The Transcredible Exploits of Captain Marshal Overlord Rain

by Skyekun

First published

A sort-of sequel to Raising Raindrops, following the Hooves household's newest member on a day of adventure, all without ever leaving the house! Do read author's notes first please, or you'll be very lost and/or terrified.

Raindrops seems to be settling into her new life among the Hooves family, if this day is anything to go by. When you're a big foal at heart anyplace can be magical with your imagination, and any situation can be cause to bring out the alter ego. Enter the baddest tough-as-nails space commander that Eqquis Prime has ever seen! Follow her as she seeks out the disappearance of all pony life on the planet! Marvel at her quick thinking, her razor wit, and her lightning reflexes! Tremble before her powers of deduction! Are we overselling it? Probably, but don't let her hear you say that!

A follow up piece in the Raising Raindrops universe with a much goofier premise and much lighter tone, expect silliness to abound. You should really read the first one first or you'll be extremely confused. Check out the author's notes as well before starting for warnings, please.

Chapter 1

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Last reminder! Author's notes first!! You've been warned!

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The peace and tranquility in the Hooves household was shattered by a bird. It was a loud bird, and one with a particularly annoying song at that. Rather than something beautiful and lilting and varied, it was the same four notes over and over again. Every three seconds. It took a short while for a sleepy, annoyed groan to sing out in response as a pony began to stir.

An aquamarine bed headed mane slowly poked out of a cocoon of covers enshrouding the body resting on a little fold-out cot. It was a teeny bit cramped, but the pony in question had found that when wrapped up extra snug and tight in her favorite sheets and blankets she slept like a baby. Reflecting on this very thought elicited a tiny giggle from said pony; that analogy was oddly fitting for her. Weakly kicking her back hooves, the jasmine pegasus began trying to dislodge herself. She was so darn comfy though!

“Mmmmmgh, m’gonna shut you up, birdie..” She mumbled softly, wriggling a little more. “Too early for this mess-” Any further discourse with the bird outside was cut off as she toppled sideways out of her cot and onto the floor. On the bright side, the loud squeak had been enough to frighten the bird away. Slowly sitting up, the pony groaned and sighed with a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Smooth Raindrops, smooth…” After a second a devious smile came to her face. “Whelp, no sense not milking this for all it’s worth…” Taking a deep breath, Raindrops braced herself and then let loose with a mighty wail.

“MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYY…!!” It was a yell loud enough to wake the dead, and one that should have had a certain somepony scrambling for the room… But nothing. Not a sound in the house. Raindrops blinked a few times in confusion, then sunk down in place and sulked.

“Where’s the fun if she doesn’t come running? Eep! Dinky!” Her attention whipped to the larger bed in the room, one which should have been occupied by a much smaller pony, namely Raindrops’ sister. Nothing. The bed was neatly made and nopony rested within. Satisfied she’d not blown Dinky’s ears out at least, Raindrops finally dislodged herself from her blankets and carefully rose to her hooves, stretching a little and waggling her rear with a little giggle. She dropped her head, looking down and backwards between her legs at the rather thick and foalishly printed diaper she was wearing. The funny crinkling noise it always made was a source of endless amusement (and embarrassment on occasion) to her.

By now it should be quite clear to any observers that this was not an average pony household. A full grown mare, dressed as a foal, sleeping in a filly’s room, and screaming for her mother would likely conjure up a respectable list of ‘Oh Celestia what is wrong here?!’s, or perhaps a few ‘Sweet Discord kill it with fire!’s instead. At the very least an average pony would recommend the homeowner receive a visit from Foal Protective Services, but the whole story was a little more complicated than one might think.

The Hooves household did indeed contain one Derpy Hooves, Ponyville’s resident mailmare and mother to Dinky Hooves, Ponyville’s resident frontrunner for cutest foal (according to Derpy, at least). It also was home to Amethyst Star, or Sparkler to those who knew her, Derpy’s adopted daughter. Raindrops was the newest edition, and in spite of being Derpy’s best friend and in her age range, she was treated like the youngest.

Raindrops… Just never grew up. There were few better and simpler ways to put it. Bouncing from job to job and failing at every turn, the poor pony had found herself mere days away from eviction when Derpy stepped in. A little kindness and a shoulder to cry on coupled with an unusual encounter about town with a couple living an.. alternative lifestyle, had left Derpy with the idea that Raindrops needed a second foalhood. And of course, Derpy was just the mother her friend needed. It had taken a little coaxing but Raindrops had fallen into the position of family foal like she’d always belonged there, and the warm treatment and love she’d received from the whole household had gone miles to repairing her secret wounds and lonely heart. It was barely over a month since she’d moved in but already she found herself quite taken with bottles, bibs, bubble baths, bedtime stories, binkies, and plenty of unalliterative foal things as well. Aside from exceptionally rare accidents (she’d been ticked, honest!) her diapers were nothing more than a source of comfort and security to her, something reminding her that her family loved her dearly, like her plot was being hugged all the time by them.

She gigglesnorted. “Plot…” Another immature giggle at the notion followed as she bounded for the doorway, intent on searching the house. On a normal day she might spend a little time playing with Dinky, perhaps with some of their building blocks or coloring books. She was rather fond of hanging out with Sparkler too, but she’d gotten in trouble more than once for rooting around in her ‘big’ sister’s room uninvited… And besides, Sparkler’s music was usually loud enough to announce her presence there even through a wall. Naturally Derpy wasn’t home, for she’d have come running by now if she were in. That left a certain big foal home alone, with a mystery to be solved no less!

Drops skidded to a halt, frowning a little bit. There was only one pony big enough, brave enough, and tough enough for this job! It was time for an adventure, but first she needed her communication device. Searching the room quickly she found it, hopping back over to her bed and snapping up her pacifier from her pillow where it had dropped out overnight. Popping it in her mouth brought a goofy smile to her face and a small coo of happiness; something so simple and silly was at the same time infinitely comforting to her. All set to go, she headed for the door once more, waddling just a teensy bit thanks to her attire. Drops crouched low as soon as she hit the hallway, slinking down it toward the kitchen first.

