When an idiot space frog gets his mitts on a certain MLP villain, things go just a LITTLE crazy. A crossover between MLP and Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunsou.
When an idiot space frog gets his grubby little mitts on a certain MLP villain, things go just a LITTLE crazy. Twilight and the rest of the girls are the only ponies who can set things right...probably. Expect brony jokes, pop-culture jokes, and about 20% more fourth wall abuse! A crossover between MLP and Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunsou.
(Oh look, it’s another heart pounding episode of Sgt. Frog! No, not really, just Giroro cleaning his guns. Isn’t this riveting?)
It was a bright and sunny day on the planet Earth. The cranky Corporal Giroro sat in his tent, repairing one of his many guns. It had been another week of failed plans, bad blunders, and Keroro being his lazy self. The corporal was hungry for some action. He heard someone unzipping his tent door.
“Who’s there?” He asked, eyeing the door suspiciously; his favorite weapon drawn and ready to fire.
“It’s Tamama! Sarge has some awesome news!” The veteran warrior groaned.
“Somehow I doubt that, but okay. It would be a crime to miss a platoon meeting.” He got up and followed Tamama to the platoon’s not-so-secret base. He opened the door and saw his platoon mates. However, something was off. There was a tall creature in the room that looked like one of Kululu’s experiments gone wrong.
Hmm, we’ve got the idiot, the creepy inventor and the adorable kid. The gang’s all here…but who’s the tall guy? Better question, what is he? He was interrupted by the sound of his commander’s voice.
“I will now call this Armpit Platoon meeting to order! But before I do that, let’s go around and say our names, rankings, and what we like to do!” Keroro said. “I’ll start. I’m Keroro. I run this elite operation, and I like to build Gundam models in my spare time.”
“I’m Sgt. Major Kululu. I build the weapons and I like torturing small animals. Ku-kukuku!”
“I’m Private Tamama, and I like to eat sweets and watch cartoons!” Giroro stood up.
“I’m Corporal Giroro, and I enjoy making stuff dead.” The tall one stood up.
“It’s my turn? Okay. My name is Discord, and I am the Lord of Chaos! I like turning things upside down and inside out!” He emitted a maniacal laugh, accompanied by a couple of lightning strikes.
(Gah! What is that thing? Did the animators throw their concept sketches into a blender?)
Giroro was instantly impressed.
“Whoa! Keroro, where did we get this guy?”
“I’m glad you asked, Giroro! It’s a long, hilarious story that I’m still in the process of writing! It all started yesterday. Tamama was watching My Little Pony. I happened to walk by during the episode. I was about to dismiss Private T as a hopeless tadpole, when suddenly I looked and saw this guy on the screen. Within the episode, he had seized complete control of Equestria, which is basically their Pekopon. It was masterful!” Keroro had stars in his eyes.
“Yes it was, wasn’t it? Then those rotten little ponies ruined it all for me.” Discord said.
“Anyway, I borrowed Kululu’s Fourth Wall Wrecker and Tamama and I went to Equestria. We traded Dororo and a chocolate milkshake to this really happy pink pony, and well, here we are. Now we are stronger than ever! Kero kero kero kero kero!”
Meanwhile, in Equestria, Dororo was talking with Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy was comforting him after his initial abandonment trauma.
“So, your friend gave you and a milkshake to our friend Pinkie Pie, and in return she gave them Discord?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, that’s pretty much how it happened. I can’t believe they would ditch me like that!” Dororo’s trauma switch turned back on. Fluttershy continued to comfort him.
“There, there. It’s okay. You shouldn’t dwell on it so much. I’m sure they’ll come right back and get you when they realize they made a mistake.”
(Fluttershy, I think you’re giving them too much credit.)
“They’d better come back! I can’t imagine who would be stupid enough to think that Discord would make a good teammate.” Twilight said, visibly upset.
“Well, then you’ve clearly never met Sgt. Keroro.” Dororo said. Twilight and Fluttershy gulped.
(See? That’s why I like Dororo. He’s the platoon member with common sense.)
“Princess Celestia’s going to kill us!” The purple unicorn exclaimed. “And I’m going to kill Pinkie Pie!”
(Ooh! This show just got interesting!)
Back on Earth, the Armpit Platoon, complete with its newest member, continued discussing this plan.
“This is the best trade ever!” Keroro said.
“You’ve said that about 15 times in the last 5 minutes! We get it!” Giroro said, always good for a snarky remark.
“We suckered those ponies good! Discord here is going to turn Pekopon on its head! Then we’ll be able to take over for sure!” Tamama gleefully shouted.
“Yes, it’s like we’re the LA Lakers and those ponies are the Orlando Magic! Ku-kuku ku!” Kululu performed his signature laugh.
Discord was having a good time in the Hinatas’ basement. He sat and listened to the high energy chatter of his new space frog friends.
“Keroro, to show my appreciation for being set free, I’m going to make it rain!” Keroro and Tamama knew exactly what he meant. The green leader quickly sprinted for the exit.
“Wait! I’ll bring down some glasses!” Discord stopped in his tracks. He used some magic to bring Keroro back into the room. This puzzled the frog.
“Allow me.” The beast snapped his fingers and vanished. The platoon was in awe of this ability. Giroro slapped his commander on the back.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you did it, Sarge! Discord is everything we could have wanted!” Keroro basked in the light of his newfound glory.
Meanwhile, Discord walked into the kitchen to get some glasses. He used his magic to bring the cups to him. It was a quick process. As soon as he had enough, he snapped his fingers again and instantaneously found himself back in the secret base. He passed out glasses to each frog, and then the spirit of chaos conjured up a chocolate rain cloud. What Discord had failed to realize is that Natsumi Hinata had caught a glimpse of him in the kitchen.
“What…did I just see? You’re gonna get it, Frogtard!”
Discord had his clouds set up as if they were a chocolate milk fountain. If there was a way to get drunk off of the stuff, Keroro and the others were well on the way to finding it. Suddenly, they heard a door slam. It was Natsumi. After catching her breath, she spoke.
