But... It's Like Vanilla and Hayloft...
Ugh. Leaping Luna, this day totally sucked. How long was I flying for? Since sunup? Yeesh... If I kicked the clouds any harder, the sky would have broken loose from the screws holding it in place. Just why did the ponies east of town need so much rainfall anyways? All the good stuff is on this side, over here past the southwest hill below me. Seriously, every other farm can just move on to another county and find fertile land there. Whatever. These orchards are where it’s at. Totally. I don’t care if it’s quiet and boring above these tree tops. It’s not so bad once a mare gets used to it.
Speaking of which... hmmm... darn, my ears hurt from all that thunder-brewing. Even the wind feels like it’s piercing through my skull. I swear, I’m going soft. I should be flying more instead of... instead...
Just what have I been doing lately, anyways? The ponies must all think I’ve disappeared. Heck, poor Scoots must be planning my funeral by now. I should pay the lil’ squirt a visit sometime soon, just to play face, assuming Apple Bloom isn’t telling her all sorts of wild stories to confuse her orange noggin’. I don’t even know what the redheaded kid thinks of this... this... whatever this is.
Awesome. That’s what it is. Heh...
Argh... Soon, everypony’s gonna know. Then what am I gonna say? I’m not good at public speeches. Heck, it’s not like I gotta be all public about it, even if I have an image to protect. The Wonderbolts don’t wanna be inducting a softie, right? So what if most of them are bachelors and bachelorettes? I can still blend in with them, right? After all, there’s gotta be somepony in the whole lot who’s got... I-I mean a pony who is joined with another at the... the... darn it...
My ears hurt so friggin’ much. What I wouldn’t give for a nice scratch. I mean... heck... I guess I could ask you. But, I kinda sorta like it when I don’t have to ask. Ugh, I am becoming a softie, aren’t I? That’s it. We gotta talk about this. We gotta lay down parameters or ground rules or something because...
Because...
Oh gosh...
There you are... that speck of rustic country orange in the middle of so much green.
Oh jeez... oh jeeeeeez, I don’t mind being a softie at all. Uh uh. Not one bit.
Hmmmm... Heeee... Life is good, isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. What the heck are you doing? Is that a spreadsheet in front of you? Buck it.
“What the heck are you doing?” I ask. I exhale, touching down in a burst of air, kicking lose blades of grass across your shiny-shiny fetlocks. Whoah, you must have been working hard today, haven’t you?! “Been working hard?” That’s a lot of friggin’ sweat. You haven’t showered yet, I bet. Oh jeez, are my cheeks burning already? “Oh... uhm... h-hey there, I guess...”
“Hey yerself,” you grunt.
Wuh oh. Did Bloomberg Jr kick the bucket or something? Your face is like chiseled stone as you stare emotionlessly into... yes, it is a spreadsheet? The heck did I just stumble into?
“Forgive me if I’m a might bit distant, surgarcube,” you mutter.
Your voice is dull, colder than a gravestone, and yet you still find time to toss me something sweet to nibble on. I’ve heard that same succulent “sugarcube” tossed sleepily at me from beneath the covers as I join the rooster in waking you. I never thought I’d be the first one to wake up for chores in the morning. I’d tug and tug at your hair and giggle at your growling drawl and drawling growl and the freckles burning beneath sleepy bedwrinkles and holy friggin’ cow are we actually sleeping together these days? Yes, we totally friggin’ are. Criminy, forget today. Life is good. Life is good and... oh wait, you’re still talking. Shoot. Uhm...
“Could you repeat that last part?” I ask. I smile. Suddenly I’m just as sweaty at you.
“Unnngh... You been hurdling yer brain through clouds an awful lot, haven’t you?” You rub your brow and tilt two glazed emeralds my way, blinking. “I said that my work ain’t exactly done yet, Rainbow. I just finished carrying a wagon full of apples into the barn minutes ago, but with Granny too sleepy to work the figure books this afternoon, the task falls to me. It’s a tad bit hard to concentrate with my head still feelin’ all fuzzy like...”
