Am I Sick, or Am I Sane? Either way this is one messed up situation. Was I torn from my world deliberately by a cartoon unicorn, in order to fight her battles? Or has my disease finally gotten the best of me, creating an elaborate hallucination?
Am I Sick, or Am I Sane? Either way this is one messed up situation. Was I torn from my world deliberately by a cartoon unicorn, in order to fight her battles? Or has my disease finally gotten the best of me, creating an elaborate hallucination? Either way, I suppose i'm screwed. Ive been taken from my home, my life, and the woman I hold dear, and sent to a world where i'm not going to lie, I have wished to visit before. Whether that is the fault of my 'Master' or my own insanity I do not know. All I know is that I am GOING to find a way back. Even if its gonna be the last thing I do. Until then...I might as well make the best of my situation. My name is Atticus, and this is my story.
I awoke not to the comfort of my bed, or the safety of my room as I would assume. But to a splitting headache and the burning sun blazing in the sky. My immediate thoughts went along the lines of 'holy shit this hurts' before my brain caught up with me, and I discovered indeed that it hurt like the unholy fires of a thousand burning Twilight movies. I quickly rolled over, and let out a mild yelp of pain before throwing my arms over my head. Partially to block my eyes from the light, partially to hold my head together as the sudden movement kicked the headache into full blown migraine.
As I was trying to figure out through the haze of pain whether or not an axe had just been firmly lodged into my skull, I discovered an interesting fact. One that should have been painfully obvious considering the painful sun, but beforehand was preoccupied. It was the dust which currently was shooting up my nose, causing me to cough and agitate my headache further. It made me realize that I was outside...Why the hell was I outside?
It took effort, but I forced my breathing to slow until it reached the point that I was no longer coughing. In turn the agony lessened, and my headache retreated to a manageable level. At that point I almost felt safe to move, but decided against it. instead opting for the gentle safety of the hard earth, and the security that came with lack of movement.
My brain now in semi-working order, I decided to use its computing abilities to figure out why I had been unknowingly enjoying the great out doors. Mind made up I thus referred to my list of 'What the fuck is going on' That I had complied previously in case of just such an emergency. Why I had such a list, was likely do the paranoia of being the paranoid Schizophrenic which I was. Must have slipped my mind to mention that. Also must have slipped my mind to remember how I got outside with the mega-migraine of murderous magnitude. Copyright pending.
The first and most obvious answer was that had went drinking the night before. The problem with that explanation came from the fact that I don't drink booze. Alcohol worsens my disease, and I have never had a liking for having my mind taken over by a me that wasn't me. Just to be sure though, I adjusted my self so that my hand lay before my face. Exhaling, I then sniffed my breath to in search of the acrid scent which indicated alcohol consumption. To my strange disappointment, i detected nothing but a desperate need of a toothbrush. I mentally crossed "Getting shit faced" of my list, and resigned myself to finding a toothbrush ASAP.
The second item in my pool of potential possibilities (patent pending) was much more likely and much more terrifying. The night before, in my sleep one of the other "me's" could have taken the reins if I had been within a frightening enough dream, and could possibly had taken my body on a joyride. It had happened before, to my chagrin. But I always awoke in a safe environment afterwards, without fail. They never put me at risk, mainly for the sake of their own asses. They were in my body after all, those lovely psycho voices of mine, and what happened to me happened to them. Considering our shared paranoia, it was very unlikely they would just plop me outside overnight. too much risk involved. Also, the headache was something ive never experienced from one of their excursions, only some mild confusion and fogginess the following morning. Becoming slightly worried, I crossed the second possibility off of the list.
This left one final scenario on my list, and honestly the possibility of it being even remotely true terrified me to no end. As this scenario indicated that my disease had reached the point of no return and that I was well, truly and thoroughly fucked. The possibility was simple, and horrifying. I was either locked within a lifelike dream, or hallucinating to such an intense level it was possible to feel full body sensations. I desperately hoped this was not the case, but i could think of no other possibilities, as the previous two were extremely unlikely in comparison and no other explanations could make sense. Even the throbbing headache receded in fear of the concept, and I felt a cold dread take root in my stomach.
Mentally i scolded myself, and reminded me that it was too soon to make judgments. Maybe last night i went out partying (which i don't) and got drugged, molested by bikers, and left out overnight in a park full of wild and ravenous beasts? I found it mildly humorous that i found that preferable to the possibility of finally sinking into true madness.
Well, you can either wallow in your despair or laugh at it. I always chose to laugh, cause if i'm crazy i might as well get a few kicks out of it right? With that thought, my face broke into a rueful grin and i found the will to bring myself to at least a sitting position. an excruciating endeavor it was, I grit my teeth and forced through the pain until I was right where i wanted myself. Sitting flat on my ass, unmoving. A state teenagers generally found themselves in on a regular basis.
