> Inventing Happiness
>  by Octorocktopus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter I - Tinker Gearclank
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



	

When I finally parked at the immigration station, I got a number of looks: some annoyed, some curious, and they weren't just at my mode of transportation. Sure, my Crab-Like Locomotive Device (I've never really been good with names. Though some have suggested I just call it a 'Crab Walker') was pretty strange, as in Equestria, from what I've heard, most vehicles powered by 'magic' or steam seem to make use of wheels. The same wasn't true with goblins, however. 

I think the real reason I caught their attention was because of me. I don't know why, really. Haven't they ever seen a goblin before? True, our nation was somewhat far away, but it was like I was completely alien to them. Then again, they pretty much were to me as well, I suppose. Quadpedal versus bipedal, furry versus scaly, cute versus... scary looking, I suppose? Goblins did have sharper teeth than most, but it isn't our fault we eat meat. However, I'd like to think I'm a bit cuter looking than the whole of our species. Perhaps I'm just being narcissistic, though. 

It didn't matter, they would get used to me in time, and vice versa. It had to be that way: who else was I going to sell to? I had a plan, and gaining their trust was a part of it. However, first I had to gain the trust of the immigration officer, and if I've learned one thing in my time, the best way to gain someone's, or somepony's trust was with...





"...Two thousand Gringot's Nuggets," I said, smiling proudly. I sat in the waiting room of the station, a chilly (to me at least - no fur), wooden little place, waiting for the immigration officer to call me to his office. The chairs were the right height for me, I suppose, though some of the Saddle Arabian ponies I saw there sat with their hind legs on the benches. I suppose it was what they were made for, but to me, it was a strange, but amusing sight, to say the least.

There, I had found another unusual hopeful Equestrian. He was a changeling, in natural form with those cute little insect wings and all. I didn't know how he expected to obtain citizenship: the news of the attack on Canterlob- or was it Canterlute - whatever - traveled fast: all the way to the Goblin Alliance. However, it wasn't really my business to pry. 

"Woah!" the changeling chuckled. "You're just asking to get robbed, you know."

My eyes widened, as a shiver ran down my back. "Hey! D-Don't get any ideas!" I cried nervously, hugging my sack of coins defensively.

He gave a slight chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Easy, there. I wouldn't rob you - well, not in the immigration office..."

I let loose an 'EEP', hugging the sack tighter. "Please don't try, this is all I have and I don't want to have to use-"

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" the changeling laughed. "Man, you're pretty wound tight, you know that?"

I blinked, taking a deep breath, before giving him an apologetic smile. "Yeah- sorry. G-Guess I'm just nervous about getting into Equestria."

Truthfully though, I can get... agitated in social situations - sometimes. Actually - make that all the time. My best friends were a wrench, hammer and a good book on electronics, not other... entities. Luckily, the changeling had more patients than my family ever did when it came to my... anxiety. Yet still, how far would it get me otherwise?

By the Treasure of Gringot, I am so screwed... I thought. 

He put on a smirk. "Just take it easy - if a changeling can get in, you definitely can."

"Speaking of which..." I said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

His smirk turned into an inviting smile. "That's alright - really, I'd think the same thing in your...-" He blinked, glancing at my feet. "Um- what are those things?"

I glanced down, smiling as well. On my feet were two boots completely made of metal. 

"They're my own invention!" I said proudly. "I call them Feet Warmers!" 

The changeling raised an eyebrow. 

I smiled sheepishly. "Alright - I really need to work on naming things... but at least the name tells it as it is! There is an electrical current running through them powered by a buffer that collects static electricity that warms them, though I won't burn my feet because of heat-absorbing alchemically enhanced Terasnell lacing the interior of it. Pretty neat, huh?!"

The changeling nodded slowly. "Yeah... I have no idea what anything you just said means."

"Er, yeah- heh," I said, blushing slightly while hoping to god the changeling didn't think I was an idiot. I had completely forgotten that electrical circuits and wiring was something brand new to the world, and somewhat crude even in the Goblin Alliance. "A-Anyway - sorry for interrupting. Go ahead and continue."

"No sweat," he smiled. "Anyway - so yeah: turns out that Princess Celestia is more forgiving than anyone could have guessed. I think she realizes that we have a crappy leader, and that we're not all just bad little bugs that go bump in the night, ya know?"

"Yeah," I sighed. Goblins sort of had a bad rep because of certain... circumstances. I can get into that later, though. "A little bit. So what did she do that was so forgiving? Er - not that you need to be forgiven. I'm sorry if I sound racis-"

"You need to invent a chill pill next," he said, sticking his tongue out. "It's cool - really. Just don't call me 'Swish Cheese Legs', I hate when people do that. But anyway- where was I?"

"Um - the part about Princess Celestia being forgiving," I blinked.

"Oh, duh-" the changeling said, chuckling nervously while scratching the back of his head. "Yeah... I sort of have-" He blushed, before shutting down the subject before it began.

"What's up?" I asked. "I mean uh - unless it's a personal matter. I don't mean to pry-"

"It's nothing, and it's alright, I just uh - have some memory issues," he sighed. "So yeah- Princess Celestia's has offered all changelings the same right to be given citizenship as any other species. You just have to have enough gold, enough guts, and enough willpower to see it through! And I have over four-hundred nuggets saved up! I uh- I think they're worth two Equestrian bits, right? You need eight-hundred of those to get in..."

"I'm- I'm not sure," I said, gazing at him sympathetically. He really did seem to have memory issues. I really hoped he had enough to get in...

Oh no, don't you start getting ideas. You need all the money you have and more! Don't start getting charitable! You start doing that and you'll never bloody stop!

I then coughed slightly, before changing the subject with: "Um... I just had one question, though."

"Shoot!" he said, smiling brightly. 

"Who's Princess Celestia?"

...

A beat.

The changeling gave me a deadpan look. This time I was sure he was thinking 'what an idiot. What an idiot. What a bloody stupid, green idiot...' "Hoooo boy..." he said.

I cringed slightly.

The changeling gave me a reassuring look. "Well, hey - I didn't mean to make it sound like it was that bad. I'm sure you'll get in, anyway! But uh - in case they ask, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are the nation's leaders. They're also responsible for raising the sun and the moon each day and night- for the entire planet, I think."

Immediately, my eyes widened. "You mean - P-Princess Celestia is Solstus?!" 

"Who?" he asked.

"Solstus!" I said, bouncing excitedly, before noticing that the ponies around me were giving me looks. I quickly cleared my throat, before whispering: "Solstus is the name my people have for the Sun Alicorn. Most goblins don't believe in her, though, and the word that Equestria is home to Solstus, and her sister, Naragog, is considered nothing but fairy tale. But my family is sort of religious..."

"So wait - goblins don't believe that Princess Celestia has any power?"

I shook my head. "The Sun and Moon Alicorns are supposed to be above politics and mortal dealings."

The changeling giggled yet again. "Oh man - aren't you in for a surprise..." 

I rolled my eyes, before quickly apologizing with a sheepish chuckle. "S-Sorry, I don't mean to insult your beliefs-"

"Nothing you've said so far has insulted me," he sighed. 

"-But I never said I believed in that nonsense. Sure, 'magic' is real, but there are scientific theories as to how it's possible. The idea that celestial beings even exist - and have the capacity to move stellar objects?! That's beyond what any theory can explain! It's ludicrous!"

The changeling smirked slightly. "Then how do you explain the day without a sun that happened three years back? I-it was three years back, right? Or maybe it was two... whatever! But yeah - right when the rumors that Nightmare Moon - Luna's evil form, if you don't know, returned?"

"I think I know what you're talking about," I said, though with a rational tone building. "But the Goblin Science Academy already has an explanation for it - sunspot activity."

"Sun... what?" the changeling said. 

"Sunspots! You know- spots on the sun," I groaned. "My gosh, you people are primitive - er, scientifically speaking!"

"Alright, now that's kind of offensive," the changeling groaned.

My eyes widened in horror. I had done it again - I had given into my habit of being condescending to those who weren't as... advanced scientifically as us goblins were. It was the third time the trip, and it never turned out well... if I kept this up, I'd have no customers in no time. "I'm so-so-so sorry!" I squeaked. "I didn't mean to sound so arrogant. Primitive was a bad word to use."

The changeling chuckled. "It's alright - I know you didn't mean any offense by it. But man - you need to work on your social skills a bit."

"T-Tell me about it," I sighed. 

He gave a shrug. "We all have our quirks," the changeling said, offering me a forgiving smile. "I know I do..."

Before he could continue, the door to the immigration officer's office swung open, and a tearful looking donkey sauntered out of it. Without a word, or a glance, he gathered his belongings, including a traveler's hat, before leaving the station.

"Tinker... Gearclank?" an overworked, tired voice called. "Sorry about the wait - you're good to come in."

"L-Let's just hope those quirks won't screw me over," I gulped, before lifting myself off the seat.

The changeling nodded. "Hey, same here." He then held out a hole-filled hoof. "Good luck in there, alright?"

"Thanks, you too," I said, forcing a smile his way, before shaking the hoof.

"Just hope I didn't do the math wrong with these golden nuggets," he said, before shrugging with a hopeful smile. "Ah well - I'm sure it'll be alright, right?"

"I'm sure it will," I smiled, before cringing at the greedy voice running through my head as I made my way to the door. 

Don't you even think about it. That changeling should have double-checked. You're here to run a business, not to make friends...

