Unwell

by HazamaBrony

First published

Twilight Sparkle struggles to balance a new relationship with Rainbow Dash and her mental illness.

Twilight Sparkle has a secret. Not one that can change the world or overthrow the Princesses. But it is one that hangs over her head every day. One that colors her every thought and action. Or at least, that is how it seems to her. But when a rainbow colored pegasus asks her out on a date, will she learn to see past it, or will her secret tear apart a budding relationship?

Inspired by the excellent fic Asylum by Daemon of Decay.

Takes place before "A Canterlot Wedding."

Thanks to SilverSugar for the cover art. You can check out her other works here

Twilight Velvet

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I was so proud of my little filly.

Only fourteen years old and already the toast of Canterlot. Only fourteen years old and already magical enough to perform magical transformations. Only fourteen years old and the apprentice of the Princess herself!

Maybe proud was an understatement. After all, proud is for when your filly gets an A on a quiz. The word seemed somewhat insufficient for what my little Twilight Sparkle has accomplished.

So, taking out your filly to a cutie mark and Princess apprenticeship celebration was quite justified. I, my husband, our colt Shining Armor, and even Princess Cadance were all going to be there. Shining had to ask for the day off from his guard training, but after explaining that his sister was the pony that had hatched a dragon and become the student of the Princess, the guard had relaxed the rules and let him have a day off.

I think that they might have been scared that they would have been transformed into plants if they had refused.

In any case, the family was together for the first time in ages! And yes, I do count Cadance in there with the rest of the family. Goodness knows that she had spent enough time with all of us. Besides, Twilight would have been devastated if “the best foalsitter in the history of foalsitters” wasn’t able to come.

Twilight had been given the choice of where to go for dinner, and she had of course chosen the Bale. Goodness, that little filly could not get enough hay burgers and fries. It was a little bit… quaint for the great Twilight Velvet, but it was the decision of the guest of honor. And, dare I say, she had earned it.

So there we all were, having a good time and laughing in a diner across town and listening to Cadance tell some of the tales that she heard in her lifetime. (I must say, I could be quite jarring to be reminded that that youthful looking mare was actually many times older than myself.)

“… and then I said, ‘that’s not part of the pillow, that’s one of my feathers!’” Cadance said, a large grin on her face as she finished her joke. “Needless to say, he never made that mistake again.”

“Cadance, honey, do remember that there are children at the table,” my husband, Star Sparkle, said.

“I know, I know,” she said, still grinning. “I’ll keep it foal friendly.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Shining Armor quickly interjected. “I’m an adult!”

“We know, Shining, but your little sister is not,” Cadance said, looking a little bemused at Shining’s outburst. In fact, she looked a little like a wife amused at her husband’s antics.

I was going to have to ask her about that. I mean, it was true that Shining was of age now, but the thought of somepony as ancient as Cadance dating him right away was a little odd. I mean, she practically helped raise him.

Oh well, a conversation for another time. Right now, the evening was all about my wonderful little filly.

“So, Twilight, how are you liking the dinner?” I asked.

“Fine.”

“Do you want dessert?”

“Yes.”

“What is the magic word?” Star Sparkle asked, and I shot him a glare. Of all the days to nitpick about manners, you would think that our filly’s celebration party would be near the bottom of the list.

“Please.”

I frowned. Twilight was being unusually frugal with her words. Ah well, it was probably just nerves. After all, I would be quite nervous if I had been chosen to learn from the princess herself, and with Twilight’s slightly neurotic personality, I can only wonder how nervous she must be.

But after all, that was part of why we threw this little party. After that harrowing test, we all needed a chance to unwind. Really, it is a far cry from relaxing to suddenly find yourself a potted plant.


That night, I woke up to the sound of crying coming from my dear Twilight Sparkle’s room.

“Honey, wake up,” I said, blinking the sleep out of my eyes as well. “Twilight probably had a bad dream. Come on, wake up.”

It was no use. My husband had always been a very heavy sleeper. Why, sometimes I had to practically slap him to rouse him.

Another loud sob from Twilight’s room broke me from my reverie. “I’m coming, Twilight!” I yelled down the hall, hoping to calm her a little.

I could tell that something was wrong the instant I entered her room. It looked like the aftermath of one of my children’s pillow fights. Feathers were everywhere, and both the pillows were resting on the floor, completely shredded. The only difference was that Shining was nowhere to be found, having headed back to barracks to continue his guard training, and that my little Twilight was curled up into a ball in the corner of the room, weeping.

“Twilight, darling, what’s wrong?” I asked, trying to stroke her mane to calm her down. To my surprise, however, she pulled away from me.

“Don’t hurt me!” she wailed, covering her face with her forelegs. “I swear I didn’t tell my dad anything! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Shh, Twilight, it’s alright. I would never hurt you, and dad wouldn’t either, no matter what you’ve kept from us,” I said in my most soothing voice. She must have had quite the nightmare to be this scared.

“LIAR!” She practically spat the word in my face. “You aren’t my mom! Stop pretending! You're one of them!”

“Sweetie, what are you talking about?” I was beginning to get a little scared of what was happening to my little filly. Normally she had calmed down by now after one of her nightmares, but the way that her mood had flipped from terrified to angry was anything but calm.

“Stop it, stop it, stop it! Stop pretending! I want my real mom! Let her go! Where is she?” she demanded, her horn lighting up.

Before I knew it, she had charged up and unleashed a powerful blast.

Luckily, she wasn’t aiming at me, but that didn’t save the lamp that shattered into a million tiny pieces with a loud bang.

“No!” Twilight shouted, “I broke it! The shadows! What will stop them now?” As soon as her outburst faded, she went back to crying.

Before I could say another word, however, Star Sparkle rushed into the room.

“What happened?” He asked, looking rather panicked. “I heard a loud bang!”

“Never mind that, Star!” I said, thinking quickly. “Go get the magic suppression stone that Celestia gave us!”

“But…” he protested, looking from Twilight to me and back again.

“GO!” I shouted, and then immediately hoped that my shout hadn’t upset Twilight even more.

He nodded and galloped out of the room. I turned my attention back to Twilight. Luckily, at least in some twisted definition of the word, Twilight was still crying and not attacking anything.

I tentatively reached out and began stroking her mane. She had always like that, and hopefully it would calm her down. Fortunately, it seemed to work.

A minute later, my husband rushed back in, holding a rainbow colored rock in his mouth. He quickly spat it on to the floor and crushed it under his hoof. I immediately felt all the magic in the room flee, leaving the three of us without even the slightest levitation spell.

Satisfied that Twilight could no longer smash anything with her incredible magic, I turned to my husband. “Dear,” I said, keeping my eyes on the sobbing filly in front of me, “go send a letter to Celestia. Your magic should work outside of this room.”

For a moment I was worried that he would protest, but thankfully he just turned and ran out of the room again, leaving me alone with Twilight.

“Oh, my precious Twilight,” I said, “what is happening to you?”

Doctor Hooves 1

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As always, Twilight Sparkle was on time.

She was most definitely my most punctual patient. In the three years that I had been seeing her, she had only missed an appointment twice, and on one of those occasions I found out that she had nearly ended up as a hydra’s snack.

She had managed to avoid such a fate, and the next time I saw her, she told me that she had learned a lesson about not denying phenomena just because it didn’t fit into her worldview.

I told her that that was how we in Ponyville managed to stay sane with a pony like Pinkie Pie and her pinkie sense around.

The other time she missed an appointment was not her fault in any way, shape, or form.

Hopefully, one day I can convince her of that.

In any case, I saw her practically hop through the door to my work area and almost bounce onto the couch.

“How are you today, Doctor?” she said with infectious cheer.

As a side note, I could never get her to refer to me as anything other than my title. Even when she called me by my given name, it was always ‘Doctor Hooves’, never just ‘Hooves.’ Oh well. At least she wasn’t as bad as my parents, who always insisted on calling me ‘the doctor in the family,’ or, on occasion, just ‘the Doctor.’

That last one made the more science fiction literate of my patients giggle, for some reason.

In any case, it would be rude and quite contrary to the purpose of my profession to just ignore Twilight.

“Quite well, thank you. And how are you today, Twilight?” I asked.

“I’ve been doing very well myself, thank you,” she said. “And before you ask, no symptoms again this week.”

I hated that I had to do that with her. Every week, I had to ask the same Celestia forsaken question. In my opinion, it was focusing too much on the problem, bringing her condition to the forefront and reminding her of it.

To make matters worse, I was unfamiliar with the question. It felt foreign on my lips. With Ponyville being such a small community, Twilight was the only one who needed to be asked that question. The rest of my patients just need somewhere safe to vent. With Twilight, I needed to keep on top of the symptoms from her condition, and the side effects of any medications that I was prescribing. It was slightly overwhelming when she first moved here, but over the last three years I had become accustomed to it.

Didn’t mean that I liked it.

“I’m not bothering you by asking that every week, am I?”

Twilight waved a hoof dismissively. “No, no, it is your job after all. It has just gotten routine, that’s all.”

“Oh, I see. I suppose that I have gotten a tad predicable,” I said.

Twilight laughed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Well, they do say that variety is the spice of life.”

“Well, too much spice can ruin a dish,” Twilight said triumphantly, as if our conversation was a debate. “Trust me, I know. That was the last time Spike ever let me cook.”

I felt my ear twitch. I had been meaning to talk to Twilight about Spike for a while. I just had never found the right way to bring it up. And I didn’t want to say anything to ruin her good mood today.

“So, you seem to be in a happy mood today. Is there anything in particular that is responsible for your good cheer?” I asked, changing the subject.

To my surprise, Twilight nearly burst out laughing. “Good cheer? Doctor, I don’t think that anypony but Luna says that anymore!”

I sighed. I have been told repeatedly that I have a somewhat formal and outdated way of talking, and to be honest, it sometimes got on my nerves. Not as much today, though. I think that Twilight’s good mood was infectious.

I decided to play along. “I am glad that my antiquated linguistics have caused you much pleasure,” I said, in the stuffiest voice that I could muster.

This time, Twilight did burst out laughing, and her laughter definitely was infectious. I found myself chuckling along with her.

After we stopped laughing, the room was silent. I found that most of my patients found talking about themselves or things that happened to them was slightly tiring, so I made a point of it to let them go along at their own pace, only breaking the silence if it went on too long, or they looked as if they had just thought of something.

After a few minutes, however, I decided to speak up.

“So, what are you so happy about?” I asked.

“Oh,” she said, looking slightly startled, “I was just having lunch with the girls on Tuesday, all six of us, and Fluttershy had the best news! She finally worked up the nerve to talk to Big Mac! She asked him out on a date and he said yes!”

“Oh, good for her!” I said, genuinely pleased. Almost the entire town knew that those two had had their eyes on each other for some time, but both were too shy to actually do anything about it.

“Yep! I am so happy for them!” Twilight said, almost literally beaming.

“Actually, this reminds me of a question that I have had for a long time,” I said, thankful for a way to bring up my question naturally. “Have you ever thought about romance yourself?”

Almost immediately, Twilights smile lost all of its cheer. It turned… regretful? Melancholy? I couldn’t find the right word to describe it. In any case, I was somewhat worried that I might have said the wrong thing.

“Well, I have, of course. I don’t think that there is a pony alive over fifteen who hasn’t,” she said, still smiling that odd smile. “I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.”

“And why not?” I asked.

“Well, who would want me? I am damaged goods after all.”

My heart almost broke, hearing that. Apparently I had said the wrong thing after all.

“Twilight, don’t talk like that, you haven’t shown any symptoms since the—“

“The smartypants incident, I know,” she said, cutting me off. “And I know that you are going to say that it has been a year and a half since then.”

“You see? As so long as you continue to take your medication—“

“Except my medication didn’t help back then!”

I hesitated. “Well, high amounts of stress can trigger relapses, regardless of medication. But that was immediately following your confrontation with Discord, back when he was evil. You must admit that something like that doesn’t happen often.”

“And entering into a relationship isn’t stressful? Being the element of magic isn’t stressful? Being one of Equestria’s heroes that could be called in to confront a villain at any time isn’t stressful? Oh, thank Celestia for that, or the pony that I enter into a relationship with might find out that I would be a burden.”

This was going nowhere. I needed to try a different tactic.

“Twilight, taking care of each other is part of any relationship. That alone does not make one a ‘burden.’ And,” I continued before she could cut me off, “a relationship won’t last long if one partner thinks of the other, or even themselves as a burden. Think of it as having an expanded safety net, if that makes you feel better.”

“I don’t need a bigger safety net! I have Spike for that!” Twilight protested.

“Spike won’t be around forever.”

“He will outlive me!”

“But do you really want him to spend his whole childhood being the only one you can count on? You say that you don’t want to be a burden to anypony, but what about him? Do you really think that it is fair to him to be your only backup plan?”

This was the point that I had felt that I needed to bring up regarding the little dragon. He was a good guy, and very dependable, but he was still a child. He needed to be able to play, without having to worry about Twilight. And with the way that Twilight let her condition color the way she thought about herself, I wouldn’t be surprised if Spike felt that he had to worry all the time.

Twilight apparently had nothing to say to this, and silence reigned over the room once again. This time, I was going to let our session expire before breaking it. I had just given her a lot to think about, and I wanted to give her time to process it.

I was just about to mention that our time was up for the week, when she spoke again.

“It’s because I’m asexual,” she said.

“What?” I asked. I felt as if my train of thought had just derailed. I had no clue what she was talking about.

“Why I have never shown romantic interest in any other pony. It’s because I’m asexual. You like that answer better, right?”

That was such a transparent lie that I was tempted to call her on it. I could say that I flatly didn’t believe her. I could say that I was wondering why she didn’t bring this up first. I could say that… but I wasn’t going to. Twilight would only act like this if she really wanted to avoid any more discussion of the subject. She had only acted like this a couple of times before, and every time she had needed more time before she could talk comfortably about the subject.

And our session had run out of time.

“All right, Twilight, I’ll take your word for it. See you next week?” I asked.

She nodded. “See you next week, doctor.”

Without a further word, she turned and trotted out the door. I sighed, and began to prepare for my next patient.

Rainbow Dash 1

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It was another awesomely sunny day in Ponyville, and this time, it was all thanks to me. I had settled into a routine of clearing the clouds by myself every other day, and leaving the rest to the other ponies on the weather team. That way, I could honestly say that I was doing half of the weather team work by myself, at least until summer ended. Then I would need help setting up rain clouds and stuff.

In the meantime I could practice tricks to my heart’s content without anypony having any reason to bother me.

“Hey! Rainbow Dash!”

Not that that would stop them from bugging me anyways. I came out of a triple inverted corkscrew and landed in the middle of the market, looking around for the pony that had distracted me. Easier said than done, considering the crowd in the market.

“Over here, Rainbow!”

I snapped my head towards the sound of my name and saw Twilight sitting at the café, enjoying a daisy sandwich and motioning for me to join her at her table. Heck, why not? I just realized how hungry I was after a full day… okay, afternoon, of cloud kicking and stunt flying.

“Sure thing, Twilight!” I yelled as I brushed my rainbow mane out of my eyes with a cyan hoof, and began making my way through the crowd. Normally I would have just flown over them, but my wings were a bit sore from all the flying I had been doing recently. No point in risking a cramp in midair, right?

“So,” I said as I took the seat opposite Twilight, “What you up to?”

“Oh, you know, just the usual,” she replied. “Just getting a bite to eat after my meeting with Doctor Hooves, before I check out the new shipments of books the bookstore just got.”

I rolled my eyes. “Twilight, you live in a library. What are you going to a bookstore for?”

“Hey, they would be for my personal collection! I like to own a book, that way I can know for sure that it will always be there, and not checked out when I most need it,” she grumbled.

The look on her face made me laugh. “I take it you are speaking from personal experience?” I said after I had caught my breath.

By Celestia, the way she was sulking was one of the cutest things that I had ever seen. Her purple eyes were glaring at nothing in particular, partially hidden by her straight purple mane the pink stripe standing out.

So I have a bit of a crush on her. Sue me.

“Seriously, who else in this town needs a book on how magic is affected by theoretical quantum mechanics?” she asked, still sulking.

“I have absolutely no idea what you just said,” I deadpanned. Smart as she could be, sometime she forgot that the rest of us were not magical geniuses. “Anyways, what did you need to see Doctor Hooves for? You got a cold or something?”

“He isn’t that kind of doctor, Rainbow. He’s the kind that you just sit down and talk to for a bit,” she replied.

“Oh. Sounds boring,” I said.

“Not really. He really keeps my head on straight, even if he does annoy me from time to time,” she replied, with an odd looking smirk on her face.

“Right, so how often do you meet?” I asked.

“Once a week.”

“How long?”

“Just half an hour every week.”

“Say ‘what’ if I can have the rest of your sandwich.”

“What? Wait—no!”

It was too late, I was already long gone, the remains of her sandwich in my hooves.


I laughed as I stuffed the last of the sandwich into my mouth and sprawled out on the porch of my house. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have done that, but Twilight is just far too much fun to tease. I don’t care if it makes me look like a little foal who doesn’t know how to act around his crush.

Heck, sometimes I do feel like a little foal in over her head with a crush. I mean, Twilight is almost the perfect mare! She is smart, funny, drop dead gorgeous in a nerdy sort of way! I would have made a move on her already if she had shown the slightest amount of interest in mares. I just didn’t want to lose her friendship if things went badly.

I mean, just because I can appreciate hot of any gender, doesn’t mean that everypony does. I have heard way too many horror stories of ponies being rejected simply because of their gender to just jump into romance like that, despite what my usual approach might lead you to think.

Anyways, I now had the rest of the day off with nothing to do except flight practice, and nothing was going to stop me this—

“RAINBOW DASH!”

Oh, for the love of Celestia!

“What, Twilight? You were almost done with your food anyways! You could not have been that attached to that sandwich!”

“No, that’s not what want to talk to you about,” she said. “Though I would have appreciated it if you had asked first.”

“Oh.” She was right, she probably would have just given me her sandwich if I had asked. Oh well, too late now. “So what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked as I flew down to talk to her face to face.

“Well, before you sped off, I was going to ask you if you could check in on Spike about once a day for the next couple days. I’m going to Canterlot for a bit, and I need somepony to just make sure that he`s doing all right,” she said.

“Oh, um… okay,” I responded. To be perfectly honest, that sounded like a giant pain. “What’s in it for me?” Eh, probably not the best thing to say to your crush, but come on. She could get somepony else to do it, right?

Twilight looked a little miffed at me saying that, but her expression soon mellowed out. “Well, I will be in Canterlot for the next few days,” she said, as if that solved everything.

“Right, so what?”

“That means I will be in Canterlot until Wednesday, understand?”

I still had no idea where she was headed with this. “Again, so what?”

“So I will be in Canterlot Sunday at midnight, right?”

“So—Wait!” It was finally dawning on me. “You don’t mean—“

“That I will be at the midnight release of the new Daring Do? Yes, Rainbow, that is precisely what I mean. And I could be persuaded to get an extra copy if you could—“

“I’ll check on Spike! I’ll help him with the library! I’ll even sleep over if that’s what you want me to do! Just promise me that you will get me that book! I’ve been waiting for it for so long!”

Twilight looked a little blown back at my outburst, but she quickly smiled. “You don’t need to go that far, Rainbow. Just check in on Spike twice a day. That should be enough. After all, he pretty much runs the library all the time in addition to helping me, so he should be fine. Just check that he hasn’t gotten himself into any trouble.”

“Will do Twilight!” I saluted her, then chuckled. “Wow, that kid must be more grown up than I thought if he's running the library as well. Heh, it almost sounds like he takes care of you instead of the other way around!”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Twilight instantly lost the smile she had just a second ago. She bit her lip and began staring right through me. It was kind of creepy how fast her mood turned around. “Hey, Twi, you ok? You look kind of down all of the sudden,” I said.

Her eyes instantly snapped back to mine, and I was startled to see them watering just a tiny bit. “Yes, Rainbow, I’m fine. You just reminded me of something that Doctor Hooves said today, that’s all.” she said, but I heard a small quiver in her voice.

“You, uh, you know, want to talk about it?” I asked. I couldn’t bear to see her like this, especially because of something that I said. And after all, she had said that talking to that doctor had helped her, so it wasn’t too far off to think that she might want to talk to me about it. And who knows, maybe it could help our friendship grow closer.

“No, Rainbow, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Or not. “Okay, Twi. I won’t push you. Heck, even someone like me has some deep dark secrets that they don’t want to talk about!” I said.

That apparently broke her out of her funk. “Deep dark secrets, Rainbow?” She asked, smirking. “You’re starting to sound a lot like Daring Do. Maybe I shouldn’t get you that book after all…”

“NO! I meant to say…um, is there anything that rhymes with ‘deep dark secret’?”

She laughed that musical laugh of hers, and I instantly felt relived. Crush or no, I hated making any of my friends feel bad or angry. I know that I can be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but I’m trying to catch myself more often.

“You can be very funny when you want to, Rainbow!” Twilight said, still smirking.

“Right, I meant to make you laugh. I certainly meant to do that. I was in no way panicking about having Daring Do taken away from me. Right,” I said sheepishly, which only made Twilight’s smile grow bigger.

