> Lost and Found
>  by Jay-Ruth
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: A Day in the Life 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

CRASH

Derpy Hooves gasped as the vase seemed to fall in slow motion, shattering against the floor into a dozen jagged pieces. 
"I am so, so sorry Mrs. Glass!"
Derpy had clumsily bumped into a table, knocking the expensive vessel to the ground, leaving its former owner, Crystal Glass, staring blankly at a pile of broken crystalline fragments.  "Eh, Never— Never mind, Derpy.  My late mother's wedding gift can be replaced..."

Crystal’s voice was taut, and her words caught in her throat. She stood ridged, her body tense as a stretched wire. Derpy could see the fury in her eyes, and she shuffled her feet nervously, lowering her gaze to the floor so as not to make eye contact with the fuming mare.  After a long moment of agonizing silence, she spoke again. “I really am sor—" 
Crystal cut her off. 
"I… I think you should go." 
"But—" 
"Please! Go!" 

Derpy scuttled out the door, tripping over her hooves in her frenzied effort to move out of the way as Crystal slammed the door behind her. For a moment, Derpy merely stood in mortified silence, listening to the muffled tirade coming from behind the door, then hesitantly turned and pressed her ear to the wood, trying to make out what the mare was saying. 
"That filly! Someone needs to put her in a mental institute, where she can't break or hurt anything else! I just can’t stand her! I mean, really— my mother’s expensive— AUGH!"

Dismayed, Derpy turned and trudged away forlornly. Once again, she had turned a perfectly fine day into a perfectly awful one. This was a fairly normal occurrence for Derpy, “disturbing the peace” as the Ponyville constable so eloquently put it. Normally, Derpy was berated, scorned, or otherwise shunned only once or twice a week, but lately, the incidents had been steadily growing in number.  Just this week, she had offered to help re-shelve books at Twilight's library, but ended up knocking over two large shelves, and breaking poor Spike's tail in the process. Then she tried to assist the Cakes with preparing for a large bake sale, but before the day was over, the fire department had thoroughly soaked their newly refurbished kitchen.  She then   was inspired to pay Rarity a visit and see if she could help out around the boutique. That was a mistake to be sure. Derpy learned a few new curse words that eventful day.

Quietly, the blonde mare walked without purpose, head to the ground. While she wasn’t exactly having a good time in town, she didn’t want to go home just yet.  It was a nice day after all, she thought, lifting her head to study the sky. Wispy clouds drifted sluggishly across the sky, and a faint wind tousled her mane. She smiled in breathed in the scent of freshly trimmed grass. Fall had always been her favorite season, and she was going to enjoy it. Picking up her feet, Derpy quickened her pace to a trot, admiring the pretty scenery around her as she made her way toward the Ponyville Marketplace. 

A loud grunt caught Derpy’s attention, and her ears perked as she turned to find the source of the noise. The mare twisted to see Carrot Top struggling to hold a large pile of fresh vegetables in an undersized basket, stumbling this way and that as she attempted to keep the towering pile upright. The grey pegasus shook her forelock from her eyes and trotted forward, speaking tentatively.
“Hello, Miss Carrot Top! Do you maybe need help?”
"Oh! Yes, please! Hurry if you would!"

Derpy quickly jumped forward and placed her hooves on either side of the basket, using her wings to steady herself. The two ponies carefully lowered the mass of carrots to the cobblestone, and Carrot Top heaved a sigh of relief, rolling her shoulders.
“Gracious, thank you so much! I was having such a hard-“

Glancing up, Carrot Top caught a glimpse of her helper for the first time, and froze when she saw just who she was talking to. After a moment of awkward silence, she flashed a quick, nervous grin, and bent to retrieve her overflowing basket of vegetables. 
“Thank you so much for your help Derpy, but I, um, I should be going! I appreciate it. Bye now!”
“Wait! Don’t you want any help? That’s a big basket, and the Market’s still a ways away. I don’t mind—“

Carrot Top hefted her basket and shook her head vigorously, causing several carrots to drop from the massive heap. 
“Uh, actually, I’m fine! Thanks for asking! I’d better get going! I’ll, um, see you around!”

Several more carrots hit the stone walk she attempted to hurry away, doing her best to balance on her back hooves and trying to catch the carrots as they fell.  She wasn’t having much luck.
“Are you sure you don’t—” 
“Quite sure! Thanks for the help.” 

Derpy sighed and turned away. Of course Carrot Top didn’t want her help. The pegasus winced as she recalled her last encounter with the mare. The gardening incident was still fresh in her mind. She debated continuing on her way to the Marketplace, but considering Carrot Top was headed in the same direction, she decided it might not be the best idea. Perhaps it was time to head home after all.

Being a social outcast, Derpy had made her home on the outskirts of Ponyville, separated from the busy town by a thick stretch of woods. Because of this, it took the pegasus quite some time to make it back to her cottage. After a long flight made more tiring than usual by the day’s events weighing on her mind, Derpy sighed with relief at the sight of her home. Landing with a huff, Derpy shook out her wings and folded then against her sides, then nosed through her saddle bag for a house key. After a few minutes of searching without result, she began to panic, eventually resorting to upturning the bags contents onto the front step. The key was nowhere to be found. Derpy realized she must have lost it when she tripped and tumbled down the side of Blackberry Hill earlier that day. She was always loosing things. 

Derpy sighed and trotted around to the back of the old house, where she spread her wings and leapt into the air, clumsily rising to the roof top. Landing with a thud, Derpy picked her way across the treacherous shingles, slipping more than once as she navigated the roof. Finally reaching the blackened chimney, she hauled herself over the rim, and tucking her wings tightly against her sides, wriggled down the tight space. This wasn’t the first time she had been forced to such measures, so it wasn’t long before she fell into the ash filled fireplace. Hacking as the dusty air filled her lungs, Derpy stumbled forward, blinking hard to clear her vision. The mare felt something soft and fuzzy beneath her hoof, and a startled squeak filled the room as she placed her full weight on a fluffy red tail. Quickly, she lifted her foreleg, and a ruddy ferret darted away.
"Oh geeze, I'm sorry Brick!" 

A black nose peeked out from under the coffee table as the ferret slowly revealed himself, gazing at Derpy with an indignant look.  After considering the mare’s apology, ferret scurried up Derpy’s leg, wrapping itself around her neck and nuzzling her cheek as a sign of forgiveness. Derpy giggled and returned the ferrets love, brushing noses with him. 
"You good boy!" 

It seemed Brick was the only friend Derpy had. Out of sheer loneliness, she had adopted the rust colored ferret from Fluttershy a few months back, and had no doubt now it was the best decision she had ever made. She had named him Brick, not only for his red color, but because of her fondness for bricks. Bricks didn't tend to break.

Yawning, Brick curled up at the base of her neck, between her shoulder blades. Derpy smiled and nuzzled him fondly, inhaling his musky scent. It smelled like home. As she wandered down the hallway, the pegasus happened to catch a glimpse of herself self in the mirror on the wall, and couldn’t help but giggle at the sight before her. A coal black pony with grey patches around her eyes stared back from the mirror, white teeth flashing as she laughed. She sighed and gently lifted the sleeping Brick onto the couch, then hurried away to take a quick shower.