At that, I shook my head, before walking into the office. It was a shaded place, with a beam of dust-speckled light shining through its only window. On the wall were a few framed pictures, one of the station first being built, another of what I assumed was one of the first families moving in: a group of unicorns. It was strange: for such a primiti- ahem - scientifically inadequate nation, the Equestrians knew how to make a moment capturing device. 

They made use of it in many ways, more ways than goblins did. Goblins never took photographs of their families: such as what lay on the officer's desk. He was a stern looking unicorn, his eyes tired and sagging, but nevertheless, he offered me a smile.

"Please, have a seat," he said, nodding towards the chair in front of his desk, before walking over to the other side of the room and grabbing a cup of a strange, green liquid with his concentrated matter manipulation energy (our word for 'magic). "Tea?" he asked.

I blinked. "I'm sorry? I'm not familiar with local slang..." 

Why did he just randomly say a letter?

He smirked slightly, glancing down at the cup. "I forgot goblins drank coffee."

My eyes widened like a schoolgirl's at a Daft Funk concert.

Caffienated. Goodness. Give! NOW!.!.!

"Give me the brain juice," I said hypnotically, practically drooling in anticipation.

He did a double take. "I'm sorry?"

I snapped out of it, blinking rapidly. My withdraw from caffeine had taken a toll on me. I didn't have any room to pack it.

"I mean -" I said, grinning sheepishly. "I would gladly enjoy your caffeinated letter - I mean, tea."

At this point, I was practically sweating as I thought He probably thinks you're weird even for a goblin... be ready to make it up!

"Heh, well than you're welcome to it," he smiled, setting the cup down next to me. To my surprise, there was actually a handle to the cup, despite the fact ponies didn't have fingers.

I'm not even going to try to explain that.... not without the precious...

I took a sip of tea, as the officer sat down, sorting through a few papers. 

"Mph... this may take a second to find," he chuckled. "I'm afraid today's been a busy day. I know I saw your form in the mail... but while I look, how was your trip?"

I froze up. My trip was horrible. It rained and rained and rained... and I almost got attacked by a vampire rabbit. Yeah - vampire rabbits. This continent was insane...

So I did what any good goblin would do in this situation: lie.

"It was um- nice," I said. 

Just... nice?! Come on, you can come up with more than that! Twist this to your advantage. Say how excited you are to be near Equestrian soil!

I then coughed, gaining another weird look from the officer. "I mean- it was nice... until I got here! Then it was awesome! Equestria is so beautiful, with its rolling mountains and um- freedom of... speech?"

He nodded slowly, as I sunk back into my chair. 

Good Gringot, why am I even here? You just had to give into your goblin greed... I just hope I brought enough sunflower oil to get home..., I don't think hitchhiking is an option in these parts.

"Ah - here it is," he said, smiling as he sat a brown folder on his desk. "But yeah - why don't we get the hardest part out of the way? Sound good? I promise - I judge everyone fairly."

"Um... sure," I squeaked, shifting in my seat.

He then nodded, a serious look coming over his face. "Equestria is a nation of good will, miss. A nation of charity, and a nation of peace. Though we are also a land of forgiveness and tolerance, we won't let just anyone into our borders who would disrupt this." He narrowed his eyes. "So... I want you to relax and think for five or so minutes, however long it takes, and then tell me: Why do you want to be an Equestrian citizen?"

My sweat nearly began pouring like a river...
> Chapter II - White Lies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I sat alone for a minute as the immigration officer took a step outside his office, levitating a pack of cigarettes as he went. Immediately, I began biting at my fingernails, a nervous habit I could never seem to get rid of despite a usual lack of claws. 

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh, should I tell the truth? Equestria is about good will, is wanting to make money good will? I... I don't know. Does that make me a not-so-good person?

I squinted in thought, trying my best to remember what the Gringot Bible of Acquisition stated about greed relating to morality...

I honest-to-god couldn't remember anything.

Alright... think. Think. Make up your own mind - you want to start an honest business, right? And the outcome of that business... will lead to a better Equestria! And... me with my pockets full - but a better Equestria if my inventions are worth anything! Despite the fact that I only want to line my pockets, if the outcome of said desire helps and doesn't harm...

"That's that! I'll tell the truth!" I proclaimed, throwing a fist up in the air. "Honestly is the best policy! The truth will set me free! Insert cliche here!"

It was just then I realized the door was open behind me... and that everyone in the waiting room was looking in at me, including my chuckling changeling friend. I grinned sheepishly, before slowly shutting the door and slumping down in my chair. 

"Oh gosh..." she simpered. "How the heck am I supposed to handle customers?"

No! Keep your mind off the long-term for now. Concentrate on what you're going to say...

I sat there for a good three minutes, a clock on the wall ticking away. It eventually caught my eye, and immediately, my mind went to work examining it, soothing my anxiety as my curious side usually did. 

Hmmm... that clock must use a series of intricate gears. It can't be electric or steam, so.... wind-up? Must be. The gears are heavy enough that when one winds it up, it takes a great deal of time for it to wind down-

I snapped out of it when the door creaked open. In walked the border officer, looking much more relaxed then before, though he did smell a bit like tobacco. 

"Hey," he said, smiling slightly. "Do you need more time, or are you ready to go!"

My anxiety, previously dormant, immediately returned in full force.

"Um-" I peeped, stalling for time, I suppose. "Er- ahhh.... Eeeeee...."

Stop doing that, it sounds weird!

I shut my mouth. 

The border officer glanced at me funny. "I take that as a 'yes'?' he chuckled. "There's no need to be so nervous, you know. It may be the hardest part, but just take a few, deep breaths and-"

"I want to live in Equestria because I can totally help improve it's infrastructure with my awesome inventions even if I am making money and I'm not doing this for greed!" I suddenly blurted out, gasping soon after.

You. Neurotic. Idiot! I thought you weren't going to lie...

The officer nodded slowly yet again, smirking slightly. "I see what's going on, now: you're afraid you'll be judged as a 'will-stab-my-brother-for-a-gold-nugget goblin', don't you?"

I simpered slightly, blinking in disbelief that he hadn't thrown me out after that show of 'grace'.

"Equestria doesn't hold anything against people for being who they are. Even if you were just after a few bits, as long as you're honest about it and no harm comes from it, why not?" He then narrowed his eyes. 

I couldn't help but frown slightly at that. The truth really would have been the best policy... Was I really just like any other goblin, honest when I could, but a greedy, good-for-nothing liar when it came down to it...

Worst off, the officer seemed to notice this. "Something else you want to say?"

I shook my head, wincing in shame. 

Have I come all this way for nothing? I don't want to sell to any other nation around here... not the griffins, changelings, or wolves... they'd just use my tech for war... I'll have to go home...

However, fate smiled upon me that day. The officer was closely examining me, and though I knew that he knew that I had lied, for some reason, he seemed to let it slide. 

"Well then, I just need you to verify a few of the documents you sent and you'll be good to go!" he chirped cheerfully. 

My jaw nearly dropped the floor. "R-Really?!" I squeaked, my voice cracking.

"Mhmmm. I think your presence here will not only help Equestria, but perhaps..." He smiled slightly as he lay the paperwork before me. "It will help you as well."

And for the first time I can remember since I was a little goblinette, something strange happened to my eyes. I didn't know why, but water was actually filling them. Goblins had a name for this: weakness. But I didn't feel weak at the moment, I felt... 

Happy?

What is wrong with me?!

"T-Thank you so much!" I beamed, grabbing a quill nearby and eagerly began signing my signature. "Oh my gosh- I- I have no words. I just want to-"

At that, I leaned over the desk, and hugged him around the neck. 

Even I was shocked about this.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

In goblin society, such displays of emotion were usually reserved for the family and the family only. However, for some strange reason, it just felt.... right. Yet my mind was screaming at me that it was so very wrong.

"It's uh-" he said, blushing slightly. "My pleasure. And don't worry, you're not the first person to show a little emotion."

I frowned in sorrow. "A little? Y-You're just trying to make me feel better. I-I'm acting pathetic!" I croaked.

"No," he chuckled. "That's all in your head. Trust me: I've had people literally dance around the room, and even that isn't pathetic. Pathetic is just a word. In Equestria, nopony, goblin, whatever, is 'pathetic'."

Those last words would ring in my head the rest of my life, even if it would take me years to figure out what they truly meant.





"I'm so pathetic!" my changeling friend wept. We sat in the grass outside the immigration office, a beautiful, sunny sky almost mocking my unfortunate companion. "My life is over... I can't go back to the hive. I WON'T!"

"Shhh... it'll be alright," I said, patting him on the shoulder.

"N-No, it's not going to be alright!" he said, nearly choking on his words. "How could I so much of an idiot that I'd forget the exchange rate! A nugget only worth half a bit?! How does someone forget something like that!" 

Unfortunately, that poor thing didn't seem he was going to have the chance to feel good about himself, it seemed. It happened only minutes ago...





"Drone... 463?" the immigration officer called. 

"That's me!" he beamed. He smiled brightly, before passing me as he made his way to the office. "Hey, how did it go, by the way?" 

"I uh - got emotional," I said, figuring the traces of tears were probably lacing my eyes. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?"

"Of course not. Not everyone can be as tough as changelings," he grinned, quickly morphing into a very handsome stallion and puffing his chest out in an exaggerated way. 

My eyes widened in horror. 'OH NO! YOU WERE RIGHT! Now he thinks you're weirder than ever!'

