Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash

Dear Dashie,

I don’t know exactly where you are, so I’m just going to tie this letter to a balloon and blow it in Las Pegasus’ direction. I chose this balloon because it’s blue, and also because it’s made with that vinyl you like to rub with your hooves when Twilight is trying to study.

Anyway, I’m writing to tell you that Gilda might not be a special case. I’d heard that the griffons that have their aeries on Mount Reinier make this special ice cream from the snow up there. It’s rumored to be super extra yummy because there is less pressure at the top of the mountain or something. So I sent them a letter and they said they would be happy to trade me some ice cream for something exotic and delicious.

Now, you’d think those griffons would be more relaxed with less pressure, but you’d be wrong! Those are some grumpy griffons! I hopped all the way up there with these soufflés to trade, but I guess the air is different at higher elevations. The soufflés all popped and deflated. I tried to pass them off as crepes, but that didn’t go over so well.

Still, everything was okay until I set the platter down. You see, the thing about mountains is that they are steep, and the thing about snow is that it’s slippery. When I put my platter down, it started sliding. I dove after it, but then I started rolling, and suddenly, I was barreling down the mountain toward their nests.

You know, for being so slippery, snow is also kinda sticky and it all globbed onto me when I was rolling. Suddenly griffons are flying around yelling and I’m rolling around and around, getting bigger and bigger as I go. I think at some point I hit some things, but I couldn’t even see any more after a little while. It was a big ball of snow!

Eventually I hit this big rock and the snow broke apart. When I dug myself out, all these griffons were around me, scowling. I tried to sing them my ‘Tough Times Need Catchy Rhymes” song (you know the one), but I didn’t even get to the chorus before they ‘escorted’ me down the mountain. Jeez! They wouldn’t even let me help put the nests back together again. At least it wasn’t roosting season…

So, yes. Griffons. Huffy. Maybe when I’m done with this hike, I’ll come back with my disguise moustache and throw them a super-fun party with unpopped soufflés this time. It sounds like they could unwind a bit.

With laughter (and some bruises),

Pinkie Pie

June 27th

Dear Pinkie,

Hey, so I found this balloon land in a field near the rec center I’m working at, and I found your letter. Just so you know, I was not avoiding you.

But yeah, attached is my mailing address so that you don’t have to use balloons anymore.

Anyway, about your letter, yeah, griffons aren’t the nicest beasts. They’re the top of their food chain, so their nature is usually confrontational. Also, they’re carnivores, so if you wanted to make peace, you should have offered a dead rabbit or something (don’t tell Fluttershy I said that). As for music, they tend to lean toward their native tribal chants (kind of a mix between electronica and latin soul).

If they weren’t so fast in the air and great in bed, I would’ve never dealt with them.

So hey, if you’re ever travelling out near the desert, feel free to hit me up in Las Pegasus. I really wanna hang out with some ponies while I’m striking it rich. Plus there’s all these magic shows and stuff (Trixie’s working with lions, tigers and bears, how cool is that?).

Sorry if this letter is a little short, but I’m kind of in a hurry. I’m done with flight school for the weekend, so I’m gonna hit the town tonight. Hopefully, that floozy Lady Luck is gonna be on my side.

Remember my offer. Your friend,

Rainbow Dash.

July 6th, 2013

DASHIE!!!

Oh, you did write me back! I’ve been kinda worried that you’d have so much fun with your new friends that you’d forget to write. I checked the mailbox a lot at first, but the hinge broke and I had to have Big Mac fix it. After that, Mrs. Cake said I should take that trip to the Canterberry Streamer Factory I’d been talking about to 'work off some energy'.

So I did, and it was funnerific! Dashie, we've got to go there when everypony gets back! There’s this thing there that I just know you’re gonna love! It’s called the Pegasus Popper, and guess who they modeled it on?! The pony showing us around pulled the string and this little paper you flew out of the tube! It even had rainbow streamers attached to its butt and everything! Ooh, ooh, and then the best thing happened! The little pegasus blew up into rainbow confetti! It looked just like you do when you do the Sonic Rainboom!

It just screamed ‘awesome’! I loved it so much that I ran around and around the room until the guide said we needed a little break. I threw a leg around his shoulder and told him we needed to keep moving while the poppers were still popping, but he just rubbed his temples and said some of the ponies were a little over-stimulated and that we needed a little down time. I’m not sure what he meant, though. Everypony else was just rubbing their foreheads like he was. I thought maybe he was wrong and that they actually needed more energy, so I started belting out a little streamer song I’d been working on, but the guide said there was a strict ‘No Showtunes In the Building’ policy. Weird rule, huh?

Oh, but then I got back to Ponyville and Mrs. Cake forgot all about your letter! She’s had it in her room for days! Well, I ripped the envelope open and started reading it right there in the street, and I read it so hard that I pulled an eye muscle. Nurse Redheart had to give me a patch, so now I look like a pirate! So I went on a raid to the girl’s clubhouse and demanded that they surrender the donuts they bought from Sugarcube Corner to me or else I’d make ‘em walk the plank, yar! Well, they didn’t take that lying down and, well, let’s just say that donuts make good cannonballs! Tasty assaults are the best assaults!

So, anyway, Las Pegasus! I’ve heard they have tons of games there! It’s the gamiest place in all Equestria, and I love games! So what are they into there? Hide and Seek? Twenty Questions? Pin the Tail on the Pony?! How does anypony get any work done? I’d be too busy with all the board games!

And when it comes to griffons, well, I don’t think the Cakes are gonna let me try dead rabbit cupcakes in their kitchen. It might be better if you went with me next time, anyway. I told them I was totally sorry at least ten times, but they said I was full of ‘crepe’ and kicked me off their mountain.

But I’m too busy to go back and ungrump those griffons right now, anyway. I’m off to Confection Perfections in Salt Lick City! I’ve heard that they have candies there that have to be tasted to be believed, and I’m ready to be a believer!

With laughter (and donuts stuck in my tail),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. Wait. You slept with a griffon? Like, in a nest? Was it all pokey inside? They look super scratchy! Well, griffons seem like they'd kinda be grouchy bed-hogs to me, but you’re pretty fearsome, so I guess you could keep them from stealing all the covers. Ooh, now I want to give being fearsome a shot, too! I’m gonna go wait in a bush and pounce on the next pony that comes by!

July 15th

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Heck yeah, there’s games! Although, there’s not really any games you would know.

Like, there’s roulette, where you put a ball in a spinning wheel and try to guess which numbered whole the ball will fall into. I played it with my boss Booster last week and ended up losing all of his bits. He won’t let me use his money anymore.

Sucks about your tour of that factory, by the way. Although, you kinda brought it on yourself. You’re kinda... exuberant (like that word? I heard Twilight use it once. She was talking about you, actually, when she said it).

But yeah, maybe going on a guided tour isn’t something you should be doing for fun. Other ponies on tours can’t keep up with you. Do your own thing at your own pace.

Also, going to see the griffons is... not what I wanna do right now. They’re not pleasant, Pinkie. I don’t think you’re ever gonna make friends with them. You might just wanna make peace with that.

Plus, they don’t even like me. I mean, they used to tolerate me because I was a demon in the sack (...don’t worry about what that means), but they never actually considered me a friend. I’m sure it’s worse now that I’ve told Gilda to take a hike.

...So yeah, no more griffons in my life.

Oh, before I forget, there’s something I need to ask you. I don’t get back for a while, but I’d really like it if you got started on this idea I had for a party.

See, a few days ago, I got this acceptance letter from the Wonderbolts. You wanna know what I did?

I torched that shit, Pinkie. Set it on fire. No more Wonderbolts.

I. Feel. Awesome.

You’re the first I’m telling about this, because I want you to know that when I get back, I want the Pinkie-est Pinkie Pie Party you can muster. I’m talking using your whole arsenal of party canons. Get that DJ I really like. What’s her name? Like, Lyra or something?

It doesn’t matter. The point is, I feel great, and you should too. Hopefully you read this sooner than later, because I want the party to be epic to the max. Write back soon, kay?

With feelings of awesomeness,

Rainbow Dash

P.S.- Griffon coats are really scratchy, but that makes them awesome to grind yourself against.

July 22nd, 2013

Dear Dashie,

Whoa! You burned your Wonderbolts acceptance letter?! Why?! Isn't that your dream, Dashie? You’ve wanted to be a Wonderbolt since, like, ever! Was it because of that time when they strapped you to that big thing that made you all dizzy, because that looked kinda fun to me! That captain pony did seem kinda grouchy, though.

But, now that I think about it, you’re on the weather team, and that’s way more important than the Wonderbolts. I mean, the Wonderbolts come around every once in a while and they’re all zoom! Woosh! all over the place! Then everypony’s jaws drop open and I usually end up getting a bug in my mouth. But the weather team brings sunlight and warm breezes! They bring snow for sliding on and rain for puddle-jumping! When you’re on the weather team, you’re bringing happiness every day to thousands of ponies!

I’m not sure why you don’t want to be a Wonderbolt, but if you’re happy, then we’re happy! I missed you so bad when you went to that academy that I followed Twilight around all over the place telling her all about the time you went to the Wonderbolts Academy and I missed you a lot. It wasn’t too long after that that we went up to see you. Anyway, I’m happy you’ll be around.

Wait, you are going to be around, right? Did you get a better offer?! Are you going to be something better than a Wonderbolt?! Like a SuperDuperTerrificbolt?! Does that mean you’ll be leaving us? Okay, I’m going to start packing as soon as I get back to Ponyville! We'll go together!

Oh, but you wanted a party first thing! Don’t you worry! Pinkie Pie’s on a mission that's got you covered! Don’t tell anypony, but it's a secret mission. It’s like one of those lava cakes. You know, the delicious, chocolate-y ones that have all that super yummy fudge-y goo hidden inside, all melty and warm? It’s like that! The mission is like that chocolate outside part, and the secret is the gooey, yummy part that you discover later! But trust me, when you get back, you’re gonna love it!

I’ll give you a little sneak peek, though. Right now, I’m on my way to Confection Perfections in Salt Lick City. They make candy, but it’s not just plain ol’ boring super delicious candy. It’s experimental! Remember when Twilight thought everypony had stirrup throat because everypony but me had green tongues? Remember how I was cracking up when I told her it was just my jawbreaker? Confection Perfections made that. It was a magical jawbreaker that turns everypony else’s tongue colors instead of your own!

Well, I wrote to them a few weeks ago, and they said I could come and look at all their new, never-eaten-by-a-pony-before candies! I had to sign some waivers and whatever, and agree to try a bunch of stuff without pay, but who needs to get paid to eat candy?! I usually pay them! Hopefully, I’ll pick up some supplies for my secret mission there. I’ve got my night vision goggles just in case!

Oh, and maybe I’ll worry about making friends with the griffons later. I couldn’t think of a good way to ask anypony if they knew where I could get a dead rabbit.

With laughter (and a serious jones for jawbreakers),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. Sorry this letter is so late. Mrs. Cake’s been holding onto my mail when I’ve been out of town and she forgot to give this big stack to me when I got back. I was so excited to get your letter a few days ago that I pulled an eye muscle reading it and Nurse Redheart had to give me an eyepatch for a while. Let's just say I played a lot of pirate-y jokes to ponies until the hospital made me give it back. You could say that I made everypony walk the prank!

August 4th

Dear Pinkie,

Yeah, I know it was my dream and stuff, but... stuff happened. I realized that I care about you girls than being famous and all over Equestria.

I’m not gonna be a superbolt or whatever, I’m gonna teach foals how to fly full time when I get home. Don’t question why, I just wanna do it. That being said, there’s no need for you to pack anything (seriously, I’m not going anywhere, cool your friggin’ jets).

Also... whatever you have planned that requires secrecy... you know what? I’m not even going to think about it. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do when you’re out getting your candy and stuff, okay? I don’t wanna have to get a telegram from a jail in Trottingham or whatever saying that you’re being held without bail. I know it’s like a month or so before we all come back, but I know you. You can create a lot of havoc in that amount of time. It’s what I both love and hate about you... don’t try and think too hard about that.

Anyway, for the last time, stop trying to make friends with the Griffons. I know this is hard for you to understand, Pinkie, so read each word carefully...

They.
Will.
Never.
Like.
You.

And it’s nothing to do with you, well, okay, maybe it’s a lot to do with you, but don’t think there’s anything actually wrong with you. The griffons are just a big pack of jerks, plain and simple. I don’t wanna have to get a letter from you describing how you tried to mail them a giant box of Angel’s brothers and sisters or whatever.

Anyway, work’s been pretty stressful lately, that’s why it’s taken me so long to respond. I’m paying for this by writing back everyone at once. It’s pretty lame, but also nice, because I’m talking to everyone again. Has Rarity written to you at all? I just recently got a letter from her finally, and it seems like she’s having a really bad time out in Baltimare. I’d say aside from you and Fluttershy, the rest of us are having a lot of degrees of suck during this summer, although, I am feeling a lot better than I was a month ago.

Write back soon, Pinkie. Also, stay out of trouble if you can help it.

Your friend,

Rainbow Dash

August 15th

Dear Dashie!!!

Wow, am I tired! I’m in Appleoosa right now at the Pie-oneer Diner, and I can't seem to wake up. So, I’m just sitting here, thinking about my friends and drinking my hot chocolate. I didn't even put in any cream or sugar. Just drinking it black. It’s been that kind of a morning. Plus, I sort of ate all the sugar and drank all the little creamers when I came in.

Last night was the big Radioherd concert they’ve been advertising for a while. I was so ready for that show that I stood in line for a week. I don’t know why it took so long, but finally some other ponies started to show up, which was really good 'cause I was getting pretty hungry. They ended up traded me a couple of ice cream sandwiches and some root beer for my place in line. Good deal, huh? Those ice cream sammies were neapolitan!

So, then these other ponies came, and they had some leftover pizza, so I traded them, too! The next ponies were just so nice that I just let them go ahead of me. Somehow, I ended up in the back of the line, but my tummy was full so that was okay.

I finally got in and the show was super radicalicious! Did I do that right? You always say I don’t say the cool stuff cool enough. I did put on some sunglasses just now, so that should cool it up some. Well, they aren’t exactly sunglasses. They’re more like old-pipe-cleaners-that-I-found-at-the-bottom-of-my-saddlebag-and-that-I-twisted-all-up-into-some-totally-super-freshistically-radtacular-funglasses! I’m really turning some heads in here with my style!

I’d been writing a letter to Twilight at the show, but, well, there were a lot of really excited ponies there. I ended up getting knocked over and sort of stepped on a lot. I’m covered in horseshoe-shaped bruises. They hurt a lot, but I do kinda look like one of Rarity’s designer hoofbags.

Oh, and I have a bone to pick with you girls! Twilight told me all about how you guys made a big mess and had to get together to fix it! If you guys are going to have all this fun making a building for grumpy Las Pegasus ponies that all tap their hooves all the time, then you gotta invite me! I really wanna see Twilight use that boomerang and your rrraaaaawwwwwmmmm-y flying-all-over-the-place noises are the best when you’re flying all over the places with all kind of cool spins and twists and stuff. I can’t believe I missed that! Plus, Applejack made me her Official Tool Holder when I helped her build that silo last spring. She said maybe I should stick to what I’m good at, so Las Pegasus was my time shine, Rainbow!

But I forgive you girls. You were probably in a big hurry with all that hoof-tapping going on, so maybe next time.

One thing I don’t get, though. You’re in a city full of games and your job is to fly all over the place showing ponies how to fly all over the place, so how can you not be loving it there?! Dashie, that should to be a total blast! Are you playing games with cheaters or something? That’s no fun at all.

I guess I should go. This is supposed to be a bottomless cup of hot chocolate, but I think they might be wrong. I keep turning it over, but the bottom is still there. Unfortunately, the table is pretty wet now, and a sorta sticky. It smells really yummy, though! I pointed that out to the waitress, but she just glared at me and asked if it wasn’t time that I settled up the bill. I guess I’ll have to function on twenty-eight cups of hot chocolate. I hope that’s enough to keep me awake the rest of the day.

With laughter (and a big yawn),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. When you say that the griffons with never like me, is that even without the yucky dead rabbit cupcakes? I've been trying out regular cupcakes with two biscotti stuck in the tops. They look pretty rabbit-y to me. Wasn't almond extract one of those things griffons hunted all the time? I think Twilight said that once.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash

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June 24th

Dear Fluttershy,

You’d really like Las Pegasus. It’s not a pegasus town in the slightest. Yeah, I had my suspicions when I first got here, but now, there’s no doubt in my mind. All the pegasi who live here have lost their ways, 'Shy. This is nothing like Cloudsdale.

To start off, I had a real pain of a time trying to find the place where I’m teaching. I was flying around all parts of the city trying to find the rec center, but then, I found out that this place isn’t even in the city. Yeah, apparently, all the pegasi who have families live in these placed called ‘suburbs’. These are a bunch of mass-produced houses put near the oasis outside of the city limits. Everything about them looks incredibly phony (there’s fake grass and flowers) and the colors of the houses are all disgusting shades of pink or light blue.

Wow, now I know how Rarity feels about this stuff. In fact, I think she once talked about these placed. I think she called them ‘little boxes made of ticky-tacky that are all the same’. Needless to say, she’s hit the hammer on the nail big time.

Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to the actual ponies. So I get to the rec center and I meet my boss, an earth pony named Booster. Let me tell you something, this guy is ripped. Like seriously, I thought his neck veins were just gonna pop out at me. It was kind of gross, but also kind of cool.

But yeah, he’s been the only cool part of my day so far, because nothing else has been going on. When I get there, Booster tells me that we aren’t even starting actual training today and instead have orientation for the kids. I dunno about you, but I consider the best way to get somepony orientated to stuff like this is to get them out on the practice field right away, but nope, boring speeches, that’s what these kids get!

Then there’s the parents, and dear sweet Celestia, where do I begin? So during this meet and greet between instructors and parents, all the parents of the pegasi start swarming me and telling me all about these illnesses and petty problems their kids have and what kind of medications they’re taking. It was the weirdest thing, because all of these kids looked pretty healthy. Is there a new plague that kills somepony on the inside only, I mean, what the hay?

So yeah, the kids weren’t even there for a good chunk of the day, because guess what? This is a day camp. Like, did that even exist in Cloudsdale? I’m pretty sure most of us were tough enough to be away from our parents for a few flippin’ weeks (we had each other, what more did we need? Am I right?).

To add onto this craziness, I had to distribute all of these waivers and permission slips for the parents to sign for reasons that are totally dodging me. What exactly can I do to these at a day camp? Honestly.

Ugh, I’m just getting myself ragged now. I need to grab a late lunch. Hopefully, tomorrow won’t be nearly as bad. Write back okay, I wanna be sure everypony else is at least having a good time wherever they are.

Your friend,

Rainbow Dash

June 26, 2013

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m so excited to hear that you made it to Las Pegasus! I was worried about you, because I was concerned that you might not take your water along. But you must have done so, because otherwise you probably would not have made it there, and you’d be... well, let’s not talk about that.

I’m very sorry to hear about all of your troubles so far. If I were there, we’d go to the Butterfly Pavilion so you could calm your nerves, that always helps me calm down. Do they have a Butterfly Pavilion in Las Pegasus? They certainly should, I think every town in Equestria needs one of those.

Then again, maybe they don’t. What you said about the phony grass and flowers irritates me. Oh Rainbow, do you think that’s what they eat there? You’re not being forced to eat fake food, are you? I told you that you should have brought that extra daisy sandwich I made for you. You aren’t starving are you? You know, I don’t mind making the trip down to bring you some extra food, I certainly have plenty here in the cottage.

You just say the word and I’ll come see you, just so long as I don’t have to meet your scary friend, Booster. Though he does sound nice...

As for the young ponies that you have just taken under your wing, I only ask that you be patient. Sometimes your training regiment can be... well, a little less than affectionate. Not that I don’t love the way you teach, I do. When you were teaching me how to fly, I loved it with every bruised muscle and aching bone in my body. And when I was in the doctor’s office getting bandaged for my injuries, you know that I just wanted to be out there being taught by you... granted my injuries were given proper healing time.

Anyway, I know that you might be a little bit out of your comfort zone. But maybe what these ponies need is less of a violent push in the back and more of a gentle nudge in the right direction. Do you understand?

Of course, you don’t have to take my advice. I was only suggesting... it might be useless anyway...

~~Oh, one more thing. Maybe you take them to the Butterfly Pav~~

Keep at it, Rainbow. I know that you’ll do a great job, you’re the best flyer in Equestria after all!

Regarding how I’m doing, I am having a good time, thank you so much for asking. Whinniepeg is very nice this time of year, and the ponies here are very welcoming. It’s almost like they think I’ve lived here my whole life. I was in a lovely little store recently, and they didn’t even look at me strangely after I, accidentally of course, bumped into a lamp on display, and then sincerely apologized to it.

I don’t spend much time in town though. Instead, I like to chat to my new moose friend who showed up at my cottage the other day. He’s very quiet, so I like him. Oh, but I hope that the owners of the place I’m renting don’t mind muddy moose hooves being tracked all over the floor. Maybe I’ll make it a point to go out and pick up cleaning supplies...

Have you ever seen a moose before Rainbow? They’re magnificent creatures. I don’t know if this one has a name, he hasn’t said anything. What do you think I should name him just in case he doesn’t? I like Albert, but maybe you don’t, so I’m not sure.

Oh dear, I should go now. Apparently the candle in the window wasn’t such a good idea; the curtains are on fire.

- With love,
Fluttershy

June 30th

Dear Fluttershy,

Advice for you. Whenever you’re at a casino, don’t accept two-bit martinis, and no, I don’t mean ‘two-bit’ as in they were lousy (although, they weren’t anything to write home about either), but they were only two bits.

So yeah, I didn’t exactly lose most of my cash at the blackjack table.

I’ve been spending the whole weekend nursing this hangover, and now, I’ve finally built up the strength to write some letters. It’s a good thing that I wasn’t near any paper when I was drunk, or I might have said some stuff I might regret (don’t worry, nothing about you personally).

In answer to your question, no, I’ve never seen a moose. Although, from what I’ve heard, they don’t really sound any awesome, so I’m not really interested. I do know that they’re pretty big though, which brings me to my next point. If you can hang out with a big moose okay, then you shouldn’t have any problem talking to Booster. The dude wouldn’t hurt a fly... I mean, unless he’s in a boxing ring. You should see him fight, Fluttershy. He’s amazing. I got a peek of him giving lessons on Thursday, and it got me pumped! I just gotta get him to teach me some stuff.

Anyway, so if ever you do wanna swing by Las Pegasus, you really gotta meet Booster. It’s probably the only thing you’d like in this town. I checked, there’s no Butterfly Pavillion, which doesn’t surprise me. Everything in both the cities and suburbs is fake. They don’t even eat flowers and grass, they eat this awful processed garbage that comes in boxes from Detrot or something. I need to figure out how to make sure the kids eat something right before I’m done around here.

I did manage to find a store that sells natural stuff in the suburbs, but the stuff is really expensive. I may need to press my luck at the Casinos more to rake up some grocery money.

Also, about the kids, don't worry. They love me (which really isn't a surprise). I just gotta find a way to get them some extra training without their stupid parents knowing. Maybe Booster can find out. Either way, I've got the drive now to change these kids and show them what it means to be a pegasus.

...Now, if only I can remember their names...

Hope things are going good, and hopefully, you got that fire put out.

Stay in touch,

Rainbow Dash

July 3, 2013

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Do you mind if I ask a personal question?

Oh dear, this whole letter writing thing would work much better if it could send faster. Somepony should get on inventing a thing like that.

No, but in all seriousness, do you mind? I won’t ask it if you prefer I didn’t...

Please respond with your answer.

- With love,
Fluttershy

July 3, 2013

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I would like to apologize if the last letter seemed at all brash. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, that would be just awful.

Please disregard the first letter if it seemed in any way an attempt to pry into your personal life. If you don’t want to answer a personal question, then you shouldn’t need to, end of story.

But if you’ll still allow it, please respond.

Unless you don’t want to.

- With love,
Fluttershy

P.S.- Don’t respond if you don’t want to, I’ll write you a normal letter.

July 3, 2013

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m so very sorry, I just couldn’t take it. I’d like to ask you that question if you don’t mind. And if you do mind, then I’m oh so very sorry, and please don’t take it personally, and I hope that we can still be friends.

Okay. Here goes.

Rainbow, you aren’t drinking and gambling there in Las Pegasus, are you?

Not that I’m judging you! Oh, not at all, it’s nothing like that! I’m just worried about you. Drinking and gambling are very dangerous hobbies (especially when done at the same time), and you know how I get when it comes to dangerous things.

I hope that you are taking care of yourself. You need to be in tip-top shape in order to keep pace with your job, I’m sure of it. I see that you have at least found a nice place to shop for groceries, so that’s good. Have you been eating right? Are you getting enough sleep? Tell me you’re doing all right?

I’ll try not to worry so much in the meantime.

Anyway, on a different note, I’d like to know more about these kids that you’re teaching. There has to be a few of them that you like, after all, there’s a little bit of good in everybody, right?

Also, maybe I will take you up on meeting your friend Booster. However, I am very sorry to say that the rest of my entire vacation has become booked, and that I might not make it now. Isn’t it funny how that works...

Oh Rainbow! You’re so very wrong about the moose. They’re astounding creatures, and surprisingly very good at Twister. Just an update, I have decided upon the name Albert. If you don’t like that name, then, well, I apologize.

Today Albert and I went into the forest (I’m basically living right inside of it!) so that we could look at the local wildlife. We found a small pond in a clearing of trees, and boy was it breathtaking. There were all sorts of lotus and lilies floating around for the dragonflies and frogs to play with. There were butterflies and beavers and otters and chickadees and woodpeckers and geese! I ended up going for a short swim. Oh you would have loved it, it was marvelous.

Anyway, that’s about all I have for now. I’ll keep you updated for certain.

Can you tell me a little bit more about your stay in Las Pegasus? I would love to know all that you’ve been up to. In fact, I’m just itching for news. Have you been talking to the girls at all?

Please respond as soon as possible! Oh, right, unless you don’t want to, I almost forgot (sorry).

- With love,
Fluttershy

P.S.- We did put that fire out, thank you for asking. The new drapes don’t exactly match the carpet, but I don’t think the owners will notice. They don’t really visit anymore. In any sense, I’m happy to know that you’re always looking out for my well-being.

July 14th

Dear Fluttershy,

Okay, so I get like three letters from you in the mail, and I figured, ‘Oh, she must have written a bunch of letters over the last few weeks.’

Instead, you get so ~~flustered~~ (gotta find a better word) and stuff worried about nothing.

I need to make this clear, Shy: nothing you say can ever upset me or come off as brash.

Literally. Nothing.

And even if you did upset me with what you said, I could never hate you for it. Come on, Flutters, you know me. None of us could ever hate you. So just don’t worry so much about upsetting us in your letters, okay? Okay.

Anyway, about your question, yes, I am doing some drinking and gambling. It’s Las Pegasus and I’ve made some buddies, whaddya expect?

But yeah, I am being... okay, careful might not be the best word, but I’m with friends who know how to be careful for me. Booster’s become my best bud out here (just in Las Pegasus, you girls will be my #1 chicas), and he’s kept me on the up and up.

I do try to eat from that grocery store, but it’s pretty damn expensive. Luckily, I told AJ about it and she sent me some oranges. I should be pretty good for a while. I need to not spend anymore money so that I’ll have enough for a night on the town when AJ and Twilight come over.

...Oh yeah, that’s right. AJ and Twi are visiting me in Las Pegasus on Thursday. Pretty cool, huh? They’re coming because... eh, it’s not really important. They’re just coming because they had the time. It should be... fun. Yeah, fun.

Sucks that you’re busy, by the way. Though, I’m sure you’re having fun, or, what you call ‘fun’, anyway. What do mooses look like anyway? I had this dream last night where you were riding a giant something. It was supposed to be a moose, but I have no idea what they look like, so I took

But yeah, I’m enjoying myself in Las Pegasus. Yesterday, I went out into the desert with Booster and his buddies (one of them is actually named Gun Show, can you believe that?). We rode in these things called sandrails that were kinda cool, but couldn’t hold a candle to go-karts.

That’s really all for now. I gotta get up for work in the morning, then I have to figure out how to throw some cash together for AJ and Twi. Write back soon.

Your pal,

Rainbow Dash

P.S.- I could totally kick that Moose’s ass at Twister.

July 18, 2013

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m very sorry about all of those letters that I’ve sent. I do get ever so worried about very minor things, it’s true. I’m a mess sometimes- just yesterday I hid under the covers for a good hour when some very frightening thunderclaps rolled through. I am trying to be brave though, just like you taught me, promise.

Anyway, I’m glad that those extra letters didn’t bother you too much, and thank you for the encouragement, I really needed it...

So our search for Albert’s (my moose friend) family in the woods was a complete disaster. I’m sorry if I don’t seem like my usual self in this letter, Rainbow, I’m just so drained from the search. Oh wait, that’s right, you don’t know anything about it... allow me to fill you in.

So Albert is staying at my cottage because he’s lost his way, as he and his family were separated on the way into Whinniepeg. Of course, after hearing his heartbreaking story, I just had to help reunite him with his family. I planned a trek into the woods to look for clues as to their whereabouts, thinking they couldn’t have gone too far. Oh, how naive I was. We set out three days ago to find them, but we had no luck at all. We couldn’t even find a moose print in the mud, and we spent three long days out there.

Oh, I can’t stand to talk about it. Please, can we talk about something else? I’d like that very much.

~~Princess~~ Twilight and Applejack are visiting you in Las Pegasus? That sounds lovely. It’d be nice to see the girls again, only if for a night. I hope that you girls will stay safe there, I hear that town can be quite dangerous. Rarity says that it’s full of awful drama, and the stallions get drunk and call girls or something along those lines. I don’t know, but it sounds dangerous, so be sure to keep the girls safe please, will you?

How long are the girls staying for? And will you guys be eating well enough with the whole food shortage thing? (Also, I’m sure that Booster is a nice pony and all, I’m very sure because you say he is, but please if you introduce him to the girls don’t let Booster eat them... not that he would... but if he would, then don’t let him.)

Why are the girls visiting, if I may ask? Last I heard, Applejack was getting worked to the bone and Twilight had a lot of royal duties to tend to. She also asked if I could write a song for her because she was, well, doing science I guess. Did she ask you as well? I think she said something about you. Can you send me your song if you did write one? I’m struggling and I could use some inspiration! Oh, but of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m not pressuring you or anything. Don’t think that I am.

Oh my, I’m off topic. I’m sorry for all the questions, I hope they don’t bother you too much, even though you say you can’t be bothered. I’d just like to know what the special occasion is... if you’d let me in on it, that is. If it’s a secret and I’m not supposed to know, that’s fine, I guess.

Glad to see you’re having fun in Las Pegasus and you’re staying (relatively) safe. Please write back with all the news on the girl’s visit soon... if you want to.

- With love,
Fluttershy

August 4th

Hey Flutters,

Sorry this took me a while to respond. Work really whipped me this week. I had gotten all the kids in the air a week before, so this week I tried showing them some more complex moves and teaching them how to come up with tricks on their own. It was kind of brutal, kids crashing and everything. Now, I know why Booster made the parents sign all those waivers and permission slips.

Still though, none of the kids are seriously hurt, and it’s still miles away safer than when we were kids in Cloudsdale. The benefit of being on the ground is that there’s no way a kid could fall thousands of feet to their death. You know, kind of what almost happened to you? Man, if that had happened today, Cloudsdale would be so sued.

But yeah, I’m seeing that we’re all being whipped by our stuff. Sucks about that search, by the way. It’s a good thing you and your moose are safe though, so that’s good for something. As for the rest, Rarity seems to be deep in some drama (has she written to you?), and Pinkie... man, I don’t even know what’s going on through her head. It’s Pinkie Pie though, so... yeah.

As for AJ and Twilight, they’re not faring too good either. They’re both stuck with a bunch of froufrou parties that they have to go to. I just know they wish I was there to make everything awesome, as I usually do.

Oh yeah, I should probably tell you about their visit. Well, see, the reason they came here was because of some personal stuff. It’s all behind us now, but yeah, some words were said, and some feelings were revealed. I took them out to eat somewhere, and then we just turned in. I didn’t have the money to do much else (I need to go all-out for my last night here).

But that’s not the end of the story. After their visit... we’re now all sort-of dating, like all three of us.

...Yeah, I don’t really get it either. The sex is pretty good, though, so I’m not one to complain. I miss them a whole lot, just like I miss the rest of you.

It’s just for AJ and Twi, I l... lo... lolo... nope, can’t say it.

So hopefully, things turn out better for you and Alfred, and if you can’t find his family, I’m sure Ponyville would love to have a moose hanging around (I need to know what one looks, so if ever I dream about you riding a moose again, it’ll actually look like a moose).

Write back soon,

Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy

View Online

June 24th, 2013

Dear Fluttershy,

How's it going in Whinnipeg? You’ve probably made friends with all the animals by now. Are you planning on bringing any of them back with you? I asked Twilight before she left and she said they have a lot of moose (Moose? Mooses? Moosii?) up there. See if you can convince one of the chocolate ones to come, like one on the train ride we took with the MMMM. Or at least a chocolate wolverine.

So, don't panic or anything, but, um, is anypony checking in on Discord while you’re out? Right now, your cottage is floating over Ponyville. I think that’s kinda neat, but the Mayor doesn’t seem to like it very much. The good news is that it hasn’t hit anything yet. Actually, it looks pretty serene up there, just gently blowing with the breeze. They sent up Derpy and Cloudchaser to check it out.

So, in non-house news, Applejack said she wrote you about alligator problems, but don't you worry your pretty little head about it! I didn’t want her to have to bother you on your vacation. I said she should either play some really good polka to get them in a really good mood, or, if that doesn't work, make a pony out of taffy to keep their jaws occupied. Who doesn’t love taffy? So, you just sit back. Pinkie Pie’s got it covered.

As for me, I’ve been running around Equestria on a mission. A tasty mission. That’s all I can really say. It’s a secret project where the secret to success is keeping it secret. I think ‘extrafunriffictastic’ and ‘so great that you’ll need to seriously hug a pink pony’ are probably the first to things you'll think of when you see it.

Tomorrow, I’m headed out to Canterberry for a guided tour of their streamer factory. They’ve scientifically engineered their streamers to stream better! In the Party Sciences, we call this the Festivity Parabola Equation. You see, for optimum joy, streamers must bend into just the right arcs. No one likes a straight streamer that’s just hanging there. That’s boring! A streamer needs to twist and curl and flow like a river of fun! Canterberry Streamers has really been on the cutting edge of the research. They are innovators in the field.

I tried to talk to Twilight about all of this a few months ago, but she seemed to think correspondence courses from Professor Fetlock’s University of the Celebratory Arts and Sciences didn’t really count. I showed her a brochure and everything, but she wasn't impressed. I figured she would flip over it, but she didn’t like the courses. I thought Advanced Mime Techniques and Puns and Society through History all sounded great! Some ponies, huh? What’re you gonna do?

I gotta run, but please write me back at Sugarcube Corner! I’m jumping up and down because I’m so eager to hear from you! Jumping and writing is hard! Sorry if the words are a little wiggly.

With laughter (and an eye on a floating cottage),

Pinkie Pie

July 1, 2013

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Thanks for asking about my vacation here in Whinniepeg. While it is very true that I have made friends with quite a few of the animals here, I think that it is a stretch to say that I am friends with all of them. That would be very hard to do, as I would have to, well, meet all of them...

There’s a lot of them here, if you didn’t know that.

While I haven’t met all of the animals here in Whinniepeg, I most definitely have met a wonderful moose friend. He’s great company; we play board games and sip tea and do all kinds of neat things. Unfortunately, he’s rather clumsy, so I do have to help him with most of the activities we do, but I don’t really mind even still. He’s very good at Twister, which was rather surprising.

I will keep an eye out for any chocolate animals. I’m not so sure, but it has been very hot recently, and I run across a lot of what look like mud puddles from time to time. I do hope that the chocolate animals have found a nice freezer somewhere rather than they be walking around in the terrible heat.

Oh and don’t you worry about Discord! He’s a friend now, I can see it inside of him that he’s changed. I am positive that he and the Princesses are getting along quite well. And if he were acting out, you know very well that little old Fluttershy would be there to give him a stern talk, and you know what happens to a pony after one of those talks...

I am going to trust that your advice for Applejack was sound, and was not something that would get her ruthlessly killed. I hope that you don’t mind, but I also sent Applejack some of my own advice, so I guess now she has double the ideas! Oh dear, I hope that doesn’t confuse her too much.

Your trip sounds like it has been very nice so far! I’m very excited to hear about this mission of yours, how long does it have to stay a secret? I’m very good with keeping secrets, you know, just ask Twilight.

On second thought, don’t ask Twilight.

You don’t have to tell me about your secret mission if you don’t want to, but do tell me all about the Streamer Factory when you get the chance. It sounds very colorful, and I bet the tour was something to dream about. I don’t know much about the science of streamers (actually, I didn’t know there was a science at all), but maybe that’s something I should read up on. I’m very sorry that Twilight didn’t like it, but I suppose that it just isn’t everypony’s cup of tea.

The last few lines were difficult to read, and I’m very sorry to say that I couldn’t read them. Not that there’s anything wrong with your hoofwriting, it had been lovely up to that point. Nothing bad happened as you were writing it, right? Oh, I certainly hope not. Was that last part important? I mean, of course it was important, everything you say is important, I just-

You know what, just write back as soon as you can so that I can know if you are okay.

- With love,

Fluttershy

July 8th, 2013

Dear Fluttershy,

I wish you were here! I’m in the middle of all these wildflowers and it’s like a color cannon went ‘kablam’ and cast chromatic chaos completely across this meadow! There’s chirping birds and big, fat bumblebees everywhere. I just know you’d love it! Plus, this grass is nice and soft. I was rolling back and forth in it just now, but I got too dizzy, so I decided to write for a little while.

Sorry that this letter is late. Mrs. Cake had a whole pile of them up in her room that she forgot to give me when I got back to Ponyville. I was just hanging around in the kitchen, sighing and poking at the pie dough with my hoof, when she just ran off all of a sudden and came back with this HUGE stack of letters! Then,she said that letters from friends read better in the sunlight and pushed me out the back door.

Well, she was right! I sat right down in the road (some ponies get so huffy when you read letters in the road!) and opened those letters up! I actually read Rainbow’s letter so hard that I pulled an eye muscle! Nurse Redheart gave me an eye patch, so I sailed to the girl’s clubhouse and demanded that they surrender the donuts they bought earlier at Sugarcube Corner to me, or else walk the plank! Well, a donut shot out from the clubhouse and splatted right on my forehead! Thus began the Great Ponyville Donut War! By the end, we didn’t have any donuts, but we were laughing so hard that we couldn’t breathe. I still have some frosting in my tail, but I’m saving that for when I get hungry.

Ooh, but I’ve got to tell you about what just happened! So, I was walking by this super-sparkly lake when I ran into a family of otters.They were sliding down this muddy hill, and then running back up and sliding again! Well, you know how much I love sliding! I threw off my saddlebags and dove right in there! Those otters were pretty surprised, but after a minute or two, they got really excited and started chattering away at each other. Pretty soon, we were all sliding around together, and crashing into the water at the bottom with these huge splashes! I got so muddy that instead of a Pinkie Pie, I was a Brownie Pie! Oh, now I’m hungry…

Anyway, we were all having a blast when this stallion trots up and tells me that we all have to leave by the order of Princess Celestia. I thought that was pretty weird, but he had this stamped document saying that the lake and the surrounding land needed to be cleared out for development. He said that all the otters and the other animals had to go and that it was his job to make sure it happened.

Well, that sounded pretty mean to me, but the princess has to make some tough decisions sometimes, so I tried to remember some of the otter you taught me that one time. In the end, they all got the gist and we shuffled off. The poor otters looked so sad with their little tails just dragging on the ground. It was so depressing that I couldn’t even think up a good song to cheer them up.

But then I remembered that I’d left my saddlebags, and I had to go back! When I got to the Sliding Hill, that stallion was still there, but he was laughing all villainishly with a couple of other ponies. He sounded pretty iffy, so I jumped in a bush and waited. You know what he said? He said that the letter from Celestia was a fake, but that it didn’t matter! I guess if the land around the lake is vacant, then it can be developed by anyone! They were laughing about all the ponies and animals that they had scared off the land and that they were going to make a ton of bits from it!

That made me remember when Flim and Flam tried to kick the Apples off of their farm, and how well all pitched in to help them. I ran right back to the otters and told them what was going on! Well, either that, or that I was a giant duck. Like I said, my otter’s a little rusty, so tried to act out a lot of it. Anyway, they ran off to tell the other forest animals, and suddenly there was this whole wilderness army assembling! There was even another pony that showed up! His name was Forest Glen, and he said they had kicked him out of his house, too. He looked pretty mad when I told him their plan. He took off so fast that he did that thing that Rainbow does sometimes! You know, where she runs in place for a few seconds and then takes off like a shot! I love it when she does that! He yelled back something about getting some guards.

So, the animals and I all rolled in the mud for a while and had a good time sticking leaves to each other, and then we all snuck back to the Sliding Hill. You should have seen the looks on those ponies faces when a huge herd of otters, beavers, ducks, deer, and one Pinkie Pie, all covered in mud and leaves, came bursting out of the bushes. The ducks divebombed them, and then the otters knocked them down the Sliding Hill, when they got to the bottom, the beavers would whack them with their tails and knock them back up the hills again! The deer… well, deer are pretty gentle. They just cheered on the sidelines.

Meanwhile, I got ahold of that letter, and you know what? I’m pretty sure it was a fake! I mean, when has Celestia put her seal down in crayon? I made sure to tuck it into my saddlebag, just in case.

The ponies were getting bruised up pretty bad, and I was trying to tell the animals to cut it out, when the guards galloped up. And Princess Celestia was with them! I guess she was visiting the nearby town and heard about the commotion. Those mean ponies ran right up and gave themselves to the guards. They were real eager to get away from the animals!

You should have seen the princess! She was really mad! She declared that the whole lake area was now a nature preserve and told Forest Glen his was free to live in is house there as long as he wanted to, but that she’s love it if he would be the ranger.

Fluttershy, he was beaming! He said it was his dream to care for the forest and the animals! I was so happy for him that I jumped up and gave him this big hug, which might have been a little too big because we fell over. Then I gave Celestia a big hug, but I forgot I was all muddy. I think she looked kinda good with all those leaves stuck to her, though. Like, she was Celestia, Queen of the Jungle!

During all of that hugging, those ponies tried to sneak away, but the animals surrounded them. Celestia got that serious look she gets sometimes, and she sentenced them to work under Forest Glen for a year and learn how to appreciate the lake and the forest. They looked like they were gonna argue, but the beavers got their tails ready, and, well, I guess it didn’t seem so bad to them anymore.

Well, that called for a celebration, so we all went back to the Sliding Hill and spending the rest of the afternoon getting wet and muddy and tired! I even got Princess Celestia to go a few times, and even she was cracking up! I gotta say, otters really know how to live!

So that’s what I’ve been up to. Oh, you wanted to know about the streamer factory! Fluttershy, it was fun, fun, fun! I’ll fill you in on all the details when you get back, but they have streamers for every occasion! Edible streamers in case you run out of snacks! Waterproof streamers that you can put in real streams! They even had a popper that fired out a little paper Rainbow Dash that did a tiny Sonic Rainboom! It was amazing! They have a guided tour, so we should all go when we everypony gets back. But, I’ll warn you, they have a strict ‘No Singing or Dancing’ policy there. Not sure what that’s all about…

Oh, and Applejack wrote me and said that her alligator problem is fixed now, so I guess we did it! That’s why we make a great team! I make ‘em laugh and you’re yellow! We can’t go wrong!

Anyway, this letter is getting kinda long and hoof is getting a little crampy. I’m on my way to Confection Perfections in Salt Lick City, so I’ll fill you in on all the amazing candy they have there when I get a chance, and you know I’m dying to know what you are up to in Whinniepeg! The fun meter is in for some abuse when Fluttershy is on the loose with a moose in the spruce!

With laughter (and mud in my hooves),

Pinkie Pie

July 15, 2013

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Oh my, all that commotion going on sounds just awful. I can’t believe that those dreadful stallions were trying to take all those animals away from their homes! Why, if I would have been there, I would have given them a piece of my mind so big they’d have had nothing more to do but pack up and leave themselves!

This makes me so angry! Not angry at you at all, Pinkie, I’d never be mad at you, I promise. Sorry if that was confusing. I’m just very upset that I was not there to protect the animal’s homes like I was supposed to. I just knew I shouldn’t have left them with no one to watch over them!

The nerve of some ponies. I’m glad Celestia and Forest Glen were there to see to it or else hundreds of homes might have been destroyed. Could you imagine? Oh, I don’t even want to think about that. How could anypony want to do that to those poor little otters? I feel sick, and I’d rather not think about it, if you don’t mind...

Thanks so much for playing with the otters and being there to help them out. I’m sure that they might have been very lost without you, and it’s great that they had a friend there to keep them safe and sound.

I actually know Forest, and I’m sure he’s looking after the lake and the brand new nature park very well. This is very exciting news, I can’t wait to get back and see how the area around the lake improves. It was already so nice to begin with, but I’m sure Forest could make it look even better still.

Anyway, it’s great that you’re having fun, Pinkie. I’ve had my share of fun up here as well, what with Albert staying here and everything. I’m sorry to say that we haven’t found his family yet, but we haven’t given up, and I think he likes my company. I can see us staying in touch once we reunite them.

I’m sorry to cut the letter so short, I’ve got a few things to get back to. But please write back soon. I’d love to hear all about Confection Perfections, you know I would.

- With love,
Fluttershy

August 20th

Dear Fluttershy,

Didja ever go to Fort Troterdale? I heard some stallion say it was a real party city, so I had to check it out! I mean, a whole city that’s nothing but one ginormous party? That’s Pinkie Central!

That’s what I thought, anyway, but these ponies have some kooky ideas about partying.

When I first got off the train, I ran around all over the place looking at stuff. Everything’s in these bright colors, and there were ponies going “Woooooooooooooooo!” all over the place with funny hats on. Fluttershy, I’ve been slacking! I usually just go with those pointy party hats with the rubber band on them, but these ponies had these funriffic hats with cup holders and straws that went in your mouth! They even had sirens on them! You could have two cups of punch and a piece of cake in each hoof! That’s taking partying to the next level! And I could wear it next time Rarity has one of those garden parties where she says I have to wear a real hat! What's more real than having your own siren?

So I ran into this woobly stallion who was on the beach laughing at the seagulls. I think seagulls are funny too, so I figured he knew how to have a good time. I asked him where I should go to get into the party and he was all “You wanna party, babe? Stick with me!” except is sounded more like “Yoooo wanna (hiccup) par’y, babe? Schtick wi’ meeeeeeeeeeee!” He was kind of falling over a lot, but I guess parties here are pretty tiring. Like I said, I gotta up my game!

We went to this bar called “In Heat” and I totally get why they’d call it that. It’s like over ninety million degrees here all the time and it was even hotter inside! I was really worried that their ice cream would be all melty, but they didn’t even have any. I guess that makes sense 'cause it's so hot, but what kind of party doesn’t have ice cream?!

I kept looking for the cake, but I kinda missed exactly where the party was in there. It looked more riot-y to me. We’d barely gotten in when somepony started yelling about a wet T-shirt contest and Frat Rush (that wobbly stallion I went with) pushed me up on stage with a bunch of other mares. I tried to ask this older mare where the punch was, but she just popped a shirt over my head and told me to put my legs through it.

Well, I’m always down for a good party game, so I just went with it, but all of a sudden they were spraying us with water! I thought that was sorta mean, but it was really hot in there, so I didn’t complain. All the stallions in there went nuts though! I couldn’t even tell which one of us was winning! Actually, I still didn’t even know what the game was!

Then this music came on and they wanted us to dance. So I tried a little tap routine, but they started yelling something about ‘shakin’ my booty’. You girls know I can really shake some tail, so I turned around and got all wiggly-waggly, and the place erupted! I guess they really like dancing here!

So Frat Rush pulled me back off stage and said it was time for shots. You know how much I hate going to the doctor, so I tried to make a run for it, but there were so many ponies in there! I kept getting turned around and eventually I ended up back where I started and Frat pushed this tiny little glass into my hand!

Fluttershy, you’d have loved it! I was the teenyweenyest glass ever and it was filled with ginger ale! At least I thought it was ginger ale, but when I asked, Frat Rush just started cracking up and told me it was something called Tackilla.

Frat said it was hard alcohol and I can see why! It’s really hard to drink! Remember when I tasted that rainbow puddle in Cloudsdale? Yeah, it was like that. Really spicy! It made my nose burn and my breath got real wheezy and coughy. Frat Rush called me a lightweight, which I thought was really nice. And Rarity always says I eat too much candy! Pfft.

It was getting pretty late at that point and Frat Rush must have been tired because he really wanted me to go back to his hotel with him. I know Rarity's really picky about them, but a hotel's a hotel to me, so I was just gonna get a room there, but I guess he was sleepier than he realized because he fell over into some bushes and started snoring. I tried to wake him up again, but he was really… bushed! Get it?! I didn’t know what to do, so I just covered him up with some newspapers in case it got colder.

I wish we had gotten to the party, though! I kept waiting for us to leave that bar and find one, but maybe he was just too worn out. There’s always tomorrow, I guess.

Oh, and those otters say hi. Or I guess they do. I got a piece of paper from Forest Glen that just had a bunch of muddly paw prints on it, so I guess they are doing okay.

With laughter (and a damp T-shirt),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. You’re letter says July 15th, but I just got it! Something weird is going on with the mail. I asked Derpy about it before I left, and she said a lot of the mail ponies are really tired from going back a forth with letters from Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack, so they’ve kinda let things pile up. I guess they’ve been writing a lot of letters.

Applejack and Rarity

View Online

Dearest Applejack,

I am writing this from the train on the way to Baltimare, so I must begin by apologizing for the occasional misformed letter, due to the movement of the train. (It's not as though my horn writing is anything less than as impeccable as it always is—may this be clear.)

Alas, I fear even the most moving and engaging of romance novels can become stale after so many hours, so I find myself pulling out parchment to write a letter to pass the time. It's such a dreadfully long train ride, and there is next to nothing to do to pass the time, and I am sorely lacking in company to aid in that manner. Not that the destination is something that I'm looking forward to terribly either. Oh, I mean to say—or rather, it's not as though I mean to say—that it is not solely from boredom that I desire to write to you. I mean, it is not boredom—though truthfully I am terribly bored—that is the primary reason I wish to contact you. I don't even have the slightest hint of what sort of costumes I am to be designing, so I can't even start on that. So this is just the immediate reason that I contact you at this moment. On the train. Though you won't be receiving this letter until long after I am off the train...

...I'm all over the place aren't I? I fear I am in a bit of a state.

Allow me to start fresh.

