> Thirty Moons
>  by MythrilMoth
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> New Moon: Exchange Students
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Princess Twilight Sparkle stood alone in the room housing the mirror that served as a portal to another world.

It was a strange world, strange and yet exciting, with its own versions of her very best friends, as well as so many other ponies she knew and cared for.

It had been several weeks since her journey to that other world. She had told her friends about that world, and what she saw there, though she felt she had very little to tell because her time had been so brief, her attention focused on reclaiming her Element of Magic.

She still often thought of the girls in that world, the wonderous and strange things she had seen...and him, of course. Oh, certainly Equestria had its version of Flash Sentry, but...in her mind, that Flash Sentry was the "real" Flash Sentry.

She idly wondered if that world's version of herself had ever found her destiny. In the weeks since her departure, she had thought about something the other Pinkie Pie had said; it was clear to her that there was another her, another Twilight Sparkle, who existed in that world, who had not yet found those destined to be her best friends.

While she had been busy over the weeks since the Princess Summit, she felt compelled to make a trip back to the Crystal Empire, to stand here in this room.

"I really wish I could go back and visit," she said to the empty room. She trotted forward to stand directly before the mysterious magic mirror. She stared at her reflection, at the sparkling Element of Magic embedded into her crown. "If only I had more time to study that other world..."

Her reflection shimmered, rippled, and swirled. Suddenly, she was staring at the hornless, wingless, small-nosed being she had transformed into, who was smiling gently at her. "I'd like to see your world. It must be so magical and amazing!"

Twilight blinked. "Wait...what?"

The Twilight in the mirror waved at her. "So you're the other me. The Pony Princess."

Twilight reared, eyes wide in shock. "What the huh?"

The Twilight in the mirror giggled. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Twilight edged closer to the mirror, wary and alert, head low. "I'm just imagining things," she said primly. "I'm tired and I'm thinking too hard about the other world and I'm imagining this."

"No, you're not. I'm really here. It's nice to meet you, Twilight Sparkle. I'm...well...Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight keeled over.

"Uhh...Twilight? Me? Pony me? Helloooooo....?"


* * * * *


Cadance, Shining Armor, Luna, and Twilight stood in the mirror room the following day. The others had been skeptical when Twilight told them what she saw, and she herself thought it might have been her imagination.

But now, all four ponies believed that Twilight's experience from the night before was real, because the Twilight Sparkle of the other world now stood in the mirror's reflection, smiling at them.

"How...how is this possible?" Luna wondered. "The portal is closed. Even when it was open, communication between the worlds was not possible, only transit!"

"I'm not sure either," the other Twilight said. "But then, I didn't even believe in magic until I saw the videos some of the freshmen put up on EweTube."

"Videos?" Twilight asked. "Somepo—err, somebody recorded our fight with Sunset Shimmer?"

"They sure did."

"But I thought she hypnotized everyone!"

"Only the ones who were inside the school. The ones who caught it on camera were late to the dance."

Luna coughed. "Is there anypony on your side who might know more about magic?"

The other Twilight shook her head. "Nobody I can think of. Like I said, magic isn't even supposed to be real here."

"So...Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and the others...they told you about what happened? About me?"

The other Twilight laughed. "They sure did! I had a hard time believing there was another me. I thought they were crazy until they showed me pictures and videos of you. You even had the same dog as me!"

"I'm curious," Cadance interrupted. "How did you come to discover you could speak to our Twilight?"

"Well, I was just looking at the statue in front of the school the other day," the other Twilight began, "thinking about everything my new friends told me, and wondering what the world the other Twilight comes from is like. Then suddenly, I saw a weird room in the mirror! I thought I was just going nuts, but I decided to come back after school, and it was still there. Then, all of a sudden, I saw HER. She was talking to herself, so...I answered. Since she's me and I'm her. I think."

Cadance frowned. "You didn't attempt to cross the portal?"

"Actually, I did," the other Twilight said, shaking her head. "But I couldn't. When I put my hand on the portal, it's just...I can feel something strange, like it's liquid instead of solid, but I can't push through."

Twilight frowned, trotting up to the mirror. "Mind if I try something?" She reached up and placed her hoof against the mirror. The Element on her crown flared, bathing the mirror in a bright amethyst glow. The other Twilight raised her hand and placed it against her reflection's raised hoof. The others watching gasped as hand and hoof passed through the glass.

Twilight gasped. "I'm...I'm touching your hand!"

"And I feel your hoof!"

Twilight stepped away from the mirror; her Element went dark. The other Twilight pulled her hand out of the portal and let it fall to her side. "That was amazing!"

Luna rubbed her chin with her hoof. "Hmm. I believe I understand. It would appear the Element of Magic has become linked with the other world, enough that..."

"Enough that what?" Twilight asked.

"Enough that..." Luna frowned. "The six Elements combined might be able to force open the portal once again, even though scarcely two moons have passed since its last opening."

The other Twilight gasped. "Could you really do that? Would it be possible for me to visit your world? And bring my friends?"

Luna nodded. "IF I'm correct. But I should discuss this with my sister. She needs to know what is happening here. And...I do not believe she would so easily agree to such a reckless act..."


* * * * *


"It sounds like a WONDERFUL idea!" Celestia said.

"It does?" Cadance asked, raising a hoof and blinking.

"The opportunity to study a culture from a world parallel to our own, and to be studied in turn...I find it strangely compelling," Celestia said. "But...there could be a great risk involved. And...we would need to take great care not to upset the balance of our two worlds."

"You mean only one person can come to Equestria?" Twilight asked, disappointed.

"I was hoping my friends would be able to come," the other Twilight pouted.

Celestia raised a hoof to silence the Twilights. "I never said anything about only one visitor. What I meant to say is that each world should send an equal number of visitors to the other."

Twilight looked thoughtful. "So...if the other me wants to bring her friends, then I could go back over there with all of my friends!"

"Yes, indeed," Celestia said. "But before you get too excited...there would be a catch."

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"You've already seen how dangerous the Element of Magic is to that other world," Celestia said. "Taking all six Elements of Harmony into the other world is absolutely out of the question."

"But sister...all six Elements would be necessary to open the portal," Luna pointed out.

Celestia nodded. "Twilight Sparkle and her friends would be able to open the portal long enough for the two groups to trade places. However," she said, "They would need to remove the Elements before leaving Equestria. They would not be able to open the portal from the other side, and I doubt it will remain open for a full three days."

"How long WOULD it stay open?" Twilight asked.

"With any luck? Long enough for everypony to make it across safely."

Twilight paled.

"BUT," Celestia said, "it would open again on its own in thirty moons." She fixed each Twilight with a serious, stern gaze. "If you truly wish to do this, everypony involved has to be absolutely clear on this: if you go through the portal, it will be thirty moons before you can return to your own world." She turned and cantered to the exit. "Think about this carefully," she advised.

After she left, the two Twilights looked at one another. Neither needed to say a word; both were thinking the same thing.


* * * * *


"Are you KIDDING?!"

Rainbow Dash dribbled a soccer ball on her knee, hands behind her head. A broad grin crossed her face.

The six girls had met up at Rarity's place; Twilight had explained to them the events of the past day, the sudden appearance of that other Twilight Sparkle in the portal, and the possibility that the six friends could visit another world.

"Whee! Road trip!" Pinkie Pie said, laughing. "It sounds like fun!"

"It...sounds dangerous," Fluttershy said, frowning. "But...then again, that other world has talking ponies, right?"

"I saw four of them standing around with the other Twilight," Twilight said. "Although they looked more like full-grown horses than ponies. All but one of them had horns AND wings. I couldn't help but think how unusual that is."

"Ah like horses," Applejack said.

"Oh, I love all kinds of animals," Fluttershy said. "I just don't know if all this going to another magic world thing is...well...safe."

"Well, I for one wouldn't mind getting to see that adorable little Spikey-Wikey again," Rarity said. "Oh, and the other Twilight, of course."

"Uh, Rarity?" Twilight said. "You won't actually be seeing her. I mean, not for very long. Once we're over there, she'll be over here, along with her friends—the pony versions of each of you."

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course."

"But still, a whole WORLD full of ponies..." Fluttershy said, somewhat dreamily.

"Yyyyyyeah, Fluttershy? When we go through the portal, we'll turn into ponies."

Fluttershy blinked. "We'll...we'll turn into ponies?" she squeaked.

Twilight nodded.

Fluttershy shot out of her seat in a blink. "WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!" she yelled.

Everybody stared at her.

"So hold up," Applejack said. "We'll turn inta ponies...an' them ponies'll turn inta us?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, exactly. And they'll take our places here, just like we'll take their places in Equestria."

"An' uh, just whut exactly're we supposeta do there?" Applejack asked.

"Well, I'm pretty sure our pony counterparts aren't too different from us," Twilight said. "I mean, except for the other Twilight being a magical princess. That's..."

"Hey, as long as pony me can handle all my teams and doesn't tank my grades, I'm all for it," Rainbow Dash said.

"Rainbow, dear? Your grades are already tanked," Rarity said.

"Yeah, toilet tanked!" Pinkie added, laughing.

"An' uh, just how long're we gonna be in that there pony world?" Applejack asked.

Twilight grimaced. "Thirty moons." The others stared blankly at her. She rolled her eyes. "About two and a half years."

Her friends' jaws dropped. "WHAT?!"


* * * * *


"Are you CRAZY?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "THIRTY MOONS?! Away from our homes and our lives and everything we love?"

"Ah don't feel right about leavin' th' farm for even one moon, let alone thirty," Applejack said, shaking her head. "Big Mac's already got too big a share'a th' work, Ah don't wanna put it ALL on him. An' then there's Apple Bloom..."

"Don't worry about it!" Twilight said. "Look...the other usses, the ones from that other world...they'll be coming here, taking over our lives. The other Applejack is a farmer just like you. She has the same brother and sister. You'll see them every day. She'll take over your chores on the farm. She'll miss HER Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom just as much as you'll miss yours, I'm sure, but neither of you will be all alone." She turned to Rarity. "There's a Sweetie Belle there too!" She smiled. "And guess what? Everybody in that world wears clothes ALL THE TIME. ALL. THE. TIME, Rarity!"

Rarity's eyes lit up. "ALL the time, you say? Hmm..."

Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. "And you'll be just as awesome there as you are here, and the other Rainbow Dash is the captain of every single sports team! And Fluttershy! The other Fluttershy loves animals just as much as you! She even has her own Angel Bunny!"

"Oh? That's...nice."

Twilight looked around at her friends, ears drooping. "Don't you see? This could be the greatest adventure we've ever been on! We've done so many amazing things together...this is an opportunity to be the first ponies to study a completely different world and bring that knowledge back to Equestria!"

The others looked at one another, a silent communication passing around the group.

"Can we sleep on it?" Rarity asked. "Could you just give us a little time to think about it?"


* * * * *


"Of course," Twilight said, twiddling her thumbs and rubbing the toe of one shoe against the floor. "I mean, this is a big decision, and there's lots of planning to do before we can even make the trip, and that's assuming the other me can convince HER friends to go along with this. Without them, this can't even happen at all." She looked at her friends, worry in her eyes. "You guys...I know you want to go. You're the ones who told ME all about Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle."

In the corner, the one person who had said nothing so far chuckled. "Take it from me...you girls should definitely go. How could you not want to go someplace so magical?"

Rainbow Dash shot the seventh girl present a glare and a frown. "If it's so great, why'd you leave?"

"Dashie...don't," Pinkie pleaded softly.

Dash looked away. "Sorry, Sunset."

Sunset Shimmer sighed. "It's fine." She shrugged. "I was wrong to leave. If I could've gone back with the Princess, I would have, but...I don't think I belong there anymore. Especially not after, well..."

"After you tried to invade Equestria with an army of zombie teenagers after you turned yourself and those two mooks of yours into demons with a stolen Element of Magic?" Pinkie asked. Then, she covered her mouth with her hands. "Oops. Sorry!"

Sunset snorted. "So I'm a bad girl. I'm trying to do better."

"We're getting off track here," Twilight said. "Look...I don't want to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do. Just...think about it, okay?"

Applejack smiled. "Course we will, Twi."


* * * * *


"—so now they want to come over here but for them to come over here we have to go over there and it sounds like a lot of fun but I don't want to miss the twins growing up and I don't know if the other Pinkie can handle all the stuff I do here because she might not even know what it is I do do here, or even where I doo-doo here, and..." Pinkie trailed off. "What do you think, Mrs. Cake?"

Mrs. Cake smiled indulgently. "Pinkie, you're an adult. You can make your own decisions. If you want to go on this adventure of Twilight's, then by all means, go! We'll manage just fine."

"But you'll come to see me off if I go, right?"

"Of course. We'll be right there with you. And I promise we won't let anything happen back here without taking a picture for when you get back. And when you come back, we'll throw YOU a party!"

Pinkie squeaked. "A welcome-back-from-the-other-world party sounds like fun!" She frowned. "But...you do know how long I'll be gone for, right? I mean, it's like...it's like a REALLY LONG TIME! I mean, will you even still remember me after all that time?"

Mrs. Cake rolled her eyes. "Who could possibly forget you, Pinkie Pie? Not me, not even in three hundred moons."


* * * * *


"Sweetie Belle, I have something important to tell you."

Sweetie Belle climbed up onto her sister's plush bed, giving Rarity her full attention. "What's up?" she asked.

Rarity was busily organizing a rack of her designs. "My friends and I are going on a trip. We might be gone quite some time."

"Yeah, I heard something about that. But that other Rarity's coming here, right?"

"Well, yes. And she also has a Sweetie Belle of her own, so the two of you should be just like the two of us."

"Well, maybe not JUST like," Sweetie Belle said. "I don't think any other Rarity could take the place of MY sister, no matter how alike she is."

Rarity smiled. "But...you'll be okay with this, I hope?"

"Sure," Sweetie Belle said. "I kinda wish I could go along. It sounds like a great adventure."

"Yes, but you will have a more important job. You'll be helping the other me settle in and keep things running smoothly while I'm away. I'm certain the other Sweetie Belle is going to be doing the same for me."

Sweetie nodded. "You can count on me, big sis!"


* * * * *


"Now Angel, you need to really help the other Fluttershy out, because if she's anything like me, well...she'll need it."

The white rabbit saluted.

"That's my little guy! I'll miss you so very much."


* * * * *


"Ah just don't know..."

"You should TOTALLY go, big sis!"

"Eeyup!"

"But...won't y'all be needin' mah help here on th' farm?"

"There's an Applejack from that other world comin' here, right? If she's as much like you as Twilight says she is, then we don't got nothin' t' worry about!"

"Y'all go on now," Big Macintosh said, rubbing Applejack's hat in her face playfully. "We'll be just fine. Say howdy t' me for me."


* * * * *


"So yeah, I'm goin' to this whole other world for a while. But don't go thinkin' you can slack off and be lazy just because I'm gone! I want 120% from you every day! If I come back and find out you've gotten weak and lazy, I'll kick your butt!"

Tank blinked slowly, placidly up at Rainbow Dash.


* * * * *


Six mares stood before the mirror in the Crystal Palace, surrounded by the friends and loved ones they would be leaving behind. On the other side of the mirror, they could see their human counterparts bustling around on the great lawn of Canterlot High, though it was difficult to tell exactly what was happening there.

"Alright, listen up, everypony!" Twilight said. "Don't take anything from here in Equestria across with you. I know I asked you all to pack bags, but those aren't for you. They're for our counterparts. Everypony who's here to say goodbye and welcome our guests, you'll have to help them get used to having hooves and walking on all fours. If what I went through is any indication, it'll be a while before they really learn how to get around. The same goes for you all. Walking on two legs and having hands is NOT easy, trust me! The other usses have bags packed for all of us, too. Be sure to take excellent care of what you're borrowing from them!"

"We GET IT already, Twilight," Rainbow Dash groaned.

Shaking her head, Twilight stepped up to the mirror. "Are you ready?" she asked the other Twilight.

"Yes. We're ready."

Twilight nodded and looked back to her friends, who each sported their Element. Nodding in satisfaction, she opened her mind to the Elements of Harmony, gathering their power at the single, brilliant point of pure energy upon her head. A swirling shaft of rainbow light poured forth from the six mares, striking the mirror, which began to twist and warp...

A wide, kaleidoscopic tunnel opened up in the mirror room.

Without another word, six ponies moved toward the shimmering prismatic vortex, while six human girls approached from the opposite side. As they met in the middle, a bright, shining light emanated from them...

The roomful of ponies saw six human girls disappearing into the eye-burning light of the vortex, while six ponies set hoof in the Crystal Palace for the very first time.

Celestia looked around at the new arrivals and smiled warmly. "Welcome to Equestria, my little humans."
> Phase I: I Wasn't Prepared For This
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Celestia looked around at the new arrivals and smiled warmly. "Welcome to Equestria, my little humans."

Six mares stood in the center of the room, each very familiar to the other ponies gathered.

Except that they were all standing upright on their rear hooves.

Unceremoniously, the six newly-ponified counterparts of the Element Bearers toppled over, landing in a heap on the floor with a mightly *whumpf*.

Celestia blinked. "Goodness..."


* * * * *


Twilight opened her eyes and climbed to her feet. "Is everypo—everybody okay?"

Her friends groaned. "Ugh...why's it so COLD here?" Rainbow Dash complained. She instinctively tensed and flexed her wings to take flight...and wound up flat on her face. "Ohmygoshohmygosh...my wings! Twilight! My wings I can't feel my wings I can't feel my—"

Twilight sighed, reaching down to haul the ex-pegasus up by the arm. "You don't HAVE wings anymore, Rainbow. We discussed this."

"Oh...oh yeah. No wings. Heh. Okay, I can...uh..." Rainbow's face fell. "I can't deal with this!"

"You can and you will," Twilight said with an encouraging smile. "You'll just have to take it one step at a time."

Pinkie Pie SPROINGED to her feet, bouncing around in a circle. "Oooooh! Look at this statue! I love this statue! And this school! It's so huge! And wow you all look so funny! Oh! Oh! Do I look like that too? Whoa! I do look like that, haha, AWESOME! You GUYS, this was the bestest idea EVER!"

Twilight rolled her eyes at the pink girl's antics. "Yep. ONE step at a time."

Rarity shuddered to life, gently curling her new appendages beneath her before cautiously rearranging herself. It took her a moment to figure out how to sit cross-legged on the ground, but she did so, looking up at her transformed friends and the crowd of curious humans standing around them. She looked down at herself, examining her limbs and her clothes. "Oh, I like," she said. She waggled her fingers. "But these are a bit...strange."

"Tell me about it," Twilight laughed. "It took me forever to get the hang of hands the last time."

Fluttershy shivered, rubbing her bare shoulders. "It's...so cold," she said as she gingerly rose to her feet, wobbling unsteadily before leaning on the statue for support.

Applejack pushed herself up to her hands and knees; Rainbow Dash was steady enough now to help Twilight haul her to her feet. The cowgirl looked around, adjusting her hat. "Hoo-eee, you weren't kiddin', Twi. This here's some wild place."

Principal Celestia stepped toward the group. "Welcome to Canterlot High School." She chuckled. "It feels so strange...welcoming a group of girls who I just saw leave."

"It can't possibly feel as strange as the first time I saw girls who looked like my friends," Twilight laughed.

"Oooh! We need to have a Welcome To Canterlot High party!" Pinkie exclaimed, now doing cartwheels around the lawn.

Celestia chuckled. "Our Pinkie Pie was way ahead of you," she said. "The party's set up in the gym. As soon as you all get your feet under you, we can head over there."

"Why's it so COLD?" Rainbow Dash moaned.

"Well, it IS winter," Twilight pointed out.

"Yeah, but...it's...winter isn't anywhere NEAR this cold back home!" the rainbow-haired girl complained.

"Excuse me...could-could I get something warmer to wear?" Fluttershy asked, shivering. "I'm freezing..."

Celestia frowned. "I'll admit it's a bit chilly today, but..." She glanced at Twilight. "Are your friends alright?"

Twilight's face was twisted up in worry and concern. "I...I'm not sure," she said. "It doesn't feel too cold to me. Applejack? Rarity?"

"It's a mite nippy, but it ain't too bad."

"I hadn't even noticed."

"Are you insane?" Rainbow shouted. "It's fuh-fuh-fuh-FREEZING!"

Twilight gasped. "OH MY GOSH! I understand! Principal Celestia, we need to get these two inside NOW! Is it warm in the gym?"

"Well, it's warmer than out here, at any rate."

"Good. You guys! Help get my friends inside!"

A group of Canterlot High students descended upon Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, escorting them toward the school while their friends pressed around, worried. Two boys wearing letter jackets draped their jackets around the girls' shivering forms.

"What's goin' on, Twi?" Applejack asked.

"Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are pegasi," Twilight explained.

"Well yeah, I know that. So?"

"So pegasi aren't affected by winter cold," Twilight reminded her. "It may not feel that cold to the rest of us, but to two ponies who don't even know what cold is supposed to feel like..."

Applejack's eyes widened. "Whoa nelly. An' without fur, they..."

Twilight sighed. "I hope they can adjust. It never even occurred to me this could be a problem."


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash examined her new wings in the mirror, tilting her head from side to side as she experimentally flexed and flared them. "This. Is. So. Awesome."

Fluttershy looked around at the crowd of ponies gathered around them, and her timid face broke into a wide smile. "Ponies...so many PONIES..."

Pinkie Pie bounced up to Celestia, looking her over. "Oh! Oh! I know who YOU are! You're Principal Celestia!"

"Err, Princess Celestia, actually," Celestia corrected.

"Oh yeah yeah, her too. How come you have wings AND a horn? How come TWILIGHT has wings and a horn? Can I get wings and a horn?"

Celestia chuckled. "Why don't you help your friends get their hooves under them for now. There will be time for questions later."

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

Rarity, hooves still trying to slide out from beneath her, nudged Rainbow Dash away from the mirror. "My hair. How's my hair?" She studied herself in the mirror seriously, then let out a relieved sigh. "Still gorgeous. Good."

On the other side of the room, Sweetie Belle nudged Apple Bloom. "That's DEFINITELY Rarity," she stage-whispered.

Twilight Sparkle rustled her wings as she stood, then approached Celestia and bowed. "Your Highness," she said. "Thank you for allowing my friends and I to visit your world."

"Think nothing of it, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia replied. "If there is anything I can do for you and your friends, you need but ask. In the meantime, we've prepared a reception for you all. Err, once your friends are confident they can walk on four hooves."

After some time, the sizeable group in the mirror room met up with an even larger group waiting outside, and the entire procession marched through long, beautiful corridors with impossibly high ceilings. As they headed...wherever they were going...Twilight studied a white-coated, blue-maned unicorn stallion for a long moment. "You seem...so familiar..." she said, trotting closer to walk beside him.

"I'm Shining Armor," the unicorn said.

Twilight's hooves gave out beneath her. "Sh—SHINING ARMOR?!" Her eyes were wide, her pupils constricted to narrow points. "No...it couldn't be..." The procession stopped dead in the middle of the hall, confusion upon many faces.

Shining blinked. "Well, yeah. You didn't expect to see me over here? I just assumed you'd have the same big brother my Twiley has."

Twilight shook her head frantically, not taking her eyes off the unicorn. "I...it's just...Shining Armor—I mean, my Shining Armor—he died, three years ago."

Shining reared in shock. "D-died?!"

"He was in an accident," Twilight said, her voice quiet. "Some guy on a motorbike wasn't paying attention, ran out in front of him. Shining swerved to miss him, and..." Tears gathered in her eyes.

Shining Armor's ears drooped. "Oh. I'm...sorry." He dipped his head. "Is me being here...too painful for you?"

"N-no, it's okay, I..." Twilight swallowed, trying to wipe her eyes and nearly poking an eye out with her clumsy hoof. "I was just surprised. I'm...I'm glad the other me still has her BBBFF." She put on a brave smile, and the group continued onward.

"Is there a Cadance in your world, Twilight?" Shining Armor asked.

"Cadance? You mean my old babysitter?" Twilight asked. "I haven't seen her since the sixth grade." She smiled. "She was nice." She paused. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, because Cadance is my wife in this world," Shining Armor said. "We got married about a year ago. She's waiting for us in the banquet hall."

Twilight's eyes widened. "You married Cadance?" She paused. "Waitwait. Was Pony-Cadance Pony-Me's babysitter too?"

Shining Armor nodded. "She was Twiley's best friend as a filly, other than me."

Twilight's face fell into a studious expression. "Then...if my brother hadn't died, maybe he'd have gotten together with..."

"We're here, everypony," Celestia said. Her horn lit up, and the massive crystal doors standing before them swung open...


* * * * *


The gym was crowded, noisy, and warm with body heat. The decor boasted a definite Pinkie Pie touch, and long tables were laden with drinks and snacks. A sound system had been erected at one end of the gym, and a pale-skinned girl with electric blue hair and large purple shades stood at the ready, hands on the turntables. A huge banner was stretched across the gym, hanging from the rafters, which proclaimed "CANTERLOT HIGH WELCOMES THE EQUESTRIANS".

Celestia ascended the bleachers on one side of the gym, joining her sister, who held a microphone connected to an amplifier. "Attention everyone!" she called out. "It is my great pleasure to greet our second group of visitors from the magical world of Equestria!" A wave of applause and cheers broke out at this. "I'm sure we all remember Twilight Sparkle from her first visit." More applause. "Well, she has returned, and this time she has brought friends. Equestria's versions of our own Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie have all joined Twilight Sparkle, and will be with us for quite some time, if I understand the situation correctly. Please, show them a true Wondercolts welcome!"

The entire assembly erupted into wild applause, and the DJ cranked up the sound system. The party was soon in full swing.

The jock who had given Rainbow Dash his coat appeared again, carrying two steaming cups. He offered one to each of the two shivering former pegasi. "Here's some hot chocolate," he said.

"Thanks," Rainbow Dash said. She reached for it...

"Hold it!" Twilight said. She accepted the two cups, and gently helped the two girls wrap their fingers around the paper handles. "Didn't want you to drop it. Hands take time to get used to."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said. She sipped her hot chocolate. "Mmm, this is so good."

"Wow, there's so many familiar faces here," Rainbow Dash said as she gulped down her drink. "You weren't kidding about how many of our pony friends are here too."

Twilight started to reply, but was cut off as she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and stared into the most gorgeous pair of eyes she remembered ever seeing.

"Welcome back," Flash Sentry said.

Twilight threw her arms around his neck, leaned up, and kissed him.


* * * * *


The ponified high school girls ooohed appreciatively at the huge, formal banquet hall. Guards bleated out a fanfare on trumpets as the procession made its way along a red carpet to the long banquet table. Most of the seats were empty; only a pink pony with vibrant tri-colored hair sat at the head of the table. At the opposite end, however, a tiny purple and green creature stood atop the table; at their entrance, he hopped down and scrambled up the carpet, beaming up at them. "Hey girls, miss me?" he asked.

"S-spike?!" Rarity gasped. "Is...is that really you?"

"Of course!" Spike replied.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Rainbow Dash said, blinking. "I thought that whole dragon thing was a total load, but you really are a dragon!"

"I never imagined a dragon could be so adorable," Fluttershy said, awestruck.

Twilight leaned down and examined the dragon curiously. "So you're Pony-Me's Spike?" she asked.

"Uh-huh," Spike replied, nodding. "Sorry I didn't meet you in the mirror room, but Twilight—err, my Twilight—had something important for me to take care of at the last minute."

"Is it normal for ponies to have pet dragons?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm not anypony's pet!" Spike replied indignantly. "I'm Twilight Sparkle's number one most trusted and valuable assistant!" He puffed out his chest.

"Oh, um...sorry," Fluttershy said, her mane curtaining her right eye as her cheeks flushed pink.

The new arrivals took seats at the head of the table, alongside the princesses, Shining Armor, and Spike. The rest of the procession seated themselves along the length of the table.

A spoon clinked against a glass of its own volition, wreathed in the aura of Celestia's magic. "Fillies and gentlecolts," she began. "It is with great pleasure that I officially welcome our visitors from the other world to Equestria. No doubt we will find that we have as many things in common as are different between us. I encourage everypony to make every effort to help these familiar yet different faces adjust to life in Equestria." She smiled warmly. The ponies cheered.

As waiters laid out serving dishes, Pinkie Pie looked up and down the table, then turned to Celestia. "So about the wings and horns thing..."

The princess chuckled. "Very well, I will explain the three races of ponies to you. And, I am sorry to tell you this, but as our Pinkie Pie had neither wings nor a horn..."

"Awww," Pinkie complained. "But storytime's good!"

"Yes, please tell us!" Twilight said. "After all, we are here to learn."

Celestia smiled. "So very like my faithful student. Very well. There are three races of ponies in Equestria: Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. Earth ponies—" here she gestured at Pinkie and Applejack, "—possess great strength and physical prowess, and a deeper connection to the land and the life which grows from it. Their magic is different in that it is largely passive. Using it is instinct, not conscious thought."

"Oooh, I have magic?"

"Not in the way you're thinking," Celestia said. "Earth pony magic is all about your connection to the very earth itself. It is why many Earth ponies are farmers." She paused to take a sip of tea. "Unicorns—ponies with a horn upon their head—have a different sort of magic, which is actively and consciously controlled." She demonstrated by levitating her teacup and making it hover in front of the attentive guests. "Most unicorns can use at least some basic magic. Some unicorns can perform more advanced feats. Almost all unicorns have a special type of magic or skill which is unique to them; it's generally related to their special talent."

"And pegasuseseses?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Pegasi can fly, walk on clouds, shape the weather, and are very resistant to cold temperatures," Celestia said.

Twilight frowned. "But pegasi only have wings, right? And not horns?"

"That is correct," Celestia nodded.

"But...what about me?" She asked. "And you, and..." She took a quick headcount. "There are four ponies here, myself included, that have wings AND horns."

Celestia chuckled softly. "Ah, yes. The Princesses of Equestria are a special type of pony, apart from the other races. We are called Alicorns. Alicorns possess traits of unicorns, pegasi, and Earth ponies, and wield powerful magic. Twilight Sparkle—that is, our Twilight Sparkle—was born a unicorn, but through great hardship and many trials of character and intellect, she discovered her true destiny. She became an Alicorn princess."

"So any pony can just become an Alicorn?" Rarity asked.

Celestia shook her head. "No, only those who possess the greatest magic and a unique destiny."

"Awww," Pinkie complained. "So I'm stuck on the ground and I can't move things with my mind? Bummer!"

Celestia laughed. "Your counterpart here has her own very...unique set of special abilities. And unless I am very much mistaken, you will inherit them during your time here."

Spike gasped. "Ooooh no. Not the Pinkie Sense. ANYTHING but the Pinkie Sense."

"Pinkie Sense?" Twilight asked, tilting her head. Just then, the pink mare's tail began to vibrate wildly.

"AHHH! RUN!" Spike cried, diving under the table...


* * * * *


Twilight's friends stared in slack-jawed surprise as their friend and Princess released the handsome blue-haired boy from her vacuum-sealed liplock.

"Wow," Flash said. "That was...quite some greeting."

"I've been thinking about you ever since I left," Twilight said breathlessly. "I mean, there's a Flash Sentry back home, but...he isn't you." She paused suddenly, blushing self-consciously, and released Flash, stepping back. "Um. Oh dear. I'm sorry."

"No, it's...it's okay," Flash said. "More than okay."

"But...I shouldn't have done that. I mean, what would the other Twilight think?"

Flash grimaced. "Yyyyyeah...the other Twilight. Ah. Thing is...I haven't really talked to her very much. Or at all, actually."

Twilight blinked. "Huh? Why not?"

Flash turned faintly red, looking away. "Because she isn't you."

"AWWWWWW!" Pinkie cooed, springing up between the two of them. "Aren't you just the keeeee-YOOOOOTEST couple?!"

"Oh, this is so juicy! Please, DO continue," Rarity said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Bleah!" Rainbow Dash made a show of pretending to vomit. "Enough with the mushy touchy-feelies, I'm gonna head over there and party down. Fluttershy, you coming?"

"Oh! Um. I...guess?" The shy girl seemed to shrink into her borrowed jacket, playing with the sleeves as she tried to make herself invisible.

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Whutever. HEY! APPLE BLOOM!"

A girl with a huge bow in her hair appeared in front of her. "You called?"

Applejack stared at her. "Huh. You look a little bit older'n mah sis back home. At least, Ah think y'do." She shrugged. "Anyhoo, wanna fill me in on th' Apple family o' this world while we get somethin' t' eat?"

"Sure. And you can tell me all about pony world!"

As the farm girls wandered off, Rarity caught another girl observing her out of the corner of her eye. Her hairstyle was unmistakeable. "Sweetie Belle?" she asked.

"Hi Sis. Um. I mean, Sis-from-another-world."

Rarity smiled. "Let's talk in private."

"Okay!"

Pinkie Pie bounced away to mingle, leaving Twilight and Flash Sentry alone together. "So, um, wanna dance?" Flash asked.

"I'd love to," Twilight said.


* * * * *


"This is such a beautiful palace," Fluttershy said.

After the banquet, Cadance and Shining Armor had taken the guests on a tour of the Crystal Palace. Celestia had excused herself to lower the sun (the guests had blinked in confusion at that), and Luna had made a similar excuse.

Now, the hues of sunset bathed the corridors of the palace. "A chamber has been prepared for the six of you," Cadance said. "Rest tonight. Get your bearings. Tomorrow, you'll take the train to Ponyville, where your counterparts live. Tomorrow, the fun—and the hardest part of adapting to our world—begins."

Once she had left, the ponified girls looked at one another.

"So?" Twilight asked. "What do you girls think?"

"I like it here!" Pinkie said. "But I can't wait to have a REAL party. I wonder if there's a pony version of Scratchie! That girl so knows how to party down!"

"That fancy banquet food didn't really do much for me," Rainbow Dash said. "I hope when we go to Ponyville, we can get some REAL food. Do you suppose there's a pony version of O'Burger's?"

"I doubt it," Twilight said. "Ponies aren't really known for being meat-eaters."

Rainbow's ears drooped. "You mean I gotta go veggie-dork? For two and a half YEARS?!"

"It won't be so bad," Rarity said, waving a hand airily. "So long as they don't expect us to eat grass and flowers and hay, I mean."

"We'd best get some shut-eye," Applejack said. "Ah reckon tomorrow's gonna be a big day."


* * * * *


After the party wound down, Celestia approached the six pony-girls. "You must all be tired by now," she said, digging her keys out of her purse. "I'll drive you home."

"Home," Twilight said, blinking. "You know, I'm not even sure where 'home' is here."

The principal smiled. "Well, lucky for you, I have access to all your information. My sister's already loaded the bags your counterparts left behind into her car. Come on, let's get you all settled in before it's dark."

Two hours later, Twilight Sparkle found herself sitting on a simple, soft bed with a lavender bedspread in a medium-sized room with a desk, a bookshelf, two chairs, a closet, a computer, and a television. Celestia had called it a "dormitory". Whatever it was, it was all hers, and she lived alone except for the little purple dog curled up in a wicker basket at the foot of the bed. Smiling, she thought wistfully of her own loyal assistant, and hoped he was okay back in Equestria.

She fished around in the bag this world's Twilight had left for her, and found a sealed lavender envelope with her cutie mark drawn on the front. She opened it carefully and pulled out a sheet of bright violet paper, upon which the other Twilight had written in indigo ink:

Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I hope you enjoy your time in our world, and I am looking forward
to learning everything I possibly can about yours. Please take
good care of Spike, I've had him since he was a pup. Don't give
him canned dog food, he prefers the really crunchy dry kind. I've
asked my parents to keep in touch with you; if you need anything,
money or a ride somewhere or just somebody to talk to, just call my
mom. Her number's in my phone, which I also left with you.

There's plenty of school supplies in the desk drawers, and I got
you a notebook you can use as a diary. I've always liked keeping a
diary of the things I learn and feel and do. I'd like to think you
do something similar.

We won't be able to see each other again for a long time, so please
take care of yourself.

Until we meet again,
Twilight Sparkle the Human

Twilight smiled, folding the letter and placing it back in its envelope. "Just like me, to think of everything." She had found the notebook in question with only a moment's searching, and was about to start writing down her thoughts about today, when there was a knock at the door. "Just a minute!" she called.

