acting Foalish
Chapter One: Slumber Party
“Can you BELIEVE the gall of that music teacher this morning?” said Diamond Tiara, sitting on her elegant canopy bed with Silver Spoon. It was already getting late, but both of them always tried to fight off sleep as long as they could when they had a slumber party.
Silver Spoon looked up from the book she was reading, wrapped up in the pink sheets.
“I know, what was that about?” said Silver Spoon.
“I know. Like ... so yeah, we were talking during class. I’ll give her that. I don’t care, but I’ll give her that.”
“Right.”
“But then she just goes off like that. Saying all that ... what did she even say?”
“I dunno, I mostly just tune out anything teachers say.”
“Heh, I know, right? But yeah, it was something like ... ‘Didn’t your mothers teach you any manners?’ And I’m like, ‘My mom didn’t teach me crap, so what?’”
“And you could, like, totally tell she didn’t know what to say to that. Unicorn witch.”
“I mean, that’s how it is. You sass with me, I’ll sass you back.”
“It’s like... you know, the golden rule. Do to ponies what they would do to you.”
“That’s right! She did me, so I did her right back.”
“Well ... no, I don’t think she did you. I think you get arrested for that.”
“Well she ... oh, shut up!”
Silver Spoon giggled.
“You’re a total skeeze, you know that?” said Diamond Tiara, laughing. Diamond Tiara snatched the book from Silver Spoon’s hooves. “I think you’ve been reading too many trashy romance.”
“At least I can read, idiot,” said Silver Spoon, laughing too.
“I CAN read, I choose not to.” Diamond Tiara looked at the cover. There was a bat pony stallion wrapping an Earth mare up with his wings. “What is this, anyway?”
“It’s about bat ponies, but here they’re like ... vampires. From the moon.”
“Oh yeah, that’s totally not dumb. I’m enthralled.” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.
Silver Spoon’s eyes shot down, red reaching her cheeks. Diamond Tiara bit her lip. She might have overdone it a little ... not that she felt bad or anything. Just ... well, she might have overdone it.
“Well ... well, I dunno,” said Diamond Tiara, forcing a smile. “I mean, the bat pony stallion looks hot, I guess.”
Silver Spoon relaxed a bit.
“Huh ... I thought you thought colts were gross,” she said.
“Well, they are, but he’s like ... nice gross, I guess. You know, decent for a guy in a book about bat dong.”
Silver Spoon chuckled.
“It’s not about bat dong,” she said.
“Oh really? IS there bat dong in it?”
Silver Spoon smiled and her face turned redder.
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” she said.
Diamond Tiara could hardly hear her over the sound of her own laughter, as she fell back on the bed.
“Shut up,” said Silver Spoon. She grinned and threw a pillow at Diamond Tiara’s head, making Diamond Tiara laugh harder.
Finally, her laughter petered out and, in between a few deep breaths, Diamond Tiara said, “Wow. I feel like I know more about your tastes then I wanted to know.”
“Oh come on, like you don’t have stuff you’re into.”
“Hey now, this is about you! You’re on trial now, not me!”
Silver Spoon giggled. “I guess I can look forward to a whole week of this.”
“You know it,” said Diamond Tiara. “I’m glad you’re staying here while your parents are off doing boring stuff. What did you say they were going anyway?”
“Visiting their cousins in Canterlot or something.”
“Oh ... well forget that.” Diamond Tiara’s smile faltered. “The farther I stay away from Canterlot, the better.”
Silver Spoon frowned and gave Diamond Tiara a soft look, but at least had the decency not to say anything more about it.
“W-well, anyway,” said Silver Spoon, “it just means we get to spend a ton of time together! You’ll have plenty of time to mess with me all week.”
Diamond Tiara gave a weak smile. She sometimes wondered if she deserved a friend as good as Silver Spoon, who knew when to just shut up without her having to say anything at all. It was a quality far too rare.
“I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun,” said Diamond Tiara.
“Yeah!” said Silver Spoon with a gleam in her eyes behind her blue designer glasses. “It’ll be great! Especially since schools out for the Summer Sunflower Jamboree! I love this time of year. The only thing is makes me feel sad. I feel like there aren’t enough holidays in summer. I mean, just twelve and then it’s fall. It’s such a drag.”