No matter how I seek to replay in my mind the events of the past week that lead me here, I cannot help but come to the conclusion that I have been nothing short of conned into this situation. I am a fashionista—and here I am, being shipped off to the (if you'll pardon the term) boonies to create costumes. If it wasn't far too crass for a lady such as myself to (once again, no offense intended) spit, I'm sure I'd do so every time the word crosses my lips. It is right on the precipice of being insulting to ask as much of me—costumes! Really! Of course, since it was Fancy Pants who suggested it (and he is such a dear), I fear I am left even without a specific party on which I can place the blame—and I am left swimming in directionless woe; I am doomed to this fate, of which I had no say—is the situation I now find myself.

I have only been told the most basic of basics about the play that is to be put on, no less—it is one of Shakespeare's plays. That is all the information I have to go on. I will have my first proper communication with the director upon my arrival—I fear the worst. The only small bit of fortune I could see at the distant end of this mess, is one where I am in charge of designing dresses set in that period: it would be almost passable for someone of my skill and sensibilities to design most spectacular dresses of the Elizabethan era—though I hear that it is, apparently, the trend to “update” the plays, setting them in various different eras, so even of that I cannot be sure.

Ah, but I've done nothing but list my complaints—I must thank you for bearing with me up to this point (assuming, of course, that you have—though truly of this I have little doubt, and it is why this letter has been addressed to you.) There is no pony that I would think of, before you, to place on the receiving end of my foul mood.

Enough about me, though. How about yourself? You're at Palomino Beach—oh how I'd love to visit there one day. All the class and sophistication—ponies who really know the art of pampering onesself, am I wrong? Ah, of course, if anypony could make such a place sound undesirable, I'm sure it is you—I look forward to your response, in which I'm sure you'll do your utmost to clear up any sort of jealousy I may now possess about your destination compared to mine.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

P.S. Upon a second read-through of this letter, I fear that the last paragraph I have written, and possibly the one(s) before it, could very well have the potential to be congrued in a manner that I did not intend for—namely: in a way that, perhaps, may seem presumptuous of me, and may in some way convey offence to you; I assure you that is not how it is meant to be read, and is not my intention at all. Now, I fear writing while in motion is causing me slight distress to my stomach, so I will leave it at that.

Dear Rarity,

I’m real sorry you’re feeling like that, sugarcube. I mean, I’m sure it’s hard, not getting to make the right kind of fancy dresses... That’s what all that’s about, ain’t it?

But the kind of fancy dresses you make for this play are gonna be the best fancy dresses those ponies ever did see! In fact, I bet those costumes are so good, ponies’ll want to wear ‘em as the right kind of fancy dresses. Unless that ain't what it was about. There was an awful lot of starting and stopping there.

Darn it, Rarity, you know you make everypony look like a million bits. It's gonna be fine.

I know you wanna hear all about how classy this place is, so I’ll try and tell a bit about that. If it sounds like I’m rolling my eyes... well, just pretend I ain’t, okay?

So, I’m staying at the Oranges place, Sunny Grove Farm. There’s a bunch of orange trees and things you don’t care about, but the house is real big and cushy, for when Aunt and Uncle Orange come stay. All the rooms are about three times as big as they oughta be, and everything’s painted all white and light colors. It’d be a pain in the tail to keep clean, but they got a pony that comes in just to do that... I’d be lying if I said that’s not kinda nice.

Outside the house, besides the farm, there’s a big old swimming pool. They need it here, too, it gets awful hot. Not that I’ve had a chance to use it yet, there’s plenty work to be done, but I gotta say one of these days I’ll be taking a dip. Especially since old Toothy’s living in the lake. He’s the gator. Don’t ask.

Anyhow, they got tennis courts here too, and everything’s planted with these great big flowers in all sorts of colors. It’s just the kinda place you’d like.

As for the town, well, I just walked through it on my way from the train station so far. It’s about as fancy as you could ask for. All the shops look like the stuff would cost a bunch of bits, and all the ponies look like they got a bunch of bits, so I guess that works out. Most of the mares are wearing big hats and sunglasses, and the stallions look like they’re gonna play tennis. Don’t think they are, though. I think they just like looking like it.

I’ll tell you more about that on my next day off. Dash said I oughta go to the beach and learn to surf, and I’m thinking that sounds like a fine idea, so I’ll be going through the town again.

I guess I’m starting to miss folks now. I’m trying to be cheerful, but it’s kinda hard when there’s nopony around to cheer you up. But, I guess I gotta do it, so I can make it through the summer without losing my mind, and so I can show the lazy pony I’m training to manage this place how it’s done. I’m hoping that if I show him I’m his friend, and how much fun a good days work can be, he’ll come around. I don’t know that it’s working, but I’ll give it another few days.

I’m sitting here hoping you’ll cheer up some yourself, when you got a sewing machine and some fabric in front of you. Let’s keep looking on the bright side.

Your friend,

Applejack

Dearest Applejack,

Well, it certainly sounds as if in many respects you will be quite at home there, I'm happy to hear that. As you yourself advised me, we will be home soon, there is no sense in moping about. I have decided, for my part, to take in the local culture, such as it is.

There is a certain charm to the city, it is a huge sprawling mass of ponies. As such the architectural styles vary greatly. I have actually found some buildings here that predate Canterlot itself. Can you imagine? I have not felt such a sense of age since we all entered the castle of the royal pony sisters.

It's funny, when I was a foal I always dreamed of going to large cities like Canterlot and Manehatten. Well, here I am in a large city and... I would so love to be back in my little shop right now. Perhaps I am not ready to be a metropolitan mare after all.

Ah, I shall have to write you another time. The troop members seem to want to go see the local sports team play.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

-P.S. In the attached package you'll find an apple pie from one of the local bakeries. I know it's not homemade, but I hope it brings you good memories of the farm you'll be returning to in due time.

August 7th

Dear Rarity,

That pie sure hit the spot. Thanks! I’m sending around some fresh oranges for you. They ain’t quite as good as apples, but they’re tasty anyhow.

I wish you coulda been here last week. And I wish I coulda not been here last week. I went to all the parties a pony could stand. See, my Aunt and Uncle were here. You know, I gotta take you to meet them sometime, I bet y’all would find each other “smashing” or what have you.

Um, I don’t know if you heard from Twilight or Dash, but I guess I oughta tell you... I’m courting them. Both of them. They know it! But, uh, I can’t help feeling like it ain’t allowed. Nopony in my family ever did nothin’ like this, but I love them both, and I can’t even think how I could pick one. I can’t say how lucky I feel that they ain’t really makin me pick.

I wanna be good to them, Rarity. So good to them, good as they deserve for being the special ponies they are, and even better because I never want them to regret giving me this chance. So, if you know anything special and romantic-like I could do for them, especially with me not being there, I hope you wouldn’t mind passing it along.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed ~~that game~~ whatever it is you did while they were all at that game. I know Baltimare has a mean hoofball team.

Your friend,

Applejack

August 8th

Dearest Applejack,

Thank you for the oranges, darling. They went to good use I assure you. They have this lovely drink called a 'screwdriver' here... I don't know why you name a drink after a tool, if I was going to name a drink I would call it a hammer.

I wish I could have been there too! I wish I could be anywhere else. But I think I might have to live here now, or someplace else I suppose. I can't live in Ponyville anymore... won't be able to show my face there, laughing stock...

I heard from Rainbow! I'm so happy for you, darling. You three will make a wonderful couple... wait, not couple... oh never mind, a couple can be more than just two, right? I don't know anymore. Um... romantic advice... just be your sweet self, darling, that's who they fell in love with. Don't you dare change a hair on that charming rustic head of yours. You are a wonderful pony, do you hear me? It's not them giving you the chance, it's you giving them the chance to be with you, and if they aren't good enough to see that perhaps it was never meant to be.

I miss you all so terribly. When I find a new home I'll have to have you all come visit... Well, most of you anyway.

The game, goodness, that was so long ago. I thought I had made an absolute fool of myself, but the cast didn't seem to mind. They've been so nice to me, Applejack. There was that whole strike business but they came back, and they work so hard. I have rarely had the pleasure to be amongst so many ponies chasing their dreams. Sorry, rambling.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, darling. You're going to be fine.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

August 23rd

Dear Rarity,

It don’t matter if you made a fool of yourself or not, you’re comin’ back to Ponyville if I gotta drag you there.

And judging by that letter I might have to. You’ve been drinking, haven’t you? That explains a lot. Look, sugarcube… sometimes a pony can write something when they’re drunk that ain’t as careful as they might be when they’re sober. And sometimes that works out, but not all the time. But if you were drinking when you wrote it, other ponies will understand, and they won’t hold it against you. And some other ponies wouldn’t ever hold nothing against anypony, ever. So maybe it’s best to apologize and forget it? Even if you weren’t drunk?

Anyhow, thanks for the kind words. I’m saving this letter to show you next time you point out how messy my mane is. “Don't you dare change a hair on that charming rustic head of yours,” huh?

I know I haven’t written in a while. Things are going smooth here, these days. There’s a lot of work from this storm we got a few weeks ago, but you know I don’t mind that. It does cut into my letter writing time, though. And on top of that, I’m finally getting the other manager on track, for when I leave. Boy, I can’t wait to get back home.

I hope things are going good with you, and I want you to remember that I’m always here for you. You write me any time, sober or drunk, and I’ll be there to help. Just remember that, okay?

Your friend,

Applejack

August 23rd

Dearest Applejack,

Oh, I am a damnable fool indeed, make no mistake. About your mane-style, I may tease and try to dress you up but you have your own flair that is just lovely. About being forgiven for things said while inebriated, in vinos veritas. We are most truthful when we are unafraid of what others will think of us, and a symptom of drunkenness is lack of regard for other’s reactions.

I was drinking at the time I last wrote you, yes. I've spent much of the last six weeks indulging. I stopped very recently, when I finally got a reply from Fluttershy. I... messed up badly, told her some things I never meant to say.

I had hoped at best to have my apology accepted, but the reply... seemed too good to be true. I asked if Fluttershy might be open to the idea of... well, truth be told what I suggested at first was quite obscene, but ultimately I was asking her permission to begin courting her properly. She responded that she would like that... and I was elated.

I threw every drop of vileness out, I felt so very wonderful that my best friend was willing to try that with me. Then... I got a letter from Rainbow.

Rainbow congratulated me... then told me she was rather surprised... Since Fluttershy has never shown interest in a mare since foalhood. And that little factoid might have been nice to know before she told me to pour my heart out.

Look... I know why I wrote what I wrote, wine and spirits aside... Fluttershy has always confused me. She just has this... presence that I am horribly drawn to. But I always just... ignored it, she’s the wrong gender. You know me... the first impression you got of me was doodling a picture of getting married to a prince. I even got a horrible crush on your brother the first time you brought me to your home. I’ve tried looking at other mares the way I do at her... it has no appeal. It’s not mares I am attracted to, it’s her.

What I don’t know is why she would say yes. I thought at first she might be a fillyfooler, but from what Rainbow sent, that’s not the case. I had braced myself for a polite let down, but if she’s only agreed to avoid hurting my feelings I would be even more devastated at this point. I only hoped for a chance, selfish though it was, but I will not take a pity date, not even from her.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity.

P.S. Why not tell me your secret, hmmm? Apparently it’s the princesses who are the ones worth dating? Maybe I should just try for Luna. May as well at this point. At least she would give me a straight answer.

P.S.S. Oh, look at that. A straight answer when asking out another mare. Unintentionally humorous, just like the rest of my life.

August 23rd

Dear Rarity,

Oh, sugarcube. I gotta say you got the worst luck in love of anypony I ever met.

But when it comes down to it, that ain’t your fault one bit. You told Fluttershy how you feel, and now it’s on her. Even if maybe being drunk didn’t help, being honest about it was the right thing to do.

As for Fluttershy, well… however she feels, she’s gonna have to come out with it eventually. Just remember, you know she’d do anything for a friend. You know that yourself, remember the whole fashion model thing? Maybe she oughta have learned a lesson from that, but we all make mistakes, and what’s more most ponies make the same mistakes for most of their lives.

You gotta remember, if you’re right about this, that Fluttershy don’t pity you. She’s scared, sugarcube. Scared she’ll hurt you, scared you won’t like her no more. Ponies do dumb things when they’re scared. I know that wouldn’t make it hurt any less, she still hadn’t oughta done that, but maybe if you understand her a little better in it you won’t let yourself get angry, and you’ll stick to being disappointed.

Rarity, me and you been friends since we were kids, you know I never can stand to see you upset (well, unless you're being a pain.) If things go bad with Fluttershy, I’m gonna take you into Canterlot, and we’ll look at shoes and saddlebags that cost too much. Then I’ll take you to a high-class bar and buy you enough screwdrivers for a hardware store, and I’ll be the best darn wingmare you ever seen, if you need it. You know you’re a beautiful, smart, classy mare, your only problem is there ain’t enough ponies in the world who are good enough for you. It ain’t fair, but don’t you dare ever settle for a pony who don’t deserve you, I don’t care who he or she is.

And as much as I love Fluttershy, if she got in this mess, she’s got a lotta growing up to do to deserve a pony as good as you, whatever she wants under their tail.

Anyhow, I gotta ask you something. I figure you’re the right pony, ‘cause you know all them rules for how ponies oughta act, and cause you grew up in Ponyville-- If it was allowed, how much trouble do you think it’d cause for three ponies to get married to each other? Not that I’m proposing to the girls or nothing, I just wanna have my ducks in a row. I guess I wanna know… what I’m supposed to be doing? Like, am I supposed to act like I’m courting them normal, looking to start a family one day? Or is this something else? If it’s something else, what is it, and how do I do it right for them?

I know I’m lucky, maybe I hadn’t oughta be asking you about this right now, but it bothers me that I don’t know. I wanna do right by Twilight and Dash, and right by my family and the ponies in Ponyville, and I kinda got myself in this weird situation.

Anyhow, you take care, and write me soon as you hear from Fluttershy. I’m here for you.

Your friend,
Applejack

August 25th

Dearest Applejack,

I... I just don’t know anymore. I’ve spent all my life being fed tales of the one. Blueblood was certainly not it, he was more of a princess than a prince. I’m sure he will one day make some unlucky colt absolutely miserable.

I just thought maybe finding one mare in my entire life that attracted me meant something. But really what should I be expecting by now? Fairytale romance doesn’t happen. Or rather... not to me. I should just stop lying to myself and accept that. Being a catlady wouldn’t be so bad, I could take the cats to go see—

Pardon me, I had to break something just now. I’m back. I think I am just beyond caring now. I’ll just lock my heart away in a tiny little cell like the traitorous thing it is. What good has it ever done me? It keeps pointing to the wrong ponies like a broken compass! If I could I would cut it from my chest and dump it in the nearest trash heap.

But enough about my horrible taste in ponies to pursue romantically. About your question... there are a number of ways you can handle that. Twilight is a princess, and there is a very old law predating the fall of Princess Luna to the Nightmare that allows her to have as many consorts as she chooses. Royal consorts, and their descendents, are considered royalty in their own right. Apparently this was where the Bluebloods got their royal title, their distant ancestor was a consort of Princess Luna.

To actually get married is going to be a bit of an issue. The law does recognize herds as a legal entity, but marriage is strictly a two pony thing. I wish I had better news for you, but that’s where it currently stands. Perhaps our new princess should use her status to change that?

I want to thank you for your kind words, I may also need a shoulder to cry on for a while, if you’d be so kind. I don’t know how this will end, but I am bracing my poor heart for the worst. If she... if she can’t... I don’t think I will want to date for some time, if at all. Maybe I will just focus on my career, and do the typical thing of becoming rich and famous. I’ll find myself some vapid piece of eye candy to parade around and cry myself to sleep at night. Ah, there we are, we have a plan! Plans are good.

I will let you know how she responds... but I am not getting my hopes up again.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

P.S. I am so incredibly happy for you, darling. You are a good pony and a better friend than I deserve, knowing you found love gives me some measure of hope I may one day be so lucky.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash

View Online

June 23rd

Dear Rarity,

Something’s not exactly awesome about Las Pegasus. It seems like a pegasus town in name only. Though, I’m probably getting ahead of myself, so I’ll start at the beginning.

So after writing a letter to Applejack, I went out searching for an apartment. I was sure to find a cloud complex, because otherwise, why would this be a pegasus town?

The thing is, when I was looking through listings in the newspaper, I couldn’t find any for cloud apartments.

Weird, right? So I figure that the newspaper is just wrong, so I go to the office of a realtor for a lot of these apartments. He says that there are no cloud homes in Las Pegasus.

No. Cloud. Homes.

Ridiculous, right? It’s like... why even bother trying to appeal to pegasi? Well, from what I saw on the strip and the rest of the city, they don’t.

Okay, so after that meeting, I decide to hit the buffet at one of the casinos. Here’s what I noticed (both here and while flying through downtown): all of the bellhops and valets (you know, the ones that do all the grunt work) were pegasi, and all the managers and business owners were unicorns. Then, you’ve got earth pony tourists who were coming in to piss away their life savings while filling up on cheap alcohol and fried food (while I can relate to that, they still treated the employees like dirt).

It’s just weird, you know? I mean, this was a city founded by pegasi after they had families with earth ponies and unicorns. I have no idea why or how this city became so unicorn-centered. It’s like a grimier version of Canterlot.

Still, it’s not all bad. This city does have entertaining stuff. For one thing: casinos. I am going to make so much cash by the time summer’s through. I refuse to back down from a challenge. Chance has got nothing on the mighty Rainbow Dash!

Also, the live entertainment. Las Pegasus has a stadium, which means Wonderbolts performances. I already have tickets for their upcoming race, so that’s pretty much the best thing ever. Then, you’ve got the theatres, and no, I’m not talking about your frou-frou plays or whatever. I’m talking live shows with magic and dancing and stuff. Trixie has a running show here, so I might check that out, and there’s this club that has chippendales and showgirls. I mean... what more could you ask for?

Also, I know a lot of you guys are pretty busy, but hopefully, Twilight and Pinkie can swing by to hang out. Pinkie will love this never-ending party of a city, and Twilight will probably want a break from whatever boring stuff she’s doing.

Oh yeah, and I also found an apartment. It sucks that it’s just a regular, non-cloud, one bedroom, but it’s in my budget. Of course, I really need to get some furniture tomorrow afternoon, because I’m sleeping on the floor.

I also probably should get pillows... and a blanket... and a toothbrush. Yeah, I didn’t bring anything with me.

My job starts tomorrow, and I know that’s gonna be awesome. Even if the city has become dominated by unicorns and gambling, I just know that pegasus foals still have the spirit of their tribe.

So yeah, hope things are going well for you and stuff. Write back.

Your friend,

Rainbow Dash

July 9th
Dearest Rainbow Dash,

I know exactly how you feel. When I signed on for this little fiasco they call a play I did so under the title "Costume Designer." Upon arriving I find said designs have already been placed on patterns and it is my job to essentially play seamstress to these cretins. I will not stand for this, and neither should you. I am going to buck some doors in and explain what my talents are worth to them, and you should shake the foundations of that city starting with their foals.

I have faith in you, darling! Wish me luck!

Sincerely yours,
Rarity.

August 4th

Dear Rarity,

First off, thanks for taking weeks to reply to my letter, I really appreciate that. Secondly, you really need better mailponies out in Baltimare. I mean, Twi’s letters come to me faster, and she’s travelling all over the world. Must be some kind of witchcraft (I’ve never trusted you hornheads with that kind of sorcery).

Anyway, I can tell you that a lot of my problems have gone away, at least the ones I mentioned in the letter. While Las Pegasus is kind of a dud for a city, I’ve met some pretty cool ponies (there’s this one stallion named The Gun Show who you might really like. I should see if he’d want to swing by Ponyville someday).

Also there have been some pretty awesome changes in my life, you ready for this?

Okay,
1. I got an acceptance letter from the Wonderbolts that I burnt to a crisp.
2. I’ve decided to teach foals how to fly full time when I get back to Ponyville.
3. I’m now having sex with Twilight and Applejack (at the same time).

So anyway, what’s up with you? How did that thing with the theatre go? Did they give in to your demands. If I were, I would’ve whined them submission, it’s an effective strategy for you.

Write back soon for a change, huh?

Your friend,

Rainbow Dash

Aug 5th

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

Manners, Darling, I responded when I received it I assure you. The mailponies here are just fine when they are not suffering from a huge backlog due to managerial incompetence. Oh, and it does help when they are not actively on strike. With any luck this one will have reached you much quicker as the duties have been shifted around to better suit individual talents (can you believe they had the racing talents in the mailroom to sort quicker and the organizational talents delivering to ensure they got to the right places?)

Well, my goodness, Applejack and Twilight? To each their own, but I am glad to hear my friends are happy. I don't quite know what to say about the Wonderbolts... well, I suppose if you have a new dream that's what's important.

The theater... well, that is a tale. As I had written to you I confronted the producer and director and told them flat out I refused to work under the conditions I was in. I am a designer, not a seamstress, and I will not come all the way to Baltimare to sew by somepony else's designs. This... was overheard by the cast, each of which walked out as well, declaring their talents were being misused. The mass walkout of the theater was observed by the workers in the mail service office, who in turn went on strike. This was followed by all of the other government offices, until eventually most of the city was on strike for one reason or another.

That whole mess took many many weeks to straighten out finally. During that time a number of things happened. Our director skipped town in the confusion, making off with what meager profits the play had made prior to the strike. I managed to convince the theater workers to come back, having gotten the producer's okay to straighten out the issues with misapplied talents. This resulted in my being named the director of the play. By simply putting the right ponies in the right places the show has become far more successful than it ever was.

As for Ponyville... I'm not entirely certain I am coming back, Rainbow. I... well prior to writing you I sent off a letter to Fluttershy. I could tell you I was quite drunk, and lonely, and more than a little down, but what matters is the result. I don't remember all of it, but I am fairly certain I invited her over for wine and some friendly experimentation. I have not heard word one since, I'm not even sure if the letters made it through. I sent an apology the next day, and another a week after... nothing. So... I may just live here now. Or maybe Stalliongrad. I'm not sure yet. To think, I warned her about those stallions in that quaint little town. Be a dear and... when you get back to Ponyville, give her my everlasting regret for being a terrible friend.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

August 6th

Dear Rarity,

First of all, damn! Those mailponies are fast. Man, I gotta see if they’re ever up for a race or something, jeez. I mean, wow, that wasn’t even like six hours after I wrote you that letter that I got your reply.

As for why I’ve taken a few days... eh, I’ve been busy. Work’s a bitch like that, you know?

Second, no, you are not leaving Ponyville. Quit your dramatics and listen up. Your old pal Dash is about to drop some truth bombs on your mind.

To start off, you and Fluttershy... damn, that’s hot. Like, really hot. Like, you gotta let me watch sometime, Rare, that’s like seeing the northern lights or something... but I digress.

Okay, so Imma tell you how I, Twilight and Applejack started doing the nasty with each other. Basically, being apart started bringing out all these feelings within us that we didn’t even realize we had. For me, I had realized that Twilight was somepony I could always count on to make me feel special and stuff. Applejack, meanwhile, was the mare who I realized was my better in so many ways. I know now that whatever I want to do with my life is based on wanting to make AJ respect me. Yet, even with all that, there’s still this something that nopony else sees; this kinda weakness and doubt she has about herself. She only showed it to me and Twilight after she sent those drunken letters.

Oh yeah, I should probably back up with that. Okay, so because of my brilliant sense of humor, I was sending flirty letters to Twilight. I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a way of getting Twilight thrown for a loop and me laughing as a result. It turns out, however, that AJ’s been crushing on Twilight for quite a while. So when it seems like that I’m stringing Twilight along (because I guess she’s been into me for a while), AJ gets pissed and really drunk. She then wrote two letters, one for me, one for Twilight, but she sent them to the wrong ponies.

So I get AJ’s letter to Twilight confessing her feelings, and Twilight a letter to me that’s a bunch of threats from AJ. So Twilight then forwards that letter to me, and I am pissed to the off. I write a letter to AJ immediately afterward telling her to fuck off and get out of our lives for being so cowardly. I thought that would be the end of it, but instead, AJ sends me a letter apologizing for what she did and agreeing that she was a coward.

I felt like the worst pony ever, Rarity. When I get home, I down two 40s and send AJ a letter apologizing and telling her all the truth liquid courage could provide. I tell her stuff about her, my dad, Twilight, my insecurities about the Wonderbolts and my path in life, all that good stuff. In my drunkenness, I also send Twilight AJ’s letter expressing her feelings.

So Twilight goes crazy and arranges to get all of us in Las Pegasus the week after. The emotions between me and AJ cool down and we go back to being best friends... too good, actually.

Apparently, my letter opened up some feelings in AJ that she didn’t realize she had before. She had a dream where I rutted her at a train station... don’t tell her I told you that. In fact, keep all of this between us. I’m only telling you this because I wanna help you.

So I get some letters in the mail, one is from the Wonderbolts (the acceptance letter), and the other is from AJ. In AJ’s letter, she lets it out that she had a sex dream about somepony who wasn’t Twilight. I realize that it’s me, and I start to hate myself again.

That night, I too have a sex dream. It starts with me blowing Booster (oh yeah, Booster’s my boss. Cool guy, really ripped), but then he turns into AJ. We’re cuddling and stuff and I look and see that Twilight’s watching us. Then, a fire starts in the distance and I can see Spitfire’s face in the flames. The fire drags me and AJ into the flames and we burn.

I wake up and I immediately burn the Wonderbolts letter, taking that dream as a confirmation of all my thoughts on everything that had been happening.

So finally, AJ and Twi make it to Las Pegasus. We have dinner where we just lay everything out and we all admit our feelings and stuff. We went back to my place, did the nasty, and sealed the deal.

Now then, why did I tell you all of this? Because you’re setting yourself up for overdramatic crap that’s easily avoidable. If you just tell Fluttershy whatever it is you’re feeling, you’ll avoid a ton of grief in the process. Think about it Rarity: what could Fluttershy possibly do that would break you? The worst would probably be politely turning you down, but it’s not like she’d shun you.

My point is, there’s always a simple way of doing things... and you’re not doing it right now. So start doing it.

Let me know how it goes. Write back soon.

Your friend (and hell, I should be your therapist),

Rainbow Dash.

P.S.- You and Fluttershy... UNF

Aug 9th

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

It took me a full day, and half a bottle of this turpentine they call alcohol, but I did it. The ball is in her court, I believe is the expression.

Oh, Rainbow, what have I done? She's too innocent to even understand how I feel about her, much less reciprocate! I couldn't have fallen for Berry Punch (who by all accounts is quite open when you get her a little tipsy) or somepony like Pinkie who wears her heart on her foreleg. No I had to pick the adorably naive shy pony who has likely never even considered what being in love is like much less lusting over somepony and Celestia would it be cute to see her in lust! Can you imagine her attempts to flirt? I've seen it, Rainbow, it's as heartmelting as it is ineffective... on stallions at least. It worked just fine on me and what am I saying she is my dear friend I need to stop thinking like that!

Stupid sexy Fluttershy. Why couldn't you have been born a colt? I would have trotted you off to my shop ages ago. I've been hard pressed to avoid that even despite her inconvenient insistence on being a mare. Did you know there is a huge catalog made just for that very problem? So many choices Rainbow.

I'm going to finish this bottle, and then I am going to bed. I wonder how much one has to consume to induce a blackout.

Sincerely Rarity,

yours

August 13th

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

She wrote back! Not only did she forgive me but she feels the same! Oh my stars, Rainbow you were right! I just cannot believe... she said she wanted to come over for wine but I told her if we are going to date we are doing it right. The um... other things can come later, when she is ready. Fluttershy is such a sweet mare, she mustn't be rushed.

Oh, I wonder if I should write to my parents? Sweetie will need to know, horribly awkward to have her rush in during an intimate moment. I wonder should we move in together? Hmmmm, maybe not. That rabbit gives me the stink eye every time I see him. I'm just so very thrilled she said yes!

Maybe I should mail Pinkie next, we can all have a party to celebrate. Oh... I can't wait to see her now... Should I make arrangements to travel there perhaps? I wonder if its cold there... no, it's summer, it should be pleasant if a bit cooler... so many things to consider.

I don't know what to do, do you think I should go to her?

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

August 17th

Dear Rarity,

See? What did I tell you?

Damn, it feels awesome to be right! I swear, I should get paid to give ponies advice... actually, yeah, next time you need help, Imma charge ten bits. I’m gonna be out of a job for a while when the summer’s over, so I need the cash.

I gotta tell you, Rarity, it’s been a pretty sucky week for me. I’ll spare you on the dets, but long story short, I made a little colt cry.

...Yeah, like I said, it hasn’t been too good a week.

But this is good! And yeah, be gentle with Shy and stuff. I’m honestly surprised that she actually responded and said yes. Seriously, that pony’s afraid of her own shadow.

If I had any other advice, I’d say to just take it easy like me, AJ and Twi are doing. Once we get back to Ponyville, we’ll have all the time in the world to do what we gotta do to make this work, and you guys shouldn’t be an exception.

Oh yeah, and we’re totally having a rager when we get home! Pinkie’s gonna throw us something awesomely insane; something that’s just as insane as her (like seriously, have you seen her letters? I can’t even tell what she’s writing).

You know, it’s funny. I didn’t even pick up that Fluttershy was into mares, let alone you. Then again, this week has shown that my gaydar is kinda screwy, but still, I should have seen some signs in the years I’ve known her.

Eh, life is a weird thing.

Anyhoot, I need to write a letter to Twi, and then I’m gonna drink myself to sleep.

Congrats on you and Shy.

Your free (for now) therapist,

Rainbow Dash

August 19th

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

Enclosed find 100 bits, I trust that will help. My love life may be in turmoil but my professional life goes well. The show is sold out and has been for weeks now. If this keeps up perhaps this little troop will go to Manehatten next, even Canterlot.

You should consider laying down the bottle, Rainbow. I threw all of that swill out, and I feel clearer headed for it. You might find it makes you less inclined to making foals cry.

The trouble I am having now is... being of sounder mind makes me think more with my head than my heart. You mentioned in your letter that you had never seen our Fluttershy show an interest in mares. At first, this did not concern me. So long as I have known her Fluttershy has never shown any interest in ponies whatsoever, at least in a romantic sense.

That's what concerns me now... for her to just knowingly agree to what I asked of her, without being horrified by the crass way I asked... it strikes me as very probable that she was just saying what I was hoping to hear.

I dearly hope I am wrong. I could be misreading things, perhaps she is frightened, unsure what to do. I want to be wrong, because I want this to work... but if she is just humoring me only to break my heart later I would just die!

I just... I wanted to... I don't know anymore. This was so much easier when she just confused me. I could live with that, it was simple. Now I have to question if she's lying to me or if she really does want to try this with me and oh Celestia why was she not born male? I don't like being confused, I just wanted to date somepony who I actually loved. Is that so much? Am I allowed to be happy?

Well, Doctor Dash? Am I overreacting? No, I think the better question is... am I wrong?

Yours truly,

Rarity

P.S. Mail me again if you run short on bits.

August 31st

Dear Rarity,

Whoa! Really sorry this took me a long time, but the last week or so has been really busy. I’ve been doing a lot of paperwork, and I was planning to write a letter, but then I just decided to get hammered.

Those have been my nights here in a nutshell.

Well, nuts to that. I’m spending my last few days here living it up. Me, Booster, and his buds are gonna tear this city up, just like I had planned, before all this work and relationship stuff got in the way.

Not that any of those things were a bad thing. Actually, I’d say this has been a pretty good summer for me.

Which brings me to my main point. Sometime in the week, I’m going back to Ponyville. I was just wondering if you wanted to come back too and hang out with me until everyone else gets back. I know you’re probably still tied to that theatre or whatever, but maybe you could cut your ties and come over.

I think you need it, Rarity. You need somepony awesome to hang out with. You need time to not worry about this business with Fluttershy. It can, and will, all work out in the end, so you really just need to let loose for a little while until everyone comes back.

I mean, don’t you wanna get drunk for fun for a change? I can help you with that. Although, we wouldn’t Princess Luna with us, so it wouldn’t be as fun (oh, man, I gotta tell you about that sometime, she was crazy).

The point is that I’m here for you. I’d never leave my friends hanging.

So what do you say, Rarity?

Write back soon,

Rainbow Dash.

P.S.- All I said was my gaydar was off. That's no reason to think Fluttershy's not into you.

Sep 1st

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

That’s quite all right, darling. We all get busy. I am glad to here you are doing well. As for me... I will be returning shortly. I look forward to getting back to my shop, this whole play business has been nice, but it’s not for me.

I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, darling. While I don’t mind going drinking with you, there is no "business with Fluttershy", and there never has been.

She is my friend, and will always be. That is all she ever need be to me. It’s enough.

I expect to be very busy for quite a while, the fall line needs to be designed. But I am sure I can make some time for a friend. Oh, but I invited Pinkie Pie out as well, so it will have to be a threesome. Pinkie really needs to be educated about the kind of shots that don’t hurt until the morning. Can you imagine what she will be like drunk?

See you in Ponyville, Darling.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

Rarity and Twilight Sparkle

View Online

June 24th

somewhat tired brain Princess of Magic
From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia
Why does Stalliongrad have zero places to order custom letterheads?

Dear Rarity,

As a mare of refined taste and aesthetics, I’d like to ask your opinion on something. I’m going to do my best to accurately transcribe an exchange I had this morning with Cadence and my brother.

Cadence: “Twilight, stop struggling and let the nice mare finish your mane.”
Me: “But today we’re supposed to be touring smelting facilities. There’s no logical sense for this; we’re going to be covered head to hooves in ashes in two hours.”
Cadence: “But you have to make the right impression going into the facility.”
Me: “UGH.”
BBBFF: “Twilee, it’s just part of the routine. You’ll get used to it.”
Me: “The routine is stupid!”
Cadence: “Listen, Twilight. I know this isn’t exactly your thing, but you’re blowing it out of proportion. Sure, it’s kind of silly to do up your mane and wear these outfits to go somewhere like an industrial complex, but it’s a societal obligation.”
Me: “Why?”

They couldn’t answer me, Rarity. I’ve never gotten any of these social status, high society rules, and they’re making me grind my teeth. Rules are supposed to make sense, but there is no sense in putting on your best outfit and traipsing around a factory where they burn coal all hours of the day. When we toured the first building, we had to wear masks over our muzzles to keep from breathing any of the soot, and when we left and I took my mask off, I had noticeable marks on my face where the soot hadn’t touched.

I tried to picture you stepping hoof into a place like that wearing a Gala dress and I think my imagination tried to go on strike.

Am I wrong here? Is there something I’m missing? You always know so much more about this social etiquette than I do. Princess Celestia first instructed me on etiquette as a filly, and for a long time I had successfully memorized table manners down to the fourth fork on the right (pastry fork?), but this is just so…

Rarity, this makes no sense, don’t you see? There’s no logic here, it’s all meaningless rules for the sake of rules that leaves either a good or bad impression based on nothing and I don’t know why and I can’t stand not knowing why.

I apologize. I took a break to bang my head on the coffee table; I feel a little better now. If you have any insight I’d love to hear it, because it seems like nopony around here is interested in making sense anymore.

How is Baltimare treating you? I remember visiting there as a filly with Shining and my parents and really liking it, but I spent so much time with my snout in a book I don’t remember many details. I hope you have time around your work to see the city. Oh, I heard there’s a wax statue of Canter Alan Poe in a coffee shop he frequented when writing; you’ll have to tell me if that’s true or not.

-Twilight Sparkle

June 26th

Dearest Twilight,

Let me begin by saying that that sounds simply awful! Forcing you to do a Royal Visit in such a filthy, grimy, filthy place—I can't even image! I will admit that—only as a very young a filly, you understand—I may have, on one or two occasions, given myself to the fantasy of living the life of a princess—though I do say that this would immediately have cured me of that, I assure you!

In regards to your confusion on the matter of dressing your best, I will, first and foremost, echo the words of Princess Cadence and your brother: making a strong first impression is crucial. Ponies expect their royalty to appear the way they imagine they should—with glamor and regalness as unparallelled as their rank.

I cannot stress enough the significance of your image—for it is the very image of the most Elite of the Elite of Canterlot—you have a duty to Canterlot—nay, Equestria!—to present yourself at your finest at all times! You are no longer representing just Twilight from Ponyville, but Princess Twilight of Equestria— what opinions ponies form about you will not be solely placed you as a pony, but will be projected onto all of Equestria, as well! Oh, I do not mean to place any undue pressure on you, though, of course. I have complete faith that you will simply excel at anything you put your excessively sized mind to, darling.

That being said, expecting you to wear your finest garments, and styling your mane, only to get them ruined in an industrial complex is horrendous—but it is so very important to maintain the finest of images. But your dress! (In all honesty, I am not entire sure on the procedure of removing industrial waste from fabric—do you know, off hoof, the fiber content of your dress? Silk would present a serious issue; cotton or linen may be salvageable...) But this is something you must do for the sake of Equestria! No matter what the toll may be on such amazing and fabulous dresses... it's worth it... it's surely worth it... it must be worth it.

I wonder if a dress befitting royalty could be made that would resist dirt? Tear resistant would be a must, as well. And perhaps fire retardant. It'd have to be sturdily constructed, as, if it was made for such extreme conditions, it'd likely need washing just about every time it is worn. A most regal dress that could go in the washer and drier—the idea is nearly unthinkable... though, now that I am thinking about it...

Twilight, you must provide me a list of all of the most extreme environments a dress you would be wearing would be likely to be sent through during the course of your diplomatic missions. I know already that designing all of these costumes, and guiding a team of other ponies through building them, is likely to drive me right to the brink of madness—all for costumes, no less—so such a challenge as making a dress for you that would meet such requirements would surely be a most welcome break.

As for your mane: I have found that the right kind of hairspray will protect styling from nearly any conceivable external distress—when used in sufficient amounts. Perhaps your stylists are simply being too conservative with its application? I assure you: industrial facilities, putting on and taking off gas masks—your manestyle would not waver. I wouldn't be surprised if it repelled that soot from burning coal. Though be sure to avoid open flames.

On that topic, (beauty—not fire hazards) you really ought to start taking along a little travel bag with you where you go, with the essentials. The obvious, of course, such as a small mirror, perhaps a bit of foundation or concealer for touch-ups, etc, etc—but also I would suggest a light moisturiser to use periodically during the day. I cannot overstate how fabulously refreshing it can be in the midst of a long, grueling day. If you're to be outside a lot, a nice, light sunscreen, as well, is essential—you can find some very lovely ones that can work marvelously as a base for the rest of your makeup. Be sure to avoid excessively oily ones, though.

As for myself, I have not seen much of Baltimare, as of yet. I've been shown to my lodgings (of which I have mixed feeling about—it has the benefit of being close to where I'll be working, at the very least). The play I shall be designing for is A Midsummer Night's Dream, which I am very excited about, I will say. I am trying to make the best of it—which involves avoiding the thought of spending all this time designing costumes when I could be making fashion—and have resigned myself to what is now inevitable: I shall stoically and gracefully shoulder any burden that I am saddled with, much the same as I always do.

I would be nothing short of thrilled if you would seek to message me again with any issues or questions that may arise about any such things as beauty, fabulosity, or decorum! Oh, of course I would like to hear from you anyway, even if there is no crisis you require my assistance for.

May your subsequent destinations be rather less filthy,

Rarity

P.S. I realized just how unlikely it would be for you to actually go out and put together a beauty travel kit, so I picked up a few of my absolute favourite brands, as well as a cute little case for it all, and have included it in the package accompanying this letter. There is moisturiser, sunscreen, a cleanser, a compact mirror, and various other things I hope you will find useful.You will notice there is no makeup—I'm not sure what your stylists have you wearing. See if you can't get a travel sized amount from them. Take care, darling.

June 28th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, attempting a new sending spell to mimic dragonfire.

Dear Rarity,

Thank you for the travel kit, it is quite lovely. I’d say I’m surprised how much it matches my eyes, but you always catch those details, so I shouldn’t be surprised at all. I’m not sure I’ll be able to take it with me; I never seem to be able to go around with any sort of bag anymore. Is it too much to ask for me to be able to have a book or five at hoof for times when I’m just sitting around waiting? We have attendants around, who are always fussing away and touching things up anyway (which is a bit of a nightmare; they put makeup on over all that soot! I scrubbed my face eleven times before it felt clean afterwards), so maybe one of them will take it along. Oh, but I don’t want to do that, this was from you for me, not for an attendant!

I still don’t really get this whole image thing. Attendants, fancy and restrictive dresses for everything, exacting decorum, even ‘appropriate facial expressions.’ It makes me feel more like a porcelain doll than anything else. I suppose I can understand the desire behind the image, but I’m just a pony, Rarity. Why should I be pretending to be anything else?

I’d tell you to not worry about the dress, but I know you and you’d just guess on specifications and send me one anyway. And truth be told, it’ll be nice to hold something you’ve hoof-made for me; it’ll make me feel like I’m back in Ponyville for a little while. Plus, after that lovely dress you made for my birthday, you know what I like in clothing and I’m sure to love anything you make much more than the puffy things they stuff me in here. Now then, specifications.

Temperatures between 77.2K-1643.2K
Humidity ranges between 0-100%
Wind speed of 372 kilometers per hour
Rainfall rate of 40.1 cm per hour
Snowfall rate of 23.1 cm per hour
9.0 magnitude earthquake

I…I think I’m getting carried away. Those temperature ranges are from liquid nitrogen’s boiling point to steel’s melting point; if I’m actually coming into contact with either of those, my dress is the least of my worries. I need to stop consulting almanacs when somepony asks me a question.

Just…okay, so most of the time we’re in town centers or private homes and not doing anything that’s going to cause a lot of wear and tear. We’ll be touring a number of local facilities all across Equestria, some of them will be labor-intensive like the smelting facilities, but most of the time it’ll be more like going through any shop in Ponyville. Is that helpful?

I believe we’ll be making a stop in Baltimare. I’m not sure when, but Luna mentioned an old playhouse there she’s excited to see. I’ll try to let you know when I’ll be in town so we can go to lunch and distract each other for a while. Hope it’s sooner rather than later.

-Twilight Sparkle

PS Mimicking dragonfire is harder than I expected. Princess Celestia has a sending spell connected to Spike’s dragonfire, so it’s a simple matter of summoning a small amount of it to form a pathway. I had experimented with it and thought I’d gotten a suitable facsimile, but it didn’t work properly and all the letters showed up again, so I’m sending this the normal way instead. Hope to hear from you soon.

-Twilight Sparkle (July 1st)

Rarity—

Could I perhaps trouble you to write a song? Only if it’s not too much to ask and you have time, I know you’re probably very busy. But it’s for science!

-Twilight Sparkle

July 10th

Dearest Twilight,

Stopping in Baltimare you say? Well, that will be pleasant. Incidentally, would you or Luna have any advice for a rather untimely labor riot? I seem to have upset the actors with my demands to actually be allowed to perform the duties laid out in my contract and now production has halted entirely. Also the director seems to have skipped town with the majority of the play's profits.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity.

P.S. If I don't make it out of this contract alive, tell Sweetie Belle I love her.

August 3rd

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Rarity,

My goodness, is everything alright? I got your letter just recently and it’s dated nearly a month ago. Labor riots are not usually violent, but you’re worrying me with your post script. Please get back to me soon and let me know if everything’s okay.

I asked Princess Luna about labor riots, but she told me the only thing that she has any experience that comes close to matching that was leading the coup against Discord with Princess Celestia, and , quote, ‘The ways of war have no place among business disputes.’ Which is a quote I’m rather fond of out of context, and plan on remembering. Sorry, off-topic.

I’m really not sure what sort of advice to give you without knowing the exact situation. I know I’m probably over-reacting and there’s a strong chance things have already resolved in a peaceful way since your last letter (please let me know soon, okay? I’ve already derailed this tour once to have an extremely necessary face-to-face with both Applejack and Rainbow, but if you need me, I’ll fly all the way to Baltimare myself if I have to), but if you’re still having trouble I’m happy to offer whatever advice I can.

Speaking of going to Baltimare, I’m still wholly unsure when that will be, but based on the path so far, I wouldn’t be surprised if it isn’t towards the end of the trip altogether. That might mean I’ll have a chance to see the play you’re doing all this designing for!

Provided there’s still a play by then. Write back soon!

-Twilight Sparkle

Aug 4th

Dearest Twilight,

Where to begin... Well, the walkout by the actors sparked a bit of a city-wide strike. It began because the mail service office joined the actors in their walkout (they were having unrelated issues and chose to act at that moment in solidarity) before long workers in all walks of life had left their careers crying out that their talents were being wasted. (In fact some of them were, but many had talents that really did not fit into their chosen field, little to be done then.) So you just now received... Oh Celestia...

Twilight, I may not be returning to Ponyville. You see, I sent a number of letters during the strike, and if you have received yours only now there is a good chance two in particular have made their way to Whinnypeg. I hope your trip goes well, for myself I think I shall see if I can find more permanent arrangements here.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

August 11th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Rarity,

I’m very relieved to hear you’re okay. I was getting ready to fly to Baltimare myself, which would not have gone over terribly well with Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, especially after Las Pegasus. I take it things have calmed down in the past month? A mail carrier strike certainly explains the delay, and the fact that I finally got your letter suggests it’s been resolved.

Now then, what’s all this about Fluttershy? I can’t imagine you could say or do anything in a letter that would jeopardize your friendship with her permanently; Fluttershy is so understanding of everypony. If any of us six were to get in a disagreement, I think she would be the first to seek peace, even over Pinkie. The rest of us can be a little hot-headed at times, but Fluttershy seems to save that for special occasions. I don’t know that you could drop a Grand Galloping Gala, self-help seminar, or dragon attack in a letter.

I don’t know. I’m probably projecting my own recent experience with ‘accidentally sent’ letters, which resolved in a way that was far stranger and far better than I could have expected. I’m not sure if either Rainbow or Applejack told you in any letters, but Applejack sent a couple of letters after a night out that got sparked a rather complicated mess of emotions. The end result was us all meeting in Las Pegasus and talking it out. Now we’re all kinda sorta dating each other.

It’s still odd writing that out. You may think it sounds sordid or something, but for where I was and am at emotionally, and for both Applejack and Rainbow as well, it’s been wonderful. It’s certainly helped me deal with this vacation better since I saw them both.

So, if I have any advice to give in this situation, not knowing what you said, it’s to talk it out with her. Fluttershy is such a good-hearted pony, I’m sure whatever disagreement you had will be water under the bridge in no time.

Good luck, for everything! Wait…you’re not supposed to wish luck on stage productions. Good luck with Fluttershy, break a leg for everything else!

-Twilight Sparkle

August 13th

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

“Okay” is a relative term, but for the record I am physically well, although I’m probably going to have to seriously restrict my alcohol intake in the near future. I begin to see how Berry got started. At first you get bored and have a few drinks to make yourself feel better, then things fail to improve and you drink more to dull your pain.

Then one lonely night after striking out with the entire cast and spending an inappropriate amount of time watching two of the female leads commit an atrocious display of public affection you think Celestia, I wish that was me, I bet I could invite Fluttershy over and we could do that. Who the hay needs a stallion anyway? Now these are thoughts I have had before, but there is normally a voice in my head that tells me pursuing such things is a bad idea. Well, that voice was quite heated as well, and encouraged me to write about it.

So there I was, drinking a nice red and suggesting my wonderful friend might come over some night and throw caution to the wind with me, maybe give me a nice sensual massage with a happy ending. I was throwing myself at the poor girl, Twilight.

Disagreements require some communication on both sides. Since I sent the first letter I have sent three in apology, and there has been no response since. The last one... well here, I make duplicates of anything I write or draw ever since Opal decided a stack of dress designs would make an excellent place to take care of business.

I suppose I can’t just run away from this. I’ll have to confront her and beg her forgiveness for being so forward. Fluttershy is not a pony you just proposition out of the blue. She would need to be carefully courted and reassured every step of the way, educated in all the various ways one shows affection. I can just picture the look of ecstasy—No! I’m doing it again! Bad Rarity, she is your friend! Stop sexualizing the poor girl she can’t help how she looks...

Ugh, so there you have it, Twilight. I am deep in lust with Fluttershy, and I have no idea if she will ever even talk to me again. So no, “okay” is not a word I would use.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

August 23rd

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Rarity,

I’m sorry for not getting back to you more quickly, but I’ve been kept so busy I haven’t had any time to read, let alone write anypony. I’ve gotten used to a lot of what’s asked of me now, and it’s far less awkward and frustrating than when we first left, but I get so tired anymore.

That was something I really noticed being around Rainbow for a few days again. Being around others gives her energy: she can feed off a crowded room like it’s a double-shot of espresso. By the end of the day, barring any hard conversations with famous ponies she looks up to, she’s ready to run circles around me like a filly, while I’m left feeling like I ran a marathon.

It’s kind of nice to see that in her.

…You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve been put in a rather reflective mood. I left Las Pegasus again just a few hours ago, and being there has left me in a strange mindset. Not a bad one, or anything—well, I’m in an odd place with Shining at the moment, but other than that…

Ugh. I wish my brain would shut up sometimes.

Anyway, Rainbow told me that you may have found something with Fluttershy, but that things have been a bit emotionally unstable for you since then. I’m not sure on all the details, since Rainbow has a tendency to take detailed things and run over them without looking, and…well, I’m not sure if I’d even have any advice. I’m not the most experienced in the field of romance, and I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on in my own head most of the time.

I guess all I can do is wish you good luck. I hope whatever is going on ends with you in a place where you’re happy, and Fluttershy’s happy, and I can see both of you happy. I got to see Rainbow’s smile again, and I realized how much I miss everypony’s smiles.

I probably didn’t notice how Rainbow can feed off a room while a room feeds off of me, because it never happens like that in Ponyville. Well, that’s not entirely true; all five of you can be utterly exhausting at times, but when we’re just spending time together as a group I do feel more alive. You girls really mean the world to me.

This letter is probably a bit of a mess. I need something to distract myself. I hope you’re doing well, and good luck!

-Twilight Sparkle

August 25th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dearest Twilight,

I completely understand, darling. You are a princess now, noblesse oblige. I think the problem you are having is... there are those of us who seek out the sun, and thrive in it. I understand Rainbow in that respect. Then there are those of us who are thrust into the spotlight unwillingly. Fluttershy comes to mind, and it appears, yourself.

Ponies like you wilt under the attention, it’s a draining experience because you never wanted it to begin with. It’s also, I suspect, why you find us so exhausting. The friendship you forged with us is not one you would have chosen in the normal course of your life. You feel invigorated because the bonds are good and healthy ones, but at the same time drained because you often find yourself being thrust in the middle of our problems. I’m sorry for my part in that, but at the same time I am not. Even if you don’t have the answer, you make me feel better for having listened to me.

Even writing to you now... I can see how draining I must be on my poor Fluttershy. How much she must be wilting at the idea that I see her in the way I do. Oh, Twilight... I’m so very horrid for what I did to her. She was happy before I put pen to paper and made an ass of myself, I likely ruined her vacation with stress over my petty infatuation.

I... hope she can forgive me for doing that to her. And I hope you’ll forgive me for troubling you while you’re at a very trying time in your own life. From what Applejack and Rainbow have written, they love you very much, and I am so happy for you all. Do be sure to drop by the shop to be fitted for new dresses when you decide to make things official

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

Applejack and Fluttershy

View Online

Dear Fluttershy,

I hope you’re having fun up there. Seems like it’d be right nice about now, it’s hotter than frying pan down here. I bet there’s all kinds of critters there, too. You’re gonna have to write me all about them.