“What are…who is…answers, toad! I want answers!” Natsumi was dumbfounded by the presence of the giant creature that looked like a science experiment gone, well, chaotic. Keroro started from the beginning.
“…and that’s how we swindled those ponies like Pony With a Pen getting swindled out of a Peyton Manning rookie card!” The platoon leader finished. This did nothing to soothe the expression of pure shock on the young girl’s face.
“First, who’s Pony With a Pen? Second, you expect me to believe that you traveled into a fictional television show, traded one of your own platoon members for this…thing, and that My Little Pony is actually good now? I’m a girl and even I think it’s typical girly trash!” Discord turned to face her.
“My dear, you seem a bit stressed out. Here, have a glass of chocolate milk. It’ll take the edge off.” Natsumi hesitantly accepted the glass. Sure, it looked like chocolate milk, the girl thought. Discord watched her reactions.
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s pasteurized and well-shaken. I’m not going to poison someone I’ve never even met.” Natsumi gulped and drank it down. However, she wound up drinking the glass itself, leaving the chocolate milk in cup-form.
“What the heck?” she blurted out.
“I’d get rid of that if I were you.” Discord warned her. The girl obeyed, and the milk exploded in mid-air. Naturally, this freaked her out.
“Are you trying to kill me?” Discord shook his head.
“I gave you fair warning.” Luckily, Giroro hadn’t been watching, or he would have severed the Discord/Keroro invasion plan relationship right then and there.
(For all you bronies reading this who should be watching this show too, Giroro has the hots for Natsumi and can’t stand when other male creatures try to seduce her or harm her. Thankfully Discord hasn’t done the former because that would be creepy.)
Keroro was watching, however, and he was mesmerized.
What the frog? Discord can weaponize chocolate milk? This is the best invasion plan I’ve ever come up with! When we take over the world, we’ll make bronies everywhere cry when we replace their favorite show with our show instead! The Sgt. Frog fanbase will be bigger than the bronies ever were!
(Seriously? That’s your big, secret plan? To replace My Little Pony with Sgt. Frog? Eh, if it makes my paycheck bigger, I’m all for it.)
(Oh, you mean we’re continuing this story? Who green-lit this dreck?)
Fuyuki Hinata sat in his room reading a book on the paranormal. He had grown quite used to having space frogs around the house, plotting to take over the planet he called home. As it was, nothing phased the boy. Suddenly, he heard an explosion, which jolted him from his chair.
“Huh? Did Giroro shoot the radio for playing Justin Bieber songs again?”
He decided to go and check it out. As the secret base was located in the basement of the Hinata home, it was a somewhat long journey from the top floor. Eventually, Fuyuki made it.
Fuyuki suddenly realized something wasn’t right. He stared up at Discord, who smiled and waved at him.
“Oh my gosh! It’s Discord! How in the world is he here?”
Keroro got scared. Sure, those of his race were born and raised planet conquerors, but Fuyuki was also his closest friend. Fuyuki was the one person whose approval the sergeant was most afraid of losing. If he thought bringing Discord into reality was a bad idea, Keroro had a decision to make.
(I know what you’re thinking…we’re actually gonna have a serious moment in this fanfic?)
“Is this a bad thing, Fuyuki?”
“Are you kidding? This is the most awesome thing ever! Discord’s my favorite My Little Pony antagonist! His episodes are consistently at the top of most bronies’ best episode lists!” Natsumi slapped her forehead.
“Fuyuki! You watch that trash? That show is meant for little girls!”
(Clearly she’s stuck in 2009.)
“See, even the narrator agrees it’s a good show! I bet he likes it even more than our show!” Fuyuki fired back.
(Well…I didn’t hate what I saw while preparing for this crossover. That’s more than I can say for this show.)
Fuyuki ran up to Discord with pure glee in his eyes.
“Can you…take me to Equestria?” Discord smiled warmly, which was a change for him.
“I think that can be arranged. And I can get you there without a pair of ruby slippers, too!” Discord snapped his fingers, and Fuyuki disappeared. He began laughing maniacally.
“Did you see that? He asked if I could send him to Equestria. He seriously asked me if I could send him to Equestria! That kid is a hoot!”
“Fuyuki! Bring him back!” Keroro said.
“Oh relax, sergeant. The boy will be fine. Besides, he wanted to go to Equestria. Who am I to deny him such a chance?”
Natsumi found herself coiling back in horror. She still wasn’t sure of whom this character was. She was actually starting to regret not watching the new My Little Pony with her brother.
How could something that spouts much funnier one-liners than the frogtard come out of a show like My Little Pony?
(Why not try watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Only on the Hub!)
Meanwhile, Fuyuki fell out of the sky and landed on the upper deck of Twilight’s house in Ponyville. He rolled over and sat up, discovering that he had landed at the entrance to the loft.
Where am I? Wait a minute, I recognize this atmosphere! He was filled with glee yet again.
“I’m actually in Equestria! I can’t believe it! This is the best thing ever!” He got to his feet and entered the loft of the treebrary. Upon entry, he heard voices.
“But Twilight, if Discord escaped to another world, how’re we supposed to catch him again?” Fuyuki heard the distinct southern accent.
That’s Applejack!
“I don’t know, but that milkshake was the besty-best milkshake I’ve ever had! It was from this place called Dairy Queen! I don’t know her, but it’s obvious why she’s the queen…she makes an amazing milkshake!” Pinkie Pie said.
Oh no…this is going exactly where I think it’s going, isn’t it?
(I’m afraid so, Fuyuki. Pinkie Pie just broke the fourth wall, and important plot element revealed in 3…2…1…)
“And what about poor Dororo? He was left here all alone with that milkshake!” Fluttershy said, nuzzling the sad space frog ninja. Dororo enjoyed it, not in a perverted sense…he just appreciated acknowledgement from anyone, or anypony in general. Fuyuki facepalmed.
That’s how all of this started? Sounds like Sarge’s doing.
(Oh gee, you think? This fact is more obvious than MTV needing to change its name to something different than Music Television.)
Pinkie’s ears perked up.
“Hey, who’s talking up there? Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!”
(Uh…pay no attention to the man behind this voice!)