Dow sitting, i had more freedom of movement. I took both hands, and placed them against my forehead, making a visor shape out of them reminiscent to the manner I had seen once in a video game. Taking a deep breath I summoned the two cubic units of courage I had to my name and, with a sigh, opened my eyes.
Now when I first had opened them, I had been lying on my back; thus blinded by the sun and the startling blue sky. Now my pained eyes were greeted again with a sky-like blue, but that was augmented with a startling and sparkling violet which filled the center of my vision. I stared, trying to get a better idea of just what I was seeing and then the violet fucking BLINKED and i realized exactly what i was seeing.
They were eyes. Big Ass Purple Eyes.
That settled it. Stan, I would like door number three;
a.k.a. the one way trip to the funny farm.
Despite the smart ass comments my smart ass brain, I let out a yelp of surprise and rolled onto my back. This caused a spike of pain to lance through my squishy grey matter, telling it to shut its damn mouth before it caused more problems. On my back, I felt a pebble poking my spine and I ignored it. amazingly I also decided to ignore how much my eyes hurt from the light, and the headache as well. I decided to ignore all this because i realized i had just gone insane, and it didn't matter anyway.
From the corner of my eye, I spied the blue that wasn't the sky come closer. The large purple eyes nearly shining. From what i could make out from my position on my back ignoring shit, there was a strange expression in those eyes. somewhere between excitement, pride and worry.
Yay, my hallucinations appeared to be worried for me. Woo Hoo.
It continued to approach slowly, and I continued to ignore it until whatever it was was standing right beside me. I'm not going to lie, i was curious what kind of crazy creation my crazy conscious had conjured to captivate me, but I had the strange feeling that if i began to look my little grasp on reality would fail and i would fall completely into the hallucination. in layman's terms, I continued to ignore the fuck out of it.
Apparently my insanity did not like to be ignored, and thus it moved to stand over me. I did not make an indication to it, but I felt a mild relief as its large blue form blocked out the sun, which in all honestly had been getting real hard to ignore. Large purple eyes entered my gaze once again, and it became painfully obvious once that they were demanding attention. Too bad for them i was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch that refused to meat the expectations of my particular brand of crazy, and so I kept ignoring it...
...That is, until it spoke. And the words it spoke caused whatever preconceived notions I had to shatter like glass. It was a familiar voice, speaking in a familiar manner. one that I had heard before. With a strange rush my eyes snapped to meet its, and I was able to see its satisfaction in gaining my attention.
The words it had said, the particular sentence that it had spoke kept echoing in my brain. And in truth, continued to echo for years to come. These words would define what happened next, and would change my life forever. They were simple, a command and a name.
"Look this way Familiar! The Great and Powerful Trixie will not be ignored by her summon!"
Either my insanity had the sickest of all senses of humor, or my life had been turned flipped upside down.
and last time i checked, my name wasn't Will Smith.
From my peripherals I could tell Trixe was grinning, and was quite smug in capturing my attention. So in return I kept staring and she quickly became unsettled. I couldn't blame her, i was staring intensely enough to melt steel. And as I kept staring, two things kept echoing in my skull.
First was her name. She had called herself the Great and Powerful Trixie, Which is odd considering the fact that the name belonged to a particular cartoon unicorn. Who was a character in a particular cartoon. Which also, if I forgot to mention, was a FICTIONAL KIDS SHOW. Fictional defining as something that does not exist. This alarmed me, but then I remembered I was hallucinating so it was no big deal.
Second was, strangely enough, the part of this that i found most strange. The words "summon" and "familiar" had exited her mouth. Now, any RPG fan worth his D6 would know that summons and familiars are monsters one brings from another plane to fight for them. Its a classic tactic to bring in a badass demon when the larger badass ogre is currently whooping your collective low level asses...im straying from the point, which was that she had referred to me as such.
It took me thirty whole seconds to process this information and come to a conclusion, in that time which the hallucination known as Trixie grew ever more and more unsettled. As did I, for i came to the realization that my brain was trying to ensnare me in the illusion that I had been summoned to a fantasy cartoon world by a fantasy cartoon pony in order to fight her battles as some sort of summoned character.
While extremely unhappy with this turn of events, I had to give my psychosis points for originality at least. Better than hopping through some strange mental landscape avoiding hairy pterodactyls which represented my insecurities. because that would just be weird.
Suddenly I had found myself gasping for breath and attempting to curl to one side. It felt as if something rather hard had just introduced itself into my sternum. A quick glance downward confirmed not only what happened, but the perpetrator. If the blue hoof was any indication, Trixie was to blame.
I let out a heavy cough and returned my stare to her eyes. This time there was definite satisfaction, as well as slight anger. She appeared to be irritated by the fact that I still appeared to be ignoring her, despite her commands. I suppose it wasn't helping the situation at all that I considered her to be a hallucination but It be what it be.
