War has hit Equestria, and us, the young stallions of this nation, have been called to fight. From enlistment, to now, this is my story.
We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, to kill the unfortunate, die for the ungrateful. So much has gone wrong in these past few years. Soldiers are alone. The majority of the population are against war all together; the minority just doesn't agree with this particular war. So much is unknown; why we're here, what's the motives, who is the enemy? I'll tell you who; it's us. We invaded. We fired the first shot. We killed the innocent. Everyday we see combat; every hour another body drops. Everything here is earned in blood, yet rewarded with disgrace. We hate what we do, the enemy hates what we do, the public hates what we do. Yet, we still fight. We still find reasons to stay. Only two things are gained here; death and insanity.
The time for war has come! Stallions aged 16 through 25 please report to the town center to enlist immediately! I repeat, come to the town center immediately! This is a direct order from Princess Celestia, herself!, the young mare's voice broke through the intercom, stirring a large commotion in our small town. We heard rumors of war, that soon Equestria would take up arms against the recently thwarted invaders. No one thought that anything would happen, though; I mean, why kick your enemy when they're down, right? Equestria, the symbol of harmony and peace, declaring war on another species? Almost sounded like genocide.
I remember the day we were called down. Roughly two hundred stallions had shown up. Waiting for us were three tables; three options. Option one, was to enlist into the infantry forces, which were split into two regiments; Celestia's Solar Army and Luna's Dark Marine Corps. Option two was only for pegasi, the Royal Air Guard had sent a Wonderbolt as a recruiter. The third option, which had the most males in line, was to sign up for Factory Duty; meaning that you had to pick up and move to where ever they needed laborers, and beyond that, to work six to nine in a cramped factory.
Seeing as how I'm not a pegasus, or a pussy for that matter, I chose the hardest out all of those options; LDMC. Even the softest recruits are transformed into the grizzled soldiers. After I signed all the paper work (all of three pages, one to state loyalty to Equestria, one that made sure I would show up for basic, and the last being a standard medical release form), I had to face the biggest obstacle of my life; telling my parents what I had gotten myself into. Breaking the news would be hard on both of my parents; my father raised me to never raise a fist unless someone else raised them first. My ma always taught me to diffuse situations; she never saw the need for violence.
What I failed to see before, was that behind the tables were barber chairs; decked out with electric razors and menacing looking ponies operating them. After the recruiter took my papers from me, he directed me into one of the chairs, and from there an apron was cast around me. In the matter of seconds, a faint buzz rang through my ears, and before I could say anything, my mane had been cut; the only visible hair was nothing more than stubble. The hair cutter grunted a low, almost bark like noise, and yanked the apron from my front. I took that as time to get up, and leave; no one stopped me. Two things happened, one I could feel the crisp wind on my skull, and two I became a little light headed. All the while, I was thinking of how to tell my parents what I had signed up for.
It was a little after 10 A.M. on Saturday, the seventh of October; the annual "Running of the Leaves" was scheduled for the afternoon. An, otherwise, happy day was ruined by the draft; every so often I passed a grieving mother, usually clinging to their sons. Tears, screams, and sorrow were littered at every corner, making me more and more nervous to tell my mom. If I'm lucky, she won't suffer a complete mental breakdown. FUCK why did this have to happen? The mare who raised me with amazing morals, who never once laid a hand on me, has to see her only son go to war... I-I don't want to cause her to cry... How the hell am I supposed to tell her? "Hey ma! Ya know I love you a lot, but I gotta leave and go to war!"...Yeah, that ain't going to cut it... I came back to reality, only to realize I was standing on the porch of my house. Ok, on three...One...Two...Three The door flew in, and slammed hard against the wall. "He-Hey Mom, you home?"
"In the living room, dear! I made your favorite cookies!, they're on the kitchen table!", she shouted back in a cheerful, almost melodic, voice.
I walked around the house, and eventually made my way into the living room. Everything was as it should be; my Mom was watching the daily news, and my dad was sleeping in his recliner. "Mom...turn the T.V. off." I sullenly commanded,
"What has you down, son?", she asked in a worried tone.