“Awwww…come on, Mr. Quiety Shypants! What’s your name?”
(Wreck It Ralph.)
“Ooh! What do you do?” Pinkie continued the conversation as her friends looked on, completely stupefied.
(I…wreck things. I really want to wreck the guy who came up with this dreadful crossover idea!)
“Well that’s not very nice! You sound like you need a hug!”
(No, I don’t. Incoming falling boy!)
“Ooh! Lots of toys? Is there a flugelhorn in there? Because I really want a flugelhorn!”
Suddenly, a whoosh of air swept in the door behind Fuyuki, sending him careening over the edge of the loft balcony and crashing face first into the floor.
(Forgive me, Fuyuki. Seems physical comedy is the only way to get away from the crazies!)
Naturally, the sight of a human, especially a boy with blue hair, caught the Mane Six by surprise.
“Fuyuki! Are you okay?” Dororo asked, rushing to the boy’s side.
Pinkie looked up, disappointed.
“That’s not a flugelhorn at all!” Rainbow groaned.
“Pinkie, enough with the flugelhorn thing! It was cute in the Crystal Empire episode, but the joke has run its course!” Rainbow gasped after she finished her sentence.
“Oh man, now she’s got me doing it!” Meanwhile, Fuyuki began to stir.
“He’s waking up! Oh, I hope he’s okay!” Fluttershy said. Applejack helped him roll onto his back.
“Easy, partner. Take your time. That was a plain nasty fall!”
(Fuyuki opened his eyes to every brony’s dream; the concerned faces of the Mane Six.)
“Oh! Thank goodness you’re awake! Are you hurt? That was quite a tumble!” Twilight asked.
Before Fuyuki could answer, he was interrupted.
“Is that your natural hair color? Does this look like an anime to you?” The snarky comment came from Rainbow.
“Hey! My brother has blue hair, remember? So does Soarin! He wouldn’t be very happy if he knew you were making fun of him, now would he?” Twilight said. The rainbow-maned pegasus immediately shut up, turning her head to hide her furious blushing. The bookworm smirked.
“That’s better.” She turned her gaze back to Fuyuki.
“Where did you come from?”
Fuyuki took a deep breath.
Back on Earth, Discord was already turning things upside down, quite literally. The Hinata house was standing firm, but every other house was modified in some way by the spirit of disharmony. Kululu, for obvious reasons, accompanied him in this mission.
“Chaos is just so fun!” Discord said as he used his twisted magic to fuse a dog and a cat together.
(Discord: Re-creating old cartoon ideas since 2013!)
“I agree. Ku-kukuku!” Kululu said. “Let’s go make PETA cry!”
(I think the mere sight of Discord is enough to make them sob for days! What is he? What even is he?)
“Oh, Kululu…I’m so happy that someone shares my desire for chaos! I think I feel a song coming on!” Indeed, a musical cue began to play.
“I don’t. PonyWithAPen isn’t nearly that clever. Ku-kukuku! Let’s just keep horrifying the Pekoponians!”
“I have absolutely no problem with this. You and me, my weird yellow friend, we’ll paint this planet neon green!” Both of them laughed as Natsumi watched from her bedroom window, equally angered and horrified. Every day, she had to deal with a world-ending threat. But this was something completely different.
Every day is the same old thing…it’s like Groundhog Day for the Mayans! Why me? A multitude of questions lingered in her mind.
I hope Fuyuki’s not acting like a stereotypical…what do they call themselves? Brownies? No, Mare-ka-teers? That’s definitely not it. Super My Little Pony Bros.? No! Oh, I know! The Proud Powerpuff Pony…Pinkie Plankers! No no no! I just hope he’s safe…
(Will Kululu and Discord take over the operation themselves? Can anyone stop this gigantic threat from happening? And why is the author of this story taking so many cheap shots at himself? Is he that desperate for attention? What a schmuck!)
(Come on now, sing it with me! Indeterminate-aged Element Bearers, heroines without clothes…Now I feel really dirty for imagining it. But wait, aren’t ponies always naked? Okay, I’ve really talked myself into a corner. See you at the first mildly amusing joke! Which, knowing this writer, won’t come until at least chapter 5.)
Keroro sat in the secret base, reading the latest issue of Captain Frog and building Gundam models. He looked up and saw all the different things happening on his monitors.
“Our little plan is coming together better than a broken family heirloom drenched in superglue!” The commanding frog chuckled as he watched Discord and Kululu’s shenanigans.
“Those two are worse for the Pekoponians than that Jersey Shore show! We’ve got this planet in the bag!”
Back in Ponyville, Fuyuki was finishing his life’s story.
“…and today I went down into my haunted basement and found Discord waiting for me! I asked him if he could take me to Equestria, and the next thing I knew, I was here. I know I shouldn’t be phased by any of this because I’m used to meeting new aliens every single episode of my own show, but wow, I can’t believe I’m actually in Ponyville!” As he finished, he found the ponies surrounding him.
“Fuyuki, darling, you seem like a very bright boy. Do you know a way for us to get to your world?” Rarity asked. Fuyuki shook his head.
“I wish I did. I don’t even know how Sarge came here in the first place.”
“Sarge? Was that the little green frog? He came here demanding Discord! I traveled to Canterlot in record time and brought Discord to him, and he gave me a milkshake! That incredible, amazing milkshake! I want another milkshake!”
(The first step is admitting you have a problem, Pinkie.) Pinkie turned her head to the sky and her mane straightened out.
“I’m not crazy! You’re crazy!” Fuyuki stared at her.
Is it just me, or is Pinkie Pie the Momoka of this show?
Back on Earth, Giroro was busy taking target practice. He was the crack shot of the platoon, but it never hurt to have a little practice run in order to stay sharp. As usual, his accuracy was 100%.
(Ooh! Explosions! Now this is what I’m talking about! I’m sorry I badmouthed you, Michael Bay!)
The corporal walked away from the practice area, satisfied with his work.
“Well, I’ve done my part. With Discord on our side, this is our greatest chance of all to take over Pekopon. I just need to make sure no one hurts Natsumi.”
(D’aaaaaaw, once again you’ve proven you’re a big softy on the inside, Corporal!)
