> Scissors and Spoons
>  by Br0nyb0y123
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: Seven Minutes, Secrets, Lies and Faults
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snails and I were walking to School, both equipped with our saddle packs and it was a beautiful Tuesday, the birds were tweeting in the trees and the Sun Celestia raised was shining bright in the sky. Unlike other the days we walked to School, he called on me at my house, instead of me calling on him. He's been acting awfully strange the past two days, now that I come to think of it, maybe he's keeping something from me, or trying to surprise me with something, I'm really not sure, because he's still got that smirk going on, and he's been saying he has an idea he wants to tell me about, but he never said when he was going to tell me about it,

"So....Snails, dude, how come you decided to call on me this morning?" I curiously asked him.
"Just a little change-up, man" he replied to me.
"Have you done your history homework, Snails?" I asked him to change the subject.
"Aww fu....damn it, I didn't" Snails replied as he stopped in his tracks and stomped his front left hoof.
"Hey man, it wasn't really important homework, just something about the Grand Galloping Gala and it's origins" I told him.
"Yeah, I guess" He replied, "Speaking of which, remember I had that idea I said I was going to tell you about?" He asked.
"Yeah, what about it?" I replied.
"Well, since the Grand Galloping Gala is coming up, I though it would be a great time for you to...."
"Wait. Wait. Wait. It's coming up?" I interrupted him whilst being completely surprised.
"Yeah, Snips. Did you even know why we were doing the homework in the first place?" He asked me.
"Um....um...I...didn't....uh..." I stuttered, I hate that.
Snails laughed, "Oh my god, man! It's ten days away!" He chuckled and almost hurt the sides of his face by laughing to much.
"Shut the hell up, dude. Besides, you have an idea, you said?" I asked, whilst still blushing in embarrassment after I didn't know when the gala was.
"Oh yeah. I was saying, since the Gala is coming up, this could be a perfect opportunity for you to ask Silver Spoon on a date" He explained.

I suddenly froze, I just stopped, everything in my body froze up, and the sudden dryness of my eyes made me continue on. But Snails uttering the words "Date" and "Gala" with the name "Silver Spoon" added into the mix, it made me shut down and think, I couldn't possible ask Silver Spoon on a date to the Gala, the girl I've had a crush on since kindergarten and she is the second most popular filly in my School, with the crown of popularity ironically going to the bitch with "Tiara" in her name. And besides she probably doesn't even like me, and I'm too shy to even ask any girl out on a date, I mean, I look terrible, my mane is almost always a mess, I've got massive bushy eyebrows and I've got the two buckteeth that makes me look like a rabbit, so any girl in her right mind would probably reject me, though I have been kissed before, but that during a party game,

"I can't, Snails" I told him.
"Why not?" he asked me.
"She's the second most popular pony in School, she's best friends with the most popular pony in School. And let's face it, man, it'll never work with us, she'll probably reject me and insult me" I replied to him.
"Not really, dude" he explained.
"What do you mean?" I asked him with intrigue.
"She won't insult you. Remember how you were off School three weeks ago?" He replied and asked me.
"Yeah, I remember" I replied.
"Well, when you were off that day, so was Diamond Tiara" He explained, "So it's whenever she's around Diamond Tiara, she acts horrible to everyone, which is around 80% of the time. But when she's not with Diamond Tiara, it's like she's a completely different pony" He told me.

That has made me think slightly differently about Silver Spoon, I knew there was something behind her somewhat bitchy exterior, but I would've never have thought that she is in fact a nice pony, but that is somewhat understandable, maybe it's Diamond Tiara who pressures her into bullying others, like the Cutie Mark Crusaders or maybe she hangs around with her, so she's the one who doesn't get bullied,

"So you gonna ask her?" Snails asked me.
"I don't know, Snails. Besides I don't think I have the money to buy the tickets for the Gala anyways" I sighed and replied.
"Snips, I can help you with that, man. Besides I owe you one after I got stuck in the closet during everyponies seven minutes in heaven during that party and you managed to get me out of it" He said, "Which pony did you have your seven minutes with?"
"Sweetie Belle" I didn't want to go into too much detail.
"How was it?" He asked me.
"Dude, that's creepy. Don't ask that" I replied to his creepy question.
"Sorry, dude" Snails apologised.
"It's OK, Snails. To be honest, it was pretty awesome, but that's all I'm gonna say about it" I explained to him.
"OK, Snips." He replied.
"OK, so back to Gala talk, you said you would help me?" I made sure with him.
"Yeah, I said I'll help you. So, listen, I'll pay for the tickets for you, Snips" He went on further.
"Well, if she says no, then it's all for nothing. Thanks, man" I said to him.
"Don't mention it" He replied.
"How are you even going to get the money? It's like 30 bits a ticket, and I know you don't have 60 bits on you" I told him.
"I have my methods" Snails replied, being mysterious as usual.

We finally made it to School, and five minutes before the bell, so what me and Snails usually do when waiting for the bell is sit out on the table and talk about random crap,

"So what are you doing after school, Snips?" Snails asked me.
"I have to hand these books back to Twilight, but aside from that, I don't think I'm doing anything really" I replied to him.
"Cool, maybe you and me can get high off our flanks again" Snails optioned.
"Maybe" I spoke back with a tiring tone in my voice.
"What's the matter, Snips?" my friend asked me.

I placed my front legs on the table and fold them over and I lean my head against them,

"Nothing's wrong, Snails, it's just I'm not sure how to ask her out" I told him.
"Snips, man, it's easy. Just a moment with her alone and ask her, get high if that's easier for you" Snails replied to me.
I chuckled slightly, "I won't get high, but that's a good idea about getting alone with her"
"I know" he replied nonchalantly.

Me and Snails' conversation paused for a moment once we both saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon pass by us, Diamond Tiara acting with exposition and being an all-out diva and Silver Spoon, trying to act like her friend.

"Speak of the devil" Snails uttered.
"Huh, yeah" I replied.

The two fillies that passed us trotted along towards the building and in their way, was the Cutie Mark Crusaders,

"Out of our way, blank flanks" Diamond Tiara shouted at them.
"Yeah, um...blank flanks" Silver Spoon awkwardly shouted after her.

Seeing Silver Spoon do that is painful for me to watch, I can tell she doesn't want to do it, but at the same time, it's like she's forcing herself to do so she doesn't disappoint her friend, and even how the Cutie Mark Crusaders are being treated like that is painful to watch, but they mostly get insults like that every school day and most of the time, they don't don't give a shit,

"Diamond Tiara is such a bitch to them" I said to Snails.
"Yeah, but does it really matter, if they have a Cutie Mark or not?" He asked me.
"Not really, they're still finding out who they are. They just found out before them" I explained to him.
"Yeah, same as us" Snails replied.

The bell rang. School has now officially started. Me and Snails left the bench to make it towards the actual building, once we entered me and Snails went to sit in our respected seats, the middle of five rows, five seats in each row, Snails sat at the very left, I sat beside him, and beside me, was none other than my seven minutes in heaven buddy, Sweetie Belle and the rest of the row had the rest of CMC sitting in the seats. As soon as we all sat in our seats, got our equipment out and placed our saddle packs under our seats, Miss Cheerilee came in and greeted us,

"Good morning, Class"
"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee" The entire class greeted back.
"OK, so just to get this out of the way, if you haven't done your homework, raise your hoof, I won't get mad" She told us

Three ponies raised their hooves, Snails, Twist and Silver Spoon,

"OK, my little ponies, I'm not mad at you three, I'm only slightly disappointed at you three, and I'm going to give you all a slight punishment.."
"Ahh no" Snails and Twist said.
"Let me finish, I was going to say you're not getting detention, though I am going to change the seating plan, though it's only for a week. See, not a huge punishment" Cheerilee explained to them.

A seating change? Seems like it could be bad, though it can work out for me, though I know Snails won't sit with me, it could be a 50/50 of me sitting beside Twist or Silver Spoon, obviously I choose the latter, it's not that I don't like Twist, I have my mutual respect for her, we just wouldn't get along I don't think,

"Twist?" Miss Cheerilee asked her.
"Yesh, Missh Cheerilee?" she replied.
"Can you move over to Silver Spoon's desk please" Cheerilee told her.

Holy shit, my prayers have been answered. Now I just have to wait for Cheerilee to say it,

"Snails, can you move to Twist's desk please?" Cheerilee told him.

Snails took his stuff with him and went over to the row in front of me, in Twist's desk beside Dinky Hooves at the far right of the row, Twist went over with her things over to Silver Spoon's desk, right beside Diamond Tiara at the very left of the row, I can only feel sorrow for her, but nevertheless, at least the girl I have crush on is sitting beside me,

"OK, I guess you don't need to be told sit in Snails' seat, Silver Spoon" Miss Cheerilee said to her.
"No, Miss" Silver Spoon replied to her.
"OK, everypony. I need to finish this paperwork, chat to yourselves just now if you want" Miss Cheerilee explained

Silver got her stuff and brought it over too Snails' desk, and sat beside me, I looked at Sweetie Belle beside me, her face had a disgusted look about her since Silver Spoon was here, as did Scootaloo and Applebloom. I looked back two rows behind me to see Twist sitting beside Diamond Tiara, that was an awkward sight to behold, Twist looked like she was shitting herself in fear beside Diamond Tiara, and speaking of her she had an extremely pissed off look at the teacher, who is doing her paperwork, not noticing Diamond Tiara. I then turned my head to face the front of the class, only for my eye to catch Snails' attention, I faced him instead. He had that dopey smile and half closed eyes, and pointed his pupils towards Silver Spoon, and raised his eyebrows, taunting me. I looked at him with a put on frown and shook my head, i then felt a sudden nudge on my left foreleg,

"Excuse me, Snips?" Silver Spoon got my attention.
"Uh...yeah?" I replied.
"Sorry to ask, but I was hoping you'd have an extra pen or pencil I could borrow?" She asked me.
I nodded, "Sure, let me check"
"Thank you" She smiled.

I levitated my saddle pack up onto my desk, I opened one of the pouches to find three pencils and an eraser, I took out two of the pencils and the eraser, I put my pack under my desk again, and I levitated one of the pencils over to her,

"Here you g-"

THUD. A loud thud came from behind me, the thud came from outside and made all us jump, and caused me to drop my pencil. Miss Cheerilee went outside and told us she was going to check what caused the thud,

"Oops, sorry I dropped my pencil" I said to her.
"It's OK" Silver Spoon replied to me.
"I'll get it" I told her, as I leaned over to get it.
"No, no, let me" Silver Spoon spoke, as she leaned forward to get it.

The both of us leaned forward and accidentally bumped our heads together, it actually didn't hurt that much,

"Ouch" Silver Spoon said.
"Sorry" I replied to her.
"Ha, it's OK, I should've let you get it yourself, I should say sorry" Silver Spoon chuckled as she rub her forehead.
"No need to be sorry" I told her.
"OK, thanks" She smiled.

I leaned over to get my pencil once more, I got my head close enough for me to levitate it with my magic, I raised my head and the pencil followed, I placed it on Silver's desk and she said,

"Thanks, Snips, I'll give it back to you by the end of the day"
"Sure thing" I replied to her.

Miss Cheerilee suddenly stepped back inside after she found out what it was that made the loud thud,

"OK, Class, let's start our today's lesson, and I'll be sure that no more animals fly into the wall outside" Miss Cheerilee told us, "OK, so whoever did do their homework, please raise their hoof"

All but Snails, Twist and Silver Spoon raised their hooves. Then Cheerilee pointed at a random pony in the class,

"Sweetie Belle, what was it we were researching?" She asked her, while pointing at her.
"The History of the Grand Galloping Gala" Sweetie Belle replied.
"And why do you think we were researching it at this time?" She asked her again.
"Because....um....it's coming up soon?" She awkwardly replied.
"Correct, it's coming up, so I can't think of a better time to talk about it" Cheerilee told us.

Lucky us, I think to myself, I mean, I don't mind talking about the Gala, but I think everyone has a clear idea of what it is, it's apparently known as one of the greatest parties held in Equestria, however, most of the guests are pompous Canterlot douchebags, who mostly have their heads jammed up their rectal facility. But anyways that's my opinion on the guests at the party, or just most Canterlot ponies in general,

"So what can you tell me about the Gala?" Miss Cheerilee asked us.

I raised my hoof,

"Yes, Snips" Miss Cheerilee said.
"It comes once every year, being a celebration of the day of Celestia's Coranation" I said.

Look at me, being a smartass,

"You're right about it being once a year, the other answer, not so much" My teacher told me.

I thought too soon, everyone chuckled slightly, even Silver Spoon, it was slightly embarrassing.
As Cheerilee went on, I was thinking to myself,

"Good god, when is this over?"

I looked at the clock above the chalkboard, it's almost recess, only two more minutes of this crap left to go,

"-and that's why it's called the Grand Galloping Gala, Diamond Tiara" Cheerilee told Diamond Tiara while I wasn't paying any attention, "OK Class, since that it's almost recess, just wait in a line by the door"

All of us instantly got out of our seats and made it towards the door, I was third in line and Snails was fourth in line beside me,

"Liking the new seating plan, Snips?" Snails quietly asked me.
"Shut up, man" I replied to him.
"Look man, you sitting beside two girls, one of them is the one you have a crush on and the other is one who spent seven minutes in a closet with you, doing only unimaginable things, this is like a heaven for you" Snails spoke out.
"Fuck, Snails could you say that any louder?" I quietly shouted at him.
"Hehe, sorry Snips" he chuckled.
"Yeah, laugh it up, asshole" I replied to him

The Bell rang, recess, time to get chill for ten minutes, and see if Snails can stop making jokes about girls I like or liked.





During recess, not much happened, though Miss Cheerilee ended up throwing up for some unknown reason and has said she can't continue teaching, so she's allowed us to eat our lunch and then be on our way and the school day has been cancelled, this only happens like once every seven months; she gets sick, we take our packs outside, she leaves and we still have lunch on school grounds, then we part homewards.
Right now, me and Snails were sitting at a bench close to the school, he was having soup from a flask, tomato, I think it was and I was having a cheese and ham sandwich, then, much to my expectations, he went on about girls again,

"Maybe she likes you, man"
"Do you know you have a one-track mind?" I asked him sarcastically.
"Yeah, but that's not the point. You should really make a move, besides, she might be into losers" He explained.
"I'm not a loser" I replied.
"C'mon, man, me and you are both losers. We both used to worship a phony magician" He went on further.
"That was only one thing" I said.
"Ursa Minor" Snails reminded me.
"Fuck, that was our faults too" I just noticed, "Yeah, maybe we are losers"
"See?" Snails told me, "Anyways, you almost finished your food?"
"I haven't been able to finish the second half of my sandwich due to us talking" I replied to him.
"Take your time man" Snails said.
"I will" I said back.