“Just twelve? That’s not enough?”
“Considering we have to go back to school after, no. No, it’s not.”
“Good point.”
“I hear there’s gonna a dance or something.” Silver Spoon gave a wide smile. “Might be fun to check out.”
“I doubt it.” Diamond Tiara turned her nose up. “Anything called a ‘jamboree’ probably involves banjo music, overalls, and marrying our cousins.” She snickered. “So since we’re not Applebloom, we wouldn’t enjoy that.”
Silver Spoon chuckled. “Seriously though, it could still be fun. You never know.”
“Trust me, I know. But whatever, we could check it out, see if we can mess with the Blank Flanks a bit. I’m sure they’ll be at something dumb like that.” Diamond Tiara dismissively waved her hoof. “Besides, there are more important things we can do, things that actually matter.”
“Shopping?”
“Exactly! And then--“
Diamond Tiara was interrupted by a knock at the door. She heard the gravelly voice of her father, Filthy Rich.
“Sweetie?” he said.
Silver Spoon had a chuckle at her friend's nickname, probably for the millionth time now. Diamond Tiara shushed her, then put on her sweetest voice for her father.
"Come in, daddy..." she said.
When the door swung open, Diamond Tiara could already tell something was up. Her dad’s hair looked messed up, and she wasn’t sure, but it looked a bit greyer than usual. He was frowning.
Diamond Tiara felt her friend’s hoof on her shoulder; Silver Spoon could tell too.
“Dad, what’s wrong?” said Diamond Tiara.
“It’s ...” Dad sighed. “Well, I’m sorry, but something has come up that requires my attention out in Manehatten for a bit. I’m afraid I’ll have to leave first thing tomorrow.”
“What?!” said both fillies at the same time.
“I’m really sorry, both of you,” he said. “Apparently the new Rich’s Barnyard Bargins that opened up in Manehatten has run into some ... um ... unforeseen difficulties. I have to go there and put out a few fires.”
“W-well, do you really have to?” said Diamond Tiara. “I mean, it can’t be THAT serious, can it?”
“Sweetie, that wasn’t a figure of speech. The store literally caught fire.”
“Oh,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon sat next to her, staring intently at the sheets on the bed. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“But ... but I was supposed to stay here for the week ...” said Silver Spoon. Her voice was cracking just a bit, enough to make it honestly hard for Diamond Tiara to hear.
“Now now, don’t get upset,” said Dad, putting his front hooves. “I’m not going to leave you high and dry.” He paused, then gave a nervous chuckle. “Heh, high and dry. After a fire. That’s pretty funny.”
“What’s so funny?!” shouted Diamond Tiara suddenly. “Where is Silver Spoon gonna stay? What about ME, where am I going to stay?!”
“Sweetie--“
“This is terrible!” Diamond Tiara’s voice sounded less like speech and more like a high pitch screech that vaguely resembled language. “What am I supposed to do now?! Why does everything bad have to happen to me?! I HATE YOU! How--”
“Settle down, sugarbug, I took care of everything,” he said. “Daddy just got off the phone making a few calls. I’ve already had it arranged for you and Silver Spoon to stay somewhere else ... and you’ll both stay together, just like y’all wanted.”
Silver Spoon suddenly brightened up. “Really?” she said.
“Yep, it’s all set up.”
“Oh,” said Diamond Tiara, switching off her tantrum like a light switch. “Aww, I knew you’d come through. I love you, daddy.”
Diamond Tiara trotted up and hugged her daddy on the leg.
“Uh huh, and I thought you just said you hated me,” said Dad, with a smile.
“I changed my mind.”
“Awww,” said Dad, ruffling Diamond Tiara’s hair with his hoof.
Diamond Tiara grinned. She might avoid getting in trouble for the outburst after all. The great thing about being a foal was that doing something cute could turn most adults into putty without them even realizing. She gripped her daddy’s leg tighter.
“So where are we staying?” said Diamond Tiara, sweetly.
