> Discord's Helping Hoof
>  by The Wizard of Words
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> They're Going To Need A Bigger Town...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

If there was ever a place for ponies to be themselves, it was Ponyville. 

Ponies who dreamed of dressing royalty were designing outfits for the elite. Farmers who felt a special kind of happiness when they gave their food to others were working their fields. Weather pegasi flew and zipped through the air, beating condensing clouds before they could take form or moving them to stalls that needed shade. Every pony had a job, and they each loved their job. Even far outside the collective homes of Ponyville, there were ponies that used their talents to their fullest capabilities.

Fluttershy, the timid and kind canary pegasus, floated and fluttered through the air as she cared for the animals around her home. From the squirrels nestled in their trees to the cats and dogs rolling through the grass, she took care of all of them. She gave them food, water, a home, and more love than almost any other pony in Equestria could ever give. Doing that gave her joy. But more than anything else, Fluttershy loved helping the animals that were misunderstood by others.

Inside the home of the cautious pegasus was one such creature. A life that had been thought of as monstrous by nearly all until she took him under her gentle wing. Over the course of a week, she had reformed him to do good, not evil. Now, in the following months, she was tasked with an even more difficult endeavor. To keep him that way.

There was, however, a snag.

“I’m bored.”

The announcement was as shocking as seeing the sky was blue.

The words dribbled from Discord’s lips as he flicked his paw through the air, waving at objects sitting across from him in the room. With every flick of his wrist, a piece of furniture changed.

“Bored,” the table grew a tail and began to bark.

“Bored,” the chairs lost two legs and began to dance.

“Bored,” the chandelier shrunk into a crystal ball and began to spin.

“Bored,” a piece of lettuce flew through the air and- wait.

The draconequus vanished in a flash of light, the vegetable sailing past where he once was and hitting the far wall. It slumped to the ground with a dull thud. Discord flashed back into existence standing over the green food with a curious look on his face.

“I don’t remember improving you,” He spoke to himself, claw scratching through his goatee as he spoke. “And I’d remember telling a pile of lettuce to fly. I would have given you parrot wings and beak, so that you could eat other lettuce! The funny kind of cannibalism! But if I didn’t tell you to fly then…” His voice trailed off has he looked across the room, past the dancing and barking furniture. His miss-sized eyes fell on a small ball of white fur. It was glaring at him viciously with a metal ladle in one of its small paws.

“Aw wittle Angel wants to play with me.” Discord chuckled as he eyed the rabbit, his smile growing broader as the bunny's scowl deepened. “Do you want to play catch? It is a fun game, but we can do better than a ball of healthy greens.” As he did with all his magic, Discord snapped his claw, popping into existence a new object to play with.

Angel’s eyes widened and pupils retracted at the sight of the cactus in the draconequus’s grasp.

“Do you like it?” Discord asked genuinely. “You liked the lettuce so much, I thought this would be a fun replacement. See?” He held up the spiked plant to admire it. “It’s green, grows out of the ground, and you can even eat it, too! It’s just like a ball of lettuce, but it’s twice as fun to throw. Here, Catch!” Discord tossed the plant at Angel, to the bunny’s immense horror.

The rabbit jumped across the floor, desperately avoiding the incoming plant. Angel stopped moving only when he heard the dull thud of an impact. His head turned to see the potted plant stuck into the wood. He turned to Discord with a triumphant face. It was met with an amused grin from the draconequus.

“Oh dear, it appears that you dropped it. Not to worry, we just have to keep trying!” With a snap of his claw, several more cacti flashed into existence. Angel felt his ears droop until they were lying on the floor. His pupils were smaller than a fruit’s seed. “What is that saying again? Ponies are so used to it nowadays.” His paw digits drummed on the edge of his chin in thought. Angel, however, was too frozen with fear to move. With a snap of his claws, Discord’s smile returned brighter than ever.

“That’s it!” He raised his forelimbs to his chest, holding them hoof length apart from one another. “Practice makes perfect!”

He clapped his paw and claw.

It began to rain cacti in Fluttershy’s living room, following the zigzagging path of Angel.

The rabbit bobbed and weaved under and around the furniture, moving with the kind of agility that befitted his species. With every bounce and hop he made, a cactus plant landed on the floor, spikes anything but merciful to what they came in contact with. It was hard to move, however, when the same furniture he was using for cover was also literally dancing around the room. Angel didn’t have a real path to follow, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a destination in mind.

With a few powerful kicks of his hind legs, Angel pushed himself out from beneath a barking table, dodged two more falling cactuses, and flew right into the snake-like torso of Discord.

The draconequus caught him with a swipe of his claw.

“Why Angel, that was positively astounding!” The master of chaos smiled down at the rabbit, who was scowling up at him. “If you wanted a hug, all you had to do was say so.”

“Discord!”

The voice was doubtlessly supposed to be a shout. But to the draconequus it sounded more like soft wind. Regardless, his eyes turned and fell on a canary pegasus standing sternly at the doorway. Her one visible eye was furrowed, complete with a puckered lip. It was adorable.

“Fluttershy!” He spoke joyfully, dropping the rabbit from his grasp. Angel fell to the floor with a soft squeak. He glared up at the draconequus, which was returned by a malicious smile. The rabbit was quick to hop over to the pegasus, self assured she was safer than any other part of the room.

“Oh, Angel. Are you alright?” Fluttershy knelt down to the rabbit, gently looking him over. Angel, however, was furiously making motions towards Discord, his soft voice squeaking and mewling with every action he made. The draconequus was happy enough to lean back in the air as if on a hammock, watching the show with a crooked smile. The canary pegasus, however, listened to her pet intently.

“He did that?” She questioned, being met with a nod from the rabbit. It was followed close behind by the bunny pointing at the furniture in the room, now in the middle of a group dance session around the dog-like table. “Oh my, that is wrong.” Angel gripped Fluttershy’s mane to grab her attention. When her eyes fell back on him, the rabbit began to make grabbing motions along himself, still squeaking and whining in a voice too high and too soft for most others to hear. “Oh dear, that was awfully mean of Discord to do.”

“Mean? Wrong?” Discord spoke up. “I did no such things.” The draconequus twisted in mid air until his legs were on the floor. His paw went to his snake-like chest, claw held in the air. “I swear I did nothing to harm any creature. I was just having a bit of fun.” The rabbit looked at him with a furrowed brow and stuck up nose.

“Then, why is my furniture… not standing still?” The pegasus’s blue eyes looked towards the barking table and dancing chairs. The sight brought a grin to the draconequus’s lips.

“Well, I didn’t say I did nothing, I just did no harm. You can hardly get mad at me for sprucing up the place.” Discord waved his paw off at the disappointing look on Fluttershy’s face. His eyes averted from her gaze, already too sure that she would guilt him into changing them back. He liked the way the were now.

“Oh, okay,” Fluttershy spoke in agreement, which earned perked ears from the draconequus. “But, then why is there a… cactus over there.” Discord’s lips curled into an ‘O’. “And there… and there… oh, and even next to Angel bunny’s food. Oh dear, they’re everywhere.”

Raising his claw to the back of his head, he slapped himself, knocking one of his eyeballs free from his socket. He caught the round object, twisting it in his talons until it was looking downwards. Raising it over his head, he saw the potted cactus plant stuck into the wood, sitting still on its thorns. A twist of his wrist and saw the pegasus biting her lip, Angel continuing to glare angrily at him.

“Oops. My mistake.” Discord snapped his paw, creating a flash of light over the plant. It was gone in a second. The rest of the potted and dangerously spiky greens were gone with it. Twisting his eyeball until he was looking at the furniture, he snapped his fingers again. The table straightened itself and stilled, the chairs grew legs and fell to the floor, and, finally, the crystal ball uncurled once more into a chandelier. The room was back to normal.

“That’s better,” Fluttershy spoke appreciatively. She looked at the tall Spirit of Chaos with a soft smile. “Thank you for changing it back.”

“Yes, yes,” Discord easily dismissed, waving off the kind gaze of the pegasus with his paw. His claw rose back to his head, dropping the eyeball back in place. It spun twice, correcting itself. He blinked twice before looking down at Fluttershy. “Everything’s back to normal. Same, safe, and predictable normalcy.” The mad god shivered in distaste.

Fluttershy looked at Discord with concern, head twisting to her side and blinking twice. She felt a small ball in her chest. Years of working with animals had taught her to listen to her instincts, and right now they were telling her one of her friends was unhappy.

“Is something wrong?” She asked sincerely, trotting next to the taller being’s legs. “You don’t look well.”

“Appearances are deceiving things Fluttershy. Haven’t I taught you this?” His sneer at the pegasus was short lived. Her expression of hurt was too much for him. “But, I suppose if you really must know what is wrong, I can explain.”

Raising his paw, Discord snapped his fingers, momentarily blinding the pegasus with a flash of white. Disorientation swiftly followed.

The world returned to Fluttershy, the bright lights in her eyes blinking away. She felt the same, her legs moved the same, but she was sitting on something… different. It was softer than the ground, and rather comfortable, too. As her eyes adjusted, she saw a large red cushion underneath her, and a matching backrest behind her. But that wasn’t the only thing new.

Around her fur was a rather tight coat-- a jacket, as Rarity would call it. It was dyed red and extended from the fetlocks of her forelegs to her waist.  Her forehoof rose to cover her lips in a gasp, but they connected with a thin piece of metal. Playing with it, Fluttershy felt the thin strands twisting around her head, sitting at the base of both of her ears. It took her a moment, but she realized she was wearing glasses, much like Twilight’s. They felt… weird.

Just to her right was a sofa she didn’t own. It reminded her of Rarity’s Emergency Cushion. Except, Rarity’s Emergency Cushion didn’t have a Master of Disharmony lying across it. He did have a paw over his forehead and a look of woe over his features.

“I just don’t know how it happened to me, me!” Discord whined into the air, throwing up his paw as he did so. “Here I am, a Master of Chaos, and I can’t even flex my muscles without causing a riot through the town. Not that a good riot isn’t fun to watch here and there.”

Fluttershy blinked at the draconequus, momentarily stunned at the sudden change of scenery. But living with a master of magic for so long had given the pegasus a unique sense of comfort when these kinds of things happened. And with a spirit like Discord, these kinds of situations happened a lot.

“Oh, um… so how does that make you… feel?” She may have known the game Discord was playing, but Fluttershy never was a pony that was quick to learn from others.

“Just terrible!” The draconequus wallowed once more, twisting his body over the plush sofa. “It’s just not in me to not be me. If I’m not me, then who am I? Why, I’d be no more fit to fly.” With a snap of his claws, a small parrot appeared in Discord’s paw, sitting on his palm. It took the pegasus a moment to realize that something was wrong with it. Namely, that it didn’t have any wings. It drew a sharp gasp from her.

“O-Oh dear. That is terrible,” Fluttershy honestly admitted. “That poor bird won’t know what to do.”

“And that’s my problem!” The pegasus watched on horrified as Discord crushed his great lion paw, bird still sitting on it. He opened it up a moment later to reveal an egg in its wake. It flashed out of existence, much like all of his magical acts. “If I can’t be the Master of Disharmony, then what am I?” Recovering from her shock of the disappearing bird, Fluttershy began to nod.

“So, you’re worried you’re not being, um, you enough?” She spoke the words with a curious tone, leaning towards the draconequus still sprawled over the expansive sofa. What she asked caused an explosion, literally.

Confetti, streamers, and a few stray feathers blew from Discord as he threw his arms and legs out to their fullest, expanding over the sofa like a balloon. His voice was just as loud and surprising.

“YES!” He bellowed loudly enough to shake the furniture across the floor. “And I miss being me! Making it rain milk, being able to eat dirt, and least of all making each and everypony act like their polar opposite,” His mismatched eyes looked at the pegasus with a flash, and only a flash, of concern. “No offense of course.”

“I-It’s… alright,” Fluttershy waved off with a shaking hoof. The explosive voice, sight, and reminder of his past was almost too much for the pegasus’s timid heart. The only thing that kept her from falling to her floor was the reminder that Discord needed her. And just as Twilight had taught her, a friend in need was a friend indeed.

“So tell me doc, what am I supposed to do?” Discord asked sincerely as he could, floating back down the sofa beneath him.

Taking a small breath of air, shutting her eyes to focus, Fluttershy thought over what she had heard.

“Discord,” she spoke with all the authority she could muster. “You have to go help ponies.”

“Help… ponies?” The draconequus let the words slip from his crooked lips, testing what they meant. “As in, help them be more like me?”

“No,” the pegasus spoke with a shake of her head. “You have to help them like any pony helps another pony, out of the kindness of their heart.” The smile Fluttershy had was not reflected over Discord’s lips.

“And what makes you think that will help me?” The master of chaos twisted in the sofa, crossing his forelimbs as he glared at the pegasus with mismatched eyes. Even with the spectacles over her, Fluttershy’s eyes beamed with delight.

“Because helping ponies always makes me feel better, and… and if there is anything I’ve learned from my friends, it’s that every pony can help one another in some way.” The pegasus lightly jumped from her chair, trotting the short distance to Discord. She laid her hoof over his claw, still smiling up at the large creature. “I’m sure that once you start helping other ponies around Ponyville, you’ll feel much better about yourself.”

“Really?” The draconequus was not convinced. “Doesn’t helping others involve inconveniencing yourself? You know, kind of like what I’m already doing 23/7?”

“Isn’t it… 24/7?” The pegasus asked curiously. The coy smile that grew over Discord’s lips did not sit well with her.

“Nope! It’s 23/7!” He spoke with no amount of restrained joy. “I changed that yesterday. Thought taking an hour out of the day would be the perfect way to make them go by faster.”

“Discord...” She could have been stern. She could have whined. But instead, Fluttershy mewled like a hurt kitten in front of the draconequus. Her being his only friend, it hurt worse than anything the Elements of Harmony could have done to him.

“Oh fine.” He snapped his claws, flashing another brilliant white. But this time, Fluttershy saw nothing different. “There, the day is longer again. I hope you’re happy.”

“I am happy.” Fluttershy agreed, though she wasn’t done yet. “But I would be even happier if I knew you were happy too. Discord, you are my friend, and I hate to see you feeling bad.” One of Discord’s brows rose. “Feeling bad or being bad, they both make me feel bad. If you could spend today helping out ponies, I’m sure you’d find yourself enjoying it before you know it.”

“Really?” Discord spoke again. “Just today? A trial run? A test? A mockery of reality?” Fluttershy felt her shyness returning in force. Her hoof lowered from Discord’s claw, settling to the floor as her body curled into herself.

“I-I don’t know if those were all the same thing, but, oh, um, yes?” She must have said something right.

“Very well Fluttershy!” Discord announced as he rose from the sofa. With a solid kick, it sailed out from beneath him, hitting the far wall and shattering into a thousand bubbles. Fluttershy watched on in awe. Looking down, she saw her now exposed coat was damp, most likely with popped bubbles.

“I’ll go out today and give it my all. But,” His claw dangled in front of Fluttershy’s exposed eye. “Just for today, to see if I like it.” That brought a new smile to the pegasus’s face.

“Okay,” She nodded at the words. “I know you can do it.”

“And I know this will be fun.” Without another word or warning, Discord snapped his paw. Instantly, his monstrous form was gone from the room. It wasn’t hard to find where he went. Dangling in the air, just in front of Fluttershy’s vision, was a small red balloon. It was complete with a crooked smile and miss-sized eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it. Toodle-loo Fluttershy!”

The balloon sized and shaped draconequus floated through the room, drifting out the window and out of Fluttershy’s home. The pegasus was left smiling.

“I wonder what he’ll do first?”





“What to do? Where to go? How to help?” The red balloon that was Discord questioned itself as it floated through the air. His eyes looked down at the ponies far beneath him, watching them move and dance around the thatched roof buildings. The rubber of the balloon scrunched as he sneered at them.

“Making food, selling goods, smiling, laughing, and playing with one another. It’s like I’m reading a book.” His course veered slightly as a side wind pushed him through the air. His form squeaked as he ducked a cloud.

“If I were any self-respecting Spirit of Disharmony, I’d just get them to forget about their day and have a bit of fun.” His eyes turned towards a pony weaving through the stalls of the market, her blonde mane whipping back and forth as she doubtlessly analyzed each of their goods. Ideas began to pour into Discord’s head.

He could make her dance through the stands on her fore hooves. He could have her tear down the wood from the stalls and build a house with the roof on the ground. It would require just a snap of his talons to make her grab the nearest pony and profess a fake love. Every one of his ideas made him smile, stretching the material of the red balloon.

But every one also had another trait in common. Discord scoffed as he realized what it was.

“Fluttershy wouldn’t be too happy if I did that.” He blew a breath of air, deflating his form. His descent to the ground was slow. “Honestly, if I can’t even be myself while I’m helping other ponies, what’s even the point?” His form bounced on the dirt, lightly touching the ground as the wind guided his path. The ponies around him thought little of the red balloon.

“Oh the curse of being me!” He mockingly cried as his rubbery form scraped at the ground. More than one pony jumped in shock at the voice, wide-eyes searching for the source. Discord paid them no mind. Fear was fun, but it alone wasn’t chaos.

“What I need is a pony who knows what it’s like to be me. A pony with a mind full of jokes and enough laughter to kill a clown.” His form spun and stopped against a building’s walls, leaving him with the sight of the market still moving through the almost scripted movement. It was a painful sight for a God of Chaos to watch.

“Now who’s a pony who’s like that?” The rubber of his form squealed as his lips puckered in thought. The miss-sized eyes on the surface squinted in time. But try as he might, not a pony could come to mind.

Twilight may have been intelligent, but she was far too serious and bounded by rules to possibly help him. Rainbow Dash may have been a rule breaker and a prankster to boot, but she wouldn’t know the first thing about helping others. She did have a mean selfish streak, not that he was any draconequus to say otherwise. Rarity was definitely out of the question. That mare would rather see herself caked in mud than be seen… what would be a word she would use… associating with the Mad God. The princesses weren’t even an option to consider.

Now whom did that leave?

As if a gift from some merciful and pitiable force, a pony bounced past the balloon’s vision. Her eyes were shut, a tune being hummed through her curled lips, and a joyfully random nature was in her every act and all her being. She was a pony that Discord knew well, and even better, a pony that mostly likely appreciated Discord just as well. She did love chocolate milk.

His balloon form popped, his existence momentarily pushed aside as his body reformed in the same chaotic magic he loved to cast. Then, in the blink of an eye, and a flash of white, the multi-pieced Draconequus reappeared, forelimbs outstretched and a gleeful smile over his twisted lips.

“Pinkie Pie!”

The sudden shout of the pony’s name made the mare turn towards the voice. Her face beamed with joy at the figure she saw.

“Discord!”

The ponies around them turned tail and ran.





“So Fluttershy says you gotta start helping other ponies?” Pinkie Pie asked the Mad God across from her, both having sat down on a lunch stand. The pink pony had a green salad laid out in front of her, half eaten and pushed around the plate. Discord had been munching on the wood of the table for the past half hour or so, noticing the perfect amount of moisture and decay in the timber. It settled well in his gut.

“Precisely,” He answered Pinkie Pie, flicking his wrist as he said so. “She thinks it’s the perfect cure for my perpetual boredom. I’ll give the girl credit, I certainly didn’t think of it, but I can’t see how it would help me either. After all, you ponies have enough love and kindness floating about. Why would you need little old me waving my paw for you.”

As he said those last words, Discord waved his paw at a passing colt, a bag of goodies slung over his carriage. He stopped moving as he felt it moving along his back. Turning around he saw snakes curled around his body. The child shrieked in fright. Discord chuckled in amusement.

“Discord!” Pinkie’s voice reprimanded him, earning his semi-divided attention. Watching the colt squirm against the snakes were too much fun to completely ignore. “Now that’s not nice at all, and it isn’t helping anypony.”

“It’s helping me though,” Discord playfully argued, a wry smile across his lips. “I’m not bored anymore.” The smaller of his two eyes saw her lips pucker into a pout, eyes narrowing in an act that would have been dangerous if she wasn’t speaking to a master of deception. She was, however, the friend of a friend, and his friend wouldn’t appreciate him being mean to said friend. It was, oddly enough, a twisted circle he didn’t wish to test.

