A grown up Sweetie Belle returns to Ponyville after being gone for years.
Sweetie Belle hasn't been home to Ponyville in years. The day she left she said good bye to her best friends, her adopted family, and everything she knew to be familiar. But staying in Ponyville after what happened brought too much heartache and she left to find a new life for herself. Now, years later, she's gone home. Will her friends still be her friends? And more importantly, can Sweetie Belle find the peace she's been trying to find for so long?
Ponyville. Home. They say it's always easy to go back home. It's where your roots are, where there's safety and familiarity. It's the one place you can let your guard down and know that somehow, someway, everything is going to turn out just the way it's meant to. Yet the idea of home was anything but comforting. In fact the closer the train got to Ponyville, the more anxious the pale gray unicorn at the back of the compartment felt. Her eyes were closed, her two-colored mane a mess from so many hours traveling. She was breathing slowly, intentionally, trying to keep herself from running to the bathroom and getting sick. It wasn't easy but somehow she managed to catch on to the sound of the tracks the train passed over. It was an easy cadence to follow, hypnotic in a way that she couldn't ignore once she recognized it. And so this steady rhythm was what held the nervous mare together for a little while longer.
When the train began to slow she sucked in a sharp breath. This was it. Ponyville was before her. She was home once more. How different would it be? How different would her friends be? The ponies she used to know so well? How many of them would still be there?
They pulled into the station and she spotted someone familiar at first glance. Laying happily on one of the many benches outside the station was Twilight Sparkle. She didn't look very different, just a little older. She wore her mane differently, pulled back away from her face. There was a smile on her lips as she watched a little lavender colored colt with a navy and black mane and tail play magically with a ball. Her attention was only torn from the colt when the train fully pulled in. She looked up as if searching the windows for the pony she was there to greet.
Inside the train, the anxious unicorn took a deep breath and stood. Her horn glowed softly and her single bag came down easily from the overhead compartment to float just beside her. She fell in line behind other disembarking ponies. A glimpse through the windows showed Twilight on her feet, waiting. When she saw who she was looking for she rushed forward to embrace her friend. "Sweetie Belle," she said softly, squeezing her tightly. "It is so good to see you."
Sweetie Belle returned the hug, somewhat startled at the realization that she was now a few inches taller than Twilight. It really had been a long time. As the two separated, Sweetie Belle smiled stiffly. "It's good to see you, too, Twilight."
"My goodness, you've gotten tall. And your hair is so long! Where did the curls go?"
She laughed quietly, touching her mane in a manner reminiscent of Rarity. "It's still there. Sort of. The longer I grew it the more wavy it became and the less frizzy curls." The colt she saw earlier trotted up to stand beside Twilight. "Hello."
"Oh!" Twilight looked down at the little unicorn. "Sweetie Belle, I'd like you to meet my son, Lucky Star. Lucky, this is Sweetie Belle."
"Pleased to meet you!"
Sweetie Belle's smile grew more genuine. "Likewise. What a polite young stallion. My goodness, does he look like Clover."
Twilight beamed. "But he's got his mother's magical abilities. The best of both of us really." She returned her attention to Sweetie Belle. "Any more luggage I can help you with? Surely that's can't be it."
But Sweetie Belle shook her head. "Just the one. I...don't know how long I'll be staying."
The happy expression on Twilight's face dimmed some, and she nodded slowly. "I understand. Well, let's get going then."
With her bag still floating beside her, Sweetie Belle passed through the train station with Twilight and Lucky, heading out on the path that would take them into Ponyville proper. They talked about the train ride, how glad they were that it wasn't raining, about Sweetie Belle's Bridleway career and the shows she just completed. It had been so long since she'd been home that Twilight had to get a good appraising look at her cutie mark: a pink treble clef with a purple heart on the tail.
"Scootaloo and Apple Bloom will be so excited to see you!"
She wasn't too sure about that and decided to change the subject. "Does anypony else know I'm here?"
Twilight shook her head. "Nope. Clover is the only pony I told. I still don't really understand why you wrote to me and not..."
"I just thought it would be less complicated this way." Whatever had been in her tone made Twilight stop talking. Instead she simply nodded and watched Lucky Star trot on ahead of them. The pair walked in silence for quite awhile and it gave Sweetie Belle time to reacquaint herself with the scenery. The road to the train station wasn't one she took often when she was little, but it was something to get used to all the trees and nature again. She'd been living in Manehattan for so many years now, the busy, thriving city, that she'd almost forgotten how green Ponyville was. And quiet.
"Sweetie Belle, may I ask you something?"
She blinked, pulling herself from her reverie to look at Twilight. "Um...I guess so?"
"What made you decide to come back? After being away so long, I mean. We'd all just assumed you wanted to forget about us."
There it was, that first twinge of guilt. She knew it would come sooner or later but to have it first given to her from Twilight? That had been unexpected. Sweetie Belle swallowed and looked at her hooves as she walked. "Honestly? I did want to forget about you all. I wanted to forget about Ponyville all together. I'm happy in Manehattan. I love what I do, the ponies I get to work with." She blushed a little. "I even kind of like the attention now. Which I know is so different from when I was little. But no one on Bridleway knew that Sweetie Belle so I got to sort of reinvent myself."
"Then if you're so happy...?"
She shook her head. "It was one night during a performance. I'd just got done singing Hard Trot Life and as I went off stage to get ready for the next scene I just had this sudden...weird...need to be here. For a few minutes, all I wanted to do was come here, to be with everyone again, for it to be the way it was when I was a little filly."
Twilight gave her a sad smile. "I know this is going to be hard for you, Sweetie Belle. But I think it's going to be good for you. You need this closure in order to really heal. I know you said you're happy in your life now but I have to wonder if there isn't still a part of you that's harboring hurt and sorrow."
"There is," Sweetie Belle admitted quietly. "But I've always found ways to push it aside and ignore it. Coming back here would mean I'd have to face it and let myself come undone. And that's really scarey."
"That's the thing about old wounds," said Twilight evenly. "You can cover them up and pretend they're not there all you want but they're still festering under the surface. Sometimes you have to reopen what has been poorly healed over to make sure what has been hurt can heal properly."
Though it was sage advice, it was hard for Sweetie Belle not to smile. That was definitely the Twilight Sparkle she remembered, the pony who always had an answer and could quote solutions from books she had in her collection verbatim. She could just picture Scootaloo walking beside her and rolling her eyes.
"What's that smile for?"
"Hmm? Oh, nothing."
Twilight shrugged. "Well, Clover and I have the guest room all made up for you. You know you're welcome to stay as long as you want to and I promise you'll have your privacy. I'm at the library all day, Clover's at the cafe and Lucky has school so you'll have plenty of time by yourself if you want it."
"Is Miss... is Cheerilee still teaching?"
"She is. Though I daresay her technique has changed some since your time at the school house. Once Morning Glory was old enough to start going, Apple Bloom marched herself over there and told Cheerilee that if she heard of anypony giving her niece as hard a time as she was given in school, she'd be forced to take matters into her own hands."
"Glory," Sweetie Belle breathed. "She was just a tiny little thing when I left."
"She's not so tiny anymore. She's bigger than you were when you left, and very much a daddy's girl. Did you know Fluttershy had twins after Glory? Well, not right after but a few years after. Sundance and Suncrisp. Whereas Morning Glory is an Earth pony like Big Macintosh, the twins are pegasai like Fluttershy. And Big Mac couldn't be happier in a house full of girls."
Sweetie Belle chuckled. "I'm glad to hear it. Wow. Seems I've missed a lot. A growing Apple family, you and Clover have Lucky Star..."
"Oh Sweetie, you simply have no idea."
They were drawing up close to town now; the thatched roofs and cottage style houses and apartments brought back a flood of memories. Chatter and laughed drifted out toward them on the breeze and Sweetie Belle and to concentrate on her breathing once again. This was now. She was an adult, not a helpless little filly. This was now.
She stayed close to Twilight as they trotted down the street, passing by the fountain in the main square. There were quite a few faces she recognized though none seemed to take any notice of her. It didn't take long at all for her to get her bearings and when she did, she realized they were heading toward Clover's cafe. As they moved by Sugarcube Corner, Sweetie Belle tried to glance inside to see if Pinkie Pie was there but didn't see anypony.
"Mom, can I go play with Jubilee?"
