1
I plunked myself down at the usual table. Fiddleblossom was already there, but at least I'd managed to beat Nemmie. On a sunny afternoon, this outdoor cafe was the nicest place in Ponyville, and today was a sunny afternoon. I'd made sure of that. It's good to be a weather pony.
Fiddleblossom nodded at me. “Sundrop.”
“Hey, you,” I said. “How's the harvest?”
Fiddleblossom smiled—well, not a smile exactly, but you could see it in her eyes, if you knew her. “It's good. There's a lot of work to do.”
The waiter came by with our drinks. We didn't have to order; we got the same thing every time we came here, which was every Friday since forever. For me, rum punch in an oversized tumbler with a paper umbrella. For Fiddleblossom, white wine in a long-stemmed glass. For Nemmie, a bubbling green concoction in a chalice of blackest onyx, blacker than the very night itself.
“Busy, huh?” I said, taking a sip. Sweet and smooth, with a kick like a mule. “You call in some hired hooves?”
“Some.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That include the Apple guy? The big one, with the eyes?”
“Macintosh.” She smiled.
“Yeah, him! Are you gonna make your move, or what?”
There was the clink of rusted chainmail as Nemmie took his seat beside us. “Honestly, Sundrop,” he rumbled. “You keep talking about this pony. Perhaps you should go after him.” His voice was like stone grinding against stone, perhaps the portal to an ancient tomb as it was forced open by something long forgotten.
“Nuh-uh,” I said. “I've sworn off men, after last time. Besides, Fiddleblossom would never forgive me.” I looked to her. “Isn't that right?”
She just smirked and sipped her wine.
That was as much of an answer as I was going to get. I moved on. “How about you, Nemmie? Any luck with that vampire queen of yours?”
He slumped. “I don't want to talk about it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That bad?”
“Worse.”
“Aw, Nemmie.” I rested a hoof on his shoulder, or at least his pauldron, a spiked thing of blood-red steel. “I told you she was bad news. Girls like that will just lead you on and suck out your life-essence.”
“She was different!” he said. “We had something! But then Celestia cast her into the Tenebrous Nether. I won't see her again until the stars align.”
Even Fiddleblossom winced at that. “Aw, Nemmie,” I said again.
He stared into his sulfurous drink, toying idly with the chalice.
“Nemesis,” said Fiddleblossom. “What about your Spirit-Link Orb? Maybe you can stay in touch with her that way.”
He shook his head. “You know how much I hate long-distance relationships. It'd be Nightmare Moon all over again. I can't do it.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes work just pulls you apart. You gotta know when to let go.”
All was silent, save for the quiet sounds of the town and a faint otherworldly keening, like the echo of a long-dead scream, from somewhere inside Nemmie's cloak.
“I know!” I said. “What you need is a good cheering up. I'll ask Pinkie Pie to throw one of her parties.”
“Sundrop!” said Fiddleblossom. “Bad idea. Elements of Harmony.”
I blushed. “Right! Right. Sorry. Forgot.”
“It's fine.” Nemmie waved a hoof. “I'm not in the mood for something that big, anyway.”
“Oh!” I perked up. “We'll keep it small, then. Us, Shoeshine, Maisy May, Lord Doomwing, and Caramel.”
Fiddleblossom wrinkled her nose. “Not Maisy. She'll bring her boyfriend, and you know what he's like.”
“Alright, not Maisy. Just the six of us. Sound like fun?”
“I suppose,” said Nemmie.
“Good! My place at nine.”
Someone was shaking me. I was in no condition to regain consciousness. I mumbled something without any vowels and curled up tighter.
“Sundrop.” Fiddleblossom's voice was soft, but still plenty to make my head throb. She shook me again. “Sundrop, visitors.”
I forced myself upright and stood there, blinking. At least I was in my own bedroom. Fiddleblossom pulled back the curtains. It was almost noon. The light hurt my eyes. Fiddleblossom had made it through the night unscathed, of course. She nudged me towards the door.
The house looked how I felt. My friends slept sprawled across couches and chairs. Drinks and snacks covered every flat surface. Somehow we had acquired a very large tub of jelly.
There was a knock at the door.
I pulled it open. “Hello,” I said, although it came out more like “Gh.”
Before me stood Her Royal Highness Twilight Sparkle, Princess of the Realm, Savior of Equestria, The Spark of Friendship, &c &c. On her brow shone the Element of Magic, roiling with power such that even I could feel it straining against the confines of its prism, straining to escape, straining to lash out at all that was not good and pure. Behind her were arrayed her companions, heroes surpassing any the world had yet known, likewise bearing artifacts of unfathomable potency.
“Gh,” I said again, and meant it.
“Excuse me,” said the embodiment of ponykind's hopes and dreams. “I'm looking for a pony named Nemesis. He fled after Celestia vanquished the vampire queen.” She tapped her forehooves together. “My tracking spell led here.”
Pinkie Pie poked her head forward. “Is there a super-duper evil villain in your house?”
“Uh,” I said. I glanced behind me, racking my brains for some sort of clever ruse. “Maybe.” It was the best I could do, under the circumstances.
Twilight Sparkle stepped forth and followed my gaze. Nemesis was draped across a sofa, a coffee table, and the floor. Cocktail sauce stained his gorget. Someone had drawn something uncouth on his face.
The living goddess looked from me to Nemesis and back. Her mouth worked soundlessly.
“Well?” came a voice from outside. It was Rainbow Dash, who was Loyalty incarnate, and Equestria's Best Young Flyer besides. Also, incidentally, my supervisor on the weather team. “What's going on?”
Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat. “Maybe we should come back later.”