A devil and a succubus find there way to Equestria and all hell breaks loose.
Skri'jal-mevix, an oddball devil predator, and Lerisha, an abnormally cunning succubus seducer, Find their way to Equestria. Sexist shenanigans, mindless violence, hateful remarks, and sexytimes ensue. (There is a succubus involved, you can't blame me.) (Cover art is temporary until I find a more suiting picture.) (This idea has not left me alone since it first passed into my mind.)
Skri'jal-mevix was perched on one of his favorite trees in the woods of suicide. He was a devil of average build and height. A muscular yet lanky being with a hunch when upright and red scales adorning most of it's body, having a height of six feet six inches with two dark gray horns sweeping from the back of his head to the tip of his snout and a black patch of short, scraggly hair running down his back to just past his shoulders. A ridge of short back spines picked up from where his mane ended, stopping here his tail began. He was attentive to both edges of the realm of violence. He waited with patience unknown to his kind. any form of movement on the cliff to heresy, he would detect. Anything rising from fraud, he would spot. Naturally demon types would filter out by there racial home circle and rarely left. Devils hailed from violence. His well tuned hearing picked up some of the blasphemous gibberish of a heretic on the descent into violence. Turning to see his quarry, he spotted a red robed heretic. "A heretical priest, annoying fools." he said to himself while notching an arrow in his bow. he honed in on his annoying target, and let loose. The arrow struck his prey's jugular, making him fall the rest of the way down. Skri'jal smiled as the body was impaled head first on a pointy rock on the blood river's shores. The flapping of wings caught his attention next. He turned to fraud and spotted a pest. Grumbling to himself, he returned to his silent vigil. As the bothersome beast approached his perch, he spotted the message slab it was carrying. Skri'jal had a bemused look as the pest gave him the obsidian tablet. He began to read the message.
"Skri'jal-mevix, it is with great disinterest that I, as chairman of the counsel of the nine circles, bestow to you a one year transfer to the second circle. Before you leave, make sure you have every thing you need for the year, If you don't have something, you can buy it in heresy on your way up as I have generously provided you with twenty pieces of silver. and before you ask, someone up there asked for you by name and filled out the proper paperwork, so shut your mouth. Sincerely, The guy who owns your ass. This was unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable! The pest handed him the twenty pieces of silver and flew off as fast as possible. no one would want to be near him when he was angry, lest they be immolated. he dropped from his perch and made his way to the accent into heresy. Immolating the little grass in his wake and chilling the already frozen circle of treachery. Hell might as well have froze over behind him and caught fire in front of him.
The whore
Lerisha stood at the edge of lust. She was of average height for a succubus, being six feet two inches. Her hair was blond and flowed down to her shoulders with a pair of light grayish-tan horns flowing along with it. Her complexion was youthful and pale with a hint of a light tan that one who gets out a lot would have. She had requested a specific devil's presence in lust to settle a little bet. Her friends said he was twelve feet tall and could shoot fire out his eyes and lightning out his ass. She believed this to be a minor exaggeration, and he was only ten feet tall and could breath fire. She realized that since anger wasn't a very social circle, details tend to get lost in there. But still, she could get all her friends pay for the month. Plus, She convinced her boss to let him stay with her for the year of his stay. Her mind was flooded with erotic thoughts about the two of them. She was getting wet just thinking about it. Little did she realize just how wrong she was. She walked away from the descent into gluttony. She always hated that circle, so filthy and disgusting. She couldn't wait for her new fuck-buddy to arrive. She hoped with all her soul (or lack there of) that he at least wasn't like other devils if both parties were wrong. She began the long trip from the the descent into gluttony to her lair on the ascent into limbo. The end result of her bet would be an angry, (by devil standards) misogynistic, hunt-master. "Oh this is going to be a fun year!" She said as she arrived at her lair. Her first priority was making a good first impression. Lerisha went to her wardrobe and began to look though her collection of revealing nightwear, skimpy undergarments, and sleazy clothing. Picking out a skimpy bra and thong, she found a translucent pink nightgown to wear over them. After bathing and changing into the slutty attire, she began to comb her hair and polish her horns. Now she was ready to make a first impression that was sure to last. Making her way to the location her new 'friend-with-benefits' was going to be officially welcomed at, she was turning heads all the way. She arrived and met her friends. They all complemented her sultry look. even the arch-demon of lust was impressed with her new look. Since her friend had to report to the arch-demon for his temporary change of station, every one gathered to greet the one so many rumors spoke of. every one expected an untrained savage beast to climb up from the ascent into lust, instead, a grappling hook preceded a rather average looking devil. after retrieving his hook, he pounded his hand over his heart and saluted his superior. This was a definite killjoy for Lerisha, and nobody won the bet.
"Skri'jal-mevix, reporting for duty. Ma'am." Skri'jal said keeping the stiff-spined demeanor he picked up during one of his few excursions to the surface. Despite being surrounded by scantly clad women, he was able to keep himself from unleashing an infinite barrage of sexist remarks about there choice of dress (or lack there of). luckily for him, all he needed was information on his accommodations and he'd make it through the year. "So, about my accommodations." Skri'jal asked. "Yes. Lerisha has volunteered to house you for the duration of you stay." The arch-demon said and began to leave. Skri'jal's irritation was visible for a split second before he resumed his poker face. Lerisha stepped forward now that the ceremony was complete. "Well, I suppose you had a long walk and want to get a little rest, so how about I show you to your new home." she said a hint of nervousness in her voice. "You sound like you were expecting someone different." Skri'jal said. he had been expecting something like this. This was gonna be a long year for the poor devil.
<}==================== One month later in Equestria ===================={<
Celestia had a bad feeling about the vortex in front of her. For one, it was black and purple, and that was never a good sign. Second, if she listened hard enough, she could here screams that would chill the blood of the cruelest of demons. This vortex was evil, obviously. Where it went, why it was facing down, or why it was on her ceiling was anypony's guess. The room was secured by guards mostly on the fact that it's opening made a sound resembling shredding metal, two mashy spike plates grinding against each other, and rusty train wheals and breaks on rusty tracks. Needles to say, every guard in the castle came running. What ever went in came back out after two seconds. The vortex had not produced anything of it's own yet, but that did nothing to calm Celestia. she had notified her student Twilight sparkle of the anomaly an hour after it opened. Twilight arrived with her friends. "We got here as soon as we could. Did anything come out yet?" she said. "No, but something tells me that something will soon." Celestia replied. looking uneasily at the vortex on the ceiling. "Well if anything bad comes out I bet could take care of it!" Rainbow Dash said causing eye roles from her friends. "Well, what do we know about the anomaly?" Twilight asked. "Only that it appears to be one way, and we have the receiving end." Celestia said. "Well, I think I could make it two way." Twilight said. she began to explain the spell she learned.
>}==================== In Hell ===================={>
Skri'jal and Lerisha were trying to kill each other while in free fall. the details of how this happened are blurry to both sides. Lerisha had a large hole in her wing from when Skri'jal cut it when she tackled him off the cliff. as of right now she was trying to claw his face off and he was trying to stab hers, both using one hand to stop the other's attack. The two free falling demons continued their struggle for midair dominance. Skri'jal looked down and his eyes widened. Lerisha's eyes followed his and promptly widened at the sight of a vortex in their path. "OH SHIT!" They screamed simultaneously. They fell though the vortex that Twilight had cast the spell on. both demons hit the ground with a massive slam, cratering the floor beneath them, out cold.
<}==================== In Equestria ===================={<
Twilight sparkle cast the spell on the vortex. Three seconds later two simultaneous "OH SHIT" resonated through, followed by two unidentified creatures at incredible speeds. after the creatures (presumed to be sentient) nearly caved the floor in, Twilight looked at the confirmed unconscious beings. One had scaleless pale-pinkish skin, blond mane of some sort, horns, a blunt spade tail, a pair of wings (one of which was damaged), and little clothing. The other had red scales, horns, a sharp and barbed spade tail, an elongated face, lanky limbs with well defined mussels ending with razor sharp claws that could probably shred through a dragon's scales. The guards confiscating any weapons and restraining the two creatures in case they might be hostile.
Skri'jal-mevix and Lerisha regained consciousness at the same time in an infirmary. Neither demon remembering what they were fighting about and decided to leave it as water under the bridge (mostly cause neither could fight nor really were in a fighting mood). The two demons decided to to glare in opposite directions until something happened. Celestia, Luna, and the mane six entered the room and got looks from the two demons. "The fuck did they put in me? What ever it was, I'm trippin' balls." Skri'jal said as the colorful ponies stopped near his and Lerisha's beds. "Oh, that's just adorable!" Lerisha said as she got to get a good look at what Skri'jal was talking about. The ponies seemed to be surprised by the conflicting nature of these two creatures reactions. Celestia cleared her throat. "Hello, inter-dimensional travelers. I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and Princess of the sun, and this is my sister, Princess Luna, fellow co-ruler and Princess of the moon." Celestia said. "And these are the bearers of the elements of harmony." Luna said. The two demons remained silent as the Mane six introduced themselves one at a time. The ponies looked at the demons who's eyes were practically bulging out of their heads and their jaws as low as possible. "Hello? Anybody home?" asked Rainbow Dash, who was waving a hoof in the devil's face trying to get a reaction. "I am tripping some serious balls." Skri'jal said staring at the ceiling. "Is it possible to have the same exact hallucination as someone else at the exact same time?" Lerisha asked. "I'm pretty sure your not 'trippin' balls'. because last time I checked, we are real." Twilight said. "Prove it." Skri'jal said. Rainbow Dash slapped him. The devil nodded his head. "Not bad... for a gay pride mascot." Skri'jal said. "Like you could do better, ugly!" Retorted Rainbow dash. "He could, actually. Who do you think gave me this hole in my wing." Lerisha said extending her damaged wing. "Oddly enough, she threw the first punch." Skri'jal retorted. "Wait, what?" Twilight said confused by the two demons. "Yeah, we fight a lot. Who cares? I'm a hunter, she's a whore." Skri'jal said. the ponies gasped at his statement. "Wow, you've got such an exotic vocabulary." Lerisha said in a sultry tone, causing the devil to shudder. "Get me out of here! now!" Skri'jal said giving the ponies a pleading look. "Not until you answer a few questions." Twilight said. "What ever gets me as far away from her as possible." He said. "First question; What are you two?" Twilight asked. "She's a succubus, I'm a devil." "Okay, not sure what those are, I'll just assume races. Second question; Why were you fighting?" She asked. "I dunno. Neither of us really remember, or care for that matter." Skri'jal said. "Third question; What are your-" Twilight began but was cut off by Rainbow Dash. "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?" Rainbow interrupted. Skri'jal simply responded by eating her in one bite and spiting her out. She was glued to the wall by a sticky orange substance. "Eww. What is this stuff?" "Napalm. Highly flammable. Burns slowly too." Skri'jal said. "Okay, back to my original question; What are your names?" Twilight asked. "I am Skri'jal-mevix, She's Lerisha." Skri'jal said. "Fourth question; Where are you from?" Twilight asked. "Hell." Skri'jal said. "Okay, that's about all I need right now, I'll ask you more questions when you have recovered." Twilight said. "Can you get me out of this room?" Skri'jal asked. "Nope, sorry. you have to remain in the same room as her until you're released." Twilight said. "Well I didn't take anything more than a long fall, so I think I can be released." Skri'jal said. Another pony came in. "Well I see the guests are up." the new pony said "I am Medical prescription." he said. "Enough with formalities and ridiculous names, GET ME AWAY FROM HER." Skri'jal said. "All right just let me take a few scans of your bodies, and I will separate you two." The doctor said as his horn lit up. "Just make it fast." Skri'jal said. The doc cast his spell on both demons. "Interesting. Your bodies seem to have an incredible cellular reproduction rate. You should be ready for release in a few minutes." The doc said. "In that time I'd like to ask you two a question." Celestia asked. "Feuer frei." Skri'jal said. "What?" Celestia said. "German for; Fire at will." Skri'jal said "I see, well then; will you, in any way, prove to be a threat to pony-kind or the peace of Equestria?" Celestia asked. Skri'jal contemplated his options as the doctor moved his bed to another location. "I'll play by your rules... On two conditions; I get to pummel anyone who pisses me off, and no one is to stop me from hunting." Skri'jal said. Now it was Celestia's turn to contemplate her options. after a long pause, she finally spoke. "Only if you restrict your hunting to the Everfree forest." Celestia said. "Deal." Skri'jal said. "And You, Lerisha?" Celestia asked. "Nope. No problems here." Lerisha said. "I'd recommend keeping her on a tight metaphorical leash, succubi are not known for their fidelity." Skri'jal said. "It all comes with milk-makers." Lerisha said. "Case in point." Skri'jal said. "Well. You will be staying with these six until further notice once you are released." Celestia said motioning to the main six. "Very well." Skri'jal said.
Chapter 3: Trains deserve their own circle of Hell.
Skri'jal-mevix and Lerisha were released from the infirmary after two minutes. Twilight and her friends were going to stay in Canterlot because Celestia was now going to have a press conference because of the two demons. The following day, the eight ponies and two demons were in the room surrounded by reporters and the like. The reported swarmed the two demons with ridiculous questions. "What are your favorite dishes?" "Are you a male or female?" "What are your daily lives like?" "What do you do for fun?" "Why do you both have similar features if you are different races?" The reporters asked. Lerisha struggled to keep up with the questions while Skri'jal seemed to pop off answers as fast as they could ask questions. After the press conference, Skri'jal went to sleep. Lerisha asked to sleep in the same room as him. the next morning an especially grouchy Skri'jal and an unusually elated Lerisha joined the mane six at breakfast. "Why the long face?" Rainbow Dash Snickered at her own pun. "I was born with it." Skri'jal retorted. "What's got you down then?" Rainbow asked again. "The fact that she was in my room last night." Skri'jal said. "Oh please, you were sleeping on the floor." Lerisha retorted. "Point is, I don't like you." Skri'jal retorted back. The two demons glared at each other before returning to their meals. At that moment, Prince Blueblood walked in. "Auntie Celestia, what is this savage doing in my seat?" Blueblood said.