“Well, I’ve got to go make sure all the books are shelved correctly before I go.” Twilight suddenly turned and began walking back into town. “It was nice talking to you, Rainbow.”

It was a good thing Twilight wasn’t looking back at me as she walked away, because if she had, she would have seen me practically melt at her final words. Gah, what was wrong with me? I never got this sappy over somepony saying that they liked talking to me.

Actually, when I thought about it, nopony ever said that they like talking to me. I think that Twilight was the first to say she enjoyed talking to me. I mean, I’m not exactly the best at avoiding putting my hoof in my mouth, and even the friends that I enjoy hanging out with, like Applejack, aren’t really big on conversation. So, yeah, I’ll admit that it was nice to have Twilight say that she liked talking to me.

Oh, wow, she really is making me sappy. I have to do something about this crush before Twilight finds out in some way. Not that I would mind her finding out, I just want it to be on my terms.

I guess I’ll talk to Spike tomorrow. He should know if Twilight even likes mares or not.

It’s not like it could hurt, right?


“Owwww…” I moaned, clutching my head in my hooves. Memo to self, make sure window is unlocked and open before trying to fly in through it. I guess that Twilight locked all the windows when she left. I’m just glad that I didn’t break it. I didn’t want to get cut up or have to replace Twilight's window.

Spike opened the window, narrowly missing my poor head, and took a look outside. “What in Celestia’s name was that noise…? Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash. Was that bang just now you?” the baby dragon asked.

“Yes. Those windows are tougher than they look,” I managed to gasp out between the throbbing in my head. “How are you doing, Spike?”

The small dragon actually looked kind of angry. “I was doing fine until you rammed into the library! You knocked down all the books… again! Now I have to reorganize all of them!”

Oops. “Sorry. I’ll help.” I tried to ignore Spike’s shocked look. It wasn’t like I never helped somepony after messing their day up somehow. There was that time that I…um… Oh! How about when I… no, that just made it worse. Hmm… maybe I should work on cleaning up after myself.

“So are you going to come in or just lie there staring at nothing?” Spike asked, looking impatient.

I nodded and began to fly up to the window, when Spike held up his hand.

“Use the door like a normal pony, Rainbow!”

Oh. Right.

***

A few very boring hours later, all the books were put back in their proper space. Trust me, it was a lot harder than it sounds, with this strange new system Twilight was using. Apparently, it was supposed to make it easier to find things by subject instead of the title of the book, but it just gave me a headache.

Well, whatever. As long as I could find Daring Do, I was set for books.

“So, Spike, how is Twilight doing lately?” I asked innocently. Time to get what I came here for. Funny, I think this was the only time I ever came to the library to get information.

“She’s doing fine, all things considered,” Spike said. He seemed really happy all of the sudden. I guess talking about Twilight made him feel better. That, and knowing that we were done shelving everything must have put him in a good mood.

Wait a second… “What do you mean, ‘all things considered’?” I asked.

“Well, she has been under a lot of pressure lately, with her research project for the Canterlot Charity Society.”

I nodded. Even I had heard of the C.C.S. They were some big name ponies that liked to help the less fortunate among us, as they put it. They sponsored all sorts of events, from upper class parties to Wonderbolt races, all in the name of helping others. All in all, they were good ponies.

“So what is she doing? It must be something big to get her to leave you alone,” I said.

“Well, when I asked her, she started speaking in science, so I couldn’t really tell. You'll have to ask her about it when she gets back,” Spike said, heading towards the kitchen. Good idea, I was really hungry. And it was about time to get down to business.

Time to steer the conversation to where I wanted it to go. “And here I thought that she was there to visit a coltfriend or something.”

Spike snorted at that. “Twilight, with a coltfriend? Not in a million years.”

My heart soared.

“Yeah, I don’t think she is interested in romance at all. She always tries her best to avoid that. Heck, she used to have panic attacks every time that somepony came on to her. At least, when she realized that she was being hit on. So, not that often,” he continued.

And my heart crashed back to earth.

“Then again, last time that happened I think she told the guy that she was gay, so she must have at least thought about it, right? Well, I guess I don’t really know.”

Buck it Spike, stop toying with my heart like this!

Wait… “So she said that she was gay?” I asked, hoping that I hadn’t misheard.

“That’s what I heard. Um… not that I was eavesdropping on her! I just wanted to make sure she was all right! Yes… there was no way I was eavesdropping on her!” he practically shouted, a false smile plastered on his face.

I could honestly not care less about if Spike was listening to things that he shouldn’t have been at that moment. I had a chance! I had a chance to get with the cutest and smartest mare in all of Ponyville!

“Thanks, Spike, you've been a big help! Okay, see you later!” I had to get home and plan for what I was going to say when Twilight got back into town.

“But you helped me…” he said, a confused look on his face.

“See you later, Spike!” I laughed as I took off and did a loop out of the library.

I was on top of the world.

Doctor Hooves 2

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As always, and just like last week, Twilight was on time.

And just like last week, she waltzed through the door with a large smile on her face.

“Hello, Doctor!” she chirped, beaming at me in a good imitation of a particular pink pony.

I smiled back at her, but the argument that we had gotten into last week was still fresh in my mind. Hopefully she would be in a better mood to talk about it today. Well, no reason to bring it up right away.

“Hello, Twilight. You look rather upbeat again today. I take it your trip to Canterlot was fruitful?”

“Oh, yes! The royal library is very well stocked, and they had almost every book I needed. And I could pretty much fill in all the gaps with my own knowledge. You see, the problem that I was running into was that the only materials with the magical retention that I needed tend to be expensive, and my project for the Canterlot Charity Society needs to be practical and cheap. But then I read that you can increase the amount of retention of quartz crystals by enchanting them to…” she began to ramble as she talked about her project in detail and at length.

I admit it, I zoned out. I was always one more for the study of the mind, rather than the hard math and magical equations that Twilight was good at. And I was quite pleased that Twilight was using her talents for something as noble as the Canterlot Charity Society’s contest.

You see, every year the society holds a contest for all the best and brightest minds to make the next world changing device or discovery. The winner gets a grant to continue their research and hopefully make the world a better place.

But while I was glad that Twilight was competing, I could never make heads or tails of what she was trying to do. I had made the mistake of asking her for the specifics once, and all that I could glean from the torrent of science that I had gotten in return was that it was a way to help ponies with a certain medical problem. The rest had gone right over my head.

“… and so I am much closer to getting a proof of concept, Doctor. Did you catch any of that?” she asked me.

I laughed. It was something of an in joke between to two of us. When she went into a technical speech, she would always ask that at the end, just to let me know that she didn’t expect me to follow it.

“Not a word,” I said. “So, Twilight, before we continue, I have to ask, did you experience any symptoms this week?”

To my surprise, Twilight’s ears fell back against her head. “Well, near the end of the trip, I noticed that I was having some thoughts that were not exactly… making sense…”

Oh. That wasn’t good. If she was having these thoughts then… wait a second…

“Twilight,” I said, “Have you been getting enough sleep?”

She flinched. “How did you know?”

I laughed again, trying to ease the tension. “It was you on a research trip. It wasn’t hard to guess.”

Twilight looked more sheepish than anything. “Well, I may have gotten less sleep than normal…”

“How much less, Twilight?”

“Over the last three days? About four, maybe five hours.”

“Twilight!” I said, just a tiny bit angry. “You know you need to take better care of yourself than that!”

“I know, I know! I know that I might relapse if I—“

“Relapse, nothing! I’m thinking of your general health, not just your mental health! Your body needs sleep!”

“I understand, doctor…” Twilight said, looking a bit put out.

“Now, let’s just chalk those disorganized thoughts up to fatigue. If they do continue, however, I want you to come to me. Any time, any day, you understand?”

“I understand.”

“I’m here for you, Twilight. Not just as your doctor, but as a friend.”

“I know, Doctor. And thank you,” Twilight said with a small smile on her face.

Apparently, neither of us could think of anything to say after that, and the room lapsed into silence.

I might not have been saying anything, but my mind was anything but silent. I was wondering if I should continue the discussion that Twilight and I were having at the end of our last session. In all likelihood, Twilight was lying to me, but I didn’t want to just come out and accuse her.

In the end, I decided that it would be best if I brought the subject up and just talked to her about it. Let her know I wouldn’t judge her, and let her come clean on her own.

“Twilight, I was wondering if you wanted to talk more about what you said at the end of our session last week?” I asked.

I evidently caught her off guard, as she stiffened and let out a noise of confusion.

“Let me clarify,” I said, not wanting her to think I was accusing her of anything, “last week you said that you were asexual. Did you wish to talk more about that? After all, we had no time to discuss it last week.”

“Oh, right, that…” Twilight said, looking pensive. “Well, it’s not that big of a deal… there really isn’t much to talk about…”

“Well,” I said, not wanting to let the subject go that easily, “has it ever caused you problems?”

Twilight looked shocked at the very idea. “How would it cause me any trouble?”

“Well, it is a rather rare orientation. I think that there are some ponies that don’t even believe in such a thing. Has that ever happened to you? Somepony not believing you when you told them?”

“Well…um… why would I tell them? It is kind of private…”

“What about when somepony asks you out on a date? Do you tell them then?”

“What makes you think anypony has ever asked me out?” Twilight asked, shifty eyed.

“Twilight,” I said, “You are a brilliant, ambitious and kind mare. I would be very surprised if nopony had ever asked you out.”

“But…” she began to protest, but then stopped. “No. You’re right, doctor. I was asked out a few times back when I lived in Canterlot.”

“What did you tell them?” I asked.

“I told all of them that I was gay.”

“And what about when a mare asked you out?”

“That never happened.”

“Really?” I said in surprise. I would have thought that with Twilight telling everypony that she was gay, at least a few mares would ask her out. It didn’t seem like she was lying however…

“Nope. Not once,” Twilight said.

Huh. “And what would you do if one did ask you out?”

“I would just say that I am not interested.”

“And if they wouldn’t take no for an answer?”

“I would just ignore them.”

“I guess that would be the best thing to do, as so long as they didn’t get to aggressive. But I do have one question… why not just tell everypony the truth?”

Twilight looked puzzled. “The truth?”

“That you are asexual?” I clarified.

Twilight laughed just a little too loudly. “Right! That! Of course! Um… I didn’t tell them because I think that…um…I, uh…”

Poor Twilight. I didn’t mean to put her on the spot like that. Still, any lingering doubts I had were banished. She was undoubtedly lying to me. It hurt a little that she didn’t trust me completely yet, but there was nothing much I could do about that besides being there for her.

“I thought that they wouldn’t believe me! Yes, that’s it! Asexuality is rare, and like you said, some ponies might not believe me! And it would be more trouble than it is worth to explain to them about it.”

Did I say that? Huh, I guess I did accidently give her an easy way out of my question.

After that, we both fell silent again. I couldn’t think of anything else to say that wouldn’t stress out Twilight more, and that was precisely the opposite of the reason she came to visit me. And Twilight had relief written all over her face as we dropped the subject.

After a few minutes, I saw Twilight get a faraway look in her eyes. She was thinking about something.

“Twilight,” I asked, “what is going through your mind?”

“Oh,” she said, “I was just thinking about the other thing that you said last week. You know… that it isn’t fair to Spike to keep looking after me for his whole life.”

“I see. And what do you think?”

“Well, now that I have had time to get my thoughts in order… I think that you are right. There have been times that it seems like he wants to get away from me and have some fun, but feels that he needs to make up an excuse just so I won’t say no… but…”

She paused, looking deep in thought. “Celestia…” she muttered under her breath, “Celestia wants him to learn responsibility. He is the first dragon to live among ponies, you know, so he needs to put a good hoof, er, claw, forwards.”

“And how do you think he is doing in that respect?” I asked.

“Very well, I think. I mean, he make mistakes now and then, but nopony really looks at him in a negative light, which is what Celestia wanted to avoid in the first place. He will make a fine ambassador someday. But like I said, you are right. He needs some time to be a child. And even if he didn’t, we still will have to part ways in the future.”

“Why?” This was the first time I had ever heard Twilight say something like that.

“Well,” she began, “eventually he'll become a teenager, and he'll need to start making a hoard, and find a cave to live in. It’s just part of his life cycle.”

“Really? I must confess, I know nothing of dragon biology.”

“It is quite a fascinating subject,” she said, waving a hoof dismissively, “but there are so few books on it. Anyways, I don’t know what I’ll do when it comes time for him to leave Ponyville. Ponies with A.C.M.S. are not exactly known for our ability to live alone, are we? I don’t really feel like I could handle it.”

“Well…” I said, mulling the situation over in my mind. “How long until Spike will need to leave?”

“Not for another ten years at the very least.”

I sighed. This was very much like Twilight; worrying about things far off in the future.

“Then you have plenty of time to get ready for that day, Twilight.” I said.

“But,” she protested, “what if I still don’t feel ready?”

“Then have your friends, or even the Princesses could help you.”

Twilight looked taken back, as if she had not thought of that. “True, they could help me find a caretaker.”

I winced. That was not precisely what I had had in mind. Still, there was no need to push right now. After all, we had at least ten years to convince her that she was better than that. And besides…

“Well, it looks like our time for the day is up. See you next week, Twilight?”

“Sure thing, doctor. See you next week,” she said.

As Twilight exited, I turned back to my notes.

Rainbow Dash 2

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Today was the day. No more chickening out. It was a beautiful Thursday, the sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky (thanks to me), and Twilight was finally back in town. I had tried to catch her after she had gotten home, but she had gotten back late yesterday, well after I had gone to bed, so I hadn’t managed to corner… er, talk to her yet. All I had to do was find her, and tell her before my courage ran out.

The finding part was proving harder than I had expected. Seriously, Ponyville wasn’t that big of a town, how could I be missing her?

Wait… today is Thursday. Didn’t she say something about meeting with somepony on Thursdays?

I wracked my brain trying to remember what she had said the last time we had talked… yes, she had said that she met with her doctor every week. Doctor… Hooves, I think.

Yes, yes… that was it! Now all I had to do was go to the doctor’s office and wait for her to show up!

First things first, I had to find where his office was. I flew off of the cloud I was using to look out over the town and landed in the street below. Even if I hated asking for directions, it was better than just flying out around town, right?

As I was just getting my bearings from my landing, I spotted a familiar shade of yellow and pink.

“Hey, Fluttershy! How are you doing?” I yelled over the crowd to catch her attention.

As always, the pegasus with the long pink mane flinched as she heard somepony yell her name. Seriously, I love Fluttershy like a sister, but she needs to find a way to grow a backbone without becoming a huge jerk. It would be nice to just talk to her without worrying about scaring her.

“Oh, hello, Rainbow. How are you today?” Fluttershy asked in a voice that I had to strain to hear over the hustle and bustle of the market place.

“Oh, I’m doing fine. I think that the bigger question is, how are you and Big Mac doing?” I said, nudging her with my elbow.

I grinned as Fluttershy turned redder than a holiday decoration. Fluttershy was so cute, especially when she was blushing. Heck, she is so cute she managed to make that big hunk of muscles that was Applejack’s brother look cute. And trust me, that is no easy task.

“I was just on my way to meet him,” she said, pawing at the ground nervously. “We have a lunch date today.”

“Then don’t let me keep you here!” I exclaimed over the crowd, causing Fluttershy to flinch again. “I just wanted to know if you know where Doctor Hooves’ office is.”

Fluttershy instantly seemed to perk up. “Oh, yes, I do. In fact, it’s right on the way to the café where I have my date!”

“Oh! Awesome! Could you show me where it is?”

“Sure, but could we get going, if that’s alright with you? I don’t want to be late for my date.”

“Huh? Oh, right,” I said as I nodded sheepishly. Immediately Fluttershy set of towards one of the more expensive restaurants in town. Dang, they really must like each other to spend that many bits on one another.

After a minute, however, just walking in silence was getting kind of awkward. I needed something to talk about to distract me from what I was about to do, or I would just chicken out, like I had done all the times before. “So, seriously, how are you and Big Mac doing?” I asked.

Fluttershy immediately got a dreamy look in her eyes. Or, at least, the eye that wasn’t hidden behind her mane. “Oh, it’s wonderful. It’s just, I dreamed of going out with Big Mac for such a long time, so when he finally asked me out, I nearly fainted with joy,” she admitted with a blush on her face.

I laughed. “So he was the one who asked you, huh? I guess that makes more sense. Still, I think you should have been the one to ask him. You need to be more assertive, Shy.” And yes, I realize the irony of ending the sentence with her shortened name like that.

“Maybe, but it all worked out in the end.” Wow, she really must be on cloud nine. Normally, she reacts to anypony telling her something like that with blushes and stutters.

“Well, I’m happy for you, Shy. I hope it works out.”

“Thank you, Rainbow. I hope so too. Ah, here we are,” she said, gesturing towards a building that was completely boring. Seriously, there was nothing that made it stand out at all. I don’t think I would have noticed it if she hadn’t pointed it out to me.

“Thanks, Fluttershy. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t been here.”

“Glad I could help. Have a nice day, Rainbow.” Without a further word, she turned and began to trot a little faster towards the café, where I could see a big red stallion waiting for her. Huh, I guess she really was in a hurry.

Anyways, I turned back to the featureless building. I really hoped Twilight was in here, cause if not then—

Wow, speak of Discord and he’s at your elbow. Twilight was just now walking out of the doctor’s office. “Hey Twi! How are you?” I practically shouted, ready to get an answer, one way or another.

“Waoh!” Twilight yelled, jumping up in the air in shock and falling back to earth with a crash. “Owww. Rainbow, you startled me!”

Oops. Not the best way to begin asking her out. Still, I could salvage this, or my name isn’t Rainbow Dash!

“So… um… uh, how are you today, Twilight?” Smooth, Rainbow. I’m sure that all the mares find stuttering and repeating yourself the hottest thing ever.

“I was doing well, until you decided to prank me like that!”

Oh, Celestia, she thought it was a prank! “No, no, I wasn’t trying to prank you. I just wanted to, um, ask you how you are?” And I just asked the same question three times in a row. Perfect. Just perfect.

Luckily, despite my floundering, Twilight’s face softened. “I just told you, Rainbow. Or did you already forget?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, right,” I said awkwardly. This was not going well at all.

“Anyways, Rainbow, I know why you are here,” she said.

What? I mean… what?

“How did you know?” I asked in a small voice.

“Oh, Rainbow. It's written all over your face. And the fact that you show up now, the first free time I have since coming back. You must really want this,” she said, a smirk on her face as she levitated an item out of the saddle bags I hadn’t even noticed that she was wearing.

I forced my eyes away from hers to look at what she was waving in front of my face. As soon as I got a good look at it, my breath went away.

Daring Do and the Stone of Kings.

The book! The book. The newest Daring Do. The one that I had been waiting almost a year for. The one that had been delayed twice. The one that everypony had said would be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

And it was right in front of my face.

“Yesssss!” I yelled in a voice that in no way resembled a squeal. “Thank you so much, Twilight! Oh, yes, yes, yesyesyes! Oh, wow! I’m gonna go read this now! Talk to you later, Twi!”

“You’re wel—“

The rest of her reply was drowned out by the wind rushing in my ears as I flew home at top speed, ready to devour the book I had in my hooves.


“Wow, Tank, this is a great book! I mean when Daring got caught by those human things, I nearly had a heart attack. Anyways, time for us to go to bed. Don’t look at me like that, it’s already past your bedtime. But man, today was a great day. I got to read this book and talk to Twilight about us… going on… a date… Oh, buck it!”


Today was the day. Ignore what I said about yesterday. I was tired from bucking all the clouds myself, so it wouldn’t have been a good time to talk to Twilight anyways. Today I told my team to do it without me, so everything was perfect and ready for me to talk to her.

That’s all I have to do. Talk to her. It is in no way the hardest thing that I have ever done. For Celestia’s sake, the rainboom was harder than this.

And maybe if I keep telling myself that, I’ll believe it. At least I’ve done the rainboom before. Here, aside from some picking up some ponies at the club, I was flying blind. And in my experience, flying blind tends to hurt.

No! If I keep thinking that way, I’ll chicken out. All I have to do is walk up to the library door, knock on it, and ask Twilight out on a date.

Ok, let’s do this. I pushed off the cloud that I was currently lounging on, waiting for it to get late enough that I wouldn’t be the first pony to the library, and flew down to the street below and landed in front of the library.

Alright, step one, knock on the door. Complete. Step two, have someone open it. Taking a while but—ah, there we go. Step three, ask her out.

“Hi there. Would you like to go on a date with me?” Alright. Step three complete. Now all I have to do is open my eyes and look at her reaction.

Or, in this case, Spike’s reaction. Oops.

“Umm, sorry, Rainbow, you’re just not my type,” he said with a smile on his face, looking as if he was just barely holding in laughter.

“NO! Nonono! I was um…” I stuttered.

“Let me guess. You were trying to say that to Twilight, right?”

All right, I was getting a little bit sick of being so surprised all the dang time. What’s next, the headless horse jumping out of a book?

“How did you know?” I asked sheepishly.