I levitated the second half of my sandwich and munched on it quickly, like the tubby bastard I am. After I ate my food, I got off the bench and put my saddle-pack on,

"You ready?" I asked Snails.
"Sure am" He replied.

The both of us, left the school grounds and made our way back home, on the way there, I asked him,

"Don't you usually go to your gram's on Tuesday?"
"Yeah, my parents get home later on a Tuesday, I always go to my gran's home" He replied.
"Isn't her street somewhere here?" I asked again.
"Yeah, it's just around there" Snails told me.
"Alright, man. Catch you later" I bid my farewell.
"Sure thing, dude. I'll get you those tickets as well" Snails said as he turned around and went down his gran's road.

Now, I'm just solo at the moment, since my parents aren't really expecting me home, I have enough time to hand the books I borrowed from the library, I trotted along the path that led to the library, until I heard a voice from behind me, I turned around and it didn't sound like Snails, it sounded like Silver Spoon calling my name,

"Snips! Snips!" Her voice cried out, "Can you wait there please?!"
"Sure!" I loudly replied.

She manage to catch up to me, she looked like she was slightly exhausted,

"I was just heading somewhere until I saw you" She said, "I just wanted to give you back this"
"Give me what?" I asked her.
"Oh, let me get it" She replied.

She was carrying her saddle-pack and she turned her head and dug through to find the pencil I let her borrow during class,

"Oh, that?" I asked, "That's OK, you can keep it"
"Come on, I just galloped over to you just to give you this back and you won't accept it?" She asked.
"Well, since you put in the effort, I'll take it off your hooves" I replied to her.
"Thanks" She said.
"No problem" I spoke back.

I levitated the pencil away from her and back into my saddle-pack, I then went to ask her,

"So...uh...you said you were headed somewhere?" I asked.
"Yeah, I was heading to the library" Silver Spoon replied.
"Cool, I'm heading there as well" I added.
"Awesome, you handing in a book or taking one out?" She asked.
"Handing one in, it's just something about the Grand Galloping. What about you?" I replied then asked.
"Handing in Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb" She replied.
"Cool" I said, "Good books, eh?"
"Yeah, fun ones, I like all that adventure sort of stuff, I know it's more of a boy thing, but I don't care, you know?"
"Yeah, I know" I replied, "So, uh...you want to walk with me, to the library, if you want?"
"Yeah. Yeah" She nodded, "Sure"

Now I'm walking to the library with the girl I have a crush on, and I might be crazy but, I'm going to follow on with Snails' idea of being alone with her and asking her to the gala.
> Chapter 2: Juice, Moods, Galas and Feelings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Diamond Tiara were in my house, ten minutes left until School, and I live literally beside the place. Before we head off, me and my friend are just going to have a glass of juice or something else,

"What are you wanting to drink, Diamond?" I asked her.
"Can I get milk if you have any please, Silver" DT replied.
"Coming right up" I told her.

I got myself orange juice out the fridge and I got milk for Diamond Tiara, I filled us our drinks in glasses. Once I filled them, I passed over Diamond Tiara's milk and she asked me,

"Did you do the homework?"
"No, I forgot to, it was the Gala thing wasn't it?" I replied and asked.
"Yeah, it's in like ten days time" Diamond Tiara explained.

I finished my orange juice and was waiting for Diamond Tiara to finish her milk, I put my glass in the sink and stood by the back door waiting for her,

"Ten, you said? You thinking of going?" I asked her.
"Maybe. What about yourself?" Diamond Tiara replied.
"I might do, if I can get a date" I told her.
"Ooh, look at you, wanting a man for the Gala" She sarcastically replied.
"Yeah, just wanting a nice guy" I said.
"Why not a good looking one?" She asked me, as she finished her milk
"I don't care about looks, I just need a guy who genuinely likes me" I spoke back.

Diamond Tiara put her glass in the sink and came over to the back door with me, 

"Bye Dad" I shouted out.
"Bye Hon" My dad called out.

I closed the door behind me, and then me and Diamond Tiara, walked up the hill to School,

"So you said you don't care about looks?" Diamond asked.
"Yeah, so?" I replied.
"Oh, nothing, it's just I'm into more stronger, tougher guys" She said.
"Which totally explains why you spent seven minutes in heaven with Pipsqueak, and spent an extra two weeks dating him" I made a come-back.
"Pip was different" Diamond explained.
"Of course he was" I sarcastically replied.

We both made it up to the School grounds, we passed Snips and Snails, Snips was looking distressed about something, and then me and DT made it to the entrance, sadly enough, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were in front of the entrance, which is a call for me to "get into character", however for Diamond Tiara, it's just normal for her,

"Out of our way, blank flanks" She shouted at them.

God, she's probably expecting me to say something,

"Yeah, um...blank flanks" I awkwardly shouted at them.

What the fuck was that? That was terrible. Oh my god, I wonder how many around us saw that. I always feel like crap when I do that to ponies that don't have their Cutie Mark, but me and Diamond Tiara have been friends since we were little, and if I don't do what she does, she'll probably won't be my friend anymore, and since she is almost completely horrible to everypony, ponies see her as a bitch, and since I follow in her hoofsteps, ponies see me as a bitch.
The bell rang, me and Diamond Tiara were already inside the building, sitting in our seats at the back row, I was at the very left and Diamond Tiara was beside me, then Miss Cheerilee came inside and greeted us with,

"Good morning, Class"
"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee" All of us greeted back.
"OK, so just to get this out of the way, if you haven't done your homework, raise your hoof, I won't get mad" Miss Cheerilee said.

Fucking hell, I knew this would be said soon. I raised my hoof along with two others, Twist and Snails,

"OK, my little ponies, I'm not mad at you three, I'm only slightly disappointed at you three, and I'm going to give you all a slight punishment.."
"Ahh no" Twist and Snails wailed.

Oh. My God. Give her a chance to finish what she's going to say,

"Let me finish, I was going to say you're not getting detention, though I am going to change the seating plan, though it's only for a week. See, not a huge punishment" She told Twist and Snails.

Yeah, maybe let her finish next time, you impatient ponies.
Besides, seating changes aren't a bad punishment, and since it's only for a week, I can't really argue with the teacher, and I guess it really depends who I sit beside,

"Twist?" My teacher asked of her.
"Yesh, Missh Cheerilee?" She asked back.
"Can you move over to Silver Spoon's desk please" Cheerilee commanded.

Oh right, I see now, it's a three-way swap, Twist goes to my desk, Snails goes to hers and I go to his.
I moved out of Twist's way so she could sit beside Diamond Tiara, and all I would to be saying is,

"Good luck, because, you better get used to her making fun of you, because she is harsh, brutal and takes absolutely no chances what so fucking ever"

But I don't want to scare the poor filly, she'll just get what's coming, and I feel complete sorrow for her,

"Snails, can you move to Twist's desk please?" She told him.

He got his stuff and moved to Twist's desk, while he was getting his stuff, she moved over to my desk and sat there with a face that told me she is scared out of her mind. Snails then made it to his new seat, beside Dinky Hooves at the very right of the second row. Then my teacher to me,

"OK, I guess you don't need to be told to sit in Snails' seat, Silver Spoon"
"No, Miss" I replied to her.
"OK, everypony. I need to finish this paperwork, chat to yourselves just now if you want" She told us all.

I dragged my things two rows forward, still at the very left and I was put beside Snips, Snails' best friend. Snips is a nice dude, I will admit, really generous and polite, though around his friend, he can be a somewhat immature jackass, much like how I'm a bitch to others with Diamond Tiara. Also in my row were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I saw their faces when I was bringing my things over and they looked pissed to see me, no wonder, based on the fact me and Diamond have terrorized them for ages. I checked my saddle-pack for a pencil but I didn't find anything, except my jotters and a book I'm meant to hand back to Twilight after School. Since I don't have a pencil, my only choices are to ask Cheerilee, who is still doing her paperwork and would probably get aggravated if I asked her at this time, for a pencil, or ask the possible stoner sitting beside. I go for the latter, by nudging him on his left foreleg,

"Excuse me, Snips?" I asked him.
"Uh...yeah?" He replied, sounding slightly groggily.
"Sorry to ask, but I was hoping you'd have an extra pen or pencil I could borrow? I asked again.
He nodded quickly, "Sure, let me check"
"Thank you" I replied and smiled at him.

He got his saddle on his desk from under it, and scavenged for a pencil, he got out a pencil and eraser for himself and levitated an extra pencil for me, the sweetie,

"Here you g-"

THUD. A loud bang came from the right side of the building, causing Snips to get a fright and drop his pencil, and I'm pretty sure everypony got a fright, even I did. So Cheerilee told us she was going outside to see what caused the thud, personally I think Rainbow Dash was drinking too much and she flew into the wall,

"Oops, sorry I dropped my pencil" Snips apologized.
"It's OK" I replied.
"I'll get it" he said to me, whilst he was leaning over to get it.
"No, no, let me" I spoke back to him, also leaning forward to get it.

The two of us both leaned forward at the time, causing our heads to bump together, it actually kind of hurt me, but not too much, and Snips didn't mean it, so I can't really argue with him,

"Ouch" I said.
"Sorry" He replied to me.
"Ha, it's OK, I should've let you get it yourself, I should say sorry" I laughed slightly whilst rubbing the sore part of my skull.
"No need to be sorry" Snips told me.
"OK, thanks" I smiled at him at him again.

I let him lean over again to pick his pencil up, he levitated it on to my desk,

"Thanks, Snips, I'll give it back to you by the end of the day" I told him.
"Sure thing" He replied.

Suddenly Miss Cheerilee came back inside after inspecting what made that loud on the outside wall, she never told us what it was, but I still hold to my Rainbow Dash suspection,

"OK, Class, let's start our today's lesson, and I'll be sure that no more animals fly into the wall outside" Miss Cheerilee told us, "OK, so whoever did do their homework, please raise their hoof" She said to us.

All of the ponies in class, with the exception of me, Twist and Snails, raised their hooves. then Cheerilee decided to test one of the ponies who had their hoof raised,

"Sweetie Belle, what was it we were researching?" She asked and pointed at her.
Sweetie Belle replied with, "The History of the Grand Galloping Gala"
"And why do you think we're researching it at this time?" Cheerilee asked again.
"Because....um....it's coming up soon?" She painfully and awkwardly replied, as she was taking a guess.
"Correct, it's coming up, so I can't think of another time to talk about it" Our teacher explained to us.

That could be interesting, if I plan on going on a date with somepony to the Gala, maybe it would good to get a little history of the event before I go, though I've heard it's a huge party, mostly attended by posh, Canterlot ponies, a type of pony I don't like particularly, mainly because they think we're scumbags because we're not as rich as them, and I don't hold well to that,

"So what can you tell me about the Gala?" Cheerilee asked us.

Snips raised his hoof, attempting to be a smartass,

"Yes, Snips" Cheerilee pointed at him.
"It comes once every year, being a celebration of the day of Celestia's Coronation" He replied to her.
"You're right about it being once a  year, the other answer, not so much" Cheerilee told him.

And everypony in class sniggered and giggled at him, maybe because his determination to impress us was overcome by an unsatisfying pay-off for him, the poor guy,

"OK, so the reason we have the Grand Galloping is because it's a party in honor of the Princess sister's mother's birthday"

Diamond Tiara raised her hoof,

"Yes, Diamond Tiara?" She asked her.
"How come it's called the Grand Galloping Gala?" Diamond Tiara replied and asked.
"Well, since it's one of the biggest parties in Equestria, that's where the "Grand" stands in it's title, and believe it or not, it never used to be a party for all ponies in Canterlot, it used to be a march for the soldiers before Celestia and Luna's reign, and the name stuck" She explained to her student.
"Oh right" Diamond Tiara replied.
"And that's why it's called the Grand Galloping Gala, Diamond Tiara" She said to her as she looked at the clock above the blackboard, "OK Class, since that it's almost recess, just wait in a line by the door"

Everypony almost instantly left their seats and waited in line, but me and Diamond Tiara were the two late ones to the line and made it to the back of the line,

"How's your new seat?" Diamond asked me.
"It's not too bad, at least I'm not sitting right beside the Cutie Mark Crusaders" I replied.
"Yeah, the fucking blank flanks" She whispered to me, so Cheerilee doesn't hear us cussing.
"Don't you think, you're maybe a tad too harsh to them?" I asked her.
"Not really, I do what I want, when I want" She told me.

Holy shit, my friend is a psychopath,

"Maybe just give them a day of not hearing it, maybe don't make fun of them everyday" I explained to her.
"Well, maybe if they had their Cutie Marks then they'd have my respect" Diamond Tiara replied to me.
"Ha, Pip never had his Cutie Mark and you gave him plenty of respect" I jokingly told her.
"Shut up, I said Pip was different" She spoke back.
"How?" I asked her.
"He just is" She replied.

There is no point for me to begin arguing with her, she'll just get more aggravated and get depressed, and will take her anger out on someone, so really, no one would be happy,

"OK, if you say so" I said.
"Yeah, I say so" She said back.

The bell rang, time for recess, a ten minute break where i can chat to my friend about what she's doing tonight, or maybe something that won't make her pissed off or depressed at me.





OK, the end of the school happens during recess, for one thing, my teacher was vomiting up the bacon and eggs she had for breakfast this morning, so now me and the rest of my class are pretty happy. Cheerilee said that we could have our lunches on school grounds, then go home, after she said that, she made her way home to possibly vomit some more. So me and Diamond Tiara had our lunches at the shadier side of the school, to keep cool. For lunch, I had a salad, since I'm vegetarian and Diamond Tiara had a ham sandwich, we both sat there in silence, she was pissed at me and I was annoyed at her for being horrible to everypony,

Diamond Tiara sighed, "Sorry about that back there"
"I'm sorry too" I apologized as well.
"You're right about me being too harsh to them the more I think about it" She told me.
"I'm just sorry about all the stuff I said about you and Pip" I told her.
"It's alright" She replied, "Listen, I know I can be a bitch sometimes.."
"You know, the word "sometimes" means.." I interrupted her.
"OK, I can be a bitch a lot of the time, but when the fact of the matter is.." She paused.
"Is what?" I asked her.
"I suffer from a mood disorder" She replied with her eyes closed, expecting a negative reaction, "One of things I do to stop myself from completely turning into a psycho is making fun of others, it makes me feel better. I'm sorry I never told you before"

Wow, I knew my friend had something wrong with her, but I never knew it was a mental illness. This is the most deep thing she's ever said to me, and I never knew about it,

"Oh my god, how long have you had it?" I asked her.
"Five years" She replied.
"Wow, DT, I'm sorry to hear that. What kind of disorder do you have?" I asked again.
"I'm not sure, but my mom said I'm able to make myself calmer by using my own made-up methods, and making fun of people seems to do the trick" She explained to me as she finally finished her sandwich.
"Shit. Well...do you to talk about it or something else?" I asked.
"Something else please" She replied.
"Doing anything tonight?" I asked.
"I don't think so" She replied, "What about you?"
"No, that's why I asked" I jokingly replied.
"Oh right" She chuckled.
"So no, I'm not doing anything. Maybe you'd want to come around to my house tonight" I optioned.
"That'd be cool" Diamond agreed.