Skri'jal Responded. Blueblood was a dead motherfucker. "Now you did it." Lerisha said, moving over two seats so the flying blood wouldn't get in her food. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" Skri'jal screamed as he charged Blueblood, Who's reflexes were sadly inadequate for the WAAAGHing devil. Lerisha rolled her eyes at the ballistic devil. If there was one thing angrier than a Belligerent Engine, it was a ballistic, pissed off, WAAAGHing Skri'jal-mevix. The mane six and the princesses stared in horror as Skri'jal beat Blue blood to within an inch of his life in one very long WAAAGH. "I-I th-think I n-need a doctor." Blueblood managed to say before he passed out. Two guards carried him to the infirmary having seen this coming from a mile away.
30 minutes later
Pinkie was running her mouth while hopping around Skri'jal while Lerisha was trying and failing to get in his pants. The train Itself was probably among the top ten gayest things in existence he's seen. Rarity was complaining about the viscera in his mane, and Rainbow was bragging about her stunts and stuff. Fluttershy wasn't pissing him off because she was cowering on the other side of the train car. Applejack was pestering him about working on her farm, and Twilight was asking what he ate. "So, Where'd you get that knife?" Rainbow asked. "That is not a story you'd want to hear." Skri'jal said. "Of course I wanna hear it it's probably some totally awesome defiant last stand or something." Rainbow said. "You weren't there, you cannot even begin comprehend the scale of that massacre I went through." Skri'jal said, his eyes narrowing. every one in the car paled at this brutal revelation, even Lerisha. "W-What happened?" Fluttershy asked. "The Nazis happened." Skri'jal said. "We only won the battle by the skin of our teeth." He continued. "What are Nazis?" Twilight asked. "I'd say they were people, but after the things they did, you couldn't call them that. Can we drop this subject, it brings back bittersweet memories." Skri'jal said. "Okay. I probably don't want to know any way." Twilight said.
5 minutes later
after arriving in Ponyville, Skri'jal and the girls Began to make there way to Twilight's house. "So where are we going, again?" Skri'jal asked. "The town library." Twilight said. "do you have business there?" Lerisha asked. "No. But I live there." Twilight said. "So you're a book merchant?" Skri'jal guessed. "No, I'm a librarian." Twilight responded. "Is there any real difference?" Skri'jal retorted as they arrived. "Other than librarians only lend books temporarily, I guess not." Twilight said as she opened the door. "Spike! we're back!" Twilight yelled, calling her assistant down. "Coming!" Spike yelled back. A door opened upstairs and what appeared to Skri'jal as a purple devil hatchling started down, only to trip on a crack in the floor. "Ouch." Skri'jal said after Spike tumbled down the stairs and was subsequently buried by books. "He'll be fine." Twilight said as she levitated the books back on to the shelf. "The fuck is he?" Skri'jal said. "I'm a dragon." Spike said. "Jeez, Twilight. Your new friend is a jerk." Spike said. "I'm also easily pissed, and you don't want to know what I'm capable of." Skri'jal said with a hint of pride in his voice. Spike turned around and his rage was quickly replaced with a sense of admiration at the sight of what appeared to be another dragon. "Wow! are you a dragon?" Spike asked Skri'jal, completely oblivious to Skri'jal's succubus companion. "No, He's just a devil. A mean, ugly, and ornery devil." Lerisha said. Spike looked at her and got a nose bleed. "Uhh..." spike said as he stared at the voluptuous figure in front of him. Skri'jal picked him up by the scruff of his neck and hauled him upstairs on all fours like a wolf. "And stay up here until I say other wise." Skri'jal said in a commanding voice after placing Spike in the first bedroom he could find. Spike grumbled as Skri'jal walked away. Skri'jal glared at Twilight as he returned to the lobby. "Why didn't you tell us you had a minor here?" Skri'jal said. He wasn't about to promote this kind of behavior in anything. "He's already had the talk, I didn't think it would be a problem." Twilight said. "It's a problem because she..." Skri'jal said jerking his thumb at Lerisha "... is a nymphomaniac. She doesn't care if they're under-age, as long as they have a dick and they're hard. Why do you think I said to keep her on a tight metaphorical leash?" Skri'jal said. Then the rest of the Mane six started defending Twilight for hours. "Well, as much as I'd love to see this escalate, I think we should start figuring out where we're sleeping." Lerisha said. "I'll stay here, you six can decide who gets stuck with her." Skri'jal said. "Well... Ah'v got a brother An' Pinkie lives with her bosses." Applejack said. "Well I don't want her around Sweetie Belle." Rarity said. "Well I'm already here. So that rules out Twilight." Skri'jal said. "Actually, I could watch Lerisha and you could go with one of the girls," Twilight said. "You know, that actually sounds like a good idea... But you have spike here and he's a minor." Skri'jal said. "Oh come on. I'm not that shameless." Lerisha said. "And I should take your word for it?" Skri'jal said. "If I even think they're doing it, I'll subject her to a few of the more painful tests I have in my basement." Twilight said. "Fine. Not like it'll ever happen anyway." Lerisha said. "Than I'll stay with Applejack. I'm considering taking her up on that job offer." Skri'jal said "WHAT? YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH HER? BUT... I'M LIKE TWENTY PERCENT COOLER!" Rainbow hollered. "Did you take on Imperial Japanese zeros over the pacific ocean? I thought not." Skri'jal said. "What?" Twilight asked. "The Imperial Japan was one of Nazi Germany's Allies during world war two, the same war as D-day." Skri'jal said "Oh. I probably don't want to know the rest." Twilight said. Skri'jal drew his combat knife that he named blood fang and read the scripture on the sides. "Numquam obliviscar. Numquam cedere." Skri'jal said. "What?" Rarity asked. "Never forget. Never surrender." Skri'jal said. "We should go Applejack." He said. "Alright." She said. And at that, Every one headed for there respective homes.
Applejack had arrived with Skri'jal-mevix and Introduced him to her family. "So ya wanna stay fer dinner?" Applebloom asked "No thanks." Skri'jal said. "Ah come now, you could use some meat on them bones." Granny smith said. "You probably wouldn't like my diet." Skri'jal said. "Why? somethin' expensive?" Applejack asked. "I wouldn't think so, It's just outlandish for you." Skri'jal said. "Now, I've got to go to sleep, I'll be in the barn if you need me." He said. "We've got a extra bed you could stay in. You could sleep there." Applejack said. "No thanks, I'm used to worse than barn floors" Skri'jal said as he left. As he walked to the barn, he whistled a catchy tune.
Skri'jal awoke the following morning and began his first hunt in Equestria. After an hour of wandering in the forest, he had bagged a manticore, two timberwolves, and a hydra. He made his way back to the barn, not unaware of the dark miasma watching him. He arrived at the barn a few minutes before Applejack. "There's someone watching me..." Skri'jal began without turning. "I can tell." He said turning to look at the corner the miasma was trying to exit from. The miasma left and Skri'jal was alone. The barn door opened to reveal Applejack. "Well Howdy, Skri. Ah see you're up early." Applejack said. "It's Skri'jal, not Skri." Skri'jal said. "Alrighty then. Ya ready for your first day?" Applejack asked. "Nothing hard about picking apples." Skri'jal said. "Well I wanna test your skills, first." Applejack said. "Very well." Skri'jal said, and the two left the barn. The two made their way through the orchard to a dead tree. "So let me guess, You want me to strike the tree as hard as I can." Skri'jal said "Pretty much." Applejack said. Skri'jal backed up and crouched, picking up some leaves to test wind strength and direction. after a few seconds He got on all fours and charged like an angry, 'roid raging bull. He collided headfirst with the tree, toppling it. "Darn. That's a sturdy skull ya got." Applejack said "Yeah, I've hit my head on worse." Skri'jal said recalling in his mind the time he flipped a German panzer in much the same way. "Well, Guess I'll give ya the rest of the month off. Apple buckin' season don't start til next month." Applejack said. "Testing your employee's skills a month in advance. Not a bad idea." Skri'jal commented. "So What's Hell like?" Applejack asked, trying to start a conversation. "Not the best existence, but I suppose it could be worse." Skri'jal said. "Why's that?" Applejack asked. "It's one of those things. It just is, whether you accept it or you don't doesn't matter." Skri'jal said. Applejack sensed he was just toying with her, subtly hinting a something. It was like he was trying to see how long it would take her to connect the dots to something, but he was far from lying. "Not much of a talker are ya?" She said. "Not really. I was the runt of the litter. You try being the last at everything when you have fifty three siblings and tell me you'd be talkative." Skri'jal said. "Darn, I can't even begin to imagine life like that." Applejack said. An awkward silence descended. "I wonder how Twilight's putting up with Lerisha." Skri'jal said. "Well ya got the day off, don't let me keep ya." Applejack said. "See ya." Skri'jal said and scampered off. Skri'jal arrived at the library and walked in. "Twilight, you in here?" Skri'jal said. "Coming."Twilight said as she came downstairs. "Hi, Skri'jal. What are you doing here?" She asked. "Making sure Lerisha hasn't fucked every man in town in one night." Skri'jal responded. "Well she's not even awake. I checked a minute ago." Twilight said. At that moment Lerisha opened the door and saw Skri'jal. "Well, well. Just couldn't stay away from my curves could you?" Lerisha teased. "Actually, I was making sure you didn't give the whole town one STD or another." Skri'jal said "And honestly, I think being near you is making my brain tumor grow." He continued. "I could remove the tumor if you want." Twilight said. "No thanks, I've got a while before I need it removed. Plus, it acts like a cushion when I hit my head." Skri'jal said. "How did you even get a tumor?" Twilight asked. "A mixture of being surrounded by idiots, flipping a tank with my head, and being near her." Skri'jal said. "How did you even flip a tank with your head?" Lerisha asked. "I hit it hard and fast enough." Skri'jal replied. "Well would you look at the time. I'm gonna sleep the rest of the day." He continued. "Okay, see you tomorrow." Twilight said as Skri'jal left. "What's his problem?" Lerisha asked. "I don't know. Maybe it's just a cultural thing for devils." Twilight said. "No, I've seen a few devils. Usually they just beat people to death while screaming various vulgarities. And usually they can't use a bow to save their lives." Lerisha said. "Are they that empty minded?" Twilight asked. "No there's plenty of things in their heads. It's just all different ways to kill things." Lerisha said. "Why would they do that?" Twilight asked in horror. "That's just what happens when you give an angry, fire spiting, ape-lizard-thing a rock." Lerisha said. "Wait, are devils apes? I thought they were reptilian!" Twilight said. "No, they're lizards. Its just that they have a lot of ape-like traits." Lerisha said "I'll have to study Skri'jal's anatomy soon." Twilight said. Meanwhile, Skri'jal made his way to the barn. "Who ever you are, Stop following me." Skri'jal said to the miasma, which sank into the ground. "That thing's starting to piss me off." He continued. Skri'jal went to sleep on the barn floor, just as he had the night before. Tomorrow was probably going to be spent cleaning up after Lerisha's screw-ups.
Skri'jal-Mevix sat in his nice, cozy cellar while he waited for something interesting to happen. At first, he thought this colorful world would be the death of him. However, he decided that this was a nice change from hell, except he had to hunt for his favorite food and prepare it himself. This pissed him off, but he was flexible. Plus, working on the farm gave him some time to think about things, like how he was going to get back home. Sure, Lerisha didn't want to leave, but Skri'jal had an actual job down in hell, and who knows what would happen if an idiot took it. Probably the collapse of any and all structure in that damned circle of hell. Skri'jal smiled as he thought of that happening. However, he didn't exactly want to go back down there, on account of everyone but him being an idiot. Caught between conflicting emotions, Skri'jal decided to just stick with whatever came his way. As he concluded his thought session, Applejack came into the cellar, looking quite happy, which made Skri'jal a little sick inside. In his experience, if they were happy, he was about to suffer. Nonetheless, he managed a weak smile, and pretended to give a shit. "Hey, Applejack, What'cha doin', other than invading my personal space?" Skri'jal asked sarcastically. "Well, aren't you just a little ball of sunshine today." Replied Applejack, who was still smiling. "for yer information, Me an' the others decided to go on a little vacation, and we think you an' yer friend should come with!" She finished. Skri'jal knew he wasn't going to like the answer, as anywhere with Lerisha was a bad place to be, but he asked anyway, just to humor Applejack. "Where to, If I dare ask?" asked Skri'jal sarcastically. "Why, to the Beach, of course!" Replied Applejack excitedly. Skri'jal, however, was far from excited. As soon as those words left Applejack's mouth, he froze up, and his normally slit pupils dilated to near-perfect circles, and he just stood there, caught in a thousand-yard stare. "Uh, Skri? Hello? You okay?" asked Applejack as she waved her hoof in front of his face in an effort to snap him out of whatever he was in. "I think we need to see Twi 'bout this..." Said Applejack nervously as she dragged a petrified Skri'jal to the Ponyville Library.