Twilight looked at her son. "Yes, as long as you're home in time for dinner. And please don't forget your manners. Say goodbye to Sweetie Belle."
"I'll be home in time, I promise! Bye Sweetie Belle!" The little colt took off in a run and the two mares shared a laugh before continuing on.
"How is Clover doing?" Sweetie Belle asked, the sign for "The Four Leaf Clover Cafe" becoming visible in the distance.
"Oh, you know Clover. He's just fine. He's training sompony else to manage the kitchen now, though. He'd never admit it but I can tell he's starting to feel all those years of doing everything for everypony."
Sweetie Belle smiled fondly. "He was always there when anypony needed him. I liked living next door to him because he was so carefree and fun. Rarity used to tease me for having a crush on him."
Twilight's eyes glittered in mirth. "I never knew that!"
"I never really had a crush on him. He was more like a father figure to me. Rarity was Mom and Clover was Dad in my little fantasy world. I shared a lot of silly childhood secrets with him."
"No wonder he's so excited to see you. I knew he lived next door to you and Rarity but I never realized the extent of your friendship." Twilight pushed open the door to the cafe and the two of them went inside.
This place was also just as she remembered it. All wooden beams and polished floors, rustic and somehow classy at the same time. And at the far end of the room behind the counter was a gray stallion. His spiky once-jetblack mane was going ashen at the roots but there was still the same mischievous sparkle to his blue eyes. When he looked up to see who'd entered and he spotted Sweetie Belle, he grinned.
"This can't be my little buddy." He rounded the counter and came forward to hug Sweetie Belle just as tightly as Twilight had. "Look at you. You're so grown up."
She clung to him, feeling her throat tighten. "Hey, Clover."
"It's good to see you, kid."
"Good to see you, too." If every greeting was going to be like this, she had a long visit ahead of her. As the embrace was broken she reached up to quickly wipe away a tear, trying to laugh it off. "I've been on a train all day so I'm a little over tired."
"Well what are you doing here? We've got a room waiting for you. Go get some rest!"
Twilight nuzzled Clover and he leaned into her instinctively. "I wanted to let you know she arrived safely before bringing her back to the house. How much longer do you have here?"
He sighed and glanced at the clock. "Maybe another hour or two. Not long. I'm ready to go home, though." He dipped his head, placing a gentle kiss on Twilight's muzzle. "What's for dinner?"
She smiled up at him sweetly. "I guess that all depends on what you're bringing home tonight."
Sweetie Belle chuckled inwardly, watching them banter back and forth with so much obvious affection between them. For some reason it made her feel more at ease, like staying with them had been the right choice. "I'd be willing to cook."
"After your long day?" Clover balked. "No, I'll bring something home. Besides, I seem to remember stories about a certain little filly who once almost burned down a kitchen..."
"Hey, I was a lot younger then and couldn't do magic!"
The gray stallion grinned and gave her a wink. "Sure sure. I'll see you two ladies at home later."
"Bye, love." Twilight giggled as she and Sweetie Belle left the cafe. "See? Same old Clover."
Sweetie Belle nodded. "Some things never change."
If only ever reunion would be that easy. She looked forward to some sleep and a relaxing evening with Twilight and her family. Tomorrow would be a very, very long day.
Sleep did not come easy for Sweetie Belle that night, not that she expected any different. As tired as she was her brain would just not turn off. She kept thinking about the other ponies that would eventually come to know she had returned to Ponyville. It was impossible not to imagine how those reunions would play out, impossible not to hope for the best but know deep down it would never be that easy.
For a few hours that night it felt as though everything was right in the world. She enjoyed having dinner with Twilight, Clover and Lucky Star. They were a precious family, the little colt quite the mixture of his parents. Her offer to help clean up afterward was quickly declined, so Sweetie Belle spent some time getting to know Lucky. He was an energetic little thing with a quick wit and such a hunger for knowledge. Just before they decided to pull out a game to all play together there was a knock on the door and a little filly on the other side of it.
"Hi there!" she said with energy, bouncing into the room and onto Sweetie Belle's back as she lay on the floor. In the next instant she was on her head, clinging to Sweetie Belle's horn as she hung her peach colored face down to say, "Hi again!" pink and blonde curls frizzy and all over the place. Sweetie Belle just blinked, not sure what to do.
"Um...hi?"
"Jubilee, Sweetie Belle is not a jungle gym," Clover scolded with a laugh.
"I know that, silly! But she's a new pony and I wanted to introduce myself because Lucky said that there was a new pony staying at his house and her name was Sweetie Belle and she was an ooooolllllllld friend of yours and I really hope this is Sweetie Belle because if not that would really be embarrassing and I would feel silly for calling you somepony's else's name when your name could be something so different like Chocolate Chip Sandwich!"
Sweetie Belle blinked and looked at Twilight and Clover, then back to the filly. "You must be Pinkie Pie's daughter."
"How did you guess?" She jumped off of Sweetie Belle's head, tucked herself into a somersault, then sprang up on all four hooves.
"Just a hunch. Yes, I'm Sweetie Belle." She side-eyed Twilight with obvious question in her gaze.
Twilight gave her a wry smile in return. "Did you ever meet Applejack's cousin, Braeburn?"
"That's my daddy!" Jubilee exclaimed. "And Lucky Star is my best friend! Well, one of my best friends. But when all three of us are together we are..." Lucky was on his hooves instantly and they bellowed together, "The Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
"Two point oh," added Jubilee.
Sweetie Belle felt tug on her heart. Cutie Mark Crusaders 2.0 It was impossibly cute but at the same time, she wasn't sure how she felt about another group of crusaders. That had been her special thing with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Still, looking at the two standing so proudly together it was hard to begrudge them their titles. She'd always loved being a part of the CMC and the relationships she had with the other Crusaders. They'd been the most important things to her once upon a time.
"So who is your third? One of Fluttershy's, I presume?" Lucky Star and Jubilee shared a look that suggested Sweetie Belle was crazy. She raised an eyebrow. "If you tell me Rainbow Dash and Applejack..."
"Oh no," Twilight laughed. "No magical baby conception there. After you three left the nest, that was it for them."
"Who, then?"
"Dark Cloud," Lucky provided.
"But don't call him a prince," added Jubilee quickly.
"Why would I call him a prince?"
Clover cleared his throat. "Kids, why don't you two go play in Lucky's room for awhile so we can talk to Sweetie Belle."
"Awwww," they both whined. But Lucky Star shrugged. "Come on, Jubilee. I got an awesome idea on how to get our cutie marks while I was at the train station today..."
They trotted off together and Twilight and Clover looked at one another. "I'll be right back," she said before following the children into the other room. "What are you planning on doing at the train station?"
Sweetie Belle looked up at Clover from her spot on the floor. "Okay, so apparently I have missed a lot more than I imagined I did. Just lay it all on me now so I can get over the shock. Who is Dark Cloud? Does everyone have children now? Do Apple Bloom and Scootaloo?" That last question was hard to ask. The thought of her one-time best friends having families and her not even knowing about it was a painful slap in the face. She'd ignored their existence for all these years, what gave her the right to care now? Still she found herself dreading the answer.
"Dark Cloud is Luna's son. Don't ask who the father is, we don't know and, frankly, it's not really any of our business. She wants to be treated like any other citizen of Ponyville and wants the same for her son. Who are we to deny her that?"
She nodded slowly. "I never got the chance to know Luna very well, though I know she and Pinkie Pie were quite close."
"They still are, and I'm pretty sure Pinkie's the only pony who knows who Dark Cloud's father is."
"Not even the princess?"
Clover shook his head. "Twilight doesn't seem to think so. But, like I said, it's none of our business. As for everypony else, there are no other foals to mention. Not from the core group, anyway. Dash and AJ are still in their own house on the farm. Apple Bloom moved back to the main house after Fluttershy had the twins. She wanted to help out and let Applejack and Rainbow Dash finally have their own space. Scootaloo has been a Cloudsdale resident since...well, since a few weeks after you left."
Sweetie Belle looked down and sighed. "When I got here this morning it felt like I had only been here yesterday. Now I feel like it's been a lifetime."
"In a way it has been." Twilight came back into the room, floating three mugs of tea with her. She gave Sweetie Belle hers and smiled kindly at her. "You're not that naive little filly anymore, Sweetie Belle. And that's a good thing. Everypony has to grow up."
