> High School Shenanigans > by Melancholy Angel > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1: Monday Blues > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt Oh, no! It's here. The Monday Blues! Go away, you miserable clock! Maybe if I don't look it'll go away!. "Sorry, son! Mondays won't go away!," I could hear my mom calling from the door. " Get up and face it like a man!" "I'm not a man, maaaaa!" I groaned, "I'm a sleepy boy!" "If you don't get out of bed in five seconds, your father will water down the milk for your cereal!" Groaning, I forced myself to sit up and brought my legs to the side of my bed still with my eyes closed. Mondays, every teenager's arch-nemesis, have came and replaced Sunday. I smacked my lips, tasting the dry air before opening my eyes. Immediately, I was temporarily blinded by a ray of sunbeam, peeking through the gap of the curtains. Millions of kilometres away from Earth, and BAM! Perfect hit. I don't know how long that ray of sunlight had been peeking through the gap in the curtains before it found its way to my face; nor do I know how long it took me to become aware of it. I'd been dreaming that I was flying a plane, which is strange, because I never had any ambition to be a pilot. It felt great to be up there above the sunlit clouds, seeing the green countryside through the occasional gap. But that was minutes ago. I found myself fighting to ignore that errant sunbeam, and to get back to my dream, but the moment had passed. I heard my neighbour's SUV rolling down his drive, and somewhere a dog barked. "Here lies Sleep, so suddenly taken away from us by Alarm Clock" I rubbed my knuckles into my eyes to drive away the sleep and tried to remember what I had planned for today. Oh yeah, school. Number one cause of teenagers having Monday Blues. Bah, why can't they start the week on Tuesday instead? I dragged myself, literally, to the bathroom. After the morning rituals and a change of clothes, I was feeling better...but only slightly. Greeting my parents as I entered the kitchen, I found myself wondering what's for breakfast when my mom placed a bowl in front of me. I sighed. Oatmeal, my second arch-nemesis, is staring at me directly from the blue ceramic bowl that serves as his lair. I couldn't stand the taste of that thing, it's like drinking warm milk getting dumped with soggy biscuits. And if you leave it there waiting for it to cool off, you'll find a disgusting layer of skin that looks like a...a... It's disgusting, that's all I have to say. "Dad, is it always going to be this way? Will I always dread Mondays?" I sighed as I fooled around with the white goopy stuff with my spoon, not planning to eat any of it. "No son!" My dad looked up from his papers, "this Monday thing is something all teenagers go through! It's a part of adolescence. You'll outgrow it!" "Soon, I hope!" "Anyway, I hope you have been listening to your teacher, Dixon." My dad said. "Also, you're going to be late." "Late?" I raised an eyebrow. "How can I be late?" I said turning around to face the clock. "It's only..." "8:05 in the morning." My dad finished. "I'M GOING TO BE LATE!" I yelled as I rushed out of the kitchen leaving my breakfast uneaten. "Oh irony because I'd just said that a few seconds ago." "You're going to miss breakfast!" My mom called out from the kitchen. "I can hold out until lunch! See ya!" I waved goodbye as I burst out of the door. The bus was already long gone, and that means I had to run...all the way unless I could catch up with the bus. "Need me to drive?" My dad asked, still holding his coffee mug from the porch. "No thanks, besides you always drive slow!" "Suit yourself son! I just hope that you run as fast as you eat." He chuckled before walking back into the house. I took off immediately as if I was being chased by a tiger.(For a more realistic situation, the neighbour's Rottweiler, Butcher) I found myself jumping over fences and bushes and might have broke the law about trespassing into other people's home. "You whipper snappers! You ruined my petunias!" Old Man Jackal yelled as I went through his garden and trampled on his flowerbed. "Sorry!" I stared at my watch, 8:12. Oh shit, this ain't good. Really, who's the smart guy who decided to build the school on the other side of the neighbour hood? I would like to have a word with him. Leaping over fences, trashing into people's backyards, messing up people's gardenwork and even made a kid dropped his ice cream cone at one point. God, I feel so guilty about it. As I ran out of road at a T section, I realized that I could save a few minutes by cutting through the dense forest in front. Even though there was a big fence around it with a sign that says 'Private Property', I knew of a spot where I could enter from. Without thinking, I crawled through the hole and ran as fast as I could. There wasn't a lot of sunlight due to the trees blocking out most of it, it was still visible enough to see where I'm going. I might be trespassing on private property, but I hope that whoever owns the land could take it to heart. I'm sure he or she was a teenager once and had experienced the Monday Blues before. I stopped for a while in order to catch my breath, looking at my watch I saw that I might make it just in time. Phew! Taking this shortcut is the best idea I ever had! Then I heard the sounds of leaves rustling. Maybe not. I thought to myself as I slowly walked back away from the source of the sound. The same sound suddenly came again, this time from behind me. And before I knew it, something blue collided straight at me head on, sending the both of us flying into the air and I landed a few feet away on my bum. "H-hello?" I could hear a female talking. "A-are you alright?" "Nothing broken, thanks anyway." I opened my eyes to see the person who bumped into me. What I saw is something I wasn't expecting. "Oh...my...god." I gasped. Standing in front of me was a pony, but not the kind you see in farms. The kind that looked as if it came from a television show. In fact, she DID come from a television show. So here I am, in the middle of a dense forest, staring face to face with the blue pony that could only be the one and only Lunar Diarch, Princess Luna. "H-hello?" I fainted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I had no idea how long I was out for. When I opened my eyes, Princess Luna was standing there, staring at me with great interest. "I-I-I-bu-bu-wa-wa-wa-ta-ta-ta" I tried to say something but all that came out of my mouth were incomprehensible nonsense. “D-do you understand me?” She spoke. "Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma." "A-are you feeling alright? I-I didn't mean to harm you." I immediately shut my eyes and rubbed my temples Oh god oh god oh god, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm DREAMING! "This is just a dream, this is just a dream. Either that, I'm going insane." I said to myself, still closing my eyes. “I assure you that you’re not insane creature.” she said, “I’m just as real as you.” "No! Please stop talking!" Then a sudden realization hit me. "This is one of those camera tricks isn't it? I know where your cameras are!" I looked around me, trying to spot any hidden cameras in the surrounding. If this is the owner's idea for security, I said he done a great job at freaking everyone out. But there was no camers anywhere, either I'm hallucinating, or the blue pony in front of me is actually real. "I knew I shouldn't have skipped breakfast." "Breakfast sounds delightful." "What? Uggh, nevermind. I just need to get to school and pretend this never happened. What's the time now?" 8:16, I am officially late. "Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm late! I'm so late!" "Why are you getting so flustered?" Princess Luna asked. "Are you in a hurry?" "Yes, YES I'M IN A GODDAMN HURRY! I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL AND NOW I HAVE TO SIT IN DETENTION!" "School? Do you mean your place of learning? If so, I believe I can help you." "How can you help me? What are you going to do? Fly me there?" I said sarcastically. "How far is your destination?" "About 400 meters west from here...but seriously, how can you help?" "If I have knowledge of the distance of your destination, I can conjure a teleportation spell and get you there." "I see, but seriously, I don't think teleportation is going-" ZING! "to help..." I suddenly found myself in the hallway of my high school. Most of the time, the hallway is packed with students walking about. Luckily, there was no one to see my sudden appearance in the middle of the school hallway. Maybe what just happened is just some thought I've thought about when walking to school. Yeah! That's it! I was so into my own thoughts that I actually thought it was for real! Ha! "I still remain, young one. You have yet to tell me where I am and who you are" Ack! Did I just heard the voice of Princess Luna in my head? My thoughts are getting too rational! "You are not dreaming, I'm real." "Wait, if you're real...then...where are you?" I asked. "I'm behind you." I turned around and immediately saw Princess Luna, right behind me just as she said. "What are you doing here?!" "Please! You have to help me!" "Wait, wait, wait what!? Me?!" I exclaimed, not believing what I'd just heard. "Why?" “Because… I wish to return home…” Luna whimpered. her eyes starting to well up. I was in a dilemma at this point, part of me wanted to say no, but the other part of me told me to say yes as Princess Luna is in a new world that she has no knowledge of and there's no one to help her. Except me. And who knows what psycho she might meet on the street. "Fine...You can come with me..." I sighed. "But you need to change your form out here! Do you have any idea what will happen if you came in just like that?" "I think I know what you mean." Luna backed up a few steps and her horn started to glow. Her body then turned a white gradient before her form started to change from a pony into something that looked more and more human. When the light show is over, a beautiful young teenage girl, around my age or so with cerulean eyes and brown hair . Also, I immediately looked up...for obvious reasons. "No, no, no! That's not going to work at all! My parents aren't going to be too happy when I suddenly bring back home a girl and said she will be staying with us. Also, you can't come in just like that!" "Why not? My form is the same as yours." "One! Non-students can't enter classroom, and that means you. Two!...You're naked, outdoors, in public, public indecency, flashing, OH FOR PETE'S SAKE CHANGE BACK!" "You are hard to please." She said before turning back into her original form. "Thank you, now. Why don't you change into a hat? A blue one more preferably. It allows you to blend into the surroundings and wouldn't incur much attention." I suggested. "A hat? Well with my magic, I can most certainly try." She said before glowing white again, this time turning into a blue baseball cap. I picked it up and placed it on my head. "Well. Let's go in." I said as I opened the door to my classroom. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ RING!!! A lot happened in just 6 hours, Princess Luna knowing my name, knowing human educations and also hearing lame jokes.(I have to thanks Brandon for that one.) Anyway, as we walked out of the school compound, Luna began asking me questions that are more on human technology and stuff like that. "If you really want to, then I suppose you should prepare for a long talk." It was weird talking to a cap while walking at the same time. I got some weird looks from people as they past by a kid who is talking to noone apparently. The talk and walk back to my home went uninterrupted except for a few ocasions where Luna would suddenly shout what was that shiny metal cocoons(cars) and that giant metal bird(plane). A few minutes later, things were starting to get more and more familiar. At last, we came to a stop in front of my house. "Well here we are. My humble adore, please make yourself comfortable." "You are too kind Dixon, until I find a way back home. I shall be your humble guest." "Mom! I'm home!" I said as I step into the warm cozy indoors. "I have your lunch on the table, son!" My mom replied from the kitchen. "That's my mom. My dad wouldn't be here until he gets home from work." "Dixon? Who are you talking to?" "Just a friend on the phone mom!" I lied before turning towards Luna. "Listen, you might need to change your form around here or else my mom would think I'm crazy for talking to a hat!" "What form do you suggest of?" Luna asked. "I don't know... a cat? Wait! A cat!" I snapped my fingers. "Our family cat Tom has gone missing for a few days and I'm sure that no one would suspect a thing if he was to return!" "A cat? I suppose I could try, but how does he look like?" "He's a Siamese cat, with grey fur and brown eyes. About medium sized and his tail is 10 centimetres long. He also-" Before I could finish, Luna's horn had already begun to glow and her body started to shrink. Features of a cat started to ('grow'?) and when the light died down, Luna had transformed from a pony to a grey Siamese cat that my family had loved and known as Tom. "So how do I look?" This is going to be a loooooong day. > Chapter 3: A Cold Day (WARNING OUTDATED) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well shit, just a day past and I find myself knee deep in this huge amount of shit I'm in. It can't get any worse right? Right? (To be completely honest, I don't know.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today was Wednesday and Wednesday is my second favourite day of the week. Why? It's the middle of the week and everything will go downhill from that point on.(In a good way). I used to think that it was weird, but when you think about it more often, it is not really weird at all. Well today got off to a great start. I woke up half an hour earlier not because I feel like it. But because it was so FUCKING COLD! Shiver me timbers! Luna was partially to be blamed for this, she just took all the cover and buried herself under a huge mass of cloth and leaving me practically butt naked(not literally of course) in the cold! When I finally took the courage to get out of bed, I could see the reason now. It was snowing! When you add thin clothings and snow weather, it'll give you a temperature colder than the deepest pits of the ice age! "BRR!" I shivered as I walked into the bathroom and proceed with my morning rituals. Once I'm done, I got into my room and search for a nice thick jacket. I did find one eventually, but even when I put it on, I was still shivering. So I decided to take the most logical action for the cold weather. Get back in bed and try to sleep off the rest of the 23 minutes I have left before the alarm clock sounded off. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt Click! Nope, not a wink. I can't sleep even in the jacket and duvet since a particular pony keeps hogging all the duvet to herself. Sighing, I got off the bed again and changed into something warmer than just T-shirt and shorts. Luckily, my mom knows what to prepare for a cold weather like this, a nice hot cup of hot chocolate and 2 piece of toast spreaded with one of mankind's greatest invention greeted my eyes as I walked into the kitchen. It goes by many names but we all mostly know it as Nutella. Well, if there's one good thing that comes out of snow, that is school will be cancelled for the day. "YAHOO! SNOW!" "Calm down Dixon, It's not snowing hard enough for school to be cancelled!" Darn! I can feel my smile fading away instantaneously. "Don't look so gloomy! It might snow harder later for school to be cancelled." Maybe we can get an earlier dismissal today. I thought to myself as I savoured the last bite of the toast with the form of Jesus on it.(I wouldn't say God because his chocolate form is not Nutella) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pushing the door open quietly, I placed a warm glass of milk and a slice of Nutella toast on the desk next to my bed. Hmm... How should I wake her up today... The funny way or the normal way? Looking at the mountain before me, I smirked as I figured out how to wake her up. Grabbing hold on one end of the duvet, I pulled with all my strength and out plopped a blue alicorn on the floor with her rear high up in the air, as if she was doing yoga and failed. The impact from landing on the wooden floor shook up the princess and she glared daggers at me. I tried my best not to laugh. Obviously, I failed as I had abosolutly no control over my laugh factor. "AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "IT'S NOT FUNNY HUMAN!" She shouted. "I'M SO SORRY! YOU LOOK ABSOLUTLY HILARIOUS!" I wiped a tear from my eye as I started to go out of breath from laughing. Princess Luna got back up on her hooves and sat on the bed, looking at me disapprovingly. "And also, I got your breakfast here." I said as I passed her the toast. "And here's some milk too." Princess Luna looked at the toast and looked at it with great interest. "Is there a problem Princess?" "What is this? I have never seen this before." "What? Don't you have toast in Equestria?" "Oh no! What I meant is the substance upon the toast!" She said pointing to the Nutella spread on the toast. "Oh that! Don't worry Princess."I laughed. " That is just a...flavouring for the toast we use on Earth, it's similar to jam except it's not made from fruits. And I believe that you'll find the taste...some what...interesting." Luna raised an eyebrow and looked at me before looking back at the toast in front of her eyes before bringing it close to her mouth. She opens her mouth...bringing the toast closer... and closed her mouth... and chew... Immediately, Luna's eyes widen to the size of dining plates. A wave of emotion swept over her face, shock, joy, happiness, doubt, disbelief and etc etc blah blah blah. Before I stop you right there, what was your reaction when you tasted Nutella for the first time? To me, it was as if a unicorn jumped over a double rainbow while listening to all my favourite musicians collaborate on a song just for me while I unalive Justin Bieber from the face of the Earth. How about Luna's reaction to her first taste of Nutella? She.......*shudders*, watch this video. Double that, no TRIPLE that and you don't even get HALF as close to Luna's reaction to Nutella. I had to slap her, twice, just to get her back into reality. SLAP! SLAP! "Get a hold of yourself Princess!" I shook her shoulders, snapping her out of the "Nutella-effect". "Huh? Oh! I'm so sorry! I..." "DIXON! THE BUS IS HERE!" My mom shouted. "Hold your apology till later. We have to go now." ... And that's how I learnt not to give a goddess Nutella. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- And now, I'll be stuck here for the next 7 hours or so. In this place called school. First Period: History Hooray! Let's spend an hour of our life reading on somebody who's worm food for the last 50 years! Seriously, name a job that requires you to know history, because I can't. I'm bored out of my mind, sometime Luna had to wake me up because I almost fell asleep right then. Luna on the other hand wasn't bored at all, oh no. She was listening attentively to each and everyword the teacher was saying. AND I DO MEAN EACH AND EVERY WORD. Today's lesson is on the Industrial Revolution, a period in time where we started using machines in factories. The History teacher keeps rambling on and on and on. I wasn't learning anything! In fact! I could learn the exact same thing from Horrible History books and World History Crash Course on YouTube! Just like Homer Simpson once said," They pratcally raised themselves up with the Internet." Anyway, Luna was amazed by how humans uses the machine to their use. And with every lesson comes questions, and who did she pick to ask? Little o' me, how lucky. What do humans use to power those ma-shines? Where do they get their energy from? And how... And it goes on and on and on. Please let this be over soon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Second Period: English English Literature wasn't so much better either, we have to read ' The Great Gatsby' by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It's the story of a rich guy named Gatsby and his quixotic(creepy) passion for some girl named Daisy. It is considered a literary classic and now all of us have to read it, damn you F. Scott Fitzgerald. To be honest, it is a great book, with it's exploration of themes such as decadence, idealism, resistance to change, social upheaval, and excess. But seriously, there's a film based on this book that has been out for sometime now, and when 'picture speaks a thousand words', I think most of the students will watch the movie instead of reading the book. Human work of literature, for some reason, intrigued the curiousity of Princess Luna. Ha, I don't think they have something like this back in Equestria. Do they have their version of William Shakespeare? I wonder what his name would be in Equestria. (Not to be confused with Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Third Period: Math This is the first lesson in which Luna couldn't keep up with. Trigonometry, does anyone even use that? I know its used in astronomy and by mathematicans but seriously. How many of us are going to be astronauts or astronomers later in our life? Those numbers...my brain...it hurts... "My brain is going to hurt more if you don't shut up!" I whisphered. I need the concentration in doing the question Mr. Lawrence gave us to do. All I can think of is tangent 90... which is the same as divide by zero. Come on! Do we even need to know this? I don't like to brag but I'm sure that I can learn more by reading 'The Fiendish Angletron' in just ten minutes compared to listening to Mr. Laurence for an hour ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Forth Period: Lunch(Is lunch considered a period?) I don't trust the cafeteria food here, all of them are nothing else than overprocessed, bland food if you can even call them food that is. That's why I always bring my lunch from home. But I can't go into the cafeteria, unless I want Luna to be discovered by almost everybody in the school. So I have to sneak out behind the gym block so Luna and I can eat in peace without being spotted. "You know that you're not suppose to be here, if everyone were to see you, then the world would flip on it's axis and shit happens. So please don't say a word." Luna nodded as I brought out my paper bag, in it were a PB&J sandwich, an apple and a mint. Splitting the sandwich in two, I gave half of the sandwich to Luna while keeping the rest for myself. I am not going to repeat the same mistake of giving her all my food. "So, any ideas on how to get back to Equestria?" I asked. "I have yet to think of something as of now." "Try thinking of...well...where you were before all this happened. "As I said, I was standing on the castle balcony one moment then-" Suddenly, there was a ear shattering scream that nearly destroyed my eardrums. The both of us turned towards the direction of the scream to see a redheaded boy pointing his finger at...the both of us? Or maybe it's just Luna, or was it me? He was shaking his knees as if they were about to buckle. "W-w-w-what t-t-the f-f-....AHHHH!!!!!!" Then he ran away screaming for his life. The both of us looked at each other for a while before I muttered. "We're fucked." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the middle of the 5th period "Excuse me class! But the question I gave you to do are on the board, not outside the window!" The teacher snapped. The whole class can't help it, it's really coming down out there and the possibility of an early dismissal are getting larger and larger. Everyone is looking outside the window now, even Luna is looking out the window.(Actually, since she's stuck on my head, what I see will be the same as what she sees) "Please excuse this interruption!" Aha! The principal is on the PA! This could be it! "Due to the severe weather conditions, school will be dismissed at the end of this period." YAHOO! SNOW! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- RING!!! YES! The end of the period! Time to go home now! I grabbed by bag and got out into the school corridor just to see everyone, literally everyone, staring at me and saying stuff, about me I suppose. Why are we being stared at? I gave no reply to Luna, with so many people looking at us, replying to her might blow her cover and shit might happen. Giving no heed to the eyes, I walked on only to see the SAME redheaded boy talking to his friends. In case you did not notice, this redhead is the school's most popular boy who's a grades above me. The moment he saw me, he pointed me out and shouted. "YOU! H-H-HE'S GOT A HORSE IN THE SCHOOL! I KNOW BECAUSE i SAW IT!" "Luna, please don't judge me on what I'm about to do next." I whisphered What exactly are you doing to do to him Dixon? "I'm going to turn on my crazy switch and use my stoopid face." Umm... okay? This is a very old habit of mine, whenever someone is spreading rumors about me. I will debunked the rumor with my crazy speech which I learnt from the Internet. 95% of the time it solves the problem, but that came at a price too. Almost everyone in the school thinks that I'm stupid. Oh well, I'm not planing to show my genius to them anyway. "So!" I pranced over to him. "So I have a horse with me? Amirite?" I said in my most stupidest tone I have. "YES! AND DON'T YOU DENY IT!" "Oh!!!! And do you see this horse with me?" I rubbed my hands together. "N-N-NO! BUT YOU MUST HAVE HIDDEN IT!' "And would you tell me about this...horse?" "IT'S BLUE! THAT'S ALL I SAW!" "A blue horse?!" I laughed. "Where would there exist a blue horse?" "Y-Y-YOU HAVE IT!" "And next I suppose you'll say that it have wings like a pegasus!" I'm an alicorn! "Y-Y-YES! I SAW IT'S WINGS! YOU WERE GIVING IT A SANDWICH!" I crossed both my arms together and looked at him, now I got him. "Really? Wings? Of all the lies you tell, this is the most ridiculous claim I've ever heard in my life." "B-B-BUT!" "No 'buts', if you think that these people," *I pointed to the crowd that formed behind us* " are going to believe that you saw a fucking pegasus, you're wrong. Get your eyes checked boy, I wasn't with a horse. And you think I'm that stupid to bring a huge ass horse to high school? Grow up, please." I turned towards the exit and proceeded out, leaving him standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face. ... Outside the school compound, Luna said. Wow, I didn't know that you would be like that! "All to protect the Princess from being discovered your majesty." I should thank you for that. "Really now? Earlier, you were going to apologise to me and now you're thanking me? Don't mention it." I replied with an amused look on my face. "But yeah, if it wasn't for my acting, you would have been discovered and then shit happens." Could you please stop using that word? It's very uncouth of you "Sorry Princess, but old habits die hard." I laughed. "Well we should get going now." Yes, let's Well at least today went alot better than Monday and Tuesday, can't wait to see what Thurday would bring. > Chapter 4: Pushing Some Buttons > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "TERRORIST WINS!" The announcer boomed in my ears. "DAMNIT!" I yelled, slamming my headset down onto the table. "kith_9703, you better watch out." I grumbled when the name of my killer shows up on the screen. Grr... "ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO!" The signal for the next match has just sounded. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Come on...where are you terrorists?" I sighed as I stared down the scope of my rifle, looking around the map, ready to pull the trigger at the sight of an enemy. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a knife flicking and my character suddenly slumped over. "TITS!" I exclaimed when I realized that I've been knifed. "Dixon? Why are you yelling?" Luna suddenly popped up from behind me. "GAAH! DAMN IT LUNA! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" I yelled. Now I know what you might say now, "Isn't it risky for a pony princess to walk around my house where my mother could see her?" Well no, not exactly. Because when I returned home, my mom stepped out of the house to go shopping with Aunt Tiffany, and she wouldn't be home until an hour or two from now so what better ways to spend that time other than go and play some Counter Strike? "Just... Shut up okay? You're disturbing me." "What is it that you're doing that makes you so...agitated?" She asked while pointing her hoof to the monitor. "And what is this?" "This is a form of entertainment. This...is video game." "Video game?" "Umm...how do I explain this...umm... You see this black box here?" I pointed to my computer case. "That is a computer, an electronic brain capable of handling hundreds of thousands of calculations in a blink of an eye! This-" "Are you sure that this small box is a computer? I'm sure a ‘computer’ meant a massive machine that took up an entire castle chamber." "Remember, technology. Our technology are hundred of years ahead of yours so it's no surprise that we humans can make a box that's small like this and yet still have over one thousand the processing power of your computers back in Equestria. Don't touch it." "Now, video games are...well.." I tried to think of an explaination but my mind came up with a blank. "You know what? Fuck it, it would be easier just to show you. Follow me." I left the match, closed the game and shut down the computer. Then I proceed to lead Luna out of my room. Where I'm going is 2 doors down, first door on the right. "Where are we going?" "You'll see." When I reached the door, I slowly turned the doorknob and pushed. "This... Is the game room." This, is the game room, where all the fun begins and ends right in this small room. To there left is big flatscreen TV with a whole bunch of consoles(Too many to keep track) hooked up to it and two stereo speakers on each side. And to the right is 2 armchairs with a small table in between, in case if someone wants to do co-op. Or in this case, introducing somepony to video games. At the front of the room is a bookshelf and 2 big storage boxes, but they ain't no ordinary storage boxes. These boxes contains thousands of dollars worth of games, so many that my dad brought those boxes when he ran out of space on the bookshelf. You can say that my dad's obsessed with games just like his obsession with coffee, but to a much lesser degree. But that doesn't stops him from spending thousands of dollars on games! It was totally worth it though, I've spent my childhood here playing my N64 and Playstation(That startup scared me as a kid). But those aren't what I'm going to play today. In fact, I'm just seeing this as an opportunity to play a game that I wanted to play but haven't got the time to. (Or I'm distracted by other games) My target is in the second box, the one with the orange cover. I opened the box and began searching. "Now where did I...No not there...Umm...Oh where did that darn thing went off to?" "What are you searching for?" Luna asked as she sat down on one of the armchairs. "Ah! There it is!" I finally pulled out a limited edition copy of Grand Theft Auto V from the huge stash of games, still in it's plastic wrapping. Good as new. "Aha! Grand Theft Auto Five!" I held up the game box as if it was made of gold. Well it's worth like gold, IT'S LIMITED EDITION THAT COMES WITH A FRICKIN MAP OF SAN ANDREAS! "Five?" "It's the fifth in the series. Came out sometime ago I think." I explained. " It's a game where you're free to do anything you want to. And I do mean anything..." I handed Luna the controller while turning on the TV. Set it to HDMI 2 and the Playstation 3 boot up sequence flashed on the screen which was followed by a very powerful sound. After inserting the game disc into the console, I let it run by it's own. Rockstart Intro Followed by Rockstar North AND A GODDAMN 8GB INSTALL! It was like, 10 or 15 minutes before we could start the first mission. "So what do I do?" "See this?" I held up the controller, "This is used to input controls and commands for the character to do. It's designed for human hands but I guess that your magic can hold it just as good. Here, hold this." "Now...Let's get started." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Ludendorff, North Yankton, nine years ago. "Ludendorff?" Luna questioned. "It's the name of a city, somewhere to the north(you don't say?). I think." I replied. ~"Get down there!" Oh shit, first mission and we're already robbing a bank? HELL YES! ~"Alright everybody pays attention, no one gets hurt." ~"Aarrgh! Open the door! Or they'll get worse than hurt!" Every Grand Theft Auto should start off like this! Start off with a bank heist! Fuck yes! "Are we commiting a crime?!" Luna exclaimed. "This is wrong! Yet... it is exciting! No... calm down, Luna. It's only a game. Now what do I do?" "Read what's on the screen, on the top left corner of the TV. It'll give you instructions." "What kind of weapons are those? They don't look in any way frightening." She asked as she was instructed to aim at the hostage to make them move. "For a pony, yes. But to a human, that's the most scariest weapon in our course of history." "Why?" I kept silent. ~"All set. Phone it in." As Luna bring out the phone, she noticed the contact's name was "Detonate". "Detonate? That's a strange name." "It's not a name, it's umm... Just do what it tells you to do." After Luna phoned in the denotation, a cutscene played where the door of a safe was blown off it's hinges that made Luna jumped a little bit. Some intense music began to play as Luna entered the doors. When Luna entered the safe, I whistled as Michael placed the money in the bag. That's a whole lot of cash, must be worth millions. ~"Oh...There's enough here for all of us to enjoy!" "Is this particular person talking about the wad of papers? I'm afraid that I don't see any form of value in these." "We humans use paper to print our money, cheaper and faster unlike pressing small images of someone's head on coins." "I see..." $179,500? That's all? I expected more than that but money still money right? As Luna exited the safe, she was ambushed by a security guard. "What do I do!?" She exclaimed. "Follow the instructions, do what it says." As she changed to 'T'(Which is Trevor obviously), she was prompt to take out the guard holding Michael. When she pulled the trigger, she yelped as Trevor blow the head of the security guard clean off, killing him instantly. With wide eyes she dropped the controller, realizing what she had just done. She had taken her first life in Grand Theft Auto V. "Now this is why those people back there were so afraid when you point it at them." "What have I done!?" She exclaimed. "Its just a game! Relax Luna! It's not real!" I assured her, picking up the controller from the floor, I handed it back to her and said. "Now let's continue okay? We ain't got all day here you know." She took a deep breath before holding the controller back in her magical hold.(Someone really needs to give a specific term for this) As she looked upon the body of the security guard, she sighed. ""No... I did not mean to... Can I aid in any way? Surely there are health items to assist..." She looked around, seeing nothing that could function as health items. Well duh, even if she found one, she could only use them for herself and not the gaurd who was already dead! "No it appears not. I am sorry, but our plans must not delay. Forgive my transgression" With that, and she continued down the corridor of the bank to where Michael and Brad were waiting. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the shutter is drawing up, I snatched the controller away from Luna to which she yelled. "Hey!" "You have been playing for the last few minutes! I haven't got a turn yet!" As the trio exited the garage, I noticed the number of stars on the top right hand corner. 5 stars huh? Dis gon b gud "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS! HAHAHAHA!" I yelled as I took down cops after cops like a crazed psychopath.(Trevor is in someway a psychopath, he's just sitting on the fence between sane and psychotic. And he's leaning against the psychotic side of the fence. ~"Don't be as dumb as you look." ~"You just answered the wrong call!" ~"Blame the one who called you here!" I got to give it to Rockstar for this epic prologue mission. Puts you right into the action immeditately, this seems more like a scene from a movie than a video game! Holy shit. "Give it back!" Luna yelled as she tried to grab the controller back from me. "Don't disturb me! I'm playing here!" I pushed her away. When the car got hit by the train after taking a right, Luna did managed to snatch the controller from my hand. "HEY! I WAS PLAYING THAT!" I said as I reached out to grab the controller back. "Get away from me!" Luna yelled as she kicked me away while taking down another cop. "Take that you coltcuddler!" "It's my game system! I have every rights to stop you from playing my game!" I said as I reached out for the controller again, to which she replied by kicking me away. For a mare, she sure can kick really hard. Ouch... "WELL FINE! Let's see how much you suck!" I yelled as I shook my hand in pain. ~"FUCK YOU! Fuck you! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!" Trevor screamed as he fired upon the police. I sat back in my armchair looking sulky at Luna as she took down another officer. Now I know how my brother must have felt when we're hogging the controller when deciding on who was going to play Super Mario 64. Heh, I still remember those good o' days. How immature the both of us were back then. But I really expected more for a princess which is over a thousand years old! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ After the prologue mission, a cutscene was played where Michael's(fake) funeral was held. "Wait, isn't he dead?" Luna asked when she saw Michael observing 'his' funeral from a distance. "He faked his death, somehow." As the cutscene faded into black, the logo for Grand Theft Auto 5 faded on the screen before fading out again and bringing us to a cutscene with an older Michael Townley/De Santa now in a psychiatrist office. While Luna was distracted by the cutscene, I took this chance to go ahead and skip it. "Hey! I was watching that!" She yelled when the cutscene suddenly skipped to Lamar and Franklin. Then she raised her eyebrows and asked something that almost made me facepalm. "How did he became so tan so quickly?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Idiots! I am a princess and therefore am immune to your laws! Let me pass or it will not end well for you!" Luna yelled as she avoided colliding with a cop car later on in the mission. "It's just a game Luna! They don't care if you're a princess or not! Now get your ass out of there or else it would not end well FOR YOU!" "Oh no!" She exclaimed when she crashed into a tree, not sure on what to do. "Help me Dixon!" Sighing, I took the controller from her and reversed the vehicle before doing a wicked 180 and speed off in the other direction. "There you go! Pretty simple ain't it?" I said as I returned her the controller. "Thank you, I guess." She replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~"You are a racist and I don't like you, and I will not sell you this car. I will not." "You make my skin crawl you neo-nazi." "What's a neo-nazi?" Luna asked. Uh oh, I don't like explaining to her about the Nazis. "I don't know." I lied. ~"This racist insulted me..." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~" Ah, nigga don't hate me just because I'm beautiful, nigga." "Maybe if you got that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some bitches on yo dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fucking with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with." " Niggaaa ." "Nicker? Why would he call me that? Are you saying I am a laugh? Perhaps a laughingstock? I would like to shoot this person!" "No, you can't shoot this person. He's a friend, he's just addressing you as his friend. It's a friendly term for-" "DIXON! I'M HOME!" My mom called from downstairs. "SHIT! CODE RED! CODE RED! ABORT! ABORT! PANIC STATION! PANIC STATION!" I yelled as I switched off the power to the Playstation. I don't care if I'm losing any unsaved progress, I'm not suppose to be playing video games without my mother's permission! "Oh no! What should we do?" Luna got up from her seat and looked around nervously. "Do what you do everyday! Turn into a cat!" I yelled as I turned off the TV and put the remote back to it's original spot. With a flash, Luna turned into Tom and got out of the room quickly soon followed by me. "Hi mom! How are you?" I asked nervously from the stairs. "I'm fine Dixon, did you remember to do your homework?" My mom asked. "Yes I did." "Could you help me with these bags?" She pointed to the shopping bags around her feet. Oh. My. God. That's ALOT of shopping bags. Jesus, how much did she spent altogether? I'm going to pity my dad for her credit card bills, maybe I shouldn't, because he just got a raise recently. Welp, back to my old life then. > Chapter 5: Lucid Dreams > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hours had passed since that near miss with my mom and soon enough the sun was setting and she had already sent me to bed. (Hey, don't judge me. My mom still thinks I'm a little boy.) I guess the good part was that Luna and I were already in my room and ready to retire for the night, but before we decided to call it a day, I decided to brings op some of the days prior events "Luna, you really kicked their ass in Battlefield." I said, nodding my head in approval. "I cannot help it that they lack the so called 'skills' which they claimed prior to our competition." Luna replied smugly, waving off the compliment with a hoof. “I found it particularly entertaining that they were surprised at the fact that I was a mare.” “Yeah I remember that too.” I said shaking my head, “Even I wasn’t expecting you to rain death the way you did.” “They had it coming to them.” Luna said, “They were mere insects in need of being crushed.” "So, the fact that you can kill anything and anyone in this game doesn't disturb you abit?" I questioned. "Of course it disturbs me!” Luna answered in shock. “Never had I seen such rampant violence and destruction in over a thousand years!" "Well it’s kind of the world we live in.” I replied shrugging my shoulders, “Humanity has its flaws, greed, violence, hatred, but all and all I’d say we’re still a good bunch.” "Pardon?" "Oh, never mind." I looked around, trying to change the subject when I saw the quarter (or half) moon in the sky from my window. Aha! She saw the moon a few days ago and it was full. Since she never seen a moon in a different phase other than full, this might be a fun opportunity. "Hmm... why don't you take a look at the night sky? Tell me what you see." I said. When Luna took a look in the night sky, her eyes widen and her mouth opened in horror. "D-D-Dixon! Y-y-your moon!" She exclaimed. "It has been cut in half!" "The moon isn't cut in half Luna; it's still a full circle. It's just that we can't see half of it due to its phases." "Phases?" Luna asked with a cocked eyebrow, “Explain.” "I don't think you've seen the moon in any other shape other than full right?” I asked laughing to myself a bit; it was somewhat funny to think that a being who controls the moon didn’t know third grade astronomy. “Well our moon works very differently. There a five main phases in this cycle, new moon, crescent moon, quarter moon, gibbous moon and finally full moon. They are caused by the position between this planet, Earth, and the Sun. Part of the light from the Sun is blocked by Earth and the shadow it cast is on the Moon. To visualize this better, why don't we do an experiment?" I got up from my bed and took a football (the one where you actually use your foot to kick, not the one known as 'hand-egg') and a torch and turned off the lights. "Now stand here." I directed Luna to stand in the middle of the room. When she did so, I handed her the ball which she held in her magic. "Now pretend that you're this planet, and that ball in front of you is the Moon. You must keep the ball in front of your eyes at all times, you got that?" She nodded as I got to the other side of the room. "Now I'm going to be the Sun and I'll shine this light at you." I said as I turn on the torch, shining a flash on light in her face to which she squinted in reaction. "Now go and turn slowly on the spot while keeping the ball in front of you. What do you see?" "I see a crescent of light creeping around the part of the ball." She said as she continued turning to one side. "And?" "Half of it is being lit up!" Luna exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with joy. "Well actually, it's a quarter of the moon if you count the other unlit side of the ball. This is exactly what happens as the Moon orbits the Earth (or any other body orbits any other body): The Moon is always half-lit and half-shaded, but because of the movement of the Moon around the Earth, how much of the lit area we see changes due to our perspective." "Interesting..." Luna replied with a plotting grin. *YAWN* A loud yawn escaped my mouth. Jeez, how long did I spend explaining all that stuff to her? My eyes were starting to get tired and my energy level is dropping to zero as I speak. "Alright, it's really late now. I'm gonna get some sleep." I said wearily as I climbed back in bed, Luna followed suit in her cat guise at the end of my bed. "Alright then, good night Luna." I said throwing the covers over my head. "Good night to you too Dixon." I closed my eyes and awaited Dreamland to arrive. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "What the heck is this place?" I found myself in a LSD induced color hell with some music playing in the background that sounded like it came from SpongeBob Squarepants. Now imagine a kaleidoscope, but instead of the things that make the beautiful effect, there are fireworks explosions. And now imagine being inside it. Yeah, that's what I'm seeing back then. Even for my brain, which has seen a couple of totally weird shit back in the days, it's still a total mind-fuck seeing it. This could only mean one thing. "I must be dreaming!" Then a light bulb lit up, literally appearing from nowhere on the side of my head. I immediately made a smile that looks like this. "Lucid Dreaming!" I said as a yellow submarine flew across the horizon with a cow in a tutu dancing on it. Awesome this is it, I'm finally having a lucid dream after all these years! I've been waiting for one since... forever! Now I can see if this thing actually works! "Now I'll put lucid dreaming to the test." Everybody claims that during a lucid dream, you'll have complete control over your dreams, anything you want to can appear right out of the thin air. Anything you don't want can disappear into nothing. Now I'm going to test that theory. "Isaac!" Immediately, the Cunt appeared in front of me. "Yes?" He snorted. "DIE! DAMN YOU!" As soon as I'd said that, his head started to inflate as if it was a balloon. It was about the size of a wok before it popped and spilled blood everywhere, except for me of course. I have total control on my dream. This started to play as I made the exact same face a few seconds ago. Ohhhhh....I'm beginning to like this dream already! "Things to do in a lucid dream..."Kill Your Most Hated Enemy… Check!" I said as I strike off a line in my 'List of What to Do in A Lucid Dream" that I conjured out of nothing. Next on the list...ooh! "Go into a cave, find Gollum… steal The One Ring" Alright then! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "My precious..." "Man, screw you." I said as I blasted his head off with nothing but just pointing at him and saying these words. I never liked that son-of-a-bitch. "And add one ring to my treasure chest." I said as I dropped the ring into my magic pouch which I summoned out of nothing. Lucid dreaming rules! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Aha! Found you at last!" I yelled as I found Where's Waldo (Or Wally) is hiding. "Well done! You're the first to find me after all these years!" "Now go hide and let me find you again." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "You can't catch me po-pos!" I yelled as I sped down the streets of New York in my Ferrari LaFerrari. (That's a stupid name) I was simply too fast for those slowpokes! "Whoa! Watch the road you dumbass!" I yelled as I narrowly avoided a head-on collision with a taxi who was heading in my direction. "Jeez, where did you learn to drive?" Then from nowhere, a fighter jet suddenly flew over my vehicle before crashing into a building. "Where did you learn to fly?" I looked over my shoulders to see the wreckage of the plane before turning back. Big mistake… "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I crashed head on into a traffic pole and found myself crashing through the windshield and ascending up into the air. "I can fly…? Sweet!" I exclaimed as I shot up into the sky like a rocket. "It’s a bird! It’s a plane!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sometime later... This is getting boring, I'd tried and done almost every possible thing I could in a lucid dream, fly a plane, break every law on Earth, become Spiderman and release the Kraken. Now if there was something else I could do... I thought for a while but nope, my mind came up with a blank. Unless... "No, that's stupid. It's not possible...still." I...I can't decide, is it possible to travel into another dimension or another world in my dream? He said nothing is impossible in a lucid dream, no matter how crazy it is. True, I released the Kraken, broke every law on Earth and swing around a city with web and stuff. "Ah screw it, I'm gonna try it anyway." I pointed my finger in front of me and brought it upwards, creating a blue rift in the middle of the air. Meh, it was bland, no lightning, no gale force winds, no Kurt Russell but it will do… I stepped in front of the rift, touching it with my finger. The feeling was like a HUGE electrical shock running through your finger as if it was a piece of wire! I immediately brought back my finger at that point. Taking a deep breath, I took a running start and jumped... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Worst mistake I'd even made in my life (as of now). I felt a huge energy surge flowing through my body, well fuck this. I ain't going to be electrical roast! *poof* There! That should do the trick! With my mind, I summoned an electrical suit that allowed me to survive this ordeal, actually, I should survive this cause I can't die in my dreams right? Right? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ When I exited (being thrown out is a more appropriate term) from the rift, I landed in a white soft blanket of snow. Brushing the snow off myself, I looked around my surroundings to see nothing but snow, snow and more snow. Really? I thought going to another world or dimension is more exciting that this! Looking to my left, I saw a rundown log cabin a few kilometers away. Anything is better than being out in the snow I suppose. I waddled through the snow as I don't have snowshoes or anything else suitable for the weather. It took me quite a while, but I finally reached the porch of the house and I was about to open the door and enter when I heard some talking. "Dafuq?" I placed my ears to the wooden door and listened hard to any sound made. I could hear a very low and powerful voice filled with malice, speaking to someone apparently. "It has taken me forever princess... but now, you are MINE! To be my slave for eternity, to bend to my every beckon call...MUAHAHAHAHA!" Then I heard a very familiar female voice speaking. "You fiend! I demand that you release me! Least my savior comes and tears you asunder!" That sounds like...Luna??! My curiosity is getting stronger and stronger at this point; I quietly grabbed the doorknob and pushed it slightly ajar allowing me to see what was inside. The inside of the house was pitch black and impossible to see except for a beam of light shining at Luna, all tied and bound. Then a pair of green eyes with red pupils came into my view, a purple aura was seeping out from one corner of both eyes. Luckily, it wasn't looking at me but at Luna. Green eyes, red pupils and male voice? Yup, that perfectly fits the description of King Sombra. "Oh he'll never come princess! He'll never know of our hiding spot! In the meantime, why don't you help me...relieve some stress..." Uh-oh, I've read enough crappy fan-fics to know where it is going. "N-n-no!" "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU'VE VIOLATED MY MO- I MEAN, LUNA! NOW YOU SHALL PAY THE CONSEQUENCE!" I announced as I kicked the door open. And just in time! That fucker got his dirty hooves all over her! Just seeing this made my blood boil to a temperature that made the Sun's temperature looks cool compared to mine. "Dixon!” "Dixon!" The both of them cried out my name, one in surprise anger and the other in surprise joy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out which was which. "GRAA!!" Sombra leapt out instantly in an attempt to knock me over but I dodge him with ease and delivered an uppercut to his jaw as a counter. He tried to attack me once more but missed by a hair to which I gave him a blow to his stomach. "Take this!" *POW!* "And this!" *SMACK!* "And maybe this!" *BIFF!* "And sometimes...that!" *ZOK!* "And THIS because I feel like it!" *BONK!* I managed to knock Sombra down to the floor. Using this chance, I grabbed hold of one of his limbs and pulled. *SNAP!* "AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!" He screamed. "RETURN MY LEG BONE AT ONCE!" *SMACK!* "HEY!" *SMACK!* "HEY! DON'T HIT ME WITH IT!" “Not until you stop hitting yourself…” I replied with a dark grin. *WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK* *FINISH HIM!* Now I have a selection of finishing moves I can choose from...hmm... should I go with Fus Ro Dah or Pootis Pow? Or... I got it! I know exactly what finishing move I am going to use on him! I got into the bow stance position. Cupping my hands together, I brought them to my right side and focused all my ki into them. OH yeah... It's time to teach this so of a bitch a lesson he'll never forget. "Ka… me...." I focused my eyes onto the now battered and dazed King Sombra, still not having an idea on what was going on. "Ha… me......" I felt a huge buildup of energy in both my hands. Looking at them, I could see a blue sphere has formed in the cup, a sphere of pure energy. four hundred and twenty seven episodes later... "HA!" I thrust my hands forward and shoot out a streaming, powerful blue beam of energy, sending King Sombra through the roof and into the air. Staring at the hole in the roof which I'd just created, I pointed to the sky and warned. "The next time you try to get near her, I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING HORN AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOUR TONSILS WILL BE PLAYING MAGIC PUPPETS!" Turning towards Luna, now relieved that King Sombra has been blasted to who knows where; I untied her bounds and was immediately engulfed in bear hug from her. "Oh Dixon..." Luna moaned in a very sultry tone, "You managed to save me from that awful beast of a pony with my honor intact... how could I EVER repay you?" Well… shit ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Inside Dixon's mind, 2 Dixons, one with the nametag 'Conscience' and another with the nametag "Desire', were seen staring at a switch on the side of a wall. The switch was in the mid-position and was labeled "The Obvious Choice", it was waiting to be either turned on completely or turned off completely. "I say we turn it on!" Desire shouted. "I say we turn it off! It's wrong!" Conscience shouted. "Hey! He has been dreaming about this for years! Now he got his chance and you're not letting him have it? Why?" "WHY? It's wrong! That's why!" "And what is wrong about it?" "In every way possible!" The bickering would have gone on forever and not a single decision would have been made if not for another Dixon, now with the nametag 'Manager' walked in. "What are the both of you doing?!" He yelled." I didn't pay you to stand around, yelling at each other! What do you think I'm paying you for?" "You don't pay us." Conscience replied. "We don't even exist. We're just a clever textual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought." Desire continued. "Any more cracks like that and the both of you are outta here!" "NO PLEASE DON'T! I HAVE A WIFE AND THREE KIDS!" The both of them shouted. "Then make a choice! The Boss is expecting to receive this in a few minutes! Get back to work!" "On!" Desire shouted. "Off!" Conscience screamed back. The two continued to bicker between themselves for what seemed like hours, causing the ‘Manager’ to leave purely out of frustration. The two failed to notice their boss leaving because of their own convictions on the matter, they continued to debate amongst themselves, with ‘Conscience’ starting to gain the upper hand. That was until ‘Desire’ came up with the most brilliant scheme he had ever thought of. "I SAY WE TURN IT OFF OR ELSE!" Desire screamed. "WE TURN THIS SHIT ON AND THAT'S THAT!" Conscience screamed as he flipped the switch to the 'on' position. *click* Conscience was feeling very smug about himself until he realized that he done. "W-w-w-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" He screamed at Desire. "Hey! Don't blame me! You're the one who said to turn it on!" Desire replied, trying very hard not to laugh. "S-shit!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *bzzt* "Hmm? Oh, OH!" I regained my senses after losing them for some reason. My mind was made up. "Well... Now that you mentioned it…" *snap* Immediately, the surrounding changed into a room dimly lit by hundreds of candles. Luna looked around the room before turning her attention to me. I could tell by the half lidded eyes, lip-biting smile and additional swing in her hips with every step she took towards me that this was going to be something that I would thoroughly enjoy. This music began to play at this point. “Luna… I don’t know what to-“ Before I could finish Luna’s hoof was softly placed on my lips, forcing me to remain silent as her muzzle traveled from my jawline right up to my ear. "You don't need to say anything Dixon..." Luna whispered as her magic undid my belt "I already know the reward you deserve..." I made the same face I did at the start of my lucid dream...YESH! FUCK YOU SOCIETY! FUCK YOU CONSCIENCE! FUCK YOU ALL! HAHAHA! I closed my eyes and prepare for the awesomeness when I heard someone speaking. "Dixon? It's time to wake up why are you...BY MY SISTER'S BEARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME?!" "NOOOOOOOO!” I screamed as the dream began to fade away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I found myself wide awake on my bed, and Luna was looking at me, her face so flushed that it was purple. Whether it be from embarrassment from what she had seen or pure hatred I didn’t know, but no matter how angry she could be... I WAS EVEN MORE FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! "DAMN YOU I WAS HAVING A WONDERFUL LUCID DREAM! THEY'RE HARD TO GET, YOU KNOW?" I yelled. "AND I FINALLY GOT ONE! HOW DARE YOU! I'VE BEEN WAITING MY ENTIRE LIFE TO GET A LUCID DREAM!" “I DEMAND AN EXPLAINATION FOR SUCH A… A… THING!” Luna exclaimed grinding her teeth, “WHY WOULD YOU EVER-“ "I HATE YOU!" “As if you think that I don’t-“ "YOU ARE WORST THAN FEGELEIN!" “Who are you-“ "FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!" This is how you start off the morning, with a very awkward...thing. Alright, who let Desire win? Goddamn what's wrong with me... And did I really compared her to the Master of Antics? Jeez, what the fuck. "DIXON! I DEMAND AN EXPLAINATION THIS INSTANCE!" Luna exclaimed. "Alright, alright already! If you shout any louder, you'll wake up the entire household!" Great, this is how you start off the day, by pissing off the Night Princess. But that wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me today... > Chapter 6: The Two...Stooges? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- From eating breakfast to waiting for the bus to entering the classroom, Luna and I didn't talk much due to what happen that morning. Great job there brain, fan-fucking-tastic. Of all possible time to give me a lucid dream, you gave me one WHEN the Dream Mistress is staying with me, great job. Now she'll hate me forever. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homeroom When I entered the classroom, I was expecting to see Mr. Lawrence standing in front of the classroom, taking everybody's attendance. But instead, Mr. Reeve, the Spanish teacher, was in his place. "Ah! Dixon! I am surprised that you didn't bring any destruction to the school property on your way in." He said in an ominous tone when he noticed me entering. This was accompanied by a few snickers and giggles. Really? Does he have to bring that up? It happened so long ago and it wasn't my fault! It was an accident! "Actually, that's because I'm-" "Gay!" A voice from behind called out. Even without looking, I know that it's Brandon, the troublemaker and 'so-called' class clown. He's the most annoying person in the entire classroom, and possibly, the whole school. Next to the Three Stooges, he held the 2nd record for most detention hours in school for 'Inappropriate comments' the Principal would say. He also had this very childish voice that made him as if he was 10 years old. If people say that they're an adult trapped in a teens body, then Brandon would be a kid trapped in a teens body. "You know what Brandon…" I turned around and said. "Yesh? Titface?" "You smell." "Like garlic bread?" "No, like err..." I thought hard, trying to think of something worse than garlic bread. "Strawberries?" One of the girls answered randomly. An awkward silence filled the room, did she seriously just say that Brandon smelled like strawberries? Seriously? I didn’t get much time to contemplate on it however, the classroom door was suddenly kicked open and a student came in. Even thought he was late by a good 10 minutes, he still strolled to his desk casually and sat down as if he wasn't late at all. “Xavier?” Mr. Reeve said with a sigh. “May I please hear your ridiculous excuse for-" "Gee! Now that you menshioned it!" He then brought out a small laptop and began to type in some random stuff in it as he explained. "I jush recalled hacking the Source engine to recreate the events of the Great Depression in 1930s! It was simple, I jush had to access the directory fold-" "Wow, that sounds gayer than tits!" Brandon called out. "Titsh aren't gay noob." Xavier turned around and pointed at Brandon. "Please put your notebook away Xavier or I'll be forced to confiscate it. And Brandon?" MrReeve sighed. "Please stop making inappropriate comments from now on would you?" "Elmer?" Mr. Reeve said, looking at the attendance list. "I'm Elmuuuurrrrrrr." The weird kid in the class said. "Elmer J. Fapp!" "AHAHAHAHA! FAPP! HAHAHA! YOU'RE SO FUNNY! HAHAHA! No." Brandon broke into a fit of laughter for a while before acting slightly more mature, but only for a second. "Dixon?" "Here." I raised my hand. "Brandon?" "Brandon's not here! Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" "That's Brandon." I said pointing behind at Brandon, who is still making the annoying sound. "I figured just as much." Mr. Reeve sighed. Wow, Mr. Reeve must have got the worst job in the world. To face immature dumbasses everyday, it's a wonder why he hasn't quit yet. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Algebra Later, we found out that Mr. Lawrence called in sick today. We had a substitute teacher called Mr. Higgs. Brandon decided to give him the nickname, Mr. Tits. Ugh, the kind of immature stuff I have to deal with every day. "These sums remind me of my buddy Slim." A student commented. "Slim?" I said. "As in like Slim Jim?" Sorry, I had to do it. *Ba dum tss* "Dixon!" Brandon yelled. "You're not allowed to make jokes anymore!" "Says who?" "Sayz meh!" Brandon pointed at himself. "Ahem...Brandon?" Mr. Ti-I mean, Higgs called out. "Please keep your voice down. Others are trying to concentrate so please be considerate." "Whatever you say...Mr. Titts!” one of the most annoying sounds in the universe came out of his mouth right then as far as I could tell it was supposed to be a snicker. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey guys, the name's Xavier, AKA Xavier 3.10 on Steam and I'm a major leet hax!" "I leet hax'd your mom!" Brandon said when we were walking to our next class. "NO!" Xavier exclaimed. "My mom hash a firewall!" "If you understand the term 'L33T', then it's obvious that I past the firewall!" "You know what? I'm gonna leet hax you." Xavier then pulled out his phone and began typing in it. In a few minutes later, Brandon's phone began to play message notifications over and over again. "Dude! What the fuck?!" He exclaimed when he looked at his phone. "Stop it!" "Ever met such immature individuals like him before?" I whispered to Luna. She gave no reply. Oh yeah, she's still mad at me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- During Lunch... I gave Luna all my lunch in an attempt to calm her down, well I hoped it would calm her down. That's a peanut butter, Nutella and jam sandwich right there Princess Luna! "As I was saying, that ginger Alvin claimed that he saw a horse with Dixon! Can you believe that shit? A HORSE? AHAHAHAA! A FUCKING PEGASUS? WAHAHAHAAHA!" Brandon laughed hysterically when he finished. "Actually, there’s a difference between a ginger and a redhead. In fact, the difference is so obvious! That the only reason why someone would confuse the both of them together is because he’s-" "GAY!" "Like you!" I said pointing a finger at Brandon. He looked confused for a while before asking in a more normal tone. "How exactly am I gay?" "Because you always use the word every five seconds!" 1...2...3...4... "Gaaaay?" *facepalm* "I like crabcore." A random student declared. "What the hell is crabcore? Sounds like a name of a bad rock band." "It's when you get really down low, and strum a guitar at dick level." "Not if the dick's on your face!" Brandon flailed his arms about. "Vagina counts too." "Oh, okay." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Biology "Alright class, take out your notebook or a piece of paper as we're about to take notes for this lesson." "Oh, notes!" Brandon exclaimed. "HA! I thought you said nose! I mean like, who will take someone's nose that's kinda gay!" "And you're kinda bald." "So are you! Mr. Thompson!" Uh oh, Mr. Thompson doesn't like it when someone tells him about his receding hairline. It makes him all defensive about what's left of his hair for the rest of the class. "I have hair! See?SEE?!" He pointed to the back of his head." "Umm... that's called balding." "OKAY! BACK TO THE NOTES CLASS!" Mr. Thompson yelled. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spanish "So Dixon, do you know this one?" Mr. Reeve asked. Um, what? Oh crap, I wasn't paying attention! Think quick! "No, but I can tell you something you don't know!" "HE'S A PONYFAG! WAHAHAHAHAHA! WAHAHAHAHA!" Brandon suddenly yelled. "You're a furfag." I retaliated. "You're both fagsh!" Xavier yelled. "Oh, okay, sorry. WAHAHAHAAHA!" "Brandon, would you like a detention slip?" Mr. Reece asked. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- RING!!! School's over, and she's still giving me the cold shoulder! She must be really mad and is seriously pissed off at me. I have to find some way to calm her down...like...like a big jar of Nutella! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Really? A jar of Nutella? That's all I could think of? Might as well give her a 'I'm Sorry That I Dreamt of Fucking You" card? NO! WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN! What kind of ideas are you giving me? Think, think think! "Hey! Have you ever played the game Second Life?" Xavier asked. "More like No Life!" Brandon laughed. The verbal 'exchange' continued for what seems like forever even when I stepped out into the school parking lot. Am I the only one in this school with a sense of maturity? "As I was saying, I just-" Xavier stopped in his tracks and looked in front for a while before turning a 180 and ran off. "See ya suckers!" He said as he ran in the opposite direction. "What's his problem?" Brandon asked before looking in front and did the exact same thing. "Dude, what?" I asked. What the hell are they running away from? "Dixon, look!" Luna finally talked to me for the first time since the start of the school. I turned my head and then realized why. It was the Three Stooges again, well not three since Isaac wasn't around. But even without their leader, the Asshole and Dickhead were still intimidating by their own. They were waiting at the school entrance, no doubt waiting for me. Alright, you've pissed them off so time to find another exit. Just did what Xavier and Brandon did, pulled a 180 and walk away. I backed away from the two and turned around. Now I just need to walk away before one of them sees- "YOU!" Oh...shit. "RUN LIKE HELL!" I took off to my feet and ran as fast as I could. "HOLY DOG SHIT!" "You worship the excrement of a dog?" "NO! IT'S AN EXPRESSION FOR SHOCK AND SOME OTHER STUFF!" I said as I ran. I really need to get out more often; this is the third time this week that I'm running already! This is going to take a huge toil on my legs. My kneecaps will buckle if this keeps happening for the rest of the week! I ran into an alleyway hoping it will lead to a shortcut, I hope it is! Don't be a dead end, don't be a dead end, don't be a dead end please! Apparently, I might have a 75% chance of my prayers being answered. But I guess today just wasn't my luck, it was a dead end and I can hear the two closing in on me by the second. "We're fucked." Goodbye world, it was nice knowing ya. "SO! THERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I could hear the roar of the Asshole behind me. "You're a looooong way from Asia boy!" Richard cracked his knuckles. "H-hey! I assure you that I'm 100% American born! Maybe50%chinesebutwhatever. And don't go hating on people just because of their heritage!" I trembled. "A-and where's the Cu-I mean Isaac?" "Oh he's in the hospital getting his...vagina cleaned or some shit." "He had some stupid illness, so he ain't going to join us. So we decided, that we'll teach you a lesson from running away from us on Tuesday on his behalf!" "Well he can go fuck himself." I said unconsciously before covering my mouth with my hand. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!" "I TAKE THAT BACK!" I immediately exclaimed. "TOO FUCKING LATE, WE HEARD THAT! NO ONE TELLS THE BOSS TO GO FUCK HIMSELF!" "And if someone says that, we'll FUCK HIM UP!" I don't know if you can hear this Luna, but if you can, please help me. "After what happened at break of dawn, you still expect me to help you?" I'll do anything! Preen your wings! Brush your mane! Suck your- wait, that's wrong. Just help me! Pleeeease! "Hmm... fine. Put me in a location away from their eyes and I shall help you in your current predicament. " I took my cap off my head and put it behind my back, I could feel it turning into mist and flowing right out of my hand and down my leg. The dark blue coloured mist then slithered across the ground like a snake and appeared behind the duo silently. The mist then came together and Luna appeared behind the two, she lit up her horn and got ready. "Any last words DICK?" "Umm...Err..." As Jack was about to give me one of his famous knuckle sandwich, he immediately stopped in mid track and seemed to be staring at midair. When Richard noticed it, he immediately gave him a kick in his butt in an attempt to snap him out of it, but Jack still stood there, staring off into blank space. "REALLY?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! DO I HAVE TO DO THIS BY MYSELF?" He exclaimed. Looking at me, he sighed as he pulled up his sleeves and get ready to punch me while muttering under his breath about it being the last time he's eating a peanut butter and weed sandwich. "Say goodbye to your kneecap chucklehead!" He then swung his fist forward and I closed my eyes, bracing for the impact and the sound of my nose breaking. I waited...and waited... and waited... The impact never came. When I opened my eyes, Richard was just standing there with his fist just in front of my nose, a few centimetres closer and my nose would have been smashed to smithereens. He was just standing there as if he was posing as a sculpture for the greatest Dickhead on Earth. "What the heck?" I said as I noticed Luna wasn't where she was a few seconds ago. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard and Jack opened their eyes and found themselves standing in a surreal realm of nothingness, just like Squidward found himself in in the SpongeBob Squarepants episode, SB-129. "Dude, where the fuck are we?" Jack asked. "The fuck do I know? I remembered that we were about to give Dicks a good beating." "What the fuck is going on?" "What is going on…Why, it is just your worst NIGHTMARE!" A voice boomed. The duo looked around, searching for the source of the terrifying voice they just heard. "W-who said that?! I-I have a fist right here and I'm not afraid to use it!" "Uh-huh! H-he's not afraid to use it on you! W-whatever you are!" "SILENCE! You had tried to bring harm to my friend Dixon and for that, you shall be dealt with severely!" Immediately, the realm melted and the duo found themselves in a completely different place. The two looked around for a while before Richard screamed. "OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT IN THE UNHOLY NAME OF ASS IS THAT FUCKNESS!?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" Jack asked. "What do you mean by-" He saw what Richard was pointing at and froze. "NO! NOT THAT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! NOT THAT MONSTROSITY!" He screamed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile... I stared at what is supposed to be two of the most notorious school bullies in the world, now thrashing on the ground and screaming for their mommy. "NO! NOT HONEY BOO-BOO! NOT THAT!" Jack screamed. "NOT HER MOM! NOT THE DOUBLE CHIN! IT’S THE THING!" "Well that's some pretty embarrassing stuff right there. I didn't know you were afraid of Honey Boo-Boo, Jack." I remarked. "NO! NOT THE BOOTY WARRIOR! DON'T RUIN MY BUTT! DON'T RUIN MY BUTT!" "You can do this the easy way or it hard way. The choice is yours." Back in my mind, I could almost hear the war cry of the Booty Warrior from The Boondocks, "IMA WARRIOR!" You better not shout, you better not cry Bite on a pillow. He's going in dry "IT'S JUST A DREAM! IT'S JUST A DREAM! NO! NOT THE BEES! THEY'RE IN MY ASS! MY ASS! RAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" "You can say that Richard isn't," *puts on sunglasses* "beelieving it." YEEAAHHHHHH!!!!! "SPIDERS! SPIDERS! EEEEEE!!!!!!" Oh yeah, listening to Richard screaming like a baby is music to my ears. After all these time, these two assholes finally got what they richly deserved since the beginning. At the same time, remind me to never ever piss of Luna again, who knows what nightmares she could plant in my mind. Ugh. "Alright Luna, you can stop now." I said. The thrashing and screaming stopped immediately. Richard and Jack both opened their eyes in cold sweat and stared at me in horror. "Come on, I don't have all day." I taunted. "AAAAAARRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The two of them immediately got to their feet and ran off so fast; you'd think that they're being chased by a serial killer. "Well it was fun when it lasted, right Luna?" I asked, expecting Luna to show up in front of me. But instead, she showed up behind me and almost gave me a major heart attack. "Jesus, you got to stop appearing behind me all the time, you got that?" "You should have expected my arrival prior." "True, true." I agreed. Taking a deep breath, I asked. "Now will you please forgive me?" At first, the look in her eyes made me regret asking that. But the look eventually disappeared and she replied. "Only on one condition." "Yes, yes I know." I sighed, expecting this condition. "I will never, ever think or dream of you in such dirty manner from now." "How can I be assured that you will keep your words?" "I swear on my Burning Flames Team Captain that I'll keep this promise." I was trying to be sincere, but all it did was to give me a raised eyebrow from Luna which she didn't understand the meaning for. "Or in a more familiar term... Cross my heart and hope to fly" I said as I did the actions."Stick a cupcake in my eye. There! Is that enough?" "It would most certainly do. Now shall we return?" She said as she turned back into the cap. "Alright, let's go." I said as I placed the cap upon my head and walked out of the alleyway into the streets, heading for home. To quote the Soldier from TF2, I can definitely say that "Today is a good day!"...well...sort of. At least she ain't mad at me no more. > Chapter 7: Welcome To The Internet > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hmm... internet, internet, internet… Where should I go to next?" I sang staring at the blank Google page on my monitor, balancing myself on my left arm. I managed to gain access to the computer with permission from my mom under the pretext that I was finding something, which something? I don't know, maybe it's the newest gaming post on Kotaku, the latest tech news from Gizmodo or the newest fan fiction on FiMFiction. There isn't a fixed definition for this 'something', so one day this 'something' could be watching the latest FAIL compilation video to looking at YouTube gamers sucking at the game they're playing the next. However, today I'm stuck at the Google page unable to think of someplace to go to. "Dixon? What are you doing?" Luna asked from behind me. "What does it looks like I'm doing?" I grunted, turning my attention to her. "Well it seems that you're staring at that white window of yours with the word, Goooogle? I suppose?" She said trying to pronounce what she saw on the screen. "Pray tell, what does it mean?" "Why are you here anyway?" I asked, not before realizing that it was a very stupid question. My room is the only place where Luna could walk around freely without having the risk of getting discovered. I was actually trying to change the subject here. "I wish to play the 'Grand Theft Auto V' you had showed me yesterday." "Well we can't Princess," I replied, her reaction was a look of disappointment that no one in their right mind could argue with. "Hey! It's not that I don't want you to! It's because my mom's here and I need to get her permission, and I think she’d say no… since I'm already using the computer." "And even if she does give me permission to play." I continued. "I can't run the risk of letting you getting discovered." "Oh...." "Well..." I rubbed my chin, stroking a non-existent beard. Then a light bulb lit up inside my mind. "Tell you what." I said. "Just to please you, I shall allow you access into the Information Gold Mine!" Her ears perked up and she asked. "You have a gold mine?" "Not literally, I was actually referring to the Internet.” I explained pointing to the monitor. “It is a worldwide network that connects every computer like mine to others, sort of like a web." Luna then put one hoof to her chin while looking at one corner of her eye, thinking about what I'd just said and maybe trying to visualize a mental image of multiple black boxes conjoined together via a very large spider web. "Hello? Heeello?" I asked as I waved my hand in front of her, trying to get her attention. I then proceed to snap my fingers in front of her, breaking her train of thoughts. "Oh, sorry!" She said, "Now, would you show me this...gold mine you speak of?" "As you wish so my princess." I dug into my wardrobe as I said that. I have been saving this for a while and now is the time to use it! I took out a T-shirt with the most random image you can find on the Internet. "Now..." I said as I put on the shirt over my other shirt. "Welcome to the Internet, my dear…” I said, growing a toothy smile. “I shall be your guide." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It took some time for Luna to get used with the keyboard, especially since I found out that some of the letters in their alphabets are mirrored like some of the Russian script. But it doesn't takes a genius (or an Alicorn princess in this case) to understand it/ "Now, before entering the Internet, there are some things I have you warn you about." I warned. "There is a lot of content there, both good and bad. Some are appropriate while some are...well... inappropriate. In such case, I will warn you if you're about to go to such places. You got that?" "I guess so." "We shall start here, Google. Google is a search engine which will help you find what you are looking for like an animal, book or movie." I explained, "To visualise this much easier, think of the LARGEST library you can think of-." "The Royal Archive in the castle is the largest library in all of Equestria." Luna interrupted. "Make it a hundred times larger then. Now," I continued. "One day, you wish to find something but you can't possibly go through everything just to find it! What you'll need is someone who knows the library like the back of his hand or hoof to find it for you. This someone is Google." "What are you supposed to do here?" "You see this?" I pointed to the mouse on the mouse pad. "You use it to click on the blue rectangle." I said as I showed her the how to use the mouse and scroll. "What do you want to type in here?" "Hmm... How about you?" "I don't think I'm that famous to be featured on the Internet, yet." I said. "Why don't we try ‘Earth’?" "You mean the dirt beneath our hooves? I don't see anything interesting about it." "I mean this planet. It's called Earth, didn't I tell you that last night?" I explained as I typed Earth into the search bar. "Yeah, I know. Not the best name for a planet which is covered in 70% water. A more suitable name would have been Water or Aqua. Even if they have to give it a name related to earth, at least they should have called it Terra or Gaia. That sounded way cooler than plain old Earth." When Luna clicked on the 'Google Search' button after I've typed in Earth, about 361,000,000 results showed up in 0.35 seconds. (Hey, it was shown right there above the first result mind you) The images of the Blue Marble quickly caught the interest of Princess Luna. "So this is the planet you speak of? It looks very similar to my world." "All habitable planets have to be similar in one way or another, the universe has ways of doing everything. It could change depending on the chemicals and elements compositions in one of the three factors needed for life to substain, air, food and water. The planet must also be in the Goldilocks zone and..." I turned my head to Luna to which she was staring at me as if I was an alien from another dimension (Actually, I am to her.) Whoops. "I guess I got carried away for a while" I said, scratching my head. "Let's get back to the topic shall we? Okay! Earth, the third planet from the Sun, it is the densest and fifth-largest of the eight planets in the Solar System. It is also the largest of the Solar System's four terrestrial planets-" "Terrestrial planets?" "It means planets which are made of rocks or anything as long as you can stand on it. There is also gas giants which are planets made of nothing but gas. You can't stand on it." I explained. " It's only natural satellite is The Moon- God, why are we naming the moons of other planet cool names like Titan or Phobos while we give our own moon the boring name, Moon?" "I do have to admit, that is a sort of a bland name for your moon." Luna agreed. I was about to tell her about some alternate names which humans in the past has called the Moon before but when I remembered that one of those names was Luna, I ultimately thought against it. "Speaking of the moon. Did you know that we humans had put a man to there about 50 years ago?" I said, to which Princess Luna arched a lone brow in reaction. "Really?" she asked through clenched teeth, "I see that your legal system isn't that different from Equestrian then. My sister performed a similar feat one thousand years ago. Tell me, what crime did that poor soul commit?" "Crime? No!" I raised an eyebrow at her. "He went to the Moon knowingly!" "You went to the Moon...by choice?" Luna questioned. "Yup, it was a fierce race back then." "A… race?" "The Space Race, 50 years ago our country was in a heated race against another country to be the first to go beyond the skies and into the stars." I began to explain. "Initially, the other country gained a lead by sending the first satellite into space, the first dog into space and the first human into space. But that wasn't enough, the ultimate feat was to be the first to reach the Moon and both sides wanted to be the first." "Who won?" "I guess we did. Even though they got all these achievements first, our country managed to send the first man to the moon and back in a rocket. It was one of America's finest moments." I said proudly, standing in a victorious pose.(Gosh, if there's an American flag waving behind me as a backdrop with explosions, it would have 'MURICA written all over it) "You have achieved spaceflight? But I thought they were purely just science fiction!" "The idea of spaceflight to us is also a science fiction a few hundred years ago. But it became real!" "Interesting." She remarked. I continued showing her all the planets in the Solar System... well every planet except for one, for very obvious reasons. "Next stop, YouTube!" I said as I typed in the URL to YouTube, the universal Hub for wasted time, cat videos, movie trailers and other good stuff. I was about to press Enter when she cried out "Dixon! You forgot about that planet!" She said, pointing at Uranus. "Oh! Umm...That! Well..." I pretended to be surprised. "That planet is...is...um... *cough*Uranus." "Pardon?" "That planet's name is... *louder cough*Uranus." "You sounded like you were saying the name of that particular planet but I can't understand you with your coughing." "Fine! That planet's name is Uranus! There! Happy now?" I replied, slightly annoyed. "Excuse me?" Luna said, slightly ticked off. "Uranus, that's the planet's name." "Please speak clearly Dixon, I keep hearing as if that planet is named after someponies' posterior!" She said, cupping one of her ears with her hoof as if trying to listen more clearly. "That's the name of the planet, I kid you not. It's actually named Uranus." "Who would name a planet after their posterior?" Luna said, ticked off by what she just heard. "It was suppose to be named after the god of an ancient civilization, Ouranos. Somehow it got corrupted into Uranus. I knew as common sense that it is supposed to be pronounced as U-rain-us but immature minds hear it as Your-anus." "It's an unfortunate name for a planet." "Agreed. Now I'm sure you don't want to know more about a planet that's named after someone's posterior wouldn't you?" She nodded. "If so, then we shall continue to our next destination." YouTube, the name says it all.(Well not really). Cat videos, SFX shorts, bad music like 'Friday' and 'Chinese Food'.(Those two are a disgrace to the music industry.)I just have to make sure she doesn't stray too far from this side of YouTube and accidentally go into the weird side of Gmod videos by the Caesar of Craziness, AKA RubberFruit and those Smexual TF2 videos. Jesus, I'm ashamed of myself for laughing at mentally_defective_sniper_on_serious_cocaine_addictions.piss.mp4.ogg and psychically_unstable_merasmus_and_his_wacky_roommates.cornflakes. "What is this? This is different from what we have saw just now." "All I can say is this, welcome to the world's largest collection of cat videos and other stuff. Please keep to the rules and do not wander off." I said as I click on the search bar. "So what kind of video does the Moon Princess wants to see?" "Videos… as in movies?" She questioned. "If so, I don't see a projector of sort. Nor do I see rolls of film nearby." "To explain this to you in a simpler term, all videos and movies are contained in a very large box far far away. If someone wants to watch something, the magical magic of the Internet will bring what the person wants to watch and fly to him or her and voila!" Not really the best way to describe YouTube, I know. But that's all I can think of. "Does this...YouTube...contains videos about...your kind?" "Lots of 'em." "Videos about your history?" "A lot." "Videos about cats?" "Millions of 'em, what?" I questioned, "You want to watch those?" "Oh no!" Luna exclaimed. "I was just questioning about this...this..." "Webpage, or website." "Right, website." She continued. "I have no desire to watch any videos about felines. I was just asking." "So what do you want to watch?" I asked, for the second time. "Do you have any preference?" She asked. "Well, I watch Smosh, Vsauce, FreddieW and some others too." I listed out the channels which I'm subscribed to as I said. "Maybe I can show you something..." I said as I typed in 'Smosh' into the search bar. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -"Thanks for subscribing!" "I have to know what your powers are too!" "What are you doing?! What are you doing?! NO! NO! AAGH!" "Sweet! I got the ability to shoot milk out of my nipples!" After watching 'I HAVE KIRBY POWERS!' Luna just sat there jaw dropped, wide eyed and staring at the screen confused. That would probably one's reaction to Smosh if they have yet to understand the Internet. "W-what in Celestia did I just see!" she stuttered. "One of the world's most famous duos on YouTube." I chuckled. "You humans have a strange way of entertainment. First, you find fun in senseless murder. Next, you find humor in videos with multiple puns and jokes who I do not find funny." "Awww Come on!" I said. "Don't be such a party-pooper!" "A party-what?" "It's a term for someone who..." I explained letting out a deep sigh. (Hold on, the more I think about it, part pooper doesn't exactly fit the term here. A more suitable word is umm...err...wet blanket? No...Hmm, I forgot.) "Wanna watch another one?" I asked awkwardly. "Sure!" She replied enthusiastically. "I mean, yes." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- We watched a few more videos together, some were really weird and some very insulting to me (Dixon Cider. Seriously, what dafuq did I just watch! In fact, it was so bad that I quit the video after the first minute. WHY DID I EVEN CLICK ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?) We were about to click on another video when the doorbell rang. DING DONG! "WHAT WAS THAT!" Luna jumped. I can't blame her actually, my dad screwed up trying to fix the broken doorbell a few years ago. He did succeed in doing so, but not before making the doorbell louder than an air horn blowing into a megaphone. "It's a doorbell," I replied. "It means that someone is at the door, waiting to be answered." "I see...Are you going to answer that?" She asked. "Nah, my mom will answer it." I replied. "Most likely some door-to-door salesmen, or lost pizza guys." "What are pizzas?" She asked. I turned my head around to face her like one of those horror movie cliché where a doll will turn its head without moving it's body that is accompanied by creaking sounds. She have never heard of pizza? IMPOSSIBLE! Next to bacon, pizza is the most awesome food in the history of mankind! (Combine the two together and it'll be a match made in heaven) I made a mental note to myself to order pizza one day for her to try. I was about to open my mouth to speak when my mom called from downstairs, "Dixon! Answer the door for me please? I'm a little busy here!" "So... Are you going to answer that?" "Do I have a choice?" I sighed as I got up from the chair. Before leaving the room, I turned around and warned "While I'm away, do not. I repeat, DO NOT click on anything else. Got that?" DING DONG! "Dixon! Answer the door would you?" "Yes, yes. I'm coming downstairs." I said as I exited the room DING DONG! "I'm coming already! Jeez." I said as I went down the stairs DING DONG! "I said I'm coming already!" I said as I grabbed the doorknob. "Who is this? This better be-" I opened the door to see two men, one in his mid-forties with grey hair, plaid blue shirt, white trousers and black belt. The other is in his early twenties in a red jacket and jeans. Both of them were each carrying a book which I couldn't see the cover of. But even then, I knew what was going on. "Hello there!" The older man greeted in a British accent. The younger man held up his book, titled 'The Watchtower," and said something that I've always dreaded to hear since the dawn of time. (Or since I've seen them like a MILLION times already) "Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior-" "No." SLAM! (Oh silly Jehovah’s Witnesses… I’m not usually that rude to them, but you're interrupting me right now.) "Who was it Dixon?" My mom asked. "Just some people who were lost." I lied. "Oh, alright then." "I'll be returning to my room." I said as I climbed up the stairs, hoping that Luna didn't go and explore the Internet without my guidance. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, so maybe it could have been much worse. I found Luna staring at the Google Image Search page of her. Yes, she actually went and Googled herself on the Internet without my permission! Luckily, (AND OH THANK GOD LUCKILY!) SafeSearch was on and it was all just vectors of her. Phew! I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead. But I reckon that I was in for some explaining to do. If not, a LOT of explaining to do, I mean, things could get really messy!(Read that in Trevor's voice) "HOW?!" She exclaimed. "How does your kind have knowledge of my existence?! Does your kind have some kind of crystal ball that can see us?" I almost burst out laughing right there, I didn't expect her to think that we have some kind of crystal ball that could see into their world. (Actually, if the television counts, then yes maybe) "Actually... It's not like that..." I started to explain. By the time I finished, Luna was staring at me blankly, mouth wide, open eyes. Okay, now that I think of it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell her this. After all, it pretty much showed her that she was the product of someone’s imagination and...well. Things could get ugly. "So...I...I...am a figment of someone else's imagination?" "I'm afraid so." I shrugged my shoulders. She stood there for a while, staring into the air with a blank expression on her face before backing away from the computer slowly. "Umm...Princess? Are you alright?" I asked. Suddenly Luna fell onto my bed and started to cry uncontrollably. Now I knew it wasn’t a good idea to watch the show with Luna. I might have underestimated how devastated she would be, and just a few hours ago I told her that something from the T.V. couldn’t be real, that’s what probably ran through her mind. “Impossible…” she said between sobs, “You're lying...you're lying!” "Luna please…” I said, trying to console her, “It's alright...please-” "“HOW?!" She cried, "How can it be alright when I'm nothing but just a figment of your imagination!" "I...I don't know..." "Dixon? Are you alright?" My mom asked from the stairs, "I could have sworn that I heard you crying. Are you okay?" Then I heard footsteps and the creaking of the stairs which means she coming up! "Quick! Hide!" I exclaimed as Luna immediately jumped out of my bed and hid underneath it as she doesn't have enough time to change her form. And in nick of time! My mother entered the room immediately after Luna disappeared under the bed. "Dixon, are you feeling alright?" My mother asked, "I thought I'd heard you crying." "Nah, it's nothing. Just watching a video on YouTube where the character is crying." "Oh okay then, but Dixon," My mother said. "If you ever need someone to talk to you, you can always look for me understand?" I nodded my head and my mother went out of the room and closed the door behind her. Phew, that was a close call. Luna climbed out from under the bed, her eyes still red and puffy from crying. She was still upset about the fact that she was a figment of someone else's imagination. "Luna, I...Is there anything I can do for you?" "No..." She said, looking away from me. "Look here." I said, putting both hands on her shoulders, making her face me. "Don't worry, I'm here for you if you ever need me." I said, to which she gave a small smile. "What do clouds wear underneath their clothes?" I randomly said. "Why do clouds need to wear clothing for?