Applejack arrived at Twilight's library about an hour aft Skri'jal started his flashback. "Twi? I think we got a problem." Applejack hollered. "One second." Twilight came downstairs to see Skri'jal with a thousand-yard stare. "What happened?" Twilight asked? "I just told him we're goin' to the beach. Now he's starrin' off into space or somthin'" Applejack said. Lerisha came up at that moment with three suitcases. "What happened to him?" Lerisha asked. "I don't know, He seems incapable of responding to anything in this state." Twilight said. "I think I can fix him." Lerisha said. She leaned in close to his ear. "Whisky Tango Foxtrot." She whispered. He relaxed and snapped out of his stare. "What the fuck happened? Why am I in the library?" Skri'jal said. "You had one of your episodes." Lerisha explained. "Oh." Skri'jal said. "How often do you have these 'episodes'?" Twilight asked. "As often as they're triggered. Usually by certain words." Skri'jal explained. "What words trigger one of your episodes?" Twilight asked. "Beach, Uphill, Machine gun, Overlord, and D." Skri'jal said. "Whats a gun?" Twilight Inquired. "A tool of war. Not something I want to explain." Skri'jal answered. "Oh." Twilight said. "So, When we heading out?" Lerisha asked. "When the other girls get here." Twilight said. "I think I stay here. I'm not to keen on going to the beach, especially with her." Skri'jal said Jerking his thumb at Lerisha "No, you'll go with us. I don't think half the town needs to be put in the hospital for looking at you the wrong way." Twilight said bluntly. "Fine. Let me grab a few things first." Skri'jal said. Skri'jal returned to the cellar to grab a few more olive green canvas suits. Throwing them in a sage green canvas duffle bag. He looked over a few medals he got for the shit he pulled during Operation Overlord. Placing the medals in a pocket in his bag, he made his way over to Twilight's pad. Skri'jal entered the library lobby and found the elements, The 'Cutie Mark Crusaders', and Spike, all waiting to go. "What's in the bag, Skri?" Scootaloo asked. Skri'jal gave her a look that said: 'I'm going to punt you into the sun if you call me that again.' "It's Skri'jal, not Skri. Call me Skri again, and I will punt you into the sun." Skri'jal said angrily. "As for your question, just a few spare jumpsuits. Now let's get this over with." He continued.
Skri'jal- Mevix boarded the train in a sour mood. A mood so sour, in fact, it caused the air around him to shimmer with the intense heat of his anger. When he and Lerisha were finally on board, The mane six had taken the remaining empty seats, forcing him to sit with Lerisha. Ultimately, That made him flat- out pissed. by now, the air around him was ready to catch fire, made worse by Lerisha's commentary: "Oh, Skri'jal, it's sooo hot... mind if I undress a little?" She said seductively, moving her fingers around the shoulder straps of her skimpy top, Which infuriated Skri'jal to no end. "Succubus, if that top comes off, your head's going with it." Skri'jal said sternly, pointing a finger at Lerisha. "Aww, but it's so hot around you... I think I'll just... Adjust it a little.." Continued Lerisha, beginning to undo her already- loose top. Skri'jal became furious, causing the seat to melt a little. "Don't fuck with me, succubus! I will fucking end you!" demanded Skri'jal, his voice becoming more demonic and threatening as his blood pressure rose. Lerisha just giggled playfully. "Aww, you get so cute when you're mad... and sooo incredibly hot..." she said, casting a seductive glance at Skri'jal while she reached for his groin. Skri'jal growled as demonicly as he could at the offending appendage. "If that hand comes any closer to me, Lerisha, I swear to whatever deity that will listen that I will cut it off and shove it so far up your ass, you'll be shitting nail polish for a week. Clear?" said Skri'jal threateningly. Lerisha humphed. "You're no fun, you know that?" Whined Lerisha, crossing her arms and looking rather annoyed. "It's not my job to be fun, Lerisha. If it were, I'd probably kill myself." Replied Skri'jal. "You would..." Complained Lerisha as the train drove on. Many agonizing, innuendo-filled hours later, the train finally stopped at their destination: The beach. Immediately, Skri'jal began to sweat as terrifying memories flooded his head: Friends getting torn to torn to piles of gore by machine guns, bodies littering the sand, their blood staining the ocean and their agonized cries polluting the air. He began to hyperventilate as the memories came, but he calmed himself. That was a long time ago, in another world. He could survive this, he just had to relax. Finally, everyone set up their beach towels and parasols, then headed off to do their own thing: Twilight read a book, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were playing volleyball, The CMC and Pinkie Pie were playing in the water, Fluttershy was looking at some hermit crabs, Rarity was sunbathing, Lerisha was tanning, and Skri'jal was sitting on a towel, trembling and trying not to throw up from sheer terror. "C'mon, Skri'jal, pull yourself together. If Lerisha sees you like this, you'll never hear the end of it..." Said Skri'jal to himself. "Just chill out and stop remembering that day, and you'll be fine. Just... gotta... relax..." Skri'jal was taking his own advice, and had begun to lie down on his Towel, trying his hardest to relax, until a volleyball landed next to him. With a yelp, Skri'jal shot under his towel, shaking violently. When he peeked out, he saw Rainbow Dash and Applejack looking at his spot. "Hey, you gonna stop acting weird and pass the ball?" Called Rainbow Dash. Shaking his head, Skri'jal picked up the ball, then looked at it, then at the two ponies that wanted it. With a grunt, Skri'jal threw the ball upwards, then hit it with his tail with such force, it flew over Rainbow and A.J's heads, hitting Pinkie pie in the head and knocking her into the water. Stunned, the two mares stared at him, jaws dropped, then looked at each other, then proceeded to argue about who got him on their team next round. Wanting nothing to do with their little game, he walked somewhere else, away from the two squabbling mares, who were now locked in physical combat over him. Unfortunately, He walked by Lerisha along the way. Well, more like tripped over and landed on top of her. When he snapped back into reality, he realized where his hands landed whe he put them out to break his fall, and he suddenly realized why his landing was so soft. (he landed on her boobs) "Skri'jal, I always knew you wanted me, but isn't this place a little public?" she asked in a sultry tone. Immediately, Skri'jal jumped off of her, and was blushing furiously, his whole face turning from red to crimson in seconds. "Aw, come on, Skri, I was beginning to think you learned how to be fun!" Lerisha complained playfully. "Do not mock me, Succubus!" Demanded Skri'jal, who was still very red-faced. "I merely tripped over your lazy carcass was all!" He stammered, dusting himself off before trying to walk away. However, before he could, Lerisha grabbed his tail and yanked him down. As he hit the ground with a great "Oof!", Lerisha wrapped her arms tightly around his short-yet-serpentine neck, pressing her breasts against his chest, and pressing her face to the side of his head, then whispering: "You're mine now, devil." As Skri'jal struggled weakly, he began to sweat and protest. "Release me, wench! This is a clear violation of our agreement of... Erk!" Skri'jal was interrupted by a sudden grab to his groin, causing him to sit straight. Lerisha only giggled. "keep struggling, Skri. It only makes this more fun." Whispered Lerisha. However, Skri'jal stopped struggling, saying: "Hey, here comes a cop." He lied of course, but Lerisha's reaction was desired. "Eep! Where?!" Cried Lerisha, releasing Skri'jal and sitting upright, looking around frantically. With his window of escape open, Skri'jal leaped out of Lerisha's reach like a cat, then took off like some kind of evil lizard, scurrying fast as a bullet from the confused and frustrated rapist behind him. "This isn't over, Skri'jal!" Cried Lerisha, shaking her fist at the retreating devil. However, the day continued much like normal, except Skri'jal was hiding in a palm tree. Soon, it was time to see the beach house Rarity rented, and they went to the resort to check it out.
"Skri'jal where are you?" Twilight called looking for the scarred devil. "Up here." Skri'jal-mevix called back. Twilight looked up into the palm tree and saw him. She wondered how she missed a giant red lizard in a tree. "What are you doing up there?" Twilight asked "Hiding from Lerisha. She tried to rape me earlier." Said Skri'jal. "Some how, I'm not surprised." Twilight said flatly. "Well get down here. We're going to Rarity's beach house." She continued. "Alright. Give me a second." Skri'jal said. He dropped down and face-planted in the sand. "Ow." He said.
later
Skri'jal and his friends arrived a the beach house rarity rented for their stay. They entered the building and gawked at the magnificent architecture. "Wow. You must have a lot of money to afford this." Skri'jal said with a hint of amusement. "Well please pick out your rooms, darlings. I've rented the whole place for our stay." Rarity said. The party scattered leaving Skri'jal alone with Lerisha. Skri'jal paled as Lerisha licked her lips hungrily. "WAIT FOR ME!" Skri'jal yelled as her ran after the others in a desprate bid to get away from the horny succubus next to him. "I'll wait, Skri. You can't stay away from me forever." Lerisha said chillingly to no one. Meanwhile Skri'jal Inspected each room until he found one with a balcony. He declared it his and threw his bag on the floor. He climbed into bed, closed his eyes, and rolled over. He opened his eyes a second later and found Lerisha in his bed. Skri'jal threw her out the door and locked it. "And stay out!" Skri'jal called though the door. "Ugh. What made me think that was a good idea." Lerisha asked herself. The door unlocked and opened. she look just in time to see her luggage tossed out of Skri'jal's room. He promptly closed and locked his door. Lerisha picked up her discarded luggage, and took the empty room right next to his. "Well there's always tomorrow." She said as she fell asleep.
The following morning
Skri'jal awoke before the sun was up and made his way to the bathroom. He began studying a few old texts he picked up at Twilight's place before they left. One that particularly had his interest was based around Pyromancy. Being a devil, he was always interested in new ways to make the kill. He couldn't use magic, but he could try to learn. After all, several people down in hell used learned to use magic without being born with it. He began to meditate and after a few minutes, he felt something. He tried as hard as he could to mentally pull on the string of mana. After a few more minutes he snapped the tube of mana and absorbed as much as he could. once he gathered enough of the powerful energy, he began to channel it into his hand while imagining fire. He felt the heat in his hand. Skri'jal opened his eyes and flame in the palm of his hand. A wolfish grin crossed Skri'jal's features. Imagining the fire was a war hammer, The flame responded perfectly. extinguishing the hammer he decided to call Pyromaul, he looked up the stairs to see the others standing there, gawking as he made fire dance to his tune like a marionette. "Um. How long were you standing there?" Skri'jal asked. "What was that? I never seen magic like that before!" Twilight asked in excitement at the concept of foreign magic from the mysterious plane called hell. "I don't know. I've never really used magic before." He said. "I've seen a lot of magic in my time in hell. I've never seen magic like that." Lerisha said. "I guess I just invented a new type of magic." Skri'jal said. "I call it Pyromanipulation" Said Skri'jal. "How did you even figure out how to create a magic flame if you never used magic before?" Twilight asked. "I borrowed a book on Pyromancy and meditated until I felt what I thought was a mana stream and cracked it open. After that I just imagined fire then willed it into the form of a hammer." Skri'jal said. "I've got to write this discovery down!" Twilight said. "Scientist's code. If I discovered it, I should be the one to write it down." Skri'jal said. "Oh, sorry." Twilight said. "Here." She continued as she quickly grabbed a blank journal and a quill and gave it to Skri'jal. Skri'jal grabbed the book and pen and wrote a brief introduction to the new sub-field in the first few pages. "Well if we're done gawking at this fascinating discovery, I'm famished." Rarity said. "Eh, I feel like I could eat something." Skri'jal said. The group left for breakfast.
After the group got a bit to eat (and Lerisha flirted with the waiter), the group went to the beach and played or sunbathed. Skri'jal-mevix placed a towel out, curled up on it and began to nap. Lerisha walked over to a nice sunny spot and rolled out her towel a few feet away. Skri'jal opened one eye. "Lerisha?" Skri'jal asked. "Yes?" Lerisha said sultrily. "Your're in my personal space. Go away." Said Skri'jal "Oh, come on. Why you gotta ruin all the fun?" Lerisha pouted playfully. "Why are you such a god damn flirt?" Skri'jal retorted with a hint of hatred. "One day you'll take that stick out of your ass." Lerisha said. "Then you'd just shove it up yours." Skri'jal replied. "If that's what turns you on." Lerisha shot back, getting a hateful glare from Skri'jal. After the brief exchange of words, Lerisha moved to another sunny spot. Skri'jal returned to his nap but was rudely awoken by Spike. "Hey, Skri'jal?" Spike asked. "What do you want, Hatchling." Skri'jal said with obvious annoyance. "Oh, Uh. You know things about picking up girls, right?" Spike asked nervously. "No. I know fifty five different ways to kill a man with his own spine, but absolutely nothing about picking up girls. Go find someone else to pester about the subject." Skri'jal said. "Okay. You don't have to be so mean about it." Spike said, then he walked away. "Hatchlings. Always finding some way to pester you." Skri'jal said to himself. Then he returned to his nap. roughly an hour passed before his stomach growled. He got up, walked over to a palm tree, kicked it, and ate a coconut. He resumed his nap. After another day of fun in the sun the group returned to the beach house. Skri'jal went to his room and locked the door behind himself. he sat on the bed for a few minutes, the reached into his shirt and pulled out his dog tags. He looked at the metal tags and recalled all his time spent fighting the war. Then he felt the presence of the miasma that would pester him occasionally when he was alone. He looked over to the balcony door and saw the miasma slip out of sight. He glared at the edge of the balcony for a moment then he shoved his dog tags in his shirt and fell asleep grumbling. Skri'jal was starting to hate this week more and more. The next day proceeded as the previous; Wake before the sun came up, read til sun up, get breakfast, head to the beach. This time though, the beach lasted til lunch time before the group got lunch then did some sight seeing in town. Twilight rambled on about the history of every building in town from the tourist brochure. Skri'jal long tuned these rants out and simply followed the group. Eventually Lerisha came up to Skri'jal "This is boring. Wanna head back to the beach house?" Lerisha asked Skri'jal. "You know I'm just gonna go to sleep, right?" Said Skri'jal. "Right now, anything's better than this." Lerisha said. "Alright." Skri'jal said. Then the two demons walked back to the beach house. "You know, We could have a little fun when we get back." Lerisha said as they walked To the beach house. "I said I was going to sleep. Did you think I was kidding?" Skri'jal retorted. The demon pair walked in silence after that. As they returned, Skri'jal went strait to bed, leaving Lerisha alone. "Maybe I should go hunting with him when we get home. Then he'll have a hard time keeping himself away from me." Lerisha said to herself. She was going to get into his pants one way or another. Skri'jal sat on his bed and continued to inspect his dog tags. memories of some the people he fought beside coming to mind. That war gave him a reason to flay the skin of Nazis, and an irrationals fear of beaches. Once again the miasma came. "If you want something, say it." Skri'jal told the miasma. Instead, it disappeared. "Typical." He said and then he went to sleep. He did not want to wake up tomorrow, or any time this week, for that matter. But still, he had to. He didn't really have much of a choice, after all. Meanwhile the others came back and found Lerisha In the foyer. After a brief explanation that she and Skri'jal had gone back there because they were bored, she went to her room, as did the others. Lerisha decided to go and see Skri'jal. She Used her balcony to get to his. She looked into his room and saw him sleeping. She thought about fucking him in his sleep, but decided against it on account of what would most likely happen if he woke up. With that thought in mind, she left.