“First contact… I’ve been dropped into a ghost town, home base,” she lisped around her pacifier, err, comm. device, to nopony in particular, eyes darting around rapidly as her imagination went into overdrive. The warm inviting house, painted soft pastel tones under Celestia’s midmorning sun, was changing in her mind’s eye to reflect a scene of muted colors and desolation. It was a wasteland, long since abandoned by ponykind for reasons unknown to her now… She was one of the last of her species, the brave Captain Marshal Overlord Rain, dropped in from space station COT-1 to discover the terrible truth behind the abandonment of Equuis Prime.

“I’ll never survive down here without an enviro-suit,” Raindrops whispered frantically, her tail flicking back and forth in worry as she crouched there in the hall. “The air could be toxic…! What if there’s a… A pathogen, and it turns me into… Ummmm… Into an adult…!” Her eyes widened in horror! “Oh the equinity! I’d be reduced to… Doing taxes! And drinking coffee, and talking about what was in the paper this morning!” Reeling wildly, the overgrown foal plopped on her padded rear, then toppled onto her back with a soft thump, hugging herself with her forelegs and sucking harder at her pacifier for comfort. Getting into character was hard sometimes, but she had to push through it.

“No… No! Get a hold of yourself, Captain!” She berated, shaking her head to clear it. “Those thoughts are unbecoming of an officer of your station, now get a grip! You have a mission, and you’ll be court-martialed and spanked if you fail from cowardice!” Rolling over again, the brave captain pressed onward to the end of the hall… She didn’t spare a glance at the living room, not yet. She needed to suit up, and fast. Taking a deep, gasping breath and tucking her wings extra tight to her body, Captain Rain leapt heroically for the entryway into the kitchen…!

“Ooof..!” She fell short by a good yard, landing on her tummy. Not wasting a heartbeat, she scrambled the rest of the way in and pressed her back against the wall. Wriggling on her padded backside, she finally took a good look around at her new environment. “I’m in a giant warehouse, base,” she intoned softly, gazing about the cabinets and appliances in wonder. “It seems to go on forever…” And it did, the kitchen shifting and changing before her very eyes. The cabinets stretched and warped, graying into dull gunmetal to match the cavernous walls around her… Tiny can lights hung high overhead, as big as Captain Rain’s body but so far up that they looked barely bigger than pinheads. Here and there were strange, incomprehensible looking devices in whites and reflective steel and satin blacks, dials and switches with uses of which she could only fathom. Some were the size of her hoof, some around the size of her body, while others seemed big enough to fly a spacecraft into. Slowly rising to her hooves, the captain began her journey into the dimly lit depths.

“Base, do you copy?” Captain Rain muttered into her comm. device, clipped to her ear with a mic running to her jawline. “My dropsuit is in tatters, all that’s left of it is enough rags to cover my modesty.” She chanced a glance back at her hindquarters, the remnants of her snow white thermo-insulated waterproof dropsuit clinging to her barely. “My scanner’s not picking up any signs of viruses and the air is breathable, but I’m not taking any chances. This warehouse could be airlocked and running on scrubbers and recyclers. First priority is an enviro-suit, second is a means of defense if possible. This place is huge, it’ll be like finding a needle in a haystack…” She glared a little as she trotted deeper in, eyeing every looming shadow for potential threats. “Thing with that is, finding that needle always hurts when it sticks you too. I’ll have to be on my tippy-hooves. Over and out.”

The captain moved quickly, years of training and miles of forced marches in the Academy bolstering her endurance as she braved the depths of the abandoned warehouse. It was a labyrinth of piled boxes and crates, devices, shelves, and tarped objects. Slinking through the shadows, Rain began to hurriedly search as she moved on and through. She knew better than to stay still, on the off chance that she really -wasn’t- alone. She knew the feel of being alone though, deep in her war-hardened soul… Captain Rain had been in situations like this before, all alone and against all odds, but she never backed down from a challenge and the mission always came first. That’s how a hero was, and she was a hero’s hero.

Rain followed standard breach and clear when opening larger crates, keeping her back to something solid at all times and checking her flanks. One of the longer, thinner ones revealed a veritable weapons storehouse. Her eyes widened as she took in the cache; combat knives were just about the only thing familiar to her trained eye, the rest were so alien in form and probable function that ever her stomach turned a little. These were too dangerous to be used, and she reluctantly scrapped her secondary objective in light of this discovery. First rule of exploration – don’t use something that could do more harm to you than to somepony, or something, else.

Other crates and boxes contained heavy armor, which she rejected for being far too clunky for quick and speedy movements. Rain likely had many miles to cover in pursuit of the truth, and being weighed down in reinforced metal and ceramic plate was more of a liability than an asset. She passed by what appeared to be mechs, transports, and staff vehicles long fallen into disrepair – most seemed to be little more than parts now. Near the back of the warehouse she struck paydirt, or at least she thought so.

“Base, this is Overlord, do you copy?” She opened the line again, standing before a giant white chamber. Part numbers could just barely be made out, worn by the ravages of time, and any further language seemed to have been purged by the ages entirely. It looked as though different levels comprised the bottom, while a large chamber with a transparent door awaited higher up. “I believe I’ve found my objective, looks like one of the old model enviro-mods I’ve seen in the archives. I just need to get up and in and I’ll be good. Over and out.” The captain wasted no more time reaching out and jamming the button to start up the contraption – a set of stairs was designed to open out, allowing her up into the chamber set above. There she would be scanned and fitted with a suit of skintight protective gear, perfectly designed to withstand anything the outside world could throw at her.