"But I left..."
"Hey." She looked up at Clover to see the stern expression on his face. In every memory she had of the gray stallion, she'd never seen him look so serious. "No one blames you for leaving, Sweetie Belle. If it had happened to me I would have had just as hard a time staying here."
"Any of us would," Twilight added softly. "But that's the beauty of family. We forgive easier than most and we move on and grow from it."
Sweetie Belle shook her head and looked down at her tea. "Maybe you two, but Apple Bloom and Scootaloo? Dash and AJ?"
Now Twilight gave her a look. "Oh, come on. You know Applejack and Rainbow Dash couldn't have loved you more if you were their own. All three of you girls! You were theirs in every sense. They will be nothing but overjoyed to see you. Besides, Dash doesn't hold a grudge as long as she used to. Did you know they went to see one of your shows a couple of years ago?"
The gray unicorn looked up sharply. "Really?"
"When you were in A Pony Line. Dash said Applejack cried when you sang, 'What I Did For Love'."
"W...why didn't they write to tell me? Why didn't they wait to see me?"
"They tried to see you," said Clover. "But they were repeatedly turned away. Especially after Dash said she and Applejack were your parents."
She chuckled softly. "Right, I'm sure that went over well with security. A blue pegasus and an orange earth pony being the parents of a gray unicorn. No wonder they were turned away." Sweetie Belle sighed. "I wish I had known."
"Are you going to go see them tomorrow?"
She nodded to Twilight's question. "I have to."
Clover took a sip of his tea. "When are you going to go see your sister?"
To this, Sweetie Belle had no easy answer. She knew seeing Rarity would be the hardest part of this trip. It was something she didn't want to do at all if she was being honest with herself. If she could get out of it, she knew she would. So her answer was a shrug. "I don't know. I think I have to work up to that."
She tossed and turned in her bed that night. What was she supposed to say to Rarity? That she'd been too busy to come back and visit? On the surface that may have been true but she could have made time. She'd never felt so guilty before in her entire life and that said a lot. Along with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, she did a good number of things in their quest for cutie marks that left her feeling like a terrible pony. But this neglect definitely took the cake.
Whispers just outside made Sweetie Belle climb out of bed and walk to the window on tip-hooves. Jubilee and Lucky were outside and trying to quietly sneak away. Now that brought back memories. "Hey," she whispered. The two froze and Sweetie Belle grinned. "Where do you think you two are going?"
"Um..." Lucky looked at Jubilee for help but she just shrugged. "We're going...uh...fishing?"
"Wow, you lie about as well as your mother. Did you know I was part of the original Cutie Mark Crusaders? Trust me, you couldn't give me a fib we didn't hide behind."
Jubilee bounced. "Did you get your cutie mark while you were crusading?"
"No." Sweetie Belle gave them a small smile. "I got it when I realized there was something I was already talented at. I just couldn't see it until it was the right time."
Lucky huffed and hung his head. "If you're going to tell us we have to have patience..."
She giggled quietly. "I wouldn't dream of it. Just be careful out there, you two."
"Three."
All of them looked up as a black colt circled slowly overhead, then landed to stand with Lucky Star and Jubilee. His mane was thick and dark like the sky and his eyes were a beautiful coppery gold. Standing between the two others, he was taller by a head. "Are you guys ready? I got everything together already."
"Yeah," Lucky enthused. "See you later, Sweetie Belle!"
She waved and watched the three of them head off together, an earth pony, a unicorn, and a pegasus. Though it did make her wonder briefly about Dark Cloud's father, Sweetie Belle was quickly lost in memories of nights long ago when she and Scootaloo could be found doing the same thing the new Crusaders were doing, then heading over to Sweet Apple Acres to get Apple Bloom as well. With a nostalgic sigh she went back to bed. Rest was important is she was going to make it through tomorrow.
When she finally started to drift off she dreamed of the Ponyville of her childhood, her two best friends, and the sister she was dreading going to see.
The morning dawned with a brilliance that seemed reserved only for Ponyville. Inky purple bled into cool navy and magenta, then the fiery red, orange and gold of a rising sun. Sweetie Belle watched the moon sink and the sun rise, and left her room to face the day with trepidation. With Clover already off to work and Lucky off with the other two crusaders, Twilight and Sweetie Belle had a lazy breakfast that allowed the two mares a little extra time to catch up without other listening ears around. Twilight told Sweetie Belle of her heartache at only being able to have one foal and Sweetie Belle admitted to Twilight how much she missed her family here in Ponyville. Before dishes had been cleared the two shared a lot of laughter and a few tears.
“Sweetie Belle,” Twilight said as they finished putting away the last of the just washed dishes. “I've really enjoyed your company, and I'm so glad you're here...”
“But?”
The purple unicorn gave her a small smile. “You can't hide here forever. One, it's not healthy and it's not why you came home. Two, if Jubilee knows you're here then all of Ponyville will know you're here before lunch.”
“I know.” Sweetie Belle levitated the dish rag to the counter and glanced out the window. “I was thinking about going for a walk, stopping by familiar places. I know I'll eventually find myself out on the farm.”
“You should stop by and see Cheerilee. I know she'd be thrilled.”
Sweetie nodded. “I will. Can I walk with you to the library?”
“Absolutely!”
As the pair set out, Sweetie Belle got the feeling she'd had the day before. It was almost like she was a little filly again and Scootaloo and Apple Bloom would come running down the lane at any second. They'd see Twilight and Spike and... “Twilight? Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't even realize! Where's Spike?”
The older mare laughed. “Probably still sleeping. He's been living at the library since Clover and I got married.”
“He still, you know, fits?”
Twilight laughed again. “Oh, Sweetie Belle. I'm glad you haven't changed completely. Dragons live to be hundreds of years old so they grow at a much slower rate than any other creature. He's bigger than when you last saw him and his voice is a little deeper, but he hasn't changed too much.”
“His voice is deeper? He's not doing that whole hoarding thing again, is he?”
“Nope. Just one of the changes that comes with growing up.”
“If you don't mind, I think I'll visit him later today. Maybe...maybe after I go see Rarity.”
“I think that's a good idea,” Twilight agreed gently. When they reached the giant tree that was the library, the two parted ways with Twilight being careful to block Sweetie Belle from view as she slipped inside. They both decided it would be a sweeter reunion if Spike knew nothing about her being there. Now on her own for the first time since returning, Sweetie Belle walked through Ponyville proper and did her best to keep her head held high. For a little while it seemed as though she'd be able to pass on through without anyone even noticing her. Most of the ponies she'd known when she was younger would look right past her after giving a polite smile and walk on by. She didn't think she looked that different, but then she wasn't the little filly she'd once been anymore. She still pictured Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as young as they were when she'd left so why would anyone see her walking and automatically know it was her?
“Oh my goodness. It can't be. Sweetie Belle?”
Well, there was always an exception to the rule.
She turned at the sound of her name, looking for the mare who'd spoken. There were Lyra and Bon Bon but they weren't looking at her. Aloe was walking by and Berry Punch was on the other side of the street but none of them were paying her any attention. It was a gray mare with white and silver hair who looked at her now, purple eyes wide as if in shock. “Oh my gosh, it is you.” She rushed forward and embraced the rather confused Sweetie Belle. “Darling, it's been years! Look at you, a big Bridleway star. Good gracious, you're tall. And you look so much like Rarity.” She stepped back and looked up at Sweetie. “It is so very good to see you.”
Sweetie Belle glanced around as though she could get a hint as to who this earth pony was. She was very pretty and slender and apparently knew who Sweetie Belle was and what she'd been doing. Risking being caught and looking like a complete idiot, Sweetie Belle hugged her again and looked at the mare's cutie mark. “Silver Spoon!” As they broke the embrace, Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Look at you!”
“Look at me? Darling, look at you! How are you?”
“I'm well. And you?”
“Why, I couldn't be happier!”
It was so strange. Along with Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon had worked hard as a filly to make the lives of the Crusaders absolutely miserable, Apple Bloom especially. And because Apple Bloom was one of her best friends, Sweetie Belle had hated Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon on principal. Now the gray pony was acting as though they used to be the best of friends. She carried herself and spoke like a rather refined pony and it was all a little too much for Sweetie to take.
“I'm sorry,” she said, “but this is really weird for me.”