"As you know, the Princesses have declared war on the Changelings... T-the recruiters are already here, Ma... We're the first to get drafted.", I had tears rolling down my face as I watched my mom's usual upbeat, optimistic smile turn to a horrified frown, "They called all of us down about an hour ag-"
"No...No, they can't take you! You're just a colt... My special little colt...," she was already in the midst of an emotional breakdown by the time she went silent, "Whi-which branch did you enlist into? Please, tell me you signed a factory worker's contract!"
"Mom, I..." I took a large gulp, big enough for me to feel my Adams apple press against my skin,"I joined the Corps, Ma. I ship out in three days for basic. From there, I'll have to go to where I'm assigned."
"No no no no no no no no no! That's such a short time! Sky, wake up dammit! We're going to lose our son! We're going to lose our son! Dammit, Sky, stop him!," My mother quickly shook my dad until he woke up. He just looked on in confusion, still in a groggy state from sleep. "Celestia, don't you hear me? We're going to lose him! He's been drafted!"
My father, who rarely raised an eye at anything, looked like he had seen a ghost; his eyes were practically popping out from his head. "That can't be... The war, it was just a rumor, right?!? No, shit this can't be happening! Not to us, not in this little town of ours... No they couldn't have gotten to us this fast! Cascade, tell us that you're just joking, tell us that you're messing around... Tell us we're just sleeping, anything!" My father pleaded, on the verge of tears. The man who never changed facial expressions, not even when his own mother died, was about to break down.
"I...I wish I could tell you guys that. But in three days I'll be a Marine." my gaze had dropped to the floor, and I didn't even think of looking at either of them. "Mom, Dad, I'll be okay. I won't die, I promise...and if by some chain of events that I do die, know that I love you both to no end. You're the best people in my life, and no doubt there will never be any others as great as y'all. You raised me into a great young stallion, ready to do great things." I couldn't think of what else to say. Instead I did what I never should've done; I walked out of the room, out of the whole house. I had to tell my friends where I would be, why I was going to leave. I had goodbyes to say, and confessions to make.
Solemnly, I passed through town, barely acknowledging the barrage of bright greetings tossed my way. The usual upbeat, extroverted demeanor I normally carried, had sunk into nothing more than a grey cloud of fear. My mind was blank, which made even walking down the road a little challenging. Blank isn't the right word for the emptiness in my head, no, focused is more along the lines. I had friends who I had to tell, and after the fuss my parents put up, I was scared to see their reactions. I knew the fate of my stallion brethren, but it was the small number of mares I had to tell, that made me that way.
In this case, three was the golden number, and I'd drawn the golden fucking ticket; how lucky of me! Not one, but three mares I had to tell; three reactions I had to deal with. I wasn't sure where to begin, or even how; but I was never one to dwell on a choice for too long. I decided to pick the first one I fell for, which ironically is the first pony I ever befriended; needless to say, I was glad the walk to Sweet Apple Acres was a long one. I knew Big Mac had been drafted, we stood next to each other in line earlier; no doubt Applejack knew what had happened already. Still, I wanted to tell her in person where I was going, and...what possibilities might come. Further, I needed to tell her she was the first one I fell for.
I remember the day we met. It was the beginning of our second year in elementary school, ol' Mr. Oaks sat us boy-girl in hopes we wouldn't disrupt his class too much. Little did he know, colts and fillies make the best of bad situations. Well, as bad as that could be for young children. I was as cheerful as the sun was bright, and Applejack was one of the most extroverted fillies in the school; we hit it off immediately. Well, if you count me shooting spit balls at her, and her throwing pencils at me hitting it off, then I'd say we hit it off pretty damn fast. It was about half way through the school year before either one of us really talked to each other, but when we started, we wouldn't stop. Together, we made Mr. Oaks lessons hell, he couldn't get through an entire lesson before either one of us would laugh. And if you know kids, let's just say 'chain reaction' is an understatement. It was like someone stowed away laughing gas under the floor, and released it at sporadic times during class. It remained like that, even to the last day of our last year; our final year of school. We could've put beds in the principals office, because sixty percent of our time was spent there.