There was a problem though. It wasn’t starting. Scowling, she jammed the button again. And again. “Argh! So that’s how it is, huh? Fine! Two can play this game!” Spinning around to the side, Rain took only a few moments to spot a small panel, and a swift kick sprung it open to reveal a glowing interface. The captain was a skilled hacker, naturally. She began to override the defense protocols protecting the machine and its prize… The first level sprung open within moments, allowing her access up a level. Beginning to climb, she repeated the process at a second panel. This one was a little trickier, the gears inside grinding and groaning from disuse but finally yielding to her skilled hooves. After one more level of security the top was open, revealing a small room just big enough for a pony to stand and turn around in. Rain edged in carefully, her guard up.

The translucent door slammed shut behind her, but her blood was ice and her nerves were steel. This was how these things worked anyways. A green optics grid began scanning the captain’s body, head to hooves and flank to nose, after which a shiny material began to mold itself over her from the floor up… It felt cold at first, but Rain held fast and waited the process out. It took a few minutes, but soon she was securely encased in a silvery blue enviro-suit which conformed to her every movement. Checking herself over, the captain nodded once in approval, turning and hopping back down.

“Base, first objective complete,” Rain intoned as she quickly moved back out into the warehouse. “Weapons are a bust, so I need to secure rations next. It could be a long journey and I doubt there’s much to eat out there in the wastes. Once rations are a go I’ll be moving to the primary objective of scouting the landscape and discovering just what happened here, over and out.” The deep shadows were like old friends, and she became one with them as she hurried through the facility. She knew for certain that food stores would have to be close to the living quarters, and those would almost certainly be accessed the edges of the warehouse, probably at the back. It didn’t take long to find what she was looking for.

Pulling up short, Rain stared at the two massive blast doors of riveted steel; one was cold storage and one was room temperature according to the worn labels, though both were sealed airtight and climate and humidity controlled. Food stores in a place like this could stay fresh for centuries… The captain couldn’t help but wonder how long this place had been abandoned, how alone she truly was… She suppressed the pang of melancholy, beginning to hack the cold storage first. The door yielded with little difficulty and three ration packs were quickly liberated from its massive stores. Even if other ponies were there, a small inconsistency in the supply logs would surely be overlooked. Next came the second storage bay, however a problem quickly presented itself as the captain hacked the controls and the blast door receded into the wall.

An alarm klaxon blared, and from all around the edges of the door a pressurized blast of white powder erupted outward at Rain before she could even react. Leaping back too late, she coughed and sputtered in a vain attempt to dislodge the stuff from her lungs… She looked up, fear gripping her heart. Had she just been poisoned?! Her powerful, rational mind wrestled the fear into submission as she drilled her memories for the answer.

“That… Was a sterilization procedure,” she coughed out as it dawned on her, old protocols coming back with a little thought. “It keeps pathogens out of the storage facility, of course. Rookie mistake, I should have been ready for that possibility…” Rain ventured in once her coughing had completely subsided, securing a few more ration packs. These looked a little different than the first ones, probably designed to fulfill different nutritional requirements. A quick scan of the packaging confirmed that they were edible by her species at least, although the taste may leave much to be desired. After a short debate she consumed them all, reasoning that the road ahead could be quite treacherous and it would be best to eat in the relative safety of the warehouse. In the end they were far better than Rain was expecting, bringing back to mind a simpler, happier time spent among other ponies, so long ago. The hardened veteran allowed herself an even greater luxury, and a small but genuine smile crossed her face for the briefest of moments. A short time later the impromptu meal was consumed and it was time to move out again. A whole world was waiting outside this lonely warehouse after all, an empty one full of questions which needed answers. Captain Marshal Overlord Rain was going to get to the bottom of this mystery. There was no better pony for the job.

Chapter 2

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The giant bay doors leading into the outside world positively dwarfed the captain as she stood before them resolutely, head held high and a look of fierce determination on her face. Anything could be waiting out there beyond the confines of the warehouse, and while she’d gotten the barest of glimpses during her mad dash for shelter, this was going to be the real deal. She would press headlong into the unknown, confront it, and uncover the mystery of what happened to the ponies who once resided here.

‘This could be my greatest challenge yet,’ Rain thought to herself as she strode quickly for the recessed control panel at the edge of the doors. ‘I cannot afford failure, no matter the cost. First goal, I need to find some sign of civilization. Ponies must have moved beyond this storage facility, there has to be a civilian encampment somewhere nearby. I’ll have to find some kind of road and follow it.’ A swift kick dislodged the panel, and with her superior hacking skills the lockdown was overridden in no time. Alarm lights and sirens blared as the heavy, gargantuan doors began to slide apart, and Rain moved toward the widening gap to get her first solid glimpse of the outside world.

Stepping outside, the captain was greeted with dust. It blew inside, carried on a brisk, sharp wind that failed to cut through her enviro-suit but chilled her to the bone anyhow. Her jaw hung just a little; this world was dead. Rust red dust covered everything as far as the eye could see, interspersed with slate gray boulders half buried by erosion and time. Here and there dead, petrified trees dotted the landscape. They were only a few ponies high, their thin spindly branches reaching for the cloudy sky like grasping fingers. They drew Rain’s eyes up to the cloud ceiling above her, which locked her in like a mottled gray and red prison. The world was nearly monochrome, and she felt a shiver up her spine at the lonely desolation of it all.

“Sun and Moon above, give me strength,” she whispered, letting one rare sign of weakness show through her ironclad nerves and her unrelenting will. She reached up and flicked on her HUD, the enviro-suit’s internal CPU whining to life as the screen of her helm lit up with data. It quickly triangulated approximate distances to key points around her, highlighted anything deemed a point of interest, and labeled anything known to the internal registry. An emergency warning flashed almost immediately, making her frown.

“No satellite uplink… Base, this is Overlord, come in.” Silence met her hail. “Base? Base!” She grimaced and stamped a hoof, sending up a light plume of dust. “Blast! It looks like I’m on my own then, I can’t even get a patch through to our servers to compensate for the failed linkup… I’ll have to make due with the onboard data and hope for a solid signal later. Let’s just hope the satellite’s out of range and not down for the count.” She snorted softly and set off into the unknown, leaving the relative safety of the warehouse behind her.