Silver Spoon smiled sympathetically. “Of course it is. You've been away for so long. But you're home now. Do you have a place to stay until you're on your hooves?”
“No, well I mean yes I do and yes it is. But I mean...this. You. We were never... I mean...we weren't friends.”
She winced back, her smile of sympathy turning into one of guilt. “I know. But we were much younger then and we both were different ponies.”
“You were horrible to us!”
“And for that I am truly sorry, Sweetie Belle. Can you ever forgive me?”
Sweetie Belle blinked and stared at Silver Spoon a moment before exclaiming, “Who are you?!”
To her credit, Silver Spoon laughed. “You're not the only pony who has grown up and changed, Sweetie Belle. I am not the pony I used to be. I'm married and am looking to start a family. I'm not that pony anymore.”
“Next you'll be telling me Diamond Tiara is next in line to be the Element of Generosity.”
“Oh, Celestia, no. She's a horrible pony. Living up in Canterlot now with her nose permanently stuck up in the air. She and I had a falling out a few years ago and it was really the best thing to happen to us. I realized I was just following her because it made me feel special. Like I had a friend.”
“You could have had real friends, you know.”
Silver Spoon nodded. “I know that now. But when you're younger you say and do things without realizing the harm they're doing. You just want to feel good about yourself, you know. Even if it is at the expense of others. I think back on our school days and quite frankly I am rather embarrassed.”
She seemed genuine enough and it was hard for Sweetie Belle to remain completely suspicious. “Well...I guess I can forgive you. We were, like you said, just fillies then.”
“Exactly. Oh, I just had an idea! Why don't we have a sort of class reunion? We could all get together and I'll get Sugarcube Corner to cater! We could invite all our old classmates, Dinky, Pipsqueak...everypony we grew up with.”
“Um...yeah. Maybe.” The idea of a big gathering was not really her idea of fun right now. Sweetie Belle was there on mission and once that was accomplished she planned of getting out of Ponyville and back to Manehattan as soon as possible.
“I have to get to work but it truly was wonderful to see you.”
“You too, Silver Spoon. See you.” She stayed where she was, watching Silver Spoon head toward the hospital and disappear inside. What else had changed so much?
Cheerilee was the same, Sweetie was happy to discover. The two had lunch together and Sweetie Belle left her former teacher feeling greatly encouraged. That had always been on of Cheerilee's gifts; no matter how down anypony was she had the uncanny ability to cheer them right up. And so, feeling slightly better about what was to come, Sweetie Belle crossed the bridge that took her out of town and started her on the path to Sweet Apple Acres.
“When I grow up I'm going to be the fastest pegasus in all of Ponyville. No, all of Equestria!”
“I'm gonna be the best apple bucker my family has ever seen!”
“I'm going to own fifty pairs of sunglasses!”
She smirked to herself as she walked, remembering how simple life had been back there. Nothing in the world was so important as getting her cutie mark and staying with her best friends forever and ever. She could still feel the excitement she'd felt the day she moved into Applejack's house on the other side of the farm. It was a time in her life when her parents were off on yet another worldly excursion and Rarity was simply too busy to play mother. So Applejack and Rainbow Dash, already practically mothers to Apple Bloom, decided to take Sweetie Belle in as well. Soon after came Scootaloo when it became obvious her parents weren't giving her the attention she needed. And so they became their own odd little family. And she had loved every single minute of it. Applejack and Dash couldn't have meant more to her than if they really were her parents, and her two best friends had become her sisters. Life had been perfect. For awhile, at least.
“Ooooh, you guys are gonna be in so much trouble!”
Sweetie Belle blinked, pulled from her reverie as the sound of a southern twang.
“No! Glory, you can't tell anypony!”
She knew that voice by now. It was Lucky Star. Picking up her pace, Sweetie Belle trotted farther down the path and slowed as she turned a corner to get a peek at what was going on. Three little ponies sat in a puddle of mud, nothing discernible but eyes, a horn on one and wings on another. Looking at them with a smug smile on her face was a yellow pegasus with long legs, a pink and orange mane and freckles on her face. “I told ya'll that it wasn't gonna work.”
“Aw stuff it, Glory,” said the winged mud blob. “You never did anything like this when trying to get your cutie mark?”
“'Course I did!” Morning Glory laughed. “But I was younger and less wise then.”
The mud blob with no wings and no horn looked up at her. “But you're only two years older than us.” Jubilee.
Sweetie Belle bit her lip to keep herself from chuckling out loud.
“Are ya stuck or do you need help getting' out?”
The winged blob looked at the other two, mischief in his eyes. “We need help.”
“Yeah. Totally,” the other two added. Morning Glory shook her head and reached out a hoof to who Sweetie Belle now understood to be Dark Cloud. In turn, he reached for her with both of his hooves and gave a mighty tug, pulling her down into the mud with them. She yelped in shock and the three converged on her, making sure to get her just as covered as they were. Glory protested at first but joined in on the mud fight quickly, her complaints turning to laughter as they launched hooffulls of mud back and forth at each other. Sweetie Belle watched for a few minutes before stepping into sight and clearing her throat. All four young ponies froze and looked up at her.
“Uh....” said Lucky Star. “Hi, Sweetie Belle.”
“Hi!” Jubilee exclaimed. Dark Cloud just waved with a sheepish grin on his face.
Trying to act mature and save some face, Morning Glory climbed from the pit and shook her coat. It didn't do much. “Howdy, ma'am. I was just tryin' to get these young'uns up outta the mud an' I must've slipped.” Dark Cloud rolled his eyes. “You headin' up toward Sweet Apple Acres?”
Clearly Morning Glory did not remember her. It was to be expected, Glory had been just a tiny filly back then, but it still stung a little. “I am,” Sweetie told her. “I'm looking for Apple Bloom. Or Applejack, or Rainbow Dash. Or anypony that lives there, really.”
Glory looked worried. “Is there a problem? Is it one of the twins? I knew I shouldn't have let them run off with their friends like that. Mama an' Daddy are gonna kill me!”
“No no,” Sweetie Belle assured quickly. “I'm...I'm an old friend.”
Relief flooded Glory's face. “Thank Celestia. What did you say your name was?”
“Glory, this is Sweetie Belle,” Lucky intoned. “She's staying at my house.”
“Oh, right. You know, I feel like I've heard your name before. Yeah! Aunt Apple Bloom and Aunt Scootaloo have talked about you. Actually, now that you mention it I've heard just about the entire family talk about you once or twice before.”
Sweetie Belle smiled slightly. “Apple Bloom and Scootaloo used to be my best friends.”
“Original Crusader!” Jubilee exclaimed.
“That's right. Actually, I knew your mom when she was pregnant with you, Morning Glory. I used to go up to the main house and sit with her sometimes. I liked to sing to you when she was asleep and nopony else was around.”
Morning Glory gave a crooked smile. “I remember Mama sayin' somethin' about that one time. So you're that filly.”
“I'm that filly. Just grown up I guess. Is anyone home?”
“Mama's at work so she's down at the cottage. Daddy an' Aunt AJ are out in the field somewhere. Dash is probably workin'. Or nappin' somewhere. But Aunt Apple Bloom should be home.”
“Clover said she lives at the main house now, right?”
“Yes, ma'am.”
“What about Granny Smith?”
Glory blinked. “Granny Smith died a few years back.”
“Oh.” Sweetie Belle frowned. “I'm sorry to hear that.”
“You can go on up if you want. I don't think Aunt Apple Bloom will mind.”
“Thank you, I think I will.” She walked carefully around the mud hole and looked back at the Crusaders as she went. Glory took a running leap to make a huge splash when she joined them once more. All Sweetie Belle could do was laugh.
Sweet Apple Acres was exactly the way she remembered it. The fields looked the same, the orchards in the distance, even the main house itself. The path down to Applejack and Rainbow Dash's house looked a lot more warn but that was a good change to see. As Sweetie Belle got closer and closer she could feel the butterflies in her stomach intensify. Out of everypony to visit, this was the one that carried the most weight. Apple Bloom wore her heart on her hoof and it was part of the reason why Sweetie Belle always felt closer to her than Scootaloo. They could share a lot more and connect on a deeper level. Scootaloo always had a wall up. Even with her two best friends she'd only let them get so close before either sarcasm or humor kicked in to push them away. She knew now that it was a defense mechanism, something Scootaloo needed at home for self preservation. And while it had gotten better on the farm she'd never really let anyone in. Not even Rainbow Dash.