Sleek and shiny one more, Derpy dried her mane with a towel as she walked to her bedroom. Shuffling through the pile of papers on her bedside table, she finally managed to locate her contacts lenses, which she had forgotten to wear that morning. She couldn’t help but wince as she thought of the trouble with Crystal Glass that could have been avoided had she remembered them. As she began to make an attempt to tidy her bedroom, her stomach rumbled loudly, a welcome distraction. She laughed and shook her head. “I suppose I did miss breakfast this morning.

Humming softly, the mare wandered into the kitchen and opened the pantry, searching for something edible. Brick soon joined her, squeaking rapidly. 
“You too, huh?”

Scanning the contents of the pantry, she wrinkled her nose in distaste and turned to the refrigerator, hoping for more appealing results. When both pantry and refrigerator revealed nothing substantial, Derpy gave up on the idea of a healthy meal and selected an English muffin from the basket on the counter, if only to hold her over until she could get her hooves on real food. 

Munching happily on her prize, the blonde mare sat down at a small table, a sketchbook and a pencil in front of her. While no one knew it, Derpy had a passion for art, and she wasn't bad either.  As she began the draw, she glanced out the open window into the branches above. The sun shone brilliantly through the leaves and window frame, warming her face with dappled light. The birds chirped merrily in the tree tops, and an autumn breeze blew through the branches, causing them to sway back and forth, creating a soft rustling, chirping melody that the mare found very comforting. 

Thirty minutes later, Derpy stepped away from the table and studied the final result of her sketching. A handsome pony stared back at her, with large deep eyes, his wings unfurled as if he were preparing to take off. Derpy smiled and took the drawing between her hooves, holding it close to her face. As she studied the kind face she had created, a pang of loneliness resonated in her chest, and she gently set the drawing back on the table. Her gaze returned to the window, and as she admired the glimmering sun, she couldn’t help but think it would be the perfect day for a flight. 

Smiling, the mare trotted to the door and called to Brick. "I'm going for a walk! Do you want to come dear?" The ruddy ferret bounded to her, scrambling up the table leg and leaping from the table top her back. Derpy smiled and touched him with her nose, then trotted out the door, nearly tripping over the emptied saddle bag she had forgotten on the front step. Pausing to quickly recollect her belongings, she slung the saddle bag over her back and set off for Ponyville.

Derpy blissfully wandered through Ponyville Park, a beautiful plot of land decorated with small statues and brightly colored flowers. Young fillies and colts chased each other over the thick green grass, while their worried mothers called after them from the shade of the trees. Derpy lifted her face to the sun, warm light caressing her cheeks, and smiled as a cool breeze caught her mane, causing it to fan out behind her. The park helped Derpy feel better about the past week, the fresh air clearing her mind. She adored the feel of fall leaves crunching beneath her hooves.

"Hold on, Brick!" She chirped to the ferret clutching at her shoulders as she spread her wings, flapping gently and letting the strong breeze lift her off the ground. Flapping harder, she slowly rose until she was just above tree level, observing the scenery beneath her. A small group of fillies, whom she soon recognized as Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, were scrambling franticly around a practice field. The wind carried the shrill cry of "Cutie Mark Crusaders Foot Ball players!" to Derpy's ears, and she smiled to herself. Everything was calm up here, no one to offend, nothing to break.

Suddenly, the breeze changed direction, and Derpy was caught completely off guard. Her wings caught two different air currents, and Brick uttered a shrill screech as Derpy was spun in mid air. For a moment, the wind held her aloft, and she floated weightlessly as the two winds spun her round. Then the breeze changed course once again, and Derpy was overtaken by gravity. As the top most branches of the trees bellow rushed up to meet her, the grey pegasus frantically spread her wings, catching the air and slowing her fall. She was nearly clear of the trees when a branch snagged her wing, sending her hurtling towards the ground. 

Plummeting through the air, Derpy didn’t have much time to think, but she somehow managed to right herself and slow her speed just enough to save herself any serious damage. Trees now behind her, she now faced the obstacle course of scattered flower beds and stone statues. She flapped furiously in an attempt to save herself, but couldn’t seem to gain any altitude. Helplessly ,she smashed into the ground, rolling along the ground like a tumbling stone. Her dizzying flight was finally brought to a halt when she slammed into something large and hard. 

Groaning, the grey mare lay sprawled across dirt path, her head light and fuzzy. Chimes echoed in her ears as the world seemed to fade in and out of focus. Wincing, she heaved herself to her feet and shook her head, clearing the stars from her vision. She stretched her wings, yelping as the popped in painful protest, but she seemed to be mostly undamaged. Stumbling forward, she lifted her head and searched for the object she had smashed into. At first, she saw nothing in the vicinity, but her stomach tightened when she saw another pegasus laying motionless in the grass.

”No no no no no.” She thought frantically, scrambling over to the pony she had tumbled into. 
“Sir? Sir are you okay? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean—“
The stallions eyes opened, and he simply lay on the ground for a long moment, blinking. Then, with a grunt, he heaved himself upright, stumbling slightly as he stood. Derpy scrambled backward, watching with concern and he lifted each hoof experimentally, then folded and stretched his wings.  Finally, after checking all of his extremities, he brushed his blonde forelock back into shape and turned to face his attacker. Before he could even open his mouth, Derpy began to speak quickly and frantically.

“I am so sorry! I don’t know what happened. I just lost control and I didn’t see you there. I promise it was an accident! I can pay for any damage!”
The stallion quirked and eyebrow, watching as the flustered Derpy apologize profusely. Finally, he shook his head, signaling her to be quiet. The grey mare snapped her mouth shut, dreading the pending response. 
“Pay? For what? A bent feather?" 

For a moment, his attempt at humor confused Derpy, and she frantically wondered just how much fixing a bent feather would cost. She then noticed the smile playing across the stallions face, and cocked her head in confusion. 
“You… you aren’t mad?”
He shook his head, gold eyes sparkling in the mid day sun. 
"These wind currents are completely unpredictable. It could happen to anyone. Besides, like you said, it was an accident." 

Derpy stared at him, aghast. He wasn't mad? Everyone got mad when she crashed into them, and with good reason. So why wasn’t he yelling at her in frustration. Derpy realized she was staring at the stallion in silence, and hastily extended a hoof. 
"Um, well, thank you then. I’m so sorry, I really didn't mean too." 
“Well obviously!”
The stallion took her hoof, shaking it as he laughed. 
"I'm Blue Skies, nice to meet you...?"