Diamond felt much more happy now, and due to me finding out she has a mental illness, really makes view my friend differently, because even though I don't necessarily agree on her making fun of others, but she at least has a reason why she does it, but maybe I can talk her into using a different method,

"Listen, Silver, I'll be going now, I'll catch you later" She said as she got up.
"See you" I bid farewell.

Diamond nodded and left the school grounds to make her way back home, I still sat at the shadier side of the school by myself, everypony else was at the other side, but it was peaceful here, the wind lightly brushing off the leaves and the bird tweeting, it was nice. As I finished the final pieces of lettuce, tomatoes and carrots, I noticed that I didn't hear any banter or chat on the other side, so either, they have all quieted down, or I'm the only one left on school grounds.

I finished my salad and put the tub I was eating the salad out of, back in my saddle-pack. I then got myself up and got my saddle-pack ready, I then made it to the other side of the school, to see nopony there, they all gone,

I sighed, "Well, I guess I might as well take this book I have back to the library" I spoke to myself.

I left the school grounds and walked down the road that was closest to the library, thinking to myself more about the Gala. Can I get a date? Does it really matter who he is? I can't be sure, but I only hope it's somepony nice, somepony who cares, somepony like...

"Alright man. Catch you later" A voice spoke out.
"Sure thing, dude. I'll get those tickets as well" Another voice followed after.

I moved further up the street to see that the two ponies speaking were Snips and Snails. Wait, holy shit, of course! I need somepony like Snips, he's a nice guy, really polite, kind and generous, besides I think he might like me, and I like him. He is also willing to give things to others, like a pencil. Oh fuck, I haven't given that back yet. I started to pick up the pace and started to shout his name,

"Snips! Snips!"

He turned around to see I was galloping up to him,

"Snips! Snips!" I cried out, "Can you wait there please?!" I loudly asked him.
"Sure!" He shouted back to me.

I caught up to him, I was gasping for air in exhaust, after picking up a fast pace to catch up to him,

"I was just heading somewhere until I saw you" I explained to him, "I just wanted to give you this back"
"Give me what?" He questioned.
"Oh, let me get it" I just realized.

She twisted my head into the left pouch in my saddle-pack and dug through my things to get his pencil he lent to me about half an hour ago, I showed it to him and he said,

"Oh that?" He asked, "That's OK, you can keep it" Snips added.
"Come on, I just galloped over to you just to give this back and you won't accept it? I asked him.
"Well, since you put in the effort, I'll take it off your hooves" He told me.

I thought so,

"Thanks" I smiled.
"No problem" He replied.

He took his pencil back and placed it in his saddle-pack, he then asked,

"So...uh...you said you were headed somewhere?" He asked me.

Aww, he's looking for something to say, how adorable, I can tell he likes me,

"Yeah, I was heading to the library" I replied to his question.
"Cool, I'm heading there as well" Snips told me.
"Awesome, you handing a book or taking one out? I asked him.
Handing one in, it's just something about the Grand Galloping. What about you?" He replied and asked me.
"Handing in Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb" I told him.
"Cool" He said, "Cool books, eh?"
"Yeah, fun ones, I like all that adventure sort of stuff, I know it's more of a boy thing, but I don't care, you know?" I ranted on.
"Yeah, I know" He replied, "So, uh...you want to walk with me, to the library, if you want?" He shyly asked.
"Yeah. Yeah" I replied, "Sure"

Aww, this adorable, he's the perfect date for me, I just hope he's asks me out on a date, or better yet, a date to the Gala.
> Chapter 3: My Library Experience with Silver Spoon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Silver Spoon finally made it to the library, the day had gotten a little more dull, dark clouds had covered the Sun, damn Pegasi managed to get the weather shittier again, sooner or later it's going to rain, for the fifth time in the past three days.
Once me and Silver made it up to the door of Twilight's Tree Home and Library, I knocked on it to check if she was there, the door opened, but it wasn't her answering the door, it was her so-called faithful assistant, Spike, the shit-eating dragon, that me and Snails, don't necessarily like, due to him being a complete and utter dick to me and Snails,

"Hey Silver Spoon" Spike greeted her with a smile.
"Hey Spike" She greeted back.
"Handing in a book?" Spike asked her.
"Yeah" Silver Spoon replied.
"OK, I'll call Twilight" He told her and then faced me, "Hey Snips, asshole"
"Sorry Spike, I can't understand you, maybe because you're talking with a mouth-full of shit"
"Speak for yourself" He said as he turned around to shout for Twilight, "Hey Twilight! Two ponies handing in books!"
"Down in a bit, Spike" Twilight shouted from her room.
"Yeah, just wait out here" The douchebag dragon told us

He then pointed to me and then to Silver Spoon, and then he asked with curiosity,

"You two date?"
"No" I tried to say.
"Maybe" Silver Spoon interrupted me before I could finish.
"Well, all I can say to you, Silver Spoon, is good luck, he will stress you out" Spike said to her.
"Hey Spike, Rarity has a boyfriend" I lied to him, to shut him up.
"Fuck you, man" Spike replied.
"Same to you" I spoke back.

Twilight then came to the door, and wasn't aware that her dragon assistant and I were arguing,

"Hey Snips, hey Silver Spoon" Twilight greeted us.
"Hey Twilight" I greeted.
"Afternoon" Silver Spoon greeted.
"Shouldn't you two be in School?" Twilight asked us.
"No, Cheerilee got sick, so she cancelled school today" Silver Spoon replied.
"Oh, I see" Twilight said, "You guys handing in something or do you want to take something out?"
"I'm handing something in" I replied.
"Both, Twilight" Silver replied to her.
"What are you two handing in?" Twilight asked us.
"I'm handing Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb, I was wondering if I could find another book please?"
"Sure thing" Twilight told Silver Spoon, "What are you handing in, Snips?"
"A book on the Grand Galloping Gala" I replied.
"Oh, you two going there together?" Twilight asked us.

Holy shit, I wish,

"We might be" Silver Spoon told her.

Wait. This is the second time she's done this, is she just joking around or does she.....actually like me?

"Well, about a year ago, me and my friends went to the Gala, turns out our expectations were let down" Twilight told us.
"How?" I asked her.
"Well, all the things we planned to do didn't exactly come to plan, due to the ponies there kind of getting in the way of things" Twilight told me.
"Yeah, I'm not a big fan on Canterlot ponies" I replied.
"I'm from Canterlot" Twilight told me.

Uh-oh, that was awkward, I didn't know she was from Canterlot, Silver was standing beside me desperately trying not to let out a laugh,

"Oh, I..um...didn't mean to say that, you're not like the other ones" I tried to apologize.
"It's OK, Snips, I know who you mean, yeah, a lot of them are snobby and unlikable" Twilight reassured.

Silver Spoon couldn't hold it in, she just let out a laugh, her laugh sounded sexy, and I guess it was pretty funny, so I had a chuckle as well, as did Twilight,

"OK then, you guys want to come in and hand in your books? I need to stamp them off" Twilight told us.
"Sure" Silver Spoon replied.

RUMBLE. Oh shit, thunder, fucking brilliant. I hate rainy summer days, I don't know why but I just do,

"Oh my, I guess you better come in now" Twilight said.
"Yeah, we might as well" Silver Spoon replied.

The two of us went inside Twilight's tree home and library, we both lined up at her desk to hand the books in, I was first in line, but I feel it's fair that I let Silver Spoon go in-front of me,

"Silver Spoon, do you want to go in-front of me?" I asked her.
"That's nice of you, Snips, thanks" She replied.

I moved out the way for her as she went ahead of me and spoke to Twilight,

"You're handing in Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb, right?" Twilight asked.
Silver Spoon nodded, "Yep, I'd also like to take another book out please?"
"Of course" Twilight smiled as she took the Daring Do book from her.

Silver Spoon went away to the shelves to check for another book.
The library has changed since the last time I saw it, Twilight had brought in multiple desks and chairs for other ponies to come in and study, and due to the large abundance of books Twilight gets, she's has had to use her basement as an extra part of the library. As I went up to the front of the line and while Silver Spoon was searching through the books, Twilight asked me,

"You like her, don't you?"
"Em...maybe" I replied.
"You do, I can tell" She explained, "I also know you two don't date, but I can see desperately that you want to ask her"
"How do yo..."
"I just know" She interrupted.
"Yeah, I like her, but I'm not sure if I should ask her or not" I told her.
"Look, Snips. If you don't want to embarrass yourself on this floor, you can go down to the basement with her and make.."
"Love, in the basement?" I got the wrong idea.
"No, hell no, I meant make your move down there, you'll be alone with her, but I don't want to come there and find a white mess" Twilight explained.
"Oh right, I thought you meant I should have, you know what, with her" I said.
"Sex? You can just say that" Twilight replied.
"Yeah, sex" I mentioned.
"OK, I'll tell her there is more books in the basement, you can make your move from there, and really, you two would make a good couple" Twilight told me.
"Not you too" I sighed.
"Pardon me?" She asked.
"Snails said the exact same thing" I explained to her.

Twilight laughed,

"Ha, well pass me your book and I'll tell her there's more books in the basement if she wants to check them out and you can make your move from there" She told me.
"Twilight. Thanks" I said to her.
"Yeah, this will make a hell of a friendship letter to Celestia" She jokingly said.
"Ha, you could say that" I replied.

I levitated the book on the Grand Galloping Gala over to her and she called out for Silver Spoon,

"Silver Spoon!"
"Yeah?!" She loudly replied.
"If you can't find any books over there, then you can go to the basement and find some more!" Twilight told her.
"OK, thanks!" Silver Spoon replied.
"Yeah, speaking of which, Twilight, I might look for a book down there as well" I winked.
"Good luck" She whispered.





Me and Silver Spoon were now in the basement, she was still searching for a book and I was pretending I was searching for one, I really should make my move now, or I'm pretty much a pussy for not doing it,

"So, Silver Spoon, what kind of book are you looking for?" I asked.
"Anything, really. Action, Adventure, Thriller, Horror..." She replied.
"Cool" I spoke.
"...Romance" She went on.

We both paused after she said that, she looked into my eyes and let off a smile, a beautiful, sexy smile. And I looked at her shyly and placed my front left hoof on the back of my mane,

"Em..listen, I have been...uh....thinking about you, the past...em...few years, and I have always...em...sort of liked you" I stuttered.
"I like you too" She replied.

Holy shit, my prayers have been answered. Thank fuck, now's my chance,

"So" I paused, "I'm getting two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala and I was wondering if yo.."
"Yes" Silver Spoon interrupted.
"Pardon me?" This is too good to be true.
"Yes, I would love to go to the Gala with you" Silver Spoon smiled.

YES! FUCK YES! I fucking did it. God, I have to calm down,

"Do you want to go somewhere else just now" I flirtatiously asked her.
"No, I'm fine right here" She replied as she came closer to me.

Oh my god, this is actually happening. This might be the best moment in my shit life, besides almost fucking Sweetie Belle. Silver Spoon came closer and closed her eyes, I instantly closed my eyes and soon I felt something warm touch my lips, it was Silver Spoon's lips locking on to mine, but what made me open my eyes, was the douchebag dragon opening the door at the wrong time, Spike saw me and Silver Spoon making out, I tried backing away so he didn't have to see, but she held me closer, which was pretty much a way of saying "Let him look". Spike sighed and said,

"Oh get a fucking room, man"

I levitated a book over to Spike and smacked him in the face with it and closed the door on him, if I had fingers I'd totally flip him the bird.
Me and Silver Spoon stopped kissing then made our way upstairs, she got herself another book as well, she gave it to Twilight and she told her when the book had to be returned, once we opened the front door, it was pissing down with rain, and me and Silver had to walk through it.





Me and Silver had just made it outside her house, it was still raining heavily, Silver Spoon came closer to me and said,

"Thanks for the pencil"
"You're very welcome" I replied.

She came over to me, and gave me a little kiss on the cheek goodbye,

"I'll probably speak to you later" I said to her.
"I'll speak to you later" She smiled.

She left me and went into her house, and this was possible the greatest day of my life, wait till Snails hears about this. I still stood in the rain, and trotted off home with a smile in my face.
> Chapter 4: Me and Snails: High and Wise
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You're one lucky son of a bitch, Snips" Snails said as he lit the bong again.
"Ha, I guess you were right about the "alone" thing" I replied.

Snails raised the bowl using his magic, and inhaled the smoke from the mouthpiece,

"Well, I'm right about most things" Snails said as he let out a large puff of smoke into his gran's basement.
"Yeah, buddy, you keep thinking that" I sarcastically replied.
"But seriously, she said yes before you could finish the sentence?" He asked me.
"Yeah, that's what I told you" I replied.
"Huh, you know what this means. don't you?" He smirked and asked.
"Don't you dare say she wants to fuck me" I replied, "She just wants to go on a date, nothing more"
"I wasn't going to say she wants to fuck you..." Snails explained.
"Good" I said.
"I was going to say she wants to make a pubic salad with some of your own dressing" He sniggered.
"I worry for you sometimes" I told him.
"I don't" He replied.
"Yeah, because you don't have a care in the world" I said.
"I have some" Snails told me.
"Like what?" I asked with curiosity.
"Weed, girls and.."
"Let me guess, sex" I interrupted him.
"Bingo" He replied, "You want the bong?"
"No thanks, man" I said, "I would like a joint though, please"
"Coming right up" He told me.