Skri'jal awoke with a start for no reason, but he suspected those fucking annoying ponies had something to do with it. looking outside, he saw them trying to move the luggage, but they were failing miserably. So Skri'jal walked over, dragged it all back to the train, and got on a seat. For all intents and purposes, he was just glad the trip was over. Then, Lerisha sat next to him, obviously. "Heeey!" Said Lerisha cheerfully to Skri'jal, who was not in the mood for anyone's shit, especially not hers. "Lerisha, please go piss someone else off. I just woke up, and my self restraint is at it's minimum." Lerisha humphed. "You'll slip one day, devil. And I'm going to laugh the whole time." Skri'jal gave Lerisha an odd look in response. "You're a fucking sadist, you know that?" Said Skri'jal with a worried expression. "Thank you!" Said Lerisha. "Lerisha, Why won't you just fuck one of the stallions around here? It'd save us both a lot of time and pain." Said Skri'jal. "Aww, but I already got them all. I've just got one left, though!" Skri'jal was horrified and amazed at the same time. Two weeks, and the succubus has fucked and sucked every male in a 300-mile vicinity but one. "I don't want to know." Said Skri'jal simply. "Know what, Skri?" Lerisha asked innocently. Skri'jal facepalmed. "You're going to make me ask, aren't you?" He asked exasperatedly. "Depends on the question, Skri-wee." She said simply, seduction dripping off every word. Confound these pet names! "Guh, fine. Who's... The last poor, er... Lucky... guy this time?" He asked slowly. Lerisha laughed sweetly, putting her arm jokingly around Skri'jal, who looked at it with ever-so-slight disgust. "Simple, my dear skri-wee..." She stopped to suddenly haul herself on top of the devil, utterly shocking him as she put her mouth to his ear. "The last one... Is you, Skri-wee." She said huskily. "On a TRAIN!?!?!? Have you no shame, succubus!?!? There are children here!!!" Indeed, everyone in the car was now looking at them, expressions ranging from horrified to slightly turned on. "Oh, please, Skri. You wouldn't care about publicity if you were killing something." Said Lerisha. "Not the point! Get off me, she-beast!!!" Skri'jal struggled, but his arms were pinned. "Lerisha, people are watching, you whore!" Shouted Skri'jal. By now, Twilight was covering Spike's eyes in a desperate bid to preserve his innocence. Lerisha just laughed some more. "I told you, Skri... You'd slip up sometime, and I'd just laugh. Now, keep struggling... It feels so much better that way..." Moaned Lerisha. Skri'jal struggled harder, despite her reactions, desperately trying to break free before she gave him something he didn't want. Finally, the train stopped, and Most of the passengers in the car hurried off as fast as they could, except for the weirdos who were enjoying this. Finally, after a brief struggle, Skri'jal managed to free his hand, grabbed Lerisha's right breast, and squeezed, using his claws. Lerisha moaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure, but ultimately released him. As Skri'jal ran off the train, he shouted for the whole world to hear: "Ha! Eat it, whore! My virginity is secured once again!!!" He then ran off cheering, ignoring the looks he was getting from passerby.
later
Skri'jal smiled as he entered the cellar. The past two weeks had only given him more reasons to hate/fear the beach. But, now he was back in the cellar, the one place Lerisha couldn't rape him. "Home, sweet home." Skri'jal said. He then tossed his bag in a corner. After he finished unpacking, Applejack walked in. "You want something?" Skri'jal asked. "I's just makin' sure you unpacked. Apple buckin' season's tomorrow." Applejack said. "All ready done. Just make sure Lerisha stays away from me. I've got enough to do without her trying to rape me every five minutes." Skri'jal replied. "Can do, Pardner. See ya tomorrow." Applejack said. With that, she left. Skri'jal knew Lerisha Would try to fuck him to night and so he barred the cellar door before going to bed.
Chapter 6: leave the hunting to the professionals.
Lerisha Knocked on Skri'jal's door at three in the morning. Skri'jal groaned as she knocked again. He threw on a clean uniform and unbarred the door. He opened the door and saw Lerisha standing there. "No." He said before she could even say anything and slammed the door closed. "You don't even know what I was going to say." Lerisha said "I know you well enough to know what you were about to say." Skri'jal said from the other side of the door. "No you don't." Lerisha retorted. "You woke me up an hour early. I think I have a pretty damn good idea why." Skri'jal said. "I was going to ask if I could go hunting with you." Lerisha Replied. "You don't even have a bow, a crossbow, or a gun." Skri'jal retorted. "Don't you have a spare bow?" Lerisha asked. "No. I have an old handgun I pried from the cold, dead hands of an enemy officer, but handguns are terrible hunting tools." Skri'jal said. "Can I use that?" Lerisha asked. "Your grave." Skri'jal said. He opened the door and handed her an Astra model 900 from his pocket. "Thanks." Lerisha said. "You must be an absolute retard to think that's going to cut it." Skri'jal said. "Also, we going big game hunting." Skri'jal informed as he went to grab his bow and quiver. "Well I'll bet I could bag more game than you." Lerisha said snidely. "I'm not taking your bet because we both know I'm going to win." Skri'jal said "You'll be surprised." Lerisha retorted. "I'll bet I have to save you from a timber wolf." Skri'jal countered. "Alright. If I can bag more game, we fuck. If you have to save me, We don't fuck. Deal?" Lerisha said offering her hand to shake. "Challenge accepted." Skri'jal said Shaking her hand to seal the deal. "This will be sooo satisfying." Lerisha said. "Time's infinite. Keep dreaming." Skri'jal retorted as they set off.
Two minutes later
Lerisha and Skri'jal arrived at the edge of the Everfree forest. Skri'jal notched an arrow in his bow without drawing it fully. "Remember, If I have to save your worthless hide, It won't matter how much game you bag." Skri'jal said. "Right." Lerisha said. The duo set off into the forest and began the hunt. Hours passed, and Skri'jal bagged a hydra, a manticore and four cockatrices in a few minutes. Lerisha failed to bag four deer and a chimera. "This sucks." Lerisha said as yet another twig snapped underfoot. This time sending a cockatrice running. she took the shot and killed the damn bird. "Finally! something!" She yelled alerting some timber wolves to her location. The beasts growled and emerged from the bushes, causing Lerisha to back away. "Shit." Lerisha said. Suddenly, The wolves looked terrified, then ran off, whimpering. "Ha! That's right you mutts, run!" Lerisha shouted after it. Suddenly, she heard a low, demonic growling behind her, too low to be Skri'jal. Turning around slowly, she found the source of the growling: A giant, rotting, foul-smelling corpse-demon, unlike anything she'd seen in hell. It looked vaguely humanoid, but was a ten-foot pile of stitched- together corpses, and it smelled really, really bad. In the face of such adversity, Lerisha did the one thing she could do: She ran, screaming, and the rotting behemoth chased her, picking up trees and throwing them at the fleeing succubus. Finally, Lerisha ran smack dab into Skri'jal as he was about to cleanly bag his tenth manticore, which ran off after the arrow missed. "Graargh!!! What's chasing you this time, Lerisha? A rabbit?" He asked angrily. Lerisha just kept stuttering about a demon and it smelling terrible, then an ear-splitting roar sounded from the trees, and the demon crashed through again. "Larisha, what the fuck did you summon?!" Demanded Skri'jal, as he readied his knife. "I don't know where that thing came from, I swear! Just kill it already, Please!!!" Bawled Lerisha as she cowered behind Skri'jal. Without hesitation, Skri'jal lunged at the rotting monster, digging his claws into its head to stop himself, then proceeded to stab the creature in its back, with little effect. Finally, the thing roared, then grabbed the devil and threw him into a tree, and stomped over there to finish him. However, Skri'jal quickly got up, and rushed the demon again, cutting and jumping on and around the monster and avoiding its blows like a jedi or something, then clung to the rotmonger's back, plunging his knife into the back of its head and forcing downward, cutting the demon's back open like a huge, festering sausage. As the behemoth's guts spilled out of its back, it uttered one last guttural roar, before finally dying, hopefully for good. Skri'jal stood there, panting, while Lerisha got up and poked the thing quizzically. "Lerisha, care to explain what the fuck that was?" asked Skri'jal irritably. "I-I don't know! It just started chasing me! I know I'm irresistible, but even I have standards!" Lerisha cried. "None that I know of..." muttered Skri'jal as he searched the dead monstrosity. Finally, he found what looked like an obsidian heart, but with spider legs instead of arteries. "Eurgh, what is that?" Asked Lerisha. "I have no idea, but it looks pretty valuable..." answered Skri'jal. As Lerisha looked at, she suddenly snatched it from Skri'jal, to his annoyance. "Yeah... I could make a pretty penny off of this... Maybe buy myself something nice with it!" She said, leering slightly. "Whatever, as long as it makes you happy. I'm just glad I don't have to see another one of... whatever that is... ever again." Skri'jal said tiredly, casting a wary glance at the rotten dead thing behind him. "I hope we do find more! If this is worth as much as I think it is, I could retire early!" Lerisha said excitedly. Skri'jal sighed as she continued the list of things she assumed this strange artifact could buy her, like power, property, and sex slaves. Finally, they reached the town, and Skri'jal stopped Lerisha before she could sell it, in case it was more important than as a bauble. "Hold yer D-cups, sweetheart, let's get that thing appraised first, just so we can get our full pay for it." He said. Lerisha pondered this, then smiled. "Great idea, Skri-wee! But who do we see for this kind of thing? looks a bit too arcane for most people here..." She pondered. Skri'jal thought of this for a while, then replied: "Twilight. She's the librarian, she has to have heard of it." "Excellent work Skri, I could just kiss you!" Exclaimed Lerisha. "please don't." Said Skri'jal sternly as they walked out of the forest, toward Ponyville.
Chapter 7: A weapon, fit for an Archdemon... and given to Lerisha. What a waste.
The two demons sat in Twilight's library as she stared at the strange obsidian heart, completely baffled as to what it was. "And you two said you found this thing on a monster in the woods?" Twilight asked suspiciously. "I don't believe I stuttered, pony. Just tell us what it is and how much it's worth so Lerisha can stop pestering me." Skri'jal replied grumpily. Twilight turned to the artifact in question, then to the demons. "Well, it certainly is rare, but I don't know anypony who'd buy it..." Said Twilight nervously. "Why not? You just said that it was rare, so shouldn't that mean valuable, too?" Asked Lerisha dejectedly. "Rare doesn't mean valuable, Lerisha. Funnel-Web spiders are rare, but no one would pay money for one unless they wanted to die." Retorted Skri'jal. Lerisha huffed, giving a disappointed look at Twilight and Skri'jal. "However..." Began Twilight, causing Lerisha to shoot upright, looking quite hopeful. "Dark Hearts like this one do make powerful reagents. If you were to find a good enough smith, you could make a pretty powerful enchanted weapon with it." Twilight finished, and Skri'jal smiled. "A better weapon, huh? I like the sound of that." He said. "Yes, A great smithy would do, but the only one I know who could forge such a weapon lives in Canterlot Castle." Twilight replied. Lerisha, however, looked quite content with this. Then she thanked Twilight, and the two demons left to find the smithy. When they reached canterlot, They were halted by two guards. "Sorry, none are allowed in the smithy." One said. "Why not?" Asked Skri'jal. "Because, he-" The guard was interrupted by a grizzled, old stallion, wearing an apron. "Ah, let 'em in. It's not like I'm doing anything." Said the pony. "Eh, yes sir!" Said the guards, and they stepped to the side, admitting entrance to the smithy. The two demons walked into the forge, and found it to be incredibly hot. Big surprise. Lerisha, however, was having none of it. "Ugh, It's too hot." She whined. "It's a smithy, Lerisha. What'd you expect, air conditioning and cold martinis?" Sighed Skri'jal, who was unaffected by the heat. "She's got a point, lad. This here's the hottest forge in the land, where the best armor and weapons are made. In fact, I'm surprised you aren't sweating storm clouds yourself, lad. You used to the heat?" The Blacksmith inquired. "I suppose. Everyone says hell is a fiery pit, and I'm living proof of that." Skri'jal explained. "I see, I'll have ta give this "Hell" place a visit sometime. Now, what can an old Blacksmith do for ya?" Asked the Blacksmith. "We need an enchanted weapon." Said Skri'jal simply. "That's an order I haven't gotten in a good while..." The Blacksmith said ponderously, rubbing his bearded chin. "Alright, lad, where's your reagent?" The blacksmith asked finally. "Yes, it's with... LERISHA!!! Put your top back on!" Cried Skri'jal, as he attempted to avert his eyes. Indeed, Lerisha propped herself against a wall, her top in her hand, and her great, heaving, bare breasts shining with sweat from the heat of the forge. "But it's hoooooooooooot..." Whined Lerisha. "I don't care! Have some decency, you damned she-beast! Now give me the heart!" Cried Skri'jal. "Fine..." Moaned Lerisha as she tossed the obsidian heart to the irate devil. "Here." Said Skri'jal grumpily. "Eh? A Dark Heart? Where'd you get such a dark artifact?" Asked the blacksmith. "Found it. Can you make something or not?" Demanded Skri'jal. "Well... Yes. But do you have the money for it?" Asked the blacksmith. Skri'jal tossed him a large bag of coins. "Will that cover it?" He asked. The blacksmith looked at the bag, then nodded. "Yes, this will do. Now, any particular weapon or armor in mind?" The blacksmith asked. "Warhammer. make it as evil-looking as possible." Skri'jal replied. Three hours later, the smith returned. "It is done. Careful with it, lots of pointy bits." The smith said. "Perfect." Skri'jal replied, grinning. As they walked out of the forge, Skri'jal looked over to the still-topless Lerisha. "Lerisha, put your top on, we're out of the forge." He demanded. Lerisha crossed her arms defiantly, not covering her heaving breasts. "No." She said simply, like a little kid defying her father. "Lerisha, don't make me use this thing." Skri'jal threatened, holding up the giant, spiky, deadly-looking war hammer. "I'll put my top on, Skri-wee... But I want the hammer." Lerisha said sternly. "What? Why?" Asked Skri'jal. "Because, you have ten knives, four swords, two bows, two crossbows, three different guns, and a glave. I want a weapon!" Pouted Lerisha, bouncing her jugs as she stomped the ground. "Fine, fine, just take it and stop bouncing, er, stomping!" Cried Skri'jal, handing the hammer to Lerisha. She found it amazingly light, despite it's size, and swung it as a test. She accidentally hit a statue, and the hammer shattered it in a single blow. "Woah. Me gusta." Said Lerisha as she put her top back on. "Great, a weapon fit for an Archdemon... And Lerisha gets it. What a fucking waste." Mumbled Skri'jal. "Oh, cheer up, Skri-wee. You still have two bows and a glave!" Said Lerisha. "I only have one bow..." Whined Skri'jal.