With a sigh, Discord snapped his talons. A flash of light shined over the colt, appearing and disappearing in an instant. When the light faded, the snakes were gone and the bag was back to normal. It didn’t stop the colt from viciously untying and throwing the pack away from him. He fell to the ground then, whimpering softly as he watched the bag with wide eyes.

“See, all better.” Discord spoke with a scoff, turning his head away from the now uninteresting scene. His eyes fell upon Pinkie Pie again, staring up at him with the same pouting lips. “What?”

“That’s not all better. Now you’ve given him a pouty face. He needs to have that frown turned upside down!” Her hooves were on the table, stretched her pink body over the wood towards the taller draconequus. Discord merely shrugged as he nibbled on a knot of wood. A bit tough, but flavored well.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Discord waved his hand towards the still sniffling colt, wide eyes staring at his bag as if waiting for it to suddenly change again. “The kid got a scare, it’s no reason to get worked up. Besides, where’s the line I have to cross to qualify as “helping” a pony?”

“You gotta make sure that whatever you do, it helps the pony in some way!” Pinkie Pie jumped onto the table, sending her salad crashing to the ground. She stood on the tips of her hooves to look Discord squarely in his eyes. Even the Spirit of Disharmony would swear that he saw her eyes bugging out at him. It was such a funny image. There were, however, more important matters to attend to.

“I’m not sure I follow.” He spoke easily, stroking his goatee as he did so. “I did turn his pack back into a predictable and simple bag, not a piece of it odd or out of the ordinary in the slightest.” His body visibly shivered as he spoke. “It’s so plain it’s almost a pain to look at.” His chuckle was one shared alone. The pink pony just groaned with a roll of her head.

“Just watch me!” Without another word, the pink pony hopped away. Discord watched her from his seat, lips puckering in curiosity. He tore off another bit of the table, wrapping it in a fork before tossing into his mouth. Extra crunchy, with a small bite at the end.

The pink pony bounced next to the colt Discord had only moments ago terrified. He was currently curled into the ground, bravely fighting back his tears from the experience. When Pinkie Pie jumped in front of his vision, the colt let out a gasp of shock. Discord was already watching with amusement.

From the half-eaten table, Discord watched as she knelt down to the colt’s level. His wide eyes stared at the mare, who looked at him with a genuine bright smile. Her lips moved to say words Discord couldn’t hear. He raised his paw to his ear, hoping to pluck it from his head and throw it next to the pair, but before he could Pinkie Pie began to move again.

She jumped next to the colt’s bag, gripping it in her teeth before lightly tossing it in front of the pony. The small pony back pedaled slightly, but stopped when Pinkie jumped in front of it again. Without ceremony, she unzipped the bag, putting her head into it. Discord’s brow rose in curiosity.

Then Pinkie pulled out some unfilled balloons. Holding them up to the colt, she smiled brightly as she took a deep breath. With one great exhale, she completely filled the rubbery material. It grew into a long rod, floating lightly in the air. Then Pinkie’s hooves moved at an almost blinding speed, wrapping around the balloon and twisting it as she did so.

When she was done, it was the same shape as a pony. The colt smiled with a bit of satisfaction. But Pinkie wasn’t done yet.

“What’s next in your bag of tricks Ms. Pie?” Discord half-seriously asked, taking a small bite from the knife in front of him. The flavor was a bit flat, but it ended with a sharp tang.

Once Pinkie handed the colt his balloon, she proceeded to rapidly blow and tie the others. With every one she handed to the smaller pony, his smile grew larger and larger. It wasn’t long before he was completely surrounded by inflated balloons-- nearly enough to lift him off the ground. But with the wry smile on her lips, Discord could tell the mare wasn’t done yet. She wouldn’t be because he wouldn’t be, and Pinkie Pie was as close to Discord as any pony could ever hope to be. The mare reached into the colt’s bag again and pulled out an object the draconequus was pleasantly surprised to see.

A cake, baked and ready to go, complete with frosting and decorations, was produced. A cloud of confetti even exploded from the bag as she pulled it out. Discord’s smile grew a bit brighter at the display. It was so joyfully random and seemingly impossible to do, pulling such concessions out of another pony’s bag. He loved it.

Pinkie Pie produced a small knife from her side, cutting up the cake with just as impressive speed as she had displayed when tying the balloons. The colt’s jaw fell open, no doubt with disbelief, but that was his mistake. No sooner were his lips parted than did Pinkie Pie push a slice of the treat into his jaw. His mouth closed instantly.

Soon after a few chews of the cake, though, his lips grew upward in a smile. Pinkie Pie laughed as he did so. She then proceeded to throw the cake behind her, landing in some garbage can without incident. Discord would have much preferred it to land on some public figure. The classical kind of comedy-- and you just can’t beat the classics.

However, Pinkie Pie’s performance with the colt was joyful enough to earn and keep his attention. Speaking of which, it seemed to be coming to an end.

The pink pony was leaning close to the colt, putting a leg around his neck. She was whispering into his ear, occasionally breaking the dialogue with a giggle or two, which the smaller pony reciprocated. Then with a stretch of her leg, farther than the draconequus would have given her credit for, she grabbed the colt’s bag, slinging it over his back once more. He didn’t shy away or tremble at it anymore. Instead, he smiled gratefully to the older pony.

Then, without a wave of his hoof, the colt walked away again, a spring in his step given height by the balloons he carried. Bouncing as she always did, Pinkie Pie jumped over to Discord once more, taking her seat across from him.

The ponies around them watched, terrified, amazed, and skeptical all at once. For Pinkie, they had learned better than to question her habits. For Discord, they knew better than to test him. Lessons learned were like bridges burned. They were always fun to watch.

“See what I did?” The curly-maned pony asked. “Well, aside from the confetti, balloons, cheering, cake, frosting, bouncing, smiling, laughing, and talking?”

“Aside from all that, nope. Not at all.” Discord crossed his mismatched forelimbs, puckering his lips. Pinkie Pie put on a big smile before she gave the answer to the draconequus.

“I made them smile silly!” She giggled at her answer, eyes shutting as she did so. For the not the first time, Discord wondered if she was compelled to laugh by some spell. He was not the first to have such thoughts.

“Make them smile? Even I knew that’s what supposed to happen when you help somepony. It’s how I’ve helped myself for years!” Discord extended his forelimbs as he spoke. It wasn’t met with agreement from his pink friend.

“No no no!” Pinkie Pie argued back, shaking her mane like a wet dog. “You aren’t supposed to make just you smile, that comes later. If you help out another pony in a way that no other pony can, then you’ll make them smile!” Without any warning, the pink pony jumped into the air. Her body crashed into Discord’s without ceremony. The draconequus was forced to catch her, large red eyes staring down into her full blue ones. They stared back at him. She was smiling all the while.

“And when you make another pony smile doing what you like to do, then you’ll make yourself smile!”

Something inside Discord clicked.

“Help another pony like no other can?” The thought was more than just new to the draconequus, it was wonderful. It brought a smile to crooked lips, a spark to his mismatched eyes, and chuckle from the back of his throat. “Doing what no other pony can do is what I do best!”

“Hooray!” Pinkie Pie cheered as she jumped from Discord’s paw and claw, performing a deft flip before landing back on the ground. “That means you’re already one hoof closer to helping other ponies! Soon you’ll be able to help ponies across all of Equestria with your awesome magic because you can use magic like no other pony can because you’re not a pony, you’re a draconequus, or at least that’s what Twilight says you are, but I’ve never heard you call yourself one which is weird because I call myself a pony all the time, even when I’m by myself, but maybe that’s because draconequus is a weird word to say so instead of saying draconequus you just say-”

A zipper appeared over Pinkie Pie’s lips.

“I’m sorry about that Pinkie, but you really must learn how to be brief.” Discord wagged a finger in front of the pony, who worked her hooves furiously at the zipper strap. “After all, if you spend the entire day talking, there won’t be anytime to help out other ponies. Speaking of which, I better get started.” With a snap of his fingers, the zipper across Pinkie’s mouth vanished. The pony took in a large gasp of air as he did so. It was soon followed by a giggle.

“That’s the same thing Twilight did to me before!”  She seemed oddly happy about having her ability to speech being taken away from her. Then again, the only memory the Spirit of Chaos had of the pink pony being unhappy was when he had made her that way. Such a bittersweet thought. “Well, I have to go now though.”

“Really?” Discord asked. “Where are you off to then? Throw another party for another friend?”

“No silly, “ Pinkie Pie answered grinning. “I’m off to Las Pegasus, so I can learn new ways to throw parties! If I do the same thing too many times it gets boring! And no pony likes a boring party. Blegh!” The pink pony finished her thought with stuck out tongue and grimace over her features. It made the draconequus smile with delight.

“If only your friends took after you the same way.” Discord wiped a crocodile tear from his eye. He flung it to the ground, where it promptly popped like a balloon, confetti included. “You sure know how to make an old spirit cry.”

“Happy tears, riiiiiight?” Pinkie Pie stretched to her highest height, eyes squinting up at Discord’s mismatched red irises. He held up his forelimbs in surrender.

“But of course, my dear. Why would I ever think ill of new things?” A dark chuckle rolled from his lips. “The newer something is, the better it is!” Pinkie Pie leaned back from him smiling wide enough to force her eyes shut.

“Okey Dokey Lokey! Just making sure.” Without another word, the pony turned tail from the draconequus, bouncing down the dirt path until she was out of sight. Discord chuckled all the while.

His claw drew through his goatee, mind spinning and weaving ideas. The possibilities of what he could do were endless, the things he could make happen boundless. The only restriction had was the one he always ignored. Having to make ponies other than himself smile.

The good news? He had to do it in a way that no other pony could. That made a fiber in his old heart leap with joy. Literally. His heart leaped up and down behind his vision, celebrating the ideas that were forming in his mind.

A content sigh left his lips. He bent his head left, cracking it. Raising his paw, he pulled it further down, spinning his head around his neck until it moved in a complete circle. Discord felt good.

The day was young, his mind fresh, and all of Ponyville open to him.

“Time to get started.”

Back in her home, caring for a stray robin that had floated through her window, Fluttershy felt a shiver run up her back.

“Oh dear, I really should close the window. That breeze is chilly.”
> He's Going On An Adventure!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, where to start, where to begin, what to do, what to do?” The draconequus asked wistfully, ignoring the wary gazes of the ponies around him as he walked through the center square. “I could make a problem and then fix a problem-- it worked well for that colt. But nah,” he waved his paw next to his head. “Too many ponies would expect me to do that. It just wouldn’t be right doing what they expect. Have to live up to my name now.”

The draconequus’s mismatched eyes scanned the crowd of ponies around him, hoping for not the first time to see a pony in distress. For the first time, however, he hoped it was for a reason that was not related to him. Search as he might, however, he could did not see a pony who appeared anything but joyful. There was the occasional cautious eye, but he had come to expect such a look from these ponies. Remembering why made him grow a toothy smile.

“Oh but to help them would mean to gain trust with them.” He twisted his already crooked lips. “That one will be tough without a bit of magic.” He raised his claw to his mismatched eyes, individually testing each of the talons across it. “I’m sure Fluttershy wouldn’t be too upset if I just… Nah.” He lowered his claw from his face, although dropped would have been a more accurate term. “That would be too easy.”

So his lonesome trek through Ponyville Square continued, the out-of-place draconequus walking amongst the crowd of ponies shopping for goods to buy. He was so delightfully odd to the ponies that it gave him that sense of glee that often followed a good trick of his magic.

He was already one step away from fulfilling that odd requirement Pinkie set, doing what no other pony could do. Discord was quite confident no other pony could walk through Ponyville with such attention, save the princesses themselves. But those two bores were more likely to move stars than visit a town like this. He chuckled because he knew it was true. The ponies around him did not join in.

“Wait,” Discord spoke as he stopped in place. His legs kept moving, but he remained walking over the same patch of ground. “I’m losing track of myself, and not in a good way.” Still walking in place, he raised his claw to his chin, thinking of what to do. Nearly every thought that popped from his head was an idea of mayhem.

Burn a few roofs, make a few plants come to life, maybe just reverse gravity for a little bit. Those pesky pegasi did hog the sky. Earth ponies did deserve a turn. But if he did that, he’d have to take the magic away from the unicorns. It would only be fair, after all. Trade their brains for brawn, since the former was always better than the latter. It would be simple, just a few snaps of his claw…

His paw beat the thoughts from the air, watching as they separated into puffs of smoke before disappearing into nothingness. Discord snorted at them, slightly proudly but most irked that they were gone.

“That was amazing!” The voice honestly surprised the draconequus. “Can you do that again?”

He looked down at his legs, sure that no pony would match his height. There was only a pegasus or two that even dared to fly to his height. But even still, he expected to see a pony beneath him, be it a unicorn, pegasus, or a regular earth pony.

Instead, he saw a colt, and that was being generous with the word.

The small little thing was no bigger than the end of his hoof-- small enough to easily fit into the paw of his hand, digits flexed into a ball. Small, so very small, pint size really. Such an oddity made the draconequus grin with glee. If anyone could appreciate the odd ones, it was him.

“Why hello there,” Discord spoke kindly to the young colt, twisting his body around the pony. He hung over the colt like a doorway’s arch. “I don’t believe I’ve met you before, and for a spirit like me, that’s saying something.”

“My name’s Pip!” The colt eagerly spoke in return, smiling broadly at the draconequus without a shred of fear. Such a change from the everyday pony was an oddity in itself, his size and stature aside. It was enough to make Discord chuckle.

“Well it is great to meet you young Pip.” Discord held his claw out to young pony. The colt looked at it for a moment, doubtlessly marveling at its size and shape. Then, with his big grin, he gripped one of the talons with his hoof, hoping to give it a strong shake.

It fell off like a flower’s petal.

Stunned, the foal held the talon outwards, staring at it without an idea of what to say. His smile was gone, replaced with just a gaping stare. Discord’s however, only seemed to grow. He coughed into his paw lightly. The colt looked up to him as he did so.

“May I have that back?” Pip briefly looked from the talon to the outstretched paw, doubtlessly wondering what could possibly happen next. With small nibble of his lower lip, he tossed the draconequus the scaly appendage. Discord caught it easily, popping it back on his claw with ease. “Much obliged.”

“That’s amazing…” The colt continued to marvel, staring with the same unblinking gaze. Discord, however, blinked at the colt.

“You liked that?” Discord asked with a grin.

Pip returned the smile earnestly.

“Did I?” He spread his hooves outwards, lowering to the ground as he wagged his tail. “Of course I did! Ya just removed and popped a claw from ya’self like it was hat! That’s just too awesome!” Discord felt his chest swell with pride.

“Well,” he began, straightening until he once more towered over the small pony. “Maybe this will impress you as well!”

A flash of light blinded Pip before he had the chance to raise his hooves. When he did, he was left seeing spots even with his eyes closed. He could feel the light dying away, but he was far too shocked to move his legs just yet.

“Oh come now, I promise I’m not that terrifying.” The draconequus spoke to him outside his vision. Curious, the foal looked down, not knowing what to expect.

What he saw was a simple potted plant, complete with a stem, leaves, petals, and a face smiling up at him with crooked teeth and mismatched eyes. Pip peered at it like he would an advance in his allowance.

“What’s wrong?” The flower spoke up to him, chuckling deeply as it did. “Too much green? I know it isn’t my color, but blue is just too predictable and red?” The stem of the flowered waved like it was caught in a sudden breeze. “That just makes me shiver.”

“That’s… that’s…” Pip stuttered out. The flower leaned in towards him, petals bending towards the speechless colt. “The most awesome amazingtastic thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Ha ha!” Discord cheered, slapping his leafy appendage over the colt’s nose. “Pip old boy, I think I like you.” Another flash of white momentarily overtook the foal, but he was a bit more prepared this time. His vision returned much faster with his hooves in the way. When it did, he was stuck looking at the draconequus’s feet. He looked upwards to see the long face of the Mad God smiling down at him. The colt smiled in return.

“So tell you what,” Discord began, leaning down once more until he matched the small colt’s height. “I’m out on a… let’s call it a charity rally.” The foal nodded his head eagerly. “Basically, I gotta do some good deeds for ponies in need. You see where I’m going with this?”

“Yeah! At least… I think so.” The foal bit his lip, scrunching one eye as he looked at the monstrously sized creature. “You’re offering ta… work yer magic for me?”

“Exact-o-Mundo!” The draconequus bellowed, flying into the air with a small explosion of confetti. The colt giggled uncontrollably as the thin slices of paper fell around him. His tail was wagging hard enough to nearly dislodge it from his back. “So, here comes the trick Little Pip,” Discord spoke, grabbing the colt’s attention again. “The one line I can’t cross, no matter how appropriate I think it is to, is that I can’t do just whatever I want. It has to, well, help you.” The colt nodded eagerly again. “That being said, why don’t you tell Mr. Cord here just what it is you want.”

What Discord expected was the foal to think hard on the topic. He fully expected the colt to look around him, thinking of every little thing that has happened to him in the past day or so. Maybe he’d want that ice cream cone his mom wouldn’t buy for him, or that swingset his dad didn’t have the bits to build.

What Discord didn’t expect was the speed at which Pip answered him. That, and the request itself.

“I want to go on an adventure!”

Discord’s lips nearly split his face.

“An adventure?” Discord mimicked the foal. “What kind of adventure are you looking for? One that takes you over the Crystal Mountains?” His claw touched the ground, raising with it large spikes from the soil. They were, oddly enough, peaked with layers of snow. “Or are you looking to traverse the Gobi Sands?” His claw beat down the mountains, leaving behind a playpen’s worth of sand. There was a small oasis sitting in the center of the scattered grit.

“Nah, I know what kind of adventure I want.” His smile had yet to shrink, and neither had Discord’s. “I’ve heard all about those kind of adventures from Apple Bloom and her friends.” The blush that trickled across his face did not go unnoticed by the Mad God. “But, what I want is what I’ve always dreamed about.”

“Well, don’t keep me waiting.” Discord motioned to his legs. Pip jumped momentarily at what he saw. Stone was crawling up the draconequus’s legs. “Any longer and I might freeze in anticipation.” The chuckle that followed whisked away the small amount of unease the colt had. With a bright smile and wishful mind, Pip told Discord just what he was thinking.

“I wanna be a pirate!”

The stone around Discord shattered, his eyes, lips, and fur all growing with delight at the news. Pip’s shining demeanor had yet to change.

“A pirate?” Discord questioned gleefully. “A swashbuckler, raider of the great shining seas?” A large eye patch flashed over Discord's larger eyes as he spoke, a sword in his claw. He made a few large cuts high in the air, far above Pip’s stature. The foal was almost shaking with joy at the sight.

“Yeah!” He cheered upwards. “I’ve been dreamin’ about doing that every since I saw Horseshoe Bay! Bein’ the captain of a ship of scoundrels, discovering new lands and sein’ thing you’d never find anywhere else! I can’t think of anything better!” Discord felt himself melting with joy. He was shrinking a few inches to prove just that.  With a deep breath of air, he pulled himself together, bringing his liquid limbs back to him and solidifying his multi-formed body.

“Well Pip,” Discord began with a sharp smile. “I think I might be able to help you out with that!” The colt’s tail began to shake back and forth eagerly. “I’ll give you an adventure full of excitement, hair-rising action, and maybe even a dash of chaos.” The toothy grin of the draconequus only served to make the foal bounce in anticipation. “Are ya ready kid?”

“Aye aye captain!” Pip yelled up the tall creature. Discord cupped his paw around his head, pulling out a flap of skin until it looked like a megaphone.

“I can’t hear you!” Discord sang back to the colt, chuckling as he did. Pip began to jump into the air as he hollered back.

“Aye Aye Captain!”

“Alright!” Discord snapped his paw, reducing his ear back to size. His paw and claw slammed into each other with a loud clap. With a bright smile, only slightly larger than the colt beneath him, Discord began to rub his forelimbs together eagerly.