“Shut up.” The corporal continued walking. As he approached the hideout, he slipped and fell. Groaning, he spotted the cause of his pratfall; an empty Dilly Bar box from Dairy Queen.
“What? That lumbering fool! Figures he’d just sit around and eat the delicacies of this queen of dairy. The least he could do is properly dispose of this trash.”
Giroro grabbed the box and chucked it in a nearby trash receptacle. The cranky corporal then made his way into the main room of the base, where Keroro was. Upon turning around to look, the lazy frog quickly tossed the comic book aside and stared intently at one of the monitors.
“Boy, just look at that grass grow! Giroro, have you ever just sat back and enjoyed the little things in life, like watching grass grow?” The corporal’s expression did not change.
“Hey, as the leader of this platoon, I think you should set an example by not leaving your trash in an area where an impressionable young tadpole like Tamama might trip over it and nearly damage important sectors of his posterior.” Keroro began to sweat and laugh nervously.
“Oh…sorry, I would have thrown that away sooner, but this growing grass program is just so compelling, I can’t look away! Seriously, this gives the ‘Watching Paint Dry’ channel a run for its money!” Giroro scowled again.
“Who is this ‘Dairy Queen,’ anyway? You’ve spoken warmly about her for months now. You even conned that pink pony with one of the queen’s milkshakes to bring Discord here! Are you having an affair with this lovely maiden of ice cream royalty?” Keroro got nervous and hung his head for a moment.
“I just can’t resist her delicate ice cold creamy goodness…”
(Good night, everybody!)
Back in Ponyville, it was quickly becoming night. After doing some research, Twilight decided that it would take several more hours of study to find a spell capable of sending Fuyuki back to his own world, the world where he had confirmed Discord had been taken, and was now likely raising havoc. For convenience’s sake, it was decided that the boy would sleep at the treebrary, in case of any sudden developments. Earlier in the day, Fuyuki had taken a walk, Applejack accompanied him to make sure none of the other ponies freaked out. You see, they had never before seen a human in Equestria. Anyway, Apple Bloom approached him. In her usual insanely cute way, she asked him to be her subject for show and tell at school the next day.
(Bronies, if you’ve ever seen Apple Bloom at any point in your lives, you’d know that saying “no” to that face is 99.99999999998765% impossible.)
That night, Fuyuki sat outside on the 2nd deck of the treebrary. He stared up at the stars, admiring Princess Luna’s beautiful night.
(Oh thank goodness…some normalcy in this story. I don’t think I can take anymore Dairy Queen innuendo!) Twilight walked out onto the deck to join him.
“Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.” Fuyuki said in all his awkward glory.
“Hi there, Fuyuki! Princess Luna would be very proud to know that a stranger from another world appreciates her night as much as anypony else.” Fuyuki kept staring at the moon.
“Oh yes, I do. I always have.” Twilight smiled.
“It’s nice to have someone else who likes it. Spike does, but he’s usually asleep by this time.” Twilight chuckled, thinking fondly of her #1 assistant.
“I just hope everyone’s okay. I’m worried. I’ve seen what Discord can do.” Fuyuki had turned his gaze to his pony companion.
“Don’t worry, Fuyuki. I will study long and hard until I find a spell to send you home. In the meantime, you’re more than welcome to stay here at the library!” Twilight said, giving him a reassuring smile. Fuyuki smiled back.
“Thank you, Twilight. There’s a reason you’ve always been my favorite pony.”
(And as the brony and the pony gazed on, a great bond was formed. Wait…don’t tell me this is gonna be one of those creepy man and horse kinda stories! I didn’t sign up for this!)
(Back on Earth, Momoka had found out about Fuyuki’s disappearance. To say she wasn’t happy is like saying that Vancouver Canucks fans weren’t happy after they lost the Stanley Cup Finals against the Boston Bruins. In short, it was totally obvious.)
Momoka threw open the door to the secret base, catching Giroro and Keroro off guard. She grabbed the green leader by the neck and hoisted him in the air as she interrogated him.
“Unless you want to end up as the Friday night special at the Space Aliens bar and grill, you’ll tell me what happened to my beloved!”
“Oh, Fuyuki? I didn’t do anything to him, I promise! If…you…let me go…I can…tell you…what…happened!” Momoka set him down and allowed him to catch his breath.
“You see, it’s kind of a long story…”
(We don’t need to hear it again, Sarge, trust me. Let’s go see how the rest of the platoon is doing!)
Tamama had caught up to Kululu and Discord. The three of them were busy causing chaos and headaches for the residents of the city. Each platoon mate had different jobs. Discord was in charge of general chaos, like turning someone’s hair a different shade of purple. Kululu’s main job was coming up with horrific suggestions for more animal combinations, like the CatDog reference from chapter 2. And as for Tamama…well…Discord distracted him with a constantly flowing chocolate rain cloud.
“I haven’t had this much fun since I toyed with the emotions of those rotten little ponies! And you know what the best part is? They can’t do anything to stop me this time! Finally, Discord gets to win!”
“What do you have in mind, boss?” Kululu asked.
“It’s simple, Kululu. We can rule this planet without your other platoon mates! I’ve got all the company I need! As long as I can keep Tamama drunk on chocolate rain, there’s not a force in the universe that can stop…the Chaos Crew!” Discord and Kululu laughed manically. Tamama just stood there in a drunken stupor.
Keroro’s eyes went wide and he began to sweat again.
“Guys…I think I made a mistake.”
(Oh, really? Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, had ulterior motives? Whatever gave you that idea, Sarge?)
“This is just like when Walt Disney got screwed by some corporate jerks before he did everything that made him awesome!”
(Actually no, it's nothing like that. This is quite cliche, and I hope it leads nowhere!)
The chapter I wanted to call "The Princess and the Space Frog," but this fanfic's continuity began before Alicorn Twilight was a thing.
(The writer forgot to mention that Disney probably would have sued the pants off of him as well. On with the story!)