Lerisha woke in the library the next day, her hammer propped on a nightstand beside her. Skri'jal was gone hunting, leaving her alone today. She didn't like how Skri'jal pushed her away all the time, but she guessed that that was their dynamic now; She made her advances, and Skri'jal pushed her away. Lerisha sighed, then got up, sitting upright. "No, I'm not gonna let that sourpuss ruin my day!" She said. Then, she went into the main room of the library, a determined look on her face. "I'm gonna do something productive today, and show that sour old devil that I can be worth his time!" She declared, And she grabbed her hammer and went for the door, determined to find something to do. As she walked around, she saw the town too carefree for anything she could do, unless someone desperately needed a blowjob. Suddenly, a giant roar rang throughout the town, sending the township fleeing into their homes. Looking around, Lerisha discovered the source of the noise: A giant, flaming demon, at least twenty feet tall, was trashing the town. "WHERE IS HIS HEART!? WHERE IS MY BROTHER'S HEART!?" The fiery behemoth roared, ripping up buildings, sending the residents within them scattering. "Holy Hell! That demon's terrorizing the town!" Cried Lerisha, master of exclaiming the obvious. "This is... perfect!!! I'll slay this demon, take his heart, and then Skri'jal will have to respect me! It's heroine time!" She cried, running toward the carnage, her giant hammer in tow. "GIVE ME MY BROTHER'S HEART, WORMS! I'LL KILL YOU ALL UNLESS YOU-" The giant demon was interrupted by a giant hammer to the face, and he looked toward his attacker: a voluptuous female demon of sorts, with a giant, evil-looking hammer in her hands. "Hey, ugly!" Lerisha called. "I'm gonna beat your face into a pulp unless you leave these innocent ponies alone!" The fiery demon roared, sending lava flying everywhere. "YOU THINK YOU CAN HARM THE MIGHTY BALITH?! YOU STUPID, RAPE-ABLE WHORE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TO DEATH!!!" Roared the demon Balith, but Lerisha stood firm. "If you can catch me, Fail-ith!" Lerisha spread her wings, and leaped into the air, straight toward Balith's head. Balith roared, swatting the air, but Lerisha was too fast. Once she had an opening, Lerisha smashed her hammer into Balith's head, knocking him down. "WHAT!? MY BROTHER"S HEART... IT'S IN YOUR HAMMER!!! I'LL KILL YOU, BIIIIITCH!!!!!" Balith roared, fire spouting from his mouth as he screamed "Biiiiitch". Then he got up, and made a desperate grab for Lerisha, who dodged nimbly, but Balith caught her skirt, tearing it off of her. "Eeeek! You pervert! That skirt was expensive!!!" Shrieked Lerisha, who was blushing furiously as she swung her hammer at Balith's head while trying to cover her exposed "Hello Kitty" panties. The hammer made contact with the side of Balith's head, causing it to explode, sending boiling blood and small bits of charred brain matter to go everywhere, especially on Lerisha. "... EEEEW!!! Ew, ew, ewewewewew!!!!!" Screamed Lerisha as she desperately tried to wipe the boiling ichor from herself. Meanwhile, the town was cheering at their new, half-dressed hero, causing her to look up at the cheering masses. "Incredible!" "Amazing!" "Are those Hello Kitty panties?" The masses cheered as Lerisha struck a heroic pose, then addressed her new fans: "Yes, yes, Balith is slain, you can continue peacefully with your lives, now." Called Lerisha from the slain demon's back. Suddenly, The mane six come running up, looking bewildered at the demon, then Lerisha, who was striking a pose on the demon's back, half naked. "What in the name of Celestia is going on here!?" Demanded Twilight, and the crowd quieted and parted. "Uh, I saved the town?" Replied Lerisha quietly. "I can see that, but what the heck is THAT!?" Cried Twilight, pointing at the headless demon. "I don't know. He just said he was looking for his brother's earthly remains, then tried to kill everyone." Twilight tried to respond, but was interrupted by a quite loud voice: "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?" Shouted Skri'jal, his voice shattering windows and eardrums alike. Lerisha suddenly looked very meek as Skri'jal stomped toward Lerisha. "Uh, hi, Skri'jal..." Said Lerisha softly. "Lerisha, you have two seconds to tell me why the fuck a giant demon is lying dead, and you're standing on top of it half-naked. And are those "Hello Kitty" panties?" Skri'jal asked, furious. "Uh... I just saved the town..." Whimpered Lerisha. "You? Save a town? I find that very, very hard to believe. Yet, there is this demon here..." Said Skri'jal, calming down. "Yeah! I saved a town! What do you think about that, huh?" Lerisha boasted, striking another pose. "I think you're covered in demon ichor, half naked, and need a bath. Good work, though." Said Skri'jal, slapping Lerisha on the butt as he walked away, causing her no end of embarrassment as her face turned the brightest shade of red she'd ever turned.
Skri'jal walked away from the scene with a smile on his face. For once, Lerisha did something besides bitch and whine. Maybe giving her that hammer was the right thing to do. Meanwhile, Celestia and Luna studied the fallen demon, worried expressions on their faces. "Sister, I don't think this is a coincidence. Two demons from somewhere else, now two demons from Tartarus itself? What could this mean?" Asked Luna. "I think... The prophecy is finally coming true." Said Celestia. "No, it can't be. If all Tartarus opens, those two, powerful as they are, cannot stop an entire army of demons!" Exclaimed Luna. "Hold now, sister, we don't know for sure if Tartarus has finally been unleashed. But if those two are who they say they are, we will have to tell them soon."
The next day
Skri'jal and Lerisha sat at the table in the local diner, and were discussing yesterday. "So you're telling me, that thing I killed back in the forest was this Balith guy's brother?" Skri'jal asked. "Yeah." Lerisha's response confirmed Skri'jal's fear. "Shit." Muttered Skri'jal. "What?" Asked Lerisha. "We may have to deal with papa bear soon." Skri'jal said. "I'd hate to see him when he flips his shit." Lerisha said. "That I can agree with." Skri'jal said. "But that also raises the question; Is it a coincidence? There seem to be a connection between the last two attacks." He continued. "I guess the other question's What is the connection?" Lerisha said. "We'll have to wait and see." Skri'jal said. After that, they headed for the library to see what they could find on local demons. as they arrived they found the mane six waiting for them. "Good, you're here." Twilight began. "Celestia has requested we see her in Canterlot. She said it has something to do with you two, and you should come along." She continued. "Alright. This won't take long will it?" Skri'jal said, assuming it was about the recent attacks. "Not at all."
an hour later
Skri'jal and his companions entered the throne room and greeted Celestia and Luna. "Greetings, I suppose, you are wondering what It is I have requested your prescience for. Well, I am afraid it is grave news." Celestia said. "Is Chrysalis returning?" Twilight hastily assumed. "No, It is far worse, The demon attacks were not a coincidence. The lord of all Tartarus has sent the demon brothers, Balith and Borahg, to proceed his invasion of the surface world." Celestia said grimly. "But there is hope, for it has been foretold that two unlikely heroes heroes would stop this invasion. It has been said that two demons of another world would defeat him in his own domain." Luna said. Skri'jal, who was drinking out of his canteen at that moment, did a spit-take. He coughed a little then said: "Say WHAT?" The mane six's reactions were not too different. "Wait! Skri'jal and Lerisha are demons?" Rainbow more said than asked. "Yes, But they are also our only hope to beat back the forces of Tartarus." "But what about the Elements of Harmony? We don't need to rely on demons to save us! We could kill them and be done with it!" Twilight said, finding it impossible to believe a pare of demons were going to save the entire world. "If you kill them, we will never hope to defeat the invasion force, let alone The lord of Tartarus himself. I am Afraid the Elements cannot save us all this time." Celestia said. "Let me get this straight, we have to stop a demonic invasion from hell itself, and kill your equivalent of the fucker who owns our asses?" Skri'jal asked. "Yes." Luna said. "Where do I sign?" Skri'jal asked jokingly, despite the new found tension in the air. "Follow me." Celestia said. And the group followed her to her throne, Which, with a pull of a torch-lever, slid aside to reveal a secret passage. "Of course a prophetic wall would be in a tomb under the throne." Skri'jal mumbled. The group descended into the darkness.
five minutes later
The group wandered through the long dark corridor. Celestia had lit her horn so they could see. Finally they entered a grand cavern. On the far wall were prophetic writings, written in a language Skri'jal recognized as Old Norse. Skri'jal began to read out loud: "When the nightmare falls, and the liars are revealed... When the Shadow of the ice is destroyed, the key will turn... From the darkness of another world, two heroes shall escape their pasts. When the world needs them most, they will answer it's call. They shall be a male warrior of unmatched prowess and a female who's skills stand in agility. One born of violence, the other of lust. Together they shall shut the gates of Tartarus and save the world from the greatest threat it shall ever face..." "You can read the language of the Alicorns?" Celestia asked. "It goes by another name where I come from, but yes. I can read it." Skri'jal said. "So, they really will save the world?" Rainbow Dash asked. "So it is written." Skri'jal said. "Where's Lerisha?" He asked. "Over here! I found something!" Lerisha called from the right side of the chamber. Celestia brightened her horn so they could see the whole chamber. On the right was a relief carving, startlingly resembling the succubus standing next to it. Opposite the first relief was a second relief of disturbing resemblance to Skri'jal-mevix. "This just gets better and better." Skri'jal mumbled as he approached his relief. He put his hand into a hole on the right of it. Feeling a handle in the back of the hole, he turned it left. Meanwhile Lerisha mirrored his actions on her side of the chamber. Suddenly the chambers shook and the two reliefs slid backwards and down, revealing two more secret chambers. "Secret chamberception." Skri'jal mumbled. Inside the two new chambers were suits of armor. Skri'jal's suit looked like It was meant to protect consisting of a helmet that came to a point in front of his face. The armor itself looked segmented one one arm and solid on the other. While the pauldron on the segmented arm arched low over his shoulder, the other pauldron was a solid plate. His cuirass had one segment to allow more movement or the torso without sacrificing protection. His greaves were composed of solid plates all the way down to his boots. Lerisha's armor was composed of a revealing breast plate which did little to cover her cleavage, a revealing piece around her pelvic area, and sleek chainmail leggings with a platemail knee guard on it's left. Her boots were just glorified armored high heels. Celestia and the others encouraged them to try their armor on and gave them a little privacy, Much to Skri'jal's dismay. The two demons tried on their armor and like the metal suits. "Me gusta." Skri'jal said. he reached for an odd object sticking out of the wall and pulled, revealing it to be a sword that matched his and Lerisha's armor. Lerisha came over to his side to see him. "Like what you see?" Asked Lerisha sultrily. Skri'jal turned and saw her in her armor, which complemented her hammer well enough. "No. But it suit you well, I suppose. Looks allot like your hammer." Skri'jal said, his attention returned to his blade. "You wanna have a little fun, now that it's just us?" Lerisha asked. "No." Skri'jal said as he gave his blade a few test swings. picked up its sheath and strapped it to his back. The demonic duo walked to the throne-door and emerged clad in dark armor.