Rain knew the wisest course of action was to travel straight forward as much as possible. It was unlikely that the road, had there been one under all the dust, would wrap around the giant warehouse. Traveling straight off into the distance would give her the best chance of spotting something. She kept an eye on the numbers on her HUD; the horizon was several miles away, a small mountain range of weathered round peaks in the great distance. If she looked a bit to her right, the range terminated in a massive mountain, bigger than anything she’d ever seen before. Rain stopped short for a moment, taking it in with a muted gasp of awe. It was a feat in itself that she’d yet to notice it. It seemed to rise up in stages, as tired and weathered as the rest of the range but defiant in its own right, continuing to push up as it spread out, looming to heights that her HUD could not even register an estimate of. Something like that could be seen from space, she imagined. That thought made her pause.

“Wait… The largest mountain in the Equestrian heartland is Canterlot Peak. That mountain is the wrong shape entirely, and what’s more it’s far too big…” Mounting horror filled her as she called out into her comm. device sharply. “Base! Base, copy! I need coordinates for my current location immediately! Barring that, I need coordinates for my dropship landing site! I suspect I’ve been dropped in off course, likely a great distance!” Silence again met her orders. Growling, she switched to the emergency frequency and tried again, only to be met with static.

“Great… I’m lost, too. Really, really lost. Now I have to figure out where I am and what happened to everypony.” Rain set off again, updating her mental checklist of objectives and lamenting that she lacked a more advanced suit which could track them for her. A pity she had little more than a thin biohazard casing keeping the elements out. A better suit could also negate a little of the gravity, allowing her to walk easier. As it was, the thick dust was making every step a bit like slogging through ashes and snow. It adhered just enough to itself and had just enough weight to make movement a strain after a while. The captain had yet to cover much ground, but she knew that would change.

Hours passed. With the unending clouds overhead it was hard to tell, but the HUD’s internal clock now read 2:03, listing out the time passed since activation. Rain’s legs burned with exhaustion but she pressed on, lumbering and marching over dunes of thick dust and around rocky outcroppings. She could feel the inside of her suit was damp with sweat, making the journey all the more uncomfortable, but there was nothing she could do about it. The wind had yet to abate, either. In fact as time passed it had grown worse, and Rain was facing down the beginnings of a dust storm. She picked her pace up, panting softly. There was no point in it as she had no concrete destination, but she had to keep moving. She kept her thoughts from wandering, trying to focus on the mission. It was too easy to think of other ponies, loved ones in times long past… Of her possible end here in the dunes, swallowed whole and buried till the ends of time. She tried to count her hoofsteps, the simple cadence of her haggard march something concrete for her mind to focus on, but after hundreds of paces even this faded into mental static to match the red-bleached world around her.

The wind had picked up into a full blown dust storm by now, howling in fury as it clawed at Rain and tried to break her. Red flashes of text and emergency readings popped up time and again on her HUD, trying desperately to warn the wearer of the folly of being out in such conditions. The captain grit her teeth and pressed onward, her pace slowing to a mere crawl against the brutal onslaught of nature. She had to find someplace to ride this out, she knew it… Even a pony of her caliber would fall to this storm before too long.

Like a lifeline thrown to her in a hurricane, a green pulse of light flashed across her HUD. Her gaze snapped to the circle it was painting on screen. She ignored the text, commanding it to zoom for a better view. The resolution was terrible, but there was just enough of a break in the storm for the system to detect unnatural formations barely a mile away in a shallow valley. They looked like buildings! She’d done it, she’d found a city! Rejuvenated by her find Rain double timed and pressed on, nearly tumbling down a nearby embankment and struggling against the storm as she made for the site. It was taking all of her strength but she was determined, and the will of a pony like Captain Rain was not something to be taken lightly. One hoof in front of the other, ignoring the sweat and fatigue and burning muscles, she pressed onward. It took just under a half hour of effort, but finally the outermost building loomed into view and she threw herself through the closest open doorway, letting blissful exhausted sleep overtake her. The journey had been long and arduous, but she could wait it out here and search for help and answers when she awoke.

As Rain slept, she dreamed. Memories of a life long since left behind drifted through her subconscious hazily, warm summer nights spent with family in the back yard. Her head rested against her older sister’s side as they gazed up at the stars together, their other sister beside them in the grass. Her mother brought them all drinks, and watched with a kind smile as her two youngest chased fireflies together. A meteor shower drew their eyes to the majesty of the heavens, and together they reveled in the sublime.

She dreamed of lazy weekends about the house, playing tag until they collapsed in a fit of giggles. She was so carefree back then, so happy, her heart was free and soft and warm. Her oldest sister would distract their mother while the two youngest tried to filch ice cream, but in the end they would make four bowls and all would share. Her face always ended up the messiest, and she would laugh and laugh at it, they all would. Those days were like another life now, lost in the sands of time and the hazy depths of memory.

Darker dreams made sleep turn fitful, thoughts shifting to times of sadness and loss. A world against her, a pony struggling for every shallow victory and every almost-failure. Her heart was heavy inside, but she could never show it. She chased the very dreams she secretly doubted, and longed for the things out of her reach. Despair clutched its icy claws at the recesses of her soul, encroaching in on her, threatening to turn her cold and rigid as ice inside…

Rain awoke with a start, heart lurching as she gasped and sat bolt upright. Instinct took over and she leapt back against the nearest wall, eyes scanning for any signs of danger. There was nothing, a plain empty room of soft shadows and a single dusty doorway leading out into the quiet world beyond. She shivered and banished the receding dreams back into her deepest subconscious where they belonged, focusing on the here and now instead of on the once-weres and might-have-beens. Rising back to her hooves, Rain shook the light layer of dust from her suit and began the task of critically examining the place she had found herself in.

