> From Humans to Ponies > by Princess Echo > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > This is my life... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was first introduced to the fandom of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a little bit later than most other fans of the show were. I think when I first seen the show is when one or more of the show characters aroused my curiosity after seeing them on more than one place where surfing the web or entertaining myself by watching fan made animated music videos, viewing various types of art on the Deviantart.com website, or just keeping myself busy on listening to music as a way to stay in my own little world to feel more calm and at peace, and for most of my life seven-teen years straight, I had never had any long time trips outside of the solitude of my own home for having little interest in the outside world and being so lazy and confined to things in that I just never went anywhere. My days were spent in a school filled with people that for some reason, I never felt comfortable around or very welcomed in any way at all during my time there and anyone who would come talk to me I wouldn't spend a lot of my time talking to them or trying to be friends since I just most often kept to myself, so no one else would bother me and my nights at home were spent rotting away my brain away with silly yet entertaining cartoons and TV shows that would come on during the night or just listening to the music that I had, or just laugh and joke around with my two idiot brother and my stupid sack of shit mother that was just fake anyway.. Life as a whole to me was pretty dull, boring, gray and very unbearable and all I had to make it all some what more bearable was a few of my toys I still had at regardless of my age, video games, movies and TV shows I watched that I could only wish could have the same adventures as the characters on the TV show had, but I knew it was never going to happen for me and knew I was only going to have to stick to my imagination I silently had to myself. This is then when I first begin become more curious about what the show actually was after I saw one or more of the characters from show on a few fan made animated music video I kept watching day after day. I thought if something like was really in a video among other different things movies and animated shows, it must have some type of great entertainment value, but since my first impression was that it had a pony character in it and I remembered the whole show only aimed for little girls, I was hesitant to try out the show for the first time until I saw it again on a few websites I visited and videos suggestions. I decided to then see what the show had to personally offer to me then watched the first episode for myself to it for myself for the first time, and once I saw first half of the episode I actually enjoyed it and my interest in the show aroused right after I finished watching the first two episodes of season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. From there, I started watching all the shows from the first episode to the episode of the royal Canterlot wedding and found myself not being able to wait for more episodes. I soon started to get even more into the entire fanbase once I searched for fan art and videos then came across the RP website of Ponysquare that someone have informed me about when I brought up the subject of MLP. The site as I remember was pretty neat and had freedom to RP anything you could like and I even made my first OC or ponysona as I like to call it, and I called her Princess Echo who was a Pegasus pony and a mythological nymph. I believe I was only fourth-teen or third-teen years of age when I started to get that into it and I had a lot of fun on that website, so much fun that I would stay on there for hours and hours on end talking and role-playing with Bronies and Pegasisters for fun because for me and them it was like a way of escaping or usual plain and ordinary lives as us and jump into our own world of the FiM universe. I'll be so happy and entertained just role-playing, making up adventures, making narrative role plays, interacting with the main cast even if it all was just RP and not actually happening, but I still felt at peace, entertained and calm while on my computer indulging in a imaginative world of a MLP:FiM RP. All of the friends I made over the past few years along with the characters I come to love watching on show plus the show itself continue to hold a special place in my heart today, and when I had to go or leave for the night I would go to bed with nothing but all the RP adventures and the FiM ponies on my mind all night until I went to sleep to the next morning when I would get up to get back on my computer to go back to RP'ing with all my friends again to relive the enjoyment I had from it all and what made it better was like I said before, I had friends who also thought like me, felt the same way I did and who I could talk to about more things than I ever could that I refuse to talk to about with my family and even though it all took place on a RP website, miles and distance had no effect on our friendly relationships. I got hooked on everything this fanbase offered including the fan videos, art, characters, OC and the Brony musicians I listened to on Youtube that was very much talented and who music I kept on listening to over and over again. During that time, I knew I found something