Putting aside the notebook and standing, she walked over and opened the door. Her eyes widened at who she saw on the other side.

"I thought we might catch up a bit," Sunset Shimmer said.
> Phase II: Breakfast And Lunch
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I thought we might catch up a bit," Sunset Shimmer said.

Twilight stepped back, arms folded, and allowed her former nemesis in. "So...how's it been going?" she asked in a neutral tone.

Sunset sat down and sighed. "I'm trying really hard. I never realized how much everyone here actually hated me until they weren't afraid of me anymore. It hasn't been easy."

"Did you think it would be?" Twilight asked. "You bullied and demeaned and threatened and tormented everyone here for a long time, Sunset. A load of apologies and a rebuilt wall—you did a good job on that, by the way—won't instantly fix years of wrongdoing."

"I know," Sunset said. She frowned. "Wow, you're being a LOT harsher than the day you left, you know that?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The Elements don't just affect their target, you know." Shaking her head, she said, "But it's good to know you're trying. And I've said all I'm going to about your past. I don't hold grudges."

Sunset smiled. "I'd almost forgotten how easily ponies from Equestria get over stuff. That's a big difference between here and there."

"Really? Because it seems to me that my friends here forgave you pretty easily."

Sunset looked away. "Yeah, well...you weren't here for the hard part. It was nearly three weeks before any of them would even look at me without any hostility. I'm still not really 'part of the gang'."

"Give it time, Sunset. Friendship isn't easy, but it's the most valuable thing you'll ever have. That's the most important thing Princess Celestia has ever taught me." Twilight shifted. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"When did the other me come to Canterlot High?"

Sunset laughed. "Oh man...that's a great story. I'll never forget the look on her face the day she showed up..."


* * * * *


Shortly after sunrise, the six Canterlot High girls in pony form were roused by the palace guards and summoned to the dining hall. Unlike the previous day, the atmosphere was far less formal, the table smaller and more crowded, and the food, much to Rainbow Dash's relief, more satisfying. The breakfast spread included oat pancakes with plenty of butter and syrup, several kinds of juice, coffee, and—to everypony's delight—freshly made, absolutely delicious cheese omelettes.

It was also a far messier affair, as while the guests had eaten very little the day before (and the princesses had been surreptitiously helping them eat), today they were starving...and having to learn how to eat like ponies.

"You eat eggs and dairy here?" Fluttershy asked as she took dainty bites from her overloaded plate.

"Well, yes," Cadance said. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Um, nothing, no reason," Fluttershy said. "Nevermind."

Cadance laughed. "What, you expected us to eat flowers and grass and hay all the time?"

"Well...maybe?"

"Okay, well, we do eat that stuff, but...we also eat muffins and fruit and cakes and such. There's nothing wrong with eating milk, eggs, and cheese. A little meat once in a while isn't too bad either, but we don't get carried away with that like griffons and such do."

Twilight blinked. "Whoa. Hold up. Ponies...eat meat?"

Cadance made a strange face, tilting her head to the side. "Eeehh...like I said, not often, but every now and then. Just...don't go around asking about it. Nopony really wants to admit it, and the other species like cows might be a little offended by the subject. But eggs and milk and cheese and butter? Everypony eats those things."

Once breakfast was concluded, Spike and Shining Armor led the six mares to the train station. They had mostly gotten the hang of walking on hooves, but this morning presented an additional challenge, for now they bore the saddlebags their counterparts had left behind.

"I'll be going with you girls to Ponyville to help you get settled in," Shining said. "Normally it'd be Cadance doing this, but, well...she can't really afford to leave the Crystal Empire for very long, as much as she wants to."

"Why is that?" Twilight asked.

"Well, she hasn't been ruling it for very long," Shining explained. "Less than a year, in fact. She hasn't quite gotten to the point where she doesn't need to be around all the time for things to run smoothly, like Princess Celestia."

"Do I—I mean, does Pony-Me rule anything?" Twilight asked.

Shining laughed. "Right now, the only thing Twiley rules is the library in Ponyville. I'm pretty sure Princess Celestia wants to give her something to rule, but..." He shrugged. "There's no rush yet. Cadance has been an alicorn for a long time, but only got a kingdom to rule after we got married. Twiley's only been an alicorn for about three moons."

"THREE MOONS?!" the visitors chorused.

"Yep."


* * * * *


A short while after sunrise, Big Macintosh had collected the Equestrians in his huge pickup truck and taken them to the Cakes' coffee shop, where Pinkie Pie seemed to have wasted no time learning her way around the kitchen and was already helping serve the morning customers even as she prepared a special breakfast for her friends. "Nobody seems to want the oat bran muffins, but they taste okay to me," Pinkie had said. "And they go great with these yummy sugary whipped-cream coffee drinks!"

Twilight and her other friends had to resort to force and threats of violence to limit Pinkie Pie to one Giddyup-size coffee beverage, fearing the result of that much caffeine and sugar coursing through her system.

As it was not a school day, Flash Sentry, Sunset Shimmer, and Big Macintosh showed the Equestrians around town.

"Too bad y'all missed th' holidays," Big Mac said as he guided his pickup through the light morning traffic. "It snowed on Christmas mornin' an' everything."

"Christmas? What's that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Big Mac spared her a glance, keeping a corner of one eye on the road. "Y'all don't got Christmas where y'all come from?"

"No, we don't. What's it about?"

"It's their version of Hearth's Warming Eve," Sunset said. "They all get together and sing songs and decorate a tree and get presents, and there's so many sappy Christmas shows on TV it'll make you want to throw up."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Well, if it happens at the same time every year, we'll be around for the next one. What other holidays are there in this world?"

"Way too many," Sunset said, rolling her eyes. "The only ones you'd really recognize are their version of Hearts And Hooves Day and Nightmare Night. They're actually at about the same time of year as back in Equestria, too."

"Well, at least ONE of us'll have plans for Hearts And Hooves Day," Rainbow Dash said teasingly, poking Twilight with her elbow.

Blushing, Twilight decided a subject change was in order. "You've been awfully quiet, Rarity. What's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh...nothing, really. I'll tell you about it later." Rarity smiled. "It's poor form to have girl talk when there are gentlemen present."

"So did anypony else have a total freakout when they saw their room last night?" Rainbow Dash asked. "There's so much stuff in my room I have no idea what it is, but it all looks so cool and awesome!"

"Where's everypo—I mean everybody stayin'?" Applejack asked. "Ah mean, Ah went home with Big Mac an' Apple Bloom, last Ah saw'a y'all was Principal Celestia drivin' y'all home."

"Well, I'm living in something they call a dormitory," Twilight said. "Rainbow Dash, aren't you in the same building as me?"

"Huh? Oh...yeah, I think so."

"I'm living with the Cakes!" Pinkie said. "Only they don't live in their shop like they do back home. We had like a super-long ten minute drive to work from their house."

"Well, I do live upstairs from the other me's shop, with Sweetie Belle," Rarity said.

"I have an apartment," Fluttershy said. "It's upstairs from a pet store. There's a dumbwaiter elevator that goes right down into the shop."

"It's so weird that only two of you live with your families," Flash Sentry said.

"It is?" Twilight asked.

"Well, yeah. High schoolers still usually live at home unless they're in boarding school or something. Who did you girls live with when you were ponies? Oh, and do ponies have high school too?"

"We have schools, but they're a bit different from here," Twilight said. "They're not as huge, and usually there are only one or two teachers. Well, except for in the big cities like Canterlot..."

"You have a Canterlot?"

"Yes. It's actually the capital of Equestria," Twilight said. "Princess Celestia lives in the castle there."

"Wow." Flash shook his head. "So back to where you all lived as ponies...?"

"Well, in Equestria, all of us are already working for a living, for the most part," Twilight said. "I live in and operate the library in Ponyville, Rarity has her dress shop, Pinkie Pie lives with the Cakes in their sweet shop, Applejack of course lives on her farm with her family, Rainbow Dash has her cloud house that's usually pretty close to Ponyville, and Fluttershy has her own little cottage..."

"Cloud house? Usually?" Flash glanced at the rainbow-maned girl, who laughed and nodded.

"I'm a pegasus back home," she said. "Not many of us live on the ground like Fluttershy. And cloud houses, well...they don't like to stay in one place too long, you know?"

"Eh...heh..." Flash Sentry said, chuckling nervously.

"You know, Pony-You is a pegasus too," Twilight said. "But he's a Royal Guard in the Crystal Empire, so I guess he sleeps in the guardhouse."

"You guess?" Flash asked.

"I uh, don't really know him very well?" Twilight laughed nervously.

"It's gettin' 'round toward lunchtime," Big Macintosh said. "Where's everybody wanna eat?"


* * * * *


"Ugh, I'm stuffed!"

"I'm going to gain ten pounds, maybe twelve, I just know it!"

Six mares, two stallions, one filly, and one dragon were gathered in the living room of the Apple family house. The new arrivals had just had a big lunch which mostly consisted of various apple-based dishes. By the time their train had reached Ponyville, it was already lunchtime, so Shining decided to lead everypony to Sweet Apple Acres first, grab some lunch, then give the new arrivals the tour of Ponyville.

"This is pretty much exactly like home," Applejack said, comfortably spread out on a worn-out old sofa. "Well, except there ain't a TV set."

At Shining Armor's confused look, Twilight quickly explained television. Shining was more bewildered by the time she was finished. "We don't really have anything like that here. Well, I mean, there's movie theaters, but..."

After spending a short while comparing notes on what did and did not exist in Equestria, the group headed out again for the proper tour of Ponyville. This time, Apple Bloom had tagged along to help with the tour.

"Everything's so cozy and cheerful here," Twilight observed. "It's so different from back home..."

"It's certainly very...homey," Rarity said.

Their first stop was Carousel Boutique, where Rarity was promptly beset upon by a disgruntled Opalescence. After a quick look around, Rarity's lips were pressed in a thin line. "Really, this other me...her dress designs are completely gaudy and tacky!"

"There certainly are a lot of precious gemstones on these dresses," Twilight noted. "Pony-Rarity must be pretty wealthy!"

"Nah, she just has magic that helps her find buried gems," Spike said. "Just one of the MANY things I love about her!"

Rarity blinked. "Magic that...finds buried gems?" Her eyes practically lit up. "DO tell..."

Next up was Sugar Cube Corner. None of Pinkie's friends were particularly surprised at how quickly she took to it.

Their next destination was the Golden Oak Library. "This is where Twiley lives," Shining said.

Twilight blinked. "Pony-Me lives in a TREE?!"

"Lives and works," Spike said proudly. "I help her keep the place tidy and organized, and we live upstairs from the library."

It took some time to reach Fluttershy's cottage. "Oh. I'll be living so far away from my friends," Fluttershy said. Spike walked up to the door and knocked. It opened, and a tiny white rabbit poked his head out. Fluttershy gasped. "Angel?!"

The rabbit hopped up to Fluttershy, nose twitching. After studying her, he rolled his eyes and went back inside, slamming the door.

"Um..." Fluttershy said, staring at the closed door.

"So where do I live?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Spike tilted his head. "Your house is usually floating somewhere over the east side of Ponyville this time of year," he said.

The pegasus blinked at him as if he'd just said she lived in a shoe. "Floating? What?"

Shining Armor facehoofed. "Cloud house?"

"Cloud house," Spike nodded.

"Oh boy. That's...going to be a problem."

Twilight frowned, looking back and forth between the two of them. "What's going on?"

"Most pegasi don't live on the ground," Shining explained. "Fluttershy lives on the ground because she has so many animals to care for, and the guard ponies in Canterlot and the Crystal Empire live in the guardhouses because it's required, but pegasi usually live in houses made out of clouds. That float. And don't always stay put."

The six mares' jaws dropped. "That's...crazy," Twilight said.

Shining shrugged. "It's just how pegasi live," he said. "But it might be a while before you can fly, Rainbow Dash, so..." He frowned.

"She can stay with me," Twilight said. "I mean, it looked like that tree had plenty of room."

Rainbow Dash pulled a face. "I dunno...I can't really see myself living in a library..."

"It's pretty much the best option you've got," Spike said.


* * * * *


After much arguing between the three natives, the decision had been made to eat at a place called O'Burger's. Except they didn't actually eat there; Big Macintosh had gone through something he called the "drive-through" and ordered food for the entire group. After a scrawny kid in the window who reminded Twilight of a colt named Pipsqueak handed Big Mac several huge bags of food and two trays with large paper drink cups in them, he'd driven to a nearby park. Flash had helped him spread a huge blanket out on the grass, and the group sat down for a picnic lunch.

"Huh. These aren't hay fries, are they?" Rainbow Dash asked, holding up a soggy, greasy strip of something that was probably a vegetable at some point. "They're too soggy and they taste a little weird."

"Hay fries?" Flash asked. "No, they're made of potatoes, not hay. At least, they're supposed to be. With all the grease, who can really tell?" He handed Dash several packets of ketchup. "Just drown 'em in this, it's better that way."

Fluttershy sniffed the sandwich she had just unwrapped, nose wrinkling. "Um, excuse me, I'm sorry to ask, but...what exactly is this?"

"Oh, they call that a burger," Twilight said, in that tone she used when she wanted someone to be impressed with her knowledge. "I tried two different kinds of those when I was here the last time. The first one didn't taste too different from an alfalfa sandwich, but the second one was like nothing I'd ever had before." She looked down at her own burger and unwrapped it. "I never did find out what was on it, but I liked it."

"Oh, okay." Fluttershy took a bite and chewed. "Oh my. This does taste yummy." After she took another bite and swallowed, she asked, "Flash Sentry, what is this made of?"

"Well, they claim it's beef," Flash said. "That's debatable, but it's SOME kind of meat or another. At least, I hope so."

The six new arrivals froze.

"This is meat?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, it—" Flash trailed off. "Uh-oh. Is this a problem?"

There was a long silence.

Fluttershy took another bite of her burger. She chewed, then swallowed. She looked around at her fellow ponies-turned-human. "Um. I won't say a word about this to anypony in Equestria if you don't."

Sunset Shimmer laughed. "You know, I've been here so long I don't even pay attention to what I'm eating anymore. Take my advice: don't worry about what it's made from. If it tastes good, just eat it."

"I don't even care what this is made of, it's AWESOME," Dash decided before chowing down. "Does all the food here taste like this?"

"God, I hope not!" Flash said, laughing. "O'Burger's actually isn't very good. It's just cheap and fast. Later on, we'll have to show you girls some of the good places to eat."

"If this is what you call not very good," Dash said with her mouth full, "I can't wait to see what you call awesome."


* * * * *


By late afternoon, the new ponies had settled into their new homes, all looking forward to what new surprises the next day would bring. Twilight stood before the stacks in the library, running her hoof across the spines of books as she read their titles. "I'm going to read every book in this entire library if it kills me," she said.

"Meh," Dash said with a bored look. She was sprawled out on a beanbag chair in the corner.

Twilight blinked. "Huh? What's this?" She had discovered a book that had a tag hanging from a cord placed between the pages. "Reserved for Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow looked up. "Huh?"

"Looks like Pony-Me's holding a book for Pony-You," Twilight said. With difficulty, she pulled it from the shelf with her hoof; it fell to the floor with a soft *whap*. She leaned down and examined the title. "Daring Do and the Gold Mask of Huatalongnametl?" The cover depicted a pegasus who looked similar to Rainbow Dash, except with different coat and mane colors, wearing an explorer's outfit. "Huh. Looks like Pony-You is into adventure novels."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Yeah? Well...maybe I'll take a peek later. If any version of me likes it, it must be pretty awesome."


* * * * *


As the group had parted ways for the evening, with Sunset showing the girls how to use their phones, and Flash helping Twilight add his number to hers, Twilight sat down on the bed in her dorm room with a happy, tired sigh. She espied the diary sitting on the desk, picked it up, and grabbed a pen from the desk drawer. She still wasn't used to the way one wrote using hands and fingers, but she tried her best, and after an hour of work, she had written a short, mostly legible diary entry.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned how to eat meat. It's tastier than you might think.
I learned a lot of other things too, but writing like this still hurts, so I'll
write it all down later. After all, we're going to be here a long time, so there's
no reason I have to write down everything I'm thinking right now.
Your faithful student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
> Phase III: Body Parts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following day, Sunday, was another day with no school. Flash and Sunset had each e-mailed the six Equestrians suggesting they spend a day getting used to just being human, to prepare for school the following day.

After breakfast, the girls gathered at Rarity's shop, which was closed for the day, the shades drawn over the windows and the door locked. Rarity seemed perturbed; Twilight remembered that something had apparently been bothering her the previous day. "What's up, Rarity?" she asked.

Rarity looked around at her friends and took a deep breath. "Ahem. Yes, well. Not to be indelicate, but...have any of you examined yourselves since we arrived?"

"Examined?" Twilight asked, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, have you actually looked at yourselves in the mirror. Without clothes, I mean."

The others blinked.

"Ah...hadn't really even given it a thought," Applejack said.

"Who's had the time to worry about stuff like that?" Dash asked. "The only thing I've done in my room is sleep. Besides," she added, "after losing my wings, freezing my butt off, and dealing with these hand thingies, I'm not sure I even wanna know what else is up with this crazy body."

"What's this all about, Rarity?" Twilight asked.

"Well, for starters," Rarity said, "this." She hiked up her skirt, gathering the fabric in her hands until her thighs and hips were completely exposed. She turned her bare hip to her friends. "Notice anything missing?" she asked.

The others blinked. "No Cutie Mark?" Pinkie asked. She turned to the full-length mirror and examined herself in much the same way. She gasped loudly. "Mine's missing too!"

"Maybe it's just somewhere else on your body?" Fluttershy suggested.

Rarity shook her head. "I've looked at every single inch of my body. No Cutie Mark." She frowned. "And there are other...peculiar things about this body, but I'm not entirely sure I even want to know about them."

Twilight frowned. "I didn't really have time to think about things like that last time I was here, and I only got undressed one time for about five minutes. We'll just have to ask Sunset Shimmer to come over and explain things." With that, she pulled out her phone and spent a few minutes awkwardly sending a text.

The others watched her, fascinated and disturbed. "You make that look so easy," Fluttershy said.

Twilight snorted. "Are you kidding? I barely even know what I'm doing. I'm still clumsy and awkward with these crazy fingers."

"Having hands isn't THAT bad," Pinkie Pie said. "Here, look what I can do!" She pulled a flashlight out of her hair, pointed it at the wall, and started making shadow puppets with her hands.

"Ooookay, that's...uh...very random," Rainbow Dash said after a few minutes of this.

There was a knock at the door. Rarity walked over and raised the blinds slightly. "I'm closed--" she began.

"It's me," Sunset said from the other side of the door.

"Oh!" Rarity threw the door open. "Goodness, that was fast."

"I was about a block away," Sunset replied.

"Sunset," Twilight said seriously as Rarity closed and locked the door again, "we need to know everything you can tell us about these bodies. Not just about hands, or how we can make do without magic or wings, but...well, everything."

Sunset raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk on her face. "Oh, this is going to be fun..."


* * * * *


"Good morning, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called as she trotted down the steps into the library proper. "Did you sleep well?"

"Ugh..." Dash called from the beanbag chair. "No, I didn't."

Twilight frowned, tilting her head. "Huh? Why not?"

Dash grumbled. "THESE things kept locking up on me," she muttered. It was then that Twilight noticed that Rainbow Dash's wings were fully flared out at her sides.

Spike padded into the room from the kitchen, took one look at Dash, and snickered. "Whoa. Wingboner."

"Wingboner?" Twilight asked, blinking. Then, her face turned red. "And how DARE you say 'boner' around a girl, that's rude and gross!"

"Huh? It is? Sorry, didn't know," Spike said, scratching his belly.

"Hey Spike, what do you mean by wing...uh...boner?" Dash asked, cheeks reddening slightly.

"Oh, it's when a pegasus pony's wings just...lock up like that." Spike shrugged. "Usually it happens when a pegasus is angry or excited, but sometimes it just kinda happens." He chuckled. "My Twilight's wings have been driving her nuts ever since she became an alicorn. She's had them for three months and she still gets wingboners when she's trying to sleep!"

"Yeah yeah great, embarrassing story about your best friend, now how do I fix this?" Rainbow asked, grumbling.

"I dunno. Just relax," Spike suggested, shrugging. "Think loose thoughts."

"Loose thoughts, huh? Great, thanks, that's a BIG help."

Twilight frowned. "Funny, I'm not having ANY problems with my wings." As if to emphasize the point, she gently, gracefully ruffled her wings at her sides before tucking them securely back into place.

Spike laughed. "That's so ironic! Because Rainbow Dash has the best wing control of any pony in Equestria, and Twilight can barely control hers!"

As Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry at Spike, Twilight frowned. "Spike? I don't suppose you can tell me how I'm supposed to use this thing?" she asked, indicating her horn.

Spike tilted his head. "I'm not really the best one to ask about that. But I'm sure one of the unicorn ponies in town can teach you and Rarity how to use unicorn magic! Or maybe you should ask Shining Armor when he comes around to check up on you."

"Hmm..." Twilight said, frowning. She shook her head. "Maybe we should just focus on breakfast first, then deal with all of this later." She grimaced suddenly. "On...second thought...there IS something I need to take care of...first..."

Rainbow Dash suddenly shot to her hooves, wings unlocked and clamped tight to her sides. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

As one, they turned to Spike and screamed, "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?!"


* * * * *


By the time Sunset Shimmer was finished, the faces of the six Equestrians were flaming scarlet.

"Wow. Um. Thank you, Sunset Shimmer, for that, ah, THOROUGH explanation about how human bodies work," Twilight said. "I, ah, think I'm just going to go totally die of embarrassment right now, so..."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What's the big deal, Twilight? I mean apart from the whole boobs thing, it's nothing any of us didn't learn when we were still fillies. It's just that it's all in different places now. And not even really all that different."

Sunset chuckled. "Yeah, Dashie's pretty much nailed it. Just get used to how bra hooks work, remember to carry a tampon or a maxi in your purse, and watch those skirts, and you'll be fine." She looked around at the group, then said, "By the way, one more thing you should probably know about..."


* * * * *


The six girls-turned-pony met up later in the day. Spike took great pleasure in regaling the others with the story of Rainbow Dash's wing problems.

"Ah always said you was a tomboy, Rainbow," Applejack joked.

"Huh? What's that have to do with--" Rainbow Dash's mind caught up to Applejack's implication, and she groaned. "Oh, you're SICK, AJ."

After that, the six decided to walk around town for a bit, observing the other ponies and how they worked and played. It was an enlightening experience, as they witnessed the myriad ways in which ponies seemed to be able to use their hooves in lieu of hands. They were particularly surprised when they encountered four ponies--only one them a unicorn--functioning as a string quartet. "Now how the heck're they playin' those with hooves?" Rainbow Dash wondered aloud.

"You know," Rarity said a while later, "now that I'm getting a bit more comfortable on my hooves, I have been noticing some peculiar things about these pony bodies."

"Such as?"

"Well, such as these, for starters," Rarity said, trotting up behind Fluttershy and tapping a hoof against her flank. Fluttershy skittered away from her hoof, face flaming.

"Um, please warn me before you go anywhere near that end of my body," she said softly, earning a snicker from Rainbow Dash.

"Sorry, darling," Rarity said. "But you all get what I'm talking about, right?"

"Oh, you mean those funny little tattoos on our butts?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Because I know I've seen those marks before, on our clothes and earrings and stuff back home!"

"Yes," Rarity said, nodding. "I recognized the symbols as well. Though I'm afraid I can't quite figure out why those symbols would be appearing on our bodies. Especially not there. And did you notice that all the ponies seem to have them?"

"They're called Cutie Marks," Spike said. "They appear when a pony discovers his or her special talent. The Cutie Mark represents what makes a pony special and unique." He frowned. "Although I'm a little surprised Rarity, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash even have their Cutie Marks in pony form," he said. "I mean, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie, yeah, you three are exactly the same as your pony selves, but...the rest of you, I mean the ponies, earned their Cutie Marks doing things that aren't even possible where you come from." He shrugged. "Oh well. Anyway, everypony has a Cutie Mark, except for the fillies and colts who haven't figured out their special talents yet."

"Well, since all these other ponies have cute little butt tattoos, then I guess we shouldn't really worry about it," Pinkie said.

"Wait," Twilight said. "What do you mean by 'they appear'?"

"They appear. Magically," Spike elaborated.

"What, just...on their own?" Rainbow Dash asked.

The little dragon nodded.

"Weird," Applejack said.


* * * * *


Dear Princess Celestia
Today, I learned way more than I ever wanted to know about this new body. I also
finally learned how to use the bathroom as a human, which is a major relief, because
the last time I was here, I just held it the whole time. I wonder if our other
selves will be as freaked out about estrus as we were about periods? I'm just
glad we learned about THAT ahead of time; imagine if Fluttershy had started her
period without knowing what was happening? I'm pretty sure she'd have died of fright!

There is still so much to learn here, and after today, I'm almost afraid to know
what tomorrow holds in store. But as long as I don't have to go through it alone,
I can handle anything this strange new world throws at me. I hope.

Your faithful student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
> Phase IV: Welcome to the Herd
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As usual, the Apple family was up bright and early. Apple Bloom had milked the cows and collected eggs from the chicken coop shortly after sunrise, and a half hour later the family sat down to a large breakfast of farm-fresh eggs, grits, and hay bacon strips. Applejack dug in with gusto. "T'ain't at all different from back home," she said. "Exceptin' this bacon. Y'all's bacon tastes jest a mite off."

"Really?" Apple Bloom asked, sniffing at a strip of bacon on her plate. "Smells okay to me. Big Mac, ain't this the same hay bacon as always?"

"Eeyup."

Applejack spat out a mouthful of milk. "Hay bacon?!" she asked.

"Well, yeah," Apple Bloom said. "Why, don't y'all got hay bacon in your world?"

"Well, we've got bacon," Applejack said. "T'ain't made outta hay, though."

"Really? What IS it made out of?" Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack started to answer, paused, looked at the curious little filly, and bowed her head to her plate. "Y'all really don't wanna know," she said, slurping up the hay bacon and chewing thoughtfully. "Hmm. Ain't too bad, actually." She paused for a sip of milk. "So, whut all we gotta do today?"

Big Macintosh frowned. "Well, there ain't never no shortage o' chores, but...you sure you're up to it just yet?"

Applejack snorted upward, stirring her bangs. "Just 'cuz Ah ain't y'all's Applejack, don't mean Ah ain't Applejack. An' y'all oughtta know that means Ah'm always up fer some chores. Now, Ah know there's gotta be all kinda stuff t' do. If'n y'all's farm is anythin' like th' farm back home, Ah reckon there's a whole mess'a stuff that needs fixin'."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh said. "If you're sure you're up for workin' today, Ah could use a hoof with th' fence on the southwest side."

"Lemme guess. Pulled up posts, torn up bobwire?"

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh replied, blinking. "How'd you know?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Ever blessed year we get at least one storm that tears up our fence somethin' fierce."

Apple Bloom blinked. "Y'all's weather teams blow down y'all's fences?"

Applejack shot the filly a confused look. "Weather teams? Huh?"

Big Macintosh intervened. "Apple Bloom, Ah'm thinkin' in her world, th' weather don't work the same as it does here." To Applejack, he explained, "Here in Equestria, pegasus ponies control th' weather. Ain't no rains or winds or thunderstorms or even snow that don't come straight outta Cloudsdale."

Applejack stared at him. "You wouldn't be pullin' mah leg, wouldja?"

"Nnnnope."

"You mean y'all control th' weather? Make it do what y'all need it t' do?"

"Eeeeyup."

"Well. Hot dang. If that don't beat all." She paused. "So then how did y'all's fence get tore up?"

"Stampede," Big Macintosh snorted. "Durn cows'll help make a mess, but you think they'd lift a hoof t'fix one? Nnnnnnope."


* * * * *


By seven-fifty, the six Equestrian "transfer students" stood just outside the gates of Canterlot High. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were bright-eyed and raring to go, but Fluttershy looked as though she might break down crying or run and hide any minute, Rarity had a glazed look in her eyes, Applejack had a look of dread on her face, and Rainbow Dash had bags under her eyes and a terrible case of bedhead.

Twilight frowned. "What's up with YOU girls?"

Rarity groaned. "I was up half the night trying to learn how to thread a needle without hurting myself," she said tonelessly. She held up a hand; her fingers were an absolute mess.

"Oh my goodness," Fluttershy said as she saw this. Forgetting her own nervousness, she dug a box of bandages out of her purse and quickly set to work bandaging Rarity's fingers.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "And you, Rainbow?"

"Overslept," Rainbow Dash said, yawning hugely. "Do we really gotta do this stupid school thing, Twi?"

"Yes. We do," Twilight insisted firmly. "By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle, we are ALL going to school."

Rainbow Dash groaned. "Figures the very first royal decree you'd ever make would be about egghead stuff."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You do know there are multiple sports teams here, and you're—well, the other you is—the captain of every single one of them, right?"

Rainbow Dash perked up. "That does sound awesome..."

Twilight chuckled. "And you, Applejack?"

The farmgirl sighed. "Ah never was much for schoolin'," she admitted. "Ah ride Apple Bloom about her report card, but to tell th' honest truth, about th' only thing Ah ever passed in school was gas."

"Oh, come ON, everypony!" Pinkie cried, bouncing up and down on the spot. "This is gonna be so much awesome fun!"

"Pinkie's right!" Twilight said, eyes bright and shining. She began to twirl on the spot, purple skirt flaring about her hips as she looked up at the gleaming horse statue that dominated the front lawn.

This is our first day
At our exciting new school

Oh I'm so excited!
Is it really all that cool?

But Ah'm a grown mare, an' this school stuff's for fillies!
But it's fun!
No, it's boring!
This is scary...
Ah feel silly!

Don't frown! Don't be down! I know you'll come around!
If you just—

"First bell's at 8:15 and you still have to get your schedules from Principal Celestia," Sunset Shimmer interrupted, having arrived unnoticed shortly after Twilight started singing.

Twilight let out a yelp. "Come on girls, we'd better hurry!"


* * * * *


"Thank you for making breakfast, Spike," Twilight said.

"Yeah, you rock, little guy!" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Heheh, no problem," Spike said as he collected the dishes to wash. "So, what are your plans for today?"

"I really need to learn how to do magic," Twilight said. "From what I've heard, I don't think Pony-Me can even wipe her hiney without magic."

"Wipe her...?" Spike wondered, blinking. "You know what, nevermind." He shook his head. "Anyway, I think I know just what book might help you. But I gotta warn you, it's written for little colts and fillies, so it might be a bit embarrassing to read..."

"Oh, I don't mind that," Twilight said, waving a hoof. "If it'll help me learn to use my horn, that's good enough for me."

"Right, I'll go pull it down for you after I finish the dishes," Spike said. "How about you, Rainbow Dash?"

The pegasus blinked. "I'm not really sure," she admitted. "I—"

There was a knock at the door. Exchanging confused glances, the two mares trotted out into the main library. "Come in?" Twilight called, slightly uncertain.

The door opened to reveal a pale blue pegasus stallion with a dark blue mane and tail. He was wearing some sort of blue and yellow costume which covered most of his body, and had a pair of goggles perched on his forehead. He favored them with an easygoing smile. "Mornin'," he said. "I heard Rainbow Dash was staying here until she gets used to her wings."

"That's right," Dash replied, blinking. "Umm...do I know you?"

The stallion chuckled. "Well, the other Rainbow Dash certainly does! I'm Soarin, of the Wonderbolts."

"Wonderbolts?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"We're an aerial stunt flying team," Soarin explained. "The most elite pegasus ponies in Equestria. Rainbow Dash is in our Academy." He grinned. "She's pretty awesome."

"Well, of course she is," Rainbow Dash said. "Any version of me has to be awesome. It's like a rule or something."

Soarin laughed. "Anyway, me and some of the others are curious about you, because this whole other-world thing sounds like a blast, but when I heard that you can't fly yet, I just had to drop everything and come to Ponyville." He ruffled his wings. "Soon as you're ready, come outside, I'll teach you how."

"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. "Later, Twi!"

As the two pegasi left, Twilight smiled and turned to find Spike waving a book at her. "Study time!" the little dragon said.

"You know, Spike," Twilight said, "I think life here is going to be great." She opened up the book, blithely ignoring its title (It's Okay To Play With Your Horn), and began to study the first lesson in unicorn magic.


* * * * *


"Good morning, girls," Celestia said. "How was your weekend?"

"It was...interesting," Twilight said.

"Well, I hope you're ready to find out just what it is girls your age do here," Celestia said. She passed two sheets of paper to each girl. "Here are your class schedules, as well as a map of the school for each of you. Now, while you will be taking the place of your counterparts from this world, you needn't worry too much about keeping their grades up. It's unfair of us to expect you to possess the same knowledge as the girls who you're substituting for, after all. However, I do expect you all to try your best at everything you do while here at Canterlot High."

"We won't disappoint you, Principal Celestia," Twilight said.

"I know you won't," the principal said with a kindly smile. "Now, your counterparts were instructed to leave all their schoolbooks in their lockers, and you'll find your locker number and combination written on your schedules. Your first class is in..." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "...five minutes. I suggest you get going."

As soon as the girls left, they compared their schedules. "Hmm," Twilight said, "looks like each of us has a class with at least one of the others at least twice a day. That's good."

"Whut's it like, goin' t' classes here?" Applejack asked.

Twilight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I...really wish I knew," she admitted. "The last time I was here, I, uh...never actually went to any classes?"

The others stared at her. "You," Rainbow Dash said incredulously. "Twilight Sparkle. THE egghead of Equestria. Whose entire life has revolved around studying. You came to another world, spent three days in a school the size of Canterlot Palace...and you didn't go to class?"

Twilight shrugged. "I was busy."


* * * * *


Fluttershy hummed happily to herself as she trotted around her counterpart's adorable little cottage, cheerfully feeding and nuzzling dozens of cute creatures. "Oh my goodness...you're all so fuzzy and wonderful and cuddly and adorable..." She turned to Angel Bunny. "Is this really what Ponyshy does all day long? Just takes care of cute animal friends and plays with them?"

Angel gave her a shrug and a nod which she took to mean "Pretty much."

Fluttershy's wings rustled happily. "I'm so going to love it here."


* * * * *


Fluttershy and Rarity had biology for first period.

"Alright, class, settle down. Now, if you'll just turn to page 104 in your text, we'll continue with last week's lesson on monotremes. And as it so happens, I brought a live specimen for the entire class to look at..." The teacher paused, looking into the empty cage on one of the countertops circling the room. "Hey, where's my platypus?"


* * * * *


Pinkie Pie smiled broadly at the wall-eyed pegasus mare who'd just trotted up to the counter. "Here you go, Derpy! One blueberry muffin, one banana nut muffin, and one chocolate muffin!" She placed a paper bag on the counter; the pegasus happily dropped her bits on the counter, reverently took the bag, and left.

Mrs. Cake blinked at the exchange. "She didn't even order! And you haven't even met her since you came here from the other world! How—"

"Eh, I had a hunch." Pinkie shrugged.


* * * * *


Pinkie Pie sat attentively in first period Theater Arts. The teacher was flamboyantly dressed; the stage lights reflected blindingly off of his platinum-blue hair and purple sunglasses. He clapped for attention, and the class settled down.

"Well," he said. "As I'm sure you all remember, our last rehearsal was rather dismal, some might even say it was garbage, and now our lead has run off to some magical fantasy pony world and left us with a girl who hasn't even read the script, and it's three days until you perform for your exam." He produced a large folding paper fan from his jacket and fanned himself. "What a dilemma."

Everyone turned to Pinkie Pie, giving her a variety of looks ranging from encouragement to consternation to open hostility. She grinned hugely. "Re-laaaaax, everybody! Plays are fun, and I'm the bestest of the bestest at fun things! I'll learn the script thingie in plenty of time for the exam!"

"Well...if you're sure," the teacher said.

"You can count on me, Mr. Toity! Pinkie promise!"