The next few weeks proceeded much as they had before, despite the recent revelations. Nothing greatly changed and routines remained much the same. For Skri'jal, this was a good thing. It meant they wouldn't pester him about trivial things. But despite the much appreciated lack of attention, He still had things to do. So he sat in his room in the cellar, contemplating everything that happened so far. Currently, he and Lerisha fell off the map, a miasma started stalking him, he had gone on the bar none worst vacation of his life, he had to save Lerisha from a rotting flesh pile of a demon, Lerisha took down said demon's brother, And they both were tied together in a crazy prophecy. Suddenly he heard someone knocking at his door. He got up with a groan and walked to the cellar door. He opened it and found Lerisha standing there. "Hey, Skri-wee." Lerisha said. "You need something?" Skri'jal said. "What? I can't stop by and talk?" Lerisha complained playfully. "If You are going to ask what I think you're going to ask, the answer is the same as the last four hundred times; No." "You'll come around eventually." Lerisha said. "I Intend to save my virginity for some one who I will actually settle down and have a family with. Knowing you, You want neither of those commitments." Skri'jal reasoned. "Now, is that the only thing you came here to ask?" Skri'jal inquired. "Well... Um..." Lerisha began as she started to scratch the back of her head and fidget nervously. Skri'jal had only seen her behave like this once. When they first met. "Say what you're gonna say, I'll listen before I judge." Skri'jal said. Instantly, Lerisha kissed him on the lips for a few seconds before breaking it And covering her mouth in shock. She was slightly mortified that her feelings got the best of her for a moment. "Uh... I'm just going to lay down and forget this happened." Skri'jal said. "Yeah, lets pretend this never happened." Lerisha agreed, and Skri'jal closed the door. "Whisky Hotel Alpha Tango Tango Hotel Echo Alpha Charlie Tango Uniform Alpha Lima Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo?" Skri'jal said in a bout of confusion trying to comprehend what exactly just happened at that moment.
The following morning
Skri'jal woke up and began his daily routine of personal hygiene, hunting, and working on the farm. Despite the fact they had been told he was a demon, the mane six didn't seem to have flipped out as badly as he initially predicted when Celestia first told them all about that madman prophecy. Nothing really changed for him and Lerisha, save the six ponies they hung out with now respected/feared them. After what Lerisha did the prior day, he chose to ignore thinking about it. Probably just a convoluted, cockamamie, and all out crazy attempt to get into his pants. But something was different about her kiss, he couldn't place his finger on it. He filed the thought away for later debate. For now, he need only work. His head hit the tree as it would for the rest of the day. After The day's harvest, he inspected his new sword while internally debating what happened with Lerisha yesterday. It was unorthodox. The blade, rather than pointing straight up, pointed outward. The hilt was lodged in the hollow of the blade becoming more of a handle than a hilt. the blade had a semicircular hollow and tapered slightly to a point, the tapering beginning a few centimeters from the hollow. The tapering part of the blade started out the same length as the hilt and was free of any angles or serrations beyond where the two blades became one. The sword's blade was an impressive three and a half feet collectively. it suited his armor well. But this impressive feet of blacksmith did little to help his internal debate, which probably looked like a drunken brawl by now. "This is how paranoia is born." Skri'jal said as he figured he'd probably have to stalk Lerisha to figure out if her words were true or not. He was not about to use ghost order tricks, he was trying to find the truth, not make her paranoid. He would keep tabs on her definitely. But what made her kiss different? He recalled the incident and pondered. Perhaps there was more than just lust in it. That was odd behavior for her at that moment. But could her words have been true? He would see eventually. Meanwhile Lerisha feared the worst. Skri'jal probably hated her or thought it was a half-baked attempt to get into his pants. She couldn't bare the stress of not knowing. The fear of being less than nothing to Skri'jal was more than painful to her heart. But yet, there was a sliver of hope. She decided to go to sleep. She would hopefully find out in the morning. She cuddled up with a pillow and fell asleep. She hoped with all her heart he wasn't angry with her because of that. She could only hope for now. But tomorrow was a brand new day. She could only hope this wasn't going to be a crash-and-burn relationship, if it did take off. But for now, All she had was a small sliver of hope to keep her going. It was this sliver that she held onto as if for dear life.
Skri'jal sat in his cellar, trying to wrap his head around yesterday. This was so vastly unlike Lerisha, he originally thought she had been replaced. But that was not the case, for she acted normal in every other aspect. Except that she now avoided him. "Why must women be so complicated?" Asked Skri'jal to himself. Then, Applejack came down. "Why do you approach me, mortal?" Skri'jal asked sarcastically.
"Ah, nuthin', just wonderin' why you're sittin' down here when everyone's preparin' for Nightmare Night." Replied Applejack.
"That sounds like a bastardization of Halloween..." Said Skri'jal grumpily.
"Hallowhatnow?" Asked Applejack.
"Child, you have much to learn. Come, sit, and I will tell you... Of Hallow's Eve!" Said Skri'jal, a dark tone in his voice. Applejack sat, and the militant devil began his tale: "It is said Hallow's Eve began many, many years ago on our world, first as a superstition among pagans, then as a tradition. It is said that on Halloween, the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead is weakened, and spirits and demons enter the world, seeking tribute from the mortals of the living world." Explained Skri'jal. "Woah. That's definitely different from Nightmare Night..." Applejack commented. "Indeed. And on Hallows Eve, it is said that those who do not appease the demons and restless spirits are beset by devils and misfortune. Crops will wither on the vine, plague will beset the livestock, and devils like me will burn your house down with combustible lemons." Skri'jal continued, terrifying Applejack, who was shaking like a leaf. "And then, on the final day of Hallow's Eve, when the spirits begin to return to their side of the veil and the worlds become separate once more, You must leave an offering of bread and water, or the spirits and demons will exact a more terrible vengeance than you can ever imagine upon you next year, when the veil opens once more." Skri'jal explained. "And that, child, is Halloween." He finished. Applejack, however, just sat there, looking mortified. "H-how can you people celebrate such a terrible holiday?!" Applejack stammered. "Same way you celebrate yours, I suppose. But then again, you're asking the wrong side. I just do the tormenting, ask the ones that celebrate it if you want a better answer." Skri'jal replied smugly as he got up, dusting himself off. Then, he left, leaving a still-mortified Applejack behind.
Later
As Skri'jal walked the streets of the town, he thought to himself about the coming holiday. He despised Halloween, but this bastardization was only bound to be worse. As he walked, he bumped into someone else, and they both fell on their asses. "Hey, watch where you're walking, you... Lerisha?!" Exclaimed Skri'jal, surprised she'd be walking around for no reason, especially after three days of being so reclusive after the incident. "Ahh! S-Skri'jal!" Lerisha cried. "I-I have to go, nice chatting!" She tried to escape, but Skri'jal caught her arm, and refused to let go. "Skri'jal, let go, you're claws are hurting!" She tried to lie, but Skri'jal's claws were retractable, and were retracted. "Nice try, Succubus. Why are you hiding from me?" Skri'jal demanded. "Please don't make me answer that..." Lerisha pleaded quietly, blushing and looking away from Skri'jal. "Lerisha, you're acting weirder than normal. Start talking, now." Skri'jal threatened. "I...I... You can't make me!" Lerisha cried, trying to pull her arm free from the devil's unrelenting grasp. Skri'jal groaned in annoyance. "Lerisha, either you tell me, or I'll find out. Which do you want? I can do either one." Skri'jal told the sniveling succubus. "I... I can't tell you... Look, I have to go." Lerisha said, finally getting her arm free, then running off. Skri'jal just sat there, confused. "What the fuck, Lerisha?!" He finally said out loud.
Later still
Lerisha walked back to the Library, checking over her shoulder occasionally to see if she was being followed. As soon as she got there, she found the thickest book she could find, and started smacking herself with it. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" She cried as she hit her face with the book repeatedly. "Why couldn't I tell him! Gah, you're hopeless! Pretty soon, you'll be asking these sops for advice, and they've never been laid in their lives! I hate this! Why did he have to show up?" She raved, but she did not feel better. It was hopeless. "Ugh, I hate this.. Why did I have to fall in love with a devil?" She asked herself, internally raging at her own shyness. "Can't even say 'I love you' to him... I'm so pathetic..." As she said this, The door opened, and Skri'jal walked in, causing Lerisha to freeze solid. Luckily, she was hidden, and he walked past her, toward a random book shelf. As she tried to slink away, however, Skri'jal suddenly turned and pointed at her. "Aha! I see you sneakin' around back there!" Skri'jal shouted, and he grabbed the succubus by the back of her neck, hoisting her up onto her feet. "Skri'jal, please let me go..." Whimpered Lerisha. "No. Not until you tell me what the fuck's going on with you. You're acting jumpier than a Canadian spy, lady, and I'm going to be told why." Skri'jal stated. Skri'jal hated it when people kept things from him, and he was used to getting people to fork them over. However, he didn't particularly want to hurt Lerisha this time, so he resorted to intimidation, which only made her cloister up even more. So now, he was doing the one thing he never hoped to do: Comforting. "I don't know! Please, just leave me to wallow in my own self pity, I don't need you making it worse..." Lerisha said, on the verge of tears. Suddenly, Skri'jal put her down, and started petting her head. "There... there... I'm not... gonna hurt you..." Skri'jal said painfully, and through gritted teeth. Lerisha, though calm now, was ultimately surprised and confused. "What are you doing, Skri'jal?" She asked flatly. "I'm trying to 'comfort' you. You seem distressed about something, and I don't like secrets. Unfortunately, none of my other methods are working, so this is all I have left. Now, tell me what's bugging you." Skri'jal explained, an annoyed tone in his voice. He was terrible at comforting, but the gesture alone softened Lerisha up a bit. "Well, you'll likely hate me if I told you..." Lerisha said softly. "Lerisha, nothing you can say will ever make me hate you more than I do already. Just tell me, and we can... get... through this..." Skri'jal was gritting his teeth again. clearly, this was causing him a lot of pain, and that alone got Lerisha out of her shell. "Alright, I'll tell you, but I need a favor." Lerisha said, smiling. "Anything but sex." Skri'jal said flatly. "No... just keep petting..." She said tiredly, resting her head on Skri'jal's lap. Skri'jal was disgusted by this, but he kept petting. "Alright, now tell me what' going on, succubus." Demanded Skri'jal. "Well, I know this may shock you, but... I kinda... sorta... well..." She stalled, causing Skri'jal's blood pressure to rise critically. "Yeeeeessssss?" Asked Skri'jal slowly. "Well, Skri'jal, remember that kiss in the cellar?" Lerisha asked nervously. "Yeah?" Asked Skri'jal, who was now getting a really bad feeling in his guts. "Well... I really... I like you, Skri'jal. A lot." Skri'jal immediately stopped petting, and had the most extreme "WTF?" look on his face that had ever existed. "... Uh..." Skri'jal said, and Lerisha smiled, getting up. "Simple, Skri-wee. I like you, and I don't care what you think anymore: We're here, and this is happening." Lerisha said seductively. "I... Are you sure? I mean, what about hell..?" Asked Skri'jal, who was stunned enough that Lerisha wasn't molesting him yet. "Screw hell. We're not going back any time soon, why not make the most of our time away?" Lerisha asked, slowly unzipping Skri'jal's trousers. "Wha-?! You... You planned this..!" Skri'jal tried to weasel, but he was caught in the succubus's trap, and her lips locked to his reptilian muzzle, shutting him up. "No words, my little soldier. Just enjoy the ride." Lerisha whispered as she slowly pulled off Skri'jal's combat trousers, leaving the devil stark naked. Soon after, Lerisha removed her top, revealing her great, bouncing, voluptuous breasts, then did away with her skirt, and finally guided Skri'jal's hand to her "Hello Kitty" panties. "You disgust me, succubus..." Skri'jal said weakly, unable to remove himself from Lerisha's spell. "I know." She said simply. Then, the panties came off, leaving the demons completely naked, and Lerisha wrapped her legs around Skri'jal's waist as she climbed on top of him. Skri'jal, unable to resist the succubus, laid there as she raised and lowered herself onto him, and remained in agonized silence as Lerisha moaned in pleasure, her hips thrusting, and her glistening breasts heaving as she swayed, and she lowered her face to his muzzle, passionately kissing him once more. Skri'jal could not speak, nor did he want to. Lerisha was right: they weren't going back to hell any time soon, and no one but them would ever know of this. Skri'jal, unable to resist Lerisha any longer, grabbed her ass, and they both moaned as the devil's defenses failed. Unable to move, Skri'jal simply laid limp as Lerisha then carried the devil to the basement to continue their dark romance.
The next morning
Skri'jal awoke with a start, causing Lerisha to groan, then turn over. Both demons were stark naked, and he unfortunately knew why. "Oh, hell... I can't believe I just... And with... ugh, this is going to be a long day." Skri'jal whined, walking up the stairs to retrieve his pants. After a few minutes, Lerisha exited the basement as well. She, however, was barely dressed, as she managed to find her skimpy undertop and her panties, but not much else. "Hello, Skri-wee..." Lerisha said seductively, kissing the devil on the forehead. And for once, Skri'jal wasn't tempted to swat her away. Then, Twilight came up to the two, looking quite happy. "Hey guys, I just wanted to thank you for the special effects on Nightmare Night!" She said, Confusing the demons. "Special effects?" Asked Skri'jal. "Of course! you know, the moaning and scratching? Really scared the heck out of the judges! they gave us a perfect score, and we won!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly. "... Won what?" Asked Lerisha. Twilight just laughed. "The scariest house contest, of course! Jeez, you two act like you forgot all about yesterday!" Twilight said. "Uh... yeah, right. Totally acting." Stammered Skri'jal, who elbowed Lerisha to get her to play along. "Uh, yeah! Of course! Glad we could help out, Twilight!" Lerisha managed to say, blushing furiously. "Yep! Now, I need to get some things from the store. You two might want to get out of your costumes, Nightmare Night's over. Maybe tonight we can try out Halloween!" Twilight said, heading toward the door. "Wait, Halloween? How'd you..?" Skri'jal asked. "Applejack told me that you told her. Well, gotta run. Later!" aid Twilight, closing the door behind her. "Lovely." Sighed Skri'jal. "Look on the bright side, now people have to leave food out for you, being a devil and all." Lerisha tried to comfort Skri'jal. Then, the devil perked up, and he got an idea. An evil, nasty, grinchy idea.
