One more drink...
Where did it go wrong? Am I to blame? Did I not try hard enough? Dammit Spike! You hesitated, and lost what you most sought. I mentally scold myself. Rarity... Another tear rolls down my cheek, adding to the pool underneath. "Today had started out so normally..." I drunkenly mumble into my empty glass.
Yes! Rarity gets back today from her business trip! I can't wait to see her! I thought as I first awakened. "Twi! Let's go, Rarity's train is going to be here any minute!" I enthusiastically yelled, grabbing for my jacket.
"Ugh, not now Spike! I've been up all night researching for my 'multiple universe' theory! Just go on without me, I'm sure Rarity will understand." Twilight yelled back in annoyance.
What ever...Rarity, here I come! Today is the day...The day I have the balls to confess! I sprinted to the station, not even stopping to pick up breakfast. Rarity is too important to me...Must...Get...to...station.
I silently thanked Rainbow for training with me; my endurance proving no match for the distance between the library and train station. "Terminal 3, Mareford to Ponyville is now arriving!" the pony on the intercom chimes just as I reach the station.
I hastily made it to Terminal 3, and sat excitedly for Rarity. After what seemed like ages, I saw her; her pure white coat, and beautifully crafted mane catching my attention. "Rarity! Over here!" I hollered as I slowly made my way to her. I hold out my arms to hug her, and to my luck, she hugged back. "Ahh! It's awesome to see you again!"
"Thank you, Spikey Wikey! It wouldn't be too much to ask for you to grab my bags, would it?" Rarity asked, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.
"Not at all, milady!" I exclaimed, giving a bow before I pick up her four suit cases.
The next few minutes I spent in complete silence; I let Rarity control the topic of discussion. I was about to speak up, when she moved onto 'stallions'. "...Oh, and I met this amazing stallion! He was just the kindest gentlecolt I could ask for! Everywhere we went, he held bags, never complained, and treated me like royalty! When he asked me to be his, I just couldn't say no!"
CRACK
That was it. I stopped, frozen in my tracks, and I felt something inside my chest snap. It hurt. A lot. I felt something break; something had been torn up, thrown down, and stomped on. Then I realized that something was my heart. I dropped what was in my right hand, and moved it up to my chest. ... Nothing. Nothing beat inside my body, just an aching pain that reared it's head in. It was another minute before Rarity looked back and saw I was about a hundred feet behind her.
She nonchalantly walked back to me, "Is something wrong dear?" she asked with genuine curiosity. Every word stung; what hurt the most was she truly had no idea what was wrong.
"N-nothing...don't worry about it. E-excuse m-me, Rarity." I dropped the other suitcases, and ran off. I tried to take a walk to calm myself, but everything reminded me of her. No matter where I went, whether it be the long walk to Sweet Apple Acres, or just across town. Eventually I turned to something I knew would help me forget...
"*Hic* 'Nother drrrrink." I slam my shot glass down.
"Kid, you're running up a big bill, you sure you want another?" the bartender asks in a gruff tone.
"Do*hic* Do I look like I'm kidding?" I glare at the stallion, and he quickly shuts up and pours more Jack into my glass. "L-Leave the bottle."
He does as he is told, takes the cap from the bottle, and walks away to service other patrons. "Rarity... I loved you." Another tear runs down my cheek.
Get over here bottle! I clumsily reach for the bottle, which is only half full. I scrunch my nose at the smell, but tip the bottle up anyway. "Y-you, misster J-Jack are m-my on-*hic* only friend."
Slowly, my vision starts to fade; and soon all I can see is blackness.
Two hours later...
I wake to find my head resting on the bar, and bottle of Jack completely drained. "I-I will never love again..."
I rise my head, and two shot glasses appear to my right, "One to remember," I quickly down the first, "and another to forget." I say as I finish the last one. I pull out a pouch filled with over a hundred bits in, "This'll cover it."
I sway a bit as I get up from my seat, and even more as I try to walk out. About ten feet from my seat, I collapse; unable to walk in a straight line. Getting up, I pat myself off and continue out. The brisk Autumn wind greets me as soon as I step out of the bar; and easily push me over into the mud. When did it rain? I-I don't remember it raining... Getting up this time is a bit trickier, but eventually I manage; I have to blink my eyes rapidly to accustom the lack of light. Slowly, I start back for the library; my head spinning, and my speech slurring.
I make it around the corner, and collapse once more; this time in front of the one building I never want to see again...Carousel Boutique...Rarity... I start crying again, this time a heavy weep. I try again to get up, but utterly fail; my arms collapsing under my weight. With no other option, I start crawling home; drunk, depressed, and disheveled. "Take my eyes, take my heart; for I need the no more!" I drunkenly yell.
In the distance I hear somepony else yell, "It's 2 A.M.! Someponies are trying to sleep, asshole!"
I quietly oblige, and again start crawling home; mud staining my entire front. Silently, I mumble, "I don't care, my grace is gone..." Slowly, darkness begins to envelope me again; and before I know it, I've passed out once again.