Pausing before the steps of the porch, Sweetie Belle took a deep breath. It was too late to turn back now. With more trepidation than going out on stage in front of crowds of thousands, Sweetie Belle climbed the stairs and knocked on the screen door, peering inside through the open house door. “Hello?”
“Hang on a sec! I'm halfway in the ice chest!”
The voice sounded far away and muffled, and Sweetie Belle realized Apple Bloom must have been in the basement. She turned away from the door to walk across the large porch and gaze out over the farm. The year she awakened to her magic they'd had a colossal snowball fight after a particularly heavy snowfall. She, Rainbow Dash and Bic Mac were against Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Applejack. That was one of her fondest memories. That and her late night talks with Applejack. After moving into the new farmhouse it didn't take long for she and Applejack to grow close. The earth pony became the first adult she'd go to if she ever had a problem, even before Rarity.
“Sorry 'bout that. Had to put the ice cream away before it melted.”
Sweetie Belle turned as the screen door swung open and a beautiful yellow earth pony stepped out onto the porch. Her red hair was longer now, worn in much the same way Applejack wore her hair. Though where an elastic should be in her mane was her signature red bow. She'd lost the chubbiness of youth and was now taller, leaner and definitely more muscular. And she recognized Sweetie Belle. It was obvious by the way she simply stopped and stared.
“Hi, Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom wasted no time but rushed over to the unicorn and wrapped her forelegs around her in a tight embrace. They didn't say anything for a few minutes, just held each other and remembered all the times they'd played together, did homework together, oftentimes got in trouble together. The years apart didn't matter and they both knew it. They were sisters through and through, and overjoyed to see one another.
When the embrace was finally broken both mares had tears in her eyes. Sweetie Belle laughed when Apple Bloom reached up to dry her friend's face. “Look at you,” she drawled quietly. “You're gorgeous.”
“And you're not?” Sweetie Belle hugged her again and they both laughed. “I don't know why I was so scared to come and see you.”
“Scared? What for? It's just me.”
“But I've been gone so long and I never wrote or...”
“You're here now.” Apple Bloom smiled at her. “Can you sit a spell?” When Sweetie Belle nodded Apple Bloom grinned. “Good. Then let me go get us some cold cider.”
Six empty bottles of cider later, the two were laughing together over memories. “An' do you remember that time there was that huge storm comin an' everypony was here an' we spiked Twilight's cider with tobasco, not knowin' she was drunk?”
Sweetie Belle giggled. “How could I forget? She ran into the wall and practically bit her tongue off. And then we decided to see if Zecora could come to make her better.”
“An AJ was so mad!”
“Oh, and Fluttershy yelled at us when we got back!”
“As much as she could ever yell at a pony.” Apple Bloom shook her head, a fond smile on her face. “We had some good times, didn't we?”
“We certainly did.”
As the laughter between them calmed some, Apple Bloom looked at her friend. “Have you been to see Rarity yet?”
Sweetie Belle sighed and shook her head. “No, but I will. I wanted to see you first. And Scootaloo, if she's around.”
“She's around somewhere. When you go, do you want me to go with you? To see your sister, I mean.”
“No no...no, I need to see her by myself.”
“I understand.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, watching birds as they flew past, bees that flew from flower to flower. After awhile, Sweetie Belle's brow furrowed. “So I saw Silver Spoon today.” This made the earth pony laugh and brought a smile to Sweetie's face. “What happened there?”
Apple Bloom shrugged, still chuckling. “She grew up just like we did. They got into it one day, I don't even know about what, but Diamond Tiara moved to Canterlot soon after an' Silver Spoon's been a different pony ever since. She's actually okay to be around now.”
“Seriously?” Sweetie Belle blinked. “She wants to put together a sort of class reunion so we can all get together.”
“I think that's a good idea. But not tonight. Nope, tonight I'm makin' a big supper an' we're gonna have us a big ol' family reunion.”
“I'd like that. A lot.”
Something flew overhead and Apple Bloom left her chair to go look. Sticking her bottom lip between her teeth, she let out a sharp whistle. “Hey Archer! You seen Scootaloo?”
The blue pegasus nodded out toward Ponyville, clearly not even recognizing Sweetie Belle as she came down to talk to Apple Bloom. “She's probably sleeping in town. Need me to get her?”
“If you wouldn't mind.”
Archer grinned and shook her head. “Not a problem. I love being the one to interrupt her peace.”
As Archer took off, Apple Bloom sat back down beside Sweetie Belle. “So who have you seen so far?”
“No one, really. I'm staying with Twilight and Clover so I've also met Lucky Star and his friends. Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
“Two point oh,” Apple Bloom added smartly. “I was tellin' 'em about the things we used to do an' what we used to call ourselves an' Dark Cloud decided they should be the next generation. I kinda think it's cute.”
“I do, too,” Sweetie Belle admitted. “I also saw Glory. Big Mac is going to have his hands full when the colts start noticing her.”
“Oh yeah.” Nodding in agreement, Apple Bloom grimaced. “It's pretty obvious that Dark Cloud's got a thing for her. Thing is she doesn't even realize how pretty she is. She's one of those types.”
Sweetie Belle quirked a brow. “You mean she takes after her aunt Apple Bloom?”
“Nah. I ain't pretty. I never was.”
“Oh, okay. Are we going to have this argument again? How many years has it been since the last time?”
Apple Bloom set her jaw stubbornly. “You were the pretty one, I was the brains and Scoots was the brawn.”
“Apple Bloom, I always thought you were the pretty one. Honestly.”
She looked at Sweetie Belle with a small smile. “You're my sister an' my best friend. You have to say that.”
Sweetie was a bit taken aback by the statement and stared at Apple Bloom. “You...still think of me as your best friend?”
“Now until forever, sugarcube.”
An orange mare dropped from the sky and landed on the path that led up to the house. With her short cut dark pink mane and light purple eyes it was hard to mistake her for who she was. Both mares on the porch stood, though Apple Bloom was the first one off the porch and received the full power of Scootaloo's ire. “This had better be important. I was having one of the best dreams I've ever had.”
“It is,” Apple Bloom insisted. She stepped aside so Sweetie Belle could step forward and Scootaloo froze.
“Hey, Scoots.”
The pegasus narrowed her eyes and gave Sweetie Belle a very obvious once over, then looked at Apple Bloom. “I thought you said it was important.”
Apple Bloom blinked. “Scootaloo...it's Sweetie Belle!”
“I know who it is.” She returned her angry gaze to the unicorn. “The pony I thought was one of my best friends, who was like a sister to me, who LEFT me and never even looked back.”
Sweetie Belle flinched as if slapped “Scootaloo, I...”
“Save it for somepony who cares. I have better places to be.” Without another word she took to the air and headed back for Ponyville, leaving Apple Bloom speechless and Sweetie Belle wounded.
Scootaloo's reaction to seeing her had Sweetie Belle feeling off kilter. It had been unrealistic of her to hope the pegasus would greet her as warmly as Apple Bloom had, though she'd hoped Scootaloo would have at least stayed around long enough to hear an explanation. With the muddy children returning to the farm, Apple Bloom slipped easily into her role of aunt and Sweetie Belle excused herself, promising to return for dinner later that night.
As she walked back toward town she couldn't help but glance skyward in hopes to see Scootaloo. All she wanted was to be able to have a conversation, to explain why she stayed away for so long and why she had to leave in the first place. Her heart hurt, recalling the fire in Scootaloo's eyes when she looked at Sweetie Belle. There had been nothing there to suggest they'd once been friends, called themselves sisters. All she'd seen was anger.
Her hooves pounded out a slow and steady rhythm as she walked onto the bridge over the river, but she stopped at the crest and peered over the edge. The water was as clear as it always had been, the trickling sound of its lazy current against the grassy shore a relaxing familiarity. It reminded her of simpler times before she knew what real heartache was, what loss felt like, and what growing up really meant. Her eyes filled and her vision blurred. But she would not let herself cry. Not here and not now. With a strong silent resolve, Sweetie Belle pushed her emotions down and gave a shake of her head. What good would crying do her? It certainly wouldn't make Scootaloo any more friendly toward her, that much was for certain.