He levitated the large box that was beside the couch we were sitting in, in the basement, his Grandparents don't mind me and him smoking down here, mainly because his one hundred year old grandfather is a dealer, you can never tell who dealers are going to be these days. Snails opened the box and searched through it,

"Let's see, Vanilla Kush, White Rhino, Skunk, Pineapple Express..." He listed as he searched through.
"You got any Warlock?" I asked him.
"No, Gramps doesn't get that often anymore" He explained, "But I've got Super Lemon Haze"
"That's fine, let's roll up, man" I told him.
"Sure thing, dude" He replied.

Snails got the filter and placed it along with the weed in the joint paper, he rolled it up and licked the edge to make it stick, he then levitated the joint to me,

"Here, Snips, you can have to the first smoke, in celebration of your date" Snails offered.
"Thanks, bud" I said to him as I took the joint from him.

I placed the joint in my mouth and then levitated the lighter over to me, I lit the joint and had the first puff of the Super Lemon Haze, it was amazing,

"But listen, Snips" Snails said.
"What is it, man?" I asked.
"Maybe Silver Spoon wants you to have, you know what, with her" He replied.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, I just told you she didn't" I told him angrily.
"Hear me out, she likes you, there's no question about that, she made out with you in a public library, grant it the both of you were in the basement bit" He explained.
"What are you getting at, man?" I asked him.
"She's down to fuck, man, can you not see it?" He replied.

OK, Snails isn't the sharpest knife in the cupboard, neither am I, for that matter, but here he is making some pretty good points, the kiss, the way she set it up by discussing book genres, and the way she's been speaking to me, she might actually want me,

"Wait, is she a slut?" I asked.
"Probably not, but Diamond Tiara is, Silver is just trying to be like her friend, and did you hear about who DT done?" He asked.
"No, I didn't" I replied.
"Oh yeah, you were on vacation. But take a guess who she did it to" Snails told me.
"I don't know, who?" I asked.
"Pip" He replied.

No fucking way could I ever imagine that Diamond Tiara would have sex with Pipsqueak, the wimpy Trottingham boy, no disrespect for the dude, but holy shit, Pip's now a badass,

"No. Way" I was stunned.
"Yeah, while you away for three weeks, there was a party going on, Diamond Tiara and Pip had their seven minutes and went dating for two weeks after that" Snails explained.
"And what happened during those two weeks?" I asked.
"Two hoofjobs, three blowjobs and five times they've had sex" He replied.
"Wow" I uttered.
"After Pip went back to Trottingham to have the joint custody thing with his mom, they had to break-up" Snails said.
"You want the joint?" I asked Snails and changed the subject.
"Yeah, thanks" He replied.

I levitated the joint over to him and he took it off me and had a smoke,

"But anyways, I'll get you the tickets I owe you, tomorrow morning" Snails told me.
"You think school will be on tomorrow?" I asked him.
"Doubt it, no one else is this fucking town is qualified for being a teacher and I don't think Cheerilee will come in tomorrow after vomiting" He replied.
"Good point" I said.
"Can I tell you something, Snips?" He asked me.
"Sure thing, man" I replied, "What is it?"
"Well, since I know who you like, it seems only fair, that I tell you who I like" He said.
"I have the feeling this is more than one person" I said back to him.
"How did you know?" He asked.
"It's you" I replied sarcastically.
"Shut up, and let me speak, goddammit" Snails told me.
"Can I at least guess?" I asked.
"Fucking fine" Snails sighed.
"Is it all four of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" I asked curiously.
"There's a fourth one?" He questioned.
"Yeah, Applebloom's cousin, Babs, from Manehattan" I explained.
"Really?" He asked.

I took the joint from him and had another puff of it,

"Yes" I said as I exhaled the smoke.
"Wow" He uttered.
"So considering how you responded to my guess, I take it you like them?" I asked.
"Shit yeah, I'd tap all their flanks" He jokingly replied.
"Funnily enough, I'm the only here who had actually "tapped" one of them" I chuckled.
"Shut the fuck up, Snips, you and Sweetie Belle was just a game" He got angry.
"Still happened" I laughed, "But which in the CMC, would you rank from your favorite to your least favorite?"
"I like Scootaloo the best, because she's the most rebellious of the three" He told me.
"You do like bad-ass chicks though" I told him.
"I do, yeah" Snails nodded.
"Second place?" I asked.
"Sweetie Belle, she's the cutest of the group" He said.
"And the only one I tapped" I showed off.
"Shut up" He said.
"Just because you're jealous" I spoke back.

He opened his mouth, but words didn't come out, he was jealous and couldn't find an excuse to say he wasn't, this just proves that I am better with girls than my friend,

"And finally, Applebloom" He continued the talk about the girls.
"How come she's your least favorite?" I asked him.
"It's the accent that puts me off slightly, she's still nice, nonetheless" He replied.

He got off the couch and stretched and yawned and then asked me,

"I'm getting a drink, you wanting anything?" He asked me.
"Can I get some orange juice if you have any, please?" I replied.
"Sure thing, dude" He said.

He went up the stairs that led to the kitchen, he opened the door and shouted for his Gran,

"Hey, Grammy, can me and Snips get a drink please!?"

I briefly heard a faint voice, I didn't either if it were his Grandpa or Grandma, but they must've told him that he could have a drink because he went through the door and continued to get the drinks, he then came down with milk for himself and OJ for me,

"Here you go, man" He said as he passed my drink over to me.
"Thanks, Snails" I replied to him.

Snails sat back on the couch and took the joint away from me and put in an ashtray on the arm closest to him so we didn't have to hold it and drink at the same time, because we're lazy shits,

"I encountered the douche bag dragon today" I told Snails.
"Spike?" He questioned.

I nodded,

"Screw him, just because he thinks he can get Rarity" Snails said.
"Why do you think the dude hates us?" I asked.
"Because he think's we're a detriment to the town" He replied.
"Well, considering the whole Ursa Minor thing, I can kind of see why" I said.
"Come on, it's not like he hasn't caused any shit before, remember when he turned huge and almost destroyed the entire fucking town?" He asked.
"Yeah, I guess" I replied.
"To be honest, I don't know why he hates us, I guess you just can't like everypony" He explained.
"Yeah, for example, I don't like Twist" I told him.
"I dated her once" Snails said.
"I know, but you only did it for a day and received nothing from it" I replied.
"I know" He said.
"That must've sucked for you, man" I said.
"Yeah, it did" He replied.
"Have you ever thought of asking anypony else out on a date? Like Scootaloo?" I asked him.
"Nah, Scootaloo is nice and all, but me and her would never work" He replied.
"How not?" I asked, "You've got as good as a chance as anypony else"

I gulped down half of my pulpy orange juice awaiting Snails' answer,

"I don't think I have a chance, she's too good for me" He replied.
"Dude, c'mon, that's bullshit, no pony is too good for anypony else" I told him.
"How do you know?" He asked.
"Well, considering that I'm going on a date with the second most popular girl in school, I'd like to think anything is possible" I replied.
"Good point" He said.
"A friend of mine once said to me "Just say what the fuck" I told him.
"Pardon me?" He spoke back.
"What the fuck, it gives you freedom, freedom gives you opportunity, and opportunity gets you what you want" I quoted, "I never really thought those words would work for me, but you told me to go for it, when I was anxious about asking Silver Spoon out, so I'm going to to tell you to say.." I paused to see if he could say it.
"What the fuck" He replied.
"Bingo" I said.

I finished my glass of orange juice and placed it on the floor, Snails gulped down his milk and placed his glass beside mine, now we were slightly bored of talking about girls, so Snails decided to change the subject,

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"
"Somewhere other than here" I replied.
"Where?" Snails asked.
"Manehattan, Baltimare, fuck, I have no idea, somewhere other than here" I replied.
"What job you planning on getting?" He asked.
"If there a job that had me smoking pot all day, then that would be awesome" I jokingly replied, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"
"Still living with my parents" He replied.
"At twenty-three?" I asked.
"Yeah, I don't really see a reason to do stuff, for me, life is boring"
"Maybe because you haven't lived it to the fullest" I told him.
"I guess" He said back.
"Remember, what the fuck" I reminded.
"Ha, I'll keep that in mind" He laughed.
"What's the time?" I asked.

He looked at the clock beside him, I couldn't see it because he was in the way,

"Ten PM" He said.

I had to be home by quarter past ten, I got off the couch and stretched,

"I gotta go, man" I said to Snails.
"Sure thing, dude, see ya tomorrow" He said.

I went upstairs to the ground floor of the house, I approached the door and quietly left for my house.

On the walk to my house, it was almost completely pitch black, I was only guided by the Moon hidden briefly behind the clouds and the lights inside other ponies houses, whilst I was walking, I thought to myself about today, how awesome it's been, I asked out the girl I've had a crush on for ages, me and Snails smoked some weed, which is never a bad thing for me, I smacked Spike's face in with a book, I hope the days from here on in get better and better,

"You're taking out the girl you love to the Grand Galloping Gala" I spoke to myself, "What the fuck"
> Chapter 5: My Experience in the Library with Snips
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Snips had made to Twilight's library/home, since Cheerilee got sick, the weather looked gloomier, ironically contemplating with Cheerilee's condition. It looked like it might be a storm, AGAIN, for the fifth fucking time in three days.
Once the two of us made to Twilight's door, Snips knocked on the door, however, Twilight wasn't the one who answered, instead it was her faithful butler (that's pretty much what he is), Spike, the nice dragon I seem to get along with,

"Hey Silver Spoon" He greeted me with a smile.
"Hey Spike" I smiled back.
"Handing in a book?" He kindly asked.
"Yeah" I replied.
"OK, I'll call Twilight" Spike told me.

Spike then looked at Snips, and the smile he had looking at me instantly dropped into a frown,

"Hey Snips, asshole" Spike said to him.
"Sorry Spike, I can't understand you, maybe because you're talking with a mouth-full of shit" Snips replied to him.

Good comeback Snips. I don't know what Spike has against Snips, but Snips seems to be aware that he doesn't like him, and Snips doesn't seem to like Spike either,

"Speak for yourself" He spoke back to Snips, then turned around to shout for Twilight, "Hey Twilight! Two ponies handing books!"
"Down in a bit, Spike" She loudly replied to him from another room.
"Yeah, just wait out here" Spike turned back to us and told us.

Spike then pointed his finger at Snips, then flicked his finger towards me, and back to Snips, then back to me,

"You two date?" Spike asked the two of us with curiosity.
"N-" Snips tried to say no.
"Maybe" I implied.
"Well, all I can say to you, Silver Spoon, is good luck, he will stress you out" He told me.
"Hey Spike, Rarity has a boyfriend" Snips joked.
"Fuck you, man" Spike angrily replied to him.
"Same to you" Snips spoke back him.

Twilight then came to the door, and was oblivious to Spike and Snips' fight,

"Hey Snips, hey Silver Spoon" Twilight greeted us.
"Hey Twilight" Snips greeted her back.
"Afternoon" I greeted.
"Shouldn't you two to be in School?" Twilight asked us.
"No, Cheerilee got sick, so she cancelled school today" I explained to her.
"Oh, I see" Twilight said, "You guys handing in something or do you want to take something out?"
"I'm handing something in" Snips replied.
"Both, Twilight" I replied to her.
"What are you two handing in?" She asked us.
"I'm handing Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb, I was wondering if I could find another book please?" I replied and asked her.
"Sure thing" She told me, then she turned to Snips and asked him, "What are you handing in, Snips?"
"A book on the Grand Galloping Gala" Snips replied.
"Oh, you two going there together?" She asked the both of us.
"We might be" I implied once more.

Snips might think I didn't notice him look at me with surprise, like he was to convey "what the fuck are you saying?" but I noticed him, and he seemed to like it,

"Well, about a year ago, me and my friends went to the Gala, turns out our expectations were let down" Twilight told us.
"How?" Snips asked.
"Well, all the things we planned to do didn't exactly come to plan, due to the ponies there kind of getting in the way of things" She explained to him.
"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Canterlot ponies" He replied.
"I'm from Canterlot" Twilight uttered.

Oops, that was awkward, hahaha, oh my God, what an idiot, I'm desperately trying not to laugh at his accidental offense, but sooner or later I'm just going to have to let it out,

"Oh, I..um...didn't mean to say that, you're not like the other ones" He awkwardly tried to apologize.
"It's OK, Snips, I know who you mean, yeah, a lot of them are snobby and unlikable" Twilight reassured.

I couldn't hold it in, I just had to laugh, I let it out, I just giggled at Snips' fucking awful attempt at apologizing, at least Twilight was nice about it. Once I started to laugh, around thirty seconds later, Snips then laughed at his bad apology attempt, later, Twilight did as well,

"OK then, you guys want to come in and hand in your books? I need to stamp them off" Twilight informed us.
"Sure" I replied to her.

I then heard a loud rumble in the air, the sign of thunder. I almost feel bad for the Pegasi for not making the weather better, because I haven't seen Rainbow Dash in the clouds recently, what the fuck is she up to? If she were around, the chances of thunder and rain would probably go down,

"Oh my, I guess you better come in now" Twilight told us.
"Yeah, we might as well" I replied.

Me and Snips entered her home/library in a hurry, we lined up at Twilight's desk, Snips was in front of me, but he had something generous in mind,

"Silver Spoon, do you want to go in-front of me?" He kindly asked.
"That's nice of you, Snips, thanks" I replied.

Snips moved out of my way and I went in front of him, and went in front of Twilight's desk,

"You're handing in Daring Do and the Fires of the Ice Tomb, right?" Twilight asked me.
I nodded as I got the book out, "Yep, I'd also like to take another book out please?"
"Of course" She replied and smiled as she took my book away.

I went over to the other shelves to find another book, whilst Snips was handing in his book to Twilight, I searched through the first two shelves I was at, it was romance books, in alphabetical order as well, A Trot to Remember, Jane Mare, all classics, but I'm not really looking for any love stories at the moment, I'm getting into an adventure books and action phase, though I will read a romance here and there.
I heard a sound from one of the shelves behind me, beside the horror books and encyclopedias, I went over there and attempted to look behind it, but out of now where, Spike jumped out and gave me a fright, I got angry at him and quietly shouted,

"What the hell, Spike?"
"Hahaha, oh my gosh, the look on your face" Spike chuckled.
"Wow, no wonder you don't have girlfriend" I said to him.
"Well, you're boyfriend is a danger to the village" He told me.
"He's not my boyfriend, nor a danger, coming from the reptile who grew sixty feet tall and almost demolished the entire fucking town" I replied to him.
"That was different, he drew an Ursa Minor here along with his friend" He said.
"Yeah, because he thought The Great and Powerful phony, Trixie, would stop it, so in a way, it was more of her fault than his and Snails'" I spoke back to him.
"Look, you're a nice pony, I get along with you, but I'm just saying watch what your boyfriend is doing..."
"He's not my boyfriend" I said.
"But you said he was at the door" Spike replied.
"No, I said maybe" I told him.
"You want to go out with him?" Spike asked.
"I guess I wouldn't mind dating him" I said to Spike as I looked at Snips who was still speaking to Twilight about something.
"It's your choice, it's not necessarily one I agree with, but whatever works for you, then it for you y'know" Spike told me.
"Yeah" I said as I turned to look at Spike.