It was our second year of middle school (you know, the time when all hormonal driven teenagers develop feelings for others) when I had built up the courage to confess to her. Problem is, she was already talking to me about other guys, the ones that stood out, and the one that really stood out. Up until that day, she never mentioned a name; and it left me hoping, believing that it was me. I was both pissed and distraught when we sat down that day. It wasn't anything that wasn't the normal, we had played in one of the fields on her farm, running around and laughing like fools; afterwards, we sat in her club house. I still don't know what made her do this, but she leaned in and rested her head on my shoulder; which only boosted my confidence. The first thing that came out of her mouth was, "Thank ya for bein' the bestest friend Ah've ever had, Cascade! Ah think it's time I told ya who it is Ah got it in fer... it's Caramel! He's so cute! Ah mean, how his mane sits and how good of a worker he is, he's just...just perfect! More perfect than the most perfect apple tree in all of Sweet Apple Acres!"
I sunk faster than a rock in water, hell if I hadn't been frozen with disappointment, then I would have run out in an instant. Subconsciously, I let out, "Yeah... No problem...," Never before had I ever felt so much anger and disappointment. It was something that I later learned was jealousy. I had always thought the love songs were wrong; that one's heart could never feel like it was ripped out. They were right. Not just because they told me so, but because it really did feel like my heart was ripped out and stomped on. "Applejack..I-I gotta go.," I left her that night sitting in her clubhouse, confused as ever. I never told her how I felt, it was always her who would say who she liked. From her first relationship, to her first real relationship; I was there. I was the shoulder that would always greet her teary eyes. I hated to admit it, still hate to admit it, really; I was a rebound. I was an in between for a confidence boost.
I got so lost in my memories, I hadn't even thought of what I was going to say. I was already at the farm by that point, and beyond that, I had knocked on the door without thinking. I hoped, no prayed, that they were out in the fields working. I reassured myself by thinking, It's applebuck season, right? No, yeah that's right! Every fall, they harvest the apples! I turned to leave, when I felt a hand grab onto my arm. It was too small for it to be Mac, but too big for Apple Bloom; it was the mare of the hour, Applejack. I turned my head back, only to see a crying mare. For the first time in years, I saw AJ without her hat on, and with distraught hair. Her usual confident attitude had gone sour; tears were slowly forming puddles at her feet, and as she lifted her head up, it was apparent she had been crying for a while. I turned around completely, and embraced her in a hug; unable to think of anything to say.
She was the first to speak up. In a soft voice, she whispered, "Please tell me ya ain't leavin' too... Cascade, please tell me ya didn't register for the draft already..."
Without a word, I lifted her hand to my head, making sure it rubbed over the stubble that remained. "I...I ship out for basic in three days.", I said in a hollow, emotionless voice. "And Applejack... I'm sorry."
"Sorry fer what, sugarcube?," AJ asked as she wiped tears from her cheeks.
"For caring for you, and not telling you. For not being here when you really need me. For not being good enough for you.," I turned back around, and headed for town. Right as I came to the entrance of the farm, a familiar touch came across my shoulder.
I looked back to once again see a teary eyed Applejack, "Ah...Ah had no idea ya felt so strongly for me. Ah'm sorry Ah guess Ah did take advantage of ya... Dammit, Cascade, Ah've experienced a lot of pain today, and tellin' ya this just adds wood to the fire... Ah can't see ya as more than just a friend. Ah'm...Ah'm sorry.," AJ's voice dipped into a whisper, and her gaze had fallen to the ground.
"Yeah...You and I both. And...And if by some reason I don't come back, remember that you were the first mare I ever fell for.," I gently brushed her hand off of my shoulder, and continued my walk back to Ponyville. It was a silent, and unpleasant walk; having to tell the mare I was the closest with that I may not come back was...hard; hearing that she'd never look at me as more than a friend just plain hurt. To make it worse, I had no emotion in my voice. It was nothing but a monotone noise being emitted from my mouth.
By order, Rainbow Dash was next. Hell, that scared me more than taking a bullet; Dash was unpredictable, especially when it came to emotions. She never had a strong relationship with anyone, and it reflected when she spoke. She could make a grown stallion cry, just by chewing him out; it was that, that made me scared. The fact that I was close with her, and that she would explode on me scared the shit out of me.