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. You’ll even get to hang out with some of your friends from school too.”
Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened. Uh oh, she thought. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. Something so contrived couldn’t POSSIBLY happen.
Silver Spoon apparently had the same thought.
“Wait a minute, please tell me you’re not actually having us stay with--“
“APPLEBLOOM!” shouted Applejack. “Applebloom, get out here right now!”
Applebloom could hear her sister yelling, even through the walls of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse. She had a scowl on her face. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sat in front of her. Even in the dim light of the clubhouse, Applebloom could see Sweetie Belle in particular looked uncomfortable, scratching the back of her neck with her hoof. Scootaloo wiggled uneasily from her seat on the floor. She glanced at the window and the darkness outside.
“Um,” Scootaloo finally said, “aren’t you going to go out--“
“No,” said Applebloom.
“Alllright then ...” said Scootaloo.
They heard Applejack shout again. “Come on out here! Ah ain’t gonna ask ya again!”
Sweetie Belle finally chimed in with an uneasy smile.
“Well ... hey, maybe it won’t be that bad!”
“’Won’t be that bad?’” said Applebloom. “Ain’t you heard what ah said? Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon coming to stay wit me? In mah house? For a WEEK?”
“Well, look on the bright side! At least they’re not staying like ... forever or anything.”
Scootaloo muttered, “A week with those two probably feels like forever.”
Sweetie Belle shot a glare. “You’re not helping.”
Applebloom put her hoof in her face.
“Ah still can’t believe this,” she said. “Why would Applejack do this to me? Ah mean ... she KNOWS what kind of ponies Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are. She saw what jerks they were when Babs left town. She couldn’t just ignore that! Why would she do this?!”
“Well,” Sweetie Belle said, “did she tell you why?”
“Nah ...”
“What exactly did she say?”
“She just said her and Granny Smith got off the phone with Filthy Rich, and that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were staying here, and then ...”
“And then ... what?”
Applebloom suddenly felt embarrassed as she remembered.
“And then ... ah kinda didn’t let Applejack say much else. Ah just kinda ran out the house ... and ah might have swore ... some.”
“You SWORE at Applejack?!” said Scootaloo. “Wow, you’re gonna get it now.”
“Ah didn’t swear AT her. Ah just swore and she happened ta be caught in it.” Applebloom lowered her head. “Maybe it wasn’t right ta act like that ...”
“Maybe you should go out and talk to her,” said Sweetie Belle. “And like I said, maybe it won’t be so bad after all. Even if those two do hang around here. It might be fun.”
“Let’s not go crazy,” said Scootaloo. “Fun is a strong word. Tolerable is ... well, okay, that’s a bit too strong too. Whatever, that’s not important right now.”
“Yeah,” said Applebloom.
Before she could say anything else, they heard Applejack yell from outside, but with less anger.
“Applebloom ... ah just wanna talk ...”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle just stared at Applebloom. They didn’t have to say anything. Applebloom knew what she had to do. She slowly walked to the door.
“Applebloom?” called out Scootaloo.
“Yeah?”
“Maybe ... try not to swear this time.”
“... Thanks, Scoots. I’ll try ta keep that in mind.”
Sweetie Belle elbowed Scootaloo again.
“I’m just saying!” said Scootaloo. “Jeez!”
With a sigh, Applebloom walked out of the clubhouse and was hit by the humid air outside. She could already see Applejack waiting for her at the bottom of the ramp with a worried frown on her face. The look on Applejack’s face gave Applebloom a sinking feeling in her chest. Applejack did so much for her ... and Applebloom hadn’t given her a chance to explain.
Before she knew it, Applebloom found herself charging down the ramp and swung her hooves around Applejack’s neck.
“APPLEJACK, AH’M SO SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN TA RUN OUT LIKE THAT AND NOT GIVE YA A CHANCE TO TALK AND ACT LIKE A HUGE JERK AND SWEAR AND--“
“Whoa whoa, easy there, sugarcube,” said Applejack. She pried Applebloom’s hooves off of her and took a deep breath. “Grips a little tight there. Phew.”