“One adventure full of open seas, danger, and fun coming right up!” The draconequus separated his paw and claw. He smiled down at the colt. “Be sure to write!”

With a clap directed toward Pip, the foal disappeared in a great flash of white.





Pip blinked in confusion, the bright light from Discord’s magic fading away.

His youthful eyes looked around him, his smile growing brighter with every little thing he saw.

There were planks of wood beneath his hooves, three large masts towering in front of him and black sails billowing above him. He could hear the ocean waves beating against the wood and ponies surrounding him with equal parts surprise and rage.

Each and every one of them wore clothes tattered with marks of wear and tear. Their manes scruffy and long, beards just as weathered, and swords hanging from their waist.

Pip beamed up to them with joy.

“Ahoy there ye scurvy dogs!” He yelled up to the pack of armed brigands. They scowled at the voice. Pip paid no notice. “Are ya ready ta take to the high seas!”

The ponies began to draw their swords.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”





Twilight was having a great day.

She had just finished reading three of the latest papers from Shooting Star, reorganized half the book sections in the library, and now she was on her way to give Spike a large ruby. He had earned it over the past week, easily. Between his initiative in cleaning the old books section to his motivation for letter dictation, he had really proven himself. It was hard for Twilight not to be proud of her little assistant.

To match her cheerful demeanor, the alicorn skipped down the path ahead of her humming a tune she had heard as a foal. Cadence had sung it to her often during their play dates. For Twilight, it had become a song that really let her know that everything was alright.

Left and right, her mane waved with her head, hooves clopping on the path beneath her. She felt her new wings flutter just a touch to match her good mood. It brought a small blush to her cheeks. The alicorn could understand Fluttershy’s skittishness with such sensitive appendages. However, a little twitch of the feathers wasn’t anything to dampen her mood.

Seeing a mare sobbing in streets was.

Twilight had to blink when she first saw it. Never in the years she had spent in Ponyville had she ever seen a pony sobbing openly like she did now. There was no injury on her as far as the alicorn could see and no argument occurring around her. That only left one possible reason for the mare’s tears. Bad news.

Twilight, ever the helpful pony, knew what she had to do.

“Excuse me?” The alicorn spoke as she approached the mare. “Can I help you?” The mare sniffled as Twilight spoke, eyes still trained on the ground. “Did something bad happen?”

“M-my boy…” she spattered out, lips trembling as she finished. “I… I can’t find him.” Twilight’s wing erupted from her side. “He… He…”

The mare broke down into sobs.

They were wet hiccups that shook her body, making her shake over the ground. Her head sagged with every wet gasp, moans occasionally spilling from her lips. Tears, however, fell like small rivers from her eyes, wetting her coat and drenching the strands of her mane that fell over her face.

Twilight had seen her friends cry before, and they had seen her do the same. She had learned how to help a pony like this long ago. With a mare crying right in front of her, Twilight didn’t hesitate.

The alicorn moved herself in front of the mother, wrapping her hooves around the mare’s shoulders. She felt the mare freeze at the contact, but only briefly. Then, with shaky hooves, she began to return Twilight’s embrace.

The next few minutes was filled with tears staining Twilight’s mane, hooves matting her coat, and odd stares being given to the pair as they passed. The alicorn didn’t pay them any mind. The only pony that mattered to her was the mare in her hooves, and she deserved to have a shoulder to cry on. Especially with a missing son.

It took some time, but the sobbing pony began to calm down. Her hooves began to weaken, slipping from Twilight’s sides.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Twilight as she let go. “I’m sorry, thank you.”

“It’s alright,” the alicorn comforted once more, rubbing her hoof over the mare’s shoulder. “You have every right to be scared. Now,” Twilight clenched the mare’s shoulder. “Who is your son?” She watched the pony swallow on a ball in her throat, most likely to control herself.

“Pip, Pip Pinto.” She took a deep breath, an action that Twilight mimicked. “I’m his mother, Mrs. Pinto.”

“Pip?” Twilight repeated. “I know Pip, I met him last Nightmare Night. He was dressed as a pirate, right?” Mrs. Pinto began to nod eagerly.

“Y-Yes, that’s right!” A pitiful smile rose to her lips. “So you know what he looks like!”

“I do.” Twilight made sure her smile was as hopeful as she could make it. “He’s only as tall as my knees, with a spotted coat like yours.” The tears flew off Mrs. Pinto’s face under the strength of her vigorous nods.

“Yes! That’s my boy, that’s… that’s him.” A wet sniff came from the mare, doubtlessly to draw back into the straining tears. “He… He ran away.” Twilight felt her jaw drop.

“He… he did that?” The mare questioned in shock. “And he told you he was going to?”

“If he had told me I’d think it was him going off on… on another one of his little adventures.” A quick sad smile passed over the mare’s face. It was gone as fast as it had come. “But… I… I got this.”

Mrs. Pinto reached to her side, grabbing a piece of paper the alicorn hadn’t noticed before. She lifted it to Twilight, motioning for the alicorn to read it. Twilight did just that, lifting the piece of parchment into the air for her to see.

“It’s a letter,” Ms. Pinto told her, her breaths audible to Twilight’s ears. “I… He never wrote a letter like this before.” The alicorn nodded in understanding before directing her eyes back to the page.

“Dear Mum,” Twilight raised a brow at the improperly written title, but continued nonetheless. “I’m writing this now to let you know that I’ve gone off on an adventure! I’m sure there is gonna be more exploring out about town than I would have ever expected. Can’t say when I’ll be back, but I promise that when I do, I’ll be a changed pony! Here’s hopin’ that I’ll be seeing more of the unknown! You’re Son, Pip Pinto”

Twilight twisted her lips at the letter, face scrunching in uncertainty.

By itself, the letter did appear to be written by a child, complete with poor hoofsmanship and rather egregious grammatical mistakes. Only a few of the foals Pip’s age knew the difference between “there” and “their”. Really, at a glance, it was a hastily scrawled letter from a foal.

But Twilight never glanced at anything.

The letters may have been written in haste, but they didn’t have the same jittery lines that were common for most foals trying write with their mouths. More than that, the letter seemed oddly specific for a foal’s letter. It wasn’t just about adventure, it was about finding things that were unknown. Twilight couldn’t name a colt, filly, or any other foal in Canterlot that would use a word like unknown.

“My little boy exploring isn’t anything new.” Twilight saw the ghost of a smile pass over the mare’s lips, doubtlessly from remembering a fond memory. However, she maintained her silence. “What’s… what I don’t understand is how that got here?” Her hoof motioned towards the letter in the alicorn’s grasp.

“Pip’s message?” Twilight inquired, earning a nod from the colt’s mother.

“Yes, it…” She bit her lip before continuing, attempting to control herself. The alicorn was patient for her to continue. “It just popped onto his desk, like magic.”

“Magic?” The lavender mare questioned. “But, and pardon me for saying this so bluntly, but isn’t Pip an earth pony like yourself? I don’t think he can use magic.” The pinto coated mare began to nod vigorously in agreement.

“Yes, yes! That is why… I think something happened, I…” Her chest shook, no doubt from trying to suppress another series of sobs. Twilight carefully laid her hoof on the mare’s shoulder. She felt the pony lean into it, grateful for the contact.

“It’s alright Mrs. Pinto,” Twilight spoke with warmth in her voice. “Ponyville’s a safe place. I’m sure there’s some reasonable explanation for this.” The mother seemed unconvinced by the alicorn’s words.

“It’s the f-fact that it is so safe here that… that my little boy is so adventurous.” She sniffled before she spoke again, keeping her tears in check. “It’s just… he’s never done this before. It’s so… so…” Her head shook, thinking through her addled mind the right word for it. It came like the flash of a bulb.

“Random!”

Twilight’s wings fell in tandem with her smile.

The writing, the magic, and most of all how random this was according to Pip’s mother all added up. Twilight had a very good idea who was behind this. A restrained sigh left her lips.

“Mrs. Pinto,” the alicorn spoke as easily as she could. It sounded as if she was talking through gravel, given the strength with which her jaw was clenched. “I have an idea of what happened to Pip. I’m sure he’s just fine, but I’ll make sure to get him back home as soon as I can. I promise.”

“You… You’re sure?” The amount of hope that hung of the words was enough to weigh down a pegasus. Twilight took the full weight of the load.

“I’m sure,” she spoke again, the muscles in her jaw easing. “I apologize for worrying you so much. I’m sure my friend is just out entertaining him.”

A slow and heavy breath left the mare’s lips.

“Oh thank you,” she breathlessly spoke. “Thank you I... I was truly worried my boy had run away from home!” Where the words had given her no small amount of fright before, now the mare was smiling. “Oh that boy is going to be the death of me someday.” She giggled at the words. With palpable unease, Twilight began to chuckle as well.

“Yes, well, um… I’ll just go get him then.” The alicorn began to back away from the mare, lips lopsided in a smile. “I’ll… I’ll be giving my friend a good talking to and make sure Pip is back soon!” With that said, the alicorn turned tail and began to trot away, her speed increasing with every step her hooves took.

“Thank you again!” Mrs. Pinto called to Twilight’s galloping form.

Magic was drawn into her horn, bringing forth the familiar lavender aura. She felt the bags over her sides lighten, levitating into the air as she moved. In a quick flash of light they were gone, moved to her patented “Fail Safe Storage.” All she had to do later was remember that she put them there.

For now, she had something far more important to take care of. And Twilight had been having such a good day, too.

Leave it to Discord to turn things upside down.
> We're All Mad Here
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, that was quite a thrill!” Discord mused gleefully to himself. “So that’s what it feels like to help out a pony in need.” A deep chuckle followed his words. “I could get used to such twists. But!” He raised his claw as he spoke, stopping in his tracks. “This is no time to relax! The day is still young, and I still have magic to spare.”

To prove his point, the draconequus threw his paw and claw into the air.

Instantly, fireworks and colorful explosions erupted from behind him.

Even under the bright lights of the sun, the explosions and displays that practically screamed in volume brought no shortage of blindness and deafness to the nearby ponies. The stallions and mares ran away from the Mad God, screeching like the dead were walking.

Then in a flash, the noise, lights, and colors were gone, leaving behind only a very amused Discord.

“Oopsie,” he spoke aloud, putting his flat lion’s paw to his chin with a mischievous look of innocence. “That’s another pony’s trick, and I’m everything but a copycat.” His claw ran up his long face, pulling the end of his head up into itself. Momentarily, his entire skull looked like it was deformed, being pushed into itself. If there were any ponies left around him, they doubtlessly would have run by now.

But then he let his claw extend, releasing his own face. It flopped back into position, taking the shape he had pushed it into.

Even with the innocent face of a cat, Discord’s smile looked more terrifying than many of the nightmares foals conjured up. The low chuckle that came from behind his now feline appearance did not help. It was fortunate those pony had fled already.

“Ah, but I digress with myself.” His paw slapped over his face, pulling it outwards to its original length. It snapped back into place, his lips held outwards in a pout. “One good deed isn’t enough for me. Odd as the number is, it’s just too predictable to use.”

The draconequus started to walk again, this time down a now-barren street. The talons of his claw slowly slipped through the hairs on the end of his beard as he thought deeply on the subject. But no matter how many avenues he took through the twisted and reversed corridors of his mind, Discord could not find an answer to his conundrum. 

“Perhaps I’m thinking about this the wrong way.” He mused to himself. “Perhaps… instead of thinking in terms what could be wrong… I should be thinking of what could be better?” His paw wagged up and down as he spoke. “Gotta think different to act different.” The draconequus shivered at the words, specks of ice falling from his coat as he did so. “Eh, that made too much sense.”

Regardless, Discord snapped his finger, creating once more a flash of light. It summoned a deck of cards in front of him. He clasped them between his forelimbs. Then, with well practiced skill, he began to flick through the deck.

The cards sorted and flipped around in his paw, weaving through the talons of his claw as he expertly shuffled them. He did all of it with a bored expression. Card tricks were, after all, the most overused trick in the book.

“In my hand I hold fifty two,” Discord spoke to himself as he continued to maneuver the cards. “A number that is neither too many nor too few. When I drop this from my hand, the two facing up will be the next in my plan.” The draconequus followed his own words.

The small deck of cards fell the tall distance from his height to the ground, scattering on impact. They flipped and turned in the air, some being taken by the wind and others weighing down one another. It took only a moment, but after that moment, the fifty two cards were lying across the ground on a barren street.

There were only two cards on the ground that were not face down. Discord smiled amused as he spoke their names.

“The Jack and Queen of Clubs,” the draconequus mused at the only two cards remaining face up on the ground. His smile grew wry as his twisted mind began to work. “Clubs are the odd suit, more curves and bends than any other. The jack is a follower who pretends to lead and a queen is a leader who pretends to follow.” His paw slowly beat on the tip of his forehead.

“Now who do I know like that?” His smile nearly broke apart his face.

Then, in a sudden flash of light, he was gone.





A pan fell from Mrs. Cake’s muzzle. Her jaw hung open even as the metal clanged against the ground. The sweets she had placed upon the sheet scattered along the floor, ruining them. However, she nor her husband paid them any mind.

Their eyes were too focused on the draconequus standing in the doorway, smiling down at them with crooked teeth, lips, and eyes.

“Well, good evening Mr. and Mrs. Cake.” Discord offered the greeting kindly, bowing lowly to the two ponies in the treat shop. “I do hope you’ll forgive the intrusion, but I wanted to pay you two a bit of a visit. Oh!” His voice picked up as he saw the sweet treats scattered along the floor. “Ten second rule!”

Their reactions were far less jovial than Discord’s greeting.

“Hello… Discord.” Mrs. Cake spoke for the couple, lightly trotting over to the counter as she did so. “I, um… I don’t suppose you’re here to buy something.” As the mare expected, the draconequus wagged his finger in rejection.

“Sorry, but no. I was actually popping in for a spell. You know how it goes. You get bored, you decide to go out, suppress the urge to cause mass panic and mayhem, the usual.” Both ponies and the draconequus in the store shuddered. Two from the chill of fear, one from the sickening thought of being ordinary. “Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to see the sights, get a new view on the town I was so close to improving before.”

The couple shared nervous look towards one another. Discord watched, enraptured, as Mr. Cake stared as his wife with a visible twitch in his lips, one eye quivering as if fighting off a blink. His wife was in much the situation, except her mannerisms were far more contained. She simply bit on her lips. When the mare of the pair turned back to the draconequus, she began to speak.

“I… I’ll be honest, I never imagined I’d see you in here.” When Discord blinked, she continued. “I just can’t imagine a reason why you’d need us.” The draconequus raised his paw to his forehead, leaning back as if struck.

“Truly?” He spoke in a pained whisper. “You’d think I’d never visit the home of one of my greatest friends? Why, Pinkie Pie can’t stop talking about you two.” The earth ponies exchanged another quick glance to one another. Even with their years of marriage, neither one knew what to tell the other with their short silent conversation. “The girl goes on and on about how you two make some of the best chocolate milk she’s ever had. I was partial to having a taste-- that is, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh!” Mr. Cake spoke up from the kitchen door. “S-Sure thing! I’ll whip up a quick batch of it right now, our treat!” He was gone before his wife or guest could saw a word otherwise, leaving the two alone in the store’s lobby. Discord had to suppress a small chuckle as he heard the pink mare swallow a ball in her throat. No matter how ‘good’ he became, he’d never tire of making such an impact on a pony by presence alone.

“S-So,” Mrs. Cake began with a nervous air. “How… How are you doing today?” Discord smiled kindly to the mare. He may not be used to speaking on such predictable subjects, but if he was to impress Fluttershy, he had to bear a bit of shame. Besides, he reasoned, he would soon be fixing two problems with one snap.

“Oh it’s been a lovely day, thank you for asking.” He smiled deeply and genuinely to her. “I was actually out on a stroll. Being cooped up all day is bad for the scales.” Discord demonstrated his point by peeling away a thin layer of the scales that clung to him. Mrs. Cake held her breath to keep herself from gagging.

“S-So,” she attempted to recover herself. “I take it that you want to see Pinkie? I… Well I think that’s why you’re here, right?” If Discord were just a normal pony, Mrs. Cake would have taken his smile as a sign of affirmation. With the draconequus, she wasn’t sure if she had challenged his stallionhood. When he started speaking, her fears were alleviated.

“Actually, I already spoke with her.” The words surprised the mare. Then again, coming from the master of chaos, she could expect little different. “Ran right into her while I was floating about town. Her attitude was almost cheery enough to make me explode! Fortunately, I did that before she spotted me.” Mrs. Cake swallowed on a ball in her throat.

“Th-then, um…” she fished desperately for a topic. Her husband was due back soon; at least he’d better have been. “You two talked then, right?”

“In fact we did!” Discord spoke pleasantly, snapping his scales back to his body. “It was a pleasant conversation over a nice lunch salad. She had the greens, I had the wood.” The pink mare raised her brows in curiosity, but agreed with her better judgment to not ask the question that came to her mind. She instead asked another.

“What did you two discuss then? I trust it was a nice topic?” The draconequus’s head nodded in affirmation. It was a fierce enough shake to free one of his ears. He caught in his paw before it fell onto the counter.

“So sorry, I have a hard time keeping track of myself sometimes.” The display did not calm the earth pony’s gut, and the words and laughter that followed did little as well. “Actually, we talked about how I could do more… well for lack of a more appropriate word, good.” Mrs. Cake felt her eyes blink.

“Do… good?” The draconequus let out a soft sigh as she said the word.

“Yes, good, helpful stuff basically. Being perfectly honest with you, it’s not my forté.” His mismatched eyes briefly admired his outstretched paw, flipping it over and back with a bored flick. He had mastered that move by now. “But I’ve never been one to enforce the status quo, so it makes sense that, eventually, my harmful nature has got to go.”

The pink mare stared at the large draconequus with a feeling she couldn’t describe.

On one part, her revulsion for a monster that so enjoyed the sickest parts of the world did little good for her mind, heart, or especially her soul. How such a creature such as he was deserving of the power he held was far beyond her.

Then again, Pinkie had taught Mrs. Cake, in her own special way, to always be open to new things. Offering chances to things you didn’t expect was often the only way to be surprised. And, if Discord was genuine with his wish to help others, it would only be in her best interest to encourage him. After all, giving ponies a second chance was what Pinkie Pie was all about. It only made sense that Mrs. Cake took after the mare that had done such a fine job making, and keeping, friends.

“Here’s your chocolate milk, sir!” Mrs. Cake felt a weight slip and fall from her back as her husband trotted back into the room. A tray was sitting on his back, complete with a tall glass of dark brown liquid, straw and cherry included.

“Why that looks exquisite!” Discord complemented, reaching for the tray from the earth pony. He didn’t have time to move or offer the glass alone.

Then, the couple watched in mixed horror and disbelief as the draconequus ripped off pieces of the milk and chewed them like pie. He sipped the tray and glass down in two gulps, licking his lips when he was done. The straw and cherry that remained were thrown behind him and out the stable door. The two grimaced as they heard a soft pop come from outside. They didn’t dare check on what it was.

“So!” Mr. Cake practically screamed as soon as Discord was done. “What were you two talking about?”  Mrs. Cake felt the weight fall back onto her. This time, it had a hogtie on it. She was rather sure it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Why your fine wife and I were just talking about my reformation.” His claw motioned to the mare as he spoke. “It looks like both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie agree that I have to do a few good deeds to stave off my perpetual and likely eternal boredom. The good won’t last forever, but, then again, I will.” Discord was only barely able to hide a deep chuckle as his ears heard the stallion swallow on something.

“W-Well,” he began to speak, eyes scanning the shop desperately for something. Discord, for his part, had no idea what the stallion was planning. And for that, he was curious. And for that, he was interested.

“Our sales are a bit low this month.” Discord snapped his claws without a flash of magic.

“Then are you looking for a few extra bits?” He flipped his lion paw towards the couple, unfurling the digits to reveal an impressive pile of golden bits in his grip. The pair sucked in a quiet breath of air at the sight.