"Mmm...oh, very well." Hoity Toity tossed a script to the hyperactive pink pony. As she looked at the title, he added, "You'll be playing the part of Utena..."


* * * * *


Rarity stared around "her" workroom, nervously trotting in place as she studied the ponnequins bearing half-finished dresses, the enormous bolts of rolled fabrics, the trunks of fabulous gems, and the design sketches spread out on the work tables around the room. She chewed at her lip, tears welling in her eyes.

Sweetie Belle trotted in and tilted her head at Rarity. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Rarity blinked. "Sweetie Belle? Shouldn't you be at school?"

"I asked Miss Cheerilee to let me stay home today and help you get settled in," Sweetie said. "And you look like you could use it."

Rarity sighed. "I just...it just hit me that I don't know the first thing about making clothes for ponies," she said. "Or what the styles are, or...actually, now that I think about it, I haven't even seen ponies wearing clothes since we left the Crystal Empire!"

"Yeah, it's pretty much only the super-elites that wear clothes all the time," Sweetie said. "The rest of us only really bother for special occasions, like weddings or Nightmare Night."

Rarity frowned. "Then how does my counterpart stay in business?"

"Fancy ponies pay a lot of money," Sweetie said.

"I'm also a bit nervous about, well..." Rarity ducked her head, examining one of her counterpart's finished dresses on a ponnequin in the corner. "I'm sorry, it's just these dresses are so gaudy, and...is this really what's in style here?"

"Well, Hoity Toity buys big orders from Rarity all the time, so—"

Rarity blinked. "Hoity Toity? The drama teacher?"

"Huh? Hoity Toity's a famous fashion critic."

"Weird," Rarity said. "I wonder what other people I know do something entirely different as ponies..."


* * * * *


There was a fifteen-minute break between second and third period. The Equestrians gathered near the library to discuss their mornings.

"So how was everyone's morning?" Twilight asked.

"Boring," Rainbow Dash groaned. "The history teacher would just not shut up and his voice was so flat and...ugh."

"Well I've got a super-duper-important play to rehearse for in drama," Pinkie said cheerfully.

"Our biology teacher lost her platypus," Fluttershy said.

"Ah'm gonna flunk math," Applejack said. "Ah ain't got a head for numbers."

"Well I enjoyed my computer class very much!" Twilight said. Then, she frowned. "But Family Planning was boring even for me."

"Ugh," Rainbow said. "what was even the point of that class?"

"Ah ain't got that one on my schedule," Applejack said.

"You're lucky," Twilight replied.

Sunset had arrived in time for the latter exchange, and raised an eyebrow. "Which class?"

"Family Planning. Rainbow Dash and I had it last period."

Sunset snickered. "Seriously? Oh, I'm really going to enjoy watching you freak out over the egg baby assignment."

The girls split up to make their way to their third class of the day. As it so happened, Twilight had third period Literature with Sunset, Rarity, and Fluttershy. They were chatting lightly as they rounded a corner when Twilight collided with two girls. She fell on her butt, sprawling out on the ground with her books laying around her. "Sorry about that," she said as Fluttershy and Sunset helped her up.

"Like, watch where you're like, going," one of the girls said in a flat, bored voice. As Twilight got to her feet, she looked the girls over. They were obviously twins, with the exact same faces, hairstyles, and taste in clothes. However, they were also mirror images of each other. One had light blue skin and glossy pink hair, while the other had light pink skin and glossy blue hair. Both wore their hair held back by broad black hairbands. The blue twin wore a plum-colored blazer over a black blouse, with a black plaid skirt and black boots; the pink twin wore a black blazer over a plum blouse, with a plum plaid skirt and plum boots. Both twins had the same spiky white blossom crest upon their blazers.

"I said I was sorry," Twilight said as she studied the two girls.

"Really!" Rarity huffed. "It was an accident! There is no need to be rude!"

The twins ignored her. The blue one eyed Twilight up and down. "Are those like, your clothes?" she asked.

"Um...yes?"

The pink one snorted in disgust. "Like, you dress like, like a..."

"Like, lame-o dork," the blue one finished.

Sunset narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. "Back off," she said.

The twins rolled their eyes. "Like, whatever." They shot Twilight a poisonous glare. "Like, get in our way again? And we'll like, make you like, sorry you were ever like, born."

As they stalked away, Twilight watched them with a frown. "I feel like I've seen those girls before," she muttered.

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease, dahling. You were the one who told us how this world works, remember? Those two were clearly the twins who run the spa back home."

"Aloe and Lotus Blossom?" Fluttershy asked, eyes wide. "But...the spa ponies are very nice. Why would they be so...so mean in this world?"

"Were they even here the last time I came to this world?" Twilight said.

Sunset blew upwards on her bangs. "The Blossom Twins moved here about two weeks ago. Their mom is super-rich and owns a chain of day spas. Word has it they got kicked out of a private school in the city for bullying, so their mom moved from the city to build a new location here and enrolled them in Canterlot High." She snorted. "They're the nastiest girls in school. Everybody hates them." She looked away uncomfortably. "Watching them makes me realize just how mean and nasty I was. I'm amazed anyone wants to be my friend at all."

Twilight patted Sunset's shoulder gently. She frowned. "So wait, we went to all that trouble to reform you and put a stop to your bullying here, and then no time at all passed before two new bullies showed up?"

"There's an old saying the philosophy teacher here is fond of," Sunset said. "Nature abhors a vacuum." She shook her head. "Come on, we're almost late for class."


* * * * *


"Alright, so I just..." Twilight's brow furrowed in concentration as she focused her attention on an apple sitting on the table. Sweat beaded as she screwed up her eyes, trying to will the apple to move. A weak magenta glow surrounded her horn...

...and the apple rolled off the table.

"Well...it's a start," Spike said.

Twilight sighed. "This is a lot harder than I thought it'd be."

The window next to the front door exploded inward with a violent crash as Rainbow Dash catapulted into the room, rolling across the floor in a tangled ball of hooves and feathers before crashing into a bookcase, which began raining books on her head. She looked up woozily, eyes swirling.

"Rainbow Dash! Are you alright?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow groaned. "This is a LOT harder than I thought..."


* * * * *


With the exception of Rainbow Dash, the girls all had P.E. together for the last period of school. Unlike their other classes, which only had about twenty students to a class, P.E. had nearly fifty students, boys and girls combined. They were also given longer to get out onto the practice field because they had to change into their gym clothes.

Twilight and her friends grouped together as the students milled about, talking and stretching and horsing around. Shortly after the last stragglers had arrived, a shrill whistle blasted out, calling them to order. The P.E. teacher jogged up to the class. He was a truly massive man with bulging muscles, an impossibly thick neck, beady red eyes, and a close-cropped brush of stiff blond hair.

"Alright, you wimps, listen up!" he bellowed. "Principal Celestia fed me some load of crap about a bunch of fancy-prancy pony princesses joining my class." He fixed his beady eyes on Twilight and her friends; Twilight gave him a sheepish wave. "Well I don't know what she's on, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY!, gets special treatment in my class." He leaned into Twilight's face. "Is. That. CLEAR?"

"Yes sir, um, Mr., um...?"

"It's COACH! SNOWFLAKE! Now, ALL of you, five laps around the practice track, then a hundred push-ups! MOVE!" His whistle blasted again, and the students scrambled to obey.

"What's HIS problem?" Pinkie asked as she jogged alongside Twilight.

"Steroids, Ah reckon," Applejack said from Twilight's other side.

"Yeah, he's definitely got a major case of roid rage," Flash Sentry said as he pulled up alongside the girls. "You holding up okay?"

"Oh, you know! We're fine! Just fine!" Twilight said, smiling cheerfully.

"I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY LIPS FLAP! CHATTERBOXES GET EXTRA LAPS!"

"We'lltalkafterschool," Twilight muttered.


* * * * *


Applejack fanned herself with her Stetson as she finished re-stringing a section of barbed wire. "Whew! Y'all sure it's winter? Cuz Ah'm sweatin' somethin' fierce over here!"

Big Macintosh chuckled. "Hard work is sweaty work, and sweaty work is good work."

Applejack shook her head. "Yeah yeah, Ah know. We done here?"

"Eeyup. Let's get inside afore dark, it's right about suppertime." As they walked, he added, "Ah gotta admit, Ah'm impressed. If'n Ah didn't know better, Ah'd swear you were mah Applejack. You sure work as hard as she does."

Applejack grinned. "Ah tell ya, hooves aside, Ah feel right at home here."


* * * * *


After school, the girls met at Sugarcube Corner to compare notes on their first day of school and to help each other with their homework.

"What's that y'all got there, sugarcube?" Applejack asked as she noticed Pinkie Pie's unusually intense concentration.

"Script," Pinkie replied. "I'm the lead. Three days to learn my part."

"Need any help?" Twilight asked. "What's the play?" She peered over Pinkie's shoulder. "Which part's yours?"

"Utena," Pinkie said, not looking up from the script.

"Hmm..." Twilight opened up her laptop and went to the web browser, typing in "Utena". Within seconds, she was on a webpedia page outlining the basic story of the play. Her eyes widened progressively further as she read. "Uhh, Pinkie? Have you...read the whole script yet?"

"Huh? No, why?"

Twilight turned her computer so Pinkie could see it. After a minute, Pinkie recoiled in horror. "WHAT?!"

"Yeah. Good luck with that," Twilight said, shaking her head and laughing. Looking around at the others, she said, "Well, I won't pretend my first day of school was perfect," she said, "but for the most part, I enjoyed myself. What about you girls?"

"It was...nice," Fluttershy said.

"Borin'," Applejack said. "But Ah'll keep at it."

"Well, I had fun!" Pinkie said. "At least until I found out what this play's about. That other me must be loco in the coco to take the lead in something like that!"

"Lunch and team practice were cool," Rainbow Dash said listlessly. "Everything else was totally not-cool."

"Oh, you're all just looking at it the wrong way," Rarity said. "I agree with Twilight, this experience is going to be very interesting!"

"Thank you, Rarity," Twilight said. She looked at the others. "Look...I knew our first day here would be shaky. But, please, for me...give it another chance."

"Well of course we will, Twi," Applejack said. "Just cuz we liked some parts of it and didn't like others, that don't mean we wanna give up. That's what life is. Y'like some parts, an' some parts make ya wanna kick somethin' in th' teeth."

"Yeah, no worries, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said. "We'll be here for a long time, so we'll make the most of it!"

The six ponies-turned-human shared a group hug, then went back to working on their homework.


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash trotted tiredly into the library, mane matted with sweat, coat covered in mud and filth, pinions askew. "Ugh...I don't think I can even move my wings ever again," she complained.

"Rough day?" Twilight asked.

"Soarin's one hard trainer," Dash answered. A glass of lemonade appeared before her eyes, and she took a long sip through the straw peeking out of it. "Ahh. That's what I needed. Thanks, Twi..." She trailed off, noticing that the lemonade was glowing a hazy reddish-violet and floating in midair. She blinked. "What the?" She turned her gaze to the alicorn, who was beaming brightly at her. Her horn was glowing the same color as the lemonade.

Dash's eyes widened.

"Basic first-grade levitation spell," Twilight said happily. "What do you think?"

"I think you're an egghead," Dash snorted with a smile. "Keep that lemonade cold for me, I'm gonna take a shower."


* * * * *


Dear Princess Celestia,
Human school is a lot tougher than pony school. Also, I learned something important
today which I've been thinking a lot about. It's something Sunset Shimmer said to
me: "Nature abhors a vacuum." I've given that a lot of thought, and I think I under-
stand now why so many dangerous things keep showing up in Equestria. It's because
sometimes, bad things just have to happen in order to remind us why we're lucky to
have all the good things we have.
I also discovered that not all of our counterparts here are as nice as their pony
versions back home. But I can't help but wonder if some of the ponies who aren't
very nice back home might be a lot nicer here.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
> Phase V: Oral Exam
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


It was still night when Applejack woke to the crow of the rooster. She groaned as she turned grumpily in bed. "Stupid...malfunctionin' rooster..."

The rooster crowed again, and Applejack let out a frustrated groan, opening her eyes.

And immediately got a faceful of cow tit.

"GAAH! Whut'n th'..."

"Will you PIPE DOWN? Some of us are trying to sleep!" the cow snapped at her.

"An' some of us don't wanna wake up nose-deep in your stanky udder!" Applejack retorted.

"Well! I never!" the cow retorted indignantly. A sharp pain in her back, and Applejack found herself rolling across the barnyard, crashing into the low wooden railing around the cows' enclosure.

She heard a giggle from nearby, and looked up to see Apple Bloom peeking out from behind the water trough. Her eyes narrowed. "Apple Bloom..."

"Eep!"

When breakfast rolled around, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith were surprised to discover Apple Bloom's flank had been shaven, and her tail clipped. "Whut...?"

"That's what she gets fer prankin' me at three in the mornin'," Applejack groused.


* * * * *


By their fourth day as Canterlot High students, the Equestrians had started to get the hang of the routine. Every day they went to class, hung out at lunch, hung out after school, helped with each others' homework, compared notes on things they'd learned about this world, and found new fun things to do. Predictably, Twilight Sparkle spent a lot of time reading. Rainbow Dash had gotten into video games. Rarity frequently went window-shopping, trying to get a feel for the fashions of the human world. Pinkie Pie was engrossed in studying for the upcoming play, but also spent at least an hour a day making plans and preparations for the big party she planned to throw at the end of the week. Applejack and her brother took time to shoot pool when they could.

And then there was Fluttershy.

By Wednesday afternoon, Twilight had noticed that a lot of boys were approaching Fluttershy in the halls between classes and after school. She had been worried that she'd have to step in and rescue her friend, knowing that being crowded by unfamiliar people was bound to terrify the poor, shy thing.

What she hadn't expected, when she had wandered close to the group to linger protectively and pounce to Fluttershy's rescue if needed, was to hear Fluttershy laughing and flirting with the boys.

Flirting. Fluttershy.

As if that hadn't been enough, on Thursday morning, as the group (sans Pinkie, who had needed to arrive early because of the play) gathered at the gates before school, Fluttershy approached Rarity. "Rarity, I need your help," she said.

"Well of course, dear. With what, exactly?"

Fluttershy looked away bashfully, cheeks pink. "I need an outfit for my date tonight," she said. "I um, want to look sexy. Not too sexy! Just, um...cute sexy."

Rarity blinked. "A date?! YOU?!"

"Umm...yes."

"I...don't know what to say," Rarity said, jaw dropping. Behind her, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had similar expressions. "Who with?"

"Well, tonight I'm going out with Thunderlane," Fluttershy said. "Tomorrow I'm going out with the bass player from Flash's band...oh, I can't remember his name. And I don't know who I'm going to Pinkie's party with on Saturday..."

Rarity's jaw was scraping the ground by this point. "Huuuuuh?!"

"Whoa there, girl," Applejack said to Fluttershy. "Yer goin' out with guys you don't even know? What th' heck...?"

Twilight frowned. "Uhhh...Fluttershy? What...I mean...this...this just...it isn't like you at all."

"Maybe I don't want to be like me," Fluttershy said. At first, her head was ducked, her hair covering her face. Then, she forced herself to look up and face her friends with an almost defiant expression. "You're all enjoying this new world and these new bodies so much, and I want to enjoy it too. But how can I enjoy it if I'm scared of everything? How can I enjoy it if I just hide and wait for our time here to be up? So just for once in my life...I'm going to try new things, and I'm not going to be afraid. Umm...mostly."

"Well that's great, Shy, really," Rainbow Dash said, "but...dating a bunch of different random guys? Isn't that a little..."

Fluttershy blushed. "They think I'm pretty. I...I like that."

The others looked at each other. "Well...yeah, but...don't you think you're going a little overboard with this?" Twilight asked. "I mean, going out on dates is okay, but..."

Fluttershy frowned. "But they all asked me...and I couldn't hurt their feelings by refusing, and..."

Rainbow Dash groaned, rolling her eyes. "Okay, okay, whatever. Just be careful. You remember what Sunset Shimmer told us about our new bodies."

Fluttershy turned very red. "Rainbow Dash! I'm not...I'm not going to be doing that!"

Twilight got between the two ex-pegasi. "We know, Fluttershy. And...I think it's great that you're trying new things, and that you want to get over your fears. I just...hope you can really handle this."

"I can," Fluttershy said confidently. "Um...I think."

"And please, darling, whatever you do, don't go crazy on us again," Rarity said, shuddering. "I for one still haven't gotten over the last time you tried to change yourself. Assertive Fluttershy is one thing, but we do not need another visit from Mean And Nasty Fluttershy."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't be turning into that Fluttershy again," Fluttershy said. "This time, I just want to be Fun And Flirty Fluttershy."

As Fluttershy walked ahead of them through the gates, her friends looked at one another, expressions of impending doom on their faces. "This...cannot possibly end well," Rarity said.

Twilight sighed. "Now, girls. Maybe this is just what Fluttershy needs to develop some self-esteem." Still, she couldn't help but feel that Fluttershy was on the road to making one huge mistake...


* * * * *


//Now arriving at Ponyville Station.//

Among the many ponies who disembarked once the train's doors had opened was an elderly unicorn mare with a mint-green coat and a pronounced limp. She looked around at the busy streets of the happy little pony town and snorted. "Durn yung'uns..." A slight smile quirked her lips as she hobbled into the heart of Ponyville.

It took her almost half an hour, but she finally arrived at the Golden Oak Library. She knocked on the door and waited. After twenty seconds, she became impatient and began muttering unflattering things about young ponies wasting an old mare's time.

The door opened to reveal a tiny purple dragon. "Yes? Can I help—holy guacamole!"

"Oh, you must be Spork," the old pony said. "I'm lookin' for Try-Lack Spackle..."

The dragon facepalmed. "It's Spike, actually. And Twilight Sparkle."

"Yeah yeah, course it is, I ain't senile. Now where is she?"

"You're Jade Singer, right?"

"Huh? What gave you that idea?"

"The autographed photo of you and Twilight she keeps in her bedroom?" Spike suggested tonelessly.

"Oh. Heh. Well yeah, I am. Thought I'd take a day or two off, come visit the pony that got me back in the groove. Heard she's a Princess now, hope it hasn't gone to her head. If it has, I'll just have to bust her chops..."

Spike sighed. "Well...I guess you hadn't heard the news," he said. "Twilight went on a trip, and she won't be back for a long time."

Just then, Twilight Sparkle trotted up, a bag from Sugar Cube Corner in her mouth. "Hi Spike!" she said cheerfully.

Jade Singer raised an eyebrow. "Looks like she just got back," she said.

"Ah! Um! I mean..." Spike hemmed and hawed frantically. "I mean okay yes, this is Twilight Sparkle, but she's not the same Twilight Sparkle you met!"

Twilight stuck her head out of the library. "Spike? Shouldn't you be letting this pony inside? It isn't polite to keep the elderly on their hooves longer than necessary." She smiled at the elder mare. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Come inside. If you were looking for something in particular, Spike will find it for you. He's good at that." With that, she trotted back inside, disappearing around a corner.

Jade's jaw dropped. "What...just happened...?"

Spike sighed. "Like I said. I'm sorry you came all this way, Miss Singer, but the Twilight Sparkle you know is in another world. This Twilight Sparkle is taking her place here for the next thirty moons."

Jade blinked. "Other world? What's this garbage about, you young hooligan?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Why don't you write a letter to Princess Celestia and ask her. She'll explain it completely. I can send it right away..."


* * * * *


After the first period tardy bell, Principal Celestia addressed the school over the PA system.

//Attention students. At this time, all classes will be dismissed to the auditorium for a performance by the Theater Arts class. Because of this special activity, there will be no first or second period classes today.//

Cheers went up throughout the school as the teachers tried to organize their students into orderly groups to proceed to the auditorium.

Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Sunset Shimmer, and Flash Sentry all broke from their class groups to congregate, taking up most of one center row near the front. "So we finally get to see what Pinkie's been so wrapped up in, huh?" Dash asked.

Twilight twitched. "I have to warn you...I've researched this play. It's...somewhat peculiar."

As the last of the students finally took their seats, Hoity Toity stepped out on stage, fanning himself. "Good morning, everyone!" he called.

Rarity blinked. "Hoity Toity is a teacher here?"

The drama teacher swept his purple-lensed gaze over the assembled audience, then clapped his hands once. "Right, then! Our Theater Arts class has put a great deal of enthusiasm and energy into preparing for the play you're about to see, which incidentally is also one third of their grade for this term! The play you're about to see is a personal favorite of mine, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it! So without further ado...the Canterlot High Theater Arts Class—and I, Hoity Toity, director—now present for your enjoyment: Utena and the Rose Bride!"

There was scattered polite applause as Hoity Toity left the stage and the lights in the auditorium dimmed. The curtain rose...

Behind the curtain, a bright, elaborate backdrop had been erected of a cemetery with a nearby mountain. At the corners of this backdrop were four large, spinning pink cardboard roses. Students behind the backdrop began operating strange, life-sized cutout puppets of a faceless princess with pink hair and a tall, lavender-haired prince as a narrator offstage told of dead parents, great sadness, and the prince consoling the forlorn princess.

"And so, the prince gave the young girl a ring. 'This ring will lead you to me one day,' he said. Perhaps it was an engagement ring? But so impressed was she by the prince that the young girl vowed to one day become a prince herself."

The cutout puppets of the girl and the prince fell away and were replaced by a new cutout, of an older version of the girl, dressed in fairy-tale prince's clothes. "But was that really such a good idea?"

The curtain fell again; the narrator announced: "Act One: The Rose Bride."


* * * * *


"Well I'll be," Jade Singer said as she read Celestia's reply. "Magic portals and other worlds...that must be..." She frowned. "Could you call Twilight out here, please?"

"Sure thing," Spike said. He ran to the stairs and called for Twilight, who cantered down a moment later. "Is something wrong, Spike?"

"Come here a moment if you would please," Jade Singer said. "I need to know if this is for real or if Celestia is pranking me again." Twilight gave her a confused look, but trotted over and sat primly in front of the elder unicorn. Jade Singer's horn began to glow, and a magical aura surrounded Twilight. Her body became translucent; a ghostly image of her human form rose out of her, hovering in the air for a moment. When Jade ended the spell, the human image disappeared, and Twilight became solid again. "Well I'll be."

"What WAS that?" Twilight asked, eyes wide.

"Sorry about that, dearie," Jade said. "That was my 'Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover' spell. Usually I only use it on books, but sometimes it works on ponies too."

"And you used it to see this Twilight as she really is?" Spike asked. "That's amazing!"

"Yes, yes, nevermind that," Jade said. Her horn lit up, appropriating a pile of parchment, a quill, and several ink bottles. "Now, dear, tell me everything about yourself and the world you come from..."


* * * * *


As the curtain opened again, a new background had been erected on-stage: a matte painting of a palatial campus with spires and fountains and greenhouses and forests. At the front of the stage stood an archway topped with a rose crest. Two girls stood in the archway. One was Pinkie Pie, her hair straightened, wearing a red-trimmed black uniform jacket with brass buttons, red hot pants, red socks, and saddle shoes with little pink bows on top. The other was Scootaloo, wearing a green and white sailor uniform with ridiculously puffy shoulders and a broad, striped red necktie, white socks, black shoes, and overly large round glasses. "I'm Anthy Himemiya," Scootaloo said, bowing to Pinkie Pie.

"I'm Utena Tenjou," Pinkie replied, bowing as well.

A male student in a white uniform and a huge, curly green wig walked up to the two of them, and with no preamble, slapped "Anthy" across the face.

"HEY! What was that for?" "Utena" cried.

"Shut up!" the guy in the green wig said. "I'm the Vice President of the Almighty Student Council, Saiounji! Himemiya is my bride, and I'll slap her as much as I want!" To prove his point, he slapped "Anthy" once again, knocking her down.

"Knock it off, or I'll beat you up!" "Utena" declared.

"Oh really?" "Saiounji" asked. "Then let us go to the forest...and fight!"

The curtain fell again, and two girls wheeled a screen made of black-painted plywood and pink-colored sandwich wrap onto the front of the stage. The lighting changed to silhouette them as they went through a series of ballet poses behind the screen.

"Did you know? Did you know? There's a duel in the forest!"
"But the rules for duels in the forest are very strange!"
"Do you know? Do you know what they are?"

The girls rolled their screen off into the wings again as the curtain rose. The background had been changed again. Now, a large model of a castle hung upside-down from the rafters. "Utena" and "Saiounji" stood facing one another, "Utena" holding a bamboo sword. "Anthy" walked onto the stage, now wearing an elaborate red dress with huge, puffy skirts. She pinned a rose to "Saiounji's" uniform, then to "Utena's".

"Good luck," she said to "Utena". "Saiounji" slapped her again, knocking her to the ground. He then reached down and pulled a sword out of her chest. The two duellists sparred back and forth for a few minutes, dancing across the stage, until "Utena" knocked the rose from "Saiounji's" uniform.

"You won!" "Anthy" said, bowing to "Utena". "Now we're engaged!"

"Utena" stared at her. "Huh?!"


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash returned from a flying lesson to discover Twilight deeply engrossed in telling an elderly mare all about their world and their school. The old pony was frantically taking notes; there was already a stack of filled parchment piled up next to her chair.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called, waving. "Do me a favor! Go round up AJ, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy! Jade Singer here wants to talk to all of us about our world!"

Dash blinked. "Really? Okay. Back in a few!"


* * * * *


"Act Two: Utena Fights Everyone Who Wants To Slap Anthy."

The second act of the play consisted of Pinkie, as "Utena", fighting a series of pretend duels against half a dozen students in white uniforms and crazy wigs, with "Anthy" wearing the huge red dress, and "Utena" pulling the prop sword out of her chest at the start of each "duel". The duels were interspersed with nonsensical dialogue about eggs, ammonites, and the apocalypse. Each actor who challenged "Utena" slapped "Anthy" at least once.


* * * * *


It had only taken Rainbow Dash twenty minutes to round up her friends and bring them back to the library. Jade Singer introduced herself to all of them, then explained that she was a friend of Princess Celestia and the Equestrian version of Twilight Sparkle. She was deeply interested in hearing all about the world they came from, and so they agreed to sit and talk for as long as she liked about what things were like back home.


* * * * *


"Act Three: Utena Falls In Love With The Rose Bride."

The final act of the play was not terribly different from the second, except that it featured far more dialogue between "Utena" and "Anthy". The final duel was with "Saiounji" again. After he lost, he tried to slap "Anthy", but "Utena" swung her sword at his shoulder. The student actor did a fairly convincing job of pretending to have been maimed; a bloody severed arm prop fell out of his jacket with a thud and a burst prop blood packet sprayed fake blood everywhere.

"Utena" then threw down her sword, gathered "Anthy" in her arms, and kissed her passionately.

The lighting changed; casting them in silhouette as they kissed for far longer than some members of the audience were comfortable with.

"And so, Utena, the girl who dreamed of becoming a prince, and Anthy, the Rose Bride who everyone loved to slap, fell in love and lived happily ever after."

"Utena" slapped "Anthy".

"The End."

The stage lights went dark and the curtain fell. There was scattered applause from the student body. Twilight and her friends were looking back and forth at each other in bewilderment. "What the heck did we just watch?" Applejack muttered.

The entire cast filed out onto the front of the stage, taking a bow. There was more polite applause.

"Thank you, thank you all!" Hoity Toity said. "Oh, what a MARVELOUS performance from our Theater Arts class! I hope you all enjoyed our presentation!"

The students were dismissed, and informed they had a twenty-minute break before third period. The Equestrians and Flash Sentry congregated near the vending machines.

"Okay, just for the record? I'm totally weirded out that Pinkie Pie just kissed Scootaloo in front of the whole school," Rainbow Dash declared.

"I can never unsee what I've just seen," Rarity said.

"I think Principal Celestia needs to have a little talk with Hoity Toity," Twilight said. "That little 'play' was kind of..."

"Wronger'n a chicken tryin' ta do a donkey's taxes?" Applejack suggested.

"Oh...oh my..." Fluttershy squeaked, staring at her phone. "It's...it's already on the Internet..."

Rarity turned green. "Gah. It's already got fifty thousand hits. Just...GAH!"

Pinkie walked up, still in costume, but with her hair returned to its normal bouncy puffiness. "Hi everyone!" she chirped. "Did you enjoy the play?"

Her friends looked around at one another.

"Honestly?" Applejack said. "It was..."

"Interesting," Twilight hedged.

"Very...different," Rarity supplied.

"Um, it was...nice," Fluttershy said.

"Oh, who are we KIDDING?" Rainbow Dash cried. "Pinkie, that was the most UN-AWESOME thing I've ever seen!"

Pinkie sighed. "Yeah, it was pretty bad. If I hadn't promised to give it my all because they were totally depending on me, I would NEVER have done that!" She plunked two coins into a vending machine and bought a cola. "And I dunno what Scootaloo had for breakfast, but GAH! Bleah!" She chugged her soda, then bought a pack of gum from the snack machine. "I wish I could brush my tongue with bleach." She sighed. "Come on, we've gotta get to class."


* * * * *


"So, how are you all adjusting to life here in Equestria?" Jade asked as she rested her horn for a few minutes.

"I'd say fairly well," Twilight said. "I'm still learning basic magic, but it's going well. Rainbow Dash's flying lessons are coming along well."

"For me, it's almost like Ah never left home," Applejack said. "Th' farm's not much different than back home."

"I'm really enjoying playing with all of my new animal friends," Fluttershy said.

"I get to spend all day baking cupcakes and tasty treats!" Pinkie said.

"You do that back home anyway," Rainbow pointed out.

"I know!" Pinkie cheered.

"Well, I'm still having difficulties," Rarity admitted. "It's taking me longer than I expected to adjust to what passes for fashion here, and actually working in the boutique is a different matter entirely." She fidgeted. "I'm trying very hard to get the hang of basic levitation, because there's simply no way I can even thread a needle with these hooves..." She shook her head. "HOW does the other me do such elaborate, intricate work without proper fingers?"

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon, Rarity," Twilight said.

"These 'hands' you girls speak of seem awfully convenient," Jade said. She examined her own hooves. "Why, I bet writers in your world can type ten times as fast as they can here!"

"How the heck do ponies who aren't unicorns write, anyway?" Pinkie asked. "I mean, I've seen Mr. and Mrs. Cake write up orders by hoof or by mouth, but...I can't even figure out how to hold a quill!"

Jade laughed. "You'll get used to it, dear. You girls are having to learn things in a short amount of time that other ponies just grow up learning naturally. You can't expect everything to be perfect right away." She smiled. "I'll bet your counterparts from here are having just as much trouble in your world..."


* * * * *


After school, Fluttershy went to Rarity's boutique. "So, Fluttershy...you want me to come up with a date outfit that's, how did you put it? Ah yes...'cute sexy'. Is that right?"

"Um...yes, please. If it's not too much trouble."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Let's see what we can do. Though I must warn you, I'm still not completely adjusted to this world's fashions..."

The next hour passed in a blur of skirts, tops, shoes, and accessories. It took forever to find an outfit that Rarity felt confident in and which Fluttershy also approved of. By the time they were done, it was less than half an hour until Fluttershy's date.

"This is perfect," Fluttershy said. "But, I don't know how well I'll be able to walk in these shoes..." She frowned. "Shouldn't I wear boots instead? I'm already accustomed to boots..."

Rarity waved a hand airily. "You wanted sexy, darling. Those shoes not only compliment your outfit perfectly, they're far more sexy than any of the boots I could've matched with that skirt." 

"Well...a-alright..."

And so it was that Fluttershy stepped out for her first date as a human, wearing a short, tight forest green skirt, a sleeveless light pink top, a green jacket with her cutie mark embroidered near the hem, and emerald green slingback pumps.

"Have a good time!" Rarity called. "And do be sure to tell us all about it tomorrow! Oooh, or text me after!"


* * * * *


The sun had long since set by the time Jade Singer finished questioning Twilight and her friends about life in their world. When at last she was done, she'd stuffed several dozen scrolls into her saddlebags, and her eyes were bright. "Well, I certainly appreciate you girls' taking time to talk to this old mare!" she said.

"Oh, it was no problem," Twilight said.

"But what are you going to use all of that for?" Rarity asked, tilting her head.

"Why, I'm going to write a book about that other world of yours!" Jade said, grinning. "Why, this might even outsell my first book!"

"Well...we look forward to reading it, ma'am," Twilight said.

"Well, I'd better catch that last train back to Canterlot so I can get a good night's sleep and start work bright and early," Jade said. "It was nice meeting all of you!"


* * * * *


Dear Princess Celestia,
Today Pinkie Pie was in a very weird play where she kissed Scootaloo, and we found
out that Fluttershy has apparently decided the way to build up her self-confidence
is to date as many boys from school as she possibly can.
I'm starting to wonder if coming to this world turned my friends weird.
Your concerned faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
> Phase VI: Finding Your Niche
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fluttershy had noticed something fascinating about the human world's version of ponies she knew from around Ponyville and Cloudsdale.

She had first noticed it when she met Vice Principal Luna. She had honestly not recognized the woman as Luna at first; while Fluttershy herself and her friends mostly had skin and hair colors resembling their coats and manes as ponies (aside from Applejack's odd peach coloring), Luna had been unrecognizable with her pale blue skin and much lighter hair. After she'd met Luna, she'd begun paying attention, and found that the human versions of a number of ponies she knew had lighter, reversed, or just plain different coloration than their pony selves.

One afternoon, she'd discussed it with Rarity, who was the only other pony likely to be as attentive to it. Rarity had also noticed, and agreed that it was odd. It also made certain humans they'd known for years as ponies difficult to identify.

This was why when Thunderlane had first approached her and began chatting her up, she hadn't even realized it was him; he'd sported a skin tone similar to Applejack, but tended to wear dark gray clothes, and his dark gray hair, styled in a stiff flat top, was frosted silver-blue on top.

Not long after Fluttershy left Rarity's place, Thunderlane picked her up in his dark blue convertible. They'd gone for a little drive around town, during which he attempted to amaze her with stories of his achievements on the football field. She only half-listened; such things bored her, and she really hoped sports wasn't the only thing Thunderlane could think of to talk about.

They ate dinner at a place called Pizza Nut, where Fluttershy found herself far more interested in the food than in her date. After that, she'd been forced to sit through an incredibly stupid movie called Punchy Vs. Kongzilla, which was about a middle-aged, brain-damaged boxer fighting a giant fire-breathing half-dragon, half-ape monster.

After the movie, Thunderlane had wanted to go somewhere and, if she understood correctly, just sit in his car doing nothing. His company had already been boring enough that she politely but firmly insisted that she needed to be home at a certain time, that she had homework to do, and that she was tired. Thunderlane was visibly disappointed, but didn't press the issue, and drove her home.

It was shortly before ten in the evening when Fluttershy finally said goodnight to Thunderlane, ignoring his attempt to collect a goodnight kiss, then slowly climbed the stairs to her second-floor apartment. She fumbled for a minute with her keys; once the door was unlocked, she reached along the inside wall and groped around for the light switch.

The overhead lamps attached to the twin ceiling fans flared to life, flooding the empty apartment with light. Taking a moment to lock the door and toss her purse onto the living room sofa, she slipped off the cute yet uncomfortable shoes she'd worn that night. Holding them by the straps in one hand, she padded barefoot to her bedroom, where she carefully placed them on the shoe tree in the closet. She then stripped off her clothes, folding them into the hamper, which was rapidly filling up. She frowned; it would soon be time for her to learn where and how humans did laundry.

Rubbing her bare arms against the chill of the night, she walked briskly into the bathroom, where she gathered up a washcloth, shampoo, and body wash, then stepped into the shower and slid the frosted plexiglass shower door closed. It took a moment to get the water temperature from the faucet just right before she pulled up on the stem that would turn on the shower; she let out a faint yelp at that first blast of freezing water from the showerhead before the hot water diverted, pelting her body with welcome drops of soothing warmth.