"S-So there is something wrong with it?!" I gulped.

The changeling looked at me funny, morphing back to his true form. "Hey - no, it's fine. I'll probably be crying too, who wouldn't?"

"Oh," I whispered, nearly wanting to face-palm myself.

'Get. It. Together, you shut in... at this rate, nobody is going to want to hang out with-'

"Hey - if you're not in a hurry, would you mind waiting for me?" the changeling said, nearly causing my jaw to drop.

"Um-" I blinked. "Sure?"

It wasn't very often that people asked to hang out with me. The few 'friends' I had back in the Alliance were merely study-buddies or fellow inventors. Whenever I wanted to try something that was outside of my comfort zone, they were 'always busy' or 'something came up'. And normal goblins... seemed to be annoyed by me. However, this changeling, who I had only meant just a few minutes ago, wanted to hang out? Was he attracted to me? I'm not sure... I didn't think changelings physically could be. 

'Or maybe... he considers me kin.'

"Great! We can explore the borderlands together," the changeling smiled. "I have no idea where I'm going to settle down, so a look-around sounds cool to me. How about you?"

I blushed in embarrassment. "Heh - S-Same for me. I was going to find a library to research it a bi-"

"Pffft," he said, sticking his tongue out. "No offense, but why don't we try asking around?"

My pupils dilated at the prospect. "A-Ask around? Many random strangers?"

"I could do the talking if you want me to," he shrugged. "It's no big deal."

Wah? For Free?

I furrowed my brow. "How much would you want for the service?"

"Wah?" he asked, his face riddled with confusion.

"I could pay you five bits per person, assuming I can exchange my Gringot's Gold..."

He smiled slightly, lowering an eyebrow. "Uhhh... not sure if I want that..."

"I could pay you by the hour, then," I said, smiling slightly. "It'd be no big deal-"

"How about I do it for free?" he said, sticking his tongue out. "You can pay me with your company."

I gave him an incredulous look, shaking my head in disbelief. "You'd do it for... free?"

"Why not?"

I honestly didn't know what to do. Sure, goblins did give to charity occasionally but... this was different. And it was at that moment when I wished I realized that this changeling was worth a few bits, or perhaps more than any bits...





"So you have nowhere to go?" I said, trying to be as soothing as I could. Comforting people wasn't really my expertise... "No family back in changeling lands?"

"Changelings don't have families," he wept. "I mean - we are all born from the same queen... but does that count as family? Besides... I'd be a disgrace. Running off to Equestria like this?"

"You don't have to tell them where you went," I said, lowering my eyebrows.

He shook his head. "We're semi-hive minded. We honestly can't lie to each other. They'd ask me where I've been..."

I honestly couldn't believe what I had just heard. A society where nobody could lie to each other? If that were to happen in goblin lands there would be no business! No politicians! Nothing... I could wrack my brain for weeks trying to decide if any civilization could get by without one little white lie...

Something you shouldn't be doing, my mind hissed.

Speaking of dishonesty...

"Well uh-" I coughed. "This may kind of sound shady but- is there any way you could cross the Equestrian border without getting caught? In disguise?"

He quickly shook his head. "No, I've talked to a few other rogue changelings about this. They have patrols everywhere and are expecting changelings. The unicorns have these spells they use to reveal our true forms..."

At that, I was stumped, and it frustrated me like no tomorrow.

I never get stumped... there has go be a-

Suddenly, though I hated feeling it... the weight of the coins hanging from my belt seemed all the heavier. 

No! Nonononono! You said you wouldn't do this earlier! You need that money to start your business! To buy a house! To buy a dog or something!

It'd only be two hundred or so- the rational side of me argued.

IT'S YOUR MONEY! YOU EARNED IT! NO ONE ELSE DESERVES THAT MUCH OF IT! Give him enough money for travel, but that's it!

Naturally, my mind decided to quote the Gringot Rules of Acquisition. It seemed that my goblin instincts were starting to take over. I brought a claw to my head, rubbing it in dismay. If I gave up the coins the changeling needed, I wouldn't be able to afford a house, nor a decent market-place.

I then looked at the crying changeling, lying on the ground and sobbing.

Changeling? More like weakling... he'd never survive in any goblin city. Hell, he probably couldn't survive at home! That's why he left! He's different!

My eyes widened. He was... different. I had to do something. I would never forgive myself if I gave up the money, but I couldn't just leave the poor thing to a miserable life... there must have been another way... something - anything. 

Now, in my defense, I wasn't exactly in rational state-of-mind when I glanced at my Crab Walker, with all its little storage compartments ready to be used... nor when I glanced at the changeling, who theoretically should have been able to morph his body into anything...

Third option is best option.

With that, I took a deep breath, narrowed my eyes in determination, and knelt down next to Drone-463.

"Hey... I have a question for you..."

"..." He didn't respond right away: he just looked up at me with his poor, pitiful eyes. 

"Can you possibly... change into something much smaller than you are now?" I asked.

"Well.... yeah," he said, blinking slightly. "I can shrink to about one-fourth my height if I really concentrate." His eyes then widened. "Wait... you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you? You can't just go around carrying me in your pocket! It- it isn't right. And how could I get a job without papers?"

"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "But it's better than the alternative." I then smiled slightly, gesturing towards my Crab-Walker. "Besides... I wouldn't be carrying you around in my pocket - I'd be carrying you around in my glove compartment! You'll be fine."

I could tell by the look on his face that he was actually starting to consider it. If he did, I'd have purchased my very first friend for free!

I offered him hand to help him back onto his feet. "So, what do you say?"





Two minutes later, I bounced and bounced as my Crab-Walker worked its way across the rugged terrain of Western Equestria, away from a beautiful, setting sun. I wasn't alone, however: inside one of my compartments was a six-inch tall changeling.
	
	
	

	

	

	
	
	
> Chapter III - Where the Heart May Lie (I)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	It was around midnight when it finally hit me: I was in Equestria. I had made it. Yet I had just done something utterly illegal that could very well get me kicked out if I was caught. I wasn't sure what to blame: my greed, or my sudden surge of emotion. But whatever it was, I needed to put it out of my head for now. 

The rocky terrain of the western borderlands was starting to give way to complete desert. Even with a beautiful moon hovering over us (one that seemed to be significantly brighter than I remembered at home: probably due to all the lighting), I still felt a shiver down my spine when I glanced at my surroundings. For all I knew, my changeling friend and I were all that there was for a thousand miles... and I had no idea where I was going. 

I had decided to stay off the beaten path for the sake of keeping my little secret safe; however, that was now coming to bite me in the butt. Nevertheless, I had to keep optimistic. I still had a spare tank of sunflower oil for my walker's combustion engine, and I knew that if I kept heading east eventually I'd find the more fertile lands of this nation eventually.

All your geeking out and reading about Equestria might have been worth it after all!

I had checked up on my changeling companion occasionally, but he seemed to be ignoring me for the most part. I guess I couldn't blame him: I had convinced him to do something stupid when he was in an emotional state. 

Come on... it's not like every job in Equestria will be checking papers. That's probably just a government job. This place is supposed to be a Utopia, after all!

I smiled to myself slightly. I hadn't seen any border patrol guards yet, perhaps it was safe to let him out?

I opened the compartment, staring down at the tiny figure laying at the bottom of it.

"Hey..." I said. "How are you holding up?"

He glanced up at me with a blank expression. "Alright, I guess... I'm feeling a little hungry, that's all."

"I have plenty of food," I shrugged. "What do changelings eat, anyway?"

He blinked, glancing away from me. 

I threw him a look. "What's up?"

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," he muttered.

I blinked, putting on a guilty frown. "S-Sorry, if this is about earlier - I'm not skeptical about everything..."

"No, it's alright," he sighed. "It's just - no science can explain how my food source works. It just... happens. I don't feed off plants, animals, or even weird stuff like gems. I feed on something much stranger."

"Errr," I gulped, the worst case scenario playing through my mind. My stomach churned at the thought. He was technically a bug... and bugs had... some strange dining habits. "It's nothing like - really nasty right?" I asked hopefully. "I mean- not that there's anything wrong with that, heh."

"No, it's nothing gross: just weird - mystical even. I feed on a particular emotion," he sighed. "A concept, even." He then actually smiled slightly. "I feed on love."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "By love - do you mean... like certain pheromones or chemicals released by the body when that emotion is felt?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But it's weird - I can actually see love floating through the air. Love towards me is more delicious, yet stray love... isn't as filling. I can even forcefully extract it if I need to..."

I shook my head incredulously. This sounded too strange to be true. How could one feed on something that was supposed to stay within?

It must have to do to do with some sort of special ability, such as what unicorns have. Though how evolution would give them a route like this was... something to ponder. Still, taking this changeling was definitely a worthy investment! I could make a huge profit if I can somehow artificially create what they feed on! It'd probably be much easier than the alternative-

Then, it hit me like a brick. My ponderous smile twisted into a guilty frown.

Yet... he says he's hungry now?

It was right then when I realized how little I knew about my travelling companion. I felt sympathy for him earlier, and viewed him as a means to an end (a friend, you could say), yet... that wasn't what he needed.

The changeling glanced at me curiously. "Something wrong?"

"It's... nothing," I whispered., closing my eyes. "It's just - I'd like to say that I'm sorry."

He glanced downward, taking a deep breath. "It's alright. I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder. In fact - I'm starting to have trouble remembering what I was mad at you about. I guess I'm just going a little stir crazy in here..."