“Or maybe you two are just looking for a few extra ponies in here?” Discord flicked his tail left and right. It grew larger with every swipe. Finally, when it stretched to the room’s opposite wall, the draconequus slowly drew it back towards himself. Like drawing a curtain, ponies began to appear from behind it, each one more shocked than the last.

“Where am I!?” The first shouted in fear.

“Where’d my bathroom go?” The second pony asked, playing with her wet mane.

“Is that Discord!?” The rest of the ponies following the third only began to whimper in fear and shock.

“How’s this?” The Mad God said to the Cakes, paw and claw motioning towards the line of ponies. The couple’s terrified expressions were evidence enough of their displeasure.

With small pout, Discord snapped his claws, making all the ponies in their store disappear. He was so close, too; he did make himself smile.

“Well, how about-” A pair of blue hooves shot into the air before he could finish his thought.

“Wait!” Mrs. Cake shouted at him. Discord blinked in surprise. He wasn’t used to being shouted at. Usually ponies were far too afraid to raise their voice at him. They usually settled for snarls or growls. He didn’t know how to feel about shouting. It was different, but it somehow felt… insulting.

“Look, Mr. Discord,” Mr. Cake spoke, earning the draconequus’s attention. “I… we… yes, we appreciate you trying to help us, but all we really need is just… something to help us sell our sweets… well… better.”

“Better?” Discord spoke for the stallion again. “As in, make them better?”

“No!” Mrs. Cake shouted at him again. The draconequus was quickly becoming annoyed with it. Not a common thing. “We don’t need any help! We… We’re just in a slow month, that’s all.” The mare quickly calmed the more she spoke, deep breaths coming between her words, lowering herself to the floor when she was done. Discord watched her with raised brows.

“Really, I can’t help you at all?” His claw scratched at the edge of his beard. That answer sounded like they wanted him to do nothing. Nothing was predictable, status quo per say. He couldn’t walk away form that easily. “Oh, I think I can do something.”

“Discord,” Mr. Cake spoke again. “Short of causing mass mayhem, there isn’t much you can do to help us.” The words made the draconequus smile broadly.

The action did not go unseen.

“What did I say?” Mrs. Cake took notice of the tinge of regret in her husband’s voice. Her gaze rapidly shifted from him to the tall draconequus standing across the counter.

“Why the perfect idea in fact!” The draconequus announced with his paw to the air. “Why it kills three birds with one spell!” He flicked his scaly wrist at the words. “Mayhem is what I do best, but there are so many different kinds of mayhem! Who says it has to be destructive?”

“W-what do you mean?” Mrs. Cake felt her legs begin to shake as Discord’s forelimbs started to rotate like he was getting ready for something. She just knew it.

“The only common ground to mayhem is that it’s impossible to look away from. It doesn’t have to destroy anything, not even, unfortunately, the normalcy of your lives. But!” He flicked his paw up as he spoke. A trail white dust flung off his furry index finger as he did so. “And honestly here, I can’t think of a better way to make your business boom that to give it a bit of…”

His tongue rolled around his lips as he thought, eyes doing the same around his lids. It was odd, and a bit disturbing to the Cake parents, to watch his eyes and tongue roll around in opposite directions. But then, with a snap of his claw, they fell back into place. A satisfied smile draped over his crooked lips.

“Pizazz!”  Another snap, then Discord’s favorite state of affairs came to life.

Chaos.

What the cakes expected was a bang or two, perhaps with a bit of flash of or display of confetti. It was the least of what Pinkie Pie had prepared them for. It was also just as likely that the Mad God would simply hang a dozen too many ribbons around the shop. It would be something between the subtle Fluttershy and flamboyant Pinkie. What they didn’t expect was what they should have.

Their pastry treats came to life and to started dancing around the shop.

The pies started to spin into the air, flying like Frisbees. The cakes started to dance, bouncing up and down in their metal pans across the counters and high display shelves in the shop. The cupcakes started to tango with one another, spinning around in small groups in a dizzy display that didn’t’ just capture, but enraptured, the eye.

That wasn’t to mention the sprinkles that rained down on the undecorated cupcakes, giving them a swirling pattern like rainbows. It wasn’t even paying mind to the clouds of whip cream the pies were flying through. And it definitely wasn’t even noticing the fruits and icing that seemed to grow on the dancing cakes.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were left slack jawed as their food literally danced, grew, and rained around them. The crowd that started to appear in front of their store would have only been shocked if it was there at all.

“Well, I guess my job here is done!” Discord spoke merrily over the clanging pots, pans, and other holders for their sweets. “Do let me know how the crowd enjoys the show. Now you two enjoy the sales!” With a bark of laughter, the draconequus was gone in flash of white.





“Ugh!” A pegasus grunted as her side hit a stray cloud. Her lips snarled at the puffy substance. “Dang it! You just messed up my trick.” She pointed a hoof at the offensive puff of white vapor. “Quit screwin’ up my tricks dang it!” She huffed at the cloud before turning around and flying back into the sky.

Rainbow Dash scowled at nothing as she flapped her wings through the sky. She squinted up into the deep blue as her speed began to increase. There wasn’t a cloud ahead of her now. Everything that could possibly mess up her trick was far beneath her, floating around for other pegasi to manage or dissipate.

She had something more important to focus on.

Dash felt the air around her getting a bit thinner, the only sign the pegasus needed to know she was reaching the height she had to. Her wings stopped flapping by her command, slowing her ascent.

Then came the euphoria.

Many ponies who thought of the Rainbow Dash thought of a mare who loved to fly, who loved to go fast, and who loved to go her own way. They were right, of course, but there was another reason why she loved to do all those things.

Her friends may have been able to guess it, but none of them actually knew it. When a pegasus stops flapping their wings, they fall. And falling, as Rainbow Dash would eloquently put it, sucked. However, if you fell in the right way, you didn’t fall down. What Rainbow Dash loved about flying was the way she made herself fall.

Rainbow Dash loved to be suspended.

As she was now, hanging at the height of her flight without moving. Neither going up nor down, left or right. Just hanging in the air without a sound to interrupt her or force to sway her. In all honestly, it was bliss.

Then, with a slow release of air, the pegasus began to drop down again.

Her wings were held out to their fullest length, guiding the mare as she descended with speed. The wind began to whip at her, threading through her prismatic mane and flowing through her feathers. Like a massage only nature could give, the pegasus enjoyed the fall as much as the ascent. She loved the suspension, but she was no further away from loving the speed.

But time passed quickly when you fell without restraint, and now, Dash knew the ground was fast approaching. She had maybe… ten seconds until impact. That was plenty of time. She took in a breath of air, pulled her head back, and enjoyed the last few seconds of freefall she had left. Then, with a quick flap of her wings, her descend started to slow.

Then Rainbow Dash hit another cloud.

The mare’s perspective was heavily skewed as she spun through the air, one wing clipped and forced close while the other flapped madly to control herself. Too used to situations like this, Rainbow could only growl in annoyance as her focus was heavily spun.

She felt her body impact another cloud, but this time, it stopped her solid. For the moment of peace she had, she thought about being thankful that it was a cloud she landed on and not the ground. The notion was quickly thrown away. A cloud did mess up her fall, er… trick.

“Ugh,” she groaned as she opened her eyes, staring up into the blue sky above her. White puffs hung at the edges of her vision. “Wonder how far that was?” The pegasus rolled over the cushion surface of the cloud, turning to see the ground beneath her. What she was looking for was a rough guess of how close she was to the ground.

What she got instead was the full view of a large crowd gathered beneath her

“Huh?” Dash spoke as her eyes landed on the group of ponies. Normally, they’d be looking up at her awesome tricks, wishing they could fly half as good as she could. But right now, they weren’t looking up at her at all. They were looking at some store.

Curiosity took over Rainbow Dash as she began to descend. She was sure there were no new shops opening up, not without Rarity giving her an earful about what they would be selling. The same thing went for any new ponies. If there was a new pony in town, there would have been an invitation from Pinkie Pie to boot. The two always went hoof in hoof.

However, once she was floating above the heads of the ponies beneath her, the reason for the crowd’s gathering became rather obvious.

Mostly due to one of the many flying pies landing square on her muzzle.

Rainbow held her position in the air as the metal tin of the pie slowly fell from her face. She felt the gooey center slide over her coat, sticking to it possessively and doubtlessly staining her fibers the color of the fruit. By the small amount she tasted, it was blueberry. At least it wouldn’t be too noticeable. That little bit of knowledge didn’t keep the scowl from her face as the pan finally fell away.

“Alright!” Dash yelled, earning the immediate attention of the ponies beneath her. “Who’s the prankster here?!” Her hoof jabbed at her face as she spoke. “Somepony’s gonna pay for-”

“Rainbow!” The pegasus stopped as her voice was called. She looked down towards the front of the crowd, looking at a pair of ponies jumping in the air with their hooves waving back and forth. Dash recognized them almost instantly.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake?” She spoke their name uncertainly, hovering down closer to the pair. “What in the name of Celestia is going o-” Rainbow never got any further.

Once she was within distance, the shop pair grabbed her with two pairs of forehooves, dragging her back into the shop and closing the door behind her. The pegasus’s perception returned to her quickly, only for it to be questioned by what she saw.

Her jaw was open to speak, but was too mesmerized by the sweet treats dancing around the shop. She shut her wings and landed on the ground for fear of getting the clouds of sprinkles mixed into her feathers, or getting another pie to the face. But no matter how long she looked at the display, she still found it hard to remember just why she had come here.

“Rainbow!” Oh yeah, that’s why. “Thank goodness you’re here!” The pony pair were right in front of the pegasus, both of their hooves pushing on her shoulders. “We were worried we’d be stuck with this mess for the rest of the week!” Mrs. Cake nearly shouted at Dash.

Ever the calm mare, collected and thoughtful of what she did, Dash put her forehooves up to the two sets holding her, took in a deep breath and lowered the two with her athletic strength. Then, with a calm collected mind, she spoke to the pair in a gentle, restrained tone.

“I’ll ask again,” she began. “WHAT IN THE NAME OF LUNA IS GOING ON?!?!”

The flying pastries stopped for a moment. The Cake couple felt their fur blown back by the noise. Dash took heavy breaths of air as she tried to calm herself down. It didn’t take long for the pastries to start flying again.

“Okay, okay,” the pegasus spoke in between her breathes. “I’m good, it’s good, sort of good. Now,” her pink eyes looked to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “Can you guys tell me just what is going on here?”

“Discord.” Mrs. Cake didn’t leave any room for tact. “Discord did this.”

Dash felt like putting her hoof to her head. Of course it was Discord. She didn’t know a unicorn who would enjoy this kind of stuff. Maybe an earth pony or two, but no unicorn and definitely no pegasi. Not enough room to fly.

“Alright, Discord did this, not too shocked here.” Rainbow scoffed as she talked. “But I’ll give the guy what I can. He doesn’t do this stuff without a reason, even if it does make about as much sense as cotton candy clouds.”

“Oh, well,” Mr. Cake began to speak, one of his forehooves running up and down the coat of his leg. “He did come in here earlier… and I may have told him that… business was slow…”

As Mrs. Cake was talking, Rainbow put the pieces together in her head and it clicked.

“No, wait, let me guess.” Dash interrupted as she held up one of her hooves. “He took that as an invitation to mess things up for the ‘better’, am I right?” The two nodded at her words, though the yellow stallion seemed less than pleased with admitting his fault. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“So… you knew he would do this?” Mrs. Cake asked with a raised brow. She tucked soon after she rose it, avoiding a saucer of pie as she did so.

“Ye-no,” Dash shook her head, just after sarcastically preparing herself to say yes. “I know the dude well enough to know he’s looking for any little thing to mess with. What he does with it, I doubt either Luna or Celestia knows.” The mare she spoke to her cocked her head while nodding. Dash sighed afterwards.

“So, um… I hate to ask this, but,” Mr. Cake started to speak, but Rainbow was ten paces ahead of him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll find Discord and set him straight. I’m sure he just needs a reminder of who’s in charge.” Her head began to bob up and down, ideas of how the confrontation with the draconequus would play out. “It’ll take no time at all.”

“That’s… how long now?” Mrs. Cake questioned innocently. Dash, however, took it like a challenge.

“Hey, I’m the Rainbow Dash!” The cyan pegasus spoke triumphantly as she struck a proud pose. “I’ll get this done in… 10 minutes flat!”

Before either pony could say a word of question or protest, Dash was gone in a blue blur, their doorway bell ringing violently in protest to her escape. The crowd of ponies outside the door had a path cleared through them, most of the ponies lying on the ground with dumbstruck expressions.

“Think she’s going to be back soon?” Mrs. Cake whispered to her husband as she stared out the door. Said stallion opened his mouth to respond.

A cake landed on top of Mr. Cake’s head.

The crowd began to snicker in laughter.

“I don’t know, but this is gonna be a looong day.” Mrs. Cake nodded her head in agreement with her husband.
> You're Never Going To See It Coming
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well there’s another set of ponies down. I wonder how many that leaves to go?” Discord mused as he floated through the air, backstroking his paw and claw as he kicked his legs. The air was just the right temperature for a swim. “Maybe it should be three. Three down and three to go. Just enough order in the chaos to keep those uptight ponies happy.”

He turned the in air, turning his backstroke into a breaststroke. He made a few reps with his limbs, the ponies beneath him staring up in utter confusion. Discord smiled wistfully down to them, charmed by their blank looks and terrified features.

“Oh, the small things,” the draconequus mused as he let his tail start to propel him forward. “When it’s too much to ask for a world completely consumed by chaos, you have to learn to appreciate the oddities. They’re what get you by.” His forelimbs swung around his body in opposite directions, causing him to spin in slow circles through the air.

He deeply enjoyed the sights of his twisted whims brought to life. Watching clouds spin into houses, that melded into ponies, that twisted into grass, up into trees, and then finally back to the clouds again. It all tickled at his heartstrings. The changing sights would sicken most ponies, but to Discord it was the best kind of therapy he could ever ask for. It kept his mind active, twisted, and, most importantly, certain in its perceptiveness. Like the black and white striped pony currently walking down the road.

Discord stopped spinning on a bit.

His mismatched eyes stared at the alien pony, taking in details completely new to him in every which way. Her mane was buzzed and cut, her coat stripped in clashing colors-- enough jewelry hanging from her neck to completely hide it-- and her cutie mark looked like it was a natural part of her coat. Aside from the four legs, head, mane, and tail, she looked different from any pony Discord has seen before. It was like love at first sight.

He popped out of existence in midair, shocking the ponies who were beneath him. When he shined back into existence, it caused a stall in the mare he appeared in front of. Her cerulean eyes stared up at him in a shock, taken aback by his sudden appearance. Any moment now, she would take a few steps back, turn tail and run screaming. Discord could see it happening now.

To the shock, and joy, of the draconequus, all the pony did was walk around the taller being, not paying him any mind.

“Playing hard to get?” Discord mockingly asked as he walked side by side with the pony, easily matching her pace. “I’ve never been so complimented in my life! Would you care for a bushel of flowers?” He lowered his paw to the front of the mare, causing her pace to slow, but not stop. With a knowing grin, Discord flipped his paw in a quick circle.

Instantly a set of flowers, or, what could just barely pass as flowery vegetation, appeared in his hands. Their stems were reversed, petals surrounded by pistils, and, to top it all off, sunlight was being shone from their leaves. The pony stared at them with a gaze that bordered on suspension, but was more than home in repulsion.

“I call them reverse petunias,” his voice spoke cheerily to the striped mare. “They’re good for the skin.” The pony turned her cheek and began to walk around him once more. Discord wasn’t merely amused, he was enraptured. He dropped the flowers to the ground, not minding as they quickly dissolved into the grass.

“The hardest fish to catch is the greatest prize of a fisher,” he spoke aloud, taking to the air above the striped pony. “And to a draconequus who has it all, walking away from the one pony that ignores me simply cannot be done.” He landed in front of the mare again, staring down at her with his mismatched eyes.  She stared up at him with a defiant gaze. It felt like his heart was on fire. The smoke coming from his nostrils was proof of that.

Then, to Discord’s great pleasure, she spoke.

“Discord, you creature of tricks. Leave me be before I must deliver some kicks.”

The draconequus’s lips practically split his face with the smile they made. It was at least wide enough to make his tooth fall out, much to the foreign zebra’s disgust. Without any worry, however, Discord knelt down and plucked the tooth from the ground, pushing it back into place.

“Do pardon me,” he spoke easily. “It’s just so hard to keep track of myself when I come across new faces. And I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you before. And, believe me, I’ve been almost everywhere. That leaves me with the obvious questions.” Discord snapped his claw. In a flash he appeared beside the zebra, one of his arms leaning against the smaller creature. She bared his weight with a scowl.

“Tell me, if you don’t mind, who are you and where did you come from?” While he leaned on her with one arm, his claw proceeded to lightly wrap across her forehead, each talon deftly tapping on the bone. “And why is it the first thing you say to me is an insult. That’s just rude you know.”

“I speak only the truth, as I have known you since my youth.” Nothing short of bravely, the zebra twisted her head from the draconequus’s grasp, pushing his weight off of her as she trotted forward. She was quick to turn and face him. He continued to lean on the open air, wrapping around empty space. “I am Zecora, hailing from the Everfree. You are Discord, a servant to all that should never be.” Her words only made the draconequus smile broadly, a dark chuckle passing by his lips.

“Zecora is it--such a different name. You know I like things that are different. It means they're not normal, and I’m sure we can both agree that normal is just so boring these days.” With no preparation or patience, Discord gripped the top of his head with his great lion paw. He plucked his own head from his shoulders. Zecora watched on in silent mortification.

He extended his arm outwards, head still in its grasp. Said head yawned greatly as he did so. Then with a toss, the head sailed through the air, landing at the zebra’s hooves. Zecora backpedaled from it, lips snarling in disgust at the thing. It stopped shortly after it hit the ground, landing with its mismatched eyes facing the other creature.

“And coming from the Everfree too, that explains why I might not know you. After all, why should I bother to mess with a place that’s already so different. And you live there to boot!” As if issuing a command, Discord’s body took two steps forward and kicked his head, letting it sail upwards into the air. It landed on his shoulders flawlessly. He smiled down at the zebra, as if the trick was a show. There was no applause.

“I live where the land provides, far away from prying eyes. If such lands kept you at bay, it is only one more reason why I should stay.” The zebra stared up at him with defiant eyes. Discord just let his paw and claw leap for his chest, a pained expression washing over his features.

“Oh the pain!” He mockingly cried as he reached outwards with his claw. His body became rigid, holding perfectly still. Then, like a wind was blown, he began to fall backwards. He did so right into a freshly dug grave, complete with an unmarked tombstone. Zecora gasped in shock. “Just bury me now and get it over with,” he called from beneath the ground. “And please, in that order.” For not the first time, and not nearly for the last, the pony was not amused.

“Arise from your false grave, you’re no creature that needs to be saved.” A chuckle came from beneath the earth. A moment later, a bright flash lit the air, blinding the zebra. She raised her hoof against the light, only to feel it disappear soon after she had. When Zecora could see again, she saw Discord standing in front of her once more, not a hair, tooth, or eye out of place. It was odd checking for such things with a creature such as him.

“I do hope you enjoyed the show. It was all improv by the way, in case you couldn’t tell.” His smile was far more tamed, but Zecora as not playing his game.

“Enough!” She cried at the draconequus, successfully silencing the Spirit of Disharmony. “I came to town for supplies and tools. I did not venture in to see a fool.” Zecora turned from him, flicking her tail as she left. She had no desire to turn around.

“Ooh! Maybe I can help then.” The zebra didn’t bother to turn her head to know the Mad God was floating just beside her, doubtlessly testing her already strained patience. “You know I can make anything happen with just a flick of my wrist or snap of my claws. It really is much easier than trekking through this bore of a town.”

“Any deal with you will not help my brew.” She turned her gaze from Discord even as she spoke. Her golden eyes were focused on the path far ahead of her. Zecora may have lived in the Everfree, but she had ventured into Ponyville far more than once before. Discord, however, chuckled beside her.