“Yeah... sooooooo...” I toss my saddlebags off with a shrug of my wings and squat down besides you. Whoah... Your coat’s on fire. Is that from all the farmwork? Or do you have a fever or something? Heh... I’m starting to get a fever of my own, if you catch my drift. Heeheehee. “Heeheehee.” Crud! Not out loud, you idiot! “Ahem... So... uh... you gotta do a bunch of math, then?”
“Best not to sit on it, ya reckon?”
“I... guess?” I shrug. “Still, maybe a shower would do us... er... I mean do you good.”
“Very cute, Rainbow, but you know how bad I am at things when I break my concentration.”
“Uh huh.” I gaze closely, intently at your coat. Even after an entire day of throwing your beautiful muscles at every stupid tree on these hills, it’s still got this... like... totally awesome shine to it. For real, you could dive into a pile of mud and come out looking like a washed pile of oranges. I know, I’ve seen it happen... even caused it to happen. Snkkkt... heheheheh...
“And it’s important that, on the side of apple buckin’, we maintain this here quota to be sure we can meet the upcoming harvest.”
“Uh huh...” I lean in. I smile. Here it comes. One breath... two breaths... oh goddess, you smell like vanilla and hayloft. I feel like I’m at a hoofball match, being tackled with a wave of bedsheets hanging on a line right before a late evening thunderstorm hits. The air’s all rusty and electrocuting with each inhale.
“‘Cuz there’s no tellin’ what kind of a hit to the bit bag we might take if we don’t keep up with the numbers as much as the labor.”
“Uh huhhhhh...” I sniff again. So warm. So serene. My cheek burns from rubbing into your side, your shoulder, your neck. You’ve gotta notice this by now: me laying into you like you’re some big orange body pillow that breathes back into me and holy cow this smile hurts.
“Nnngh... Rainbow. For real, darlin’. I gotta get a hoofhold of these here numbers.”
“Mmmmmmdoitlaterrrrrr...” Nuzzlenuzzlenuzzle. Gah! That tickles; my muzzle reaches your mane. Darn, you got sweaty today. It’s like being tossed flowers in the middle of the Wonderbolts’ locker room. So awesomely gross. Please, don’t ever kick me out. I’d friggin’ croak. I totally would.
“I can’t do it later. Didn’t y’all hear me? It’s now or never.”
“Mmmm...” Inhale. “So what are a few numbers?” Exhale. “They’re orchards, AJ.” Inhaaaaaale... oh yessssss... hee hee hee. “Hmmm... They’ll grow back.”
“Unlike somepony’s wings.”
Screw it. I’m letting you hear it: “Heeheehee!” My voice cracks. “Is that a threat?”
“Go inside and wash up. I mean it. We can talk about our day and... ‘socialize’ later.”
“Who am I, now? Apple Bloom?” I cling to you from behind with both forelimbs, refusing to let go. There’s a crook in your neck between the shoulder and the bulk of your blonde mane, and it was built just for my face and mine alone. “Don’t fool yourself, fillyfrienddddd. You can’t tell me what to do.”
“I swear, Rainbow, yer gonna be the end of me.”
“Oh yeah? Is it a happy ending?”
Silence. It’s so sudden, I take no notice of it. Nuzzling you is like napping in a warm, sunlit cloud; time just goes in slow motion. I used to hate going nowhere. I used to hate a lot of things, but then you gave me a place where I could learn to love them.
I could learn to love.
I could... could...
“Rainbow Dash, darlin’?” Your voice is bone-chillingly inquisitive.
Yeah, whatever. “Hmm? What is it, AJ?”
“Why do you love me, sugarcube?”
I slam into a mountain. At least, that’s what it feels like. My eyes flash open, and I swear they must be bloodshot. My ears ache again; probably because they’re throbbing like needles dancing in and out of the lobes. I look towards you, and you’re looking straight back at me. You’re no longer looking at the book anymore.
No... No, ma’am, you’re looking at me and you just asked... you just asked...
Awww crap...
“What?” I blink.