Skri'jal lay in his bed in the basement at the end of that day, his belly full of the tribute of the townsfolk. For once, being a devil was rewarding.
"Ugh, it's good to be me..." Moaned Skri'jal. Last night was the best. Ever since the rumor of Halloween being the time he became the most powerful and mischievous spread, Ponies were giving him more than candy; he got free food, free booze, and a free recliner last night, and got so stuffed and drunk, he was told he did set fire to a house. However, he was forgiven, for fear he would set the owner of the now-ruined home on fire, too. Yes, last night was a blur, and the worst hangover ever concocted by Satan himself now plagued his head, but it was worth it. For once in his life he felt... free! No one told him what to do anymore, and he finally felt this thing people call happiness. Now, since his relationship with Lerisha, He knows what it means to be normal. Not a devil, nor angel, just... himself. A creature, with no masters or rituals, and with simple wants and means to obtain them. And right now, he wanted a nap. Later that evening, He and Lerisha went to the edge of town, for no real reason.
"It's kinda quiet..." Said Lerisha.
"What? The town? When isn't it?" replied Skri'jal sarcastically. Indeed, ever since the prophecy was told to them, no demons have showed up.
"Maybe the prophecy's bogus..." Wondered Lerisha.
"Maybe. I'm just glad that those last two are back in tartarus. Nice just being quiet for once." Skri'jal said, smiling slightly. Suddenly, a terrible, earth shaking roar, shaking the mountains and the earth, and causing Skri'jal and Lerisha to groan.
"I spoke to soon... again." Lerisha groaned before the two ran off to get their weapons.
Meanwhile, Ponyville
ponies were running left and right as a giant, armored demon, at least ten times bigger than the demon Balith, wrecked the town, his metal armor a harsh light-blue color, and it glowed even harsher in some parts. The demon roared a shrill, demonic, earth-shaking roar, shattering windows and eardrums alike. Then, the demon cast his burning red eyes on six ponies, each with a piece of jewelry.
"Alright, girls, let's send this ugly duckling back to his pond!" Shouted Twilight to the other five. They fired the elements at the colossal, skull-faced demon, but the white beam did nothing but annoy it. The demon then grinned, a hard thing to do when your mouth is practically made of long, sharp fangs, but he managed. Then, he spoke:
""Keh heh heh!!! You little mortals think your little toys can stop the mighty Cyanax!? You will die for your ignorance, pestilent insects!" The demon shouted, and then he materialized a Cyan fireball in his right hand, and cast it at the Mane six, causing them to jump out of the way.
"My sons have been deprived of their birthright, and I'm going to take my anger out on you small, delicious mortals until you cough up the two that wronged my boys. One has my youngest's heart!" roared the demon, the fire surrounding his skull-like head changing from light blue to a harsh, evil green.
"Come on! The one villain we get to fight, and he's immune to the elements of Harmony!? What the heck!?" Cried Rainbow Dash.
"Don't lose hope! Only those two can stop him, but we can still hurt him! let's get him, girls!" Shouted Twilight. Rainbow Dash, eager to fight the demon, flew hastily toward his knee, breaking through, while Applejack bucked the same leg, causing it to bend the wrong way.
MY LEG!!! It's not supposed to bend that way! I'll destroy you pests!" Cried Cyanax, and he got up, his broken knee and leg regenerating as a cloud of steam came off of it. Then, he raised his clawed foot, and stomped the ground, causing a massive tremor.
"He... regenerated..." Twilight said, shaken by Cyanax's sudden recovery.
"What the heck, he heals, too? This guy's no fair!" Cried Rainbow Dash. Suddenly, Pinky Pie appeared with her party cannon.
"Pinkie, now's not the time for that!" Shouted Twilight.
"For your information, Professor Oak, there is always a time for the power of parties!" Pinkie said, pulling the chord and launching a ball of confetti at Cyanax's eyes.
"What? Who the heck is Professor Oak?" Asked Twilight, confused. Suddenly, the confetti ball hit, and Cyranax grasped his face in pain.
"MY EYES!!!! MY *bleep*ING EYES!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL, YOU LITTLE *bleep*!!!!!!!" Cyranax cussed.
"Woah, language, Cyranax! This is a kid's show, remember?" Pinkie said, confusing everyone. Suddenly, a voice sounded behind them:
"Yeah, that stopped when we showed up. So let's get to the best part of every R-rated show, shall we?" Skri'jal said smugly.
"The tits?" Asked Lerisha. "We already covered that. A lot." Skri'jal facepalmed.
"I meant the blood, gore, and excessive violence, genius. Now the joke's ruined..." Skri'jal moaned. "Let's just end this fucker and get this over with." Skri'jal finished, getting his blades out.
"Agreed." Lerisha said, bringing out her hammer.
"You two fuckwads think you can hurt me with those little toothpicks? I'm both insulted and amused! Now die, worthless aberrations!" Cyanax roared, materializing another fireball.
"Alright, fugly..." Skri'jal started, getting into his combat stance.
"Let's dance." Lerisha finished for Skri'jal, getting into her own stance.
Cyanax roared as the two demons got into battle stance, eager to take him down. Then, he hurled a massive fireball at them, causing the two demons to dodge away. Separated, the demons frantically worked to distract Cyanax while they attacked, but he would not fall, for he kept regenerating.
"Gah, Why won't this guy die already?" Lerisha complained, sweating from the unbearable heat the giant demon was radiating.
"I don't know, But this guy's too hot to make direct contact with." Skri'jal said.
"GRAH HA HA!!! You can never win, mortals! Give up, and your deaths will be painless!" Cyanax roared, causing Skri'jal's blood to boil.
"We are not mortal! Stop cheating, you colossal jackass!" Skri'jal yelled, causing Cyanax to burst into laughter.
"Ha! The mighty Cyanax does not cheat! My flames burn with vengeance and conviction! If you cannot handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen!" Cyanax bellowed, then prepared another fireball.
"Ugh, I can't stand this heat! We need some rain, or he's going to burn the whole village by standing next to it!" Lerisha whined, beginning to remove her top.
"Put that top back on, succubus! I have a plan. We just have to get him on his back." Skri'jal told Lerisha.
"How? He keeps blowing off all our attacks!" Lerisha cried.
"You have a hammer, hit him with it or something!" Skri'jal snapped.
"Ugh, do I have to? I don't want to burn to a crisp, you know." Lerisha groaned.
"Succubus, if you don't take the initiative and hit that tango, I'll roast you alive myself!" Skri'jal yelled, his inner drill sergeant taking over.
"Now, hit that hostile, or I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you!" Skri'jal yelled, and tears began to well in Lerisha's eyes.
"Skri'jal... *sniff* ...That was mean..." Lerisha whimpered, her lower lip beginning to tremble.
"Lerisha, not now... Stop crying..." Skri'jal said, facepalming.
"Wow, way to go, Romeo. Way to make a woman cry. Seriously, I'm impressed." Cyanax rumbled.
"Lerisha, stop." Skri'jal said. Lerisha began to whimper.
"Lerisha, I swear to god, if one tear leaves your eye..." Skri'jal threatened, but to no avail.
"Oh, god, Lerisha, don't you fucking dare!" Skri'jal scolded, but it was too late. Instantly, tears, flooded from Lerisha's eyes in a cartoonish fashion, drenching Skri'jal.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Why are you so mean to me?!" Lerisha sobbed, tears flooding the immediate area, and forming a small river towards Cyanax's feet. Suddenly, as the river of tears made contact with the demon, steam billowed up from the contact point, causing Cyanax to reel back and howl in a mixture of shock and pain. Then, he tripped, and fell flat on his ass, causing a small tremor. As this happened, Skri'jal got an Idea.
"Lerisha, Stop crying, or I'll beat you within an inch of your life!" Skri'jal bellowed, Causing Lerisha to start crying even harder. As she did, Skri'jal picked her up like a rifle of sorts, and aimed her waterworks at Cyanax, who screeched and roared in pain as his flames were extinguished, leaving him powerless.
Ack! No! Bleagh! My flames! What have you done!? Cried Cyanax.
"Simple. I put you out. Now to end you once and for all!" Skri'jal explained, setting a still-sobbing Lerisha down next to him. Then, Skri'jal leaped at Cyanax, who flailed and roared in a desperate bid to rid himself of the warlike, misogynistic devil. With a final strike with his weird blade, Cyanax fell to his knees, too weak to fight. Unfortunately, so was Skri'jal.
"Ugh, that took a while..." Skri'jal puffed, popping his back.
"whoof, Lerisha, tag out!" Skri'jal said, but Lerisha huffed and turned away.
"Oh my god, Lerisha..." Skri'jal muttered threateningly.
"You hurt my feelings, Skri'jal! You finish him yourself." Lerisha harrumphed.
"H-Ha! Where's your backup now, pest?" Cyanax taunted.
"Lerisha, you can't be serious." Skri'jal said tiredly.
"I am! I think I need to go home, You just made me cry!" Lerisha explained.
"Ugh, shit..." Skri'jal muttered. Now, he had to do something dramatic, or risk losing her.
"Lerisha, I'm sorry..." Skri'jal began.
"Nope, still hurt." Lerisha replied, sniffling.
"Ugh... Lerisha, stop being so mad. I'll... I'll have sex with you if you stop acting so crazy." Skri'jal said, trying to sound as serious as possible while Cyanax and The Mane Six looked at him like he'd lost his ever-loving mind. Suddenly, Lerisha turned around.
"Crazy sex?" She asked hopefully, her eyes shining.
"Kinky as you want. No whips, though." Skri'jal said, surprised that his half-assed bribe actually worked.
"Oh, Skri-wee!" Lerisha cried, hugging the devil.
"You two are sick in the head!" Cyanax cried.
"We're from hell. Deal with it." Lerisha said, taking her hammer and crushing the giant demon's head with it. Then, she jumped into Skri'jal's arms.
"Now, take me to the park. I'm taking you up on your offer in the kinkiest way possible, and I want an audience." Lerisha commanded.
"Oh, joy..." Skri'jal muttered grumpily as he carried the succubus to the park. Meanwhile, The Mane Six just stared in horror, first at the corpse of Cyanax, then at the two demons who were about to have weird, kinky sex in the park.
"What the..?" Twilight asked to nopony in particular.
Skri'jal woke up naked in the park. After last night he wasn't surprised in the least. He found his clothes and started back to the farm, the harvest season was on it's last week. Lerisha then woke and said: "Going somewhere, Skri-wee?"
"Well I do have to work today. The harvest's not over yet." Skri'jal replied. Lerisha got up, walked over and kissed him.
"I guess I'll see you later then." Lerisha said, a little sad Skri'jal had to leave. With that, the two demonic lovers parted ways for the day. Skri'jal just hoped he didn't have too much trouble today. He probably threw out his back during his brawl with Cyanax and a broken backs tend to be a problem with getting out of trouble. The day continued much as normal but Skri'jal knew that that one day of the year he hated the most was fast approaching. So long as he kept his mouth shut about the subject, he could skip his birthday and then there'd be nothing that hyperactive mass of pink, fluffy chaos could do to make it any worse than the eldest of his fourteen sisters. He absolutely hated that bitch. She was the nastiest, fiercest devil south of the Styx, next to him of course. He shook the thought away as he was working. She was still in hell, and the odds of her showing up on his birthday and making him miserable were way to slim for him to worry about. But the One Percent Factor was still present, and with the odds he calculated, If she did show up...
"God help me..." Skri'jal said with a shudder.
Later that day Lerisha came over to his place and knocked on his door. He answered with a half-smile and let her in. He gave her the camping stool while he sat on the equally uncomfortable cot.
"So what brings you here, Lerisha?" Skri'jal asked.
"Oh, nothing really. Since you asked, I was wondering when's your birthday?" Lerisha asked. Skri'jal suddenly started eyeballing some barrels. He then returned his attention to Lerisha and said:
"As long as you promise not to tell Pinkie about it, I'll tell you."
"Why not?" Lerisha said
"Because the last thing a need is a murder charge and a heart attack." Skri'jal retorted.
"Alright, fair enough." Lerisha said.
"It's next Wednesday." Skri'jal said.
"That's my birthday too." Lerisha noted.
"Well, ain't that something." Skri'jal said bemusedly.
"Well, guess we'll have to get each other something special for next week." Lerisha said.
"That's easier said than done." Skri'jal said with a hint of amusement. In all honesty, it wasn't hard to find a gift. The real challenge was getting it without Pinkie Pie figuring out what the occasion was.
"So... Wanna have some fun?" Lerisha said sultrily.
"Only if I'm on top this time." Skri'jal said jokingly.
"Deal." Lerisha said as she began undressing.
The next morning
Skri'jal and Lerisha awoke in the cellar. They kissed and left to find something special for next week. Skri'jal had one particular destination in mind. On his way to Rarity's place of business, Skri'jal stopped by a jewelry store. Apparently the Jeweler was the same person he burned down the house of in a drunken rage on Halloween. After requesting a simple silver necklace with a center piece of amethyst with jet stones placed around it, he continued to his original destination. Meanwhile Lerisha decided to visit the blacksmith and get a pair of scythe-bladed chakrams with bone-like grips for Skri'jal. Said devil was currently arriving at His intended destination, The Carousel Boutique. Under normal circumstances, Skri'jal would avoid this place, but these were not normal circumstances. As he entered a bell over the door rang. Rarity, who was in another room at the moment, looked into the foyer and saw the militaristic devil. "Oh. Skri'jal. I never thought you of all people come here." Rarity said, slightly impressed the socially dysfunctional devil showed up at her home/workplace. "What brings you here?" She inquired.
