Welcome, to the Jungle

by KarlGaks

First published

Marlin Finds himself in the Everfree forest and must survive the horrors of the Equestrian wilderness.

Marlin Finds himself in the Everfree forest and must survive the horrors of the Equestrian wilderness. Along the way he discovers that he's not the only thing smarter than a duck out there.

Chapter one: Call of the Wild

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Marlin was his name, he was a fairly normal fellow. There wasn't a whole lot to speak for in terms of any excitement in his life. Well, not until today at least. He worked at a local supermarket part time to keep a little bit of cash in his pocket as he went through college. Right now he was working a register at said supermarket.

"Jesus, this shift feels a whole hour longer than normal. Then again I suppose it is a Wednesday night, and who the hell goes out to get food on a late Wednesday evening?"

He said this just as what seemed to be several masked men in hoodies burst into the store. Each was holding a weapon of some sort, at least if you considered a computer keyboard a weapon.

"Everybody down!" One of the men shouted.

Of course this had to happen... I mean, why wouldn't it? This is me we're talking about here. Still though a little inconvenient considering I have that big test tomorrow morning.

Marlin thought this as he crouched below the counter with his eyes closed just waiting for the men to leave. Oddly though, as he crouched below the counter he didn't hear any movement. No stomping of feet or anything as he crouched below the counter. There was no one telling him to open the register and empty his pockets or anything. Did they leave?

Marlin was, to say the least, perplexed by this odd turn of events but never the less he stayed just as he was. At least until he started noticing how the legs he was kneeling on felt... damp? He opened his eyes now, his curiosity getting to him.

"What the fuck?!"

He was now very, very confused. He had good reason to be as well as he was currently kneeling in the middle of a very thick forest. It was more of a jungle really but details are details.

"Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?"

His only answer was a rather vicious sounding roar coming from probably no more than a quarter mile off, though in what direction, Marlin could not tell. Upon hearing this he quickly decided he would rather not take his chances and got up on his feet. The terrain around him was more or less smooth though peppered with rocks of varying sizes, some were the size of pebbles and others more or less the size of small boulders. The foliage was quite dense though not so dense that it could not be passed through. It consisted mostly of large ferns, miniature palm tree like plants, and large trees of the deciduous type. Oh and also bushes, lots and lots of bushes.

Marlin first off needed an initial plan of action. The most important thing right now would be to find shelter, but to do that he would need to know the surrounding area to figure out the best spot. The solution was obvious but the actual task wasn't quite so simple, at least for Marlin.

"I'm really starting to see why people keep telling me to start exercising. Then again maybe I'm just seeing why no one over 17 climbs trees..."

Marlin isn't fat by any means, he just doesn't bother with physical exercise all that often. Eventually though, he miraculously made it all the way to the top of the tree and was able to have a look at his surroundings. When he did look around he was awestruck.

"Damn son, that's one big forest."

It was in fact a very large forest. Actually, it was the largest forest Marlin had ever seen that wasn't on television. Then again it may have been the only forest he had ever seen that wasn't on television. He doesn't really get out much. Off to the east there was a sizable cliff face, to the north he couldn't see much other than trees due to some low hanging clouds, to the south he could see a very unpleasant looking desert about a good 25 miles off to his estimate, and finally to the west he saw a... castle?

"This is supposed to be the fucking wilderness! Oh wait... it is. Still though, what the hell is a castle doing all the way out here?"

He climbed down from the tree to go and head towards the castle, it wasn't like he has anything better to do out here, and hey, maybe they had food not to mention it would fulfill his need of shelter.


The walk was rather long but he made it eventually. Or at least he made it to a bridge.

"I can't help but feel like Indiana Jones here with this old rope bridge. I just hope it doesn't collapse..."

He began his crossing of the bridge, being careful to avoid particularly rotten boards, which, mind you is no easy feat. It took a couple of minutes but he crossed mostly unscathed. However, his mind had been scarred slightly by the sight of some unidentifiable corpse at the bottom of the ravine he had just crossed.

Now that he was across he decided it best to follow the extremely overgrown trail which supposedly led up to the castle he had seen earlier. After a good five minutes of following the trail he spotted his query.

"Ah, civilization at last! Wait... Oh fuck me! This is abandoned! For a moment there I was really starting to believe in a world that didn't completely hate me."

Indeed the castle was abandoned, for a couple of hundred years at least. Vines crawled up the weathered, half destroyed walls of the castle. It would have been quite beautiful if it wasn't currently turning night. In truth it looked scary as hell now in the darkness.

"Only one choice now, go inside and have look around. Shelter is shelter right? What do they say about survival? You need food, water, and shelter I believe, at least according to that guy tele. At least this falls in one of those categories."

On that note we wandered through the decrepit archway. This place was likely a very grand palace at one point, but now it was nothing more than most of a heap of rubble.

What could have driven out this castle's previous owners I wonder? I doubt anyone would give up something so magnificent so easily without being forced. I also doubt that it would have been attacked by another kingdom, they most certainly have kept the castle for themselves to spread the empire and their influence. At least that's what I would have done.

He was now in what he assumed at one point was a room dedicated to the study of the cosmos or something like that. This assumption was based off of the odd looking pedestal like thing in the center of the room that at one point likely would have held 7 orbs. Now there was only one large stone one in the center left. The others were likely stolen or destroyed. Marlin went with the latter based on the bits of shattered stone on the center of the room. The edges of the shards were still fairly sharp as if they had been broken more recently than the rest of the castle.

"I think I'm done exploring for tonight. I can leave all of that for the morning."