The one thing about that day that was good, was that all the three lived in different corners of Ponyville, so I had time to think in between each person. I was half way back to town, when I realized Rainbow Dash might be at a summer camp, Not sure whether or not that's a good thing. I mean, she has to know, but... But, how will she react?, "What'll she say about it?...," I thought aloud.
"What's up, Cascade? You look sad, what's wrong?," Dash appeared behind me, flying up when I was in thought.
"Err...Dash, just the pegasus I was looking for.," I let out an awkward laugh, "Rainbow, I have to tell you something. Something you aren't going to like very much. It'd be best if we go out to your training field."
"Uh, okay, if you insist. But I don't get what the big deal is, I mean it's not like your in danger or anything."
The walk to Rainbow's training ground was less than desirable. Everything around us was a blur; I was only focused on how I would tell her. Tell her everything; how would she react? Honestly, I wish I had brought a rain coat; the more I opened up, the more inclement weather struck me. Rainbow, it's been an amazing four years, but I'm probably going to die! See ya later!... Yeah, that's not going to fly. Fuck, I wish this shit was fucking easy...
Y'know, Rainbow wasn't always so strong. She came from Cloudsdale before eighth grade year started, to us she was just the new kid; we knew nothing about her. Well, until the last day of school; I found out everything. Up until that point, there might as well have been a screen of black smoke around her; everything about her was a mystery. All we assumed was that she was into hardcore sports; almost everyday she came into the classroom with a bruise or a few cuts. We were stupid, ignorant kids; we never saw anything wrong. Everything pointed to a simple answer, but we couldn't add shit up. Her lack of social skills, constant flinching, and her random sobbing. I, above everyone else, should have seen something. I talked to her, walked her home, even carried her books.
But everyday I walked her home, she would always try to delay going straight home; sometimes she took me out to a field to watch her fly, other times we walked around town till sunset. Then, eventually, she started following me home; my ma must've known something was up from the get go, cause there was always a bed she could sleep in at my house. By the end of the school year, Rainbow lived in my house; she had become part of the family. We got into daily routines; things like us alternating who would wake who on school days, or who would do their homework so the other could copy. Then, on the last day of school, I went to wake her up; but when I walked into her room, she was gone. Everything was normal, there were clothes littered on the floor, her bed was a mess of blankets and sheets, and her window was open.
Only thing out of place was a sheet of paper on her desk; she hadn't done homework in weeks. Instead, it was a sheet of paper; a letter.
To whoever finds this,
I need time to think things out, please don't come looking for me. -Rainbow Dash
The first thing that hit me, was that we'd be late for school. The second thought I had was 'fuck school, Rainbow needs me.' I had no idea how Dash could walk around, it was still dark out and not even the street lights provided much light. But I knew where she would be. I knew she memorized how to get there, too. Unfortunately, I hadn't payed much attention when she took me out to the field. The walk out there was less than desirable; I knew where I was going, but I didn't know my way there. In the course of twenty minutes, I had tripped over three rocks, run into a tree, and had run from a bear. Turns out, they're extremely territorial, by the way.
The sun was on the horizon as I finally pushed through to Dash's training field; I saw something worse than what's out here. It was Dash, she was laying on the ground, not moving. She didn't even acknowledge when I called to her. I knew something was wrong, but what? I ran to her, only to find a small knife covered in blood, and a note next to Rainbow's unconscious body.
Cascade,
Only you would come out here to find me. If you're reading this, then you didn't read my note. Please, leave me here... I never deserved a friend like you, nor the hospitality your family offered me. I'm sorry for being a thorn all year, but rejoice, I'm close to being gone for good. You won't have to worry about me anymore; no one will. Goodbye.
That was the fastest I ever read anything in my life, I folded the note up and placed it in my back pocket; I looked down to see three cuts along her right wrist. She was bleeding heavily, and a puddle of blood had started to pool under her arm. Thank Celestia I was in the scouts, or else Dash wouldn't be alive today. I ripped the sleeve of my shirt off, and quickly tied the piece of cloth above her cuts; the blood eventually slowed coming out. With little effort, I was able to hoist her on my shoulder, and started my trek back into town and towards the hospital.