The walls resembled nothing she’d seen on any space station of pony make, or in any city or base she’d been stationed at. Most military institutions were out-of-the-box type deals, made to be constructed quickly, be utilitarian and functional, and able to be disassembled with little difficulty. The walls here were not uniform, instead bearing slight waves and wobbles to them that were mirrored by waving inlaid lines and patterns. Moving closer, Rain inspected one of the nearby patterns and determined that some form of translucence could be passed through them. Though dead now, it seemed that the walls were designed with lights build right into them.

Rain frowned a little, circling the small room slowly and thinking. Civilian outposts did tend to have their own flair and architecture, usually based on long-held cultural standings of the planet or the settling subgroup… But this was the pony homeworld! She knew the designs of the buildings here, she’d grown up on this planet! But… She was off course, perhaps she’d come across a small outpost belonging to an unknown cultural group. That thought was comforting, but the captain could not banish the quiet sense of unease growing in her stomach. Something was not right here. She made for the door and rounded the edge of the building’s exterior, keeping close to the side. The sight waiting for her beyond was enough to make her stop short and gasp once again.

She was on the main road of a small city, skyscrapers stretching up toward the dead sky above. Windows were busted out here and there, and the street was coated in a thick layer of red dust which seemed to be the one great unifying factor of the world. But the buildings themselves… Rain had never seen anything like them. They almost looked organic; twisting, angular spires that jutted out oddly here and there, some listing to the side, some with strange ledges halfway up, others with sheer tops and hunched antechambers at their bases. The predominant color was a dull blue-gray, but there was much more to them than that. Here and there were brighter patches, rounded half-spheres of sickly green or violent red. Elsewhere jutted out long, narrow spines of pale yellow. The truly damning part however was the language.

Carved right into the buildings themselves were characters of a language Rain could not even begin to guess at. Looping, sharp, and complex symbols ran vertically up the sides of the skyscrapers, driving the thin razors of disquiet deeper into her veins as the unease in her gut blossomed into full-grown alarm. Rain knew, she just knew, that no pony culture on the planet wrote like that. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.

Her leg muscles snapped and sprung like pistons as Captain Marshal Overlord Rain bolted at full gallop down the street, her mind in overdrive and her body reacting to match. She looked quickly back and forth at each passing locale, trained eyes scanning for patterns and likely functions before discarding each in turn. She needed to find the center of this settlement, or a government or official office! Something, anything that would clue her into the reason for this place. Her hooves beat out a muted rhythm against the dusty road as she tore along wildly, her attention snapping ahead and something loomed in the distance. It wasn’t big, but it was right at the crossroads in the center of the small city. Details began to clear as she drew closer, as did her mounting horror. The captain skidded to a halt, staring in mute shock at the object before her.

It was something that must have passed for art, somehow. But the ‘how’ of it eluded the viewer in every possible manner. The odd angle and strange patterning of the buildings around her were taken to the extreme here, creating something that could only be considered grotesque. Warping, bent angles that seemed near impossible met with structures that seemed to vaguely suggest the shape of a living thing, albeit it in a profane and twisted fashion. Rounded, bubbled shapes terminated in sharp, bent points. Jagged lines of strange metal were thrust through things in menacing fashion. The “artist” must have truly been insane, Rain realized. It was more than that, though. No pony settlement anywhere would allow this in the center of it, dominating the social landscape! Unable to stare at the thing any longer Rain turned and opened the emergency hailing frequency, forcing down the icy grip fear was trying to take on her insides.

“Base! Mayday, this is a code red! I need immediate access to satellite positioning systems and a secure patch-through to Central Command, this is a Code! Red! This is not a drill, I repeat, NOT a drill! Do you copy?” Her earpiece met with static and the captain let a word slip which she would not repeat in polite company. The emergency line was completely dead. She had to think fast and work with what she had… Base was gone, she had no access to any military resources. The local satellites were down, all she had at her disposal was her enviro-suit…

“… Which is pre-loaded with basic data and local information!” She finished out loud with a shout of triumph. “Captain, you’re a genius! Computer! Access all local points of interest and display a map of Canterlot and all surrounding territory in a radius of 50 miles! Cross reference and triangulate local position based on any overlapping data, execute!” The helmet’s screen went slightly more opaque as the onboard CPU began to follow the command. Rain waited patiently, but after the first thirty seconds things began to grow a bit more tense. It must have been a much older suit than she’d previously-

ERROR: SEARCH QUERY ‘CANTERLOT’ NOT FOUND.

The captain’s blood ran cold as the bright red message flashed before her, taking up the whole of her vision. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she staggered back a step, dropping onto her rear as her back legs gave out. She shook her head a little, unable to accept what she was seeing.

“That’s… That’s not possible,” she denied softly, her tone growing louder and more furious as she grew more frantic. “That is NOT possible! Canterlot can’t be gone! Canterlot is Equestria’s heart, our WORLD’S heart, this isn’t possible! Computer! Access all global points of interest, display all and search for locale: Canterlot! Execute!” She waited as names began to scroll, faster than she could even read. They lasted far too short however, and her heart sank at the result of the search query.

RESULTS: 411 REGISTERED POINTS OF INTEREST, NONE MATCH SEARCH TERMS.

The home world of the pony race would have far more than 411 points of interest registered in the local database. In fact, at Rain’s last remembrance there were well into the millions. A small city or large town may contain that many, but globally? Not possible. And Canterlot was not among then, nor did any search terms arise with it in the name. It didn’t seem possible, but the captain was forced to accept the only logical conclusion. Iron resolve weakened at the revelation she sunk in place, eyes unfocused as she stared off into nothingness.

“This isn’t Eqquis Prime… I was sent to the wrong planet…”

Interlude: And Now for Something Completely Different!

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This interlude is not necessary to understanding the plot of the story, so if its content is not to your liking/comfort levels you're free to skip it!