But despite the fact she was only a figment of my imagination, that hoof was slightly painful and made it difficult to breath. We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew what had to be done. My expression changed, and again smugness broke over her face. This time she knew she had my attention. It was only after my expression had morphed from irritation into full blown anger did she seem to realize the mistake in that accomplishment.
Gathering what air I could into my lungs, I spoke for the first time since waking up. only two very simple words, that carried a cornucopia of complex concepts to be considered by her.
"Get off."
It wasn't loud, or particularly threatening, but it got the job done. I suppose it was my eyes that may have sealed the deal, as when i spoke i tried to impart my every intention of forcing her off if need be through them. Her eyes widened comically, and she rushed to step off. In that rush she accidentally pushed down on the hoof which was pressed against my torso, causing me to let out a grunt.
Now that she was removed from my person, I sat up. My headache at least was mostly gone, seemingly a symptom of waking up. That, or I simply did not notice it anymore considering the what lay before me.
When I had first sat up, I didn't notice much aside from the big-blue-purple-eyed-thing which took up most of my blurred vision. Now that my vision was cleared and the now identified big-blue-purple-eyed-thing was sitting off to the side, I was able to see more of my surroundings and actually see where exactly I was.
...Which was surrounded by a crap-ton of trees, in the middle of a clearing. Over to my left was Trixie's Trailer, which i remembered seeing before in the show. I mentally applauded my insanity for its attention to detail, as it truly looked like a run down beat up trailer. Down to the splintered wood and raggedy walls. My crazy sure knew how to make something look real, id give it that.
Aside from the trailer, there were a few scattered objects. A large black pot next to a pit which I could only assume was used for fires. A few bags half-filled with who knows what. And a large, and I mean LARGE black book sitting not three feet away from me. It laid Right outside the outline of a circle drawn into the dust. As i followed the circle with my eyes I realized that I was sitting dead center within. Honestly, that part made sense so I paid it no mind. You need a magic circle to summon something after all, which she probably learned either in whatever unicorn school she went too.
Or my brain knew I would think that and pay it no mind, thus trapping me further in the hallucination by accepting things as logical. To more things made sense, the more this world would seem real. Which wasn't the case as I knew I was crazy, so id have to be on my guard to keep from getting complacent.
What I could be considered an attempt at a polite cough came from the direction where Trixie was, and even though I knew i should be ignoring her, I slowly turned my head in her direction. She was standing right outside the circle, a few feet right of the big black book. He stance and expression showed some unease, but generally broadcasted the arrogance she was known for. perhaps feeling more safe outside of the circle. She was watching me, with a keen interest. Studying me as if looking or waiting for something in particular.
I wasn't sure where to go to from here. If this had been a real encounter, if I had actually been in Equestria meeting the real Trixie Lulamoon I probably would have said something of value. Instead, this was a hallucination and so I raised one hand in casual greeting and said,
"Sup."
It was obvious to me that this wasn't what she was expecting for she seemed to be thrown off guard, and began to lift her hoof to wave back. Then she caught on, and shook her head before glaring at me indignantly, As if I had done something wrong by being friendly. Bitch.So I just sat there, unsure of where this was going to go next.
Neither did she apparently, as she walked over to consult her book. Her horn glowed a light pink, and so did the grimoire as she used her magic to lift it off the ground and to her face. Carefully she used her magic to open the cover, but a large amount of dust still flew out of the old pages, causing her to sneeze. I let out a snicker at the look on her face, and she shot me another glare before returning her attention to the tome.
For a few minutes she browsed through the book, and I simply sat their looking around. I had no desire to get up and explore further, as I was sure my insanity had aptly prepared for that. Possibly leaving traps, or mental snares to lock me tight in the mental prison I occupied. And truth to be told, I was rather curious as to what Trixie would do. Although I doubted it would be anything of importance.
Good lord was I wrong about that.
Eventually she had found the page she was looking for, and began to scan over it. Her eyes greedily soaking up every word and searching for some particular phrase or incantation. she must have found what she was looking for because she whispered something to herself. I couldn't tell from where I was but it sounded suspiciously like, "Here goes nothing."
Taking a moment to reread the spell, she took a deep breath looked me dead in the eyes, before shouted at me in something remarkably similar to the Royal Canterlot voice over the entire THREE FEET OF SPACE between us. I was remotely sure that my eardrums had popped from her irresponsible use of the Thu'um, yet her words still reached me.
"SERVANT! SERVITAS! BEING I HAS BROUGHT TO THIS PLAIN! THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN I HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE. AND THROUGH BLOOD AND MAGIC I SHALL SUSTAIN YOU! YOU WILL FIGHT MY FOES AND WIN MY BATTLES! YOU WILL BRING GLORY TO US BOTH! I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, AND YOU ARE MY FAMILIAR! YOU ARE BOUND!"