Hey, sugarcube, about critters... I know I promised that I’d be nice to all the critters here, but this is just silly.

Today was my first day on Sunny Grove Farm, and one of the farmhooves was showing me around. It’s real pretty here, Aunt and Uncle Orange do it up right. The farmhouse is huge, my room’s bigger than the downstairs back on Sweet Apple Acres, and everything’s white, or these light sunset colors. And they got a swimming pool and a tennis court outside, but that’s no matter to me.

Then there’s the orange groves...

Well, they can’t be as pretty as an apple orchard, but they’re trying real hard. In the middle, there’s this big pond, with the bluest water you ever seen.

So, Plup, that’s the farmhoof showing me around, he pointed at that pond and said to me, “You be careful of that. Don’t go messing with old Toothy.”

Well now, I’m the manager here, and I didn’t rightly know who old Toothy was, but nopony was going to tell me I can’t mess with something on this farm. So I asked him where old Toothy was, so we can get this worked out.

He just laughed, and used his tail to flick an orange in the pond.

Out came this gator; bigger than a pony and ugly as a timberwolf. He just kinda looks at me, like he’s deciding what the appetizer is gonna be.

My mouth dropped open, and I was staring at this fella staring at me with my eyes as big as apple pies. And Pulp was right next to me, cool as could be. I couldn’t think of a thing to do! I know how to handle a monster in the Everfree, but not just sitting there on my farm. Finally, I just shut my mouth and nodded, and turned to walk back to the farmhouse. Pulp chuckled the whole way.

I ain’t gonna be messing with old Toothy.

Fluttershy, sugarcube, I can live with varmints that like to eat my fruit, but what the hay am I supposed to do with a varmint living on my farm that’d like to eat me?! Pulp says it ain’t just Toothy, either, sometimes gators just wander in at night to visit the lake. How’s a pony supposed to run a farm like that?

I wish you were here, and could come on down and talk some sense into these overgrown lizards. I know you’re busy, but I don’t suppose you got some advice on the matter?

Other than pony-eating monsters, things are going okay here. I got some trouble with the pony I’m training, but don’t you worry, I’m gonna deal with that. And I reckon it just hasn’t sunk in yet, how long I’ll be away from y’all and my family. It still feels like I’ll be back home in a day or two. It’ll sink in soon enough, but for right now I’m holding together fine.

Your friend,

Applejack

June 27, 2013

Dear Applejack,

It’s just wonderful to hear from you! I feel like we’ve been apart for so long now, and I just want you to know that I’ve missed you dearly, even more so than all the critters back at the cottage. I hope that doesn’t sound too “gushy” or anything, I know that Rainbow Dash would be very disappointed in me if she heard I was being “soft” again. Promise me you won’t tell her?

Anyway, the weather here sounds much nicer than it does down there. Oh no, wait, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I meant, the weather here is very nice, and the weather there sounds less than... nice.

Oh dear.

I hope that you don’t mind my tone, I didn’t want to make it seem as though my vacation were any better than yours. I’m sure that yours is just fantastic, even better than mine.

The house you’re staying in sounds lovely. I would love to visit. And regarding the tennis courts, you might not know this, but I played tennis back when I was in school. I wasn’t so good at competing because I was scared of the ball (it was awfully fast). However, I was very good at sitting on the bench and cheering everypony on, though some of my teammates would get mad when I cheered for points that were scored against them.

Oh my, I’ve gotten very much so off topic now, I apologize.

About old Toothy...

I’ve never met an alligator before. Don’t they have big, scary teeth ~~like a dragon~~? Your situation sounds dreadful. But I think the best way to deal with old Toothy (if you haven’t already) is to make him a friend. That always helps me. Remember when we unfroze Discord? I made him a friend, and that’s what was most important! A friend!

Excuse the exclamations, I hope the internal yelling that took place didn’t give you a headache...

Also, if it is at all possible to completely avoid old Toothy, I would advise that. Also, don’t take any advice that Rainbow Dash might give you on the matter. I feel as though her advice could get you seriously hurt. Oh goodness, please don’t tell her I said that. Promise me you won’t?

I think you’ll handle everything just fine (please tell me you’ll handle everything just fine). My number one rule for you is don’t get eaten. That’s my number one rule when I deal with ~~dragons~~ nasty critters.

Though I know you have a lot of work to do, I wish you could be here. Whinniepeg is just beautiful. The trees are home to a lot of wildlife that I’m not used to. There are so many types of birds that I simply don’t have names for, and there are big creatures and small creatures, and creatures that are so cute you’d just want to pack them up in a suitcase and take them home!

Unfortunately, my suitcase just isn’t big enough...

Oh Applejack, I have to tell you all about my moose friend. I don’t have a name for him yet, but he’s just the nicest company. He’s very quiet, and so the conversations are one-sided. Actually, there are no conversations. Still, he’s the first friend I’ve met so far, so I think that’s just great. He even helped to put out the curtains when I set them on fire recently.

I need to go buy new curtains.

Anyway, I just love him and I wish you could meet him.

Oh my, I’ve just about run out of space. Please write back as soon as possible, I’m worried about you and old Toothy. Don’t take too long to write back unless you want to give me a heart attack... I’d rather you didn’t, please.

- With love,
Fluttershy

July 1st

Dear Fluttershy,

I hope I didn’t give ya’ a heart attack, sugarcube! I’m sorry it took a few days to get back to you, I been real busy, I can barely keep my eyes open right now. But I sure don’t want ya’ to worry for not having heard from me. (And don’t you worry about me being tired. It’s just normal tired, so no need to fuss.) (And don’t you start fussing about be telling you not to fuss, neither.)

Anyhow, I’m glad you made a friend. A moose sounds right handy to have around the cabin, and to tell the truth I’ll feel safer thinking that you got a big critter there to help you out. It does a pony good to hear that you’re having such a good time with the animals there.

So far I ain’t exactly made friends with old Toothy, but we have a working agreement where I don’t go near the lake and he don’t eat me. And don’t worry, while Dash did have some suggestions, I didn’t take them. I think I mighta offended her a bit, but she can handle it. It’s better than making an enemy outta this gator, or him making a meal outta me.

I ain’t quite sure how to make friends with a gator, though. Pinkie says gators like music, do you think that’s right? Pinkie also had some other ideas, but they were real... Pinkie.

It ain’t like I’ve had much time to worry about it. I had a day off last week, but since then we’ve had rough storms about every day. Pulp, the old farm hoof, says that this is where the weather factory sends the overstuffed storm clouds. It’s a trade off, see, everything’s real pretty and sunny most of the time, but in exchange they gotta take some of the roughest weather in Equestria when the weather factory ends up with some.

Well, storms do a number on trees. We had a few blow down, and we had to get those cleaned up, along with lots of branches and dead fruit, and some places the barn and fences got hit that needed to be fixed up. Plenty of work to keep a pony’s mind off things. I feel good, but I’m tired, and I’m looking forward to my next day off.

So, I gotta hit the hay. I just wanted to get this out to you, so as you don’t worry. You keep having fun with your new friends, and write me all about them.

Your friend,

Applejack

July 4, 2013

Dear Applejack,

Oh thank goodness you’re okay. I had been a little worried, but your letter has definitely calmed me down. Thanks so much for writing back, and it was just in time, don’t worry.

While I’m not so much worried about your safety now, I am worried about your health. I was fully prepared to fuss about it, but I guess since you’ve so openly told me not to, I won’t. Are you sure? I have plenty to fuss about.

Oh nevermind it. I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you about it. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.

I’m happy to hear that you’ve come to an agreement with Old Toothy. The “you don’t eat me I don’t go anywhere near you” approach has worked quite well for me in the past. Keep that going, and you’ll be just fine! I’m unsure if music will help soothe him, I’ve never tried it, at least not on an alligator. I will say it definitely does work for some creatures- like snakes, most birds, and beavers. But I think for now it would be best to just remember not to go near him. Ever.

And I regret to hear that you had to turn down Rainbow’s advice, but I think that it was for the best. I mean, probably, I don’t know what sort of advice she gave. Oh dear, I just realized how judgmental I’ve been toward her. Oh, sometimes I’m just terrible! I should apologize immediately...

I’ll be writing her another letter soon.

How are you feeling now that you’ve settled down on the farm? I don’t think I’ve ever had an orange, do they taste as good as everypony says they do? Not that I really talk to everypony about oranges, nor do they tell me that oranges are so good. But I’m sure that if I did talk to somepony who has tried one they’d tell me they are amazing.

I know they aren’t apple trees, but I just want to know how well you’ve been adjusting. Sounds like you’ve had some nasty weather recently, but nothing so bad, right? Those poor trees, I hope that at least you could plant some new ones successfully. On the other hoof, it sounds like Rainbow would be very interested in the weather factory there. Do you think she’s visited? Have you told her about it at all?

I’m sorry for asking so many questions, but I feel as though I haven’t talked to you girls in ages. Has any other interesting stuff been going on? What’s new? I’m sure that you must have so much to talk about now.

I just have too much stuff to talk about, and I’m sorry for the lengthy letters. I can update you on what I’m up to, if you want.

The moose has a name, and it’s Alfred. I decided on that a few days ago because, well, I liked it. Turns out, he is very lost and just doesn’t know where to go. Poor thing, I just had to give him a place to stay in the meantime. His family is out there somewhere in the woods, and tomorrow we’ve planned an excursion so that we might find where they went.

If nothing else, I expect the trip to be quite lovely, even if we don’t find any signs of Alfred’s family. It’s supposed to be another wonderful day weather-wise tomorrow, so we’re looking forward to it. I will tell you all about it in the next letter.

That’s about all I have to write about now. Write back soon! I mean, if you want to that is.

- With love,
Fluttershy

July 26th

Dear Fluttershy,

I’m so sorry, sugarcube! I haven’t written in way too long. To be honest, I had a bit of a time a few weeks ago, right around the time I got your letter, and I think I must have lost yours. I found it today under my bed.

So, let me get you caught up on things.

I went to Las Pegasus to visit with Dash and Twilight. One thing lead to another and I think I’m kinda dating them both now. They both know it! And they’re kind of dating each other, too. I... ain’t really sure just what happened, you know. It’s a real long story, and I did some dumb things. But it comes down to, I love Twilight, and I love Dash too. (I still love you, too, sugarcube. But not that way, I promise. I need more of that like I need a hole in my head. Which is to say I don’t need more of that.)

I also figured out some stuff about the pony I’m training, OJ. I been having some trouble with him, he ain’t the friendliest pony I ever did meet. But it turns out he’s been hurt by a friend before, and now he’s kinda taking it out on everypony else. I meant to do a few things to help him out when I got back from Las Pegasus, but things have just been crazy here since then.

We got a visit from Aunt and Uncle Orange. So not only am I catching up on missed farm work, but I also had to go over how the farm’s been running, and on top of that they want me and OJ to be part of all their fancy stuff, being family and all. So I had enough brunches and fancy parties and teas for the rest of my darn life.

But here I am complaining instead of answering your questions. Let me get to that before I forget.

Oranges are real good. I’m gonna send some along with this letter. Just take the thick peel off, and you can break the fruit inside into wedges and eat them one at a time. I promise you’ll like them.

The weather around here is wild, and I hear it gets worse. The trees are holding up pretty good so far, and we’ve planted some new ones for the ones down. I hear tell that the weather factory usually ends up with some pretty nasty stuff towards the fall, and it hits here like a freight train. I ain’t talked to Dash about it yet, but be sure I will soon.

Now, how are you doing? Last you wrote me, you were headed out with Alfred to find his folks. Did y’all have any luck with that?

I promise I’ll get back to you sooner next time.

Your friend,

Applejack

August 11, 2013

Dear Applejack,

Thank you for the oranges you sent. They were quite delicious, just as you said they would be. And yes, they are not anything like apples.

No need to worry about the delay between letters. I’ve done the same thing a few times, believe me, and I'm sorry about that too. You just get back to me whenever you can so that I don’t have to come find you and make sure you’re okay, and that Old Toothy hasn’t eaten you whole. That would be just awful.

I haven’t written anyone in awhile, and there’s a reason for that. I have a slight problem (or big problem) that I’m dealing with, and I really want to tell someone about it, but I’m not sure if I should.

Please, if I tell you, will you promise not to tell anypony? I’m so embarrassed and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I... figured you’d be the right pony to talk to, if that’s okay with you.

But first, I’d rather get to your... situation, if it’s all right to call it that...

Can you actually date two ponies? And especially Twilight and Rainbow, two of your closest friends- at least I thought so. Do you like both of them? I never would have expected this, there have been too many surprises of late, and I guess I don’t really know how to handle them. Are Twilight and Rainbow okay with this as well?

I’m happy for you either way, Applejack. I want you to know that, and I love you too (also not in that way). And since you, well, appear to have experience here... I’d like to ask your advice on a different matter.

Oh, Applejack, you have to promise not to tell anypony about this! Please, I’d die if anypony knew, it’d be terrible!

Okay, here goes...

I think Rarity likes me.

I don’t know how to respond to her, Applejack. I had no idea she even liked me. Her first few letters to me looked like nothing special, but then I got a string of letters a few weeks back, and the first one seemed innocent enough. But then I read closer and I think I found a few things. She wanted to invite me over for wine, saying she wanted to talk about being “brave with a friend”.

You see, at first I thought that would be like what Rainbow Dash would have me do. You know, be brave and all. I suppose I was a little confused at first. But then I figured it out, especially with the second and fourth letter she sent. Now I think it’s true...

I wrote a few letters to the others in the meantime, while I ignored Rarity’s. But then it really started getting to me and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Applejack, the truth is, I don’t like Rarity that way. I... I like stallions.

Is that okay? Is it okay to like stallions? I used to think that was okay but now everypony is getting marefriends and I just don’t know how to feel!

Please write back soon, I feel miserable. Albert left a week ago after his family found him, and I’ve just been sitting in my cottage staring at these letters like a goon. Oh Applejack, I’m so scared... I’m scared of losing Rarity and everyone else, and I think I’ve cried every tear I have left.

- With love,
Fluttershy

P.S. I’m so sorry to put this all on you. If you don’t know how to respond, then you don’t have to, I’m just very upset...

P.P.S. Please don’t tell Rarity! I’m begging you, please!

August 23rd

Dear Fluttershy,

I reckon you can date two ponies, or at least I’m doing it, so it seems that way to me. And of course they’re both okay with it, I’d never even wanna do this if they weren’t.

It is mighty strange, I ain’t gonna lie. Sometimes I ain’t sure how I ended up here… but I love them both, so much, I can’t even think of choosing. Maybe I’ll have to sometime, but I kinda hope I never do. I don’t even know what that means, really.

I mean, I always thought that someday I’d meet a nice pony, and bring her home to Sweet Apple Acres, and get married or something. Even if you can date two ponies, I don’t think you can bring them to live with you… can you? I don’t know that Twilight and Dash would even want to. And I know you can’t marry two ponies, though I guess maybe Twilight could take care of that, being a princess. But… I just don’t know what I’m doing. Honestly, I think that’s part of why I like this. It’s scary, and risky, and I don’t do much like that.

Now as to your problem… You do not have’ta like mares, missy. I like mares, and I always have. It’s just how I am, but I can’t speak for Dash and Twilight. But if you like stallions, you find yourself a good one. Don’t you worry about Rarity. I know she’s our friend, but asking a pony out is always a risk, and she’ll just have to get over it.

I hope you already told her that, it’d explain the mood she was in with her last letter. But I promise she’ll come around. What did she think she was gonna do, get you on a date and sway her hips and try to change your mind? I mean, she’s got real real nice hips, don’t get me wrong, but they ain’t magic. You like stallions, so she’ll have to live with that.

Don’t worry, sugarcube, this is all real hard to work out in letters. But we’ll be home before you know it! Then you and Rarity can work this out face to face.

I’m sorry it took so long to get this to you, we had a real bad storm here and I’ve been working my tail off. Hope that didn’t cause any problem for you. But don't you worry, I didn't tell Rarity nothing about what you said.

Your friend,

Applejack

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie

View Online

June 23rd

clandestinely written under the table at a formal dinner
From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia Princess of Magic
I really need new letterhead.

Dear Pinkie Pie,

You have to help me! How can a ‘party’ be so boring!?

Sorry, let me back up a little. The longer it takes me to write this letter, the less I have to hear about how nice it is to meet me. At least I was learning something when they were talking about architecture in a society with very few unicorns.

So I’ve been in Stalliongrad for an evening and so far it’s just as bad as I thought it’d be. I met Mayor Hoofsome and his wife Charity. Both are upstanding ponies, if a tad more formal than I’m really used to. As I’m writing that, I feel ridiculous, surrounded by three princesses. I just know Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Cadence. They’re like family, so I guess I get to see them in ways not a lot of other ponies get to see. This is just a learning experience; I know that, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. I’d much rather be reading right now than hearing about how a fourth princess will be a ‘boon on Equestrian society,’ and how Mayor Hoofsome is ‘sure he’ll see a rise in ore production of 32%’ as a result.

The worst part of that is I’m dying to do the math on those statistics, but I don’t have the necessary figures!

This party is less of a party and more of a mental root canal. I’d kill for a real party, a Pinkie Party right about now. Well, maybe kill is too strong a word, but I’d fill out paperwork in triplicate to requisition one.

And now I’m daydreaming about paperwork. UGH.

You’re always able to find fun in pretty much anything, Pinkie. Maybe you have some advice on making the best out of this situation. I’d love to hear from you; I’ve been gone for just a couple weeks and I already miss you all terribly.

-Twilight Sparkle

June 26, 2013

Hiya, Twilight!

Oooh, a bad party, huh? Maybe you're at a gala and not a party. When we all went to the Grand Galloping Gala, boy did I learn there was a difference. But you’re in luck, because Professor Pinkie has a Ph.D in Fun Studies! In fact, the ‘P’ in Ph.D stands for ‘fun’. Wait, that’s not right. Ummm… ‘phun’! That’s better!

If you wanna party right, then just follow these steps:

P – Personality! Find out what those ponies like and bring them together.
A – Are you playing games? Games rev up the fun!
R – Remember the refreshments. Guests that are full are full of fun and laughter, too!
T – Take the lead! The party starts with you! Kick out the jams and boogie! Tell some jokes! Get those ponies into a good mood!
Y- You can make a difference – Even if it’s not your party, you can be the party. Put on a smile and jump right in!

Your party will probably be over before you get this, but just in case, I’m enclosing two sock puppets. You’re already under the table, so just slip them on, raise up those hooves, and bring the funny! If sock puppets don’t sock it to 'em, then nothing will!

And what are you talking about, Twi?! You totally have the figure to do math! You’re slim, trim, and fit as a fiddle! Most of the accountants I’ve seen are a little pudgy, so I don’t know what you’re worried about.

So, guess what! I’m in Canterberry at the Canterberry Streamer Company’s public tour. We’re taking a little break right now. The guide said that we had some ‘excessive bounciness’ in the group and that we were getting a little over-stimulated. I didn’t see any of that, though! I was too busy running to the different rooms and checking out the new merchandise! Twilight, they’ve got everything here! Streamers that stream more to one side, in case it’s windy outside. Soft streamers that you can weave into a blanket if ponies are staying over! These ponies thought of everything! My mouth is watering just thinking about all of the party potential here. Seriously, it is. You can eat some of these streamers!

Oops, I better get back to this tour. I just noticed that the guide is getting the other ponies and leading them out, but he’s being really quiet about it. Maybe some of these streamers are noise activated! Anyway, I hope you get out from under that table, or at least put on a good puppet show!

With laughter (and complimentary streamers),

Pinkie Pie

June 28th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, attempting a new sending spell to mimic dragonfire.

Dear Pinkie Pie,

I love these sock puppets. You made them look like Smarty Pants on purpose, didn’t you? I read your letter, opened the package, and I know the silliest looking smile spread across my face (I know because Shining laughed at me until Cadence jabbed him in the side). I just wanted to snuggle them, they’re so cute. Oh, I feel like a filly again. Thank you so much, Pinkie.

It was too late for that party, but I’ll try my best to follow your ‘PARTY’ acronym. I’ll probably have to be a bit more subtle, and I can’t do anything about the food particularly, but hopefully I can steer some of these dinners into something less boring.

I’ve never been to Canterberry, I hope it’s as lovely as all the stories say. I look forward to seeing some of those streamers in action when we all get home again; I really do want a Pinkie Party so bad right now. Even if it means there will be cake. It’s been less than a week and I’m already sick to death of cake.

And that wasn’t the type of figure I meant. I meant…um…nevermind. Thank you anyway; I try to watch what I eat. When I’m not having cake after cake shoved down my muzzle, anyway. Seriously, I love cake, I do, but I’ve had so much of it!

The last few days haven’t been as bad as the first couple. I think I’m getting used to this, even if it still makes me feel uncomfortable and bored sometimes. We had some more meetings with Very Important Ponies, and although some of them are kinda stuff, a lot of them are nice. Haven’t had a chance to make any new friends, but most of them are still good at heart and they care about this city. Hopefully things will continue to get better, even if I’m missing you girls more and more at the same time.

I’m leaving for Manehattan in a few days. I’m not sure the exact places we’re going, or what order, but hopefully one of these trips we cross paths. I’d love to see your smile sometime this summer. You have the best smile.

-Twilight Sparkle

PS I ran into some trouble with my spell and had to resend this. Hopefully you’re still in Canterberry, or it’s going to have some trouble finding you. It would be funny if you’re already in Manehattan and I run into you before you even get this letter. Knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if that really happens.

…I think I’m expecting it now. Which means I probably won’t run into you, since I’m expecting it. But now I think it won’t happen and—AUGH

-Twilight Sparkle (July 1st)

July 22nd, 2013

Dear Twilight,

Sorry if this letter is kinda messy. I've been sliding in the mud with river otters. Oh, and exposing crooks, too! Princess Celestia was there and we were all super muddy at the end! It was a blast, but it seems like every time I look, I find another streak of mud. Otters must have really good soap.

So, Mrs. Cake had this huge stack of letters in her room that she forgot to give me, so I just got yours. I knew you’d recognize Smarty Pants’ cousins! I called them Clip and Clop, though Mrs. Cake made a weird face when I showed Clop to her. Dunno why.

And you’re tired of cake?! What are you, crazy? Maybe they just have bad cake there. Is that possible? Can you have bad cake? Well, if you really can’t eat any more, maybe you could use my Hoof and Poof Brussels Sprout Strategy! You see, I love to eat, but I just can’t stand Brussels sprouts. Remember when we found out that Apple Bloom hadn’t washed her quilt for, like, ever? Remember how it smelled? Just thinking about Applejack’s face when she pulled that blanket off the bed makes me crack up! Anyway, that’s how Brussels sprouts smell to me. Like sour, sweaty, stinky quilting!

Problem is, sometimes ponies serve Brussels sprouts before dessert! Then you're stuck with a bunch of stinky sprouts before you can have any yummy pie! That’s why I came up with my strategy! Those sprouts aren’t keeping me from ice cream! Anyway, here’s how it goes. First, put a napkin on the floor under the table. Then, when you’re eating, stick a sprout with your fork and bring it right up to your mouth. Use your other hoof to cover both the sprout and your mouth, like you are trying to make sure you’re not chewing with your mouth open. Make a really chewy motion with your mouth, while secretly pulling the sprout off with your hoof. Maybe make some 'yum' noises, too. Then, drop the sprout onto the floor and repeat. It should work for cake, too, but don’t waste it! If you don’t want it, mail it to me!

Twilight, I guess I spend so much time having fun with my friends that sometimes I forget that being alone can be fun, too. I've got this ginormous stack of letters, and I love reading them, but they make me miss you guys a lot. I was laying here in this meadow, looking up at the sky, and wishing everyone would come back to Ponyville. All of a sudden, this cloud came by that looked just like Applejack! And then one blew over that looked like Mr. Waddle’s tie, and another that looked like Philomena! Soon, I was playing Guess The Cloud and cracking up over the silly shapes they’d change into. That made me start rolling around back and forth, laughing, and then I was just rolling around to get dizzy. I’d get up and try to walk in a straight line, but then I’d fall over and start laughing again, which made me roll around some more!

Where was I going with this… Oh, yeah! I forgot that being alone can sometimes be fun, too! It’s not like hanging out with your friends, but when you laugh, others laugh with you, even if it’s just a sky full of clouds.

So, now my sides kinda hurt from falling over so much, and my cheeks hurt from all the giggling, but I’m really happy. I’ve slid with otters and the Princess, foiled an evil land grab, and laughed at the clouds, but my favorite thing is that I have all these letters from my friends! Every time I get one, it’s almost like you’re here with me, and nothing is better than being with my girls!

Okay, I gotta write to Applejack, but write me back and tell me everything about Manehattan! Oh, doesn't Donut Joe have a shop there? If the ponies there are being too stuffy, just take them down for one of his lemon filled donuts! Nopony can resist that!

With laughter (and crampy cheeks),

Pinkie Pie

August 3rd

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Their names are Clip and Clop? That’s so adorable! Oh, I love them both so much; they’ve been little bits of Ponyville I can take with me everywhere, even if I can’t play with them at any of the meetings I have to attend. I’ve managed to sneak them with me sometimes, though. Just knowing they’re there is enough to bring a silly smile to my face. As hard as leaving everypony behind for the summer has been, I keep finding these special little things that remind me of you girls, and when I think of them I get a little less homesick.

Or, at least, that’s how things are now. I had a rough and confusing couple of weeks just recently. I’d tell you about Manehattan, but I was panicking so badly I’m afraid I don’t remember much of it. A few formal dinners I had to sit through and some tours I can’t really remember. I did go to the Donut Joe’s while I was there, but I just had coffee. I really have had too much cake, and yes there is such a thing (for me, anyway, although I don’t know how you never get tired of it). That was one of the few hours I really had to myself while I was there, because everypony was worried about me and I always had them around to make sure I didn’t go ~~crazy~~ crazier.

That’s all over now, though. I had to take a short vacation from my vacation and go see Applejack and Rainbow Dash. We all met in Las Pegasus, because…well, because we made a big mess together and needed to fix it.

So we fixed it, and now I can’t help but smile when I read over everypony’s letters again and again, or play this record Rainbow sent me, or play with Clip and Clop. When you’re reading this letter, I want you to picture me at my happiest. That’s how I look right now, regardless of how busy and bored I’ve been here in Neighagra Falls (ribbon cutting ceremonies are worse than they sound…actually, I don’t know how they sound to you; you’re a huge fan of ribbon and streamers…Okay, ribbon cutting ceremonies are as boring as the Grand Galloping Gala), I just can’t stop smiling.

Tell me about the places you’ve been, Pinkie. I tried to get the muddy otter story out of Princess Celestia, but she’s not budging on it. That, or she turns around and asks me things about Las Pegasus I’d have trouble telling to somepony who wasn’t like a second mom to me as a filly.

I miss everyone terribly still, but it’s different now; I can’t wait for this big Pinkie Party when we all get home. I’m just full of optimism about all of it. It’s like…

Pinkie, this might be bringing up something sad for you, but I’m not sure and I can’t stop thinking about it. After Starswirl’s spell scrambled everypony’s cutie marks, you were the last pony we got to when we were fixing it. Whenever I gave everypony their elements back, I could see a rush of memories pass over their eyes, but it was a little different for you. Everypony else had found a little bit of who they really are before they got their necklaces, so it wasn’t a huge surprise for them when their memories returned.

You…it happened all at once, and I saw it in your eyes. I saw your memories and your smile, your huge and wonderful smile that can break through to anypony and everypony, reappear at the same time. I remember feeling at that moment, when you became yourself again, that everything was going to be okay again.

I feel that way right now. That’s what it’s like, only all the time.

Hope to hear from you soon, I miss you.

-Twilight Sparkle

Aug. 14th

Hiya, Twilight!

You’ve been sneaking in Clip and Clop? Twilight, that’s what I do, too! You just never know when sock puppets are gonna to come in handy. They’re an all-purpose ingredient for hilariosity! I don’t know what I woulda done without my sock puppet during that boring hot air balloon safety training class the mayor forced me to take before the Running of the Leaves. That stallion went on and on about a bunch of stuff forever! I probably would have just gone to sleep but I had Mr. Cheeperth with me! He’s my sock puppet canary who sings with a lisp! Halfway through the class, that teacher said Mr. Cheeperth and I had to give a concert out in the hallway!

Speaking of concerts, sorry that this letter kinda messy. I’m in Appleoosa, and boy, has this place grown! Big enough to attract some real stars to that club we helped build! Twilight, guess who’s here? Radioherd! You know how much I love those guys! Well, I guess I love them… I still haven’t figured out what any of those lyrics mean.

But anyway, what I’m trying to say is that it’s kinda hard to write a letter with all these ponies getting down and bumping into me all the time, but I was sorta hoping that some of the good vibes from here would get stuck in the envelope, you know, ‘cause you’ve been sad. I’ve been jumping around and waving these pages all over the place to try and get booty-shaking goodness into the envelope as possible.

So you made a big mess, huh? Oh, I know what it’s like to make a big mess out of something! I make a big mess out of Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen about three times a week. Then Mr. Cake turns purple and I have to clean it all up. Mopping usually not much fun, but I had Rarity make up these terry cloth booties and now I just skate around in the kitchen. It’s like ice skating, but with a fresh lemon scent!

I don’t get something about your letter, though. If you and Applejack and Rainbow weren’t together, then how did you make the big mess in Las Pegasus that you all had to fix? Wouldn’t you have to be together to make the mess first? I know Rainbow flies into stuff sometimes, but did she hit something really big, and then you guys all had to get together and build a building all up from scratch will a bunch of angry ponies all stood around tapping their hooves? Because if you did, I’ll bet it’s the bestest building they have now!

You were probably the designer and you walked around with one of those bendy ruler things that doesn’t come back to you when you throw it. I tried to tell Ten Penny that if it looks like a boomerang that it should come back like a boomerang when he stopped by Sugarcube Corner before work, but he just took his bag of donuts and left.

Oops, I guess holding up my lighter wasn’t such a hot idea. Hee-hee! Get it? ‘Hot!’ Anyway, I guess Applejack would’ve built it 'cause she’s good at that stuff. She was probably way up high on one of those extendy ladders and when she needed stuff, you just tied it to your boomerang ruler and threw it up to her. You’re the smartest smarty that ever smarted, so you must have discovered how to get that ruler to work by now.

Oh, and then Rainbow probably flew all over the place once it was finished, making those raaaaaaawwwwmmm fast noises she makes and showering the whole building in coolness so that everypony would come and see it. I’ll bet those grumpy Las Pegasus ponies loved you guys after that!

Twilight, that sounds totally fun!!! Why didn’t you invite me?! I wanna build a great, big building with all kinds of games in it!

Oh, but I do understand what you mean about the ribbon cutting ceremonies. Ponies get all touchy at those. Sweetie Belle and I had a great time with one in Rarity’s supply room when she was making those booties for me. Well, we had a good time until Rarity came in to get some thread. She took one look at us and started yelling! I guess those ribbons were special or something, but honestly, they just looked like regular old super-shiny, gem-encrusted, golden-threaded ribbons to me. Maybe she just felt left out because we started without her.

Oops, sorry about that. Some pony just spilled his cider on me. I don’t really mind, but I’m getting some weird looks now. I guess nopony else here is sucking on their mane, but why let good cider go to waste?!

Ohohoh! They’re playing Mare Mare!

Okay, I got knocked over, and things are getting sorta trample-y, so I might have to tell you about Celestia and the otters when I get back to Ponyville again.

Before I go, though, you asked about what it was like to get my cutie mark back. Twilight, did you ever get a present that you really, really wanted? That day was like that but a zillion times better! I was so sad. Nothing was going right on the farm and I just couldn’t figure out why. Then it was like ZAM! and it all made sense again! I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t making anypony else happy, and that’s what I love to do the most!

But right now, all I think I’m doing is making the janitors happy. I've got all this of gum stuck to my tummy and I'm covered in wet ticket stubs. I’d better wrap this up and find a shower! Or at least an all-night dessert shop.

With laughter (and hoofmarks on my back),

Pinkie Pie

August 23rd

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Your letters always make me smile.

I’ve been so hectic these past few weeks I haven’t had a chance to write to anypony, and I had to read your letter again first, and it made me smile again. I can’t wait to see you again and hear about the otters.

When I said the three of us made a mess, it was kind of like spilling stuff all over a kitchen, only instead of a kitchen it was each other, and instead of flour, milk, and eggs, it was our emotions. Okay, that’s really not like a kitchen mess. It was a metaphorical mess, but one we cleaned up by talking to each other, so our words were like those booties, and the lemon scent was the three of us figuring out what we wanted, and—augh, I’m going cross-eyed.

All that’s really important about it is that we did clean up the mess. It’s maybe caused some new, little messes, but…well, that’s part of baking, isn’t it? If you’re going to make cupcakes, you’re going to have to make a little bit of a mess. Just think of it like that, only I’m talking about emotions.

Okay, I don’t understand me right now, either.

Anyway, I hope you’re having a great time wherever you are now. I can’t wait to see everypony again, and the summer’s end just gets closer and closer. Maybe I’ll have cleaned up the mess in my own head by then.

…

Ignore that last part, Pinkie. I’m in an odd mood today and I just need to distract myself. I thought writing letters would help, and it has a little, but I keep thinking around in circles. I think I’ll try to work on something I’ve been delaying for a while.

Hope those hoofmarks on your back washed off! Boogie a little extra hard for me next time.

-Twilight Sparkle

Sept. 2nd

Dear Princess Sparkle!

I don’t know if you know this, Twilight, but I’m still jumping up and down and squealing a lot that Equestria finally has a princess of sparkliness! Celestia can raise the sun, Luna can control the moon, and you can make the sky all pretty by making sparklerific snowflakes and super-twinkly stars! You should make a royal decree and tell everypony that from this day forth, the day is to be known as Twilight-Sparkle’s-No-Snarkle-Up-Past-Darkle-Having-A-Larkle-In-The-Parkle-Super-Summer-Holiday-Day where everything has to be all shiny and sparkletastic! We could have all wear special hats with sparkles stuck all over them and eat lots of crystallized sugar rock candy and sequins! Well, maybe not the sequins. I ate a bunch of Rarity’s one time and she got sort of mad at me. And they gave me a tummy ache. Sometimes what’s yummy for your eyes isn’t yummy for your tummy. On the other hoof, going to the bathroom was a little more fun for a while.

Ohhhhhh! I get it now! You made a Heart Mess. Do you remember when I made a Heart Mess on my birthday when I thought you girls didn’t like me anymore? My heart felt all sad and deflated like a three day old balloon. But you girls are my best friends, and in the end, we were really just trying to make each other smile, but we just missed a little bit. Sometimes I still miss a little bit, but I always keep trying! Like, yesterday, I tried to pounce-hug Roseluck, but I missed and ended up hugging her box hedge. She helped to pull me out, and then I got to hug her all I wanted to. So that’s what I think. If you miss when you try to tell your friends you love them, you just gotta pull yourself out of that hedge, spit those yucky leaves and spiders out of your mouth, and give that hug your all!

So, I’m back here in Ponyville, and I think I’m going to stay. This summer has been all hikey and wandery and backandforthandallovertheplacey but I’ve gotten all the stuff I needed to get for my secret mission! And I’m kind of out of bits for the train.

Speaking of bits, the Cake’s have done really well lately! They bought a bunch of new mixers and spoons and stuff! They said that they’d had fewer inventory shortages this summer. I promised to keep a close eye on things from here on out! I don’t know who’s swiping stuff around here, but I told the Cakes that I was going to sit in the kitchen with all those succulent, glistening, sugary-sweet, completely irresistible, totally delicious cakes and pies until I found out. Mr. Cake just rubbed his head and said he needed some aspirin. That stallion goes through more bottles of that stuff…

And, Twilight, I dunno if he’s writing to you, but I think Spike’s ready for you to come home. I poked my head in the library and everything was reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyy clean in there. I tried to just hang out for a bit, but he kept making me take books off the shelves and throw them all over the place while he picked them up, and that was fun, but he started acting all funny when I started throwing paper all over the place. Something about mixing up “the siss” papers or something. I think he’s kinda losing it, Twilight. When I left, he was dusting Owlowiscious and I think your owl was getting a little tired of it.

I should go. It’s about time for my first round of kitchen guard duty, but please come home soon! We gotta plan that holiday out!

With laughter (and twelve crates of sparklers)

Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy and Rarity

View Online

Dear Rarity,

I certainly hope that I've sent this to the right address. Oh my, it would just be dreadful if you never got this and were waiting there in Baltimare, expecting a letter that never came. I can just imagine the look of disappointment on your face, a face let down severely by one of your best friends. I can't stomach the thought, it's absolutely awful. I might send you two letters, just in case there is a problem with the mailmare...

Also, is my penmanship legible enough for you to read? I normally write in cursive, but I can print if you prefer.

Oh dear, this letter is just terrible so far. Mind if I start over?

~~Dear Rarity,~~

~~Is this okay? Can you read this?~~

Dear Rarity,

I've decided to stick to cursive. I hope that you can read it, because I fear my printed hoof was far less than perfect.

Anyway, I hope that you're finding your stay comfortable in Baltimare. I myself have only just gotten into Whinniepeg, and I'm writing this letter from within that cute little cottage that I told you so much about. I don't have much information on the city yet, because I haven't visited. But I'll tell you all about it as soon as I can.

In any case, what I can tell you is a little bit about my trip up here.

As you know, I chose to fly up, because anything up north is just so breathtaking when you're flying overhead (oh Rarity, the scenery was just wonderful! We'll have to chat about it another time). I had to bring my passport of course, because I was flying into a different country. When I touched down near the border to cross, something very strange happened.

There were a few stallions lounging outside the station as I pulled up. Apparently they wanted to talk to me, because they whistled to me before I could even enter the station. I don't think they worked there, but they gave me some advice... or at least I think they did. As I walked in, they smiled, whistled some more, and told me to quote, "shake my money-maker".

Oh and Rarity, I was so concerned, for I just hadn't brought a money-maker. I wasn't sure what a money-maker was, really, or why you had to shake them. I thought that it was something that I needed to bring to get into the country at first. I thought I had travelled all this way just to be turned back because I didn't have the requirements to get in.

I just about had a heart attack. I walked in a very uncertain pony, and as you know, being uncertain is something that I'm just not comfortable with. I didn't know what they would do with me. I thought they might detain me, like, in some sort of terrible dungeon. Oh dear, the thought scares me even still!

Fortunately, the ponies behind the counter were very nice. They told me that I didn't need a money-maker to get in, and even laughed it off. I thought that was very kind of them. They also told me that they didn't have a dungeon, and that further settled my racing heart. After that mess, I got in no trouble, and it was a short, thankfully uneventful trip to my cottage.

I'm still a bit concerned though. I think tomorrow I'll go into town and search for a money-maker, because I might need one to get back into Ponyville, don't you think?

Oh my, I've rambled quite a bit, haven't I? I think I should end it for now. Fortunately I bought those extra long scrolls, because I just knew I'd have too much to talk about...

Please send me a letter back as soon as you can! I'm anxious to hear from you.

- With love,
Fluttershy

P.S.- do you own a money-maker? Do you think I'll need one?

Dearest Fluttershy,

Those stallions told you to WHAT?! WHO WERE THEY?! Fluttershy, that was a crass and uncouth thing they said to you! You cannot allow stallions to talk to you in such a way! The nerve of them! To say as much to a demure and delicate mare as yourself—have they no decency? Of all the base, uncivilized, colloquial—oh, I should've come with you! The thought of leaving you to alone to deal with—you must be careful! Stallions are ravenous lust-wolves, just waiting to devour sweet innocent mares such as yourself; you must be firm and clear when dealing with them—Ah! I don't mean to alarm you, though. I'm just so worried for you to be on you're own! Do promise me you'll be careful! Do not give stallions like those so much as the time of day.

Oh, of course this is not something you need lock yourself in your cottage about or anything—I would hate for to miss-out on enjoying yourself because of something like this. Oh dear, you weren't considering that just now, were you? I assure you there is no need for that! I do apologize, it was just that this was quite a shock. My heart is still aflutter—but enough about that, for now. Write me immediately if anything similar happens again, though!

Besides that, it sounds like your flight up was lovely. I cannot wait to hear a full description at a later date. I wish my trip was as nice, but it was nothing more than a long, dreary train ride. The city of Baltimare is not much better, either, from what I've seen of it up to this point. I'm just not sure about this whole thing, Fluttershy. I will be meeting with the director to discuss what direction he wants to go with the costumes, though.

Oh, the play that I'll be designing the costumes for is Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream! I do so love that play, so at least that is something. I wonder if the director will adhere to the original setting of the play, and place it during the era of ancient antiquity—or will presume to alter the work of the greatest playwright of the Equestrian language. (Perhaps you have picked up on my tone as to what my thoughts are on the matter, should he proposes such a thing—though, the way things have been going up to this point, I wouldn't be surprised if that is exactly what he chooses to do. Oh, you should see the room they set me up with! It's—oh dear, I'm still in parenthesis, aren't I?) The room is terribly mundane and exceptionally unremarkable—and they had it picked out for me ahead of time! Did they not think possibly I would prefer to stay in a fancy hotel, or something comparable, on my own means?

Oh, perhaps I am being a touch ungrateful—they did go through the trouble to set me up with a place to say. And of course, I showered them with praises for doing so—but really: is an elegant, glamorous home-of-the-next-month-or-perhaps-longer too much to ask?

In any case, I do hope you're enjoying your vacation, and am waiting with baited breath for you're next letter. How is Whinniepeg? I'm sure there must be some nice... well, to be honest, I haven't the slightest idea of what Winniepeg has going for it, if anything. If nothing else, it must be—quaint, or something along those lines, I should imagine? Oh, and how's the weather? Is it—it's not snowing there, is it?

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

P.S. Your cursive writing is simply gorgeous, darling, you have no need to worry in the slightest.

July 1, 2013

Dear Rarity,

Oh my.

Is it something I did? I hadn’t realized that stallions were so dangerous, they’re always so nice to me, including the ones outside the station. Was I in real danger? Oh dear, I can’t believe how naive I was, I could have been killed- or worse! What’s worse than being killed? I don’t know but the thought of there being something worse than being killed frightens me so! Oh Rarity, I’m not so sure, maybe I should stay in my cottage. It’s very safe in here. At least I’ll avoid going into the city for a few more days, it’s the least I can do to protect myself.

I will definitely be sure to write you if another matter comes up! Oh but I hope it doesn’t come to that...

Fortunately Albert just hoofed me a paper bag, I had started hyperventilating. But I’m all right now, no worries. Just a bit jittery.

Oh, right, forgive me. I haven’t told you much about anything since I’ve gotten up here, have I? You don’t even know who Albert is. My apologies. Allow me to think back.

I met Albert a few days ago. He is a Canadian moose who happened upon my cottage when he walked in from the forest. Apparently he’s been lost for quite some time, so I gave him a home to stay in for the time being. Have you ever met a moose before? He is a very large creature, so he barely fits inside the cottage. But what sort of hostess would I be if I hadn’t invited him inside for some tea?

Anyway, Albert’s the first friend I’ve met here in Whinniepeg. Since then I’ve only met a couple more: a sparrow that visits to feed every now and an otter with a balding head. All of them are good company, but Albert is the one that I spend the most time with. He’s very good at Twister. Did you even think that a moose could be good at Twister? It came as a surprise to me, not to discredit Albert or anything. That would be rude.

The wilderness is lovely. The pines are all so very nice, and the trails are beautiful. There are so many flowers in bloom that I don’t know which ones to sniff first. I’d pick one for you and send it, but I don’t want it to get all crumpled in the mail. Besides, I’m sure that you’ll get tons of flowers for being in your show. Isn’t that what they do after performances? Hand out flowers? That sounds nice.

I’m sorry to hear about your trip there. Sounds like it was dreadful. And I’m even more sorry to hear about where you’re living. I agree, you deserve to stay in a place to your liking, that’s perfectly reasonable. But that’s not to say you can’t make the most of it, right? (Right)?

I’m curious about the play, I don’t know much about it. Tell me a little bit about the production? It’s so very exciting to hear that you get to be a part of such a big work! You’ll have to tell me everything about it- the costumes you’re designing, the set they’re building, what the play is about, all of it! Also, feel free to tell me if your living conditions ever improve. I just want to know that you’re getting along okay.

Please write back whenever you get the time, no rush here, I know that you must be very busy...

- With love,
Fluttershy

P.S.- Are you sure?

July 8th

Dearest Fluttershy,

The production goes well! I have to say, having at last resigned myself to my continued stay, I am coming to appreciate my environs a bit more. You were quite right to suggest that I make the most of it, and I thank you for it.

One of the first things I did to adapt to my current local is attempt to scout out what passes for a spa here. While a day spa of the the likes our dear Aloe and Lotus run is nowhere to be found, I did find some quaint little locale calling itself a massage parlor. Things got a bit... interesting in there. The masseuse is a lovely earth pony called Vera (I really must ask her if she has relatives in Ponyville, the resemblance is quite striking). She is extremely talented, but she asked the most unusual question. She wished to know if I would like a "Happy ending."

I have to admit I thought she was perhaps making a joke, so I responded "What princess would not?" I'm... well, I don't wish to detail what went on from there, suffice to say the service was outstanding, if a bit surprising. I believe I shall be requiring more of Vera's services in the near future, though I shall have to think very hard about agreeing to anything extra. Some things really should not be done by a professional. Speaking of, our dear Twilight once told me you practice massage on your animals, do you ever need a pony subject to stay in practice? Terribly sorry, rambling...

In an effort to get to know the cast better, I made some inquiries into the male leads, thinking it might be nice to go out for a night of dancing or such. I've hit a bit of a roadblock there, it seems the stallions all have coltfriends. It was terribly awkward for all involved. Stranger still, it seems the mares in the troop are all dating other mares. I wasn't quite sure what to make of this. Certainly I am used to seeing Lyra and Bon Bon around town, but these mares are so brazen in their public displays of affection! I don't know if I could ever be so brave as to kiss another mare the way they were kissing. Not without consuming large quantities of good wine at any rate.

I'm very sorry, the play itself just has not interested me enough to really sit down and watch it yet. I suppose I shall have to do so at some point. Thus far I am not impressed with the director and producer, so I doubt the quality of the production. Besides, this sort of thing is really better enjoyed with somepony special to you to watch it with. As for the costumes they are so terribly boring to make. Everything has a pattern and adding my own touches is frowned upon. They didn't need a designer here, they needed a seamstress.

I miss you all so terribly, I look forward to our reunion as every day passes.

-Love

Rarity.

-P.S. Upon our return, I wonder if I might trouble you to come visit the shop some evening. We could drink some wine and discuss what it might mean to be brave with a friend.

July 9th

Dearest Fluttershy,

I'm not entirely certain how best to put this... Fine, out with it then. In a moment of extreme inebriation and self pity I may have sent you a missive suggesting some... untoward things to you. Things I have felt... but never actually said to you because you are my dear sweet friend and I have no wish to make you uncomfortable.

I am writing to apologize. First of all, I owe you an apology for hiding that from you. I should have aired that dirty laundry with you long ago so that we could have moved past it. Now I have told you in the worst possible way and I feel absolutely horrid for it. It's just this job... The ponies are nice enough but I am so dreadfully bored here! I might feel better were I allowed to create but even that is denied me and I HATE IT. Sorry.

Regarding my offer for talk over wine... I think perhaps it would be best for us to have that talk over tea while your friend pours her heart out to you. Let me down gently, won't you? Enjoy the rest of your vacation... I think I may have some frustrations to take out on upper management. I will NOT be denied my right to design.

~~Love,~~Sincerely ~~Sorry~~ Yours,
Rarity

July 15th

Dearest Fluttershy,

Well, that was an experience. After I made a fuss about the costume designs the lead actress quit, the director skipped town, and the remainder of the crew walked out on rehearsal. After the fuss Fancypants made about this production I couldn't let that stand. I scoured the city for days to locate the star, and with much begging and pleading I managed to persuade her to come back. She and I gathered the troop together with rallying cries of the show must go on. I now have a new problem; they want me to direct! I have little idea if I am doing this right, but they only seem to expect me to tell them what to do and how to emote and such. As it turns out I have some talent for this.

Well, time for rehearsal. Wish me luck, darling. Or, I suppose, tell me to "break a leg."

~~Deepest Affections,Love,~~Yours Truly,

Rarity

P.S. There is the smallest chance that a couple of letters made it to you before this one, the mail service tells me they have been experiencing long delays and lost mail lately. If you by chance receive a letter postmarked July 8th or 9th would you be a dear and burn that?

P.S.S. Nevermind what I said, read them.

Aug 9th

Dearest Fluttershy,

~~I'm sorry, I'm dreadfully sorry, I'm the worst pony ever,~~ Please forgive me my lack of correspondence. I have been afraid to write you again, because I sent you some letters about a month back and have not heard from you since. By now, one of three things has happened. You have either received them and have been paralyzed in indecision as to how to respond, you got them and are very confused, or you never got them.

If you did not get them, this is going to be even more confusing, I am so sorry to have placed such a burden on you. One of the many things I find [span]so incredibly attractive[/span] endearing about you is that innocence and purity of heart. That's why it so upset me to hear about those awful stallions whistling at you, or at least that was part of it.

The other part was... I was jealous of them. I've... always considered myself as normal, I wanted the normal dreams of a little filly, find the prince, fall in love, get married. I never doubted that would happen. I have seen fillyfoolers of course, but it never really occurred to me that I could even be attracted to another mare. I had always just assumed that closeness I felt to you was very strong friendship, and I treasure that, so much so that I was quite frightened when I found myself gazing overlong at you... never in an inappropriate way of course!

So there you have it, I am one of the lust wolves. Just... please don't fear me, it's your talent to converse with animals after all, you need fear no beast, least of all me. Tell me anything at all, I promise I won't be upset. The only thing I fear is that I have lost my best friend because I cannot keep my own libido in check, please tell me I haven't lost you.

Yours always,

Rarity

August 12, 2013

Dear Rarity,

I’m so sorry for the delay in my reply. You must feel just awful after waiting for so long to get one, and for that I cannot express how sincerely regretful I am. I’ve just needed some... time. Time to think about what I wanted to say to you...

Rarity, before I go into this, I just want to say something. I’ve always loved you as a friend. I think you’re one of the most dear ponies I’ve ever met, and that’s saying something, please believe me. You are a wonderful pony, and nothing will ever change that, not even the most stressful of times we face.

However, I’m sure you’d like a response from me regarding something else...

Rarity, answer this for me please... that is, if you can- Do... do you really like me? Like... like me like me?

Because I... I-

I like you too.

Wine sounds just lovely, I’d really enjoy coming over.

- With love,
Fluttershy

August 13,

Never ever apologize for that. I was so horrid to do that to you, and by mail no less. Darling I... just can’t express how much you mean to me, and to have risked that for something so base as a crush fills me with shame.

From the day I met you, I felt as if I had found my soul-mate, we just complimented each other in so many ways that I gritted my teeth because had you been born a stallion I may well have proposed on the spot, protocol be damned. You are beautiful in so many ways that it hurt to look at you at times, but I could not stop looking, even if I was convinced nothing would come of it. Do you know I had this plan for the day you brought some undeserving male to meet us all? I was going to put the fear of Rarity into him, oh yes.