“Heh, sorry ... ah was just really sorry for how ah acted. Ah was just so mad ... ah’m really sorry.”
“Aw ...” Applejack brought Applebloom in for a gentle hug. “It’s alright, lil sis. Ain’t nothing to get upset about. Ah ain’t mad ...”
“Really? Even after ah called ya a--“
“Ah know what ya said, don’t push it,” Applejack said sternly.
“Heh, sorry.”
Applejack chuckled.
“It’s alright, it’s alright, ah’m sorry too. Ah guess ah should have found a better way to break the news ...”
“Yeah, about that,” said Applebloom, breaking off from her sister’s embrace. “Ah was wondering if ah could ask ya somethin’?”
“Okay, shoot.”
Applebloom threw her hooves up. “WHY?!”
“Okay, that’s a fair question ... well, Filthy Rich called and said he was inna bind. Since he’s one of our biggest buyers, I wanted ta hear’m out. He has some business ta attend to and needed some place for Diamond Tiara ta stay for the week, Silver Spoon too since he was supposed ta watch her too.”
“They don’t really ... NEED anypony watchin’ ‘em, do they? Ah mean, they’d be fine alone ...”
“Ya can’t just leave little foals alone, regardless of whether ya like’em or not. Ah mean ... what if they were left alone and there was a flood or somethin’?”
“Guess they should learn ta float ...”
“Applebloom!”
“Ah was joking! Ah ... ah guess ah hear what you’re sayin’ but ...”
“Well, ah almost said no anyway ... but he just seemed so upset, goin’ all on about how anypony who could help was outta town for the holiday, and then Granny Smith--“
In the darkness, Applebloom heard her Granny’s voice.
“Ah said we could handle any’a them ragamuffins no problem!
Applejack and Applebloom both flinched as Granny Smith seemed to appear out of the shadows, sweat dripping down her wrinkled face.
“Rich is from decent enough stock, ah figure, can’t just leave him twistin’ in the wind like that. Specially since ah remember when he was knee-high to a chicken.” Granny wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Whew! Celestia almighty, it’s hot out here!” Granny Smith snatched Applejack’s hat and fanned herself with it. “Phew!”
“Granny!” said Applejack. “What the- what’re ya doing out here? Were ya just ... waitin’ there that whole time ta pop up all dramatic-like?”
“Nah nah, ah was just making sure ya and Applebloom settled ya’lls tiff on ya’lls own. Ya’ll are just adorable, ya know.” Granny Smith gave a big, wrinkled grin. “Scarin’ the horsefeathers off’n your behind was justa bonus.”
“Yeah yeah,” said Applejack, taking her hat back. “Ya shouldn’t even be out in this heat.”
“Psh. I ain’t no invalid. Ponies was built tougher in mah day anyway. Back before ya’lls fancy auto-locomotives--“
“Yah mean trains?”
“Auto-trains, whatever! Before that, we used tah GALLOP to Canterlot if we needed to get there--“
“Uh huh--“
“Wit’ all our apples and wares on our backs!”
“We know, Granny.”
“And they said a train ride there takes halfa day. PSH! We used ta make that trip in HALF the time runnin’, and that was in the blisterin’ heat too!”
“We know, Granny.”
“And we LIKED it! Don’t be talkin’ about ‘too hot,’ filly.”
Applejack turned to Applebloom and just gave her a smirk. Applebloom couldn’t help but chuckle. This kind of conversation with Granny Smith was by no means unusual.
Granny Smith tried to glare, but eventually a smile broke on her face and she laughed too. Applebloom loved it when they all joked like this. It was enough to almost make her forget everything she was worried about.
“Ah guess maybe this won’t be so bad,” said Applebloom. “Ah mean, ah am worried ... ah just don’t wanta get made fun of.”
“Don’t worry,” said Applejack gently. “Granny Smith and Big Mac and ah would never let anythin’ happen ta you.”
“Really?”
“Yer darn tootin’!” chimed in Granny Smith. “Ah didn’t get this old without learnin’ a thing or two about keepin’ youngins in line!”
“That’s right,” said Applejack. “Ya’ll got nothin’ to worry about. Heck, ya’ll might even end up gettin’ along.”