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Elsewhere in Ponyville, earlier in the day and tucked away safely in the warm confines of a bright pastel room, a different story had been unfolding. The blinds were shut and the thin curtains drawn, but they weren’t enough to keep the early morning sun from bathing the room in a soft buttery glow. The searching rays cast their warm touch on a wide array of cheery objects, from a set of stacking rings knocked haphazardly over on the floor to a sturdy oak changing table against the side wall. A pink foldout dollhouse rested in the corner, its white roof glowing gently from the touch of morning light. The closet door was shut tight to keep the monsters in, but a set of cute minty green and white striped stockings hung from the handle, the wearer evidently too lazy to put them away properly. It looked like any good little filly’s room probably would, in spite of many of the items being a little larger than average.

The crib was one such item, resting just beneath the window against the wall opposite the door. The rear oaken bars were draped with a thick quilted pink blanket, an extra left there for chilly nights. The header and footer were solid panels, but even so the entire inside was surrounded by a soft piece of padding about two hooves high so the occupants wouldn’t risk bumping into the bars if sleep turned fitful. It also served as a handy way to keep the toys in, and there were many. The crib was packed with stuffed animals and toys of all description, all adorable and soft and snuggly and clearly well cared for and loved. There was a large lump covered in blankets in the middle of the crib… Two actually, depending on how one chose to group them, and part of this lump was stirring.

“Bon…”

More wiggling, but no reply came to the soft, sleepy utterance.

“Boooooon…”

A minty green mane flopped out of the snuggly warm covers, one honey eye peeking open a small sliver. Lyra Heartstrings was a comfy pony. Beneath the covers she was wrapped up in a very soft fleece sleeper, mint green to match her coat but in a slightly darker shade, and adorned with little yellow rubber duckies. They were fun for bathtime, she couldn’t help it. Her hooves weren’t covered by it, the sleeper ending in thick yellow elastic cuffs just above them, but that’s what the blankets were for anyhow! She let out a shallow whine, wriggling back against the pony holding her and curling up a bit more.

“Boooooon, wake uuuuuuup, come oooooon…”

“Lyra, we’ve both been awake for almost an hour now, stop fussing…” The other occupant mumbled a reply, the one foreleg draped over her companion pulling Lyra closer against her. Bon Bon had eschewed her usual desire for cute and comfy last night and was currently dressed in nothing more than a thick printed disposable, although this was cute enough in and of itself, sporting little teddy bears all along the tape with a larger one on the seat. She had been tired and Lyra had refused to dress her in more, but after a good night’s rest and lots of cuddling since daybreak she was beginning to miss her onesie. Leaning forward a touch she nuzzled into Lyra’s mane, breathing in softly and smiling warmly. Her marefriend even smelled like mint.

Lyra giggled a little, pressing herself backward teasingly, her thickly padded seat crinkling loudly against Bon Bon’s own attire even through the sleeper, making the other pony squirm and blush just a bit. Turning her head just enough to wink, she flashed Bon a playful little grin.

“You like when I’m fussy.” Bon Bon rolled her eyes, leaned forward and whispered back into her partner’s ear with a tease of her own.

“Did you squish just now, Little Miss Fussy?” It was Lyra’s turn to blush, looking away and huffing in embarrassment.

“Maybe a little…” Bon Bon giggled quietly, nipping at Lyra’s ear and whispering softly.

“My little bedwetter…” Gently turning Lyra around, she nuzzled her love before the couple shared a tender kiss, wiggling close to each other under the covers, limbs entwined in a warm and sweet embrace. The morning could have easily lasted forever just like that, the pair warm and safe and content there beneath the protection of their blankets, tucked away in the crib they shared, muzzle to muzzle and gazing into the depths of one another’s eyes. Few good things last forever though, and this was not to be one of them.

“We really should get up, lovey.” Bon stole a soft peck and smiled gently at her companion. Lyra sighed softly and nodded, stretching herself out, yawning loudly and cracking her back as she worked the sleep out of her joints. The slight dampness of her nighttime accident was mildly uncomfortable and more than mildly embarrassing. The couple had been spending more time like this before and during bed within the last month, exploring their interests more deeply together and enjoying the freedom they had to do so in the safety and comfort of their home. This had led to a minor problem for Lyra, as her body seemed to be slacking off at night sometimes. She didn’t honestly relish the thought of needing to wear diapers, as comfy as they were and as carefree as they left her to play and goof off and have fun. Bon didn’t seem to be having those problems at all, she noted as she slowly rolled onto her back, then over onto her other side as she continued to her tummy and sat up. She looked over at her better half, who was giggling at her antics.

“I didn’t know you did tricks,” Bon said sweetly with a coy smile, giggling some more. Lyra stuck her tongue out, stretching a little more as her tail flicked about behind her.

“I’ve got another one where I hop out of the crib and leave you in here till the afternoon, wanna see it?” Bon Bon for her part just giggled again, watching as Lyra reared up and fiddled with the latches, lowering the bars for the two of them. Her rear poofed out adorably even under the sleeper and Bon was tempted to swat at it but she refrained; she had to keep the teasing to a minimum or the pair really would be spending all day in bed. She crawled forward and nuzzled under Lyra’s chin lovingly, hopping down without further preamble and toddling for the door.

“You wouldn’t dare, you’d miss breakfast silly. Hurry up and shower so you don’t get a rash, I’ll make us some pancakes, kay?” She popped the door open and spared one last warm smile over her shoulder before disappearing out of sight, leaving Lyra still sitting there in her jammies in the crib. The mint pony’s brain took a moment to catch up, having been staring at her partner’s backside pretty much the whole way. She was almost certain her love had been arching her back just that extra little bit, had batted her eyelashes a little more than was strictly necessary, had smiled just a little wider when she spotted a soft blush gracing Lyra’s cheeks… She shook her head hard and scrambled down.