I put on a sheepish grin, trying my best to think of something to cheer him up. "Well hey- look on the bright side."

He raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"You look totally cute pint-sized!" I peeped. 

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, I guess..."

"H-Heh, sorry," I chuckled nervously. "Just trying to lighten the mood. Seriously though, it might be safe for you to come out soon - I think we're about thirty miles in. I don't think we're going to get stopped-"

"Attention: unknown vehicle. Please halt for inspection!"

Nope.

I winced slightly, grinning sheepishly at the now-smirking changeling as I quietly closed the compartment. When I glanced up, I found three sets of glowing eyes looking at me from the darkness. 

MONSTERS!

"EEP!" I cried, scrunching against the back of my seat. "Please - I don't have much and probably taste bad! Stay back!"

There were a series of groans, as three, strange, bat-winged pegasi stepped into my headlights, their eyes glowing a bright yellow. 

"Ugh... relax," one of them groaned, a definite male. "We're just night-guards. We're not bandits, monsters, demons, chupacabra, blah blah blah, you get it."

"You gotta admit, though," another said, another male. "We do look kind of creepy with the glowing eyes and stuff."

The third grinned, a female. "Dawwww, but you can't say it is kind of funny! The looks on people's faces are hilarious! 'OOOH NO, MONSTERS!'"

"Yeah, the first three nights we started doing this, maybe," the first muttered, most likely the leader: he was the only one wearing black armor. He then finally turned his attention to me. "Sorry about that, it's just we've had to chase three travelers down when they ran from us tonight. Thanks for being more calm, I guess."

"Y-You're welcome," I gulped, still glancing at the trio nervously. "Um - but yes - I'm new around here. If you don't mind me asking, um - what exactly... are you? You don't look like normal pegasi." My eyes widened. "I mean - not that you're weird or anything! Normal is a matter of perspective-"

The trio let loose a chuckle. "Easy, miss. It's alright. Not many ponies know about us. We only come out deep into the night."

"TOOO FEEEASST OONNNN SOULS!" the girl bat-pony grinned.

I squeaked slightly at that, shivering. 

"Well... the souls of berries and stuff, I guess," she said, smiling apologetically. She then turned towards one of her partners. "Wait - berries have souls, right, Shadow Sentry?"

"Maybe berry bushes," the male shrugged. "I dunno about individual berries. That'd be like saying an arm has a soul or something. They're just part of the plant."

Her eyes widened as if a lightbulb were popping above her head. "Woooooaaaah - what if they DO! Like - if I lose an arm, there could be an arm soul floating up to the gates!" 

"Oh my gosh! Sometimes I think you should be a spiritual scientist or something!" the male guard beamed. "Or write a book! Your ideas are so wild!"

The leader... facepalmed. "Have you two been smoking the Red Weed we confiscated?" he groaned.

The two quickly shook their heads. 

"R-Red Weed?" I asked. 

"Mhmmm, that's what we're looking for, mainly," he nodded, turning back towards me. "It's an invasive species native to Ares. The refugees from there brought some with them: and then someone decided - 'hey, what would happen if I smoked this alien stuff?' And yeah... you can guess what happened next. It's illegal in Equestria, so a lot of drug runners come through these parts." He then chuckled slightly. "Though I've never seen a goblin smuggle anything, before. Haven't seen one of your kind in Equestria for a minute..."

"I-I'm not smuggling Red Weed!" I cried. 

"Easy there - I'm not accusing you of anything." He then furrowed his brow. "Just need to check your- your- what the heck is that thing, anyway?"

"It looks like a crab!" the female guard beamed. 

"Very observant, Moon Dancer..." the leader sighed. 

"Well um - it's kind of my own invention," I said, smiling slightly. "I call it the Crab-Like Locomotive Device."

"A wah?" Shadow Sentry blinked. "That's kind of a weird name, no offense. Why not just call it..." He tapped his forehead. "Mmmm... call it-"

"A Crab Walker!" Moon Dancer beamed, fluttering in the air slightly.

I winced at that. Son of a Gnarm...

"Woah - nice name!" Shadow Sentry grinned, before glancing at me. "Are you like- an inventor or something? Cus if you are, you should totally go into business with my friend here!"

"You make stuff, I'll name it," she smiled brightly.

I shot her an amused smile. "I'll uh- heh - keep that in mind."

The leader rolled his eyes. "Alright, come on - let's not waste any more of the lady's time." He then furrowed his brow my way, before stating in a bored tone: "If you have any weaponry, illegal drugs, illegal immigrants, forged documents, counterfeit bits, illegal magic artifacts and texts, or tombs specifically directed towards summoning demons, windigo, or felhounds, please state so now..."

I shivered slightly, wincing, and I knew they saw this. They had no flashlights or anything on them: they could probably see very well in the dark when they needed to... For that brief second, I hoped my headlights were giving them a hard time seeing, but if they were, why were they standing in them?

The lead-guard raised a suspicion eyebrow, though quickly withdrew it. "If you could exit the vehicle miss and empty your pockets," he said, a neutral expression now on him.

"Um - yeah," I giggled sheepishly. "Sorry... I'm coming."

So I stepped off the mecha, and began to do just that. Luckily, I really wasn't carrying anything illegal, save for blueprints, and I left my theoretical doomsday doomsday device ones (not that I'd ever build them: I just thought of them for fun) at home. However, there was one small little problem in my glove compartment...

After I emptied my pockets, the guards didn't even bother to search me further. I supposed, being bat-like and all, they were using some form of echo-location? I'm not sure. Or perhaps they just felt I seemed trustworthy - I guess they didn't know much about goblins.

And now you're going to shatter the trust Equestria gave you...

"What are these?" Shadow Sentry asked, glancing at the pile of blueprints. 

"Oh um -" I squeaked. "Blueprints. The top one is for a new type of internal combustion engine, the other for a special component for circuit breakers-"

Shadow Sentry and Moon Dancer glanced at each other, raising their eye brows.

I giggled nervously. "Oh um - it's goblin-like technology. The combustion engine is what propels my crab-walker. The circuit breaker helps keep power chords from overloading electronics-"

"I have no idea what the second one means, but it sounds awesome!" Moon Dancer grinned. "Are you sure you don't need my naming skills?!"

"Heh," I said, rubbing a claw through my hair. "Well um - I'm sure you'd be good at it, but I don't have the money to pay you-"

"Oh, relax," she giggled. "I'm just playing with you. Thanks for being nice, though. What's your name?"

"Um - Tinker Gearclank," I smiled, holding out a claw. She glanced at it for a second, before shaking it. "Nice to meet you?"

She's thinking you're awkward she's thinking you're awkward she's thinking you're awkward...

"Tinker Gearclank?" she said, nodding. "Hah! That sound soooo...."

"Inventorish?" Shadow Sentry shrugged.

"Yeah!" 

"That's not a word..." the leader groaned, currently busy searching through every nook and crevice of my walker... and he was quickly growing near where I didn't want him to. "And can one of you slackers get over here and help me?"

"I will," Shadow Sentry sighed. "Sorry, Sergeant Necrospear..."

He fluttered his wings, before landing upon the walker.

"Um - where have you already searched?" he asked. 

"Right side."

"Your right or-"

"Your right..." 

They continued searching, as Moon Dancer knelt down and began looking at my blueprints. "Woah... these look so, um- what's the word? Intricate!"

"T-Thanks," I squeaked, sweating bullets as they continued their sweep.

After a while, I was beginning to think they had missed my changeling friend's compartment. I sighed in relief at this, though Moon Walker seemed to be too intrigued by my blueprints to notice. That was until:

"Hey sarge?"

"What?"

"Have you searched this compartment yet?" Shadow Sentry pointed towards it.

My eyes widened in horror. My throat clenched up.

This is it! This is it - You are so screwed. How are you going to face your family after you just stormed off like you did?! That is if you aren't thrown in jail for harboring an illegal immigrant...

"Eeeeep!" Moon Dancer suddenly squealed. 

Her fellow guards turned towards her, raising eyebrows. "What is it?"

She was glancing at something in the distance, but whatever it was, it had disappeared. 

"T-Thought I saw somethng," she peeped, shaking her head. "Looked like a Felhound. God I hate the desert: even at night!"

"You probably just saw a fox or something," the leader shrugged, before glancing back at Shadow Sentry. "Hey, what did you just ask me, again?"

He furrowed his brow in thought, before wincing in confusion. "Um - I can't remember."

I blinked in disbelief, taking deep breaths. Had fate given me a few free points?

"Oh right," the sergeant nodded. "The compartment? No, I haven't checked. Just give it a look-through."

"Righto," he nodded.

Yeah... you're still screwed.

I began panting, though Moon Dancer was now gazing off into the distance.

Finally, after I had nearly chewed my claws down to the skin, Shadow Sentry announced: "Well well well - what do we have here?" 	

The sergeant raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Find something?"

My heart dropped, and I closed my eyes, waiting for his shameful words to come.

"- Yeah, the biggest friggin' spider I've ever seen! Make that the two biggest spiders I've ever seen!"

My jaw nearly hit the floor. I wish I had just thought it, but I couldn't control my voice as I blurted out: "What?!"

"Yeah, looks like you got a few stowaways, miss!?" Shadow Sentry laughed. "Hey sarge, want me to run a sonar sweep? Could be a changeling like last time!" 

He's only joking he's only joking he's only joking...