While Keroro watched 2/5 of his platoon betray him, Fuyuki was having a much more pleasant morning. He was walking to school with Apple Bloom to be her show and tell subject. He had only been in Ponyville for one day, but the locals already treated him with more respect than he had been shown by anyone except Sgt. Keroro and Dororo during the time he had known them.
Not surprisingly, Dororo was currently in the same boat. He loved living with Fluttershy. She really knew how to make a visitor from another planet feel welcome and appreciated. But he also missed Koyuki, his closest friend from back home. Yes, he was even closer to her than he was to his platoon mates; and he had known Keroro and Giroro for most of his life.
That’s…kind of sad when you think about it.
While on their walk, Apple Bloom was asking Fuyuki all sorts of questions.
(The funny part is, Apple Bloom is voiced by an actual 13 year old girl, but Fuyuki is voiced by a smokin’ hot woman in her early 30s!)
“Say, Fuyuki…what are some of your favorite hobbies?” Fuyuki smiled.
“Well, you might find this kind of nerdy, but I like reading and studying the paranormal.”
“Para-what-now?” Apple Bloom looked quizzical. Fuyuki knew he was about to lose her interest and had to save it.
“Um, ghosts and stuff like that.” The filly’s eyes lit up.
“Really? That’s so cool!” Fuyuki beamed, having been touched by the cute little pony’s words of affirmation.
Someone thinks something I do is cool? Yep, that totally clinches it. I’m staying here.
Meanwhile, Dororo was sharing many of the same sentiments about Fluttershy. Compared to how he was usually treated back home by everyone not named Koyuki, this was paradise.
When I next see Koyuki, I’ll invite her to live here with myself and Fluttershy, if she’ll have us.
(Hokey smoke, Keroro’s plan is backfiring spectacularly! With Dororo and Fuyuki getting content in Equestria, Sgt. Frog will never be the same! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that is not a good thing!)
(Things just kept getting worse back on Earth/Pekopon. Discord was well on his way to turning Tokyo into the chaos capitol of the world! With a 5 star restaurant in his castle!)
“We freely admit to serving horse meat in all of our products. Stop in for a bite, won’t you?” Discord said while holding a tray full of food, which he then tossed into the trash as he walked down the hall with his advisor, Kululu. He was happy with how things were turning out so far, but he wanted something a little bit…more.
“Kululu, how can we really make this into an adventure?”
“Personally, I’d go for gathering up all of Pekopon’s leaders, locking them in a room, and making them watch Troll 2 on endless repeat, but that’s just me.”
(Forget Discord…Kululu’s the real evil here! Troll 2 is up there with Batman and Robin as the US Military’s favorite torture devices for detained terrorists!)
Discord snapped his fingers.
“I’ve got it! The next time I see Twilight Sparkle, I will give her wings and make her abandon her friends! The bronies will cower before the villain they once praised as a pretty cool guy!”
“I have an even better idea, commander.” Kululu said. He whispered his plan to Discord, which was met with a huge smile.
“That is the best idea I have ever heard! This is exactly why I picked you as my #1 assistant, Kululu. And you’re much funnier than Spike.”
“And that’s sort of approximately how it happened. Fuyuki is living every brony’s dream, and my villainous scheme to take over Pekopon has resulted in the most awkward heel turn since R-Truth smoked a cigarette on WWE Raw.” Keroro took a deep breath after spilling his guts to Momoka. The young girl remained completely silent. She picked Keroro up again, a bit more gently this time.
“Where is Discord?”
(Psst…don’t tell Momoka, but Discord turned her house into his castle in the short time she’s been gone. If she ever finds out, the results will not be pretty.)
At that time, Fuyuki had just finished presenting himself in the classroom as Apple Bloom’s show and tell subject. He was really enjoying himself. However, he had to restrain himself from making comments about “watching the show.” He could say that all day in his own universe, but this was another story. Very few ponies seemed aware of the legendary fourth wall. He also refrained from mentioning anything about Discord. The fillies knew nothing about the spirit of chaos and disharmony’s latest escapade. As far as they knew, the kid with the blue hair was the result of a spell gone wrong; at least that was Twilight’s story.
After the presentation was over, all of the ponies wanted to meet Fuyuki and learn more about him.
(Oh no, Fuyuki’s becoming a bad Mary Sue! I know he’s the Rodney Dangerfield of our show, but this is just too sappy!)
Just then, someone burst through the front door. It was a red and black filly with wings and a horn. She wore a black cape, tons of hoof accessories, sunglasses, and moose horns for decoration. Her mane was stylized after the famous DJ Vinyl Scratch and her tail after Rainbow Dash. Everypony was left staring in confusion at the little pony in front of them.
“Yo…you crazy kids may wanna drop this motha-buckin’ lesson like my momma’s bass cannon and look outside!”
Apple Bloom and Fuyuki wandered outside the classroom and saw a strange pattern across the sky. No stranger to strange happenings, Fuyuki started puzzling and puzzling until his puzzler was sore about what could possibly cause such a disturbance. It suddenly hit him when he stared directly above himself. He could see the familiar buildings of his home city in the sky.
(What is the significance of what Fuyuki sees? Who is this young, jive-talking filly who looks like a fashion victim? And why haven’t I gotten that paycheck yet? Hasbro could spare a few hundred thousand bucks!)
The remaining members of the Armpit Platoon sat in the secret base, watching as everything started to unfold.
“You know, I have to hand it to you, Keroro. I did not see this coming. You struck a deal to bring a powerful villain from another show here as our ally. A foolproof plan…and you still managed to screw it up!” Giroro said. His expression went from smug to shock when he noticed his commander’s fiery eyes.
“Enough! Discord has messed with the wrong frog! No one gets to become the supreme leader of Pekopon but me! Pack your froggin’ bags, Corporal! We are gonna go to Equestria, find those ponies that beat Discord on the show, and enlist their help!”
“Okay…how exactly are we going to do that?”
“Weren’t you paying attention when I explained it back in chapter 1? We’ll use Kululu’s Fourth Wall Wrecker!” Giroro suddenly noticed something strange on the monitor. He could see strange images in the sky. Images of a village filled with ponies.
“If I’m on some kind of drug, I swear I’ll quit it cold turkey!” Meanwhile, Keroro was still ranting.