She heard the flash of his magic. Then she felt a light weight perch on her head. She sucked in a low breath, already knowing what it was. But, as if to make sure she completely understood, Discord tapped his now miniature hand on the zebra’s forehead. He sat on her head, now a tenth of his normal size.

“Oh come now, don’t be a spoilsport.” The miniature draconequus jeered, leaning over one side of her mane as he looked down at her. “Besides, I made a promise to a, oh wow these words still taste like year old cider, good friend of mine not to do any harm to any pony.” He felt his ride slow her pace until she came to a complete stop. Then he was promptly thrown from her head by a wicked thrashing. In another flash of magic, he was standing in front of her, full sized and grinning. Zecora was not smiling, but neither was she scowling.

“You speak of the mare named Fluttershy, the pegasus who fears flying high in the sky?” Discord chuckled lowly at the rhythmic scheme to her speech. It was so positively rare he couldn’t help but love it.

“I do indeed,” he confirmed as he bowed to match the ponies height. “She took notice of my boredom these past two days and put me to task with helping other ponies around and about town. Technically you live around town, and you’re currently about it, so you qualify twice over!” His cheer was met with little enthusiasm from the zebra.

Zecora stared at the misshaped and draconequus currently thrusting his muzzle against her nose. She had heard much about Discord, and had read even more in the tales of old. A tricker, a deceiver, and a master of twisted arts. There was no creature or spirit alive in the past, present, or the approaching future that could match his chaotic ways. It was only too fortunate, and too odd, that he now proclaimed to help others.

Every part of her told her to deny this twisted being his wish, to let Discord simply attempt to annoy her further for the remainder of her visit. It would be the wise choice, and most likely the correct choice. However, no matter how honeyed his words appeared to be, the Mad God was a creature of deception, not lies. She, Zecora, a master of the use of words, could think of no obvious way the draconequus could twist the words of his good deeds.

Fluttershy was the key. Using the mare that was now in charge of his reformation would cast a line of thinking that would be easy to see false leads trailing from. Saying that the pegasus had asked him to do good with his magic was a thing she could not easily find false truths stemming from. Nor could she see any truly heinous or undermining acts that would be the root of such a declaration. That left only one gnarled root that would turn his words and actions to a path she did not wish to see.

“Within the Everfree, very little comes easy to me. Most of the goods I need come from here, if need be, for a fee. But these trips are too frequent for my time, often times feeling much like a climb. Simply, I have many tasks that need to be done,” Zecora spoke carefully, a wry eye watching the joyful expression across Discord’s muzzle. “How would you help me, if only with one?”

Discord beat the ends of his large pawed fingers over his chin, looking down at the zebra with mismatched eyes. His crooked and twisted form remained oddly still as his mind worked, doubtlessly in ways that Zecora would not even wish to understand. Then, with a brightness in his eyes the striped mare recognized, he snapped his fingers and vanished into thin air.

He reappeared next to her, arcing over her body with his paw to the ground and claw hanging just in front of him. The crooked lips and smile over his face were just a breath’s length from Zecora’s muzzle.

“Since I feel doing things in order is completely inappropriate, the only sensible thing is to do all your tasks at once.” He held up a single digit of his claw as he spoke. His words, however, were already traveling down a path Zecora did not like. “With my magic, there are many outs you can take, be it a larger pouch or perhaps even a larger mouth.” The zebra had no idea what he was speaking of. The draconequus’s features fell flat as carved boards as he answered the unspoken question. “Give me a break, I don’t rhyme as much as you do.”

In a flash he was gone and out of her sight. Zecora whirled once in search of him, spotting not hide, hair, nor scale of the Mad God. That was until another flash caught the edge of her vision. She turned to see him standing in a vacant lot, free of any ponies, carts, or homes. He was rubbing his paw and claw together at a pace that gave the zebra a raised brow. Smoke was beginning to billow from the action.

“So how do you make it simple to do all your tasks at once, you may ask? Well, the answer is rather clear.” His two forelimbs separated, expanding until they were held far apart from one another. In between them sat a proud and mischievous smile.

“You bring them all together!”

His paw and claw met again with a thundering clap, accompanied quickly by a blinding light. Zecora instantly brought her foreleg up to her eyes, keeping the infuriating brightness from damaging her retinas. But even with her lids shut and a mass of muscle, fur, and skin covering them, her eyes could still see the light of Discord’s magic. A uncomfortable grunt left the zebra’s lips, complete with grit teeth and  flexed muscles.

Then in the next instant the light was gone, taking with it the need for the zebra to shield her gaze. However, she kept her hoof where it was.

She was never one to deny the world what it was, but she was hesitant to accept the workings and results of pure magic. Whatever was now in front of her, either around, above, or even beneath Discord was something the zebra doubted with all her heart and soul she would enjoy.

But only a foal would shut out the world by hiding their sight with their legs, and Zecora was no foal.

Swallowing on what she knew would be a precious pocket of air, the zebra slowly lowered her foreleg. She grimaced as she opened her eyes with squinted lids. As soon as she saw the draconequus’s work, her eyes shot open, golden irises starring in unabashed disbelief. The crowd around her did much the same.

Standing tall and still in the once vacant lot was Zecora’s home.

She knew instantly it was her home and not some well-done replica or mirage. The leaves billowed in perfect tune with the wind. A small puff of cloud drifted into the leaves, separating and dissipating as it did so. Her carved ornaments and wards hung from the branches, swinging in the exact pattern she had arranged them in. Looking through the window, she could even see the brew she was letting steep steam.

The clincher for the zebra, however, was the draconequus standing next to the carved tree. Clapping his palm and claw together, he dusted off the work his chaotic magic had cast. The smile across his twisted lips bordered on satisfaction, but Zecora saw its true home to be in insanity.

“Well, that took a bit more magic than I expected.” Discord placed his asymmetrical digits on his slender hips, mismatched eyes critiquing his own work. It was biasedness of the highest order. “The tree’s alive, everything’s the same, and your new home is all set to go. And, to top it all off, I kept myself from going to pieces.”

As he finished his declaration, his draconic tail began to fall apart, chunks landing on the ground in an ungracious manner. Zecora would have winced in abjection if her eyes were not glued on her misplaced home.

“Close enough for me,” Discord spoke again. “Not whole or empty, the subtle kind of chaos.” He chuckled darkly to himself. “Oh, but I can see you are just awestruck with my work. No need to thank me now. Just appreciate my good work and enjoy your day.”

Before Zecora could say, or more accurately, scream a word of protest, Discord vanished in another flash of light.

When the light died, he was nowhere to be seen.

The zebra continued to stare at her misplaced home, unsure of what to do, but not unaware of the crowd around her.





As soon as Twilight saw the flash of light from across Ponyville, she knew where to go. Also, completely coincidentally, as soon as she starting running towards the source of the light, she wished for not the first time she knew how to operate her new wings properly. Her hooves beat against the ground as she galloped through the ponies and carts, weaving between them with the prize in her mind’s eye.

It didn’t take a pony of her intellectual caliber to figure out that a large display of light like the one she had seen was magic, and any foal from Trottingham to Dodge Junction would be able to figure out that that Discord loved showing off his magic. Putting two and two together, Twilight knew exactly where she had to go.

What she didn’t expect, however, was the rainbow trail growing next to her.

“Dash?” She spoke the name like a question, nearly shouting it between her breaths. The trail of prismatic colors slowed in its growth, shrinking until its front end flew next to the galloping alicorn. Twilight twisted her head and saw the familiar face.

“Twilight?” Dash spoke, surprised. Confusion was more than evident in her pink eyes. “Why are you in such a rush?” If she had the time, Twilight would have let out a bark of laughter.

“You’re not going to believe it,” she began, alternating her vision on the pegasus beside her and the crowd she continued to bob and weave through. “But Discord is starting to become his old self again.” When Twilight saw Dash’s eyes widen in shock, she assumed it was a clear sign her news was not only unexpected, but unwanted. What she didn’t expect was Rainbow’s response.

“No way! That’s exactly why I’m trying to find him!” The alicorn almost tripped over her hooves mid-gallop. She caught herself before her muzzle was dragged through the dirt. “He went and messed with the Cakes’ stuff at Sugarcube Corner. They’ve got pies, cakes, and frosting raining from the freaking ceiling!” Twilight blinked before she answered.

“According to Mrs. Pinto, he sent Little Pip on a one way adventure deep outside Ponyville!” The pegasus’s wings almost snapped outwards. Fortunately, the trained athlete kept herself from another crash landing.

“He did what?!” Dash yelled in disbelief.

“Well, no pony saw him do it,” Twilight confessed, but was followed quickly with her deduction. “But all the evidence points towards him, and there is no arguing that Pip is gone, at least according to his mother.”

“Oh horseapples,” Dash lightly cursed, glancing ahead as the pair made a turn. “We’ve gotta find him ASAP. Who knows what he’s going to do next?”

It was as if another spirit of chaos was playing with fate in that moment.

After the galloping alicorn and flying pegasus turned another sharp corner, they came to what they knew to be ground zero for the large flash of light. Instead of a crowd gathered around a gray pony or a monument to some chaotic feat, they found both together.

They found Zecora standing in front of her home, in the middle of Ponyville, far from the Everfree forest.

Dash’s flank hit the ground in shock. Twilight’s jaw swayed uselessly beneath her. The hushed silence over the crowd around them was the only evidence the pair needed to know, if passively, that their shock was not unshared.

“Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash?” They heard Zecora speak, turning to face them with an uncharacteristic look of pleading upon her features. If there was ever a mare they expected to show such a face, the zebra was not that creature. “So you have arrived at last.”

“Zecora…” Twilight dumbly spoke, mind still reeling from the sight of the carved and decorated tree in front of her. “What… How?” Her head shook as she spoke, her mind half-knowing the answer to the question she barely asked, the other half adamantly hoping against it.

“Discord, right?” Rainbow spoke next to her, her blunt nature unsharpened by the actions thus far. If anything they dulled her already crass behavior.

“Yes, it was he whom you named.” The zebra spoke, and Twilight could not ignore the clear bite that was present in her words. It would have hurt if those words were directed at either of the pair. Fortunately, they were meant for a creature far older, larger, and more wicked than either of them combined. “Though now I am the one who is shamed.” Those words shook Twilight from her reverie.

“Wha-shamed?” Twilight asked the foreign pony. “I admit this is… completely unnatural, but how did he shame you?” Zecora scoffed to the side before she answered the alicorn.

“I believed my wit to be above his, believing his words and hoping it would not come to this.” Her hoof motioned towards her home, still garnering an impressive amount of attention from the ever-growing crowd of ponies. “His is a creature of deceit, from which he has caused many defeats. However, lies are not often rules in his game. I assumed such knowledge would make his plans plain.”

“Trying to outsmart… Discord,” Twilight began slowly. “Trying to outsmart a spirit, who has been alive for thousands of years, capable of magical feats not even the princesses can match, nearly omniscient and omnipotent. Trying to outsmart… him.” Against the pale strips of her coat, it was impossible to not see the hot blush run across Zecora’s muzzle.

“It… Such thoughts did not… my mind did not think of what once was, merely…” Her voice trailed off with her gaze, looking to sights that did not remind her of the trickery Discord had pulled over her. There were few her golden eyes could see. “I had hoped he would break no laws.”

“Not your brightest moment there, Z.” Dash finally spoke up, earning the gaze of the two mares.

The pegasus, however, was still highly focused on the tree home. It was odd, to be fair, seeing a tree of the Everfree sprouting in the middle of Ponyville without even a sapling to warn of its growth. There were fires that burned slower than the appearance of the zebra’s home.

“I confess once more, my own actions I abhor.” Zecora dropped her head in what the alicorn could only describe as shame. Whether it be from the weight of her actions or the consequences, Twilight could not tell. “Now I merely wish to have this magic undone, and not with another act that creature could call fun.”

“What does that make this?” Dash asked, finally diverting her fish eyed gaze from the carved and hollow tree. “A hat trick, right?”

“Yes,” Twilight agreed with a nod of her head. “Pip, the Cakes, and now Zecora…” Her eyes trailed with her mind, following a path neither the pegasus or zebra could follow. “And it’s highly unlikely Discord will simply stop at three.” Her head shook with her words. “No, but… it’s impossible to predict what he’ll do.”

“Until we find him, that is.” Dash’s ode of confidence was met with her flared wings, standing to her tallest stature and wearing a look that bore more confidence than her smiles ever could. “C’mon Twi, we gotta catch him before he messes with something else.” The pegasus was in mid-turn as she spoke, motioning with her wing for the alicorn to follow. Twilight nodded in agreement.

“We’ll find him and get him to return your home back to the forest,” the alicorn spoke reassuringly to the still shaken Zecora. Her confidence eroded quickly under the pleading golden irises of the zebra facing her. “Just… hold on. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah!” Dash spoke with far more assurance than the newly-crowned princess. “Between the two of us, we’ll have things sorted out in ten seconds flat.” Said alicorn was quick to correct her friend.

“Closer to ten minutes, airing on the side of increased time given Discord’s ability to outmaneuver most attempts of contact…” Twilight felt her wings fidget next to her sides. She hated how they told others what she was feeling. Rainbow, thankfully, caught on quick.

“Yeah, okay, point is, we’ll be back soon.” She put a hoof around the alicorn’s back, leading the mare away from the still impressively placed home. “Hang tight, Z!” Before the zebra could say anything in return, the pegasus started to flap her muscled wings, half dragging and half pushing the alicorn in the grasp of her foreleg. It didn’t take long for the zebra to lose them in the crowd.

When they were gone, Zecora turned to see her house once more. No longer surrounded by the dense foliage of the Everfree forest, but now flanked by two thatched-roof homes and a crowd of ponies unfamiliar with the sight. She could not blame them, for she was not used to it either. More than one part of her hoped she wouldn’t have to become used to it.

“While I wait on those two, what am I to do?” Only a few ponies in the crowd around her home heard Zecora’s words. None of them had an answer for her. A tired sigh left the zebra’s lips. The day was still young, but it already felt as if it had been dragged on too long.

“Life in Ponyville is never a bore, and they wonder why I ask for no more.”
> Ya'll Crazy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That was a good one!” Discord congratulated himself, twisting on his cotton candy cloud. His paw reached behind his head to fluff the flying treat, pulling out a few shards of glass to munch on as he did so. He loved the bite. “I was thinking of giving her a few extra heads, maybe another set of hooves, but moving her home? That was definitely a winner!”

A deep breath filled his lungs, inflating his thin torso to an almost balloon like shape. He exhaled the air with a mighty fwoosh, blowing away the clouds in the sky. A lone Pegasus below watched  the sky, slack-jawed, his rump falling to the ground at the display.

“Oh, but now that means something else has to be done, and I need another pony or two or three who need a helping hoof to make it happen.” His brows waggled as he spoke, earning a curious stare from a pacing couple. It didn’t bother the draconequus in the slightest. He was used to the odd stares; in fact he was fond of them.

“Now, where can I find another pony needed, preferably a couple of them. One trick for the price of two.” His paw lightly beat at the end of his chin, his thoughts progressing down the usual broken and twisted track. That was, until, it was harshly derailed.

“There he is!”

The sudden shout from behind made the draconequus freeze.

He twisted his head with a paw, spinning it until his eyes were facing backwards but body forwards. For most ponies, the sight would have made them cringe, giving him a more than ample amount of time to make a few witty comments or deceptive remarks.

To the two ponies standing and flying behind him, however, running from him was the last thing they’d do. It was impossible for the Mad God to contain his broad grin. Quite literally, it split his face in two.

“Oh, they’ll do.” He muttered in barely-suppressed glee. His tongue ran over the rim of his stretched lips, pulling the thin linings of skin back to his long face. As much as he loved to let his mouth run, he couldn’t very well let it wander.

“What are you up to, Discord?” The lavender alicorn asked, her brow creased and head lowered. If she were of any capable of physical strength, the horn pointing at the draconequus might have been threatening. As it was now, it was just cute.

“Me?” The draconequus returned, placing his paw over the slim form of his curved body. “Why, I think I’m about up to the roof of a few of these buildings, though that may be being generous. I dare say I tower over a some of the homes.” His dark chuckle was made in solitude.

“Hey, careful. You know what she means,” the pegasus hovering in the air shot back, her gaze far more vicious than the alicorn next to her. Where the signs of aggression from the alicorn were simply adorable to Discord, the harsh and commanding words of the cyan mare were just laughable.

At least Twilight had a bit of spark behind her horn. Dash had only nothing but the sky in, on, and about her mind.

“You’re right my dear Rainbow Dash,” Discord responded with a slight bob of his head. “I really must apologize, my head simply gets away from me when I have something on my mind that I can’t afford to forget.”

As if given a cue, which it doubtlessly was, the Mad God’s head popped from his shoulders, rolling down the back of his slytherin form before falling to the ground. The mares looked from the disembodied head to the beheaded body, unsure of which to address. It was an odd though. They were so used to the antics of the draconequus that they were more concerned with how to address him than what parts of his body to address.

“See what I mean?” He supplied to the ponies, his lips moving as his shoulders shrugged. “It’s hard to keep track of myself sometimes.” His claw snapped its talons, creating a flash of light the two onlookers were more than familiar with. When the luminescence died away, Discord was one being again, complete with his mismatched eyes, forelimbs, hindlegs, and miniature wings.

“Look buddy,” Dash spoke lowly, her wings moving her closer the powerful deity. “We just got done meeting with a few ponies who crossed paths with you. Let’s just say that they’re less than thrilled.”

“Really?” Discord responded honestly, resting the elbow of his claw in the paw of his lion-like appendage. “How so?”

“You mean why they were angry and terrified?” Twilight clarified, marching the short distance necessary to match the floating pegasus’ distance from the Mad God. “Well, it certainly couldn’t have anything to do with sending a foal barely old enough to feed himself out to Celestia knows where. It certainly has little to do with making the food and pastries of an entire store decide to imitate precipitating weather formations. And, obviously, it has almost no relation with the act of moving a mare’s home to what can only be described as the center of town, a mare that values her privacy, let me remind you.”

“Oh do calm down dear, there’s no reason to remind me of anything.” Discord’s claw lightly knocked on his noggin. “Believe it or not, I have a rather solid mind. Nothing gets out once it gets in. Though to be fair, I haven’t cleaned it up in…” His voice trailed off as his claw decided to grasp the top of his skull.

Like opening the lid on a bottle, he opened the top of his head, hanging the top of his skull from the back of his horns like a hinge. Twilight and Rainbow watched with barely contained disgust as his claw reached into the confines of his skull, grabbing at something they didn’t want to see. Their fears, and horror, were alleviated when instead of a better part of his mind, Discord produced an analog clock.

He held the device up to his mismatched eyes, reading the time as his head snapped close, a small of flash of light sealing the bone like a tomb.

“Looks like the last time I took a dive to freshen up the place was half past never.” He shrugged, again, tossing the metallic clock into the air. Then hands along its face grew wings, flapping up and into the blue sky above. Dash watched it go, perhaps noting where it was in order to chase it down later. Twilight, however, kept her attention solely focused on the Mad God.

“Stop trying to talk your way out of this, Discord,” Twilight accused again. “You promised us you were reformed.”

“And I am.” The draconequus held up both of his forelimbs as he spoke. “Honest as the sky is blue.”

“Then what the hay are you doing?” Dash asked, a snarl hanging from the edges of her lips. “Going around and basically turning things upside down. That sounds a lot like the old you, in other words, not cool at all.”

“Hey now, just because I’m helping these ponies out doesn’t mean I have to do it your typical fashion.” Discord put his paw and claw to his hips as she spoke. His head waved left and right as he spoke. “I made a compromise with Fluttershy about it, so I don’t need to put with any of your sass.”

His claw snapped in the air, thrice.

No magic was performed, but the mares were left stunned and speechless, regardless.

“Huh… wha-?” Dash absently spoke, mouth unable to close her thoughts beginning to process. She got further than Twilight, however, who merely stared at the draconequus with unsure eyes and jumbled thoughts.

The two mares exchanged a look with one another. Twilight shook her head slowly from left to right, as if unsure she had seen what she had witnessed. Dash wiped a hoof over her own face, hoping to straighten her features as she did so, maybe even shut her maw.