When the last syllable had finished exploding forth from her mouth, she then did something particularly alarming. Never breaking eye contact, she lifted up one hoof and bit down on her leg. My eyes widened at this, and I moved to get up and make her stop forgetting for a moment that this wasn't real at the sight of ruby liquid staining her fur. It was then I discovered that I was unable to move from my sitting position, I couldn't even look away from her eyes. Gingerly, she ceased her biting and pulled away. Crimson blood oozed from the wound, and dripped to the ground. But before the first drop could touch the base earth, it changed direction. Heading directly for me.
The first drops of her blood hit me directly in the throat, and wherever they landed a searing pain followed. Like that of a light burn. Then more blood began to flow from her leg, and that time struck different places. Both of my wrists were struck, as were my ankles. I opened my mouth to either cry out it pain, or ask what the fuck was happening I wasn't sure which, when the last few drops flew directly into my mouth and down my esophagus. Causing me to choke and sputter.
In my stomach I felt a strange heat from the blood, which then spread out through my entire form causing the burning pain from my neck, wrists, and ankles to ignite into an inferno. It felt as if something was being branded into my skin and soul, with those good old fashion iron brands people used to use to torture one another. It hurt like HELL. All the while through this agony, I could never take my gaze off of her. As I was being tormented she watched on impassively, although I could make out the slightly green tint to her cheeks.
And then, with some sort of unspoken signal, it stopped. I didn't realize i had been standing till i fell to my knees. All that was left from the pain was a dull ache, and I could swear i smelled smoke. Finally i could break eye contact, and I did so in order to stare at my wrists. Namely the large black markings that were seared into my flesh.
They were large, maybe two inches thick and went around the entire wrist like some kind of twisted bracelet. The markings themselves were some kind of runic script of which i knew absolute shit about what it said, and were fashioned to link together in an imitation of a chain. Both wrists bore the markings, and I lifted up my pants legs to find that my ankles had them as well. Knowing what Id find but feeling the need to check anyway, i lifted my hands to feel around my neck. I was not disappointed, as i felt the hot imprinted flesh beneath my fingertips.
"What...did you just do to me?" I asked her. My voice slightly unsteady as I was in shock from whatever the hell just occurred. She swallowed down the green in her cheeks and replied with confidence.
"Why, the great and powerful Trixe just bound you as her familiar of course! While it was indeed a complex spell, it was an easy feat for one as skilled and as amazing as Trixie!" She even did a prideful bow once she finished speaking, to illustrate her supposed greatness.
Her boastful attitude irritated me, as it had done before on the show. Whatever she did, it freaking hurt, and she was proud of it? I was beginning to get angry. I stood up again, and unsteady walked to the edge of the circle, Stopping right before the line in the dirt. The closeness seemed not to worry her, possibly because of the protection the circle was supposed to offer.
Speaking of the circle, I wondered...
I suppose slamming it with my fist wasn't the smartest idea. If something was there i would have injured my hand, and if it wasn't i would have looked pretty dumb swinging at the air. Fortunately, or unfortunately for me my fist slammed directly into an invisible barrier, which shimmered blue where i had struck it. It felt similar to hitting a wall, which made me very happy I didn't try to punch it. Happy being relative. Despite the ache in my hand now, punching it would have defiantly left me with some broken bones. Despite the fact I wasn't sure if I could even break bones in a hallucination, I knew for certain that I was in no sort of hurry to find out.
So the circle had worked, and she was safe as long as I was inside of it. I was at the mercy of the same Trixie who had just struck me with an agonizing spell. The same Trixie which i could only assume summoned me to this world. The same Trixie which was most likely a figment of my imagination sent to torment me through some strange Freudian fantasy. wasn't this just Wonderful?
Well, if I had gone through my entire life so far just being sarcastic and agonized, I probably would have been a film critic. Hallucination it was I needed to get some answers as to the 'rules' of the situation, and I couldn't do that if I was being silent and angsty. The only way I would would be by talking to her, as she was obviously a focal point. Plus I needed to get out of the damn circle too, as claustrophobia and paranoia mixed as well as water and potassium. I tilted my head to look at her, and went to confirm my thoughts on the matter.
"Trixie, did you bring me here?"
While it was a rather blunt and obvious question, it seemed to confuse her, but the answer clearly inflated her ego. Her chest puffed up with pride, and she tossed her hair in a haughty gesture. I would have put money down that id be getting sick of that extremely fast.
"Why of course I did! Only the Great and Powerful Trixie could cast such a high level spell to bring you onto the Eques plane! I admit it was difficult procuring the materials," She waved a hoof in the general direction of the sacks and large black book. ",but once I had them it was a foals play for one such as Trixie!" Her face then grew a dark in a way I found complacently out of place" And if your as vicious as the Hexicon promised then it will all be worth it."