Derpy simply stared at him, and after a long moment of silence, realized he was waiting for her name. Smiling hesitantly, she replied, 
“I’m Blue— eh, Derpy! I’m Derpy Hooves. Some people call me Ditzy though. Or Clutz.”
Instantly regretting her words, she took a hasty step backward, pawing the ground uncomfortably.  But Blue Skies took no notice of her slip up and merely grinned at her. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Derpy! I’d love to stay and chat, but I have somewhere to be. I’ll see you around!”
With that, the pale blue stallion turned and trotted away, leaving Derpy stunned. She simply stood, staring after his retreating form. She was still shocked by his calm response to her brutal attack. Any other pony would have leaped at her throat for bowling them over in such a fantastic manner, but it hardly seemed to bother Blue Skies in the least. A feeling of warmth blossomed in her chest, and the blonde mare felt a silly grin forming on her face.

Suddenly remembering Brick, Derpy Hooves whirled and glanced about, trying to locate him. After calling his name a few times, a disgruntled squeak of protest lead her to a nearby clump of tulips, where she found him trying to untangle himself from the flowers. She scooped him up and cradled him close to her chest. 
"Geeze, I’m really sorry about that." 

Brick just huffed and at looked her with eyes that said, “Not like this is the first time”, then wound himself round her neck, nibbling at her ear. Derpy smiled with relief and turned to head home, as slowly sunk lower and lower on the western horizon. As she walked, a pair of gold eyes glowed in the back of her mind, and blonde mare smiled.

Blue Skies. What a lovely name.
> Chapter 2: Good Intentions Gone Awry 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Knock, knock, knock

Derpy jerked awake, blinking blearily as she tried to focus. 
What in the world…?
She listened closely, listening for the sound to come again, but all she could hear was the subtle chirping of early morning birds. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table; 5:19?! Who would be up at such an hour? Surely, no one. She nestled deeper into the mattress, curling into a warm ball under the covers, and was just slipping away into a dream when-

Knock knock knock

Derpy jerked awake and toppled out of bed, legs and wings thoroughly tangled in her bed sheets. Staggering upright, Derpy kicked the sheets from her legs and fumbled for the light switch. She swiped at the wall a few times before finally managing to hit the switch, and winced as the light temporarily blinded her. Viewing the world through squinted eyes, the grey mare stumbled into the hallway. She clumsily made her way to the front door, wondering who was so insane as to bang on her door at five in the morning.

"Knockity knock knock!"

A high pitched voice called out from behind the wooden barrier, followed by more incessant banging. 

"Knockity knock— I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As she passed the living room, she paused to snatch a blanket off the couch, failing to notice the sleeping ferret on top. As Brick tumbled to the floor, Derpy wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and hurried to the door. Groggily, she fiddled with the door knob, attempting to get the heavy door open while mentally half dead. She could hardly see, much less properly control her hooves. At last, she managed to twist the handle, and the door swung wide, revealing a bright pink mare with a mane that closely resembled cotton candy. 
"Pinkie Pie? What are you-"

Pinkie Pie bounced up and down, and a small confetti launcher behind her popped loudly, causing Derpy to yelp in surprise. "Wakey wakey! Come on sleepy head, we're having a party! "

Derpy rubbed her eyes, yawning. 
"A… party? Why?"

The pink mare giggled, straightening the party hat perched atop her fluffy mane. 
"To welcome someone special, du-uh!"

Derpy shook her head, sighing. Sometimes, Pinkie Pie was worse than her. 
"Pinkie, I hate to ruin your plans, but you already threw me a welcoming party... three years ago."

Pinkie paused her bouncing to glare at her in an “I'm-not-really-mad-at-you” sort of fashion that only Pinkie Pie could pull off. 

"Not for you, you silly duck, for Blue Skies! Now come on, get ready! Meet us at Sugar cube corner by seven oooooooo’ clock!"

Blue Skies, the pony she had met yesterday? Derpy realized she had never seen him before that day in the park. So he was new to Ponyville? For reasons she couldn’t explain, the realization gave Derpy a hopeful feeling.

“Oh, and you might want to brush your mane. It’s insaa-aane!”

With that, the pink mare disappeared, her strange confetti contraption vanishing as well. She left no trace she had ever visited, save for the glittering confetti on the door step. Derpy paused, puzzled, and stuck her head out the door, glancing one way, then the other. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be found. Shaking her head once again, Derpy closed the door and turned to face the ferret glaring daggers at her from the floor. Brick snatched the blanket from her and bounded back to the couch, curling into a ball of red fluff once again. 

Sighing, the grey mare wandered back into the illuminated bedroom, frowning at her reflection in the vanity mirror. Her mane was indeed, as Pinkie Pie had stated, insane. How did Pinkie manage to keep her own mane in order anyway? She grabbed a brush from the counter and began attacking her hair. Though it took a good deal of work, she managed to get her mane back into its original state. She sighed, eyeing her reflection with distaste. A pair of crossed, yellow eyes stared back at her. These eyes had set the theme for her entire life. Funny how such things work.

Remembering to put in her contacts, Derpy turned from the vanity, glancing at the dresser across the room, and her mind returned to Blue Skies. The sky blue stallion had haunted her most of the night, filling her head with strange dreams. She found that whenever her mind wandered, she always returned to events of the previous afternoon. She realized that if Blue Skies was new to Ponyville, odds were he knew nothing of her less than perfect reputation. Maybe if she could keep herself out of trouble… Her thoughts swirled as she hastily sorted through her dresser, searching for something to wear. Nothing appealed to her. As she finished scanning through her entire wardrobe for the third time, she caught a glimpse of the time. 6:32. Time to get a move on.

Casting another quick glance at the mirror, Derpy scuttled out the door, her stomach roiling with apprehension. The flight to Ponyville Square seemed even longer than usual. When at last Derpy landed in front of the bakery, she noticed the streets were empty and quiet. It seemed Pinkie Pie had stuck to her habit of leaving no one out of the festivities. Sure enough, as the pegasus approached the front door, she could hear the muffled noise of ponies laughing and shouting. Before she could raise a hoof to knock, Pinkie Pie opened the door, greeting her with a broad smile.
"Derpy, you’re here! It’s about time!" 

Turning to the throng of ponies behind her, the pink mare shrieked;
"Everyone listen up! Last pony’s here, so I’m gonna go get Blue Skies! Be ready!" 

The assembled ponies cheered, and Pinkie bounced out the door, leaving the room humming with excitement. 

Derpy soon found herself by the buffet, which was crowded with ponies chatting amongst themselves. Even though the room was packed, they all gave Derpy space as she approached, backing away to avoid any maintain a safe distance. The grey pegasus looked hopefully at Lyra and Bon Bon, but when they saw her, the quickly left for the pin-the-tail-on-the-pony game. Derpy shrugged off the dismissal and took a muffin from the buffet, knowing Pinkie Pie had baked them with her in mind. 

"Derpy!" 

A shrill voice rang out above the buzzing crowd, and Derpy turned just in time to see a small filly bolt through the crowd.
“Dinky!” 

The blonde mare bent low to embrace her youngest sister, who rushed forward, wrapping her tiny hooves around Derpy’s neck while Sparkler followed close behind. Derpy smiled as a warm feeling rushed through her, and nudged her sister’s cheek fondly. Glancing upward, she met the cool gaze of her other sister, Sparkler. 
“Hi Sparkler, it’s been awhile hasn’t it?”