“Well, you did have all those questions about who Twilight was interested in. Adding the fact that you flew off in a rush once I said I once heard her say that she was gay and what you said just now and it’s elementary, my dear Rainbow Dash,” the little guy said, looking very proud of himself.

Well, when he put it that way, I guess I was being just a bit obvious. Still, Spike could be a good friend in a situation like this. But first…

“Hey, Spike, could I ask you to keep this quiet? I want Twilight to hear it straight from my mouth first, and after that it will be up to the two of us. So, keep it on the down low, please?”

Thankfully, the little dragon nodded. All right now all I need to do is find the mare herself.

“You can stop looking around, Rainbow, Twilight isn’t here right now.”

“Oh, really? I thought that she would be here considering that the library opened just a little bit ago.”

“It’s Friday, Rainbow. That means she's out running errands.” Spike looked at me like this was common knowledge. “She always runs her errands early Friday, before the crowds get to the library. In fact, I’m a little shocked that you're up this early. And shouldn’t you be out bucking the clouds? It is the middle of summer after all.”

“I just told my team to do it. I wanted to get this done as soon as possible,” I said, doing my best to ignore the disapproving look he was giving me. “So, do you have any idea when she'll be home?”

“Well, she has to go get a couple of books that she loaned to Cheerilee, give Applejack a book on common apple tree diseases, and stop by the pharmacy to pick up her… um, her stuff, so she should be back—“

“Spike, I’m home!”

“—Right about now, apparently.”

Grinning, I turned to welcome Twilight into her own house, but she got the first word in.

“Rainbow! It’s good to see you! How are you?” she asked.

“I’m doing just fine, thanks Twi. How are you?” I replied.

"Doing pretty well. What brings you here?"

“So, Twilight, I wanted to ask you…” Don’t chicken out, don’t chicken out. “What do you think of the weather today?” Darn it!

“What do I think of the weather?” Twilight had a bewildered look on her face, and I could see Spike trying to hold in his laughter. “Umm… I saw the rest of the weather team working on clearing the sky earlier, is that what you meant? By the way, why were you not with them? I could hear them complaining about you.”

I waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, it’s good for them. Builds character. Besides, you were always telling me that I need to… what was the word… delegate some of my responsibility to them. You know, so I’m not doing everything myself. Uh… Twi, you okay?”

Twilight had gone wide eyed and was staring at me as if in shock. It was kind of creepy actually.

“Delegate…” she whispered.

Shoot, did I say something to upset her again? Way to stick your hoof in your mouth again, Rainbow, at this rate—

“That’s it!” she shouted. “Delegating responsibility! Why didn’t I think of that before? It would solve all the problems with overheating. One to infuse or extract the magic, and one to store it!”

Okay, maybe I said the right thing. Seriously, if her smile got any larger it might break her face in half. And the way she was prancing in place like that was seriously cute. “I take it you just had a brainwave?” I asked.

“Oh yes! Thank you so much Rainbow! This has been bugging me for so long! I just couldn’t get past this block, and you said just the right thing! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Oh, Rainbow, I could just kiss you!”

And now my wings were standing straight up. Perfect. Oh well, as long as she was offering, I wouldn’t say no. “If you really mean that Twilight, I might just take you—“

Before I could finish my statement, Twilight had rushed off and slammed the door to the basement behind her.

“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed.

“Don’t worry Rainbow, I’m sure you’ll get your chance some other time,” Spike said, giving me a pat on the shoulder that would have been more reassuring if he hadn’t been fighting back giggles. “She just gets like that sometimes when she has a project that she is working on.”

“It’s cool, it’s cool,” I said, fighting to keep the disappointment out of my voice and get my wings under control. “So, how long do you think she'll be down there?”

“It depends. Could be twenty minutes to all day. She even forgets to eat sometimes, so I bring down food to her on occasion,” Spike said, shrugging. “So, do you want to wait to talk to her, or come back later?”

“Depends,” I said, grinning. “Do you like to play BattleClouds?”


Four games of BattleClouds, half of my Daring Do book, and five hours later, it didn’t look like Twilight was going to be coming up anytime soon. The most the little dragon and I had heard from Twilight was a few shouts of “I’m okay!” following some of the louder bangs. At first I had been worried, but Spike had assured me that stuff like that happened when Twilight was working and not to worry about it.

Still, loud noises aside, I was almost ready to pull my pin feathers out with boredom. Sitting around a library with a dragon upset about losing four games of BattleClouds in a row was not my idea of a good time.

I was just about to head outside and take off for home when I heard a voice call up from below.

“Spike! Could you bring me down some water, please?”

I looked to Spike with a question in my eyes. Luckily, he seemed to understand what it was that I was asking.

“Go ahead,” he said, gesturing to the kitchen.

I nodded, flew into the kitchen and grabbed a drinking glass. As quickly as I could, I filled it with water, and trotted over to the entrance to the basement. I took a steadying breath and galloped down the stairs.

“Here’s you glass of water T—OH MY CELESTIA!”

“Ah, thank you, Rainbow. Just what I needed.”

“Twilight, you’re, you’re…”

“Yes, Rainbow?” she asked, as if nothing in the world was wrong.

“YOU’RE ON FIRE!”

“Yes, that’s why I needed the water. Just let me take a sip… ah, much better.”

It was so weird. As soon as she took a sip of water, all of the fire went out. Like, it just vanished. It didn’t fade away, it didn’t poof, it just vanished as if it was never there to begin with.

“What, what…I…What?” I said, dumbfounded.

Spike poked his head into the basement. “I take it you had another problem with wizard’s fire, Twilight?” he asked, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

“Yep!” Twilight said cheerfully, not looking in the slightest burned or harmed. In fact, if I hadn’t just seen it with my own two eyes, I would have not have believed that the mare that I had a crush on had just been on fire.

“What…” was all I managed to croak out. I tried again. “What just happened?”

“Oh, it was just a bit of an accident with wizard’s fire, that’s all,” she said, like that meant anything at all to me. Luckily, she saw the confusion still written across my face and continued. “It’s just a fire that doesn’t burn anything. It’s useless as a source of light or warmth, but it sees a lot of use in testing since it is made almost completely of magical energy.”

“I see,” I said, still feeling a bit lost. “And the water?”

“Oh just a little drink or splash of water make it dissipate completely. It looks a bit startling, but it’s completely harmless,” she said.

“It’s more than just a little startling, Twilight,” Spike said, shaking his head. “The first time I saw it, I nearly had a heart attack.”

“You and me both,” I agreed.

“Anyways, why are you here, Rainbow?” Twilight said, turning to me. “Wait, I remember you being here earlier. Have you been here all day?”

“Um…” I hesitated, but then I knew that it was now or never. I turned to ask Spike to leave, but he was already on the way out. Okay then, no more distractions.

“Right, Twilight, the reason I’ve been waiting here all day is because… I wanted to ask you out on a date.”

Twilight’s eyes got very wide as soon as the sentence had left my mouth. She stood there gasping like a fish for a minute or two before she got her act together.

“I, I can’t because I’m, I’m gay!” she said quickly.

All right, if I was confused by the fire before, now I was baffled. “What do you mean, you can’t because you’re gay? We are both mares, unless you’ve been hiding something from me.”

It was another moment or two before she could respond again. “I mean, I’m not!” She shouted when she regained her breath.

I tilted my head in puzzlement. “But Spike heard you say that—“

“I mean, I’m not, and I am! That makes sense, right?”

And consider me totally lost. “Twilight, what are you talking about?”

Twilight was now looking as if she were in a state of total panic. She just gestured to me to be quiet, and began to do some deep breathing exercises, to calm herself down I guess.

After yet another minute, Twilight had regained enough composure to speak. “Listen, Rainbow, I need to think on this. Could you come back in a week to talk about it?” she asked meekly.

Every instinct in my body cried out to get an answer now, but by some miracle I held my tongue. “Sure Twilight, sounds good,” I said, but even I could hear the disappointment in my voice. I turned and began walking towards the stairs to the main room of the library.

“I’m sorry Rainbow, I just need time to think about this.” I heard drift sadly up to me from behind.

“Sure thing,” I said, before closing the door behind me.

Doctor Hooves 3

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Oddly, Twilight Sparkle was late.

Not by a lot, only a minute or two, but it was still the first time she had been late to one of our sessions in… well, since we had begun, actually.

And in contrast to that last two weeks, she had entered looking somewhat downcast.

Needless to say I was quite worried.

“How are you today, Twilight?” I asked.

“Good. How about you, doctor?” she replied.

“I’m doing well, but I am more worried about you. You seem down today. Did something happen?”

“I just have a lot on my hooves.” She practically sighed the sentence, rather than speaking it.

“I see. Do you want to talk about it?”

She sighed again. “Well, I seem to have hit a block in my research,” she said.

I frowned. This wasn’t like Twilight. If she encountered a rough patch in her research, she was one to bounce ideas off the nearest pony, not mope like this. I should know, I’m often the one she bounces the ideas off of.

“But you seemed like you were making a fair bit of progress last week. What changed?” I said.

“Well,” she said, looking even more downcast than before, “to put it in simple terms, theory and practice are quite different things. The quartz crystals just don’t want to reach the level of magic retention that I need. And ever since Rainbow—ever since that, I have had trouble concentrating on what I should do about that,” she said.

“Wait, what was that?” I asked. “You said something about a rainbow. Are you using liquid rainbow in your experiments?”

Even somepony like me, with almost no knowledge of the magical sciences, knew that liquid rainbow was very dangerous for anypony who wasn’t a pegasus to work with.

“No, doctor. I don’t really have any use for liquid rainbow in my research… at least at the moment. And trust me, I know how dangerous it can be,” she said.

Oh. Well, now I felt somewhat foolish for making such a big deal out of it. I should have known better. Twilight was always very methodical and careful with her studies. Even if she was using liquid rainbow, she would never use it recklessly.

“Well, then,” I said, eager for a change of subject, “what were you talking about?”

“Um…well… you know my friend, Rainbow Dash?”

It was a rhetorical question, and we both knew it. Besides all the times that Twilight had mentioned her before, everypony in Ponyville had had the pegasus crash into their house at least once. And on top of that, she was a national hero, and the element of loyalty. Asking if I knew her was pointless. Twilight was probably stalling for time.

After a few minutes, it became apparent that I had hit the nail on the head. Twilight was indeed stalling for time.

“Take your time, Twilight. And remember, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” I said.

“Right,” she said, looking pensive. “Um… well, I think I know why I have been having such trouble with my research.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised by the sudden change of subject. “Why do you think that is?”

“Well, the day after we met last week, Rainbow came over to the library and apparently just… waited around the library all day. That was unusual in and of itself, considering Rainbow is almost phobic of any book that isn’t an adventure novel. But I didn’t think much of it because I was wrapped up in my research. You know how I get when I have a brainwave.”

I nodded. I had had the misfortune to visit the library on one of the days that Twilight had been wrapped up in some sort of project. I had needed to almost yell to break her attention away from the book that she had been reading, all so I could check out a reference book.

“Well, eventually,” she continued, “I had a little mishap with wizard’s fire, and before you ask, wizard’s fire is completely harmless, so no need to worry.”

My question about if everypony had been all right died on my lips.

“I still needed some water to put it out, so I called for Spike to bring me some, but Rainbow came down instead. And after she helped me put out the fire, she… she…” Twilight looked as if she were choking on her own words.

“Take it easy, Twilight… deep breaths… in… out… in… out. There you go. Feel better?” I asked.

“Yes, doctor,” Twilight said meekly. “Anyways, Rainbow, she… she…”

“Yes?”

“SHEASKEDMEOUTONADATE!” Twilight said, suddenly shouting.

“… Pardon?” I had no clue what she had just said. “Could you repeat that, slower and at a lower volume?”

“She, uh, asked me out on a date.” This time Twilight was much calmer and I could actually understand what she was trying to tell me.

“I see…” Well, this was interesting. “And what did you do?”

“I, um, panicked.”

“And after that?”

“I told her that I needed more time to think about it. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“That was probably the best thing to do,” I said. “It always helps to get your thoughts in order before making a big decision.”

“That’s precisely what I was thinking,” Twilight said, smiling thinly.

“So, first things first… Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?” I asked.

“The… um, the truth?” Twilight said, looking lost.

“You know… about your asexuality.”

Twilight’s eyes shot wide open. “Right! Right, that. Um the reason I didn’t tell her is because… I um, well…” she stuttered out as she seemed to almost literally flounder for an answer.

I think at this point, the kind thing to do would be to let Twilight know that I had never believed her.

“Twilight, have you been lying to me about being asexual?” I asked as gently as possible.

Twilight went dead silent and just stared at me. She whispered something under her breath that I didn’t quite catch.

“Sorry, Twilight, could you speak up? I didn’t quite hear what you said.”

“How did you know?” she asked me, eyes still wide.

“I am sorry to say, but you are not a very good liar. It was kind of obvious from the beginning,” I admitted.

“Oh… um, I’m sorry for lying to you.”

I laughed, trying to put her at ease. “It is no big deal. I will admit that I feel a bit hurt that you didn’t trust me, but I also realize that this is a completely new area for you, so some awkwardness is to be expected. So, then, let’s start with the basics. Are you more attracted to mares or stallions?”

“Well, I have always found mares to be more visually pleasing…” she said, blushing like mad.

“I must confess, I have never heard of it being put quite like that, but… well, I hate to state the obvious, but Rainbow Dash is a mare. Is there a reason that you don’t want to date her, in particular?”

Twilight, her blush receding a tiny bit, nodded. “Doctor, you do know how big of a Wonderbolts fan she is, right? And that she wants to be one someday?”

“I would be very surprised if there was anypony in town that didn’t know that.”

“Well, think about it. You know how much the Wonderbolts tour, right?”

I nodded. Thanks to Rainbow Dash and her endless will to share even the most minute details of the Wonderbolt’s life, everypony in town could be considered a Wonderbolts expert. “If I recall correctly, it is nine months out of every year, am I right?”

“Yes, doctor. And if Rainbow and I start dating, and eventually going steady, then she might end up having to take care of me. And I don’t see how she could do that if she were touring that much.”

I bit back a sigh. It always came back to this. Twilight liked to use her condition as an excuse to wave away anything that made her nervous. The only real times that she managed to break away from this pattern is when the Princess tells her to. I think she would have died alone if the princess had not ordered her to make some friends.

“So… you think that she would abandon you?” I asked, not wanting to change the subject just yet.

“No, doctor, I’m afraid of what will happen if she doesn’t.”

“I see, you are worried that she might resent you.”

Twilight shook her head. “Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter! I would never be able to forgive myself for interfering with her dream!”

“Well, you don’t know for sure that that would—“

“Are you kidding me?” Twilight asked, cutting me off. “Are you really telling me that I would be able to live on my own?”

“Twilight, I didn’t say—“

“And Spike cannot keep looking after me all my life, right? Isn’t that what we agreed about last time?”

“Yes, Twilight but—“

“And Rainbow!” Twilight shouted. “If I do this, she will hate me eventually, but if I don’t, she will hate me right now! What am I supposed to do about that!?”

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight instantly stopped talking and looked at me, quite surprised. I had never yelled during one of our sessions before.

“Twilight,” I repeated, a little out of breath from shouting. “You need to calm down. Take deep breaths. In… out…”

For a minute or two, the room was filled with the sound of breathing.

“Sorry, doctor. I guess I got a little worked up,” Twilight said eventually, looking at anything but me.

“No need to apologize. I realize that this is unfamiliar ground for you, and the subject itself can be quite nerve racking. Now, let me say a few things before you reply,” I said, noticing Twilight open her mouth to speak.

“First, I want you to keep in mind that everything that you are afraid of will not happen for years. Like you said last week, Spike won’t need to leave for at least ten years, and trust me, ten years is a long time. And even if you dated Rainbow, you would have years to work out some sort of arrangement. If I recall correctly, Wonderbolts need, at the bare minimum, three years of training, but often times more. And Rainbow hasn't even begun training.

“Second,” I continued, wanting to get all this in the open before Twilight could argue against it, “barring one or two minor incidents, you have improved tremendously since you moved to Ponyville. The, ah, magic of friendship has really worked wonders for you. If we discount the smartypants incident, you haven’t had a major relapse in more than three years.”

“Three and a half years, if we don’t count the smartypants incident,” Twilight muttered before I could continue. “But why should we discount it?”

“Well, look at what happened the week before. The confrontation with Discord. Now, I may have been stuck in some sort of blue phone booth for most of it, but from what I have been told, you handled yourself admirably. In fact, I heard that you were the only one not to fall for his tricks.”

“That isn’t precisely true,” Twilight said under her breath. “It is more that he didn’t target me directly.”

“Still, Twilight, you managed to pull everything together and save everypony, isn’t that right?”

“Well, Princess Celestia helped.”

“But you did all the work.”

“I guess.” Twilight still looked uncomfortable accepting the praise, but she looked slightly pleased nevertheless.

“The point that I am trying to make is that that was a tremendously stressful incident. All that stress had to go somewhere, and you managed to release it at a time when everything wasn’t on the line.”

Twilight opened her mouth, but apparently couldn’t find the words, and closed it again.

“Also, Twilight, you are better than you think you are. You need to stop thinking of yourself as mentally ill first, and start thinking of yourself as a normal—no, brilliant mare who happens to have a bit of trouble now and then.”

After my last statement, the room was quiet. Twilight had he brow furrowed as if in deep thought, and I was content to let her think about what had just been said.

Eventually, however, I noticed that the time on our session had almost expired, so I had to speak up.

“Twilight,” I said, and the mare in question jumped just a tiny bit. “Listen, our time is pretty much up, but I have two things to ask first. Number one, I am quite curious about what you plan to do about Rainbow Dash. It seems to me that a mare like that won’t like waiting long.”

Twilight got a faraway look in her eyes. “You know what, doctor? I am going to tell her everything, and if she still wants to date me, then I have no problems with it.”

“Good for you, Twilight,” I said, relieved. In all honesty, that was the outcome that I was hoping for. Even if Rainbow decided not to date Twilight after learning everything, an outcome I found highly unlikely, I knew that she would stick by Twilight’s side. After all, she was the element of loyalty. And even in that case, Twilight would have expanded her safety net.

I knew that it was very unlikely that Twilight would need her safety net in the near future, but it never hurt to have one.

“Ah, yes,” I said, remembering the second thing I had to ask her. “Twilight, have you had any symptoms this week?”

She smiled. “No, Doctor. I’ll see you next week?”

“Same time as always.”

Without a further word, she trotted out of my office, and I went back to my paperwork.

Rainbow Dash 3

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It had been a week since I had last talked to Twilight, and to tell the truth, I was getting really sick of waiting. I’m not the most patient of ponies at the best of times, and with something like this I think it was a minor miracle that I hadn’t flown into her library and demanded an answer. The only thing that was stopping me was how Twilight had freaked when I asked her out.

Still, I was going to hold her to the limit of a week. If she didn’t talk to me today, I would fly down to the library and demand… er, ask, what was going on. Just because we didn’t Pinkie Promise doesn’t mean that she can blow me off.

“Hey, Rainbow!” a familiar voice yelled up to me.

I flipped over on the cloud that I had been napp—thinking on, and turned to face the source of the voice.

“Hey, Spike! What you need?” I yelled back down to the little dragon. Darn, Twilight wasn’t with him. I had gotten my hopes up when I heard him shout. Well, maybe he was here to tell me that—

“Twilight wants to talk to you, Rainbow!” Score!

“One second!” I yelled back as I got to my hooves. After a quick stretch, I leaped down and began to hover beside Spike.

“So, Twilight has made a decision?” I asked as we began to walk towards the library.

“Yes, but now it is up to you,” Spike said.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Twilight wants to talk to you for a bit, then she wants you to decide if you still want to date her.”

“Wait, what? Of course I want to date her, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked her out!”

Spike spun around and stared at me with a serious look in his eyes. “You shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch, Rainbow.”

“What the hey is that supposed to mean?”

Spike just ignored me and went on speaking. “Just promise me one thing. Even if you don’t want to date her after this, just don’t laugh at her, or stop being her friend.”

I blinked. This suddenly got really serious. It was looking more and more like I wouldn’t get that straightforward answer that I was hoping for. “Sure, I promise.”

Spike didn’t look any less serious. “Pinkie Promise?”

Wow. He must really be serious if he wanted a Pinkie Promise. “As long as she isn’t, like, hurting anypony, sure.”

“I can tell you with without a doubt that she isn’t hurting anypony. So, do you promise?”

I nodded. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I said as I went through the motions.

Spike finally looked satisfied. “Good. Now then, she is waiting in the basement. Go and talk to her.”

I was off like a shot before he could even finish his sentence.


“Twilight, you down here?” I asked, poking my head into the well-lit basement.

To my surprise, she wasn’t conducting some sort of experiment. She was just sitting on a cushion in the middle of the room, with another one in front of her. That one was for me I guess. I trotted over and took my seat.

“So, Twilight, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, hoping to get some sort of answer right off the bat.

Twilight just looked nervous. She was biting her lip, and looking everywhere except for at me. After what felt like an eternity, she looked directly at me. “Rainbow Dash, why do you want to date me?” she asked.