My anger was lessened, mainly because I was disturbed at her last statement. Me, vicious? only if I hadn't had my coffee that morning. The unsettling part of that statement helped me to realize what part of the timeline I was in, or at least, what part my brain wanted me to think I was in. There was only one reason why Trixie would have summoned something 'vicious' and that meant that...
"Trixie, I will not help you to get vengeance on Twilight Sparkle."
As I spoke her confidence seemed to fall a notch, as I suppose she didn't expect me to know of her plan, or that I would refuse her. I was wondering how much of that 'Hexicon' did she actually read, and how many of the warnings she had ignored. She better thank her lucky stars she didn't choose summon an eldritch abomination out of Lovecraftian or something of the like. otherwise this encounter would have likely went the way of the internet. Horrifying and arousing.
"How," She swallowed "how did you know that?"
I kept in mind that none of this was real as I decided to mess around abit and play up the whole 'omnipotent summon' routine. Hopefully if I was convincing enough, she would forget my earlier writhing in pain and catatonic behavior and and on the off chance this was real send me home. If not, at least Id get a laugh.
"I know many things Trixie Lulamoon," I spoke in the most gravelly voice I could muster. Also I decided to use her full name instead of that wizard of Oz esqe title she chose for herself. This mix had the desired effect, as she took a step back away from the circle.
"I know of your boasts, I know of your humiliation at the hands of Celestias Protegee, I know of your arrogance and pride," For added effect I slammed my palms against the circle, causing a loud noise and a flash of light. I smiled as it made her jump.
"I know of your tampering with magics beyond your control, and summoning that which no pony should ever see in the light of day." She was defiantly unsettled and frightened, good. My ploy was working nicely. Now to finish her and, hoping beyond hope, get sent home. I shouted the last words with all the force I had.
"RELEASE ME TO MY PLANE AND BE SPARED THE ENDLESS TORMENT THAT AWAITS! THIS I COMMAND!"
With most of my strength behind the blow, i hammerfisted the circle with both hands. Both me and Trixie were surprised when the light died down, as where I struck spider-webbed with hairlike cracks that glowed softly in the air. Well everyone knew she was more bark than bite, and that her magical skills were somewhat sub-par. I rationalizes that she probably had messed up and made the circle weak or the like, because I knew for a fact I wasn't strong enough for that.
Whatever the reason for the cracks, she looked on at me with pure terror upon her face. My act had well and thoroughly scared the bejeezus out of her, and I had to hide my smile. No point in ruining it now. She opened her mouth to speak and I cut her off with a shout,
"WELL?"
She gaped like a fish out of water for a moment before regaining her voice. It was shaky, and frightened as to be expected, but also exceedingly quiet. Almost a whisper which i had to strain to here.
"...I cant..."
This wasn't surprising to hear, as I doubted it would be that easy to beat my brain. It still was exceedingly irritating. and I showed it as I slammed my fist against the magical barrier, causing more cracks to spiderweb.
"And just why, prey tell, can you not Trixie Lulamoon?"
Personally, I found her terror amusing as I had no doubt that even her crappy magic could throw me around like a ragdoll in a physics engine, yet she was scared to death of this 'vicious creature' she had summoned. I kept my smile down, as smiling would ruin the act. I already had my answer, but I could play this out some more. Get a few more kicks out of it. She audibly gulped as I glared, and stammered when she began her explanation.
"Well usually a summon would disappear after a set amount of time, due to either damage or the summoner having less that sufficient amounts of mana to sustain it. That is to keep stability on the summoned plane because anything from another plan could destabilize the plane simply by existing. That is the the point of the summoners mana, to act as a barrier between the summon and the plane..."
Oh wow, I had scared her into rambling mode. In the funniest manner too, as she sounded abit like the unicorn she despised so much. The jargon she was spouting out was, thankfully understandable due to my years of gaming experience. Yet it was not explaining why I couldn't be returned. aside from the obvious explanation, which was I couldn't be returned because I had not been summoned. Still, I would let her continue.
"...Except your not a summon, not anymore at least. When Trixie summoned you, you were not acting as the book said you would. It told Trixie to use a certain spell in case you were a wild one, for Trixies own protection. Those marks indicate that you are now a familiar spirit, Trixies to be exact, So you are now, through Trixie's blood, bound to this plane forever...Sorry?"
All mirth I had gained from tormenting her dissipated the moment she finished speaking. The weight of her words hit me. Bound? Forever? Never to return to the ones I love? I found myself forgetting that it wasn't real, forgetting I was in my head. I could have been returned, I could have been sent home but she made me her familiar?