"Like" you... darling I love you so much it pains me to even use such a word as "like". Only your gender ever kept me from pursuing you like some lovesick puppy, and as I sit here miles from you contemplating that adorably shy smile I hope is growing on your lips as you read this I realize I don’t care what body Celestia birthed that lovely soul into, I am attracted to you because of you.

And no, my love, if we are to do this, we’re doing it right. First thing upon our return I will make reservations for a very private booth, I shall make us both the most sheer and eye catching evening dresses, and the two to us shall cut a swath through that restaurant as every male eye in the room sees us pass.

I will be your prince, and you will be my princess, and our courtship shall be one they write stories about. Oh Sisters, I am sorry, I am getting so wrapped up in this. I’m likely frightening you again. Yes, yes I like you very much...

Love always,

Rarity

P.S. I believe I’m going to go empty every bottle I have in this hovel. I don’t need such swill to feel intoxicated. I have only to think of you.

August 14th

Hello, love! I promised myself I would not write another letter so soon but I was just so excited getting your letter I could not help it. I want to sing, and dance, and create! I took every bottle in this little apartment and emptied them down the drain, I have no need of such any longer. You have no idea how it has been weighing on me, I hoped you would forgive me my transgressions but to have my affections returned! Oh my sweet I could kiss you!

I promise I won't do that in person until you are ready, love. You are my dear sweet friend always and I would never wish to make you uncomfortable, but I so look forward to experiencing everything with you. I should have told you ages ago, I don't know why I was worried. I mean, yes, you could have rejected me, and that would have hurt, but knowing you feel the same I am kicking myself for not having the courage sooner!

I began work on the dresses last night, I was thinking something black and daring for me, and a nice shimmering gold for you. Oh, the pair we shall make! I know a nice French restaurant we can go to, the owner runs a local charity I make donations to, so we should get a good table. You've made me the happiest mare alive, love. I... just can't believe I am so blessed as to be able to share love with my best friend in the world.

Love always,

Rarity.

Aug 18th

Dearest Fluttershy,

Um... this is going to come off as terribly needy, and I suppose in a way it is. I just received a letter from Rainbow, and it gave me pause. She said she could not recall any indication that you were previously attracted in any way to mares.

To be perfectly honest, prior to her mentioning that, it never occurred to me you had any preference at all. You are horrible at flirting with males (forgive me, I found it adorable, but you are.) You live alone in your cottage, and I've never seen you show any indication that you ever wished that to change.

So, I have been sitting here asking myself: if I were Fluttershy, and a friend expressed interest in me that I did not return, what would I do? And much as I hate it... I am forced to conclude you may have agreed to avoid hurting my feelings.

I've tried telling myself that I asked you to be honest with me, that you would never be so cruel as to tell me I had a chance with you when you didn't mean it... that we promised each other we would not lie to each other to spare the others feelings, Pinkie Promised even. But... you are not Applejack, sometimes it seems kindest to tell little white lies. But this.... this is not little, this could affect the rest of our lives. Darling, I need to know, are you agreeing because you feel the same, or for me?

So little a thing, but it leaves me in cold shakes. I had to write you to even calm down enough to sleep. I hope more than anything you write back and tell me my fears are unfounded, that you would never lie about something so important, that you do like me as you say.

But if my fears are true... I need you to do the bravest thing of all. I need you to be honest with me. You see, my attraction to you aside, I will never stop loving you as my dear sweet friend. And as your friend, I will not have you simply agreeing to date me just because it will make me happy. I want to make you happy... in so many senses of the word.

Even.... if you are hesitant, tell me! I want to take things slow and easy, the truth is... this scares me a bit as well. I've never been attracted to a mare, and... I worry I will be a bad lover, or disappoint you in other ways. That's why I... wanted to ask a friend, because I had hoped we could be... brave together as we tried it. So please... if you are willing to try this, settle my fears... but if I have no chance of ever capturing your heart... do me the greatest kindness and say so.

With love, and with hope that I am being foolish,

Rarity

September 1st

Dearest Fluttershy,

I’ve been thinking a lot, far too much at times. I’ve thought about what you mean to me, about what’s important. About... why I feel as I do.

I’ve wronged you, I’ve overburdened you. I’m no better than those horrid ponies who made you miserable back when you were a model. I would have loved nothing more than to make you feel special and happy... but your repeated lack of correspondence tells me I am doing nothing but making you feel pressured.

Well, the pressure ends now. This letter marks the end. All I ask is that you read this, so you may understand what I hoped for. Think of it as a eulogy for my silly little crush, because after this letter we will never speak of it again.

From the day I first found you crying by the pond, I felt something so very odd around you. You remember, you were lost and alone after your fall from the clouds? I just wanted to hug you at the time, you were so sad. We found you an adult, and they took you back to flight camp. A simple memory of two foals, but I still remember it vividly.

Later, when you came back to Ponyville to tend to the animals here, I found you again. I was overjoyed, and invited you to the spa. That was the first trip of so very many. It was something we shared, a simple thing, but it was important... to us both I always thought, but to me at least.

You made me so very happy for sharing that day with me, none of the other girls really care to be pampered, so it became something just for the two of us. I don’t have many ways to connect with the rest, you see. Applejack and Rainbow have their little competitive thing, Twilight and Rainbow have Daring Do, Pinkie has her parties with all of us. But the spa is very specifically a you and I activity. Others may join from time to time but for us... it’s the usual.

I think... that’s when I began to wonder about how it felt to be around you. None of the other girls made me feel... anxious, I suppose. I wanted every little thing to be perfect for you. You get this little grin on your face when you are happy about something, but don’t want to bother anypony about what caused it. I ache for that grin. Every time I have seen it I get this feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I don’t think any male has never made me react like that.

But... these are not feelings a mare is suppose to have for another mare, or so I have always been told. So I would smile right back, and ignore those feelings. What we had together was enough.

Then... we all left for our separate business. I felt your absence most keenly when I went to that little massage parlor. The masseuse... did something to me that mares should not do to other mares, it embarrassed me, and excited me. And all I could do was lay there at the mercy of that mare, and wish it was you instead. I felt so ashamed for even thinking of you in such a way, as if I had wronged you.

I bought a very strong bottle of something or other. I just laid money down on the counter and asked for something that could make me forget the last day or so. I remember... going around to all the males in the theater and being turned down, and then catching two of the female leads kissing. I couldn’t look away.

That is what lead to that first letter. The one we are going to pretend never happened. You see... I can’t help the way I feel about you, but I can help what I say to you. It doesn’t matter, in the end, if I would be ecstatic to be dating you. Your occasional smiles were enough before, they can still be. It doesn’t matter that I want to do anything to make you happy. I’ll do that anyway. What matters is how I make you feel, I never ever wanted to make you upset, or sad, or stressed. But I’ve done just that.

I don’t fault you for not feeling the same, my darling. I thought... we had a connection, something special, but I suppose it was a one sided thing. You will always be special to me, even if I am not to you. It’s enough.

So... let us never speak of any of it again. Be happy, my darling. That’s all I want.

Forever your friend,

Rarity

September 10, 2013

Dear Rarity,

I’m scared.

I always have been scared.

I’m scared of dragons. I’m scared of shadows. I’ve been scared of what I don’t know since I was just a little pony, since I was born. I cannot help it. It is in my nature. I see something that scares me and I hide away from it because...

Oh, nothing. It isn’t important.

Rarity, I want to admit something to you. I’m very scared to do it, but I feel it needs to be done. You see, of all the things that scare me, I guess there is one thing now that scares me more than all of the other frightening things in the world combined.

I don’t really think I have to explain myself, do I? You understand, oh don’t you?

Rarity,

I love you.

I haven’t written to any of the girls in a long time. I haven’t received any letters from them either. The only ones I’ve received since that time are the ones you’ve sent me. I think I’ve cried a little bit after reading through every one. No... I’ll be honest; I’ve cried a lot. I know that you love me, Rarity. I know that you love me so, so much, and I want to tell you what you want to hear... but...

Rarity,

I love you,

but not like how you love me.

And do you know what scares me most? Do you know what I am most afraid of? I didn’t think I had to explain myself, but... oh, maybe I do. What scares me the most is...

is...

Losing.

Losing all of you.

And I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. But, in the end, I really hurt you, didn’t I? Didn’t I, Rarity? You say that you are still my friend, but...

I’m sorry, Rarity.

I’m so, so very sorry.

- With so, so very much love,
Fluttershy

(P.S. I’m sorry about that offer for tea. I would have most definitely come, if I had not been so scared. If... if I had even loved you like a friend should love you...)

From the Office of Break A. Leg
Head Producer of Starshine Productions

To: Rarity
Re: Mislaid Letter

October 10th

Hey kid! Kinda awkward but uh... I ended up with a letter in my inbox amongst the stacks of bills and I opened it with the rest. Listen, was this what had you so down? I mean c'mon kiddo, you really don't need to sweat it. So the mare wasn't into you, no need to murder your liver over it.

Anywho, I thought I'd drop you a line and forward this along with it. We opened up with the new play you mentioned, and you were right, Canterlot loved it. Though I can't help but think you might be a bit biased about the name. 'Measure for Measure' wasn't exactly the best comedy the old bard wrote.

I hope you're doing okay, kid. Mare trouble can seem like the end of the world, but it's really not. Just keep in mind, you're a trooper, and troopers don't quit. The world is full of hecklers, but you're a star, baby.

Hit me up if you want work again, the new guy is okay but he just doesn't have your charisma, the whole crew misses you.

Break A. Leg

Applejack and Pinkie Pie

View Online

Dear Applejack,

Howdy, partner! I hope you are having a fantexcellent time with the Oranges.

I was thinking about growing oranges, and I’m no farmer, but what I came up with a little while ago might be revolutionary! I think you guys should all dress up as big oranges while you are working. You know, to give the oranges some good role-models. I’ve been trying to think up a good orange song that you could sing, but the only word I know that rhymes with orange is sporange, and I thought maybe you would want to avoid songs with fungus in them.

Speaking of oranges, I hiked all the way over to Detrot to enter into the Maremalade Beauty Pageant. The grand prize was a case of what bakers consider to be the pinnacle of scone toppings: Adelaide’s Top-grade Homemade Marmalade! Trust me, it’s the yummiest, and it’s made with oranges and a few other fruits.

So I get there and it was so amazing! All of these pretty mares getting all dolled up. Rarity would have loved it. I didn’t bring any clothes or make-up, but they had a talent portion of the show. I just figured I’d wow the judges then.

We all go out on stage, and everyone is just kind of looking at me. I figured that was a really great sign! No one could take their eyes off me even though I was still kinda dusty from running all the way there! Some of them were even snickering. I was on a roll!

Then they sent us backstage and made us come out one by one. I don’t really see the point in all of that. I mean, we were already out on stage. Why leave and come back? Anyway, they start asking about lives and hobbies and stuff. Boy, these ponies have some amazing lives! Some of them work at animal shelters or at food banks. Some of them run successful businesses. When I came out, they asked what I did, and I told them my main job is to bake delicious treats and save Equestria from certain doom every few months. But not with the treats. I made that clear. You know, I don’t think they believed me! One of the judges choked on his water and they pounded him on the back while telling me I could go!

I was feeling a little let down, but I knew I could still win them over in the talent portion. These mares were pretty, but they were doing boring stuff, like poetry readings and hoofstands. I knew I had to make a lasting impression, so I came out and played them a selection of standards with my tuba. I made sure to blow EXTRA LOUD so they would really feel my passion. They ended up stopping me halfway through and told me I had won a ‘special prize’ and that I needed to go pick it up immediately.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, AJ?! I WON A BEAUTY PAGEANT!!!

A security guard led me to the back door and handed me a jar of marmalade. Then he took my ticket and told me not to come back in. Weird, huh? But it looks like I made the right decision! I almost brought the gala dress Rarity made for me, but who has room for fancy clothes when you are packing a tuba!

With laughter (and marmalade),

Pinkie Pie

Dear Pinkie Pie,

I’m glad you’re having a good time! What are you doing in Detrot, anyway? I thought you were back in Ponyville...

Well, never mind, that sure sounds exciting. And even all the way across Equestria, you still put a smile on my face. I sure needed that, sugarcube. But, I don’t think dressing up as oranges is really going to help the oranges grow. See, trees need a lot of things, but they don’t really need role models. But I appreciate all that helping you’re trying to do, and I’m sure if you come up with a song you’ll let me know it right away.

While I’m writing to you, you wouldn’t have any tips on dealing with gators, would you? Not little ones like Gummy, but great big ones that wanna eat a pony. I wrote to Fluttershy about it too, but sometimes you got real good ideas.

You know, I should have thought of that sooner. You’re a pretty smart pony, when I can figure what you’re saying. There’s a pony I’m having a bit of trouble with, me and him ain’t really getting along. I reckon you’d never have that problem, you’d just be cheerful and nice to a pony until you’re friends, right?

Well, I guess I wasn’t all that cheerful and nice to the pony today. He’s the pony I’m supposed to be training to take over this farm, his name’s OJ, and I’m gonna have to teach him to farm right, whether he wants to learn or not. Today he sure didn’t seem to want to learn, just getting him to prune some trees was like pulling teeth. I know you ain’t much on farming, but this pony seems to think he can run a farm without lifting a hoof.

But maybe if I take a page from your book, and get him to be friends with me, it’ll make this whole thing easier!

I sure am glad you wrote me, sugarcube. And good luck with... whatever it is you’re doing. I’m sure it’s really something.

Your friend,

Applejack

PS: I guess I’ll just send this to Sugarcube Corner. I hope the Cakes know how to get it to you.

June 25, 2013

Dear Applejack,

Hi! Good thing you sent your letter to Sugarcube Corner! I’ve just been tying letters to balloons, but I can see where Sugarcube Corner would work out better if you don’t have a helium tank with you.

I wrote Dashie a letter yesterday, too. If she writes back, I hope she’ll send it here. Do you think she will? Remember when she was off at the Wonderbolts Academy, and she didn’t write back for, well, at all? Now I’m worried…

But you wrote me back, and that’s why we’re best friends! It's lucky for us both that I came back to Ponyville to drop off that marmalade. Oh, and the tuba. Let me tell you, you get the strangest looks on the Ponyville Express when you’re packing a tuba. Also, don’t try to play the tuba on the train. Those ticket collectors don’t care for polka at all.

However, Gummi loves polka! That’s one of my suggestions for your alligators. Use some musical wiles on those reptiles! Sometimes, if Gummi is feeling a little snappy, I crank up one of his favorite polka albums and he grooves all those bad feelings away on the dance floor!

Now, if your gators don't wanna shake their scales, then I’d go for taffy. It’s pretty sticky. That’ll keep them busy long enough for your workers to do… whatever it is they are doing. Something that doesn’t involve orange costumes. Actually, do the alligators eat the oranges? If they don’t, then maybe you can use the costumes after all! I’ll throw something together and try to send it. Rarity’s gone, but Sweetie Belle said she knew of a good place to get some fabic if I bring her some cinnamon rolls. What material do you think really brings out the orange of oranges? Taffeta?

Okay, back to the alligators. If they are really insistent about biting ponies, just make a couple of pony sculptures out of the taffy. It’s the best of both worlds!

I’m sorry that you are having issues with somepony on the farm. Some ponies (like Cranky) just take a little while to come around, but just do your best to be a friend and they'll warm up for sure! I mean, who doesn’t love Applejack? Well, okay, Flim and Flam, maybe, but besides them, nopony! That reminds me, I think they stopped by Sweet Apple Acres today. I saw Big Mac chasing them out of town. He sure did look angry! Oh, and Fluttershy’s cottage is floating around, but I think the Mayor sent Derpy and Cloudchaser over to check on that.

Oh, one thing about your letter: Why are you putting prunes in the trees? Is it a trade for the oranges?

While everypony’s been gone, I’ve been all over Equestria gathering… things. It’s for a secret project! I tried to set the right mood by wearing my spy suit and goggles, but I took them off when the police detained me. They said that I was ‘conspicuous’ and a ‘pony of interest’. Isn’t that funny, AJ? I’m so interesting that they had to fill out this loooooong report. The police asked me questions for a long time, but finally told me I could go. They passed a bottle of aspirin around and said they were convinced I didn’t have what it took to mastermind a plot. That’s for sure. I'm not really that plot-y. I almost missed my train, though, so I decided that maybe the suit wasn’t such a good plan. I'm not that plan-y, either. By the way, do you have any idea what ‘conspicuous even means?

I’m going to Canterberry in a bit, but keep sending letters to Ponyville! I’ll be back again before you know it.

With laughter (and some cinnamon rolls),

Pinkie Pie

June 27th

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Don’t you worry about Dash. I’m sure you’ll hear back any day now.

Thanks for the idea about the polka. I don’t really know much polka, though... you think bluegrass would work? I could probably rustle up a fiddle, if you’re sure about that. But I ain’t too sure about dressing up as oranges. I don’t think gators eat oranges, but I’m also pretty darn sure that oranges don’t grow to be pony sized, so I ain’t sure it would fool them. The taffy ponies is... an idea. And I sure will keep that in mind.

Now, what was all that going on in Ponyville, with Flim and Flam and Fluttershy’s cottage floating away? Do I need to get back there? And what’s this secret project? Why are you taking trains all over? Pinkie, do you need a pony to help you out? I’m getting a tad nervous, sugarcube. I dunno if it’s for you or Equestria, but... don’t get in too much trouble, okay?

As for OJ, he is kinda like Cranky, but he’s our age, and I ain’t quite as... hard core friendly as you are. I’d have thought he’d open up a bit now, but still no luck. I might have to think of something else. I know it might surprise you, Pinkie, but some ponies can only stay cheerful for so long when another pony keeps rolling his eyes. Maybe if you were here, you could keep it up for me.

You know, there’s a lot of things that make me wish you were here (being there to help you is only one of them.) I was walking through town to go to the beach, and I spotted a bakery, so I stopped in. But it was all... serious! All the treats were laid out one at a time on a frilly napkin, like Rarity got a hold of the place. That’s no way to run a bakery, bakeries oughta be fun and a little silly. Taking cupcake serious ain’t gonna make them good for you, and taking a bakery serious isn’t gonna make cupcakes serious. That’s the way I see it, anyhow.

Now I’m hungry. I think I oughta bake something this weekend. You got any good recipies for oranges? I’m thinking a cake, but I bet you can come up with something fun.

Have fun in Canterberry, and try not to make friends too hard, sugarcube. Especially with guards. Please write me if you need help.

Your friend,

Applejack

June 29, 2013

Hi Applejack!

Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Ponyville any. They were roping up Fluttershy’s cottage when I was leaving. They hitched it up to that Snowflake guy, and last I saw he was pulling it back over to Fluttershy’s meadow. If it’s still floating when I get back, I’m going to ask Fluttershy if we can take rides in it.

Oh, and Big Mac was moving too fast for me to ask any questions. I was just having lunch and then woosh, there went Flim and Flam! Then Big Mac (zoom!) came charging after them, and boy was he mad! Whatever it was, Flim and Flam probably won’t be back anytime soon. Big Mac looked pretty scary. Remember that time the girls tried to get their cutie marks by spelunking in the well and they broke the winch? Yeah, that mad.

I was thinking about your orange farm, and of OJ, when I leaving the streamer factory, and it hit me! New ponies are a lot like oranges. First, you see them from far away, and they look so inviting! They’re so colorifically orange and they smell good so good that you kinda drool a little bit. Okay, maybe the pony isn’t orange and maybe he don’t actually smell good, but you know what I mean. Actually, maybe don’t actually smell ponies you don’t know. Trust me, a lot of ponies don’t like that much.

Anyway, meeting the new pony is like peeling into an orange. You just never know what it’s gonna be like! Sometimes, you dig in and the fruit is so yummy! Other times, it squirts you in the eye. Sometimes there’s too much pith and it’s all bitter. But under all that pith, there’s something sweet just waiting to be uncovered!

If I’m having a little trouble making a new friend, I like to sing this too myself. I wrote it back when Berry Bunches came to Ponyville to visit Golden Harvest. She was kinda sulky for a pony that makes jam for a living, but she did eventually warm up, didn't she? Twilight says it’s because we broke that spell she was under, but I still think the song had something to do with it.

Unfortunately, I can’t really send the tune with it, but that won’t be any problem for you. I know you get all blushy and bashful when we say you’re a great singer, but it’s true! You’ll have the right tune for this in a jiffy, and you guys will be great friends in no time! I suggest singing it by the trees so you can look at the oranges, just in case the lyrics are too subtle.

You never know,
How some fruits grow,
If you don’t take time to explore!
They might be grand.
They might be bland.
They might be rotten to the core!

(You gotta speak these two lines.)
Well, you took a bite,
And it’s not quite right…

But the sour fruit,
Only takes root,
Because their seed’s been growing wrong.
They need sunlight,
To grow up right!
So bring it with this Growing Song!

Oh, I sing of spring,
And friends and things,
Of love and laughter,
And morning dew!
For the smiles they bring,
Mean everything.
And maybe after,
We’ll start anew!

Sometimes it works,
Sometimes it won’t,
But you won’t know unless you try.
Some fruit is sweet,
When first you meet,
Others will make a better pie!

(You gotta speak this part, too!)
But they’re sour as lime,
So why spend the time?

Some fruits have had,
It kinda bad.
They might just need a little love!
So help them grow,
And let them know,
That they are who you’re thinking of!

Oh, I sing of spring,
And friends and things,
Of love and laughter,
And morning dew!
For the smile they bring,
Mean everything.
And maybe after,
We’ll start anew!

With laughter (and a craving for oranges),

Pinkie Pie

July 2nd

Dear Pinkie,

How do you do it, sugarcube? You’re some kind of magic, you know that?

I been working on the farm the past week, and not much changed. OJ was just as grumpy, I was just as cheerful... I was at the end of my rope. So I was looking for anything to try, and I remembered your letter.

So I went out to the orange grove and sang your song. I gotta say, it felt a bit silly at first, but by the time I got to the first chorus I was real into it. Seems somepony left a ladder by a tree, and a wagon piled high in the grove, and I reckon I ought have a talk about leaving out tools and stuff, but it was great for moving around and singing on!

So, round the time I was at the second speaking part, I look up, and who’s sitting there but old Toothy? Just looking at me real soulful and waggin’ his tail in time with the music. Well, I an’t stop a music number to deal with a gator, right?

So I kept on singing, and looking at him, and I guess he thought I was singing at him, and I guess he thought I needed a friend, ‘cause soon as the song was over he found an orange, and used his snout to roll it to me. I didn’t know what to do, so I kicked it back at him. Then he rolled it back, and I had to laugh. Me and old Toothy spent a few minutes just rolling this orange back and forth, and when I had to go because I heard one of the farmhooves calling me, As I walked by, I gave Toothy a pat on the head, like I would with Winona, and he wagged his tail, and he didn’t bite my hoof off!

So, that song really made me feel better, and I did make a new friend, of a sort. I’m gonna go buy a ball, so me and Toothy can play a little bit later.

I also had a great idea for dealing with OJ. The pony’s got a cutie mark that’s a half an orange. So, it just makes sense that he’s gotta like something to do with oranges, right? I’m just gonna have to find out how he got his cutie mark, and then maybe I can use that to show him how much fun farming can be! Wish me luck.

You never did mention where you’re going next, but I hope it’s someplace fun. And remember, I owe you one for the song. I wish I knew how it works, but doggonit, it works every time! I’m awful lucky to have you for a friend, Pinkie. Lemme know if you’re in Palomino Beach, you and me and Toothy can roll a ball around.

Your friend,

Applejack

July 22nd, 2013

Dear Applejack,

Most ponies don’t know this, but alligators just can’t resist a great song! When they're acting up, you gotta get them to get down! Sometimes, when Gummy wants to play but I’ve got to clean up Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, I just throw on his favorite record. Then, we both groove our troubles away on that scootariffic tile they have in there! My troubles usually come back pretty soon when Mr. Cake finds out I’ve been dancing instead of cleaning, but Gummy loves it!

Oh, but I’m so excited that the song worked for you! I know Dashie always makes those barfy noises when I start singing, but I think nothing gets ponies in a good mood like a good song! Looks like Toothy was just lonely all this time. Maybe OJ’s been alone, too, so he’s not very good around ponies. You should try and get them together. Maybe they both just need a little companionship!

And way to go with the ladder and the wagon! When it’s time to really belt out that song, you gotta go the extra mile! Props! Costumes! Small green and purple dragon working a mixing board while a lavender unicorn grumpily holds a boom mic over you! It’s the extras that really sell it. When we all get back together, we should totally write and perform a musical for Ponyville! We can make it a comedy and call it Orange Peals of Laughter!

As for me, I’m on my way to Salt Lick City to visit Confection Perfections! They’re that experimental candy maker that invents all kinds of new and interesting ways to tickle your taste buds! Remember those candies that looked and smelled just like hay but tasted like toffee? Remember when Big Mac got mad at me for stocking your barn with it? I still think those sheep would have liked it better, but anyway, Confection Perfections came up with that. I wrote them a while back and they said I could come and check out their lab! AJ, I’m going to an experimental candy factory! I’ve been squealing since last night! I meet more confused bats that way…

I think when you wrote before, I was off to the Canterbury Streamer Factory. They’re the cutting edge in party technology, and their guided tour was a blast! Mostly because I accidentally set off a big room of streamers that you can shoot off like fireworks. The guide seemed kinda irritated with me after that, but seriously, who puts ‘WARNING! DO NOT ENTER! MULTICOLOR STREAMER EXPLOSIONS BEYOND THIS POINT!’ on a door and doesn't expect any peeking?! Sheesh!

Right now, I’m taking a break in a field of wildflowers. My hooves are a little sore after helping some otters drive away this pony that was trying to steal their land. I’ll tell you the whole story when we get back together, but there was a lot of mud sliding involved. Even Princess Celestia slid down the hill a few times, which primed me up for a prank! Since we were all muddy, I wanted to see if I could fool the guards into thinking I was Celestia for a minute or two, but it’s weird. Mud just doesn’t stick to her. She’d go down the hill and the mud would just slide right off of her when she got up. Not me, though! I’m still finding muddy places on my flank! Too bad, though. I really wanted to give a royal decree!

Oh, and I wanted to say that I was thinking about OJ’s cutie mark, and maybe it’s got something to do with cooking! Growing’s not all you can do with oranges, you know. Maybe he’s got a special orange juice to whip up, or a totally scrummy marmalade just waiting to happen! Trade in that mulcher for a mixer for a couple of days! You never know until you try, right?

Okay, I better move along. This bumblebee won’t leave my cupcake trail mix alone. I don’t mind sharing, but I’m afraid I’m going to accidentially bite it. I’d feel bad all day if I bit a bee. Probably mostly on my tongue.

With laughter (and a persistent bee),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. Sorry this letter is a little late. Mrs. Cake had a big stack of them up in her room that she forgot to give me last time I came back to Ponyville.

July 29th

Dear Pinkie,

I don’t know how you do it, sugarcube, but you were right again! OJ’s cutie mark is in cooking, and I’ve been meaning to share a kitchen with him for a few weeks and learn a bit about using oranges. But first I had to take a trip to Las Pegasus to visit Dash and Twilight, and since then I’ve had to be doing this fancy party thing with my Aunt and Uncle Orange.

Fancy parties make me wish I was back at one of your parties. I hope you’re getting lots of ideas from these places you’re visiting. And I hope most of those ideas are safe... remember, sugarcube, buildings are made of wood and stuff, and the party’s over if you burn the house down. ~~Though that’d probably be more fun than the parties I been at.~~

Anyhow, I did have a bit of fun the other day, and it made me think of you. The Oranges were having one of those big fancy outside parties, and I was there looking all classy in a white dress, eating too-small food and talking to boring ponies. They had some ponies playing that music that puts you to sleep, and the pony I was talking to was going on about yachting or something, so I was ready for nap time.

I could just feel my eyes closing when I felt something brush next to my hooves. I looked down, and there was Old Toothy, ready to join the party. I reckon he heard the music, and came on up to see what’d been going on. Well, that woke me right up. My eyes got real big ‘cause I was a bit worried. I knew Old Toothy wouldn’t hurt me, but I didn’t know if he might hurt these other folks, or if they might hurt them. Or most likely, if they saw him, the fancy ponies might hurt themselves trying to get away from him all at the same time.

Lucky for them, I had an idea. I told the yacht-pony I had to go to the little fillies room, then I ducked behind a bush. I waited there ‘til a waiter passed on by, and grabbed his tray of little fish egg crackers (you know, you’d think really rich ponies would eat the best tasting food... you’d be wrong.) Then I looked around, and when nopony was looking, I tossed one in front of Old Toothy.

He gobbled that right up, so I tossed another one, closer to where I was hiding. He ate that one, and I used those crackers to move him away from all those ponies, and out into the groves where the lake is. You better bet I gave him a good talking to when we got back there. Gators might like parties, but that ain’t the kind of party where they invite gators.

Probably woulda been better if it was.

Anyway, I gotta run, I got more folks to catch up with. Just remember what I told you on that tour of the palace: “Do Not” ain’t a pony misspelling “donut” when it’s in front of “Enter.” Really. I Pinkie promise.

Your friend,

Applejack

August 12th,

SURPRISE!!!

There’s a bunch of confetti in the envelope, so just throw it in the air and start the letter over. Okay, I hope that worked. It’s a kinda tough to pounce-hug somepony through a letter, but maybe that was sorta like it. It’s like an eye pounce-hug!

Is that what contacts are like? Like, are they always pounce-hugging your eyes?

So, do ya miss me?! Doyadoyadoya?! I miss you girls like crazy right now. I’ve been all over the place doing the most fantabulous stuff, but, well, it’s sort of lonely without anypony to share it with. I was looking down at my train ticket yesterday and it said, 'Passengers: 1' on it. That made my lower lip all quivery and I had to eat some of my prescription butterscotch disks. Nurse Redheart gave me a big bag of them when I got that eyepatch, and she said I should have one if I’m ever feeling down, but I kinda think they’re good for just whenever! Why wait on candy?!

Boring parties, huh? What’s with the ponies you girls hang with? Twilight’s been to a bunch of bad parties, too! Maybe there’s something going around. They’ve all got hay fever when they need dance fever! Until we went to the gala, I didn’t even think that bad parties were a real thing. I just thought ponies were being super-picky.

Maybe you just need to kick fewer trees and kick out more jams! Not a lot of ponies know this, but parties are serious business! It’s not all fun and games having fun and games. You can’t just blow up a bunch of balloons or baking tons of yummarific stuff. The best parties are about getting together and having a great time, even when things don’t go right. Maybe the clown is late, or the birthday candles won't light, or the hostess drops the punchbowl and soaks everypony, which totally wasn’t even my fault that one time! Scootaloo started the Hokey Pokey and she said everyone had to put their left hoof in! AJ, it’s just a reflex now! Where was I going with this…?

Oh, yeah! When a party isn’t fun, you gotta make it fun! Turn on some music! Get everypony playing a game! Even if it’s not your party, somepony’s gotta make those good times happen! Oh, believe me, I know ponies can get sorta stuffy about things, but they will usually go along with it in the end, and before you know it, they’re all having a blast! Deep down, everypony wants to have fun. You just gotta take the lead!

But, I feel so sad for Toothy. He just wanted a little room on the dance floor to shake that tail! Maybe I can bring Gummy by and throw them both a big party! And you know what? I’ll bet all the other stuffy ponies will be there by the end!

Oh! Ohohohoh!!! I’ve got to tell you about Confection Perfections! AJ, you’d love it there! They have this whole orchard growing in this great big room. It’s just like outside, but inside! They painted a sky on the ceiling, and they have a pegasus fly over with these bird puppets. They even have these big, fluffy cotton candy clouds hanging from the ceiling. Anyway, they grow apples there, too, but they’re candied apples! Acres and acres of them! I asked if they bucked them off like you do, but the guide said it didn’t work so well. Apparently, after the buck, the apples got stuck and they were outta luck!

So now they hoof-pick them and carefully wrap each one before they stick them in those big ol’ baskets you won’t let me play with any more, even though make super-great turtle costumes! Apple Bloom and I used to take those things and have un-races to see who get to the finish line last. It’s not like we didn’t ask you to un-race, too!

But, back to the trees! AJ, they wanted to hear all about Sweet Apple Acres and maybe trade you some seeds. They talked and talked about hybrid somethingorothers and showed me a family tree of their trees, but I got sorta lost when they got to cross-fertilization. I didn’t even see any crosses. Anyway, they’ve been thinking about growing some trees in the actual outside outside and wondered if you wanted to adopting some. They said you could keep the trees as long as they could come and check them out every once in a while. I told them I’d let you know, but AJ, I’m begging you! If you grow candy apples on your farm, I’ll help out at harvest for the rest of my life! Think of the candy apple cider! The candy apple pie! The candied candied apples! My heart's beating so fast just imagining it!

That sounds like a medical emergency! I'll just pop a few of these butterscotch disks! Ah, sweet relief...

I should wrap this up, I guess. I promised Pumpkin and Pound that we’d play Hide and Seek when I was done writing and they’ve been crawling all over me. I think this calls for a little discipline, tickle style!

With laughter (and two giggling toddlers),

Pinkie Pie

August 23rd

Dear Pinkie,

Those candy apple trees sound right fascinating. I ain’t sure I ever heard of something like that, but if they wanted to write me when I get home I’d be willing to have a talk. I can’t say I don’t see a few problems that might come from growing something like that outside-- wouldn’t the rain wash the candy off and make the ground sticky? And I’m afraid those might be right temping to a lot of critters-- fruit bats, and insects, and pink ponies who live in town. I’m not sure it’d work out, but it could be worth a shot.

Are all the folks doing okay back in town? I hear from Mac, of course, but getting news from him is like getting cider from a rock. And Apple Bloom writes a lot, so I know all about every way her and her friends tried to get their cutie marks (you know, I can’t even find a pony who knows what “parkour” is, let alone what a cutie mark in it would’ve looked like. I just hope Sweetie Belle’s bruises have healed by the time Rarity sees her.) But for all the other ponies in town, I ain’t got a clue.

As for here, I been real busy cleaning up after a storm, but OJ used the fallen oranges to make up a whole batch of treats. They’re mighty fine, I gotta say. He’s been selling them at a stand, and that seems to have perked him right up, and it’s got him seeing the farm in a whole new light. I gotta say I’m relieved, I think by the time I got home this farm’ll be in good hooves. And I’ll be sure to bring you some of his orange ginger cookies, I think you’ll like them a lot.

Anyway, you keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’m sure I’ll find out all about it when I get back home.

Your friend,

Applejack

Sept 1st

Dear Applejack,

Whew, I’m finally back! I heard that Fort Troterdale was a for real, non-stop party city, so I packed up to see if I could get a few pointers! You know, ‘cause they must be some sort of party extra-experts if the whole city’s nothing but a ginomous party. I figured they’d have fountains that shot punch out of them or beds made of cake so you could eat until you got super tired and then snuggle up in the icing and then it would just be right there when you wanted a midnight snack instead of sneaking downstairs into the kitchen and accidentally running into the pots and pans and waking everypony up!

But they didn’t have any of that. They didn’t even have any balloons.

AJ, I think some ponies are really mean to go around saying there’s a huge, super-funtexcellent city that’s a whole big party when there isn’t a party anywhere! There’s just a bunch of wobbly ponies that talk funny, drinking tackilla all the time and falling over! I looked all over the place, but there were no streamers, or presents, or games. Actually, they had some “games” but I couldn’t figure out the rules. They all seemed to be about wrestling in gelatin or standing around in wet shirts. I couldn’t even tell what the score was most of the time.

But I did get these really funny hats with cup holders and flashing lights on them! They even have these LOOOOUUUUUUDDDD sirens you can turn on! I just know you guys are going to love them!

I’m here in Ponyville again, and I think I’m done running around all over Equestria. I’ve got lots of stuff for my SeCrEt MiSsIoN! You’ve gotta say it like that, all spooky sounding because it’s mysterious! I did run into Big Mac walking with Cheerilee a little while ago, but he didn’t seem to want to talk. I mean, more than normal. I asked him all kinds of questions for a while, but then Cheerilee said maybe they needed my help at the bakery. I thought that was kinda weird since it’s the Cake’s day off, but I thought I’d check anyway 'cause Cheerilee's a super-smarty like Twilight. AJ, she was totally wrong! They didn’t need my help. I wonder why she thought that…

I also looked around, but I didn’t see any other pink ponies in town, so I think your candied apples would be safe. I’d be there to guard them from the non-pink ponies, too. I can just see them now, all glisten-y and yummy, hanging there in the sun and smelling so delicious that you’d probably be eating half a tree before you knew it and then you’d take a nap and your hooves would be all sticky and you’d wake up with them stuck to your face. AJ, you shouldn’t do that! I guess maybe I’ll have to guard the tree from you to! Jeez, tree guarding is serious business!

I think Mayor Mare wants you to come home, though. She’s asked me when you’re supposed to be back like five times today. Oh, and there are cows all over the place, for some reason. We keep asking them to maybe go home, or to move out of the streets a little, but they just stare at us all bored looking and chew a lot. I did get them to move them out of the way for a little while by turning on my hat siren! That sent them running around all over the place! Then the mayor confiscated my hat. I guess she liked it, too! I don’t mind, though. I bought twelve when I was down there.

I’m so happy that you made friends with OJ and Toothy and everypony down there on that orange farm! I just knew you would because you’re the nicest, most dependablest, super-runningaroundandgettingworkdoneiest pony I know and I just knew they’d love you as much as we do when they got to know you. I hope all of you girls are coming back to Ponyville soon, ‘cause I miss you all tons and tons and tons!

Oh, and also because there are cows all over the place.

With laughter (and a new siren-hat)

Pinkie Pie

P.S. Have you heard from Fluttershy? I haven’t gotten a letter from her for a long time…

Rarity and Pinkie Pie

View Online

July 2, 2013

Hey Rarity!

You’re probably knee deep in sequins right now, but I just got back from my last trip and it made me think of you the whole time! Actually, if you’re knee deep in sequins, could you swim around in them? If you can, save a tub of them for me!

Oh, so my story! Okay, Zecora told me a little while ago about this punch they make where she comes from. She said you have to harvest blueberries and then tell jokes to them until they aren’t blue any more! The berries get so giggly that they split their sides, and the zebras collect the juice that drips out. Just add the right spices, and it makes this special drink that gets everypony smiling and laughing. They call it Punchline Punch! Isn’t that a scream?

Can’t you just taste it, Rarity? It’s liquid laughter! My tongue got all tingly and I hopped around and around Zecora’s hut, until she said, “Enough, alright! I’ll show you how! But I cannot do it right now. To learn this drink, so light and fizzy, return here when I’m not so busy!”

Well, this pony can take a hint, especially when I’m being locked out, so I went home. But last night, I dreamed that we were all together again, drinking bottles of this stuff, and everyone was crying because we were laughing so hard! We were giggling so badly that Twilight had to cross her legs and hop over to the bathroom because she was about to have an accident. It made me laugh so hard that I shot punch out of my nose! When I woke up, I know it was time!

So, I bounced over to Zecora’s hut and I just knew it was going to be a great day for us both! She was in a hammock taking a nap, which was perfect! She had free time on her hooves. I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything, after all! Well, I was so excited that I jumped over her a few times yelling her name. Then we spent a few minutes untangling her from the hammock. Princess Celestia might want to have somepony take a look at those things! They don’t seem safe. Zecora was all knotted up in it. If I hadn’t of been there, I’m not sure what she'd have done!

We finally set off, and, I dunno, something seemed off about Zecora for a little bit. I couldn't put my hoof on it. She kept yawning and glared at me once in a while. I’d crammed a garlic bagel in my mouth while I was running out the door, so maybe it was my breath. Luckily, I keep an emergency reserve of peppermint swirls on my at all times, so I popped one just to be safe.

Okay, so here’s where I was really wishing you were there. Zecora tells me that these berries only grow in the Empire Wastes, which is where the Fashion Hounds live. I wasn’t sure what any of that meant, but when I think ‘fashion’, I think ‘Rarity’!

Zecora kept talking about those hounds, but she kept yawning, and you know how that goes. She would yawn, and then I would yawn. We were just yawning back and forth, and whenever she yawned, her words got all long and sleepy-sounding. Then I would yawn and I couldn’t hear her so well. But I figured, “What’s there to worry about?” I mean, she’s done this before. We’re all good.

So, we walked and walked and walked until my tummy got pretty rumbly. I had a whole bag of peppermint swirls for my breath, but Mrs. Cake keeps telling me that’s not a meal. And you know what the Wastes aren’t wasting? Food. Seriously, Rarity, there’s nothing there! Just glittery rocks as far as you could see! I was just about to ask Zecora if she had some clover with her when this voice says “Halter!”

Okay, you have to close your eyes and imagine it! This fruit basket walks right up to me from out of nowhere! I was so hungry that I dove right in, and I thought Zecora was, too! She leapt straight at us, but then she kind of tackled me when I was halfway through a banana.

She said, “Pinkie Pie, you must stop that! You have eaten half his hat!” I looked up and saw that this little dog in a spangly dress was wearing the fruit bowl on his head! Well, I started cracking up, but he started scowling, and then Zecora started scowling, and, well, it wasn’t all that funny anymore with no one else laughing along, so I just kinda turned it into a cough. Tough crowd! It’s no wonder these berries are blue! This hound guy looked like he hadn’t ever cracked a joke!

Okay, so I feel like you might be getting that impatient look you get sometimes when I tell you stories, but I’m just getting to the good part. After I said I was sorry (I tried to put the banana peel back in the hat, but he didn’t want it), Zecora convinced him to take us to the blueberry bushes. It was in a city called Outré, and Rarity, it was so amazing! The Fashion Hounds built it into a gorge, and they had these little chair lifts that zoomed around and took you to all the different levels! They were all lettered, I guess so nopony would get confused. We hopped on the A-Line and zoomed off.

And, oh my gosh, Rarity, it was fun! We were flying through the air super fast! The wind kinda stung my eyes, but I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. On the other hoof, Zecora maybe didn’t like it so much. She was squeezing my hoof so hard that it turned white. I wish it had stayed like that! We could have been hoof sisters!

All this time, the Fashion Hound is being really quiet. I thought maybe he was just shy so I kept asking him about the blueberries and the lifts and things, but he just stared ahead and muttered stuff under his breath. With all the wind, it was kinda hard to hear, so I just pretended it was funny and laughed. Sometimes, it just takes a grin to turn someone’s bad day around.

So, we got to the lower landing (I tried to jump back on the lift, but Zecora wouldn’t let me) and he led us around and around, in and out of these funny caverns with all of this shiny material in them. The hound said they were sa-tin mines. He said it had to be processed before it was ready for cloth, but there were these BIG carts full of the raw sa-tin thread all over the place. One dive later, and I’m apologizing again. Seriously, who puts out big piles of soft stuff and doesn’t expect a few ponies to jump into them?! Jeez!

Finally, we got to this little river they called the Instream and he said that would lead us to the berry bushes, and then he just ran off. I think it was my breath again. At that point, I was really regretting that garlic bagel, and I ate my last peppermint swirl. I’m going to have to remember that in the future. Nopony is at her best with garlic breath.

Anyway, we got to the bushes, and the berries looked so delicious! They were firm and plump and bursting with juice, but the bushes were all limp and wilty at the same time. They were the saddest bushes that I’d ever seen. Actually, they were so sad that I started to tear up a little, but I said “Pinkie, you’ve gotta act cute for the fruit!” So I hit those bushes with a little stand-up, and boy, was I knocking ‘em dead! I know a lot of good, fruit-based jokes, you know, but then Zecora covered my mouth and pointed at some nearby caves.

Rarity, guess what happened! All of these Fashion Hounds started coming out and they surrounded us! They said we were their prisoners and that it would do no good to pleat for mercy. We were their Slaves to Fashion! I thought that was really lamè! I told them that if they just wouldn’t permanently press us into service, I’d crack some jokes and have them all in stitches!

That didn’t exactly go over so well, and they all drew their stilettos. Well, when I say ‘drew’, I mean that they took them off of their feet and pointed them at us, but it just sounds more dramatic that way. I thought we were goners for sure!

But then Zecora whispered this great idea to me! We ripped up a couple of the bushes and charged the hounds! Zecora was shaking the bush back and forth clearing a path, while I reminded them how badly berries would stain their ‘dry-clean only’ dresses! Just when we thought we were in the clear, these alarms went off and hounds with blue chiffon dresses with gold stars pinned to them came charging out from all over the place! Zecora yelled something about the fashion police but I was too busy shaking my bush. There wasn’t anyone really near me, but shaking stuff is just really fun!

Zecora pulled me back onto the A-Line, and we zoomed back to the top of the gorge. The hounds were stuck behind us, and they sure were mad because those trams only have two carriages on the line. When one is coming, the other one is going, so they had to wait for us to be off before they could chase us.

When we got to the top, we hopped off and ran super fast out of the Empire Wastes! Luckily, those hounds aren’t very good runners. Those heels are kinda wobbly! By the time we got back to Zecora’s hut, she was so beat that she told me that we would have to make the punch another day. I guess I was a little disappointed, but I understood. She seemed like maybe she’d had a long day. So, we planted the berries behind her hut and she promised she’d give me a call when the berries were ready.

I couldn’t figure out this one thing, though. Before I left, I asked Zecora why the hounds were all grouchy when they had always been friendly before. She said she didn’t know, but that it might be because their source for the latest fashions and avant-garde styles had been shut off. So I was wondering… do dogs in dresses ever come to Carousel Boutique? I’m sure if you had been there, you could have whipped something up and they would have been dressed to the ca-nines in no time!

When you said the world of fashion was cutthroat, I didn’t know you really meant it!

Mostly, though, I just wanted to say that I can’t wait for you to come home! I’ve done so many amazing things this summer, but none of it is as fun as spending time with my girls. I hope your play’s been a blast, and watch out if any dogs in pumps show up. They mean business, and I don’t mean show business!

With laughter (and some sa-tin still tangled in my hair)

Pinkie Pie

July 7th

Dearest Pinkie Pie,

I'm not certain how to respond to... any of this. I shall take your word for it that the events occurred as you have written but every fiber of my being insists that if the fashion police exist they would have cracked down on Ponyville ages ago and imprisoned all of my dear friends! I am forced to conclude their jurisdiction ends at the Equestrian border, which leads me to wonder if perhaps diplomatic relations could be arranged, because this country could use such a force for good.

In any case, I am doing well, but I find myself missing you all very badly. Still, knowing you are well and relatively safe gives me ample reason to push on, and I look forward to the party that you are doubtless planning for us all.

Be safe, darling. And stay away from any unmarked potions.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity.

-P.S. Pinkie, I need you to pass this letter on to Zecora. Pinkie Pie swear to me you will not read the bit addressed to her! Have you finished the swear? Fine. Pass it along please.

-P.S.S. Zecora what in Equestria are you doing? I swear to Celestia if you have drugged my friend I will find you and... well it shall not be pretty! Please, keep her safe!

August 8, 2013

Rarity!!!!

Oh, I’ve missed you so much! I thought maybe you’d gone off to work on that play, but then they turned out to be gypsies that they’d taken you away to Romaneia, or maybe the moon, and then the moon gypsies said that you were secretly the last descendent of their long-lost queen and you’d fallen in love with a dark and mysterious stallion with a sword and a violin! I’ve been asking Cheerilee about moon gypsies for a couple of weeks now, but she doesn’t seem to know anything about them. Weird, huh? Well, you gotta tell me all about it! See if you can bring that violin back, too! I’ve never seen a real moon violin.

I gave your note to Zecora, but now she’s acting kinda funny. Every time I go to her hut to talk to her, she gives me this strange look and starts zooming around all over the place, locking all the cabinets. It looked like she needed some help, so I started putting locks on stuff, too. Buuuuuut, I guess one of us put locks on some of the wrong stuff, and it took us a little while to unlock it all, especially since I locked her leg to her cauldron handle. It’s not like I knew she’d lost the key to that one. We had to drag it all over Ponyville until we could find somepony who could get it off.

The things the girls learn! Did you know Sweetie Belle can pick a mean lock? Well, not a mean lock. I guess those locks were pretty nice, overall, but maybe a little quiet. It took some keys to really get them to open up.

But, Rarity, I’ve gotta tell you about Confection Perfections! It’s this crazy candy factory in Salt Lick City where they whip up all these new and interestingly yummarific treats! They invited me there to test out some of their new stuff, and after I signed a bunch of papers and promised that I didn’t know any lawyers, they took me on a tour. Rarity, it was so amazing! I was bouncing off the walls, which was really fun because they were all soft and padded. They said they have a lot of explosions there.

But, the best thing is that I got so into the whole trip that I started singing. You know, really belting it out. Usually when I do that, some big stallion drags me off by my tail and puts me outside, but, oh Rarity, it was different this time!

I was just getting to the chorus when I noticed that the workers had all stopped and they were all really getting in the groove! So, I really dug down and turned up the volume! As I hopped up on the conveyer belt, they all joined me and soon we were all singing and dancing and having a blast, and without anything actually exploding! Those ponies really know how to put the ‘fun’ in ‘funky’! See, I keep telling you girls that sweets and tarts put a song in your heart!

After all the singing and dancing, we got to the best part: Tasting! I know you always say you’re watching your figure, but even you would have been stuffing your face! It was irresistible! Watching your figure. What does that mean, anyway? Wouldn’t it be easier to watch if you ate lots and lots and lots of chocolate? There would be so much more of it to see!

Anyway, there were these new candies that made me totally think of you! They were called coif drops! You eat one, and then it styles your mane for you! You’d think they were totally fun, and they’d probably save you those three hours in the morning when no one is allowed to see you or play the trumpet too loud or touch those industrial curler heaters you keep in your bathroom.

Okay, I gotta go, but write me back about those gypsies. They’ve probably got all kinds of secrety secrets about crystal balls and stuff! Maybe they’ll want to trade some for these licorice whippets Confection Perfections sent me home with. I think they’re really cute, but they kind of bark a lot. Mr. Cake is getting pretty cranky about the whole thing.

With laughter (and three dozen candy dogs),

Pinkie Pie

P.S. Waitaminute! Your letter says July 7th, but I just got it! The moon really needs a better mail pony!

August 10th

Dearest Pinkie Pie,

Oh, Celestia. Pinkie you have no idea how good it is to hear you are well. The tales you tell are quite engaging but I am left uncertain if at least some of it is flights of fancy. So long as you are happy I can be glad for you.

I’m sorry to disappoint but the problems with the mail are far more mundane than you imagined. I have been here in Baltimare the whole time, but your supposition about the slow mailponies is more or less correct. There have been some changes in how the city does things, and as you can see things are going back and forth much quicker.

Please convey my apologies to Zecora, it seems I have blamed her unduly. Salt Lick City you say? You weren’t imbibing, were you? A little salt is fine but don’t overindulge. I found that out the hard way. They serve this nice iced drink called a Mareguertia, and the rim is coated with salt... I woke up several days later with little idea what had happened. I am told during that time I painted myself gold in honor of the local hoofball team (Go Ravens!) and proceeded to cheer wildly for them. The cast and crew seemed rather endeared to me after that.