Oh wow, I should have actually thought about something like that, huh? “Well, you see… um…” I stuttered out, trying to get my thoughts in order enough to give some sort of answer. Twilight just sat there, looking expectantly at me.

All right, Rainbow, just do what you always do: dive in head first and hope for the best. “Well, Twilight, I’m gonna be honest here. You are incredibly beautiful. Not just physically, but mentally as well.” Did she just flinch? Oh well, just don’t think about it and keep on going. “I mean, every time you have always given everypony the benefit of the doubt. You were so accepting of Zecora even after you saw how all of us reacted to her. And you forgave us so easily after the incident with Discord. And you are so smart as well. Half the time I cannot make heads or tails of what you are saying, but you always want to learn more and expand your horizons, something I have a hard time with. So, yeah, I like a lot of things about you.”

Twilight was silent for another eternity before she finally spoke. “Thank you, Rainbow. But there is one thing that you should know about before you date me.”

She took a deep breath before continuing. As she released it, she looked me straight in the eyes. “Rainbow, I have A.C.M.S.”

“What?” I asked. Seriously, I had never heard of that before, and even if I had, I had no idea what it stood for.

“A.C.M.S.” she repeated. “It stands for Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome.”

“I still have no idea what that means.”

She turned her flank to me, giving me a good view of her cutie mark. I took a look, trying not to stare too hard at the plot itself. It was the same starburst of magic as always. “So, what about your cutie mark?” I asked.

“Describe it to me,” she said, looking very serious.

“Erm…” I was totally lost at this point, something that was happening to me far too much for my taste lately. “I don’t know… a star or magical sparkle of some sort? An explosion, maybe?”

“Now describe Rarity’s.”

“Three gems.”

“Applejack’s?”

“Three apples. Listen, Twilight, where are you going with this?”

“That was my point. Everypony else has a cutie mark that is an actual thing, like gems or apples. I have this odd one that is not describable. It’s abstract.”

“It just means you’re good at magic. I bet everypony with magic as their talent has a weird one like you do.”

“Even Trixie?”

“That’s different! You’re just more powerful that her, so your cutie mark is more… um… magicalish?”

That was supposed to make her laugh, not cringe again.

“Actually, A.C.M.S. tends to affect ponies with more magic than others. Earth ponies that are better than average with plants, pegasi that are stronger flyers than normal, and unicorns that… that…” she said before trailing off and staring at the wall.

“Ok, so your cutie mark is a little weird, and you have something called A.C.S.M., or some such,” I said, trying to get to the heart of the matter. I was getting a bit sick of how Twilight was dancing around actually telling me what it was. “So what?”

“A.C.M.S.,” Twilight said, still staring at the wall. “Rainbow, A.C.M.S. is a mental illness. I have a mental illness.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I was probably the wrong thing to do, judging from Twilight’s face, but I couldn’t help it.

“You, are you trying to tell me that you are crazy or something? No way Twilight! I mean, your one of the smartest mares I know!” I managed to choke out between gales of laughter.

“This has nothing to do with my IQ, Rainbow!” Twilight said, her voice dark with anger and hurt. I immediately stopped laughing and let her continue. “A.C.M.S. primarily affects a pony’s perception of reality and their emotional responses and social abilities!”

“And I am saying that you cannot have that! You are one of the most grounded and mature ponies that I know, and you always like to hang out with us. What part of that sounds like you have an ‘affected perception of reality’ or ‘affected emotional responses and social abilities’?” I asked.

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it with a clack of her teeth. “Rainbow,” she said, “I am going to talk for a minute or two, and I want you not to interrupt. Please?”

I nodded. I may have promised not to interrupt, but once she was done speaking, I was going to try and get all this nonsense out of her head.

“First,” she began, “the symptoms of Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome, hereafter referred to as A.C.M.S., can be divided into two groups, positive and negative symptoms.

“Positive symptoms are behaviors and thoughts that most ponies do not have but ponies with the… illness have. In the case of A.C.M.S., the most typically found positive symptoms include disordered thoughts, hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. These can take many forms, such as believing that the sun is moving like the hand of a clock, or believing that one will be sent back to magical kindergarten for failing to send a letter at the right time.”

Oh. She was referring to the smartypants incident. I have to admit, Twilight wasn’t at her most rational during that point. But that didn’t mean that she was crazy, right?

“Negative symptoms, on the other hoof, are behaviors and thoughts that the affected pony lack but are present in the majority of ponies,” Twilight said. “These can include flat or blunted affect, alogia, anhedonia, and asociality. Now, not all—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted. I knew that she was probably going into lecture mode to make it easier to talk about, and I didn’t want to disrupt that, but… “I have no idea what any of those words mean, Twilight. Could you give them to me in english?”

The glare that Twilight had slowly melted away, and she nodded. “Sorry, I forgot that not everypony is familiar with terminology like that.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Affect is basically emotional reactivity. Blunted affect is when a pony feels a greatly lessened version of emotion. They may not cry at things that are sad, or be happy when something good happens. Understand?”

I nodded.

“Now then, alogia is a form of aphasia or impairment in linguistic ability, specifically, a poverty of speech. Did you follow that?”

“Umm… no,” I admitted.

Twilight sighed. “Basically, it means that I—a pony with alogia is very stringy with words. They will give one word answers to complex, multi-part questions, for example. Now do you understand?

I nodded again.

“All right, now, anhedonia is a lack of pleasure from activates one would find pleasurable. Of example, it would be like if, for you, you suddenly stopped enjoying stunt flying. For me, it is—would be like I suddenly stopped enjoying learning new things. Understand?”

I nodded a third time, swallowing a lump in my throat. That would be hell for me. I loved to fly so much and if I suddenly stopped enjoying it… I don’t know what I would do.

“Finally, I think asociality speaks for itself. It is the lack of desire to form relationships, simply put. There are some factors to this, including being rather unable to judge the emotions and reactions of others, but I think that would be getting too technical. Are you still following me?”

“Yeah,” I managed to say. “But Twilight, you aren’t antisocial at all! You like hanging out with the rest of us!”

“Yes, I like being with the five of you. But Rainbow, have you ever seen me express an interest in making new friends? The only reason I became friends with the five of you is because you were too stubborn to let me tell you to stop following me!”

“Yes but…” But what? I had no comeback for that. Heck, I still remember Twilight saying that before she met the five of us, she had no friends outside of her family. “All right, I’ll give you that one. But still, you don’t fit any of the other, um… whatyoucallem, negative symptoms! You love to study, you are very emotional, and you absolutely love to talk about your projects!”

Twilight just looked sad. “There are two reasons for that. First is that not all ponies experience the exact same combinations of symptoms. Some may be more or less severe depending on the pony. I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t have as many negative symptoms as I could, and negative symptoms don’t react much to medicine. And that brings me to my next point. Have you ever seen my medicine cabinet?”

I shook my head.

“I have a couple of bottles of medicine in there. My meds help me control the symptoms that I do have. They do have a few side effects, however.”

“What kind of side effects?” I asked.

“Oh, they aren’t that bad,” she said, waving a hoof in the air. “Mostly, I need watch what I eat, because they make it really easy to gain weight.”

“I see…” I said, thinking. “Hey, Twilight? Have you ever thought about just quitting your meds? Like they do in all those movies?”

Twilight looked horrified at the thought. “No, Rainbow! First, I know for a fact that I need them, and second, just going cold turkey like that could have incredibly bad side effects. The withdrawal alone would be terrible!”

“Oh…” What else could I say to that? “Umm… does Spike know about this?”

Twilight shifted guiltily on her cushion. “Rainbow, do you remember how I acted when you said that it was like Spike takes care of me?” After I nodded, she continued. “Well, I acted that way because it is at least partially true. It’s actually somewhat of a symbiotic relationship. He keeps an eye on me to make sure that I don’t have any relapses, and I am in charge of his education. There is a reason I get him books every year for his birthday. Anyways, if I start to show… symptoms… he contacts Princess Celestia for help, and she decides what to do from there.”

“Like with the smartypants incident,” I said.

“Like with the smartypants incident,” she agreed. She let out a bitter laugh. “Once she had calmed me down, I was so afraid that she was going to send me the hospital again. She does that if she thinks I might hurt myself.”

“They don’t treat you badly there, do they!?” I asked somewhat more forcefully than I intended. I know that I had only just learned about this… thing that Twilight had to deal with, but the thought of somepony being mean to Twilight when she couldn’t help herself made my blood boil.

Twilight blinked, then looked a little shocked. “Rainbow! We are not in the middle ages anymore! The hospital had been nothing but helpful when I have a relapse! Granted, that could be because they know that I have the ear of the princess, but still…”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” I threw my hooves up in defeat. “So then, why were you so afraid of going back to the hospital?”

“Because then all of you would have found out that something was wrong with me. I just… I wanted to either tell you on my own terms, or keep it a secret. I know that trying to keep a big secret is one of the best ways to lose a friend, but I didn’t want any of you to look at me differently.” She started to cry.

Without thinking, I leaned over and gave her a hug. “Listen, Twilight. The only ponies that would look at you differently are not worth knowing. The five of us, we care about you, and a little thing like this won’t change that.”

“Rainbow, thank you,” Twilight said between sobs.

I have no idea how long the two of us just sat there, Twilight crying and me holding her in comfort. I think I heard the door open once, probably Spike coming to check on the two of us, but apparently he knew better than to interrupt us.

It took a few minutes, but Twilight finally calmed down and stopped crying. After a moment, I felt that it was okay to speak again. “So, if you really have been dreading telling us, why are you telling me now?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Twilight asked between sniffles. “It’s because you said you wanted to date me. I figured that you should know this before you commit to a relationship with me. So… do you still want to date me?”

“Oh, Twilight,” I said with a sad smile, “this doesn’t change a thing. Everything I said before still stands. I’m really glad that you trusted me enough to tell me this, and that just makes me admire you more. Of course I still want to date you.”

“But, but… did you even think about that for one instant!?” Twilight said, looking mad. “I want you to put some actual thought into this! What if you have to give up on your dream to take care of me? What then?”

“True, I don’t want to give up on being a Wonderbolt, but still,” I said, “even if this interferes with my being a Wonderbolt, it would be worth it.”

“But if you do this because we are romantically engaged, then—“

“That doesn’t matter!” I said, anger coloring my voice. “Even if you were just a friend, I would still drop everything to help you! If I thought that being a Wonderbolt would interfere with my friendship with any of you, I wouldn’t go for it! Do you really think that I am the type of pony to just abandon my friends?”

I took a deep breath, trying to get myself under control. Yelling at the pony that I wanted to date probably wasn’t the best idea, but at least Twilight didn’t look like she wanted me to leave. In fact, she looked somewhat… happy.

“Thank you, Rainbow. It makes me glad to hear that.” Twilight said, sounding happy even as her eyes welled up with tears again. “So you really want to do this?”

“Of course!” I said. “The question is, do you still want to do this?”

Twilight smiled. “Does seven P.M. at the Bale tomorrow night sound good to you?”

I laughed. “Sure does. See you then, Twilight.”

“See you then, Rainbow.”

I reluctantly let go of Twilight, and began to walk up the stairs leading to the main room of the library. After a quick nod to Spike letting him know everything was all right, I stretched my wings and took off into the sky.

I had a date with Twilight Sparkle tomorrow night! Awesome! I had waited for this day for so long, and it was finally here!

I couldn’t be happier.

Doctor Hooves 4

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Twilight bounded into the room, her smile so wide that it was positively blinding.

“Good morning, Doctor! How are you today?” she practically chirped.

“Good morning to you as well, Twilight. Even if it is one o’clock in the afternoon.” I said with a chuckle. “And I am just fine, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“Really good,” Twilight said, her smile growing even wider. “Really, really good.”

I grinned. “I see. This wouldn’t have anything to do with the date that you went on with Rainbow, would it?”

“It has everything to do with that, Doctor!” she sang. Suddenly, a frown appeared on her face. “Wait, how did you know that?”

“Well, the whole town is kind of talking about it,” I explained. “I mean, a candlelight dinner between the best young flyer and the Princess’s student? The whole town is talking about it. You know how small towns love their gossip.”

“Oh, really?” Twilight said. Her earlier good mood had vanished, and she looked around the room nervously.

I chuckled. “Relax, Twilight. I know what you are thinking, and, for the record, I didn’t hear a single negative thing about you and Rainbow.”

“Really?” Twilight said again, this time with a small smile on her face.

“Yes,” I said, “nothing bad was said about you. In fact, the overall sentiment in town is that it took Rainbow far too long to actually ask you out.”

“Oh. Was she really that obvious? I didn’t catch on at all.” Twilight said in a somewhat cheery voice.

“You don’t sound too upset about that,” I observed.

“Well, I guess I’m just in a good mood,” she said with a laugh.

“Now then, last time we talked, you said that you were going to tell Rainbow about your A.C.M.S. I take it that went well?” I asked.

“It went well overall.”

“Overall? Were there some parts that didn’t go as well?” I asked, slightly worried.

“Well,” Twilight said with a slightly faraway look in her eyes, “at first, she didn’t believe me. That was kind of frustrating. But after I explained everything, she was very accepting.”

“That’s good. To tell you the truth, I knew almost for sure that it would turn out this way. Rainbow is an exceptional mare, judging from my, admittedly few, interactions with her. She most definitely doesn’t seem like the type of pony that would judge you over a little thing like this.”

“Funny, Rainbow used the exact same words to describe A.C.M.S. It was a ‘little thing,’” she said, and then immediately looked surprised at the bitterness in her voice.

“Well, um,” I said, a little startled myself, “You sound somewhat, um, angry about that. Do you know why?”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! It just slipped out! I’m not angry at Rainbow or anything!” she said, looking a little panicked.

“I’m not saying that you are, but there was something there. Do you think we could just think on it a little bit?”

“Well…” Twilight bit her lip, deep in thought. “I think I know what it is.”

“Yes?”

“Well, ever since I had my first episode… I mean, this had been such a major part of my life. It has always felt like a sword hanging over my head. I know you don’t like me thinking about it that way, but that is just the way I feel. And for her to just marginalize such a large part of my life like that…”

“And that makes you angry, doesn’t it.” I said softly.

Twilight looked away from me with a grimace. “Yes.”

“I can see how this could be a dilemma for you. On the one hoof, Rainbow did dismiss a large portion of your life as not very important. No matter how much I would like to say otherwise, it has had a profound effect on your life, and Rainbow will have to learn to live with it. On the other hoof, however, Rainbow refused to let your A.C.M.S. affect how she views you. That was probably the best possible outcome, but the dissonance between how the two of you view your condition is a little confusing, isn’t it.”

“Yes. Yes, it is. What do you think I should do about it?” Twilight asked, looking straight at me.

I sighed. “Now Twilight, I don’t think that you will like this answer, but… I think you need to treat it as Rainbow does.”

Twilight looked downright shocked, but she motioned for me to continue.

“Twilight, you said that this feels like a sword hanging over your head. An ever present constant to worry about, right? Thinking about it that way just increases your stress, and that isn’t healthy for anypony. Let Rainbow and your friends take your mind off it.” I said.

“But when I have a relapse—“

“Just remember that by telling Rainbow Dash you have expanded your safety net by quite a bit.”

“That… is true…” Twilight said, biting her lip again. “I still need to go over what to do when I have a relapse…”

“’If,’ Twilight.”

“Huh?”

“You said ‘when’ you have a relapse. That should be if. As so long as you continue to take your medication, a relapse is unlikely. Speaking of your medication, do you need a refill?”

Twilight shook her head. “Nope. I still have a refill left before I need another prescription.”

“Oh, really? And you have been taking it every night, correct?” I asked, somewhat surprised.

She fixed me with a level glare. “Of course I have been, doctor. It is part of my routine, after all, and you know how I am about routine.”

I shifted in my seat a little uncomfortably. “Right. Sorry.”

She laughed. “No problem, doctor. You just have a tendency to ask if I need more a little too soon. It doesn’t bug me at all.”

“Right… silly me.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“I suppose…”

To my surprise, Twilight began to giggle.

“What are you thinking about, Twilight?” I asked, hoping that she would tell me what she found so amusing.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, her voice a little strained from holding back her laughter. “It’s just that, well… it was almost like we switched roles there for a second.”

“I see… huh, I guess that is kind of funny,” I said. “Perhaps you should ask me about my latest research project! … Twilight?”

Twilight was staring straight at me with wide eyes, looking very shocked.

“Twilight? Um, are you all right?” I asked, getting worried.

“Oh no… My research project! AHH!” Twilight let out a frustrated groan.

“Calm down, Twilight. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” I was getting a little concerned.

“I just told you! My research project! Argh, how could I have let this happen?”

“Okay… this has something to do with your research project, then?” I was getting more and more lost. “Did something go wrong with it?”

“No! Nothing happened! That’s the problem! With all of this excitement with Rainbow I completely forgot to work on it at all! Argh, now I’m behind schedule!”

Oh. “Well, I don’t think that it is productive to panic about it, so calm down, Twilight.”

“I can’t calm down, this is too important! Sorry, Doctor, but I need to cut my visit short today. I really have to get started on this backlog I’ve got now!” She turned and looked ready to run out the door.

“Wait! Twilight, I need to—“

“No symptoms this week either! See you next week, Doctor!” She shouted over her shoulder as she galloped out of the room.

I just sat there, too stunned by the abrupt ending of our session to do anything.

Eventually, I reorganized my thoughts, and let out a sigh. Ending the session early probably was the best thing to do, even if I would have liked more control. Twilight would have been too preoccupied with her research project to have been comfortable with continuing our talk. And plus, I got more time to work on my ever present paperwork.

Not that I wouldn’t like a break from all of the forms…

Lyra 1

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“Lyra! Come on, Lyra, wake up! It’s almost noon!”

I groaned, rolled over, and pulled the covers over my head. “Bon Bon, can’t you wake me up when it is noon? I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“I know you didn’t. You didn’t even make it into bed last night,” Bon Bon said, sounding very annoyed.

Blinking, I raised my head and looked around. She was right. I must have dozed off while working on my project, considering that I was still in the lab. What I had mistook for covers was, in actuality, some of my notes and figures.

“Bon Bon, I… I’m sorry.” I said, trying to apologize and keep myself awake at the same time.

Bon Bon raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what?” she asked.

“Ummmmm… I’m drawing a blank. You know I hate waking up.” I said, letting my head fall back to my pillow. The pillow that, unfortunately, didn’t exist.

As I grasped my head in pain from the sudden collision with the hardwood floor, Bon Bon sighed. “Listen, Lyra, you don’t need to apologize. I am a little annoyed that you would rather sleep on the floor that with me, but—“

“No! I don’t mean it like that! I just lost track of time! I didn’t mean to—“

“I know. I just phrased that wrong,” Bon Bon said, sighing. Darn it, I was making her do that a lot lately. “What I was trying to say is that I know how important this human stuff is to you. Just, don’t let it get the better of you.”

I clumsily pulled myself to my hooves, ears flat against my head. “I’m sorry, Bonnie, but I just… I found an experiment that the royal academy did a few months back that showed me how to make cloth repel magic and I was looking my figures over and I found that that would totally work and I just got so excited!” I said, having let my excitement get the better of me, as I was now bouncing on my hooves with what Bon Bon called my manic smile plastered all over my face.

Bon Bon, for her part, looked confused, I mean, more so than normal after one of my rants. “Lyra, what does any of that have to do with humans? I thought you were down here in the basement to look up more stuff about humans.”

“It doesn’t have anything at all to do with humans!” I said.

Bon Bon just glared at me.

“Okay, maybe it was inspired by them, but it doesn’t have anything to do with them other than that. Seriously, Bonnie, you should be happy about this!” I said, trying to make her stop glaring at me like that.

No such luck. “And why should I be happy about… whatever this is?”

“Well, you are always telling me that I should use my brain for more than just music and humans, right? Well, now I am!” I said, making a conscious effort not to bounce.

“If you say so,” Bon Bon said, but I could tell that she was trying not to smile. I have that effect on her.

“Anyways… Is it really almost noon?” I asked, curious about how much of the day I had wasted.

“About a half hour till. You really need to get to bed on time from now on. It was a wonder how I could get to sleep with all that crashing about you were doing.”

“Right… I guess I did get carried away,” I said, rubbing the still throbbing back of my head awkwardly. “Sooooo… Wait! You said that it was 11:30?”

“Yes I did.”

“Then, my performance at the theater…”

“Is in a half hour. And you look just like you spent the night on the floor. Probably because you did.” Bon Bon was openly smirking by now. Much as I love the mare, there were a few times where she took too much pleasure in teasing ponies.

Anyways, this wasn’t the time to question my choice of romantic partner. I had half an hour to make myself presentable and get to the theater halfway across town.

This was going to suck.


Two hours later, I decided that it hadn’t sucked as much as it could have. Sure, when I arrived I was still soaking wet from the quick shower I had taken, but that only got me a few weird looks. Mostly from ponies visiting Ponyville. I guess the natives have come to expect my oddities. Still, once I had sat down and started to play, everypony stopped whispering and just listened.

