Quite Possibly the Worst Morning Ever
A rooster’s crow rang throughout Sweet Apple Acres and pierced the walls of the farm house. It hit Apple Bloom’s ears and pulled her out from Princess Luna’s dream domain into the land of the awake. She slowly opened her eyes and stretched her body out beneath her bed sheets. Bringing her hooves over the side of the bed and letting them fall to the floor with a heavy thud, Apple Bloom climbed out of her soft bed and began to prepare for her day. Though for now that only consisted of rubbing her eyes awake. She thought about going into the bathroom and brushing her teeth, but she decided to hold off on that until after she’s eaten breakfast. Otherwise she’d get another lecture from Applejack about good oral hygiene. She also didn’t put her hair up into a bow yet since she usually packaged that in with brushing her teeth.
Light beamed in through her window and created little golden pools on the wooden floorboards. As Apple Bloom trudged across her room and through the light she felt its warmness embrace her body. Though this was basically the same way she started every morning, it still felt special to her. She stopped for a second to bask in this morning light. Its rays reached her eyes and slowly pried them open with a gentle glow. Soon her eyes were fully awake and her brain was functioning at close to peak performance. With a loud yawn Apple Bloom went out towards the new day.
Out the door, though the hall, and down the stairs she went. With each step her hooves made the old wooden stairs creek. As soon as Apple Bloom reached the bottom of the stairs the smell of fresh pancake batter and warm apple syrup reached her nose. Her mouth watered and she licked her lips. Using the sweet scent as a guide she made her way into the kitchen where the rest of her family was conversing and enjoying the delicious breakfast she had smelled. Her older sister, Applejack, was standing over the stove with her back turned to Apple Bloom while she was frying the pancakes. Her grandmother, Granny Smith, was sitting at the table with her face buried in this morning’s newspaper right next to her older brother, Big Macintosh, who was eating his pancakes. Apple Bloom pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table across from Granny Smith.
“Mornin’ everypony,” She said with a loud yawn. “Mind fixin’ me up with a couple pancakes?” She reached to the center of the table, grabbed a plate, and pulled it towards her.
“Sure thing sugah cube.” Applejack said as she turned around with the skillet in hoof. “Two freshly made pancakes comin’ right…” Suddenly the orange pony’s jaw dropped and almost the skillet as well. Applejack stopped dead in her tracks and stared right at Apple Bloom with an expression that said she had just seen a ghost.
“What?” Apple Bloom asked cocking her head to the side with a confused and angry face. “Why are ya’ll lookin’ at me like that?” This got both Granny Smith and Big Mac to turn their heads towards Apple Bloom and have their faces instantly morph into the same expression as Applejack’s. “What the hay is everypony starin' at me for?”
For a good long while none of them said anything. Finally Applejack shook her head and started to stutter. “W-w-what the hay happened to ya?” She managed to get out. “Why the heck do ya look like that?”
“What the hay are ya talking about?” Apple Bloom was starting to get a little upset. “Mah mane always looks like this before ah do it up.”
“No, no sugah cube. Ah’m not talkin’ ‘bout yer mane. Well ah am, but it’s more than just that. It’s all of ya! Yer…yer…”
“Yer a colt!” Granny Smith blurted out bluntly.
“What?!” Apple Bloom could hardly believe what she had just heard. At first she actually didn't. "T-that's very funny of ya'll..." She tried to force a smile but the rest of her family still kept their horrified expressions. Slowly Apple Bloom started to realize that they might not be kidding. As soon as she came to this realization she instantly darted out from the kitchen, up the stairs, into the bathroom, and right up to the mirror to look at her face. She also didn’t recognize the pony she saw in the reflection. Her jaw had become bigger and a little squarer. Her mane, which normally would be hanging down to her shoulders, seemed to have been cut short. Her entire body had a slightly more muscular build to it. She (or rather he) had the body of a colt. “W-w-w-w-w-w-WHAT THE HAY?!”
“How the hay did this happen?” Granny Smith shouted, half concerned and half confused.
“A-ah have no idea.” Applejack stuttered, still in shock from the surprise. It took her a good minute to collect her thoughts and finally start to put pieces together. Then she instantly remember who was normally to blame whenever there was something weird going on in Ponyville. “Actually, ah think ah have a pretty good idea.” She scowled.