Um... about that candy, if I send you bits can you get me a large supply of it? Or better still can you get me a catalog? Wait no... with my luck my mane would end up with the entirely wrong style.

Thank you so much for writing, darling. I really needed a boost right now. I can’t wait to see you and give you a giant hug for being such a wonderful ball of joy.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity.

August 18th

Dear Rarity,

You painted yourself gold?! Rarity, that sounds so pretty! I’ll bet your were all super-shiny, like that fountain in Canterlot that you guys wouldn’t let me swim around in! You should have climbed up on a table and held a big bowl with World’s Best Mountain Climber or something neat like that on it. And maybe spit water out of your mouth. Then ponies would stand in front of you and take these funny pictures where they pretended to be eating out of the bowl, or maybe they would take some super-romantic pictures of themselves kissing as your spit shot over them under the full moon!

How come you never want to paint yourself back in Ponyville, though? Sweetie Belle and I tried to get you to come do paintball with us, but you just wanted to look through all those boring ol’ fashion magazines again. Gold is pretty and all, but you could have been every color with all those paintball splats! When we were done, it looked like Rainbow sneezed on me really hard.

And, nah! I don’t really drink salt very much. If I’m drinking, I like to go straight for the hard stuff. Chocolate milk. Chocolate malts. Hot Chocolate. A-melty-chocolate-bar-that-I-accidentally-left-in-the-sun-too-long-and-now-I-have-to-lick-it from-the-wrapper. You know, the kind of stuff that really knocks you for a loop. Fancy Pants tried to give me a chocotini at that party we met him at, but I said “no way”! Who wants a teeny chocolate when you can have a whole bunch of it? Fancy parties are really weird that way, huh?

But what’s happening with your play, Rarity? You haven’t said anything about it! I’ll bet every pony in Baltimare loves your dresses by now! Oh, no! Wait, they don’t love them more than Ponyville ponies do, do they? Ohohoh, okay, I’m going to start loving your dresses extra hard, starting right now!

Okay, I’m back. I had to lay down for a little while because I started loving as hard as I could and my vision got kinda swishy and swirly and then I was on the floor somehow. I guess maybe I should remember to keep breathing when I’m loving stuff that hard. Now I’ve got a headache and the left side of my body is numb for some reason. I guess love really does hurt!

I’ll be here in Ponyville for a couple more days, but then I’m off to Fort Troterdale! When I was at the Radioherd show a few days ago, I heard somepony say that it’s a real party city.

Rarity, it’s a whole city that’s one big party!!! I just can’t wait to get there! I’ll probably make friends with everypony and we’ll all play the best games and drink the best punch and eat the best cakes ever! Oh, and I can’t believe there’s an all-the-time citywide party and I’ve never heard of it!

So, I’ll be here for a few days if you wanna write back. I could pass along some messages to ponies here in town. I’ve gotta go talk to everypony before I go, and let them know that they have to love your dresses really hard until you get back! Maybe Sweetie Belle will let me in the shop and I can give them all a big hug, and yes I’ll wash my hooves this time first! I still think that icing made the dresses smell really good, though.

With laughter (and spots in front of my eyes)

Pinkie Pie

August 21th

Dearest Pinkie Pie,

I’m told I did, I have little memory of the events beyond a horrible hangover. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to choose a water soluble paint. Still, it was a good time, I believe. I’m certain you’ve had a few occasions where you hear about your own actions the following morning with some surprise. Well, perhaps not surprise, interest?

Why don’t I play paintball? Welts, love. Those little spheroids pack a punch, and since you don’t like me putting up a shield I’d rather just avoid the whole business. I am rather skilled with a pillow, however. Just ask Applejack.

My professional life is doing well, thank you for asking. There was a little walkout of the cast, followed by a citywide strike, which ended up causing some teensy riots. It all sorted itself out in the end. The show is making lots of bits, and they are considering taking it on the road.

Darling, I think I’d like you to go see the nurse soon. I know you hate needles but can you be brave for me and go? I worry when I hear about you passing out and having these adventures in places I’ve never heard of. It’s not that I don’t believe you so much as I want you to be well and happy for a good long time, feeling numb on your left side is not normal.

And yes... love... love really does hurt a lot. I’m really beginning to wonder if it’s even worth pursuing. Colts are all idiots, and mares... have their own problems.

Have fun at your party city, darling. And be a dear and get yourself checked out. Soon, please. Don’t make me have to ask you to Pinkie promise.

With great concern for your well being,

Rarity

August 22st

Dear Rarity,

I tried to go to the doctor’s like you said, but Fort Troterdale is kind of a strange city. I’d been walking around, stopping at all the shiny stuff to look at my tongue. Windows. Fountains. The mirror shades everypony wears down here. I don’t know what those doctors are looking for when they do that tongue “AHHHHHHHH” thing, but I didn’t see anything weird. I guess the other ponies must have, though because they kept making these confused faces and trotting off real fast. I figured I really did need to see I doctor after that.

So I finally just grabbed some pony and asked her where the hospital was. She kind of rolled her eyes and said that a couple of blocks over, but that I should watch out because it was pretty cheesy. Well, I didn’t know what that meant, but I needed a doctor, and yummy cheese would be a bonus! You know, like those little cheeses you put on toothpick for your fashion parties? The ones that I stuck together to make that Hoity Toity sculpture? I still don’t get why he didn’t like it. I thought it was pretty good…

I finally got over there, and boy, Rarity, they have funny hospitals here. It was… well… not all that clean. Or even clean-ish! Or hospital-ish! It actually looked pretty much like this bar I went to the other night, and that’s gotta be against some health code or something.

They had nurses, though! But they, well, do you remember when Applejack found that magazine Big Mac had hidden in the hay with those mares all dressed in bedtime clothes? These nurses were kinda like that, with thigh-high socks and stuff. I thought they’d be taking temperatures or looking at charts or something, but they were passing out those little glasses of tackilla that everypony drinks here all the time. That stuff’s really hot, so I guess maybe it kills germs.

So the doorman (what hospital has a doorman and a cover charge?!) was all “Hey, welcome to the hottest party on Fort Troterdale. You goin’ in or what?” Well, that seemed perfect! I could see the doctor and go to a party all at the same time! So I handed over my five bits and went inside.

I think the ponies in Fort Troterdale are just really bad at decorations or something. They keep bringing me to these parties, but when I get there, they don’t have any balloons or cake or games or anything! They have music, though! Loud, loud, music that’s all WUBWUBWUBsreeekSRKREEEEEEK! WUBWUBWUBWUB! BOOOOOMWUB! I tried to ask if there was something wrong with their speakers, but the DJ was all “What?” and I was all “WHAT?” and he went ”WHAT?!” So I eventually just gave up and went to find the doctor. Or the party. Whichever.

After I wandered around all over the place, I finally just grabbed one of the nurses and asked her wear I could find the doctor. She just looked at me all funny and said “What?” Rarity, those ponies say “what” a lot down there. I think it’s all the loud music.

So I yelled "I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE DOCTOR IS!" real loud, and she just started cracking up! She said this place was just called The Hospital because they only serve shots. Who’d buy shots?! Twilight has to hold my hoof every time I go to get one. These ponies must be crazy to jab themselves on their own!

Well, I still had that party to find, so I started asking around, and they all said “WHAT?” to me a lot, but eventually I was all WHERE IS THE PARTY?” and they were all “WOO! PARTY!” and I said YEAH, THE PARTY! WHERE IS IT?!” then everyone was all chanting PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!”Rarity, I feel really bad for saying it, but those ponies are weird. And I never saw any of that cheese!

So I finally left because I couldn’t find where the party was (AGAIN!), and now I’m back on the train to Ponyville. Fort Troterdale is the worst party city ever! I don’t even think they have parties there! That’s got to be false advertising or slander or grand larceny or something! You shouldn’t be able to go around saying you have parties all over the place without any actual parties! I brought a whole suitcase full of balloons that I totally didn’t even get to use! Maybe I’ll just pass them out here on the train…

Oh, it looks like we're pulling into Ponyville, so I got go, but I wanted to say that maybe you know the wrong colts and mares. I mean, some of them are mean, or pushy, or grumpy, or whatever, but mostly I get along with everypony! I know a lot of smart colts and unproblemish mares. I’ll introduce you around!

With laughter (and a spotless tongue)

Pinkie Pie

August 31st

Dearest Pinkie Pie.

Only you could go looking for a hospital and find a party, darling. No no, don’t fret, that was clearly not the party you were looking for.

Thank you for trying, I’m sorry if I worried you, but you worry me so sometimes. I... I’ve never known anypony who can find happiness just following her around like a puppy. I don’t want something happening to you. I need to know there is happiness in the world.

I... think maybe you have the right idea. I’m still waiting on an answer from a dear friend, and I strongly suspect that answer is going to be no. If it is... I’m going to need a lot of cheering up. I thought perhaps you and I could go out sometime, dance until our feet hurt, and drink a lot of things with umbrellas in it. We can tell each other what fun we had the next morning. No idiot colts, no confusing mares, just two friends tearing the place up. How does that sound?

But I think first, I am going to need one of your patented hugs. Just... please remember ponies have bones, and you are very strong. If you feel something crack, ease off a little. Not too much please, I really need it.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

Sept. 6th

Dear Rarity,

You need some good times, and you need ‘em fast? Well you’ve come to the right pony! When you get back, we’re gonna paint the town red! Or at least paint my room red, because the paint in there is kinda flaking off all over the place in there because I was fixing my party cannon and accidentally shot my extra strength, high-velocity, funcussion confetti rounds all over the place! It was total blast, and now my cannon is ready to go, but the walls are, well… You know how much I like fresh air, right? My room’s got lots of it now. And birds. Lots of birds.

But after my room is fixed up, we’ll totally go somewhere to get down! I’ve been craving a dance floor with a groovy beat ever since I got back from Fort Troterdale. I like electronic music as much as the next pony, but the stuff they play down there sounds like the speakers have the flu.

But, um, the only thing around here with an umbrella in it is that little round stand Mr. Cake keeps by the door in case it rains. If you wanna drink out of it, go ahead, I guess. It’s all yours. I’m gonna have some chocolate milk out of a glass with one of those twisty straws that swoops and swirls and goes around all over the place! I tried drinking it out of that complicated science-y stuff that Twilight has, but she just got all huffy at me. Rarity, those glass tubes are all spirally and fun! And she said some of it is for cooling stuff off! How can she not drink out of it?!

But… you seem sorta sad, Rarity, and you weren’t sad when you left Ponyville. I guess that play wasn't as fun as you thought it would be. It sounds like maybe you didn’t meet the nicest ponies or something down there. But all of us in Ponyville can’t wait for you to come home! Seriously, there was this big group of mares following Sweetie Belle around yesterday asking if she could just sell them at least one hat from your backroom or something. That’s how much we miss you and love you here. Maybe there’ve been some not-so-nice stallions and mares in your life lately, but here in Ponyville, we can’t get enough! I like Rarity to be an everyday thing!

Plus, I need all of you girls back to finalize my secret project. Your Auntie Pinkie Pie’s red all the signs that you’re blue and she’s can’t white for you to get black! Oops, I mean wait for you to get back. I got a little carried away, there. Anyway, I’ll have that umbrella stand ready for you at the train station. I’m just going to pitch a tent there and wait.

With laughter (and a fully armed and operation party cannon),

Pinkie Pie

Sept 9th

Dearest Pinkie Pie

Oh my goodness, darling you really must be more careful firing that thing. Well, I am certainly fine helping you repair your dwelling. Perhaps while we are at it we can look at redecorating a bit. I know some shades that go lovely with pink. Just offhoof I'd suggest some royal purple or eggshell white.

When we go out, I’m going to order you a few things. They may taste a bit funny, but I promise you they won’t hurt you. Some of them come in fun shaped glasses with clever names like “Sex on the beach.” There is one in particular I think you’ll enjoy, it’s called a mudslide. It tastes a lot like the chocolate milk you are so fond of.

We’ll start you off with one, no more than that. I suspect you may be a bit of a lightweight. And yes, I just need to dance as well. I’m going to have fun, and not worry about love anymore. I have my career, I have my friends and family, and I have my dear Opalescence. I don’t need anything else.

As for me being sad... don’t concern yourself unduly, darling. I had a bit of a cock-up in my life, I corrected it, and I am moving on. I thought I knew somepony, and apparently I misjudged. Lesson learned, it’s not worth fretting over. I’m just going to get to know my other friends a bit better. And I am going to dance, and have fun. That is my plan.

Looking forward to seeing you again.

Sincerely yours,

Rarity

P.S. I wonder how you might feel about weekly spa treatments? I’m considering changing the day I go in and I find it more enjoyable to have a close friend to chat with.

September 15th

Will I go to the spa with you?! Rarity, I’d LOVE to go to the spa with you! Everypony tells me that they’ve got pools of mud in there that you can lay in and roll around in and stuff! I usually spend all of my bits on candy, so the only time I’ve ever been in there was when we had to soak out that poison joke stuff, but I’ll start saving up! Playing in the mud is the best!

Oh, I guess I was in there when I was hiding in all those sponges, but that doesn’t really count. I did feel really exfoliated, though! Is that what happened to us all when we got older? Did we get ex-foal-iated?

Oh, and speaking of mud, that mudslide thing sounds super yummy! I wish they’d had those in Fort Troterdale instead of those itty-bitty glasses of tackilla. That stuff was really hot and didn’t taste anything like chocolate. It tasted like burning. It’s funny, though. Frat Rush (he was this wobbly stallion I met down there. He wanted to walk me back to his hotel so I could get a room there, but he got too tired and fell asleep in some bushes) told me I was a lightweight, too! You guys are so nice! It’s all this trotting around Equestria that does it! It keeps me slim and trim. Oh, and the candy I eat gives me the energy to burn off all the candy!

You know, this summer’s had a lot of mud in it, and a lot of sliding, too! First, I slid down a mountain that some griffons lived on when I was trying to give them a popped soufflé. Then, I helped save some river otters from a mean ol’ land developer and we all went sliding in the mud. Even Princess Celestia slid a few times, but it’s funny. Mud doesn’t stick to her! It just slides right off! I guess she’s kind of a mudslide, too! Not me, though. I had to shake really hard to get mine off, and the guards didn’t like that so much.

And now you’re invited me to lay around in the mud and you want to give me a mudslide! It’s like a theme, and I love themes! They make great parties, which reminds me! I thought of this party on the way home. It was a theme themed party, where everypony dresses up as a theme and you have to guess what they are! It themes like such a blast, don'tcha think?!

Oh, and I’ve got things all planned out for when you get back! First, we’ll hit that spa and play in the mud and pretend we’re seaweed mummies when they wrap us up in all that kelpy stuff Fluttershy always tells me about! Then we’ll go lay in the sun by the lake, because we’ll be all relaxed and sleepy and stuff. Sometimes the other girls come by (except Applejack. She's always working...), so that would be super fun to be together again. Anyway, after that, we’ll go over that foofy place that makes those tiny sandwiches for a bite to eat (for reals! Those sammies are teeny-weeny!), and then it’s over to dance at Vinyl’s house! She turned her patio into a hardcore outdoor dance floor! I’ve been grooving away the nights since I’ve been back, but it’ll be more fun with you! Gummy’s great and all, but, well, he’s not exactly the best dance partner, ya know? He likes to do his own thing out there. Finally, we’ll head over to Sugarcube Corner for something sweet after boogieing away all those calories!

Oh, Rarity! I’m so excited! Nopony ever wants to go out and dance the night away! You’re always trying to finish a dress and Twilight’s always studying. Applejack’s too tired from work, and Rainbow’s too tired from awesoming or whatever it is that she does all day. I don’t even ask Fluttershy. She just wants to sit at home and drink tea, which is nice and all, but she makes this face whenever I bring my radio and turn the beats up real loud. It kinda kills the mood when she’s hiding under a pillow!

So, yeah, now you really have to hurry home, because I’m jumping around all over the place and ponies are starting to pull their foals away from me with those weird looks everypony always gives me. Plus, the train station has given me forty-eight hours to pack up this campsite and go somewhere else. They said I’m a “pedestrian hazard”, which I think are creatures that live inside pedestals, but I haven’t even seen any of them around. I’m starting to think they made that up.

With laughter (and s’mores from my campfire),

Pinkie Pie

September 16th

Dearest Pinkie Pie

What?! Darling... I don’t mean to alarm you, but you mustn’t ever allow a stallion to walk you home when you’ve been drinking. I swear to Celestia if some idiot had taken advantage I would even now be testing my theory that our status as national heroes would likely result in at least one pardon, no questions asked. And that’s to say nothing of being best friends with a princess. To think what might have... calm, Rarity. She’s all right. You are all right, aren’t you? Of course you are, you didn’t know his intent and from the sound of things I doubt he would have been stallion enough to rise to the occasion. Pinkie... you must be more careful! You are a very lucky mare but sometimes luck is not enough and I would be devastated if anything happened to you.

As for the spa, save your bits, love. That is to say, continue to use them as you wish. I won’t hear of you paying. Aloe and Lotus have a prearrangement for myself and anypony else I bring along. I had a particularly stressful week after the Gala and we decided on a flat fee per year, with a consideration for any guests I might bring. I only ask that you try not to splash the mud, but you may certainly roll if you wish. I find it most comforting to just let it support me, but I won’t dictate how you relax. Just be considerate of Aloe and Lotus, any mess you make they have to clean up. Thank you for being willing. I just... I need a friend right now, I need some stability in my life, but at the same time I need to make some changes. I’ve made a horrible mistake, I wronged a friend, and I was wronged in return. I have made my peace with what happened, but I can’t just... I need space, and I need the comfort of knowing I will have somepony to talk to while I settle things in my head.

Yes, I think you will like the drink I mentioned, it’s very creamy and smooth. When you drink it, it leaves a nice warm feeling down in your stomach. You and I... we’re ladies, my darling. Not for us the harshness of the single shot, they make wonderful drinks that taste pleasant and still serve the same purpose of giving you a nice tilt to your worldview.

Um... as for you being a lightweight... I didn’t mean... No, you know what? You are perfect, love. There is nothing wrong with a little roundness, truthfully you are rather voluptuous. Just keep up your activity levels, I’d hate to see you slowed down by something as silly as carrying extra weight.

Vinyl, you say? I don’t believe I have met... Ah, I remember now, the DJ. Nice girl, reasonable rates, excellent lighting system. Yes, I think that will be pleasant. She strikes me as the type of mare I might want to get to know for the future. I need to focus on my career now, knowing somepony who can help me prepare a fashion show would be very good. I look forward to it.

I should be home by the end of the week, just wrapping things up here, making sure my friends are in good hooves. Please, go home and get some rest, I will be on the train from Baltimare arriving on Sunday the 22nd, my ticket says I arrive at noon.

See you soon, love.

With deepest affections,

Rarity

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle

View Online

June 23rd

hotel room Princess of Magic
From the ~~desk~~ of Twilight Sparkle, ~~student of Princess Celestia~~
Ugh, I need new letterhead.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Our airship just landed in Stalliongrad and I miss you and the other girls already. Ponyville might not be the most exciting place in Equestria all the time, but there’s at least something to do most days. There is something entirely unfair about growing a pair of wings and then slowly floating across the sky in a stuffy room for two weeks. At least on a train there’s something to see out the window; here there’s nothing but clouds. And after playing ‘spot the altostratus among the altocumulus’ for three hours, my eye starts twitching. Look at me, I’m talking about clouds with Rainbow Dash. Sorry.

I really shouldn’t complain; I get to meet so many interesting ponies on this trip. I’ve never been to Stalliongrad before. My first impression of it is…gray. It’s gray here. The streets are gray, the buildings are gray, even most of the ponies are gray. I’ve been here for two hours and I’m already sick of gray.

I’m rambling at you. Cadence keeps telling me these tours around Equestria aren’t as bad as I fear, but I’ve always found this high society stuff to just be miserably boring. I know you probably think it’s funny that somepony like me would be complaining about boredom; I’ve seen your eyes glaze over three words into me talking about fruit bat morphology. I’d bet your eyes glazed over reading those three words just now.

Enough about me and my whining, how’s Las Pegasus? When I heard about your plans I’ll admit I got rather envious. Teaching ponies is such a noble pursuit compared to all this hoof-shaking I’m supposed to be doing. Spreading knowledge to the next generation of fillies and colts. I’m wistful just writing it.

I bet Las Pegasus is much more colorful than Stalliongrad. I swear, I’m going to start turning all the birds into oranges pretty soon, just to see something bright. They’d probably be gray oranges, just to spite me.

I’m going to stop complaining at you now. It’s not fair for me to transfer my boredom over to you through letters. Hope you’re having a more exciting time than I am.

-Twilight Sparkle

June 24th

Dear Twilight,

You have no idea what I would do to get some clouds out here. It’s the desert, so the lack of cloud coverage makes for brutally hot days and horribly cold nights. I’ve been here for like two days, and already I hate it.

Ugh, so where do I start? Well, first of all, you think grey is the worst thing ever? Try having rows and rows of houses of the ugliest shades of yellow, blue, pink and green imaginable. The suburbs are a total eyesore, and I wish I could avoid them, but unfortunately, both my job and the only affordable store are in that stupid area.

Which brings me to Box-Mart. I had never heard of this place before, but apparently, they’re a big deal out in the wider frontier. I can only assume because these stores are just ridiculously huge, which, ordinarily, would pretty cool, but the thing is, like all the houses in the suburbs, Box-Mart is just a mass-produced set of walls. The place just looks cold and uninviting, and speaking of cold...

I know I said before that the days here are stupidly hot, but I was freezing once I entered Box-Mart. Apparently, they’ve got this thing called an ‘Industrial Air Conditioner’, because I guess ponies around here would rather be frozen to death than be set on fire.
No, but I get what their angle is, because on display as I walk in are a bunch of winter coats on clearance. The ponies who run Box-Mart are evil geniuses, especially since I got one just to get my shopping done.

So yeah, I got some pretty good furniture, but that was the highlight of my day. I’m sure you’re doing amazing stuff every day. Don’t take what you have now for granted. I’d give anything to be doing what you’re doing: travelling around the world, meeting famous pony after famous pony, and always being on the move. I dunno about you, Twi, but really sounds like living.

I gotta tell you, Twi, I think I made a mistake coming here. The parents aren’t going to let me do anything with these kids, and honestly, I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this whole teaching thing. Like, I don’t have a lesson plan or anything, because I was expecting to start things physical right away. I wish you were here, and you could do all the egghead stuff with the kids while I do the fun parts: the parts that I guess you need a permission stuff for these days.

...I’m actually kinda scared about tomorrow. Promise you won’t tell anypony, okay? I trust you to keep it our secret.
It’s getting pretty late, and I gotta get up early, so I guess I’ll wrap this up. Promise me you’ll enjoy your touring. At least one of us will have fun.

Or, better yet, how’s about you and the princesses come over the Las Pegasus and we can have some real fun! The suburbs may suck, but the Strip still has all the gold, glitz and glamor they talk about in the movies. Please swing by when you get the chance.

Hoping for some good times,

Rainbow Dash

June 25th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I’m not really cut out for this ‘travelling around the world, meeting famous pony after famous pony, and always being on the move,’ stuff. It seems to me that famous ponies should be famous for…doing impressive things, I guess. And if we were going off of that, it would be a thrill a minute to be back in Ponyville, if for no other reason than watching the Rainbow Dash fly circles around everypony else.
You puffed out your chest just now, didn’t you? Oh, I could just see you doing it. You’re fun to tease halfway across the country!
But yeah, this travel hasn’t been exactly what I’d call fun. It’s had its moments; yesterday we toured an industrial complex of smelting facilities. After spending a day surrounded by literal tons of burning coal, being frozen in a Box-Mart sounds lovely, but it was quite fascinating learning about metal production on such a large scale. Well, it’s fascinating to this Egghead anyway.
Today was another day of formal meals, but thankfully I managed to convince everypony to take Fluttershy’s advice and go to the Stalliongrad Zoo. Fluttershy would probably have had a better time than I did, but at least I didn’t have to sit around eating cake for another three hours.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say this whole trip was a ploy to make me gain an extra ten pounds of cake weight.
I’d much rather be doing what you’re doing, though. So let’s try to both have fun for the other’s sake, how does that sound?
Speaking of what you’re doing…I know this is probably not going to get to you until after your first day on the job, but don’t count yourself out on it. You need to give yourself more credit than that. I know you’re a mare of action and planning isn’t something you tend to do on purpose, but you’re always so much smarter than you want to give yourself credit for. Just because you’re not an ‘Egghead’ like me, doesn’t mean you don’t have a great set of brains in that skull of yours. Try to find a way to make it fun, for you and for those foals. Just remember how much you managed to inspire Fluttershy when you needed her help to get the water reserves up to Cloudsdale. You’re a natural leader, Rainbow Dash, and I’m sure all of those colts and fillies will be looking up to you in no time.
I tried to peek at the trip itinerary, but Luna has been rather…secretive about it. I know Las Pegasus is a stop we’ll be making, since we’re going to tour the Hooveser Dam. I believe we’re stopping in Baltimare, too, so I’m sure to at least see you and Rarity while on this trip. I miss you all so much already.
Since I’m keeping your secret, maybe you can keep mine. Ever since I moved to Ponyville and got you girls in my life, I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been before. If I had to choose between our friendships and anything else in the world, being a princess, my studies, even my ability to do magic, I’d choose you five in a heartbeat. Take my wings, take my eyes, take my horn. You girls are the most important thing to me. Maybe that’s sentimental of me, but if being away from you all hurts this much now, I’m absolutely dreading how it’s going to feel in another month.
I’m getting mushy, and now I can picture you rolling your eyes. I hope Las Pegasus comes up on the itinerary sooner instead of later; I can’t wait to see you roll your eyes at me face to face again. Also, I’ve never been gambling and so much of it ismath. Fun with math!
Believe in yourself, Rainbow. I believe in you. You’re going to do great things!
-Twilight Sparkle

June 25th and/or 26th (It’s midnight in like 5 minutes, so I’m just gonna say both)
Dear Twilight,
So I got home late in the afternoon and found your letter. Things had already gotten better, but your message just made it totally awesome around here!
...I’m not really good at that whole mushy deal, so sorry if this letter isn’t so good.
Let me just say that everything you wrote to me in your letter was exactly what I needed to hear. I know a lot of times I come off as this cocky idiot who doesn’t care what other ponies think, but sometimes, it’s hard to keep up with my own image. Fluttershy and I used to get bullied a lot back in Cloudsdale, so I sort of of took on this role of being too cool to care as a kind of shield, and overtime, it just stuck. It became me.
Some days, though, I just need a reminder from somepony else that I am what I am for a reason; that I’ve got a reason to be proud of myself and what I do.
By the way, thanks for telling me that I had brains. Not too many ponies would say that to me (shocker, right?) and mean it, but I know you’d never lie to me like that, Twi. You’re too much of square. Ha.
But yeah, I’m a lot more confident after the second day. I showed the kids some of my moves and they’re already super stoked. I don’t know what I’m gonna be able to teach them in such a narrow time frame, but I’ll think of something. I’m Rainbow Dash, darnit! I’m a mare of action and ideas! If you say it, then it must be true.
Thank you, Twi. I don’t honestly know what any of us would do without you. You know exactly what to say to get somepony’s groove back.
So anyway, I’m also totally stoked to know that you’re swinging by here at some point. I can’t wait! I was actually talking to my boss Booster (trainer, boxer, totally toned) about all the math that goes into gambling because you mentioned it in your letter. He was talking about card counting and how it’s in books and stuff. Looks like you’ve got a little homework, huh, Egghead? *wink*
Oh, and I forgot to mention in my last letter, but on the Strip, Trixie’s running a live show there. The poster showed her with lions and tigers and bears (the kind that are on unicycles, mind you). Legit, right? We’re totally checking that out!
Anyway, that’s all the stuff from my end. Let me know if things for you get any better. Also, thanks again for cheering me up. It meant a whole lot.
Stay awesome,
Rainbow Dash
P.S.- This is a copy of the checklist I want you to keep track of in your letters to Applejack. This is all the stuff that she needs to do while she’s at the beach. I figured since you love checklists, keeping tabs on this should be a sinch.
AJ’s Perfect Summer Checklist
1. Wrestle the gators to prove your dominance [long story short, this is my greatest idea ever]
2. Learn to surf [obviously. She is at the beach, after all]
3. Go out into the ocean and scream ‘Shark!’ (it’ll be hysterical, trust me) [back me up on this, Twi]
4. Find a beautiful mare drowning in the ocean. Swim out, save her, get lucky (I mean, you are at the beach. It’s basically the law that you have to find a summer lovin’) [that filly needs to get laid. Amirite? Hot as she is, it's gotta be a crime that she's not getting any.]
P.P.S.- You’re right. I actually did puff out my chest when you wrote about how much you wanted to see me fly. You’ve come to know me so well, Twi.

June 26th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, attempting a new sending spell to mimic dragonfire.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I’m glad things are going well for you after the first day. I always love to know I’ve helped bring a smile to a friend’s face, and I meant everything I said in the last letter. I guess I knew a little bit about that stuff when you and Fluttershy were fillies, but if you ever want to talk about it more, just know that I’m here to listen; I’m all ears. Well, since these are letters, I’m all eyes, I guess? That sounds weird. Whatever, you know what I mean.
I hope when we get to Las Pegasus we can go see Trixie’s show! After that amulet incident, it’s nice to know she found something constructive to do with her talents. She’s certainly flashy enough to put on a show in Las Pegasus. You don’t think it’s a…saucy show do you? Oh, what am I saying? This is your fault, Rainbow. You asked me my opinion on Applejack’s physical needs and her rather shapely aesthetics and now my brain is going to weird places and my face feels warm and ohhh, darn you Rainbow! I’m flustered again!
Okay, I took a few deep breaths. I think I’m better now.
Anyway about that checklist. I’ll…mention it to Applejack. I’m sure she has her own ideas about what she’s doing this summer, but I’ll agree if nothing else, that pony needs to relax. I’m sure if she was given half the chance, she’d take a break from bucking trees to go buck some different trees.
Also, in case you didn’t know, it’s very hard to sit through a dry lecture on export schedules and not start giggling when the phrase ‘that filly needs to get laid’ in your voice is running through my head. So thanks for that.
-Twilight Sparkle
PS My spell didn’t work right and I’m resending this almost a week late. I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from anypony in a while. I’m out of Stalliongrad now and we’re on our way to Manehattan. Hope to hear from you soon, Rainbow. I’m still all eyes (Augh, I hate that phrase!) if you need me to be.
-Twilight Sparkle (July 1st)

July 2nd
Dear Twi,
‘I’m all eyes’ is actually pretty cool if you ask me. Give yourself a few Dash Points for that (oh yeah, there’re Dash Points).
Also, are you kidding? There’s nothing but saucy in Las Pegasus! All the mares are dressed in outfits that draw your attention to all the best places. Hehe.
Come on, I know you, you’d love it.
Okay, running down a list here... I did not say anything about AJ being shapely. That’s all you, meaning that you’ve been checking her out!
...Eh, we’re all guilty of that (ask Rarity sometime, she’ll probably get flustered like you do. It’s a telltale sign with mares).
I don’t really have a lot to say. I can tell you that work’s going pretty good nowadays. I’m on a semi-decent regimen with the kids, and I’m getting along great with my boss (he’s gonna start teaching me boxing on Friday, how cool is that?)
I guess all I have left to say is thanks for believing in me. I really don’t know what I’d do without you, Twi. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do without any of the girls, but you really lifted me out of a bad funk when I needed it. Thanks a lot.
And hey, if you ever need to complain about whatever boring stuff you’ve got going, you know the mare who’s gonna be ‘all eyes’ (I really, really like that phrase).
Keep up the awesome,
Rainbow Dash
P.S.- Aww yeah, not only do I make you fluster, I also make you laugh! I’m just gonna go ahead and give myself ten Dash Points.

July 3rd
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Of course you’d like the phrase all eyes. Fine, all eyes it is. Well, the last week or so in Stalliongrad wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Pinkie Pie gave me some advice on making parties more entertaining, and I tried her suggestions out with some subtlety and it made for more interesting dinner conversation. I don’t mind being the center of attention and I can put up with dry lectures and formal events, but I’m rather uncomfortable having the conversation be entirely around me. I’m going to take this princess-hood seriously and try to do good things for everypony, but being told at length about how I’m going to help just by existing isn’t fulfilling; it’s embarrassing.
And speaking of embarrassing, you’re doing this on purpose, making me turn red over and over again when I look back over your letter. Here I had a few days to get my bearings and the first thing you do is bring it up again and poke me with it. Shining’s looking at me funny, Rainbow!
If you must pry, I suppose it isn’t a secret that I find Applejack…that is to say she’s quite physically…I mean, from an academic, aesthetic stand-point…Well, no, that’s too clinical…Ugh, she’s attractive, okay? Is that what you want to hear? She’s a physically attractive mare in her prime and any filly would have to be blind or so solidly a zero on the Kinsey Scale it would reset the bell-curve!
…You’re laughing at me right now, aren’t you? It’s okay. Shining and Cadence are laughing, too. I wish I could embarrass you, by calling out who you found attractive, or by talking about how attractive you are, but you don’t get all flustered by this sort of stuff.
…Drat, I just called you attractive. You’re never going to let me live this down now. I should scrap this whole letter and start over, but I don’t think I could write…that…about Applejack again tonight. Or ever.
And I just now got a letter from Applejack. This day keeps on getting better and better; I think I accidentally mentioned this very conversation with her. I’m afraid to read it and find out…
Great. She picked up on it. If you’ll excuse me now, Rainbow, I’m going to try and find a rock to crawl under on this airship. That’s something they provide in first class, right? Embarrassment caves?
This is probably a good thing, you ruining my composure like this. I need to get over this silliness. We’re all adults; I can’t be blushing like a school filly whenever anyone brings up...this topic. If nothing else, getting used to it will mean my BBBFF will stop laughing at me.
Anyway, boxing huh? That should go well with your karate. With Applejack surfing and you boxing, kinda makes me want to try my hoof at something. With all this cake they’re stuffing down my face, I probably should. Any recommendations? Keep in mind, it would need to be something I could do while living like a nomad for the next few months.
I’ll be looking forward to your next letter, even if you tease me endlessly in it. Now…to write back to Applejack. Maybe I’ll lock myself in the bathroom and scream for a while first.
-Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow—
Could I perhaps trouble you to write a song? Only if it’s not too much to ask. It’s for science!
-Twilight Sparkle

July 4th
Dear Twilight,
Sorry if this gets to you a little late, I guess it takes longer to deliver packages.
Oh, Twi, you’ve got me read like a book (man, your eggheadedness is rubbing off on me). Do I make you randy, baby? Don’t fret now, there’s no shame in loving the Rainbow Dash. I don’t bite... hard.
Okay, but yeah, I like to keep you on the edge. It makes me laugh. AJ actually just wrote me a letter about it being all parental and stuff. You can be sure I was rolling my eyes pretty hard.
...But seriously, Twi, I’m just messing around. I wouldn’t actually want to make you uncomfortable. If you are, I’ll stop. I care about you too much to put you in a bad spot. You just tell me, and I’ll listen as best I can listen.
Now, as for some sports you can try out, I’d say it’s time you put those wings to work. After a few weeks of wingups and sprint flights, your body will be more rockin’ than AJ’s firm, sexy form (okay, you got me, I was forcing it that time. Old habits die hard, you see).
But yeah, do something with flight. If nothing else, just fly around more, you’ll feel better as a result. It really calms your nerves and changes your perspective when you’re high in the air above everything else in the world.
...Huh, where’d that come from?
***
So about that song, I’m not really the song-y type of pony (that was my Dad’s specialty), but here’s what I came up with...
These hoes love da Dash
‘Cause I be throwin’ fat stacks
I steppin’ on da gas
As I smokin’ on da grass
You da filly I can’t pass
So lemme tap dat ass
Yeah, I know. Awesome, right?
But really, it’s kind of interesting that you bring this up now. See, the other day I was browsing through one of the pawn shops in town (they have like a billion pawn shops around here), and I came across something I never thought I’d ever see.
So, my dad loved music. He would just spend all day jamming on his guitar and coming up with these songs. I guess I was a pretty good singer, because he then started having me sing along to a lot of them.
Eventually, we started recording these songs. Now, keep in mind, I had realized my true talent for flying, so I wasn’t really interested in sitting around a recording studio all day to do something wussy like singing, but my dad basically made me.
I never listened to the songs, and they didn’t sell at all. I never thought I’d run into them again, but here was one of them on a six inch record.
Since you were asking about music, I figured you’d get a kick out of it. This one isn’t as lame as I thought it would be.
Hopefully, you have a record player.
Man, I sound weird when I sing. But yeah, I know for a fact that we recorded at least an album’s worth of songs, so if I find it, I’ll let you know.
So... that should count as two songs from me, right? I win science, yes? Lemme know what my prize is.
Your homegirl,
Rainbow Dash

July 8th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
It’s okay, Rainbow. I know you’re just teasing. You like teasing everypony, and it’s hardly a new thing about you. I’ll just know to read your letters privately now, so I can be amused and embarrassed in peace and quiet. And really, if we’re pointing blame, I teased you first in these letters. I threw the first stone; I can take your excellently aimed return volleys like a mare.
Maybe I’m just feeling magnanimous because of this wonderful song. The record, I mean. Not that your other song wasn’t…charming or anything, but hearing your voice again made my day. It’s funny. I think I went five or six years without seeing my BBBFF at all. Sure I missed him and it’s been great to see him on this trip, and the few times since his wedding and now, but I’ve never missed him like this.
It’s been less than a month and I’m getting wistful over something you recorded as a filly, since it meant I could hear your voice. I’ve been snuggling these silly sock puppets Pinkie sent me, because they look like Smarty Pants and they’re from her. Rarity sent me this bag for make-up and I don’t want to put it down, because Rarity picked it out for me. I’ve just been listening to your song and reading this one from ~~Appl~~ two of the others over and over again and wishing I was home.
This friendship the six of us have found…it’s really something special.
I’m getting mushy at you. I don’t know if that makes you as uncomfortable as you always say it does, or if that’s just your ‘shield’ talking, but if it does consider in payback for the ‘randy’ comment.
Flying sounds wonderful. When I first got these wings, I wasn’t sure how much I’d really use them, since I teleport so often, but it’s such a different feeling to fly myself around under my own power. It’s so freeing. I think you’ve got it exactly right with that change of perspective notion. It’s too bad I’m stuffed up in an airship for most of the commute from place to place. I’ll try to sneak away for flights when I can, though. I think they’ll make me feel better emotionally, at least.
Applejack suggested I ask Shining to give me fighting lessons. He’s a little reluctant to teach his ‘Twily’ anything dangerous, but Cadence is on my side, so I should hopefully be getting trained by the captain of the guard soon. Who knows, maybe by the end of the summer I’ll be able to go hoof-to-hoof with you in a boxing ring!
I’m landing in Manehattan in the morning. Otherwise I’ve been going a little stir-crazy on this airship, listening to your record over and over again while playing with sock puppets.
I think I might be going crazy. Las Pegasus or Baltimare better show up on our itinerary, soon. Or maybe I really will run into Pinkie Pie in Manehattan. Although, if that happens it means I was both right and wrong about the likelihood of that and I probably will go crazy for a completely different reason.
Also, there’s no such thing as winning science. Thank you for both songs, though. Having a recorded version of music as a comparison tool will be useful when I run my experiments.
Take care, Rainbow. Hope to see you soon.
-Twilight Sparkle

July 10th
Dear Twi,
I would think you’d be the type to edit your letters. By that I mean, do you really think I wouldn’t notice that you crossed out AJ’s name?
Just so you know, I never laughed harder. I guess we’ll just refer to her as ‘Piece of Flank Who Shall Not Be Named’.
Kidding aside, you’re not the only pony I’ve been driving crazy with my sexy awesomeness. There’s this colt I teach (Beesting, great kid) who’s got it bad for me. Foalhood crushes, you know?
So yesterday, when all the foals leave for the day to go play and stuff, Beesting hangs back and waits around for me. I indulge him and give him some compliments on his progress (he’s doing great, they all are, which is a relief) and he just blushing so hard. I’m not kidding, I blinked for a second and I swear to Celestia, I thought I had found Big Macintosh’s bastard son.
Like I said. Foalhood crushes, they’re adorable like that.
Anyway, why do they have you in an airship anyway? I realize you guys are all royalty and such, but you guys are like the most powerful ponies in all of Equestria. Who could honestly take you on? I mean yeah, Celestia was owned pretty badling by queen Changeling thingy, but there’s four of you now.
I guess you guys would have trouble hauling around your brother and stuff, but personally, I think the image of him riding on Cadence’s back everywhere is pretty hilarious.
About boxing, you are so on! I had my first lesson with my boss on Friday, and it was intense. I got by because I was awesome, but it was pretty brutal. I think a fight between you and me would be a lot more entertaining (That is, if you’re into foxy boxing. We could also try wresting in pudding, although I don’t think Pinkie would like that. She’s said that’s degrading to the ponies who make pudding.)
I’ll make sure to keep looking for recordings of me and my dad since you liked them so much. He always said that they sold so poorly, that they were buried in a landfill, but somepony must have bought some copies, and those copies are out there.
You could probably check a music archive or something for records. I think Dad called us ‘Hey Ocean’ or something. He was a weird guy, but I miss him all the same.
Lemme know what you find, I actually found myself really liking what my Dad wrote. It wasn’t as lame as I remembered. Also, PLEASE let me know when you’re swinging by here, it’s gonna be SO awesome.
Stay cool,
Rainbow
P.S.- No winning at science? Please, there’s something to be won in everything.
Winning!

July 11th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I was getting ready to write back to you about your last letter, when something came up.
I have enclosed a letter Applejack sent to me by mistake that was supposed to go to you. As it’s your letter, you should have it. I am sorry that I read something that was supposed to be private, but Applejack sent it to me by mistake and I didn’t notice that it didn’t have my name on the actual letter until I was halfway through and terribly confused.
…I’ve been sort of talking to myself about this when I was writing back to Applejack, so some of my initial confusion has worn off and I’m going to start off somewhat direct, because there are some mysteries here I’d like to clear up.
One. ~~I would assume, based on all the letters that we’ve exchanged, that the reason you wouldn’t tell me that you were dating somepony when you~~ are under the impression assumed thought
~~if I were to have romantic interest in you, and you were dating somepony else, you would want to spare me any heartache from that knowledge.~~
That is the assumption I can make from our correspondence. From Applejack’s letter, the impression that I get is that she thinks…or knows…that you…well, you like me like that, at least a little, and
One. ~~Why do you think I have feelings for you? I’ve never thought about this, for anypony before, and it’s not that I am opposed to the idea, but what did I say that made it~~
One. What’s been going on between you and Applejack that she reacted like this? You’re normally so close. You’ve said she’s been ‘mothering’ you, is this just more of that or is there something
One. Did Applejack send the letter that was supposed to go to me to you by mistake?
I’m not angry or upset with you, by the way. It’s okay that you’re dating somepony. I’m happy for you, in fact. You’re such a strong and fun mare, you deserve somepony else in your life. I was maybe a little hurt at first that you thought I wouldn’t be happy for you, but I get that you were just trying to protect me. You try to protect everypony. I can’t be upset with you about that.
I want you to be happy, Rainbow Dash. Sometimes when we talk, I get the feeling that you’re not happy. That underneath your teasing, your confidence, and your strength, that there’s really somepony very sad and hurt. If there’s anything that Iwant, it’s for that to not be true. I love seeing you smile, bright and genuine, and I want to see that smile every time I look at you. You’re a great mare and you deserve that happiness. That’s what I want.
I…
Write back soon, Rainbow.
-Twilight Sparkle

July 11th
Dear Twilight,
Okay, there’s something I need to make straight right away. I’m not dating Booster. He and I are hanging out like friends do. Seriously, we spent Friday night breaking bottles in supermarket parking lot, does that strike you as romantic?
Look, just... don’t believe what Applejack wrote in that letter. She’s... I dunno.
But yeah, I didn’t exactly play my cards carefully. I didn’t want the girls to know I was hanging out like that because they tend to overreact in their own ways (Rarity would never shut up about me hanging out with a stallion).
With you... okay, Twi, I’m gonna be straight up, I thought you had kind of a crush on me.
It’s just, the way you were getting flustered and blushy in your letters, I just kinda figured it was like a silly little crush. I thought it was adorable.
Plus, you might wanna be sitting down for this one... I have kind of a huge ego.
I know, it’s shocking. I guess I was just having delusions of grand jury (or something like that), and I just kinda figured I could get anypony to fall head over hooves for me.
You’re too smart for that kind of stuff, Twi.
But still, I just wanna thank you, Twi. I’m kind of uncertain about a lot of things right now, but I know that I can count on you to be there for me when I need it. You mean so much to me, Twi. I know we talk about how we miss all the girls, and I do too (don’t get me wrong), but for you, I especially mean it.
You’re my best friend, Twi. You always will be.
Sorry to keep this letter kinda short, but I have places to be.
Write back soon (please),
Rainbow Dash

July 12th
Twi...
I'm really drunk right now, but I know you gotta see this shit. This is what AJ sent to me meant for you

Dear Twilight,
I ain’t a bit drunk. Not a little. I had about... a lot of drinks tonight, but I still feel fiiine. I set aside some time to write you and Dash tonight, and even if I went out with the farmhooves and had a real good time, I still got time to get some letters to my friends.
So, I read your song again just now, and I started crying. Twilight, I miss you so much. I think I miss you more than the other girls. I just wanna take care of you, sugarcube, and I want you to make things make sense for me, and I wanna hug you. Boy, do I wanna hug you a lot. And I wanna nuzzle you, too. Your mane feels nice when I nuzzle you, all smooth and it smells all clean like nice soap. And your whole body’s all soft and curvy, specially those hips...
I like you, Twilight. See, I wrote it and I ain’t even drunk. And now you can read it and know that I ain’t drunk and I really like you, not like some other ponies who don’t like you as much as they let on ‘cause they just can’t see you’re a smart, amazing pony who deserves everything a pony can give and they can’t even think of really giving that to a pony. So that’s what’s wrong with that.
But that ain’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you, Twilight. You’re so smart and foolish, and I reckon I love that cause I’m kinda smart and foolish too. Like here I am probably drunk off my tail, writing a letter to a princess and telling her all I think of her, like that’s something she don’t know. But I read your letter and I can’t help it. I’m smart enough to know the best pony in the world when I see her, but dumb enough to send this.
Please write back, Twilight. You can tell me you don’t feel the same. Of course, I’d kinda rather you did feel the same. But I reckon I’m smart enough to know this is a long shot, and if that’s how I’m thinking in this state, there’s no way I could say all this sober.
Your fr
Love,
AJ

I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have said. I was gonna hide this from you, but no. I've fucked up enough shit already in my life...
fuck, i gotta sleep...

July 13th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault.
I have done several things today that I thought I’d never be able to do in my life, without either dying of embarrassment or being banished or locked away, or locked away in the place I was banished, possibly while attending magic kindergarten on the moon.
First thing was I showed all our letters to Cadence. She’s had a bit of an outside view of things, mostly because I have a habit of dictating my letters out loud as I write them and I’m not always mindful of other ponies in the room.
I…I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t even know you were flirting with me, and I was flirting back. I thought you were teasing me and I was teasing back. I still don’t understand the distinction as I look at it.
I feel like a fool, and I feel like I’ve been leading you on. And the worst part of it is…
The worst part is I don’t know what I’m feeling. Before I got Applejack’s letter that was intended for you, I hadn’t thought about romance in my life at all. But if you couldn’t guess it about me already, as soon as I realized I hadn’t thought about something…
…Care to guess what I’ve been thinking about every minute since?
Celestia damn the world to tartarus, I have no idea what I’m feeling, Rainbow Dash. I just know that when I read your letters, or listen to your record, or think about your face, I just want to see you again. For real. I want to see everypony again, but it’s not quite the same.
Okay, so Manehattan has been similar and different compared to Stalliongrad, but I’ve had this weight on my mind through all the silly formality (we went on a yacht tour through a harbor where all the houses of some rich and famous ponies live, pointing out interesting architecture [yay!] and discussing which such-and-such sugar baron built the original mansion that burned to the ground a hundred years ago that the new one is modeled after, and which ones were owned by their foals, and I couldn’t hope to begin caring). And then…right before I got your second letter that had the note from Applejack, I took your advice and went flying.
And suddenly everything made sense. I don’t know what specifically made sense, but for the first time in weeks I felt at home again. And then I went back to my hotel room, played your record, and started crying.
And then I got Applejack’s letter. And I’ve been thinking about what she said to me the other day, too, about how what she asked was something she should have asked face to face. And then I read the song she wrote me and started crying again.
Because I want to see Applejack so bad right now, too. I want to see all six of you so badly I could scream, but for Applejack it’s different. Like how it’s different for you. But not the same different. Different different. And I don’t know what that means.
I’m still so confused, Rainbow. At first it was about what was going on around me, now it’s about myself. I don’t know what I want, and what’s worse, the two ponies I’d turn to for help in this are…well, they’re you and Applejack.
I know you’d probably think I’d talk to Rarity about this, but she’d be running around making me a dress for a date that hasn’t even been planned with…with I don’t know who, and why this would even result in a date with anypony is a ridiculous notion at this point, since I don’t know that that’s something I really want, or you want, or Applejack wants, or that any of us don’t want, and I’m just so confused, and Rarity wouldn’t help with that at all. She’d think it was ‘romantic,’ whatever the hell that means.
No, it’s you and Applejack I’d talk to, because we think the same about these sorts of things, I think. Even when we’re angry or overwhelmed, we’re practical and we think in down to earth and reasonable ways. Any advice you would give me, while full of teasing (or flirting, I don’t know), would be something simple and rational. And it would be the same with Applejack. I like simple and rational.
But I can’t ask for either of your advice on this, really. And we’re all so far away from each other.
Which leads me to the other thing I never thought I’d do that I did today.
I…sorta threatened Princess Luna.
She was taken aback by it, and I think I hurt her feelings and I’ll need to make amends, but I couldn’t be in the dark on this anymore. One of the things Applejack mentioned in her letter was that thanks to this summer, ‘we can’t sit down and talk it out.’
I threatened her so I could see the itinerary. I told her I needed to see it and if she didn’t share then I would take it from her by force. I feel scummy and awful for doing it, but I’m at the end of my rope here. I need to see you and Applejack again, as soon as I can, or I’m going to go crazy. There’s too much that needs to be said face to face.
Because…because Cadence says she doesn’t believe you when you say you just thought it was adorable. And she says she doesn’t believe me when I say I didn’t know it was just teasing. And she says she doesn’t believe me about not ever thinking about any of this before.
And…and I think about your face and your smile…and when I got Applejack’s drunken letter and read it, I imagined Applejack’s hooves around me in that hug she wanted to give me.
I think Cadence is right.
I’ve made a mess of things, most of all myself. I’m sorry, Rainbow. I’m sorry I couldn’t see what’s supposed to be right in front of me, and I’m sorry that all of this had to happen while we’re miles away from each other. I don’t know what I want, and I doubt either you or Applejack really know, either, based on everything Cadence has said to me about this, not only about me and you, and me and her, but you and her as well. All I know is that we need to talk about this face to face to face. Because letters aren’t cutting it.
I didn’t get to see the itinerary. Princess Celestia took one look at me and said I could take a few days off from the trip to sort out this mess with myself.
I’ll be in Las Pegasus on July 18th.
If I can organize it, Applejack might be with me.
See you soon.
-Twilight Sparkle

July 15th
Dear Twi,
C’mon, you know this isn’t your fault. Sometimes ponies miscommunicate. It happens.
The fact is, none of us have any idea what we’re feeling. Not you. Not AJ. Not me.
It’s the distance, Twi. It’s killing us. When you and AJ come over later this week, things’ll become a lot clearer.
...You’re probably wondering why I’m so chill about all this? Well, it’s because everything for me right now is completely and utterly awesome.
I should probably backtrack. So all this drama starts blowing up between the three of us, and I have no idea what to do with myself. Worse yet, I get this stupid letter from the Wonderbolts on Saturday.
Oh yeah, I got into the Wonderbolts, but I was so ‘I don’t know’ about everything, that it just seemed to be adding insult to injury. Worse yet, the day I was supposed to report to them is the same day you guys are coming over. I went to sleep not knowing what to do.
Then I had this dream... actually, it was a nightmare, and it scared the shit outta me, but at the same time, it gave me one of those... whaddya call them, sudden realizations... come on, egghead, work with me!
Eh, it doesn’t matter. The point is, I knew what I needed to do.
I set my letter on fire. Bye-bye Wonderbolts.
So, the reason I didn’t write to you right after is because all through Sunday, I was kind of in this sort-of numb-ish state where I wasn’t sure how I felt about my decision and what I was gonna do from that point on. Plus, I was still pretty nervous about you guys coming over.
But then, I went to work today, and everything got a lot better. I’ve been feeling real good about what I’m doing. I got one of my students to fly, Twi! I actually taught somepony how to do something! Something useful!
I just realized then that all this chasing after some lofty dream of fame was clouding my vision. I don’t want to feel awesome from records and fame and all this stuff, I wanna feel awesome from bonding with ponies I care about, from passing important things down to younger ponies.
The Wonderbolts would have just dragged me away from what’s important, you girls and everyone in Ponyville. I know now where I belong.
Is there any chance we could talk to Princess Celestia about starting a flight-school in Ponyville. It’s not just Scootaloo that needs help flying, you know. Like, my friend Thunderlane’s got a brother who’s about Scoots’s age.
Eh, we’ll talk about it later. I still have a couple of months left here, so I should probably focus on that, and hey, we could get to talking about it when you guys get here.
You guys are gonna have a blast! There’s so much stuff to do around here (like saucy magic shows, hehe). I’ll also make sure to take us out someplace nice, but not too nice, because I’m sure you’re sick of all that hoity-toity crap (no offense).
The point being, it’s gonna be awesome. Catch you on the flippety-flip.
Your friend,
Rainbow Dash
P.S.- Are there any words that mean the same thing as flustered? I ask because... no reason.