Me and Spike continued to talk to each other about random shit until Twilight shouted out for me,

"Silver Spoon!"
"Yeah?!" I loudly replied.
"If you can't find any books over there, then you can go to the basement and find some more!" She loudly told me from her desk.
"OK, thanks!" I shouted.
"Huh, speak of the Devil, you can have your way in the basement" Spike said to me.
"Ha, we'll see, Spike" I said to him in a more quieter voice.





I'm in a slightly dark basement, with Snips, the entire was infested with plenty of books, which makes me beg the question on how much she spent on this. Some of the books down here weren't even that great, Battlefield Equestria is here, and that's an awful book.
I was searching for something for a book a bit less shit, maybe if I can find the rare Daring Do prequel, that would make my day, Snips was searching for something else, I'm not really sure what he is looking for, he did mention to me coming down here that if he saw something he liked he would get it, but if he didn't see anything, he just wouldn't bother.
Should I ask him, or should I wait for him to ask me, because it's blatantly obvious that he likes,

"So, Silver Spoon, what kind of book are you looking for?" He asked me.
"Anything, really. Action, Adventure, Thriller, Horror..." I listed.
"Cool" He interrupted me, thinking I finished.
"...Romance" I went on.

After I said that, the both of us went silent, but the silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but more of a gentle silence, and I just happened to say "romance" at the right time. We both looked into each other's eyes, I let out a smile, he blushed and placed his left hoof at the back of his mane, I can tell he is desperately trying to find the words,

"Em..listen, I have been...uh....thinking about you, the past...em...few years, and I have always...em...sort of liked you"

Aww, he's stuttering while saying he likes me, how cute, to be honest, I like him as well, he's an nice guy,

"I like you too" I softly said.
"So" He paused.

Come on, Snips, you can say it, just let it out,

"I'm getting two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala and I was wondering if yo.."
"Yes" I interrupted him.
"Pardon me?" His eyes widened in shock.
"Yes, I would love to go to the Gala with you" I replied and smiled at him.

At this point, Snips now feels extremely confident in himself, to the point where he flirtatiously asks me,

"Do you want to go somewhere else just now?"

I do the flirting, Snips, but that a good attempt nonetheless,

"No, I'm fine right here" I said as I came closer towards him.

As I came closer, I closed my eyes, and he closed his shortly after, I came closer and let my lips touch his, and all I'm thinking to myself is, "No turning back now", and it was worth it, he is a really good kisser. But something happened that made him go quite tense, Spike out of nowhere, opens the door and makes Snips to back back away in embarrassment, but I pulled him back towards me and held him closer, which Spike sighed and said,

"Oh get a fucking room, man"

OK, Spike. What the Hell, man? You knew I was going to be down here with Snips. This is highly hypocritical of him, because he must've possible knew what me and Snips would possibly be doing down here, so he has no right to say that. Or maybe he was saying it to Snips, just due to the fact that those two really don't get along, at all. But either way, those six words made me really pissed off at Spike. In order for Spike to stop looking at us, Snips levitated a book over to Spike, and smacked his face with it and slammed the door in his face, and serves Spike right as well.
Me and Snips ended our kiss and randomly picked another book, me and Snips made it upstairs, and I gave Twilight the book and she told me when to give it back, after that me and Snips opened the door to see it was pouring down with rain, just my luck.





Snips and I have both made to the outside of my home, most of my body was soaking wet, but Snips was kind enough to put his arm around me the entire time, so my back is dry, I snuggled closer to him and said,

"Thanks for the pencil"
"You're very welcome" He replied.

I turned and gave him a little kiss on the cheek for goodbye, I then went away from him and made it towards my house,

"I'll probably speak to you later" He said to me.
"I'll speak to you later" I said as I turned my head slightly to the left while still walking towards my house.

I went into my house and when I closed the door I leaned against it and looked up at my hall way ceiling, I let out a little giggle, but at the same time, while I was giggling happily, I thought about what Diamond Tiara would say about this, I guess I'll just have to find out later.
> Chapter 6: Me, My Best Friend and her Pimpsqueak
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around 9:00pm, I was at Diamond Tiara's house, in her bedroom telling her about the library experience I had experience, let's just say she wasn't to impressed with me,

"Ha, anypony with their right mind would reject him, he's such a loser!" She proclaimed.
"Give me a chance, please" I pleaded.
"Why do you want to go to the Gala, with Snips, of all ponies in our class?" Diamond asked me.
"Why not? Besides, there's hardly any dudes in our class. We have Snips, Snails, Featherweight, Button and that chubby little grey dude whose name I can't remember.."
"You mean Truffles?" Diamond asked.
"Yeah him, and it would've been six colts if Pip never left back to Trottingham for his joint custody thing with his Mom" I explained to her.

Diamond looked away from me for about thirty seconds, she sighed and then whispered to herself,

"I miss him"
"What was that!?" I chuckled and asked.
"I miss Pip" She spoke louder.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah" She replied, "I miss him"
"You, of all ponies, actually genuinely miss somepony?"
"Yeah, I do, besides you going away somewhere or any of my relatives. I miss Pip" She replied.
"I thought you and him was just a phase?" I asked.
"No, I only wanted ponies to think that, so it wouldn't ruin my rep, it broke my heart to say that we couldn't really maintain our relationship due to us being too far apart" Diamond explained.

At this point DT started to cry, this meant she was actually serious about her and Pip. Also the crying was something I rarely see of Diamond, because as of now, I've only seen Diamond cry four times, once at a Hearth's Warming Eve party (but the less said about that incident the better), another time at the movies when we saw a sad film called "Unapologetic", but to be fair, I cried at that movie as well, she also broke down in tears after her Mom left her and her Dad, and now this, it was strange, seeing my best friend in pieces over Pip, who has pretty much slept with most fillies in my class, all except Twist, Applebloom and me, Hell, there's even a rumor that he's slept with Princess Luna, but I call bullshit on that one,

"Really, you actually like him?" I asked, still shocked.
"I love him" She told me.
"Wow, though you did say he was different" I replied, "Why is that?"
"He saw the good side in me..."
"Wait, the non-almost-psychopathic DT? Hell, I hardly know that side of you" I jokingly interrupted.

I meant it as a joke, but she just looked at me in disgust and shook her head, maybe I did take it a little too far,

"Sorry, Diamond" I apologized, "Please continue"
"As I was saying, Pip saw the good side in me, he was fully aware that I was a bitch to others, but when I was dating him, he made feel calm, and I never slipped into a manic depression, whenever I was with him, I always felt happy" She continued.
"And then there was the hoofjobs and blowjobs" I spoke out.
"How did you find that out?" She asked in a very shocked way.
"Everypony knows, when you were absent from school, they started saying shit like 'Diamond Tiara has a Pimpsqueak' and other stuff" I replied.
"Pimpsqueak? Wow, that's actually pretty smart" She chuckled, not crying anymore, but had tears still lying on her cheeks.
"So, did you two actually have sex?" I asked her.
"It wasn't sex, Silver, it was love" She replied.

At this point I wanted to laugh so much, it was possible the most cheesy thing Dee (my other nickname for Diamond Tiara) has ever said to me, so I sarcastically asked her,

"Like there is a difference?"
"There is, actually, Miss Fucking Sarcastic" She replied, "Sex is casual, love is a bond"
"And sex is a bonding between dicks and pussies" I replied, though regretting I even said that.
"Oh my God, who are you tonight?" She asked me.
"Sorry, Dee, it was just a horrible joke, sorry, I'm just annoyed at something" I replied.
"Why is that, Silver Spoon?" She asked curiously.
"The fact that you're making fun of me for going out on a date with Snips" I replied.
"Sorry, SIlver" She apologized.
"I'm sorry for making fun of you and Pip" I apologized as well.
"Don't mention it" Dee said.
"Do you really think me and Snips are a good match?" I asked her.
"Whatever bursts your bubble, or in your case, whatever pops your cherry" She replied.
"So you don't have an opinion?" I asked again, desperately ignoring her virgin reference.
"Well, I don't necessarily like Snips, but if you want to go to the Gala with him, go right ahead, I'm not going to stop you" She replied.
"Seems fair" I said.
"I noticed you didn't annoyed at the 'Pop your cherry' thing?" She got curious.
"It's like you're deliberately trying to annoy me" I said.
"Well, you are a virgin, right?" She asked me.

OK, this is the single most creepiest conversation I've ever had with my best friend, and I can see why she's asking me these questions, because she's still annoyed at for making fun of her and Pip, but that was because she made fun of me going on a date with Snips. And the funny thing is, it's true, I am a virgin, I have never broken code S, and everypony, besides Dee, thinks that I get laid on a regular basis, when the fact of the matter is, I've never been laid at all,

"Well, are you?" She asked again.
"Why the hell are you asking me this?" I asked her.
"So I can tell if my friend is a liar or not" Dee replied.
"You want the truth?" I asked her.

Diamond Tiara nodded,

"The truth is, I haven't had sex with anypony. Sure, I've messed about with a couple of dudes. But unlike you, Dee, I haven't made my pussy as wide as the fucking Equestrian Sea" I told her.
"Well, at least I know you're honest" She replied.
"Mhm" I hummed.
"Hey, look, if it makes you feel any better, I've only actually slept with three guys, the other ponies in class have each slept with more ponies than me" Diamond said.
"Ha, I can tell that's a lie" I chuckled.
"No, I'm serious" She replied and laughed.

From that point on, there was just an outburst of giggles from both me and Diamond, we didn't know why we were laughing, but we continued to laugh for about a minute and a half,

"Listen, Silver, sorry for making fun of you" She apologized, "To make it up to you, I'll buy you a coffee from Mocha la Coca, it's on me"
"Thanks, Dee, and I'm sorry too" I replied and apologized as well, "You got the time?"
"Yeah, um..whilst we were laughing I checked and it said it was close to 9:20" She told me.
"Oh shit. 9:20? I have to go, Dee. Sorry" I just realised.

I got off my ass and made my way towards Dee's door, but before I could exit, she stopped me,

"Why you got to leave so early?" She asked me.
"Oh, I have to do that homework that I didn't complete, just in-case school is on tomorrow" I told her.
"Oh right, can I get a friends hug goodbye first?" She asked.
"Fine" I sighed.

I backed away from the door and came towards Diamond Tiara and gave her our usual BFF hug,

"That's right, hug it in" I said.
"Yeah" She said as she let go of the hug, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Sure thing" I replied.

I then exited her room and went down the stairs, where Dee's dad, Filthy Rich, said bye and I said bye as well. I then left Diamond's house and walked out onto the dark sidewalk,

"Let the hellish walk begin" I thought to myself.
> Chapter 7: Snips' Day Off
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a nice morning once again, and I just like on every other school day, except yesterday, I would go and knock on Snails' door. I'm not sure if school will be open this morning due to Cheerilee's illness, but still, it wouldn't hurt to check.
I heard hoofsteps come from inside Snails' home, and the door opened, it was Snails',

"Yo, man" He greeted me.
"Hey, Snails" I greeted back, "You ready to go to school?"
"It's probably closed for today, Snips" He replied.
"Yeah, let's just check anyways, if we don't go and she's actually there, then we could get into trouble" I told my friend.
"Good point, Snips" He agreed, "Yeah, let's head over"

He stepped outside his door and shouted out to his parents,

"MOM! DAD! I'm leaving for school!"
"I thought you said it wasn't on today!" His dad shouted from another room.
"It might not be though!" He loudly replied.
"Well, either it isn't on, or it is! So make up your mind!"

Snips looked at me with an expression that said, "This is what I have to put up with everyday",

"For fucks sake" Snails muttered under his breath, but I only I could hear his mutter, "I don't know if it is on or off, Cheerilee was sick yesterday and..."
"What? They can't find a substitute? Is nopony else in this town qualified?" His dad loudly asked.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Snails asked back.

I still stood outside observing everything that they were saying and I was thinking to myself, "This is embarrassing". So whilst I was listening to a very brilliant (I use that term loosely) father-son conversation between Snips and his dad. So I backed away slightly and said,

"Gee, well I guess I better leave for school" I over emphasized in a nonchalant tone, "I surely wouldn't want to get on Cheerilee's bad side, after she's been sick!"
"But I never let the cat into the fridge, dad..." He stopped as soon as I said my latter sentence.
"We better get going now, pal" I told Snails in my ordinary tone of voice.
"Alright, man" He agreed, "Oh wait I forgot something"

Snails went back into his house, and closed the door behind him. About thirty seconds later, he came back out, levitated a small brown pouch,

"What's in the bag?" I asked.
"This here, man" He said as he raised the puch, "Is your money for the Gala tickets"
"Oh man, thanks, Snails" I said.
"Not a problem, man" He replied and he handed me the cash, "I did owe you, and now we're even, no need for thanks, Snippy"

We left Snails' porch and made our way to school, and I was slightly aggravated by Snails calling me Snippy, which is the nickname my gran gives me, much to Snails ignorance,

"Don't ever call me Snippy ever again" I told him.
"Oh yeah, man. The fuck you gonna do about it?" He chuckled.
"Do you remember those magazines you got from Truffles?" I asked him calmly.
"The porno mags" Snails replied, "What about them?"
"Oh nothing, man. It's just, it would be a shame for your pops to know you have 85% of porn breeds under your bed, you sick bastard" I replied.
"Dude, don't even fucking joke about that, if my dad finds the filth lying under my bed, then in a way, I'm fucked" Snails told me.
"Then don't call me Snippy, I don't like it" I said.
"Fine" He sighed, "You what really pisses me off about that?"
"Pisses you off about what?" I asked back.
"It's the fact that my dad isn't against me smoking pot in the house, and he is fully aware that my gramps, or should I say my mom's dad, is a drug dealer. But porn, oh no, he'd rather have his son smoke instead of reading what most colts in class are reading at the moment" Snails explained, making a good point.
"Yeah, but I don't like the shit that you like, I mean, you fucking like that Hentai shit" I explained.
"Yeah, but plenty of dudes like Hentai" Snails replied.
"I know, sorry about disregarding your tastes, but I'm just wanting to make a point" I told him, "I don't know how you're able to get attracted to the Hentai and Ecchi stuff, because well, they don't exist and hell, you aren't even a fan of Manga, so that your liking for the genre even weirder than it actually is"
"It's just that they're drawn really well" Snails explained.