Like an old friend, a familiar sensation ran up my spine. One I generally acquainted with me needing to calm down, lest my sickness take charge. I paid it no mind, out of rage.
This time I wasnt faking the growl as I spoke. I was livid, furious. How dare she, who didnt even know who or what I was, make such a descision?
"Send me back." Simple statement, simply stated. Do it Trixie.
"I cant..."
This response did not help my issues. Accordingly I did punch the circle, causing it to crack some more as I sure my bones followed suit. Yet I didn't care, as I was still more pissed than anything. She let out a whimper.
"Send me back!" I shouted at her. In the back of my head, I could feel familiar thoughts stirring. Restless thoughts that I always tried to subdue. The voices that I was sure were causing this entire charade. They whispered bloody madness into my ear, horrible fates to match horrible actions. They told me she was to blame. She saw the murder in my eyes, and cried out almost desperately.
"I cant!"
Again I punched the wall, having it crack more. I gave it two more punches but my hand quickly grew sore. I stepped back a couple feet and kicked out. The cracks grew to spread around half of the cylinder, and a straining noise was heard. Through the haze of voices in my ears, I heard Trixie shouting.
"Trixie is sorry! Trixie is so very sorry! Please stop, youll break the circle! Please!"
Under my breath I growled at her, much to the voices delight
"That was the idea bitch."
And then I tackled the damn thing, slamming through it with all my weight.
With a flash of light, and a roar of thunder the circle was broken and scrambled to stand from the dirt. There must have been a shock-wave too, as Trixie was lying on her side, temporarily knocked silly and trying to regain her bearings. Looking down at her, the voices whispered into my ear
"vulnerable..."
She was vulnerable, wasn't she? In this state I could easily hurt her dominate her, Perhaps breaking off her horn to protect me from her magic? There was that cooking pot and fire pit. Maybe I would cook her and eat her, using the damnable book she summoned me with as fuel. Maybe I-
Maybe I should stop.
The voices roared in anger as I caught on to what they were saying, and what they were doing. As they always did, they were using my emotions against me to influence my actions. Slipping in between the cracks of righteous anger to corrupt it into sadistic revenge. I felt a little sick as I realized what I had just been thinking. Fucking Christ, eat her? What the fuck was wrong with me?
It was then and there I began to have doubts that this was a hallucination. If it was, Trixie was obviously the focal point. That said, killing her could possibly end it. Which made it very curious as to why the same voices keeping me under the illusion would want her dead. My crazy was smart, but not smart enough to use reverse psychology, and dumb enough risk its entire ploy on such tactics.
I didn't know what to do.
So I sat down and waited for Trixie to regain her senses.
The time it took for Trixie to pull it together was rather short, and I didn't have much of it to think before she was standing and preparing to run. She used magic to pick up her hat which had flown loose from the blast, and lifted as many sacks as she could with before taking a hurried step away. Perhaps hoping that I wouldn't notice her disappearance, being too preoccupied with whatever vicious and powerful monsters get preoccupied by. I guess she was in enough of a hurry that she didn't see me watching her the entire time. Unfortunately for her escape plan, I was.
"Wait." I called out. None of the anger or fake magnificence present in my tone, just a mild depression. "Just wait a moment, please."
My words caused Trixie to halt in her actions, and when she wasn't moving it became obvious to me that she was shaking. Fuck dammit, this wasn't going to be easy. Acting like everything wasn't real was not the best way to set the groundwork for a conversation. Especially if it left you shamed and confused, and her terrified of what was next to her. Kinda like a the morning after a particularly interesting party. I let out a sigh and continued to speak.
"Trixie, don't leave just yet please, I...I need your help. Please. I swear upon my life I will not harm you, but don't go."
Looking back on it now, I must have sounded like I was begging. I suppose I was, and she must have heard it too as she dropped her sacks with death-row resignation and turned to face me. The fear was evident on her face, but she held it together surprisingly well.
"W-what-" She bit down on her lip, refocused and tried again. "What is it that you need, Great One?" The shakiness was still evident in her voice but the stammer was gone.
I tried not to notice the tone in her voice, or how she addressed me. Instead I patted the dirt next to me.
"Please sit down, we need to talk."
She shuffled somewhat nearer, but stopped before getting close.
"If its all the same to you, Great One, Trixie would rather stand."
I nodded, and leaned back to look at the sky. hoping that taking my direct attention away from Trixie might mollify her slightly and give her some sense of comfort. I could taste the irony in that thought, considering the past hours events and let out a chuckle. I almost flinched at the sound she made in response.
I never liked people being scared, maybe in a joking manner but never truly. It was a sadistic pleasure reserved for the others that I generally refused to take part in. When people were happy, and confidant I was too. When they were frightened, It made me sick. Not out of disgust, but out of a general sorrow. When I acted the way I did before, she had been a fake in my eyes. An illusion. Weaved with madness and animated by insanity. But now that she was flesh and blood, what I had done was simply appalling.