He lay down in a corner of the room looking up at the sky watching the bats as they flew across th-

"That's no bat! That's a motherfucking bat winged horse that is! Well one things for fucking sure Toto, we sure as hell ain't in Kansas anymore."

As he said this one of the flying horses looked like it seized up falling down into the forest not far away, oddly though, none of the others went to follow it.

"Might as well go get a closer look at it. It isn't like I'd ever sleep comfortably on a stone floor anyways."

Chapter two: Batpony Begins

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The walk to where the bat/pegasus thing was was fairly uneventful save for the weird chicken/snake thing the walked out of the bushes in front of Marlin. Marlin though didn't stop for a heartbeat to wonder about the implications of such a creature existing and promptly punted the poor bastard towards the nearest deadly looking thing he could see. That just so happened to be the mouth of the giant lion/scorpion that had been stalking him for the past 6 and a half minutes.

The lion/scorpion swallowed the chicken/snake, surprised by his free dinner, smiled at Marlin and gave him what he assumed was a thumbs up and proceeded to walk off, no longer interested in eating his new friend. Marlin just shrugged and continued walking towards the direction of the bat/pegasus.

Is it just me or does this new world seem to have a lot of creatures that simply just shouldn't exist? I mean seriously, chicken/snakes? How much weirder does it get? Oh right giant lion/scorpions, because why the hell not?

Marlin was very much enjoying this mental conversation with himself. He just found it unspeakably funny that this was in fact a legitimate thought process brought about by the existence of existing nonexistent creatures.

"Yo dawg..."


A good ten minutes later he reached the bat/pegasus. Some people would call it luck that walking in a straight direction would lead him right to what he was searching for, but he knew better, it was obviously just his internal gps that came with being born a man. With that thing, he was never lost. Anyways though, that wasn't important, he was just here for the unconscious bat/pegasus on the ground in front of him.

"I'm really curious to see what it actually is but I don't think I want to be out in the middle of the forest right now..."

With that he picked up the pony thing with it's forelegs over his shoulder, hanging down onto his back and turned around back to where he started from.

"I honestly have no idea what the point of this was."


Not much farther now I think... That's it just in the distance.

Marlin and the bat/pegasus neared the old castle. In truth Marlin was actually quite enjoying the chance to carry the bat/pegasus thing. In truth it was absolutely adorable with it's fuzzy ears and tiny hooves, not that he would ever admit it to anyone, especially the bat/pegasus. Then again even if he did it probably wouldn't care considering there's no possible way it could be sentient too. Honestly, the sheer fact of the creature's existence was crazy enough, make it sentient too and that'd just be insane.

Not that it mattered anyways, the castle was just across the bridge over the ravine now. Crossing with the creature on Marlin's should made it a bit more difficult, but he managed, his foot only slipping once. Upon arriving on the other side of the bridge he adjusted the creature's position on his shoulder, it made a small noise but was still more or less unconscious. The rest of the walk was extremely short lived as the castle was only about 20 feet from Marlin's side of the bridge.

No matter though, he had arrived at his destination and was pretty tired just as any normal person would be.

"Home at last! sort of. I think this place has potential though, maybe I'll spruce it up a little in the future, make it a bit more homely, ya know?"

The bat/pegasus on his back mumbled something that sounded a bit like 'bloody chocolate chip cookies', but of course it was nothing close to what it said because it was a horse and horses can't talk. Right? Of course not.

"Hmm... sounds like sleeping beauty's about to awaken. Oh shit, I take that back. I'm not kissing this thing, I don't even know what is. Maybe I should think a bit more about what I say before I actually say it."

The creature made another incomprehensible noise.

"Oh right! Horse!"

He quickly went into the room he was in before and set the thing on the stone floor, not before brushing away a bit of debris out of the way though first. After doing this he stepped back a bit to give it some room to breath when it regained consciousness, which happened a good three seconds after it was set down.

"Gah! Falling! Dead me no!"

It cried out in a distinctly feminine voice as it flailed out on the ground a bit. This surprised Marlin very much, this was the one thing he really wasn't expecting. Simply put he was very much tongue tied at the spectacle. Talking and female... More or less it broke his mind for a good couple of seconds.

"Wait... no... I'm still alive, I guess that's a-"

It had noticed him and was now very much afraid. Never in her life had she seen a creature such as this. It was quite an alien experience to see something like this before. Was it going to eat her? Cut her up into little bits and put her in a stew? She supposed she would soon find out anyways though. As for marlin though his mind had just caught up to reality and he effectively flipped out.

"Fuck! What the hell? Talking horse thing! KILL IT! DEMONSPAWN!!"

He was now running about the room screaming with his arms flying out every which way in a very uncontrolled manner. A couple of seconds later he calmed down from the mental seizure and walked up to the bat thing. If it could talk he could probably reason with it so it wouldn't kill him right? It was probably futile but it was his only choice as of right now.

Here goes nothing... Time to beg for your life buddy.

"Hey... Horse thing... I'd really appreciate it I could keep all of my limbs attached to my body as they mean a lot to me and were given to me by my mother on my birthday a while back. So could you just maybe not kill me or eat me alive or anything like that? Thanks."

The bat pony was completely bewildered but slightly amused at his odd joke. So it wasn't going to eat her? This was definitely good news. First off though she needed to explain to it that she wasn't going to eat it alive.

"Whoa buddy... Calm down. I'm not going to eat you, I was more expecting you to eat me than anything else.

"Oh well that's good I suppose."

"Yes quite, now would you mind explaining to me why I'm here?'