Showering as a human had quickly become a guilty pleasure for Fluttershy. While before she had always been a clean and well-groomed pegasus, there had, certain spa visits notwithstanding, seldom been more to a bath than simple cleansing of the body. Now, however, it had become a thrilling experience. She enjoyed the feel of the water on her smooth skin, the slickness and slippery texture of wet bare skin as she lathered herself with fragrant body wash. There was also something enticing, almost naughty, about the feel of her body's graceful curves beneath her hands as she cleansed every inch. She took note of the reaction every part of her body had to the water, to the lather, to her own touch. It was a wonderful, powerful thing. She wondered if her friends had discovered how wonderful and pleasurable the simple act of showering was, but she couldn't bring herself to ask them; she felt that the level of satisfaction she derived from the act was somehow taboo, and most definitely something very private.

As she let the warm water course over her soapy body, carrying away the lather, sweat, and dirt, she examined her hands. The others frequently complained about these slender, spindly, wiggly appendages that had replaced the hooves they'd known all their lives. She, however, enjoyed them; they offered a range of movement and tactile sensation that were so alien to her, strange and yet inviting. Among her friends, she had thus far become the most adept at using her hands. Even Twilight Sparkle, the most brilliant pony she knew, was clumsy and awkward with her hands, even though she'd had prior experience with them, however brief. No...Twilight could still barely hold a pen, typed so slowly it was painful to watch, and complained incessantly about the loss of her magic. Meanwhile, Fluttershy had already developed beautiful, flowing handwriting, typed quickly and precisely, and could text almost as rapidly as Sunset Shimmer.

Alone among her friends, Fluttershy was far happier in this smooth-skinned, wingless, hoofless body than she had ever really been as a pegasus.

Turning off the water, she allowed herself to drip dry for a minute before stepping out onto the cold tile floor. She wrapped a large, thick terrycloth towel around herself, then leaned backwards over the tub and wrung her long hair out. She wrapped her hair up in a second towel, then padded out into the hall to turn on the heat. Quickly returning to the bathroom before she could drip all over the house, she methodically dried her body and hair as quickly and completely as she could. Hanging the towels to dry, she walked from the bathroom to her bedroom, where she stood naked for a moment, admiring her body in her full-length dressing mirror.

Yes...from her flat nose to her cute little toes, and everything in between, Fluttershy loved her human body so much more than her old pony body.

With a smile, she rounded up a pair of cotton panties and her warm pink flannel pajamas. It had been a long day, and she was ready to curl up in her warm, comfortable bed for a good night's sleep.


* * * * *


It was late in the evening, and all of her cute little friends were asleep in their cozy warm beds, but Fluttershy was wide awake. Seeing as her counterpart had quite a book collection, she decided to read until it was time for sleepies. "What's a fun book to read before bed, Angel Bunny?" she asked to the one animal friend who was still awake.

Angel gave an apathetic shrug and turned back to rearranging his bedding.

Fluttershy scanned the titles on the bookshelf. "Hmm..." She espied one book that was ever so slightly askew, and had a very shiny spot on the leather spine. "My goodness! It looks like the other me reads this book a lot...it must be an excellent book!" She reached for it, placing her hoof on top of the book to pull it down from the shelf.

Angel turned, saw her, and let out a panicked yelp...or would have, had he been capable. Instead, he opted for shooting straight up into the air, ears straight up and eyes wide in alarm.

The book tilted down...there was a click...

Fluttershy eeped as the bookcase swung open like a door, revealing a hidden stairwell. "Oh my goodness...what's this?" Swallowing nervously, she descended the metal staircase behind the secret door into a basement room she never would have imagined existed.

At the base of the steps, she stepped on a switch; she felt it click beneath her hoof. All around the room, lights flickered on.

Fluttershy gasped. "What...what in the world...?!"

That was when she became aware of the giant, enraged dragon, mere inches from her nose.

She screamed.


* * * * *


"So how was your date last night?" Twilight asked Fluttershy without preamble as the girls assembled at the gates before school.

Fluttershy frowned. "Boring," she said. "Thunderlane...well...he's a very nice boy, and all, but...he just doesn't have much of a personality."

Her friends blinked at this frank character assessment. "Ooookay," Rainbow Dash said. "Then again, he doesn't exactly have much of a personality back home either."

"That isn't a very nice thing to say about someone," Twilight admonished with a frown.

"You've never spent more than five minutes around Thunderlane," Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"So, you givin' up on this whole datin' thing?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, not at all," Fluttershy said. "Just because one date didn't go well, doesn't mean it'll always be like that. I'm hoping Flash's friend...um..." She struggled to recall the boy's name.

"Bobbi," Twilight supplied. "His name is Bobbi Gibson."

"Right," Fluttershy said. "I'm hoping he'll be more interesting than Thunderlane."


* * * * *


Applejack walked into the kitchen to see one of the strangest things she had seen since arriving in Equestria.

Big Macintosh wasn't wearing his yoke. Instead, he was wearing a sedate black suit jacket, a white dress shirt, and a dark green necktie. "What's with th' fancy duds, Big Mac?" Applejack asked. "Big date?"

Big Mac grimaced as he adjusted the knot on his tie. "Gotta go t' th' bank today," he said. "They're up an' playin' dirty with th' mortgage we had t' take out last year t' put up them new barns. Ah gotta go down there an' set that banker what's messin' with us straight."

"Ah'll go with ya," Applejack said.

"Nnnnope," Big Mac said. "No offense, AJ, but dealin' with th' bank requires a cool head, an' you're so much like mah AJ..."

The mare grimaced. "Ah can keep mah cool," she said. "Ah just wanna be useful as Ah can, an' that means Ah gotta know what's what 'round here."

Big Mac sighed. "Alright. Best go get gussied up, then. Makin' th' right impression goes a long way, an' Interest Rate's a real jackass."


* * * * *


At lunch, Twilight and her friends were grouped together as usual. Twilight was engrossed in the reading assignment for her Literature class. Suddenly, her friends' chatter trailed off, and a shadow fell upon the table.

"Twilight Sparkle," an obnoxious voice rang out, laced with an all-too-familiar arrogance. "Legend tells that you profess yourself to be the very Element of Magic, and the most powerful magical force the world has ever known!"

Twilight blinked, looking up. She groaned. "Seriously?"

"WELL?!" the blue-skinned girl looming over her demanded, slapping her palms on the table. "Is it true? Do you proclaim to be a mighty magician?"

"Well yeah but not right now," Twilight said. *Great. Juuuust great.*

Really, though, she told herself, she should have expected this. After all, she already knew this world had...

The girl flipped her platinum blue hair back with a haughty expression. "HA! Then you admit that you are a fraud? That you possess no special talents whatsoever? That indeed you cannot possibly compare to..."

"Here it comes," Rainbow Dash muttered in a bored tone.


"THE GREAT! AND POWERFUL! TRIXIE!!"


"Oh, shut up," Applejack said, yawning. 

"The Great And Powerful Trixie will NOT shut up!" Trixie shouted. By now, the entire cafeteria had turned to watch the spectacle. "Twilight Sparkle! You WILL face Trixie in a battle of magical skill! And Trixie WILL prove that you are in fact less than nothing!"

"I thought they didn't even have magic here!" Fluttershy whispered, panic in her voice.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "It isn't real magic," she said. "Just silly tricks with rigged props and sleight-of-hand. And The-Great-And-Pants-Peeing-Dripsie here isn't even good at it."

Overhearing this, Trixie turned red with fury. "Trixie did NOT pee her pants!" she shrieked. "Trixie spilled her lemon soda! And Trixie IS a great magician! Trixie's feats of prestidigitation and illusion are far beyond your feeble comprehension!"

Twilight frowned. "Sunset," she whispered, "do you think I could learn to do these magic tricks?"

"In your sleep," Sunset replied with a smirk.

Twilight grinned and stood up. "Fine, Trixie. You're on. Two weeks from tomorrow."

Trixie sniffed indignantly, pointing her nose up. "You do not set the terms."

Twilight smirked. "Then my friends and I will buy up all the peanut butter crackers in the vending machine. Every. Last. One."

Trixie paled. "You...you wouldn't!"

"Try me," Twilight said.

Trixie trembled in rage. "Well...then...FINE! Two weeks from tomorrow! Then you will cower at the feet of the Great And Powerful Trixie!"

As Trixie walked off, the normal buzz of conversation returned to the cafeteria. Twilight's friends stared at her. "Uh, Twi?" Applejack asked. "Why're you lettin' yourself get goaded by that lunatic?"

Twilight shrugged. "If she's anything like the Trixie back home—"

"She totally is," Pinkie said.

"—then there's no way she'd give up until she goaded me into a fight. Best to get it over with."

"Ah guess that makes sense," Applejack said.

Rainbow snorted. "Puh-LEASE, Twi," she said. "You just wanna kick Trixie's butt again."

"No I don't!" Twilight said.

"Yeah you do."

Twilight paused. Then, cheeks slightly pink, she admitted, "Okay, yeah, I kinda do."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "I'm sensing a history here..."

Twilight blew upward on her bangs and opened her mouth to explain...

"Back home Trixie's a weak silly useless prancing showpony unicorn who can only do cheap flashy showpony magic that isn't good for anything but she has like a really really huge ego so she showed up in Ponyville trying to impress everypony but we just thought she was a nut but she said she'd vanquished an Ursa Major so then these two dumb colts who were falling all over her went and woke up an Ursa Minor and brought it to Ponyville and everypony freaked out and Trixie was so scared she nearly wet herself and then Twilight put it to sleep and sent it back where it came from and then a couple years later Trixie showed up again to challenge Twilight to a magic duel only this time she had the Alicorn Amulet and she got really really REALLY NASTY and put everypony in Ponyville through hell and took away my mouth but Twilight tricked her into throwing away the Alicorn Amulet and then she turned over a new leaf and left town and nopony's seen her since," Pinkie said in a hyper rush.

Sunset blinked. "The Alicorn Amulet? Why didn't I think of that?!"


* * * * *


Interest Rate really WAS a jackass. Literally.

The well-groomed donkey sat behind a large, expensive desk with an electric lamp on the corner, a spotless ink blotter, trays for incoming and outgoing paperwork, and the fanciest abacus Applejack had ever seen—not that she'd seen many, seeing as the abacus was massively outdated technology in her world.

Interest Rate was going over a sheaf of paperwork, the tiny, gold-rimmed glasses perched on his nose gleaming. "I'm sorry, Mr. Apple," he said. "As I've told you, with the current state of the lending market, the projected lack of growth to your business, and growing interest in imported apple futures..." He shook his head. "I'm afraid that the modified terms of your mortgage agreement stand. Now, if you'll excuse—"

"Now hold up there," Applejack said.

Interest Rate blinked at her, frowning.

"Now Ah ain't no math whiz, but Ah got horse sense t' spare, an' it seems t' me you're mighty quick t' overlook a few things."

"Oh?" the important donkey asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Applejack," Big Macintosh warned quietly.

"No, no, let her speak," Interest Rate said.

"First of all, that junk about 'imported apple futures' is a load o' cow patties," Applejack said. "Ah happen t' know for a fact that ain't nopony in Ponyville sellin' apples but Sweet Apple Acres. Ever'pony what sells apple goods, like th' jams an' jellies at Barnyard Bargains an' th' baked apple treats at Sugar Cube Corner? All them apples come right off our trees. An' you know why? It's because th' whole apple trade's run by th' Apple family, an' our cousins ain't gonna horn in on our turf, jus' like we ain't sellin' outside Ponyville unless we just hafta. Now, as t' growth? Ah'll give you that one, but that's only because our business grows with Ponyville itself, seein' as how all o' Ponyville buys our apples. We can't sell more apples than ponies can use. That's just plain sense. Now, th' stuff about 'state o' th' lendin' market'? Now that's just you bein' greedy. You're th' only bank in Ponyville. You ARE th' lendin' market. That means you're makin' your own rules about how much you charge ponyfolk t' do business with you." Applejack leaned across the desk. "An' I'll tell you what I know about you, Mr. Rate. You don't give a heap about apples, but you love carrots. Well, us farmers stick together. An' Sweet Apple Acres has been here as long as Ponyville. Heck, we made Ponyville. Without us, all th' other farms 'round these parts wouldn't be in business. Now, how good a deal do you think you'll get on those bulk carrot orders o'yers if Ah happen t' tell Golden Harvest how you're screwin' Sweet Apple Acres?"

Interest Rate turned pale, sweat showing through his sparse coat. Big Mac stared at Applejack, jaw agape in shock.

"So here's what Ah think. Ah think you're gonna drop that interest on th' mortgage t' about ten percent less than th' original agreement, an' reduce our monthly mortgage payment by...oh, let's call it a hundred bits." Applejack smiled coldly at the banker, eyes narrowed in triumph. "That sound about right, Mr. Rate?"

The donkey coughed. "Ahem. Yes. Well..." He shuffled a number of papers nervously. "It does seem I failed to factor in certain information in my decision...perhaps an amendment is in order..." He scratched furiously on a piece of parchment, made some calculations on his abacus, then wrote up a new mortgage agreement and stamped it. He slid it across the desk. "I believe this is a more satisfactory arrangement, is it not?"

Big Macintosh picked up the document, read it, and nodded. "Eeyup."

"Yes. Good. Very well. As always, your business is appreciated here at Ponyville Savings And Loan. Good day..."

As the Apples left the bank, Big Macintosh turned to Applejack. "Jes' one question. How?"

Applejack responded with a shit-eating grin. "Let's just say back home, Ah get top marks in Economics class..."


* * * * *


Applejack felt like a drooling idiot as the Economics teacher droned on about things she couldn't even begin to understand.

If math was bad, Economics was sheer torture. About the only thing in the textbook that even remotely made sense to her was the "law of supply and demand", although the way it was written was confusing and contrary to her own experience (which basically boiled down to "everypony demands we supply apples"). She didn't understand anything about credit, investments, diversification, inflation (maybe she should ask Pinkie Pie about that one), stock options, commodities (she was pretty sure that didn't involve outhouses), or any of the hundred-odd other things the book went on and on about.

"—and that is why you should never let the tax man into your home unless you're armed," the teacher said. The class chuckled.

*Ah'm in trouble.*


* * * * *


Twilight was studying her third book on magic this week while Spike reviewed the other Twilight's schedule. He frowned. "Hey, Twilight," he called. "You've got an appointment scheduled this afternoon." He grimaced. "Guess Twilight forgot all about it, or she'd have cancelled it."

"What kind of appointment?" Twilight asked.

"Cooter Rooter," Spike replied.

Twilight's eyes bugged out. Across the room, Rainbow Dash, who was taking a break and reading, spat out a mouthful of lemonade. "WHAT?!" the pegasus shouted, laughing wildly.

"He's the town marecologist," Spike said. "Every mare in Ponyville sees him twice a year. Just a regular routine checkup."

Rainbow Dash was still laughing. Twilight was beet-red. "Um. Yeah. Reschedule that. For about...oh...three years from now."

"You...really should see Dr. Rooter," Spike said. "Both of you, actually. You're gonna be ponies long enough that you'll need to deal with...stuff." He sighed. "How about if I move the appointment to next month? By then you'll have been a pony long enough to be less uncomfortable with it."

Twilight shuddered. "Okay, fine. Next month." She groaned. "Ugh. Gynecologist visits are embarrassing enough back home..."

"I'll bet you never left the clinic with new car smell down there," Rainbow Dash muttered.

Twilight fell over. "WHAT?!"

Rainbow's face turned an interesting shade of purple. "Nevermind!"

Any further discussion of the matter was mercifully aborted by a knock at the door. Twilight rolled her eyes and trotted over to open it. Shining Armor was standing on the other side; Twilight smiled brightly at him. "Shiny!" she said happily.

"Hey Twiley," Shining said. "Sorry I haven't been by more this week; stuff came up at home and I couldn't get away." He rolled his neck with a grimace. "Anyway, I brought somepony who wants to see you."

Shining stepped aside, and a mare walked in. She was noticeably older than Twilight, with a very light lavender-grey coat, a violet mane with white streaks styled almost exactly like Twilight's own, and pale blue eyes. Three purple stars graced her flank.

Twilight's eyes widened. "Pony or not, I know that hair anywhere," she said. She swallowed heavily; there was a lump forming in her throat. In a tiny, quavering voice, she asked, "Mommy?"

Twilight Velvet rushed forward and embraced her. "Night Light and I just got back from a vacation in Nippony," she said. "Shiny told me everything on the way here." She tilted her head back. "Is it true? You're really some alternate universe version of my little Sparkler?"

Twilight Sparkle laughed, happy tears in her eyes. "Yes, I am. Sorry, it's just...I haven't seen you—I mean, my Mommy—in almost a year."

Velvet raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why not?"

"She moved to the Franch Riviera to 'research' a book," Sparkle said, rolling her eyes.

Velvet ducked her head sheepishly. "That...sounds familiar," she said.

Spike suddenly bounced into view. "Hi Mama!" he said.

"Oh, Spike!" Velvet said, leaning down to nuzzle the little dragon. "I swear you've grown a whole hoof bigger since the last time I saw you!" Her saddlebag opened, and a tiny paper bag floated out. "I brought you something from Nippony," she said.

Spike opened the bag and looked inside, eyes wide. "Pink pearls?" he asked.

"I know they're not really gemstones," Velvet said, "but there was this oyster farm where you could harvest as many as you wanted, and I thought maybe you'd like some."

Spike took a pearl out of the bag, sniffed it, then nibbled it. His eyes lit up. "Mmm, that's not bad! Thanks, Mama!"

"Is Daddy with you?" Sparkle asked.

Velvet grimaced. "Night Light's laid up at home with a sore hip," she said.

"Oh no!" Sparkle gasped. "What happened?!"

Velvet rolled her eyes. "He went to a Sumoo exhibition, thought he'd try his hoof at Sumoo wrestling. They had a seminar on it, with a free practice lesson. He decided he'd try to wrestle the biggest, toughest Sumoo bull there. Banged up his hip."

Sparkle winced. "Ouch. Is he okay?"

Velvet chuckled. "He'll be fine. He didn't break anything, but he's staying home for a while." She noticed the pegasus sitting in the reading area, and waved. "Hello, Rainbow dear! Oh, I'm sorry—do you know me? I mean the other me?"

Rainbow shook her head. "Haven't met Twilight's parents," she said. "Actually only met Twilight not too long ago. Well, THIS Twilight. We all met YOUR Twilight the first time she came to our world."

Velvet blinked. "Really? That's strange...my little Sparkler moved to Ponyville three years ago, and the very first day she was here she met all her new friends."

"I only started at Canterlot High a few weeks ago," Sparkle said. "My new friends dogpiled me the second I walked in the doors. It took them a while to explain meeting Pony-Me, but we've all been best friends since then."

The door opened, and Apple Bloom walked in. "Hey Twilight," she called. "Ah'm just returnin' a book—oh, sorry, am Ah interruptin' somethin'?"

"Not at all, Apple Bloom," Twilight Sparkle said with a chuckle. "This is a library."

Apple Bloom noticed the older mare. "Ah know you! Yer Twilight's mom, right?"

Velvet nodded. "Yes, I believe we met at Shining Armor's wedding." She smiled. "How have you been?"

"Okay, I guess," Apple Bloom said. "Me an' my friends still ain't got our Cutie Marks though."

Velvet chuckled. "You will. Give it time."

"You can just put that in the book drop for now," Sparkle said.

"Got it," Apple Bloom said. She walked over to the check-in counter—

"Uh, Twilight?" Spike said. "We don't use the book drop..."

"Huh?" Sparkle asked. Unfortunately, Apple Bloom had already dropped the book into the slot on the counter at the back of the library. There was a terrifying rattle as the counter shuddered...and then the entire front flew off, nearly flattening Apple Bloom, who dropped to the floor with a cry of alarm.

Everypony looked at the wreckage of the counter, with the solitary book sitting unharmed in its midst.

"Aaaaand that's why," Spike said.

Twilight Sparkle's ears flattened. "That's...something you probably should've warned me about," she said.

Apple Bloom studied the destroyed counter. "Hmm." She knocked on each piece of the wood with a hoof. "Well, it ain't the wood. Ah reckon it's..." After a moment's rooting around in the debris, she nodded. "Eeyup, it's th' brackets. Y'all got a toolbox an' some spare shelvin' hardware?"

"It's in the basement," Spike said. "I'll go get it."

Apple Bloom frowned. "Miss Twilight's mom? Can you gimme a hoof with some magic? Just t' move th' heavy bits? Ah know Twilight's magic ain't up t' snuff yet..."

"Well, yes, of course," Velvet said, blinking.

"Apple Bloom, what are you up to?" Sparkle asked with some alarm. She'd been warned about the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their penchant for disaster.

"Ah broke it, so Ah'm gonna fix it," Apple Bloom said.

"Well, you didn't really...I mean, it wasn't your fault..."

Spike returned at that moment with the requested items. Apple Bloom motioned for him to set them down, then she began studying the pieces of the counter. After a few minutes, she began hammering new brackets into place at the base of the counter, then asking Velvet to levitate pieces of wood into place. The others watched, fascinated, as Apple Bloom quickly reconstructed the book return counter. Once she was done, she sanded down the top of it, then gave it a hard tap with a hoof. "Good as new," she said.

Sparkle blinked. "Wow. Um. Thanks," she said. "How did you—"

"Well, Ah gotta run," Apple Bloom said. "It was nice meetin' y'all again, ma'am!"

The others stared after the little filly.

"Is that...is that normal?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Ask me again when it explodes," Spike said. "Then it'll be normal."


* * * * *


"Here you go," Cheerilee said as she placed a stack of books in front of Twilight. "Everything we've got on prestidigitation." She tilted her head. "I hear you're challenging Trixie, is that true?"

Twilight nodded. "More like she's challenged me, but yes. I've got two weeks to learn as much of this stuff as I can."

"You might want to talk to the Disaster Girls, then," the librarian said. "At the last talent show, they decided to put on a magic act. At least they didn't set anything on fire this time, but it...didn't go so well. They might still have all their props."

It took Twilight a second to figure out who the 'Disaster Girls' were. "Thanks, I'll be sure to ask."

"Good luck!" Cheerilee called.

A short while later, Twilight had tracked down Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. "Girls," she began, "I was wondering if I could ask a favor."

"Well sure, Twilight," Apple Bloom said. "Whutcha need?"

"Miss Cheerilee said you girls tried to put on a magic show a while back. Do you still have your props?"

"Everything except the bunny and the doves," Scootaloo said. "You'll have to ask Fluttershy for those."

"Is this for your duel with Trixie?" Sweetie Belle asked. At Twilight's nod, the younger girl beamed. "Be sure to get my sister to make a stage outfit for you!"

"Yeah! A magician's costume is really important!" Apple Bloom said.

"And it's gotta have lots of hidden pockets and stuff for tricks," Scootaloo said.

Twilight quickly jotted all that down. "Thanks, girls."

"Sure thing," Apple Bloom said. "We'll get th' stuff together for you at my place. Just come on by whenever."


* * * * *


It was already afternoon by the time Applejack and Big Macintosh got back to the farm; they'd decided to have lunch in town. As they approached the homestead, they heard clanking, grinding, and grunting coming from the side of the building. Exchanging confused, worried glances, they trotted around to investigate.

Sparks flew from a grindstone being hoof-operated by Apple Bloom; Big Macintosh's oldest, most worn-out plow was rattling against the edge of the stone. Beside the grindstone, Apple Bloom, hammer in mouth, was working on a bad cart axle, hammering metal reinforcements into place around the worn out wood.

"Apple Bloom? Whut th' hay're you up to?" Applejack asked.

"Whut's it look like?" the filly grunted. "Ah'm workin'."

The older ponies blinked at one another.

"Ah think whut Applejack means is, why're you outta school, an' doin'...well...big-pony work?"

"We had a half-day today," Apple Bloom said. "Mah friends had plans, an' Ah got home an' y'all wasn't here, an' Ah was bored, an' Ah saw th' plow an' th' axle sittin' out by th' house, so Ah got t' workin' on 'em." She put down her hammer and examined her work on the axle. "That'll hold for maybe one season," she said. "Come harvest, we should really get a new cart."

"We can afford to now," Big Macintosh said. "An' maybe even a new plow, Applejack worked that banker over good." He shook his head as he looked over his little sister's work. "You done good, Apple Bloom," he said. "Ah gotta say, it's nice seein' you workin' on somethin' that ain't gonna blow up."

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Nothin' I make blows up on its own," she said. "It always has help. Usually from Sweetie Belle."


* * * * *


Bobbi Gibson was waiting for Fluttershy by the gates after school.

"We still on for tonight?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," she replied. "Um...where are we going, and what time do you need me ready by?"

"There's a Hëd Kräbb concert at the Forum tonight," Bobbi said. "I thought we'd go to that."

"Oh. Um. That sounds nice."

"You don't like Hëd Kräbb?"

"Oh, I've never heard of them, actually," Fluttershy said. "It should be interesting."

Bobbi grinned. "Great. Pick you up at seven?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I'll be waiting for you at Rarity's."

"Got it. Later!"


* * * * *


Apple Bloom had worked on various things around the farm until suppertime. When the family gathered for supper, Big Macintosh asked, "Why th' sudden fixin' spree, li'l Bloom? Ah mean, not that Ah ain't grateful, you're doin' a heck of a good job, but it ain't like you t' just up an' take on chores by yourself."

The filly shrugged. "Ah dunno. After school, Ah dropped by th' library on th' way home, an' had a run-in with a collapsin' book counter. Wasn't mah fault!" she added hastily. "Twilight didn't know th' counter was about t' fall apart, an' Spike warned me too late. Anyway, Ah stuck around t' fix it up like new. Then when Ah got home, y'all weren't here, an' Granny Smith was nappin', an' Ah didn't really have anythin' Ah particularly wanted t' do, so Ah just started wanderin' around, an' Ah noticed a lotta things that need fixin' or replacin'. So Ah just got t' work." She sighed. "There's still so much t' do, too, but Ah can't do no more today. Especially not that busted drainpipe."

"Busted drainpipe?" Big Macintosh asked, confused.

"By th' back door," Apple Bloom said. "It's fixin' t' come apart next good rain."

Big Macintosh blinked, then excused himself from the table. He went out into the kitchen; the family heard him open the back door. A moment later he walked back in, eyes wide. "Well Ah'll be sheep-dipped," he said. "Ah didn't even know that pipe was like that."

"Ah noticed it this afternoon," Apple Bloom said. "But Ah ain't got what Ah need t' fix it on hand, so Ah'm gonna hafta go t' th' hardware store tomorrow. An' that got me thinkin', Ah really oughtta put gutters on th' clubhouse, too. Ah might see about that while Ah'm at it." After she finished eating, she excused herself, stretching and yawning. "Ah'm gonna take a bath an' turn in early," she said. "Ah'm plumb tuckered out, an' Ah gotta get up early tomorrow t' work on th' stuff Ah didn't get at today."

As the little filly trotted upstairs, her siblings blinked after her. "That...that ain't normal, is it?" Applejack asked.

"Nnnnope," Big Macintosh said.

Granny Smith grinned. "Well, it's about time," she said.

"Huh? Whaddya mean, Granny?"

The old pony fixed her ersatz granddaughter with an enigmatic smile. "You'll see..."


* * * * *


"Hëd Kräbb?" Rarity asked.

"That's what he said," Fluttershy said.

"That's an unusual name for a band," Rarity replied. "I wonder..." She pulled out her laptop and keyed in a search. A few minutes later, loud, wild hard rock music was pouring out of the laptop's speakers. "Gah," Rarity said, pulling a face.

"Oh, they're a rock band?" Fluttershy asked. "That's nice. I like rock and roll."

"You do?" Rarity asked.

"Why, yes," Fluttershy said. "Anyway, do you mind helping me with my date outfit for tonight?"

"Think nothing of it," Rarity replied. She frowned, then poked around at some of the search results. "What does one wear to a rock concert?"

By six-thirty, Fluttershy was wearing a faded knee-length split denim skirt, knee-high black leather boots, a long-sleeved black sweater, and a denim jacket with her cutie mark embroidered on it in black and dark silver. Additionally, three thin black streaks had been dyed into her hair.

Rarity looked her over, frowning. "Well...it lacks style, but...it's what rock and roll fans are wearing...bleah."

"Oh, I like it," Fluttershy said, examining herself in the mirror. "It's so...different!" She smiled at Rarity. "Thank you."

"Of course, darling," Rarity replied.

The bell over the door jingled. "Rarity?" Twilight's voice called.

"Back here, Twilight dear!" Rarity called back.

"Sorry to disturb you so late, but I wanted to talk to you about WHAT THE HAY?!" Twilight stood stock-still, staring at Fluttershy, eyes wide. "F-Fluttershy?!" she asked.

Fluttershy ran a hand through her streaked hair and smiled. "Hello," she said. "Do you like it?"

"Do I..." Twilight blinked. "It's...um...wow."

"I'm going to a rock concert tonight," Fluttershy explained. "I wanted to fit in."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Well...yes, I'm pretty sure you'll fit in just fine." She smiled. "Have a good time, okay?"

As Fluttershy left, Twilight shook her head. "She's losing it, isn't she?"

Rarity sighed. "I wouldn't say she's losing it," Rarity said. "It's more like she's trying to find it. But if you ask me, she's already found it, and needs to put it back." She smiled. "But she's our friend, so we should support her. Now, what can I do for you, Twilight?"

"Well, I'm going to need a special performing outfit for my duel with Trixie..."


* * * * *


Long after the moon had risen, long after Granny and Big Macintosh and Applejack had gone to sleep, the littlest Apple lay awake in her bed, tossing and turning restlessly.

*Hope Ah can get everythin' Ah need tomorrow, Ah wanna get them drainpipes an' gutters done pronto, afore it rains again...still gotta swap out all th' chickenwire that's rusted...gotta fix that wobbly bit on th' clubhouse railin' too, afore Scootaloo leans on it again an' falls...Ah hate draggin' heavy stuff up an' down t' th' clubhouse...maybe if Ah put in some kinda pully lift...hey, maybe Ah could design a pully chair fer Granny, help her get up an' down steps better...*

Apple Bloom drifted off to sleep, mind awhirl with images of the things she needed to fix, and the things she hadn't built yet.

In the silence, with nopony around to witness it, the little filly's room was suddenly lit by a brilliant flash that originated beneath her blankets. It was gone as quickly as it came, and Apple Bloom slept on, completely unaware that something momentous had just taken place...
> Phase VII: The Second Week
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fluttershy smiled as she turned on the lights, the tingling warmth of the kiss she had just shared with Bobbi Gibson still on her lips. Unlike her date with Thunderlane, which was boring and went nowhere, she felt that the thoughtful, funny, and honest bass player was definitely worth a second, maybe even a third date. He was an excellent kisser, too, not that Fluttershy had any prior experience with that.

Her popularity with the boys in this world had come as a surprise; back home, stallions never really seemed interested in her. Then again, there weren't exactly a great many stallions in Ponyville, and most of them were either already spoken for or...

No, such thoughts weren't very nice. Still, even as the pony who embodied kindness, Fluttershy had to admit there were certain ponies she didn't really want to have much to do with. Especially that one with the huge jelly jars. As far as she knew, he was the only outright pervert in Ponyville.

When she'd begun flirting with the boys who approached her, Sunset Shimmer had taken her aside and warned her, rather bluntly, that most boys were obsessed with sex. She had also expressed stark disbelief that Fluttershy, of all girls, was the sudden object of so much attention, when the Fluttershy native to this world had never even so much as talked to a boy as far as she knew. "If any of you had become a boy magnet, I'd have thought it'd be Rarity," Sunset had said. "I hate to admit it, but she's the type, and has the looks to back it up."

She'd been thinking about that a lot since then, and on the way to the concert, Fluttershy had asked Bobbi exactly why he'd chosen now to ask her out, if he'd ever asked the other Fluttershy out, and why so many boys seemed so interested in her specifically.

"It's the way you carry yourself," he'd said. "The other Fluttershy slouched and kept her head down, and shied away from people."

"I...I'm that way too," she'd said. "Back home, I mean."

"But you, well...you carry yourself like..." He'd struggled to find the right words. "Almost like you're in love with your own body. With the way it moves. I think..." He chuckled. "Well, guys pick up on things like that, even if they're not sure what they're picking up on. The easiest way to say it is that all of a sudden, you got sexy."

*In love with my own body...* Fluttershy mused. It was funny how on the mark that observation was, as ever since arriving, she had been exceptionally interested in every little detail of her body.

As she had done the night before, she headed for the bedroom to undress and shower. As she entered and turned on the lights, she caught sight of herself in the full-length dressing mirror, and stopped to admire herself. Even though the clothing she had worn to the concert was far from elegant, there was a certain appeal to it. And the dyed black streaks in her hair added a hint of...something to her appearance, something she couldn't quite put a finger on.

As she got undressed, showered, and changed for bed, she thought over the revelation that she had, inexplicably, become sexy. The notion was a bit scary, as it meant she would draw far more attention than she had ever been comfortable with back home...

And yet, for some reason, it excited her.


* * * * *


"Mornin' ever'pony," Apple Bloom called as she trotted downstairs to breakfast. She let out a huge yawn and shuffled sleepily to the table.

"Mornin', li'l sis," Applejack said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Ah guess," Apple Bloom said. "T' tell th' truth, Ah was awake a long time thinkin' 'bout stuff Ah gotta fix, stuff Ah wanna make..."

Big Macintosh wandered in at this point, hearing that last, and chuckled. "Careful, Li'l Bloom. Keep givin' yourself work, you won't have no time t' go crusadin' fer yer Cutie MaaAAAAA!" The big stallion stared at his youngest sister. "Whut th' hay?!"

"Huh? Whut's wrong?" Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack finally noticed it too. "Um. Well now. That weren't there last night."

"Is it real? It ain't drawed on, or another Cutie Pox potion?" Big Macintosh asked quietly, creeping closer to the young filly and staring.

Apple Bloom blinked at her siblings. "Whut's th' matter with y'all?" she asked. "Stop it...y'all're creepin' me out..."

Big Macintosh blinked. "You ain't seen it yet?" He frowned. "That'd explain why you didn't wake us all up yellin'..." His eyes widened again. "That means it's GOTTA be real!"

Apple Bloom backed away from him nervously. "Seen whut? What're you yappin' about?"

"Your Cutie Mark," Big Mac said.

Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "Mah whut?" At Applejack's hoof gesture, the filly turned around to examine her flank.





Apple Bloom fell flat to the floor, stunned. "Ah...Ah got mah..."

Every creature great and small on Sweet Apple Acres, from Granny Smith who was out gathering eggs, to the sleeping chickens, to the hogs, to the cows, to Winona, looked up in alarm as the entire farm rang with the loud cry from the cozy little kitchen:


"AH GOT MAH CUTIE MARK!!"



* * * * *


As Rarity sipped her morning coffee, she browsed the Internet, searching for ideas as to what would be an appropriate costume for a human stage magician. As she did so, she pondered all the strange differences between human anatomy and pony anatomy, as well as some of the similarities. As her eyes skimmed over images of various tuxedos, robes, and strange getups she couldn't even begin to identify, her wandering mind played back some of the things Sunset Shimmer had told them, that one thoroughly embarrassing day, as well as her own discoveries upon examining her body for the first time.

Her musings were interrupted by a yawn from behind her. "Mornin', Rarity," Sweetie Belle called.

"Hm? Oh, good morning, Sweetie Belle."

"You looked sort of lost in thought there," the younger girl observed. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh...no, not at all. I was just thinking about all the strange little things about the human body."

"Oh?"

Rarity nodded absently. "And I believe I've decided what the strangest thing is."

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Really?"

"Yes," Rarity said. "It isn't hands—actually, I'm beginning to find hands preferable to hooves, nor is it the short noses, or the fact that the mammaries are in a truly bizarre place." She paused. "No, the strangest thing about the human body...is toes."

"Toes?" Sweetie Belle asked incredulously.

"Yes. Toes."

"Why toes?"

In response, Rarity pulled off her right boot and held up her foot, wiggling her toes at Sweetie Belle. "Oh, come now. Surely you can't tell me these things aren't weird. It took me three days to figure out that they do in fact serve a purpose, but it doesn't change the fact that their appearance is, well...peculiar."

Sweetie giggled. "Okay, yeah, I guess toes are kinda funny. I just never thought about it before." As Rarity put her boot back on, Sweetie asked, "So, are you going to Pinkie's party tonight with anyone?"