I truly had a lot of interest in that I knew I would just fall in love with which is a surprise since I always find something I enjoy then get hooked to it just to move on to something else I like and almost forget about what I previously hooked to before. When ever I watched the show, whenever I role played on the site and talk to them about the show I just felt so alive better than I ever felt in my real life there wasn't any way to describe how much love I felt towards the whole show, it was ironically everything I needed in my life to lift my spirits to make me a little more happy and the fact that they were girls made it personally more enjoyable to me (I was 14 then, so I was in the phase of hormones which might make me one of those Bronies, but regardless, I still found the show fun for what to offer) it made me almost forget about the stresses and strains of life and was one of the best ways I could tune out the rest of my family, so they wouldn't bother me since most of the time no one bothered me when I was in my own world not bothering anyone and that how I liked it especially since I never, ever wanted to be bothered with them especially since I didn't really feel very at home with them as I used to be when I was little now that begin seeing how much they changed and how much I hate them now. Just like other Bronies probably were I was really addicted to the show obviously and didn't have no social friends out of the RP site, but I didn't care much about that since I had no real friends I would like or be long time friends with anyway. Most of the kids at my school seemed pretty ignorant, a waste of time, untrustworthy and fake anyway and very disrespectful. Although, I never focused on them for too very long and was oblivious to things happening in the world since I didn't care about and all that was being on my mind was my Brony friends and the show as always. To me the show and the ponies was more than just a show that started off as show for little girls that soon progressed into a show for men, woman and children of all ages. It became who I was and part of my identity, my air, my sunshine, my cupcakes and everything and I could make any real friends where I live anyone can guarantee I would convert them in Bronies, Pegasisters and other fans as well. As time soon passed and I grew more and more, things begin to change on Ponysquare and friends begin to break up and some moved to different sites to do their RP'ing due to certain reasons why they could not stay on Ponysquare any longer and life begin to get in the way of me visiting my friends on the website every now and again it then only got worst when my family started to intervene, too. It was getting pretty bad because it felt like the more and more I tried make time for myself that thing who keeps calling herself my mother got in the way of my life more, and gotten more verbally abusive and disrespectful. She would get mad at the stupidest things, threaten to take my computer away, get on everyone nerves just to piss them off and scream at others because of the most smallest of unimportant things. My twin brother was just a stupid, ignorant, spineless, pathetic weak person who would rather follow behind others and could not even socially interact with other normally since it would just get him in trouble more times than he could count, but the worst part about it is that he was stupid enough to fall behind the exact same girl for three years in a row who got him trouble three years in a row, and my oldest brother was a pompous, irritating, racist, wannabe cool bully who think he was better than other because got job and think he smarter than anyone else. He and my mother was both just selfish, smart-ass, inconsiderate hypocrites who loved talking down on other, but never wanted to admit to their own flaws ever. I could not stand my brother twin, but was just an any compared to them to they both got me enraged and pissed, I wasn't able to count the times I thought about wanting to end and be ride of them forever. Him and April was both the ones was making my life worst than it already and I hated them even more for and it only made me wish Equestria was rel more and more... I hurts my heart that this is my reality I have to live with them in. Throughout the years I've discovered new things, but have never lost my interest in the show I still love too much to just forget and throw away including a few of my grades and interest, the art and videos the fans made inspired by the show inspired to become better at drawing and peruse a carrier in animation, but the process of getting better at art is pretty slow and time consuming it bringing me down because I feel by the time I even get half as good as them, the MLP series will be over and would have missed out on it all because I could not draw and I was so uncreative I sometimes wonder if I will ever even get there or if I'm just kidding myself with this whole dream of mine. I've been so modest and afraid that I've been afraid to practice drawing FiM ponies because I'm afraid how they will come out when I'm done I'm afraid they'll be horrible, but what if I'll never be able to amount to anything though..." *~Friday, September 25th 2015~* After a long day of school, I'm back at home in the small, broken and disgusting trailer that I live in with April, my twenty-five year old brother I come to hate and my twin I come to hate almost as much as them plush my older brother baby