“WHAT THE HAY IS THIS THING BETWEEN MAH LEGS?!” The three of them heard Apple Bloom shout from upstairs. The two mares in the room turned to Big Mac.
“Eeyup,” He sighed as he got up from his seat and went upstairs to have a talk with Apple Bloom that he never thought that he would have.
~
“Easy does it…” Spike muttered to himself from atop the tall ladder that he used to reach the top of bookcases. The young drake had been cleaning and redecorating the library all morning. He was currently about to finish his chore by placing a flower pot on top of the bookshelf.
“Twilight!” Applejack shouted as she slammed the front door the library open. The surprise and force of her banging the door against the wall was so great that it sent Spike toppling backwards.
“Whoa!” He shouted as he attempted to grab onto the bookshelf for balance. This only succeeded in Spike pulling it down with him as he fell. Both the dragon and the bookshelf hit the floor with a loud crash. Spike’s head spun for a second before he shook it rapidly and saw that every single book from the shelf had been scattered across the library floor. “Dang it…” He muttered to himself.
“Twilight!” Applejack shouted upstairs, not seeming to notice Spike. “Ya better get yer flank down here this second!”
“Applejack!” Twilight shouted with a worried and confused look on her face as she ran downstairs to see what was going on. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Applejack’s tone seemed almost insulted. “What’s wrong is that there’s somethin’ hangin’ beneath ma sister’s hind legs!”
Twilight looked at Applejack with a face that said she didn’t know what to make of what Applejack had just said. “What?”
“Apple Bloom,” Applejack said sternly as she stamped her hoof on the ground. “Why. Is. She. A. Colt?”
Suddenly Twilight’s eyes widened and her entire face seemed to light up with excitement. “Oh my gosh you mean it worked?” She looked like she was about to explode with joy.
Applejack on the other hoof didn’t seem as thrilled as Twilight was at all. “Ah knew ya had somethin’ ta do with this! Ya have five seconds to explain just what the hay ya did ta Apple Bloom!”
“Ok!” Twilight shouted with excitement. She seemed like a young filly who had just been given an entire ice cream truck. “Well just yesterday I thought that I had perfected the gender changing spell. The only problem was that I didn’t have anypony to test it on since Spike didn’t want to for some reason.”
“I happen to like being a boy, thank you very much.” Spike said as he tried to push the bookshelf he had fallen over with back up against the wall.
Twilight rolled her eyes then continued her story. “Then I saw Apple Bloom walking around outside and I asked her if she wanted to be my test subject.” Applejack scowled at Twilight using one of her family members as a lab rat. “She seemed more than happy to accept the job. I brought her into the library and cast the spell on her. Only when I did, nothing happened. At time I thought that I had done something wrong and I needed review my notes again; so I sent Apple Bloom home. But as it turns out that all I had to do was wait for it to take effect." Her face seemed to be turning into a mirror image of Pinkie Pie's. "Is she entirely a colt now or does she just have male genitalia?"
“Twi ah…” Applejack tried to talk but was cut short when Twilight put her hoof to the farm pony’s mouth.
“Hold that thought for a second Applejack!” Twilight said as she scrambled to her desk and grabbed a pen and paper. “I want to write down everything about this. This is one of the greatest breakthroughs in magic in the last decade!”
“That’s great and all Twi,” Applejack tried to interject. “But ah really think ya should…”
Twilight however didn’t even seem to notice her. “It stumped everypony, even me at first! Star Swirl the Bearded recorded some of his notes on the spell but never how he actually did it. I’m not really all that experienced in magical algorithms so I wasn’t sure how to complete the holes. But then there was a Canterlot University professor that published a theory on bodily alteration magic. I just put two and two together and boom there it was!” Twilight’s entire body was practically radiating her excitement and pride.
Applejack felt like she had to keep herself from snapping at Twilight. She took a deep breath and grabbed the unicorn’s hoof. "Twi, ah know yer excited that ya did this and all, but I prefer Apple Bloom to be the gender she was born as; at least until she's old enough to make that sort of decision for herself."
"Of course!" Twilight excited said. "The final step to mastering any charm is being able to reverse it. Just bring her over here and I'll have her back to her old spell in a jiff."