"Just the girls," Rarity said. "Twilight and Fluttershy are the only ones with boyfriends. Well, I don't know if Fluttershy has a boyfriend exactly, but..."

"It's so weird seeing Fluttershy with boys," Sweetie said. "Our Fluttershy isn't..." She trailed off. "Well, a flirt like yours is."

"Our Fluttershy usually isn't either," Rarity said. "She's changed since she came here." Shrugging, she went back to her browsing. "What do you think I should do for Twilight's magic duel outfit, Sweetie?"

"Huh? I dunno," Sweetie Belle said. "When we were gonna do a magic show, Apple Bloom came up with these really silly outfits, I have no idea where she got them. Girl magicians usually wear something really sexy, and guy magicians usually wear a tuxedo and a top hat."

"Something sexy, huh?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah, like a Playbunny outfit—er, corset and fishnet stockings," Sweetie clarified at Rarity's confused look. She walked over, nudged Rarity out from in front of the computer, opened a few browser tabs, and began pulling up images. "See, like that, and that, and..."

Rarity stared. "That's what's 'sexy' here?"

"Well, yeah."

"What is it you said guys wear again?"

Sweetie dutifully pulled up images of male magicians. Rarity sat looking at these for a moment, then switched back to the racy corsets and fishnets from the previous search. Suddenly, her face lit up.

"I~DEEE~AAAAA!!"


* * * * *


After breakfast, Big Macintosh had convinced Apple Bloom to spend the day in town celebrating her new Cutie Mark with her friends. "Them fix-up chores'a yers can wait a little while," he said. "This is a big day. It ain't gonna rain 'til Tuesday anyhow."

Once Apple Bloom left, Big Mac faced Applejack and Granny Smith with a serious expression. "Alright, y'all, we got a big heap'a plannin' t' do, an' right quick."

"We shore do!" Granny replied.

Applejack looked confused. "What fer?"

"Apple Bloom's cute-ceañera," Big Macintosh said.

"Cute-say-whut-now?"

"Cute-ceañera," Granny repeated. "It's a big shindig for a yung'un that just got their Cutie Mark."

"A big shindig, huh?" Applejack repeated. She grinned. "Well if it's a big shindig, Ah know th' perfect pony for th' job!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Big Macintosh asked.

"O'course!"

"Hmm. But she's like you, she ain't never heard'a cute-ceañeras neither," Big Mac pointed out.

Applejack shrugged. "Ah reckon Mr. an' Mrs. Cake can walk her through th' specifics."

"Well...after all, a cute-ceañera IS just a really big party," Granny Smith said.

"Then like Ah said, Pinkie's our go-to gal!"


* * * * *


"I'm your go-to girl for all your party needs!" Pinkie Pie told the young couple that had walked into Sugar Cube Corner several minutes earlier. "I'm the bestest of the best at party planning!"

"She really is," Twilight Sparkle said from where she sat nearby, studying and having breakfast. "You wouldn't believe what this girl can throw together with practically no notice whatsoever."

The couple blinked at each other, speechless. They had come in to grab a coffee and discuss the details of their upcoming engagement party, which as of yet was neither catered nor really planned out. Pinkie Pie had overheard them and had had what could only be described as an explosive partygasm.

Pinkie pulled out her phone and, after some fiddling, showed them a photo. "See this? This is the setup for a big party at Canterlot High tonight. I worked half the night setting this up!"

The couple stared at the impressive and elaborate party decorations. "You did all that...in one night?"

"Uh-huh! And I can get Sweet Apple Acres to cater, and I know the bestest DJ in town, and—"

"Okay, okay!" the man said, laughing. "You're hired." He paused. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be Pinkie Pie by any chance, would you?"

"That's me!" Pinkie said cheerfully.

He grinned. "Yeah, I've heard of you. They say your parties can get pretty wild. I'm looking forward to it."

Twilight watched with a smile as the couple exchanged information with Pinkie Pie. As they left, she said, "Looks like you just went into business."

"Oh gosh, you're right!" Pinkie said. "Hmm...I wonder where other-me keeps her party cannon?"

"Other-you doesn't have a party cannon, Pinkie," Twilight said.

"WHAT?! No party cannon?! Bummer!"


* * * * *


The very first ponies Apple Bloom ran into were Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash. Scootaloo was teaching Rainbow Dash how to play hoofball. "Hey Scootaloo! Hey Rainbow Dash!" she hollered.

"Hey Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo called back. "Wanna play with us?"

"Ah'd love to, but Ah got lots t' do today," Apple Bloom said.

"Oh? Running errands for the farm?" Scootaloo asked.

"Nnnope," Apple Bloom said. "Well, tomorrow Ah will be, but today's just for celebratin'."

"Celebrating what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Apple Bloom turned her flank to them.

"WHAT?!" Scootaloo cried.

"Hey, cool butt-mark-thingie," Rainbow Dash said.

Apple Bloom turned back to face them, all smiles. "Ah got it last night," she said. "Woke up with it this mornin', didn't even know at first till mah big bro was freakin' out about it."

Scootaloo stared at her, eyes wide and jaw agape. "You really did it. You really got your Cutie Mark."

Apple Bloom nodded up and down rapidly, beaming.

Scootaloo shook her head, then began hopping up and down, her wings buzzing. "AWESOME! she cried. "Lemme see it again, lemme see it again! How'd you get it? What'd you do? Why didn't you wait for us? We could've all gotten it!"

Apple Bloom sighed. "Ah'm sorry, Scoots. Ah really wanted us all t' get our Cutie Marks together an' all, but...it turns out ever'pony's been tellin' us right all along. It really does come when it's time."

Scootaloo stopped hopping and tilted her head. "You mean it just showed up, just like that? You weren't trying to get it?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "Nope. All day long yesterday Ah was just fixin' stuff up. Ah fixed a book counter at Twilight's place, Ah fixed a bunch'a stuff back home, Ah saw stuff Ah wanted t' fix but couldn't—Ah was gonna work on that stuff today—an' thought about stuff Ah wanna build onto th' clubhouse, an' somethin' Ah wanna build fer Granny..." She shrugged. "Pretty much all Ah had on my mind yesterday was fixin' an' buildin' stuff. An' then when Ah woke up, bam, Cutie Mark."

Scootaloo frowned. "Sooo...all you were doing was stuff you're already good at, and that's it?"

"Just like ever'pony's been tellin' us this whole time," Apple Bloom confirmed. She rolled her eyes. "Now that Ah realize that, Ah kinda feel like an idjit." She shook her head and smiled. "But Ah wouldn't trade our time crusadin' fer Cutie Marks for nothin'. You an' Sweetie Belle are mah best friends. Even though we've had our share of fights, an' we've gotten in a heap'a trouble plenty'a times..." She lunged forward and grabbed Scootaloo in a hug.

"Aww," Rainbow Dash said, smiling at them.

After the hug, Scootaloo had a pensive look on her face. "Does this mean...does this mean it's over? Is this the end of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

"Heck no!" Apple Bloom said. "But from now on, things ARE gonna be diff'rent. But in a good way." She grinned. "Come on, we gotta find Sweetie Belle!"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo waved at Rainbow Dash. "Sorry, gotta go! See you later!"


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash stared at the soccer ball sitting on the grass in front of her, mocking her.

She took a step backward, drew back her foot, and gave the ball a mighty kick.

It veered off to the right, careening out of bounds. Rainbow Dash wobbled on one foot, pinwheeling her arms.

A small group of students from the various sports teams watched from the bleachers. They were all male.

"Oh, dude. This new Rainbow Dash is pathetic!" one of them chuckled.

"Hey man, chill. She'll get better."

"She'd better get better soon, or we'll have to get a new captain."

"Yeah, we can't let this...horse drag us down."

"I still don't buy that whole magic horse thing."

"Dude, all I wanna know is, you think this Rainbow Dash puts out?"

A chorus of groans met this question.

"Dude, give it UP."

"Well, do you?"

"The old Rainbow Dash didn't."

"Yeah? Well neither did the old Fluttershy."

"Hey, yeah! For all we know they could all be like, super easy."

The soccer ball bounced off the face of the boy who had said that. Rainbow Dash stalked up to the group, eyes blazing with fury. "You know what we do to jerks like you back home?" she asked. "We geld them." With that, she stormed off the field.

The guys watched her go.

"Bet she's gay."

"Yeah, she's probably doin' it with Applejack."


* * * * *


Rarity smiled at the three fillies who were prancing around in her boutique, laughing and giggling and cheering.

"I always thought you'd be the first to get yours!" Sweetie said, hugging Apple Bloom for the fifth time. "I'm so happy for you! And so jealous! And so happy!" She pulled back. "Oh! Oh! You know what you need? A cute-ceañera!"

"Hey, yeah!" Scootaloo said. "We should go to Sugar Cube Corner and talk to Pinkie Pie! She'll totally throw you a cute-ceañera!"

Just then, the door flew open and a puffy pink head popped into the boutique. "Rarity! We've got work to do! Party work!" Pinkie shouted. Then she noticed the three little fillies. "APPLE BLOOM!" she cried. "Let me see it let me see it LET ME SEE IT!"

Apple Bloom blinked. "You already know?"

"Big Macintosh just came by," Pinkie said. "He asked me to plan your cute-ceañera!"

"Well Ah'll be," Apple Bloom said, grinning.

Rarity smiled. "I'm not entirely certain what a cute-ceañera is, but I shall help in any way I possibly can!"

"Oh! Oh! We've gotta invite EVERYPONY!" Scootaloo said.

"And Diamond Tiara, we've gotta invite her too!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Eww! Why?!" Scootaloo asked, pulling a face.

"So Apple Bloom can rub it in her face! Literally!"

Apple Bloom made a retching noise. "Sweetie Belle! Ah don't want Diamond Tiara's face anywhere near mah flank!"

"Oh, I am just not even touching that one," Rarity said.


* * * * *


The Apples had been up since the crack of dawn working farm chores. Applejack had slowly adjusted to the human way of doing her chores, but it still made her back and arms mighty sore. She was inwardly thankful it was winter now; she didn't think she was ready to deal with the apple orchards just yet.

The one thing about the farm that had unsettled her the most were the horses. The Apples owned six horses, kept in an insulated stable, which Big Macintosh had explained they used to haul apple carts during the harvest to save on gasoline costs. They also produced useful manure, which Big Macintosh had cheerfully explained before his brain had caught up with his mouth.

"Jes' for th' record," Applejack had said with a flat, half-lidded glare at her brother's doppelganger, "Ah ain't never gone out an' done mah private business on th' fields."

"How DO y'all deal with...uh...that where you come from, anyway?" Apple Bloom had asked, unable to contain her curiosity.

"Same way y'all do. We use th' bathroom proper-like."

The rest of that evening had been rather awkward.

In hindsight, though, the conversation was admittedly funny. Applejack chuckled to herself as she hefted a massive bale of hay onto her shoulder and carried it into the stable. "Y'all sure do eat one heck of a lot," she told the six horses. The fact that these horses couldn't talk and weren't as intelligent as ponies back home creeped her out, but she could see a certain level of intelligence in their eyes, and made a point of spending a little time with them every day.

As she distributed the new hay, she heard the distant banging of a copper pan against a hanging sheet of tin. She blinked. "Time fer lunch already?" She finished up her chore, then headed up to the house, grimacing and rubbing her lower back.

Within ten minutes, the three Apple siblings had scrubbed up their hands and faces and gathered around the old kitchen table that reminded Applejack of home. Apple Bloom looked winded, but as full of energy as her own sweet little sister. Big Macintosh looked a bit glum. "What's up, Big Mac?" she asked.

"Ah think Ah'm gonna hafta cut down ol' Bloomberg," he said.

Apple Bloom gasped. "Oh no!"

"Eeyup," Big Mac said sadly. "That ol' tree's lookin' mighty sickly. Ah don't think it's gonna make th' winter."

A cold chill ran through Applejack as she heard that. She took off her hat and held it to her chest. "Didn't know y'all had a Bloomberg," she said.

"Eeyup. Why, y'all had Bloomberg in Equestria?"

Applejack nodded. "Yeah. A couple years back, we transplanted 'im t' Appleloosa. Last I heard from Cousin Braeburn, he's still goin' strong."

Big Macintosh nodded thoughtfully. "Y'all don't lose many trees on y'all's farm there, do you?"

"Never lost one yet," Applejack said. "That's th' earth pony magic at work. We're connected t' th' land, so we can tell when a tree's havin' problems, an' take care of it before it's too late. Not that many of our trees ever get sick."

"That must be nice," Big Macintosh said. "We usually lose at least two trees a year."

Applejack shuddered.

"Grub's on," Granny Smith announced as she entered the room. "Big Mac, come help yer ol' granny bring on th' victuals."

"Eeyup."

Soon, there was a huge platter of something Applejack couldn't identify right away in the center of the table, as well as a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, two gravy boats full of a type of gravy she'd never seen before, and a heaping bowl of green beans. After loading all the serving dishes onto the table, Granny came back with a big pitcher of sweet iced tea and filled their glasses. "Alright, y'all help yerselves," she said as she speared one of the large, golden-battered slabs off the serving platter and plopped it onto her plate.

Apple Bloom's eyes were dancing with delight. "Alright, chicken fried steak!" she cheered.

"Who fried whut now?" Applejack asked.

Apple Bloom gasped. "Oh my gosh! You don't know what chicken fried steak is?!"

"Uh, hello, pony from another world here, reckon we've met?"

"Oh yeah, right, heheh," Apple Bloom said, giggling. "Just...trust me, this is th' best thing you'll ever taste."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh agreed. He'd already placed one of the steaks on his plate, and was heaping mashed potatoes next to it. Apple Bloom grabbed one of the gravy boats and drowned her steak in the thick, white, creamy gravy.

Applejack loaded up her plate with one of the unfamiliar steaks, a heap of mashed potatoes, and a larger heap of green beans than the others had taken, then mimicked her siblings and poured a generous quantity of gravy over her steak and potatoes. Cutting off a bite of the steak, she placed it in her mouth and chewed.

Her eyes widened.

"Great, ain't it?" Apple Bloom asked through a mouthful of potatoes.

Applejack couldn't answer. She was busy reveling in the tender texture of the meat, its flavor still unfamiliar to her but appealing, teasing her taste buds with its delicious wrongness, and the light, crispy, savory taste of the golden fry batter wrapped around it. To say nothing of the smooth, creamy, slightly spicy heaven that was the gravy! "Sweet Celestia, that's good," she said.

Apple Bloom blinked at her. "What's Principal Celestia got to do with it?"

Applejack chuckled. "Sorry, force of habit. Seein' as Princess Celestia's th' ruler of Equestria an' all." She took another bite of steak. "Ah ain't never had nothin' like this before."

The meal passed pleasantly, with everyone having a second helping of everything, and pleasant mealtime conversation among family. At times, Applejack even forgot she wasn't back home with her own pony family, because their human counterparts were so closely matched she truly felt at home.

But there were things that reminded her of home, and reminded her that no matter how comfortable she got here, she had a life to go back to in Equestria once the portal opened again, though it would be well over two years before she'd need to worry about that. *Two years and change,* she mused. *Ah wonder what Ah'll be goin' home to...*

She must've said this aloud, because her temporary family was looking at her. "Hey, that's right," Apple Bloom said. "When our Applejack comes back, you'll have graduated high school in her place. She'll miss out on that."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh said.

"An' Ah bet mah Apple Bloom'll already have her Cutie Mark by th' time Ah get back, an' Ah'll miss out on that," Applejack said quietly.

"Cutie Mark?" Apple Bloom asked, tilting her head.

Applejack sipped her tea, then launched into an explanation of the most sacred part of a little pony's coming of age...


* * * * *


Twilight Sparkle and her mother were enjoying an afternoon stroll around Ponyville when they encountered Fluttershy, who looked distinctly rattled. "Hey Fluttershy, what's wrong?"

Fluttershy looked up, blinking. "Oh, n-nothing. I'm fine, really."

"Fluttershy..." Twilight Sparkle said with a warning tone and a smile.

The pegasus sighed. "I...found something strange in my—I mean my double's—house. It...it's just...I'm a little freaked out."

"Oh?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "What is it?"

"Maybe...I should just show y—oh! Who is this?" she asked, noticing Twilight Velvet.

"Fluttershy, this is my mother, Twilight Velvet. Well, Pony-Me's mother. I mean, she's almost exactly like MY mother—"

Twilight Velvet tilted her head with a smile. "Really. You've been here what, a week already? And you're STILL fumbling over 'this me' and 'that me'?"

Twilight Sparkle laughed. "Well, it's...we're still getting used to this whole thing." She shook her head. "Anyway, Fluttershy, let's go see what's gotten you so freaked out."

Several minutes later, they stood in Fluttershy's living room. The pegasus placed her hoof on a book and tilted it down. The bookshelf swung open with a click to reveal a stairwell.

The two Twilights glanced at one another. Velvet's eyebrow was raised. "Interesting."

The three mares descended; Fluttershy stepped on the switch that turned on all the lights. The Twilights gasped as they looked around. "Oh...my," Velvet said.

Sparkle's jaw dropped. "Is this...is everything here...a knitting project?!"

"Yes," Fluttershy said. "Apparently, the other me has a very bizarre knitting obsession."

"Bizarre? I'd almost call this sick," Velvet said. "Impressive, though."

"I'm more interested in how she managed to build a room like this under a quaint little cottage," Twilight Sparkle said. "And how is there electricity down here, anyway? There aren't any power lines or anything!"

"Power lines?" Twilight Velvet asked.

"You know, wires? They transmit electricity from the source?"

Twilight Velvet chuckled. "What a quaint notion!"

"Quaint?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "Then...then how does electricity work here?"

Twilight Velvet rolled her eyes. "Come along, I'll show you."


* * * * *


Twilight looked up at the electricity transmission lines suspended from tall wooden poles and frowned. "How inefficient...I wonder why they haven't developed wireless energy transfer here yet?"

Beside her, Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Beats me. You'd think with all these computers and phones and things that work without wires..."

"Yeah." Twilight frowned, studying her friend. Rainbow's shoulders were slumped and she was dragging her feet as they walked. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Rainbow..." Twilight said warningly.

Rainbow sighed. "It's just...I'm havin' problems with this body. My balance is all off, I can't even kick a stupid ball right..."

Twilight frowned. "I have to say I'm a bit surprised you're the one who's having the most trouble adapting. As athletic and physical as you are, I just assumed you'd take to your new body faster than any of us, and be amazing us all with your sports skills in no time."

Rainbow shook her head. "You couldn't possibly understand. I've spent my entire life using my wings for everything. How often do you ever actually see me walk anywhere?"

Twilight tilted her head thoughtfully. "I've seen you on your hooves lots of times, and you run almost as fast as Applejack," she pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but...I'm nowhere near as comfortable on my hooves as I am flying. My wings are so important to me, and now..."

Twilight looked at her morose friend, and hugged her. "It'll be okay, Rainbow Dash. We'll all help you get used to this."

"I'm not sure I want to get used to this," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm scared, Twi. I'm scared if I get used to this crazy body, I'll forget what it's like to fly. Then when we go home, I won't be...I won't be me anymore."

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight exclaimed. "How could you possibly think that? I refuse to believe that you of all ponies would ever slow down for anything, or forget what it feels like to be the awesome flier you were born to be!" With a smile, she added, "But I do believe that if you don't make every effort to become the superior athlete this world's Rainbow Dash is, you'll never forgive yourself. Giving up isn't who you are."

Rainbow smiled. "Yeah...you're right. Besides, the teams are all counting on me, even the jerks from before, and I can't just leave 'em hangin'."

Twilight frowned. "Wait, jerks from before? What?"

Rainbow Dash explained the heckling she'd heard during her disastrous soccer practice. When she was done, Twilight was scowling. "Even the worst stallions back home weren't that ill-mannered."

"Yeah," Rainbow said darkly. "And if I ever hear 'em talkin' about us like that again, especially if they badmouth Fluttershy, I'm gonna do what I shoulda done today." At Twilight's questioning look, she elaborated, "Kick 'em in the junk."

Twilight winced. "Aaaanyway," she said, "I need to go meet Flash. He's going with me to pick up the props for my magic act."

"Oooh, can I come?" Rainbow asked. "I wanna see what this world calls magic."

"Sure," Twilight said.


* * * * *


The Cutie Mark Crusaders had wandered around town for most of the day, Apple Bloom proudly displaying her new Cutie Mark while her friends paraded at her sides like an honor guard. Apple Bloom received many congratulations from the ponies around town. When they stopped to have lunch, Big Macintosh found them and presented Apple Bloom with a present: a filly-sized set of tools in a sturdy leather pouch fitted to sling around her neck and ride just behind her shoulder for easy access.

Later in the afternoon, the Crusaders found Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sitting at an outdoor cafeteria, having tea and saying rude things about the ponies that passed by on the street. Rather, Diamond Tiara was saying rude things, and Silver Spoon was simply laughing.

Apple Bloom trotted up to them. "Hey girls," she said.

Diamond Tiara glared hatefully at her. "WHAT do YOU want, blank flank?"

Apple Bloom grinned at her. "Oh, Ah just came t' invite y'all ta mah cute-ceañera," she said. As she did so, she turned so that the two fillies could see her flank. Diamond Tiara's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"YOU got your cutie mark?" she asked. "You, the most useless, disaster-prone hayseed in all of Ponyville?"

"Yeah. Me. An' unlike some ponies Ah could name, MAH cutie mark actually means somethin'."

Diamond Tiara stared at her, then shook her head. She tittered lightly into her hoof. "Oh, I see. This is another trick, right? A spell, or a potion? Or you've got the cutie pox again?"

"Nope. This time it's th' real deal. Mah special talent's fixin' stuff."

A passing waiter overheard this, and stopped. "You don't say? Because we've got a couple of wobbly tables over here..."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon could only watch, wide-eyed, as Apple Bloom effortlessly repaired the two tables. "Solid as a rock," the filly said brightly.

The waiter beamed at her. "That's wonderful! Here, let me get you and your little friends some crepes as thanks..."

"So," Apple Bloom said, "Ah hope Ah'll see you both at th' party."

"Oh, we'll BE there," Diamond Tiara said savagely, gritting her teeth.

With far less hostility, Silver Spoon said, "Congratulations."

Apple Bloom gave her an odd look, then left with her friends, munching on crepes.

Once the Crusaders were gone, Diamond Tiara shot Silver Spoon a venomous glare. "WHAT was THAT?" she asked.

Silver Spoon snorted, rolling her eyes. "Apple Bloom found her special talent. She's no different from us now."

"Yes she is!" Diamond Tiara insisted hotly. "I don't care about the Cutie Mark, she's still a loser!"

Silver Spoon frowned at her, then trotted away without another word.


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash stared at the bizarre pile of junk Twilight and Flash had extracted from the Apples' storage shed. "What the heck IS all this?" she asked.

Flash looked around at the collection of props. "Vanishing cabinet, handkerchief trick, flowers from a handkerchief trick, trick rings..." He shook his head. "This is kid stuff. None of this is gonna cut it against Trixie."

Twilight drooped. "Really?"

Flash nodded. "She's not great, and when she tries to pull off professional-grade illusions it always fails spectacularly, but at the very least she's mastered the fire-moving trick. That's way above the level of this junk."

Twilight wilted. "This isn't good..."

"Eh, don't worry about it, Twi," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sure with all of us helping you, you'll do fine. And you can always get better props, right?"

Flash nodded. "Yeah, new props is no problem." He frowned. "At the very least, you can use this stuff to practice. Get the hang of the basics before you try anything good enough to face Trixie with." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Maybe you can learn the 'saw-a-woman-in-half' trick. I'm sure Pinkie wouldn't mind being your assistant..."

Twilight stared at him, eyes wide. "The WHAT trick now?!"


* * * * *


Twilight Sparkle gaped at the hydroelectric dam Twilight Velvet had led her and Fluttershy to. "What...WHAT?!"

"There isn't much electricity usage in Equestria," Twilight Velvet explained. "For the most part, it's intertwined with thaumatic emissions from certain magical minerals. Those emissions are what allow for the transmission of energy to whoever needs it."

"So...magical wireless electricity?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes. But again, there's very little call for it. It mostly powers specialized equipment, like hospital equipment, laboratory equipment, movie projectors, and such. The system works better if we don't overtax it, and the normal alternatives are usually just as good if not better, so..."

"Still...wow. That's impressive." Twilight Sparkle shook her head. "It's even more impressive that you can do THIS and hardly even use electricity. Back where we come from, life is practically impossible without it."


* * * * *


A good third of the students of Canterlot High had turned out for Pinkie's "first week in this world wrap party". Vinyl Scratch was working the turntables, a catering table was crammed end-to-end with piled-high plates and bowls of delicious food and drinks, and everyone was having a wonderful time.

Quite a few people had been surprised by the minor yet startling change in Fluttershy's appearance. She was dancing with Bobbi Gibson, only occasionally agreeing to dance with other boys; Twilight was dividing her time between dancing with Flash and dancing with her best friends, who were mostly dancing alone or together, but occasionally took a turn on the floor with a random boy.

Surprisingly, Principal Celestia had come to the party. Even more surprisingly, she'd braided her hair and was wearing faded old bell-bottom jeans, a tie-dyed shirt, a suede vest, and a headband. Twilight couldn't help but stare at her attire. Pinkie, however, had taken one look at her, giggled, and said, "Groovy!"

Rarity had developed a twitch when she saw the principal. Twilight didn't realize why at first, until it dawned on her that Rarity was probably having flashbacks to her week with Wheat Grass and Flax Seed.

About halfway through the party, Twilight saw Fluttershy walk up to Vinyl and say something to her. The DJ had actually taken off her sunglasses to stare at Fluttershy before responding. They had spent a minute hurriedly going back and forth at one another, before Vinyl shrugged and put her glasses back on.

As the current song ended, Vinyl stopped the turntables and plugged a laptop computer into the mixing board.

Something loud beyond loud erupted from the speakers. Thundering bass guitar riffs. A screeching, grinding guitar chord. Drums that sounded like a buffalo stampede.

Quite a few of the kids in the gym cheered. Quite a few more rolled their eyes and moved to the bleachers or the refreshment table, looking put out. Principal Celestia frowned mildly.

"Oh, by all that is sacred, what is that horrendous noise?" Rarity complained from nearby.

"That'd be Hëd Kräbb," Flash said, chuckling.

At the center of the floor, Bobbi and Fluttershy were headbanging to the thundering retro metal. A few others were joining them.

After six minutes of eardrum abuse, Vinyl went back to spinning her own party mix. Pinkie bounced over to Twilight, Flash, and her other friends. "Wow, that was wild!" she exclaimed, beaming.

"Yes...Fluttershy has most definitely become wild," Rarity said.

"I think it suits her," Flash said. "Besides, Bobbi's a good guy, he won't take advantage of her, and it'll be good for her to learn how to have a good time."

"Well, I guess so," Rainbow Dash said. "I just never thought I'd see Fluttershy...rocking out."

"Did I hear you say something about rocking?" a reedy male voice said. A smarmy-looking boy with what he probably thought was a charming smirk on his face walked up to Rainbow Dash. "Cuz if you want your world rocked...heh...I'm the guy."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Get lost."

"Aww, don't be like that," the creep said, getting in her face. "I just wanna show you how friendly the guys here can really be..."

Applejack walked over, grabbed the guy by his collar, hoisted him above her head, and carried him to the gym doors, tossing him out. As she walked back in, she muttered, "That little turd's been hittin' on me an' Apple Bloom both."

"What IS it with the boys here?" Twilight demanded. "Uh, the boys who aren't you or your friend," she amended, looking up at Flash.

Flash sighed. "Yeah, way too many of the guys here go around thinking with their di—err, instincts."

"If you were going to say dicks, just say dicks. I won't put you in detention," Principal Celestia said with a teasing grin as she walked past.

Twilight stared after her. Rainbow snickered. Flash turned red.

Applejack looked confused. "Dicks? What?" Rainbow explained it to her, and her expression shifted to one of deadpan disapproval. "Eeeeyup, that figures."

*I didn't think this world's Celestia was as weird as OUR Celestia,* Twilight thought.


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash flew in a lazy circle above Ponyville's town square. It hadn't taken her long to get the hang of flying, and she could fly relatively fast already, but Soarin had advised her to take long, slow flights around town to build up her wing strength before plunging headlong into the kind of speed flying her pony counterpart was apparently famous for.

As she arced around, a second pegasus descended from the clouds above, flying parallel to her and matching her speed. This mare had a golden coat and a two-tone, fiery orange mane and tail, and wore a navy blue uniform—well, the top half of one anyway—and aviator sunglasses. "Hello, Rainbow Dash!" she said.

"Hi there," Dash said. She then did a double-take at the mare and screeched to a halt in midair. "SPITFIRE?!"

The golden mare, Spitfire, blinked, stopping to hover in front of Dash. "You recognize me?"

"Well, yeah," Dash said. "I mean, I know you back where I come from. You're on the track team. Actually, you pretty much run the track team. I'm the captain but I'm usually busy with soccer or basketball."

Spitfire raised an eyebrow at that. "Okay then," she said. "Anyway, Soarin tells me you're flying like a natural already. Looks like he's right."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said. "It took a while, but what can I say? I'm awesome."

Spitfire rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're EXACTLY like our Rainbow Dash." Chuckling, she added, "Anyway, since you can fly now, are you ready to settle into Rainbow Dash's house?"

Dash blinked. "Oh yeah! I'd totally forgotten about that. I'd gotten too used to the library."

"Well, if you really want to stay at the library, that's your call, but..." Spitfire grimaced. "Just so you know, the other Rainbow Dash stuck me with housesitting. She said I was the only pegasus she trusted to look after the place and take care of her turtle."

"Turtle?" Rainbow Dash echoed, blinking.

"You'll see. Even if you don't move into Rainbow Dash's place, you need to at least take Tank off my hooves."

"Uhh...yeah, okay," Rainbow Dash said. "I do kinda wanna see where the other me lives."

"Then come on, let's go," Spitfire said, flying off to the east. Rainbow Dash followed her.

As they flew, Rainbow Dash asked, "So what's with the uniform? Are you like, in the Pony Air Force or something?"

"Air what?" Spitfire asked. "No, I'm captain of the Wonderbolts."

"Oh!" Rainbow Dash said. "Yeah, Soarin told me about the Wonderbolts. Heh, I still can't get over that name."

"And why is THAT?" Spitfire asked challengingly.

Dash laughed. "Well, back at Canterlot High, all our sports teams are called the Wondercolts."

"Huh," Spitfire said. "Anyway...we're almost there."

The two pegasi approached a massive formation of clouds. Rainbow Dash's eyes tripled in size, her jaw dropping halfway to the ground.

What sat before them, drifting serenely over Ponyville, was an enormous pile of fluffy white clouds, supporting what she could only properly call a three-story tower. The whole thing was white, with huge windows all over each level, Greek columns holding up the cloud balconies, and a massive rainbow that arced from the top, seemingly feeding several small fountains and waterfalls of liquid rainbow that dripped and pooled in the cloud basins.

"WHOA," Rainbow Dash said.

"Like it?" Spitfire asked, grinning.

"I...I've never seen anything so...so...AWESOME!"

"Rainbow Dash is a big fan of classical Pegasus architecture," Spitfire said. "Big, showy, epic...visible for miles." She shook her head. "I gotta admit, it was kinda fun housesitting for her. I just have a little apartment in Cloudsdale, and I'm almost never there anyway."

"Is...is the other me loaded or something?"

"Loaded?"

"You know, rich. Lots of money."

Spitfire shrugged. "I have no idea. That doesn't really matter when it comes to cloud houses. I'm pretty sure she built this herself."

The two pegasi entered the massive cloud structure, Rainbow Dash marveling at the grand scale of the whole thing. Not long after they landed on the floor of what she assumed to be the living room, something hard bounced off her head. "Ack!" she cried. "What the—?!"

She turned around...and came face to wrinkled green face with a flying turtle. "Buh—huh?!"

"Yeah, that'd be Tank," Spitfire said. "Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise."

"A...tortoise."

"She's crazy about this little guy," Spitfire said, chuckling. "She'd have to be, to go to all the trouble of rigging up that crazy flying harness."

It was then that Rainbow Dash noticed the bizarre contraption of leather and metal that was keeping the tortoise aloft. Her eyes bugged out. "Whoa. That's..."

"Let me give you the tour," Spitfire said. "Then I gotta bail."

Numbly, Rainbow Dash followed Spitfire around the cloud house, Tank trailing behind her.


* * * * *


As usual, come lunchtime Monday, Twilight had her nose buried in a book. Her friends hadn't seen her since the party Saturday; she'd told them she intended to spend Sunday researching the fake "magic" of this world.

To say she looked somewhat frazzled would be an understatement. "Are you okay, Twilight?" Rarity asked.

Twilight sighed. "Yeah, I just didn't get much sleep last night. This so-called "magic" may all just be cheap tricks and theatrics, but it's actually quite fascinating!" She paused, then frowned. "And I hate to admit it, but...I'm not sure I can learn to do even the most basic illusions in two weeks. I can just barely hold a pen, and these tricks require some serious finger control!"

"Oh? Like what?" Pinkie asked. Twilight pointed out a trick in the book she was reading. Pinkie looked it over, nodded, and said, "I can do that."

"Pinkie, you've only had hands a week. ONE! WEEK! There's no WAY—"

Pinkie Pie pulled a coin out of her purse, then began deftly flipping it over and under the knuckles of her right hand. The coin expertly passed across the top of one finger, then underneath the next, then over the back of the next. Then, abruptly, the coin vanished. Pinkie showed the others her empty hand with a flourish.

Rainbow Dash stared. "Whoa. How'd you DO that?"

Pinkie smiled, and pulled the coin out from behind Rainbow's ear. "Ta-daaah!"

Twilight gasped. "That...that's two different coin tricks! That...HOW?"

Pinkie shrugged. "I dunno. Same way I do crazy stuff like this back home, I guess." She continued playing with the coin, doing an assortment of light-fingered tricks, to the awe of her friends.

"Maybe YOU should be challenging Trixie," Rainbow said.

Pinkie laughed. "Nah, I wanna watch Twilight beat Trixie again. I'd be happy to be her assistant, though!"

Twilight sighed. "That's a relief. I think I'm gonna need your help with all this most of all."

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"


* * * * *


"TWILIGHT!" Rainbow Dash called as she barged into the library. "You have got to come see this!"

Twilight looked up from the intermediate unicorn primer she was reading. "What is it, Rainbow Dash?"

"I just saw my house for the first time! And it. Is. AWESOME!"

"Your house?" Twilight asked, frowning. "Oh, you mean pony-Rainbow's cloud house?"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm gonna move in today, now that I can fly and know where it is. But I want you to see this place. You REALLY have to see this place!"

Twilight smiled. "Well...I haven't really been practicing flying that much, but...I can fly across Ponyville without getting too tired. So...sure!"

The two ponies took wing, headed east. Despite her excitement, Rainbow Dash forced herself to keep a pace Twilight could keep up with.

When they reached the cloud home of Rainbow Dash, Twilight's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "That's..."

"I know, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, grinning.

Twilight shook her head. "How...how is something like that even possible?! I mean...it's a tower. Sitting on clouds! With columns! And...and...and rainbows don't work that way! How...what...I...just..."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Do you wanna go inside, or do you wanna stay here bein' an egghead?"

Twilight blinked, shook herself out of her physics-induced daze, and followed her friend into the impossible magical Pegasus house.

"Oh, and watch out for Tank!"

"Tank?"

*BONK*

"OW!"

"Yeah, I think that's how he says hi..."


* * * * *


Flash had asked Twilight to hang out after school. He didn't use the "d-word", but it was heavily implied. She had agreed, with much blushing, and the two of them wound up in a park not far from the dormitories, with an assortment of take-out food and a thick, warm quilt spread out on the cold, crunchy ground. Flash was tuning his guitar and strumming idly as they sat comfortably against each other, Twilight still studying her magic books.

"So, this Trixie thing," Flash said.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I should never have let her get to me. I'm going to make a complete idiot out of myself! I just...my fingers are practically useless, so how can I ever hope to do all these complicated tricks?"