The violet pony nodded uncomfortably. While Derpy and Dinky Doo had grown up act much like their mother, Sparkler, the middle sister, had always taken after their father, a solemn pony who’s first and foremost priority was making a name for himself. 
"Hello Derpy, it's nice to see you again." 

Sparkler turned to her younger sister.
"Dinky dear, why don’t we go play charades with Berry Punch? Hmm?"

Dinky bounced up and down, nodding vigorously. Together, she and Sparkler turned and disappeared into the crowd of ponies. Derpy watched them leave, her heart sinking. She was used to getting the cold shoulder from her younger sister, but it still hurt. 

Lily, who had been poised at the window for the past ten minutes, suddenly fell out of her chair in excitement. Leaping to her hooves, she whirled to face the crowd.
"THEY’RE COMING. EVERYONE HIDE!" 

The room erupted into a frenzied clatter and ponies dived for cover, darting under tables and behind curtains. Derpy made a break for the kitchen door, hiding behind the bottom panel. The sound of repressed giggling floated around the room as Pinkie Pie spoke loudly from just outside the front door.
"Aaandd this, is Sugarcube Corner!"

Pinkie Pie opened the door, leaned in, and gave everyone a wink before shoving Blue Skies inside.

“SURPRISE!”

Blue Skies jumped in surprise as ponies leapt from their hiding places, welcoming him and tossing confetti. His mouth dropped open in shock, and after a moment, an elated grin spread over his face. He was soon swept away by a crowd, and Derpy watched as he was overwhelmed with curious ponies. She sat on her haunches to wait. She would get her turn to speak with him soon enough.

An hour and a half later, Derpy was beginning to grow impatient. She had already approached Blue Skies several times, but whenever she found an opening to speak with him, he was drawn away be someone else. She was getting rather frustrated, and began to wonder if she should try again another day when Pinkie Pie threw open the kitchen doors, calling, “Hey everyone! I made Chimmy Cherry Channnggaaas!” The ponies gathered in the bakery cheered and hurried to the kitchen, eager to snag a piece of the cherry concoction, and leaving Blue Skies open for conversation. Eagerly, Derpy hurried forward, calling out a greeting. The pale stallion turned, and recognition flashed across his face when he caught sight of her.
“Hey, I know you! Aren’t you the pony I bumped into at the park?” 

Derpy blushed, cringing as the previous day’s events returned to her..
“Oh, yeah. I guess you could say that! I… umm.” 

She pawed at the ground nervously, suddenly wishing she had thought of something to say before she approached. The blue stallion smiled, waiting expectantly.
“I just wanted to say welcome to Ponyville! I’ve never seen you round here before. Is this your first time visiting?”

”Not bad” Derpy thought happily as Blue Skies nodded in affirmation. 
“I just moved down here from Canterlot. I’m so glad to be out of there.” 
The stallion paused, frowning.
”I mean it’s not that I don’t like Canterlot! It’s just so crowded… it wears on you after a while.”

Derpy couldn’t help but grin. 
“I know exactly what you mean! I moved here from Cloudsdale a few years ago. I got into too much- um, I just liked the idea of living on the ground better!” 
She breathed a sigh of relief. That was a close one. She was rather impressive with herself as she carried out a casual conversation with Blue Skies, and was thrilled with how well things were going.

“Pardon me, may I?”

Startled, Derpy simply stared at the pony who had addressed her before she realized that she was blocking the punch bowl, and a thirsty Colgate had been patiently waiting to get by. Trying to be polite, the grey mare quickly tried to move out of the way, but when she stepped backward, she kicked the pony behind her in the shin, causing her to drop the drink she had been holding. 
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” 

She bent to retrieve the empty glass, but as she leaned forward, slipped on the spilled punch and crashed to the floor. With a startled yelp, she fell against the punch stand, knocking the table over with a loud crash. Orange liquid was sent in all directions, soaking the horrified on lookers as Derpy was pinned beneath the wooden table. There was a terrible moment of silence; a few shocked gasps, then, giggling. 

Derpy wriggled out from under the table, and found herself looking into the face of Blue Skies. The pale stallion had a hoof over his mouth, and his cheeks were flushed as he tried to contain his laughter. The giggling grew louder as Derpy struggled to free herself from the table cloth, which had gotten tangled around her legs. Soon, the room was filled with unbridled laughter, and her eyes began to well up with tears. Angrily she kicked the cloth free and stood, eyes widening in horror. Everyone was laughing at her. No one bothered trying to hide it. The first tear fell, and she turned and dashed out the door, unable to bear the humiliation. 

Derpy ran without any idea of where she was headed. She only knew she had to get away from the laughter. Tears blurred her vision, but instinct guided her home, away from the party and her embarrassment. Crashing through the front door, she ran to her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed, sobbing into a pillow. It had happened yet again. It always did. She had ruined a perfectly good day and embarrassed herself in front of all of Ponyville, including Blue Skies. Brick clambered onto the bed, squeaking softly and nuzzling her tearstained cheek as she choked back her tears. Sniffing, the blonde mare sat upright, and Brick crept into her lap, gazing at her with sympathy. 

”Pull yourself together Ditzy, it’s not the first time. We can fix this.”
Derpy thought, nodding to herself. Surely, she couldn’t be the only hopelessly clumsy pony in town. She couldn’t be. Maybe the others had found a way to fix themselves. Maybe there was some form of treatment for her condition. Could there be? Or was she out of luck? Either way, she had to try. The daily humiliation was pushing her to her breaking point. But what could be done? Derpy concentrated, trying to think of every possible solution to her plight, and started as an idea came to her. Why hadn’t she thought of this before?

”Twilight!”

> Chapter 3: Form and Finesse 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following morning, Princess Twilight Sparkle was lying on the library floor, happily engrossed in a book when Derpy stumbled through the doorway.
“Twilight? Twilight! I need your help!”

The lavender alicorn’s head snapped up in surprise, caught off guard by Derpy Hooves sudden appearance. She leapt to her hooves, the book she had been reading following her in a purple haze of magic. “Derpy, don’t you ever knock?”
As she spoke, she unfurled her wings and stood protectively in front of the loaded book shelves. Evidently, the re-shelving mishap hadn’t been forgotten.

The mare in question eagerly trotted forward, glancing at the large array of books that covered the walls. “Oh, yeah... Um, sorry about that Twilight. It’s just…”
Derpy paused in the middle of the room, shyness overtaking her as she shifted her weight from one side to the other. Nervously, she traced circles on the floor with her hoof. “Listen, I was wondering if… now that I say it out loud, I guess it sounds silly, but… is there any sort of magical cure for clumsiness?”

Twilight stared at her with a blank look, mentally processing the grey mare’s request. After a moment of silence, she shook her head doubtfully.
“Well… no, I don’t think so.”
The book she had been previously levitating fell to the floor with a soft thud as Twilight turned to the book shelves behind her. Several thick volumes slid from the shelves seemingly of their own accord, each floating before the alicorn’s face as she read the titles.
“Spells for the Curing of Common Ailments, Magical Remedies for Hang ups and Habits…”

She paused, frowning at the book hovering before her.
“Magical Muffin Recipes? I wasn’t looking for—”

Derpy quickly snatched the book from her.
“I’ll take that!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, but said nothing and returned to her searching.
“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as far as I can tell, there’s no magical cure for butter hooves.”