“So… what?” Twilight finally spoke, keeping her voice low for only the pegasus in front of her to hear. “Do you think we should go and find the rest of the girls? It looks like we may have to use the Elements.”

“I’d say yes, but Pinkie is gone.” Dash knew in an instant what the dilation in Twilight’s eyes meant. It’s what allowed the pegasus to respond to the unasked question. “She left for Las Pegasus, wanted ta work on her partying skills. Perfect freakin’ timing.”

“Well… maybe there’s something else.” A lightbulb lit itself inside the alicorn’s mind. “Fluttershy! She can talk some semblance of sense into him.”

“And that’s why you just can’t get through to me, my dear little princess.”

Twilight whirled to see Discord, or more specifically, his back. He was lying in the air, floating on nothing but laying backwards as if relaxing on an unseen hammock. His body even swayed left to right, as if he were suspended from a tree.

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh?” Dash challenged, beating her wings until she was on equal height with the inattentive draconequus. Discord, however, leaned his head back to look at the pegasus with an upside down smug grin. Briefly, Dash wondered if his smiling lips right then counted as a frown, as they were facing downwards. The thoughts were pushed aside as the draconequus began to speak.

“It means you’re trying to change me, and talking to the pony with more brains than brawn,” his paw motioned towards the lavender mare on the ground. “How easy is it to change one thing to another?”

“Nearly impossible.” The words slipped out of Twilight’s mouth before she could stop herself. She let out a curt sigh before she finished her thought. “Changing the nature of any object, be that it’s chemical structure or metabolic pathways, requires an almost unheard amount of magic. The closest a single pony can usually come is a temporary transformation spell. Those naturally reverse themselves according the magical lay lines of the object changed.”

“Wow, verbatim from that silly book.” Discord snorted into the air. A puff of marshmallows appeared on his chest. “Makes me feel sorry for you, not being able to think outside the box.”

“Hey!” Dash shouted to the draconequus, shaking a few of the marshmallows off his chest and to the ground. “Twilight maybe an egghead, but she can think of things that no pony has ever even imagined before. She helped us kick your butt the first time around.” Dash grinned at the successful jibe.

“That she did, I will confess.” Discord popped one of the soft sugary treats into his mouth as he spoke. He looked down to see the alicorn glaring up at him, the pegasus floating at his level doing much the same. “And not even I saw it coming. I couldn’t have been more proud.”

“Proud?” Twilight spoke the word as a question, disbelief flooding her voice. “We put you back in stone and ruined your plans. How were you- no, wait!”

The sudden declaration to halt stopped the pegasus’s flight and draconequus’s meal. They both looked down at her, confusion riddling their gazes. The alicorn, however, looked at Discord with a familiar fire.

“We’re here to get you to stop what you’re doing! Not to talk about ethics or moral quandaries!” The words caused a visible jolt in the pegasus, the realization in their decaying conversation suddenly becoming apparent to her.

“Yeah, what Twi said,” Dash spoke to Discord, hoping to reaffirm her cool demeanor. It failed horribly. The pegasus turned away from the cheery draconequus with a huff. She gave him a narrowed eye before she spoke again.

“What are you up to anyway?” The question hung like a stale smell, unpleasant but unavoidably noticeable. It was only to the alicorn’s and pegasus great dismay with the draconequus responded with another question.

“You mean you two don’t know?” Discord’s smile only seemed to grew cheerer the longer the silence grew. Twilight and Rainbow both avoided looking into his miss-sized eyes. “Both of you have been looking for me all day and you don’t even know why? Oh, that’s a special kind of disorder, the one I really can’t create. Please, let me enjoy this for a moment, it’s not often I find ponies blind to their own orders.”

The draconequus extended his forelimbs out to their fullest, closing his lids and holding perfectly still, as if hoping to catch some mystic breeze. The only thing captivating about the sight to either mare was the size of Discord, truly now a being that towered over them.

Or maybe that was because his limbs were slowly separating from one another, drifting apart like ripples in water.

“Uh,” Discord monaed as he began to move again, his limbs reconnecting with an audible crack. Twilight and Rainbow tried not to grimace. “Well I suppose I could tell you what I’m doing, but what would be the point of that?” He cracked his knuckles loudly. “Every pony from here to Tartarus knows that the best way to learn is by experience, so let me just show you two what I’m up to.”

He snapped his fingers causing a blinding light. Dash and Rainbow both shut their eyes, pushing away the offensive brightness. When it subsided, and spots no longer crowded their vision, they opened their eyes.

The first thing they saw was one another.

They were facing each other, both of them with their hooves on the ground and Discord nowhere in sight. Dash watched a confused expression take over Twilight’s gaze, her eyes screwing together as her head began to twist. She felt herself doing the same.

“Now, I’ll admit, I was having some difficulty with coming up with what to do.” The voice of the draconequus reached their perked ears. Just as quickly, they found were it was coming from.

Behind one another.

Twilight saw a claw appear behind her feathered friend, reaching upwards like a trap. At the same time, Dash saw a great lion’s paw rise from behind her royal pal. They both opened their mouths to warn one another, but as soon as they did, they felt the appendage push on their head. A claw on top of Dash’s prismatic mane and a paw over Twilight’s well tamed hair. Both of their wings extended at the contact.

“I’ve already helped one little foal achieve his dream, help a couple earn a few bits, and even made a mare more social. Now what does that leave?” Both the alicorn and pegasus turned their head to see Discord standing off to the side, his paw and claw missing from his snake like body. “I covered dreams, living, sociality, ah!” His voice brightened as a bulb appeared above his head. Dash and Twilight watched it fall from the air and crash to the ground. It turned into snow and quickly melted.

“I guess all that leaves is to make sure you two finally see eye to eye.” Both of the mares glared at the dismembered draconequus.

“What the hay are you talking about now?” Dash accused, wings beating fruitlessly. “Twi’s like one of my best friends. The only way I’m reaching any more eye level with her is gaining an extra digit in my IQ.”

“Dash is right,” Twilight swiftly agreed, a speed at which said friend was proud to see. “I trust Rainbow implicitly for a lot of things. Unless I can suddenly start stunt flying, I’m not going to be able to trust her any more.”

“Ah, but that’s where you two aren’t looking deep enough.” The two mares exchanged a confused glance to one another before glaring back up at the Mad God holding them still. “You see, I’m not a traditionalist, never was much for anything that is supposed to stay constant. But I digress, even I can see the benefits in a few tried and tested methods. Comes with the age of centuries. Now,” his claw lightly tapped on Dash’s head as his paw did the same to Twilight’s. And, just like a snake, he curled through the air, landing on the opposite of the two mares

“The best way to get two ponies to know more about one another is to stay together for some time. The best way for two ponies to stay together is to want to be together. And don’t give me that look.” His head nodded in place of his occupied paw and claw, noting the horrified look of the alicorn. “I’m a changed God, just like Fluttershy said. I’m not in the business of forcing ponies to do anything. No, now I find it’s much more for fun for them to experience what I did.”

Rainbow swallowed a ball in her throat, knowing, just knowing, what Twilight was going to say next.

“What’s that?”

“Why, an epiphany of course!” The slytherin figure rose until he was straight like a plank. Rainbow, however, was more captivated by the halo of light that surrounded the draconequus’s head. Twilight was wondering how long Discord was planning with putting himself between the two mares and the sun.

“But I can’t just say ‘realize something’ and be done with it, your minds simply don’t work that way. I could make them, but that wouldn’t be any fun. Funny, but not fun.” Twilight felt a shiver run down her spin. It ended where the paw was holding her still. “No, the best way to make some pony an epiphany is to show them what they’re missing.”

Without any ceremony, Rainbow and Twilight were drawn closer together.

The ground beneath them became minimal as they were pushed towards one another. Their hooves dug into the grass, digging up the shallow roots as the snouts grew closer together. Eventually, swiftly, all Dash could see where the lavender irises of Twilight’s eyes, and Twilight could only watch Dash’s pink gaze look back into her own.

Then, Discord said two more words.

“Now kiss.”

The distance between them was removed.





“Hmm, it does feel good to take a walk.” Fluttershy mused as she trotted lightly across the ground, her steps slow, savoring the sun on her wings. “Oh, I bet the weather team worked extra hard to make this day feel special.”

Her wings fluttered lightly, lifting in the air just enough to let her hooves rotate once before touching back onto the earth, softly as her heart. A soft peaceful tune started to hum its way through her lips, contentedness clearly evident. Ever so gently, like the subtle beating of her wings, her head began to bob and rock, swaying left and right in tune with the song she continued to produce.

Her spat with Discord from earlier in the morning was nearly forgotten in her mind. She remembered it only as an unpleasant disagreement that would quickly be forgotten when she saw the draconequus again. He was adapting to a new lifestyle, so she would be as patient as it took.

Pleasant ideas in her head and unfriendly memories forgotten, Fluttershy turned down the path ahead of her, rounding a shop of quills and heading for the market square. She had food to pick up for Angel and the squirrels. Angel Bunny needed his special carrots for his salad, but the squirrels needed smaller acorns for their new litter.

That was when she saw it.

Just off the beaten path, in a lot just big enough to fit another store, Fluttershy saw a pair of ponies locked in hooves with one another. Their muzzles were pressed against one another rather fiercely, as if they were fighting one another. Yet, their beating wings only kept pushed them closer together, as if the strength of their hooves wasn’t enough.

A hot blush ran across the timid mare’s face at the sight. She was not alien to romances, she knew, as an expert in animal care and sitting how reproduction worked. Regardless, watching such interactions was nothing she was used to, or had any desire to do.

And yet, she couldn’t look away from the pair. Not from curiosity or voyeurism, but from a small sense of shock.

She recognized the prismatic mane on the cyan pegasus, currently pushing her mate over. And she definitely knew the lavender pony on the ground, currently fitting her foreleg around the pegasus’s neck. Fluttershy had met every alicorn in Equestria, and only one of them was lavender.

“Um, R-Rainbow… T-Twilight…”

The lavender mare turned to look at Fluttershy as she spoke. The cyan pegasus currently locked in her hooves also turned to see her.

Simultaneously, their eyes widened to their fullest.

“Fluttershy!” The two yelled in tandem.

Their wings half haphazardly tried to separate from one another, their feathers twisting into one another as they tried to pull them free. Hot blushes stained their cheeks and high grunts came from their lips during the scene. Fluttershy continued to watch two, her coat nearly stained red with embarrassment.

“I…I-I can come back later…” she whispered quietly, hooves already moving her backwards. “Y-You two seem, um, very busy. Oh yes, far too busy for me to interrupt. I’ll just… go and-”

“Fluttershy, wait!” Dash screamed for her friend, finally freeing her wings from Twilight’s. The alicorn gave a small cry of shock as she fell backwards to the ground. Rainbow looked at her horrified. “Oh horse apples! I’m sorry Twi’.”

“I’m alright. It’s alright. Everything’s alright.” Her trembling eyes looked at Fluttershy. The skittish pegasus was still debating between flying away or curling into a ball. “It’s… okay, but not everything is okay.” Dash followed Twilight’s gaze.

“Fluttershy, seriously, it’s not what you’re thinking.” The canary coated pegasus meekly looked away from her friends gaze. Her hoof pushed the dirt on the ground.

“I-It’s alright Rainbow, really.” The blush across her cheeks grew hotter as she spoke. “I think it’s great that you and, um, Twilight have decided to, um…” Her words trailed off as her face began to glow, heat racing to her head. Neither the alicorn or the prismatic pegasus missed the twitch in her wings. “Date one another.”

“But we’re not!” Rainbow practically screamed, desperation flooding her. After a brief shudder at the volume, Fluttershy gave the pegasus a curious stare.

“You’re… not?” She spoke. “But you two were… oh dear…” And once more, her face began to heat with the fresh memories of her entangled friends.

“It’s really not like that Fluttershy, we promise.” Twilight quickly joined Dash’s side, their coats rubbing against one another as she did so. Neither made motion to separate. “We were looking for… for…” The alicorn started to twist her head, looking for a figure that was no longer there. Panic started to overtake her features, again. “He’s gone!”

“W-Who’s gone?”

“Discord!” Dash spoke up for Twilight, being extra sure her prismatic tail wrapped around one of the alicorn’s hoofs. “That bozo was here a second ago and now he’s freaking out of here!”

“Oh dear,” Fluttershy spoke, raising a hoof to her lips. “Why are you looking for him? Is he in trouble?”

“In trouble? Ha!” Twilight let out a bark of laughter. It made Fluttershy take a step back in shock. Dash, on the other hoof, was too busy looking left and right for the copiously compiled creature to mind. “He’s at the helm of it, again!”

“H-He is..,” the meek pegasus spoke weakly, wings falling as her eyes looked to the ground. “Oh my, I-I didn’t think he’d get in trouble when I asked him do some good.”

“You told Discord to do what?!” Rainbow nearly tackled Fluttershy to the ground. A quick bite on her tail from Twilight kept the fuming mare from doing so. It didn’t keep Fluttershy from trembling in fear. “Do you have any idea how bad that is?!”

“Well, um… he was supposed to help ponies.” The excuse sputtered out from Fluttershy’s lips. She bit them soon after she was done speaking.

“Yeah, help the way he thinks is helpful!” As if to demonstrate her point, Dash spun and put her forelegs around the lavender alicorn. Twilight, for her part, was able to keep standing upright. That was the only part of her that remained dignified.

Her wings extended to their full length, chest expanding with an intake of air, and fur glow red in tune with her heavy blush. Fluttershy and Dash were able to see it all. And yet, Twilight couldn’t think of a single reason why the cyan pegasus should let her go.

“You see!” Dash yelled to her blushing friend, the one her legs weren’t currently holding with a possessive force.

“Y-Yes! Um, yeah.” Fluttershy eeped before dribbling off in agreement. “You two make a… a great match.” Twilight could feel Rainbow hold her a bit tighter, most likely in annoyance. The alicorn raised her hoof to one of the legs encircling her, hoping to remove it. But when she made contact with it, it just seemed a more appropriate action to hold it a bit closer.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight began, hoping her voice was more controlled than her boisterous, and currently attractive, friend. “Rainbow Dash is trying to demonstrate that… well… we enjoy the contact now because of Discord. Before… well we wouldn’t have done this before.” She could feel the wind whip up and down in tandem with Dash’s head beside her. Twilight savored every little flick Rainbow’s fur made against her ear.

“O-Oh,” Fluttershy stuttered, raising a hoof to her mouth. “You mean Discord convinced you two you….” For the umpteenth time, the pegasus’s coat adopted the color of the sun as her voice dropped off.

“Convinced nothing!” Dash shouted again, earning a bit of pain from Twilight’s ear. “He cast a freaking spell on us! Now all I want to do is cuddle up next to Twilight and sleep the day away.” Fluttershy’s eyes shrunk at the words.

Later, Twilight would blame the heat of her blush for the words she said next.

“Y-Yeah,” she agreed with Dash. “And… and I just want her to nibble my ear and tell me everything she loves about me!”

Fluttershy fell sideways to the ground, her body radiating heat.

“This… This is so wrong.” Dash let out with a grumble, partially wondering why she let her wing wrap over the alicorn’s side. Most of her, however simply didn’t care.

“Tell me about it.” Twilight spoke breathlessly, leaning into the embrace. Her mind was too focused on Discord’s disappearance and Fluttershy’s collapsed state to pay Dash’s closeness any mind. She enjoyed it, and that was it.

They both sighed in unison. 
> Will You Holler At The Moon?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, what a trick that was!” The draconequus cheered as he skipped down the path. “Helping ponies fall in love, realizing their destiny, now I know why The White Queen enjoys playing with her pawns so much.” A dark chuckle came from his lips when he was done.

“Why, that was so grand, I do believe I deserve a pat on the back.” And he proceeded to do just that. Discord patted himself on the back with his paw, the appendage firmly gripped within his claw. He pushed the arm back into place with a satisfying pop when he was done.

“Oh, but what now? I could be done for the day; six ponies down with four problems solved… nah, those numbers are too round and even. I need to end on an odd note.” Putting the tip of his claw to the end of his long face, the Mad God leaned back, looking into the sky as he thought. His back, however, continued to bend until his head was flat against the ground, his hooves still firmly in place.

That’s when he saw it.

A familiar meadow filled with a few familiar ponies and chalk full of a very familiar, and admittedly delectable, fruit beckoned. Everything about it he had seen before, tasted before, felt before, and even thought of before.

He couldn’t think of a better place to help next.

“Why, I can even see it now,” the Mad God spoke as he looked left and right through the field. “I’m sure they could do with a bit of a variation in their crops. Maybe trees that water themselves! Oh, the possibilities for helping out here are endless!”

“But ya ain’t gonna do a single one, ya filthy varmint!”

Discord couldn’t stop the grin that broke his face-- not that he tried. He was stuck catching a few pieces of his face that fell off. Breaking the mold was nothing he was against, but he did have to contain himself. Sliding the pieces of his cheeks and jaw back into place, the draconequus turned around to see the pony that had addressed him so viciously.

Truth be told, he was hoping to find the enigmatic Applejack. Instead, he came face to face with the scowling form of her grandmother, Granny Smith.

“Why hello Mrs. Grand Apple,” the draconequus mockingly addressed with a low bow, the hairs of his goatee mixing with the grass as he did so. “It is a pleasure to finally have a conversation with you. I have had so many with your granddaughter.”

“And the lass has told me ‘bout every one of yer dirty tricks,” the old pony bit back with a raised snout, glaring viciously at the copiously compiled creature. “You’ve gone and done two bits more harm ta Applejack than I thought any rowdy stallion could ever try.”

“Why my good madam,” Discord spoke easily, his smile unhidden, as was his joy. It was so rare to find ponies who weren’t afraid of him. Even of those outright challenged him. He loved every second of the encounter. “I assure you from the bottom of my many hearts, I am a changed god, and I have a friend of a friend to thank for that.”

“Yeah, Ah’ve heard that song more than once,” she snarled at nothing, turning her head away from the mad god as she continued to speak. “Darn stallions, never takin’ a hint even when it’s buck wide in their face.” Something in those words struck an odd chord with Discord. Those were his favorite kind.

“Pardon me--if I may ask-- what is it you think I intend to do?” He chuckled lowly as he though of his next line. “Because I assure you, whatever you assume I have planned for you, it will be far different from what you expect.”

“Ya just don’t get it, do ya?” The old pony spoke, letting her weak leg fall to the ground in what Discord assumed was a stomp. “It don’t matter to me what you plan on doin’, just where ya think yer gonna get with it.”

“And where do you think I’m going to go? My horizons are rather wide, and most likely in the opposite direction from where you’re looking.” As if to prove his point, the mad God twisted his body one hundred and eighty degrees, flipping his upper torso easily. When he curled his head back to look at elder mare, however, he didn’t see a look of disgust, but bitter resentment. Not totally unfounded, but not what he was expecting.

And here he thought the elderly were the easiest to confuse.

“Ya wanna know what Ah’m getting’ at? Well let me lay it out like a skinned rug for ya.” Discord was right. He was really enjoying this mare.

“Yer here ta make a move on mah grand daughter, jus’ like last time!”

Discord didn’t turn ponies to stone, but this once, he felt himself go rigid as a statue.

Not moving a muscle or hair on his body, he stared at the ancient mare that was less than a tenth of his own age. She stared up at him with a determined, and by no means mocking, glare. Discord looked hard and long into her eyes, foregoing movement for the sole purpose of studying every strand of an idea that was ghosting or drifting through her mind. He saw nothing but honesty in her words, much like her granddaughter.

He started to fall to pieces, literally.

Parts of his claws and paws fell off in chunks, crumbling into colorful dust along the grass. The decaying effect rolled up his appendages until it reached his thin slytherin torso. Then his scales started to fall off in chunks. It wasn’t long until his head fell to the ground with a heavy thud, mismatched red eyes rolling off the head until they looked up at the elder mare.

His legs fell over long before they began to decay, though they too joined the rest of the draconequus as chunks of dust scattered along the green grass. Granny Smith didn’t bat an eye at the act, or at the horrifically dismembered body staring up at her.