"Hmm," Flash said. He idly strummed a few chords on his guitar. He paused, then looked down at his instrument. A slow smile spread across his face. "I know how you're going to get good enough to beat Trixie."

Twilight blinked and tilted her head. "Huh? How?"

In response, Flash drew her attention to his hands, then began playing a guitar solo. Twilight stared at the fast, intricate movements of Flash's fingers.

"Clear your schedule," Flash said. "You just signed up for two hours a day of guitar lessons."


* * * * *


Pinkie Pie had decided to turn Apple Bloom's cute-ceañera into a huge outdoor party at Sweet Apple Acres. She'd recruited Vinyl Scratch to help with the setup and to DJ the party. It had taken most of the week to turn an acre of barren, cold dirt into a dance floor surrounded by picnic tables, firefly lamps, buffet tables full of food and drinks, an earthshaking sound system, and lots of party decorations. Apple Bloom was wearing an outfit that consisted of a puffy-sleeved checkered blouse and bright red cowpony boots, with a Stetson covering her trademark hair bow. Rarity had insisted on designing an outfit that would leave her flank bare, allowing everypony to view her Cutie Mark. Most of Ponyville was in attendance, as was a sizeable portion of the extended Apple Family, who had been coming in for four straight days from far and wide.

"Congrats, Cuz!" Babs Seed said, dragging Apple Bloom into a hug. It was only one of many dozens of congratulatory hugs Apple Bloom had received, and her ribs were starting to ache. Still, she was very happy.

The cute-ceañera had started before sundown. It was now well into the night, and the party showed no signs of stopping any time soon. There had been plenty of dancing, eating, laughing, and general revelry for hours. Though Apple Bloom was mingling, her friends and fellow Crusaders were always close at hoof—and she'd been surprised that Silver Spoon was trailing their little group, and hadn't spent even a single minute of the party with Diamond Tiara. She wasn't talking to them much beyond congratulating Apple Bloom, but the fact that she was there with them was interesting enough to make the farm filly's mind spin.

As the Crusaders took a break from mingling and dancing to enjoy some of the good food, the conversation came around to the future of the Crusaders, and how the others would proceed with trying to earn their Cutie Marks. Apple Bloom had told them that the grown ponies who kept telling them that Cutie Marks come when the time is right had been right all along—that there was just no way you could rush a Cutie Mark. "But," she added, "that don't mean you just sit around waitin' t' find out who you are. Ah reckon th' real trick is, if there's somethin' you love doin' as much as life itself, then that's th' thing you oughtta do th' most. It might just be your special talent."

"Like you with fixing things?" Scootaloo asked.

"Eeeyup. Ah didn't realize how much Ah loved buildin' an' fixin' stuff, because Ah was always too wrapped up in all our crazy schemes t' see that there was one part Ah looked forward to most of all. Now that Ah know where Ah was goin' wrong, Ah know Ah coulda had mah Cutie Mark a long time ago, if'n Ah'd just paid attention t' mah big sis."

Sweetie Belle groaned. "Well then I'll never get my Cutie Mark," she whined. "I'm not good at anything! If you ask Rarity, I'm a walking disaster area! I don't think there's anything I love doing that much!"

As Vinyl Scratch started the next song, Apple Bloom suddenly got an idea. "Hey, Sweetie Belle," she said. Before Sweetie could even turn around, Apple Bloom was pushing her up onto the stage.

"Ack! What're you—Apple Bloom—!"

"Sing, Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom said.

"Huh? Sing?" Sweetie Belle paled. "I can't sing! I just...no, everypony's watching, they'll—"

"Just sing," Apple Bloom said with a smile. "For me. Please. Just sing."

Seeing this exchange, Vinyl grinned and changed the mix, levitating a microphone to the younger unicorn. "Go for it, kiddo!" she said.

Around the stage, the filly's friends started stomping their hooves and calling out her name. Feeling the heat rising in her face, Sweetie took the microphone and shakily started to sing the first thing that came to mind.

Everypony has a special something
Something only they can do
We're all looking, looking for that one thing
The one thing that'll make, make our dreams come true
Earth pony, pegasus, unicorn
Don't you know that we're all, that we're all the same?
It doesn't matter how or where you're born
There's just one way that you'll make, that you'll make your name...

Nervous at first, Sweetie Belle became more confident as everypony cheered her on. Her voice became stronger and clearer.

Find out who you are!
Just reach out and touch that brightest star!
It's never far away!
Everypony gets her Cutie Mark one day!

Sweetie Belle was now dancing as she sang, smiling at the crowd and encouraging them to dance and make noise. As she twirled around and raised the microphone high above her head to belt out the chorus again, a dazzling light engulfed her, sending winking sparkles trailing away from her flank like fireflies. The crowd cheered louder as the dazzling sparkles faded away, revealing...





Find out who you are!
Don't you know, don't you see, you're a shooting star!
It's never far away!
Everypony gets her Cutie Mark one day!

Find out who you are!
Go ahead, just reach up, touch a shooting star!
It's never far away!
Everypony gets her Cutie Mark one day!
One day!
Oooooone daaaaaay!
TODAY!
Cutie Mark Crusaders, yaa~aay!
> Phase VIII: Friends and Enemies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Practically everypony in Ponyville had slept in on the lazy Sunday after the cute-ceañera. It was one in the afternoon, and four fillies were gathered in the quaint little clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres, which had seen some interesting improvements in recent days, such as raingutters, a new roof, and a pully-driven lift.

"Ah hereby call t' order, this meetin' of th' Cutie Mark Crusaders, Ponyville Chapter!"

Apple Bloom stood at the podium, which was draped with a banner bearing the crest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Babs Seed sat facing her.

"We welcome our sister Crusader from th' Manehattan Chapter, mah cousin Babs!"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo applauded.

"Now, girls...we've got important business t' deal with today. So first off—"

She was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Sweetie stood to answer it, and leapt back in shock when she saw who she saw on the other side. "Huh?! Silver Spoon?!" The others exchanged alarmed glances and gathered around Sweetie Belle to look outside.

Silver Spoon stood on the landing, a meek expression on her face. She poked at the floor with one hoof. "Can I...can I come in?" she asked. "I'm not here to make trouble! Honest!"

The Crusaders looked to one another, then shrugged and stepped aside, allowing the lesser half of their worst enemy into the clubhouse.

"Whuddya doin' heah?" Babs challenged.

Silver fidgeted, staring at her hooves. "Well, first of all, I wanted to say that...I wanted to congratulate Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle." She looked up. "Oh, and Sweetie Belle...that song you sang last night? That was amazing!"

"Umm...thank you?" the unicorn filly replied, flummoxed.

Silver Spoon trotted over to the window that looked out over the farm. "So I've been thinking," she said, "ever since the day Apple Bloom got her Cutie Mark. What you said to Diamond Tiara, about...about your Cutie Mark actually meaning something..."

Apple Bloom's ears drooped. "Ah was way outta line," she said. "It weren't right'a me t' say somethin' that nasty just t' get back at y'all."

"Actually...I wanted to thank you for saying that," Silver Spoon said quietly.

Apple Bloom blinked. "Say whut now?"

Silver turned to look at her. "Do any of you know what my special talent is?"

The Crusaders looked at one another and shrugged.

Silver laughed. "I didn't think so. Nopony does." She shook her head. "Everypony assumes that my special talent is being stuck-up and nasty like Diamond Tiara, just because...well...I hang out with her being stuck-up and nasty." She sighed. "The truth is...I have the same talent as my dad. Silversmithing. You know, making things out of silver. Like jewelry and...heh...silverware." She gestured at her silver spoon Cutie Mark.

The Crusaders gaped at her. "I didn't know that," Sweetie Belle said.

Silver Spoon shrugged. "Like I said, nopony knows. Because all I've been doing lately is trailing after Diamond Tiara and being a spoiled brat. Which, by the way, is her special talent. Isn't that sad?" She chuckled. "And when you said what you said to her, it reminded me...it reminded me that I do have a real special talent, and that I wasn't always the way...the way I've been since I started hanging out with Diamond Tiara."

"Silver Spoon..." Apple Bloom said quietly.

"And you know what? She's been so much worse since that day. This past week, she's been totally unbearable! I can't even stand to be around her anymore, she's just so...so...UGH!" Silver Spoon tossed her braid. "So, I've been thinking..." She looked around at the Crusaders. "Your little club isn't just about getting your Cutie Marks, is it? It's really about having real friends and finding out who you are." She looked away. "I...don't have any real friends. And I've forgotten who I am. I want...no, I need to find myself again." She turned her eyes up to her former victims, while still keeping her face to the ground. "Can...can we be friends? Can I join you, so I can find myself again?"

The Crusaders looked around at one another, speechless. After far too long an uncomfortable silence, Apple Bloom said, "Silver Spoon? We'd...we'd be honored."

"Yeah, welcome ta da club!" Babs said.

"Thank you...thank you all," Silver Spoon said, looking up and smiling. "And...I promise I'll do everything I can to keep Diamond Tiara from bothering you. Bothering us now, I guess." Her smile took on a little of its old edge. "I know ways to shut her up."

The others giggled. "Well, you're just in time," Apple Bloom said. "Cuz we're about t' discuss important Crusader business."

"Oh?" Silver asked.

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle said. "Now that two of us have our Cutie Marks, and we know what we've been doing wrong all this time, we've decided it's time to reform the organization and change our mission statement."

Silver adjusted her glasses. "This sounds interesting." She joined the others as they took seats in a circle around the room.

"So," Apple Bloom said. "From now on, we're not doin' random crazy stuff all over Ponyville t' try t' get Cutie Marks in things we ain't no good at." With a mischevious grin, she added, "From now on, we're doin' random crazy stuff all over Ponyville just 'cuz it's a hoot."

"YAY!" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo chorused, giggling.

"But more importantly," Apple Bloom continued, "from now on, our main goal is t' help fillies an' colts that ain't got a Cutie Mark develop their own potential. Instead'a just doin' any old crazy thing that comes t' mind t' make Cutie Marks show up, we're gonna sit down an' talk all smart-like about what every Crusader's life is like, an' what it is they like t' do. That way, maybe we can help 'em find out what it is they're best at."

"Without burning down half of Ponyville in the process," Scootaloo added.

Sweetie Belle groaned. "Scootaloo! The only thing we ever burned down was the hardware store! And maybe the gazebo...a little..."

"AND," Apple Bloom said over them, "We gotta raise membership! There's fillies an' colts wanderin' around that ain't got their Cutie Marks, an' we gotta get 'em inta th' club so we can help 'em!"

"Like Button Mash?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Puh-LEEZE," Silver Spoon said, waving a hoof. "It's so obvious what his special talent is. Honestly, how does he not have a Cutie Mark yet?"

"Well...that's true," Sweetie Belle admitted. "But we can help him anyway."

"Yeah, sure, we can help your booooooyfrieeeeeend," Scootaloo teased.

Sweetie Belle turned red. "He is NOT!"

Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"

Sweetie groaned. "You have milkshakes together with somepony a couple times, and tongues start wagging...honestly!"

At that point, the meeting dissolved into silliness. By the end of the day, Silver Spoon had completely bonded with her new friends.


* * * * *


Sweetie Belle had gone down to Sugar Cube Corner to pick up "breakfast" for herself and Rarity. A bag of donuts and two lattes were clutched precariously in her hands as she returned to the boutique. She had just rounded the corner when she encountered their neighbors, two adults and a girl Rarity's age, who were loaded down with bags and looked exhausted. "Hey! You're back!"

Zile, a tall, slender Saddle Arabian girl with long black hair shot through with emerald green streaks, smiled and waved. "Hello, Sweetie Belle! Yes, we just got home. We had a long drive from the airport." She rolled her eyes as her father unlocked the door and began moving their luggage inside.

"So, how was Saddle Arabia?" Sweetie asked.

Zile sighed. "Dusty and boring. I'm happy to be home. I can't wait to catch up with all my friends!" She grinned. "I need to help Mama and Papa unpack, but I should be over later today to visit with you and Rarity."

Sweetie tensed up. Zile's family had been gone since the middle of September. She hadn't been present for the Fall Formal, didn't know about everything that had happened...

Zile tilted her head. "Is something wrong, Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie shook herself. "Uhhh, no. Just...welcome back," she said, smiling. "See you when you're done settling back in." With that, she pushed open the door to the boutique and headed inside.


* * * * *


A group of bleary-eyed mares with terrible sleep hangovers met up at Sugarcube Corner at a ghastly hour: noon. The only pony present who didn't feel as if they'd been run over by a buffalo stampede was Pinkie Pie.

"Ah can't believe how big that shindig last night was," Applejack said.

"Well, a pony getting her Cutie Mark is a huge deal," Twilight said. "I've been reading up on it, and it's not uncommon for a cute-ceañera to be a massive social event."

"Yeah, but the whole town turned out for it," Rainbow Dash said. "And now we've gotta put together another one for Sweetie Belle?"

"Yay! Planning Apple Bloom's cute-ceañera was so much fun, I can't WAIT for Sweetie Belle's!" Pinkie enthused. "I'm gonna make it even bigger and partier and cute-ceañeraier than last night!"

Everypony groaned. "Could we please discuss this tomorrow?" Rarity asked. "I only got about three hours of sleep. I can't even think straight right now."

"I agree," Twilight said. "We've got time to plan. We can wait until we're all a little more...well...lively."

"I'm lively enough for ten ponies!" Pinkie said.

"WE NOTICED," her friends chorused.

Rarity coughed delicately. "Ahem. Very well, Pinkie Pie. You may begin the planning today, and tomorrow, you may fill the rest of us in, and we can flesh out the details."

With that, everypony went their separate ways, visions of warm, comfy beds dancing in their heads—except for Pinkie, who downed three donuts and an iced mocha before turning her attention to a blueprint she'd found in her pony-self's bedroom, which was labeled "REPEAT ACTION PARTY CANNON MARK II".

"Pony Pinkie, I am so very in love with you right now."


* * * * *


Zile stretched as she flopped face-first onto her own bed for the first time in what felt like forever. "Ahh, it's great to be home!" It was the second pilgrimage her family had made since she'd been born. She hated going on these silly trips; all they amounted to was her missing her friends and having to catch up on months' worth of school work.

She rolled over on her back, sitting up. As she did so, she noticed a wrapped box sitting on her desk, with an envelope taped to the top. "Ah? What's this?" she wondered. Only one person could have left anything in her room: Rarity, with whom a spare key to the shop and the apartment had been left so that she could periodically clean up the house and water the plants. Sliding off the bed, she slipped into her desk chair and opened the envelope attached to the present. Inside, she found a DVD; curious, she turned on her laptop, which she'd been forced to leave behind (much to her regret), and slipped the disc into the drive.

A video popped open, and Rarity's face filled the screen.

//Hello, Zile. First of all, welcome home. I hope you had a pleasant time. A lot of things have happened while you were away. I wish I could tell you all about them in person, but...I'm afraid I'm not here, and will be away even longer than you were.//

"Huh?"

//The girl living next door to you at this moment, who looks and sounds like me, is not me. She might not even know who you are. It's difficult to explain, and you may not believe what you're about to see and hear, but I shall endeavor to explain the situation to the best of my abilities...//

Zile watched as a series of bizarre, grainy videos that looked like something out of a television show followed:

The school bully, Sunset Shimmer, and her cronies running out of the front doors of the school carrying a little purple dog.

A girl with rose-streaked purple hair charging out of the building, with Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash behind her.

A game of keep-away with a gaudy crown.

Sunset Shimmer putting on the crown and turning into some kind of demon.

The purple-haired girl and her five friends changing, with three of them growing wings and ALL of them growing little furry ears and hair extensions that looked like tails.

A massive, twisty rainbow laser beam smashing Sunset Shimmer into a smoking crater in the ground.

//This all occurred the night of the Fall Formal. It turns out Sunset Shimmer is from this parallel world of sorts, where magical talking ponies are real. Sunset Shimmer was such a pony; she came here after she fell into disfavor with her mentor. The portal between our worlds only opens every two and a half years or so, and passing through the portal turns ponies into humans, and vice-versa.

//Sunset Shimmer returned to her world before the Fall Formal to steal the crown of Twilight Sparkle—the purple-haired girl from the videos. In that other world, she is a pony princess, and her crown is a powerful magical artifact. Twilight followed her into our world to recover her crown, and we all helped her. She also repaired our friendships that, as it turns out, Sunset Shimmer was responsible for destroying.

//The power of the crown turned Sunset Shimmer into a literal monster, but we helped Twilight defeat her. After that, she...changed. She's no longer the mean, nasty girl you remember her as, and has become our friend, though it has been a rocky process.

//Twilight Sparkle went back to her world. A few weeks ago, the Twilight of this world transferred to Canterlot High, and we befriended her. It was difficult to persuade her that the events which took place at the Fall Formal really happened, but ultimately she accepted us.

//Then, just the other day, our Twilight made contact with that other Twilight. The portal had not re-opened, but it was possible to communicate with the other side. The two Twilights came up with a crazy plan: that other Twilight and her five best friends would switch places with their counterparts from our world—that is to say, myself, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. The only catch is that the portal could only be forced open from the other side, and only our counterparts can open it.

//The six of us have gone through the portal into this pony world. Our pony counterparts have replaced us in this world. Quite a few of the other students at school know about this, as do Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna, though many are skeptical of the whole thing.

//The portal will re-open in two and a half years, at which time we will return home, and our counterparts will return to their world. I know this is all quite far-fetched, but I assure you, every word of it is true. Zile, please be as dear a friend to the other Rarity as you have been to me. Oh, and I've left you a little present.//

Zile stared at the computer long after the video had ended, jaw scraping the desk. "What...WHAT?!" She shook her head. *This has to be some kind of...some kind of prank, right? A sick joke?*

But then she reminded herself that pranks and jokes weren't Rarity's style...and the sincerity of Rarity's plea struck a chord with her. She covered her face with her hands. *Oh...Rarity...what have you gotten yourself into now, you silly girl?*

She gazed at the box on the desk. Carefully unwrapping it, she lifted the lid and extracted a sleek pair of Rarity's signature fancy boots, in her favorite colors. She smiled. "Safe journey, my friend..."


* * * * *


Twilight shuffled wearily home from Sugarcube Corner to find an anxious Spike waiting in the reading room of the library, shuffling his claws. "Twilight!" the little dragon cried. "You have a visitor!"

"Who'd be..." Twilight yawned massively. "...visiting me at this ungodly hour?"

"...uh, it's one in the afternoon on a Sunday?" Spike shook his head. "Anyway, Princess Celestia's waiting for you in the kitchen."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Princess Celestia?!" She hurried into the kitchen, nearly tripping over her hooves.

Celestia, ruler of Equestria, sat primly at the shabby wooden kitchen table, piping hot tea for three already set out, along with a tray of tea biscuits. "Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle," she said. "I just wanted to drop by and have afternoon tea, and ask you how your first two weeks in Equestria have been." She chuckled. "Forgive me, I'm accustomed to taking tea and having conversation with your counterpart, and I hope to continue the tradition with you."

Twilight gaped like a fish. "Umm...sure."

Celestia tilted her head. "Are you well? You seem somewhat...out of sorts."

"Oh, sorry!" Twilight said, flushing. "I was just up really late last night. Applejack's little sister Apple Bloom got her Cutie Mark, and last night was her cute-ceañera. I think the entire town was there, and it went on half the night. And Rarity's sister got her Cutie Mark in the middle of the party!"

Celestia blinked. "Goodness. What an eventful evening! And it's so delightful to learn that two of the Cutie Mark Crusaders finally achieved their dreams. That leaves..." she pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Scootaloo, if I'm not mistaken?"

"I think that's right," Twilight said. "You know those girls?"

"Only by reputation," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Though I have received a friendship report or two from them." She smiled. "Come. Sit. Have tea. I believe you will find this blend to be lovely, and well suited to these delicious tea biscuits..."


* * * * *


Taking a deep, steadying breath, Zile knocked on the door of Carousel Boutique, which was closed for business. Sweetie Belle peeked around the drawn blinds, then unlocked and opened the door. "Um, hi Zile," she said apprehensively.

"Your sister left a very strange video in my bedroom," Zile said with no preamble. "Something to do with pony princesses and demons and magic crowns and a portal?"

Sweetie winced. "Yeah," she said. "Our Rarity's...gone. I mean, the Rarity that's here now is almost exactly the same, except her dress designs are totally different from the Rarity we know. She's also still having trouble sewing. She's not used to having fingers."

Zile raised an eyebrow. "Sweetie Belle, I've had a very long, boring trip. If this is Rarity's idea of a prank, well..." She shook her head. "I love a good joke as much as the next girl, if not more, but this is pushing it too far."

"It's no joke," Sweetie insisted. "It's all true."

Zile groaned and muttered something Sweetie couldn't understand. "Why would that silly girl go and do something this...foolish?"

Sweetie frowned. "Honestly? Rarity and her friends really didn't think this whole thing through. They all just got so excited by the idea that they pretty much jumped at the chance. Well, most of them. The ones that were holding out caved in under pressure."

"Meaning Fluttershy."

Sweetie laughed. "Actually, Fluttershy was really excited about all this. From what I hear, the second she found out she'd turn into a pony, she was raring to go."

Zile giggled. "I suppose that makes sense."

"Just come on upstairs and meet Rarity, alright?" Sweetie implored. "You'll realize pretty quickly she's not our Rarity."

"Alright then..."


* * * * *


The start of new week found Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo meeting up on the way to school. They were soon joined by Silver Spoon, who smiled as she saw them and fished several small, shiny objects from her saddlebag. "Here, girls," she said, tossing one to each of them. The fillies were surprised to see gleaming silver badges bearing the crest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, with the club's name engraved on each badge, and each tied to a shiny lanyard.

"Wow, Sil," Sweetie Belle said, examining hers. "These are amazing! Did you make these yourself?"

"Sure did," Silver Spoon said. "Well, my dad helped a little. He's still a lot better at fine engraving than I am, because he can use magic." She flushed. "The finer tools are a lot easier to handle with magic than hooves."

"Still, it's awesome that you can do something like that," Sweetie said. She looped the badge around her neck; the other two did likewise, admiring their bright shine in the morning sun.

"I'll need to get Babs' address later so I can mail hers to her," Silver said. She fished her own badge out of her saddlebag and hung it around her neck, buffing it. "I'll make one for every new member that joins up too."

"Is that really okay? I mean, silver ain't exactly cheap..." Apple Bloom said.

"Oh, it's no problem," Silver said airily. "We always have some off-grade ore that's not really up to merchandise quality. It's what I use for practice, and I get to make some stuff out of it that's just for me. Or whoever I decide to share it with."

"Cool," Scootaloo said.

"Yes, it's one of the perks of having a silversmithing Cutie Mark..."

An earsplitting shriek interrupted their conversation. "SILVER SPOON!"

Silver froze. "Oh, lovely." She sighed. "This...is not going to be pleasant."

"WHAT are you doing hanging around with those LOSERS?!" Diamond Tiara screeched, storming up to her "friend" while giving the Crusaders the evil eye.

Silver adjusted her glasses primly. "I'm not hanging around with losers," she said. "I'm hanging around with very nice ponies, and I'm lucky they accepted me after the way I've treated them."

Diamond Tiara gaped at her. "What...what has gotten into you, Silver Spoon?"

Silver fixed her with a penetrating stare. "I decided to stop being a spoiled, stuck-up, immature brat and a bully, and try making real friends and being true to myself." She flashed her brilliant new badge at Diamond Tiara, who froze, looking from one filly to another and noticing, for the first time, the identical badges they all wore.

"You...just...you...what...I...!" Diamond Tiara's mouth opened and closed like a stranded fish. "FINE!" she snapped. "Go catch loseritis for all I care! I never needed you anyway!" She stalked off in a huff, nose in the air.

Silver's new friends trotted up behind her. "You okay, Sil?" Apple Bloom asked.

Silver turned and nodded mutely. "Yeah. Yeah, I..." She shuddered. "It never hit me until just now, how nasty she really is." She sniffed. "I mean, I knew she was nasty, but..."

"But being on the receiving end is a little different, isn't it?" Sweetie asked quietly.

Silver nodded. "Yeah." She swallowed. "Girls, I...I'm so, so sorry...every mean thing I ever said to you, every time I ever helped Diamond Tiara bully you..."

"It's cool, Sil," Scootaloo said. "If we held grudges, we wouldn't be getting an awesome new friend like you."

"Yeah, an' if Diamond Tiara messes with you, we'll be there to mess right back!" Apple Bloom said.

The four fillies hugged and giggled, then trotted into the schoolhouse side-by-side.

From behind a tree, Diamond Tiara watched them, eyes narrowed. "Oh, this is not over, you little traitor..."


* * * * *


"Hey Twilight!" Rainbow Dash called as seven girls plus two boys gathered at the statue in front of the school. Monday had dawned cold and cloudy, with a chance of snow in the forecast. "We didn't see you or Flash all weekend!" She waggled her eyebrows. "Been keeping busy?"

Twilight flushed. "Rainbow Dash!" she huffed. "And for your information, yes. We were busy. With guitar practice, and planning my act."

Fluttershy looked concerned. "Um. Will you be okay? I'm sorry I haven't been helping as much as I should have..." She glanced guiltily at her boyfriend. "We've been a little busy."

"It's okay, Fluttershy," Twilight assured her. "To be honest, I feel guilty I haven't been hanging out with you girls as much this past week. It's just that between homework, two hours of guitar practice every day, and then working on the magic act, I haven't really had a lot of time to do anything else."

"We totally understand, Twilight," Rainbow Dash said. "Besides, once this thing's over with, you'll have more time to hang out again!"

Twilight smiled. "Yes. Yes I will. But I'm going to keep doing the guitar practice. It's kind of fun, even if it hurts."

"Hurts?" Pinkie Pie asked, blinking.

Sheepishly, Twilight removed her left glove and waggled her fingers. They were heavily bandaged.

Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "What the heck happened?!"

"Guitar strings are murder on the fingers," Flash said. "It takes a lot of pain and practice to build up the calluses a guitar player needs."

"But it's worth it," Twilight said. "I'm getting faster every day. We're also trying to plan out some tricks that I don't need to be fast for."

The group began moving toward the doors. "By the way, Twilight," Rarity said, "I've just about finished with your costume for the duel. You should come by after school for a fitting."

"Great!" Twilight exclaimed. "Thanks so much, Rarity."

"But of course."

As they neared the doors, three girls stepped out of the shadows to bar their path: the Blossom twins and Trixie.

"Like, good morning, lamers," Aloe said.

"Like, hope you like, enjoy your like, week," Lotus said.

"Because like, after this week? You'll like, never be able to show your like, faces in this school ever again." Aloe added.

Sunset groaned. "Okay, what are you dorks blabbering about now?"

The twins grinned. "We know you're all like, friends with this, like, poser," Lotus said, pointing at Twilight. "And we like, know all about the whole, like, magic thingie."

"So we're like, helping Trixie. With our money, she'll be able to like, buy all the best props and junk."

"And once she like, wins? You and your loser friends are like, done for here."

Twilight frowned. "Trixie? Why are you teaming up with these girls?"

Trixie smirked. "Because, Twilight Sparkle, the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE will prove that she, and she alone, is the greatest magician in Canterlot High!" Trixie tossed her hair and walked into the school. "Prepare to eat Trixie's dust!"

The twins flipped their hair and followed her inside.

Rainbow Dash stared. "That...that...that total cheater!"

"Now, it ain't cheatin' exactly," Applejack said. "Ah mean, it ain't like we ever set any rules."

"Applejack's right," Flash said. "Much as I hate to admit it, it's not as though Twilight and Trixie ever agreed to no outside help."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Outside help..." She grinned. "That's perfect! Flash, you're a genius!"

"Wish you'd tell my mom that," Flash said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh! Oh! Is this like the thing with the Alicorn Amulet?" Pinkie asked, hopping up and down in place. "The whole 'mix your magic and use the six' thing?"

"Exactly, Pinkie Pie," Twilight said. "Only this time, I think we've got to do it a bit more...creatively..."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Oh yeah. This is gonna be so awesome!"


* * * * *


Miss Cheerilee entered the schoolhouse to find quite a commotion brewing, centered around the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Silver Spoon. She frowned, fearing she would need to run intervention; she was painfully aware of the problems those three fillies had with her two most stuck-up students, but she worried that intervening at school would only make the problem worse beyond her meager walls.

Then she realized that the commotion was in fact a happy sort of commotion, and the babble of voices were pleasant and cheerful. "Class, settle down," she called out gently.

The students at once migrated to their own desks. As they did so, she caught sight of the brilliant silver badges her three most energetic charges wore. She did a double-take when she realized that Silver Spoon was also wearing one. "Goodness, girls," she said. "What's with the shiny badges?"

"Ah'm glad you asked, Miss Cheerilee!" Apple Bloom said. She nodded to the others, and the four fillies bounded to the front of the room. "Everypony listen up! We're here t' present...th' new, improved Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

"And we're open to new membership!" Sweetie Belle said.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders have a new mission," Silver Spoon said, adjusting her glasses. "Our mission is to guide ponies into discovering their special talent!"

"Not by trying to do every crazy thing in Equestria," Scootaloo picked up, "but by exploring what you like to do, and building on your personal interests!"

"O' course, we'll still do lotsa crazy stuff too," Apple Bloom said, "but it'll just be for fun!"

"We're open to anypony who doesn't have their Cutie Mark yet," Sweetie Belle said, "and also to anypony who does have a Cutie Mark, and either wants to help other fillies and colts find their special talent, or needs help understanding their own special talent!"

"If you've already found out who you are, but somewhere along the way you forgot who you're supposed to be, the Cutie Mark Crusaders will help you, with friendship and fun!" Silver Spoon added. "AND, all members get a badge, for a one-time membership fee of three bits!"

"We'll be signing up new members after school," Scootaloo said.

Cheerilee smiled at the fillies. "Well! That sounds wonderful, girls! I think you've come up with a really good idea! And I'm thrilled that you finally understand what earning your Cutie Mark really means!"

Apple Bloom giggled sheepishly. "Yeah, Ah guess it took us a while t' learn that lesson, but we done learnt it!"

"Well, I'm proud of you," Cheerilee said. "Now, get ready to learn a different lesson entirely, because I have to teach class now."

Apple Bloom yelped. "Ack! Ah'm sorry, Miss Cheerilee! Ah guess we got a mite carried away..."

"Oh, I don't mind at all. I loved your presentation," Cheerilee replied with a smile. "Now, take your seats, girls..."

As the Cutie Mark Crusaders trotted to their desks, Diamond Tiara watched them, eyes narrowed and arms folded.


* * * * *


After school, a war council of sorts gathered at the coffee shop.

"Alright, here's what we'll be doing," Twilight said, spreading out a hastily-drawn map of the auditorium. "I'm glad Principal Celestia agreed to let us use the school auditorium for the magic duel so we'll know our environment ahead of time."

"Is it me, or does it seem like pretty much everything fun around here happens at school?" Applejack asked.

"Principal Celestia loves seeing all her students have fun together," Flash said. "She's always eager to host all sorts of extracurricular stuff in the auditorium or the gym, as long as it doesn't interfere with classes or sports stuff."

"Right, so here's what we're going to do," Twilight said. "Flash, I can count on you and your band to back me up, right?"

"Of course!"

"Good. Now, the hard part's going to be pulling off some of the illusions I have planned out," Twilight said. "I'll need at least two of you up in the catwalks. Fluttershy, you're on animal detail. Pinkie Pie, I'll be counting on you most of all."

"Got it!"

"Now, here's what I have planned..."


* * * * *


Diamond Tiara fumed as she paced angrily back and forth on the bridge overlooking the stream.

How dare she?!

Who did she think she was?!

As she seethed over Silver Spoon's betrayal, she spotted Snips and Snails approaching, talking merrily about some or another lame thing. She turned to face them, eyes narrowed. "SNIPS! SNAILS!" she barked.

The two unicorn colts came to a halt, sharing a confused glance. "Uhhhh...yeah, Diamond Tiara?" Snips asked.

Diamond Tiara smiled evilly at them. "You two just became my new minions."

Snails blinked. "We did?"

"Yes. You did." Diamond Tiara nodded to herself, self-assurance firm. "Now, I need the two of you to ruin the Cutie Mark Losers and that backstabbing twerp Silver Spoon."

The colts blinked at one another, even more confused. "Uhhh...but DT, aren't you and Silver Spoon friends?"

"SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND!" Diamond Tiara screeched, rounding on them. "She decided she'd rather hang out with those losers than with me!"

The colts shared a glance, as if communicating telepathically. *Can unicorns do that?* Diamond Tiara wondered.

After a moment, they looked back at her.

"Maybe she just got tired of your bossy, selfish attitude," Snips said.

"Uhh, yeah. You're kinda mean and evil and stuff, eh," Snails said. "Maybe she just got sick of you."

"WHAT?!" Diamond Tiara screamed, eyes burning with fury. "How DARE you little morons—" She trailed off, forcing herself to restore her iron calm. "Fine. Put it this way. If you two goons don't help me, I'll make you the laughingstocks of Ponyville."

The colts shared a glance. "Uhh...we're already the laughingstocks of Ponyville, though," Snails said.

"Yeah! It's pretty much the only thing we've got to be proud of!" Snips added.

Diamond Tiara's eye twitched. "You little...do you have any idea what I can do to you?"

"Eh, cool off," Snails said. His horn lit up with a pale, flickering orange glow. Suddenly, Diamond Tiara felt herself flying through the air, wreathed in a wobbly magical aura. She'd just cleared the edge of the bridge when it died, and she plummeted into the stream with a loud splash and an indignant yelp.

"Let's go see what Button Mash is doing, eh?" Snails said conversationally, and the two colts went about their business, their encounter with the most spoiled brat in Ponyville forgotten.


* * * * *


Zile was waiting at the boutique when Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, and Twilight Sparkle entered late in the evening.

"Hello, Rarity," she said. She eyed Sunset Shimmer warily. "Sunset."

Sunset smirked. "Hey, welcome back. You missed all the 'fun'."

"So I've heard," Zile said neutrally.

"Hello there!" Twilight said, approaching the unfamiliar girl. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. I don't believe we've met. Or have we?"

"No, we haven't," Zile said. "I've been in Saddle Arabia for a few months. I wasn't here for what happened at the Fall Formal, nor did I meet the other Twilight Sparkle." She shook Twilight's hand. "I've learned all about everything that happened, of course. It's still quite hard to believe."

"Believe it," Sunset said. "You're the only one in this room who's actually human. The rest of us are all really ponies."

Zile shook her head. "Magical talking ponies...I've heard many strange things, but this is strange even by my standards."

"Can I help you with something, Zile?" Rarity asked.

"Actually, I just wanted to talk for a while. Since we're going to be neighbors," she made a horribly forced whinnying noise, causing the other girls to cringe, "for some time, I thought I should get to know you."

Rarity made a face. "Really, darling, that was...awful," she said. "But, yes, I'd love to get to know you better. Just give me a moment, alright? I've got to do a fitting. You know about the magic duel, yes?"

"Magic duel?" Zile asked, tilting her head. "I've heard nothing of this."

"Twilight got herself roped into a little contest with Trixie," Sunset said, smirking. "And the Blossom Twins upped the ante."

Zile raised an eyebrow. "The Blossom Twins? I ran into them in the halls today. I hate them already."

"Join the club," Twilight muttered.

"Come along, everyone," Rarity said. "The sooner we get this fitting done, the sooner we can all sit and chat..."


* * * * *


School on Tuesday passed uneventfully, with a few more ponies talking to the Cutie Mark Crusaders than usual, and Diamond Tiara radiating an aura of fury.

After school, Snips, Snails, and Button Mash trailed after the Crusaders. "Uhh, we wanna join up, eh?" Snails said.

"Yeah! Me an' Snails've already got our Cutie Marks, but it looks like you girls have a lot of fun, so we wanna play too!"

Button Mash looked hesitant. "I...don't know if I can spare much time to hang out with everypony, when whole galaxies are in danger and I'm the only one that can save them, but...Mom wants me to make friends and do stuff outside the house and away from my video games, so..."