I shook my head and thought of a different topic to go on about. Though it has to be a topic that will keep Snails' attention span in check for a few minutes,

"So....em....where did you get the money?" I asked.
"Stole it" Snails uttered.
"From where?" I asked with concern.
"From my grandad's stash last night" He replied.
I sighed in relief, "Phew, I thought you mugged a guy"
Snails chuckled, "What makes you think I did that?"
"I don't know" I replied sarcastically, "Maybe because you actually used to do shit like that"
"Well, don't act all fucking innocent around me" He told me, "You have a criminal record as well"

I should watch what I say, because even though Snails thinks he's as pretty as sin (in order get girls) and is also as dumb as cheese, he is good at remembering mostly important things, and in this case, my criminal record. Now both me and Snails have records, ultimately, his record is larger than mine, I've only been arrested for possession and assault, and even the assault wasn't my fault, it was Snails' fault. Snails, as I said, has the greater criminal record; multiple accounts of assault, possession, theft, and finally, breaking and entering. So I decided make a comeback to his comment,

"Well, I've been arrested for two things whilst you've been arrested for much, much more" I said, "And also, when I was arrested for assault, I never even did anything, it was all you"
"You know what's funny, Snips?" Snails asked me.
"What?" I replied.
"I'm surprised that almost nopony at school are labeled sex offenders" Snails told me.

That's a good point actually, seeing as almost everypony in class have broken the law of underage sex,

"I'm surprised as well" I said, "God, how did it come to all that shit in less than a year"
"We want to try out new stuff" Snails told me, "It's only a matter of time before the girls start getting pregnant"
"Probably with Pip's children, it'll be like a squadron of mini Pipsqueaks" I replied.
"There's a rumor going around that he slept with Princess Luna" Snails mentioned.
"Really?" I questioned, "That's bullshit, there's no way in fuck that he slept with the Princess of the Night. There's no chance"
"Well, apparently, he did" Snails replied.
"Listen, Snails, buddy" I said, "We're both completely aware that Pip has, well, a positive reputation with girls, but he's probably spread the rumor by himself and is showing off about. I mean, come on, do you think for one second that Princess Moonbutt would waste her time to have sex with a wimpy Trottingham kid? She's pretty much breaking one of her own fucking laws that she made herself"
"Maybe....he....um..." Snails struggled to find words, "Yeah, you're right. It's bullshit"
"Ponies are like 'Oh you should totally visit that Ponyville place, it's a nice place to visit" I said while using a mimicking voice, "It's got nice scenery, the civilians are nice, but hey, the teens like P in VG every now and then"
"This is what we've come to, man. We just got to accept that" Snails told me.
"Pfft, guess there's no arguing about it, if it's what everypony does" I replied.
"Damn fucking straight, man" Snails said, "But don't be down about it, man. You still have a fucking chance with Silver Spoon"
"True that" I replied, "I'm still sticking to my philosophy"
"The 'What the Fuck' thing?" Snails asked.
"Yeah" I replied.

We finally made it to the school, the grounds were empty, not a single classmate of ours was in sight. Me and Snails trotted up to the school grounds and turned to each other and said,

"Well, I guess the school's closed and everyone got the message, or nopony bothered to show up today" I said.
"Or maybe, we're late and everypony's inside" Snails added.
"Doubt it, man. We're early" I replied.
"Should we check if the door's unlocked?" Snails asked.
"We could try" I replied.

Me and Snails went over to the door, it was shrouded in shade, because of the Sun's position in the Sky. Once we made it up to the door, I saw what was a piece of paper taped to the door, it was almost unnoticeable until I actually made it to the door, Snails couldn't see what was written, so he asked me,

"What does it say?"
"It says 'Dear Students, I'm unable to teach today as I am not feeling good, so school is cancelled for today - Cheerilee" I replied to Snails.
"Well, shit" He exclaimed.
"What do you want to do now?" I asked.
"Wanna get milkshakes from that Mocha la Coca cafe?" Snails optioned, "I'm buying"
"Well, if you insist on buying, then sure thing, man" I chuckled.
"Let's head off then, pal" Snails said.

We parted off the school grounds and made our way towards the Mocha la Coca which is in town square, something tells me I'm getting a five bit.





Me and Snips were now in Mocha la Coca, I was sitting at the window of the Canterlot style cafe, whilst my best friend was buying our shakes with spare money from the brown pouch. I sat in my seat and thought about yesterday, I never thought I would actually be going out on a date with the girl I've liked since Kindergarten, it's a weird feeling, considering I've never been out with a girl before, it's making my stomach go in knots at the thought, so I guess in a way, I'm nervous about it. But I'm not nervous to the point where I'll pussy out at the last fucking second, I'm not passing this opportunity up, all I have to keep saying in my head is what the fuck. Keep on saying that, and greater things will come my way. And it seems another great thing was coming to me already, in the form of a cold and tasty dairy product topped with whipped cream and a cherry. Snails finally came over with the milkshakes, he had a vanilla one and I had a chocolate one. Once he sat down on the opposite side of me, across the table, I leaned over the table and said to him.

"Next time we come here, we're buying coffee"
"No fucking way, Snips. I can't do that. Because if we do that, then not only will you be in deep shit, but I will be in deep shit" Snails told me, "Your parents don't want you drinking coffee or energy drinks, because of your addiction to caffeine, and since the addiction, you've had Insomnia"
"Maybe just a little?" I pleaded.
"No, man. I don't want to get into shit by your parents, your dad's a scary ass motherfucker, built like a fucking tank and everything" Snails replied, "I can't take the fucking chance, man"
I sighed, "Fine"
"I mean, come on, when's the last time you've actually slept well?"
"I think since two months ago" I replied.
"That's not fucking good" Snails uttered, "Take some fucking medication or some other shit"
I shook my head and shrugged, "I try. But the fucking meds only stops the double vision and slow motion I see, they don't get me to sleep any better"
"That sucks for you, man" Snails said.

I've been suffering from Chronic Insomnia since the beginning of last year, due to me drinking an unsustainable amount of caffeinated drinks, like coffee, energy drinks, all that good stuff. The drinks kept me up at all hours of the night and I started showing signs of being an insomniac, like being extremely tired, seeing things running in slow motion and double vision. The pills I take every night only stop me from looking and feeling like shit in the morning and stops me seeing all the slow motion  and double vision crap,

"It's weird hearing you sound concerned for someone else, man" I mentioned.
"Hey, you're my best buddy" Snails replied, "I don't want any bad shit to happen to you. You're like family to me, man"
"Thanks, Snails" I said.
"No problems, Snips" Snails replied, "Have you tried your shake yet? Mine is great"
"No I ain't tried it" I replied.
"Well, try it then" Snails told me.

I took the cherry off my milkshake and placed it on the side, and I took a big gulp from it and as soon as the chocolate milkshake touched my tastebuds, it was like getting high, a trip to nirvana, in other words, it tastes amazing,

"Phew, that shake's pretty fucking good, man" I said, "How much did it cost ya?"
"Two bits each" Snails replied.
"You're getting your moneys worth then" I told him.
"Shit yeah" Snails chuckled.
"So when abouts are you buying the tickets?" I asked him.
"You have the money" Snails replied.
"I know, but since you said you'd buy the tickets yourself, I'll give you the money and you'll buy them, a'ight?" I told him.
"I think the reason you don't want to do it, is because you're a lazy bastard" Snails said.
"You expect any less of me?" I chuckled.
"I guess not" Snails shrugged, "You might want to give me the money just now"
"Why just now?" I said.
"Because you're wanting  to impress your girlfriend, right?" Snails asked, "You're wanting to impress with the tickets, yes?"
"Yeah, so?" I replied, "I probably won't see her until later on today. We have enough time"
Snails shook his and looked out the window, "No we don't"

I looked out the window to see two young ponies arguing with a much larger stallion. The one of the two young ones seemed to be arguing with the stallion, whilst the other younger pony was standing beside the arguing ones, with her hoof on her forehead, whilst shaking her head. Instantly I recognized who the two young ponies where, the arguing pony was Diamond Tiara and the disappointed pony was her best friend and my date, Silver Spoon. Silver Spoon tried to get Diamond Tiara away the other arguing pony pointed over to here, as if she was wanting to go get a coffee or something,

"Shit! Is she coming here?" I asked Snails.
"I think so" He replied calmly, "You got a plan?"
"Yeah, go out the other door and buy the tickets, if she's comes over to the table to sit beside me, then I'll make an excuse for you, and you come back with the tickets, and sneak them under the table for me to surprise her, got it?" I made sure, "Because I really want to impress her"
"Fucking hell, you think on your hooves, man" Snails said, "Yeah, I'll do it. Look after my shake though, please"
"No problem" I said as Snails left the table and headed towards the door opposite the one we came in, at the other end of the cafe, "Oh, before you head out, man. Stay hidden, make sure they don't see you"
"Dude, there's a massive crowd outside, I'm pretty I'll be able to stay hidden from them" Snails replied.

Snails left out the door and Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara came in. Let just hope my shit plan doesn't fail me, or in a better case, let's hope Snails doesn't fail me.
> Chapter 8: Silver Spoon's Day Off
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a bright and early morning over at my house, Diamond Tiara came here early, and me and her were just chatting casually in the kitchen like we do every morning,

"So, you still wanting to go to Mocha la Coca?" Dee asked me.
"If school's still cancelled" I replied.
"Yeah, that too" Diamond Tiara added.
"You wanting a drink at all, DT?" I asked.
"Nah, thanks, Silver, but I'll skip today" She replied.
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yeah, I don't want anything, Silver Spoon" She told me.
"OK, then" I replied.
"But anyways, when abouts are you going to get your ticket for the Gala?" Diamond Tiara asked me.
"Not sure, I'll need to talk to Snips about it" I replied.
"It's the basic boyfriend way to buy the ticket for his girlfriend" Diamond told me.
"Is that so?" I asked.
Dee nodded, "Yes, and since now you two are now an item, it's only going to be a matter of time before the whole school finds out"
"Yeah, so?" I questioned.
"I'm saying, your popularity could be at stake" Dee explained.
"Screw popularity, you dated Pip and managed to maintain your popularity" I replied.
"Yeah, but unlike Pip, I'm not sure if many ponies actually like Snips" Diamond said.
"It's my choice, I'm going out with Snips, whether you and they like it or not" I told her.

I went over to the fridge and opened it and got out a small bottle of orange juice, I opened it and took a sip, it was pulpy, slightly sour and was very strong with citrus,

"I'm not saying I don't like it or not, I'm just saying be careful" Dee said.
"Be careful?" I asked with a smug smile, "Really? You think Snips is a dangerous individual? Also, didn't we have a talk about something like this yesterday?"
"I can't remember, but yeah, I think Snips is dangerous, because after the Ursa Minor incident, I think a lot of ponies see it that way" Diamond Tiara replied.
"C'mon, the Ursa Minor thing was ages ago, and besides that was more of the so called 'Great and Powerful' Trixie's fault" 
I said, "And besides, Ponyville has suffered from much larger threats, like the fucking snake-lion-dragon-dick guy" I struggled to figure who that was.
"You mean Discord?" Diamond Tiara made it more clear.
"Yeah, him. Also, Nightmare Moon, Spike going on a rampage, Parasprites, it's like Ponyville can't remain pandemic free for a month" I told her.
"But there hasn't been a problem for about two months" Dee replied.
"You get the idea, though" I sighed, "But my point is, don't just see Snips as a detriment whilst there is other detriment, only hate when hate is needed" I told her.
"I never said I hated him" Diamond Tiara told me.
"True, but seeing that it's you, and you hate mostly every pony in Equestria" I said.
"OK, I get your point. Yeah I hate mostly everyone, but I love gatherings, isn't that ironic?" Diamond Tiara said.
I chuckled, "Huh, yeah"

Diamond isn't much of a ponies pony, so to speak. Due to her personality, she has difficulty interacting with other ponies, often letting her pompous personality get the better of her to the point where she gets angry at the pony she's wanting to talk to, or if it's somepony wanting to talk to her, she'll just flat-out insult them. It's a shame really, I'm the only friend she has, and since ponies think I act exactly like her, then that makes me have difficulty interacting with others, because they're expecting a bitch to speak to them. When the actual fact is, I'm better around other ponies than my one and only friend.

I finished the small bottle of orange juice and chucked the bottle away in the trash, I then closed the fridge and the kitchen regained it's warmth, I then asked Dee,

"Should we get going?"
Diamond Tiara nodded, "We might as well"
"If it's still not on, then we're still going to the cafe, right?" I wanted to make sure.

DT nodded,

"Well, let's head out, then" I said.
"After you, Silver" Dee said.

I went ahead of her and opened the door, I stepped outside and waited for Dee, who followed after,

"Bye Dad, I'm off to school!" I shouted to my Dad, who was inside the house.
"OK, sweetie. You have yourself a nice day!" My Dad loudly replied from another room.

I closed the door behind me and me and Dee walked on to the school, and Dee asked me,

"How's your Dad holding up?"
"He's been fine, he's still searching for a job since after he to leave the guard. He's thinking about settling for a quiet desk job at the Quills and Sofas store" I explained to her.

My Dad was told two months ago that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, and he works for the Royal Guard, well, did work for the Royal Guard. But now he can't hold up a weapon while also being able to stay still, something that the Guard have to be naturals at. He would take the train to Canterlot, and stand at the Palace doors, do his duty, and come home, but now he can't, because of the fucking Parkinson's Disease. He's been struggling to find a job, but it look's like he's finally found a place to work, "Davenport's Quills and Sofas".

Me and Silver made it up to the school, since I live very close to it. Once me and Dee made it there, we saw a crowd of ponies at the front door. Me and Diamond Tiara became curious and we, or let's say, I, got into character, as Diamond is pretty much being herself. She was leading me on into the crowd, and she said to them,

"Get out of our way, losers!"

As much as I want to facehoof just now in disappointment, I can't. Because I can't break character, or else Dee will have something bad to say, I looked around in the crowd and I couldn't see Snips anywhere, either he was late, came here early and left already, or he just couldn't be fucked to come around. But anyways, it was Noi and Dinky at the very front of the door and on the door was a note,

"Noi! What does the note say?" Button Mash called out.
"It says that Cheerilee isn't coming in today as she is still sick, so school is cancelled" Noi called out to everyone.