Sounds of an approaching cart to her right made Sweetie Belle turn her head. Two stallions were headed her way pulling a wagon full of wood. She moved herself to the side to let them pass, one of the stallions nodding his thanks at her as they went on their way. The small interruption to her thoughts served its purpose; Sweetie Belle took a deep breath in and headed into town.
Her first stop was at Sugarcube Corner in hopes to find Pinkie Pie and say hello. Instead it was the Cakes she found. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were overjoyed to see her and she got to see Carrot Cake and Pound Cake, the twin foals she remembered not even being able to speak really before she left. Now they were both just about the size she had been her last day in Ponyville, neither of them having their cutie marks yet. Sweetie Belle stayed to talk for a little while, then left when the afternoon rush started.
There was nowhere else for her to go now. All of her favorite places in town had been seen, save the library and that she was saving for later. Her gaze wandered as she tried to decide where to go next. The boutique still stood tall and proud, its doors open to the fresh air. Sweetie Belle swallowed hard. It was time to stop avoiding the unavoidable.
Her hooves seemed to move of their own free will as she headed to where she knew her sister would be. It had been far too long since she'd spoken to Rarity, though out of anypony here Sweetie knew her sister would be the most understanding. They'd shared so much, been through so much together. But it wwould be hard to come up with the right words to say when she was finally there with her and able to say them. Her walk turned into a trot that took her right past the boutique and into the outskirts of the town where the grass was a little more plush and less walked upon. Only those who needed to mourn and remember went out there and she was there to do both.
Small headstones marked the landscape in that particular area of town. They were as much reminders of who was gone as they were memorials and markers. Though she'd only been there once before, Sweetie Belle knew exactly where she was going. Past the giant oak tree, down the path to the left of the headstone with the purple heather carved into it, and straight back to the stone with three perfect diamonds set into the top. Below the gems was a name and an epitaph that read, "We can only be said to be alive when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. Let it be forever remembered she was always a diamond to us."
Sweetie Belle read the words over several times before settling her gaze on the elegant script that spelled out her sisters' name. Rarity. Never had she met a pony more aptly named.
"Hey, big sis." Her voice was soft, almost as if she was afraid to talk too loudly here. "Long time, no talk. I'm sorry about that. I've just been so busy with different shows and there was never a good time to take off and..." Sweetie Belle trailed off and sat, head hanging. She didn't speak for a moment, just sat there and breathed, trying to keep her emotions under control. After a time she simply shook her head and gave a quiet laugh. "I guess I don't really know what to say. I just feel..." She shook her head again. "I feel a lot of things, I guess. Things I've been trying not to feel for a really long time." That familiar lump of sorrow formed in her throat. "I miss you. A lot. I miss you so much sometimes that it feels like I can't breathe and then I just get angry." Her eyes closed as tears formed. "I'm so angry with you." Sweetie Belle's bottom lip quivered and when her eyes opened there was hurt in them. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Why didn't you tell any of us? Why did you have to be so stubborn and so cruel? Do you know how much that hurt? To know that you knew you were dying and wouldn't let any of us be there for you? Especially me! I'm your sister, Rarity!"
A cold wind blew across the cemetery and Sweetie Belle lifted a hoof to cover her face as she cried. For so long she fought the anger she'd felt toward her sister but now, being here with all her memories staring her in the face, it was impossible to not feel anything. She hurt so much yet at the same time felt like she didn't have a right to fell that way. Deep down she knew Rarity had been protecting her by not telling her how sick she was and part of her understood. But there was still a little filly inside of her that ached and felt betrayed.
"You were supposed to be here for me," she sobbed. "You were supposed to watch me grow, be there when I got my cutie mark, sit in the front row of my first show and you weren't there for any of that! I hate you for that! I hate you for being selfish! I hate you for leaving me! I hate you for leaving me alone!"
"You're not alone, sugarcube."
Sweetie Belle hiccuped on a gasp and turned her head to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash off to the side. Just like Twilight, the two mares had aged some but didn't look all that different. Applejack still wore her trademark Stetson and Dash's mane still had that look of perpetual dishevelment. The unicorn got to her hooves and ran to them, immediately enveloped by both of them in a tight familial embrace. With them there hold her, Sweetie Belle felt safe and let her tears flow freely. All her hurt, all her anger and resentment came through as she was held, nuzzled and comforted by the two mares she'd grown to think of as parents when she was smaller.
"Let it all out," Rainbow Dash whispered in her ear, running a hoof down Sweetie Belle's mane.
"It's all right now," added Applejack softly. "We've got ya."
Through her tears Sweetie Belle felt a shift inside of herself. It was like a wound she'd had for so long, one that had been covered by something unhealthy had been exposed again and given the chance to heal over the right way this time. She clung to Applejack and Rainbow Dash until she was out of tears and too exhausted to cry any longer. When she pulled back Applejack lifted a hoof to brush the hair from Sweetie Belle's damp face, a sad affectionate smile on her face.
"I'm sorry," Sweetie Belle whispered.
"What're you sorry for?" Rainbow Dash asked with a small frown. "You have every right to cry, Sweetie. Rarity was your sister, your family."
"But you're my family, too. And I just left you. I never told you why, where I was going. I just left. Rarity...she was sick. I was selfish."
"No," Applejack argued, pulling the unicorn in for another embrace. "You were hurtin', sugarcube. We knew that. We were real worried about you but we always knew where you were and what you were doin'. If you'd ever gotten into any real trouble you bet your buns we would'a been there to get you out of it."
Sweetie Belle pulled back and looked between the two. "You...you did?"
Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest proudly. "You forget, the most awesome Rainbow Dash has fans all over the place." A quirked eyebrow from Applejack deflated her a touch. "Okay, maybe I should call them friends. More like acquaintances. But the thing is you were never alone. We always had someone looking out for you. I mean, you were our..." Dash looked at Applejack, expression softening as her gaze returned to Sweetie Belle. "You were ours."
"I missed you both so much." Sweetie Belle wrapped her hooves around Dash's neck. "I don't care about blood, you two were and always will be my parents."
"Do me a favor then?" Dash asked, squeezing her in return. "Tell that to the big apes who won't let us backstage to see you?"
Sweetie Belle laughed thickly as she let Dash go. "You got it."
"C'mon," Applejack urged. "We can go visit Rarity together."
As the three mares walked slowly back to where Rarity had been laid to rest, Sweetie Belle between them, the unicorn shook her head. "I've been so mad at her for so long." She looked at the headstone again, lips pursing. "I hate that I'm angry. I don't want to feel that way."
"You haven't given yourself permission to mourn." said Applejack wisely. She touched a hoof to Rarity's headstone with sadness in her eyes. "We've all been here the whole time. We had to accept the loss an' figure out how to keep on goin'. But we also had each other to help us through the rough days. You never had that."
"I tried to just forget," Sweetie Belle admitted. "It was easier to pretend I wasn't hurting than it was to let myself feel and really acknowledge the fact that she was gone. Like if I pretended it never really happened and if I never came back here or had anything to do with Ponyville I could make myself believe that she was still alive and okay. The lie was easier to believe than the truth."
"It always is," Rainbow said softly. "But you're here now. What do you feel?"
Sweetie Belle didn't answer for a minute, just stared at the gray stone, the diamonds, the beautiful curving words that encapsulated her sister so well. Moments ago she'd felt sad and angry. Now she just felt... "Hollow."
"That's a good place to start," said Applejack. "Now that you got all the junk out we can start fillin' in some of that hollowness with love. You can start rememberin' all the good stuff about your sister an' how much she cared about you. 'Cause you know she loved you more'n just about anythin', right?"
"I do." The unicorn sniffled. "She was so beautiful, wasn't she? And so strong."
"And stubborn," Dash added.
"Was she ever," Sweetie agreed with a laugh. "Trying to ever convince her she was wrong about anything?"
Applejack snorted. "That was a losin' battle."
They each smiled tenderly, memories of better times when Rarity was alive and healthy giving them warmth. She'd been such a big part of their lives and there were so many wonderful things to remember about her that Sweetie Belle felt her anger ebbing away with each breath. "I remember when I first went to live with you, I thought it was because Rarity didn't want me around." Rainbow Dash nuzzled Sweetie and she smiled sadly. "I know now she was just protecting me. And she knew you guys would take care of me."
"She loved you so much," Applejack told her.