"Na, I think that was a one time deal," the sergeant shrugged.

And I let loose the deepest sigh of relief in the history of goblins. Thank you Gringot thank you Gringot thank you Gringot!.!.! I'll never misplace or accidentally set fire to your book again!

The two guards hopped off the Crab Walker, smiling brightly at me. I don't know why - but they seemed happy that they didn't have to bust anyone. Still, I made a vow that I would recite something from the Gringot's Book of Acquisition every morning for the rest of my life. 

"Whelp, you're all clear, miss," Necrospear nodded. "Sorry about the stop, and the long wait..."

Shadow Sentry smiled sheepishly, screwing a guilty hoof into the sand.

"Want us to take care of those spiders for you?" he asked. 

I quickly shook my head, a bit of sweat pooling on my forehead again. "Hehe, no, it's fine!"

"Huh - do you like keeping them as pets?" Moon Dancer asked. 

My mind went haywire. Whatever you do: do not tell them what you're thinking. Do NOT tell them what you're thinking!

"Well, eh - hehe," I chuckled nervously. "In uh- the Goblin Alliance... let's just say spiders make good... appetizers."

Ewww... friggin' weirdo...

The three raised their eyebrows. "Well uh-" one of them coughed. "Whatever floats your boat."

Necrospear gave me a nod. "Well, then, miss - we need to get going. Gotta check out that 'Felhound' that Moon Dancer here stated. But before we leave, do you need any assistance from us in any way?"

"Um - yeah!" I coughed. Fate really was smiling on me. "Can you point me to the nearest town?"

"Heh, you're actually heading towards it," Moon Dancer smiled, before pointing forward. "About two miles that way: you won't see it til you're right on top of it because of the dunes. The town is called Heatwave, but damn do they have an awesome night scene!" 

I smiled at her. "Thank you so much - I've been lost for miles..."

"Easy for that to happen out here," Sergeant Necrospear nodded, before turning to his subordinates. "Alright, then, Sandstorm Squadron, let's get a move on!"

"By the Will of the Night, Sir!"

"Now that is professionalism!" he grinned, before narrowing his eyes. "Let's hunt us some beastie."

And he took off into the night, the two others in tow.

"Finally some action!"

"See you Tinker!" 

"Bye!" I waved.

Did they actually.... like me? They seemed so... cool, though. How the heck could they?

At that, I walked over to the Crab Walker, opening the compartment with the little changeling in it. However, all I saw were two spiders...

"Hey um- are you there?" I called.

Suddenly, there was a flash of green light, and one of the spiders became a changeling.

"Woah!" I cried. 

"Heh, sorry -" he said, smiling cheerfully. His mood had apparently completely turned around from earlier.

He's not angry at me anymore?

"As weird as it sounds: insects are one of the hardest things to morph into. You really need a reference to do it for long. Luckily, I've been chillin' with my friend I found in here."

"You're- you're friends with that spider?" I blinked, surprised that he hadn't been eaten by it.

The changeling nodded. "Yeah, she's pretty cool. Changelings can talk to insects pretty easily, you see."

The spider actually made a few clicks, as I nearly 

"What's that?" the changeling asked, before glancing up at me and raising an eyebrow. "Though uh - could you stop looking at her like that? It's kind of freaking her out."

I held back the temptation to lick my lips, a disappointed look coming upon me. You just had to go make friends with my snack... how the heck does a spider even have the brainpower for sapient speech?!

I really needed to make a list of all the weird things I was discovering around here that needed explanations.

"But yeah - think it's safe for me to come out, now?" he asked. 

I quickly nodded. "I think we're good. There's a town right up ahead! I don't think they'll bother doing random checks there."

"You're sure?" he said, lowering his eyebrows.

"Well uh- sorry, I didn't mean to ask you to take an unnecessary risk-"

He let loose a chuckle, before waving the spider goodbye, fluttering out, and swiftly growing to his normal size. "There you are being self-conscious again," he smiled, patting me on the back. "It's cool - seriously."

"W-What's that for?" I asked. 

His smile didn't falter. "Because you didn't give me up. You could of and you didn't, risking everything!" His look grew warmer and warmer... emotional - filled with gratitude. "You took a chance for me: I... I really appreciate it. Not many would stick up for changelings like that. Thank you."

I didn't know what to say at first, though as I started up the Walker, it finally came to me. Simple and sweet:

"You're-you're welcome."

Though most surprising thing of all came to me later, as I tread across the sea of dunes. 

It never even crossed my mind to give him up, did it?

And the guilt I had been feeling lessened.
	

	
	
> Chapter IV - Where the Heart May Lie (II)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	My mood had bounced back to optimistic as we entered Heatwave. It was a small little place, tucked away in the dunes, and as it was for me: invisible to everyone who wasn't looking for it. It was mainly composed of a number of one-story wooden shacks, with a few stone buildings scattered here or there. However, no matter how crude it was: it was still civilization, even if there seemed to be nopony around to call it home.

"I wonder where everyone is," my changeling friend mused. "You'd think there'd be someone up this late."

I shrugged slightly. "They probably make sure to get their rest in the dark. It's pretty cool out right now."

"Good point," he nodded. 

However, my point seemed to be dis-proven a second later as we entered the middle of town. One of the stone buildings' lights were still on, and a commotion could be heard coming from inside. A sign swung next to the door labelled: The Sandy Tavern.

Save for the bar, of course...

"Huh... check this out," my changeling companion called, pointing towards a piece of paper hanging on the door. On it was a crude mugshot of a wicked looking, tan unicorn. Below it read: Name: Dirty Sand. Wanted for Murder - Bit Reward: 20,000.

The changeling raised an eyebrow, smirking, before turning towards me. "You don't happen to invent weapons, do you?"

I blushed fiercely. "W-Weapons?! Of course not! I don't seem violent to you, do I-" 

The changeling gave me a blank look.

I winced. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

The changeling nodded, smiling sympathetically. "Yeah, but you're getting better. Don't worry about it too much, though - nobody is going to judge you for it.."

He's just saying that to be nice. I feel like a total whackjob when I'm around people...

"Still though," the changeling mused, bringing a hole-filled hoof to his chin. "A murderer in Equestria? I didn't think ponies were even capable of it outside wars and stuff."

I shook my head in disbelief. 

How could there be any murderers here? Equestria is supposed to be a utopia. Most only kill because they're too stressed to think and are giving into emotion...

...

My eyes widened.

Unless... he's different, too: but not in a good way... something's broken inside.

I shivered slightly. "Well - I just hope he's far away from-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" a voice suddenly rang from inside.

The changeling smirked at me. "If my memory isn't on the fritz again: it seems like you have a bad habit of tempting fate."

You really do...

I took a deep breath. "Well - we don't know it's him. Let's just stay out of the-"

Suddenly, the double-doors of the salloon swung open, and to my 'EEEEEEP', out flew-

"Dirty Sand!"  I screeched, instinctively backing away... right into the side of a carriage. 

With a THUMP, the supposed murderer landed only two feet away from my boots. He was just how he looked in the picture: a unicorn with a brownish mane and and a sombrero.

"Deeja, do something!" I called. 

"Wah?!" the changeling coughed. 

"I gotta call you something: and calling you drone just sounds demeaning so I hope you don't mind me-"

"Not that!" he groaned. "What do you want me to do?!"

Suddenly, there were a few heavy footfalls, as Dirty Sand twisted about, glaring towards the entrance of the bar. The two doors creaked open slowly... menacingly, and there stood a fearsome sight: the shadow of a nearly seven foot tall creature, three feet taller than myself, with horns protruding from his head.

I scrunched against the carriage, more horrified by the sight of him than the murderer, until he stepped out of the shadows. 

"Alright, scumbag! You've run far enough! You've put up a good chase, but nobody escapes the keen eyes and ears of HUNTER WILL!"

To my surprise, he turned out to be a minotaur. One wearing quite the extravagant outfit: a red cape and a sombrero himself. He held a cocky, cheesy grin on his face, and a crossbow in his hands, and around his neck swung a strange, glowing necklace...

"Stay away from me, you freak!" Dirty Sand screeched. 

He merely grunted, slowly approaching him. "From the Frozen North, to the Desert's Blight, no quarry shall evade my might! For generations out the Will have done what's right! And I AM HUNTER WILL, NOW GIVE ME A FIGHT!"

Deeja nodded slowly, blinking in disbelief. "Wow..."

"Take off that necklace of yours and I'll give you a quick one," the criminal hissed. 

Hunter Will shot him an incredulous look. "Do you take Hunter Will for a fool?!"

The criminal seemed to think to himself for a second, before nodding. "Well - sort of..."

"HAH! THEN YOU HAVE CLEARLY UNDERESTIMATED MY SKILL!"

"And you never seemed to learn the lesson called: 'know your enemy.'" he said, narrowing his eyes. Suddenly, his horn began to sparkle and crackle as he glanced at me with hideous, green eyes. 

"Magic won't work against me!" the minotaur gasped. "What do you think you're trying to do?!"

"It isn't for you, dumbass," he hissed, and suddenly, I found myself being levitated into the air, a green aura of magic wrapping around my neck. I wanted to scream, but all that came out were small gasps as the aura grasped tighter and tighter. Dirty Sand then narrowed his eyes. "Now, put that crossbow down or I snap the pretty goblin's neck."

"What are you doing?!" Deeja cried. "We're not part of this! Put her down!"