Honestly, as much as I complain about having to drag myself down here at the same time every week, I love these performances I put on. Not just for the bits, but those are nice. No, the real reason that I like playing for the crowd is that they look at me as a capable musician that I am, and not just as a slightly odd conspiracy theorist. I know that I am both, but still, it’s nice to have ponies look at me in admiration instead of the curious, questioning, and badly hidden glances that they always give me when I get over-excited about something or other.

“Good show Lyra. That was awesome music,” said a slightly scratchy voice, breaking my out of my self-indulgent thoughts.

I wheeled around and found none other than Ponyville’s newest couple, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, standing in the doorway to the backstage and smiling at me.

“Thanks, Rainbow. I did my best,” I said, blushing a little.

“I didn’t know that that harp thing could make such good music! I thought that it would be boring,” Rainbow said.

“Lyre,” I automatically corrected, while Twilight elbowed Rainbow in the barrel and hissed something about manners under her breath.

“But I liked it a lot! It was really… calming?” Rainbow said hastily, rubbing the spot where Twilight had hit her.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” I said, not wanting to cause any problems by bringing up her earlier rudeness. Besides, I would be kind of a hypocrite if I lectured her about putting her hoof in her mouth. “Honestly, Rainbow, I’m a little surprised to see you here. I didn’t know this was your cup of tea.”

“My cup of what?” Rainbow asked, looking confused.

“It’s an expression meaning preferred activity. Basically, she is expressing surprise that you wanted to see here performance,” Twilight said in a very analytical voice. She then turned and looked questioningly at her marefriend. “Honestly, I was wondering the same thing myself. This is a little slow for somepony like you, so why did you want to come with me and spend the bits on something that you probably wouldn’t like?”

“But I did like it!” Rainbow protested.

“Irrelevant. You were complaining about coming here right up until the music started, so why spend the bits in the first place?” Twilight asked, rather forcefully.

“Isn’t it obvious, Twi?” Rainbow said, looking kind of puzzled at Twilight’s behavior.

“I think that she just wanted to spend more time with you, Twilight.” I said softly, trying to break up this little lover’s spat before it got out of control.

“What?” Twilight said, looking at me as if I had just appeared out of nowhere. “Oh, I see… um… who wants some water? You do Rainbow? I’ll go get it for you!” With that last rushed statement, she turned and galloped out of the room before Rainbow or I could respond.

“Good old Twilight, still as socially clueless as ever.” I said, shaking my head. “Only she wouldn’t realize that their special somepony would want to spend time with her.”

“She tries, you know,” Rainbow said softly, but with a glare.

“I know, I know. It just was a running joke at the school for gifted unicorns. How many Twilight Sparkles does it take to…” I blinked as Rainbow’s glare intensified.

What was I doing? Was I really going to dredge up that old mean joke from school right in front of the marefriend of the mare in question? What could have possibly made me think that was a good idea?

See what I mean about putting my hoof in my mouth?

“Sorry,” I said, feeling a little ashamed.

Rainbow sighed. “Just, watch what you say, ok? Twilight isn’t the only one that can be socially awkward, Lyra."

I simply nodded meekly.

We stood there in silence for a minute, or at least until Twilight ventured back into the backstage of the theater, levitating a glass of water in front of her.

“Here you go, Rainbow. Sorry about how I acted earlier.” She said, hovering the glass of water over to Rainbow.

“No problem, Twilight. Honest mistake, it could have happened to anypony.” Rainbow said airily.

I bit my tongue.

“And I’m sorry that you had to see that, Lyra.” Twilight said, turning to look at me. “I just sort of forgot you were there.”

“No problem, Twilight. I’m just glad that it didn’t turn into some huge argument,” I said, remembering the last time Bon Bon and I had really gone at it. Not pretty.

“You and me both. That would have been a really silly thing to fight about. Thank you for breaking it up,” Twilight said earnestly.

“Er…” I stuttered. Ok, now this was getting awkward again. “L—Like I said, Twilight, it was no problem. Think nothing of it.” Please, Twilight, just drop it. Your sincerity was making me feel really bad about what I almost said.

“Okay, Lyra.” Twilight said, mercifully turning and dropping the subject. “So, Rainbow, what do you want to do from here? We have a lot of free time now.”

“How about we head to Sugarcube Corner?” Rainbow said, lighting up. “I haven’t had one of Pinkie’s cupcakes in a long time.”

“No, Dash. I won’t have you spoil your appetite before we go to dinner again tonight! I worked really hard to get that reservation, and I know you like the food, so no cupcake!” Twilight said, in a tone like a mother scolding her child.

I laughed. The look on Dash’s face was so funny, I couldn’t help myself.

“So,” I said, “you two have a date tonight, I take it? Where at?”

“Oh, the Oasis.” Twilight answered innocently.

I whistled. The Oasis was a pretty expensive restaurant, the most expensive in town, in fact. And it was always, always, booked solid. Twilight must have worked very hard to get that reservation. No wonder she didn’t want Dash to eat before they got to the restaurant.

And the food at the Oasis was undeniably the best in town. Nothing even came close. Bon Bon and I both loved it.

Bon Bon…

You know, I never did get to apologize to her about spending the night in the basement instead of with her. And I mean properly apologize. Not some half-flanked ‘sorry’ as I rushed out the door.

“It’s decided, then!” I exclaimed, startling both Rainbow and Twilight. “We'll do a double date!”

“WHAT?” chorused Rainbow and Twilight.

“Yes, it will be the perfect way to make it up to Bonnie!” I said, bouncing happily.

“Make what up to her?” Twilight asked.

“Oh don’t worry about it, Twilight. Nothing that matters. So, when are we going to meet up?” I asked.

“Well, our reservation is for 8:00, so—“

“So we should meet about 7:30!” I said, cutting Twilight off. “Does in front of the Oasis sound good for you?”

“Sounds perfect, but how are you going to get in? You don’t have a reservation…” Twilight said, looking dazed.

“That’s your problem with all of this? The fact that she doesn’t have a reservation? Not that she just muscled into our date?” Rainbow grumbled, but I ignored her. Twilight didn’t seem to have a problem with it after all.

“Oh, don’t worry about our reservation, I play there all the time. The owner told me that I could come in any time I like, as so long as I play an extra night that week.” I said, happy that that offer had come in handy at least once.

“Oh, okay…” Twilight said, looking a bit dazed.

“No, not okay!” Rainbow cried, looking angry. “You can’t just force your way into our date like this! Come on, Twilight, don’t let her walk all over you like this!”

“But Rainbow, I kind of want to do this. I think it would be a good chance to make some more friends. After all, I have been trying to be more outgoing around other ponies…” Twilight said, giving Rainbow her best set of puppy-dog eyes.

Rainbow immediately looked conflicted. “But, but, there are better ponies to get to know than bouncy over here and her jerk of a marefriend!”

I immediately stopped bouncing and joined Twilight in glaring at the multi-hued pegasus. Sure, Bon Bon can be… abrasive at times, but still, that doesn’t give Rainbow the right to talk about her like that.

“Rainbow, I think you need to apologize to Lyra,” Twilight said softly.

“But, come on Twilight…” Rainbow protested weakly.

“Now,” Twilight said, tapping a hoof against the ground.

“Sorry, Lyra, I didn’t mean to be so rude.” Rainbow said to me, looking down at the ground.

“Consider us even, then,” I said, not wanting to make a big deal of it. “So,” I said, injecting as much cheer into my voice as I could, “see you both at 7:30?”

“Sounds excellent, Lyra!” Twilight exclaimed, clapping her hooves together.

“Sure thing,” Rainbow muttered, still looking down at the ground.

I didn’t pay it any mind. Rainbow would surely cheer up by the time we got the four of us together.

“All right, see you both then!” I chirped over my shoulder as I exited the backstage.


Five hours later, Bon Bon and I were all dressed up and on our way to the Oasis. Both of us were wearing our best, Rarity made dresses. My was a light green number that blended well with my coat, and Bon Bon had on her blue and pink dress that matched her mane.

“You look stunning, Bonnie,” I said.

“Yeah, whatever,” she said, trying to sound all aloof like she always does, but the blush spreading over her cheeks ruined her attempt.

“So, are you looking forwards to dinner tonight?” I asked.

“Yes, but I wish it were just the two of us. You know Rainbow Dash and I don't get along too well.”

“Ah, you’re both just a little hardheaded,” I said, ignoring the glare I got from Bon Bon. “I’m sure the two of you have a lot in common.”

Her glare turned somewhat amused. “Lyra, sweetie, could you tell me what exactly a candy maker with a talent for impressions has in common with a weather mare with delusions of grandeur?”

“Well, you both can be pretty big jerks at times.”

“What!? I… you… ugh,” Bon Bon stuttered, before shaking her head in defeat. “All right, true. But I think that’s more a reason why we don’t get along that something that would bring us closer together.”

“I guess you’re right,” I admitted, before walking right into the side of a building.

“Oh, I guess you remember where the restaurant is,” Bon Bon said with a smirk.

“That I do,” I said, rubbing my poor head. “I guess you could say it made quite the impression on me!”

“I think that was the worst joke I have ever heard,” Bon Bon deadpanned, and we both laughed.

“After you,” I said, gesturing to the door a few feet from where I had impacted the building. Bon Bon gave me a quick smile, and we both entered the Oasis.

Rainbow Dash 4

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I still can’t believe that Lyra muscled in on our date like that. Granted, Twilight said that it was okay, but that was probably just because Lyra was so bossy. Still, I wasn’t going to argue against Twilight coming out of her comfort zone.

She was really trying hard for me. She was still getting used to being so open about her hopes, dreams and struggles with me. For the first couple of days, I did all the talking, telling her all of my embarrassing moments and other stories that I would have liked to keep hidden. I had been hoping that showing myself to her, warts and all, would help her realize that she had nothing to fear about being open with me.

And it worked. She had gradually started to tell me more personal details about her life. Granted, most of it wasn’t very interesting or was flat out boring, and other times she would start going on about her research, but at least she had stopped using that project of hers as an excuse to flee from me when she got too overwhelmed by how emotionally intimate we were getting.

I think part of that was me knowing about her condition. According to her, I was the first time she had told somepony who wasn’t a doctor or family about it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I do have a question about that…

“Hey, Twi, does anypony else know about—“

THUMP.

Oh, look, Lyra just walked into the side of the restaurant. That was hilarious.

“Rainbow, stop giggling! It’s not polite,” Twilight said, looking annoyed.

“Sorry, Twi, but I think she deserved that a little.”

“Listen, I know you’re still a bit upset that Lyra and Bon Bon will be joining us, but could you try to stay civil, at the very least?”

“I’ll do my best, as so long a Bon Bon does,” I said, knowing there was little chance of that earth pony keeping her rude mouth shut.

No, Bon Bon and I don’t get along too well. She hates my guts for some reason, and is not shy about telling me so. And I may have a tiny problem about shooting my own insults back at her…

“I suppose that that is the best I can hope for. Come on, they just went in,” Twilight said, trotting inside without waiting for me.

I rushed to join her.


The inside of the restaurant wasn’t very crowded. Well, I guess that’s what happens when you charge as much as they do for a single meal. And I suppose that helps with the service and waiting time, not having a lot of orders.

“Wow,” said Lyra, who had somehow managed to sneak up behind me despite going in first. “I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to actually look at this place, instead of just playing my lyre. I don’t remember it being this… extravagant.”

“Yeah, and it is a bit over the top,” I said.

“Those mean the same thing, featherbrain,” said a particularly snide voice from behind me.

I spun around, and sure enough, Bon Bon was standing there, an insufferable smirk on her face. I really wanted to say something, anything, to wipe that stupid smile off of her smug jerk face, but I was drawing a blank.

Luckily, Lyra did that for me. “Bonnie,” she said, “remember how I said that you can be a bit of a jerk? You’re doing that right now.”

Bon Bon looked as if she had been caught passing notes in class. “But… but she started it!”

Lyra tilted her head. “How?” she asked.

“Umm…”

“Hah, serves you right!” I said, basking in the glow of a victory that I hadn’t even need to lift a feather to get.

“Rainbow, now you’re being rude,” Twilight said, looking at me in disappointed way.

“Oh, um… sorry, Bon Bon.”

Saying that felt like I was trying to swallow something slimy, but it was worth it to stay in Twilight’s good books.

Bon Bon was silent for a moment, until Lyra nudged her in the barrel. “Oh, um, I’m sorry too…” she said, and the look on her face suggested that it was just as unpleasant for her to say that as it had been for me.

“Now then, let’s get seated!” Lyra exclaimed, clapping her hooves together like Twilight sometimes does.

“Very well, madam, right this way,” said the waiter who must have been hovering around us until this moment, but I had somehow failed to notice.

As we walked to our table, I took a look around at the place. I was right, it was over the top. It was kind of dark in here, but even then I could see the giant painting on the ceiling past the gold plated chandelier. The mural looked like a replica of the one from that famous church, the one with Celestia reaching out a hoof to an earth pony that was somehow up in the clouds.

When we got to the table itself, I had to stop myself from letting out a snort of laughter. The table itself had very complex patterns on the top of it, all done in small gold wiring under a coat of varnish. It may have been expected of such a high class place to be a bit fancy, but this looked like they were just doing it to desperately try to impress.

Not that you could tell from the look on Twilight’s face. She seemed completely unfazed by the ‘splendor’ around us. I guess that growing up in a place like Canterlot will numb a pony to things like this.

Lyra didn’t look to surprised either, despite her earlier comment. I guess that she plays in enough places like this to have seen it all before. Her jerk of a marefriend, however, was gawking at every little detail.

“Water will be here for you shortly, madams,” the waiter said as we took our seats around the table. He quickly scurried away, and we all turned to look at one another.

The silence that followed was unbearably awkward.

Finally, Lyra broke the ice. “So, Twilight, what have you been up to? I’ve heard some interesting noises coming from the library recently. In fact, a little while ago I heard somepony yell that you were on fire.”

Twilight chuckled sheepishly and shot me a glance. I, meanwhile was trying to hold my laughter. I had completely forgotten about that little incident, with everything that had followed.

“Oh, that was nothing, just a small accident with wizard’s fire. It was—“ Twilight began, before somepony else cut her off.

“Wait, fire? Was anypony hurt?” Bon Bon asked. Huh, I guess she does have a heart. She sounded genuinely worried.

“Don’t worry, Bonnie, wizard’s fire is just a harmless little magical trick. Nopony was ever in any danger, right Twilight?” Lyra said, before Twilight had a chance to say anything.

“Erm, right. Considering all the things that I was working with at the time, the fire was probably the best thing that I could have spilled on myself. Anything else would have been painful in addition to embarrassing,” Twilight said.

“Well, that’s what wizard’s fire is for, right? A harmless and safe way to test how a magical charge effects an object,” Lyra said, chuckling.

“Right. Still embarrassing, though,” Twilight said, shaking her head with a smile on her face. “Still,” she continued, “I’m surprised that you know so much about an obscure concept like that. I wasn’t aware that wizard’s fire was well known outside of academic circles.”

“Well, I did go to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, just like you,” Lyra said.

“Really? I never saw you! What year were you in?” Twilight asked, looking excited.

“Um… same as you… I even invited you to several parties…” Lyra said, looking awkward all of the sudden.

Twilight shrunk back too. “Oh, I’m sorry for not remembering…”

And just like that, the whole conversation frosted over again. Lovely.

Luckily, the waiter was there with our water to make the awkward go away.

“The water is free, correct, waiter?” Bon Bon asked.

“As so long as you are ordering an actual meal, my lady,” the waiter replied, his tone indicating that he may have had trouble with such a thing happening in the past.

And as he passed out the menus, I couldn’t blame whatever pony had decided to chicken out at the sight of the costs. I had had food here once before, but I had made the mistake of ordering without looking at the costs. I ended up doing the dishes for a week.

I know it was Twilight’s turn to pay, but still, I was going to owe her big.

Judging from the look on Bon Bon’s face, I wasn’t the only on a little shell-shocked at the prices. I idly wonder who was going to be paying out of the two of them, or if they were going to split it. After all, I know that Lyra makes a fair amount of bits from her concerts, and Bon Bon owns her own shop.

Wait, does that pay more or less than my position as weather pony?

“Anyways, Twilight, what were you doing with that wizards fire? Running some sort of experiment, I take it?” Bon Bon asked.

Oh, no. Please don’t get her started, Bon Bon. Don’t get me wrong, I love Twilight, but I find few things more boring than Twilight talking science. It was like having a different language shouted at you, without all the fun of charades that inevitably followed.

“Well, I was using it to test both the magical absorption and stress resistance of various crystals. I—“ Twilight began, but to my surprise Lyra cut her off.

“Wait a second, Twilight, I don’t understand.” Thank you, Lyra! Now I don’t have to tell Twilight that nopony can understand what she is saying

“Wouldn’t it be better to dunk it in kappa’s water to test stress resistance? It has a bit more punch than the fire does,” Lyra said.

Oh. Oh no.

“True, but that wouldn’t test the absorption. I need to know what a crystal’s stress resistance is while it is absorbing magic.” Twilight said, her eyes lighting up.

“Really? Does it change? Sorry, I don’t work with crystals much, more cloth.” Lyra said back.

“Oh, yes, some change their resistance dramatically while absorbing energy. Quartz, for example, changes from a resistance of 10.7 to…”

I tuned them out. I had a hard enough time listening to all that nonsense when it was just Twilight, but the two of them were talking so fast I could hardly make out what they were saying.

“Look what you started,” I hissed, looking at Bon Bon.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think that they would go all magical genius on us!” Bon Bon said, looking genuinely sorry.

“What did you think would happen when you asked Twilight about her research?”

“I was just trying to start a conversation, featherbrain! Would you rather us just sit here in silence?”

I glanced back at Twilight and Lyra, who were now scribbling numbers and equations on a napkin. “I think you succeeded. I don’t think we could get a word in edgewise even if we tried.”

Bon Bon grimaced. “I said I was sorry! What more do you want, featherbrain?”

“For Celestia’s sake, why do you keep calling me that? Would you like it if I called you a mud pony?” I shot back, having reached my snapping point for her rudeness.

“Why I keep calling you that? You really don’t remember, do you?” Bon Bon said, a rueful smirk on her face.

“Remember what?”

“You crashed into the side of my shop!”

“So?” I said, feeling just a tad defensive. “I do that to a lot of buildings. What make that time so special?”

“You knocked all of my product onto the floor!”

“So? We could have just picked it up.”

Bon Bon looked at me as if I was out of my mind. “Rainbow, I work with candy and fudge! It was the middle of summer! During a heat wave! Even if I could pick it up and put it back on the shelf after it touched the floor, most of it was half melted! And what the hay do you mean by we?”

“I did stick around to help, right?” I said. Oh, please don’t let me be the one in the wrong here.

“When has the great Rainbow Dash ever stuck around to help a pony that she inconvenienced? No, you didn’t stick around to help, and even if you had, your little stunt put me so far into the red that day that it wasn’t even funny.”

“I helped Twilight when I first met her!” I protested.

Bon Bon just stared at me.

“Fine! I messed up! Sorry!” I said as loudly as I could without making a scene.

“Thank you.” Bon Bon said, an insufferable smirk on her face.

“Hold up,” I interrupted, “you aren’t blameless either! You could have talked to me instead of just insulting me! I could have figured out some way to pay you back!”

“Like you actually would, featherbrain! You would have just laughed in my face!”

“And you know that how? Admit it, you just like an excuse to act like a jerk!”

“Listen, featherbrain—“

“Call me that one more time and—“

“ENOUGH!”

Bon Bon and I both whirled around and stared at Lyra.

Lyra looked mad. To be honest, I never had seen Lyra actually mad before. She was ether really peppy and happy, or kind of irritable when things weren’t going her way, but she was always quick to apologize to anypony she had snapped at. But now…

Right now she looked furious.

“Listen up, Rainbow, and you too, Bonnie. I know that I was just hoping to have a nice dinner and have all four of us get to know each other better, and I would bet good money that Twilight was hoping for the same thing.”

“That’s right!” Twilight said, looking just as angry as Lyra did.

“I was even hoping for the two of you to bury the hatchet, or, at the very least, be civil. Was that really too much to ask?” Lyra continued.

Bon Bon and I were both silent.

“Instead, what we get is a big argument as soon as Twilight and I start talking. If I hadn’t chimed in, how long do you think it would have taken for us to get thrown out? I know Twilight likes the food here, so how do you think she would feel if she got banned from the restaurant for your behavior? And Bonnie, you know that this restaurant is one of my best paying and most consistent jobs. Do you really want to jeopardize that for a pointless argument with Rainbow?” Lyra continued.

“Not really,” Bon Bon muttered.

“And Rainbow might have a bad habit of making messes and letting other ponies clean them up, but you know she would have made it up to you if you had just asked. Both of you are at fault, so I want both of you to apologize.” Lyra said.

Bon Bon and I looked at each other. “Sorry,” we both said at the same time.

Lyra instantly started grinning again. “Much better. Now, Twilight and I are going to resume our conversation, and I want you to say nice things to each other or nothing at all. Got it?”

“Yes,” said Bon Bon and I simultaneously.

“Thank you.” And with that, Lyra turned back to Twilight and they both started fussing over that napkin with all the scribbles on it.

I spent the rest of the dinner in silence, as did Bon Bon.