and his loud, annoying girlfriend living in our house just taking up more space that we need is getting pretty difficult for me here and the house is feeling all the more smaller now. I feel more depressed than I was before now that that mean, selfish, inconsiderate sad excuse of a human being took away my dog that I love and cared about and sent him to the pound. He was a good dog and I wish I could have said goodbye to him and the more I think of it, the more I hate her and want to do nothing more but suffer for all of this shit. All I want is for her to suffer, struggle and hurt after everything she done and the seven-teen years I wasted in my life being with her I wish she would have been dead both her and my older brother. Even if we didn't have anyone looking out for us, it would still be better than living with someone I'm sick of and hated with everything I love. By this time I could even stomach any of them and let alone stand them. My older brother, Tre, only gotten worst he used to always tell me how no one worried about me or nobody needs me and every time he talked shit, I wanted to punch him right in his jaw and I even remembered there was a time I almost punched my that woman, April, because I had almost reached my limit with her right when I was in her room. One of these days, I know I might just snap and kill everyone... god forbid, but sad to say, I felt like that towards all of them and I did not care one way or the other, but I just wanted something more and better than what got, I wanted to be happy and find a place I could call home, I'm tired of being sad and angry because of all of them I wanted a new life... I wanted Equestria. I was by myself in the living of my house trailer it was real quiet without my dog Ashes which only made me sad, angry and depressed more and made me want to go inside April's room and stab or slit her throat and be done with her. You can't imagine my depression right now I value things and people I love and because of her, he was gone and I wanted to kill her for it, but I tried to think of something to do anything to get my mind off things that would make me more mad, but nothing helped, so I just decided to go away and rest for the night but I decided to lay on the sofa instead since my brother was in our room, I did not want to run the risk of waking the bastard up since I didn't want him awake tonight all night then all through the next day, too. Maybe then I'll finally get the peace I wanted. It took me some time to finally get some comfort because of the day I had and what I had to come home to after my day was finished. I would have hoped at least the last day of the week would have ended more better than the way that bitch made it end and April think the lost of something I loved can be replaced with some stupid donuts and sugar, but I think she should know that just bullshit. Every time I think of her, I can't think of nothing more but bad things and how much I hate her after everything that happened I think I will only start getting mad just from the thought of looking at her or being near her. All I would want right now is to kill her and make her suffer, but there is much I'm not ready for right now and I need more preparations before I can actually go through with something like to avoid my own criminalization soon the idea in my head just been passed aside in the corner of my mind as I moved on and closed my eyes, attempted to go to sleep for the next day or for at least an hour or so. Soon an hour or two have passed since I have passed out on the couch to rest my nerves and anger towards the people I hated so much. I slowly got up from the sofa a bit groggily as I woke and tried regain my composer before getting up to walk to the bathroom I rubbed my eyes and yawned walked to the tub to take a shower and get out of the school clothes I had on ever since I've been home. After I showered and dried off I went back into the living room to watch some TV alone jut like I liked it since my brother, April, Tre and his girlfriend was still out of the house and out of my sight and my nowhere near me, I could do whatever I wanted to right now and watch what I wanted, so turning to Netflix, I went to the latest MLP episodes and clicked on "Bloom & Gloom" which was one of my favorite episodes since it was kind of dark in a child friendly way, but still something I'd enjoyed watching and as it quickly loaded into the very first scene at the beginning of the episode, something about it almost felt a little off and different about it than I remember... at least I think it was a bit different than I remember. The episode started off like it have before showing the crusaders club house and Applebloom announcing a meeting to her fellow cutie mark crusaders and announcing everyone is present and all just the usual way the episode was starting, but it was hard for me to pay close attention to it as I was getting ready dose off again slightly, laying back on the couch a bit as I felt myself falling asleep. I still had my eyes aimed at the TV trying to watch the show and struggling to stay awake, which was something I shouldn't be doing right now since I normally feel half or fully awake after a all hot shower, but I still felt a bit drowsy and found myself fighting sleep. While watching TV and struggling to keep my eyelids open, that is when something pretty strange and actually something pretty creepy happened that was just enough to wake me up when I