Derpy sighed and dropped her head, hope ebbing from her. Catching her eye, Twilight smiled sympathetically.
“All the same, perhaps you'll find this useful!”

Derpy lifted her head to find a copy of Form and Finesse; a Reference Guide hovering in front of her face. She took the book from Twilights magical grip and studied the cover closely. The cover of the book assured her that by following the fool proof steps inside, she was guaranteed a complete change of nature. Tucking the book beneath her wing, she smiled at the librarian.
“Thanks Twilight! Maybe this can help.”

At least I hope so…
Derpy thought to herself as trotted down the main road, her new book tucked firmly beneath her wing. The humiliation of yesterday was still painfully fresh in her mind, and she found her pace quickening as the fear of recognition overtook her. She sped to a swift gallop, hooves thudding against the cobblestone as she sped home. It felt good to run, and gradually, her agitation wore away. By the time she had reached her home, her panicked gallop had slowed to a swift trot.

Retrieving her mail bags, Derpy returned to town, picking up her assigned mail load and distractedly completing her usual route. As she slipped assorted letters in packages into their appropriate mail boxes, she mulled over her newly acquired book. Could a simple book really teach her the finer points of not being a screw up? Perhaps it was possible. By the time her mail bags were empty, the sun had just begun to sink in the west. She hastily traveled back through Ponyville, eager to be back in the comfort of her own home. 

Upon returning to her cottage, Derpy hurried inside, quickly closing the door behind her and darting to her bedroom to start her new book. Sprawling out across the mattress, she excitedly flipped to the first page and began to read.




Form and Finesse; a Reference Guide
Chapter one: Understanding Your Predicament

If you’re reading this book, then odds are you suffer from genetic ineptitude.
Fear not, dear reader! For you see, your condition isn't uncommon! Many ponies suffer from the same ailment you do! And as you may have learned already, the solution is only a few simple steps away!




Derpy was enchanted by the book, and would have read through the night if Brick hadn’t eventually appeared beside her, tapping her hoof and gesturing at the clock. The grey mare was surprised to find it was already 11:30.
“Oh, goodness. I should probably sleep shouldn’t I?”

Brick huffed in agreement and hopped from the bed to the carpet bellow, dashing down the hallway. A moment later, he returned, dragging an old worn out blanket behind him. Blanket in tow, he clambered up onto the bed and curled up near the headboard, waiting expectantly.
Derpy grinned at him, closing the book and placing it on the nightstand. Yawning, she turned out the lights and crawled under the covers, smiling to herself as new, grand ideas filled her head.

The next morning, Derpy awoke bright and early, her spirits high as the studied the to-do list on the counter.
1.)  Think positive thoughts.
2.)  Remember, you’re only as clumsy as you think you are!
3.)  Pick up muffin supplies at Sugar Cube Corner, and apples at Applejack’s stand.
4.)  Don’t forget the house key.

Derpy started to leave, her front hooves over the door step, then paused, reading over the list again. Darting back inside, she snatched the copper house key from the key rack and tucked it and the small list into the pocket of her mail bag. She mentally reviewed today's objectives one final time as she exited the house and locked the door behind her, humming cheerily. The first chapter of the book has been very specific about thinking positively, as one's mindset greatly affected the manner of one's actions. It had said “half of being clumsy is simply accepting the idea that you’re clumsy.” It was odd to think that part of her klutzy nature was self inflicted. Had she really been the cause of her own blunders? What a strange thought... 

Derpy, preferring ground travel, trotted up the small red dirt path that wound its way through the woods bordering her cottage. Sunlight streamed through the mid autumn foliage, dappling the ground before her. A gentle smile crossed her features, and she inhaled deeply, the scent of pine needles and leaf matter elevating her mood even further. She couldn’t help but think if ever a perfect Saturday morning existed, this was it. Reaching the main road, Derpy picked up her pace, eager to be done with her errands and enjoy the rest of the day. 

With a soft jingle, the door to Sugar Cube Corner swung wide, and the blonde pegasus blinked, her eyes adjusting to the darker, interior light. The events of thursday echoed through her mind, the familiar setting reawakening buried memories. She shook her head as if she attempting to lose an annoying insect, snorting. Today was a good day, and she wasn’t going to let previous events ruin her mood.

Smiling warmly, Derpy lifted a wing in a wave to the mare behind the counter. “Good morning Mrs. Cake!”
Mrs. Cake glanced up from her paper, shooting her a pleasant smile as she subtly moved the vase of flowers on the counter onto a table out of Derpy’s reach.
“Well, good morning dear! So nice to see you! What can I do for ya?”
“I’m running low on ingredients. You know, the usual!”
“Of course, one moment!”
The ginger-maned mare disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Derpy to stand awkwardly in the near empty store. 

Without warning, a bright pink pony burst through the kitchen door, causing Derpy to jump in surprise. An assortment of baking supplies was balanced artfully on her vibrant, fluffy mane.
“Heya Derpy! How are you dooin?”

With a whumph, a bag of flour dropped onto the counter, a small white cloud settling around the base. Derpy sneezed as the white dust tickled her nose. With another whumph, a bag of sugar joined the flour on the counter. Glancing up, Derpy smiled at the mare in front of her. 
“Oh, hi Pinkie! Where’s Mrs. Cake?”
The bright mare grinned, pushing a bottle of vanilla in Derpy’s direction.
“She has a last minute custard order to take care of. I’ve got her covered! Here’s everything you need for those muffins! Ya know, I personally prefer cupcakes myself, though muffins might be my third and three quarters favorite! Or maybe seventh and two fifths favorite. Sooomee people say muffins and cupcakes are a lot alike, but obviously there’s a substantial size difference. And comparing muffins and cupcakes is really unfair, seeings as how cupcakes have the obvious advantage of icing, countered by the incredible variety of batter flavors and additional ingredient combinations of muffins.”

Derpy nodded, pretending she understood what Pinkie Pie had just said. 
“Mmmhmm… that’s interesting Pinkie!”

The blonde mare transferred the assorted ingredients on the counter into her saddle bags. 
“I’d love to hear more but I gotta run some more errands. I’ll see ya later!”
Dropping nine bits on the counter, Derpy turned and trotted out the door, her precious cargo resting heavily on her back. She fished around in her saddlebags and retrieved the crumpled piece of paper that was her list.
“Right! Now for the apples!”

Derpy scanned the brick road in front of her, and sure enough, Applejack had taken her usual place in corner of the marketplace, a vibrantly painted sign advertising her fresh produce. Derpy started off toward it at a cheery pace, then came to a sudden halt, hooves skidding on the cobble stone pavement as her eyes locked on the pale blue stallion in front of her.
Blue Skies? Oh gosh, does he really have to be here right now?