“Ya do that every time yer caught?” The wrinkled pony accused, pouting her lips as she spoke. “Proves there ain’t a honest bone in yer body.”

Discord was wrong. He didn’t just like this mare, he loved her.

“You truly have given me a talking to I’ve never had before,” Discord’s misplaced lips spoke with a grin that was hard to place. Without his eyes above them, it might as well have been a frown, though the mare found that unlikely.

With a pop of magic, the dust and pieces of the draconequus disappeared. Granny Smith raised a brow, trying to place where the Mad God had gone. Another pop behind her was all the sign she needed, though the elbow leaning on her head did help.

“Tell you what, I’m making it a personal goal of mine today to help out the ponies that I think need a little… shall we say, “a helping hoof”.” He snickered at the comment, something the elder pony did not do. “I can see that you have enough brains, brawn, and wit to not even need a single flick of my wrist, though my wrist is capable of doing a lot, if you catch my drift.” Once more, the draconequus’s laughter was made alone.

“Just what are ya tryin’ ta pull at?” The mare asked accusingly. Before he answered, Discord raised his claw to his lips, lightly beating the talons against them in thought. It was only when a crooked grin had formed across his face that his forelimb fell back to his side.

“Why, I’d like to help you out in an extra special way, as Fluttershy would likely put it. And,” he finished with a wag of a furred digit of his paw in the air. “I think I know just what to do. I can even promise it won’t involve me having to come close to your… lovely granddaughter.”

Granny Smith’s lips scrunched over face. Her eyes individually closed as her cheeks flexed, thinking about the offer from a creature she hardly trusted. Her wrinkles deepened and her face scrunched, caught in a deep thought she refused to speak. Discord stayed patient as she continued to maintain her voluntary taciturnity.

“Ya promise there ain’t a thought in yer head ‘bout getting close ta Applejack?” The mare snake eyed the draconequus, leaning onto the tips of her hooves as she spoke. “Cause if anything ya do is supposed ta patch up that moldy old blanket, Ah’ll feed ya ta the crows!”

Discord wasn’t just in love, he was infatuated!

“From the bottom of my multi-purposed heart, I swear I won’t do a thing to the mare. I’ll even keep myself away from the loopholes; and believe me, I can find loopholes.” He watched Granny Smith slowly nod, eyes rolling in thought. Then, with a small spit to the side, she looked back up at the Mad God.

“Alrighty, Ah’ll take yer word. Better be worth something, too.” She snorted, turning around till she was muzzle to muzzle with Discord. He continued to lean on empty air. “Just what do ya think ya’ll can do to help out an old mare an’ her farm?”

It was a good thing Discord had already broken to pieces before. He was able to stop himself from doing it a second time.





“Oh no Angel, please, I don’t need anymore salad.” A small giggle rolled from Fluttershy, asleep and unaware on a spare pillow in Twilight’s home. She curled into the soft material, snuggling it as her wings adjusted themselves on her back. Her breathing fell back into a peaceful rhythm.

Twilight and Rainbow watched her, leaning on one another with their wings intertwined. A tired sigh left the lavender alicorn.

“How did we get into this mess?” The question left the pegasus’s lips as she lifted her head up, staring at the wooden ceiling. She felt Twilight snuggle under her muzzle as she did so. It felt nice, warm and tingly, three things Dash couldn’t imagine herself ever enjoying with another mare until now.

“Sense of justice, personal morals, Discord…” Twilight listed the reasons in between her brushes against Dash’s skin, savoring the electric touch and smooth feeling of the pegasus’s coat. It was so different from hers, weathered from the mare’s frequent flights, but scented with rain, dust, and sweat. It felt odd to be so attracted to such a thing. Yet the alicorn could think of few complaints.

“So the usual. Good to know.” Another sigh left the mare’s lips. “What are we gonna do now, Twi?” The groan in her voice was unmistakable.

“I’m… I’m not sure.” The alicorn let out another tentative breath, her mind moving far faster than her lips. Still, she couldn’t seem to cease the desire to be close to Rainbow Dash. “Confronting Discord once didn’t help us much, aside from putting us in our current… predicament.”

“Yeah.” Twilight felt Dash rap one of her hooves over her back, just above her wing. “But we can’t exactly reverse everything he’s done. I’m no genius, but I have enough of a memory to know you have hard time undoing his spells. Stupid cotton candy clouds.”

“I know, I know,” the alicorn responded. Her head lightly shook as if to jostle an idea from her mind. She must have been moving it rather quickly, as a moan of discomfort came from Fluttershy as she did so.

Both mare looked up from their avoiding gazes to see their canary coated friend turning on her bed, adjusting herself over the fluff and cotton material. Her wings individually flexed and extended as they were given access to the air and not pressed beneath the lithe mare’s weight and the pillow. When they were done, Fluttershy’s back curled and extended like a cat. Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash had seen Rarity’s cat do much the same after one of its frequent naps.

Then, with a light groan, the pegasus opened her eyes. Her blue eyes looked around her surroundings in a light fog, her mane hanging from her head and drifting over the pillow as she turned left and right. It didn’t take too long for the panic to set in.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight spoke quickly, but carefully. It earned the pegasus’s immediate attention. Her pupils were constricted and her chest moved semi-rapidly. Not fast enough to a be a health hazard, but far faster than normal breathing required. “It’s alright Fluttershy, you’re with us, in my house, in Ponyville.”

“O-Oh,” the timid pegasus began, her form slightly relaxing with the news. “Oh, okay. I was, um, worried for a moment. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Dash began to talk to her friend. She unwrapped her wing and forehoof from Twilight, much to the alicorn’s chagrin, and walked towards Fluttershy. Twilight was barely a hoofstep behind. “We… We just kinda gave you a scare and you, well… okay you fainted straight on the spot. So Twi and I brought you back here. Hope you don’t mind.”

What the shy and timorous mare usually would have done was quickly accept the apology with a small but heart stopping smile. Instead, she looked from her childhood friend to her recent one with a quick gaze. Twilight had a suspicion what was coming next.

“You… Y-You mean that I didn’t… It wasn’t… O-Oh my, oh dear, oh, oh.” The pegasus’ hoof lifted towards her head, her body already swaying.

“Fluttershy, please hold on.” Twilight extended a hoof and touched the canary coat of her friend. She could feel the fibers of her fur sticking up with goose bumps underneath. “We are seriously trying to correct this, we are. But in order to do so, we need Discord’s… help, I guess you could call it.”

“Help? That’s what he tried to do.” Dash snorted next to Twilight, but the alicorn didn’t think a thing of it. She just kept her attention solely focused on Fluttershy.

“We need him to reverse the spell he cast on us and the better part of Ponyville.” The comment, instead of earning the usual sputter of denial and refusal, earned only a cocked head, bent ears, and scrunched eyes.

“Fix Ponyville?” The mare questioned. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what’s wrong with it.”

“Relax Twi, I got this one.” Dash interrupted the alicorn before she could say word. Still, Twilight had no objections to the two hooves that wrapped around her, in order to move her slight away from Rainbow Dash to have room.

“Fluttershy, Discord has gone crazy, again.” The pegasus lightly raised and dropped her hooves as she spoke, emphasizing her words. “He basically kidnapped Pip, made all the food and pastries in Sugarcube Corner come to life, moved Zecora’s hut to the center of Ponyville, and now, to really top it all off, he made Twilight and I fall in love with each other.”

“Infatuation is probably the more accurate word,” Twilight lightly interjected. “There is no spell to make ponies fall in love. Only potions.”

“Right, that, whatever,” Dash wiped her eyes with her hoof, lightly sighing as she spoke. “The point is, if Discord’s is trying to help, he has a pretty poor idea of how to do it.”

“Oh… oh dear,” For the second time Fluttershy spoke. “Are… are you certain it was him?” Those were not the greatest words to say to a stressed prismatic pegasus.

“Yes!” She barked loudly. “Yes I’m sure the draconequus that forced me and Twilight share a big heavy kiss was the one and only Discord that previously had all of acting like our polar opposites!” The timid Fluttershy instantly fell into a heap over the pillow, quivering beneath the yelling pegasus. It took only a lavender hoof on the shoulder of Dash to calm her down.

“Rainbow,” Twilight gently spoke. “It’s not Fluttershy’s fault.” The alicorn turned her kind gaze the quivering pegasus before she spoke again. “Discord was, most likely, trying to help out ponies like Fluttershy asked, but he doesn’t know how to help ponies. He’s so used to just doing what he wants that… well, it’s normal for him to act this way.”

“Yeah, like anything from that freak is normal.” Rainbow scoffed at her own comment, but neither pony spoke a word for or against her.

“Look, Fluttershy,” Twilight began again. “We have to get Discord to stop and reverse what he’s done. Right now, he’s the only one that can do it. And to make him do it, you’re the only mare that can, well, convince him to do it.”

Fluttershy nervously played with one of her wings. It was an action not unnoticed by either lavender or cyan mare.

“I know it can be… difficult for you to try and convince others. But Fluttershy, you’re the only one that can at least talk to Discord. He trusts you and actually listens to you. All he does for everypony else is…” her voice trailed off as she felt a wing wrap around her back. Twilight loved the sensation. “Trick them.”

“R-Really?” Fluttersy spoke tentatively. “I-I’m the only one? Oh, oh dear,” the timid pegasus turned her head, curling into the pillow like a small ball. “That’s… Oh, that’s an awful lot of pressure.”

“C’mon Fluttershy, I know you can handle it,” Rainbow Dash spoke with a cheer in her voice, grinning just as confidently as if she were speaking of herself. “I mean, you’re the only one who was able to treat Discord like any other pony. I’m sure you can just give him a good talking to and he’ll listen to you no problem.”

“You… Y-You think he will?” Fluttershy asked with a nervous stutter in her voice, wide eyes looking up at her childhood friend. Dash only nodded eagerly down at her.

“Of course he will!” The cyan pegasus replied eagerly. “I mean, he reversed all his spells before for you, didn’t he? I’m sure all you gotta do is just tell him he’s doing it wrong and he’ll turn everything back. Easy as bucking a cloud.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I can kick a cloud. That just sounds mean.” Twilight heard Dash groan at the same time as she felt the strong wing wrapped around her fall. Clearing her throat, the alicorn took over.

“Fluttershy,” she began patiently. “You are the only one that Discord will listen to. He’s caused a lot of trouble recently, and not just between me and Dash. All we need is for you to talk to him, please.”

Fluttershy didn’t respond-- not immediately. Instead, she let her form tighten into a ball, shivering slightly as she did so. Neither Dash nor Twilight spoke or moved to interact with her. They had been friends with the timid pegasus for years, and in that time, had learned to recognize when she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

“Alright,” the answer came meekly from the canary coated ball. As the word was subtly spoken, the pegasus began to unwrap herself. She slowly came to a stand on top of her pillow, long pink hairs hanging down her body.

“Alright?” Dash spoke the word as a question, tilting her head as she leaned towards the mare. Fluttershy understood what her fellow pegasus was asking.

“I’ll talk to Discord.” The words let a wave of relief flow through the lavender alicorn and cyan pegasus. “I’m sure that he’s just a little confused. He’s so used to helping himself he probably just doesn’t understand how to help other ponies. Oh, I know he means well, he just needs to be shown how.”

“Well… yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Dash hesitantly spoke as one of her forehooves rubbed the back of her head. “He isn’t exactly… great at playing by the rules.”

“Right, alright.” Twilight nodded as she spoke, mind working as she spoke. “So… then all we have to do is find out where he is now.” Turning her head, she looked from the cyan mare holding her at wings length to her timid friend standing on the cotton pillow.

“Any idea where he could be?”
> I Win
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, that answers that question.”

The words rolled with a dry tone from Dash’s lips, too occupied and too focused on what her eyes were seeing to worry about what her voice sounded like.

It was hard not to look surprised when watching trees dancing across the ground.

Twilight and Fluttershy watched, open mouthed, as the apple trees of the Apple Family orchard literally skipped on their roots, moving over the grass with jovialness that plainly didn’t belong in objects of wood. Various apples swung and danced on the swaying branches, twisting with the trunk that moved as its agile roots commanded.

Like a great party without music, the trees were dancing around one another. Their branches interlocked, moving them in a twisted version of a log dance. Every fall the roots made shook the ground, with the full weight of trees falling with them.

Twilight’s eyes didn’t know where to look, moving from one tree shaking the dirt from its roots to another jumping through the air. Dash was in much the same situation, expect her features were nothing but a blank mask of apathy, either too used or too surprised by what she was seeing to illustrate a proper emotion.

Fluttershy, however, was the only one with her mind focused on what she came here for. If she lost her focus, she’d lose her resolve.

That resolve was shaken, regardless, when her blue eyes settled on the creature they came to find.

“Oh, there he is.” She spoke timidly as her hoof meekly pointed beyond a trio of dancing apple trees, ripe granny smiths hanging from their branches. Twilight and Dash turned to follow her gaze, already half sure of what they would find.

Discord was there, as they expect him to be, but as per his unpredictable attitude, his actions remained one of the oddest things the pair had seen him do to date.

As the rest of the trees around him were dancing and frolicking amongst themselves, so too was the Mad God of Equestria joining the fun, leading his own band of dancing foliage in a earth shaking ball.

“Yep, that makes sense.” Dash dryly spoke again. “Figures he’d want to dance with something that can’t dance. Next he’ll be tracking to bake cakes out of mud.” The apathetic tone in the pegasus’s voice had yet to change. Twilight, however, was far more focused with her target now in sight.

“Discord!” The alicorn yelled the draconequus’s name, letting it ring over the sound of the stomping trees. She half expected him to honestly not hear her, or deceitfully ignore her. Both were likely. However, to her subtle thanks, he turned to look at her mid swing, a tree on his paw and another grasping his claw. Discord’s face beamed at the trio. In a quick flash of light he disappeared from the trees he was caught between, reappearing in front of them.

“Why hello my dear pony friends!” The Mad God spoke loudly and cheerfully, a genuine smile across his features. “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you both again so soon, what with you too so busy with one another.” His claw lightly swayed behind them.

The pair turned their gazes to see their lavender and prismatic tails wrapping with one another, entwining them. Subtle blushes stained their coats, but neither the alicorn or cyan pegasus made motion to separate. Discord lightly snickered before turning his attention to the other mare present.

“And Fluttershy!” He spoke her name with an unusual amount of joy. “I’m so glad you’ve found me already.”

“Y-You’re happy to see me?” The timid pegasus spoke cautiously. The draconequus nodded vigorously in response.

“But of course. I was going to wait until the day was dead and Nightmare Moon raised her routine reminder of her existence into the sky, but now that you’re here, I can show you just how much I’m helping out these ponies, just as you suggested.”

Those words quickly brought the pegasus back to the present.

“Discord?” The pegasus called the Mad God’s name, earning a patient gaze from his grinning faze. “Um… well… how is, if you don’t mind saying, making the trees dance helpful?” Her head fell beneath her mane, hiding much of her features as the question cautiously fell from her lips.

Discord raised a claw to his slytherin chest, clutching at it as a pained expression took over his features.

“Oh!” He cried sorely, his body stiffening as he spoke. “Oh the pain!” Panic was quick to sweep through the once timid pegasus.

“Oh dear! Are you alright?” Fluttershy genuinely asked as she trotted the few hooves distance between herself and the draconequus. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Discord attempted to dismiss, waving his paw left and right in tandem with his head. “No it’s just… just…” Fluttershy was rising to the tips of her hooves, looking up at the Mad God with concern flooding her features. “You’re just too darn cute!”

A hot blush erupted across the mare’s features.

“Oh! It’s just too much for my old heart to take!” The draconequus writhed in the air, as if he was being assaulted from within. Fluttershy swiftly fell to the grass below, hiding beneath her mane, tail, and wings. The two other mares, however, were at their limit.

“Alright, that’s it!” The sudden declaration from Rainbow was loud enough to be clearly heard over the dancing trees, easily earning Discord’s attention. When his mis-sized eyes looked over to the pegasus, he saw her glaring up at him, one of her wings now wrapped firmly around the alicorn at her side. Their tails remained tangled.

“We’ve been following your mess all day, looking at the ponies you’ve ‘helped’ and ‘improved’.” The emphasis on the words were obviously in the realm of sarcasm, a domain Discord had beachfront property in. He loved visiting it from time to time. “And if that’s not bad enough, you’ve got me shackled to an egghead while you dance with trees!”

“And your point is…” Discord let his sentence run off as he raised his claw to one of his ears. He grabbed the edges of it, pulling at it until it expanded to a size comparable to his entire head. Dash was undeterred.

“My point is you’ve crossed way too many lines, and you’ve gotta fix ‘em, now!” The pegasus stomped her hoof as she finished. Twilight was nodding beside her.

“She is right Discord,” The alicorn agreed. “You’re doing far more harm than good with your current actions. Even if I was willing to believe you’re actually trying to help ponies, you’re going to have to go through a remedial class with Fluttershy before you attempt to… well, do what you do.”

“Really?” The draconequus questioned. Discord turned his head to look at the meek pegasus beneath him, looking at her with puckered lips and unsure eyes. “Do you agree with them?” Fluttershy was used to few things. Direct questions were not one of them.

“W-Well…” she began slowly, voice already dying off as she spoke. She was likely only heard by the Mad God thanks to his enlarged ear. “Y-You could, um… ah, be more… subtle with your magic, I suppose, that is you don’t mind.”

Discord didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he let his claw slowly slip through his long goatee as his ear shrank back to its normal proportion, normal as any other part of his body. His head slowly nodded as he looked at his reformer, moving to the alicorn and pegasus still wrapped tail in tail.

“Well, it is hard to argue with the critics.” Discord finally admitted. “They do have the final say when it comes to random acts of kindness. So, I guess I’ll have to defer to the ponies that I’ve actively been helping.”

“Discord!”

The sudden shout came from far across the field, over the dancing trees. The group turned their collective gaze to the source. Even with the jovial and nearly youthful vegetation jumping around the fields, it was hard to miss the elder mare walking towards them. Discord grinned wickedly.

“Granny Smith, perfect timing,” he slowly spoke. It wasn’t behind Dash’s hearing.

“Yeah!” She eagerly challenged. “Perfect timing is right. Now we get to hear all about how you messed up her entire orchard. What is this, the third time now?” She raised a hoof as she spoke, a confident grin over her lips. “You messed it up with chocolate rain, you flooded it with a beaver dam, and now you’ve-”

“Gone and given me some of the best crops Ah could ever ask for!”

The word caused the pegasus to freeze. Twilight and Fluttershy didn’t fare much better. Discord, true to his nature, was the oddball of the group.

“Have I know?” He innocently questioned, looking back at the trio of ponies before he spoke on. “And just how have I benefitted you today?”

“Don’t go actin’ all niave on me,” Granny Smith warned the Mad God. “Yer already earnin’ yer way back on ta mah good side. Hate ta see ya ruin it with a bit of guile.” She laughed with an elderly chuckle before letting her wrinkled leg sway over the orchard behind her, still dancing across the land.

“All the exercise yer given the apple trees is making their sap move right and fast. It’s makin’ those apples twice as juicy and Ah’d say three times as tasty, but math ain’t my strong point, so cut me some slack.” The dark chuckle from the draconequus was impossible to place.

“I did promise I would help you out, and without a single tie to your granddaughter either.” Discord pointed out with his claw, dotting the air as he spoke. “But I must agree with my friends here. The trees have had their fun.”

His claw snapped in the air, flooding the air with a familiar, but uncomfortable, blinding light. When it dissipated, as quickly as it had come, the pounding of roots had ceased.

It took only a quick glance from any pony to see the orchard was no longer dancing, but was back to the well rooted and still vegetation they were all used to. No more dancing apple trees, no more tangoing branches, and no more swing dancing fruit. Everything as still as stone.

It wasn’t good enough for Twilight.

“Wait, hold on a second.” She commanded with a raise of her hoof. She turned her attention to their pony elder before she spoke again. “Mrs. Apple, you’re okay with what Discord did just now? I mean, and excuse me if I’m being too frank, but he did just literally make your entire orchard dance out of the ground!”