heard Applebloom line right before she mentioned Babs Seed's letter from Manehatten about her cutie mark. "Hey, bud, we're gonna need ya ta pay attention." she said in a normal, but serious tone then gone back to her normal line and dialogue in the episode. I shot back up from the sofa and looked at the three fillies on the TV screen as if they were something that just jumped out in front of me and almost scared the hell out of me. I couldn't decide whether to get scared and run somewhere else or sit there trying to make sure I was still in reality with my rational mind and I was sill awake. Then I picked up the vizio remote and re winded the scene to listen to it again, but before I did that I paused it to brace myself and decided if I wanted to really re-watch that to see if she says her normal line or repeat what she just said. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds, opened them, pressed play and instead of Applebloom saying she wanted somebody (who I'm assuming was me she told to pay attention) she just said her usual line and nothing else. I looked down and sighed rubbing my head to try getting all kinds of those unpleasant feelings and thoughts out of my head as I got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink and deciding I probably just imagined she said that and then went back on the sofa to continue watching the rest of the episode. It thankfully went how it normally would go aside from what thought I heard her say earlier and I started to smile a bit and laugh at a few things I saw on episode. A little while later, probably half way through the episode, I begin to start falling asleep again then as my head fell back I felt something yell at me saying, "GET UP!" I could not tell you how fast I've gotten up from the sofa and sat back up, looking left to right at who or what yelled at me to get back up when I was close to sleep again. At this point, I was seriously a little paranoid now since I didn't see anyone around the living room, but me and I assumed my brother was still asleep I didn't really care about what he was doing in our room. After I heard someone yell at me from seemingly out of nowhere, I tried to find somewhere to go in this small, rundown trailer that is my home, but I knew I wouldn't go outside and run the risk of being killed by a possible midnight killer, so I just stayed in the living room but I stayed alert if I did find something that would take me by surprise, but I didn't count on that happening at all, but I still felt pretty paranoid right now. Then there was a weird sound of what sounded like hooves walking in the hall way which was impossible and ridiculous because how would anything with hooves get in here first off. I just sat there for another minute or two looking in the direction of hallway of where the sound was coming from. I was afraid to look down the hallway by myself, but despite my best effort to just stay where I was and not move, something compelled to just go look in the hallway even I tried my best t resist the urge of going down there I couldn't resist any loner, so I just got up and slowly made my way to the hallway hoping that no one would come out scare the hell out of me. I slowly looked in and found something I least expected to be there. Instead of the normal hallway leading to my room, the bath room and Tre's room was a whole dark blue, bright void that was galaxy-like and filled with nothing, but stars. The appearance of the space immediately reminded me off Princess Luna's dream dimension or domain when she walked inside of other ponies dreams. Feeling excited and astounded with the feeling of nervousness and fear leaving my body only to be replaced with excitement and joy seeing the familiar space and ran inside cheering the further in I've got. I looked around feeling excited, amazed, alive, happy and so astounded that I was actually inside of Luna's dream domain that she took ponies. I could hardly contain myself from this over load of joy I was having. "Does... this mean Luna's here?" I asked myself quietly and turned to look silently for her, but so far I didn't see her nowhere as I continued to walk who knows where or nowhere at all since this place look pretty much like a starry, galaxy covered void in outer space but in the absence of planets. Me wandering and exploring the whole plan made feel overwhelmed with joy and hopeful thinking of seeing Princess Luna in here. Eventually after walking and walking for about what felt like to me miles and miles of void, a light shinned down from above me that was so bright, I had to cover my eyes, close them and look away to keep them protected for not even squinting would do if I did want to see who was coming from out of what might have been the brightest ball of light ever. Soon the bright, blindingly powerful light died down just enough to wear I can see the silhouette of a alicorn pony I recognized as Princess Luna and once it begin to die down more I was able to see all of the regal princess of the night much better than before. She floated down in front of me looking down at me in silence not saying anything to me as we just starred at one another not saying a word or even so much as move since I, myself, did not know what to say about this situation I'm in. I mean, Princess Luna was standing right in front of me with her eyes glued on me and never once letting her eyes trail off me just as I never took my eyes off of her. I can now tell the whole