-" "Thunderwear!" I said. At first, she looked at me with a look that says "I don't get it". I was about to slap myself in the face for using that joke. But a few seconds later, she realized the meaning in the name and began to giggle. I smiled in relief, I managed to take her mind off what was bothering her for the last few minutes. "Well, let's get back to the Internet." I smiled, spinning the chair around to face the computer. "There's a lot of funny things I have yet to show you." And so our adventure into the internet continued for the rest of the day until dinnertime, spaghetti with tomato sauce and mushrooms! My favourite! > Chapter 8: Pep Rally > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt "Dixon, it's time to get up." I heard someone spoke from the depth of my slumber. "Five more minutes mom..." I groaned. "Are you having your dreams about me again?!" The voice replied with a shocked tone. That's when it hit me that the one speaking to me was not my mom but was someone else instead. Immediately, I got up as fast as I could, almost hitting Luna's head and impaling myself on her horn as I did so.. "Of course not! I Pinkie Promised!" I said, waving my arms around trying to make a point. "Last night's dream has nothing to do with you!" It was true. Last night, I had this very crazy dream about fighting elves who were apprentices of the dark arts of dressing like crap. Lots of spells, magics, other fantasy shit and stuffs. Why do I even have that dream anyway? I don't even play any fantasy games or MMOs. "Are you speaking the truth?" Luna said, half believing me. "Luna, I Pinkie Promised. Now come on, we need to get ready for the day." I said as I got up and walked towards the bathroom. "Umm...when I mean we, I mostly meant me as...you know."I scratched my head when I realized that Luna had followed me to the bathroom. "Oh, I understand. I shall wait in your chambers." She said before walking out. When I was done with my morning rituals and walked down the stairs for breakfast, I realized that today's breakfast might create a problem. It's bacon and eggs... all are meat products...how could Luna eat this? "You okay son?" My dad asked. "You're not touching your food." "Oh, I'm fine! Just realized that I forgot something upstairs." "Well for the past few days, you have been behaving strangely. You took your breakfast upstairs about everyday which is unlike you." He said, scratching his chin and looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you hiding something from me?" "Oh! Err...Can't I just eat and study at the same time?" I replied nervously. "I suppose you can, but your mom said not to make a mess in your room." Luckily, eggs weren't such a problem after all. They put them in cakes, bread, and baked goods. But she wasn't too thrilled to realize that humans ate meat. "YOU ATE WHAT?!" "Shhsh! Shhsh! Be quite!" I held my finger to my mouth, darting my eyes to look at the door for a second before looking back at Luna. "You're sickening me, Dixon." "Pfft," I rolled my eyes. "My sharp canines and teeth aren't clear enough to see that I eat meat?" "I never had a chance to look at your teeth clearly, not that I wanted to anyway." She added quickly. "Well, at least you eat eggs. As in, come on! You put them in breads, cakes, cupcakes, all kinds of baked goods! Now eat up before it goes cold. And I hate cold food." "I am not touching the part where your meat has made contact with my eggs." "That's what she said." I looked in one corner of my eyes, smiling. "What?" "Nothing." A few minutes later at school... Homeroom Mr. Lawrence is here, thankfully. Unlike some of the teachers here, Mr. Lawrence actually acts like a teacher. He takes no craps, no nonsense and no dick jokes(I'm looking at Brandon for that one). He takes his job as a teacher very seriously. If I remember, most of the time when Brandon gets a detention slip, it's usually from Mr. Lawrence. "Tidus...Sally...Rick...Dixon...Rachel...and"He stopped for a while before sighing. "Brandon. Okay, looks like everyone's here. That's good." "Alright class!" Mr. Lawrence suddenly boomed. "There will be a pep rally today after school today, Remember to walk to the field and sit in the bleachers appropriately. And please cut down on those genitals jokes for a while okay Brandon? Brandon?" "That's when I posted that she looks ugly. And then, suddenly I got a whole load of butthurts shoved down my throat, and I was like "Seriously?" Because it's very dumb if you look at it from my point of view." "Ahem, Brandon. What did I just say?" "Umm what, Teach?" Brandon turned around immediately. "I said you should try to cut down on your so-called jokes. I wouldn't want a repeat of last month again." "Whatever you say teach!" Brandon said. But if I know him, he would only stop for like, at most 5 minutes, before reverting back to his old ways again. A leopard never change his spots. "What is a... pep rally?" Luna asked. “It's a sort of gathering before a sports event to encourage the school spirit and to support members of the team.” It was easier to communicate to Luna via thought, after all, she COULD read minds. I could 'talk' to her as much as I want to. But I shouldn't get to carried away of else the teacher might notice. Attendance taken, announcements given and correspondence distributed. Pretty soon, the bell for the second period was about to ring. I gathered my stuff and wait patiently. RING!!! The first to rush out of the classroom was the kid who sits closest to the door, but this may vary to either him or Brandon. Which is pretty impressive considering that he's sitting close to the back of the class. But still, Brandon ran out immediately after him as if someone have spiked his 'energy drink' (It's chocolate milk by the way) with ten dose of laxative and all the doors to the restrooms are locked. Or maybe he was running as if a tiger was eating him. "I do believe that you meant 'chasing him' Dixon. If he was being eaten by a tiger, then he wouldn't be able to run." Luna corrected. "Oh yeah...my mistake." History "The Industrial Revolution was an increase in production brought about by the use of machines and blah blah blah...It began in England in 1712, when Thomas Newcomen-" "Psst! Guys! Come! Teacher said the C word!" Brandon whispered. This was accompanied by a few sniggers and small laughs that made it's way to the teacher's ears. She stopped and turned around to look at who is making the noise. Immediately, Brandon and a few other who were laughing together with him stopped. "As I was saying..." She stopped for a second to look at Brandon. " Thomas Newcomen built the Newcomen steam engine that was later improved by James Watt which we now know today as the Watt steam engine. The improved steam engine allowed for blah blah blah..." "Steam engine...Thomas Newcomen...Watt...Zzzzz..." My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, I'm having trouble trying to keep them open. I should be paying attention to the lessonzzzzzzzz... "Dixon! Wake up!" Luna yelled, waking me up immediately. I almost dozed off during class. "Is it really that boring, Dixon?Luna asked. "I find your history very interesting. "I'm more of a science guy myself...and also, thanks for waking me up. If you didn't, the teacher would havezzzzz...." "WAKE UP!" Gah! Goddamn it, I should really try and stay awake! If the lessons weren't so boring, maybe I would have a much easier time staying awake. "We are now going to watch a documentary about the Industrial Revolution. While watching, remember to take down notes of what I had just taught you that appears in the video." The teacher instructed. For some reason after hearing that we're doing something other than listening to the teacher, the weight that was dragging my eyelids suddenly disappeared. It was as if my brain have decided to stop supplying me with melatonin. And that was a good thing, at last I could stay awake! Now if I can make this last for the rest of the school hour... Lunch I snuck around the gym block for a while, I was looking to see if the area was clear from any people around...and especially Alvin. To make sure, I even stuck a branch in the bushes to flush out anyone hiding. "No one so far, that good." Seeing that the coast is clear, I went ahead and sat down by the wall. Taking out the paper bag I brought from home, I took out a grilled cheese sandwich(which I gave half to Luna), an apple and a small juice box. Before I could take a bite from my half, I suddenly realized something. Why do we have to go for pep rally? Can't it be optional? Why must I go to an event that's characterized by loud, slutty cheerleaders with huge racks yelling at us to support our school's team. At the same time, a bunch of jocks, who looked like they had steroids for breakfast, went around acting like assholes yelling to the whole school about how they'll kick the other team's ass when in the end they get their asses handed to them on a silver plate, accompanied by loud and eardrum-rupturing techno or pop music that has been outdated since the 80s. CLICK! Suddenly, a bright flash came from the corner of my eye. No, it wasn't Luna turning back into a cap. When I looked in the direction where the flash came from, I saw a figure running away. From this distance, it was impossible to tell who the person was, but that person's redhead made it very easy to guess who. "Alvin..." I clenched my teeths. "What was that?" Luna asked. "It's Alvin...that mother a-hole..." I replied, still staring at the redheaded figure running away. Later... The clock was a few minutes close to three. I was hoping that today there would be a rain and pep rally would be cancelled, but no such luck. Even if it did rain, pep rally would only be held at a different location. "Attention, all students and teachers report to the bleachers outside on the field." The PA boomed. "Well you heard your principal. Get going!" The teacher said. When I got to the school field, I could see that almost everybody was here. There's the freshmen, there's the WoW playing nerds, the steroid powered jocks and the hotties. Everybody was here, even the Three Stooges. Oh, and there's also some overused rock music playing in the background too. "Hey guys! You want to skip this week's pep rally?" Brandon suggested. "Sure." "Yeah." "Fo'sho." "Yes." I said. "Dixon!" Luna shouted. Suddenly, Mr. Reeve walked over to us. "I hope you boys aren't planning on skipping this week's pep rally. Because there will be hall monitors guarding the exits." He said. "Oh shucks. "You don't see me skipping pep rallies, don't you, Mr. Reeve?" I said. "Well yes, I suppose. So I hope that you'll-HEY! STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY!" He suddenly exclaimed and rushed off to where a bunch of jocks were giving wedgies to a few unfortunate nerds who somehow got with them. "OKAY! The coast is clear! Let's get the hell outta here!" Brandon exclaimed. "What in the name of Jesus do you think your going!" The gym coach suddenly appeared and yelled at us before we could even take a step. "Nooothing?" "If you have nothing to do, you better sit down. So sit down. DOWN!" The gym teacher barked, to which we had no choice but to do so. Grumbling, we went to the bleachers and sat down. "Hey guys, did anyone see where Brandon went?" A kid asked a few minutes later. That's when I realized that Brandon wasn't at his seat. "If he's escaping and leaving us here. Who wants to visit the Christian cult at the back of our school?" A kid said. Xavier and a few others raised their hands up. "Hey guys! Down here!" We suddenly heard the voice of Brandon from below us. ""I found a secret path that can lead us outside!" "Alright, let's get out of here while we still can." I said. "Dixon!" Luna tried to protest. “Listen, pep rally is going to take up one hour of both our lifes. In one hour, you could either be stuck at a pep rally, or…” "Or what?" "We could be playing Grand Theft Auto 5 together." I gave her a sly smile. "I would not be that easily swayed by your video games." "How about being first to play?." "Hey faggolas! What are you waiting for? Christmas? Come on! Let's get out of here before the hall monitor finds us!" When we followed Brandon to his "secret path", we found out that it was just a hole in the fence the leads out of the field, not the school compound. It still does its job of leading us out from the prying eyes of the teachers and some of the hall monitors around. Within minutes, we found ourselves in the middle of the empty school corridor. "Where should we go next?" Brandon asked. "Gee, and I thought you know how to get out of here." I remarked. "The main door has hall monitors, Dick. You think we can just waltz outta here from the main door?" "Hall monitor 12 o'clock!" Xavier exclaimed, pointing in front of us. "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" "RUN!" I yelled, bolting to the left. Brandon went to the right while Xavier and a few others ran back the way they came from. Luckily, the hall monitor didn't went after me but instead went for Brandon. Good thing too, I'm not so good at running for an extended period of time. After a few twists and turns and up and down some stairs, I somehow managed to get out of the school building and ended up at the back of the school where the only thing separating us from our freedom is the fence surrounding the school compound. "Whoa, you're here sooner than I am. That's a first." Xavier ran up to me. "Where are the others?" I asked. "Some got caught while others chickened out. One *huff*, even ran to the toilet and hide there." He said, trying to catch his breath. "By the way, whesh Brandon?" "I don't know, the hall monitor went after him so he might get caught." "Caught, my ass!" Brandon suddenly called out, appearing from behind the tree on the other side of the fence. "How the..." "I'm faster than you slowpokes. Come on! Climb over this fence and we are outta here!" A few minutes later, the three of us were on the other side of the fence and out of the school compound. I can't believe it, we actually managed to sneak out of pep rally! "Hey Brandon, don't you have detention to serve?" "That? Who cares? I'm not wasting my Friday afternoon in some lame ass detention!" "Isn't that why you're serving detention?" But before we could move another step, someone jumped out from behind a bush and pointed at the three of us. It was Alvin, with a white baldric slung over his shoulders that says "HALL MONITOR". "AHA! GOTCHA NOW! Now you three have some detention to serve! AND YOU!" He yelled, stepping pointing at me. " I HAVE YOU NOW!" He proceed to take out his phone and showed everyone the picture he had taken at lunch. "Dude, seriously?" Brandon responded. "I know he's a ponyfag, but isn't it crazy to actually try and convince us that he's hiding a pony?" "Hey! Thatsh Princessh Moonbutt right there!" Xavier said immediately. "Shesh from My Little Pony!" "MOONBUTT?! How dare he..." “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill! Luna! Chill!” "How dare he address the princess with a name like this!” "XAVIER'S A PONY FAG!!!!" Brandon immediately exclaimed. "No I was not!" Xavier said. "I heard it from Dishon!"(I never told him about that) "If your picture shows a fictional character, it's fake!" "NO IT IS NOT! DON'T DENY IT LIKE LAST TIME! I TOOK IT TODAY DURING LUNCH!" "Character from a show, ish fake." Xavier agreed. "PHOTOSHOPPED!" Brandon yelled. "FAKE AND GAAAAAAAAY!" "But....but..." "Wait a minutes." I suddenly realized. "If we're not allowed outside school property, then why are you here?" When Alvin dazed out to think about what I said just now, the three of us used this brief moment to get away, fast. "SEE YA SUCKERS!" The three of us laughed as we ran on the pavement, out of sight from Alvin. When we got home, I was still trying not to laugh at what had happened. "Wow, that was fun." I laughed as I took out my keys to the front door. "I still couldn't believe that you avoided attending your ceremony just so you can play your video games." Luna said disapprovingly. "You're the one who said you want to play!" I replied as I opened the door. That's funny, there's no one in the house when I came home. The lights were off, curtains were drawn and windows were closed. That could only mean one thing... "Looks like my mom's not around again..." I smiled. "And you know what that means? Hmm?" I gave a sly smile to Luna. "GAME TIME!" I yelled as I threw my bag on the couch. I practically flew up the stairs with Luna right behind me. However, just before I could switch on the power to the console, I heard the doorbell rang. Immediately, I told Luna to stay put in the game room while I go check out who was at the door. Now who could that be? I wondered, I hope that it's not one of those Jehovah's Witnesses again. I was expecting to either see my mother, a lost pizza guy, another Jehovah's Witness or the mailman. But when I opened the door, I was immediately greeted by the sight of two people. Both of them were wearing a white shirt and jeans and had one of those very short hair cuts. The two were much tanner and had packed on more muscles since the last time I've seen them, which was a year ago. "Little bro!" The younger brother, (but still older than me) crushed me in a huge bear hug. "Ow ow ow! Watch the ribs Carl!" I cried. "Oh sorry, it's been a year since the both of us last seen you. And look at you!" Adam said, ruffling my hair, much to my annoyance. "You've grown taller!" "Cut it out Carl." The eldest brother, Adrian, said. "I thought you knew better than to tease our little brother. So what's up Dixs? How long has it been? 1 year?" He held out a fist to which I fist bumped him back. But then he opened up his palm sides way as if he wanted to shake hands. "Umm...What?" I asked, to which he facepalmed himself. "You forgotten already? Okay, it goes like this. Fistbump, slip slap, dap dap.." " Oh! Now I remember!" I said as I did the secret handshake that Adrian, Carl and I shared together. "Okay, enough of the family-catch-up and stuff! Why don't we go play some Grand Theft Auto 5? My fingers can't wait to hold on to a controller!" Carl broke us up and said. "You go do that, I have to put my stuff away first." Adrian said as he began walking up the stairs, followed closely by Carl quickly. "NO WAIT! AHhhh, shit!" I put both hands on each side of my face as I began the countdown to the inevitable . If I remembered correctly, it takes about 10 seconds to reach the game room from the bottom of the stairs. And 5 seconds has already passed. "5...4...3...2...1!" I bit my nails as I got to one, bracing myself for a scream or a shout or something. Then I heard two screams, one female and one male. "SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" "I'm fucked" > Chapter 9: It's a Secret to Everyone > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adrian Daryl Shephard and Carl Gregory Shephard, aged 22 and 20. They were two of the many service members sent to the Middle East to fight in the war there. To this day, I still remember how Mom made the both of them to contact the family at least once a month just to be sure that they're safe, even though the two are already adults. Still a child in my mother's eyes, I suppose. Come to think of it, I remember Mom saying something about the both of them returning soon a few months ago. Just my dumb luck it happens to be today. I do not wish for anybody to get the wrong idea, I love my brothers. We used to spend our childhood together playing the video games in the entertainment room and hide ‘n seek around the house. But try having two more people in the house to keep a secret from, especially if said secret is a living creature from another dimension. No wait, cross that out, because THEY ALREADY FOUND OUT ABOUT IT!!! Great job Dixon, you can't even stop your brothers from finding out about the world's biggest secret. Damn myself, I had one job! "I am so dead now..." I thought as I ran up the stairs, taking a left just to see Carl standing outside the room with mouth wide, jaws dropped. He was staring into the door blankly, as if his brains had been short-circuited and needed to be rebooted. "What's going on?" Adrian said as he jumped down the trapdoor that leads to the attic. "I heard a scream like a..." Adrian stopped when he saw what was Carl was staring at. "What the?!" "Doubly dead." "DIXON! HELP!" A scream suddenly came from into the room. Immediately, I ran into the room to see Luna crouching behind one of the chairs, holding a Playstation 3 controller in midair as if it was a weapon. "Who are they, Dixon!?" Luna cried when she saw me. "DIXS? HOW DID THAT...THING GET IN OUR HOUSE?" Carl yelled. "AND WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" "Don't ask me!" I put up my hands. "I still have trouble believing it at first!" "YOU MEAN YOU KNEW IT WAS HERE?!" Carl exclaimed. "Well it's not just knew..." I scratched the back of my head. "Dixon has been kind enough to provide me with a place to stay until we found a way back to my world." Luna finished for me. "YOU WHAT?!" Adrian yelled, which caused me to jump a little. Adrian was not one to raise his voice frequently, but when he did so, he yells even louder than Luna in Canterlot Voice "What were you thinking?!" "I can explain!" I said as cold sweat dripped from my forehead. "Oh you have a lot of explaining to do alright!" Carl yelled as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Suddenly, I was met with two different gaze from my brothers. One was of shock whole the other was a bizarre mix of anger and sheer confusion. "What were you thinking!? You just let a unicorn, in our house!?" Carl yelled. "Dixon, I'm not sure what exactly is going on but," Adrian sighed before looking at me straight into the eye with a stern look. "How did this start?" "W-well you see..." I began. Five minutes later… Adrian and Carl have been listening to my explanation