"Um actually Twi, would ya mind comin' to her? Ah really don't think she'll be comfortable goin' out the way she is at the moment."
"Alright suit yourself." The mares walked passed Spike and out the library door. Just before she left, Twilight used her magic to help Spike prop the bookshelf back up. "I'll be back soon."
~
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom sat on his bed staring at Big Macintosh was a very disturbed look on his face. "So that's where foals come from?" He asked in disbelief.
"Eeyup." Big Mac answered. He was not at all prepared to have this conversation, especially with Apple Bloom. But things being the way they were at the moment, he had no choice.
Apple Bloom looked down on the ground. "A-ah think ah liked it better when ah thought they grew on apple trees."
“Ah’m back,” Applejack said as she walked into the room. “And ah’ve brought help.” Twilight soon followed her inside.
“Twilight!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as soon as he saw the unicorn enter the room. “Wait…so is this what that spell ya cast on my last night was supposed to do?”
Applejack glared daggers at Twilight. “Ya didn’t even tell her what ya wer gonna do ta her?”
Twilight blushed sheepishly. “I was afraid that if I did she would say no.”
“Whatever,” Applejack sighed as she put her hoof to her face. “Ah honestly don’t even care anymore. Just change her…him…Apple Bloom back ta normal already.”
“Of course!’ Twilight nodded. She turned to Apple Bloom. “Alright Apple Bloom, I want you to get up and stand over there. The rest of you back up a bit from her…him.” Both Big Mac and Applejack obeyed, giving Twilight plenty of room to cast her spell on Apple Bloom. She bent her head down and focused her magic. The tip of her horn glowed with a bright orb of that that morphed into a straight beam and fired directly at Apple Bloom. The entire room was filled with a blinding flash of light.
When the light cleared, nothing had changed. Apple Bloom still had the body of a colt. He looked all over his body and sighed. “Nothin’ happened Twi…”
“Alright Twi,” Applejack scowled. “Ya cast yer spell, so why is Apple Bloom still a colt?”
“I-I-I don’t know.” Twilight said nervous and confused. “I did everything right, I think. Maybe it’ll just take a while like the first time?”
“What does that mean?” Apple Bloom asked with concern.
“It means that we’re going to just have to wait and see what happens for now. I’m going to go back to the library and look over my notes on this spell. I’ll come back tomorrow and hopefully by then the reversal spell will have taken affect and you’ll be back to your old self.” Twilight nodded to the three of them and showed herself out the door.
“So does this mean ah’m gonna be stuck as a colt for the rest of the day?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Ah’m afraid so.” Applejack sighed.
“Eww!” Apple Bloom shouted as her face contorted into disgust.
“Now what’s got yer hooves up in a tizzy?”
“Colts are gross!” Apple Bloom exclaimed in a disgusted tone. “Ah mean just look at this thing!” He spread his hind legs.
“What did ah tell ya about lettin’ fillies see that?!” Big Macintosh snapped. Apple Bloom blushed and closed his legs.
Applejack shook her head. “Well ah’m sorry ya feel that way sis…ah mean brother. But there’s really nothing else we can do about it. So how about the three of us go down the orchard and get some work done? That’s sure ta take yer mind off of things.”
“Ah guess…” Apple Bloom sighed.
~
Early spring meant that harvesting season was only a couple months away for the Apple family. It also meant that the apples that grew on their trees would be nearing ripeness and be prime targets for all sorts of things that could go wrong and ruin their harvest. So at this time of year the success of Sweet Apple Acre’s crop relay heavily on strict and constant maintenance of the orchard.
Each tree needed to be inspected to make sure its fruit was growing healthy and proper. If even one apple looked like it had caught a disease then the entire tree would have to be marked off and Ponyville’s local botanist would have to be brought in to determine what the problem was; or if he wasn’t available, Fluttershy, who dabbled in the science as a hobby. Then the only thing the Apples could do is pray it wasn’t some disease that threatened to plague their entire crop.
While inspecting the health of each tree the Apple family also had to check to make sure that fruit bats weren’t overstepping their boundaries. They had already lost an entire section of their orchard to those vermin and they were looking like that wasn’t be enough anymore. Occasionally a stray bat or two would be found in one of the trees but they only thing they had to do was shoo it off and it would go back into what Applejack had dubbed The Bat Zone. Though with the amount of them they had been finding lately, Applejack was just about ready to launch a full on war against them.