Damn, guess they couldn't find a substitute teacher in town to replace her today. It's a good thing no one brought their saddle pack in today. Once Noi announced the note's message, everypony scurried away, either they were going to do their own plans they planned for today, or think of a plan because they didn't know the teacher would be off. Either way, the crowd disappeared until me and Dee were the only ones left on the school grounds,

"Should we head off to Mocha?" I asked.
"Not yet, we need to head down to the market first, I'm hungry for an apple" Dee told me.
I sighed in annoyance "Fucking hell, Diamond, you could've had a fucking apple at my house"
"I wasn't hungry then, jeez, give me a fucking break" Diamond replied.
"Fine, sorry" I apologized, "We're not in any rush anyways"
"Fucking thought so" She muttered.

I shook my head as we both headed towards the market's direction, which I guess isn't a bad thing seeing as the market is pretty much right next to the Cafe and other shops, so I guess Dee buying an apple won't be bad at all.





OK, so Dee has finally eaten her apple and now we were finally heading to Mocha la Coca. We passed by multiple stands, mostly fruit and vegetable ones. We were just about to make it to the cafe, until the most idiotic pony got Diamond's attention, this big, grey stallion, hosting a small gaming stand,

"You there, young lady!" He pointed to Dee.
"Yes?" Diamond questioned.
"Would you like to partake in this game?" The bulky stallion asked, "Simply throw the ball at all of the three coconuts, if you knock all three down, you win!"
"No thank you" Diamond Tiara said as she walked on, with me alongside her.
"You win twenty bits per coconut" He told her.

Instantly as she heard twenty bits per coconut, she turned 180 degrees to face the other direction,

"Money is involved? Well why didn't you just say so?" Diamond asked as she approached the stand.

I nudged her,

"Dee, you do realize this guy is conning you, the coconuts are glued to their stands" I whispered.
"Yeah, I know, but I have a trick, just watch" She quietly replied.

She went over the grey stallion and asked for a ball, she was handed a small blue ball about the size of a tennis ball, though it looked heavier than a tennis ball due to the way she was holding it, she got ready to throw, and aimed steady at the left stand and threw the ball at the coconut, the stand toppled over to the right, knocking over the middle stand and then knocking over the right stand, which had all the coconut's ending up smashed on the ground, much to the grey stallion's surprise, his mouth was gaping open,

"Can I have my sixty bits please?" Diamond asked.
"Em.....I wasn't actually expecting you to do that" He said.
"I don't care, I want my money" Dee said.
"I don't actually have sixty bits on me" He told her.

Diamond's face went red in anger and looked like she was going to explode,

"What do you mean you don't have it......"





"GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY!" Diamond screamed.
"I....I'm sorry, bu...but I don't have it" The grey stallion told her.
"Do you know who my dad is? He is Filthy Rich, one of the wealthiest ponies in Equestria, if you don't pay me, then I'll make he sues you for everything you've got...." She continued.

This could go on for a while. I had my hoof against my forehead and I was shaking my head in disappointment as multiple ponies passed by us. I could only feel embarrassment for the conpony, being talked down by a very angry thirteen year old. But really, why con out a kid? It's stupid to say you have a certain amount of money you're willing to pay if somepony wins your game. But why of all ponies he happened to randomly pick, it had to be Dee, the most unstable pony I know, and we're only fifteen strides away from Mocha la fucking Coca, I just want a fucking cup of coffee,

"Oh for fuck sake" I exclaimed at the stallion, "Just give her the money"
"I told you already, I don't have it" he said.

At this point I just gave up and let my angry best friend do the talking,

Dee seethed and gritted her teeth, "Listen, mister, I'll be back in an hour, I'm getting a coffee, once I come back, you better still be here and with sixty bits, if I do come back back, and you're not here or with the money, I swear to Celestia, I will make sure you get arrested" Diamond threatened.
The stallion swallowed a phlegm in his throat, "Yes, of course"

I've had enough of this ludicrous bullshit, I nudged Dee to get her attention and she turned to look at me,

"Look, Diamond, the cafe is right there" I told her with a tiring tone in my voice as I pointed to the cafe, "Can we just there and get a fucking drink? We can deal with this asshole later"
"Fine" She told me.

We finally made our way to the cafe, and were going to get a cup of coffee, which I hope will be a good a thing that comes out of this somewhat shit way to start the day off.
> Chapter 9: A Plan in Commission
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara went over to the counter to buy their coffee as Snails went out to buy the tickets for me. I'm hoping my plan comes together. Fuck, I could've planned this out a different way, I could've went out and buy the tickets myself whilst Snails would cover for me. Fucking hell, I'm such an idiot. I looked over to see that Silver and Diamond Tiara were ordering coffee at the counter, so I've thought to myself of another plan, what I'm going to do is that I'm going to rest myself against my hoof and close my eyes, as if I would be dosing off, then if Silver sees me, I think she would come to me, greet me, I'll act surprised to see her, I'll offer her to sit with me, Snails will come in, sneak the tickets under the table, I'll surprise Silver with the tickets and it will all end happily.

Snails better not fail me, I may seem like a douchebag and a nonce for saying that, but he better not. There's plenty of times in which I've done something for him, but I get nothing for it and he doesn't do anything for me in return. It's annoying as all hell, but at least he's helping me with this date, and I'm hoping he can do this certain task for me.

I rested my head against my hoof, and closed my eyes and awaited for Silver. With my eyes closed, I obviously didn't see anything, and I was left to my own thoughts. What's going to come of my shitty reputation at School, now that me and Silver are technically an item now? How is everypony going to react to it? Will they consider me a saving grace and maybe think I can show them that the bullies aren't as bad as they seem (well, one of the bullies at least), or will they just consider me an accident waiting to happen? Hell, I don't fucking know. We'll wait and we'll see, friends.

Shit, I still don't know if we can be considered a couple yet. As I've only asked to go to the Gala with me, which is nine days away. Just what do I do during that time with her, that is if I do have time, or if she has time,

"Excuse me, Snips?" An extremely familiar female voice called out.

OK, Time to get into character, it's obviously Silver Spoon, it's her attractive voice. I slowly opened my eyes, pretending that I was actually sleeping, and I opened my eyes to the sight of a beautiful young mare with a grey coat, dark purple eyes and sexy glasses, it's Silver Spoon, much to my expectations,

"Oh my God, Silver!" I pretended to be surprised, "How are you?"
"I'm great, Snips" She replied with a smile, "What about yourself?"
"I'm feeling good, now you're here" I said.

Shit. Was that overshooting it? Saying that? Oh God, that's embarrassing,

"Oh, you!" She chuckled.

Oh, I guess it wasn't that bad then. Phew, that could've ended creepily,

"Em...uh...do you and....uh..." I struggled to say as I turned my head slowly to see Diamond Tiara leaning against the counter , whilst still looking at me with a pissed off expression, "...Diamond Tiara want sit with me and Snails over here?"

Silver looked over at her friend and Diamond Tiara lightly shook her head, but Silver had another decision in mind,

"Yeah, we'd love to" Silver said.
"Eh-hem, Silver Spoon" Diamond Tiara tried to get her attention.
"What is it?" Silver asked.
"What about our coffee?" Diamond asked.
"I'll get it once it's ready, alright?" Silver replied.
"Fine" Diamond shrugged.

Silver looked at her friend as Diamond turned around and waited for her coffee. I scooted over and left space for Silver Spoon in the booth, and she sat beside me,

"Did you get the news that the School is shut as well?" I asked her.
"Yeah, I did. I didn't see you at the School though" Silver replied.
"Oh, me and Snails got there early, we saw the note on the door and just took the longer way to here" I told her.
"Where is Snails anyways?" She questioned.
"Oh, he's in the restroom" I lied, knowing he's probably buying me and Silver's tickets right now.
"OK, did you tell him about um...." She started to say.
"Yesterday?" I asked.
Silver nodded, "Yeah, did you tell Snails about it? I won't get mad if you say you did" She told me.
"To be honest, yeah, I did. How come you're not mad about it?" I asked.
"Word will get around about it eventually, mostly from Spike, considering the fact you two don't like each other" Silver replied.

Let me think about this for a second, Spike and Twilight know about the library thing, there's no doubting about that, Spike is the one who would probably spread the word to his friends, with the more important ones being Applejack and Rarity, then they might either mention around or to their sisters, then they'll spread the word to Scootaloo, then all three will spread it to the other students in the school. So yeah, by tomorrow, everyone's going to assume me and Silver are an item,

"Huh, I guess you're right" I chuckled with contempt.
"I told Dee as well, part of it, sorry" Silver apologized.
"Dee?" I questioned as I took a sip of my milkshake.
"Oh, I mean Diamond Tiara, it's a nickname I give her" She replied.

At this point, Diamond Tiara came over to the table with both hers and Silver's coffee, she then sat in the same booth Snails was sitting in,

"So is that other milkshake yours as well, Snips?" Diamond Tiara asked me, referencing Snails' lone milkshake.
"No, it's Snails'" I replied.
"Where is he anyways?" Diamond Tiara asked.
"Restroom" I replied.
"Is that why he's outside there?" She asked as she pointed out of the window towards Snails, just before he was stepping inside the cafe once more.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is stupid, Damn it, this is so stupid. I hope Snails can act along with me so we don't raise suspicions.
Snails then came over and said,

"Oh, Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara. Funny seeing you two here. Excuse me, Diamond, can you scootch up, so I get some space please?" He asked.
"Of course" Diamond replied as she moved up the booth.
"Ah, better letting all that out, than letting it stay in" He said to me as he sat the booth, disgusting the two mares in the booths.

OK, I know Snails isn't a smart fellow, so to speak. But he of all ponies should know when and when not to speak about dirty things when around other ponies, this is a time when he is not meant to speak about dirty things, he can be an absolute fucking idiot sometimes. Or maybe he's not being an idiot and is just doing this as a stupid joke. I can't be sure,

"So, Snails, how come you were outside?" Diamond asked.

At this point, Snails' half closed eyes widened. As everyone looked at him, he looked at me, with an expression that said "Help me out, man!" I thought of something, I said to him,

"Yeah, how come you were outside, man?" I asked calmly. I winked at him, which was pretty much me saying "Say anything, just think of an excuse".

Snails thought to himself, then he looked at Diamond Tiara, who was still expecting an answer. Then he came up with something,

"Well, Snips, you remember Tommy, right?" He asked me.
"The drug dealer?" I questioned.
"Yeah, him. I just noticed him outside and realized I owe him bread from two months ago, when my gramps was on vacation" Snails acted out well.
"Bread?" Silver questioned.
"Slang for money" Snails told her.
"Oh right" Silver replied.
"Don't speak like that, Snails" I said.
"Speak like what, homie?" He asked.
"Like that" I told him, "Homie, bread, all that crap, man. You're not a gangster from Las Pegasus or Manehattan"
"I'm a pothead, it's close enough" Snails joked.

OK, Snails is going too far now, the gang slang, the dirty jokes, the pot reference. I need to set him straight, right now,

"Silver?" I tried to get her attention.
"Yes, Snips?" She replied.
"Me and Snails, need to talk about about something, in private, can I just get passed you please?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure" She replied.
"Thanks, Silver" I said.
"No problem" Silver smiled.

She scooted out of the booth to let me out, I let myself out of the booth and she slid back to sit inside the booth,

"Snails, come with" I ordered my friend.
"Sure thing man" He replied as he followed me.

I went over to beside the door that led to the male restroom, Snails followed on. I stopped, turned around to face my friend and said to him,

"You got the tickets, man?"
"Sure thing, Snips" Snails replied, "I got them right here"

He levitated the tickets out from the strangest, though the most genius place Snails would think of, his mane. He levitated them over to me and I took over the levitation with my magic,

"Thanks, Snails" I thanked, "Also, I don't know if you're being an asshole, playing a cruel joke or you just don't know any better, but stop acting like a fucking idiot around Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara"
"I don't know what you mean" He replied, acting confused, when he actually knew I was being serious.
"The gang speak, the drug references, the fucking piss joke" I said.
"Hey! One of those drug references saved your fucking plan!" He replied.
"OK, yeah, I will admit that, but that still doesn't stop you from making piss jokes and acting like your douchebag gangster uncle" I told him.
"I'm trying to act cool around Diamond Tiara" He said.
"No offense, Snails. But you wouldn't know cool if it sat on your face" I replied, "Why are you trying to act cool around Diamond Tiara anyways? You don't like her"
"I know, but she's got something going on, she's looking good" Snails said in tone that suggested he might hit on her.
"Your one-track mind makes it difficult for me to be your friend, you know that?" I asked.
"Hasn't stopped you from being my best friend for eleven years" Snails said.
"True" I replied, "But anyways, don't try to hit on Diamond Tiara, she'll turn you down before you even finish your sentence, save the hitting on for Scootaloo"
"You can't stop me" Snails told me.
"You're right, I can't. But I'm telling you not to do it, because you're going to make an ass of yourself" I said.
"Ass of myself? When do I not make an ass of myself? It can't get any worse" He replied.

I shrugged, he makes a fair point, and at least he's honest about being an ass. So I might as well let him do it, even though I know what the consequences are going to be,

"Fine" I uttered, "Let's go back to the table, I want to surprise her"
"Alright, man" Snail responded.

We both made our back to the table, I sat back beside Silver Spoon and Snails sat back beside Diamond Tiara, and then he started to say to her,

"So, Diamond Tiara, long time, no spea-"
"Don't talk to me, perv" She interrupted him, before taking a sip of her coffee, then resting the cup back on the table, "Just...don't"

Well, what do you know? I was right again, she rejected him before he could finish his words. Cold bitch. Snails, looked to the empty side of him, feeling rejected. Diamond Tiara showed no emotion, and just stared out of the window. I looked over to Silver Spoon, who sighed at her bitchy friend and took a sip of her coffee, she looked annoyed at Diamond Tiara, maybe I can cheer her up with the tickets,

"Silver, are you OK?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Snips" She nodded.
"You sure?" I wanted to make sure.