"You try anything and I'll have you dig her grave," Dirty Sand growled. "I don't want to kill her, but I will!" 

"And HUNTER WILL won't let you!" the minotaur growled. 

Dirty Sand shook his head, chuckling. "You have only one way out of this and you know it. You could try to rush me, which would result in her death. You could get help, which would result in her death...." He then grinned wickedly. "Or you could shoot me, which might just result in mine."

To my surprise, the minotaur actually gulped. "I-I could aim for your legs..."

"And crossbows are inaccurate," he smiled. "It might just hit somewhere that hurts. I know about you, Hunter Will, you've been chasing me for months, and I gotta say: for a bounty hunter named 'Hunter', you really never seem to like shooting anyone, do you?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Hunter Will isn't afraid of anything! Sometimes doing what's right means getting rid of those who do wrong!"

"Keep telling yourself that," he smirked, before actually beginning to walk away, keeping me in tow. "Now, do me a favor and don't follow me. I'll drop her off on the edge of town and be on my way, savvy?"

The hunter merely stared at him blankly: a shameful look upon him. 

"Glad we've come to an agreement," the bandit grinned. 

I found myself floating behind him, his grip slowly loosening around my neck. However, before he walked too far, he turned towards the minotaur, narrowing his eyes. "Oh, and 'Hunter'. Don't think this is the last time we'll meet. You've been a pain in my flank for nearly seventy moons now. You got lucky you decided to wear that necklace of yours tonight, or you'd be dead. However, I'm done being the hunted. Now, it's my turn. You've bucked with the wrong person, minotaur, so I'd suggest that from now on, wherever you sleep: keep one eye open." He then grinned at him. "Oh, and when I decide to give payback, it's always double-fold. What's your brother's name again? Iron?"

Hunter Will gasped in horror. "Don't you dare-"

"Hehehe... we're going to see just how well he lives up to his name, understand? I'll be seein' ya, both of ya..."

Hunter Will gave a snarl, before throwing down his crossbow and charging forward. "I DON'T NEED A CROSSBOW!.!.! HUNTER WILL WILL BREAK YOU WITH HIS BARE HANNNNNDS!.!.!"	 

I tried to shake my head, but couldn't. Oh no! NONONO! He's going to-

However, it never came. The snapping of my neck - the fade to black. Instead, I was merely twirled around by Dirty Sand, who tilted his hat. "Sorry bout the scare, miss - just had to keep that idiot occupied while I moved to a safer place. Now that I am: no need for a twisted neck."

Suddenly, his grip loosened, and I plopped down on my butt. 

"Besides, killin' a pretty little thing like you would be a waste." he winked, looking me over, and I felt a significant urge to take shower. "But god damn, don't sell yourself short by dating that changeling. Now keep out of trouble, alright?"

Then, with a blink of green light, and he disappeared. Hunter Will charged right into where he had dissipated, swinging fists at nothing, before finally realizing what had happened. He took a few deep breaths, before finally slumping down on his knees, throwing two fists into the ground. 

"Damnit..."

	

	

	

	
	
	

	
	
	
> Chapter V - Where the Heart May Lie (III)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I was still shivering from that hectic event as I made my way into the tavern, being comforted all the way by Deeja. 

"Hey... it's nothing to worry about. He wouldn't have killed you. He was just bluffing."

I shook my head, unable to find words to speak. I honestly could have died right then. Sure, I've had close calls before, but this was the first time when it had just happened out of the blue. The streets of Goldshire, the Goblin Alliance's capital city were littered with places everyone knew not to go into. Though sometimes, I would anyway, and on a blue moon I'd pay the price. I had to give up quite a few Gringot Gold pieces to satisfy those goblins who took... alternative routes to acquisition. Still: then, I had control. However, this time...

Honest to god, I couldn't wrap my mind around it. 

I settled down at one of the bar tables, as Deeja friend bought the two of us drinks. (Turns out they took any type of gold they could get.) 

He smiled at me. "Sooo.... Deeja? Never heard of that before."

I was grateful he was simply trying to change the conversation instead of talking about what happened. So I cracked a smile, and went along with it.

"Well uh-" I said, blushing slightly. "It means 'Nice Guy' in our older language. It's long dead, but I know a few words. Um - I hope you don't mind the name..."

He blinked, quirking his head curiously.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I could think of a new one - or why don't you think of one? It's your name-"

"Nono," he smiled, reaffirming his name. "I'm kind of flattered, really." He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. "I'm uh... just not used to accepting compliments."

"Well it's the truth!" I said, smiling slightly, as another goblin, of all chance, delivered our drinks, paying me no particular heed. "Thanks for the drinks, by the way..."

"No problem," he shrugged, before giving me a sheepish look. "Well uh- to be honest, it's kind of to um... 'soften you up'..."

My eyes widened. Does he want to do what I think he wants to- I mean, he's a nice guy and all, but uh... not sure I'm ready for-"

"Errrr," I coughed. "Soften me up for what?"

"Heh, just a question," he said innocently. 

An awkward, embarrassed grin spread upon my face. "Uhhhhh... look, Deeja, you're a nice guy and all, but it'd just be weird if we-"

"Tried to be housemates?" he said.

I nearly flattened my head against the table. How could I think he'd want to -

He shot me a grin. "What do you think I was trying to ask you?"

I blushed fiercely, shaking my head. "Er, nothing!" I coughed. "I mean - not that I'd - I'm not really - I don't do that kind of thing!" 

"Calm down," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not trying to take advantage of you. If I wanted some... relaxation, there's plenty other ways I could get it without breaking your trust, not that I would."

I sighed in relief, smiling warmly. "Well in that case... you've been with me since the start, so why not?"

His eyes widened in delight, and for the first time, he looked like he was ready to bounce in joy. "Really?! That'd be so awesome! I figure since you're trying to set up a store, if me, you and maybe one or two others bought a nice, decent sized house, you would have even more money to set up shop and stuff!"

I gave him an impressed look. I never thought of that... I guess he's had more time than I have to do so. This could actually work out nicely... plus, leaving him all alone after smuggling into the country just seemed.... wrong. He was actually.... fun to be around, and really did live up to his new name. Plus, he knew a lot of things I didn't... like how to socialize easily, for one thing...

"One thing, though," he said, smirking. 

"Sure," I shrugged. 

"I call basement!" he grinned. "And the rights to make a small tunnel system, so long as I don't violate any laws!"

I blinked in confusion.

"What?" he shrugged. "I gotta have somewhere to set up a private nest."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes. "Whatever works for you, I suppose."

"Excellent," he grinned. "It's going to be awesome! We could totally have wild, creepy parties down there or something. Ooooo, have you heard about Nightmare Night?"

"Nightmare... wah?" I said, lowering my eyebrows.

What kind of night would be devoted to nightmares? How would you even do something like that? Eat spicy foods before bed?

"Well um - if you don't mind me saying, we still need to find a place to settle down first," I peeped. "I mean - where are you looking to live? A city? Town? Village? Out in the country?"

I prayed to god it'd be a city...

"Either a town or a village, I guess. Nothing too big, but nothing too small. Just a nice little place to settle down for my better days."

Darn...

A town would have been nice, but I needed to be in the city. Inventions were signs of progress, and cities were where progress kept up the most. Towns were not like that: towns had a habit of staying stagnant. Staying what they were...

... Because perhaps the people living there had no need for change.

I frowned slightly. A town would have been nice and relaxing, a place for me to create and perhaps even test my new inventions in peace. Though a city would be where I'd sell the most... I could always live in a suburb, I supposed, but very few cities in Equestria had those, and they weren't the same as a town surrounded by shrubs and fresh air.

"A place with fresh air," I sighed. 

"Huh?"

I chuckled slightly, though sorrowfully. "The Industrial Revolution, as we call it, has come to most goblin cities. I remember how it was before then: the air was fresh and brisk, so clean, and the stars shined bright above. It isn't like that anymore... too many lights: too much smog choking the air. 

"That sucks," he said, frowning. "I feel you though: the hive was kind of like that. Very claustrophobic to some. I never really minded it that much..."

"Huh... it'd be interesting to visit, but not to stay..."

"I take you it don't want to live in another city, either?" the changeling asked, smiling hopefully. 

"I have to, though - I need a place to sell my inventions easily and practically."

"Well, what if you lived in a town not too far from a major city," Deeja suggested.

I blinked, glancing at him in confusion. "Where could you find a town like that, though? I didn't find any on the map I examined. There was one near Canterloot... Canter- ugh, I can't remember the name of it-"

"Welcome to my world," the changeling smirked.

"But it's still too far away... and the ponies don't have any fast transit, system, do they?"

"I think I know what town you're talking about," the changeling said, nodding. "And Equestria actually does have a railroad."

My eyes widened as I chastised myself. That's what I get for reading decades old books... perhaps this country isn't as primitive as I thought...

"What's it called?" I asked.

Deeja paused for a second, wracking his brains. "Ugh, I know this one... I think the town is called-" He squinted in thought. "Is called..."

"Ponyville."

I wasn't the one who had answered him, however. It came from a nearby table. There sat Hunter Will, who hadn't said a word to us since he sat down and began drinking a tankard of 'Minaton Ale'. He wasn't speaking to us, though.

"Mmmm, that's where your brother lives?" the goblin said, scratching his head. 

"Yeah," Hunter sighed. "DS is going to get there long before I do... my brother could take him in a straight fight, but if he starts using magic, he's going to be in a world of hurt!"