Gulping, Derpy did her best to push every possible clumsy thought from her mind, filling her head with encouraging words of self assurance. 
Remember, “half of being clumsy is simply accepting the idea that you’re clumsy!”
As of yet, she hadn’t bumped into anything or knocked anything over. That was a start! She trotted forward with renewed confidence. 

“Hey Applejack!”
“Wha- well, howdy Derpy!”
The orange cow pony shifted behind the stand, tipping her hat to the grey pegasus.
“Something tells me ya got a hankerin fer some fresh apples.”
Derpy smiled, nodding.
“Sure do! Do you have any red delicious? They’re my favorite!”

As Applejack eyed the assorted baskets of apples, Derpy cast a glance toward Blue Skies, and an unexpected lump emerged in her throat. Colgate stood talking to the stallion, a warm smile on her face, giggling at every other word.
“Eh, Derpy? Ah said, ‘how many do ya want?’”

Derpy turned quickly, distracted.
“Uh yeah, I heard you, five’s good.”
Applejack placed five bright red apples in Derpy’s saddlebag.
“That’d be five bits please!”
Derpy smiled nervously and tossed the coins on the counter, turning to turn around to face Blue Skies. As she did, the strap on her bag caught on the apple stands support posts. Without thinking, she yanked hard on the bag.
“Wait! Derpy-” 

The strap came loose, and the support post came with it. With a groan, the apple stand came crashing down, apples rolling in all directions. Colgate turned and gasped in surprise, while Blue Skies stood, mouth agape. Horrified, Derpy dug through the wooden planks, which had buried Applejack in the downfall.
“Applejack! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! It was an accident!”
The orange mare kicked a piece of wood away from her flank, shaking her head with a small, forced laugh.
“Don’t you worry about it Derpy, it happens! You might wanna let me handle this though.”

Derpy backed away uncertainly, and Blue Skies pushed past her, extending a hoof to help Applejack. Derpy’s eyes widened, her chest tightening in dismay. Colgate stared at her in alarm. “Derpy! What happened? What did you do?” 
She shook her head, backing away. “I— I didn’t mean— it was an accident…” 
But I was doing so well...
Tears welled in her eyes, and she whirled away, fleeing the pile of rubble. 

“Derpy! Derpy, wait!”

Applejack called after her, but the pegasus was already gone. 





Derpy might have cried, had she any breath left in her. She collapsed on a park bench, coughing and panting as she tried to regain her breath. Her lungs burned, and her legs ached after her frenzied retreat. Her blind gallop had carried her far from the marketplace, and now, away from the site of humiliation, she felt a little more at ease. She lifted her head and glanced around, tossing her ruffled forelock from her eyes. As she took in the surrounding scenery, she recognized the decor of Ponyville Park. Derpy often found that this was where she came when she wanted to escape from her troubles, as the open landscape was strangely relaxing. After an emotionally stressful event, she often ended up here. 

Taking a shaky breath, she slipped down from the bench, smoothing out her mane and shuffling her wings. Snuffling, she squinted at the grass beneath her hooves, trying to identify at what point things had taken a turn for the worse. It seemed that she had done really well for the most part, all up to the moment saw Blue Skies. After that, things had fallen apart. The blue eyed stallion had made her nervous, and her nervousness caused her to be careless. It was apparent that, while positive thoughts helped, they couldn’t completely rid her of her problem.

Derpy decided it would be best to go back home, after all, that had been her original plan before the accident. Though she preferred ground travel, it seemed flying would be a more efficient manner of getting home. Her saddlebags were heavy, and her hasty escape from the marketplace had left her exhausted, so she alternated between lazy flight and a slow walk. Because of this, it took her significantly longer to reach her home, and she was thoroughly drained when she did. 

Sighing, the blonde mare closed the door with a soft thud and dropped her mail bag on the counter, wings drooping at her sides. Before anything else, she was in desperate need of a nap. 


Several hours passed before Derpy awoke from her power nap. Sitting upright in her bed, she rubbed her eyes, yawning. Though sleep had significantly improved her mood, she still felt somewhat upset, the memory of her embarrassment clouding her thoughts. She decided to do what she normally did to lift her spirits. Bake more muffins.

Ambling to the kitchen, she blearily spread the freshly bought muffin supplies on the kitchen table, slowly awaking from her stupor. Taking a large mixing bowl from the cabinet, she began to sing softly to herself.
“All you gotta do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix.”

With every movement, her mood lightened, and soon she was smiling again.
“Then you take a little somethin’ sweet not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch.”

Brick crawled up onto the table next to her, sniffing the mixing bowl tentatively. Squeaking, he cast the grey pegasus a hopeful look. She grinned and offered him a spoonful of batter.
“Baking these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla. 
Add a little more, and you count to four and never get your fillaaa-”

Transferring the contents of her mixing bowl into a muffin pan, she placed the aluminum tin in the oven, spinning less-than-gracefully as she set the empty bowl in the sink.
“Muffins, so sweet and tasty, 
Muffins, don’t be too hasty! 
Muffins, muffins, muffins, muffins!”

Derpy laughed as she returned the ingredients to the pantry. Pinkie Pie and her strange antics never failed to cheer her up. After washing her dishes and cleaning up after her cooking, the blonde mare retrieved Form and Finesse from her bedroom and sat at the kitchen table, Twilight’s book between her hooves.




Form and Finesse; a Reference Guide
Chapter Five: The Next Step
In previous chapters, you have studied the basis of your predicament, learning all the finer details of just what makes a klutz out of a perfectly decent pony. Now we come to the part you have been anticipating! The secret to salvation. You might be surprised to learn that reforming your clumsy habits is easier than it sounds! The first step is to keep thinking those positive thoughts! Remember, you’re only as clumsy as you believe you are! Now, get ready for part two: train yourself. It’s time to put that positive thinking into action! Watch your hooves, keep an eye out for potential disasters, and watch out for settings where it can be easy to trip or bump into someone...




DING!

The lovely scent of freshly baked muffins filled the kitchen, and Derpy set the book down, scuttling to the oven to free her precious muffins. She had been experimenting with flavors, this batch being coconut cream, and by the smell, they were going to be delicious. After she had let them cool, the mare carefully extracted a pale muffin, and quickly found they were still a little too warm to handle. Dropping the pastry onto the counter, she shook her hooves to cool them off, pondering the most recent chapter of her book.

Carefully, Derpy dished half of the fresh muffins into a basket, mentally dissecting her newly acquired information. The idea of completely changing her nature seemed fairly complicated, but the book assured her that it wouldn’t be too hard. She recalled it had also mentioned something about “professional training”. Whatever did that mean? She considered this as she covered the basket with a handkerchief. For whom the muffins were intended, she wasn’t sure, but she always enjoyed sharing her baking. 