“Wow, I had no idea that Lyra was so well versed in magical theory!” Twilight said as we headed home. She was in a very good mood, having found somepony who could at least keep up with her when she started talking about her projects.

I, meanwhile, was miserable. “Yeah, good for her.”

“I know, right! It’s nice to finally have somepony to talk to!”

“What am I, chopped alfalfa?” I complained bitterly.

Twilight instantly stopped and wheeled around for face me, ears falling flat against her head. “No, I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant—“

“I know what you meant, I was just venting.”

“Oh, okay…”

I sighed. “Listen, Twilight, I love you and all, but never make me hang out with Bon Bon again.”

“I know that your argument was a bit unpleasant, but did you at least have a good time after that?” Twilight asked, oblivious to the look on my face.

I glared at her. “I didn’t say a word all dinner long.”

“You ordered dinner, didn’t you?”

My glare intensified.

“And I like to do that sometimes, just sit there and think,” Twilight continued, still oblivious.

“Twilight, you—“ I stopped myself before I yelled at her. It may be frustrating, but it is part of dating Twilight; dealing with her social skills, or, rather, her lack of them.

“Twilight,” I began again, more gently this time. “You may like it, but I don’t. Sitting still and doing nothing is about as far from something I like as possible.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Twilight said, looking downcast.

“No problem. Just try not to put me through that again.”

Twilight and I shared a warm smile.

“Well, this is unexpected,” said a new, very smug sounding voice. “Twilight Sparkle actually found somepony that likes to be with her. You must be the first pony she hasn’t just ignored.”

Twilight and I spun around to get a good look at this pony who had interrupted our moment.

She was a rather scrawny unicorn, with a red coat and brown mane. She had on some sort of vest with lots of pockets and a pair of glasses were perched on her muzzle. Her cutie mark was a drop of blood caught between two slides of glass.

But the thing that stuck out the most about her was the cruel sneer on her face.

“Um, hi. Er… do I know you?” Twilight asked, looking taken back at the sudden appearance of this odd unicorn.

“Oh, good old Twilight Sparkle doesn’t remember her old rival from school. Why am I not surprised?” said the new arrival.

She didn’t look too upset that Twilight didn’t remember her, in my humble opinion.

“Hey, you want to hear a good joke? How many Twilight Sparkles does it take to change a lighting crystal?” she asked, her grin somehow getting even bigger and meaner.

“We don’t want to hear—“ I began, before Twilight answered.

“It has to be one, because she couldn’t get anypony to help her even if she tried. I heard it before, and it wasn’t funny the first time,” Twilight said.

“Maybe not for you, but everypony else found it hysterical. Probably because it was true,” said the unicorn. “Well, now I’ve got to go, but just to let you know…” she paused before turning around and flicking her tail in Twilight's face causing Twilight to flinch.

If this unicorn didn’t leave now, I was going to hit her.

“That grant from the Canterlot Charity Society will be mine!” she yelled out as she walked away.

I watched her like a hawk until she vanished around a corner.

“Who the hay was that?” I asked Twilight.

“I honestly have no idea, and I don’t think it matters. C’mon, let’s go home.”

“Wait, you mean like together? Go home together, as in to your house, together?” I asked, not sure if I had heard her right.

“Yes, you can spend the night if you want,” Twilight said innocently.

“Really? You’re ready for that?” I asked, surprised.

“Ready for what? C’mon, if we hurry, we can have Spike help set up the guest bedroom.” she said, beginning to trot in the direction of her house.

I laughed. That was so typically Twilight. And I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

“What so funny?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just, thank you for putting me in a good mood,” I said.

“You’re welcome, I guess,” said Twilight, looking puzzled.

“Let’s go home,” I said, following her.


It took me a second to realize where I was when I woke up. Then I remembered where I was, in Twilight’s guest room.

It took me less than a second to realize what had woken me up in the middle of the night.

It took me even less time than that to jump over to the door to the room, where a sobbing Twilight Sparkle stood.

“Twilight, what’s wrong? Twilight?” I asked frantically, looking her up and down to make sure she wasn’t hurt anywhere. She looked perfectly fine, just a little scruffy.

Before I could say anything more, she wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. “You’re real, right?” she asked.

“Huh?” was all I could manage to say.

“You’re real, right? You and Rarity and Applejack and Fluttershy and Pinkie! Please tell me you’re all real!”

“Yes, yes, Twilight, we’re all real! As real as real can be!” I said, trying to calm her down.

She released the hug for a fraction of a second to look directly in my eyes.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said in-between sobs.

“I think you just had a bad dream, Twilight,” I said. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed.”

“No!” she shouted, looking scared. “No, please, just stay with me here tonight. Please don’t leave me.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t leave you. I promise.” I said, meaning every word.

“Thank you,” she said again.

She collapsed to the floor, pulling me with her.

We stayed like that for the rest of the night. Twilight eventually fell asleep.

I was awake for the rest of the night, wondering what would happen in the morning.

Rainbow Dash 5

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I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I woke up, Twilight was nowhere to be seen.

It only took a moment or two for me to start panicking. She had been in a bad state last night, and I had no idea if she would be better in the morning, or just start wandering around, confused. Oh, man, if she wasn’t aware of what she was doing and somehow got out into Ponyville… I don’t want to even think about how bad that would be.

“Twilight!” I yelled, hoping that she would answer and tell me everything was all right.

“Down here!” came the reply, from the direction of the kitchen.

I scrambled out of the guest bedroom, flying down the stairs to land in the kitchen.

Twilight was levitating several pots and pans, and watching Spike intently.

“Now all you have to do is put it on the maker and just wait for thirty seconds,” Spike said, pouring some batter onto a waffle maker.

“That’s it?” Twilight asked, looking puzzled. “I would have thought that you would add more ingredients to give it more flavor!”

Spike glanced at me. “I think that this time, you should put your spices on after it is finished. That way everypony can eat it… with what they want, I mean!” he backtracked.

“Oh, okay,” Twilight said.

“Anyways, Twilight, I think Rainbow Dash wants to talk to you.”

“Is she here yet?” Twilight asked, turning around to face me. “Oh, I guess so.”

“Twilight…” I said, not exactly sure what to say.

“Hi, Rainbow…” Twilight looked like she was in the same boat.

Spike glanced between the two of us. “Hey, Rainbow, why don’t you go freshen up? Your mane is all knotted, and your coat could use a good lather.”

“But…” I began, before I saw him giving me a look that said ‘let me handle this.’ “Fine.”

I turned and began trotting to Twilight’s bathroom. I took a shower as quickly as I could, which was a little hard considering that I had spent the night on the floor. My coat was matted, and my mane was just a mess. I might not be Rarity, but I still take some pride in looking as awesome as I can.

After a quick towel dry, I began to head back to the kitchen, hoping to get some answers. I was really worried about what had happened last night.

Before I could enter, however, I heard Spike and Twilight arguing.

“… but what if she thinks that I’m weird and wants out of our relationship because of this?” Twilight said, sounding like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

“Twilight, I really doubt that Rainbow would leave you for something as little as this. Give her a little credit. After all, she didn’t run after you told her about your A.C.M.S., did she?” Spike said.

“No, but…”

“He’s right, Twilight. Whatever happened last night, I would never leave you because of it,” I said, stepping into the kitchen.

“But, but…” Twilight stuttered.

“Please, tell me Twilight,” I said, reaching out a hoof and putting it gently on her shoulder.

“Okay,” she said, looking away.

“Do you want me to stay here?” Spike asked.

“No, Spike, I want to do this on my own,” Twilight responded.

Spike nodded and left the room without another word.

Twilight and I sat in silence for a few minutes after that. Eventually, my patience wore out.

“Twilight…” I said, before realizing that I had no idea what I wanted to say.

Luckily, Twilight spoke up. “I had a nightmare, Rainbow.”

“I sort of thought that might be it,” I said. “What was it about? Mine are usually about clowns.”

Twilight giggled, and I felt relieved. “I can believe that, clowns are scary. No,” she said, going somber again, “mine was more… how should I put it?”

“Take your time,” I said, trying to be as patient as possible.

“Well, I… in my dream I was back in the hospital… but it was different.”

“How so?”

“Everypony was telling me that… that I wasn’t special.”

I tilted my head. “What, you mean like they were telling you that you were worthless or something? But you are definitely special to—“

“No,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Not in so many words. They were telling me that… that I wasn’t the student of Princess Celestia, and that I wasn’t a national hero, and that the five of you didn’t exist.”

“Oh,” I said, not sure how to respond.

“And do you want to know the worst part?”

“I guess I do,” I said, feeling a bit of dread creep into my head.

“I believed them.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s something that I’ve worried about ever since I met you girls and became an element of harmony. What if it’s all some sort of dream thought up by my sick mind? Sometimes it all seems too good to be true,” Twilight said, her eyes filling with tears.

I swept her up in a hug, much like the one that she had given me last night.

“You feel this, Twilight?” I asked, holding her tight.

“Yes,” she said, nodding.

“Feel my fur against yours? My heart beating in my chest?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think that they are real now?”

“Yes. Yes, I do Rainbow,” Twilight said, then burst into tears.

We stayed like that for at least ten minutes, us holding each other and Twilight sobbing into my shoulder. I saw Spike
poke his head into the kitchen once or twice, checking on us, but he didn’t say anything. I guess he felt that he needed to let her get it all out.

Finally, Twilight stopped crying and released me. She smiled at me for a moment, before grimacing.

“Sorry, Rainbow,” she said.

“Don’t be. Now if you ever feel like that again, I want you to come find me and give me a great big hug, all right?” I said, smiling.

“I will,” Twilight promised. “But that’s not what I’m sorry for. I’m sorry about your coat. You just finished washing it and…”

I glanced over at the spot on my coat where she had been crying and flinched. It was a mess again, all messed up and knotted with Twilight’s tears.

“No problem,” I said, “just give me a wet washcloth and I’ll have it back to normal in no time.”

Twilight nodded and floated a cloth over to me, then yelled for Spike to come back into the kitchen. As I busied myself cleaning up the mess that Twilight had made of me, Spike and Twilight got back to the cooking lesson.

I’ve got to say, I was grateful to the little guy. He had shown a lot of maturity for how he usually acted. He seemed to know just when to let Twilight and I have some alone time.

And thank Celestia that he was trying to teach Twilight how to cook something edible.


After watching Twilight pile every spice know to pony-kind on her waffle, we had sat down and had a nice chat about nothing important over breakfast.

After the meal, Spike excused himself to go play with the crusaders, leaving Twilight and I alone to do cleanup.

Not that I minded. It was nice to have some time alone with Twilight without Bon Bon or Lyra or that mean unicorn butting in.

Speaking of that unicorn from last night…

“Hey, Twi, do you really not remember that unicorn? You know, the rude one from last night?” I asked.

Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. “No, I don’t have the slightest inkling where I may have seen her before. So that’s been bugging you as well?”

“Yeah,” I said, “she really got on my nerves. Who the hay does she think she is, acting all high and mighty like that?”

“Well, judging from what she said, she probably went to school with me. I don’t know of any other place where she could have learned that joke.”

“That ‘joke’. Right…”

“I’ve got it!” Twilight exclaimed suddenly, causing me to almost drop the dish I was cleaning.

“What? What have you got?” I asked.

“I know how we can find out who that pony was!” Twilight said, looking at me with a gleam in her eye.

“All right, how?”

“The yearbook!”

Everything clicked into place for me. “Right! If she really went to the same school you did, then she would be in the yearbook! Cool, let’s dig it out and… and… what do we do after that? What good does knowing who she is do us?”

Twilight looked taken back at that. “Ummm… I guess if she keeps harassing us, we could tell the royal guards to keep an eye on her. Anyways, it doesn’t really matter, I just want to know why she seems to have a grudge against me.”

I shrugged. “Works for me. Come on, let’s go look her up!”

“About that…” Twilight said, suddenly looking sheepish. “I, umm… I don’t actually have any of the yearbooks from school…”

“Oh. I can actually believe that. Then why did you bring it up?”

“Well, I know Lyra went to the school for gifted unicorns, so I figure she has some, being more social than me…”

“Cool! Let’s go over to the theater and talk to her! If we hurry, maybe I won’t have to see Bon Bon.”

“No.”

“What?” I was startled at Twilights blunt answer.

“No, you need to hurry and meet up with the weather team. I think you have skipped out on enough of your job already,” Twilight said, glancing at the clock. “In fact, you better leave soon.”

“But… But…” I stammered, trying to find some way to avoid the tedium that is setting up a clear day.

Dear Celestia, I just used the word tedium. Twilight’s vocabulary was rubbing off on me.

“Dash,” Twilight said, putting a hoof on my shoulder, “I know you like spending time with me, but I do need some time to myself. I have research to do, and I don’t think that you would enjoy just sitting around watching me scribble notes on paper. Besides, I don’t think you want to get fired either.”

“But… fine,” I said.

“That’s the spirit!” Twilight said. “C’mon, let’s finish cleaning up.”


“Cloud Kicker! Derpy! I need you to take care of the clouds over Sweet Apple Acres! Thunderlane, Comet, you two take the south half of town! Swift Feather, Zephyr, take the north half! I’ll take the edge of the Everfree Forest and Fluttershy’s cottage! Any questions?”

“No, Sir!” the weather team shouted in unison.

“Then get to it!” I barked, and I took a certain amount of pride in the way they all scattered instantly on my command.

The team may grumble about me being a bit lazy, but when push comes to shove, all of them are right behind me.

Still, I thought as I took off towards the forest, looking back over the past week, I think Twilight may have been right. I was getting a little clingy, and I probably had slacked off on more of my weather duties than was smart.

But after last night, could you blame me for being a bit worried about Twilight? Sure, she was just walking across town, but I still wanted to be there just in case of…

I screeched to a stop in midair, and nearly smacked myself in the face with a hoof. I was doing the same thing that Twilight was! I was treating her like some sort of child that need to be watched constantly. I needed to remember that Twilight had done alright without me for years, and that worrying about her was doing her a disservice.

However, Twilight was different from a normal pony, and things were obviously different between us now. I mean, we were fillyfriends, for crying out loud! It was kind of expected for us to worry about each other.

Gah, this stuff is confusing. Maybe a round of cloud busting would get my mind off of things. Who knows, maybe after I got done I could drop in and give Fluttershy a visit. She had been dating Big Mac for a month or two now, so she might know more about relationships than I would.


“Hey, Fluttershy, you home?”

No response.

“Hello!?” I said while knocking as loud as I could on her door.

Still nothing. Maybe she really was out, but I hadn’t seen her in town, so…

I spotted a squirrel looking questionably down at me from above Fluttershy’s door. Well… if it worked for her…

“Hey, little guy, do you know where Fluttershy is?” I asked.

Predictably, all I got in response was a lot of little squirrely noises.

“I knew that wouldn’t work,” I said, sighing. I turned around to leave when I heard the door creak open.

“Rainbow? What are you doing here?”

“Oh hey, Fluttershy, I thought you might be home,” I said, turning to face my friend. Immediately, I crinkled my nose and took a step backwards. “Whoa, Fluttershy, have you been working out or something? No offense, but you kind of stink.”

Fluttershy blushed and shrank back. Now that I got a look at her, it really did look like she had been exercising a lot. Her mane was ruffled and her coat was slightly wet. She stunk of sweat and some other scent that I couldn’t quite pin down. Oh well, not like it was important.

“Something like that,” she said. “So why did you want to talk to me so bad?”

“Right, well… you have more experience with serious relationships than me,” I said, feeling slightly weird that I was coming to Fluttershy, of all ponies, for advice about relationships.

“Only by a few weeks…”

“Still, that’s more than me!”

“True, but… I was kind of in the middle of something.”

I waved a hoof. “You can go back to working out later! I really need advice!”

Fluttershy frowned, and glanced over her shoulder at something in her house. After a moment, she looked at me. “I guess I could help you, if you promise to make it quick.”

“Thank you! I would hug you, but… um, I know,” I said, gesturing in her general direction.

“I understand. And you said you needed relationship help? Oh!” she gasped, and held a hoof up to her mouth. “You and Twilight aren’t having problems, are you?”

“No, nothing like that! I just, I don’t know, I think I might worry about her too much. Is that even possible?” I asked, feeling a little foolish.

“Well,” Fluttershy said, looking thoughtful, “I guess it depends on what you are worrying about. Is it that you think that she might leave you or something, because then it might be—“

“It isn’t that!” I shouted, not wanting Fluttershy to think I was some sort of clingy jealous mare. “No, it’s more like I worry about… her health, I guess?” I couldn’t just out and out say that Twilight was cra—mentally ill, but hopefully Fluttershy wouldn’t push too much.

“Her health? Like, some sort of chronic illness?” Fluttershy said, sounding very careful for some reason.

“No, no, nothing like that! … but if she did…” I said, feeling very foolish.

“Hypothetically speaking, right?” Fluttershy said.

“Hypo-what?”

“I mean, just as a thought experiment, you want to know how worried to be about Twilight if, and I am not saying that she does, if she had a chronic illness,” Fluttershy said, with a tone in her voice as if she were talking to a child.

“Right,” I said, feeling a little annoyed being spoken down to like that.

“Well,” she said, rubbing her chin with a hoof while looking at the ceiling, “I think that if that were the case, I would have to leave it up to her.”

“But—I—“

“Let me explain, please. I know you feel like it is your job to care for her, but you need to understand, Twilight has her own life. And if she has been dealing with this theoretical illness up until now, then she probably has it under control.”

“I guess that’s true. So, are you saying that I shouldn’t worry at all?” I asked, feeling sort of lost.

“Oh, no no no! If she has some sort of illness, you should worry about her at least a little. I mean… hypothetically.”

“So the trick is to worry the perfect amount?” I groaned in frustration. “How the hay do I do that?”

“Well, you should learn the warning signs and how to treat the illness first, so that if your worries do end up coming true, then you can take action. That’s why I read so many veterinarian textbooks! That way when one of my little friends falls ill, I can do more than just worry!” Fluttershy said, looking very happy at the mention of her critters.

“I think I see. I mean, I already know what the symptoms are, at least in the most general way. I just don’t know what to do if she starts acting that way. How do I find out what to do?”

“Talk to Twilight, of course.” Fluttershy said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. In hindsight, it probably was.

“Right!” I said, feeling sure of myself again now that I had some idea of what to do next. “Thanks, Fluttershy! I’m going to head to Twilight right now to talk to her about her… um… plants?”

Oh man, what had I almost done? I had nearly let the cat out of the bag! I couldn’t exactly say that I was going to talk to Twilight about something that, as far as Fluttershy knew, was just something I made up!

“Right! Go talk to Twilight about her, um, plants!” I said, desperate to salvage the situation. “You know how she is, always wanting to talk about her plants!” I plastered the biggest smile I could on my face and hoped that Fluttershy would buy it.

Thankfully, she just smiled sweetly at me. “You really should get back to her,” she said. “Oh, but Rainbow, don’t tell her about our conversation. It would be awkward for her. I mean, can you think of how strange it would be to Twilight, who is perfectly healthy, to know that two of her friends were talking about her as if she were sick?”

Oh, good. For a moment there, I thought that I would have to find some way to keep Fluttershy quiet.

“Thank, Fluttershy. You’re a good friend,” I said.

Fluttershy opened her mouth to say something, but then somepony sneezed.

Somepony very male.

Somepony inside of Fluttershy’s house.

My mind kicked into overdrive.

Fact one: Fluttershy looked as if she had just had a very tiring exercise session.

Fact two: There was a stallion in her house, hiding from me.

Fact three: Fluttershy was in a relationship with Big Mac.

Conclusion: Too mortifying to think about.

“For Celestia’s sake, you stopped in the middle of doing that to talk to me!?” I shouted.

“We were, um, kind of taking a break at the moment…” Fluttershy said, blushing madly.

I opened and closed my mouth in shock a couple of times before I found my voice. “Thank you, I guess?”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome…”

“Just do me a favor, next time, Fluttershy, and ignore me if I come around when you are doing…that…” I said, running a hoof through my mane awkwardly.

“Right… I guess you should get going now… you did want to talk to Twilight, right?” Fluttershy asked.

“Right. I’ll see you later, Fluttershy,” I said, and I took off as fast as I could without waiting for her reply.


“Twilight! I need to talk to you about your plants!” I said as I burst into the library through the second story window. Thankfully, Twilight had been keeping them unlocked for me, now that I was a frequent visitor to the library. That would probably change once winter rolled around, but for now I was just happy that Twilight was leaving a way into the library just for me.

Twilight glanced up from the book that she was reading. “Hi, Rainbow! Um… what plants are you talking about?”

“Never mind that! I need to talk to you about… hey, is that Lyra’s yearbook?” I asked, as I noticed what Twilight was reading.

“Yep! Lyra loaned it to me, just so I could find out who our mystery mare is,” Twilight said, as she turned another page and glanced at it. “I did manage to find out who she is.”

“Really?” I asked. “That’s good! So who is she and why does she not like you?”

“Well, her name is Blood Work, and she was actually in several clubs, mostly intellectual ones, and competed in several events like science fairs and academic debates. She got first place most of the time… except…”

“So she is really smart. I don’t care. Did you find out why she was so mean?”