“But the real reason I’m frustrated is PonyWithAPen’s lack of originality! The whole ‘see another world in the sky’ thing was very clearly inspired by the first Digimon series!” Giroro stared blankly at his commanding officer, and walked away.
“I’m going to prepare a hero’s burial for the fourth wall…rest easy, brave warrior.” Giroro held back his tears as he made the announcement. Keroro stared on, annoyed.
Discord sat back and laughed manically as his plan sprang into action. Upon Kululu’s suggestion, he had decided to merge Equestria and Japan, creating situations for both countries’ inhabitants.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Kululu. Needlessly complicating the everyday functions of Pekopon and Equestria is going to provide us with even more chances for chaos! As a celebration, I think we should make Tamama do some silly dances for us as entertainment!”
As Discord laughed, Tamama became shakier. It was clear all the chocolate milk he was drinking was having a terrible effect on him.
Please…no more…I’ve had all the chocolate milk and dancing I can take…Mr. Seargent… Momoka…help me…
(Wow…that was a relatively dark scene to end the chapter. Is this a comedy fan fiction or have we shifted right into grimdark? I read Cupcakes, you know. Couldn’t sleep for a week. Oh, the chapter’s ending. I should say something profound. Um…ponies…ponies with elaborate backstories who appeared for 5 seconds on-screen with John Travolta and Tim Allen! Actually, I think a pony voiced by John Travolta or Tim Allen would make for a great time. Bleh…can I just have my check and go to the bank, already?)
(Oh no…I hope that chapter title is just a placeholder. Don’t go making this into a musical, now! Unless you have Daniel Ingram and William Anderson chained in the basement churning out songs, this could only be a disaster!)
Word traveled fast about the merging of Ponyville and Tokyo. As it turned out, Discord’s move literally shattered the fourth wall…the two worlds were now real to each other. In a situation where most ponies and people were panicking, a blue flash screamed across the sky. Rainbow Dash was on the move, searching for the ringleader of the operation that brought Discord here so she could “interrogate” him or her. Fuyuki had mentioned a “Keroro” while having a discussion the day before. Before long, she reached the Hinata home. Strangely, the door was hanging wide open.
Natsumi was in her room, still trying to convince herself that all of this was one big, disturbing nightmare. Suddenly, the door opened. Keroro entered, which made her really angry. It was his fault that all of this had happened.
“Stupid frog! I am going to turn you into my dinner!” Keroro avoided a punch and tried to explain himself.
“Would you shut up and listen for one second?” Natsumi, seeing the ferocity and seriousness in the frog’s eyes, complied.
“Listen to me…I’m no longer working with Discord. That overgrown jerk screwed me like Vince McMahon screwed Bret the Hitman Hart!”
(Another wrestling reference? Really? That’s it. I’m now convinced that PonyWithAPen is creatively bankrupt!)
“What are you talking to me for? This is more of a matter for Fuyu…” Natsumi paused, remembering that her brother had vanished just the day before.
“It doesn’t matter! We’ll get Fuyuki back! Just as soon as I’m done bringing Discord to justice!” Keroro revealed a book he carried, entitled “9001 Ways to Brutally Torture Your Victims.” Natsumi’s eyes grew wide at the title of the book.
“I borrowed this from Kululu! I bet Discord’s laughing right now. Well, I’m gonna make him scream!” Keroro stepped forward, only to suddenly get tackled to the floor. Standing on top of Keroro, and in front of Natsumi, was Rainbow Dash. The red-haired teen was dumbfounded.
“No way! Don’t tell me you’re from that show. You look way too cool for My Little Pony!” Rainbow looked amused.
“I appreciate the compliment. Kids love me, bronies love me…bronies especially, but that’s not why I’m here!” Keroro struggled to stand up.
“You! Are you Sgt. Keroro?” Keroro nodded.
“Yes I am! Sgt. Keroro reporting, sir!” Rainbow almost fell over in shock.
“I’m a girl, you idiot!”
“Oh…sorry!” Rainbow stomped over him and trotted up to Natsumi, who was sitting on her bed.
“Please tell me you aren’t as dense as him.” Natsumi’s eyes opened wide.
“Did you just…compare…me…to…him?”
“Look, I’m not going to sit here all day and take this!” Natsumi threw her hands in the air.
“Wait, why are we fighting? Aren’t we on the same side?” Rainbow grew skeptical.
“Depends. Do you want to defeat Discord as much as I do?” Natsumi nodded and pointed to Keroro. The green frog had retrieved his book, which went flying when Rainbow made her dynamic entry.
“Pick a method. Any one will do.” Rainbow smirked.
“Okay, frog. I forgive you for calling me a boy. Hop on!” Keroro nodded.
“We’re gonna run Discord out of town like when the Pekoponians disowned disco music!” Rainbow nodded. She looked over to Natsumi.
“What’s disco music?”
“Oh, don’t mind him. He’s very much consumed by popular culture.” Rainbow smiled.
“Yeah, Fuyuki mentioned that.” Natsumi perked up at the mention of her brother.
“You know my brother? How is he? He’s not doing anything stupid, is he?” The pegasus shook her head.
“He’s a good kid. He’s a bit out there, but I like him.” Natsumi sighed with relief, as Rainbow had answered her question.
“I’m just glad he’s okay! Hope he hasn’t been a pest!” Rainbow shook her head again.
“Nah. He’s actually been great to have around! The kids love him because he’s always telling them about the paranormal!” Natsumi smiled nervously.
“Oh, so my brother’s turning the next generation of ponykind into ghost busters. That’s a comforting thought.” Rainbow chuckled.
The group traveled down into the secret base, where Giroro still sat, watching the monitors closely. He turned his head when he heard them enter. Something about the group just didn’t seem right. It was then that the corporal realized that there was a pony standing in front of him.
“Keroro, where’d you get that pony? And furthermore, how much of our monthly budget did you spend on it?” This question did not sit well with Rainbow Dash.
“Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I am worth ten times what your monthly budget might be, frog!” Keroro hopped off of her.
“Now now, let’s not argue, my faithful steed.” This too, did not sit well with her.