"I know. I hope she knew how much I loved her."
Dash nodded. "I know she did."
They stayed there in silence together for awhile as the rest of the world went on around them. Memories that brought laughter were shared and Sweetie Belle felt like she could breathe easier for the first time in a very long time. Being there with Dash and Applejack, their support and obvious love for her made it a little less impossible to think of a future that had nothing but joys. And when the sun started to sink, Applejack took a deep breath in and stood to stretch her legs. "I reckon we should get back to the house. Apple Bloom said we're havin' a family reunion tonight."
"Oh, that's right!" Sweetie Belle had nearly forgotten but the reminder almost had her excited. "Can I walk back with you?"
"Of course you can, sugarcube!"
Rainbow Dash, already in the air, pointed down a way. "Hey, look! There's Pinkie!"
Following where Dash indicated, Sweetie Belle looked to see a pink pony with a very rounded middle. Her poofy pink mane was tied back in a ponytail and her lips were curved into a gigantic grin. "Is that Sweetie Belle?!" Despite obviously being rather far along in pregnancy, Pinkie bounced across the cemetery, between headstones and bushes, to give Sweetie Belle the biggest hug yet.
"Cant. Breathe."
Pinkie pulled back with a giggle. "Whoops. Sorry about that. I was just so excited to see you!"
"What are you doing here?" Sweetie asked with a laugh.
"Oh, I came to visit Braeburn."
She thought quickly and remembered that was the name of Pinkie's husband, Applejack's cousin. Sweetie Belle gasped softly. "Oh, Pinkie Pie. I'm so sorry. You must miss him terribly."
"Not too terribly," she admitted gleefully. "I just brought him and Lance a snack. They're fixing the fence over there."
She pointed back along the way she'd come from and sure enough there was a blonde stallion wearing a cowboy hat and another, smaller stallion with a white coat and blue mane working on a broken fence. Blushing in embarrassment, she realized they were the two that had passed her on the bridge, pulling a wagon full of wood.
"Well I feel silly now."
Pinkie giggled again. "You were always silly, silly." She looked at Dash and Applejack. "Still on for tonight?"
"Better believe it!" said Applejack with a grin. "We're headin' to the house now to get ready.
"Then we'll see you there!" Pinkie turned to bounce away, singing to herself as she went.
"Come on," said Rainbow Dash to Sweetie Belle once the party pony had gone. "Let's go home."
Authors Note: I kind of avoided writing this entry for awhile because I knew it would make me cry. April has always been a hard month for me because it was the month in which one of my very best friends took his own life. Sweetie Belle's feelings toward Rarity here, her anger and some of the things she says are very much my own thoughts. Most of them I've dealt with but I still have some anger. Though Justin wasn't sick he did make me believe life could not be better for him. I didn't know he was sad, I didn't know the extent to which he was hurting. And I was angry at him for a really, really long time. So this update is particularly emotional for me, and I hope you all enjoy it.
After a long and emotional day, Sweetie Belle was happy to be at the reunion Apple Bloom threw together. Sweet Apple Acres was very much alive with the sounds of music, talking and laughter. Morning Glory helped Apple Bloom make a nice big salad, Applejack provided the drinks, Pinkie and Braeburn brought lots of dessert, and Clover and Twilight brought a dessert coffee mixture for those who wouldn't be drinking the cider. Memories were shared and new stories were told. For the first time in longer than she could remember, Sweetie Belle felt comfortable. She felt like she was home. As they all ate dinner together, she sat beside Spike, who now stood a little taller than Big Macintosh, and talked of long past days. While Fluttershy shared a story of a chrysalis she'd found that morning out by her old cottage, Dark Cloud stole a bite of Morning Glory's bread and honey, which lead to her chasing him both on hoof and in the air.
Luna showed up after the dishes had been cleared, and a game of hoofball was started with all the stallions playing, Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Luna and Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle watched from the porch, sitting happily with Twilight and Fluttershy. “What a lovely night,” said the quiet pegasus as she peered up at the stars.
“It really is,” Twilight agreed. The next generation Crusaders were on the front lawn with the twins and Glory. Pinkie Pie was down there as well, trying to explain the rules of some game to them, a stern look upon her face. It made Twilight laugh. “When I was that pregnant you were lucky to get me out of bed, let alone hoofing around with a bunch of crazy kids.”
“Oh, I know,” Fluttershy agreed. “It was all I could do to get upstairs at night.”
“Pinkie's always been pretty unconventional though,” Sweetie Belle giggled. Her attention went to the hoofball game, her smile turning wistful. “How is it possible to go from feeling like I haven't been here in ages to feeling like I never left? All in one day?”
Twilight frowned. “I noticed Scootaloo isn't here. Have you seen her?”
Sweetie Belle nodded and sighed. “I think she'd rather pretend I didn't exist anymore. It's probably easier for her that way.”
“But she was one of your best friends,” said Fluttershy quizzically. “Why would she want to do that?”
“Scootaloo didn't let anypony in. I think she was always afraid of them leaving her or just not caring about her anymore like her parents did. And then when we all moved into Applejack and Dash's house we stopped being best friends and became sisters. As much as she ever could with anypony, she let the four of us in. And then I left.”
“But she must realize you left because Rarity...”
“Maybe,” Sweetie Belle said, cutting Twilight off. “But maybe not. You never knew Scootaloo like Apple Bloom and I did. Behind that tough persona of hers was a very fragile pony. All it would take was one crack in her armor to break her. Once she knew there were ponies that really cared about her she would have done just about anything to hold onto that. I feel terrible that I hurt her but there's nothing I can do about it if she won't talk to me. She made it very clear today that she's written me off.”
The three mares were silent for a few minutes, staring out and watching the games without really seeing them. It was Twilight who broke the silence what a question all three of them were pondering. “How long are you staying?”
“I don't know,” Sweetie Belle answered quietly. “Originally I figured on a few days. Now? Now a part of me doesn't want to go.”
“Do you have to leave?” Fluttershy asked timidly. “I mean, you could stay if you wanted to, couldn't you? Unless you really don't want to of course.”
“I don't know what I want if I'm being honest.”
“Well it's not a decision you have to make tonight,” promised Twilight. “And no matter what you decide you know this place is your home.”
“It took me awhile to remember that but I know that now.” Sweetie Belle watched with a giggle as Spike tackled Big Macintosh and got the ball away from him. “You know what? That looks like fun. I think I'm going to go join them.”
Twilight and Fluttershy watched the young unicorn trot across the field and jump, catching the ball in her teeth to intercept a pass from Spike to Applejack. “She's changed so much,” said Fluttershy quietly. “Not in bad ways, I mean. She's just an adult now. Not the same little Sweetie Belle we used to know.”
“She had to grow up pretty fast,” Twilight said. “A lot of fillies wouldn't have been able to do what she did, leaving at such a young age and making a life for herself.”
Fluttershy smiled. “Like Rarity did.”
“Like Rarity did,” Twilight echoed. “I hope Sweetie Belle knows how much Rarity loved her.”
“I think she does.”
“I know she's a big star now but I can't help but hope she stays.” Twilight watched the way Clover and Sweetie Belle worked as a team to score a touchdown. “It broke Clover's heart when she left before. I think he always thought of her like a daughter. Not that he doesn't love having a son, but I knew from the beginning he wanted a little girl. I know how happy it would make him.”
“It would make Applejack and Rainbow Dash happy, too. And Apple Bloom, of course.” The twins climbed the porch steps and walked over to their mother with sleepy eyes. Curling against Fluttershy and each other, Fluttershy smiled down at them. “Sometimes I think there is no stronger bond than that of sisters.”
Twilight nodded. “I'd have to agree. Though I never had any biological sisters the rest of you became that to me. I don't know where I'd be without you all.”
Overhead, an orange pegasus shot across the sky and landed directly in the middle of the hoofball game, pulling everyone playing up short. She looked directly at Sweetie Belle and said, “Club house, five minutes,” before taking off again. Sweetie looked at Apple Bloom and the earth pony nodded with encouragement. Sweetie Belle tossed the hoofball to her friend, then headed away from the game and into the woods in the direction of the Crusaders' childhood clubhouse.