“Hey, wait up! I can shower and change later, pancakes come first!” Lyra went to leap from the crib but clumsily caught one hoof and tumbled to the floor instead, landing with a muffled ‘oof’ and needing a moment to stop the room from spinning. Pancakes were too important to play cry though, and she hopped right back up and darted for the doorway, everything else forgotten. “Boooon, I want chocolate chips in mine, the homemade ones!”

Skidding around the corner into the kitchen, Lyra stopped short and stared at what her partner was up to. Bon was currently dragging something out of the kitchen closet; it was tall, wooden, and painted bright white with cheery colored accents. Lyra knew exactly what it was, why it was out, and whose turn it was to use it.

“I want the high chair today,” she blurted out immediately with a light blush, meandering over the rest of the way. She knew better than to just try to climb in though, she’d be in the doghouse for a week for being that inconsiderate.

“Lyra, it’s my turn,” Bon replied with a little sigh, turning and starting to get pans and bowls out of the cabinets. “We do this every time, you always say I can have two turns in a row and I think I’m up to what, fourteen turns now?”

“Eighteen,” Lyra replied absentmindedly, wincing at her slip. Bon turned her head and gave her a baleful look, but it was lacking any real menace. Lyra smiled extra wide, trying to win her back. “See? I keep track! I’m still good for it!” Bon sighed heavily, shaking her head and starting to expertly make the pancake batter.

“I already know what’s going to happen if I try to fight you over it, don’t I?” Lyra took that as her cue. She shuffled over next to her love, toddling cutely and putting on her very best pout. Adding in a little sniffle, she caught Bon Bon’s gaze with her big, soulful, shimmering eyes and whined softly.

“Pweeeeeease Bonnie? I’ll love you forever…” Bon Bon knew she was finished, she could never resist that look and she could never bring herself to just close her eyes to avoid it either. Her insides melted a little and it took everything she had to not drop the bowl and give Lyra a big snuggle.

“… Fine, add it to the tab…” Sighing once more, she turned back to the pancake batter and began adding the chocolate chips. “Let it never be said that I don’t love you and spoil you…”

Lyra was already halfway into the high chair, giggling happily. She’d pay Bon back some other way; it might take a little thought to come up with exactly what, but if she did something extra romantic later in the week it would help. Maybe a giant bouquet of flowers, a trail of rose petals down the hall leading to the master bedroom where the bed would be covered as well… Scented candles lit, and Lyra waiting there ready to-

Being distracted did not lend itself well to climbing into a high chair. Lyra’s back hoof slipped and she nearly tumbled back to the floor. She squeaked loudly, gripping the chair for all she was worth, heart racing a little in panic of falling. Bon Bon heard this and turned quickly, concern on her face for the briefest of moments before she was her love hanging onto the chair with her rear literally an inch from the floor. Her face took on a deadpan expression.

“Please tell me you remember how to get in.” Lyra turned her head, looking at her love before looking to the floor. Realizing she was in no danger, she grinned sheepishly and slowly lowered herself down onto her rear.

“Of course I do! But… Ummm, maybe I was a little hasty, and you never get the chair and all… You can have it today, I was just playing earlier!” Giggling awkwardly and blushing just a touch, she hopped up and scooted off to the dining table and hopped up into a regular chair as Bon Bon just giggled and returned to cooking. She somewhat suspected that in her haste Lyra really had forgotten how to get herself into the chair, and it wouldn’t have been the first time she’d needed help. Bon opted to not push the issue though, cute as it was, and set to pouring out the batter into the pan. She did love to tease, but if she got distracted and burned the pancakes it would ruin the morning.

Lyra frowned a little, squirming in her new seat and trying to get comfy. She tossed her forelegs up on the table and dropped her head onto them, watching Bonnie cook idly as her mind wandered a bit. It was a little funny just how rigid and uncomfortable the kitchen chairs felt when she was in a diaper. It was like they were contoured wrong or something, even the extra padding beneath her not enough to make her really comfortable. Lyra suspected it might be mental; she felt little, but this wasn’t the kind of chair a little pony was supposed to be in, and her brain was reminding her of it with a sore bum. It may have also been because she needed a change, which just left her blushing mildly as she wriggled again. She had quite mixed feelings about that particular issue. On one hoof, she really did hate the times in life she had to be a mature, functioning adult. Soaking herself in the night did a lot to remind her she was far from being one of those. On the other however, it did signal a pretty large change in her body and Lyra worried a bit on how far it might go. Would she hit a point where she was playing, not really thinking about it, and suddenly find herself wet? It seemed like a slippery slope, and she was nervous about what she might find if she slid to the bottom. At least Bon Bon would still be there for her, she mused.

Lyra’s focus shifted to her partner, watching her idly as she flipped pancakes and hummed a soft tune to herself. ‘She really does have a beautiful voice, she should sing more often,’ Lyra thought to herself with a little smile. Bon was the type who didn’t act all that different when she dressed up. Even now as she cooked, she worked as though the thick, crinkly garment on her backside was nonexistent, paying her attire no mind as she prepared a meal for them both like a grownup would. When they were in the crib or playing with toys, Bonnie always seemed just a little more refined and composed than Lyra ended up. When they played games, she kept just enough maturity about her to seem not so much like a big foal, but more like a grownup playing dress up. She never really lost herself in the headspace of being little; it seemed instead like she enjoyed it because it was comfortable and because it made Lyra so happy. That thought nearly had Lyra sneaking over to steal a kiss, but she held back as a pile of pancakes was gently set in front of her. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up into her love’s eyes.

“You were a million miles away there,” Bonnie said with a soft little smile. A smile which quickly turned coy. “Enjoying the view, were you?” Lyra blushed a bit as she sat up, trying to blow it off.

“Just thinking. These look great by the way!” Her mouth watered at the aroma of breakfast, and she was just about ready to bury her face right in and make a complete slob of herself. Bon Bon giggled and softly pressed a hoof to Lyra’s chest.

“Easy there, silly. Don’t ruin your sleeper, you know how hard it is to get chocolate stains out.” Lyra squirmed a little at the reminder of that particular incident… Maybe a knife and fork would be okay today.