Applebloom rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, sure, that’s what all adults say. Ain’t how it works in real life.”
Applejack just gave her sister a sweet smile.
“Trust me,” she said. “If there’s one thing ah learned, it’s that ponies always have a way of surprisin’ ya. Everypony acts the way they do fer a reason. Ponies don’t just go around lookin’ to be mean and cruel.”
“...Ya have met these two, right?”
“Ah know, yer worried, but believe me. Once ya’ll spend time together, ya might find there’s more ta those two than just being mean.
“Who knows, maybe they’re even lookin’ forward to it.”
“I AM SO FREAKING PISSED!” shouted Diamond Tiara.
Even in the dark, Diamond Tiara could make out Silver Spoon’s head rising from the pillow on the foot of the bed. Silver Spoon squinted at her, probably barely able to see without her glasses. She yawned.
“You say something?” she said, half-slurred.
“How can you sleep at a time like this?!” yelled Diamond Tiara. She gripped the sheets tight with her hooves.
“Typically I close my eyes and just kinda wait.”
“Ha ha, very funny. I’m being serious!”
Silver Spoon yawned again. “Look, I think we’ve talked about it enough for now, can we just talk about it tomorrow?”
“It’s past midnight, it’s already tomorrow.”
“I mean, you know, ‘tomorrow’ tomorrow then?” Her head slumped.
“Hey hey!” Diamond Tiara nudged Silver Spoon hard under the sheets. “I need you awake for my rage!”
Silver Spoon’s head shot up again. Her eyes popped open wide for a moment.
“Right right, I’m up. I am like ... totally participating in your rage now.”
“Okay, good.”
Diamond Tiara could hardly stay still underneath the sheets. She felt like getting up and pacing, but didn’t for fear of her dad waking up. All the yelling and complaining she and Silver Spoon had done for the past few hours kept him up enough already.
“You worried?” said Silver Spoon, out of the blue.
Diamond Tiara froze for a moment, before simply smirking.
“Worried? Worried for what?” she said, confidently. “As if some Blank Flanks are anything I would ever worry about. I’m just ... annoyed at the situation. Think of how it’s going to be, those losers hanging around us, cramping our style, probably acting we owe them just because they think Applejack did my dad a favor or something. Thinking they’re better than us! When they’re totally not.”
“Totally,” said Silver Spoon, nodding sleepily.
Diamond Tiara hooves rustled the sheets uneasily.
“Heh, you know, those idiots are probably thinking something like ‘I bet we can get back at those two’ or something dumb like that. As if they could ever do anything to us. I mean, we’re totally the alpha wolves here. Or is it alpha dogs? Whatever, we’re totally the alpha somethings!”
“Right, so alpha.”
“Well, let them try something like that! They’ll see how bad THIS filly is! I can take anything anypony throws at me! And I’m not gonna let those friend-stealing, arrogant little freaks get the jump on me! They’ll learn real quick who’s in charge here!”
“Uh huh.” Silver Spoon yawned again, her speech getting slurred again. “That’s ... you mean us, right?”
“Well, I meant me, but by extension you, of course! You ARE my BFF, you know.”
“Okay, okay cool.” Silver Spoon slowly rested her head back on the pillow. “Just making sure you weren’t worried,” she said through a yawn. “Try to get some sleep. We’ll figure this out in the morning when we get over there.”
“Right ... right, yeah. I’ll get some sleep. Don’t worry.” She paused. “Hey, Silver Spoon?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m ...” Diamond Tiara struggled to find the words. “I’m sorry about all this, you know? I know it sucks.”
“Oh. Oh don’t worry about it.” Silver Spoon yawned again. “It’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about, right?”
“Right. Of course.”
“Right ...” Silver Spoon dug her head into the pillow. It wasn’t long before Diamond Tiara heard her snoring.
Diamond Tiara laid her head on the pillow. She wasn’t sure how long she laid there, wide awake, thinking of all the things the Blank Flanks could do to get back at her, all the things they could be plotting right now ...
Not that she was worried, she told herself as she laid there with wide eyes.
Not worried at all.