“Don’t start pushing your luck, Keroro!”
“Hey guys, let’s not forget the mission: driving Discord out of town like disco music!” Natsumi said. Giroro grabbed his trusty gun.
“Finally a voice of reason! Let’s move out!” It didn’t take much to get Giroro to go along with a plan he didn’t find incredibly idiotic.
(Oh finally, we’re cutting back to Discord! He is easily the most compelling character in this entire fanfic!)
“Why thank you!” Discord said, grinning. He sat on his throne, watching the chaotic consequences of his latest escapade.
All of the major news networks were covering the disastrous merge of Earth and Equestria. The chaotic one took great pleasure in reading the headlines flashing across the multiple television screens.
“Disaster strikes as mankind and ponykind forced to meet! Ooh, here’s another one: Discord demolishes wall between fantasy and reality! And yet another one! Wait a minute…Discord sucks?? Celestia rules, Discord drools?” The latter headlines infuriated him. He took a closer look at the source.
“That explains everything. That headline came from the Pony News Network! Celestia owns that station and uses it to peddle her propaganda!” Kululu entered the room.
“Your royal Highness of Chaos, it looks like we have some visitors! Ku-kukuku!” He pointed to one of the monitors. Indeed, in a short time, Keroro had gathered the remainder of his platoon plus the Mane Six. Discord chuckled.
“Shall I pull the lever for my special trap door that leads to our torture chamber in the basement?” Kululu asked.
“No, I want to speak with that little green frog. I’ve got a Gundam toy with his name on it! Let them in!” Discord said, laughing.
“Okay. Clicky!” Kululu activated the door into Momoka’s mansion, allowing Keroro and the group to enter. This led to Twilight feeling a little suspicious.
“I feel a little suspicious. Wait, this is one of those kinds of shows? Friendship is Magic has much smarter writing than this!”
(That may be so, but Friendship is Magic doesn’t have an awesome narrator, now does it?)
“That’s enough. We need to find Discord so I can shoot him in a thousand places for making things so unneedlessly complicated!” Giroro said.
“Well ah, for one, like it. Ah get to break that one wall that Pinkie Pie always does! They don’t let me do it in our show!” Applejack said.
Discord could hear every word as they approached.
“I’ll be breaking a lot more than just the fourth wall, Applejack! I will gladly break your minds again! And then I will rule over two worlds!”
Just then, a siren went off. The group had found the throne room. Kululu opened the door for them.
“The chumps are here, boss!” Keroro and his rag-tag group entered the room to face Discord.
“I agree with the Pony News Network! Discord, you suck! I’m the only one who can conquer this planet! With my trusty manual, I will make you humble!” Keroro declared as he stood in a triumphant stance on Rainbow Dash’s head.
(With those words, the gauntlet was thrown down. The battle lines were drawn. What will happen next? Find out next time in “A Crossover With Chaos” Chapter 6! See? I can be epic when the situation calls for it!)
Discord was amused. Keroro, by comparison, was absolutely enraged. The entire platoon was seeing a side of the sarge that rarely surfaced due to his lazy and carefree nature.
“Look at him! It’s as if Discord smashed his rarest Gundam model!” Natsumi said, surprised. Fuyuki was the only one who could calm him down when he was like this. Apparently, the boy hadn’t gotten the memo that a gigantic battle was about to take place. Fuyuki was back in Ponyville watching over a bunch of the fillies as the general populace of the town ran amok in terror.
“Fuyuki! What are we going to do?” Scootaloo asked him.
“I don’t know, but I’ll think of something.” Somehow, having all of these fillies depend on him made him feel oddly heroic. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.
“Fuyuki! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Discord turned on Keroro and now they’re about to have a huge showdown!” It was Dororo, the one who’d been forgotten in all of this. Fuyuki turned to him.
“Wait, how do you know that? Aren’t we both trapped here in Equestria?”
“We were…Discord split something called the fourth wall in half, so both of these worlds exist simultaneously. Twilight and the others have already gone to face him. I am staying here for now. I’m still sore at Keroro for trading me to Pinkie Pie! We’re supposed to be platoon mates!” Dororo’s tone turned to sorrow at the end. Fuyuki patted him on the back and started running towards the edge of Ponyville, hoping to transport himself back to his own world. Dororo continued to sit by himself until three others sat next to him. He looked up.
“Oh…hello. Don’t mind me.”
“Hey there, mister! Why are ya cryin?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Do you really want to know?” Dororo asked her.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and herself chimed in unison.
“Okay, but it’s a long story and the audience probably wants to watch Discord and Keroro trade somewhat-witty one-liners.”
(That they do, Dororo! But I’m sure the girls will be entertained.)
Back at Discord’s domain, Keroro finally hopped down from Rainbow Dash’s head.
“You see this book? I am going to put you through every single one of these!” Keroro said, his eyes still on fire. Discord looked amused.
“9001 Ways to Brutally Torture Your Enemies, eh? That’s a good one. Kululu showed me all of the best methods on his Kindle.” The villain chuckled, causing Keroro to scowl even more.
“I prefer #8,998, myself.” Kululu said.
“Why is it always 9,001, anyway? Why not just 9,000?” Discord asked.
“I have a book called ‘9001 Exotic Recipes for Exotic Equines’ back at home in my library. Someone really likes that number around here.” Twilight said. “But that’s beside the point! Discord, we’ve come to bring you back to Equestria!” This only invited laughter from the beast.
“And just how are you going to do that?” Discord asked, mockingly.
“It’s simple, old buddy! We will rock you!” Keroro said, causing nearly everyone behind him to fall over in an exaggerated reaction to his pun.
“Really?? Of all the cheesy summer action flick one-liners, that’s the one you went with?” Rainbow said, cringing. Keroro turned around.
“I didn’t see you offering up any good ones, Skittles! Should I have instead yelled ‘taste the rainbow, mother-’”
An explosion interrupted Keroro’s naughty word. Standing there in the shadows were Tamama, Dororo and Fuyuki. Discord just smiled.
“I figured you’d all be back. Tamama, dance for our nice guests!” He snapped his fingers. However, the young tadpole did not obey.