thing was most likely a dream, but this dream wasn't like any other dream I've ever had or anyone for that matter. This dream went at a easy kind of pace and wasn't skipping anything and it was making sense. The dream went at a normal pace, it felt like it was in order, but most of all above the other things it felt all so real... too real as a matter of fact, but how can that be if this was only a dream. Did I just have ponies on the mind again as I slept or was I finally able to lucid dream like I wanted. "Uh.. Lu.." I was starting to say to try and break the long silence that would soon get akward, but before I could say anything she have opened her mouth using her Canterlot voice to speak before I even had a chance. "GREETINGS CHILD."She bellowed with that loud, ear-piercing voice actually pushing me back a few feet away and making me slid a few more feet away have just given me a headache making me put my hands on my head and in my eyes in pain as i cursed under my breath at the unnecessary, loud scream. As it turns out it was a whole lot louder in person than it was on the show. I still up and groan with my head felt like it split open and my ears ringing as I looked up towards Luna with a pained look on my face. I would have thought through out the seasons, she would have gotten better control over that. "Ow..." I groaned painfully looking straight at her with a small pained moan. "My apologies." Luna said politely, but sounded cold at the same time when she said, but I didn't pay that any attention and looked back at the lunar alicorn in front of me. I was pretty impressed at what I saw because instead of her as looking like a live actioned, horse like version of herself, she kept the same appearance as she did from the body and head shape to the same animated and cartoon looking appearance it begin to feel like I was in a Pony in Real Life video except this was only just dream. "Um... Princess... Pr-Princess L-Luna." I stammered a little bit still rubbing my head while being real nervous about actually interacting with her, a pony from the show, "How'd you get in my dreams?" I asked her. Princess Luna put up her hoof to me after I was done as if to tell me to wait as she got ready to speak, "That is not very important right now." she said with a serious look on her face, but what is important is the reason why I am here and that reason is to assist you this night and have a discussion with you about the problems you are facing and having a choice to make along with it." I looked at Luna with my expression being a confused one after what she just told me. It was safe to say she was talking about the problems I was currently having with the people I just so happen to be living with, but I wasn't sure how this was going to go as well as the choice she was going to give. That actually made me a bit nervous and had me wondering if it came with some kind of bad price or dark twist. I had to be careful what I wished for after all since sometimes it can turn around and bite you, but I hoped that wasn't the situation in this case. "Um... wait.. what choice do I have to make and what... I.. what do I need to talk about?" I asked trying not to sound too nervous as I spoke. I begin to have an odd feeling she was going to do with me what she done with Sweetie Belle in the episode of Who the Sweetie Belle Tolls. I hoped she wasn't going to take me on some type of time travel or certain parts in my life to change my feelings about my family into something positive because I think she would be quite disappointed to find out that the damage have been and things with my family been destroyed and there wasn't anything anyone could do to fix it. "I can see you are having some similar 'conflicts' as a young friend of mine had with her own family before she realized her true intentions and thankfully fixed the damage before it was to late." she said, as she paced past me. I knew she might have obviously been talking about Sweetie Belle and Rarity and this was disappointing since she was doing just what I hoped she wouldn't do, "It even seem worst than what I helped solve before, and something you should over come." "Princess Luna." I begin in a low tone and tried to sound respectful, "I don't mean any disresp-" I was stopped by Luna again. "However, this... family of yours does not seem to be any good for you from what I seen from your memories and how you felt from them. They do not behave or speak to one another as loved ones should and have no respect for one another, but they are your family and they are all you could have. If you can, you must try to make peace with them before anything else." she told me calmly and I felt like I was going to get sick again from hearing that in a sentence again. They are all I got in my life well, if they are really all I can have in my life then I think I would only be better off alone only if that was true, but it wasn't. "They are not family to me... they have no respect for things that are not their own, things they don't like and don't even have respect for each other. They would rather insult, talk about each other, mainly point out one another flaws, say what the other person don't or can't do instead of anything positive. My..." I then stopped myself quickly before I could even begin the rest of that sentence then continued on with what I wanted to say now, "Tre... who calls himself my older brother." I sighed in some disgust and continued quickly before she stopped