She nodded and let out a little "mhm" hum,

"Guess what, Silver? I've got something for you" I told her.
She turned to face with a smile, "What is it?"
"You know how I said I'd get the tickets to the Gala?" I hinted.
She gasped, "You didn't"
"I did" I replied as I levitated the tickets onto the table, "And one of them is yours"

At this point, Silver was overwhelmed with joy and before I knew it, she gave me a tight hug and a small peck on the lips, right in front of Snails and Diamond Tiara. But just after she kissed me, she realized it was the excitement taking her over, so after she finished, she blushed and looked over at her friend, who was looking at her with another pissed off expression, and I looked over at Snails, and he gave the exact look you would probably think at a time like this, he had that shit eating grin on his smug face,

"Well, man. It seems you and Silver have got plans to discuss, I'll leave you two alone and buy some pot, homie" He said, taunting me and ignoring my instruction of not speaking like a gangster and the drug references, it's like he's trying to make me hate him.
I sighed in annoyance, "Don't bogart that shit, man. I'll catch you later"

Snails nodded and got out of the booth and made his way out of the cafe, and you know what? I couldn't be happier. Diamond Tiara also finally started to say something,

"Well, that coffee was good. What about yours, Silver?" She asked.
"It was....em....OK" Silver replied.
"I'll see you two lovebirds later, but by the next time I see you, every pony in school will be crowding around you" Diamond Tiara said as she left the booth and exited the cafe.

It was just me and Silver left here now. Our friends were now gone and it was just me and her together. She still looked a little shy after the brief kiss we shared,

"You OK?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, if that kiss seemed a little abrupt" She apologized.
"No need to be sorry, Silver. I didn't mind it, per say" I chuckled.
"It was just over-excitement. And thanks for the tickets, Snips" Silver thanked.
"It's the least I can do" I said.
"Oh, OK" She replied.
"Do you want to go do something?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry, want to just stay here and get some food?" She asked, "I'll buy since you got the tickets"
"OK, that's cool, thanks" I replied gratefully.

Silver leaned over towards me and gave me a little kiss on the cheek, she then came towards my ear and whispered,

"You're welcome"
> Chapter 10: And the Uncomfortable Antics Ensue 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Dee stepped inside Mocha la Coca and we're now ready to get our coffee after Dee's encounter with the con pony. She still had her annoyed look on her face, and was extremely pissed off, she's like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode,

"He better be with my money, Silver" Dee told me.
"Yes, I know. Don't start with this now, let's just get our drinks, this day has started off more badly than I thought" I told her with my tiring voice.
"Oh, so you knew something bad would happen?" Dee interrogated, "Bet I came to mind when you thought of something bad?"
"Dee, shut up, please, I didn't mean it like that. It's just..." I tried to say.
"It's just what, Silver?" Dee asked angrily.
"...Nothing, it's nothing. Let's just get our coffee, then we'll go, OK?" I said.
"OK" Dee shrugged.

We both went up to the counter, shockingly, there wasn't a line, and hardly anypony was there,

"Hey, welcome to Mocha la Coca, can I get you two anything?" The mare at the counter asked us.

Dee went ahead to tell the mare what we wanted as she stared at the menu,

"Hmm...I'll have a....no...maybe a..." Diamond said.

Whilst Dee was struggling with saying what she wanted, I observed the few customers inside the cafe, until my eye got caught sights of one of the customers, which happened to be Snips. It's weird how I didn't notice him as soon as I came in. He looked like he was sleeping on his hoof, with two milkshakes at the table with him, this means that either Snails was here and will be back or Snips was thirsty enough to buy himself two milkshakes. Greedy boy.

I went over to approach him, and to wake up as well. He looked peaceful whilst he was asleep,

"Excuse me, Snips?" I greet him.

He groggily awoken as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked around, adjusting himself to his surroundings and sparked up when he saw me,

"Oh my God, Silver! How are you?" He asked me politely.
"I'm great, Snips. What about yourself?" I asked back with a smile.
"I'm feeling good, now you're here" He replied.

Aww, how sweet. That's really nice of him. He maybe pushed it just a little bit though, still nice though,

"Oh, you!" I giggled.
"Em...uh...do you and....uh..." He began to stutter.

He then tilted his head to the right and looked past me to see Dee, I turned around and saw her as well, giving us an angry look. I swear to Celestia, I hope she doesn't make a scene, she's prone to making fun of ponies like Snips, as well as Snails. Speaking of which, where is Snails?

Snips continued, "..Diamond Tiara want sit with me and Snails over here?"

I turned around to face Dee, who gave me a light shake of the head, it's clearly obvious she doesn't want to sit here, but screw her, I'm doing it anyways,

"Yeah, we'd love to" I smiled at him.
"Eh-hem, Silver Spoon" Dee spoke behind me.

I closed my eyes and took a small but deep breath, before turning around to face her,

"What is it?" I asked her.
"What about our coffee?" She asked me, trying to get me away from him.
"I'll get it once it's ready, alright?" I replied to her with a stern tone.
"Fine" She shrugged.

I shook my head as I turned around to face back Snips, who moved up and kindly made space for me to sit in the booth, I smiled gently at him and sat beside him. But holy shit, is that bad for Dee to just sit with other ponies? It's a damned nightmare taking her places. I also feel sorry for the guy who owes her money, but he shouldn't have tried to con out a fucking kid,

"Did you get the news that the School is shut as well?" Snips asked me once I sat down.
"Yeah, I did. I didn't see you at the School though" I told him.
"Oh, me and Snails got there early, we saw the note on the door and just took the longer way to here" He explained.

Oh yeah, where the Hell is Snails? I don't think he's the same as Snips, if anything, I think he's a douchebag,

"Where is Snails anyways?" I asked.
"Oh, he's in the restroom" Snips replied.
"OK, did you tell him about um...." I began to ask him.
"Yesterday?" He questioned.
"Yeah, did you tell Snails about it? I won't get mad if you say you did" I told him as I nodded.

I don't mind, since I told DT about some of it anyways. Not to mention, Spike will probably spread the word to that off,

"To be honest, yeah, I did. How come you're not mad about it?" He asked me with curiosity.
Time to tell him what I think, "Word will get around about it eventually, mostly from Spike, considering the fact you two don't like each other" I explained to him.
"Huh, I guess you're right" Snips chuckled contemptibly at my remark

Guess I should just tell him I admitted it to someone as well,

"I told Dee as well, part of it, sorry"
"Dee?" He asked.
"Oh, I mean Diamond Tiara, it's a nickname I give her" I told him.

It was at this point when my and Snips' polite chit chat was halted by Dee sitting at the booth with the coffee, giving me an annoyed stare. Oh fuck, I forgot to get the coffee, that's why she's looking at me like that. She moved my coffee over to me, I had a latte, whilst she had a cappuccino,

"So is that other milkshake yours as well, Snips?" Dee asked him.
"No, it's Snails'" Snips replied to her.
"Where is he anyways?" Dee asked him with mild curiosity.
"Restroom" He told her.
"Is that why he's outside there?" Diamond asked him as she pointed outside the window.

I turned around to see Snails outside the cafe, just before he stepped in. Why was he outside? I thought he was in the restroom? I looked at Snips' facial expression and he looked just as confused as me. I then glanced at Dee to see that she wasn't happy, as per fucking usual. That just annoys me how she can't even crack a damn smirk. But anyways, Snails made it up to the table and then said to both me and Dee,

"Oh, Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara. Funny seeing you two here" He greeted us with his...usual..um....charm, "Excuse me, Diamond, can you scootch up, so I get some space please?" He asked Dee.
"Of course" She replied as she moved up across the booth.

That's the first time in years I've heard her say of course, and she actually let him in the booth instead of saying her usual phrases such as, "Fuck off" and "This is my space, find another", but anyways, she seems to be doing well so far, aside from giving me and Snips a few odd looks. But it seems like all of us can have a good conversation about whatever,

"Ah, better letting all that out, than letting it stay in" Snails uttered as he sat in the booth.

I was wrong, this conversation is fucked already. What an absolutely disgusting thing to say, I turned to Snips to see him hanging his head in shame as his friend smirks at him, is he trying to annoy Snips?

"So, Snails, how come you were outside?" Dee asked him with very little curiosity, as if she was just speaking to pass the time.

Snails' tired expression shot into a worried one, as if whatever he did outside was a crime. To be honest, I wouldn't expect any different from him,

"Yeah, how come you were outside, man?" Snips asked him as well, but he had more curiosity than Dee.

Snails thought to himself, and glanced at Dee. Who was looking him as if she wanted an answer, but I know she doesn't care either way,

"Well, Snips, you remember Tommy, right?" Snails asked his friend.
"The drug dealer?" Snips asked back.

Wait, drug dealer? So I guess it's true that these two are pot heads, not that I mind of course. I'd actually like to try it sometime,

"Yeah, him. I just noticed him outside and realized I owe him bread from two months ago, when my gramps was on vacation" Snails told Snips with a lot of hoof movements.

What the fuck is he talking about?

"Bread?" I questioned aloud.
Snips leaned towards me and replied, "Slang for money"
"Oh right" I said.
Snips then looked back at Snails, "Don't speak like that, Snails" He ordered him.

I like myself a bossy boy,

"Speak like what, homie?" Snails questioned, clearly trying to annoy Snips.
"Like that. Homie, bread, all that crap, man. You're not a gangster from Las Pegasus or Manehattan" Snips explained to him.
"I'm a pothead, it's close enough" Snails smirked at his buddy.

At this point, poor Snips hung his head in defeat. I feel sorry for the cutie, I can relate to having a friend who can act like a complete and utter...damn, I'm not even going to say it. I guess I can't necessarily blame Dee for being who she is, grant it, she's mentally ill, but she's still my friend. My only friend. But anyways, my point is that, there is a line that has been drawn in the fucking sand which you can't cross if you go too far, and I think Snails in Snips' eyes, has gone too far,

"Silver?" He said to me.
"Yes, Snips?" I asked.
"Me and Snails, need to talk about about something, in private, can I just get passed you please?" He told and asked me.
"Yeah, sure" I replied.
"Thanks, Silver" He thanked me kindly.
"No problem" I replied with a smile.

I got out of the booth and let Snips make his way passed, he gave me a light nod as a sign of thanks and I nodded back. He called Snails to go along with him and Snails did and I sat back down.

Once I sat back down I had a smile on my face and took a sip of my coffee. Whilst I was doing that, I noticed at the corner of my eye that Dee was still giving me an odd look. I can't fucking take it anymore, what the hell does she want?

"What is it, Dee?" I asked in annoyance.
"It could've turned out just another ordinary off day for us" Dee replied stoically.
"What do you mean?" I questioned with a sigh in my voice.
"We could've just hanged around like we usually do but we had to sit with these guys" Dee told me.
"Well, I like Snips" I said, "Next time we sit with your cockney lover, I'll be sure to complain about as well"
"Hey, I like Snips as well, well, at least more the dumbass I'm sitting beside, not to mention he's a fucking perv too" Dee explained to me with a hint of anger.
"Would it kill you to behave nicely for five minutes? Five minutes? Okay? Please" I begged her.
"Oh yeah, dad. I'll be on my best behavior whilst we're having dinner with your colleagues" She sarcastically replied to me in a way that portrays me as her parent.
"Your sarcasm speaks volumes. Cut it out" I told her as I rubbed my hoof against my forehead with my eyes closed.
"You haven't even kissed him yet, in front of us yet I mean" Dee mentioned.
"Your point?" I questioned.
"If you two are an item then show it" Dee replied.

I've had enough of her dumb fucking bullshit, if she wants to be sarcastic, I can play that game too,

"How does feel to give up a space to Snails, Dee?" I asked her.

She grumbled and looked away and shook her head and then stared out the window and at this point Snips and Snails returned to the booth, good thing he missed the best bits of me and Dee's little talk. I moved to the side and let Snips sit on my left as I sighed and took a drink of my coffee. Then Snails went over beside her and then said,

"So, Diamond Tiara, long time, no spea-" He began.
Dee then replied, "Don't talk to me, perv" She then had a drink of coffee, "Just....don't"

I sighed again and had another sip of my drink. She really can be a piece of work at times, and it stresses me right out. As much as I love her, she can just be the bitchiest person I know and we bicker like an old married couple. Snips must've been noticing my facial expression, because in the corner of my eye I can see him looking concerned for me,

"Silver, are you OK?" The nice guy asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Snips" I replied.
"You sure?" He asked me to make sure.

I nodded and hummed "mhm" to him. I lied to him basically, I'm not feeling too great, I'm in a bad mood due to Dee. But Snips' is nice enough to find out what's the matter, it's really good of him,

"Guess what, Silver? I've got something for you" He told me as he gently nudged me on the side.
I smirked a little bit before turning to face him, "What is it?" I asked.
He then smirked as well, as if he couldn't wait to tell me, "You know how I said I'd get the tickets to the Gala?"

No way, he didn't. When did he get them? Did he even get them? Oh my, I'm literally so happy right now that the sides of my face are hurting due to smiling,

"You didn't" I gasped.
"I did" He told me as he put the tickets on the table, "And one of them is yours"

I couldn't hold my excitement in any longer, I'm going to kiss him.

And I did, I pounced into him a little gave him a tight squeeze and a small smooch on his lips....right in front of Dee and Snails. I let go of Snisp and then looked at Dee, who gave me one of her usual expressions, which formed to a condescending smile. I blushed and looked around the cafe in order to ignore it,

"Well man" Snails began to say to Snips, "It seems you and Silver have got plans to discuss, I'll leave you two alone and buy some pot, homie"
"Don't bogart that shit, man. I'll catch you later" Snips sighed as he bode farewell to his friend as Snails left the building.
"Well, that coffee was good" Dee began as she took her last gulp, "What about yours, Silver?"

You know what? The coffee was kind of bland. Yeah, despite Mocha la Cocha being one of the top coffehouse brands in Equestria, it was really disappointing,

"It was....em....OK" I told her.
"I'll see you two lovebirds later, but by the next time I see you, every pony in school will be crowding around you" She told us as she left the booth and gave me a quick wink.

So then it was just me and Snips at the booth, I looked at him briefly and then looked away blushing. I'm still a little shy after the lip contact,

"You OK?" He asked with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, if that kiss seemed a little abrupt" I apologized.
"No need to be sorry, Silver. I didn't mind it, per say" He shrugged it off and chuckled.
"It was just over-excitement" I explained, "And thanks for the tickets, Snips" I thanked him.
"It's the least I can do" He told me.
"Oh, OK" I replied.
"Do you want to go do something?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry, want to just stay here and get some food? I'll buy since you got the tickets" I asked him and told him.
"OK, that's cool, thanks" He gratefully thanked me.

I then smiled at him and leaned closer to him and pecked his cheek, then went to his ear and whispered gently,

"You're welcome"