“Time for me to steal the spotlight! Tamama…Impact!” Balls of energy came firing from his mouth as the beleaguered youngest platoon member took every shot he could at Discord. After finishing his barrage, Discord could not be seen. Tamama’s massive attack had left the entire room in a smokescreen.
“From now on, they’ll have to call you…Swisscord!” The kid smirked. Giroro came over to him.
“That was actually pretty good. You did it, Tamama!” Unfortunately, laughter could be heard coming from the spot where Tamama had focused his attack.
(Yes, it was a pretty epic moment for the youngster. It’s just too bad he aims like a Stormtrooper.)
“Sorry, Tamama…I’m afraid your moment of triumph is in another castle!” As the smoke cleared, it became evident that Tamama’s blasts of energy had all missed Discord.
(It seemed hopeless for our heroes. Tamama couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, and Kululu was still working against the Armpit Platoon! Looks like I’ll soon be working for the Discord show! Hey dragon man, can we talk salary later?)
It was just then that Twilight remembered something important.
“Uh…hello? I’ve been standing here for about a half hour now with the Elements of Harmony on standby.” Everyone reacted accordingly. Discord recoiled in horror.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” It was Twilight’s turn to smirk.
“Discord, you are going to pay for splitting the very fabric of space and time. You committed first degree murder on the fourth wall, and that’s enough to put you away for a long, long while.” Discord, clearly backpedaling now, tried to keep his cool.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever, Officer Sparkle!” Twilight began glowing. She had activated her element. Quickly the power made its way around until all six elements were as one. For once in his life, Discord’s sarcastic quips had finally caught up to him.
“Fine, you win again, Twilight Sparkle. But just remember, as long as there is goody-good sugarbowl nonsense in this world, I will always be around to disturb the peace! You’ll never fully defeat me, young lady!” Discord said, knowing his words were only stalling for time as his inevitable re-forming into stone drew closer.
And then Vinbow McDashington crashed through the wall, violently blew Discord into bloody pieces and yelled something very vulgar as she rocketed off into the night.
The End.
…
(Just kidding! But you have to admit, we got you good! We at least have to show you how she did it!)
As Twilight and the girls prepared to turn the pesky Discord to stone once more, they were suddenly met by another violent explosion. This time, a young alicorn filly flew through the air and stopped just above Discord. She was not alone. The Cutie Mark Crusaders (minus Babs, who was back in Manehattan) peeked out from behind the massive weapon the other filly carried.
“Yippee ki yay, mother-!” The filly opened fire, nearly blinding and deafening the entire group as she fired blast after blast at Discord. When the onslaught was finally over, the walls were covered in blood. Discord, as the group knew him, was nowhere to be found. Twilight and the girls removed their elements and put them back in the box. The mysterious filly had landed with the gigantic weapon and the Cutie Mark Crusaders in tow.
Immediately, the crusaders checked their flanks. Nothing had changed.
(Sadly, becoming the “Cutie Mark Crusader Discord Demolition Derbyists, yay!” had no effect on their cutie marks.)
Momoka burst in the door. She realized within seconds that she had been late to the action. She approached Twilight.
“Where is Discord?” she asked.
“Oh, he’s there, and there, and there, and I think over there, too.” Rainbow said, pointing toward various corners of the room and mortifying Twilight at the same time.
Keroro stood there, stunned.
“Well, at least we all get medals...”
“That’s right, you do!” A booming voice echoed throughout the room. Within seconds, the entire group, minus Discord’s bloody chunks, was warped to Canterlot Castle. At that moment, Celestia chose to delay the repair of the fourth wall, which she now controlled thanks to Discord’s demise. The ponies, humans and frogs found themselves in Princess Celestia’s throne room.
“Thank you all for helping to defeat Discord once and for all…though you could have done it a little cleaner.” Vinbow chuckled, embarrassed.
“Time for the medal ceremony. Award one medal each to the heroes that saved Equestria and the planet of the humans from total chaos!”
Luna brought out the medal box and bestowed one medal each upon Fuyuki, Dororo, Vinbow, Tamama, Natsumi, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. This, naturally, prompted some questions from everyone else who didn’t get one.
“Hey…how come we all didn’t get medals, princess?” Twilight asked in an earnest, non-complaining way.
“Because you didn’t use the elements before young Vinbow took matters into her own hooves.” Twilight nearly fell flat on her face.
“This is going to be one heck of a friendship letter.”
At the gate bridging the two worlds, it was finally time for the parties to say their goodbyes.
“I’ll miss you, Twilight. I don’t have a lot of friends who appreciate books like I do back home.” The pair hugged.
“You will, someday, Fuyuki. I promise.” Twilight said, smiling back at him.
Giroro and Rainbow briefly acknowledged each other’s awesomeness, Pinkie and Tamama promised they would have an eating contest if he ever came back, and the rest of the group just talked for a couple minutes, wishing they’d had more time to spend together.
Finally, Dororo and Fluttershy had to say goodbye.
“I’ll miss you, Fluttershy. Besides Koyuki, I’ve never had anyone treat me so well.” They hugged.
“Oh Dororo…I’ll miss you too. Goodbye.” She gave him a warm smile as they departed. With that, the Armpit Platoon and their human friends stepped back through the fourth wall, making it back to their own world just moments before the wall finished repairing itself, sealing off the two worlds from each other.
Fuyuki had a question for Dororo.
“Hey…I thought you wanted to stay in Equestria with Fluttershy.”
“I did. But I have Koyuki here on Pekopon, and I couldn’t bear to leave her behind. Plus, I got a medal and Keroro didn’t. That’s good enough for me!” The pair shared a laugh. Keroro scowled.
“Why the frog didn’t I get a medal?? I helped defeat Discord too, you know!” Natsumi grabbed him and picked him up.
“Boy, you are one stupid frog…”
(And as Dororo and the group admired their medals, Keroro was the only one to complain about not getting one. Big surprise. Also, Kululu and Pinkie Pie each spent 3 days in solitary confinement for their roles in the Discord fiasco. Don’t you just love happy endings?)