"Dammit, Dash, what the hell were you thinking...," I murmured to myself as I approached the hospital.
I nearly took the doors of their hinges, as I burst right through the front entrance, "Quick, someone help! She's lost a lot of blood!"
"What blood type is she, son?," Nurse Aid asked me, scribbling on a small piece of paper.
"I have no idea! Please, you have to help her!," I nearly shouted as I set Rainbow down on a chair.
"That's going to complicate things...Doctor! We have a situation, prep O blood, we got a gusher!," The nurse called around the corner, eliciting a loud response.
A swarm of doctors and nurses quickly surrounded me and placed RD on a gurney, and wheeled her into the E.R. for a blood transfer. I fell asleep as soon as I saw her being wheeled away; I woke about an hour later. The doctor from before approached me, seemingly sullen, "Son, you're lucky you got her here quick; even luckier you knew to put pressure on the area where she was cut up. But I have to ask, who is her legal guardian? We need a signature and payment in order to release her."
"Umm, I have no idea, to be honest. She's been staying at my house for most of this school year... I think it'd be best to call my parents.," I was reluctant to answer the doctor, mostly because I didn't know much about Rainbow, despite her being so close.
My parents eventually made their way down, and cleared up the situation with the doctor. Dash was out cold for the rest of the day, but at no point did I leave her side. I wanted to know why she did what she did, and I wanted to know if she was alright. But before I could ask, I had to wait until she woke up. The next few hours were silent, boring, and left me brooding. I thought that it was my fault she tried to off herself, that some how, some way, I fucked up.
It was around three in the morning when she finally woke up, tears of joy escaped my body and the first thing I thought of doing was to hug her, "Dash, I'm sorry. No idea what I did, but I'm real sorry, please don't do something like this again."
"Cascade, tell me I'm wanted...," Dash's eyes were staring straight up, and her voice had started to crack, "Please, just tell me I'm wanted..."
"I don't know what's got into your head to think you ain't wanted... Dash, everyone in my family loves you...including me. We were all worried sick that you'd slip into a coma or something. Hell, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't have tried to find you; I wouldn't have brought you here. And I wouldn't be this damn happy that you're alive."
Rainbow never responded, she just looked out the window. I thought that meant she hated me, so I turned and left the room. It wasn't long before I made my way out of the hospital, and soon enough I was on my way home. I didn't sleep that night, nor the next; my conscience didn't let me sleep. A thought always popped into my head, and I tried to rationalize it. What if she thinks I'm a freak for telling her that I love her... Fuck, man, you really fucking did it this time. Ya done fucked up again. A-fucking-gain.
After she was released from the hospital, life seemed to keep moving. Except, we barely ever talked after that.
"Dash...," I quietly mumbled to myself, coming back from the depths of my mind; realizing that we had made it.
"So, Cade, what's so important that you had to drag me out here?," Rainbow asked in an annoyed tone.
"I...Fuck...There's no easy way to say this... I-I got drafted this morning. Equestria is going to war, which means... Means I'm going to have front row seats for the fighting.,"
A quick look in Dash's eyes revealed three things; anger, surprise, and depression. "No... Damn Celestia, no! They...They can't take you! Dammit, you're mine! No one can have you... I don't want you to die! Please, don't go... Don't leave me here, you're the only one who understands me!," Dash's fury was at full throttle. She was about to take off, but I ran and tackled her to the ground.
"Listen to me. I won't die. I promise to write to you while I'm gone, and I promise not to die... Before I go, I have to ask you...You remember what I told you at the hospital all those years ago?," I peered into her magenta eyes, which were now flooded with tears.
"Yeah, I mean, I remember some of that night..."
"I told you that you were wanted...I told you that I love you. I still do. Had to get that off my chest before I left.," I rolled off of the cyan mare, and lifted myself up. With a lethargic walk, I started back to Ponyville, leaving Dash in the field to cool off. Only one more I have to confess to...The rest...well the rest I just have to tell. Still ain't going to be easy. I pray Rarity is out of town on business or too busy to talk...