“Well, the only times she didn’t get first place were the times that I was competing for one reason or another. Every single time, I got first place and she got second…”

I laughed. “Oh, I get it, she’s just bitter that you tarnished her perfect record! Who cares if she got second place some of the time?”

Twilight shot me a look. “Said the mare that has often said that second place is for losers.”

Oh, that hurt. “So, Twilight, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about,” I said, desperate for any way to change the subject.

“Really? What about?” Twilight asked.

“Well, last night got me thinking…”

Twilight actually flinched. “Please don’t break up with me! I know I haven’t been the best fillyfriend, but I promise I’ll try harder! Please don’t—“

“Twilight, calm down! I’m not breaking up with you!” I said, interrupting her. “I just want to talk about it!”

“Oh, sorry…” Twilight said, ears flat against her head.

“Listen, I know you told me all about your A.C.M.S., but I don’t really know what to do if something like that happened. Is there a book or something that I could read?”

“I see…” Twilight said, glancing at the ceiling as if deep in thought. “There isn’t really a book to read, maybe some pamphlets somewhere, but not a book. But I think there is another, better way for us to discuss this.”

“Well, what is it?” I asked.

“Rainbow,” Twilight said, looking me dead in the eye. “How would you like to come visit Doctor Hooves with me next week?”

Doctor Hooves 5

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I was rather surprised when I opened the door to my waiting room and found two ponies standing before me. “Oh, hello, Twilight, Rainbow Dash,” I said to her in what I hoped was a bright tone before glancing at the light blue mare. “I must say, I didn’t expect to see two of you today.”

“I didn’t really expect to be here either, doc.” Rainbow looked slightly overwhelmed as she turned to face Twilight, “I thought that we were going to see him together next week. Not today.”

“That would have been better,” I said truthfully, “If you had told me that Rainbow was coming, I could have prepared more.”

Twilight looked chastised, her ears flicked back and her brows knotted. Her voice came out softer than usual, “I know, I know. It’s just that, well, I wanted to do this as soon as possible, and—“

“It's alright, Twilight.” Hopefully, Rainbow wouldn’t cause too many problems. “Hold on a moment, and I'll grab another chair. We can continue this in my office. Twilight, you can take the couch as usual, and Rainbow may take my chair.”

I moved back into my office, allowing the mares to enter ahead of me, before turning to the closet where I keep my spare, and rather uncomfortable, folding chair. It must have been a while since I had used the thing, as it was buried under a lot of junk. As I started to dig it out, I began to think about what was going to happen in the session ahead. I had a bad feeling that Rainbow was going to make this a lot harder than it needed to be. That mare was a mare of action, and I don’t think that she put much stock in talking her problems out. That was probably the reason why she had been invited, I realized. Rainbow Dash would never be comfortable with not knowing what course of action to take, and Twilight must have thought this was the best way to alleviate her fears.

So, I reflected as I pulled the folding chair from the bowels of my closet and set it up at my desk, this session will probably be a mix of getting Dash to stay calm, and explaining to her how to best interact with Twilight. A moment later, the three of us were sitting in my office. I was waiting for one of the two of them to speak first as I tried to make myself more comfortable in the hard chair. Eventually, Rainbow lost her patience and broke the silence. “So, is this all the two of you do every week? Just…sit around not saying anything?”

“Well, no, not really,” Twilight said. “Most of the time I tell him about what has been happening over the past week, and we discuss that.”

“Oh… then why don’t you do that?”

“I was trying to think about what to say!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Then how about this,” she said, fixing me with a look that was halfway to a glare, “I want to know how to be a better marefriend for Twilight.”

Well, I thought to myself and forced down a huff of a laugh. She certainly knows how to get to the point. “In what way, Rainbow?” I asked aloud.

“Well, um…” Rainbow deflated and stumbled over her words. “Well, you know, with her, um, A.C.M.S. thingy, not that she can’t take care of herself, but just in case of, well…”

“You want to know what to do in a hypothetical worst case scenario. Does that sound about right?” I asked.

“There’s that word again,” Rainbow muttered under her breath, before nodding.

I shifted my attention back to Twilight. “Would it be okay with you if I shared the emergency plan that the Princess, your parents, and I have in place?”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but Rainbow cut her off. “Whoa, hold on a moment! Why do you have to ask her like that?! I mean, she obviously wants me to know. Otherwise she wouldn’t have brought me here!”

I almost groaned, but I managed to internalize it. This was precisely what I was afraid of. Rainbow, from what I could tell, took everything like a challenge. That could be an admirable trait in some situations, but in a setting like this… “Rainbow,” I said, doing my best to keep any tone of frustration out of my voice, “I need to make sure that Twilight is one hundred percent willing to go along with this, and I need to be sure that she wasn’t pressured into doing this against her will. It is part of my job as her doctor.”

Rainbow flushed and I could practically see the blue mare fighting back hot-tempered words in my direction, but Twilight leaned over and put a hoof on her forequarters. “Rainbow, like he said, it's just part of his job. Please don’t get into an argument,” her voice was soft, measured, as she spoke.

“But, but…! He just implied that I pressured you into doing this! Twi, that is so totally uncool! I—“ Rainbow said, before Twilight cut her off.

“It was my idea to have the two of us come here.” Twilight said to me, speaking over her marefriend, “Rainbow came to me wanting to know how to better help, so I suggested this, and she agreed. Dr. Hooves, you have my consent to speak about my condition with Rainbow Dash.”

I nodded at Twilight’s words and mentally breathed a sigh of relief. Yes. That was one potential problem off my chest. Rainbow Dash was such a forceful personality I had feared Twilight had only said her marefriend could come to this meeting out of intimidation. Knowing now it was Twilight's idea, and that I had her permission, I was free to speak more frankly. “Very well, Twilight. Just so you know, I will still need you to sign a release form saying that I can tell Rainbow all about this. Give me a minute,” I said, before turning to my desk and opening the cabinet that held all of my forms. “Ah, here we go,” I said, as I pulled out the papers in question. “Just put Rainbow’s name here, and sign here.”

Twilight nodded and took the quill and paper and set to work filling out the form while Rainbow watched with interest.

As soon as she gave me back the paper, and I had checked that it had been filled out correctly, I turned to the reason for the form. “So, Rainbow, what do you actually know about A.C.M.S.?” I asked.

Rainbow shrugged. “I know what it is, but, that’s about it. Twilight gave me a rundown of the symptoms when we first started dating. I don’t know what causes it, or what to do about it.”

“Well,” I put a hoof to my chin and offered lightly, “Would you rather I explain of the causes of A.C.M.S. or just skip straight to Twilight's emergency plan?”

Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “I guess I have been a little curious about why Twilight has it, so, could you tell me the causes first?”

“Sure,” I said before closing my eyes; anything to better organize my thoughts in a way that would make sense to someone lacking the years of medical school training. When I opened my eyes, I set them gently upon Ms. Dash. “This will probably disappoint you, but the causes of Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome are actually hard to pin down. Most scientists today believe there are a variety of genetic and environmental factors that contribute to a pony developing symptoms. Factors which are believed to occur both during, and after, fetal development.”

Rainbow’s eyes had, much to my amusement, glazed over. “So… You mean it's from your parents?” she ventured after a moment, “Does that mean that Twi’s parents have it too?”

“Ah, no,” I said, pausing a moment to think. I couldn't exactly speak for Twilight's parents exactly. I needed to tread lightly, “As far as we can tell, Twilight’s family has no history of mental illness, A.C.M.S. or otherwise. Although having a relative, especially the parents, with it does increase the risk, but it is by no means the only factor, one way or the other.”

“Okay, so then...why does Twi have it?” Rainbow queried me with slightly narrowed eyes. Her head tilted almost imperceptibly to the side and a brow stretching up into her forelock.

“In her case,” I explained, leaning back in my chair casually despite the discomfort of it, “it has more to do with environmental factors. A mother being stressed or malnourished during pregnancy, for example, seems to increase the chances of the child being born with A.C.M.S. More so if the child is born in winter or fall, as opposed to the typical foaling seasons of spring or early summer. Additionally, being raised in an urban environment appears to increase the chances of one having it as well. Keep in mind that there is no way to be certain. Even with all those factors, there is still only a small chance that a pony will be born with A.C.M.S.”

“My mother was very stressed when she was carrying me,” Twilight said, before Rainbow had a chance to respond to my explanation, “Our house was going through a time of difficulty. Mom's last book hadn’t sold very well, and the observatory Dad worked at was downsizing, so they were worried that he might be laid-off. Mom told me that she was struggling with a severe case of writers block at the time as well. Add to that the fact I was born near Hearth’s Warming Eve, and that I was raised in Canterlot…” she trailing off into silence.

She didn't say it, but I had a feeling she was going to add, “It was no wonder I was born with A.C.M.S.” as if it were her destiny... I made a mental note to ask what Twilight thought about her upbringing, parents, and how it was connected to her future later. It was something we could continue to work on in private.

“Oh…” Rainbow said, looking less doubtful now and more at a mere loss for words. “So, umm, it isn’t caused by drugs or anything? I heard that those things can screw with your brain.”

“Actually, it's the other way around,” I noted. “Scientists have discovered that ponies who have A.C.M.S. are, like others who suffer from undiagnosed mental illnesses, are affected by substance abuse approximately fifty percent of the time. Some of it goes into alcoholism, but roughly half of those suffering also have drug addictions. It can make diagnosing these conditions a lot harder, but we tend to think of it as more of a symptom, rather than causality.”

“But Twilight is too cool for that, right?” Rainbow asked, looking to Twilight for confirmation.

“Well, I...” Twilight said, penitently avoiding Rainbow’s gaze. “I did used to have an addiction to salt sticks...”

Rainbow's jaw dropped and I raised an eyebrow. I had known about her past with salt sticks, of course, it had been part of her medical history sent to me by her previous doctor. What surprised me, however, was that she had never ever discussed it in our sessions. I had assumed she was just unwilling to have the subject brought up at the moment. So, for her to so willingly tell Rainbow Dash like that showed just how much she trusted her marefriend. It was a rather remarkable breakthrough in my eyes.

“B-b-but,” Rainbow spluttered, her mouth hung open a moment as if she were completely shell shocked. “You mean the things with nicotine in them? Aren’t those bad for you? And addictive? And illegal? And really, really bad for you?!”

“Well, they aren’t throw-you-in-jail-illegal, but I did have to pay a fine when I got caught. And yes, the chemicals that give them their relaxing qualities do make them addictive and bad for your health,” Twilight said, not yet meeting Rainbow’s eyes.

“But you’re the Princess’ student! How in Equestria did you get away with that?” Rainbow exclaimed.

“I didn’t, not for very long anyway. And when I got caught...Mom, Dad, and Celestia were all furious. They paid my fine, but they took away my allowance and made me pay it off.”

“Allowance? You mean to tell me you were addicted to salt licks when you still had an allowance?! How old were you?” Rainbow asked wide-eyed.

“Um…mid-teens.” Twilight said sheepishly.

“...Wow. Ah, but you aren’t addicted any more, right?”

“Oh, no! I had to go to a rehab center for a little while. It wasn’t pleasant, but I kicked the habit,” Twilight said, a pleased expression flitting across her features.

“Good,” Rainbow said with a nod, still clearly trying to absorb the news.

I cleared my throat, both mares spun to look at me as if they had forgotten I was in the room. I smiled gently. “I think we might have gotten a little off track. So, Ms. Dash, does that answer your questions about the causes behind A.C.M.S.?”

The pegasus shrugged. “Sort of. I mean, it does tell me why it affects her, but I still want to know, um the why of it… er, I mean, not the why so much as the how. No, that’s not right either. Twi, you know what I mean right?” she said pleadingly.

Twilight giggled. “I think what Rainbow is trying to say is that she understands the causes, but wants to know about the mechanisms behind it. Is that about right, Rainbow?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah… I think.”

“Very well,” I said. “We actually know a bit more about what actually causes the abnormal behavior in a sufferer. It has a lot to do with brain chemistry and magic. First of all, it appears that the main chemical that affects sufferers is dopamine. In postmortems, it has been found sufferers of A.C.M.S. have a much greater concentration of D2 receptors in their striatum, but that has been subject to some controversy, and—“

“Whoa, dude, please don’t give me a full lecture,” Rainbow said, cutting me off. “Tell me about the magic side of it. I think I might understand that if you keep it, you know, simple.”

I hesitated. I needed to think of a way to phrase this so that she could understand. “All right, I think I can do that. So, um…how much do you know about how a pony’s brain is structured?”

Rainbow just stared at me in a sort of disbelief, as if to say; “What makes you think I know anything about that!?”

“Okay, bad question. To oversimplify, a lot, every pony of all three races has a magic lobe in their brain. In unicorns, it controls their magic, in Pegasi, it helps with flight, and in Earth ponies it gives them their extra strength and connection to the ground. That’s how it works in a pony without A.C.M.S. Do you follow me so far?”

Rainbow nodded.

“Good. So, in a pony with A.C.M.S. the magic lobe is much larger, sometime by as much as half. However, the membrane that acts as a barrier for the magic within the lobe is underdeveloped at the same time. This causes magic to flow into the brain disrupting the brain’s natural pathways. This, combined with chemical imbalances, causes the symptoms. That’s why dopamine blockers and magic suppressants are so effective in helping ponies with A.C.M.S.”

“Wait, wait, wait! You mean to tell me that Twilight is on magic suppressors? Is that true?” Rainbow asked, turning to Twilight.

“Well, yes,” Twilight said, looking just as puzzled as I felt at Rainbow’s sudden outburst. “Why?”

“You’re the strongest unicorn I know! Maybe the strongest in all of Equestria! And you're telling me that you are this strong when you are on magic suppressors?” Rainbow said, disbelief present in her voice.

“Yep. That’s why it’s so important for me to keep taking my medication. Aside from the withdrawal symptoms, well, just imagine if my ‘want it, need it’ spell had been even more powerful. It might have covered half of Equestria instead of just Ponyville. And that’s just one example! What if I—“ Twilight said, her voice becoming steadily more frantic. She was beginning to hyperventilate as well.

“Twilight. Calm down,” I coaxed, noticing the beginnings of a panic attack. “Please. That won’t happen.”

“But—“

“As long as you are careful, that won’t happen,” I said, firmly, before turning to Rainbow. The poor blue mare was sitting in a fret. “I fear that we have gotten a little off track once again. So, I hope that answered most of your questions. I was oversimplifying quite a bit, but that’s how it works in general.”

Rainbow shook the glazed look out of her magenta eyes. She sat there thinking for a moment or two and looked between myself and Twilight before settling back at me. “There's still one thing I don’t quite get yet. How come it’s called Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome? I thought, well, I thought that the Cutie Mark caused it, but you said it's the brain...?”

“Well, I'll be the first to admit that the name is misleading. In fact, I think that the only reason it hasn’t been renamed is out of pure habit. It’s been known as A.C.M.S. for so long, it would be hard to change.” I thought briefly of just how many textbooks and medical guides would have to be revised... Not that they didn't as new information surfaced, but still. “As for the reason why it was named that, how much do you know about Cutie Marks?”

“Um…” She looked over to Twilight questioningly. When the purple unicorn merely nodded, apparently not realizing her marefriend wanted help, Rainbow turned back to me. “I know that Cutie Marks are caused by a surge in a pony’s magic when they realize what their special talent is—Oh!”

“I think you understand now,” I said with a warm smile, “The fact the magic lobe is bigger and the brain is not as protected from the magic as it should be, causes ponies with A.C.M.S. to go a little haywire when experiencing a jolt of magic. In essence, it could be compared to a seizure. So when a pony realizes their special talent, that extra burst of magic results in, well, an abstract Cutie Mark.”

The three of us glanced at Twilight's mark.

“Keep in mind,” I continued, “that is not the only way a Cutie Mark can become abstract, as there are just some talents that don't have anything definite to symbolize them.”

“Oh, and that magic surge is often what causes the first episode in a pony’s life! Mine literally happened the night after I earned my mark,” Twilight added, eager to help educate Rainbow Dash.

“Okay, I think I know more than enough about it now,” Rainbow said, rubbing the back of her neck as if to aid in the removal of a headache. “What I want to know about now is how I can help Twilight deal with it. After all, it's why we came here together in the first place.”

“True,” I said. “Twilight’s emergency plan is actually quite simple. All you really need to do is contact Celestia, and possibly use a magic suppression stone if Twilight’s magic is acting up.”

“Really?” Rainbow asked, looking a little disappointed. “I was expecting some sort of, like, huge checklist. You know, like the ones Twilight makes when she goes shopping.”

“Rainbow!” Twilight blushed with mild indignation.

“Yes,” I chuckled a bit. “Simple, is it not?”

“I guess. So, why is contacting Celestia so important?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, she is like a mother figure to me, so that should help me calm down some,” Twilight said. “But… well, the real reason is that she is one of the only ponies out there that could actually stop me forcibly, considering how strong I am.”

“Oh, I see what you are saying,” Rainbow said. “So, just contact Celestia, and use a magic suppression stone.” She paused, “What’s a magic suppression stone?”

I twitched slightly, resisting the urge to face-hoof. How could she not know what one of those were just based on the name alone? I was about to say something, when Twilight began to speak.

“Basically, a magic suppression stone is a lot of anti-magic dust compacted into an easily crushable stone. When it is crushed, it turns back into the dust, causing all ponies caught in the radius to lose their magic. I wouldn’t be able to cast spells, and you wouldn’t be able to fly. Anti-magic is rare, so it's hard to make the stones. It makes them very expensive, but having one is a basic part of living with something like this,” she said. “I have a small one in my nightstand, and Spike knows where it is, just in case.”

“Right, so use the stone, and let Princess Celestia know what is going on,” Rainbow said, more to herself than to us. She looked up after a moment. “What if I can’t get ahold of her?”

“That…that is actually a good question,” I said, but quickly worked out a solution. “What you need to do in that case is keep Twilight calm, and take her to the guard station. They could put a magic suppressor on her horn, and keep her until you can contact Celestia.”

“I understand,” Rainbow said, but she looked a little overwhelmed. I couldn’t blame her. Relying on the Princess like that wasn’t exactly a perfect plan, but it was the only one we had. With Twilight’s strength, the normal guards wouldn’t be able to help much, and trying to keep somepony in a fit of paranoia calm was like trying to get a cat to obey you: not much fun and almost impossible.

I resolved to come up with a better solution than just contacting Celestia and using a magic suppression stone. If not today, then I could discuss it with Twilight next week.

I started to say something, but whatever I was about to say was struck from my mind when I noticed Twilight chewing on her lip with her ears flat against her head. “Is something wrong, Twilight?”

“Sorry, Doctor. This is just a little weird for me. Talking about what to do with me if I’m not in my right mind…it never really feels natural.”

“I understand. I'm sorry this made you feel uncomfortable,” I tried to add a little more warmth to my voice to ease the tension.

“It’s nothing,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “It was necessary.”

I nodded, and silence fell over the room.

After a minute or two, Rainbow began fidgeting. She obviously wasn’t used to just sitting and talking. Now that I thought about it, this might have been the longest I ever saw her on the ground. Luckily, the conversation had taken up more time than I had originally expected, and it was almost time for our session to end. I found myself relieved that Rainbow would soon be out of my office and back in the sky.

Now that I thought about it, I wonder if she has claustrophobia? Well, unless she decided to confide in me about it, it wasn’t really any of my business.

“Twilight,” I called and the mare in question started a little. Huh, she must have been deep in thought. “Our time is almost up today. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“Not really, no,” Twilight said, taking a surprised look at the clock. “I haven’t been having any symptoms this week either, but I do need a refill on my meds, so…”

“Give me a minute and I will write up a prescription for you. You have not been having any symptoms, so I assume that you want to keep your dosage at the same amount?” I asked.

“That’s right.”

For the next thirty seconds or so, the only sound in the room was the scratching of my quill against the prescription pad. The thirty seconds after that were completely silent as I checked and double checked what I had written. At last I broke the silence as I ripped the paper off the pad and handed it to Twilight, “Here you go.”

Rainbow had watched the whole exchange with interest. “That’s it?!” she said, “I thought that it would be more of a process than that. I mean, don’t you need to know if she has any bad reactions to the meds? That sounds like the sort of thing that a doctor should ask about.”

“I did. I did the first time, the time after that, and every time we change up medication. We have found a dose that works well for Twilight, and I trust her to tell me if any of the side effects flare up. That way, I do not need to play twenty questions with her at the end of every session,” I said, feeling just a tad bit annoyed that Rainbow of all ponies was trying to lecture me on how to do my job.

Thankfully, Rainbow just nodded instead of fighting back.

“Thank you, doctor. See you next week?” Twilight Sparkle asked as the two ponies rose from their respective seats and headed toward the waiting room.

“I will be here. Just...Twilight,” I said, “next time you want to bring somepony along, please let me know ahead of time.” Twilight nodded, and as she and Rainbow Dash exited my office.

I turned then to my never-ending pile of paperwork.

Rainbow Dash 6

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My head was still spinning when we walked out of Doctor Hooves’ office. I felt like I had just been thrown back into flight school for a class, except this time everything I learned actually affected my life. I mean, c’mon, when was a weather pony like me actually going to need to know about ancient pony society?