Derpy absentmindedly studied a crystal prism resting on the window sill. The small trinket had been a gift from Twilight, and she was rather fond of the way it refracted the sunlight from outside. Was there such a thing as professional training for her sort of thing? The idea of someone who made a career out of teaching ponies how to stand seemed slightly ridiculous. Even so, perhaps there might be someone willing to at least give her a few pointers. But who on earth would one consult on such a thing? Her gaze was still fixed on the sunlight gem by the window, and as she studied it, a thought occurred to her. She knew exactly who she wanted to share her muffins with.
> Chapter 4: Close Encounters 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derpy Hooves shivered in the cool morning air, wings wrapped tightly around herself to keep warm. She had gotten up extra early to finish her mail route, saving the rest of the day for her new quest. The grey mare checked her “don’t-forget” list, skimming through it to make sure she had gotten all the right houses. Everything appeared to be in order. She reached into her mail bag to retrieve her last delivery, an odd brown parcel with foreign writing on it, and dropped it on the doorstep of Doctor Whooves. Suspiciously, she eyed the blue telephone booth in front of his house. She would never understand that strange stallion. 

With a few flaps, she rose into the air, Ponyville shrinking beneath her as she flew higher. She winced as a cold gust of air hit her and scanned the town below, searching from the familiar, spired roof top. There, on the far side of town, she finally spotted Carousel Boutique, seemingly glowing in the light of the rising sun. The elegant building that served as a fashion boutique also doubled as a home. Flaring her light grey wings, Derpy glided lazy over the roof tops of PonyVille, flapping only on occasion to maintain altitude.

Dropping back down to ground level, she stumbled slightly as she landed on the front step of the boutique. Shuffling her wings so that they lay comfortably against her sides, Derpy checked that she had the right mail then proceeded to knock on the door, a basket of Coconut Cream Muffins held tightly in her mouth. For a moment, she merely stood in uncomfortable silence, the air seeming to grow heavy around her. She pawed at the ground, her nerves taught as hurried hoofsteps echoed from behind the door. There was the jingle of lock and chain, and the door swung open, revealing a sleepy, white unicorn. Her hair was arranged in a haphazard bun behind her ears, and small curls had fallen loose from either side. 

“Derpy? Good gracious, what are you doing here? And at such an early hour?”
Derpy gave her a nervous smile, depositing the fragrant basket on her door step.
“Good morning Rarity! Your hair looks lovely. I mean, it always looks lovely of course, but most ponies look really bad in the morning. You don’t. I like your mane.”
Rarity stared at her blankly, blinking slowly. 

“I brought your mail, and some homemade muffins. I have a favor to ask.”
Rarity’s indigo eyes widened, and she lowered her head to nose the basket at her hooves. Derpy smiled to herself. You learn some interesting things about ponies, being a mail mare. One of those things was that Rarity had a major sweet tooth. The pegasus retrieved Rarity’s mail from her saddlebags and proffered it to her. The letters in Derpy’s hooves floated away in a pale haze of magic, along with the basket of muffins, as Rarity cocked an eyebrow.

“A favor? Well, certainly darling! I’d be happy to help. What is it you need? A dress for a formal dinner? A new mane style? A more—”
Rarity paused, glancing at the bright blue mail bag draped over Derpy’s back.
“ermm, flattering saddlebag?”
Derpy blinked and shook her head.
“No, none of those things! You see, I have this book— what’s wrong with my mail bag?”
Rarity flashed a brilliant smile, laughing too loudly.
“Nothing at all dear! Come inside and I’ll make you some tea.”

Rarity turned and trotted back into the house, muffins and mail bobbing along behind her. As the pegasus followed her inside, she heard her muttering something about not having time to fix her hair.
“Take a seat darling! I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

The idea of Rarity’s plump furniture was ideal after a rushed morning, and Derpy quickly found her way to the living room, flopping onto Rarity’s couch and studying her surroundings. Rarity kept her house incredibly tidy with absolutely flawless decor. Derpy had never seen a house so well coordinated. Even the magazines that were artfully spread across the coffee table matched the color of the furniture and wallpaper. Derpy was comfortably sprawled out on the sofa when Rarity re-appeared. 
“GAH!”

Cups rattled on a silver tray as Rarity’s magical grip jerked in her surprise, and Derpy turned to see the unicorn staring at her, her mouth open in horror. At first, Derpy couldn’t seem to figure out what had upset her, then she spotted it; her muddy hooves were on the red velvet sofa. Tumbling off couch, the grey pegasus scrambled to her feet, apologizing profusely.
“I’m so sorry Rarity! I wasn’t paying attention!”

Rarity raised a hoof in dismal, regaining her composure and shaking her head resolutely.
“No no, don’t worry. That mud should come right out. I hope.”
Rarity set the tea tray on the glass coffee table returned to the kitchen, fetching a washcloth and bucket of water to clean with. Dabbing delicately at the velvet, she spoke to Derpy over her shoulder, intent on her task.
“Now then, while I take care of this, you ought to explain that favor you mentioned earlier.”





Finished at last, Rarity sat on the newly cleaned red velvet couch, legs crossed in a lady-like manner and a cup of tea floating front of her. She watched Derpy intently, and other than the occasional sip from her steaming mug, her attention was completely fixated on the clumsy mare, who poured out her entire story, grateful for someone who would listen. As Derpy concluded her monologue, the white unicorn placed her empty cup on the table, delicately hopping down from her seat as she spoke.

“Well, you certainly came to the right mare for help! As you may have guessed, I know almost everything there is to know when it comes to proper behaviour. I’ve read several books on the subject! I’m sure I can find some way to be of assistance to you.”

The mug clasped between Derpy’s front hooves was yanked away and Rarity levitated dishes onto a tray, carrying the arrangement into the kitchen.
“Actually, this should be rather enjoyable! I have always considered a side career as an Self-Image Consultant. This would be a wonderful opportunity to try my hoof at the idea! This is simplement magnifique!”

Rarity reappeared, prancing excitedly as she used her magic to move all of her furniture to the far edges of the room, including the couch Derpy was sitting on. The sudden shift of the chair beneath her caused the grey mare to tumble from her seat with an ”oomph!”
“That’s, ‘simply magnificent’ in French, by the way. We’ll need maximum floor space for our first session!”

“We’re starting now?”
Derpy scrambled to her hooves, tripped, and fell back on her haunches. Rarity eyed the blonde mare with a calculating look.
“I believe our first lesson should be grace.”





“No! Derpy— Ugh... I’ll tell you again, the key to training up good posture is keeping your weight equally distributed between all four hooves. You can’t use your wings to help you balance!”

The grey mare stumbled around on the plush carpet, struggling to keep a single book balanced atop head while Rarity called out instruction. The elegant unicorn stood off to one side, her carefully coifed mane some what ruffled and her pale face unusually flushed. Rarity sighed, running a hoof over her forelock and enveloping the book in a cloud of magic, catching it as the Derpy tripped for the umpteenth time. Blushing, the pegasus regained her footing once again, shaking out her mane with a mumbled apology.

Rarity set the book on the coffee table and disappeared into the hallway, muttering under her breath. She returned a moment later with a silken scarf clenched between her teeth. Using her magic, she tied the scarf firmly around Derpy’s ribcage, effectively pinning both wings to her sides.
“Now, try again. Start out nice and slow, and don’t take a step forward until you feel confident. Your goal is to cross the floor. That’s all.”