Shame. A lovely feeling that I know quite well. And grew to knew further.
I felt the compunction to try and explain to her my actions, to get her to understand why I appeared to be the very thing she thought she had summoned, when In truth I was not. I wanted to explain my sickness, and how the situation was so absurd that I believed I had gone insane. I wanted to explain so many things, in hope that it could shed some light on the situation and make it more understandable for the both of us. Yet I didn't know where to begin...
I squeezed my hands together in an exercise of futility when a familiar pinch gave me exactly the "Hi-im-not-an-evil-monster-ice-breaker-conversation-opener" I needed.
"Trixie, unicorns have a unique culture among pony tribes when it comes to marriage, am I wrong?"
I Didn't change perspectives, but i didn't need to look at her to understand the confusion. She obviously had no idea where I was going but went along with it. I was pulling on my knowledge of the show here again, not to frighten her like before, but to maybe make myself seem a little more human to her...or equine, or whatever.
"Yes, Great One. Most of it is similar to the other tribes, but the unicorns have a few unique customs."
She couldn't seem to bring up the courage to inquire why I was asking this of all things. I continued, ignoring the unspoken question.
"And one of these customs in unicorn marriage, is the exchanging of rings between the mare and the stallion to signify the bond, yes?"
"Yes, Great one."
"Then in that case..."
Without looking I lifted up my left hand showed her its back. Wiggling my ring finger, I hoped it would draw attention to the solid gold band upon it. A simple piece of metal of both a modest sum of material worth, and an endless amount of emotional value to me.
That ring represented everything that mattered to me in my world. Why I cared to try and fight my madness, why I wished to leave this world fake or not and return to my old one.
Two months from yesterday I had been scheduled to get married to the light of my life.
and today, I had been drug out of my world and tossed into this one.
"Do you know what this means, Trixe?
Despite her apparent issues with magical knowledge, She wasn't stupid, and in the time it took to blink she seemed to had put the pieces together. Not that it was rather hard mind you. The look on her face would have been priceless if I was in a good mood, but now only seemed to give me some slight recompense. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth had made a small 'o' shape.
In the words of someone wiser than me, she seemed to realize that she had "Dun Goofed."
My tired eyes locked with hers and my voice was resigned
"Are you absolutely sure you cannot send me back?"
Her small nod was the only response I got, and I would have to be enough.
I stood up and Trixie took a step back. I ignored her in favor of walking to the trees which ringed the small clearing and began the painstaking process of gathering up twigs and branches. Behind me I heard the door to Trixies trailer open and her step inside. I continued picking up the wood, and once I had a large armful I walked to the firepit. Dropping the wood unceremoniously in the center. Drawing from my limited experience in outdoorsmanship, I judged the amount of wood to satisfactory for fire making.
I looked around for some kind of lighter or tinderbox, but found nothing of the sort. I went to search through the sacks, but stopped partway and smacked myself in the forehead. Trixie was a unicorn, and probably used magic to light her fires instead of some tool. So unless I wanted to be rubbing some sticks in frustration id need her help.
Yet as I stood in front of her wagon, i couldn't bring myself to knock. My hand had been stayed by the strange mix match of emotions in my system. First and foremost was the absolute shame that always followed after an 'episode'. Despite telling myself not too, I let my paranoia draw quick judgments. Judgments which led me to act in a stupid and careless way that left me hurting.
And not only me
I must have terrified Trixie to no end, and then hitting her with the guilt card, letting her know what she took from me. Insulting her, destroying her confidence by shattering her, admittedly sucky, circle. All in less than an hour...She was likley as much of an emotional wreck as I was. She probably needed time, and so did I.
Too bad that I needed fire, and despite modern intelligence I lacked paleolithic ingenuity.
So I Knocked
At first she didn't respond, causing me to knock a second time. This time with more force. I heard some noises, and from behind the wood came a muffled voice.
"What do you need?"
"I need you to light a fire."
I chose not to mince words. If she started this fire, I could sleep comfortably outside and not bother her further. There was a moment of silence before she responded.
"...You need Trixie to start a fire?"
The questioning in her tone made it obvious she found this hard to believe. I hadn't thought that a viscous summon would likely have fire abilities in their demonic roster of power, and at this point came to a crossroads. I either could continue my farce, and try to get her to do what I wanted through fear, or tell her the truth. The first option was risky, as it entailed a continuous amount of bluffing that I eventually would have to back up. And when the time came, and I was unable to perform. She would see me for what I was and who knows what would happen. There was a decent chance it would involve smothering me with her hat while I slept.