“I asked you a question, Rainbow,” you say, still as stone. I realize how hard your eyes are, ‘cuz they’re suddenly cutting into me. If I bled open, a grave would appear beneath me to soak up all the juices. “Ya mind answering it?”
“I...” My heart beats. “I... uh...” My heart beats again. I’m afraid to count the seconds, or else I’ll be dead before I reach “ten.”
“Well?” You’re deader than a statue. Maybe you’re my grave’s headstone. “How ‘bout it? Why do reckon you love me so much?”
I already feel the palpitations rising up. How long have we been together? Three months now? Four? How many nights have I clung to you, curling up in your forelimbs, safe in the darkness, secure in the toasty, fuzzy warmth of your hug, where it’s okay to shiver, where it’s okay to cry, where it’s okay... to be soft?
Is three months too early? Is this too early to... to come to this? What is this coming to? Am I alive? Am I dead? Why do you keep looking at me like this? I’ve never been so terrified in my life. I’ve never been so... so...
“So awesome, AJ,” I say. I whisper.
“You use that word so much that you plum wear it out, Rainbow.”
“But... but it’s true! I-I mean you’re true! I-I-I mean...” I shake my head, shudder, and squeak, “You’re awesome, AJ. Heck, you’re amazing... you’re astounding... epic... super... fantastic...”
Slowly, like a knife, your eyebrow raises up.
I’m shaking. I know I’m shaking. Do you know I’m shaking? I cling to your tail hairs, fiddling with them, clutching them like an anchor that I’m terribly afraid to lose grip of out of nowhere. “You... You’re so up front about... about everything.” I gulp. “You don’t hide stuff, and I know I can’t hide stuff around you. You say it like it is... and you give all you can... to me... to everypony...”
I hug your hairs like a foal and her blanket. Oh goddess, this sucks. I suck. What is this? Why can’t I sit still?
“And... and, y’know... I-I kept trying to prove that I was better than you... more awesome... and I didn’t realize...” I shudder. “That you’re just as awesome. You’re not better or worse than me; you’re just a different kind of awesome. And when I wanted to know more about that awesomeness, you... you let me, Applejack. You... you let me in. You gave me more than you gave any other pony. You gave me your heart. You gave me a home. You gave me... you gave me...”
I bit my lip, avoiding your gaze. I’ve been cut enough in life. Don’t you know that? Of course you know. You know everything. Because...
“You... y-you gave me a pony I could give everything b-back to...” I exhale heavily. It could very well be my last breath. So what if it is? “For the longest time, I was certain I’d have to live a life without that. But... but you showed me that I was only fooling myself. And I’m happy now... I’m happy to be... so lucky... so very lucky...”
My words suddenly end, because you’re devouring them, devouring me. I feel your lips around mine, and I gasp, only to inhale you. This time, it’s a sweet breath, the sweetest of inhales, for you are giving it to me, instead of me stealing it from you like some crazy, pervy stalker.
When the bridges between us collapses, here you are with a warm smile to catch me, the smile I was looking forward to all day. “Ya know yer downright adorable when yer nervous, darlin’?”
I blink. I blink again. “You... y-you’re not mad at me?”
“Mmmm-mmmm...” You shake your head from side to side. I feel a hoof rising up to caress my cheek, and it melts me. Goddess... so friggin’ soft. “Now why would you ever think that, sugarcube?”
“But... but this... you... you asked...”
“And I know, Rainbow.” Your hoof slides its way down to my shoulder and tenderly kneads the top of my right forelimb. “I know. But it doesn’t mean I dun wanna hear it from time to time, instead of you just nuzzlin’ me like I’m nothin’ more than a fresh basket of laundry, especially when I’m in the middle of somethin’ important.”
I finally exhale, and it’s like all the clouds I’ve ever kicked today are rocketing out of me. I feel limp, and you’re there to catch me, with those arms that you and I both know I love surrendering to. It’s as though I’m invisible here in your embrace. The world doesn’t have to see me collapse. Only a pony as strong as you could let me crumble like this and not feel like something super lame.