“Course he did and course Ah am,” The mare responded to Twilight with a firm shake of her head. “There ain’t no better way to work out the kinks in an old body like a bit of dancing. Told Discord here that some of the trees were gettin’ on in their age, so he gives them a dancing lesson or two, and their spittin’ out the apples like it’s what they were made for.”

“It is what they’re made for.” Dash responded to the elder dryly before wiping one of her hooves down her face. “But he seriously didn’t trick you, or manipulate you, or threaten you with anything?” To the pegasus chagrin, the elder mare looked insulted.

“Now how’d ya get that idea?” She spat on the ground before motioning up at Discord with her head. “Do ya think there’s anything that guy can do ta threaten me? Ah settled this entire town and it’s gonna take more than a trouble young fool ta get my bones rattled.”

Discord was rolling on the grass with laughter. Fluttershy was just beside him, giggling.

“Now,” the Apple Family head began with a motion towards Dash and Twilight. “Ah’d best be getting’ Applejack up from her napping break. We’re gonn have quite the harvest tomorrow, and it’s gonna take every hoof available to get this done. Discord,” the mare spoke the Mad God name, winking at him as she spoke. “Feel free ta drop by any time. Ah might even let Applejack cozy on up with ya next time.”

Without another word, the mare started to slowly trot away, leaving two silent mares, a giggling pegasus, and a roaring with laughter draconequus behind.

“That… what…” Dash blankly spoke unsure of what to say or do. Twilight chose silence. Silence made her mind think faster. Too bad it was going nowhere fast.

“Well, that’s one success.” Discord noted from behind the pair, wiping a tear of laughter from his larger red eye as he spoke. The blue speck of water hit the grass and bloomed a flower in its place. “What’s next on my ‘Great Catastrophe’ list. I’m actually eager to hear more.” Those were the words Twilight needed.

“Oh, that’s easy.” The alicorn began. “Let’s talk about what happened to-”

An eruption of fire cut her off.

A short cry of shock came from her lips, earning the defensive grasp of Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus wrapped the alicorn in her hooves, pulling her behind the athletic mare as a small pillar of green fire erupted from Discord’s mouth. Fluttershy trotted backwards quickly, slightly mortified at the sight.

Then, just as quickly as the puff of flame appeared, it vanished. It took a moment for anyone present to see what was the purpose of it.

That’s how long it took for the letter to fall on Dash’s head.

“Hey! What gives?” She asked with annoyance in her voice rubbing at her head as she picked up the scroll from the ground, an impressive act with defensive position still in front of Twilight.

“Oh, I do believe I got flame mail.” Discord spoke matter-of-factly. “It has been quite a while since I’ve experienced that sensation though. I wonder how long it has been? Oh, who cares? There is a much more important question to ask.”

“You mean finding out who sent it, right?” Dash begrudgingly asked the draconequus, her hooves already working to unravel the parchment. Discord gave her a soft gold clap as a response, which in turn, brought the pegasus to snort in irritation.

Holding the top of paper with one hoof, she pulled down the raveled letter, straightening it for her eyes to read. Twilight, who was just beyond her, quickly began to read the text.

“Ta Mr. Discord,” Twilight awkwardly read, clearly not used to speaking in the manner the letter was written. Regardless, she cleared her throat and began again.

“This be Captain Pip, Captain of the Scurvy Dragon, most fearsome ship in the Foamy Seas. We be on our way here ta pilferin another plot o’ land. Tha crew has been grand, keepin me up with merry toons as I lead them ta vast oceans and endless adventure. They took right to me once I got Puff the Magic Dragon ta listen to me own words. I be signin off now. Lands ahoy and I gotta go. Signed Sincerely, Captain Pip Pinto.”

The letter fell from Dash’s hooves, fluttering briefly in the air before slowly landing on the ground. Rainbow remained still as stone, as did the alicorn behind her. Discord, however, was all smiles and giggles.

“Oh, that little colt is having quite the adventure, isn’t he?” The draconequus teased the pair as he reached for the parchment on the ground, easily rolling it back up as he simultaneously lifted it into the air. “Oh, it does do my heart good to hear he’s making the most of his little excursion. Had to be careful where I dropped him off at, but I’m glad those salty pirates haven’t changed even after a thousand years.” A short chuckle emanated from his throat. “Good thing I can predict the predictable.”

With a clap, the letter disappeared leaving the two mares in front of him in stunned silence. Fluttershy, however, expressed only calm acceptance and gratitude. A pleasant smile, subtle as her nature was placed over her lips.

“Hey, that’s two for two,” Discord held up two talons as he spoke against two digits from his paw. “Odds aren’t really a thing I enjoy, unless I stack them of course, but I’d have to say that they are in my favor now.”

“Yeah, well,” Dash continued to challenge, though on quickly changing ground. “We’ll see just how sure you are once we go and see the Cakes!” Her confident grin returned to her as she spoke. “They weren’t too happy when you left them, and even less so when I did. They’re probably trying to clean up your mess right now!”





“I don’t believe this.” Twilight apathetically spoke as she looked over the scene in front of her.

Just like earlier with Discord and the Apple Family Farm, the quartet was looking out and over the business of Sugar Cube Corner.

That is, over what they could see.

Ponies, dozens upon dozens of them, were all clamoring and pushing against one another in the stores, hoping to get in and find a nice treat to buy. It was nothing too new. The Cakes were always known through Ponyville and even a bit beyond the small town’s borders for having some of the most well decorated and crafted treats that a pony’s bit could buy.

What was new was having said treats flying through the air and into the hooves of eager ponies around the store.

“That’ll be another ten bits please!” Mr. Cake eagerly cried from behind the counter of his store, the register in front of him ringing with the sound of success. A mare in front of him lit up her horn as she began to dig through her bag.

“Oh!” The pony at the counter let out with a chirp of enjoyment. His aura came from within his bag, carrying the cold coins in his ethereal grasp. “I have an extra bit! So, can I add an extra cupcake on that order?”

“Of course!” Mr. Cake joyfully responded. “Feel free to have at it!” His hoof motioned into the air.

Above the large crowd in the home, complete now with Discord, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight, still spun and rained the pastry treats of the cake shop. They continued to dance and fly through the air, rounding in spirals and loops that captivated the gaze of each and every pony in the store.

Oh’s and Ah’s rose and fell from the crowd like the petals of a flower in a spring’s wind. Eager hooves reached into the air, grabbing at the treats that were in their grasp. It was impossible to miss the eager and downright excited grins on each and every one of their faces.

“Twelve more cupcakes, ready to tango!” The voice of Mrs. Cake came from the kitchen, earning the attention of the silent quartet. Their gazes turned to barn-style doors, watching as the blue mare walked the short distance into the shops main lobby before lobbing her metal tin into the air.

Twilight and Dash watch with wide eyes as the metal tray sailed through the air, arcing as any lobbed object would. But then, before it hit any unfortunate pony. It stilled in the air.

They watched, mesmerized, as the pastry and sweetly decorated trees flew from the pan, twirling through the air like miniature helicopters. The pan quickly returned to the earth pony that had thrown, who then promptly disappeared back into the kitchen with a pleasant smile still wrapped firmly around her features.

The rest of the tasty trees fell to counters around the store, where they began to dance around one another like a small delicious tango.

It took only a moment before various ponies from the large crowd in the store began to swoop them up, minor arguments beginning and ending over who could claim the pastries. The mares and stallions that had claimed their prizes eagerly galloped over to Mr. Cake behind the counter, paying up with bits at an alarming rate.

“You know,” Discord began again as he lightly tapped Dash and Twilight on their respective shoulders. “I know I’m new to the whole ‘understanding ponies’ thing, but I’d have to say that Mr. and Mrs. Cake do look like they are doing rather well.”

“Oh, I agree.” Fluttershy spoke from beside him, heard clear as a bell over the hustle and bustle of the shop. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen them so happy.”

“This is… unexpected.” Twilight confessed with a tight sigh. “But this is just one convenient outcome that you couldn’t have predicted.”

“Really now princess, I’m three for three here.” Discord challenged right back, his grin unchanging and pride undamaged. “Would you care to go triple or nothing?”

“You bet!” Dash spoke back quickly. “And I’m more than sure Zecora’s going to have a fit when she sees you again.”





“Discord, my foe now friend, it is grand to see you again!”

Twilight and Dash both felt their wings fall at the eager, and undeniably joyful, greeting from the zebra.

The pair stared at Zecora, standing at the doorway of her moved hut with a broad smile and pleasant tint in her eyes. She looked from the Mad God standing behind the trio of ponies to the mares standing at her height.

“Zecora,” Twilight spoke first, carefully. “You seem… really happy.” She noted dryly, mind either too stressed or pushed too far beyond belief to think of any better descriptors for the zebra’s behavior. “When we left you, you were in an almost platonic state of shock. What happened?”

“I’m glad you’ve asked me about this brief past,” The foreign pony spoke with the same genuine tone of joy in her voice. “But as it’s short, this tale won’t last. Shortly after two gave chase, I found myself with little time to waste. I began to maneuver to home, checking for all my spells and tomes. Yet when I finally made it in, the crowd around me made me spin.”

“That’s a good thing?” Twilight questioned, unsure of the zebra’s meaning. She didn’t want to blame her mannerism of speech, but the idea wasn’t undeniable either.

“A good thing as in the best yet, they came to me as if they were nett.” Despite the clear lack of anything actually being amiss, the amount of joy Zecora had was nothing less than disturbing to the alicorn and pegasus pair. “I expressed the fear of my home’s move, being clear that it was something I disapproved. No sooner did I release a sigh, than did a new pony catch my eye. He trotted to me through the crowd, making sure his voice was not too loud.”

“Wait…hold on…” Dash held up her hooves, slowly blinking as her mind worked. “You… found a special somepony?” The bark of laughter that came from the zebra did not agree or dismiss the pegasus’s words.

“I assure you I have not Rainbow Dash, I believe that would be quite rash.” Her head slowly shook before she started speaking again. “No, the stallion actually offered his aid, an action that eventually made the crowd sway.”

Instead of speaking of what happened next, however Zecora, turned her attention to the draconequus behind the pair.

“To Discord, the creature of many forms, one who cannot live within the norm.” The draconequus straightened himself, adjusting his scales like a suit. “Never did I think I’d say to you these words. Thank you Discord, that much you have earned.”

“It was my pleasure to help you,” the draconequus smoothly spoke, bowing with all the grace his twisted body possessed. “I assure you I only offer the finest in chaotic magic and creations.” The zebra merely shook her head before turning to Fluttershy.

“And to you as well, my pegasi friend. You have helped to bring about this satisfying end.” The meek pegasus shrunk at the words.

“M-Me?” Fluttershy spoke with timid trepidation. “B-But I wasn’t even here.” Zecora, once more, let out a chuckle of laughter before continuing.

“Without your sway over Discord’s acts, none of this would have come to pass. It is thanks to you for where my home resides. I enjoy it now for the company it helps provide.” Twilight was quick on the uptake.

“You like what Discord did, because it made you more… social?” The alicorn was already in disbelief with the words she spoke. “But that doesn’t make any sense! I thought you moved to the Everfree to avoid constant contact with society. You enjoy the solitude the forest provides, you told me that once, verbatim.”

“Solitude easies the mind, but it makes the soul unaligned. Too greatly did I judge Ponyville’s ways, so sure that mine avoided the craze. But the generosity of the ponies here; it is something I have never seen anywhere. To strangers like me and you, they are kind, thoughtful, and easy to talk to.”

“Well, I admit I was going for the convenience of location. I hear that’s all that matters with real state, but if it helps you in any other way to boot, that’s one more notch on the unexpected belt.” As if to prove his point, Discord grabbed the edges of his green scales, pulling on them like a fabric. He lifted them up as a mare would her dress, showing a black belt wrapped around his waist. It was either expected or normal to Fluttershy, as she didn’t so much as bat an eye. Twilight and Rainbow, however, watched on in silent shock. The draconequus dropped his scales back into place easily enough as well.

“It does get itchy underneath there though.” The comment earned a small giggle from the canary pegasus and striped mare. It did nothing but bring Twilight and Rainbow back to reality.

“Zecora,” Twilight spoke the mare’s name with an authoritative tone. “Can I ask you to go back inside. We need to speak to Discord now, alone.”

The content happiness that was just previously over the zebra’s face began to dissipate, leaving behind the usual façade of a wide mare. Her gaze turned from the pair to the draconequus and pegasus, who both shrugged lightly at the unasked question. When Zecora’s golden eyes turned back to Twilight, she nodded in agreement.

“I will leave you alone, just as you ask, but Discord,” she spoke with a small turn of her head. “Thank you one more for doing your task.”

Bowing her head, the zebra trotted lightly away, entering her now relocated home in the center of Ponyville.

As soon as her door shut, Rainbow began to vent.

“You know what? Fine, everything you’ve done so far has, somehow, miraculously, worked out to help out the ponies you were trying to help. Fine, I’ll take it and admit you were right about almost everything.” Discord raised his brow, but kept a knowing grin over his lips. Dash, before finishing her rant, reached a hoof over Twilight and pulled the alicorn closer to her, an action the mare fell gracefully into.

“But no matter what way you spin, casting a spell to make me and the egghead fall in love is a big no no!” The pegasus nodded her head a she was done, glaring up at Discord with a stern gaze and vicious eyes.

The draconequus, however, merely ran his claw through his goatee, looking down on the matching pair of ponies with a silent gaze. Silence from the Mad God was far more disturbing than any words he could have said, but neither the alicorn nor Wonderbolt in training were backing down.

“I see your point, and I must agree, forcing ponies to do anything is something I should deter from encouraging.” A victorious smile began to emerge of Dash’s lips, but, it was dashed like her name when Discord raised a single talon from his claw into the air. “But my dear little pony, there is something you are missing. Or, more accurately, creating.” The words caused Twilight’s head to slowly shake, her fur mingling with Rainbow’s as she did.

“I… don’t follow.” Twilight reluctantly spoke. A chuckle came from the draconequus, complete with a rise to his already tall posture. But instead of speaking commanding words down to him, he fell. All of his height disappeared as he lowered himself to a crouch, meeting the eye level of both mares. Fluttershy watched on from the sidelines, a hoof covering her mouth in polite silence. The, Discord spoke.

“I didn’t cast a spell on either of you.”

If a pin were dropped, it would have shattered the silence like a hammer to glass.

“You… didn’t… what?” Dash spoke with broken words, disbelief pouring from her. Discord, however, only savored the feeling.

“I didn’t cast a single spell on either of you.” He declared again, rising as he did so, until he towered over the pair. “Well… I did move you to face one another, but that was that. I was told and taught that being forced to do anything is wrong, so I wouldn’t force either of you to fall in love. I simply encouraged what I saw.”

“What… you saw?” Dash’s anger began to boil her blood. “What the hay are you talking about!?” While Rainbow released her anger in the common bouts her friends were used to, Twilight was instead silent as still air. Dash could only guess it was because she was trying to remember a banishment spell. She hoped it would leave an extra toasty crater where Discord was.

“Of course, it isn’t too hard to see.” Discord shrugged his shoulders, doing a small twirl before addressing the rightfully angered pair. “All I had to do was break that thick piece of ice between you two. And if there’s one thing even this old heart can admit, nothing melts the ice between a pair like a pair’s first kiss.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy softly spoke, a hot blush running through her canary cheeks. “And I thought Dash was going to confess first.”

Her words were not ignored.

“What?!” Rainbow shouted as she twisted to look at her friend. Fluttershy became still as a rock under the fiery pink gaze of her friend. “You mean you thought I had the hots for Twilight, too?! Uh uh, no way.” Dash shook her head as she went on. “I don’t buy it. Discord, you’re lying, simply as that. You cursed us, or cast a spell on us, or… or something!” Her ranting fell into the lines of a foal.

“Oh do give me some credit Rainbow,” Discord spoke again. “I never lie to any pony I see, though I admit deceit was a trick I long loved to practice. But no, I didn’t do anything to either you or our favorite little princess here. You two were simply in love the entire time.”

“That’s horse hay!” Dash shouted again. “There’s no way that me and Twilight were thinking anything like this before we met you. Ain’t that right, Twi?” The pegasus left off as she turned her head to look at the alicorn still in her hooves.

What she expected to see was a livid mare with furious eyes, reddened with rage and steeping with anger. What she could have easily believed was a half frantic alicorn, fallen into a bit of madness with the number of impossibilities just thrown at her.

What Dash did not expect was the blushing shy gaze of Twilight, quickly avoiding contact with Rainbow.

It brought a cold pit to the pegasus.

“Well, I see you two have a lot to talk about.” Discord left off with a small clap of his forelimbs. “But I’ve had enough for today, so I think I’m going to take a few hours and head by home. Coming Fluttershy?” The draconequus extended his paw to the meek pegasus, a polite smile over his crooked lips.

“Why, thank you Discord.” The pegasus spoke gratefully, placing a hoof on the Mad God’s paw. “Oh, Twilight, Rainbow,” she called out, slowly earning the gaze of the pair.

“You two do look wonderful together.”

Without another word, the pair vanished, leaving the pegasus and alicorn in an awkward embrace with one another.

The silence was deafening between them. Their furs still intermingled and heats exchanging. For a time, the only noise they cared to pay attention to were the sounds the other was making. Dash listened to Twilight’s slow and calm breathing, Twilight being attentive to Dash’s fidgeting hooves and wings.

“Dash,” Twilight meekly spoke, almost mimicking their now departed friend. The pegasus swallowed on nothing before answering.

“Yeah Twi,” she responded.

“Do you… want to go out? As in, on a date?” A slow sigh came from the tired pegasus’ lips.

“Yeah, sure. I’m game.”

They fell back against one another. The silence, this time, was welcomed. Their conjoined heat was all they needed.
> Epilogue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Discord asked his friend patiently, playing with a cactus he juggled in the air. “You know she isn’t expecting anything.”

“Oh, I know, but it would be rude to pretend like nothing happened.” Fluttershy spoke back in return, the rare flame of eagerness in her voice unmistakable. It was something Discord didn’t have the heart, or even the mind, to smother.

“Alright,” he spoke up, snapping his fingers and causing the cactus in the air to return to its regular shape. The chandelier shook lightly as it stilled itself on the ceiling.

Then pulling out a hair from his mane, he twizzled it until it grew into a large feather, ink already dripping from its end. He blew into the air, causing pieces of paper to materialize from his breath and flutter into his grasp. Discord held them up before giving them a slight snap, straightening their pages.

Then, twisting around until he was sitting on the sofa, he looked at the pegasus lying on the pillow across from him, her pleasant smile genuine, warm, and welcoming.

“Shoot.” Clearing her throat, Fluttershy began to dictate.

“Dear Princess Celestia,” she began. The sound of a scratching quill joined the air after her words. “As you know, it has been some time since Discord came to stay with me. While he has been doing his best to stay out of trouble, he was doing so at the expense of his own enjoyment. When I suggested that he start helping ponies instead of hurting them, he didn’t immediately agree. But with some encouragement, he agreed he’d give it a try.” One of the papers fluttered from Discord’s grasp. It flew through the air, rising and falling in normally impossible ways, until it landed on a table next to the pegasus. Fluttershy spoke on.

“At first, it seemed like he was doing a bad job, scaring a lot of ponies and making things works in ways no pony was used to. Rainbow Dash and Twilight tried to stop Discord from helping ponies, but…” the pegasus put a hoof to her chin in thought, curious on how to phrase the next part of her story. The hoof fell as the idea popped into her mind. “But Discord only ended up helping them, too.” The draconequus lightly snickered at the statement.

“In the end, however, Discord actually did help the ponies around Ponyville, in his own special way. It’s true that no pony could see what he was doing, not until he was done. When he was though, oh, it turned out to be wonderful.”

“So it just goes to show, just because somepony isn’t doing what you would do, doesn’t mean they are doing it wrong. We should trust our friends with what they try, and believe in them the same way we believe in oursevles. Your loyal student, Fluttershy.”

The papers disappeared in a flash of green flames.

“And print.”