"Well... shoot," the goblin sighed. "I wish there was something I could do to help you, friend, but there really isn't really any quick way to get there from here... you'd need a Skim or something, but those are rare..."

"It's alright," he muttered. "I've already accepted the fact my brother is screwed because of me. The only thing you can do to help me is to get me another tub of ale..."

Dollar signs practically flashed in the goblin's eyes. "Comin' right up! If life gives you lemons, make hard lemonade! That's what I always say."

"Good man," he grunted, before continuing to drink.

Deeja frowned at the conversation, before turning back to me. "Poor guy... that Dirty Sand is one nasty piece of work to go and target his brother for no reason."

"He's a sociopath," I muttered. "He has no emotions... no feelings..."

No love and only cares about himself?

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Perhaps we weren't as different as it seemed.... 

No, no don't start thinking that! You felt sorry for the changeling, didn't you? You comforted him! You may not feel love for your friend yet, but you do feel empathy - don't let the stigmas about goblins get to your head!

"I wish there was something to do to help..." he said, before smiling slightly to himself. "Ponyville is the place I was thinking about. It's tucked away in the mountains and before this big honking forest where a lot of my people hide out. It's only maybe an hour away to Canterlot by train."

My eyes widened. This place sounds almost absolutely perfect!

My mind began to race with the possibilities. Canterlot - Canterlot was the capital city of Equestria! If there was any place where progress bloomed, it would be there! I could bring an industrial revolution of my own to the place, and get rich while-

I sagged into my chair, sorrowfully. Would I want to, though? Think of what industrialization has done to the Alliance...

Yet the ponies were different, weren't they? They cared about the environment: cared about happiness and not just greed. They wouldn't be as irresponsible as us, would they? 

I shrugged the thoughts off: now was not the time for second guessing myself. From now on, every decision I would make would be the right one!

"Know anything else about it?" I asked. 

The changeling shrugged. "Not too much..." He then smiled slightly. "But I bet Hunter would."

His name seemed to got his attention. He perked an eye our way. 

"Normally, Hunter Will would be upset about people talking behind his back... hehe... literally... But today: talk all the trash you want," he slurred, obviously somewhat tipsy. "I deserve it - I nearly got your friend killed."

Deeja blinked in surprise, before putting on an apologetic look, shaking his head. "Oh no- we weren't talking about you in a bad way. And what happened wasn't your fault."

He did charge Dirty Sand though... but I suppose I'd probably do the same.

"I uh-" she peeped. "I really appreciate what you did- really. And um... we'd like to help you if we could."

"Mph," he grunted, taking another swig of ale. "Hunter Will doesn't see anyway you two could help him. Dirty Sand can teleport, you two can't. It's as simple as that."

"No," Deeja said, grinning slightly. "But my friend here happens to be a genius inventor-"

I blushed fiercely, throwing him a look.

However, he ignored me, before continuing with: "And one of her inventions happens to be sitting right outside town."

"Bah," he scoffed, taking another swig. "What kind of machine could be his speed? Has your friend invented wings? Because Hunter Will weighs twenty times as her! Goblin machines aren't built for us mighty minotaurs!"

"He says I'm not fat!" I smiled.

"Yeah..." Deeja said, smirking sarcastically for some reason. "Pffft - if it were that easy, I could just fly myself and warn your brother, but this guy seemed like he was pretty advanced magically speaking - or am I wrong? I'm not the greatest flier, I'd tire before he did."

Hunter lifted an eyebrow. "You have some pretty good intuition for a changeling..."

I coughed, throwing the subject off the somewhat-racist remark. "Alright... if you're interested, I have a machine that can travel about thirty kilometers an hour on sand: and even faster on more solid terrain."

"I don't know how well it'd fair with your 'muscle' weight, though," Deeja grunted, glaring at him slightly.

"Hunter Will is at the pique of physical performance, puny changeling!" he growled, before sitting up out of his seat.... and making his man-breasts bounce on their own. "The only question is: can the goblin's machine handle MY MAJESTY?! THESE MUSCLES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE WILL FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! STARE IN AWE AT THEM!"

Oh... my god. I'm not sure what's worse: that he's doing this or that... he looks somewhat gorgeous..  I then gritted my teeth. No! Don't fall for his tricks! Ignore the muscles! Ignore the finely toned muscles!

After a few seconds or so, Deeja sighed. "Ya done yet?"

"So long as my point as been proven!" he grinned. 

"Yeah..."

"Look," I interjected. "The two of us are going to be heading to Ponyville. And um - if you don't mind, we'd like to be leaving soon. This is your best bet at helping your brother, so do you want to take it or not?!"

Deeja raised his eyebrows. "Woah."

"I mean um -," I said, taking a deep breath and smiling sheepishly. "It'd be um - nice to have you and your - sculpted, I mean uh - nice looking, - I mean uh... your finely toned... YOUR PRESENCE - with us!"

"A swing and a miss," Deeja sighed. 

Hunter Will looked us over for a second, before taking another swig of rum and standing up. "Hunter Will is just drunk enough for this to work! He only asks that he gets to drive-"

"No!"

"Fine, then Hunter Will will assist in his expert navigation and keep you two safe from any harm! DEFENSIVE SKILLS HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE WILL FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! HOO-HA!"

Deeja finally had had it - his face hit the table. "This is going to be a long trip..."
> Chapter VI - Where the Heart May Lie (IV)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	By the time we were were all ready and packed, it must have been around three in the morning. However, the sun was nowhere in sight: only the wind-whipped desert sands. Hunter Will was strangely quiet for most of the trip: perhaps sobering up was bringing his situation into the light.

I wish I could feel some empathy for him. I had never been that close to my two brothers, one older, and one younger. Both had left home as soon as they could, one venturing into the world of stock brokering, and the other venturing to the very edges of the world. Each felt equally as distant as the next. The last I had heard from one of them was a year before I left, and the other had no means of contacting us.

To pass the time, me and Deeja made occasional conversation. He didn't seem to like talking much about his past, though he did go into occasional detail about his home...

"Yeah, the Changeling Kingdom isn't really much of a 'Kingdom'. The last 'King' died off years ago. It's more of a matriarchy since Chrysalis took control. Or should I say... Queen Chrysalis," he muttered. 

"Mmmmm - I heard about her attack on Canterlot..." I said.

"Yeah, that wasn't fun," he grunted. 

I raised my eyebrows. "Wait - you were in it?!" I then coughed. "I mean - not that you wouldn't be. I'm sure you're a capable warrior and-"

He gave me a blank look. 

"Shutting up," I squeaked. 

However, he soon shot me a smirk. "It's alright, really," he comforted me, before clearing his throat. "But yeah - I was there. I wish I wasn't but I was. A lot of my people were opposed to the attack, but when we're near the queen, her directives kind of - um - what's that one word - that means like..."

I blinked.

"Oh yeah - override!" he beamed. "Her directives kind of overwhelm our free will. Only King class changelings can resist it. It- it wasn't like that before Chrysalis started hatching us... at least I don't think it was. Our history is kind of fuzzy, even without my crappy memory."

I glanced at him sympathetically. I wonder what it would be like - having your free will just stolen to you for 'your own good', I suppose it was.

"What was it like - the Battle of Canterlot?" I asked. "If you don't mind me saying..."

He sighed, glancing away from me. "It wasn't much of a battle. Two punches were thrown - we were first. We took them completely by surprise. The Royal Guard were completely overwhelmed: I don't think they were prepared for fighting changelings." He then winced. "I'd rather not talk about this anymore..."

"Mph," Hunter Will finally spoke, glancing at the two of us. "Hunter Will was in Canterlot with his brother when that happened. He was allowed to bring a guest to the wedding: this one pony named Fluttershy invited him. When they starting coming down, Hunter and my brother single-handedly helped keep the underbelly of the city clear: where many civilians were hiding. It was one hell of a fight!"

He slapped Deeja on the back, causing him to wince.

"You changelings are tricky little bastards: cowardly, even, in a way - but that made it even more fun!" 

"Yeah," he muttered. "Fun..."

"I got a bit too caught up in the fight, though," Hunter sighed. "One of the changelings eventually got passed - and..." He winced. "After that, it... wasn't so fun."

A beat. Silence hung in the air for a second.

"Never learned her name," Hunter sighed. 

"W-Who's name?" I asked.

Hunter gave a grunt. "Nopony - just this old mare. A changeling really messed her day up... went out of control when feeding on her... First time I've ever had the thought of killing something..."

Deeja's shifted in his seat uncomfortably at that, though it seemed to go unnoticed by Hunter.

I furrowed my brown, shaking my head. No, it couldn't have been... there's no way he'd do something like that... he's probably just uncomfortable about what his kin did.

"Sorry to hear that," I gulped. 

He shrugged. "It was over a year ago. There's nothing I could have done. I lied earlier: I'm not that great at keeping people safe, just bashing skulls..."

"Hey-," Deeja said, patting him on his furry back. "I'm sure bashing skulls helps keep people safe too, right?"

"Mph," he grunted. "Not directly."

And naturally, at that, a sudden shriek came from the distant dunes. A shriek that sounded unnervingly familiar. 

Our eyes widened in horror.

"Woah!" Deeja gasped. "Did anyone catch where it came from?"

"Y-Yeah, I did," I nodded. "B-But, it's really not our business, is it?"

You damned coward... helping whoever this was out could lead to a reward!

"Come on, Tinker! We should check it out: make sure whoever it is is alright!" Deeja called.