Rarity balanced the book atop Derpy’s blonde mane and stepped back, watching carefully as the pegasus focused all of her attention on the thick volume perched between her ears. After a moment of painful silence, she took a singular step forward, concentrating on keeping the book from toppling to the floor yet again. Feeling the book start to slip, Derpy shifted her weight, trying her hardest to keep her balance.

I've got to get it right this time. I can do this! Concentrate, concentrate.

Derpy tentatively took another step.

So far, so good. You’re doing great, just relax…

Wobbling slightly, she took a deep breath and slowly lifted a front hoof. Rarity cheered her on.
“Wonderful, Derpy! You’re doing marvelously!”

Derpy lowered her hoof, releasing the pent up air in her lungs. She now lifted a back hoof, and as she did so, the book began to slide forward. Panicking, Derpy leaned backward, her wings straining against the scarf around her waist. The book slipped even further, and Derpy desperately tried to re-balance, but it was too late. The book hit the floor with a dull thud, and, tripping on her hooves, the grey pegasus fell heavily on her rump. Again.  

“I’m sorry Rarity, I just can’t seem to— ack!”
Derpy gasped in shock as Rarity practically strangled her in a hug.
“Oh don’t apologize! That was excellent! So much better than the last time. You see, you don’t have to rely on your wings!”
Rarity released the pegasus from her death grip, and Derpy stumbled backward, tilting her head in confusion.
“That was… good?”

“It most certainly was! Your progress is already evident. I’m very proud of you!”

As Rarity used her magic to untie the scarf, Derpy felt a smile creeping across her face. “I… I was good!” She turned to Rarity, who was returning the scarf to a hall closet.
“So what do we do next?”
Rarity glanced over her shoulder in surprise.
“What? You want to practice even more? Derpy, darling, it’s already past one! You’ve been here for hours! Don’t you think we should pick up on this another time?”
Rarity let the scarf fall the floor, walking to Derpy and placing a hoof on her shoulder. 
“Dearie, I admire your enthusiasm, but you mustn't—”

Rarity froze in mid-sentence, mouth agape, her eyes locked on the clock hanging on the far wall.

“MY GOODNESS, MY LUNCHEON!”

The grey pegasus found she was being roughly shoved out the door as Rarity spoke in a rush of words. “It’s one o’clock! Oh goodness, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten!  I’m terribly sorry, but you must excuse me. I have a very important luncheon with some very important ponies that I simply must attend to. Keep practicing your balance! Oooohh I’m going to be late!”

The door of Carousel Boutique slammed shut behind her, and Derpy frowned, concerned with the sounds of mayhem that issued from the open window in the kitchen.
“Good heavens, what happened to the time? I was sure I had hours! Oh I’m going to be so late! I can’t miss this meeting. Where is that hat? Opaall! Opal, darling, have you seen my— EEEEEEEAUGH!”

Derpy decided it would be best to leave Rarity to her own devices, turning and trotting toward the Ponyville Post office. She still had to turn in the mail she had collected and claim her paycheck. After hours of balancing a heavy book on her head, the mare couldn’t help but notice that her feet felt lighter, and she naturally held her head higher. Her smile broadened, and she tossed her mane happily, stretching her wings. She waved jauntily to ponies she passed, her mail bag bouncing across her back. Early fall leaves skittered across the road, carried along by a light breeze. The Running of the Leaves would take place soon. Perhaps Derpy would participate this year.

As the post office came into view, Derpy stopped short, catching sight of a familiar pale pelt entering through the double doors. Her smile faltered, and her stomach twisted into knots at the thought of another encounter. 
Why do I keep running into him? It’s ridiculous.
For a moment, she debated hiding in the bushes until Blue Skies had come and gone, but she knew it was a ridiculous notion. There was no reason for Derpy to be shy, she was perfectly capable of controlling her own hooves! The blonde mare shook her head, chiding herself as she determinedly strode forward.

Pushing the tall double door open with her nose, Derpy entered Ponyville Post Office with confidence. This was her workplace after all, why should she be timid? Cooly, she nod to the pony behind the counter, pointedly avoiding the gaze of certain stallion.
“Good afternoon First Class! I have the mail, and I’d like to pick up my monthly pay.”
Derpy emptied her mail bag onto the counter, and a posh, sea green unicorn with a curled, pale mane, levitated the stack of letters off the counter, disappearing into a back room with a curt nod. In a few moments, he returned. The letters had vanished.  
“You’ll have to wait a few minutes. Love Letter’s in a meeting, and as you know, she has to approve the check before I can give it to you.”

Derpy nodded, taking a seat in one of the uncomfortable chairs that really served more for decoration than for actual furniture. She shifted uncomfortably as the silence overtook the large room, the only sound being the scratching of a pen as First Class filled out a form. Nervous, she looked up at Blue Skies every few seconds, stealing glances when he wasn’t paying attention.
I should say something...
No, no, NO. Do NOT be awkward. Just enjoy the silence.
But this is could be perfect opportunity to start a conversation…
No, this is the absolute worst opportunity to start a conversation. It would be painfully awkward. Silence is golden.
I should probably say something.

“So… picking up some stamps?”

Damn it...

Blue Skies looked up in surprise, brushing his pale gold forelock out of his eyes. He glanced to his left and right, as if checking to be sure Derpy was definitely talking to him. After a painful moment of silence— Derpy was convinced she was going to shrivel up and die right then and there— he responded. 
“Um, no, actually. Though, now that you mention it, that might be a good idea! Derpy, isn’t it?”

Derpy nodded eagerly, and the blue stallion gave a nervous chuckle that definitely did NOT make her blush.
“Well, actually I’m—”

First Class cleared his throat pointedly, glancing up for the form he had been reviewing. 
“Paperwork’s all good, just sign here please, and I’ll turn it in for you.”
Blue Skies quickly stood, trotting to the counter and jotting down a quick signature. 

“Love Letter will contact you at her nearest convenience. Have a nice day, sir.” 

The light blue pegasus nodded his thanks, then turned to shoot Derpy an apologetic smile. “Now that that’s taken care of, I really have to get going. I have a lot of work to do. Have a great day!” 

Derpy gave her best impression of a smile and nodded. “You too!” She couldn’t help but sigh as the golden eyed pegasus disappeared out the door. Well, that certainly hadn’t gone as planned. But on the bright side, at least she managed to start a conversation! That was a good first step. She was startled from her train of thought as a light pink earth pony emerged from her office. 
“Derpy?”

The pegasus in question scrambled to her feet, throwing a hasty salute at her employer. “Here, ma’am!”

The tall, lanky earth pony cocked an eyebrow, but made no comment. She held out a small, manilla envelope.  “I have your pay check here. Don’t forget to turn in your paperwork at the end of the month, okay?”

Derpy smiled, taking the envelope from the cherry maned mare. “Yes ma’am! Thank you very much!”

Turning on her heels, she hurried out the door, her empty mail bag significantly lighter. For a moment, she considered the pay check in her mouth. It was a sunday, and there were still a few hours of daylight left. She was going to go shopping.