Silver Spoon smirked. Sweetie Belle giggled. "Okay," she said. "You're all in. Pay your three bits to Silver Spoon, and she'll give you each a badge once we get to the clubhouse."

When they arrived, they found Twist waiting for them, eager to join.

"Wow, we doubled our membership in just one day!" Apple Bloom cheered.

"We're gonna need a bigger clubhouse," Scootaloo remarked.

"Maybe we can make that our first big project as a group?" Sweetie Belle offered. "I mean, building is Apple Bloom's special talent, but that's no reason to make her do all the work."

"We can have our own little barn-raisin'!" Apple Bloom declared. "Ah'll talk t' Big Macintosh about gettin' some lumber an' stuff, an' we can plan out an expansion!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders spent almost an hour talking and planning activities before parting, in high spirits, for their homes.

The next morning, however, the original Crusaders and Silver Spoon arrived to find half the class, minus the newest members, laughing at them. It didn't take long to find out why: Diamond Tiara had plastered the bulletin board with humiliating photos of the four fillies.

"Let's see who wants to be friends with you losers now," Diamond Tiara jeered.

Sweetie Belle paled. "Why you..."

Apple Bloom growled. "You little..."

Scootaloo pawed the ground. "You're the absolute worst...!"

Silver Spoon, however, said nothing. Instead, she pulled a small sachet out of her saddlebag and hurled it at Diamond Tiara. The latter filly blinked as the hurled object burst open and spilled its powdery contents over her face. She then sneered. "Really, Sil? That's all you've got? Throwing things? And not even heavy things?"

Silver Spoon merely smiled. "How would everypony like to hear a secret about Diamond Tiara?" she asked, voice raised. "She's allergic to nutmeg. Like, really allergic." She trotted over to her former friend, rolling her eyes. "Even smelling nutmeg..."

Diamond Tiara reflexively sniffed, and her eyes widened. "You didn't..."

Silver Spoon favored her ex-friend with a catty smirk. "...will give her a really bad case of the Trots."

The entire class laughed. Diamond Tiara, face flushed, bolted from the schoolhouse at a fast gallop. Silver Spoon calmly took down all the photos plastered on the bulletin board and tucked them into her saddlebags, then sat primly at her desk.

"Way to go, Sil!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Oh, it isn't over yet," Silver Spoon said. "We'll have to be careful. Diamond Tiara's likely to get her revenge."

"We need to put a stop to this before it gets any worse," Sweetie Belle said. "But how?"

Apple Bloom sighed. "We need t' do what we shoulda done a long time ago," she said. "We need t' talk with th' grown-up ponies."

"I agree," Silver Spoon said. "Besides, Diamond Tiara's all alone now. If we get her parents and Miss Cheerilee involved, maybe we can really put a stop to this. And we need to do it now, before she can get any new followers."


* * * * *


"Come in," Principal Celestia called out in answer to the knock on her office door. It was late in the afternoon; classes and activities had dismissed, so few if any students remained in the building. Not that she was expecting a student at the moment.

A woman wearing khaki pants and a tan canvas shirt with numerous pockets walked in. Her long hair was mostly black, with thick streaks of varying shades of gray. "Please, have a seat," Celestia instructed.

The woman sat down, folding her hands on the edge of the principal's desk. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," she said.

"Not at all," Celestia replied. "I'm honored, actually. I was honestly a bit surprised when I received your e-mail. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

The woman shifted. "I realize that it's the middle of the school year and this is really, really out there, but...I was hoping you might give me a teaching job here."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "You're right, that is an unusual request. Especially from someone with your background. You recently retired from a long and distinguished university professorship, did you not?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, me leaving the university was this huge hairy deal, but really, that job was always just a means to an end, and...I didn't really need the money anymore. It was just getting in the way of my real passion."

"Writing?" Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Heh...of course, writing. What else could I possibly be talking about?"

The principal frowned, crossing her hands in front of her. "Alright, so...if you quit teaching at a university to focus on your career as a writer, a career at which you are quite successful...why do you want a teaching position here, at the high school level? We don't even teach your subject here."

The former professor rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I'm more than qualified to teach history. And I've heard that the history teacher you have now is about to go on maternity leave soon anyway...I can totally pay her an extra two months' leave out of my own pocket if she bugs out now, before whale season."

Celestia's lips thinned at the other woman's crudeness. "You're not answering my question," she said.

The woman with the grayscale hair sighed. "Alright...the truth is, I want to research something I only recently became aware of. Something that's here, at this school."

"The portal."

"Yeah, that. I have to know if it's for real, and if it is, how it got there and why it exists."

Celestia was silent for a long moment. "So the rumors about you are true."

"What rumors?"

Celestia chuckled. "'What rumors', indeed." She shook her head. "I don't know..."

"Hey, just think of what having me on your staff would do for the school's image," the woman said.

"You certainly are full of yourself," Celestia noted.

"You bet," the woman replied with a cocky grin.

The principal shook her head and laughed. "Alright...I'll start working on the arrangements. If Ms. Harshwhinny agrees, you can probably start next week." The two women stood; Celestia reached across her desk to shake the other woman's hand. "Welcome to Canterlot High, Dr. Yearling."


* * * * *


Cheerilee trotted toward Filthy Rich's estate, frowning.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had told her about that morning's incident, and Silver Spoon had owned up to her own role in tormenting the Crusaders over the years. Now that she was friends with the girls, she wanted to help put a stop to Diamond Tiara's bullying once and for all. Cheerilee had agreed, and was on her way to have an emergency parent-teacher conference with Filthy Rich.

Arriving, she knocked on the door. She cringed inwardly when Diamond Tiara answered. "Miss Cheerilee! What brings you here?" the filly simpered.

"Oh, hello Diamond Tiara. I need to speak with your father."

"Oh? What about?"

"That's grown-up business," Cheerilee deferred. "Is he in?"

"Well...I'm not sure..." Diamond Tiara said.

"Oh? You're not sure if your father is home? Well then, what about your mother?"

"Mom's...asleep, I think?" Diamond Tiara hedged.

Narrowing her eyes, Cheerilee sat down on the doorstep. "Then I'll simply wait out here until I can speak to one of your parents," she said. "All night if I have to."

Diamond Tiara gulped. "Daddy's in the study," she said, stepping aside and allowing her teacher to enter.

"Thank you," Cheerilee said primly. She strode into the house and quickly found the study, where indeed Filthy Rich was reading. She cleared her throat. "Mr. Rich, if I might have a word with you?"

Filthy Rich looked up. "Oh, good afternoon, Cheerilee!" He set aside his book and straightened his tie. "What brings you around?"

As Cheerilee explained the purpose for her visit, Rich's face grew progressively darker and angrier. By the time she had finished speaking, he nodded once, sternly. "Thank you for bringing these matters to my attention, Cheerilee. I'm aware that my daughter has a problem with her attitude, but I had hoped she would have learned her lesson by now." He cleared his throat, then yelled for his daughter.

Diamond Tiara trotted into the study. "Yes, Daddy?"

"Young lady, we need to talk..."


* * * * *


As the appointed day drew closer, Twilight and her friends practiced their routine. Flash and his friends protected every entrance to the auditorium, ensuring that the Blossom twins and Trixie were denied every opportunity to spy on the competition.

The difficult routine Twilight had created required perfect timing, and coordinating her friends' timed assists was difficult, but as the week rolled on, the tricks were starting to come together, and Twilight grew ever more confident that she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

"Thank you all," she said to her friends as they took a dinner break. "I really appreciate this. I couldn't do this without my friends."

"Hey, we've always got your back," Rainbow Dash said. "You know that."

"I'm actually having a lot of fun," Sunset said. "If I knew having friends and doing stuff together was this much fun, I'd have turned good a long time ago."

"I just hope we can make this work when the whole school is watching," Fluttershy said, some of her old nervousness returning. "That's a lot of pressure..."

"Fluttershy, you're not helping!" Rarity said in a sing-song tone. "Twilight, darling...just relax and enjoy yourself. Win or lose, the important thing is we gave it our best, and we're having fun."

Twilight smiled. "You're right! Thanks, Rarity. Thanks, everyone."


* * * * *


When Diamond Tiara reported for school the morning after Cheerilee's visit, an awkward silence descended upon the fillies and colts at the Ponyville Elementary School.

Filthy Rich had decided that stern lectures, grounding, and forced chores were insufficient punishment, as they had not deterred Diamond Tiara from harassing and bullying other students. In light of her recent escapades, and her history of tormenting the Cutie Mark Crusaders for being "blank-flanks", he had decided that the punishment needed to fit the crime, or there would be no hope of Diamond Tiara ever learning her lesson.

And so, he'd shaved off Diamond Tiara's Cutie Mark, and confiscated her precious little tiara.

Everypony in the classroom stared at Diamond Tiara, whose perfect pink coat was marred by the square of shorn, gray flesh on either flank.

She sat at her desk, folded her arms, and glanced around crossly. "What are YOU all looking at?" she demanded.

The classroom exploded with young laughter. Diamond Tiara's ears wilted, and she sunk as low as possible behind her desk.

*Silver Spoon and her new friends will pay for this...*


* * * * *


The day of the magic duel arrived. After school, the Canterlot High auditorium was packed with students and teachers; nearly everyone had turned out for the strange spectacle.

Hoity Toity had appointed himself emcee of the contest. He stood in the center of the stage, which had been decorated with a "mystical" backdrop. "Welcome, everyone, to a special showdown of magical mastery! Two girls will perform feats of illusion that will bend your mind and leave you in awe and amazement! ARE YOU READY?"

The crowd cheered.

"Then let's introduce our contestants!"

The lights dimmed, and to Hoity Toity's left, a burst of pyrotechnics erupted from the stage, sending up a thick plume of colored smoke. After a moment, the smoke dissipated to reveal Trixie, dressed in elaborate, spangled purple robes covered in gold sequin stars and crescent moons, a tall, pointy hat perched jauntily upon her head. She waved at the audience, emitting bursts of glitter from her sleeves. "The Great And Powerful Trixie HAS ARRIVED!" A moderate cheer went up for Trixie.

Then, the auditorium went pitch black.

Everyone gasped and began murmuring wildly.

Twilight Sparkle's voice echoed through the auditorium. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"

A ghostly, glowing white shape began to descend from above, the only object visible in the pitch black auditorium. Murmurs and whispers rose in volume as the white shape glided slowly to the stage. As soon as it touched down, it vanished.

A single spotlight illuminated the point where it had landed.

Twilight Sparkle stood there, wearing an abbreviated white tuxedo jacket over a low-cut periwinkle corset, nylons, and white high heels. A periwinkle satin collar around her neck sported an orange silk bowtie. She wore a tall, white silk top hat with a periwinkle satin band. She took a bow, and the crowd cheered wildly.

"What an entrance by Twilight Sparkle!" Hoity Toity cried as the lights came back up. "Well, now that our two competitors are here, let the magic begin!"

The Blossom twins wheeled out a large stone cauldron and placed it before Trixie. With a flourish, a slender wand appeared in Trixie's hand. "Trixie will now summon forth the magic flame!" She waved her wand at the cauldron, which burst into bright blue flames.

"Magic flame? More like magic lame!" Twilight retorted, stretching her arms out to her sides and above her head. Three balls of bright orange fire floated out of each hand, hovering above her for several seconds. The fireballs then exploded with a loud bang! and a puff of smoke, revealing doves which flew up and out of view, cooing.

Trixie's left eye twitched. "Such an amateurish move! Behold the workings of a master of magic!" She waved her wand over her cauldron, and a flowing silk banner emerged from the flames, shimmering in their light. The pale blue and silver silk twisted and rippled, forming elaborate patterns as it floated above the flames: a helix, a mobius, a spiral, a five-pointed star. Finally, it pooled at Trixie's feet. She leaned down, swept up in her hands, and whipped it around herself. Once she was completely concealed, there was a puff of smoke; the silk fell to the ground, revealing...nothing. Trixie had vanished.

Twilight yawned theatrically, raised her hand above her head, and snapped her fingers. A canvas screen painted to look exactly like the backdrop of the stage was yanked roughly aside, revealing Trixie standing behind it. The audience laughed. Trixie's face flamed with humiliation.

For the next half hour, the two girls dazzled the audience with an array of illusions involving fire, birds, rabbits, cloth, smoke, mirrors, and explosions. Occasionally, they would try to trip each other up, debunking or interrupting one another's tricks, to the amusement of their audience.

At long last, the time for the grand finale arrived. Trixie wowed the audience with an illusion that seemingly transformed a bronze statue of a lion into a real, live lion, which then jumped through a ring of fire, transforming into a small flock of sparrows in mid-leap, which circled the stage, chirping, before releasing midair bursts of brilliant sparklers.

"That was actually pretty impressive, Trixie!" Twilight admitted. "But I'm afraid it's nothing compared to this."

Twilight clapped her hands. A massive cloud of purple smoke obscured the stage, clearing after almost a full minute to reveal Flash Sentry and his band standing behind Twilight, tuned up and ready to play.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "That's it? That's your big finish?"

"No, that's just my backup band arriving for my finish," Twilight said. "Boys? Hit it!"

The band began to play, and Twilight slowly rose into the air, hovering three feet above the stage. She began to glow, a shimmery purple mist rising from her skin.

"And now," Twilight said, her voice echoing through the auditorium, "I will show you something you've never seen before...a living, breathing, pony princess!"

The audience oohed.

Twilight threw back her head, shafts of light erupting from her eyes. The glow of her skin and the rising mist intensified, before she exploded in a bright violet starburst. Twinkling dust rained down on the stage...along with Twilight's clothes.

The students and teachers gasped as, where there had once been a teenage girl, there was now a lavender pony with broad, feathery wings, a tapered horn, shining golden horseshoes, and a gleaming crown perched upon her violet mane. The pony smiled at them all, beating her great wings gracefully. "Thank you, thank you all! You've been a wonderful audience!"

Trixie stared, jaw gaping, as Twilight flew up into the rafters. The band trailed off, took a bow, then left the stage. A massive cheer rose.

Hoity Toity hopped back onto the stage. "Well, that was...I've never seen anything like that before! That was a truly brilliant...something! Well done, well done indeed! Let's have one last round of applause for our lovely, talented magicians!"

A half hour later, Trixie was packing away her props when the Blossom twins approached her. "You're like, pathetic," Aloe spat.

"Yeah, a total like, loser," Lotus said. "We're like, taking back all your like, stuff."

As the twins' butler hauled away Trixie's props, the defeated, disgraced magician prowled the wings. After ten minutes of searching, she found Twilight, dressed in casual clothes, surrounded by her knot of friends. They were all laughing and talking. She approached the other girl stiffly. "Well, Twilight Sparkle," she said, "I hope you're pleased with yourself."

"Look, I really hope there's no hard feelings," Twilight said. "I'd really like us to be friends. Or at least, not enemies." She smiled hopefully.

Trixie frowned. "I just want to know one thing," she said. "That last illusion. How?"

"Oh, Trixie," Sunset Shimmer said, chuckling. "You of all people should know that a magician never reveals her secrets."

"Besides," Rainbow Dash said, "who said it was an illusion? Twilight really is a pony princess."

Trixie snorted, tossing her hair and stomping away huffily. Once she was gone, Twilight laughed. "Same old Trixie," she said. "Come on, we'd better get that hologram thing back to Poindexter."
> Phase IX: Hearts And Hooves And Hands
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The six girls from Canterlot High gradually adapted to life as ponies.

Twilight Sparkle found her magic improving bit by bit every day and spent many hours reading her way through the library, learning everything she could about Equestrian history, magic, biology, culture, and more, as well as reading every Daring Do novel.

Rainbow Dash, having more than adapted to flying, took up her double's job on the weather patrol, and found herself enjoying cloudbusting and rainmaking. She also spent a lot of time with Scootaloo, and gradually warmed up to the strange flying tortoise she'd been stuck caring for.

Pinkie Pie's life remained virtually unchanged, apart from having to spend all her non-working hours getting acquainted with every pony in town and learning their alternate life stories—and in many cases, meeting ponies for the very first time in either world.

Fluttershy readily took to caring for the various animals, and proved herself to be far more at ease with her wings than the pony Fluttershy; she was more likely to be seen flying around Ponyville than walking. She also proved more adept at handling Angel, to the rabbit's dismay. She vowed to leave her counterpart's secret knitting chamber sealed, however.

Applejack learned that farm work as a pony was completely different than farm work as a human; in some ways harder, in some ways a lot more fun. Her new pony family was a lot like her own family back home, which made the transition easier. There had, of course, been plenty of embarrassing incidents that Apple Bloom would tease her over from time to time.

Rarity wasted no time in revamping the boutique's entire line, and soon, her new style attracted attention from Hoity Toity and Prim Hemline. Hoity Toity lamented that the "original" Rarity's fashions wouldn't be seen for some time, but lauded the "new" Rarity's completely different style as "a breath of fresh air". She also quickly learned that the pony version of Sweetie Belle was a walking disaster area in ways that made her thankful for her own relatively sane (by comparison) little sister.

On the other side of the mirror, school life marched on at a sedate pace.

Twilight spent as much time alone with Flash Sentry as she did with her friends, and was rarely seen without the shimmery purple electric guitar Flash had given her. She'd also developed an interest in classic rock, and frequently strummed out bits of bluesy riffs with varying degrees of competence.

Rainbow Dash slowly adapted to her new body, and made gradual progress toward being able to play soccer without completely embarrassing herself. The rude comments from her teammates began to decrease in number, and the boys quickly learned that she had as little interest in them as her counterpart did, and was far more likely to kick them in the nuts for making lewd remarks.

Fluttershy had decided to keep the black-dyed streak in her hair, and had adopted what Sunset Shimmer liked to call a "perkygoth" style; she was now dating Bobbi Gibson exclusively, to the dismay of many.

Rarity spent much of her free time researching the fashion designs of the human world, trying to find a new style that would keep her boutique afloat (despite Sweetie Belle repeatedly assuring her that money was not a problem); she also spent quite a bit of time with her neighbor Zile, who had been inducted into the group of friends, though she spent more time with Rarity than the others.

Applejack had little difficulty in adjusting to her new life, as similar as it was to her old; her only lingering hangup was the horses on the farm, which she steadfastly refused to ride or even have anything to do with.

Pinkie Pie...was Pinkie Pie.

As January wore on into February, shops on both sides became noticeably more pink-and-red themed, with more heart shapes popping up, far more advertisements promoting chocolates, flowers, and expensive jewelry; wherever you looked, there was a definite feeling in the air:

Desperation.


* * * * *


"No, no, NO! This is ALL WRONG!" Flash shouted angrily. "'Like a ninja of love'? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!"

"You're asking me?" Bobbi retorted. "You're the one who wrote it!"

Flash looked over the lyrics—written in his own handwriting—and facepalmed. "Gah. Last time I stay up until three in the morning working on a song." He crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the trash. "Alright, let's try this again, without the suck."


* * * * *


As Pinkie Pie made crepes for a hungry mid-morning customer, she observed Mr. Cake talking to an older stallion. She couldn't really hear what they were saying, but the older stallion was making some very emphatic hoof gestures, and Mr. Cake seemed to be trying to reassure him. After nearly ten minutes of this, Mr. Cake wrote out something on a slip of parchment, which the older stallion stamped with a fancy horseshoe. Once the stallion left, Mr. Cake wiped some sweat from his brow and poked his head into the staircase in the back to shout something at Mrs. Cake.

Finishing up her customer's order, Pinkie trotted over to Mr. Cake. "What's up?" she asked. "That looked like a pretty serious discussion."

Mr. Cake sighed. "Wedding cake order," he explained. "That guy's from Canterlot, but his daughter just moved to Ponyville to be with her fiance. They're getting married here, so her father decided to have the cake made locally so he wouldn't have to have it shipped from Canterlot. And probably because he figured a local shop would be cheaper," he muttered.

"Ooooh," Pinkie said. "I love weddings! Maybe I can help with the party planning!"

"Don't even think about it," Mr. Cake said. "Sorry, but you're almost identical to our Pinkie Pie, and...well...Pinkie Pie and Canterlot high society don't really mix. She found that out the hard way a couple years ago."

Pinkie made an 'ick' face. "High society? Yuck. You're right, I'll pass."

Mr. Cake chuckled. A moment later, Mrs. Cake trotted downstairs. "What is it, Carrot?"

"We have a special order, dear," Mr. Cake said. "A wedding cake."

Mrs. Cake blinked. "A what cake?"

"You heard me."

"Well, yes, but..." Mrs. Cake frowned. "We've...never actually tried to make a wedding cake before."

"What's the big deal?" Pinkie asked. "A cake is a cake is a cake."

"After the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, I think we can handle a wedding cake," Mr. Cake said.

Pinkie blinked. "The what?"

Mrs. Cake chuckled. "Well, yes, that's..." She frowned. "Still, it took us months to get that cake right. How long do we have on this wedding order?"

"The wedding's on Hearts And Hooves Day," Mr. Cake said.

Mrs. Cake slumped. "Of course it is."

"Hearts And Hooves Day?" Pinkie asked.

"It's a special day for ponies who are in love," Mr. Cake explained. "And it's only two weeks away."

Pinkie blinked, then checked the calendar hanging on the wall. "On the fourteenth?" At Mr. Cake's nod, her eyes widened. "Oooooh, so it's Valentine's Day! Well, that explains all the red and pink and hearts all over town!" She giggled. "Silly me, I'd totally forgotten!"

"Valenwhat now?"

"Human version of Hearts And Hooves Day," Pinkie said offhandedly. "Okay, so we've got two weeks to make a super-awesome perfect wedding cake? Then we'd better get to work!"


* * * * *


As they did every Saturday morning, the girls got together for brunch. The location and the fare changed every weekend, but one rule was strictly followed: no boys allowed. Zile had been invited to join in on these weekend brunches, and had readily accepted.

The first day of February happened to fall on a Saturday, and found eight girls lounging around Fluttershy's apartment, dining on an assortment of flaky pastries while chatting, reading, surfing the web, or watching television.

"So, Twilight," Sunset Shimmer asked as she spread raspberry preserves on a croissant, "got any hot plans for Valentine's Day yet?"

Twilight looked up from her Bookpad, blinking. "Valenwhat?"

"Hearts And Hooves Day," Sunset said. "Same thing, anyway. Romance, candy, flowers, sappy sappy. You and Flash doing anything special?"

Twilight frowned. "Not that I know of."

"Eh, he probably just hasn't mentioned it yet," Sunset said. "That, or he's planning to surprise you by writing some corny love song." She smirked. "He pulled that one on me one time. Trust me, he should just stick to playing guitar."

"I don't really like being reminded that you used to date him," Twilight said crossly, reaching for a plain cake donut. "But...you do have a point about the songs he writes. I've poked through his songwriting notebook." She pulled a face. "It's...ick."

"Maybe he should take lessons from this guy," Pinkie cut in, turning up the volume on Fluttershy's television. On the screen was a man with long, curly brown hair, wearing a lurid yellow tropical shirt and playing an accordion. "He's really funny!" Pinkie let out a snorty giggle.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Cheese Sandwich is a parodist, Pinkie. That's not exactly the kind of music Flash wants to write."

"Awww! But it's so much fun!"

"Isn't there going to be a Valentine's dance at school?" Zile asked. "I mean, we have one every year, but I have heard nothing of it so far..."

"Now that you mention it, Celestia hasn't said anything about the Valentine's dance at all, huh?" Sunset said, taking a bite of her croissant. "I wonder what's up with that."

At that precise moment, their phones all chimed at once with a mail notification.

"Whoa. That was weird," Applejack commented, looking slightly spooked.

Fluttershy pulled out her phone and opened it. "That IS weird," she said. "It's an e-mail from Principal Celestia, about the Valentine's Dance."

"You're kidding!" Rainbow Dash said, checking her own phone. "Huh. Fancy that."

"'To all students,'" Twilight read from her own phone, "'The annual Canterlot High Valentine's Dance will be held on Valentine's Day in the school gym at 8:00 P.M. Also, for those students in Ms. Harshwhinny's history class, Ms. Harshwhinny is taking her maternity leave ahead of schedule. We will be welcoming a new faculty member, Dr. A.K. Yearling, as her replacement. Dr. Yearling will begin teaching effective Monday.'"

Rainbow Dash perked up. "A.K. Yearling? The author of Daring Do?!"

"Calm down, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she put her phone away. "I've already checked up on it. This world's A.K. Yearling writes a completely different book series called Hermione Danger. It's similar to Daring Do, but so far I've only really skimmed the first book."

"Huh," Rainbow said. She pulled out her own Bookpad and browsed to the online store. "How the heck do you spell that?"


* * * * *


The Cutie Mark Crusaders had not been bothered by Diamond Tiara for quite some time, to their collective relief. Ever since the shaving incident, she'd opted to remain silent and sullen, shooting evil glares at anypony wearing a silver badge.

Membership had topped out at nine for the Ponyville branch with the addition of Dinky Doo. Ponyville had largely been spared the chaos of hyperactive little ponies running amok, as the Crusaders had been busy redesigning their clubhouse; with Big Macintosh's help, they had raised a small barn adjacent to the original clubhouse. It had taken just over a week of working after school to paint, furnish, and decorate the new clubhouse. The original was still in use; Silver Spoon had dubbed it the "Executive Administrative Suite", where the "senior members" could gather for important strategy meetings.

Having felt the urge to read a good book lately, Silver Spoon made her way to the library. As she approached, she encountered Button Mash. "Hello, Button," she said.

Button blinked. "Oh, uh, hi," he said awkwardly.

"Checking out a book?" Silver asked.

"Oh, uh...yeah, I hope. I need a strategy guide for Castlemania. I can't get past the starspiders in the Hall of Hooves."

Having nothing to say to that, Silver Spoon trotted up to the door and knocked. Spike let them in. "Hey guys," he greeted.

"Hello Spike," Silver said. "What's a good read? That isn't Daring Do?"

"Not a fan, huh?" Spike asked, chuckling. "Well, we just got some new stuff in the Romance section, if you're into that mushy stuff. Tis the season and all."

"It is?" Button Mash asked. "Oh, and, uh, strategy guides?"

"Back that way," Spike said, pointing to a rarely-touched shelf. As they browsed the shelves, Spike asked, "So, you doing anything special for Hearts And Hooves Day?"

Silver shrugged. "Don't have a coltfriend, not really looking." She paused, then cast a sly glance at Button Mash, who was busy browsing the slim selection of strategy guides. "Buuuuuuuuuuut...you just gave me a really good idea..."

Spike looked back and forth between the two. "Huh? What, him? I didn't figure he'd be your type..."

"Not for me!" Silver hissed. "But there's this rumor going around about Button Mash and Sweetie Belle..."

Spike blinked. "Whoa. Seriously?"

Silver grinned. "Say, Spike...how'd you like to help out with a little matchmaking scheme?"

"Nuh-uh, count me out," Spike said frantically. "Get the other Crusaders to help, I'm not getting mixed up in that."

"Oh, you're no fun," Silver huffed.

Button suddenly began wailing. "YOU MEAN I GOTTA GO BACK TWO WHOLE STAGES?! HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH..."

Spike winced. "Yeah...good luck."


* * * * *


When the girls parted ways for the afternoon, Zile met up with her friend Krystal to do some shopping.

"So, what's new with the horse club?" Krystal asked.

Zile sighed. "Would you please stop calling them that? Even I don't think it's funny."

"Sorry." Krystal cast about for another subject. "So, Noteworthy broke up with...whatever her name was. Rumor has it he's hoping to hook back up with you."

"Not really interested," Zile said. "Besides, there is already someone I..."

Krystal stopped in her tracks and turned to face Zile directly. "Oh no. Not this again. Especially not now."

"Why? Just because she's...changed?"

Krystal sighed. "Even putting...that...aside, you realize this is gonna go over like a lead balloon, right? And then things will just be awkward from now on." She shook her head. "How many times do I have to tell you what a huge mistake it'd be?"

Zile frowned. "I will never know for sure until I try." She stepped around her friend and walked briskly.

Krystal sighed and hurried to catch up with her. "This will NOT end well," she muttered to herself.


* * * * *


After Silver had finished browsing, she trotted over to Button. "Say, are you hungry?" she asked. "I'm in the mood for a milkshake."

"I love milkshakes!" Button said. He nosed through his saddlebags. "And I think I've got just enough allowance left to have one."

"Oh, it'll be my treat," Silver said. "I wanted to talk with you about something."

"You need my expert help with a game you're stuck on? Or you want to know the coolest games to buy?"

"Not...so much," Silver said. "Just come with me, I'll explain at the cafe."

Ten minutes later, the two were sitting at Silver Spoon's favorite outdoor cafe, with large chocolate malts topped with whipped cream in front of them. "So, rumor has it you spend time with Sweetie Belle now and again."

Button tilted his head. "Well...wait, you mean outside of the Crusaders?"

"Yeah."

"Eh..." Button thought about it. "There WAS that one time we had milkshakes together. I mean, we weren't really together together, we just kinda ended up at the same table. And I got a bad brainfreeze." He paused. "Oh, and I taught her how to play Minedigger. Sometimes I'm her backup while she digs for stuff."

"So, you wouldn't say you're her coltfriend or anything," Silver said slyly.

Button paused in mid-slurp. "Ehh...co...colt...friend?" His head tilted ninety degrees. His beanie slid askew and stopped spinning.

Silver giggled. "I think you'd make a pretty cute couple..."

"Me and Sweetie Belle, huh..." Button trailed off, sipping his malt as he gazed upward, drifting away into a daydream...

The unicorn filly lay on the ground, weeping in despair. Thunder rumbled, lightning split the sky, and rain poured down, drenching her mane and coat.

A second rumble drowned out the thunder, and a bright light tore through the gloom. Sweetie Belle looked up to see a motorcycle approaching. It rumbled to a stop a few feet away, and a large, muscular figure dropped to the ground, hooves clad in steel-soled leather boots clanking on the ground as he approached.

Sweetie looked up. The bike's headlight, combined with a sudden bright flash of lightning, illuminated a large, muscular brown stallion with a fiery red mane. He wore a heavy black leather jacket and the coolest pair of shades she'd ever seen. He reached a hoof out to her.

"Come with me if you want to love," he said.

"Button? You're...drooling in your milkshake."

Button blinked. "Huh, whuzzah?" He snorted, inadvertently inhaling creamy chocolate malt goodness up his nose. "OH! AGH! OW! AAAAHHH!" He fell off his chair and rolled around on the floor, coughing and snorting and moaning.

Silver stared at him. "This...may not be as easy as I'd hoped..."


* * * * *


"Oh man, I'm so excited!" Rainbow Dash said Monday morning, as the girls approached the school. "Having A.K. Yearling as a teacher is gonna be SO awesome!"

Twilight frowned. "Uhh...Rainbow Dash? You're in Mr. Waddles' history class. You're not getting Dr. Yearling."

Rainbow froze, left eye twitching. "Oh, ponyfeathers..."

Pinkie patted Rainbow on the shoulder. "Cheer up, Dashie! History's a boring class no matter WHO teaches it!"

After lunch, Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity filed into history class. The new teacher sat at the desk. She wore a khaki outfit, and her dark hair was streaked with several shades of silver and grey. Once the bell rang, she did a quick headcount, eyes flicking from the class roster to the full seats, then stood and cleared her throat.

"Good afternoon, kids. I'm Dr. Yearling, and I'll be teaching here for a while. I know what you're thinking: 'wow, she looks JUST like Hermione Danger!'. Well, of course I do. I modeled her after myself. But we're not here to talk about me and my books. We're here to talk about history." She picked up a clipboard and scanned it. "It seems Ms. Harshwhinny was covering Ancient Capranubia with this class." She frowned thoughtfully. "Okay. Here's a quick question: why did the Capranubians worship cats?" She waited for all of five seconds before adding, "Because they lived in a giant litterbox." Throwing the clipboard aside, she walked around her desk, leaned backward against the front, and grinned. "Now let's talk about something fun."


* * * * *


The six teens-turned-pony gathered for dinner at a small cafe near Sugar Cube Corner. While their palates were adjusting to the normal Equestrian diet, they still preferred to eat things that didn't include hay and flowers; luckily, food they recognized was in no short supply.

"You look plumb tuckered out, Pinkie Pie," Applejack commented as she tore a fresh, hot, steaming roll in half and took a bite.

Pinkie gulped down a glass of carrot juice before replying. "The Cakes have a big important order and not much time to get it right, so I'm doing more of the normal work than usual right now. Even for me it's hard work!"

"An important order?" Twilight asked.

"Some Canterlot bigwig ordered a cake for his daughter's wedding," Pinkie said. "Since his daughter lives here in Ponyville and all."

"Oh, THAT wedding!" Rarity said. "I've been hard at work on the dresses for the bride and bridesmaids." She took a dainty bite of a cucumber sandwich. "I must say, it's a challenge. I've never designed a wedding dress before, and I'm still getting used to...well, you know."

"Yeah, the Cakes have the same problem. I mean, about never making a wedding cake before," Pinkie said. "They wanna get the recipe just right, and they only have until Hearts And Hooves Day."

"Hearts and what now?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Valentine's Day," Pinkie amended.

"Oh. Bleah," Rainbow said, making a face.

"What? You don't like Valentine's Day?" Fluttershy asked. "I think it's lovely...even though I've never had a boyfriend..."

"All I ever get are cheap cards and useless flowers from sweaty guys whose idea of a good time involves the back seat of their car," Rainbow said. "Not that I'm big on all that love and romance and stuff."

Applejack's brow furrowed in thought. "Ah wonder if them other usses left behind boyfriends here."

"Nope," Pinkie said. "Other-Pinkie's notebook said no special someponies." She toyed with her plate. "Kinda sucks we're all in the same boat, huh?"

The six mares looked at one another, sighed, and flagged down a passing waiter to order a lot of chocolate.


* * * * *


Zile was headed for the library during her free period when she was flagged down in the hall by the music teacher, Ms. Heartstrings. "Do you have a few minutes, Zile?" Ms. Heartstrings asked.

"Of course," Zile replied. She followed Ms. Heartstrings to the teachers' lounge. Ms. Sweetdrops, the home ec teacher, was sitting there drinking coffee. A hand mixer lay on the table in front of her.

"Told you she had a free period," Ms. Heartstrings said.

"So you did," Ms. Sweetdrops said. She looked up at Zile. "Sorry to trouble you, but is there any way you can fix this mixer?"

"I can certainly take a look at it," Zile said, having a seat at the table and pulling the tools she always carried with her out of her bag. She opened the mixer up, poked around inside, and nodded. "I see the problem. This will only take a minute." True to her word, Ms. Heartstrings barely had time to put on a fresh pot of coffee before Zile had put the mixer back together, plugged it into a spare outlet, and tested it. It whirred merrily along.

"Thank you, Zile," Ms. Sweetdrops said. "You're a life saver."

"Would you like some coffee?" Ms. Heartstrings asked. "Least we could do to thank you."

"Thank you, I would love a cup," Zile said. She sat down, and a few minutes later, she and the two teachers each had a fresh, hot cup of coffee. As she sipped her coffee, she glanced at the matching rings the two teachers wore. She frowned thoughtfully. "Would you mind if I asked for some advice?"

"Certainly," Ms. Heartstrings said. "What's up?"

Zile stirred her coffee as she collected her thoughts. "There is...someone I have had a crush on for some time."

Ms. Heartstrings raised an eyebrow. "When isn't there?" she asked. "I mean, no offense, but even us teachers know how fast you go through boyfriends."

Zile shrugged. "I enjoy flirting and dating. I just get bored with boys very quickly. But this...is different. This is a more serious crush."

"Okay...so what's the problem?"

"It...is a bit complicated," Zile said. "I am not sure if she would be interested."

The two teachers looked at one another, blinking. "Okay, didn't see THAT coming," Ms. Heartstrings said.

"There is more," Zile said.

"This should be good," Ms. Sweetdrops muttered.

"This girl...I have had a crush on her for some time," Zile said. "I came home from Saddle Arabia to find she is...no longer here. She left while I was away."

"Well that sucks," Ms. Heartstrings said. "Long-distance relationships are hard enough, without having to confess AND come out by phone or text or whatever."