Hunter shook his head at that. "You two really don't know what you got yourselves into, do you? Hunter knows the borderlands, and if there's one thing I've learned: never trust a shriek. Half the time it's just a bandit trap."

Alright, maybe cowardice is the right call once and a while...

I simpered at Deeja. "We can't afford to be robbed... I'm sorry, Deeja..."

Another shriek echoed from the distance... followed by a distinctive metallic CLANG!

Deeja glanced at the two of us with a sarcastic smirk. "Still think it's a trap?"

"The chances of it just went down," Hunter muttered, before slamming a fist into his palm. "Come on! Let's go rock someone's day!" 

"What about your brother, though?!" I gasped.

Like you're more concerned about him then your safety...

"It's what he would have wanted," the minatour nodded. 

Deeja smiled slightly at him. "You're alright, Hunter."

"Can't say the same until I've seen you fight," Hunter snorted. "Tricks won't work when there aren't a damned million of you."

Deeja sighed slightly. "Alright... I take it back, then." He then turned to me. "Come on, Tinker! Are we going or what?!"

I closed my eyes at that, my thinking cap online and powered. The shriek was close by, probably about five hundred meters... whoever it came from seemed to be putting up a fight. 

Screw it!

"Alright, let's go play the hero then," I sighed, before eeping slightly. "I mean - not that there's anything wrong with-"

"DRIVE!" Hunter snarled.

"Yes, sir," I squeaked, and with a few lever pulls we were in calvary-mode.

I sweated bullets as I listened for any signs that my walker was about to fall apart. I had never pushed it to emergency speeds before - not even in test runs. However, to my relief, it seemed to be alright.

After about only sixty seconds, we had dashed across two monstrous dunes, a faint green light now visible beyond. Then - we finally came upon it. 

Woah...

CLING! CLANG! CLASH!

The very same three guards earlier hissed and clashed with a monster twice their size. It was like a giant lizard from hell, with razor sharp teeth and two, long spiked talons hanging off its back. Like two snakes lashing out against pray, they clashed and clanged and sparked against the trio's weapons: a sword, an ax, and a interesting-looking spear with a glowing tip: held by Necrospear. They hovered in the air, holding them with their teeth (and Necro his hooves) and looking for any opening they could to score a hit. 

"Damn! A Felhound?!" Hunter grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Haven't seen one of them in years! Hunter's been waiting for a good fight!" He then glanced at Deeja. "Know any combat spells, changeling?"

"My name's Deeja," he muttered. "And yes - I know a stunning spell. I'd have to get close!"

CLANG! CRACK! 'AAAAUGHHHHH!.!.!'

As I gasped, one of the guards: Shadow Sentry was struck by a tendril in the wing. Like a wounded bird, he desperately began to flap, but was no opponent against gravity. The Felhound twisted towards him, snarling, before rushing forth, his maw gaping and ready for an easy meal-

Oh no oh no oh no!

I was biting my nails so much I was surprised I had any left.

"Stay away from him, you primordial prick!" Moon Dancer suddenly shouted, as both her and Necrospear landed in front of him. The Felhound let out a horrible howl, sending shivers down my spine, before rushing Moon Dancer with two talons...

"EEEEEEP!" she cried. One struck her chest plate, piercing it slightly but not puncturing, and the other her ax. Despite this, the force of this sent her careening into the sand, right next to Shadow Sentry. She let out another shriek as a feint cracking sound filled the air, coming from her front leg... "Sarge! Sarge - OOOOUCHIIIEEEE! CAN'T FLY! TOO MUCH PAIN!"

"Don't worry about it!" Necro shouted, sweat pouring down his face. "Move out of there: drag sentry if you can!"

At that, he twirled his spear, narrowing his eyes as the drooling beast before him. "Come at me, spawn of Tartarus!" 

The beast did just that: charging towards him...

"Alright then! We've got the tactics down!" Hunter cackled. "Meat's on the menu tonight!"

At that, he leaped off my Crab Walker, before charging forth towards the Felhound, knocking a bolt into his crossbow as he thundered along.

"I-I don't eat meat," Deeja gulped, shivering as he turned at me. "Does this thing have any sort of weapons?"

"What?! No!" I cried. "I'd never get it passed the border if I did!" 

I then raised an eyebrow. However... it may not be completely useless...

"Hang tight!" I grinned, before pushing two levers forward.

Deeja blinked. "W-Wah - WOAH!"

I rocketed down the slope of the dune towards the two downed guards, narrowing my eyes all the way.

I bet I look like a total badass right now!

"Woah! Where the heck did you come?!" Moon Dancer called, an exasperated expression on her. "By the way, you look like a total badass right now!"

YES!

"Ehehehe! Thanks!" I bounced, before trying my best to put on a serious expression. "Er - right - life or death situation, sorry. Deeja!"

He saluted me, smirking sarcastically. "Yes, ma'm?!"

"Help her get Shadow Sentry up here!" I ordered, before smirking sheepishly. "I mean - sorry, I didn't mean to sound so boss-"

"Righto!" he said, rolling his eyes he landed beside Shadow Sentry. Within a second, working with Moon Dancer, they pushed him up onto the main body of my walker. 

However, at that, something finally seemed to strike Moon Walker. "Wait a minute - who are you?!"

His eyes widened. "Um," he gulped. "Nobody?"

"Whatever!" she sighed. "Let's just get Shadow to safety, okay?"

"Right!" I gulped, before turning my machine about, glancing over my shoulder as I did.

"WOOOOOO YEAHHHHH!" Hunter cackled, actually leaping into the air before sending an arrow the Felhound's way.

"SHREEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!.!.!

The Felhound took an arrow to the knee, collapsing on it. Enraged, it simultaneously tried to rise upon it (and failing) as it continued its tendril barrage on Necrospear. 

CLANG! CRASH! CRACK!

He twirled his spear in a blur, blocking each tendril sent at him: nearly every second or so. 

"Hunter Will?! What the hell are you- WOAH!" He gasped, ducking a tendril. "Well - whatever the reason it is your here, mind lending another bolt?!

"How many do you need?" Hunter shrugged.

CICK-CHUT!

He loaded another, before pulling back the handle on his crossbow, readying it to fire. As I watched in awe, he seemed to be trying to zone in on the creature's bobbing head, trashing about every which way.

"Wait! Hit the other knee! Immobilize him!" Necrospear called. "These things have skulls made of Mithril!"

"What?!" Hunter grunted. "Why do you-"

"Just trust me!" 

I wonder what he has planned? I thought.

At that, Hunter took a deep breath. "Whatever," he shrugged.

He aimed his crossbow downward some, and after only a few seconds, his eyes widened. He fired simultaneously...

"Gotcha!" he smirked.

SHREEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!.!.!

The beast screeched as an arrow embedded itself in the creature's other knee. This time, it moved no more, before collapsing downward on its front, its hind legs still bucking. 

"Alright!" Necrospear said, gasping for air and looking as if he wanted to collapse. "He'll be back up in a second: you might need to hit its hind legs-"

"Not necessary," Deeja smiled, flying into the scene with his horn glowing green. A beam of the same color quickly cascaded forward from it, hitting the Felhound in the side. 

However, this time, it didn't shriek. An electrical current ran through its body, and though still seemed awake, it actually began to sit down. 

Deeja panted, hovering to the ground and rubbing his head. "O-Oh my..." he said, nearly puking. "I've never used so much energy before..."

"Whoever you are-  you did good!" Necrospear called, looking at him with a look of approval. 

"Please... just knock that thing out or something..."

"No need," Moon Dancer said, hobbling up to the scene (with my help), and nodding towards Necro. "Ready to sooth the savage beast?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Necrospear grinned. He then glanced at the three of us. "Cover your ears, alright?"

We did just that... and a strange humming sound filled the air. To my look of awe, the Felhound's pupil's actually began to dilate... and a placid air came about him. A second later, it lowered its vicious head to the ground, before actually beginning to snore.

I shook my head in disbelief. Did they just...?

"Woooo yeah!" Moon Dancer beamed. "We've got ourselves a new pet!" 

"It's not a pet," Necrospear groaned. 

Moon Dancer pouted. "Awwww - common! Can't we keep him?! He'll be our maskot! I'll walk him and feed him and-"

Suddenly, there was a loud groan. The group of us turned towards Deeja, who had collapsed to the ground.

"Oh no..." Moon Dancer gasped.

"Is he alright?!" Hunter Will grunted. "Don't tell him I said that..." he added.

"He must have used too much energy!" I cried. 

I ran to his side, kneeling down by him. He was growing colder by the second: and there was only one thing that could help him...

Come on: I don't care who it is! Someone give him love!
	
	

	
> Author's Note
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys, I have a confession to make. 

One so heinous and evil that it could make the gods themselves scream.

I... am not an octopus.

Nor do I play rock.

I actually am a human. A stoned, silent guardian of all things chill.

In other words, I'm this guy:



Seriously though, I go by another pen name, Silent Bob. Why am I posting this? Well, sorry to disappoint, but I no longer plan on continuing this fic. It's one of those things I did as an experiment that just didn't work out. I have a few new fics in progress, if you want to check them out, and since I did like the character of Tinker, I'm probably going to throw her in my Strangeverse (a linked universe of three stories so far) at some point.

Yes, I know this is the most kind of shameless self-promotion there is. But like I said, I'm constantly stoned. Don't blame me, blame the durgs, man.