And yet, I feel... I feel...
“Oh, Applejack...” I shudder. I wanna sob and laugh all at once. Instead, I bury my face into your orange chest, still damp from a day’s worth of working the farm, working the earth, working my heart. “Just... just don’t do that kind of stuff.” I sniffle once. “Don’t freak me out like that, okay?”
You laugh. It’s more of a guffaw, almost... uhm... half donkeyish? It could just as well be the ringing of bells. My ears no longer hurt, cuz you’re breathing into one of them.
“Freak y’all out? How so? By wantin’ to talk? By wantin’ to share?”
“I know, it’s just... the way you worded it... and... and...” My voice is squeaking. I know it is. I cling to you tighter. “I kind of freaked out. Just a little bit...”
“I reckon y’all did, and I’m mighty sorry, sugarcube.”
“Ungh, I’m so stupid...” My eyes clench shut. “I’m the one who should be sorry... wussing out like a pansy.”
“Uh uh. None of that. Shhhh...” Your voice reverberates through your forelimbs around me. “Listen to me, Rainbow Dash. I love you more today than I did yesterday. And guess what? I’m gonna love you more tomorrow than I did today. Don’t you ever fret none, ya hear?" You raise your cheek against mine, and our nuzzle is mutual now. "Yer my special gal, and I’m happy to have you in my life." You smile evenly with my face. I'm on fire. Like... blazing hot. "But... I still gotta live that life, and that means tendin’ to thangs on the farm, both in buckin’ and in calculatin’, ya feel me?”
I smile. My eyes are moist, but I don’t care. It’s not like I’m hiding anything. Rather, I’m holding them... and I’m holding them between us, just like you hold me. Because I remember once again why life is so good... and why it’s so good here... right smack dab between your forelimbs.
I feel. And I can feel. It’s okay. It’s all just so... okay.
Honest, it is.
“So, the faster you let me get this over with, the quicker we can get to washin’ up and preparin’ dinner. Sound good?”
“Yeah...” I lean back from you as our hug parts. I feel naked suddenly. How stupid. It’s all so stupid. I love you so darn much. “Yeah, sounds... uhm... awesome.”
“Ungh...” You roll your sexy green eyes and I want to faint. “There y’all go again. Ain’t no puttin' the cork in that bottle, I suppose.”
“Sorry.” I nod, picking up my saddlebag. “Oh! Uhm... I picked up some of your favorite vegetable on the way home.”
“Uh huh...”
“You know the stuff..." I lean towards you at a forty-five degree angle, eyebrows wagging. "You love putting it in the Apple Family homemade soup.”
You squat back down over the spreadsheet. “Yes. I probably do.”
“You know what I’m talking about, right?”
“Uhhh...”
“Oh come on, AJ!” I grumbled. “Just say it!”
“For goodness’ sake...” You groan and swing your head towards me once more with a toss of your golden mane. “‘Celery!’” you exclaim.
“Heeheehee!” I stumble back, clutching myself as I giggle. “I just love it when you say that word out loud!”
“Yer a brick short of a load, darlin’.”
“And you smell super extra nice when you’re sweaty.”
“I sure as hay do not!” you grumble. A beat. You daintily raise a fetlock to your own nostril, as if I somehow don’t notice.
I do. And I fidget. “So... uhm... one for the road?”
“Fine,” you groan. “Get it over with.”
My wings take off instantly. In a blur, I’m hovering by your side and nuzzling your mane where a hat normally should be. My inhaling nostrils tickle your ears, and you let out another flighty guffaw. More bells. You wave me off with a hoof, and I’m zipping towards the farmhouse in an awesome blur.
I close my eyes as I relish the last traces of your scent in mid-flight. Maybe I’ll crash into a wall. Maybe I’ll shatter into a million pieces. Heh... whatever.
You’re a working mare; I have no doubt you’ll just sweep me right back up into your forelimbs. I’m kind of stupidly lucky that way. I’ll remember that the next time you’re crazy enough to ask me scary questions. Heheheh...
Oh hey, a wall. That kind of hurt.