It was certainly no surprise to see Scootaloo standing on the open deck of the clubhouse when Sweetie Belle broke through the trees and into the clearing. She stopped to get a good look at her old friend, something she hadn't really been able to do before. The pegasus stood tall and proud in the moonlight, her wings tucked into her sides and her fuchsia mane and tail windblown and unkempt. But she was beautiful even disheveled as she was. Long, lean and well toned. It wasn't hard to imagine how many stallions sought for her attention.
With a deep breath in, Sweetie Belle trotted across the grass and up the ramp that would take her to the balcony. At the sound of her hoofbeats, Scootaloo turned around to watch her ascend with brows drawn. “You have five minutes.”
Sweetie Belle blinked, confusion on her face. “Five minutes for what?”
“Five minutes to tell me why I'm wasting my time talking to you right now. Five minutes to explain to me why I'm the one feeling guilty when it was you who left and not me.”
“Scootaloo...”
“You are such a jerk, Sweetie Belle! You just up and leave without so much as a goodbye, don't write or come home ever and then you come back after you're this big stupid singing pony and expect us all to drop what we're doing and hug you and talk about the good old days like nothing ever happened? Like we can pick up where we left off?”
Sweetie Belle didn't even open her mouth. There was a lot of anger in her friend, most of it probably well justified, and it was time she got it out. Even if it meant going off like she was on Sweetie Belle.
“Maybe Apple Bloom, AJ and Dash can wax sentimental and just forgive you for abandoning them, but I can't.” There was fire in her eyes and her tail lashed behind her. “Wasn't it you who made us promise that we'd always be friends no matter what?”
“We were kids-”
“That doesn't matter!” Scootaloo exclaimed, stomping a hoof. “We were kids when you left, too. Like you didn't even give a flying feather about us.”
“My sister died,” Sweetie Belle argued thickly. “What did you expect me to do?”
“Let us help you! For Celestia's sake, we were a family, Sweetie Belle! Yeah, okay, your sister died. That really sucks. But to have you just shut down and shut us out the way you did? How did that ever feel like it would be okay to do that?”
“I was hurting! Everypony knew Rarity and knew she was my sister. There was no place I could go where some pony or another wasn't telling me how sorry they were for me, or saying how much they loved Rarity and would miss her, or offering me condolences. I couldn't take it!”
“So you just ran away?” Scootaloo shook her head. “That would have made sense if it was me because that's what I do. But you? You were the goopy, gross 'I love you forever and ever' pony who would do anything possible to cheer a pony up or help them if they were hurting.” Sweetie Belle looked down and Scootaloo's loud accusing tone softened some. “Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Waking up that morning to see your bed empty and a stupid note on the table for all of us to see? Did Apple Bloom tell you how she was so upset that she couldn't stop crying for almost three days? Did AJ tell you how depressed she got or how Dash turned into this crazy pony after you left who worked almost all the time and seemed to avoid being at home for too long?”
Tears welled in her downcast eyes and Sweetie Belle shook her head in shame. “No.”
“Because they didn't want to hurt you. That's the difference between them and me.”
Sweetie looked up, pained. “You want to hurt me?”
“I want you to feel just a fraction of what I felt. Of what we all felt.” Scootaloo took a step forward, unmoved by the tears of the unicorn. “After awhile I got why you left. I even empathized with you because I figured you'd at least write if you didn't come back. But you never did either. You just left us behind as if we didn't matter.”
“You did matter!”
“How were we supposed to know that!” Scootaloo scowled. “Geeze, Sweetie Belle. I mean...not even a letter to say you'd gotten your cutie mark or that you were on Bridleway. Nothing.” Her voice softened to a conversational level but there was still pain in her tone. “You have to know how that felt for me. Before you and Apple Bloom, I had nopony. I lived with a mother and father who'd just as soon forget I even existed than pay attention to me, and when they were paying attention to me it was to tell me what a disappointment I was. And then I found you two. You made it worth getting up in the morning, actually kind of made me look forward to going to school. Then when we all moved in with Dash and AJ it was like...wow. For the first time in my life I could associate family with warmth, and love, and real genuine affection. Didn't you feel like we were your family?”
“You know I did,” Sweetie Belle answered tremulously. “Being there on the farm, living with all of you was like some kind of fantasy for me. My parents were never here. Never. All I had was a big sister who was forced to play mom and still try and run a business. So having two parents and siblings? Of course it was a family to me.”
All the ferocity in Scootaloo seemed to fade out and her frame sagged slightly. “Then why did you leave?”
“I don't know,” was Sweetie Belle's whispered reply. “I was just so sad and there was nowhere I could go to escape it. So I guess I thought, selfishly, if I left I wouldn't have to deal with it.”
“It was selfish,” Scootaloo agreed. “We were all sad, Sweetie. But we were there for each other and helped one another get through it.”
“I'm sorry, Scootaloo.” Neither of them noticed Apple Bloom coming across the clearing. Sweetie Belle took Scootaloo in with a pleading gaze. “Are you ever going to be able to forgive me?”
“I want to. I want to be able to forgive you. I hate being so angry at you.” Scootaloo shook her head. “I just don't think it's something you can apologize for and then we move on like nothing ever happened.”
“I'm not asking for that. Really, I'm not. I know it's unrealistic. I'm just asking for a second chance. Or maybe a first chance since we're both so different now.”
Scootaloo frowned thoughtfully. “Are you sticking around for awhile?”
“If that's okay with you.”
She nodded. “I guess it would be okay. Where are you going to stay?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Probably with Clover and Twilight. If they don't mind.”
Scootaloo snorted. “It's they don't mind, please. You know Clover thinks the sun and moon shine out of your...”
“He does not!” Sweetie Belle giggled which made her friend chuckle. With a small smile, Sweetie Belle looked at her. “I'm glad you're not yelling at me anymore.”
“Me, too. My throat was starting to hurt.”
“Can we hug now?”
“Ugh.” Scootaloo made a face. “Fine, let's get it over with.”
Apple Bloom came up the ramp to witness her two friends share an embrace. With a grin, she joined in. “Does this mean we're all best friends again?”
“Not quite,” said Scootaloo as she broke the group hug. “We still have to get to know each other again.” She looked at Sweetie Belle with a tentative smile. “But we'll always be sisters.”
“Always,” enthused Apple Bloom.
“Always,” Sweetie Belle repeated tenderly.
Scootaloo looked at the side of the clubhouse and sighed. “You know, I haven't been inside this thing since we were kids.”
Apple Bloom opened the door and walked in. “Well get on in here, then. The place hasn't changed much.” She knew right where the matches were and made quick business of lighting the lanterns. Soon the entire clubhouse was basking in warm light. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo went inside, both immediately hit with memories of better, simpler times. Adventure planning, talent show preparations, the Rainbow Dash fan club meetings, the love potion gone wrong. So many nights they'd stayed out here just giggling and talking about all the ways they could get their cutie marks.
“I told the Crusaders they could use it so long as they didn't mess nothin' up.”
“You put a lot of hard work fixing this place up,” said Scootaloo.
“Darn tootin'! No way I was gonna let them in here if they were just planning' on destroyin' it all.”
Sweetie Belle sat on the familiar rug and smirked at Apple Bloom. “Hey, Twilight told me how you threatened Cheerilee when Morning Glory started going to school.”
Scootaloo looked at the earth pony with interest. “You never told me that!”
“It was no big deal,” said Apple Bloom with a wave of her hoof. “I just wanted her to know under no uncertain terms that if my niece ever came home cryin' because somepony was bullyin' her she could expect to see me at her front door bright an' early the next mornin'. She wouldn't need caffeine to wake herself up, I tell you what.”
“And how's that been working out?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Apple Bloom grinned. “She's come home smilin' ever single day.”
“Oh my gosh,” said Scootaloo. “Do you guys remember that one time...”
Outside on the deck, Applejack and Rainbow Dash peered in through one of the windows. They were quiet as they watched the three young mares settle down together and laugh over fond memories. And suddenly it was like time had reversed. They could picture the tree of them: little Apple Bloom, shorter than her best friends, Sweetie Belle a little rounder, and Scootaloo, entirely more energetic. They were laughing then like they were laughing now. Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash with happy tears in her eyes and nuzzled the pegasus. “We got our girls back.”
“Yeah,” said Dash with a soft smile. “We got our girls back. Come on, let's let them have some time alone.” As the two walked back toward the farm, tails entwined, they could hear the laughter of their girls behind them and knew what it was to feel like a complete family once again.