"That is not exactly the problem," Zile said. "You see, she is gone...and yet she is here. And my feelings have not changed, despite the situation."

The two teachers traded a confused look. "Huh?"

Zile took a sip of coffee, grimaced, and said, "I am speaking of one of the girls involved in the...exchange."

Ms. Heartstrings blinked. "You mean the pony portal thing?"

Zile nodded. "I had strong feelings for her before. And now, her counterpart...she is the same in many ways, yet different in so many others...and if anything, I feel I am falling harder for her now."

Ms. Heartstrings looked at Ms. Sweetdrops, who shrugged helplessly. "Well...okay...I guess all you can really do is maybe give her something for Valentine's, tell her how you feel, and hope for the best?" The music teacher ran a hand through her hair. "It's the best advice I can give you. Neither of us are really good at romance. We just sort of...happened. By accident, almost."

"Don't tell the students things like that!" Ms. Sweetdrops snapped, face red.

Zile chuckled. "I think you've helped me just by listening," she said. "I suppose what I needed most was to talk it out. So, thank you both. And for the coffee."

"Glad we could help."

As Zile left, Ms. Sweetdrops sighed. "This won't end well."

"I just hope Rarity's dad doesn't have a shotgun," Ms. Heartstrings said. "That was NOT a fun day."


* * * * *


Button Mash's hooves tapped away mindlessly at the controls of his Joy Boy as he engaged in his favorite "deep thought" activity: Squaretris. It didn't require much attention to the game to reach level five or six hundred; the soothing rhythm of blocks falling into place and lines flashing and vanishing left him free to think about other things.

Silver Spoon had planted a seed in his mind, and it was quickly growing into a marshmallow forest.



































"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUH!" Button cried. He failed to notice the cheerful little bliptune playing from the Game Over screen of Squaretris.

"Really? Only level 486? I thought I raised you to be l33t."

Button turned to see his mother standing behind him. He immediately leapt at her and latched himself to her, wailing. "MOOOM! Help me! I don't know anything about girls! Everything I know about girls is from dating sims and I always lose and why do they always have 'put it in' on the menu when it's ALWAYS an instant game over and I just know Sweetie Belle would never go out with a loser like me because I can't even get fake Sweetie Belle to go out with me in my fantasy!"

Button's mother blinked repeatedly. "Um. Okay. I...get the impression there's a filly you want to ask out for Hearts And Hooves Day?"

Button nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

His mom smiled and patted him on the head. "Oh, silly. You just need to give her a nice card, maybe a little candy, and ask her to have dinner with you someplace nice!"

"You think...you think it'll really work?"

"The worst that can happen is she'll say no," Button's mom said, smiling. "And yes, that won't feel very good, but it won't be the end of the world. Now, go wash up for dinner, and you can tell me all about this filly you like." She frowned. "Also, I'm taking away those dating sims. You're way too young for those."


* * * * *


Valentine's Day dawned clear and cold. The halls of the school were decorated with festive pink and red streamers and dozens of heart-shaped balloons. Messengers from the faculty office were run ragged delivering large bouquets of flowers and mylar balloons to various Valentine recipients. At the beginning of each class, cards and gifts were hurriedly exchanged. Some were received warmly, others were received with a bare minimum of politeness. Still others were rebuffed in a humiliating way.

Only a few classes proceeded as though the holiday didn't exist. Many teachers bowed to the inevitable and conducted Valentine's-themed lessons or just put on a movie, with quite a few passing out cheap chocolates and chalky candy hearts. Hoity Toity decided to have his class perform select scenes from Romeo and Juliet; he chose Scootaloo to play Romeo and Pinkie Pie to play Juliet. To say things ended badly would be an understatement; the class dissolved into general horseplay after Pinkie Pie took one look at the script, threw up, and spent the rest of the period chasing Hoity Toity around the stage with a giant mallet. Dr. Yearling prepared a lesson on historic battles and famous murders that involved love. Family Planning consisted of a lecture on safe sex that got entirely out of control and ended with the teacher hiding under her desk in tears after accidentally revealing some details about her own love life that nobody really wanted to hear.

Even lunch had a decidedly more romantic bent to it, as various couples were seated together and the cafeteria had a romantic decor. More Valentine cards and gifts were being exchanged. Twilight and Fluttershy elected to sit with their respective boyfriends rather than with their group. Zile was unusually pensive; when Rarity asked her what was wrong, she became somewhat flustered. She also seemed somewhat pained when an unfamiliar boy approached the table and gave Zile flowers and a card. A quick exchange of whispered words, and he slunk away wearing a frown.

Halfway through lunch, Flash and Bobbi excused themselves, and around the cafeteria, the other members of their band rose from their seats as well. The drummer and keyboardist rushed outside, and a few minutes later returned with two steamer trunks, from which they quickly unloaded and set up equipment. The students buzzed with curiosity.

Flash tuned his guitar, plugged into an amp, and nodded to his drummer, who counted off the beat. He then laid into the intro of a song Twilight had never heard him play before.

Every time I see your smile it makes me feel so weak
And I can't help feelin' nervous
'Cause to me you're like a Venus!
Miracle girl, since the day you fell into my world
I was dying in the desert, now I'm drownin' in your love, yeah!
Just wanna let you know I'll never let you go, girl
Every day in every way, you're makin' me so crazy for you!

Don't you know you rock my world with everything you do
When we're standin' eye to eye
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!

When I see your eyes it's like I'm starin' at the sun
And I'm burnin' in your fire, yeah I'm burnin' with desire!
And when you leave it's like the day turns into night
Make the shadows go away, girl, fill the dark up with your love, yeah!
When you're around, that's when I really feel alive!
Your style, your smile, every day I'm mad about you!

Don't you know you rock my world with every word you say
Can't you feel me heart to heart?
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!

Every day before I met you doesn't mean a thing to me!
We'll be together no matter what life brings, it's our destiny!
Never let you go, never go away, gonna stay here right here by your side!
There's only happy times ahead so long as we can be together!

Don't you know you rock my world with everything you do
When we're standin' eye to eye
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?

Don't you know you rock my world with every word you say
Can't you feel me heart to heart
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!

The cafeteria erupted into applause as the last note faded. Twilight was practically glowing red.

"That was for you, Twilight," Flash said as he unslung his guitar and his band started taking down their equipment. "It was from Bobbi to Fluttershy too, since he helped me write it, but it was mostly for Twilight." A huge 'awww' and several chuckles rose from the student body as Flash headed back for his seat.

Twilight smiled at him. "Oh, Flash," she said. "That was...really really bad. But I loved it anyway. Thank you."


* * * * *


The school day had been a tortured mess of awkward colts approaching fillies with sweets and flowers and cards and students piling tokens of affection on Cheerilee's desk. Button held out until after school, not wanting to humiliate himself in front of everypony.

Once school ended, Button Mash trotted up behind Sweetie Belle and her friends. Silver Spoon noticed him and gave him a sly, encouraging smile. "Say, Apple Bloom," she said, "I could use some help hauling all my Hearts And Hooves Day gifts home."

"Huh? But...you only got some candy and like, three cards," Apple Bloom said.

"And the candy's given me a sugar crash!" Sil said, throwing a hoof over her eyes and tottering in place. "I can't POSSIBLY make it home with these heavy saddlebags now!" She moaned for dramatic effect. "So I need you and Scootaloo to help me."

"Huh? Why me?" Scootaloo asked.

"Because I'll share my candy with you, that's why," Sil said. "Now hurry up, you two!" She tilted her head emphatically behind them. Apple Bloom turned, blinked, and suddenly understood.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah. Sure. Ah'll help you get home, Sil. Scootaloo, let's walk Sil home. Umm...Sweetie Belle, you just...we'll see you later." The three fillies trotted off, Scootaloo more slowly and looking doubtful.

Sweetie blinked. "What was THAT all about?"

Button cleared his throat. "Umm...Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie turned around. "Oh," she said simply, her pupils contracting to pinpricks.

Button rooted around in his bag and pulled out a card and a small, wrapped package. "Umm...this is for you," he said.

"For me?" Sweetie asked. Her horn sparked green, and a pale aura limned the proferred items. She levitated the card to eye level and opened it. It was hoof-made, and depicted a little figure made of blocky squares that Sweetie assumed was supposed to be her, standing at the top of a crooked stack of girders next to a big, angry-looking brown block blob. A tiny blocky-square Button Mash was at the bottom, and a big sloppy cutout heart had been glued to the opposite face of the card. Sweetie tilted her head at it quizzically.

Button rubbed the back of his neck. "Aheh...yeah...it's all I could think of."

"It's...nice?" Sweetie said. She then unwrapped the other package to reveal a chocolate bar in the shape of a game controller. Her ears twitched. "Thank you, Button."

"Wait, there's more!" Button said. "Umm...I wanted to ask you if you maybe want to have dinner with me tonight..." He poked at the ground with a hoof. "It's okay if you don't wanna though, I mean..."

Sweetie blinked. "You're...asking me out? Like on a date?"

"Uuuuhhhhhh...uh-huh..."

Sliding the card and candy into her own saddlebags, Sweetie smiled. "Sure, I don't mind." She paused. "Just...no milkshake races, okay?"

Button laughed nervously. "Deal. Wait...you said yes? Really?" At Sweetie's nod, he began to vibrate, the propeller on his beanie spinning faster and faster. "Gottagogetreadyseeyouatsixthanksfornotlaughingatmeandrunningawaybye!"

As he tore off at full gallop, Sweetie giggled. "Well, he is pretty cute. Dorky, but cute."


* * * * *


The Valentine's Dance was a formal affair with soft, romantic music and subdued lighting. Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash chose not to attend, while Pinkie Pie spent most of the dance hanging out with Vinyl Scratch and making sure everybody had enough punch and heart-shaped sugar cookies. Twilight spent the entire evening in the company of Flash, while Fluttershy danced with a few boys other than her boyfriend, though she always went back to him after. Rarity didn't do much dancing, choosing instead to simply watch everyone have a good time; she herself only attended because it was an opportunity to wear a dazzling dress.

She was watching Twilight and Flash perform a clumsy, awkward slow dance when Zile approached. "Would you care to dance, Rarity?" she asked.

Rarity blinked. "You're...asking me to dance? But...we're both girls..."

"There is no rule against two girls dancing. Besides, I have danced with every boy I care to dance with."

Rarity chewed her lip for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose there's no harm in it." She rose and walked out onto the floor with Zile, who expertly lead her through two songs. Once the music changed to something faster, they sat back down.

"You're quite an accomplished dancer, Zile," Rarity observed.

"I have had much practice," Zile said. She smiled. "Thank you for dancing with me."

The remainder of the evening passed without incident, as couples tired of dancing and retreated to the tables to relax and chat with friends. Twilight, Flash, Fluttershy, Bobbi, and Pinkie joined Rarity and Zile. If any of Rarity's friends had seen her dancing with Zile, they didn't say anything about it, and the group chatted lightly and enjoyed themselves until the last song was announced. Rarity agreed to dance the last song with Zile.

After the dance, the two girls walked home together. Rarity was about to say goodnight to Zile and head for her own door when Zile stopped her.

"Rarity," she said, reaching into her purse, "This is for you." She handed Rarity a small, red foil envelope. Blinking, Rarity opened it; inside was a card that said simply, in elegant script:


Please be mine.


"Zile, what—"

Rarity was cut off as Zile seized her suddenly and kissed her desperately. Rarity's eyes widened; she was too stunned to do anything except stand there and be kissed by a girl she barely knew.

After far too long for Rarity's comfort, Zile released her and stepped back. She ducked her head, turned, and fled into her own home. Shellshocked, Rarity did likewise, locking the door of the boutique behind her and heading listlessly up to her own room, where she promptly fainted on her bed.
> Phase X: Memoirs I (Becoming Human)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


THE MEMOIRS OF APPLEJACK: Ah Just Don't Get Underwear


January 6


The morning after arrival


The rooster woke Applejack up. She stretched, hopped out of bed...and landed flat on her face.

"Oh, right..." she muttered. "Two legs."

There was a knock at the door, followed by Apple Bloom's voice. "Applejack! Time ta git up!" she called. She opened the door slightly, blinking at the taller girl lying on the floor. "You didn't sleep down there, did you?"

Applejack pushed herself up and stood, wobbling slightly. "Nah, just got outta bed wrong," she said.

"You slept in your clothes though," Apple Bloom said, wrinkling her nose slightly. "You should take a shower while there's still hot water."

"Uhhh, right...okay. Tell Big Mac Ah'll be down in two shakes."

Apple Bloom wandered off down the hall, and Applejack walked to the bathroom. There was a large wicker hamper beneath the linen closet; curious, she opened it. It was full of dirty clothes, some of which were fairly ripe. Shrugging, she stripped off her own clothes and stuffed them all into the hamper, including her boots and hat. She turned to the tub and started to run the water when she caught her reflection in the mirror out of the corner of her eye, and realized she was still wearing something. "Whut th'...?" She turned to fully examine herself, both in her reflection and with her hands. A somewhat rigid garment covered her upper chest, and a snug-fitting cotton garment had been underneath her skirt. She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Now why th' hay did Ah have on more clothes under them other clothes?" She studied the thing wrapped around her chest, trying to figure out how to remove it. It didn't look like it could be slipped off over her head. She reached behind her back and felt along the strap there; after a minute of probing, she found what seemed to be a clasp. It took her a few minutes, but she finally managed to unhook it. Peeling it off, she threw it into the hamper. The other item of clothing was far easier to remove, and joined its mate in due course. She looked at her nude body in the mirror and tilted her head. "Huh. That's a right funny place for teats." Shrugging, she lowered herself into the tub and scrubbed herself down.

Several minutes later, she emerged, wet and clean, and found a towel to dry herself off with. Soon enough, she was dry. Smiling, she headed to her room, got another hat out of her closet, and headed downstairs.

Big Macintosh was at the table, glancing through the paper as he sipped his coffee. "Mornin'," he grunted. He looked up briefly. His eyes bugged out and he spat a mouthful of coffee onto the table. "GAH! Whut th' hay?!"

"Whut's wrong?" Applejack asked, tilting her head.

"Whut's WRONG?" Big Macintosh asked, panicking as he covered his eyes. "Git some clothes on!"

"Huh?" Applejack looked down at herself. "Ah didn't think we was plannin' on goin' noplace fancy."

Apple Bloom's piercing shriek made Applejack turn around. "WHUT TH' HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Apple Bloom shouted. Before Applejack could scold her for yelling or using indecent language, Apple Bloom had seized her wrist and dragged her upstairs. After a confused and painful minute of being dragged, Applejack was thrown onto her own bed, and a panting, red-faced Apple Bloom slammed the door behind her.

Apple Bloom trembled as she pointed at Applejack with a shaking finger. "WHY. ARE. YOU. NEKKID?!"

Applejack frowned. "Uhhh..."

Apple Bloom didn't wait for an answer. She rushed around the room, pulling out garments similar to the ones Applejack had just discarded from the dresser and closet, and threw them onto the bed. "Git dressed!" she commanded.

"Why's this such a big deal?" Applejack asked, frowning. "Ah mean, Ah understand dressin' up for a party...sorta...but—"

Apple Bloom stared at her. "Are you some kinda crazy nudist or somethin'?"

"Hey now," Applejack said. "Ah don't rightly care fer yer tone. An' Ah'm sure mah friends are all ready t' get some breakfast, an' Ah don't wanna keep 'em waitin'—"

"Granny'll skin you alive if you go back down there nekkid again!"

Applejack frowned. "Now just when did th' Apple family turn inta a buncha high-falutin' hoity-toity Manehattan snobs?" She shook her head. "Ah don't rightly see th' point of wearin' clothes just t' go out fer some vittles..."

"Don't see the point..." Apple Bloom repeated shakily.

"Well we sure as hay didn't back home!"

Apple Bloom's eyes widened in realization. "Wait. Ah forgot. You're a horse where you come from, ain't you?"

"Pony," Applejack corrected.

Apple Bloom facepalmed. "An' ponies don't wear clothes, do they?"

"Some do, some don't. Ah mean, wearin' dresses for a fancy party an' stuff, or havin' a few little things you like wearin' now an' then, but...in Ponyville, even th' most high-falutin' ponies—"

"Yeah yeah, okay," Apple Bloom interrupted, waving a hand at Applejack. "Well, here in this world, we wear clothes all the time. ALL. The time."

"All the time?" Applejack repeated, blinking.

"All the time. Except when you're takin' a bath or...or doin' stuff Big Macintosh'd whup mah bottom for even knowin' about." She sighed. "Look, just...git dressed."

Applejack sighed. "Well shucks, Ah feel stupid," she said. "Ah didn't know. Ah'm sorry...guess Ah'd better apologize t' Big Mac too." She picked up the skirt and blouse Apple Bloom had picked out for her, and started to put them on—

"Wait, wait," Apple Bloom said. "You gotta put on underwear first."

Applejack frowned, picking at the two smallest items on the bed. "Ah'll pass on that."

"No, you won't," Apple Bloom said. "We all wear underwear...well, we're all supposed to, Diamond Tiara goes without sometimes but she's a slut..." She shook her head. "It's just somethin' you gotta wear, okay? Trust me."

Applejack looked at the odd items dubiously. "That don't make much sense, but...Ah guess." The cotton garment that looked like small, tight shorts went on easily enough, but as she tried to put the odd assortment of stiff fabric and straps on, she ran into difficulty. "Uhh...you sure Ah gotta wear this?" she asked.

"Absolutely," Apple Bloom insisted. "Uhh...but Ah guess you ain't never even seen a bra before, huh?"

Applejack shook her head. "Nope."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Alright, Ah'll help you put it on..."

Once Applejack was fully dressed, the two girls went downstairs. "Ah just don't get all this underwear junk," Applejack said.


THE MEMOIRS OF RARITY: Fashion Clash


January 7


Two days after arrival


The sun had set, and a long, cold evening lay ahead. Rarity, wrapped in a fluffy white robe over soft silk pajamas, sat at "her" design table, looking at sketches for a number of designs. She shook her head and sighed. "What," she said.

"What's the matter?" Sweetie Belle asked from behind her. The younger girl wore flannel pajamas, and carried two mugs of cocoa, one of which she handed to Rarity.

Rarity accepted it gratefully, handling it with extreme caution, and sipped it delicately. "I just...don't understand what your world's Rarity is thinking," she said. "These designs...they're just..." She shuddered. "I don't understand them at all."

"Oh," Sweetie Belle said. "Well...Rarity's clothes are usually pretty popular, I guess. I don't really know much about the whole fashion thing. I do know that we all got sick of her trying to force those crazy boots of hers on everyone, until after the Spring Fling when her boots got popular."

Rarity looked at a rack covered with dozens of styles of gaudy boots and shuddered. "Gah."

"I wonder if she's having the same problem where she is now," Sweetie Belle said. "I mean, if you don't like her designs, maybe she feels the same—"

"BITE your TONGUE!" Rarity said, putting on an offended air. "My designs are the height of haute couture! The pinnacle of style!"

"For prissy prancing ponies," Sweetie Belle pointed out.

"Prissy? Prancing?" Rarity gasped, recoiling. "Why...you...why...just..."

"What I mean is, what ponies like to wear and what people like to wear might not be the same thing," Sweetie said. "Did you ever think of that?"

Rarity's jaw dropped. "I...suppose I didn't," she admitted softly.

"Then maybe you need to learn about people clothes," Sweetie said. "We can go shopping after school tomorrow, so you can get an idea of what people are wearing and buying..." She paused. "In the meantime..." She ran upstairs, then came back with her laptop.

"What are you—?"

"I may not know as much about fashion as Rarity, but I know the basics," Sweetie said. "I know what always looks good...what never goes out of style."

Rarity blinked. "Back to basics?" Her shoulders slumped. "Oh dear. I feel like a filly who can't even light up her horn..."

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "Gotta learn to walk before you can fly."

"Fly? I'm a unicorn, not a pegasus..."

Sweetie facepalmed. "Do you wanna learn this stuff or not?"

"Oh. Oh yes, of course. Ahem. Do go on."

Sweetie opened up her web browser and began showing Rarity a succession of clothes. "Jeans. Tight but not too skinny. Bellbottoms are NEVER cool, even when they're in style. There's no top a good pair of jeans doesn't go with."

"They look rather...confining. But...comfortable, I suppose?"

"Classic little black dress. Any girl feels sexy in one of these. Unless she's a whale."

"Oh my...that is rather tasteful."

"Qipao. The redder, the better. Silk, of course."

"How exotic! It's rather clingy, though..."

"That's the idea. It's only to be worn by women with serious curves. Now let's talk shoes..."


THE MEMOIRS OF FLUTTERSHY: Popularity


January 8


Three days after arrival


Fluttershy was at her locker, trying to remember which books she needed for her next two classes, when an unfamiliar boy walked up. "Hey babe, what's up?" he asked, grinning easily at her.

She blinked. "Oh, um...nothing?" she replied softly.

"Name's Blazing Glory," he said. "You know, you're one of the prettiest girls in this whole town."

"I am?" Fluttershy asked. "Um...thank you?"

"I was thinking...wanna get together later, maybe after school?"

"Oh...well...I..." Fluttershy stammered, hiding behind her biology book. "I don't know—"

"It's cool," Blazing Glory said easily, grinning and showing lots of teeth. "Let me know if you wanna hang." He pointed at her with an index finger and made a clicking noise with his tongue, then walked off down the hall.

"Watch out for that guy," Sunset Shimmer said, walking up behind Fluttershy. "He's kind of a creep. You can do a lot better."

Fluttershy blushed. "I'm not trying to do in the first place!"

Sunset laughed. "Live a little," she said, before wandering off to class.

"Live a little..." Fluttershy echoed.

"Um...Fluttershy?" a voice caught her attention. She turned to see a boy who seemed rather familiar.

"Thunderlane?" she asked.

The boy blinked. "You know me?"

"Well...yes...sort of..." Fluttershy said.

"Oh, cool...well..." Thunderlane cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you might like to go out sometime?"

Fluttershy started to retreat behind her hair, stammer out an evasive reply, and make a hasty retreat...

Live a little.

She leaned against the wall, casually brushing her hair out of her face. "Yes, alright," she said.

"Great!" Thunderlane said. "Um...I'll get back to you, okay? Gotta figure out when and where and everything."

"Okay," Fluttershy replied, smiling.

That afternoon, during the break before the last two classes, several boys lined up near Fluttershy's locker. She saw the line as she was heading there to exchange books, and drew back in fear. "Oh goodness..."

Live a little.

Forcing herself to straighten up, Fluttershy walked boldly to her locker. "Hello, boys," she said.

"Hey, Fluttershy!" a boy she didn't know replied.

"How's it going?"

"Want us to carry your books for you?"

"Oh...I don't think that'll be necessary," Fluttershy said. "But you're awfully sweet for offering."

"Hey, Fluttershy, are you doing anything Friday night?"

"How about tonight?"

"Do you have a date for the party Saturday?"

"Now, boys," Fluttershy said with a smile that was only slightly nervous, "there's only so much of me to go around..." She blushed. "Oh my. That came out wrong."

The boys chuckled.

"Now, I'll be more than happy to go out with...some of you," she said. "But I just can't think with all this pressure. So...maybe, if you meet me at...lunch? Or maybe at Sugar Cube Corner after school? If you come up to me one at a time, we can talk about dating."

Most of the boys dispersed, but one hung back. He had black hair with two white skunk stripes, very pale lavender skin, and a charmingly dorky smear of a mustache. "I'm Bobbi Gibson," he said. "I play bass."

"Oh. Um...yay?"

"I'm in the same band as Flash Sentry."

"Oh!" Fluttershy brightened. "You're one of Flash Sentry's friends? That's good. Flash is nice. He seems to like Twilight Sparkle a lot, too."

"Heh, yeah...you shoulda seen how bummed he was when she went back to...wherever." He shuffled his feet. "So, uh...you like music?"

Fluttershy smiled. "Why yes, I love music..."


THE MEMOIRS OF RAINBOW DASH: Periods Are Not Awesome


January 9


Four days after arrival


After the second class of the morning, the seven Equestrians met up in the hallway. Twilight noticed Rainbow Dash wincing and stopping briefly. "You okay, Rainbow?" she asked.

Rainbow grimaced. "Yeah...I'm okay," she grunted out.

"You don't look okay, sugarcube," Applejack said.

"I'm FINE!" Rainbow snapped.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Cramps?" she asked.

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "Guess I ate something bad for breakfast or something. I'm cool."

Sunset shook her head. "I think you'd better come with me to the restroom," she said.

"I said I'm fine!" Rainbow repeated.

"Best to be on the safe side," Twilight said. "Please, trust Sunset."

Rainbow sighed. "Alright," she said. She followed Sunset to the restroom; her friends followed behind them.

Once safely in the empty girls' restroom, Sunset asked, "So, when did this start?"

"Just a little bit ago," Rainbow said.

Sunset nodded. "Do you have a maxi pad or a tampon with you?"

"A what?" Rainbow asked.

Sunset facepalmed with a groan. "Did you EVEN pay attention the other day when I explained periods?"

"Yyyyeah, not so much," Rainbow said. "Except for the part about boys wanting to have sex all the time and having to be careful about that. Everything else, I just kinda tuned out."

Twilight frowned. "Rainbow, the things Sunset told us were very important!"

Sunset shook her head. "Nice to know you're exactly as dumb as this world's Rainbow Dash," she said.

"HEY!"

"Alright, so here's the thing," Sunset said. "You're either already having your period, or you're about to. Either way, you need a pad or a tampon, and I mean right now." She raised an eyebrow. "Unless you want to walk around with blood in your panties."

"BLOOD?!" Rainbow shrieked.

"And other gross stuff," Sunset added.

"Here, Rainbow," Fluttershy said, fishing around in her purse. "I can spare a tampon." She pulled out a wrapped cylindrical object, which she handed to Rainbow.

Rainbow blinked. "Uhhh...what am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.

Sunset groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You've gotta be kidding..."

"Sunset," Twilight said gently, "you KNOW we didn't have anything like this in Equestria. I know Rainbow really should've been paying attention when you explained all this before, and...honestly, even after that rather thorough explanation, the entire process IS still a bit confusing..."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. The rest of you get to class before the bell rings. I'll show Rainbow how to use a tampon."


* * * * *


When the girls met up later at lunch, Rainbow had the most disturbed expression on her face. She couldn't stop blushing, and she absolutely refused to look at Sunset Shimmer. "Are you feeling better now, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow shook her head. "This whole period thing is the most NOT awesome thing in the history of not-awesome things." She glanced at Sunset, shuddered, and muttered, "and I think I need an adult..."


THE MEMOIRS OF PINKIE PIE: The Internet Is For PoFun!


January 11


Six days after arrival


Pinkie kicked her bare feet idly in the air as she scrolled through her Chirper feed. She was still figuring out the whole "computer" and "Internet" thing, but her counterpart had left her detailed instructions on how to use the basics.

The other Pinkie was following every single kid at Canterlot High, even the ones she didn't like very much. Which, to Pinkie, made sense—she, after all, knew everything about everypony in Ponyville, even the ones she didn't really like, like Diamond Tiara.

Speaking of whom...




Diamond Tiara @ddtiara 1h
Chirping from my NEW phone! It's much better than my OLD phone.

Silver Spoon @silverspoon 59m
@ddtiara IKR! You had that OLD phone for like, two whole days! How sad is that?

Diamond Tiara @ddtiara 58m
@silverspoon Like, totally! Daddy also got me that PlaySomething 4 that just came out! Maybe I'll chirp from that later.

Silver Spoon @silverspoon 57m
@ddtiara LOL! You don't even play PlaySomething!

Diamond Tiara @ddtiara 56m
@silverspoon IKR! I feel SO SAD for all those LOSERS who can't have one!




Pinkie frowned.




Pinkie Pie @smilesmilesmile
@ddtiara u shouldn't be mean to ppl just bcuz they don't have $

Diamond Tiara @ddtiara
@smilesmilesmile O M G ! LOSER!

Silver Spoon @silverspoon
@smilesmilesmile Like, go away! Lamer!




Pinkie sighed and clicked "Unfollow". Her feed refreshed, and she scrolled back to the top.




Snails @snails_eh 30s
Hey @sunsetshimmer look!




There was a link to a photo. Pinkie clicked out of curiosity. A picture appeared...

"EW EW EW EW!!"

It was a man's dong, with a naked Blythe doll straddling it. Pinkie quickly collapsed the photo, nauseated.




Sunset Shimmer @sunsetshimmer
@snails_eh Stop taking pics of your mom dork




"I think that's enough Chirper for now," Pinkie said shakily. "I'm gonna look at pictures of cats now. Cute, cuddly ninja cats."

Pinkie heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" she called, craning her head around to face the door. Twilight, Rainbow, and Fluttershy walked in. She beamed brightly at them. "Hi girls!"

"Hey, Pinkie," Rainbow greeted. "Whatcha up to?"

"Oh, I'm just looking at the Internet," Pinkie said.

"Oh, I love the Internet!" Twilight said. "I've spent hours looking up information about this world on Quikipedia. It's like having lots and lots of encyclopedias at your fingertips, all cross-referenced and indexed! Fun!"

Rainbow made a loud retching noise. "Egghead."

"I hear a lot of kids at school talking about music videos they find on...what was it?" Fluttershy asked. "Something tube?"

"Huetube?" Rainbow asked.

"I guess that's it," Fluttershy said.

Pinkie turned to her computer and typed "Huetube" into her search bar. "Huh...it says 'Did you mean 'Bluetube'?" She clicked the link, and without even paying attention, clicked the very first video listed on the front page.

Once the video loaded, the girls were treated to a picture of a naked, brown-skinned girl sitting in what appeared to be a room made of ice, with the title "ASS AGE: DAWN OF THE DILDO SORES" beneath her.

"I thought people didn't go around naked in this world?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head.

"They don't," Twilight said.

"She looks really cold," Fluttershy said.

"I don't see any donkeys," Pinkie said.

And then...stuff began happening.

"Oh my," Fluttershy whispered.

Rainbow stared at the video, tilting her head. "That's...that's not supposed to go there, is it?"

"I don't think so," Twilight said, face burning.

Pinkie quickly closed the browser.

"Oh, NOW I remember!" Rainbow said. "It's not HueTube, it's EweTube." She laughed sheepishly. "My bad."

"Yeah? Well they should call that BlueTube thing EWWWWTube, because that was GROSS!" Pinkie said.

Pinkie's new mail notification beeped, and she opened her mail client. Twenty new messages had spontaneously appeared in her inbox...each and every one of them porn spam. Very explicit porn spam.

"I just wanted ninja cats," Pinkie moaned, burying her head in her hands. "Cute, cuddly ninja cats. Is that too much to ask?"


THE MEMOIRS OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Family


January 16


Eleven days after arrival


Twilight had just finished her homework and was settling in for a little Internet reading when Twilight Velvet dropped by. "Mom!" she exclaimed happily, hugging the older, taller woman fiercely. She backed away and blushed. "Erm. I mean—"

Velvet laughed. "It's okay. You may not be my little girl, but as far as I'm concerned, you're still...well..." She shook her head. "How are you doing? Are you settling in alright? I'm sorry I haven't been by sooner, I've just been so busy..."

"'Researching' a book?" Twilight asked with a smirk. "If you're anything like my mom, I know exactly what THAT means."

Velvet chuckled sheepishly. "I uh...yeah," she said, ducking her head. "Still, it's not like it's that much trouble to catch a plane. The good thing about being a writer is you can work anywhere!"

They moved away from the door and sat on the bed. "So, how's Dad? And Shining Armor? I wanted to call him but the other me didn't leave his number in her...phone..."

Velvet's face had fallen. Twilight looked at her. "What is it?"

"Shining Armor..." Velvet's voice hitched. "He was killed in a traffic accident three years ago."

"No..." Twilight whispered. Tears gathered in her eyes. "I..."

Velvet sniffled. "You couldn't have known." She paused. "Wait...so does that mean your Shining Armor is..." Her voice took on a hopeful note. "Still alive?"

Twilight nodded. "He's alive and happy," she confirmed. "Up until recently, he was the Captain of the Royal Guard in Canterlot. That's the capital of Equestria, by the way." She smiled. "Then, he got married to the most amazing pony, and a little while after that, Princess Celestia sent them to the Crystal Empire to rule and protect it." She beamed. "My big brother's a prince with his own kingdom!"

Velvet stared at her, eyes wide. "Shining Armor...married? And a prince?"

Twilight giggled. "I know, right?"

"Do you see him often?" Velvet asked.

"Not as often as I'd like," Twilight admitted. "Less so now that he lives in the Crystal Empire." She frowned. "And...I guess I won't see him again for thirty moons," she sighed. "It never occurred to me that...that he might not..."

Velvet hugged her. "Tell me more about him," she said. "And his wife. And your world, and what you do there..."

Twilight smiled, and talked long into the night, of Equestria, of Shining Armor and Cadance, of the Crystal Empire, and of Ponyville...


THE MEMOIRS OF SUNSET SHIMMER



Two and a half years ago...


Sunset Shimmer observed a girl wearing jeans, a red and orange striped T-shirt, and her face as she joked with two younger boys. A taller, blue-haired boy walked up to her and easily put his arm around her, grinning lazily. The girl who looked like her smiled up at him and tickled him.

Sunset lurked in the shadows, following the girl with her face around the strange city. It was well after nightfall when the girl was finally alone. As she unlocked the front door of a modest-sized house, Sunset rushed her, tackling her through the door and pinning her. The girl screamed and flailed beneath her.

"Be quiet," Sunset hissed. She sat up and rolled the girl over onto her back.

The girl looked up at her, shocked and confused. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she fainted.

Smirking, Sunset locked the door, searched the house for other occupants, then dragged the girl into the bedroom.


* * * * *


Sunset awoke to see herself standing by the dresser, a cruel smirk on her face and a fruit knife in her hand. She screamed—or tried to. Something had been stuffed into her mouth. Her hands were tied behind her back.

"These weird...fleshy things," the other Sunset said, studying her left hand. "They take some getting used to, but...it wasn't too hard to figure out how to tie you up and gag you." She smiled. "Now...I'm going to take out your gag. Every time you scream, I'm going to peel some skin off you with this knife. Every time you don't tell me what I want to hear, I'm going to peel some skin off you with this knife. Understand?"

Sunset nodded her head, eyes wide.

"Good." The other Sunset removed her gag, then studied her face like one might examine an interesting insect. "Now...you are going to tell me everything about this world. Then, I'm going to become you. Try anything funny—ANYTHING that might make them suspicious of me, that might make me seem like I don't belong here—and I promise you'll regret it." She dug the tip of the knife into the soft flesh of Sunset's neck. "Understand?"

Sunset nodded. "Who...who are you?" she whispered.

"I'm Sunset Shimmer," the other Sunset said. "And from now on, I'm you."


After the Fall Formal...


Bruised, battered, and weary, makeup streaked from tears, Sunset slumped down the basement stairs, flicking the light switch. She slid the rickety storage rack aside, unlocked the secret door, and walked into the small room where she'd kept the version of herself indigenous to the human world for the past thirty moons.

Sunset Shimmer looked up at Sunset Shimmer. "So, did you win another crown?"

Sunset sighed and slumped into her usual chair, burying her face in her hands. She began sobbing. "I'm a monster."

Sunset said nothing.

Sunset looked up at Sunset, tears in her eyes. "I'm letting you go," she said hoarsely.

Sunset blinked. "You're what?"

"You don't deserve this. Nobody deserves this." Sunset shuddered. "I've done such horrible things..."

"What happened?" Sunset asked.

Sunset sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I...I lost everything. And...I deserved it." She looked up at Sunset, took a deep breath, and told her the story of her downfall. "You can go to the police, or...whoever you want to go to. Turn me in, tell them what I've done to you...I don't care anymore."

Sunset sighed. "No...it sounds to me like if I take my life back from you, it's gonna suck hard. Maybe even worse than this." She shook her head. "I'll go away. I'll catch a bus north, move to Vanhoover, start over there. You stole my life and you totally screwed it up...you can have it."

Sunset nodded. "Yeah...okay, that sounds fair."