July 16th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I…
Well, at first I thought you had gone crazy. I…you burned an acceptance to the Wonderbolts? I’m still surprised. Really surprised. I was getting ready to tell you about rescheduling things; Applejack and I being in Las Pegasus shouldn’t be the reason for you to not join. I was so ready to argue with you about it.
But…
But I read the rest of your letter. Rainbow…
I don’t know how to say it, other than I think your idea is wonderful. It seems so…right for you. I don’t know what else to say. I’ve been yammering on about how noble teaching foals is, and here you make a plan to really do it, not just for the summer but as your life, your future.
I feel really silly for saying it, but I’m proud of you. Really proud of you. Sure, I’d be proud of you if you went into the Wonderbolts; that’s a prestigious career that isn’t easy and inspires younger ponies. Both would be fitting for you. But, this Ponyville flight school idea?
I really does just feel right. I can’t put my hoof on it exactly. I think you’ll be great at it. You have my support, Rainbow. One hundred percent.
I can’t wait to see you, Rainbow. We’ll talk about it more then. I’d talk to Princess Celestia about it right now, but I think I’d better keep things sort of calm and quiet until after this trip; everypony here is worried about me after what happened with Princess Luna. I just…
I get caught up in things sometimes and it messes up my judgment. I’m okay right now. I’m more okay than I’ve been in days after reading your letter. I’ll be okay after we have a chance to talk as a group, I hope. I really can’t wait. I miss you so much. I miss everypony, but…
Well, this is the mess, isn’t it? You’re exactly right, I think. Nopony knows what’s going on in their own heads and the distance has made it more than painful.
Applejack will be coming with me for sure, so we’ll both see you in a couple days. I can’t wait.
I’m so proud of you. Whatever Princess Celestia says, I’ll do everything in my power to get you a flight school in Ponyville. I promise. I Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. If this is what you want, I will do everything I can to help.
-Twilight Sparkle

July 28th
Dear Twi,
Whoa! I just realized that it’s been a week since I’ve talked to you guys. Geez, I’m really sorry about that. Work’s been something else, in a good way, but yeah, I’ve been pretty busy.
But get this! They’re all flying! Twenty-five foals are now flying thanks to me!
Like... I had no idea I could do it! Well, really, they did it themselves, but you know what I mean!
So, Thursday, I decide to show the parents what's up, and they love it! I think they’re gonna be comfortable enough to let me teach them my real moves. Let’s just say, Monday’s fixing to be a good day. I’m really amped about doing this stuff full time when I get back home (you’ve talked to Celestia right? BTW, how are things with you and Luna?)
So yeah, I’ve mostly been celebrating and hanging out with Booster this week. I’m starting to come along nicely in my boxing. I was actually able to land a few decent punches on him on Friday.
But for the most part, I’m settling into a routine. It’s weird, I’ve never been the type to actually enjoy something like that, but now that I’m grounded... it’s kinda nice, actually. That’s to say I don’t want a stupid, boring life like a lot of these suburbanites got, but... just kind of a slower pace is sort of refreshing. I’m not stressing myself out anymore with having the best moves to impress the Wonderbolts. I’m doing the stuff I used to do for me.
I feel kinda free.
So anyway, what’s going on with you? More importantly, when are you getting back to Las Pegasus? I can’t just hang out with Booster forever, Twi, come on, I might die of boredom!
Oh yeah, and I’m horny (but I don’t need to tell you that much *wink*). No, but really, what I wouldn’t give to have you hear right now just to hear you scream and squeak and—by the way, you should probably be reading this part in a room by yourself... I should have given you fair warning, shouldn’t I?
So yeah, things are getting pretty routine around here, but now I’m starting to realize I don’t have much time left here. Which suits me fine, considering I know where to go from here. My place is with you, AJ, and the girls. I wouldn’t have that any other way.
Write back soon (Come back soon),
Rainbow Dash.

August 3rd
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow,
I have been extremely busy since getting back on my tour, too. It’s been a crazy time for me, but it’s been the best time of the trip so far. That might just be because when somepony starts going on about local infrastructures, I can smile and nod while thinking about that thing you did with your tongue while bent over backwards.
Okay, not really, but I’ve been in a much better mood since our visit. Oh, and I learned several letters ago to read yours in private, anyway. One of the things I’ve been doing in the scraps of free time I have had is rereading everypony’s letters. I can’t believe how out of sorts I got over yours at the start (that’s another phrase for flustered, since you asked but I was too wound up to answer you. Wound up is another. Agitated, bewildered, befuddled, confounded, discombobulated, embarrassed, fazed, and thrown [possibly for a loop] would all work, too). I still get a little bit of a blush reading over them (or writing about your acrobatic tongue), but it’s such a fun feeling now.
I can’t wait to get back to Las Pegasus, too. I miss your tongue. And the rest of you, too, I suppose.
Gosh, it’s fun flirting on purpose.
Anyway, Princess Luna was very understanding when I got back. She did give me a look that sort of silently said she might have had a small peek into a dream or two, but I might have imagined that. She wasn’t upset by any account, and she mentioned something about a moose she once knew as why she understood. I’m going to have to get to the bottom of what that means some day.
Also, I did talk to Princess Celestia about establishing a flight school for pegasus foals in Ponyville. She’s been a bit aloof about it…not that that’s much of a surprise; sometimes talking to her is like reading a book of riddles. I get the sense that she’s dodging me about it right now, but I’m not going to drop it. It’s wonderful to know you got all of your students in the air. I can only imagine how proud of all of them you felt, but I can picture that smile on your face. You have a couple of different smiles, did you know that, Rainbow?
See, a lot of the time you have this cocky smirk thing you do (it dimples only one of your cheeks), but there’s this other one you have sometimes. It’s like you’re smiling without thinking about the fact that you’re smiling. It’s smaller on your face, but it’s so warm and bright. I bet that’s the smile you had when all those foals got up in the air around you.
Okay, I really can’t wait to be back in Las Pegasus and see you again, tongue entirely removed from the equation. I want to see that smile, instead of just imagining it.
I still don’t know when that will be, but we’ve been making a rough circle around Equestria so far, so I’d have to guess we’ll be back in two or three stops. I’ll be thinking of you until then. Your smile, and other things. *wink*
-Twilight Sparkle

August 4th
Dear Twilight,
I always promised myself I would never be a mushy pony. I’ve always hated when couples get all sappy and disgusting with each other in public (don’t mind when they get it on, but that’s just me). I felt it to be awkward, embarrassing, and most sinful of all, uncool.
...You are making me break that promise.
Twilight, you are just the cutest pony I’ve ever met in my life. I can’t help but get all warm and fuzzy inside when I think about that face of yours, or your voice saying out all this flirty stuff. I can’t help any of it. You are the cutest thing ever that I just wanna grab and make mine.
I knew this ever since I started making you fazed on purpose (thanks, btw), but now I need to say it when things aren’t getting hot and heavy. You are the most adorable pony in existence. I want to kiss that dorky face of yours over and over again. I l...like you a whole lot.
Moving on from mushiness, then...
Thanks for asking Celestia for me. I need to talk to her myself when you guys come over to Las Pegasus, just to show I’m serious.
Oh, I almost forgot! So there’s a Wonderbolts show in Las Pegasus in a few weeks (the 20th), and I have a ticket to see them that night. I still plan on going, but I’m just wondering: if you guys are in town that night, can we get like Royal box seats or something. I mean, if we’re ‘dating’ I guess, then we probably be doing stuff that’s like a date or whatever.
Plus, it’d be a great way to flaunt how good I’ve got it. Think about the headlines: Awesome Pegasus Tapping Princess of Magic.
AJ would be proud, hehe.
Anyway, let me know about all of that. Write back soon, okay?
Radically yours,
Rainbow Dash.
P.S.- Can you ask Luna what a moose looks like? Thanks.

August 11th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow,
Your letters always make me giggle and smile. Sometimes they make me blush, too, but it’s never without a giggle or a smile. As nice as that is, and having them to reread and feel like you’re here (because when I read your letters it always feels like you’re right next to me, cracking jokes, poking me in the ribs, that sort of thing. Sometimes without thinking about it I try to rest my head on your shoulder and almost fall out of chairs. Dorky is probably an accurate description of me, huh?), I’m looking forward to being home again and having you there, instead of just in my head.
Ugh. You make me all sappy and mushy, too. It’s that talented tongue of yours, I’m telling you.
Anyway, I have good news. I asked about the Wonderbolt show in Las Pegasus and Princess Luna let it slip that a VIP box was already reserved for our visit, so not only will we get to see the show together from there, but I also know that I’ll be there for the show at all. I’m so excited to see you again, even if it’s only been a few weeks.
And who’s to say I won’t be flaunting you, anyway? ‘Princess of Magic Spotted with the Only Pony to Perform a Sonic Rainboom’ has a nice ring to it.
I’ve stopped bringing up the school for now, since I know you’ll have a chance to talk to Princess Celestia in person. Not that I have had a large amount of time to talk to her anyway. Mostly I talk to Shining and Cadence, sometimes Princess Luna. Luna still keeps her night hours despite the lunches and meetings, so I see her when everypony else is asleep (I always was a night-owl, anyway). I’m not sure how much sleep she’s getting herself, to tell you the truth. Probably explains the way she described what moose look like to me.
See, I asked her and she said (and I quote; I couldn’t not memorize this word for word), “Rugged and furry, with legs that go on for miles, broad chests, and antlers to write home about.” After that I think she realized who she was talking to. I’ve never seen her that out of sorts before; I probably would have laughed if my jaw wasn’t on the floor.
Anyway, moose are generally very tall. Bulls start out a little bit shorter than Princess Celestia and some can be even taller. Cows are somewhere in between Luna and Celestia in height. They usually have brown fur with a similar length and texture to griffons, and bulls have very large antlers that fan out to the sides of their heads.
Luna also described them as ‘dreamy’ if that helps you picture them better. It certainly didn’t help me; it just made me even more curious to get that story out of her. If I have any ulterior plans for our stop in Las Pegasus, it’s for the two of us to get her drunk enough to spill it. Are you in?
Of course you’re in.
-Twilight Sparkle

August 17th
Dear Twi,
It hasn’t been too hot of a week for me, so I’m hoping this can lift my spirits a little by writing to you.
Okay, so I’m having my lunch and work Booster sits down next to me and wants to tell me something. What is it? He wants to ask out the Gun Show!
...I’ve mentioned Gun Show before, right? He’s a stallion friend of Booster’s who works at a parts shop with these guys named Pecs and Flex. They’re pretty cool dudes.
So yeah, a big shocker for me, Booster is into dudes; specifically, the Gun Show!
I don’t get it, am I this bad with my gaydar? First I’m wrong with Fluttershy (I’ll get to that later), now, my own boss.
That kinda sucks, though, he’s pretty hot. Although, this lends to my theory that all hot guys are gay.
Soarin? Gay
Big Macintosh? Gay (Don’t tell AJ I said that)
Shining Armor? ...Damn, poor Cadence.
XD See, I’m already feeling better? But I’m about to feel like shit in a second.
So Booster just vents to me about how he doesn’t have to courage to tell Gun Show how he feels. Wanting to help, I go into a talk about how you, AJ and I got together, and all the drama and stuff (I had already told this stuff to Rarity when she needed help, so it had to work here).
So out loud, in the cafeteria, I’m talking about how I have two marefriends, and who just so happens to be walking by to hear this?
Bee Sting. Yeah, the kid who’s been crushing on me the whole time I’ve been here.
He just /drops/ his tray in the cafeteria and flies off. I could hear his damn sobbing. Booster went after him, but I was so much of a freaking coward that I just went up and left.
I feel terrible, Twi. He’s such a cool kid, and I went and made him cry like that. I felt like the biggest loser.
That was Thursday, so I haven’t seen from anypony since then, but I have to see Bee Sting again on Monday. I can’t have the summer end like this, Twi. What do I do?
Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m just bumming you out with all this crap, but I really have no clue what I’m gonna do. Just when I think I’m done with stupid drama, this happens.
Speaking of stupid drama, did you know that Rarity and Fluttershy are together now?
Yeah! Apparently Rarity pulled an Applejack and mailed some drunken love letters to Fluttershy. Fluttershy doesn’t send a response, and Rarity writes to me, saying stuff about how she’s never coming back to Ponyville and whatnot. So I write a letter to her telling her about what happened to us and convinced her to skip all of that by just being upfront with Fluttershy.
And Fluttershy said she liked her too!
That’s gotta be good for something, right?
Well anyway, I guess I’ll see you in a few days. I’m gonna try and figure out how to deal with this crap with Bee Sting in the meantime.
See you soon,
Rainbow Dash
P.S.- A chance to get a Princess drunk? You are so on!

August 24th
From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Dear Rainbow,
I just left Las Pegasus, and I want to turn around, come back there, and tackle you to the ground.
I told you that I thought I loved you. Well, I know it now. I’d explain how I figured it out, but I can just see your eyes glazing over from me trying. Here’s a simplified explanation: the dorky egghead did some dorky egghead magic experiments, and they happened to show her how she already felt in a different way that was easier for her to understand.
I don’t know if you noticed it, but I did a lot of worrying over the last few days, which I tried to keep hidden because I was so happy to see you again and be around you, and you needed me to lean on. I was happy to be there for you, and see your smile, and know that you’d be okay. Even though I was worrying about what I felt, being there with you was wonderful. It would have been perfect if Applejack was there, too, which made me worry more.
I’m done worrying now.
Okay, probably not. I’m quite talented at worrying things to death, so I’ll probably keep doing it, but I’m done worrying about this.
Because I love you, Rainbow. I love how you can make me laugh, even when I’m so embarrassed I could faint, or upset because you’re upset. I love how I can loosen up around you and just have fun. I love how right it feels when I’m with you, and how I can see the drive and fire in you to do great things. I love how sweet you can be, and how when you are that sweet it seems to endlessly surprise you, like you don’t know where it came from. I love your talented tongue—by which I mean how fun it is to tease each other.
And for some strange reason, I love how much you love Applejack, too.
We are a trio of freaks, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
With Love,
-Twilight Sparkle

September 6th
Dear Twilight,
It’s been a pretty chill day. I got back from Las Pegasus yesterday (awesome, awesome send-off by Booster), and once I got back (after getting a pretty exhausting welcome-back thanks to Pinkie Pie), I passed out at Sweet Apple Acres.
I hope you don’t mind that I’m crashing at the library now. Although, I probably should’ve at least asked Spike before I made myself at home (he totally freaked out when he came back from shopping and saw me come out of your bathroom).
So yeah, I was wondering, how much longer are you guys on tour? I gotta say, now that my summer’s over, it’s a drag not having everypony home (especially you and AJ). Besides, now there’s stuff that needs to get done. I swear, all this stuff with Fluttershy and Rarity is getting too crazy. I don’t know if I’m gonna have to smack Rarity upside the head, Fluttershy, or both. Either way, there’s gonna be some head gettin’ smacked upside.
Plus, there’s this business with the school. I’m so pumped to get going on that. I thought about it when I ran into Scootaloo. She was glued to my leg when found her.
Turns out she was raising money to come see me in Las Pegasus (I think I remember AJ writing about that to me once). She only raised a few bits, so I decided to take them from her and buy her an ice cream. You should have seen her face, it was awesome.
But yeah, seeing her reminded me that I promised to teach her how to fly a few months ago. This school is gonna be the perfect opportunity to do that, and I can’t do it without you.
Then, there’s gonna be this adventure of trying to explain to everypony what our deal is (the three of us, I mean). Just so you know, AJ’s family is totally cool with it (although Apple Bloom’s not sure if she gets it, can’t say I blame her). But yeah, I can’t exactly do that without you or AJ.
I can’t do a lot of stuff without you guys anymore. I know I don’t want to tie you or AJ down or anything (believe me, Rainbow Dash is not the type to be held back, so she definitely doesn’t hold back), but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with you two, and I don’t plan on going back to anything that was before or might be after, unless it’s with you and Applejack.
So... yeah, come home soon, Twi. I’ll be at the library when you come back (I think I might do that crap where I’ve got rose petals that lead to the bed or something, *wink*).
Love you,
Rainbow Dash
P.S.- Is Spike allowed to have ice cream for dinner every night? He says he’s been doing that the whole time you’ve been gone. I haven’t said anything because I’m not his mom, but I’m just wondering if you’re cool with that.

October 27th
From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
(You can only imagine how wonderful it was to finally get new letterhead)
Dear Applejack and Rainbow,
This has been the craziest summer, hasn’t it?
I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to write very much recently. It’s not entirely my fault; it was a joint effort between me and Shining Armor to completely derail the tour across Equestria and nearly kill everypony.
…I should probably explain that.
See, after our visit, Applejack, things between me and my brother improved a lot. I’m not sure exactly what was said between the two of you in the grove, but not only has he been in better spirits, he’s also stopped treating me so much like a foal. It was nice…well, nice isn’t quite enough to cover it. I know you both know that Shining and I have been close most of our lives, but…
We really haven’t been that close. Not for a very long time. We were as close as a pair of siblings could be when I was really little. I still remember what it was like, being in awe of him, because not only was he older and bigger than me (funny how big of a deal that could be when you’re a kid), but because he was so many things that I wasn’t.
Shining was so outgoing and charismatic; as a filly I kept to myself not only because I didn’t get the point of having friends, but because I had trouble relating to other ponies. I was so far in my own head that making those connections was beyond me, and he was so good at it, and at sports, and just as involved in his studies as I was.
Okay, not as involved in studying as me, but I could hold better conversations about magic with him than some of my teachers, back before I got accepted to Celestia’s school.
But then I did go to school, which brought me to living in the castle instead of with my parents. I saw Shining, and both my parents for that matter, off and on for all those years, but that relationship we had had as foals had become a memory instead of reality. For the few days I saw him, that didn’t matter, and we could pretend everything was the same as it was because there was no reason to look deeper and see that our relationship was built on a house of cards. Even when his wedding made me see that, I didn’t want to believe it. I’m glad things turned out the way they did, but at the same time we willingly put ourselves back in the dark, pretending that we were always this same team of BBBFF and little Twiley.
If I ignore everything amazing, wonderful, tedious, educational, and frightening, magical, boring, and eye-opening that happened this summer, it would still have been worth it to start that over, get to know who Shining Armor really is, and build something new with him.
Unfortunately, that meant that he stopped holding back for our sparring sessions. On the one hoof, I could keep up with him and learned a move or two (though I imagine without magic the two of you could still best me with no trouble; we’ll have to test this theory somewhere secluded). On the other hoof, we almost blew up the airship.
…And by ‘almost,’ I mean we blew up the airship.
I didn’t mean to, okay? I wasn’t trying to put everypony’s lives in danger when I cast that lance spell, and I know Shining didn’t know that it would go through three engines when he blocked it! It was an accident! ~~And as many times as I’ve told Celestia that, I just know she’s gonna send me back to magic kindergarten any day now, and it’s hard to remember to breathe sometimes, and it was an accident, but~~
Sorry, started to panic there a little. I calmed down and had a slice of cake. It’s funny, I got so sick of cake there for a while, but now it’s relaxing. Maybe I ate so much of it that I got sick of being sick of it and grew fond of it again. I wonder if that happened to Pinkie ever? Anyway, that’s mostly what I’ve been doing: making myself panic and then eating cake. I’ll probably have to make myself useful around the farm before I make this triad look more like a quadrad.
Oh, that reminds me. Cadence gave me this book about relationships that I never had time to really read with any sort of critical eye until after I blew up the airship, and I finally found why she gave it to me.
What we have is called a triad. The simplest definition for that is a romantic relationship involving three ponies.
My book had a lot to say about it, a lot of which didn’t apply (for instance, most triads start out with a primary couple dating a third pony, with that relationship sometimes limited to sexual), or had some negative things to say. Triads are difficult to manage; most ponies who try them have issues with jealousy, if not over their partners having feelings for each other, than over how time gets split up. One on one relationships can be difficult on their own, without a third pony involved, and they have a history of being short lived and frustrating. I confess I saw the point; we three aren’t idle ponies who have all the time in Equestria to focus on each other, and we’re going to be hard pressed to always be available to be there for one another.
It was liberating to find how little I cared about that, though.
It was nice to know that what we have has a name, and that others have tried and succeeded before us to make it work, but that doesn’t matter to me, either.
I’ve spent the past two months dealing with an exploded airship and several dozen annoyed dignitaries who had to make arrangements to meet with us in Canterlot instead of their home cities, annoyed princesses who don’t enjoy having airships explode around them (also Luna was disappointed we didn’t make it to Baltimare. I was, too; I’ll have to make it up to Rarity later), working more on this song-magic project, eating far too much cake, and panicking.
And I’m finally coming home.
I’ve been dreaming about seeing the both of you again, every night and half of each day. I’ve missed my home, I’ve missed my friends, and I’ve missed the two ponies who have captured my heart. I’m excited for the challenge of making this work with the both of you. It’s going to be hard, and whatever the future holds now is going to take conviction and strength.
But I’m so ready for that, because you’re both worth it. Wherever life takes us, wherever we go, no matter how this ends, whether that’s months, or years, or decades in the future, through hard times and good times, I’m ready to take that journey with both of you.
I really can’t wait. I’ll see you both in a few days.
With love,
-Twilight Sparkle

Applejack and Twilight Sparkle

View Online

June 23rd

Dear Twilight,

How’s the princess job going? Meet any exciting ponies yet?

Me, I’m getting a taste of being in charge myself. I know how to run a farm, I been doing it since I was just barely grown up, but I never had to manage a crew of ponies all the time. It’s gonna be like Winter Wrap-Up every day.

Let me back up a bit here. So, I’m managing Sunny Grove Farm for Aunt and Uncle Orange. They got this great big orange farm, but neither of them knows a lick about actually farming it, and their manager up and quit on them. After a bit of shuffling between the Apple family, the Seed folks, and the Oranges, I ended up here for the summer, running the place.

But like I said, I got help. There’s ten farmhooves here; some of them are old hooves at this, some bright young ponies, and some... not so bright young ponies.

Pulp is my right hoof stallion. He’s about the same age as my uncle, and to be honest he could be running the place. He says he don’t want the headache, though. I can’t say I blame him.

Then we got OJ. OJ is my uncle’s nephew, I’m supposed to be training him to take over when I go home. Twilight, I’m pretty sure this is that headache that Pulp don’t want. This colt might be my age, but he’s got a ways to go before he earns being called a stallion.

Today Pulp was taking me around the farm, showing me where everything was, and we were just coming up from meeting old Toothy. (Old Toothy is the gator who lives in the lake. I’m waiting to hear from Fluttershy about that little detail.) We got close to the house, where my aunt and uncle’s swimming pool is for when they visit, and there was OJ just laying there.

Pulp tells me this was the pony I’d be training as manager, so I hold out my hoof, and he just raises his eyebrow at it.

I raised both of mine back at him, and asked him why he wasn’t out working with the rest of the farmhooves, and you know what he said to me?

“It’s too nice out.”

I ask you, Twilight, when does that pony think you’re supposed to be farming? I mean, I understand taking a break to have some lunch and enjoy the day, but if that boy thinks I’m letting him take this farm when he’s just gonna sit on his tail all day, he’s got another thing coming.

I told him tomorrow we’re gonna use the nice weather for growing some oranges, since that’s our job. He just sighed and turned back to sunning himself.

I’m boss of this place for now, so tomorrow he’s gonna find out how a pony farms, if I have to light his tail on fire to do it. I don’t want to be mean, but I can’t see how a pony with a job can just... not be doing it. I got a bad feeling about this.

Anyhow, I’m gonna sign off for now. I miss y’all, and I hope things are going nice and smooth on your trip.

Your friend,

Applejack

June 24th

I guess this actually is a desk Princess of Magic
From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia
First thing tomorrow I’m getting blank paper without any letterhead.

Dear Applejack,

It’s great to hear from you. Even with Cadence, Shining, and the princesses here it’s really lonely. Everypony’s in ‘public appearance’ mode all the time, so I don’t really have anypony to talk to. All I’ve been doing is sending frustrated letters. That and developing an eye twich. Have I ever had an eye twitch, Applejack?

Anyway, OJ sounds like a headache, but give him a chance. My first impression of Rainbow Dash wasn’t much better. Granted, when I challenged her she cleared the sky in exactly ten seconds. Then again, this is Rainbow Dash we’re talking about.

Still, knowing you and how hard a worker you are, I’m sure you’ll be able to get through to him. Everything can be a learning experience and you’re just the mare for the job; I have faith in you.

So far, this ‘princess job’ has been as stuffy as I was afraid it was going to be. I got used to formal dinners in Canterlot, but I’ve never been comfortable being the subject of conversation. The intricacies of high society are lost on me, too. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it, but right now I feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.

We toured an industrial complex today, which actually was rather fascinating. I’ve read about metallurgy at length before, but actually seeing the refining process really hammered home how hot they need things to be to burn away impurities on a large scale. The nature of it is interesting, too, seeing as Stalliongrad was founded by earth ponies, so it’s all done without magic. I’ve purified some metal using magic before, but I couldn’t imagine trying to do something on the scale it’s done here, even with a team of ponies. It’s almost as mind-boggling as contemplating how the sun and moon were raised by groups of unicorns before Celestia and Luna were around. The amount of magic necessary to do something like all of smelting that’s done here would be astronomical, and they work all hours of the day and night here.

I told Luna that if nothing else, she always had the night shift workers of Stalliongrad to appreciate her beautiful nights. Celestia nearly choked on her tea, but Luna laughed.

How does farming oranges compare to apples? I know turning frogs into oranges is much more difficult than turning them into apples, but I don’t believe that example translates perfectly to farming. I imagine it’s a challenge to not only take on the responsibility of running the whole farm, but also to learn all the discrepancies.

Also knowing you, don’t work yourself to death! Just like how nice weather isn’t an excuse to not work, having a job to do isn’t an excuse to not cut back and relax a little! With all those beaches and pools around, you should be curled up with a good book and sipping something sweet in the shade.

And no, I’m not trying to live vicariously through you. I just know how tired you get.

Take care. Have a piña colada for me!

-Twilight Sparkle

June 26th

Dear Twilight,

Well now, sugarcube, I reckon that from time to time you might have something that a pony could think of as an eye twitch. Just remember them deep breaths Cadance taught you about, and run any big spells you wanna cast by the princesses first, okay?

As much as I wish I could be there to help calm you down, I guess I ain’t the best pony for helping with intricacies and whatnot. Maybe Rarity can give you some pointers. But I can listen, if you need to blow off some steam. Taking a minute and writing to a pony might help some with that twitchy eye you get.

I’m real glad to hear about the smelting, though. Not so much because I get it, but because you get it and you like learning about it. Whenever I think you might be having a bad time, I remember this is Twilight Sparkle I’m thinking of. If you were shipwrecked on a desert island, long as you had some quills and paper you’d get to studying the sand and be happy as a coconut. What I’m saying is, you’re gonna learn lots of new things, so don’t let the rest of it get you down.

As for my and my troubles with OJ... well, they ain’t quite gone yet. I heard from Pinkie the other day (do you know why she’s in Detrot?) and got to thinking, maybe this is one of them things where friendship oughta make a difference. We’re kinda experts on that, right? I thought maybe he’d like working better if he was doing it with a friend, so I tried being real friendly.

No matter how cheerful I am working, it just seems to make him mad at me. But I been trying to keep my temper. So then yesterday, we had some storms in the afternoon, so I decided I’d try to be friendly when we weren’t working. I went to his room, to ask if he wanted to play a game of checkers or whatnot. When he came to the door, he was real ticked off, and the cause of that was this game he’s got in there. One of them arcade games, you know the ones, and it seems I’d made him pause it in the middle of some real important beeps or flashy lights or something.

So, he rolled his eyes at me when I suggested playing checkers. He’d rather play ActionFighter, which is what it’s called. I can’t see why a pony would rather play a game with a machine than another pony... Twilight, you think maybe he just don’t like me?

I wish I was back on Sweet Apple Acres with you girls around.

But, I ain’t gonna worry about that right now. Tomorrow’s my day off, and I’m gonna go try learning to surf. Rainbow Dash suggested that. She also suggested learning to wrestle gators, and yelling “shark” on the beach. You did check to make sure all that crashing didn’t mess up her brain, right?

Well, even if it did, I’d still love to have her here right now. Or you, or anypony I love.

As to oranges, they’re a lot like apples when it comes to farming. They like it a lot hotter and wetter, and the trees are skinnier and harder to aim for when you’re bucking. I know if you were here you’d tell me a million ways it’s different, but to me it’s just more trees to take care of, and I know trees.

Write me more about that stuff you’re learning. I might not remember it all, but I know you’ll have fun telling me.

Your friend,

June 27th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, attempting a new sending spell to mimic dragonfire.

Dear Applejack,

Rainbow sent me her ‘checklist’ for safekeeping. I’m…well, I think the less said about the ‘shark’ idea, the better. I’m not sure exactly what she meant about alligator wrestling, either, but as I thought about it, I couldn’t help but picturing you hogtying one with a lasso. So, if the farming ever doesn’t work out, there’s a viable second career option for you.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding.

Don’t give up hope on OJ just yet; some ponies take a while to warm up to new friends, especially if they’re as lonely sounding as him. What little you’ve said reminded me of…well, me, back before I moved to Ponyville. Change ‘rather play a game with a machine than another pony’ to ‘rather read a book than talk to another pony,’ and that was me exactly. And I’ll tell you, being like that was one of those things where I didn’t know what I was missing until after I had found you girls. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own little world you miss out on who’s around you, and next thing you know, the idea of having friends sounds like something that doesn’t fit into a daily schedule.

Nopony sane would dislike you, though, Applejack. He hasn’t given you a chance yet.

If you want to hear me ramble on about new things I’ve learned, I will, although at the moment it’s all discussions about import and export taxes, new percentage rates, trending stock values, and planned production figures. Which…okay, it is interesting to me, but only if I have paper and pencil at hoof to run through the math myself. Having it recited at length by somepony who’s just as bored as me isn’t exciting.

I hope there’s a stop off in the itinerary in Palomino Beach, or at least close-by. Knowing a natural athlete like you, you’ll be surfing like a professional in no time at all and I’d love to see you in action! By which I mean surfing, not anything else Rainbow mentioned in her checklist. Not that she mentioned anything else in her checklist. Erm. Excuse me for a moment. I know this is a letter and I could just stop writing, [span]but I kind of feel like I’m talking to you and I don’t want to break immersion, and oh I’m rambling again and[/span]

By the way, those breathing exercises are very helpful, thank you for reminding me of them.

-Twilight Sparkle

PS My spell backfired. I have some ideas why, which I might go into details about in another letter, since you offered to listen about such things, but right now I’m resending all the letters that got returned. Hope to hear from you soon.

July 3rd.

Dear Twilight,

I sure would like to have you visit here, if you get a chance. You’re even welcome to stay at the farm with me. I know Aunt and Uncle Orange would be right honored, and this place seems fancy enough for a Princess. At least, it does by my thinking, for what that’s worth.

I’ll keep in mind what you say about OJ. I guess you’re right, you weren’t quite the most sociable pony I ever met when you first came to town. But a little pushing worked out there, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and not a day goes by that I don’t get happy thinking of you.

To that end, I had a bit of an idea. I’ve been trying to find out how OJ got the orange he has for a cutie mark. I figure that way, I can find out what it is he loves about them, and maybe use that to help him love his job here. I mean, a pony can’t have a cutie mark in something they hate, so there’s gotta be a way to get through to him there.

I tried to bring the conversation round to that yesterday, while we were checking the grove for pests (well, while I was checking the grove for pests and he was kinda leaning against the trees.) Turns out he grew up by Manehattan, so I reckon farming wasn’t really a part of it, but I ain’t discouraged. There’s lots that goes into running a farm-- knowing about the plants, the weather, what kind of foods the produce makes so you know who to sell it too, making foods and drinks to sell, knowing how to handle bits... there’s gotta be some part of that he’d like, then the rest of it would be important to make all that work. Me, I gotta say I like being outside and working, but when it comes to keeping the books it makes my eyes go crossed. Especially round tax season-- I reckon figuring out twenty percent of our gross after deductions ain’t really my special talent, but it’s part of running a farm.

Of course, I’d rather do the taxes than hear a pony talk about it. Can’t say I envy you there. But I guess it’s the same thing thee, right? It’s your destiny to be a princess, and that ain’t gonna be all libraries and friends, but sitting and listening to other ponies that about imports and exports is stuff you do so the libraries got plenty of books for you.

I’m going surfing again tomorrow, so I’ll have plenty of action to show you if you come and visit. Not the kind that makes you ramble, of course. Unless I meet a nice, friendly, sweet pony around here that particular item ain’t getting checked off Dash’s list. I’m a down-home girl, I’m looking for a special pony, not some fling. Of course, if I found a pony like that I can’t say I’d mind checking that off that list, but it ain’t likely to happen miles away from everypony I love.

Speaking of special ponies (a bit too special for considering that way, but special all the same) do you know that Pinkie wrote me a song to sing? I went and sang it in the orchard, and wouldn’t you know it, that gator came right on outta the lake and made friends with me. Pinkie is one of a kind, that’s what, I don’t know what I’d do without her, and all you girls.

Write back soon, and let me know if you’re gonna be in these parts. I’ll look forward to seeing a friendly face.

Your friend,

July 3rd

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

You’ll have to forgive me, but I just had a rather…interesting experience writing a letter to Rainbow, so I’m a little out of sorts. I think I’m back to normal, but I might wander off-topic here and there.

Pinkie Pie has been a life-saver for both of us apparently. She didn’t send me a song with any sort of magical reptile-befriending properties (which I will have to do extensive research on, mind forwarding me a copy of the lyrics? It would give me something to do during all this sitting), but she did send me two sock-puppets that made me feel like I was back home in Ponyville, and some advice for livening up parties. Knowing her, she intended a lot less subtlety than I used, but the hearts of the ideas were ones I could use to steer conversations.

Really, it’s completely obvious in retrospect. I just needed to take the lead and steer conversations to something relaxed and comfortable. I still have all these decorum rules to follow, but it’s amazing how much easier understanding those sorts of subjects is for me when I have a structure to apply them to. The whole thing became a jigsaw puzzle of words and manners. I bet Rarity would get a kick out of that idea.

As I think about it, singing seems to have a lot of unexplored magical properties. I know it was laughter that dispelled Nightmare Moon’s illusions in the Everfree Forest, but it can’t be a coincidence that Pinkie got us all there through a song. And that pony sings all the time, and if I didn’t know better I’d think she was a unicorn some days. I wonder if Pinkie Sense is connected? Or maybe it’s just Pinkie who renders the music magical?

It’s settled. I’ll have to write a song before you send me Pinkie’s lyrics, so I can compare any latent magic present in either set. I’ll have to conduct experiments on both the songs in written form as well as when performed.

Oh, but I’m an alicorn and my song might be magical for that reason. Drat, practically everypony here is either an alicorn or a unicorn, too. I need a pegasus or an earth pony to write songs as well.

Erm. Applejack, if it wasn’t too much trouble, could I request you write a song as well? It really would be the best comparison, to gauge if it’s something inherent in Pinkie Pie or in music itself. If it’s too much to ask, I understand, you have a farm to run. But it would help me out with this experiment immensely.

Now I just have to track down a place in this airship to conduct this experiment without being disturbed. And maybe a pegasus who is willing to write a song as well. I might be able to get Shining to write something, that way I can have songs from all four pony tribes, but I might be able to convince Rarity if he won’t.

Oh, I can taste the science on the air!

…Wow, I really did get off-topic. Anyway, good luck with OJ. Hearing the story behind his special talent sounds like a solid plan, if not for discovering what it is about oranges that he’s connected to, then at least for building a better understanding of him. And I asked Rainbow this already, but with this surfing and boxing going on, I thought I might try to take up something physical over the summer. Any ideas for something I could do on this trip?

Can’t wait to hear from you (send lyrics!)

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight,

Okay, sugarcube. You know you’re the only pony in Equestria who could ask me for a song, and I’d set down and write them a song. It ain’t a good song, I’m no Pinkie Pie, but I sawed out a tune on my fiddle, and I wrote down some words. I admit, I don’t know how to write down the tune, I never really studied music stuff, you see. I just learned the fiddle from my ma. So I’ll have to play you the tune later, but I’ll send you the words now:

What do you think
When ya’ ain’t face to face?
Are ya’ lonely and blue
Or glad for the space?
Is it hard to remember
What it used to be?
I know I’m thinkin’ of you
Are y’all thinking of me?

It won’t last forever
Just get by another day
And we’ll all be together
So I’ll just write ya’ to say

My days are full
Of work and normal stuff
But for once in my life
That just ain’t enough
I never did know
Just how much I feel
like my life’s full up
When y’all are near

It won’t last forever
Just get by another day
And we’ll all be together
So I’ll just write ya’ to say

It won’t last forever
Just get by another day
And we’ll all be together
So I’ll just write ya’ to say
I miss ya’
I love ya’
I’m always
Thinkin’ of ya’
My friends

Now, I’d be obliged if you’d kindly never show that to another pony. I don’t mind a bit of bad poetry between you and me, but Dash seems to think if I don’t act like I’m kicking flank at breakfast, lunch, and supper I’m some kind of pansy. I’d rather not deal with her poking at me over a song.

I suppose maybe I’ve been a bit more careful, and a bit more worried since we been apart. I guess I worry, when I ain’t next to you girls to help you. I do what I can in letters, but sometimes I worry that ain’t enough. So I look for more I can do, and I try to keep myself out of trouble. Dash might think that makes me soft, but you girls wouldn’t believe how fast I’d move if I thought any of y’all needed me, and what manner of trouble I’d jump into for ya’.

But, Dash has been acting funny herself. She says she just misses us, but she sure seems to think I’m interested in hearing just what me and other ponies wanna be getting up to in bed. I hope she gets that outta her system soon, I’m not sure I’m all the way comfortable with her gossiping like that. Some things are personal, you know? If ponies want other ponies to know, they’ll say it to them.

I reckon you ain’t the only pony that can get off topic. I hope your song project gives you some fun stuff to think on.

In terms of stuff to keep you fit, how about something you can do to spend some time with your brother? You two could have some time together, and maybe go for a run, or kick around a hoofball, or he could even teach you some fighting. (Not that you can’t handle yourself, sugarcube. But learning to fight like a royal guard could come in handy some day.) Anyhow, I think anything the two of you could have fun doing with be a treat for both of you, and keep you both in shape.

I ain’t had any luck with OJ yet. Do you know how frustrating it is to talk to a pony who’s grumpy all the time? You leave the talk feeling tired, like keeping cheerful was a fight you had to put up. My day off was nice, though, and I been spending some time with the other farmhooves to kind of recharge. It ain’t as good as my friends and family, y’all make me happy just thinking of you, but it does me some good.

Anyhow, good luck with the songs, and write back soon.

Your friend,

July 8th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

I’m really glad I asked for the song, and I’m really, really glad you wrote one. I got maybe a little bit overexcited when I wrote you that last letter and asked everypony to write one for the experiment. I’ve had a chance to calm down a little bit, and I’m currently a little worried I may have come across too demanding. You know me, though. Sometimes when I get ideas like this I lose track of things.

But with a little perspective, I’m still glad I did it. Reading over your song, I can almost hear you singing it in my head. And, to put it bluntly, I miss hearing your voice. It was made worse by Rainbow; she actually found an old recording of herself singing when she was a filly and sent it to me. I miss everypony so much, I’m getting wistful over all of the little things.

And while I wouldn’t call your song ‘bad poetry,’ I’ll respect your desire to keep it between us. Especially considering the song I wrote for this experiment. I think I’m better at singing spontaneously than actually planning anything out. Maybe next time something exciting happens and I find myself singing for no apparent reason, I’ll have the faculties about me to test for latent magic.

As a sign of good faith (and a way to give you mutual blackmail material), here’s the song I wrote for this experiment. I trust you’ll keep it as hidden as I’ll keep yours hidden.

As far away as you are
You five are close to my heart
These months will blur like racing down a hill
Memories we will chase after
But I miss your smiles and laughter
I'll write to each of you, still
‘Cause I miss Ponyville

I'll try my best to fit in
But without you girls I’m worn thin
‘Cause without you five I feel all alone
The lesson isn't too tough
But without my friends here it feels rough
Although the distance just melts away
Just think of you and I’m back home

I'll try hard to not panic
Though I think I’m getting manic
Insomnia and heartache don’t mix well
But sure as I’m Princess Twilight
I'll stay up working all night
And write everyone letters
Our friendship is an unbreakable spell

An unbreakable spell
An unbreakable spell

Counting clouds through the windows
I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel at home again
We’ll all return there at summer’s end
But until then my ear I’ll lend
We’ll keep the magic alive if we try
And all six of us will thrive
‘Cause our friendship will survive.
Tune source here

And who knows, maybe you’ll be able to read it and hear my voice, too.

I asked Shining about your training idea, and thanks to Cadence he’s getting more receptive to it. Rainbow suggested flying, which I’d love to do more, but I’m stuck on airships for so much of the time I won’t have much of a chance. I’m going to try to do both when I can. If I get to stop close to Palomino Beach, maybe you’ll be able to give me some surfing lessons, too!

And about OJ, maybe Pinkie has some ideas. She can be a little overboard for some ponies, but she did get through to Cranky Doodle. For a while, anyway. I’ve found Pinkie’s advice to almost always be valuable, provided you flex a little subtlety.

I hope to hear from you soon, Applejack. I’ll let you know what comes of these experiments, if anything. I’ll be landing in Manehattan soon, so that should be exciting. I’m at least excited at the idea of stretching my wings.

-Twilight Sparkle

July 11th

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I reckon I get why you don’t want me to tell the other girls, but you’re gonna have to do a hay of a lot more explaining if you don’t want me to tell Twilight. Because right now, it looks like you think Twilight likes you, and you don’t wanna let her know you’re dating another pony so you can lead her on in case things don’t work out.

That ain’t gonna happen, not on my watch. It just so happens I wrote Twilight a letter tonight, and no matter what she writes back, I am not gonna let you break her heart, Rainbow Dash. She’s a princess! And she’s beautiful and a damn sight smarter than either of us’ll ever be, and she deserves better than a pony with two hooves out the door. There are ponies out there, Dash, who ain’t interested in finding some random pony to sleep with for the summer ‘cause they can see just how damn special a pony like Twilight is.

So what I’m telling you is that you’d better mare up before I sober up enough to get out to Las Pegasus and kick that candy colored flank of yours for even thinking of doing that to Twilight. Cause if I didn’t have half a bottle of Captain Morgan in me, I’d be on a train tonight. But don’t you think I’m just writing this ‘cause I’m drunk. I ain’t. Drunk, that is. Or writing this cause I’m drunk. I’m writing it cause it’s what I’m thinking when I read your letter, and being drunk has nothing to do with it.

In case some of that got confused, here’s what I’m saying: If you hurt Twilight Sparkle, I will pluck every feather off your wings.

Clear?

Your friend,
Applejack

July 11th

Dear Twilight,

I think I mighta sent you a letter last night.

~~I didn’t mean to say~~

~~How bad was~~

~~I’m real sorry~~

Let’s just pretend I didn’t, okay?

Your friend,
AJ

July 11th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

You did send me a letter. A letter addressed to Rainbow Dash. I’m…not sure what to take from it, exactly. Frankly, I’m sort of confused. Rainbow asked you to not tell me she’s dating somepony? She hasn’t told me that she was dating anypony, but if I had to guess it would be Booster seeing as he was the only pony she’s mentioned aside from Beesting, and I don’t even want to think about that.

And…Rainbow thinks I like her? Like, like her? I’m…

Applejack, you know me. Before I moved to Ponyville, I didn’t have any friends at all. I don’t know anything about romance; I haven’t thought about this sort of thing. I mean, sure, she’s quite physically…I mean, her aesthetics are…ugh, I just went through this with the horseshoe on the other hoof.

I don’t know what to think. Rainbow Dash is a really good friend and sometimes when I talk to her I get a glimpse of this other mare underneath her façade; a pony who’s spent her whole life pretending to be somepony she isn’t who’s vulnerable and hurting on the inside. When I see that, I just want to help her and let her know that she doesn’t need to hurt or pretend around me. And even when I don’t get that glimpse, she teases me and it makes me laugh just as much as it makes me blush.

Is that romance? I don’t think it is. I see a lot in Rainbow, but I see a lot in you, too. I see under your façade of hard work and selflessness to somepony who’s dead tired half the time and worried she’s going to let everypony down, but most especially herself. And when I see that, I just want to help you and let you know that you don’t have to be strong all the time around me.

I see it in Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, too. I see it in myself. All six of us…all six of us are so strong, but so unsure of ourselves at the same time. I think it’s a symptom of the hoof of cards we’ve been dealt. As much as they’ve brought us together and as much as they’ve helped Equestria, the Elements of Harmony are a burden. One that we’ve all gladly taken on, but one that leaves a mark just the same. A mark that was on all of us before they were ever really in our lives. If we weren’t strong, we wouldn’t have gone into that forest in eternal night. And if we weren’t vulnerable, the Elements wouldn’t have come to us at all.

I don’t know why I’m talking about this now. If Rainbow’s dating somepony at the moment, it’s not like I need to think about it. I’m just…I’m confused, Applejack. Rainbow and I have been exchanging letters, pretty much as often as the two of us have been, and they’ve been playful and funny. Rainbow’s good at teasing me. She knows what buttons to push to get me to go beet red, and she pushes them, and as embarrassing as that can be, it’s also kind of fun. It’s nice to get shaken out of my comfort zone sometimes.

I…don’t know where that led to Rainbow thinking I have feelings for her, and I don’t know why she would hide dating somepony from me to spare them. I’m…I’m a little hurt she didn’t tell me, like I wouldn’t be happy for her, or something. I don’t think she meant it that way, though. And I don’t know that if the situation was different, she wasn’t seeing anypony, and she asked me out on a date that I’d say no.

I mean, I haven’t thought about this. At all. I’m still getting used to what it feels like to have friends, Applejack. I guess now would be the time to start thinking about it, but I don’t know. If somepony as close to me as Rainbow asked me on a date, I’d probably say yes just to see where things went, test the waters, that sort of thing. Life is about experiences, and just because I can’t say right now that I have feelings for anypony doesn’t mean that I’m unwilling to find out if there’s something there or not.

I don’t really know what to do. What I’m going to do is forward your letter to Rainbow. Even if what you were talking to her about is kind of spoiled at this point, it was supposed to go to Rainbow, so that’s where it’s going.

I…don’t know where I’m going with this letter. I guess I’m just trying to talk everything out and make sense of it all. There are some implications here that I’m avoiding. The assumption I can make, from what I read in her letters is that she wants to spare hurting my ‘feelings’ from finding out she’s involved with somepony else. But the assumption you’re making is that she…does have feelings for me, at least a little. And I don’t know that that’s an assumption, since I’ve not been privy to all of your conversations.

And then there’s the other thing.

…Applejack? What was in the letter that was supposed to come to me? I look back over this one to Rainbow, and I get the impression you were going to ask me something, and then this second letter that actually was to me you’re afraid of what my answer might be. What were you going to ask me that you were afraid to find out the answer to? You know there’s nothing you could ask me that would stop us from being friends.

-Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Please don’t say I’m smarter than you. I read a lot and have a lot of things memorized, but that doesn’t make somepony smarter than anypony else. I’m just a pony, Applejack, and you’ve got a great head on your shoulders.

July 11th (evening)

Dear Twilight,

And I thought this couldn’t get worse.

Okay, I reckon the only thing to do is explain here. I was kinda down after work yesterday-- missing you girls, and dealing with OJ, and all. So the farmhooves invited me to the bar. I thought it might be fun to have a good time with some other ponies, so I told ‘em I just had to be back by midnight, so I could write to you and Dash.

We went to this place called Hemmingneigh’s, and I had maybe too good a time. They know how to mix up some rum here, lemme tell you. I’m lucky Pulp was there, he kept me from doing anything too foolish (though I do seem to recall singing “Redneck Filly” at the top of my lungs along with the jukebox...) and he got me home in time to write those letters.

I kinda wish he’d kept me from doing anything foolish there, too.

I’ll be honest, I can’t remember exactly what went into either of them. I just remember how I felt when I wrote them. I’m sorry you saw that one I wrote Dash. I’m sorry it was confusing, and I’m sorry if I was harder on Dash than I shoulda been. And I owe an apology to Dash, cause I reckon I ran my mouth about things that were supposed to be between me and her, even if I thought I was just telling them to her.