for a while now. Carl began to look less angry and more interested in what I have to say while Adrian is still looking at me sternly. "Wait, what? That unicorn likes Nutella?" Carl interrupted when I explained about Tuesday. "She reacted to it just like you did when your RX7 came fresh from the dealership. Also, she's an alicorn, not a unicorn. You don't think unicorns have wings do you?" "An alley-what?" Adrian asked. "Alicorn." I corrected. "It was defined as the material that makes up the horn of a unicorn but recently, it became known as the name for winged unicorn." "Dude! It's a Pegacorn!" Carl shooked me. He looked as if he was going to burst out of excitement "Holy shit, did you know how AWESOME THIS IS!? " "S-stop, s-shaking, m-me!" I said, while feeling the blood in my brain going back and forth like a pirate ship ride. "Anyway, where was I again? Oh yeah, then the both of us..." Much later… "And that's how it all started. From start to... well, now." I concluded. Carl was now standing, stunned and speechless as he tries to comprehend the current situation while Adrian was leaning against a wall arms folded, still staring at me stoically. "Do you know what this means?" Carl suddenly gasped. "We are going to run out of Nutella?" "What? No! Well that could is a problem, but, shit. That'll means I can't mas-I mean, plant trees anymore!" "You already got a place of your own in Clay County, I'm sure you can plant all the trees you want, I had it worst than you do." I looked at him disapprovingly while chuckling at his term of "tree planting". "Oh really? Try me." Carl said disbelievingly. "Try being unable to search anymore Rule 34 of her." "Wait, so she's that Princess Luna that you've been searching R34 of?" Carl raised an eyebrow while folding his arms. "Man, you're fucked up. I may have some questionable sexual preference, but I wouldn't go as far as to search up stuff like that!" "What!? No!" I yelled, feeling my blood rushing to my face. "How did you-" "So you are saying that she's a princess? As in... royalty?" Adrian asked. "HOLY SHIT!" Carl's eye widen when he realized the meaning of 'princess'. " You kidnapped a princess!?" "What do you mean kidnap?!" I cried. "She came with me willingly!" "Anyway, the both of you are the only one who knows about this," I said. "What is said here must NEVER leave this room." "We're in the corridor." Adrian said. "Whatever! I'm just saying that if anyone of you should ever, EVER mention this to other people..." I turned to glare at Carl. "Let's just say that I will pour sugar water into someone's gas tank." "If you lay a finger on my car, I will mur-" "Alright, alright." Adrian interrupted. "We get it. Mum's the word." We stared at each other for a while after that, not even moving an inch. The awkward silence was only broken when Adrian spoke. "So, I think we should introduce ourselves then. Wouldn't want to get on the wrong hand with a royal." He said as he grabbed and turned the door knob on the door. "How dare thou strike thy princess! We should have you locked in the dungeons!" Luna shouted. I assume raging at being killed constantly in a mission. "She plays video games too?" Carl whispered. "I'm a bad influence." I admitted before turning to face Luna. "Umm, Luna? I have something to say..." I scratched the back of my head as I said this. "Oh Dixon! You're just in time to..." Her voice suddenly stopped when she turned around and saw my brothers. "Alright, here goes..." I thought to myself as I took a deep breath. "These two are my brothers, they are..." I turned around and took a quick look at them before turning back and continuing. "'Thrilled' to meet you." "This is Adrian, the eldest brother." I motioned Adrian to walk towards Luna which he did so reluctantly. " Adrian, this is Princess Luna, the Mare of the Night." "Charmed." Luna said as she put out a hoof. "Ermm...thanks?" Adrian said as he shook it, which caused Luna to look at him questionably. "What I do wrong?" "I'm thinking that you're supposed to bump it." I pointed out. "Oh." He said as he walked away. Carl looked as if he was going to explode from excitement, which is strange considering that he looks as if he was about to faint when he saw Luna for the first time. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! I still can't believe it! A fucking pegacorn! IN OUR HOUSE! This is better than that time I realized Bruce Willis was dead in The Sixth Sense from the beginning!-" "Ahem, introduction!" I cleared my throat. "Oh yeah, sorry. I'm Carl. Nice to meet you!" He said cheerfully as he fist bumped her. "Dixon, I need to ask you something." Adrian said. "How do you think that you- what the heck, WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN THE TV!?" "WHAT?!" Carl and I said simultaneously as we turned our head around to face the TV. True enough there was a smoking hole no bigger than the size of my head in the centre of the TV, it was hidden by the black wallpaper hence why none of us noticed it in the first place. "Who did this!? HOW?! There's no one in here except..." I stopped as I turned my eyes towards Luna suspiciously "Lulu." I said, stroking a non existence goatee. "WHAT?! How dare you accuse thy of..." She stopped when she realized the overwhelming amount of evidences against her, "Yes." Luna said as her head drooped a little. "This is ragequit on another scale." Carl whispered to Adrian. "Dad wouldn't be too happy when he finds out, that's a $20k 4K TV! He still has five months of installment for this thing! Crap! We're screwed!" I cried out. "Not me! I'm outta here!" Carl yelled as he ran out of the room. "YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" I screamed from the window as I saw Carl getting into his car. "She's your girl! Your problem! I'm outta here!" He yelled as he sped off in his yellow Mazda RX-7. "THAT SON OF A-" I stomped my foot as I cursed, "Arrgh!" Now I'm seriously considering pouring said sugar water into his gas tank. "W-what do we do about this?" Luna asked. "Could you use your magic to reverse the damage you've done?" Adrian said. "I-I can't!" Luna cried. "There's no spell that could revert an object back to the way it was!" "Darn! How do we hide it now?" "We'll just do it the old fashioned way." Adrian said as he pulled out a dirty towel covered in different coloured spots from under the one of the armchairs and cover the television with it. "And make sure Dad doesn't goes inside!" "Got it!" "DIXON? ARE YOU THERE? I'M HOME!" The both of us heard Mom calling from downstairs. "Oh crap. Now what do we do?!" I said. "Try to hide Luna! I'll go down and stall her!" Adrian said as he left the room, leaving only the two of us in the room. We both didn't say anything for a while. "That was... interesting." Luna said, breaking the silence. "True that," I said. "I thought the both of them are going to faint when they saw you!" "They're certainly not like you when we first met." Luna chuckled. "Yeah..." I said as I scratched the back of my head, remembering the first day where we met. " Tougher, stronger, smarter. Also better looking too..." "I think you look fine just the way you are." "R-really?" I looked up in surprise, looking at Luna. "Thanks." She smiled. "Psst! Hey, have you found a hiding spot for her yet?" Adrian whispered as his head popped into the door. "You know I can't stall her forever!" "Oh, yeah. Right!" I said as I stood up. "Luna, would you please?" "It would be my pleasure." She said as she started glowing white and shrink in the size until a cat appeared from where she was. "She could do that too?" Adrian asked in surprise. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, let's go." I motioned Cat-Luna to follow me out of the room. Today, I've learnt two very valuable lessons: One, when you have two brothers, never count on the second eldest to help you out. Two, always delete your browser history even if you're using the browser nobody ever uses. (AKA I.E.11) Also, note to self: Prepare a bowl of sugar water. > Chapter 10: Saturday Surprise > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Saturday is a day where most people would like to stay up late the previous night and sleep in on said day until it was around eleven or noon. I myself am no exception, but just my luck that it's my turn to do the grocery shopping for the day, and that really messes up my sleep cycle. "Rise and shine sleepyhead!" Carl yelled. "This week's your turn to do the grocery!" "Zzz..." I snored, "Five... more minutes..." "Yeah, right." I heard Carl saying before hearing him walk to one side of the room and… "HOLY CHEESUS MY EYES!" I yelled in response to the morning sunlight temporarily blinding my eyes when Carl quickly yanked opened the curtains. "You better get up before I drop a bucket of cold water on you." "Alright! Alright! I'm up, damn it!" I replied in annoyance as I got up, shooting Carl a dirty look. "Oh yeah, where's your pony friend?" Carl said, looking around. "Pony friend?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes. "Oh, Luna." I looked around my bed and noticed a Siamese cat sleeping on the foot of the bed. "Get up Luna, it's morning." I said as I used my hand to nudge her abit. "Tom? Dix, are your eyes okay?" Carl said in surprise. "How can you mistake Tom for that ponyyy..." His voice faded away when he saw Luna transform into a glowing orb before turning back to her original form. "Good morning Dixon!" She greeted with a smile. When she saw Carl in the same room however, the smile faded. "Good morning Carl." "She… could do that? Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be surprised if she could summon the Kra- Hey wait a sec, Why is she sleeping with you?" Carl asked suspiciously. "Well she couldn't exactly sleep on the couch." I rolled my eyes. "And the attic?" "No one would want to smell your dirty socks when they sleep either." "Alright, fine, whatever. Just don't get too frisky with each other, you hear? I wouldn't want to see her on top of you one morning." He sighed, which cause Luna and myself to blush furiously. Carl chuckled when he saw it, before leaving the room. “What shall we have for breakfast today?” Luna asked. "Well," I replied, stretching my arms. "Today's Saturday, so I'm guessing pancakes or toast. After that, Carl will be taking me to Walmart to do the grocery for the week." "But if you're away, what am I going to do?" Luna asked. "Who said anything about leaving you here?" I smiled. "You'll be coming along." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later: "Hurry up Dix! It's seven!" Carl yelled from the driveway. "Or else you'll be walking to Wally's World on your own!" "Alright already!" I said as I hopped on one foot while trying to put on a shoe. Carl was leaning against the door of his Mazda, having donned a shirt of his favourite band, Black Sabbath, With the same pair of jeans he was wearing yesterday. "Okay, time to go-" Carl said as he was about to enter the car when he noticed that I was not doing the same. "What now?" "Just waiting for somebody." I replied nonchalantly, leaning against his car. A few seconds later, a young girl around my age walked out of the front door. Well, trying not to fall while inadvertently moving forward was more like it. I guess I should've gave her some time to get used to walking on two feet. She was wearing a denim shirt and black pants with a pair of brown boots. But what struck me most wasn't what the girl wore, it was her features. And what a sight to behold! The fair pale complexion, the beautiful cerulean eyes, the luscious brown hair that seem to flow in the wind. A perfect sized firm bust, legs that go on for miles and miles. And most importantly... Dat Ass! "Hnnnnng!!!" It took me almost every single ounce of whatever willpower I had to pull my eyes away from her. And when I did so, I realized that Carl was looking at her the exact same way as I was. In fact, he was staring at her like a piece of meat, which is really creepy to be honest. "Hey, hey, HEY!" I yelled while giving him a punch in the shoulders. "Dude!" Carl said while putting his hands around my shoulders. "Who is that?! Do you have her number?!" "No numbers," I said, trying hard not to crack a smile. "But she does have an older sister." "WHAT?!" Carl exclaimed, suddenly turning around to face me. "A sister!? What’ her number!?" "Well, from what I'd read online." I said, putting a finger on my chin. " She can be found in the next universe." "Oh yeah, really funny Dixs. Come on, do you have her number?" "Dude, can't you tell that this pretty lady here is Princess Luna? She was upstairs with me twenty minutes ago." I rolled my eyes. "Whoa, seriously?" Carl's jaws dropped onto the ground. "She could turn into a human?" "You have raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly. Bravo." He said before opening the door and getting into his car. "Dixon, can we please go now?" Luna said, tugging at my shirt. "Your brother is acting strange." "I would only if I could." I replied. "Problem is, my car’s been unable to start up for the past few months, so Carl has to give us a lift in his car." Luna stared at me as if I had three eyes, before asking, "What is a car?" "No! Don't say the C word-" "A CAR?!" Carl broke out of his daydream and yelled in surprise. "You don't know what a car is?!" "Oh great, here we go again..." When around Carl, never, never, EVER mention cars. Being both an auto mechanic and a car junkie, he will never stop going on about how the Wankel rotary engine is the most reliable engine and how rear wheel drive is superior to front wheel drive. He'll keep going on and on like a broken tape recorder. Good lord, why didn't I foresee this coming sooner or later? "A car, or automobile, is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transporting passengers..." He began. "Fantastic job, Lulu." I said as I got in the back seats, "Now he'll never shut up." Luna just gave me a poker face as she got into the back seat and sat next to me. The back seat was one of the WORST seats I've ever sat on. This car was meant to be a 2 door coupe, damnit! It was not designed to have 4 seats! "Oh yeah, one more thing." Carl suddenly stopped in his car talk as he inserted the keys into the ignitions, "The suspensions are a bit softer than usual, so you two might get tossed around abit." "Buckle up! This is going to be a bumpy ride!" “Buckle up?” Luna asked, "I don't understand." "NOT YET! WAIT!" I yelled as I struggled with the seatbelt. "Here we go!" Carl shouted as he slammed his foot on the pedal, causing Luna and I to get pushed back into our seats by the sudden acceleration. "Oh shit" The distinct sound of a rotary twin turbo could be heard as a yellow Mazda RX-7 sped down the road at speeds that were way above the limits. The driver himself gave no heed to speed bumps and loves to go all out finding each one and speeding over it as if it was a pebble on the road, causing the two occupants in the back to smash their heads against the roof as it shoots over the obstacle. Anyone looking would either call the cops about a maniac driver terrorizing the streets or will never drive again as long as that yellow blob is still running. "A-are you sure we should be moving that fast?" Luna asked as she held her seat belt tightly since that was the only thing she could hold on to. "Relax," Carl said. "I'm a good driver, sure as hell wouldn't get into any accidents or the sort." "How the heck did you get your license?!" I yelled as I held on for dear life, to which he replied by giving a laugh. "It's just a little speed, try to get used to it." Carl laughed, "Oh yeah, almost forgot to turn on the music player!" Carl suddenly said as he pressed the button of the music player, filling the car with some sort of disco techno music. "What kind of music is this?" Luna asked. "I've never heard anything like it before." "Personal favourite." Carl replied. "It's called Eurobeat." "Oh God, you shouldn't be listening to this while driving." I said. "Why not? It's upbeat, awesome, and gets you really pumped up!" I grabbed onto my seatbelt even tighter than before. Anyone who sits shotgun or in the backseat when Carl is driving would know that his driving style is affected by the type of music being played on the music player or on his iPod. If it's slower paced or light composition like jazz or classic, his driving style would slow down to fit the pace of the music. But if it's fast paced or heavy music like rock, dupstep et cetera, you'll wish you'd written your Will before stepping into the monster machine known as the FD3S, personally tuned by Carl himself. Eurobeat itself is defined by Wikipedia as: A form of Hi-NRG-driven Italo disco music typified by a fast tempo, staccato hi-hat rhythms, reverberated "intense" vocals blah blah blah blah blah. In short, both Luna and I are fucked. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- VROOOM! SCREECH! Thanks to my brother's crazy driving and the Eurobeat music about no one sleeping in Tokyo, we managed to get to Wally's World in record time. If it weren't for the seatbelts, I would've gotten thrown out of the window when Carl suddenly stopped. "Here we are! Wally's World!" Carl announced as he screeched to a halt directly outside of Wal-Mart. "I told you I'll get you two there safely!" "Aggghhh..." Both Luna and I mumbled. My head was spinning like a top and my eyeballs are doing the Shimmy by themselves. I was trying hard not to violently expel the contents of my stomach. Even so, I could feel butterflies in there. Dead butterflies, as they’re hitting the bottom of the pit, and I'm sure Luna felt the same way as well. "You okay?" Carl asked, turning around. "After hitting my head multiple times and going around corners at killing speed while inside a car with loose suspensions," I replied. "I think I'm alright. Lemme check, am I dead yet?" "Heh. Oh, Dixon." Carl laughed. "Years of driving you to and from school and you're still not used to a little speed? No wonder not a single girl would like you." Luna looked at me disapprovingly and said, "A little, he said," to which I replied by shrugging my shoulders. "Anyway," I continued. "Adrian has been the one driving me to school in his Savanna since Junior High. And he's a way better driver than you." "Alright, fine. Whatever, here's the money and the list of groceries- wait," Carl said, taking back the long piece of paper from my hands before taking out a small pen from the glovebox and began writing at the back of it before handing it back, "There. Here you go!" "Thaaanks," I said disapprovingly while taking one of Luna's hand to help her get out of the vehicle. "I'll be back in an hour and a half. Don't be late." Carl warned before zooming away, leaving us at the entrance. "Alright Luna, stay close to me. This is a huge place and you could easily get lost in here," I said as the both of us walked towards the entrance. Luna suddenly jumped back when the door opened without her touching it, "How did it know that I was coming?" "Magic." I replied quickly before snorting twice. "But I thought you said your world-" "It's technology, duh." I rolled my eyes, much to Luna's annoyance. "Now are we staying out here for an hour and a half or are we going in?" After walking past the confused doorman, we went around the supermarket, starting with the first few items on the list. Having done this since I was 14, it was easy. I think we could've been a lot quicker, though, if Luna didn't decide to stop every now and then to look at the electronics and gadgets in the electronics section. The list itself was pretty simple: Get some potatoes, some scallions, a stalk of leek, a pound of rice, some pasta, blah blah blah. Luna wasn't pleased when I took her to the deli to get some bacon and cold cuts. I thought I saw her looking like she was about to puke at the sight of raw meat but either she