"I'm looking for something for Lerisha. I want to get her something nice." Skri'jal said. Immediately, Rarity understood why.
"Ooh. Trying to impress her now, are we?" Rarity said with a fitting tone. "So, What's the occasion?" Rarity asked.
"No reason. I just thought I'd get her something nice for next Wednesday." Skri'jal said. Suddenly Pinkie burst out from between the cushions of the couch Skri'jal was standing in front of saying:
"Is that her birthday!?!"
"OHSWEETFUCKINGJESUSALMIGHTY!" Skri'jal said looking about ready to have a heart-attack.
"Skri'jal! Language!" Rarity shouted. Skri'jal was taking deep breaths to recover from almost having cardiac arrest.
"Sorry..." Skri'jal wheezed "... It's not like I just almost had a heart attack!" He said.
"Still, that is no reason to use that kind of language." Rarity chided.
"Saying that is like saying I don't want to strangle my eldest sister." Skri'jal said.
"Well this isn't Hell, so please don't use that kind of language." Rarity said.
"Fuck off my case bitch." Skri'jal grumbled. "Back to the point of my visit, Can you make something nice for Lerisha?" Skri'jal asked.
"Well, I would most certainly love the challenge, but I will need her measurements." Rarity said.
"Luckily for you, I have them all in my head." Skri'jal said giving her the measurements so she could work. This was going to be the first time he was actually looking forward to his birthday, even if it was for just Lerisha. Ever since they first met he always had a feeling of connection to her. He now had a reason why. He'd collect the gifts for Lerisha one day prior to their birthday so he could give her them. He was not use to this kind of thing, so he could only hope he was doing it right.
while Lerisha was at Skri'jal's place Twilight thought it might be a good idea to try summoning something from hell in her basement. "Twilight? are you sure this is a good idea?" Spike asked eyeing the strange runes one the floor which seemed demonic.
"Of course Spike. It's not like we're going to accidentally summon the lord of all Hell himself." Twilight said with complete confidence what ever she pulled out of hell could easily be put back. Unfortunately this would not be the case.
"Well I still have a bad feeling to this, Twilight." Spike said.
"Come on. What's the worst the worst that could happen?" Twilight said.
"Alright, If this completely backfires, I'm bolting." Spike said.
"Fair enough." Twilight said Whist rolling her eyes. She promptly began the summoning ritual completely unaware of what was going to happen.
Later
Skri'jal and Lerisha were spending a quiet evening together. The day had been slow mostly. Lerisha absolutely loved her gifts as did Skri'jal. As far as they were concerned, nothing could ruin this, Not even the end of the world. Then some one knocked on the door. Furiously at that. Both demons groaned and Skri'jal went to answer it. He opened the door and found Twilight looking like Pheidippides. Damn that man had a set of legs. "What happened to you? You look like you just ran from Marathon." Skri'jal said.
"I *huff* I thi- *huff* I think *huff* I *huff* might ha- *huff* have a *huff* problem." She panted. Skri'jal looked at spike, who was on her back.
"What happened?" Skri'jal asked.
"Twilight was messing around in the basement with summoning spells and stuff, suddenly she conjured ANOTHER devil! We managed to trap it in the basement with a bookshelf, But I don't think that'll hold much longer!" Spike said in blatant panic. Skri'jal did not like where this was going.
"Twilight, If this devil is who I think it is... I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be shittin' metal for a week." Skri'jal threatened.
"Fair *huff* enough." She panted
Later
Skri'jal arrived at Twilight's library with rage in his gut. his feet burned the ground as he passed. Lerisha and Twilight tagged along to see how this went down. From the look in Skri'jal's eye, It would be best to stay out of this brawl. Skri'jal kicked the door in. And saw the bookshelf blocking the basement door. He glare at it as it thumped repetitively to the fervent assault of the devil behind. The drumming door stopped for a moment and the basement's sole occupant began to speak: "You little shits can't keep me here forever! I'll break through eventually!" Skri'jal recognized that voice... It was his eldest sister. Skri'jal balefully threw the shelf aside and socked his sister as she burst forth from the basement. She got up and spit out a broken tooth. "Well, well, well... If it isn't the runt of the litter." The black scaled devil said. Granted, she could barely recognize the devil she called a brother beneath his new armor
"X`iera?! What the fuck are you doing here, specifically, within 500 feet of me?" Skri'jal asked angrily.
"What? Can't a sister wish her little bro a happy birthday?" X`iera asked sarcastically, cracking her knuckles and grinning maliciously.
"You stay away from me, you incest-loving inbred! I swear to God, Yahweh, Odin, Allah, and The One Ring that I will end you if you take one more step in my general direction!" Skri'jal threatened, getting into a threatening stance.
"Aww, Incest, really? Have you no bounds to your insults? I mean, they're almost always true, but still..." X`iera said mockingly.
"... Is she serious, Skri'jal?" Lerisha asked flatly.
"That's his sister!?" Twilight asked, more shocked that the aggressive, black-scaled devil was female than the fact that it was into incest.
"Don't ask. It's a normal thing back home." Skri'jal explained tiredly.
"Not in my circle..." Lerisha said nauseously.
"Well, now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, lets skip to the traditional birthday punches... One for each year, just like always." X`iera said threateningly, stepping toward Skri'jal.
"Not this time, bitch. I am NOT reliving last year." Skri'jal growled, drawing his sword.
"Weapons, Huh? What's the matter, can't face up to big sister with your bare hands?" X`iera asked threateningly, grinning.
"That a problem, sister dear?" Skri'jal asked menacingly.
"Not on your life, twerp. You using toys is just gonna make this more fun." X`iera said, then she lunged at Skri'jal, catching off-guard and putting him in a headlock.
"Gurk... Yeah, you two, just stand and watch... don't bother getting this psychopath off of me..." Skri'jal gasped, struggling against the much larger devil's grip.
"What am I supposed to do? The lady looks more like a dude; she'll crush me!" Lerisha said.
"I have to agree with Lerisha. This looks like more of a family matter." Twilight said nervously.
"You both suck!" Skri'jal yelled as he wormed his way out of his sister's grasp.
"What's the matter, Small fry, hoping your girlfriend would save you?" X`iera asked.
"Why am I always your target every year, you ape?!" Skri'jal asked quickly, crawling up the wall and clinging to the ceiling like a twisted, armored lizard.
"Because you're the runt, bro! Gotta be tough if you wanna survive!" X`iera explained. "Now come down so I can give you your birthday present!" She called.
"We're not in hell anymore, and I don't need a repeat of that incident three years ago! Go away, you n'wah!" Skri'jal yelled, gripping the ceiling even tighter.
"What happened three years ago?" Asked Twilight.
"I don't wanna talk about it!" Skri'jal yelled.
"What's the matter, embarrassed? I thought it was hilarious!" X`iera laughed.
"I don't like how that sounded..." Lerisha said.
"It sounds like it sounds! Twilight, unsummon my sister or I'll- Aaagh!" Skri'jal cried as X`iera grabbed him, then pried him off the ceiling.
"You're mine, pipsqueak!" X`iera said triumphantly. "Now, you gonna fight, or are you gonna quiver, little man?" X`iera asked menacingly.
"Quiver." Skri'jal said, retreating into his armor like a turtle.
"C'mon, Skri'jal! Don't let her bully you around!" Twilight shouted.
"I'm not letting her bully me! I'm just hiding in this impenetrable armor until she goes away!" Skri'jal called from the depths of his armor.
"It's no use, Twilight. He fears his eldest sister more than beaches, swastikas, and clowns combined. Best just to let her tire out, and drag Skri'jal away afterwards." Lerisha said flatly.
"Or you could, you know, HELP?" Skri'jal called from the armor.
"Come on out, little bro! I'm just gonna break your arm!" X`iera taunted.
"No! If you want me, you psycho, you're going to have to pry me out!" Skri'jal said, poking his hand out of his armor to flip his "dear" sister the bird.
"You think I won't, birthday boy?" X`iera laughed. Suddenly Pinkie Pie spontaneously materialized out of nowhere between the two Mevixes.
"Did someone say BIRTHDAY?" Pinkie said as X`iera leaped back out of shock.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" X`iera Shouted as she clung to the ceiling like a big black lizard.
"Why didn't You tell me it your birthday, Skri-bee?" Pinkie said with mock disappointment.
"Frankly, the last thing I need's a murder charge and a heart attack." Skri'jal said.
"Since When was that a concern of yours?" X`iera said, climbing down from the ceiling.
"Since always, silly! I think you two need a proper party, ASAP!" Pinkie exclaims, readying her party cannon.
Pinkie pulled the cord and a mass of confetti smashed Into X`iera, lodging her in a wall.
"Why you little shit! I'll fucking gut you!" X`iera Shouted through her oaken prison.
"Don't bother. I swear she will just multiply in two if you tear her in half." Skri'jal said from within his armor. He wasn't coming out until his sister was gone or the day was over and she couldn't maul him.
"Sorry. Must still be set to Ultra turbo-crazy confetti ball." Pinkie said. She then began to dig around inside the artillery piece. "Here we are!" She cried. She disappeared into the cannon. The sounds of a ballistic soldierneer and the building of several level four dispentries could be heard shortly after. X`iera, who had just escaped the wall, looked into the cannon.
"What the hell Is she doing?" She asked. X`iera pulled the cord and a metric fuck ton of confetti, a twister mat, a punch table complete with punch and punch bowl, and Pinkie shot out and took their places in the room.
"All better!" Pinkie said as she landed. And as per usual she began to party despite the confusion caused by her usually unusual behavior. Even Skri'jal had to risk looking to see this. Even Twilight, who knew pinkie for at several years, couldn't help but stare at her antics. Especially, considering an unaffiliated demon stood in the same room at that second. This was beyond crazy. And all because some one said birthday one too many times. Pinkie continued to dance on the twister mat despite the looks she was getting. Skri'jal and X`iera looked at each other, then back to the dancing mare.
"The fuck?" Skri'jal said. Pinkie suddenly perked up.
"Come on! Join the party, guys! It's tons of fun!" She said. Suddenly she disappeared and reappeared under Skri'jal's helmet. "Besides! Your sister came all the way the way from hell just to see you! That's more than I can say for my sisters!" She rambled. Skri'jal knew he had to call bullshit.
"No. She came out here just to break my arm and kill everything she can." He corrected. Pinkie returned to the dance floor
"Suddenly I just want to go back to hell rather than deal with all this." X`iera said realizing how much madness and insanity Skri'jal had to got through on a daily basis for the past two months.
"I just wanted one year where I didn't have to put up with something insane. No terrorist siblings, no rampaging hell beasts, just me and Lerisha. But you just had to show up and ruin the one birthday I had where I was free to be normal." Skri'jal said with baleful contempt not even bothering to look at his sister.
"I didn't exactly ask to be summoned." X`iera retorted with equal hate.
"I never asked for my arm to be broken for the last six thousand, five hundred, forty three years. Guess what? Never got that wish." Skri'jal shot back.
"Well sucks to be you." X`iera said.
"Why are you fighting?" Pinkie said as her mane flattened.
"Because for the last six thousand, five hundred, forty three years I've had my arms broken by my sister." Skri'jal said only hate in his voice.
"Well you are the runt of the litter." X`iera said.
"Just because I'm the runt doesn't mean I need a broken arm every fucking year, you psycho." Skri'jal said bitterly.
"Wow. I haven't seen you this bitter since we first met when you got transferred up to lust." Lerisha said. She went over to the punch table while every one was distracted by the dancing pink pony and was leaning against it with a glass of punch. X`iera laughed at her brother's misfortune.
"Wow The Second Circle?" She laughed. Skri'jal Socked her again, costing her two and a half teeth this time.
"Wrong move, runt." she said as she spit out some blood and teeth. Pinkie restrained the psychotic devil.
"This is supposed to be a happy time! Not a hateful time!" Pinkie said trying to get the two belligerent, mean, and ornery devils to get along. Frankly, if it weren't for her blinding rage at that moment, X`iera would be impressed by the pony's superhuman strength.
"It's kind of hard to enjoy something when your arm is broken every time." Skri'jal said.
"Why do you keep breaking his arms? It's no fun with a broken arm!" Pinkie said
"Why not? I think it's fucking hilarious to see his arm in a sling." X`iera said. Skri'jal chose to keep his response to him self more or less. This brought out Lerisha's hate for devils (Skri'jal being an obvious exception).
"This is why I hate devils." Lerisha said Having been reminded of their mindless cruelty.
"You're not exactly good looking yourself either, bitch." X`iera said. This got a spiteful growl from Skri'jal.
"Since when the hell did you care, twerp?" X`iera said.
"Since you started talking about my girlfriend." Skri'jal said. X`iera burst out laughing.
"HA! What a joke! You're kidding me!" X`iera laughed. Pinkie released her because she was laughing so hard. Skri'jal looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.
"Twilight, unsummon my sister. NOW! Before I have an aneurysm." Skri'jal demanded.
"I don't know how!" Twilight said. Skri'jal facepalmed.
"Unless you used a goat when summoning her, then disrupt the ritual circle." Lerisha said. Spike got the idea and sprinted for the stairs. As soon as he reached the bottom, he flopped on the demonic sigil runes. The impact effectively disrupted them and sent the still laughing X`iera back to hell. Skri'jal walked to the door.
"I'm going to go lay down. Maybe forget about this disaster." He said. His annoyance evident.
"It wasn't that bad, Skri-Wee." Lerisha said. Skri'jal scoffed.
"Easy for you to say. You didn't have to put up with a terroristic sibling." He said.
"Tell you what, I'll let you be on top when we get back to your place." Lerisha said. A feint ding could be heard in Skri'jal's armored pants. Lerisha giggled at the speed of this reaction as they walked back to his place.