I made this mess, so I figure I oughta try to make this less confusing for you, as much as I can without telling too much. Dash was spending time with a pony, and she asked me not to mention it to folks, including you. I don’t think she meant any harm, I think she just doesn’t know what she’s feeling yet. What she thinks about what you’re feeling could be her imagination-- you know she can’t think a pony ain’t thinking of her 24/7-- or it might be her wishing. Either way, it didn’t seem that way to me last night, and I was good and riled up by the time I wrote her. Don’t hold nothing I said against her, that was a bottle writing that. Both y’all need to figure out what you’re feeling on your own, without my help.

As for what I said to you, and sent to Rainbow Dash... I’m never gonna live that down. Twilight, I try to be honest, but I know that there’s a time and a place to tell things. What I had to ask you wasn’t something a pony oughta write in a letter, especially not drunk. You know, I got a roaring headache right now, but I’d take one twice as bad if it’d erase last night.

Anyhow, I guess what I wrote was something about how much I miss you. You see, I think I miss you more than I should. I miss you more than anypony else, and I miss you in ways I don’t miss the other girls, and I been feeling like that for a bit. Really, I ain’t much less confused than you are ‘bout it all, I just had a bunch of liquor in me and it all seemed real clear all of a sudden. Same with what I wrote Dash, really. Things that I was thinking about turned into things I was doing something about without me noticing that the thinking was nowhere near done. I never meant to lay this on you now, when we’re missing each other so much, and we can’t sit down and talk it out. I’m so sorry I messed up this bad.

Your friend,

July 13th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

Rainbow sent me that letter that was supposed to go to me, and right now I’m so frayed at the edges I don’t think I can go through everything I just went through writing to her again, so I’m just going to copy what I wrote to her. A lot of it applies to you already.

I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault.
I have done several things today that I thought I’d never be able to do in my life, without either dying of embarrassment or being banished or locked away, or locked away in the place I was banished, possibly while attending magic kindergarten on the moon.
First thing was I showed all our letters to Cadence. She’s had a bit of an outside view of things, mostly because I have a habit of dictating my letters out loud as I write them and I’m not always mindful of other ponies in the room.
I…I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t even know you were flirting with me, and I was flirting back. I thought you were teasing me and I was teasing back. I still don’t understand the distinction as I look at it.
I feel like a fool, and I feel like I’ve been leading you on. And the worst part of it is…
The worst part is I don’t know what I’m feeling. Before I got Applejack’s letter that was intended for you, I hadn’t thought about romance in my life at all. But if you couldn’t guess it about me already, as soon as I realized I hadn’t thought about something…
…Care to guess what I’ve been thinking about every minute since?
Celestia damn the world to tartarus, I have no idea what I’m feeling, Rainbow Dash. I just know that when I read your letters, or listen to your record, or think about your face, I just want to see you again. For real. I want to see everypony again, but it’s not quite the same.
Okay, so Manehattan has been similar and different compared to Stalliongrad, but I’ve had this weight on my mind through all the silly formality (we went on a yacht tour through a harbor where all the houses of some rich and famous ponies live, pointing out interesting architecture [yay!] and discussing which such-and-such sugar baron built the original mansion that burned to the ground a hundred years ago that the new one is modeled after, and which ones were owned by their foals, and I couldn’t hope to begin caring). And then…right before I got your second letter that had the note from Applejack, I took your advice and went flying.
And suddenly everything made sense. I don’t know what specifically made sense, but for the first time in weeks I felt at home again. And then I went back to my hotel room, played your record, and started crying.
And then I got Applejack’s letter. And I’ve been thinking about what she said to me the other day, too, about how what she asked was something she should have asked face to face. And then I read the song she wrote me and started crying again.
Because I want to see Applejack so bad right now, too. I want to see all six of you so badly I could scream, but for Applejack it’s different. Like how it’s different for you. But not the same different. Different different. And I don’t know what that means.
I’m still so confused, Rainbow. At first it was about what was going on around me, now it’s about myself. I don’t know what I want, and what’s worse, the two ponies I’d turn to for help in this are…well, they’re you and Applejack.
I know you’d probably think I’d talk to Rarity about this, but she’d be running around making me a dress for a date that hasn’t even been planned with…with I don’t know who, and why this would even result in a date with anypony is a ridiculous notion at this point, since I don’t know that that’s something I really want, or you want, or Applejack wants, or that any of us don’t want, and I’m just so confused, and Rarity wouldn’t help with that at all. She’d think it was ‘romantic,’ whatever the hell that means.
No, it’s you and Applejack I’d talk to, because we think the same about these sorts of things, I think. Even when we’re angry or overwhelmed, we’re practical and we think in down to earth and reasonable ways. Any advice you would give me, while full of teasing (or flirting, I don’t know), would be something simple and rational. And it would be the same with Applejack. I like simple and rational.
But I can’t ask for either of your advice on this, really. And we’re all so far away from each other.
Which leads me to the other thing I never thought I’d do that I did today.
I…sorta threatened Princess Luna.
She was taken aback by it, and I think I hurt her feelings and I’ll need to make amends, but I couldn’t be in the dark on this anymore. One of the things Applejack mentioned in her letter was that thanks to this summer, ‘we can’t sit down and talk it out.’
I threatened her so I could see the itinerary. I told her I needed to see it and if she didn’t share then I would take it from her by force. I feel scummy and awful for doing it, but I’m at the end of my rope here. I need to see you and Applejack again, as soon as I can, or I’m going to go crazy. There’s too much that needs to be said face to face.
Because…because Cadence says she doesn’t believe you when you say you just thought it was adorable. And she says she doesn’t believe me when I say I didn’t know it was just teasing. And she says she doesn’t believe me about not ever thinking about any of this before.
And…and I think about your face and your smile…and when I got Applejack’s drunken letter and read it, I imagined Applejack’s hooves around me in that hug she wanted to give me.
I think Cadence is right.
I’ve made a mess of things, most of all myself. I’m sorry, Rainbow. I’m sorry I couldn’t see what’s supposed to be right in front of me, and I’m sorry that all of this had to happen while we’re miles away from each other. I don’t know what I want, and I doubt either you or Applejack really know, either, based on everything Cadence has said to me about this, not only about me and you, and me and her, but you and her as well. All I know is that we need to talk about this face to face to face. Because letters aren’t cutting it.
I didn’t get to see the itinerary. Princess Celestia took one look at me and said I could take a few days off from the trip to sort out this mess with myself.
I’ll be in Las Pegasus on July 18th.
If I can organize it, Applejack might be with me.

I’ll be in Palomino Beach on the 17th. Think you can take a day off from the farm?

I need to see you, Applejack. And Rainbow. And I think you need to see each other as well. Even if we can’t answer any questions, it’s exactly as you said. We can sit down and talk it out. If there’s nothing else being a princess has gotten me so far, it at least lets me do this.

See you soon.

-Twilight Sparkle

July 13th

Dear Twilight,

You... wanna sit down and talk this out? Like, face to face talking? Where we’re in the same place and looking at each other, all three of us?

Well now, that sounds like a fine idea, yesiree! I can’t wait to see y'all and talk. About how I feel. There’s nothing like a good old talk with my friends about how we all feel about each other. Yup.

I’m sure I can take some days off. And there’s a lot of stuff here in Palomino Beach I gotta show you, like the beach! You can’t come to Palimino Beach and not see the beach, right? Oh, and the farm. I dunno how much time we’re gonna have for talking. And I bet Dash has a bunch to show us in Las Pegasus. I never been to Las Pegasus, so I’m gonna have to see all the sights, of course. But I’m sure we’ll get some time to say some words.

By the way, while it’s no problem me taking some time off, I’m gonna have something real important to do whenever your train’s coming in, so there’s no way I can meet ya’ at the train station. I’m real, real sorry about that. If you think you’ll have trouble getting out here, I can send Pulp to pick you up.

So, speaking about the farm! I finally made some way with OJ, but now I got a friendship question I’m gonna need your help with. Maybe it’ll do ya’ some good to focus on things else for a bit?

So, it turns out OJ’s cutie mark is from cooking! Of course, that’s great news cause I’m a bit of a cook myself, so we can share some recipes and show each other some tricks. I asked him to help me make an orange glazed squash tomorrow night, so he gets some time using his special talent. That oughta cheer him up a bit.

Anyhow, the problem is that apparently, he was gonna open a restaurant in Manehattan with his best friend, when Uncle Orange asked him to take this job. OJ kinda thought he should-- it’s family, it’s good pay, and Palomino Beach ain’t a bad place for a restaurant, and he’d have all the fresh oranges he could get his hooves on. But his friend didn’t see it that way, and they had a bad fight.

That kinda soured OJ on the whole farming thing. I think he’s real lonely, and not really trusting other ponies to be good friends. And I think he’s feeling like it’s the farm’s fault that he lost his best friend, so he’s not gonna give a lick about it. I really do feel bad for him.

So, I know I can help him have some fun with his special talent, and maybe talk to him about opening a cart to sell some treats. That way he’ll feel like the farm is part of his life, and I think he’ll want to be more involved. And I know I can be a good friend to him, as long as I’m here. But I’ll be going home in the fall, and I don’t want him to feel let down by that. I wish I could get in touch with his buddy, and try to make things right there. Even if that pony has a good reason for staying in Manehattan, at least OJ wouldn’t feel like he gave up a friend to be here. At the same time, I don’t wanna go sticking my muzzle in where it don’t belong. I don’t even know this pony’s name, or how to find it out, and OJ seems a little touchy on the subject.

So, what do you think I should do there? I been mulling it over myself, I gotta say it’s a bit easier to think about somepony elses problems than other stuff.

I reckon I’ll be seeing you soon, so write back with what time I can expect you, and if you need a pony to meet you at the station and stuff.

Your friend,

July 16th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

That’s great to hear about OJ! I knew you’d get through to him eventually. I wish I could have looked up this friend of his here in Manehattan, but I’ve been busy and distracted. Really distracted. But…well, I’m sure you understand about that. It’s been a great relief to know that I’d get to see you soon, but it hasn’t made tours and dinners easier to handle in the meantime.

It sounds to me like the restaurant part isn’t really what’s at stake for OJ. Sure, the move to Palomino Beach and the strain with his friend made opening the restaurant unfeasible for him at the moment, but I’d imagine the fight with his friend is really what’s hurting him. If these last few weeks have taught me anything, forced distance with friends is painful and draining. If he’s a touchy subject for OJ, it might be hard to do, but I think encouraging him to try and rebuild that relationship might get a bit more spring in his step. After all, with enough hard work he’d be able to open a restaurant in Palomino Beach just as easily as Manehattan, but if he’s feeling lonely and hurt, all that motivation is gone.

Believe me, I have had no motivation at all these last few days. If I could, I’d sit in my hotel room and listen to Rainbow’s record, play with sock puppets, and read everypony’s letters over and over again.

And I had this really awful dream the other night that’s been making things worse. It was…well, it was probably me being silly and over-reactive, but it still scared me. There’s a lot about me that’s…changed. And I’m still getting used to it. It’s…

Well, maybe I’ll talk to you about it when I see you. I don’t want to think about it anymore right now. You’re right; focusing on other ponies’ problems really is comforting.

I’m taking a sleeper train into Palomino Beack ~~tomorrow~~ later today, so I’ll be there bright and early tomorrow morning. Having somepony meet me would probably be helpful, unless it’s easy to find the farm. Heck, just directions might be enough; I’m kind of tired of having a group of ponies with me wherever I go. Although it would be rather nice if you were there to meet me, but if you’re busy, I understand.

Although how you could be busy for certain when I’m arriving, but not know when that is exactly is beyond me.

No, don’t worry about it, Applejack. I’m really nervous about this, too. Seeing you and Rainbow will be wonderful; I miss you both so much and I can’t wait to see you again and hug you, but I know this isn’t going to be easy. I don’t expect it to be easy at all.

But I know it’s gonna be worth it, I can just tell.

See you ~~soon~~ tomorrow!

-Twilight Sparkle

July 29th

Dear Twilight,

I don’t even know how to start off. Should our letters be more special now? I reckon Rarity’d think so, she’d think I oughta be writing you flowery stuff and poetry. But you know I ain’t any good with that. Besides, I smile just thinking about you, so I’m hoping that just getting a letter from me will be enough by itself to brighten your day.

I reckon I better start off with saying I’m sorry for taking so long to write you. See, I wasn’t back but a day, when who should show up for a visit but Aunt and Uncle Orange. They’re still here, actually, they decided to stay for two weeks. Two really long weeks, it turns out.

Aunt and Uncle Orange can’t go anyplace without a fancy party, so I been to more than my share. Being as I’m their niece, and a “close, personal friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle,” they couldn’t wait for me to meet all their friends. Don’t worry, sugarcube, I didn’t tell nopony just how close and personal we are these days. You decide what I oughta say there, and ‘til then I just tell them you’re one of my best friends.

Of course, you know I can’t go to these parties in my cowpony hat. So between the fancy parties (and brunches. don’t get me started on brunches, let me tell you...) I got to go shopping.

Yup, I’m just as happy about this as you think I am.

But I will say this: Darn near every pony I’ve talked to these past weeks has told me they met you once and you were “utterly charming.” That always makes me smile, ‘cause it’s so true, and I’m so lucky. They got no idea just how cute you are, sugarcube. Not to mention smart and kind and loving. Every time they say that I feel like the richest pony in the room, ‘cause I got to hold you for a night.

I miss you now, Twilight. Not that I’d have time to hold you proper. I been so busy with frou-frou stuff that I hardly have time to get out to the groves, let alone take some time to surf or try and make things better with OJ. But, I need to make time, at least to write you and Dash letter more often. Y’all deserve better than a mare that don’t got time for you.

I know you been spending all summer doing this sort of stuff. Hey, didn’t you say Pinkie told you how to make these things fun? I don’t suppose you’d mind passing that along.

And while you’re at it, tell me all about where you’re at now. You know I’ve always just liked reading words you wrote, and that goes double now when I can think about holding you while I’m reading.

Love,

Applejack

August 4th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

Our letters are more special now, without flowery poetry, because I can imagine you holding me, too. That’s special, right? That’s not something I thought about before, but it’s something I’m thinking about now, and you’re thinking about, and it makes this long distance seem a little bit less important, at least to me.

I’m sorry I broke my promise about writing right away, too, but I’ve been kept really busy on my side of things as well. It’s been a flurry of meetings and tours and I’ve barely had the energy to read letters, let alone write any. We’re getting ready to leave for Yokestone National Park next, so I have the breather of a few days in an air-ship, and I’ll hopefully have more time to write there than I did here. But that’s something both of us—Heck, Rainbow, too; all three of us—will just have to accept. Now and once we’re all home again. We are not idle ponies. We all work very hard and we take pride in that. Finding time will always be a little bit of a challenge, and I’ll never begrudge you your work. I know it’s important to you, and I would never want to get in the way of you keeping your farm together.

Remember that first Applebuck season after I moved to Ponyville? You don’t need to take this all on your shoulders by yourself now, either. We’ll work on it together. We’re three busy mares, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I’ll find time for you, and I know you will find time, too. So no more of this ‘mare that doesn’t have time for you’ stuff. I know you care; it bleeds off the page and makes those imagined hooves of yours hug me all the more strongly.

Now, for parties, this is what Pinkie sent me for helping make them a little bit less…I want to say soul-sucking. I don’t think I’ll sugar-coat it beyond that:

P – Personality! Find out what those ponies like and bring them together.
A – Are you playing games? Games rev up the fun!
R – Remember the refreshments. Guests that are full are full of fun and laughter, too!
T – Take the lead! The party starts with you! Kick out the jams and boogie! Tell some jokes! Get those ponies into a good mood!
Y- You can make a difference – Even if it’s not your party, you can be the party. Put on a smile and jump right in!

Alright, now for what I’ve done in toning these down to something a bit less Pinkie Pie and a bit more practical for something I’m not hosting. It’s really just ‘taking the lead,’ not just on the conversation, but on everything. I tell myself going in that I’m going to make sure I have a good time. I steer conversations somewhere that everypony can enjoy to the best of my ability and really just try to take the responsibility onto myself for my own enjoyment. I started off feeling really out of my element, which I’m sure is something with which you can relate, but it was a wonder how much easier it got when I just told myself that I was in my element.

I hope these parties get a little easier for you. If not, I have possibly the single most sympathetic ear in Equestria when it comes to surviving dull parties at this point and I’m happy to commiserate with you.

As for what’s happening, I’m afraid I don’t have much to share; everything flew by in a torrent it seemed. A happy one, because it felt like everything reminded me of home, but a rush nonetheless. I’m planning on really getting started working on magical frequencies and qualities within music, so I should be able to share some of that with you soon. Mostly I’m happy about going over your song again. I really can feel your hooves around me and I still feel so safe, Applejack. This week has been a marvel for me, for that reason. Knowing I have you there, and Rainbow, too. I still don’t know what this is that the three of us have, because it feels so…

I don’t even know. I know that it’s something I’m going to hold onto for as long as I can. I tried talking to Cadence about it, since this is her area of specialty, but she got kind of quiet. Not bad by any means; I know she’s happy. I know, because Shining almost blew open a hole in a wall before Cadence calmed him down. He’s always been a touch on the protective side, so I don’t know why I was surprised. Don’t worry about him any, because he’s calmed down since then, after a long talk with Cadence.

Anyway, she got quiet about it and gave me a bunch of books to read, which I haven’t had the chance look through. I’m not sure what they’re for, but she said they might answer some questions for the three of us. I’ll let you know when I figure out what the heck she’s talking about.

Write back to me when you have the time. I know it feels like you need to get everything done at once and curse the fact that a day is only 24 hours when you have 30 hours of stuff to fit in, but time is something that doesn’t go away. We’ll have time, all three of us. Between now to the end of summer, and every single day afterwards if we want them.

I don’t know what the future holds, but right now, I want them with all my heart. We’ll find the time together, no matter how long it takes.

-Twilight Sparkle

August 18th

Dear Twilight,

I’m so tired. Right after the Oranges went home, we got slammed with a hay of a storm. These past two weeks I been cutting up fallen trees, righting the ones that could be saved, and gathering what oranges are still good. I got plenty help, I promise, but it’s been all I can do to keep my eyes open long enough to make it to my bed.

Course, that gets me thinking about how I’m going to get home right in time for harvest season there. I reckon I might get a day off sometime after we set up for winter. But at least at home I’ll have you girls near by, and I was thinking maybe you and Dash could come and curl up with me in bed one night, if you wanted. I know my house is crowded, but those days I don’t know that I’ll be up to much anyhow, and I don’t suppose a little cuddling is gonna hurt anypony. That’s all I want right now, you and Dash curled up with me in my bed.

The good news is I’ve been getting OJ to help more. With all them fallen oranges, I suggested he oughta make up some treats. They were darn good! I see now why the boy got that orange on his flank. Everypony thought he oughta sell them, so we built him a cart from the downed trees, and he set up right next to the beach last weekend. Pulled in a pretty penny, too. He threw in full force to help save what trees we could, and he’s talking about building a proper stand in town that would be like a little cafe... it’s a little frou-frou for me, to be honest, but it’d fit right in there and it’s got him thinking of this place like his home, so I’m behind him all the way.

You ever think about what makes a place a home, Twilight? Ponies always say it’s where the ponies they love are, but I don’t know that’s true. To be honest, I think a pony finds ponies they love wherever their home is. I think home is something more than that, it’s where your life is. Where there’s something for you to do that you love doing, and ponies who appreciate it. I can’t see you being happy in Ponyville, even with us girls around, unless you had the library to take care of. And right now, you’re out there with ponies you love but I can tell from your letters that none of those places are feeling like home. You’re not doing the things you love, so it ain’t home. I’m right glad there’s something for you to do in Ponyville, so that can be your home near me.

Just something I was thinking. It’s probably pretty silly.

Sorry to cut this letter a bit short, but I’l well behind on getting back to the other girls, and I got a few that seem kind of important. Not that you ain’t most important, but, well, I know you understand.

Love,

August 24th

From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic

Dear Applejack,

I’m going to be in Palomino Beach next week, and the first thing I’m going to do is kiss you senseless.

…Let me back up a little. I had a rough time in Las Pegasus for a lot of reasons. Rainbow had a run-in with Spitfire, and then afterwards she told me that she loved me. I’ve been running around in circles for weeks about what the three of us have, worrying and questioning myself, thinking about the future, trying to make plans for a life that’s so confusing I was about ready to pull my mane out by the roots.

And I couldn’t really talk to Rainbow about it. I said maybe one sentence about how it was bothering me and she basically said, ‘Eh, who cares? It’s awesome,’ which it is, but doesn’t exactly ease my thoughts when they’re going every which way.

Plus, she needed me to be the strong one for her; she can be so fragile at times. She’s strong and bold and makes me laugh, but after Spitfire she needed my shoulder, and all I could think about was how much I wanted you there. I wanted your hooves around me so bad, so I could know everything was okay and I didn’t have to worry so much, because I don’t have to worry when you’re there and I know everything will be okay.

I told her the truth, by the way. I said I thought I loved her back, which made me think about you, because I felt the same, and I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what it means to feel like this, and I just went in a loop, worrying and worrying. I knew that what I feel is powerful, and a little scary, but comforting, too. So I guessed, because Rainbow was there and I could smell her mane and everything felt right, and it was as close to the truth as I could get.

And then I had a fight with Shining and I just wanted you more. I just wanted to feel safe again, and it’s just not the same with Rainbow, and dear Celestia, I’ve been a mess.

So I picked up the music experiment again. I’ve been so drained the last few weeks, I got it all ready to go and then left it for when I was feeling better. I wrote some letters earlier, but I kept going in circles in my head, questioning myself and what I feel, and knowing I’d be in Palomino Beach soon, and thinking about you, and about Rainbow. Last time I got like that I listened to Rainbow’s record and read your song to feel better, so I thought actually trying out the experiment would help.

The experiment was successful. Music inherently carries magic in it, in some form. Written songs, even ones that are extremely short, have a potency, and it doesn’t matter if the writer is a unicorn, alicorn, pegasus, or earth pony. The words themselves hold power and can sway the very fabric of the world.

Some songs are more powerful than others; Pinkie’s song is especially powerful. I’ll have to run further tests with other songs of hers, but I tested not only the one you sent along, but others I remember from her. The most powerful song I tested today was the song about laughter she sang the day we all met.

That’s all in raw magic, from the songs. That magic affects the world around it in quantifiable ways, too. The laughter song actually made the room I was in physically brighter to ward off anything that could cause fear in anypony present. At this point, I was very distracted from my worrying: the applications of such magic are tremendous. I don’t know if this helps explain why Pinkie can be so…Pinkie, or if it’s because Pinkie is so Pinkie she can create powerful musical magic, but the magic is there, and real, and meaningful.

But that’s not the best thing that happened today. Pinkie’s songs were the most powerful, but there were two songs that had an affect that meant more to me.

Your songs. The one you wrote, and the one Rainbow Dash sent me.

The magic produced was fairly similar between both; Rainbow’s was a little weaker, which I have the beginnings of a hypothesis for an explanation: the time since it was written but not performed regularly weakened it compared to newer songs and older songs that everypony knows and sings (happy birthday had a surprisingly high amount of magic), but otherwise they were fairly nondescript.

Except all of the magic went into me. All of it.

It’s hard to get an accurate self-analytical magical reading, since one has to use magic to read magic, but I traced where it went and what it did to me the best I could. It seemed to stimulate memory centers specifically connected to olfactory sensors, elevate my heart rate, and trigger the release of a lot of hormones. But more than that, the magic settled in a specific place in my brain that was unmarked in general anatomy.

I nearly tore my saddlebags apart digging through books, trying to find any sort of information, because for some reason that location was very familiar to me, even though I couldn’t put a hoof on it.

The magic wasn’t changing anything I could find, just seeming to trigger autonomic reactions in me, and ones that would happen normally, anyway. It didn’t make sense compared to the other songs: most left an ambient trace of magic in the room, or attempted to fulfill some sort of purpose. I tried your songs again with magical barriers in place to separate myself from the location, and they behaved the same as any other song.

I was siphoning the magic into myself. The songs weren’t changing me, the songs were responding to my own changes.

And the reason they were doing it was because you and Rainbow wrote them. Because that location in the brain was the same place that lit up in Shining Armor and Cadence when they repelled the Changelings from Canterlot.

The magic of the songs knows I’m in love with you.

I’m in love with you, Applejack. I know it now, and knowing it makes me so happy. I didn’t lie to Rainbow; I’m in love with her, too.

And I don’t care if that’s weird or not anymore. It’s real, I can feel it, and I can see the magic flow into my own head from a song performed over a decade ago.

So when I see you this week, I’m going to kiss you senseless, because I’m in love, and I don’t care what that means or what’s going to happen in the future, so long as you’re in it. It’s a future where I can feel this unfettered all the time, wrapped in your hooves where everything makes sense.

With Love,

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Dash and Twilight,

I’m sending this to both you girls, because I figure it’s kind of important.

I’m headed home. This weekend, just in time for cider season.

But what home is, now that keeps on changing on me. I suppose you’d think that living all my life in the same place would mean home is always the same place, but it ain’t. Thinking on the home I’m going to now, well, it ain’t even the same home I left from at the beginning of the summer, let alone the one I grew up in. It might be the same houses and shops, the same trees on the farm, even mostly the same ponies. But none of that makes it the same place.

When I was born, it was my folks, and Mac, and Granny. My whole world was Sweet Apple Acres, then Ponyville when I was a bit bigger, and it was mostly good. There were foals at school I butted heads with, and chores that needed doing, but plenty of time to play and I always had Mac around to play with. When I was little, that’s what I thought my home was, and I never thought it could change, until Ma told me I was getting a little sister.

Then Apple Bloom was born… the whole farm just about lit up. I guess neither of y’all know it, but there’s nothing like having a baby foal around to change everything. Ma and Pa were were happy, and so sweet with the baby. There was a lot of work, and sometimes she was a fussy little thing, but it was worth it when she took her first steps, and started learning words, and followed me and Mac all over like a kitten.

I’m glad Apple Bloom came when she did. Those last years with my folks… I couldn’t have asked for better ones. The very last thing I remember of my folks was them leaving, and Pa found that Apple Bloom hid cookies all in their bags, for “snats,” she said. We had to take every darn thing out and shake it out, then put it all back in, but we were laughing the whole time. It took about ten extra minutes I guess, but… I never thought then that ten minutes would mean so much to me now.

Y’all will have to pardon my messy writing just there.

After that, home was different again. The farm was dark, as much as we all loved each other, we knew we were hurtin’. On top of that, there was all that work that needed doing, and back then it felt like it never ended. I stepped up and did what I had to, but it wasn’t the life I’d been used to, and it took a while, and me and Mac growing up, to get to what y’all saw when you came to town.

But at the same time, ponies around town were real nice to me, and all Ponyville was my home. One little filly who I’d been having some troubles with was even good enough to drop all that and start over as friends. It took a good pony to be just a foal, and see how rough my life was right then, and try to make it a little easier by saying sorry. I’ll always owe Rarity for that.

From there, well, the farm got better as Apple Bloom got bigger, and me and Mac could get stuff done with less trouble. And of course in town I met Pinkie, and Fluttershy, and Dash. Over time I thought everything was pretty good. I loved my home, my farm and town both, and all the ponies in it.

Then everything changed again when you came to town, Twilight. My life has been better than ever, having the best friends a pony could ask for, going on adventures. You and the girls have helped me step up to take care of my home in ways I never thought I could, and taught me when it’s better for everypony if I take care of me first. It’s been hard, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a life I never thought I’d trade for anything.

But I reckon I traded it, there in Las Pegasus. I traded it for a life with two ponies I love, and whatever comes with that. I don’t know what that is just yet, but it’s gonna be different. The Ponyville I’m coming home to ain’t the place I left. But, for this time at least, I can’t wait to see what it is. I can’t wait to have two more ponies I can love with all my heart, to see y’all in town and know I can walk right over and get a kiss, to have all the more reason to make you both proud.

So, like I said, I’m coming home soon, and I can’t wait to get there. I reckon it ain’t getting back, it’s going forward, but I can’t help thinking I’m going someplace even more special than before.

I love ya both, and I’ll see ya’ soon.

Love,
AJ

October 27th

From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
(You can only imagine how wonderful it was to finally get new letterhead)

Dear Applejack and Rainbow,

This has been the craziest summer, hasn’t it?

I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to write very much recently. It’s not entirely my fault; it was a joint effort between me and Shining Armor to completely derail the tour across Equestria and nearly kill everypony.

…I should probably explain that.

See, after our visit, Applejack, things between me and my brother improved a lot. I’m not sure exactly what was said between the two of you in the grove, but not only has he been in better spirits, he’s also stopped treating me so much like a foal. It was nice…well, nice isn’t quite enough to cover it. I know you both know that Shining and I have been close most of our lives, but…

We really haven’t been that close. Not for a very long time. We were as close as a pair of siblings could be when I was really little. I still remember what it was like, being in awe of him, because not only was he older and bigger than me (funny how big of a deal that could be when you’re a kid), but because he was so many things that I wasn’t.

Shining was so outgoing and charismatic; as a filly I kept to myself not only because I didn’t get the point of having friends, but because I had trouble relating to other ponies. I was so far in my own head that making those connections was beyond me, and he was so good at it, and at sports, and just as involved in his studies as I was.

Okay, not as involved in studying as me, but I could hold better conversations about magic with him than some of my teachers, back before I got accepted to Celestia’s school.

But then I did go to school, which brought me to living in the castle instead of with my parents. I saw Shining, and both my parents for that matter, off and on for all those years, but that relationship we had had as foals had become a memory instead of reality. For the few days I saw him, that didn’t matter, and we could pretend everything was the same as it was because there was no reason to look deeper and see that our relationship was built on a house of cards. Even when his wedding made me see that, I didn’t want to believe it. I’m glad things turned out the way they did, but at the same time we willingly put ourselves back in the dark, pretending that we were always this same team of BBBFF and little Twiley.

If I ignore everything amazing, wonderful, tedious, educational, and frightening, magical, boring, and eye-opening that happened this summer, it would still have been worth it to start that over, get to know who Shining Armor really is, and build something new with him.

Unfortunately, that meant that he stopped holding back for our sparring sessions. On the one hoof, I could keep up with him and learned a move or two (though I imagine without magic the two of you could still best me with no trouble; we’ll have to test this theory somewhere secluded). On the other hoof, we almost blew up the airship.

…And by ‘almost,’ I mean we blew up the airship.

I didn’t mean to, okay? I wasn’t trying to put everypony’s lives in danger when I cast that lance spell, and I know Shining didn’t know that it would go through three engines when he blocked it! It was an accident! ~~And as many times as I’ve told Celestia that, I just know she’s gonna send me back to magic kindergarten any day now, and it’s hard to remember to breathe sometimes, and it was an accident, but~~

Sorry, started to panic there a little. I calmed down and had a slice of cake. It’s funny, I got so sick of cake there for a while, but now it’s relaxing. Maybe I ate so much of it that I got sick of being sick of it and grew fond of it again. I wonder if that happened to Pinkie ever? Anyway, that’s mostly what I’ve been doing: making myself panic and then eating cake. I’ll probably have to make myself useful around the farm before I make this triad look more like a quadrad.

Oh, that reminds me. Cadence gave me this book about relationships that I never had time to really read with any sort of critical eye until after I blew up the airship, and I finally found why she gave it to me.

What we have is called a triad. The simplest definition for that is a romantic relationship involving three ponies.

My book had a lot to say about it, a lot of which didn’t apply (for instance, most triads start out with a primary couple dating a third pony, with that relationship sometimes limited to sexual), or had some negative things to say. Triads are difficult to manage; most ponies who try them have issues with jealousy, if not over their partners having feelings for each other, than over how time gets split up. One on one relationships can be difficult on their own, without a third pony involved, and they have a history of being short lived and frustrating. I confess I saw the point; we three aren’t idle ponies who have all the time in Equestria to focus on each other, and we’re going to be hard pressed to always be available to be there for one another.

It was liberating to find how little I cared about that, though.

It was nice to know that what we have has a name, and that others have tried and succeeded before us to make it work, but that doesn’t matter to me, either.

I’ve spent the past two months dealing with an exploded airship and several dozen annoyed dignitaries who had to make arrangements to meet with us in Canterlot instead of their home cities, annoyed princesses who don’t enjoy having airships explode around them (also Luna was disappointed we didn’t make it to Baltimare. I was, too; I’ll have to make it up to Rarity later), working more on this song-magic project, eating far too much cake, and panicking.

And I’m finally coming home.

I’ve been dreaming about seeing the both of you again, every night and half of each day. I’ve missed my home, I’ve missed my friends, and I’ve missed the two ponies who have captured my heart. I’m excited for the challenge of making this work with the both of you. It’s going to be hard, and whatever the future holds now is going to take conviction and strength.

But I’m so ready for that, because you’re both worth it. Wherever life takes us, wherever we go, no matter how this ends, whether that’s months, or years, or decades in the future, through hard times and good times, I’m ready to take that journey with both of you.

I really can’t wait. I’ll see you both in a few days.

With love,

-Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow Dash and Applejack

View Online

June 23rd

Dear Applejack,

Viva Las Pegasus, baby! Boo yeah!!!

...Okay, so I guess I should tell you how my first night was.

Well, to start off, my flight to the city took up a good chunk of a day. For the most part, it’s just a relaxing journey over grasslands and stuff. I was doing tricks and the rest of my usual stuff, I thought to myself ‘I could get used to this.’

...And then, I reached the desert.

So hot. So. Damn. Hot.

I kept thinking back to the morning. Fluttershy had insisted that I bring a water bottle, and I was like ‘No way, ‘Shy. No desert can conquer Rainbow Dash!’

As I was flying through the desert, I would have gladly eaten those words (preferably in cold, liquid form).

...You gotta promise me you’ll never tell Fluttershy I admitted that. I know she doesn’t seem like the gloating type, but I’m not taking chances. The two of us have been friends forever, and I know that she’s waiting for the day to say that she was right and I was wrong... plotting.

Anyway, it starts to get dark, and I’m almost positive I’m gonna die. The temperature had dropped a ton and now it was getting harder to move my wings. I dunno what Cloudsdale’s problem is, but they need to send some clouds into the desert for coverage STAT. It seriously baffles me that ponies would live out here. I guess that just makes me just as loony for taking this job.

So yeah, things aren’t looking too good. I’m exhausted, cold, and dehydrated. It looks like the end... until I see the light. Actually it was several lights, and then it hit me. I had reached fabulous Las Pegasus!

Wait, did I just say fabulous? I meant awesome. Yeah, awesome. (You also have to promise me you’ll never tell Rarity I said that)

So there I was, on the Pegasus strip. The lights, the casinos, and the shows were all at my grasp. I knew that by the end of this summer, I would leave with the world tied to my string... but I didn’t start last night. No, instead, as soon as I found a hotel, I checked in, drank my body weight in sink water, and then passed out on my bed.

So all in all, not exactly the most exciting first night, but hey, I’m here. Anything’s possible now.

My new job starts tomorrow, so I’m gonna spend the day hunting for an apartment. I’m sure there’s cloud complex or something in this town. I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be a pegasus town without cloud homes, right?

Anyway, just letting you know how things are. Have fun at the beach and stuff. Promise me you’ll learn how to surf, okay? Surfing is like the coolest and awesomest thing next to flying (and uh, rodeo’s pretty okay, I guess).

Rude, crude, and with attitude,

Rainbow Dash

June 24th

Dear Rainbow Dash,

What are you, crazy?!

Of all the featherbrained ponies, trying to fly through a desert with no water... At least you made it to Las Pegasus. You suppose that’s why they put that city in the middle of a desert, because they knew that some pegasi were gonna be fool enough to need someplace to land to keep from dying?

Also, I reckon that the reason the place is a desert has to do with there being no clouds. Putting clouds in the desert would kinda make it not a desert.

And I hope in getting that world on your string, you remember you got classes to teach. But then, I know you do, sugarcube. You’d never let a pony down.

Wish I could say the same for this good for nothing pony I’m training to manage this here farm. Yesterday I met him, my uncle’s nephew OJ, laying next to a swimming pool because it was “too nice to work.” You know me, Dash, you can imagine how that one went over.

So by today I’d cooled down some, and I dragged him out to do some pruning with me and the rest of the farmhooves... I wonder if Rarity’s ever thought of orange farming, because she’d do a better job of it than this colt.

I never seen a pony work so slow. Me and the other workers could get a row done in the time it took him to clear a tree. He was trying to shake it with his forehooves, so I tried to show him how to buck the tree so it all comes down. He just kinda looked at me, then soon as I was working again I saw him using his forehooves.

But, I just wrote to Pinkie, and I’m thinking maybe I’m going about this wrong. Maybe if I try being a little more cheerful, he’ll come around?

Or maybe I’m gonna need you to bail me out of the dungeon when they haul me away for bucking a pony in the face. I guess we’ll find out in these next few weeks.

And all that’s on top of the gators. I ain’t talking about Gummy here. I’m talking about big old gators, and they got teeth, too. And do they live in the forest or something? Course not! We got one living in a lake right here on the farm. I saw him this morning, just laying there and watching me. I gotta figure out how to make sure he knows that he ain’t getting a bite of this Apple.

You know, on my day off, getting the hay away from this place don’t sound that bad. Maybe I will head to the beach and learn to surf.

Put a bit on red for me. But if you start writing me for money, you ain’t getting a cent.

Your friend,

June 25th

Dear AJ,

That’s it! There’s the solution to both of your problems. Wrestle the gators! You just call one of them out, beat it in a fight, and then scare away the rest! It was the highlight of Daring Do and the Raiders of the Lost Macguffin. Once this lazy farmhoof of yours sees your awesome gator-slaying abilities, he’ll have no choice but to listen to you.

Twilight’s right. I am smart sometimes.

You still gotta learn how to surf too. In fact, I’m gonna give you a checklist of things to do while you’re out there. Then at least one of us will be having some fun (oh yeah, have I mentioned my job and this town totally suck? Because they do!).

1. Wrestle the gators to prove your dominance
2. Learn to surf
3. Go out into the ocean and scream ‘Shark!’ (it’ll be hysterical, trust me)
4. Find a beautiful mare drowning in the ocean. Swim out, save her, get lucky (I mean, you are at the beach. It’s basically the law that you have to find a summer lovin’)

Anyway, back to me, not everything is so terrible. My first day of actual teaching was a little better than I expected. I showed the kids some of my tricks and they got really hyped (as they should be), it just sucks I can’t really get to teach them anything with this being just a four days-a-week day camp. *sigh*

Still, it’s not all terrible. I got to know my boss a little better. His name’s Booster. He’s an earth pony who’s gotta be the most muscular pony I’ve ever laid eyes on (except for that Snowflake guy, but that dude’s on something. Booster's muscles look pretty natural). Think your brother, only leaner and faster. The dude's a boxer, how awesome is that?

So yeah, Booster and I ate lunch together in the cafeteria. I was glad to find out that he's just as mad at the state of things as I am. He told it to me like it was.

Today's parents aren't like ours, AJ. Things have changed. All these parents now are reading all these books, but unlike eggheads like Twilight, they can't seem to filter out the garbage that's in them. Now, everything's gotta be about keeping the kids as safe and protected as possible. They're stealing childhoods is what they're doing.

What's worse is that these parents are also too lazy to do this damage by their own hooves. So they take perfectly awesome experiences like Flight Camp and turn them into these little babysitting centers so that they don’t actually have to do any work in ruining their kids.

I’ll put money down that this farmhoof of yours was one of the first of these kids (my first gamble in Las Pegasus).

So yeah, let me know when you kill that gator (and stick to that checklist! In fact, I’m gonna send a copy to Twilight so that she can keep tabs on you. She’s good at that stuff).

Your home-girl,

Rainbow Dash.

P.S.- Whatever happens in the future, promise me you’ll never sell Sweet Apple Acres to make way for a Box-Mart. Those places are evil.

June 26

Dear Rainbow Dash,

First, if I ever sell Sweet Apple Acres, that’s the day you hogtie me and leave me for the timber wolves, if Mac ain’t already done me the mercy.

Next, I’m seeing a few problems with your checklist there. Namely, you lost your everloving mind.

Surfing I can do. I ain’t as keen on wrestling gators, though. I’m kinda used to having all four of my hooves. But know what? You’re welcome to come down here anytime and give it a go! You got two extra limbs anyway, so I’ll give you a head start.

Causing a stampede at the beach ain’t my idea of a good time, neither. I don’t need to spend my day off wrangling panicky ponies.

As to the last one... I don’t get lucky, sugarcube, I make other ponies lucky. And if I decide to make a pony lucky, it’ll be for a darn better reason than she forgot to learn to swim.

Now, for the less crazy part of your letter, I’m glad to hear the foals like you, even if the job’s a pain. I’m sure you’ll find a way to whip them into shape ~~and still play by the rules.~~ Know what, never mind that part. Just don’t get in too much trouble. Of course, I reckon a lotta great country songs have been written sitting in a Las Pegasus jail...

Least you know a pony to bail you out. Booster, huh? I didn’t know you were into [span]sta[/span] ponies like that. Sounds like a nice fella, if you’re into that sorta thing, maybe you’ll be the one getting lucky.

Anyhow, I guess I don’t really feel like writing more about my day, but tomorrow I’m gonna try surfing. That oughta be fun, I mean, I figure if I can ride a bull I oughta be able to stand on a plank, right? I bet I get a wave my first try! Of course, any times I fall off don’t count (I learned that one from this pegasus I know.)

To be honest, just having a day to have fun will be nice. I’ve only been to the ocean a time or two in my life, so it’s kinda more exciting than just relaxing around the farm or laying by a lake. I reckon I’ll leave my hat at home, wouldn’t wanna lose it when I’m surfing. I bet I have a load of freckles by the time you see me!

Writing you made me feel better, Dash. Things might not be going so great, but getting to mess around some, even if it’s just writing, really took a load off. I’ll write you again real soon, and let you know how the surfing went.

Maybe I’ll write this Booster fella too, and let him know about that sad case of crazy you find yourself with from time to time...

Your friend,

Applejack

June 26th

Dear AJ,

Oh, I see how it is. You meet a sporty tomcolt, and then you’re totally shocked to find that she’s into stallions.

...I don’t blame you, and to be fair, your assumption was kind of true. I like mares and stallions.

You see, to me, it doesn’t matter what somepony’s packing down there (once you’re with a griffon, there’s no more lines), it’s what’s on the inside that counts; like how awesome they are, and/or sexual prowess. You know, the important things.

But yeah, right now, I just want a friend. I’m not gonna lie, I really miss you guys. I wasn’t that happy until I got letters from you and Twilight yesterday. It was Twilight’s letter especially that got me back at one hundred and twenty percent.

While we’re on the subject of letters, here’s what I have to say about what you just wrote to me.

You think I’m crazy? You’re crazy!

Here I am, offering a practical solution to both your gator and your lazy farmhoof problem, and all I get is the accusation that I’ve lost my mind!

Let me tell you something, AJ. There’s ponies who are doers, and there’s ponies who sit around and complaining about not knowing what to do...ers.

Last time I checked, you’re a doer.

Seriously, AJ. I’m not joking around when I say this. You’re the bravest pony I know. I get that fighting a gator seems like a scary task or whatever, but you gotta think about what we’ve done before. Think about all of those freaky changelings you and I singlehoofedly beat up! Think about that pack of timberwolves you scared away. Think about Discord. Think about Nightmare Moon. Think about Sombra. I can go all day if I have to.

My point is, when you think about all that, you see that a measly pack of alligators is nothing compared to what we’ve been through. We got through all of that because you were there to be one of the strong ones when the others couldn’t. That’s all you, AJ. The fact that you’re you is why everypony depends on you, and that’s why we believe in you to do good out of everypony else.

...So with that said, quit being such a pansy, and beat up that damn gator! You’ll be killing two birds with one stone. Trust me.

Anyway, I had a better day of teaching. I got to gauge the wingspeed for these kids with one of those fancy meters that Twilight used. Their average speed is better than what I expected for such overprotected foals. It’s not much, but hey, they’re just starting out. I think I have something to work with.

Also, I’m glad to see that you’re at least taking my advice on something with the surfing. I really wish I was there with you. If you ask me, an Iron Surfer competition would go down in legend.

Stay cool, AJ.

Your friend,

Rainbow Dash.

June 27th

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You’re right about the gator, as far as you thought. I could take a gator, probably. So could you. We’re tough as horseshoes, both of us.

The difference is that those things you said, Discord and changelings and the like, we had to fight them. They were trying to hurt us, they were trying to hurt our friends... I can promise you, if that gator went after a pony I’d stomp his tail to Tartarus.

And if I lost a hoof protecting a pony, you better believe I’d be proud of it. Something like that is just a badge that shows the world you’re a pony who’ll do whatever it takes for what’s right. But risking getting hurt to show how brave you are ain’t the same thing at all. What’s important is why you’re brave, not that you are.

That’s what makes this thing so hard. The gator’s just sitting there. It’s like when we were having dinner with Discord-- you feel like a pony oughta do something, but if you start something and get your tail handed to you, you’re gonna feel right stupid because you started it.

So, if you think I gotta wrestle a gator to prove to somepony that I’m tough or brave... you’re crazy, sugarcube. Once you're brave as we are, you save it for what counts.

That’s a no on the gator wrestling, by the way.

Now, it’s only fair to give you credit, surfing was a great idea. Mostly. We’ll get to that.

So, I walked down the town, then through town to the beach. This town is fancy, Dash. Think Canterlot on vacation. Think lots of unicorns in hats and sunglasses, and lots of shops that sell hat and sunglasses. And them sunglasses ain’t cheap, neither. I looked at one of those shops, and they wanted 100 bits for a pair! They said they were Neighbands or something. I told them I ain’t spending 100 bits on nothing that can’t plow a field, and the fella just looked kind of snooty at me. So, I don’t got sunglasses.

But I did make my way to the beach, and things were better there. There were a whole lot of friendly ponies having fun, so I found a group learning to surf.

This pegasus was teaching us, named Windrush. She said she took up surfing when she hurt her wing a while back, and she said surfing is easier when you don’t use wings. Apparently, with all the ocean winds, wings’ll start pulling you off balance and a pegasus will end up flying and losing their board, which ain’t as much fun. I know the pegasi in my group sure had a hard time keeping their wings tucked in when they started losing their balance.

I’ll admit, I spent my share of the time in the water instead of on the surfboard. Once you stand up it ain’t that hard, but getting to your hooves is kinda a trick. But by the end of the day, I was catching some waves, and it’s awful fun. We oughta get to a beach together sometime, so I can show you how. (I'll tie up your wings so you learn right.)

After a while I made my way outta the water, and took out my ribbons to let my mane and tail dry out. Suddenly, there were three stallions right there asking to carry my surfboard, and if I wanted a soda or lunch or something. I didn’t know quite what to say, it was awful sweet, they really made me think of Winona when she wants to play. But they were barking up the wrong tree, of course. You can say what you like about personality, but for me that awesome personality better be attached to nice little mare. So of course I thanked them, but carried my board myself.

I did a little more surfing that afternoon, and wrapped up around dinner time. I figured I’d find a place in town to get a bite. I wandered around for a while, there were lots of cafes and restaurants, but no place that seemed... friendly. I realized I was looking for someplace that looked like Ponyville, and I started getting real homesick. It reminded me of being in Manehattan when I was a filly.

Things were a little better when I got back to the farm. At least there I know what I’m doing, and I don’t feel so out of place with the farmhooves (most of them.) Maybe I oughta find out where they go on their days off, it’s probably more my kind of place... well, as much as anyplace outside of Ponyville could be.

It’s late. I gotta get to bed. Write back soon.

Your friend,

PS: You better write back to Pinkie before the pony has a heart attack. You know how she is about letters.

June 2nd

Dear AJ,

You’re a pansy. ‘Nuff said.

Anyway, if that place is Canterlot on vacation, then Las Pegasus is Canterlot on a drinking binge with a couple of infections. Aside from the glitzy hotels and the suburbs, the city is a really grimy and disgusting place. By some miracle, the cleanest ponies are the call-girls.

Oh man, I just got the best idea! So, I got a letter from Twilight, and she got so flustered on the topic of hot mares (who, you might ask? Nopony in particular). Even though it was just in letter form, I could totally tell that she was getting nervous and flustered.

Needless to say, it was pretty darn adorable.

But yeah, at some point, Twilight’s gonna come swing by Las Pegasus, so my plan is to take her to all the saucy showgirls shows and then afterward, pretend to get her a call-girl. She’ll probably crack by the end of the night, but it’ll be worth it. Hah!

You gotta make yourself laugh sometimes, you know?

Anyway, as for those sunglasses, thanks for reminding me that I need a new pair of Neighbands. I realize you think they’re unnecessary or whatever, but whenever you’re interested in being awesome, yearly pairs of Neighbands are essential.

Cool story on the surfing, by the way. If I wasn’t busy with stuff out here, I’d totally swing by and show you my skills. I mean, I’ve never surfed before, but come on, it’s me. I conquered you in that race, I can conquer surfing (also, I realize you just rolled your eyes just there and are planning to lecture me in your reply, so just spare me, kay?).

Also, I can’t believe you gave those colts a free show. You, soaking wet with your hair down, and I’m deprived of that. What a jip!

Ehh, at the very least, you’re only there to tease them and not please them. Amirite?

But seriously, I’m glad that you’re at least doing something on that checklist. You really needed a break from all that gator and lazy farmhoof stuff. How’re those going by the way? Please don’t tell me you were able to solve them through friendship or singing or whatever. That’s so uncool, that it becomes cool only then to fall out of style and become uncool again.

Work’s going good. I’m starting to learn the kids’ names, and they really seem to be catching on to what I can teach them. At the very least, they’ll be able to stay in the air by the time this camp’s over. So that’s all well and good, I guess.

I also asked my boss Booster for some boxing lessons, and he said yes! They start on Friday, so I’m pretty pumped for that. First thing Imma do when we get back to Ponyville is challenge somepony to a bout in the ring (think you or your brother would be up for that, or are you too chicken?).

So overall, things are getting better around here. Hopefully, they are for you too.

Keep it cool,

Rainbow Dash.

July 3rd

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Call girls are the cleanest ponies in town, huh? I didn’t know you were that hard up, or I woulda sent a picture of me coming up from surfing to help you out. That’s the difference between you and me, sugarcube. You need hundred bit sunglasses to look awesome, I just gotta pull out some ribbons.

Of course, I’m talking about other ponies there. I always thought you looked plenty good, and I never knew how much your sunglasses cost. Must be nice to have that kind cash laying around, a lotta ponies got families to support, or are stuck slaving away like them ponies in that city you’re in. I always figured you could show a pony how to be awesome without a hundred bits to spend on silly stuff... maybe you oughta think on it? It might be nice to set an example, while you’re there. I got faith that there’s more to you being awesome than some overpriced plastic. But what do I know about being awesome?