Option two was no better, as it meant that she would feel no compunction aside from guilt to help me. Guilt that would pale in comparison to the anger of me duping her in the first place. I absent mindedly rubbed at my wrist and the marks I could feel on the skin. Also, if I told her the truth I would loose the only thing that protected me from her and her magic. Fear.
For not the first time in my life I cursed the sickness that had placed me in this situation. If I hadn't been insane, I could have reacted rationally to my awakening. If I had done that, I would have been able to explain to her my situation and would have convinced her to send me back, despite my urges of seeing this strange and wonderful world of ponies. Ok, perhaps it wouldn't have gone as smoothly as that, but it damn well would have turned out better than this.
Damning my brain, I bonked my head against the door of her trailer in frustration.
Trixie must have taken this as a third and final knock because to my immediate surprise she immediately opened the door, perhaps to avoid my ire. This was counterproductive as my support was the door in which she was opening. Causing me to fall.
I caught a glimpse of surprised purple before slamming into a mix of blue and brown. The blue being infinitely softer than the brown, as it was comprised out of pony than hard wood. Her surprised yell was matched by my groan as it became painfully obvious that the choice had been made for me.
I would love to say everything went smoothly for me from there, that Trixie was accepting and understood the reasons for my actions. That she fed me, gave me her bed, covered me with a blanket and sang me to sleep before staying up all night and discovering a way to reverse her spell. That we hugged in the morning, forgiving each other for our trespasses before she sent me happily home.
Instead my initial assumption was correct. Once she realized I wasn't the omniscient eldritch being that she thought she had summoned her rage knew no bounds, and I quickly found out what those markings on my extremities could be used for. Lets just say it wasn't pleasant. So after being bound to the dirt and forced to sleep outside WITHOUT even the comfort of a fire, I awoke...to nice cold water.
All over my head.
Trixie stood above me, the cooking pot I had seen the night before hovering surrounded by a pinkish hue. Her face held a contemptuous smile, and I knew I was screwed. It seemed as if a single night of sleep was all she needed to become her usual self, especially after realizing she had control of me. Releasing my binds, she ordered me to stand, and I did so. Wincing at the painful cracking my joints were doing in a group refusal to move. Too bad, like me, they had no choice. Now standing Trixie stood before in a manner that almost reminded me of a drill sergeant, but with a glare half as kind.
Lifting a hoof she gestured to all the scattered sack.
"Minion! The Great and Powerful Trixie will not dirty her hooves picking up her materials. Fetch them and place them in the wagon, I will be eating breakfast."
Tired and in pain, I was going to refuse her but then I caught the glint in her eye. She was wanting me to defy her, just to have an excuse to use the Bind again.
See, what I had discovered the night before was that the marks did more than just bind me to this plane. It bound me to her in particular giving her some strange benefits. The most obvious of which is that if I disobeyed, she could Bind me as she had done last night. Which had the simple enough effect of locking all of my muscles in a manner very similar to a taser. Which both made it impossible to move, and hurt like hell. So i wasn't in a hurry to have that happen again.
With nary a sound I went to work. Moving the sacks was a strange task as it varied in difficulty. Some sacks were light as if they were filled with feathers. Others were so heavy it took all of my strength to lift them. However I could never look to see what was within. The one time I tried, I had felt the muscles in my hand spasm and contract, causing me to drop the sack with a pained yelp. I gazed over to were Trixie was eating an apple, and saw not only the smug look on her face and the pinkish glow around her horn.
After that I just loaded everything into the wagon without hassle, and was rewarded for my efforts with a haughty snort and a declaration that I had taken too long, and that we should have been on the road and hour earlier.
It took alot of willpower not to notice the whispers.
Instead, I just nodded and apologized. Swallowing the retort and threats down into my throat. She was oblivious to my inner struggle, and casually threw away her apple core before settling into the seat in the front of the wagon.
"Minion! Come here."
I did as such, and walked over to where she sat. She watched with veiled amusement, as if privy to some sort of joke. I didnt see what she found so funny. Until she pointed with a hoof to the harness at the fore of the wagon. The one she would have been wearing if she was going to pull it...
My gaze snapped back to her and her smile was cruel. That BITCH expected me to pull her wagon like some sort of mule! What was I, her fucking slave?
Apparently so as my internal rebellion was quelled when I saw a familiar glow around her horn, and to my shame I rushed to get the harness around shoulders. Trixies laugh did not help me to remain calm, but somehow I managed.
The harness was a bitch, because as I found out it wasn't designed to loop around human shoulders. It was meant to curve around a ponies barrel, meaning it would only fit around my waist. Anyone with basic knowledge of leverage would know that it would now be infinitely more difficult to pull now. Fuck. But still I hooked it tight and began waited for her instructions.
"Why are you just standing there Minion? The Great and Powerful Trixie has no time to waste! Get moving, we have a rock farm to visit."