Bon Bon seemed satisfied and stole a little peck on the cheek before heading to the fridge and liberating the milk, swiftly filling two bottles for them. She deposited one by Lyra and then began the task of getting into the high chair, which she made look easy compared to Lyra’s previous effort. Once seated she adjusted the tray, hearing it snap into place, and then started to primly and carefully cut up her breakfast. Lyra watched out of the corner of her eye, suppressing a giggle. Bonnie was so exacting when it came to meals. She never got messy, always cutting things up into perfect little bites and making sure just enough syrup was on each forkful. Even now she looked just like a grownup pony who just happened to be in a diaper and high chair, mature as ever. This wouldn’t do at all.

Lyra hopped down, ignoring Bon’s curious look as she toddled over to one of the drawers. Opening it and digging below the dish towels, she pulled out one of their bibs from its hiding spot and headed back over. Bon had gone back to eating already, assuming Lyra had gotten it for personal use. She was therefore rather startled when her partner reared up on her back legs behind the high chair, leaning in close.

“Baby ponies need bibs,” Lyra whispered softly into Bonnie’s ear, giving the base a warm little kiss before nipping once. Bon actually squeaked, blushing just a bit and swallowing thickly as her sensitive ears were toyed with. Lyra grinned at her little victory, looping the bib over her love’s head and gently tying it on. “Much better, now we know you won’t make a mess of yourself,” she said huskily with a shark-like smile. Stealing one last kiss, she dropped back down and headed back to her own chair for breakfast, the meal made that much sweeter by Bonnie’s blushing. It wasn’t too often Lyra managed to get her in a position where she seemed littler than Lyra herself, but she rather treasured the times it did happen. The rest of the meal went relatively quietly, small happy sounds of satisfaction at the food interspersed on rare occasion with warm smiles or silly face shot between the two.

Once they were finished Lyra floated their dishes into the sink and then headed over to help Bon out of the high chair. She didn’t need it, but the grateful look on her face was worth it anyways. Lyra tugged Bon’s bib off gently and tried to nonchalantly wipe her own face with it, seeing as she needed it more than its wearer ever did. Bon Bon giggled and reached out to help, and Lyra groaned in embarrassment at her failure.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Bonnie said softly, a warm smile on her face. “Come on, let’s finish our bottles and then we really need to get showered and ready to go.” Lyra nodded a bit and withheld a sigh, floating their bottles along behind them as they headed into the living room side by side. Bon Bon pressed up against her, making sure the two were touching the whole way. Lyra blushed just a little and smiled as her partner nuzzled her cheek and down her neck. She could feel their flanks rubbing and hear the crinkling of it as they softly pressed together. Bonnie guided her right to the couch, hopping up first before lying down on her side and stretching out.

“Come on up, plenty of room,” she smiled lovingly, opening her forelegs up. Lyra noted there really wasn’t that much room unless they pressed close together… But that was clearly the point. Blushing a little and smiling softly back, she carefully clambered up and snuggled close to her love. They were nearly nose to nose, and Bonnie’s back legs quickly entwined with Lyra’s to keep her safely in place there on the couch. Lyra went to float their bottles over, one into each mouth, but Bon Bon stopped her.

“Nuh uh, I’ve got yours,” she whispered softly, reaching one hoof out and gently guiding Lyra’s bottle into her mouth. Lyra blinked once, giving her partner a curious look. The soft, loving look she got in return made her melt inside and she carefully took Bonnie’s bottle in hoof and gave it to her as well. Bon took it and began to suckle happily, gazing deeply into Lyra’s eyes. Her free hoof reached out and over Lyra’s back, holding her to keep her from falling off. Lyra found herself relaxing almost instantly, she’d been drinking without even thinking about it already. She leaned forward a little, bumping her muzzle against Bonnie’s softly and smiling around her bottle. Bon giggled just a bit, sighing in contentment as the two drank and cuddled. Lyra could feel one of her back hooves being rubbed softly with Bonnie’s own and she pressed herself closer till they were barrel to barrel, their diapers pressed up against each other’s pleasantly, legs entwined securely. Lyra’s whole world was her partner as she gazed into her love’s eyes, her one free foreleg wrapping around Bonnie’s as it held her bottle. As she suckled she found herself becoming lost in a warm, contented haze borne from love and security, one of her last clear thoughts being that this must have been the best bottle she’d ever had in her life. Everything about the moment was just perfect. Lyra’s eyes slid shut just a little as she melted, her mouth suckling on its own as she faded into the warm muted bliss between sleep and the waking world. Lyra didn’t know how long they stayed like that together, but she did know it could never last long enough.

“Lyra… Sweetie, we need to get ready,” Bon Bon whispered reluctantly to her partner after some time. Their bottles had since dropped out and the two had become entwined even closer now, Lyra’s head having found its way down to rest against Bon’s neck, with Bonnie’s head atop hers. Lyra’s response was a weak groan of protest as she snuggled tighter, pressing her muzzle more firmly against Bon’s neck and nuzzling softly.

“I know, I don’t want to either,” Bonnie translated easily, kissing between Lyra’s ears. “I’d rather lay here till the end of time, but we have plans, remember?” This did little to motivate Lyra, who only managed a little squirm in response.

“You knooooow,” Bon drawled out softly, leaning down closer and whispering in Lyra’s ear. “We’ve taken so long to get ready… I think we might need to share a shower to make up for some time.”

Lyra was up like a shot, off the couch with comical speed and halfway down the hall already. She turned her head, eyes bright and excited, a big grin on her face. She waggled her padded backside for good measure and called out happily.

“What’re we waiting for?! Hurry up Bon, daylight’s burning!” With that she was out of sight and into the bathroom, where the sounds of unzipping clothing and tapes tearing could be heard already. Bon Bon blinked a couple times, then giggled brightly and bounded up to follow. Some things in life were indeed worth getting up for.