The apple trees weren’t the only things that needed to be inspected. It was very important to make sure that the wooden fence that marked the borders of Sweet Apple Acres was still strong and sturdy. This was mainly to keep unwanted animals from wandering in and getting lost in the vast orchard, but also to make sure that ponies weren’t sneaking in and stealing the fruits that lay within it as well. Ask any pony in Ponyville and they’ll agree that the local Sweet Apple Acres apples are the best you can get at the marketplace to the point where other ponies don’t even sell attempt other apples anymore. But even though Applejack hates to admit it, not all ponies are completely honest and willing to pay for her fruit. Some ponies without much moral tend to sneak in through the fence and steal an apple or two. This angered Applejack to no end and she would not tolerate anypony she caught doing this.
So the entire family worked away on the orchard’s essential maintenance. All three of them carried a ladder on their backs and used them to climb up the orchard’s trees in order to inspect their fruits and branches. Thankfully every fruit they inspected was healthy and all the bats that happened to be sleeping in the trees flew away without much fuss. Normally when it came time to inspect the fence only Big Macintosh would take the task while Applejack and Apple Bloom would continue to check the fruits. But this time Apple Bloom went with his older brother while he made his rounds.
“Big Mac,” Apple Bloom asked as the two of them traced the inside perimeter of the fence. “What exactly is it like, being a colt and all?”
“Ah’m not exactly sure what ya mean.” Big Mac answered as he gave a section of the fence a tap with his hoof in order to test it.
“Ah mean how different is it from bein’ a filly?” Apple Bloom shook a different section, trying to see if it was loose or not.
Big Macintosh thought for a second on how he was going to answer her question. “At your age? Ah guess it’s just how other ponies will treat ya.”
“What do ya mean?”
“Well when ah was growin’ up ah always noticed that ponies expected me and the other colts ta do more of the hard work and heavy liften’.”
“But Applejack and ah do that kind of stuff all the time.” Apple Bloom looked up at his older brother confused.
“Ah know. On this farm we don’t treat colts and fillies any differently. Heck I still remember when yer sister and ah were tied in our hoof wrestling tournament for the entire summer. Ah’m just sayin’ that ponies will expect ya ta be tougher than the fillies.”
“But hopefully this spell will wear off before tomorrow so ah don’t have ta experience anything like that right?”
“Hopefully.” Big Macintosh pushed a plank in the fence and it fell right off. “Well that one’s broken.”
“Don’t worry,” Apple Bloom said confidently. “Mah tool kit is in the clubhouse. Ah’ll go and grab it then ah’ll have this fixed up in a sec.”
“Eeyup.” Big Macintosh nodded as he went down the fence and continued to inspect it.
Apple Bloom darted off into the orchard and wove past all the trees. A pony who hadn’t been raised here their whole life could get lost in all this apple foliage. Luckily Apple Bloom was the exact opposite. He knew exactly which direction to run no matter where he was to make it to the other side of the orchard in no time at all. As the number of apple trees started to thin out Apple Bloom took a sharp turn and found himself at the treehouse he and his friend used for their meetings and such. His toolbox was all the way in the back corner. Not wanting to waste any time, Apple Bloom climbed the ladder and entered the treehouse.
Coming in this place always brought a smile to Apple Bloom’s face. He couldn’t put his hoof on it, but there was always this odd, yet good, feeling that he got from it. Part of it felt like friendship; like this was a place special to his friends and him. And the other part of it was this strange sense of pride deep inside of him. Though he had help from his friends, Apple Bloom had done most of the work fixing this place up for them to use. Whenever he looked at the results, he felt very proud of himself.
With a smile Apple Bloom shook his head and made his way to the other side of the clubhouse. It was dimly lit because he didn’t bother to turn the lamp on; though he knew exactly where his tools where. When he got to the back corner all he had to do was move around some stuff discarded into a pile and there he found his toolbox. Smiling, he picked it up and was about to leave before he stopped dead in his tracks. A voice was calling up from outside the clubhouse.
“Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo called up. “Are you in there?”