On the subject of me not being awesome, it turns out that on top of saving Equestria from beings of evil and chaos, turning unicorns into Princesses, and generally saving your tail every few weeks, that “totally uncool” power of friendship did take care of my little gator problem (with help from a song Pinkie sent.) Of course, this means I’m stuck with a friend who happens to be a great big gator with a mouth full of sharp teeth... I can see how you’d think I was kinda a wimp if I came strolling up with old Toothy next to me, but try not to be too embarrassed.

I’m real glad you’re gonna try boxing. As much as I’d love to give it a go in the ring with you, you and Mac is a fight I’d pay to see. He did a bit of boxing back in school, and I gotta say that “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” stuff don’t work so good against a freight train. Once we see how that turns out, you can try it with a pony in your own weight class.

Dash, all kidding aside, I’m kinda worried about you. I think something’s bothering you. You’re awful antsy these days, picking at me and Twilight, trying to toss me into all manner of things, not to mention that you seem to be thinking an awful lot about what me and Twilight need beneath our tails... you’re trying not to talk about something. What is it, Dash? I’m your best friend, even if we pick at each other. Pinkie helped me take care of one of my problems ‘cause I told her all about it. Maybe I can help you.

Well, either way a visit from Twilight oughta do you good, even if you’re getting up to foolishness. Personally, I’d rather spend time enjoying having a friend around, since we ain’t seen each other in so long, but if you wanna play a prank I guess that’s up to you.

I’m glad you’re doing good on teaching those kids. I bet they’re gonna look up to you like Scootaloo does, by the time you’re done. You know Apple Bloom wrote me that Scootaloo’s been trying to save up bits to come and visit you? She’s making deliveries for the Cakes on her scooter, and made 7 bits so far this summer. I doubt she’s gonna make it to Las Pegasus at that rate, but I think it’s sweet that she’s trying, and there’s worse things for a girl to do than save some money.

Anyhow, I’m writing this on the beach between surfing, and the waves been calling my name long enough. I’ll drop this in the mailbox on my way home. You take care, sugarcube.

Your friend,

July 4th

Dear AJ,

Hold up now. I can take care of myself fine and dandy. I don’t need a call-girl to get it out of my system. Besides, I can’t even afford a quality one in this town, since I’m spending everything on food that actually comes from the earth.

Also, have you even tried Neighbands? Once you go for the black shade, there’s no going back... maid-en.

I was not destined to be a poet.

Onto the main point, yeesh, what’s up with you? All I did was try to liven up your summer with some awesome stuff for you to do and crack a few jokes about the needs every mare has, and suddenly, you think there’s something wrong with me.

Look, AJ, I know that all of this is just out of concern and stuff, but let me tell you, I’m fine. I just get bored from time to time around here and I just really miss joking around with you guys.

I miss sleeping in your trees. I miss going on pranking sprees with Pinkie. I miss talking about the latest Daring Do with Twilight. I miss performing my latest stunts for Fluttershy.

Jeez, I even miss doing all that ridiculous modeling for Rarity’s dresses... what have I become!?

I miss all of that. Things are getting easier for me, but at the end of the day, all I think about is you guys and what you’re doing. I wanna know how everyone’s doing. Which reminds me, has Rarity sent you any letters? I wrote to her over a week ago and haven’t gotten anything in response. Either she’s completely stuck-up or she’s just busy (as a show of good faith, I’m just gonna roll with the second one).

But yeah, once this job’s over, I’m high-tailing it back to Ponyville to see everyone again.

I’m really, really bad at namby-pamby emotions, but if I can do it for Twilight, I guess I can suck it up and do it for you.

I love you guys. The friendship we all share is everything to me. I’m not trading it for anything. No fame, no Wonderbolts, nothing.

So in short: I’m just messing with you guys, chillax, I’ll tell you if I’m really having a problem.

Anyway, about the kids loving me, you’re not kidding. There’s this one colt named Bee Sting (awesome name, so I know his parents are somewhat decent ponies, unlike the rest), who was following me around today asking me if I needed anything from him.

I, of course, didn’t mind the attention. It was really kind of cute, actually. I’m thinking he has a crush on me. Don’t worry, he’s a foal, so it’s not going to turn into anything bad.

It’s also nothing like what Spike’s got for Rarity (he’s not drooling over me, thank Celestia), he’s just really happy to see me and stuff like that, a lot like Scootaloo. It’s kind of like what I used to have for ponies I really looked up to when I was a filly. You don’t even realize that you have a crush, but you still wanna be around that pony 24/7 and can’t explain why. You’ve had one of those, right?

Anyway, about Scootaloo, just let her keep at it. I can’t outright tell her ‘no, you can’t come to Las Pegasus’, and it’s not like she’s gonna make it anyway.

The actual city is not a place for kids, AJ. Like I said, the prostitutes are the cleanest thing about it. So grimy.

Anyway, write back when you’re not such a namby-pamby worrier.

Peace,

Rainbow.

P.S.- Mystery solved, Twilight's got the hots for sporty mares. Was there ever a doubt?

July 6th.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Why are you spending so much on food? You can let me know when you write back, and for now here’s a box of oranges to hold you over. Let me know if you need more, and I’ll write for Mac to send you some apples and vegetables from the farm right away. You know no friend of mine is gonna go hungry. If there’s one thing I can do for a pony, it’s feed them. Don’t worry about the shipping, you can give me a hoof around the farm sometime when we get home.

And, if you say you’re okay, I guess I’ll just let it go. I still don’t understand why my and Twilight’s private lives are suddenly fascinating to you, but I reckon it ain’t hurting nopony.

I guess I understand about missing ponies. It makes me sad, y’all not being around, and real nervous too. I like to be there for ponies... not up in their business, usually, but knowing that if they need me, I’m there. You could look at it like a cowpony riding herd, but my herd is Ponyville, and my family and friends. Now I just get a letter and wonder if y’all really need me, but I can’t see it in the words. So I reckon you gotta put up with me worrying for a few months more.

Now, let’s have a bit of turnabout here. I heard from Braeburn, and I mentioned you were out west there. He says there’s a place the buffalo talk about, not far from Las Pegasus. It’s a canyon, like Ghastly Gorge, but a hundred times the size, and there’re all these passages cut in the ground. The buffalo say it’s a sight to see, and a real neat hike. I bet it’s even more awesome from the air. I thought you might wanna check it out one day.

But take some water this time, just to save a friend some worry?

I did some more surfing the other day, and it was a great time. Watching all that water crashing around you while you’re speeding through it... that’ll get your heart thumping, and no mistake. I do have those extra freckles, though, they’re sprinkled across my muzzle where my hat usually keeps the sun off. My mane’s a mess, too, Rarity would pitch a fit if she could see it, but I think you’d call it awesome... the sun’s got it streaked with lighter blond and the salt and wind is making the ends kinda spikey. I got a feeling next time I see her, I’m getting dragged to the spa whether I want it or not, so let’s hope I see you first. Even better, I’ll get Windrush to snap a few pictures of me on my board. I’ll send ‘em next time.

And of course I had a crush like that. One of the weather ponies in town, back when I was a filly. She’s the one who taught me to lasso, you know, she used to move the clouds with a rope. I wanted to be just like her, and anytime she was working over the farm I’d trot along under her like a shadow. I was heartbroken when she left town... but I’ll always have the things she taught me. You teach those foals good, Dash.

Anyhow, I can’t wait to hear about that canyon, and don’t forget to tell me about this food problem you're having. I wanna do what I can for you.

Your friend,

PS: I heard from Rarity right after I got here, but not much since. I'm thinking I'll write her again soon.

July 9th

Dear AJ,

Hey, thanks for the oranges! They’re too awesome!

Okay, so I should probably explain why I’m spending a lot on food. See, fresh food is hard to come by out in these parts, so instead, most ponies eat this disgusting, magically-processed garbage that’s just awful for you. There’s a store in the suburbs that sells real food, but the prices are ridiculous.

Thanks to these oranges, I don’t have to try my luck at the casinos... who am I kidding? I’m still probably gonna do that anyway. With my own money next time.

Oh yeah, I should probably explain that too. So on Friday, I had my first boxing lesson with Booster. He taught me just a few basic stances to start, but then we actually let me practice in the ring. He didn’t go easy on me because I was a mare, either... instead, he went easy on me because it was my first lesson. The dude’s really freaking strong and built like there’s no tomorrow, so even on easy mode, he was whooping me. It also doesn’t help that I’m a pegasus, because my bones are so hollow. Either way, though, I was having a blast. It was nice to hang out with a real athlete again.

So anyway, we wrap up, and I figure ‘Hey, let’s keep this party going’, so I say we go out for a drink. We’re hitting up the strip and just drinking and eating all the cheap booze and food we can find. We stop at the casinos and Booster just blows everything in his wallet putting it on black (as I seem to remember, you told me to put it all on black). You know, I was kinda worried for a while that Booster was too much of a colt scout to be cool (what with all his dedication to the kids and whatnot), but thankfully, the dude knows how to party. We were walking by a fancy restaurant in the suburbs, and he actually gave the giant window a pressed ham! I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t breathe! We close out the night by just breaking bottles and playing chicken with shopping carts in this parking lot and I felt like I’m back at Junior Speedsters. Got me nostalgic, you know?

...You’re just rolling your eyes at all of this, aren’t you? Don’t lie, because even by letter, you suck at it.

So yeah, even though I had a repeat weekend of me sleeping off a bad hangover, I still had the time of my life. Needless to say, Booster and I are doing that again.

Hey, I’ll probably take us out to that canyon you wrote about. I did hear some stuff about it, but I hadn’t actually seen it (it was on the otherside of where I flew in from initially). Booster and I could do rock climbing or something, which I realize I haven’t done yet. Forget fixing the roof on town hall, what Ponyville needs is a rock climbing wall... and laser tag... and go-karts.

Anyway, before I forget, can you keep this whole story about me and Booster between us? It’s not like we’re dating or anything (he’s just a friend), but I don’t want anypony else to know because they’d react in ways I don’t want. Pinkie would probably throw a ‘New Sweethearts’ party (gag me), Rarity would probably mail me those lame mare’s magazines with the disgusting sex tips (double gag me), and Fluttershy would... okay, Fluttershy would probably just smile and say she’s very happy for me, so I’m not worried about that.

I am worried about Twilight, though. I think it’s pretty obvious that you two have been yakking to each other about my flirty jokes and whatnot. While you’ve been acting all unamused as you usually are (I sense another eyeroll), Twilight’s actually getting flustered and randy (all through my writing. I deserve a medal). I told her I’d stop, because I got the feeling she was legit getting uncomfortable.

But yeah, even though Booster and I are just friends, I don’t want Twilight to get the wrong idea. I know I’m gonna have to acknowledge it in the future, but not right now. It’d be like, ‘Hey, Twi, since you don’t like my flirting, I’m gonna run off with this hunky stallion and leave you in the dirt!’

I know it sounds stupid, but I gotta play my cards safe (which I know sounds insane coming from me). I don’t wanna have to deal with a bunch of stupid school-filly drama just because I made the wrong move at the wrong time.

Anyway, I know this is a lot of stuff to keep to yourself, but I trust you to do that. I can count on you for a lot of stuff, like this food for instance! I can’t tell you how glad I was when I saw these oranges, they’re so good!

But yeah, if you can get me actual stuff that grows in the ground, that’d be the best thing you ever did!

Well, I better get some sleep, I’ve got work in the morning. I gotta make sure to write to Twilight on my lunch break.

Stay cool,

Rainbow Dash

P.S.- Weather pony, huh? Well, you know what they say about old habits, right? *wink*wink*

P.P.S.- Another eyeroll, I know it.

July 11th

Dear Twilight,

I ain’t a bit drunk. Not a little. I had about... a lot of drinks tonight, but I still feel fiiine. I set aside some time to write you and Dash tonight, and even if I went out with the farmhooves and had a real good time, I still got time to get some letters to my friends.

So, I read your song again just now, and I started crying. Twilight, I miss you so much. I think I miss you more than the other girls. I just wanna take care of you, sugarcube, and I want you to make things make sense for me, and I wanna hug you. Boy, do I wanna hug you a lot. And I wanna nuzzle you, too. Your mane feels nice when I nuzzle you, all smooth and it smells all clean like nice soap. And your whole body’s all soft and curvy, specially those hips...

I like you, Twilight. See, I wrote it and I ain’t even drunk. And now you can read it and know that I ain’t drunk and I really like you, not like some other ponies who don’t like you as much as they let on ‘cause they just can’t see you’re a smart, amazing pony who deserves everything a pony can give and they can’t even think of really giving that to a pony. So that’s what’s wrong with that.

But that ain’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you, Twilight. You’re so smart and foolish, and I reckon I love that cause I’m kinda smart and foolish too. Like here I am probably drunk off my tail, writing a letter to a princess and telling her all I think of her, like that’s something she don’t know. But I read your letter and I can’t help it. I’m smart enough to know the best pony in the world when I see her, but dumb enough to send this.

Please write back, Twilight. You can tell me you don’t feel the same. Of course, I’d kinda rather you did feel the same. But I reckon I’m smart enough to know this is a long shot, and if that’s how I’m thinking in this state, there’s no way I could say all this sober.

~~Your fr~~
Love,
AJ

July 11th

Dear Dash,

~~I didn’t mean that~~

~~Don’t pay no mind~~

~~I’m sorry, Dash. That letter was~~

I was real, real drunk when I sent that letter. That ain’t what I meant to say.

Your friend,
AJ

July 11th,

Dear Applejack,

I've just read some letters. All I gotta say is that everything's a lot clearer now.

You are a cowardly bitch.

First of all, if you really liked Twilight, you should have just told me you were uncomfortable with my flirting. I'm your best friend, and yet you seem to think I can't process simple fucking requests.

Which brings me to my next point. It's clear now that you just don't respect me. You act so high and because you have a family and a farm and because you're so humble and reasonable. Meanwhile, I'm just this dumb, lazy idiot who's got crazy ideas and all this other shit you've been trying to say for years.

But you know what? I know I’m not smart, but at least I don’t have your unbelievable cowardice. Guess what? Twilight sent me the letter you wrote to her (the one addressed to me). You’re a scumbag, you realize that?

I get the feeling that you totally meant to send Twi that letter, to try and make her think I’m as horrible and manipulative as you and try and ‘win her’ or some shit. You have a habit of that, I hope you know that. You’re so cowardly and evasive, that you knock everypony else down so that you think they’re as low as you.

Guess what, bitch? We’re not in a competition. I wasn’t after Twilight, and I wasn’t after you either, and yet you’re so threatened by me that you had to go for such a low blow.

You don’t deserve Twilight. Twilight sees a lot more in me than somepony like you does. Why? Because she’s that great of a pony. She respects me and accepts me for what I am, whereas you always find something to nitpick, something to roll your eyes at, something to use as an excuse to make me feel small.

Twilight doesn’t need that. None of our friends need that. We don’t need you.

Fuck off,

Rainbow Dash

P.S.- I’m not gonna send Twi that letter you wrote her, because I wanna see how long your amazing streak of cowardice can last. This shit has won over Dodge Junction as your greatest failure.

July 11th

Dear Rainbow Dash,

If you never read this, I understand. If you never write back, I understand that too. But there’s a few last things I gotta say.

I’m sorry, Dash. I acted a right fool. I was good and drunk, and I read the last letters I had from you and Twilight, and I thought I saw it all right there in front of me, everything that’s been bothering me: I liked Twilight and she liked you and you weren’t treating her right. Everything made sense, the whole story added up.

The truth is, I was wrong. It didn’t add up, and I knew that in the morning the same way I knew it the morning before. That’s why I never told you before, because it wasn’t right.

For one thing, I don’t know how I feel about Twilight. I like her, she makes me feel... sure. I like things that made me feel sure, I always have. I left Manehattan as a filly, ‘cause I never did feel sure there. My farm, my family, and my friends... those are the things I know. But whatever I ain’t sure of, Twilight is.

But, how do I know that’s love? Twilight.. she’s a princess. I reckon I’d feel sure hanging around Princess Celestia too, but I don’t think I’m in love with her. Then there’s the matter of this coming up when I’m all the way across Equestria. I mean, we both know Twilight ain’t perfect, but it’s a lot easier to deal with panicky Twilight when you’re writing a letter than when she’s darting all over the library like a greased pig.

I ain’t saying I don’t like Twilight, or that I do. I’m just trying to explain why I never said nothing. I don’t know. But all that liquor made me forget I don’t know, it made me forget all those reasons I’ve been trying to work out, so I sent Twilight that letter. Or, I tried to.

Then, on top of all that, my best friend was flirting with her. I know you said it was a joke, but everything you been saying to me’s had a nudge and a wink, and I been trying to figure where you stood. If Twilight’s been making me feel sure, talking to you’s been the opposite. I never know what’s the joke and what ain’t, I can’t figure if you’re laughing with me or at me. And I can’t figure when you’re getting into trouble or just having fun.

Then, last night, I was sure all of a sudden. Sure you’d been laughing at Twilight, and thinking I thought it was funny too. So, I just wrote you that letter. I was wrong, Dash. I know that now. I still don’t know how to feel about what you were talking about, but I know I got it wrong.

But I swear, on the Elements of Harmony, that I did not mix up them letters on purpose. It’s the second most embarrassing thing that’s happened in my life. The first is that I wrote them.

So, that’s that. I’m sorry. I was wrong, and foolish. While I don’t know that all the things you called me are true, you sure got a right to be angry enough to say ‘em. And you got a right to never write back to me.

Your friend,

Applejack

July 11th

(hey, sorry if this isn’t the best written or doesn’t make much sense, i’m kinda tipsy)

Damnit AJ,

You should’ve just said that you hated me back and never talk to me again, but no, you take the high road. Now I feel like shit ‘cause I said what I shouldn’tve.

I’m sorry, AJ. I’m really, really sorry.

I was just so angry, that I just fucked up and almost threw everything away, and it’s all because I fucking suck at flirting and shit.

It’s fitting that this is all my fault. You know, I was railing on you for acting high and mighty all the time, but you know what, you have the right, because unlike me, you’ve got your shit together.

I dunno how I feel about Twi, either. I dunno how I feel about anything, really.

I spent the whole day thinking, and I realize I don’t even remember why I took this job. I dunno what I’m doing.

I’m going nowhere in life, AJ. I got no family and no plans for the future... the Wonderbolts are never gonna take me, and not Twilight, not you, not anypony’s gonna want me. Why? Because I fuck everything up.

I can’t tell how a pony feels without having them shaking me and telling me straight up.
I can’t be a hero without the fame going to my head.
I can’t tell a joke and be flirty without starting a bunch of drama.
I can’t even do something that would make my dad proud.

...Did you know I used to sing a little bit? My dad and his friends would play music and I’d hum along and stuff to it. We recorded some stuff...

I didn’t ever say to him that I liked it, but he kept telling me I was good. I ignored him, I didn’t appreciate him or love him enough.

I wasn’t there when he died. I was with Gilda... somewhere. You can go ahead and add that to my list of fuckups.

Damnit, I’m pathetic when I drink.

I know what you mean about Twi, by the way. Like... I’m don’t feel weak around her, I’m comfortable around her. I can tell her just about anything.

When I first got to town, I was in the same shittiness I’m in right now, and Twilight pulled me out of it just from her encouragement and stuff. No other pony does that.

...I dunno how I feel about her. I’m prolly more unsure than you are.

Go after her if you want... just please don’t lie to her about me. Please, I can’t lose her.

I can’t lose you either. I can’t lose any of you. You girls are my only non-fuckup.

Ugh, I’m sleepy...

July 12th

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I dunno how much of that you’re gonna wish you hadn’t said when you sober up, so say the word and I never saw any of it.

But, I sure am glad you wrote me. You don’t gotta apologize, just so you’ll take mine.

I didn’t even know how scared I was that you wouldn’t write back, until I saw your letter. I was walking around all last night, slamming doors and telling myself that if you never talked to me again, that was just what I deserved. And maybe it is what I deserve, and maybe when you sober up, you’ll realize that. But for right now, I’m just grateful.

I ain’t gonna mention much about your letter, in case you’re regretting it already, but I will tell ya’ some things.

I do have my shit together, Dash. I had it together since I was ‘bout ten years old. I had a choice, I could keep it together or watch my world fall apart. There’s never been a pony to pick up after me, who I could whine at that I wanted to sleep in today, or who’d tell me a hundred times to do a chore. I never even had a curfew. What I had was a farm, and a little baby foal, and a town full of ponies who always looked to Sweet Apple Acres first. It was a heavy load for some small shoulders, but I took it on, and for years there wasn’t room for me trip or fall.

I never told nopony this before, but I don’t know that I made the right choice. Maybe we shoulda sent Apple Bloom to stay with the Seeds. They offered to take her, ya’ know. Didn’t think me and Mac and Granny could do it. And Red Delicious and his family said they’d buy Sweet Apple Acres. They said we could stay there, then when me and Mac were old enough we’d have all that money to start our own farms. I can’t imagine life without my family on Sweet Apple Acres, but maybe...

I seen you crash, sugarcube. A lot. And I don’t just mean flying. But I seen you get back up too. You let it roll off your back, and you pop back up bright and ready to start again. I wish I knew how to crash like you. Seems like I don’t fall down often, but when I do I can’t figure how to get back up. Even now, where Apple Bloom is older, and I got you girls to help me, I can’t help feeling like the only way I can keep it all together is to not let myself mess up. I’m a coward, Dash, you were right all along. I just can’t let anypony know it, or they’ll take everything away from me.

I wish you could teach me to crash.

Can I tell you a secret? I used to say I wished I was there, when my folks passed on, cause I woulda done this or that to save ‘em. I used to tell Mac that, every time I thought about them. Then, as I got older, I realized there was nothing I coulda done to save them, being a filly and all, and I stopped wishing I woulda been there. The idea of seeing my folks one last time, of getting to really say goodbye, wasn’t worth it if it meant I woulda failed at something that important. Better I was far away, where I couldn’t blame myself. What kind of pony does that make me, Dash?

I know you probably didn’t mean to send that letter, sugarcube. But I shoulda sent this one, or told you myself, a long time ago. But I’m telling you now, and I’m stone sober: I’m jealous of you, Rainbow Dash. You know how to live a way I’m scared to try.

Your friend,

Applejack

July 12th

Dear AJ,

I’m sober right now, so I might make a little more sense. I just want you to know that I said everything I wanted, although I probably wouldn’t have said most of it without a 40.

I’m just so, so sorry. I know you don’t think you deserve an apology, but I was way out of line. I was so caught up in my anger, that I almost threw our whole friendship away. The girls would've never forgiven me, and I never would've forgiven myself.

I’m just gonna mention what you mentioned in your last letter, because whatever you have between Twilight is your business and none of mine.

I can’t believe you actually think my bullshit is true. You’re not a coward, AJ. A coward would have did the opposite of what you did as a filly. Even at ten years old, you were a stronger pony than I’ll ever be.

...But still, you’re right. I understand why you think you can’t crash. We set you up that way.

AJ, you do so much amazing things for everypony without a second thought. You’re so awesome like that, but you’re still a pony. There are times when you have no choice but to make a mistake or just crash and burn, but you can’t seem to. That’s our fault AJ. I and everypony else think that it’s just impossible for you to fail. We’re being so stupid.

We failed you, AJ. I failed you.

But I wanna make up for it starting now. You said you wanted to learn how to crash? Here’s how:

Crash into me. Everytime you fuck up or you feel weak or like a coward, you just run to me and tell me all about it. Let it all out. I won’t think any less of you, because I know for a fact what you are.

You’re a pony who’s better than me and always will be.

Don’t try and say I’m wrong, because I know I’m right. I’m a screwup, AJ, and it’s like no matter what I do, I’m just gonna keep screwing up.

I wrote a letter to Twilight a few weeks ago, and I remember what it was about too. She was complaining about how much she hated being on her tour, so I was trying to help her out and let her know that it wasn’t so bad. I told her that what she was doing, going on tour, going place to place and never staying grounded, sounded like the life to me.

I’ve had that mentality my whole life, and that’s why I can’t figure anything out.

I have no roots, AJ. I have no home. I have no one who depends on me like you do. I talk big about being loyal and all that shit, but I’ve always thought of Ponyville as a job; as a temporary stop. I’ve never been able to take the time and think what I really want. I’m always just thinking ‘go’ without the where or why.

Where’s my next stop? What do I really want? Well, I always thought the Wonderbolts, but fuck it, that’s just me running into a cycle again. I’ll just end up leaving you guys and never calling anyplace home.

I don’t know what I want, AJ. I don’t know about anything...

...did I tell you what happened at work yesterday? I might’ve forgotten to mention it because of all the drama that’s been going on. Since I’ve got your attention, I might as well end on a high note.

Beesting got into the air. He flew, AJ. It was so awesome. I didn’t think I’d be able to get any kid into the air, but he did it all himself.

I felt so proud, AJ. When he got back onto the ground, I tackled him to the ground in a hug. He was blushing so hard, I thought he was gonna set on fire, but I didn’t even care because I was too lost in the moment.

After that, I got your and Twi’s letters... I’m now mad at myself that I let that shit spoil the awesome feeling I was having, but at the same time, I’m glad the feeling’s back.

So yeah, that happened, and it’s something I don’t have to add to my list of fuckups.

Write back soon, AJ.

Your best friend,

Rainbow Dash.

July 13th

Dear Dash,

First, please don’t go on like all that. I mean, I never do mind hearing “job well done,” but I don’t reckon I ever raised the sun or moon.

Anyhow, hearing about that foal makes me awful happy. I mean, earth ponies don’t really have nothing like that, but I know how important it can be for a pegasus. And I gotta say, you say he did it all on his own, but I don’t think you give yourself enough credit there.

You know, I get on you sometimes for how puffed up you can act, but... it’s special. Maybe I can do some good for ponies, but there’s something about you that catches a pony’s eye and makes them wanna do good for themselves. I’ve seen how you lead the weather team, and goodness knows I’ve listened to Scootaloo run on. I’ve even felt it myself, sugarcube. That might be why we got up to all that foolishness in the running of the leaves, you even make me wanna push myself extra when there’s nothing left to push. I guess it can lead to trouble from time to time, but that same thing inside of you can make a pony aim for the moon. You’re a special pony, Rainbow Dash, and I bet Beesting sees some of that himself.

And something like that belongs where everypony can see it. You said you’re thinking about not going out for The Wonderbolts, but I think that’d be a shame. I see where you’re coming from, believe me, I’m a pony who’s spent her whole life in one place. I don’t know that I could float around like you do. But the Wonderbolts ain’t just floating, Dash, it’s doing something important. It’s helping Equestria, and giving a hundred thousand little fillies and colts like Scootaloo and Beesting a pony they can look up to. I can’t think of a better pony for that job, and it’d be a waste if you never got that chance.

And as for someplace to call home...I can promise you that no matter how far away you go, Sweet Apple Acres is staying in the same spot, and anytime you need it you can call it home. It’s still my home, even if I’m halfway across Equestria right now, so I reckon you can think the same way. I figure it’s only right, since all my apple trees got your flank worn into the branches (and I wouldn’t have it any other way.)

I can’t wait to see you and Twilight again, but I gotta admit, I’m real scared. I think I got things messed up bad, worse than you guys know. I mean, I did in a dream, but when I’m supposed to be figuring stuff out, and I can’t stop thinking about it... oh hay, I dunno. You said to talk to you when I’m feeling weak, and I reckon I’m gonna drive myself crazy if I don’t talk to somepony.

I had this dream. I was waiting on Twilight at a train station, and we were gonna talk about how we felt, and try and get that worked out. And while I was waiting on her, this other pony, a pony I know, came up and started doing things to me. Good things! But, things a pony hadn’t oughta do in a train station with other ponies around (if ya’ catch my meaning.) And I knew I was messing things up with Twilight, and I knew I was being foolish and ruining my reputation, but that pony made me not care about anything... and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

I dunno what this means, Dash. Here I darn near bit your head off cause I was thinking you were messing with Twilight’s feelings, and I’m dreaming about the same thing. I know I ain’t that kinda pony, but it felt so good, and every time I think of the other pony, I can’t help thinking about the dream. Does this mean I really want this other pony more than Twilight? Or, does being wrong really feel that good, that I’m dreaming of being a bad pony at night?

I know it’s just a dream, but it worries me... I don’t wanna hurt anypony, but sweet Celestia I wanna feel that good. That’s such an a low-down thing to say! Why am I thinking like this?

And of course, now I gotta sit down and talk to Twilight and... well, before this dream, I woulda loved the chance. Now I don’t even know what to say. Twilight is such a special pony, but I can’t work out how I feel without figuring on this other pony, and I can’t tell Twilight that. Or maybe I oughta.

I’m so confused and the only thing I know is I never been so excited and scared in my life as I am about seeing you girls.

You know, all this mess is making things here on the farm seem right sunny. Actually, I think I forgot to mention it in all this mess, I figured out what’s wrong with OJ. Now I just gotta work out how to fix it.

See, I think I mentioned I was in a bad mood when I thought you might not be talking to me, so I decided to bake myself a cake. I made a orange spice cake, and OJ came out of his room ‘round the time I was talking it outta the oven. I offered him some (cause it’s one thing to eat a whole darn cake yourself, but if another pony knows that’s what you meant to do that’s just kinda sad.) and I sat and ate a slice with him, and he asked me what’s wrong.

I told him I was having a fight with a friend, cause I did something stupid. Then he told me about how he’s been fighting with his friend. Seems that his cutie mark is in cooking, and him and a friend were gonna open a restaurant in Manehattan together. Then this came up, and he tried to convince his friend to come to Palomino Beach with him, but the friend wouldn’t come. They had a big fight, and they ain’t been speaking, and I think OJ kinda blames the whole farm for it.

I gotta admit, this is a tough one. Should I try and make things right with his friend, or try and show him the farm ain’t so bad in case his friend never comes around? I know I gotta get him cooking again, so I asked him to show me how to do an orange glaze for some squash tomorrow... I reckon I could figure it out, but this way he’ll be using his special talent and that oughta cheer him up some.

Boy, I think I been writing forever. I lost track of time, and now I gotta get out to the groves double-time, but you know I don’t regret it for a second. I’ll be writing back to Twilight this evening, just hoping I don’t put my hoof in my mouth for right now. And I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.

Your friend,

July 15th

Dear AJ,

I got an acceptance letter from the Wonderbolts the other day. I had this freaky wet dream and set that shit on fire.

...Okay, that sounds a bit too vague, so I should probably back up a bit.

So in this dream, I’m dying of dehydration in the desert... and then I start blowing my boss.

Yeah, my dreams kinda jump around like that.

So yeah, I’m giving Booster head, and it’s pretty good stuff. He blows his load on my face and then he’s gone. So is the spunk.

Then that spunk turns into pussy juice, and now there’s this mare sitting on my face. It was, uh... I mare I really care about (one I would never want to hurt).

But I ended up hurting her, because she then snuggles up to me, and that’s when the flames start. The horizon is on fire, and there’s a force that’s just dragging me in. I try to tell the mare to get off of me, but she won’t budge, says she wants to... go with me (I think, my memory’s not the best).

As the two of us are getting dragged in, I see all the girls waving me off. I see Booster, Scootaloo, Beesting... and my Dad.

And then I just burn, and then I wake up.

I was scared completely shitless, AJ. When I woke up, I took out the Wonderbolts letter and set it on fire.

I grounded myself, AJ, and you know what? I feel fine.

I feel better than fine, I feel great. Like, you said you wanted to crash? Well, this is what you would call a crash landing, but you know what? I’m better as a result.

I’ve found something to be proud of, AJ. Not just teaching the kids. It’s being with the rest of you girls in Ponyville. All that crap I was saying about not having a home and stuff was just totally wrong. You girls are my family, and Ponyville is my home, and I wanna do something that’ll keep me close to you guys. I’ve already asked Twilight if she could talk to Celestia about starting a flight school in Ponyville (there’s a lot more pegasus foals than you’d expect, and mares like Cloud Chaser and Blossomforth aren’t going to be single forever, so there’s more coming).

So that’s why I’ve grounded myself. If you can get your shit together at age ten, I can get it together at twenty. I’ve made an important choice, AJ, and I’m not looking back.

Speaking of Twilight, I’m really stoked to see you guys again. I get the feeling that the whole source of this drama has been distance. When we sit down and actually talk about... whatever the crap it is we’re feeling, then stuff’ll get figured out.

Not to mention, there’s so much cool stuff to do in Las Pegasus. Booster will probably let us use the gym after hours or something. Dude’s got all this hi-tech equipment that athletes in the Equestria Games use to train. We’ve just gotta check that out!

I know you’re probably nervous about what’s been going on between the three of us (BTW, about that dream... just don’t think too much about that. I’m sure whoever this new pony just a crazy brain-fart in your mind or something), but you’ll see that once we’re reunited, stuff will figure itself out. We know how to get stuff done, AJ. Keep your chin up.

See you soon,

Rainbow Dash.

P.S.- About OJ, I’d try to help him figure out what he really, truly wants to do with his life (for all we know, the restaurant could just be his own personal Wonderbolts. Don’t let him make those kinds discoveries through crazy sex-dreams. That’s coming from real world experience (haha).

July 28th

Dear AJ,

I’m in a routine now, and I’m okay with that.

What do I mean by a routine? I mean that there were no crazy changes in my life this week. No relationship troubles, no drastic choices in life that changed everything.

It was just a week. I went to work, I got all the kids flying, and I hung out with Booster.

It felt awesome.

My whole life, I’ve been dashing (heh, pun) around without any roots. I jump from place to place because I kept thinking that living on the run was the way to be happy. I lost things because of that; things like Dad.

I need to thank you for showing me how wrong I was.

I want you. I want you and Twilight to give my life a new purpose. I know that you can do that for me. I know you can keep me grounded.

I now see that even before all this drama, I didn’t know what my life was. I thought that my life was training for the Wonderbolts. I was really stupid for thinking that.

My life is trying to find the best tree at Sweet Apple Acres to take a nap in. My life is playing horseshoes with you and working to get a three-peat for once (the day will come). My life is coming up with the most awesome pranks with Pinkie Pie and finding the best targets. My life reading Daring Do with Twilight at the library. My life is figuring out the best ways to make her blush and get flustered (hehe). My life is making sure Fluttershy doesn’t give up on the world or herself without a fight. My life is arguing with Rarity over breakfast about how whether or not the idea of a ‘Fashion Week’ is stupid (spoiler: it totally is). Now, I’m hoping my life will also be about being the most awesome marefriend to you and Twilight, because that’s the least you two deserve.

All of that was part of a routine I didn’t even see before. It’s something I’m not fixing to change anytime soon.

...Anyway, sappy mush aside, how are things kicking with you? Is that OJ guy still being a whiny filly? If you ask me, if breaking down his emotional barriers hasn’t done anything at this point, you might wanna just call Pinkie over and annoy him until he really opens up.

Hey, it’s an effective strategy, is it not?

Anyhoot, let me know how that goes.

Lo Really, really like,

Rainbow Dash

July 29th

Dear Dash,

I been catching up on letters all evening, and finally I got to yours. I’m so glad you’re happy sugarcube. I guess I’m finally getting used to that. But if it makes you feel this good, I reckon it’s for the best after all.

As for me, I just gotta get down on my knees and kiss your hooves, thanking you for that sonic rainboom.

My Aunt and Uncle Orange are in town. Have been since I got back from Las Pegasus. And of course they drag me to all their fancy parties, ‘cause I’m their niece, and I’m a “close, personal friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Sometimes I think it’s more the second than the first, being as they say it every single time I meet a pony...

Aunt Orange: Have you met our dear Applejack? She’s a close, personal friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Fancy pony: Pleased to meet you, Applejack. So you’re friends with our dear young princess?

Me: Yup! Just had my muzzle under her tail last week.

Okay, so I don’t say that last part. But I think it every darn time. And I think of Twilight, of course, and how lucky we are. She’s a real live princess, Dash. These other ponies act like she’s Princess Luna or something. But she’s dating us.

Of course I think of you, too. More and more every day. Dash, wearing fancy dresses and going to boring parties... you know this ain’t me. And every time Aunt Orange tells me ‘bout another one, I wanna tell her I’m not going. But... she’s family. I gotta do it for my family. Sweet Celestia, I hope they leave soon, or I’m gonna--

I don’t even know what I’d do. Tell her I ain’t going? Tell her to go to hell? Tell her how much I really hate it all? She’s family, and I’d do anything for my family. I can’t let them down.

So anyhow, never mind all that, except to say you cross my mind all the time. Sometimes it feels like if you ain’t there, Twilight is (or the both of you together if I’m real lucky.) I think about how you can just say whatever you think and ponies just accept it. I wish I could borrow that for a bit, I feel like I could use it now. I think about how Twilight can just find something interesting in everything she does. I think about how both of you are so much fun together, like a couple of school foals teasing and flirting, and how much I'd love to have you both with me.

I miss you, Dash. An awful lot.

Love,

Applejack

PS: Wouldn’t you know, all this stuff with you and Twilight and my aunt and uncle almost made me forget something real important!

Okay, so I found out a while ago that the area around Palomino Beach has this deal with the weather factory... they get warm weather all year round (they never even do winter at all!) and in exchange they gotta take all the overstuffed or overcharged storm clouds. We had some real bad storms already, and the ponies here say it can get worse the closer we get to fall. Thunderstorms with winds strong enough to knock down houses, and flood the whole place!

Can that happen with overstuffed storm clouds? Is there anything I should do to get ready? They’re already talking about these coming up.

Love again, AJ

August 4th

Dear AJ,

Work killed me this week. I seriously don’t think I ever worked harder in my life.

Okay, so basically, now that all the kids were flying, I wanted to start showing them how to come up with tricks on their own (as well as showing them some of mine). It was like chipping a mountain. The kids were tumbling, crashing into each other, we’re really lucky that nopony got seriously injured (thankfully, Booster’s pretty good with a first aid kit).

So yeah, this whole teaching thing is a lot more stressful than I took it to be. Before all this, I mostly worried about pulling off the best trick or impressing the Wonderbolts. Now, I have the flying potential of all these kids in my hooves. I have a duty to them. I’m gonna have a duty to a lot more ponies than just myself from now on.

...Am I little too impulsive for my own good? I dunno why I’m asking this, but it’s just kind of on my mind. I can’t explain it...

Moving on.

You know, I never really think that much about Twilight being a princess, AJ. She’s certainly one of the most amazing and important ponies ever... but she’s still Twilight. She’s still that wonderful, awesome pony that... really likes us, and who we... really like as well. Just because she’s grown amazing sexy wings that you can’t keep out of you, it doesn’t mean she’s too good for you or me.

Oh yeah, I know about your thing for wings. I saw what you were doing with Twilight’s that night, you deviant filly.

Besides, you always need to remember that there’s a lot about you that makes me and Twi feel bad about ourselves; so much that makes us want you. You’re a lot better than you give yourself credit for. I’m just gonna be straight up and say that you’re pretty much my hero, AJ. Always remember that.

Also, I’m really sorry about you being stuck in all those froufrou parties. Lame is an inadequate description of your predicament (stupid Twi and her stupid fancy words).

I know you haven’t taken many of my suggestions, but I think you oughta just be a rebel and show up in your duds. If it’s a garden party, make it your garden party. What are your Aunt and Uncle gonna do? Fire you? Leave their orchard in the care of that lazy farmhand of yours?

Face it, AJ. You own them.

And about missing me and Twi... same here. I really, really miss you guys. I really need to know when Twi’s coming over just so she can be here. I...

Ugh, that was hard to write. Mushiness is still something I’m getting used to. Although, with Twi’s latest letter, I might not be able to contain myself.

Okay, so about your weather, I wouldn’t sweat it. I mean, your Aunt and Uncle are made of money. The only time storms really affect you are if you’re poor. Besides, Palamino Beach has probably seen worse, and the weather ponies would never overcharge something to the point of massive destruction...

Crap. I just realized I never told anypony on the Weather Team back in Ponyville that I was leaving for the summer.

So until Twilight and Celestia help me start a school in Ponyville, I’m most likely gonna be out of job until then... and a house (the Weather Team owns that cloud home of mine).

...Whoops.

Eh. I’ll figure something out, crash with you or Twilight maybe.

Write back soon, okay?

With raditude,

Rainbow Dash.

August 18th

Dear Dash,

Whoo boy, I’m gonna try and get this written before I go and pass out. You know those storms you said we shouldn’t be getting? We got our first one. Tore up a good quarter of the groves. It was a sight to see, and these past two weeks I been cleaning up after it. But I’m gonna get all my writing done tonight if it kills me.

First, I told you before and I’ll keep telling you: You always got a place to live and work you can do on Sweet Apple Acres. Any of my friends do, really, but you especially now. I’ll work things out with the folks, and so long as you make yourself useful you can stay.

Speaking of that, are you a little too impulsive for your own good? Do apples grow on trees?

Of course you’re too impulsive, sugarcube. But you always manage to come out right in the end. This is a big job you took on, but you can do it. Being a teacher ain’t that different from being an entertainer, you just got a smaller audience, and the things you say and do actually matter. You’re the best teacher those foals could ask for ‘cause they pay attention to you, so if you’re telling them how to do things right they’re really gonna learn it.

As to Twilight being a princess, it ain’t that she’s a princess. It’s that she’s a pony so amazing that the whole universe decided to see it and make her a princess so everypony in the world would know it. She was just as amazing before, and I’d be just as worried about doing right for her, cause there’s just something about her that makes me need to.

I think it’s ‘cause she’s different, to be honest. I mean, I grew up with ponies not that different from you and the other girls. Me and Rarity were in school together from when I can remember, so that’s how I figured ponies from Canterlot must act, and nothing I saw in Manhattan as a foal made me think different. But then Twilight Sparkle shows up, so nice and smart and just special. She’s different, she deserves everything both of us got. That includes, but ain’t limited to, in the sack.

You, on the other hoof, you might not always deserve it but you go and make me wanna give it anyway. Something about you makes me crazy, it sneaks in my mind so I’m always thinking about you, for good and bad. Sometimes it gets on my nerves, cause I was trying to think about helping OJ set up an pastry cart by the beach and end up thinking about how you’d look out there on a surfboard, and how much fun we’d have, and what we could do on a beach after... I know you probably can’t see where this is a problem. But I like to keep my head together.

For me, I reckon I do my best. I ain’t done much heroic, just take care of my family and friends, but there are worse things to be proud of, I suppose. And I am proud of it, no mistake. But it just seems normal to me, like it’s what everypony does. Or what they oughta do, anyway.

Finally, I mentioned it before, but I think I finally got things straight with OJ. He’s got himself a pastry cart, and suddenly he’s real interested in how the orange groves are doing. This might just work out.

This summer ain’t coming out so bad after all.

Love,

August 23rd

Dear AJ,

So Twilight left this morning. Obviously, it was pretty awesome to see her. We saw the Wonderbolts, got Princess Luna plastered, did the nasty in a jacuzzi, you know, standard stuff.

I wish you were there, though. Both of us do. That’s the only thing keeping Twilight’s visit from being perfect.

But I’m still glad that Twilight was there, though. I... told her that I loved her.

It’s true, AJ. I’m actually in love with her. Wanna know something else?

I love you.

You know, it was weird to say it out loud, and it’s just as weird for me to write it out, but it’s true. I love you, Applejack.

And I think I know when it is I fell in love with you, too. It was when you sent that one letter to me after I sent my response to your drunk letter.

I was so, so pissed with you, but you weren’t angry with me at all. You sent me something that showed how sorry you were. It tore me up because I treated you like shit. That’s why I got so drunk when I wrote you that letter. I was so... sad. I was sad because I made you sad.

And when you told me how you wanted me to teach you how to crash, I think that’s when I started thinking of us. I want you to crash into me, AJ. I want you to know you don’t have to be any kind of superhero for me.

Twilight coming to Ponyville was the best thing that ever happened to me. It not only brought me closer to her, it brought me closer to you. I love both of you so much.

I promise you, I’m gonna make this work. I still don’t really know what ‘this’ is, but I’ll make it work. When you guys need me, I’ll be large and in charge.

I love you, AJ. Write back soon.

-Rainbow Dash.

P.S.- If you ever tell anyone I got this mushy, I will get sweet, sweet revenge. Thanks to Princess Luna, I know horrible things about you that I can use at anytime. Of course, you might like my idea of revenge, too *wink*

P.P.S.- Hey, I know I shouldn’t be putting this in a letter about us, but I need to know if Rarity and Fluttershy have written anything to you. I dunno if you heard, but Rarity wrote a drunk letter to Fluttershy (deja vu, right?), and now, I think they’re dating... I think.

See, I don’t think Fluttershy has written Rarity back since she said she ‘liked her’ and now, Rarity is kind of going crazy. See, I told her that I never remembered Fluttershy being into mares, and now, Rarity’s getting worried that Fluttershy lied to her.

Fluttershy wouldn’t hurt her like that, would she?

August 23rd

Dear Dash,

I love you too.

I could say the same to Twilight, and it’s just so easy. Like saying it to my family, just a fact I don’t gotta think about, something that’s true, and normal… but this ain’t supposed to be how it is, right? It’s supposed to be one pony I love like this. Course, nopony ever told me why that is. And no matter the reason, there’s not much I can do about it now.

This is what I was trying to say in them letters about crashing, I ain’t good at this. I’m good at knowing what I’m supposed to do and getting it done. Find a pony to fall in love with, and treat her right, that’s what I was supposed to do. I’ll admit, I think for a while now I’d hoped that pony would be Twilight someday.

Then I got that letter where you were drunk, after thinking I’d never hear from you again. And I had that dream I told you about (it sounds like Princess Luna mighta told you a bit more about it…) and I figured out how much I [span]wanted[/span] needed you. I could never tell Twilight how much I wanna be able to do things I’m not supposed to do. Not really, at least, even if I can kinda explain it, I can’t make her see. She’s the thing I’m supposed to do, a special pony I wanna take care of, and I want that with all my heart, like my farm and my family. I don’t want her to think for a minute that I might let her down.

But you gotta understand how much I need you. What I found out from all this is there’s too much I ain’t supposed to do, or want, or be. And… (now this part is hard to write) it makes me feel weak and scared when I want those things. When I get scared, I get dumb, and I can’t afford to be scared or dumb if I got ponies to take care of. So, I reckon I need you to help me do the things I ain’t supposed to do, so they turn out alright and I don’t gotta be scared of them. And that starts with loving both of you girls.

I couldn’t do something like this without you, Dash. All those things telling me I ain’t allowed to love two ponies would scare me too much, and I’d rip myself apart to make it feel right and make myself be how everypony expects me to be, how I expect me to be. You’re holding me together in this, you’re what makes this okay for me to do. I love you, and I need you.

Well, I reckon that’s about as honest as I can be ‘bout that. I trust you, just keep me safe.

I wish I coulda been with you girls the other day in Las Pegasus. I reckon I’m glad you were thinking about me, I know I think about the two of you every darn day. But it’s nice to know that even when I can’t be there, you got each other to love.

Now, as to Fluttershy and Rarity, well, there are things I ain’t at liberty to divulge, but let’s just say that those two both put their hooves in it. I can’t rightly blame Rarity, me and her musta fell off the same tree. And I guess I ain’t the only pony who gets dumb when she gets scared. But when we get back to Ponyville, if this thing ain’t worked out by then, those two are gonna sit down and have a talk if I have to hogtie them both until they’re straight with each other. I reckon we can’t blame them two for how they feel any more than we can blame ourselves, so we just gotta be there for them both, but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let them act like fools to one another.

I guess everything’s gonna be a mite strange when we get home. But we’ll get by, and everypony will come out the happier for really knowing the truth. That goes for me and you and Twilight as much as for Fluttershy and Rarity. It might be scary, but it’s a darn sight better this way.

I love you, sugarcube.

Love,

Applejack

September 6th

Dear AJ,

It’s good to be home.

Okay, so I know I said I’d be coming back on Tuesday, but... this weekend was too wild, AJ.

Me, Booster and the guys tore. it. up.

I can’t even remember most of it, but by the time we woke up, we were on top of Booster’s roof a giant sack of bits and a pile of broken bottles. I also got the worst sunburn (still kinda stings when I strain my movement). The best part though was seeing Booster and The Gun Show snuggled up together. This really was the summer of love (groovy).

So yeah, I finally struck it rich in that city, I must say, it was the perfect cap to my awesome summer.

I decided to take a train home, not wanting to take the risk with the desert again. I had a LONG goodbye with Booster. I think, most of all, I’m gonna miss him. Without him there or your letters, I wouldn’t have made it through his summer. He’s one awesome guy, AJ. You gotta meet him someday (although, he’ll totally kick your ass at boxing).

Pinkie Pie was right there when I got off the train. I didn’t even tell her I was coming home, and yet, there she was. I got the standard Pinkie Pie treatment (which included the most painful hug ever [Dear Celestia, the sunburn]), and she re-introduced me to everypony in Ponyville (in case I had forgotten somepony’s name, I dunno, it’s Pinkie). When I ran into Scootaloo, I practically had to shake

She treated me to a party at Sugarcube Corner, but I had to tell her no. I was so tired, and so sunburnt.

Pinkie took it well, though. She said this gave her more time for her ‘secret mission’ or something. I dunno, it’s probably a giant Pinkie Pie Party or something like that.

So even though I was dead-tired and was planning on passing out on a cloud, I still had one more thing to do. I went over to Sweet Apple Acres.

The farm’s doing good while you’re gone. Mac’s running things pretty smoothly, although, it’s really nothing special without you there. Still though, everypony’s doing good. You should be glad to know that Granny’s still her crazy-old self, and Apple Bloom didn’t get her cutie mark while you were gone, so you didn’t miss much on that end.

I had a drink with them on the porch and we got talking. Mac explained that he knew about what’s going on between you, me and Twilight. Apple Bloom still isn’t sure what our deal is. I wasn’t sure how to explain it, and neither was Mac. Granny... I can only guess she’s cool with it (hard to tell, you know?).

Well, there’s one thing I know for sure, they miss you a lot, just like I do. I really hope you’re coming home soon, AJ. I know ponies say this all the time and it’s really mushy, but Ponyville seriously isn’t the same without you. Shit, my whole summer just hasn’t been the same since I saw you and Twilight. You two fill a part of me I didn’t know was missing.

I slept in your room last night, if that’s cool with you. Like I said, I was gonna sleep on a cloud, but Mac refused to let me leave, because I guess I was passing out right there on the porch (a day with Pinkie after a hangover will do a lot to you).

But anyway, I’m now chilling at the library until you guys get back (Spike says ‘hi’), so you can send any letters here. Hopefully not too many, because I actually want to hear words coming out of your mouth... I think I could make that sound prettier, but nah.

Come home soon, AJ. Your family loves and misses you (ditto from me, btw).

Stay schemin’,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Dash and Twilight,

I’m sending this to both you girls, because I figure it’s kind of important.

I’m headed home. This weekend, just in time for cider season.

Y’all will have to pardon my messy writing just there.

I love ya both, and I’ll see ya’ soon.

Love,
AJ

The Mailbox Compilation

by Skeeter The Lurker

Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy

Applejack and Rarity

Rarity and Rainbow Dash

Rarity and Twilight Sparkle

Applejack and Fluttershy

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie

Fluttershy and Rarity

Applejack and Pinkie Pie

Rarity and Pinkie Pie

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle

Applejack and Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow Dash and Applejack

Cast, Crew, and Extras