managed to hold her breakfast in or that was just my imagination. "Beans, check. Pasta sauce, check. Cucumber, check," I checked off the items that were in the cart while Luna pushed it. "Bacon, check. Vaseline, check. Condoms, not check- wait what?" I choked as I reach the bottom of the list. The word 'Condom' was written on the bottom using black ink, no doubt that was what Carl wrote before driving off. "That bastard..." I silently cursed, not doubt trying to embarrass me and Luna. No way I'm going to fall for that! "What's wrong?" Luna asked, stopping the cart. "Nothing," I quickly replied while putting the slip of paper back into my pocket. The both of us continued walking down the aisle while looking around until a personal favourite section of mine caught my eye. The video game section. "Hey, hey, hey. Stop here, follow me." I tapped Luna's shoulder while pointing out the video game section a stone throw away from us. Like a kid in a candy store, I found myself scanning through each video game box one by one. Problem is, most of the games were...well, mediocre to say the least. Child Online Daycare? Played that. Battlefield 4? Not now until EA get their shit fixed. Overhyped Sellout Lens Flare Dubstep War Zombie 4 HD? They'll release Dubstep War Zombie 5 HD next year. "Well that was a waste of my time. Come on Luna, let's go." I sighed as I took a Steam Wallet Card and began heading back to the cart. "Luna?" "Dixon, what about this?" Luna said as she held a copy of Just Dance 2014 in her hands. "This seems interesting." "That's a dancing game, it's built for humans only. Are you sure you could even play that?" I replied. Luna folded her arms while looking at me, which was when I realized my stupidity. "Oh, yeah...you could change, oh well. Fine." I sighed as Luna happily put the game in the cart. I just hope that she wouldn't actually play that, because guess who has two left feet? Yours truly. "Okay, now that we have what we need, let's go and checkou- Oh what now?!" I exclaimed when I saw Luna suddenly running off to the aisle next to us. She did eventually return, but not without holding a box in her hand. "Can we buy this? Please?" Luna said energetically. I took a closer look at what she was holding, it was a box of MoonPie™, chocolate flavour, marshmallow filling and stuff. "Sorry, but no." I replied, "You got your game already." "But it's my favourite! Please?" She pleaded with me, to which I replied by simply continuing to push the cart. Luna suddenly ran in front of me, stopping the cart. "What do you want-" Suddenly, Luna gave me a look that I will never forget for the rest of my life. Her bottom lip was protruding out, her eyes started to water as she held the box in a pleading position with her eyes doubling in sizes. "Oh no, don't you dare look at me with those eyes miss." I said sternly, but she kept looking at me with those cute puppy eyes while saying "Please?" in a tone that sounds as if she was about to cry. That was when I realized that people were staring at the both of us. To our eyes, it's a simple issue of buying a box of MoonPies like how a child would want a candy bar at the supermarket, but to theirs, I look like an unreasonable boyfriend who wouldn't even allow his girlfriend to buy just a box of MoonPie. In order not to get anymore attentions, I have no choice but to surrender to those eyes. "Oh fine, fine, fine. Just stop with your puppy eyes already!" I exclaimed in defeat, to which Luna's expression took a 180 degree change. Her sad puppy eyes were gone and a huge grin now hung on her face so wide, you could even see her pearl white teeths reflecting the lighting. "But one box. Just one!" I warned, Luna nodded her head happily as I took the box and placed it inside the cart. I can't wait to get out of here and back home watching television. Making our way to the checkout aisles, I sighed in relief as there wasn't a lot of people in line. After pushing the cart to the shortest line, all we had to do was wait. Cue waiting music It didn't take too long, actually. There was only 4 carts ahead of us, so all we just have to wait for 10 minutes or so. I started to think that this might go smoothly, but clearly I wasn't thinking when I transferred the items from the cart to the counter. Why? The first 3 items that I've placed were: A small bottle of lubricant , a cucumber and a few rolls of toilet paper... By themselves, none of these 3 items would make anyone raise an eye on their usage by the buyer, but when combined with the 2 other items. Lubricant + toilet paper and cucumber, go connect the dots here. I didn't even notice the order of the items that I've placed until the cashier gave me a questionable look until she noticed Luna standing close beside me and... thinks she understands but got the wrong idea in fact. "妈的。" I cursed silently. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the both of us walked outside with our hands full of groceries (Well actually, I was the one who was carrying the groceries while Luna just stood there and looked pretty), I was sort of expecting to see Carl waiting outside his car. Don't be ridiculous, when was Carl ever punctual for anything except his dates? The time on my watch was 8:45 AM, a whole 15 minutes late. Most of the time I wouldn't care about him being late but with what seems like two tons of groceries in my hands, I wished he could be faster. "Dixon, what is the time now?" Luna asked. "Eight forty-seven, he's seventeen minutes late." I grumbled, looking up from my watch to try and catch a glimpse of a yellow Mazda with a custom spoiler and a hot-headed young man in the driver's seat. Oh well, I could wait. It's not like I had anything important happening today. I mean, what could possibly go wrong by just standing and waiting here? "Dixon! It's them!" Luna suddenly gasped and pointed to my right. Immediately as I turned my head, my face made sudden contact with a large and hairy fist, sending both the bags and I to the ground which caused Luna to yelp in surprise. I turned my head up to look at my assailants while holding my battered nose in pain. "Herro...Dick!" Isaac sarcastically greeted in a mocking accent. > Chapter 11: The Fight > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sweet Jesus......" I groaned. "What's the matter baby? Too much of a pussy to take a little punch?" Jack said as the three of them burst into a fit of hysterical laughter before kicking me in the guts when I'm down. From one corner of my eye, I could see Luna standing there completely horrified, covering her mouth to prevent herself from screaming out loud. I tried to get up before anyone of the three could kick me again but Isaac immediately gave me a swift kick right in the face when he noticed, sending me rolling a few feet away. Luna gasped when she saw me. With the distinctive smell of metal in my nostrils, I could see why. "Dixon!" Luna cried as she knelt in front of me. "Are you alright?" "Don't worry, I'm fine." I replied as I struggled to get back on my feet, still dizzy from the kick. "Just a scratch." "You're bleeding!" "Trust me, I've been worst off." I said, pushing Luna's hand away gently as she tried to touch my face. Isaac and his lackeys started strolling towards me, however he wasn't focusing on me. Instead, he was focusing at Luna and something told me they weren't there just to say hi. "So, what is someone so beautiful hanging out with Dickless? You should dumb that loser and hang out with the cool guys." And he finished that by kicking me right in the stomach. "H-he's not a loser! H-he's a kind human!" Luna said, backing off. "He's a sub-human piece of shit. Come on, join us! It would be fun!" Jack grabbed Luna by her wrist. "Let go of me!" She cried. "Piss off!" A new found strength suddenly lifted my body upwards and immediately, I sprang forwards and smashed Jack's skull with my fist before putting myself in front of Luna, motioning her to stay back. "Ow...god. You motherfucker..." Jack said. "I'm gonna mess you up!" He said as he ran towards me but not before getting blocked by Isaac's arm. "Don't worry Jacky," Isaac smirked, "I got this." “You want a fight? You got one." I yelled as I readied my fist and took a running start. The momentum caused by running towards them should have made the punch too quick to dodge, but yet somehow it felt too sluggish and Isaac easily dodged it with ease. Before I could react in time and recover, however, Isaac sent a powerful front kick, this one to my ribs, sending fresh ripples of pain through my torso. The force of the kick sent me flying back in front of Luna, making her gasped in shock. "Bloody hell." I groaned. "Whatza matter? Chicken?" Isaac taunted. Standing back up again, I took another running start. Isaac raised his eyebrow in surprise when he noticed that I was doing the exact same thing that caused me to get knocked down before and he stood ready, anticipating my moves. Except that the first punch only glanced Isaac’s chin. He noticed too late that it was a feint, though, when I sent a second punch, right in his guts. To my horror, Isaac doesn't seemed affected or anyhow, he didn't even flinch! “Oh you gonna pay for that!” "Uh oh." Suddenly, Isaac left loose a series of powerful kicks and blows that were too fast for me to avoid or even block. WHAM! There goes my spleen. BIFF! There goes my liver. Each punch were like a rogue freight train, crushing my body as if it was a car stranded on the tracks. I was worried for a split second that I would end up in a hospital by the time this ends when suddenly... "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!" Wait what? Isaac stopped his assault to look in the direction of the voice, and to be honest, I did so too. A young handsome man in his early 20s was standing beside a parked yellow Mazda RX-7 with a hand on his hip and...... Bah, who am I trying to fool? There's only one person I know of that owns a bright yellow Mazda in the entire freaking state of Kansas, doesn't takes a genius to know who it is. "Well well well." Carl snickered as he walked calmly towards us. "Look what we have here." "Well well well, if it isn't o'fag himself!" Isaac said. "Says the one who hangs around with boys." He smirked as he pulled me back up on my feet. "Why are you doing this to my brother?" "Oh him! Oh, I don't know...maybe it's because I feel like kicking him that's all." Isaac laughed. "I'll give you a chance to get out of here, or else I'll feel like shoving my fist right in your face if you don't get your ass out of my sight." Carl warned with a threatening demeanour. "You must have got a screw loose if you think you can take on Isaac!" Jack sniggered. "92..." Carl suddenly muttered. "We'll crush you like a bug!" Richard said as he cracked his knuckles. "35." "We're-what are you-" "No, go on, continue. Don't mind me." Carl calmly motioned them to carry on with his hand. "What the hell are you doing?!" "Oh sorry, it's just a little habit of mine." Carl smiled. "I've been in so many fights that I keep hearing these stuff so often that I've decided to create a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines." "You insane bastard." "119." "Yeah?" Isaac yelled, getting more irritated. "We-we're gonna fuck your face!!" "Ho ho ho, my!" Carl replied, acting surprised. "12." "That's it!" Isaac screamed as he rushed out at Carl with a clenched fist. This could get ugly. I thought. "Dixon! Are you alright?" Luna asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Wouldn't go down without a fight." I replied. "You just did-" "Wouldn't go down easily without a fight." I corrected. "So what do we do now?" "Just sit back and enjoy the show." I replied as I leaned against a wall. "But there's no seat-" She said, confused. "You don't know much about figure of speech, don't you?" I rolled my eyes before turning my head back at Carl. Carl, from my memory, was someone you don't want to get on his bad side. Flunking school, trouble with the cops, getting into fights, he was practically the baddest (and perhaps the craziest) motherfucker I know of. In fact, he could've gone down far more worst if my dad hadn't sent him to a military school many years ago. Even now he still likes to create some trouble for us. But no matter how crazy he is, I'm glad he was here to whoop the asses of those threes assholes. Despite being outnumber three to one, Carl was able to dodge every kicks and punches pretty much easily. Jack tried to punch him in his face but Carl was able block the punch and pull him forward before using his middle and index finger and giving him a sharp jab right in the left lumbar. This caused Jack to fell to the ground and clutch his left abdomen in pain. Richard tried to go from behind but he was immediately spotted and given a hard elbow strike right in the chest that made him kneel over which Carl added insult to injury by kicking him in the face. "Payback's a bitch ain't it?" I grinned. Isaac was the only one left standing, and I was starting to worry for Carl as Isaac was bigger than he was. But at the same time, I realized I was worrying for a guy who was sent to a military academy at my current age. Isaac may be big, but his strategy only consist of using brute force with no planning at all. This made it easy for Carl to anticipate his moves and know where he will strike next. However, Carl was not returning blows at all. He was dodging punches while taunting Isaac at the same time. "Haha! Too slow!" Carl yelled as he dodged a punch. "Yo, are you even trying?" "Hey knucklehead, you ain't gonna win!" "You... (dodges punch) are...(dodges another punch) terrible!" "I am OWNING you! You fat bald, fatty, fat...fat fat!" The last insult was the one that caused Isaac to break. Isaac immediately went ape-shit on Carl and rushed like him like an angry bull. However, Carl jumped past him and did a sweep kick. Causing Isaac to do some sort of mid split which completely exposes his underside. Carl immediately raised his leg and.. BOOM! Right in the jewels! And that was it, all three of the Stooges were on the ground moaning in pain, agony and a combination of any other word that represent bad. Carl took a step back to admire at his 'handiwork' before yelling. "And what have we learned? I ALWAYS WIN!" "No one, fucks with my brother you hear me? The next time I see you three piece of shits harassing my brother, I will tear out your throat just like I did in Afghanistan. NOW SCRAM!" Immediately, the Three Stooges got up and ran away so fast you would've thought that they were on the run from the law. "Hey man, you alright?" Carl asked. "Considering how I got kicked in the nose, and my dignity smashed into pieces. I can say I'm fine at least." "What took you so long?!" Luna yelled. "Don't you care about your brother?" "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it lady!" Carl raised his hands up in defence. "How am I supposed to know Dix will get his ass whooped by a bunch of losers?" "Alright you two!" I said. "I appreciate the worrying and stuff, but we should really get home soon before Mom gets worried.” “Shit! You’re right!” Carl exclaimed as he looked at the time. “We need to get home now! Alright, double time!” He yelled as he began picking up the groceries on the floor. "Are you really going to stand there and do nothing?" I looked at Luna disapprovingly. "And what make you think I’ll do manual labour?” she asked, “I am a princess for your information.” "Yeah, and in this nation, we don't give a shit about royalty. Besides, no one will ever know about your "royalty" so all you'll be doing is standing there and look pretty." Carl replied. "Fine." Luna said reluctantly as she went and pick up the tomatoes from the ground. In record timing, we managed to get every last groceries back into the bags and threw them into the car. There were some that can't be saved like the bananas which were stepped on by someone and one carton of milk which was already leaking milk. When all of us got into Carl's car, Carl took a look at his watch and said worriedly. "We only have 15 minutes to get back home." He said as he lifted the handbrakes. "I hope we could make it in time." "I just hope that you don't drive like a maniac this time, my butt is still sore from those loose suspensions." "Oh! That's reminds me! The reason why I was late was because I've just changed the suspensions settings for my vehicle. I hope you don't mind me going for a test spin now." "N-n-now?" Luna choked. "Take a test spin?" I looked at my brother suspiciously, "I don't like the way you said that." "Whatever." Carl said as he began accelerating. Luckily, part of the ride home went pretty smoothly. Partially due to the harder suspensions and the classical music playing on the radio which Luna found quite enjoyable. Did I say part of the ride? Yeah, that was 20% of the return trip. As for the 80% however... "Hey you two." Carl suddenly said from the driver's seat. "I'm going to speed up a little, I only have 10 minutes left." Immediately, my body started to tense up as if it went into a red alert mode. I began holding onto the nearest item that could save me from being turned into mush. "Why do you need to get home so quickly?" I asked. "Is it fap time?" Carl immediately sent me a glare from the driver seat. "Watch the road! Gah alright! Maybe just for a while." I said. My brother began accelerating much faster even though he was still in the middle of a district, I figured it might be okay since there wasn't many cars around. But somewhere deep inside me knew that Carl is going to do something stupid, or crazy...or maybe even both. "HEY HEY HEY! BRAKE! CARL! BRAKE!" I yelled when I realized that a curve was coming up and Carl wasn't slowing down. "CARL!" Luna and I screamed as the car entered the curve and the car was still going at full speed. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" "Relax, I'm good at this. Don't get your panties in a bunch." "What?" Luna asked, but before I could answer back I was pushed towards Luna by the force of the vehicle, almost crushing her. Jesus, I feel the side G force from a little aft. I turned to look at my brother to see how he was handling the wheel when I saw something wrong. On the steering wheel up front. Carl was casually taking a pack of gum out from his pocket and began unwrapping it. And no hands were on the steering wheel! "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled. "Come'on," Carl replied. " I just feel like getting some gum. Want some?" "Are you crazy!?" Luna cried. "You're going to get us both killed!" With the driver not controlling the vehicle and the car in the middle of a turn, I figured that there was no escape this time. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Being in the hospital seems like a much better situation right now. BRACE FOR IMPACT! The impact never came. When I opened my eyes, the car had already went out of the turn and was speeding on the straight road. "Holy shit!" I heaved a sigh of relief. "I do not wish to experience such thing again." Luna slumped into her seat, relieved that she was still alive. "Alright, I'm going to drive seriously now." Carl said as he sat straight upright and shifted the gear. "WHAT?!?" Luna and I cried as Carl snickered. Immediately, the both of us held onto the nearest thing that could allow our arms to be wrapped around it. "Dear God, Buddha, Allah, Moses, Jesus, Odin, Zeus, Thor, Loki, Princess Celestia and any other beings of higher power. If I can get out of this predicament alive, I will give up Rule 34 and sarcasm. No more fap time and dry humor, I'll be Dixon the restraint and straight talk fellow." "Did you just sent a prayer to my sister?" "I'm taking every chance I got alright?" If it wasn't for the massive roaring of the engine drowning our voices out, I think I know exactly what Luna and I will say together. "LET US OUT!"