listening, "Have revealed his true colors to me a long time ago and reminded me of them of them again just recently. He wants to be so full of himself, act like he's smarter, stronger, better than anyone else around him and he's never wrong about anything, he's always so perfect, he's 'the beast' of every fucking thing but yet, he is a twenty-three year-old, grown-ass man who just became a dad nine fucking months ago, but still just want to act like a big ass, immature fucking bully and on top of that, he is selfish, rude, purposely starts shit with other people, so that there will just be shit." I was breathing heavily, my heart race was increasing out of anger and somehow fear feeling my heart hammer against my chest so hard that it almost felt like it would come bursting through my rib cage, "The worst thing of it that he just fucking get off on it, too!" T explained to her with my hate and rage only returning and growing more. The more I continued to speak and think of him despite my best efforts my best efforts not to get so angry in front of Luna like this, but what I was feeling towards him, towards all of them was too much to ignore and hold in, and to keep a straight face on. I took a quick breather to try and calm down real quick and even taking deep breaths to slow my heart rate back down in fear of collapsing right there then just looked back up at her slowly to see that she was actually taken back from my short, angry rant, but thankfully looked calm enough to still hold the remaining conversation with me for a few more minutes. She closed her eyes and looked down shaking her head a bit, then opened her eyes, lifting her head back up to look at me then asked, "And your relationship with your mother?" she asked with curiosity in her tone, but sounding sad for some reason that I'm no longer have a spark with them and I still don't understand why. "I don't want to really talk about them anymore... it's all depressing.." I responded back to her with exactly no emotion to my face. "Very well then." she said to me in her calmer voice, "You may feel how you may, and think of them as you wish to from here on out." She said walking past me looking like she was about to leave me right now which I wanted to stop in protest to, but I suddenly felt stuck like my legs wouldn't move, "Your life will begin to change soon and then there will be new choices that you must make and challenges you will have to face dead on if you hope for anything to 'progress' for the better or worse on your behalf, but think about what you are getting away from, be certain you are positive about the way you feel, and be certain you do not have any regrets because it can and will hunt you if you're not sure about the choices you've made." she then stopped, looking like she had a few serious thoughts and concerns on her mind at that minute and the expression on her face especially spoke louder than words she could use to express what on her mind, "However... the world here... the home that no longer feels like home to you is beginning to erode away, corruption in your world's leaders is spreading to the civilians of the world that only creating more chaos, suffering, prejudice and division between the... humans here, and the best solution is to this a life-changing, world-wide conflict is to control the situation and resolve it with harmony and conversion." I listend to Princess Luna carefully and saw how everything she spoke made sense, but before I could answer back to her with a reply, Princess Luna's horn begin to power up with the glow of her horn intensifying by the moment then in that very instant, there was a bright, almost blindingly light that illuminated everything in the dream realm with that bright flash of purely white light being the last thing I saw in my dream before I found myself awake on my coach after I feel a sleep watching The "Bloom and Gloom" episode of season five. Looking around groggily to make sure just about everything was fine I got up and checked the hall way seeing that it looked normal enough as it always did for the past five or six years of my life living here, there were no stars, no colorful, bright and beautiful colorful space related colors and nothing good in general, but instead just all plain and depressing as it was the day I moved into this shack. I decided that I'd just head back to the couch to watch more episodes again without falling asleep as I lay across the sofa. This only turned out to back fire on me pretty bad cause almost instantly, I started to feel even drowsier than before and my eyelids were struggling to stay open as they fluttered up and down. I knew I was getting tired, so I tried to get up and go to my room to sleep, but I started to feel too tired to even move properly. I kept trying to get up from the sofa or at least move, but no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I wanted to get up, everything from my legs to the rest of my body refused to perform the actions I tried making I wasn't even able to roll off the sofa and eventually I just decided to give up and sleep here for the night since I couldn't get up no matter what. Soon I dozed back off on the couch again, but this time for the night to ready myself for my following day of the same old, same old... or so I thought as I was unable to notice the mare shaped shadow shining through the living room curtains from the moon itself as I fell too far into my quick and instant deep slumber.