Anyways… I stole a glance at Twilight. I couldn’t decide what had startled me most, the fact that Twilight was one of the most magical unicorns in Equestria while on magic suppressors, or that she used to be addicted to salt sticks.

“Rainbow? Are you alright?” Twilight asked, looking at me with a concerned look on her face.

“Um…” I said, shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts cluttering it up. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I know that it was a lot to take in at once. And you were kind of looking at me funny. Wait, I don’t have something stuck on my face, do I?” Twilight said, trying to catch a look at her reflection in one of the windows one a nearby store.

“No, no, your face is beautiful,” I said without thinking. It was only when Twilight gasped and blushed that I replayed the words in my head and realized what I had said. “That—that’s not to say that the rest of you isn’t beautiful! I just think that your face is extra awesome right now!”

By this point, Twilight’s face was deep red, and judging from the heat in my cheeks, I wasn’t much better. “T—thank you, Rainbow, your face is awesome too,” Twilight said, sounding very awkward.

“C-cool.” Great, now both of us were just standing there blushing like a couple of dorks. “So, Twi, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” I asked, trying to get my heart rate back under control.

“Well, I need to go by the drug store and pick up my prescription. After that, well, I don’t really have anything planned out,” Twilight said, gesturing towards the middle of town.

“Is the drug store anywhere near Bon Bon’s?”

Twilight tilted her head in puzzlement. “No, not really, but if you were heading towards her shop, then you would pass by the pharmacy. I guess you could say that it’s on the way to Bon Bon’s. Why?”

“Well…” I rubbed the back of my head. “I sort of ran into her in town the other day, and kind of agreed to help her out in the shop as a way of repaying all that candy that I ruined when I crashed into her store.”

“Didn’t that happen quite a while ago?” Twilight asked. “Why would you start helping her now? That’s a little unlike you.”

“Well, I ran into her the other day while I was clearing the sky, and—wait a minute, what do you mean that’s unlike me? Are you implying that I don’t help ponies out when I mess up?” I said, fuming a little.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “No, no! I just meant that you tend to fly off quickly whenever you feel like you messed up!” She winced. “No, that’s not right either. I just mean that you… um… I’m sorry!”

“Just… just forget it. C’mon, let’s go to the drug store,” I said, feeling insulted, but not wanting to press the issue more.

The walk to the pharmacy was completely silent, with Twilight shooting me nervous glances the whole time. I just let her stew in it for a little. I know that was mean of me, but I was feeling hurt by what she had said. I mean, I know I have a bad habit of not being as considerate as I should be, but Twilight should have been more understanding and tactful! She is my marefriend after all!

…my marefriend with a problem that keeps her from realizing when she is being socially insensitive…

That shouldn’t matter! She should just try harder! Yeah!

I nearly facehoofed. In light of everything I just learned, I was thinking about telling her to just get over it? Yeah, that would go well. Twilight, I know your brain is different on a basic level and that causes you many problems, but can’t you just try harder and act normal?

“I’m sorry,” I said, at the exact same time Twilight said “I apologize.”

We stared at each other for a moment before we both burst out laughing. “Strange minds think alike, I guess,” I said, before flinching at my poor choice of words.

Luckily, Twilight didn’t seem to notice. “I’m sorry about insulting you,” she said. “I know you are working on being more considerate, and I shouldn’t have made light of that. But, I’m curious. What were you apologizing for? I was the one in the wrong.”

“Oh, I was just thinking some mean things, but then I realized how much of a jerk I was being in my own head, and, you know, I just didn’t want to keep feeling like a jerk. So, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, apology accepted, Rainbow,” Twilight said with a smile. “Ah, were here!”

I looked up at the big Rx symbol painted on the building. I had been in the building before, of course. Admittedly, most of the time it was for candy, but I had been the one to pick up Scootaloo’s medicine when she was down with the feather flu.

“So, what do you want to do, Twilight? I’ve got to get to Bon Bon’s soon, so do you want to just meet up again tomorrow? We could get lunch at the café,” I said.

“Well,” Twilight said, peering into the store, “it looks like the line isn’t too long. I could drop off my prescription, and since it take them about a half hour to get it ready, I could follow you to Bon Bon’s and get myself a snack before coming back here. Does that sound good to you?”

“Sure thing, Twi.”

Twilight just nodded and entered the store. I watched her as she stood in line.

I gotta say, this relationship hasn’t been anything like I expected. Before I had worked up the courage to ask Twilight out on a date, I had this image in my head of us just frolicking in some sort of meadow with everything being sunshine and rainbows.

That was probably the most unrealistic expectation I had ever had. Even if Twilight had been a normal pony, we were still adults, with responsibilities. We didn’t have time to just stand around staring into each other’s eyes, like we had drank some love potion.

But Twilight wasn’t a normal pony. I don’t mean that she had A.C.M.S. I mean that she was a brilliant and beautiful mare that sometimes didn’t give herself enough credit. She was sweet and immensely caring. If she managed to pick up that something was bugging somepony, she wouldn’t rest until she had fixed the problem. Whenever we had a problem that was bigger in scale than the rest of us could handle, she would gladly step up to the plate and lead us all through the fire and flames and get us all out alive. Heck, more than alive: we would be victorious!

In short, Twilight was far from a normal mare, and her A.C.M.S. didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.

I wouldn’t trade this relationship for all the meadow frolicking in the world.

“Dang it, Twi, you’re making me all sappy,” I said out loud, wiping a tear from my eye.

“I’m… sorry about that?”

“Gah!” I jumped about ten feet in the air. “Twilight, don’t, don’t scare me like that!”

“How could I have scared you? You were watching me walk up to you the whole time… I didn’t actually cast an invisibility spell on myself again, did I?” Twilight asked, spinning in circles to try and catch a glimpse of herself.

“No, no, I was just thinking,” I said. “Wait, again? You mean you have actually cast an invisibility spell on yourself… by accident? That sounds like a story.”

Twilight just laughed. “It’s actually quite simple, you see—“

“Oh, hello again. It’s a pleasure to see you here, little miss perfect. Oh, and look! You brought along your pity date!”

Twilight and I whirled around at the sound of the familiar and smug voice.

Blood Work was standing there, the same haughty look on her face as the last time we saw her.

“Oh, hello, Blood Work. How are you today?” Twilight asked, her tone pleasant.

The other unicorn looked surprised at the seemingly genuine greeting. “I’m…um, well I’m doing better than you are!” she said.

I had to bite my hoof to keep from laughing at the lameness of her response.

“That’s good to hear, Blood Work. Do you prefer to go by Blood, or Work, or maybe your full name?” Twilight asked, sounding honestly curious.

“Um, most ponies call me Blood…”

“Great!” Twilight exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. “Rainbow and I were just headed to Bon Bon’s candy shop. Would you like to come with us, Blood?”

I stared at Twilight in horror. Did she really think that inviting this smug jerk along would be anything other than pure torture?

Blood Work’s face scrunched up, as if she had just caught a particularly disgusting smell. “No! And you don’t get to call me that. Only my friends call me that!”

“We’re… we’re not friends?” Suddenly Twilight looked like she was about to cry.

The red unicorn apparently had no idea what to say to that. She just stood there, looking puzzled.

“C’mon, Blood! I really want a friend that I can discuss my theories with. Somepony as smart as you would be able to keep up with what I’m saying!” Twilight said, pleadingly.

You know, I would have been more insulted at the way she implied that I couldn’t keep up with her when she started talking about her research, but… it was true.

Blood Work’s face suddenly transformed into a snarl. “What did you just say?” she practically spat at Twilight. “Why don’t you come down out of your ivory tower? ‘As smart as you?’ I’m smarter than you, and you know it!”

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but apparently Blood Work wasn’t finished talking yet. “And I don’t know what is with the whole ‘I want to be friends’ act, but stop it! I am not, and never will be, your friend!” she yelled, advancing on Twilight.

“Okay, enough is enough!” I said, quickly putting myself between the two of them. “I don’t know what your deal is, Blood Work, but you better back off.”

“And some thick-skulled pegasus is going to stop me? Don’t make me laugh,” she said, looking furious.

I cracked my neck as threateningly as I could. “You better believe I will, if you take one more step towards Twilight.”

That seemed to actually get through to her. “Fine, but Just remember, I will be the one to get the Canterlot Charity Society grant! Not you, Twilight!” she said.

“Right, because your track record sure backs that up, Miss Second Place,” I said, not wanting her to get the last word.

Wow, if looks could kill, I think I would have been buried on the spot.

“C’mon, Twi, we need to get going if I’m gonna make it to Bon Bon’s on time,” I said, not taking my eyes off of Blood Work as she turned and walked into the drug store, patting one of the pockets on her vest.

“Okay, let’s go, Rainbow.”

I waited until I was sure that we were out of earshot of the store before I turned to Twilight. “All right, Twi, you have got to tell me… were you actually being serious about being her friend? Because I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

Twilight shrugged. “Well, that was part of it. I felt that it was best to put the offer on the table, just in case she was acting mean because she was lonely. Hopefully, she will think about what I said, and I might get a new friend out of it.”

“That does sound like something you would do. But you said that was part of it… what’s the other part?”

“Well…” Twilight said, looking away from me. “If she didn’t want to be my friend, Lyra warned me that acting that way would infuriate her, and after she called you a ‘pity date’ I, well, I wanted revenge, so to speak.”

I laughed. “Well, that’s not the way I would have done it, but I guess you showed her!”

“Oh? And what way would you have done it?”

“A hoof to the face!” I said, gesturing a bit more forcefully than I had meant to, nearly knocking myself over.

“Rainbow!” Twilight exclaimed, looking horrified. “Violence is never the answer! You can’t just go around hitting ponies!”

“Don’t worry, I only hit ponies that really deserve it,” I said dismissively.

Twilight stared at me in horror.

“That was a joke,” I clarified.

That seemed to calm her down, and we continued on our way to the candy store. We were almost there when a thought occurred to me.

“Hey, Twilight? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course!” she said, smiling.

“When we were back at the doctor’s office, you said that you didn’t have any symptoms this week. What about that night when you woke up crying?” I asked.

Twilight’s ears went flat against her head, and she forced a laugh. “Oh, that wasn’t a symptom! It was just a bad dream, nothing to bother him about!”

“Isn’t it his job to be bothered about things like that?”

“Well, yes…”

“Look, I don’t mean to pry, but if you have nightmares like that sometimes, wouldn’t he be the best pony to help you with them?”

“I guess…”

“Twilight,” I said, grabbing her chin gently and turning her to face me. “Like I said, I don’t mean to pry, but I would feel better knowing that you talked about that with him. Okay?”

Twilight nodded. “I know. It’s silly of me to hide things from my doctor. Actually, scratch that, it’s actually dangerous to hide things from your doctor. I’ll talk to him next time.”

I nodded, then stopped dead in my tracks. I had nearly walked right by the large sign saying Candy and Cookies.

“We’re here, I guess. You want to come in with me?” I asked.

“No, I better get back to the pharmacy. They should have my prescription ready by the time I get back. I do have enough for another few weeks, but it would be rude to keep them waiting.” Twilight said.

“Oh. Why do you have so much extra?”

“Well, it’s just in case of emergencies. That way if Doctor Hooves goes out of town for a while, I’ll still be set.”

“Oh. I guess you better get going then.”

“Sorry,” Twilight said. “When do you expect to finish helping Bon Bon?”

“The deal is that I work from 2 to 11 for a week, then we call it even. So… not until late,” I said with a groan.

“Really? What about your weather duties?”

“That’s what the morning is for. Do my weather work in the morning, take a nap, then work for her.”

“But… but…” Twilight stuttered, looking rather put out. “When will we have time to be together?”

I grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, about that…”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “You… you aren’t…” she paused for a moment, before taking a big gulp of air and closing her eyes. “No. You are not breaking up with me. In fact, you don’t even want to spend the time away from me, but circumstances have forced your hoof.” She cracked open an eye. “Right?”

I nodded, relived that I wouldn’t have to reassure her again. “Listen, it’s only for a week. We can hang out plenty next week,” I said.

“That sounds good. I’ll miss you though. It’s been kind of nice to have somepony that I can talk to about my A.C.M.S. openly.”

“You know…” I said, before pausing to think about how to best phrase this. “If you told more ponies, then you would have more ponies to be open with. It’s just a suggestion!” I added hastily.

“You know, if you had said that a few weeks ago, I would have shot you down immediately. But…”

“But…” I prompted, motioning with my hoof for her to continue.

“Like I said, it’s been nice not having to hide this secret from you. I still don’t want to shout it from the rooftops, but telling our
friends… I’ll think about it.” Twilight said.

“Of course I don’t want you to tell random ponies off the street, you silly filly. It’s fully your business who you want to tell.” I said, happy that she was at least considering it.

“I’ll need to talk this over with Doctor Hooves, you know. Not that I need his permission or anything, but he could help me figure out what to say. I’ll bring it up at our next session.”

“Sounds good, Twilight,” I said, looking into her eyes. She gazed back into mine, a goofy smile on her face. I shouldn’t really talk, though, cause I’m pretty sure I had the same expression on my face.

“Hey! Lovebirds!”

Twilight and I spun around to find Bon Bon staring at us. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but its a few minutes past two! That means you’re late, Rainbow Dash! Now get in here, before I make you work an extra day!” she said, before turning and heading back into her shop.

“Sorry, Twi, I’ve got to go!” I said, rushing into the shop. The last thing I wanted was to spend an extra day at the candy shop.

“That’s all right, I need to go pick up my prescription,” Twilight called after me.

“Okay, I’m here! What do you need me to do?” I asked Bon Bon as I stepped around the counter of the shop.

Bon Bon just grinned. “Let’s get started, oh assistant of mine,” she said, with a gleam in her eye that could only be called predatory. “My normal worker is out of town for the week, so I need you to pick up the slack.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. What had I gotten myself into?

Doctor Hooves 6

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Twilight was chewing her lip as she walked into my office and took her seat.

“How are you today, Twilight?” I asked.

“Just fine, Doctor,” she said, shooting me a glance and then looking away just as quickly. She fidgeted in her seat before shooting me another glance.

I had seen this kind of behavior before. She often acted like this when she needed to tell about something that made her nervous, like a new symptom.

I waited, hoping that she would speak first, but she just continued to squirm in her seat. After a few minutes, I decided to break the silence.

“Twilight, what is on your mind?” I asked, as gently as possible.

Twilight gave me another glance, then took a deep breath and stopped fidgeting. “Well, I… I had a bad dream.”

I have to admit, I was a little surprised. We had discussed her dreams many times before, and she had never acted this nervous before. Still, I had a job to do. I pushed the confusion out of my mind and thought about what to say next.

“I see,” I said carefully. “You seem very upset about this dream. Is there any particular reason why?”

“It’s not so much about the content of the dream but… well… I had it over a week ago! I didn’t tell you last time! I’m really sorry! I know it was silly of me not to tell you about it last week, but I just couldn’t!” Twilight exclaimed, looking very upset.

Oh, now I understand. She wasn’t acting nervous because of a symptom, but because she felt like she had lied to me
“It is alright, Twilight,” I said. “Out of curiosity, why didn’t you tell me about it last week? Was it because Rainbow Dash was here?”

She nodded. “Yes. I know it was kind of stupid of me, especially considering that she already knew about the dream, but I just couldn’t bring it up in front of her. I don’t like to watch her worry about me.”

“That’s understandable. You care for her deeply, and don’t want to cause her pain,” I said.

“Yes,” Twilight said, as she nodded her head.

“Well then, I have some questions about the dream. First and foremost, what was it about?” I asked.

“Well, it was that old one about the asylum. You know, the one where I never became Celestia’s student, and I never moved to Ponyville or saved Equestria. And everypony just tells me that I was hallucinating everything,” Twilight explained.

“Oh, that one again. How did you react to it?”

Twilight looked away from me and blushed. “Not… not well. I woke up in a panic. I’m just glad that Rainbow was there that night.”

I raised an eyebrow. Their relationship had already progressed that far? To be honest, I had expected Twilight to take everything very slow when it came to sex. But if she felt ready…

“So what I did,” Twilight continued, oblivious to my worry, “was head to the room where Rainbow was staying…”

I nearly burst out laughing. Of course. I should have known. There was no way that Twilight would take such a big step without consulting everypony she could get her hooves on.

Still, I did not actually say anything. I did not want to interrupt Twilight, and laughing at her would have been very damaging to the trust that we had built between us.

“Doctor? Doctor Hooves? Are you okay?”

I snapped out of my thoughts to find Twilight looking at me worriedly. Had I actually just spaced out on one of my clients? I had never done such a thing before!

“Yes, Twilight, I am fine. I was just thinking about something. Please, continue,” I said, wanting to get the conversation back on track.

“All right,” Twilight said, looking at me a bit oddly. “Anyways, I went to my guest room, and I woke Rainbow up. She got so worried about my, and I can’t really blame her. I was crying, and I think I asked her if she was real. I don’t really remember…”

“I see. And what did Rainbow do?”

“This I remember! She gave me a great big hug,” Twilight said, smiling widely and blushing a little, “and she kept on telling me that she and all my friends were real. Eventually, I fell asleep in her forelegs.”

“What did you do when you woke up?” I asked.

“Well, I woke up before Rainbow did, and I wanted to show my appreciation for what she had done for me, so I got Spike and decided to make her breakfast in bed. She woke up before I could actually bring it up to her. Then we talked a little about what had happened, and she hugged me again, and told me to find her if I ever felt that way again.”

“I see,” I said, collecting my thoughts. “That makes me happy to hear that she would do that for you. Not that I thought that she would not try to help you, but I am glad that she was able to show you that pony to pony.”

“It made me happy too when I thought about it later,” Twilight said, beaming.

“Now, about the dream itself. Unless I am mistaken, you have not had that dream for quite some time. Or any nightmares of that caliber, now that I think about it.”

Twilight simply nodded in response.

“And you have not had it since?”

Twilight shook her head.

“Then I believe that it was just an anxiety dream. You did just enter a relationship, something that you have had no prior experience with, so it is only natural that you have some fears about it. Most likely, you had that particular dream because you are afraid of losing what you have with Rainbow Dash.”

“Okay, that does seem to make sense,” Twilight said, getting the faraway look in her eyes that she always got when thinking intensely about something. “Also, I think that I had that one because I told her about my A.C.M.S. and it was on my mind.”

“That is certainly possible,” I said, nodding. “Now, seeing as you have not mentioned any other nightmare, am I correct in assuming that this was an isolated incident?”

“Yeah. At least, I don’t think so,” Twilight amended. “I haven’t woken up like that since, but I don’t actually recall my dreams, so it’s possible that I had another nightmare and just didn’t realize it.”

“As so long as they do not affect you as strongly as that one, I think it will be fine. But if they do become a reoccurring thing, let me know so we can do something about them.”

“Sure thing, Doctor. I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you about this last time,” Twilight said, looking embarrassed.

I smiled. “No need to apologize. We had other things on our minds last session.”

Twilight nodded to this, and then the room fell into silence.

My mind drifted back to my earlier thoughts. Was Twilight ready for that kind of intimacy, or had she even thought about it? After the meeting with Rainbow last week, I felt somewhat comfortable in saying that Rainbow did not want to push Twilight out of her comfort zone too fast, but still… sex is a part of any romantic relationship.

Scratch that, sex is a part of most romantic relationships. I had read about an asexual couple who loved each other dearly, but didn’t care for the sexual aspects of their relationship. I didn’t think that was the case here, though. Twilight had mentioned finding mares physically attractive, and Rainbow was obviously attracted to Twilight.

I should probably ask Twilight if she even thought about taking their relationship to the next level. I just needed to come up with a tactful way of—

“I’ve been thinking about telling the rest of my friends that I have A.C.M.S.” Twilight said suddenly, scattering my thoughts to the four winds.

“Oh, um… really?” Way to go, Hooves, maintain that air of professionalism.

“Yeah, I was talking to Rainbow about it the other day, and she sort of suggested that maybe I tell our friends about it,” Twilight said.

“Ah… Before we continue any further, I need to ask you one thing. Did she in anyway pressure you into this?” I asked, concerned.

“Oh, no! It wasn’t anything like that!” Twilight exclaimed, waving her hooves frantically. “I just mentioned that it felt nice to be completely open with somepony about that big part of my life, and Rainbow just pointed out that if I told my friends, then I would have more ponies to be open with! Even then, she was very adamant that it was only a suggestion, and she hasn’t brought it up since… not that I’ve seen her since…”

“Wait, you have not seen her since? Why?” I asked, hoping that their relationship hadn’t hit rocky patches already. Rainbow may be… impulsive sometimes, but Twilight had been so much happier since that had started dating.

“Oh, between weather duties and helping out at Bon Bon’s shop, she’s been too busy to do anything but sleep in her time off. I miss her, but she needed to do this.”

“Oh, okay…” I said, my worries banished for now. “Back to the subject at hand. How many ponies do you want to tell?”

“Just my other four friends. You know, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack. I don’t really want to tell anypony else,” Twilight said.

“I had assumed those were the ponies you wanted to talk to, but I just wanted to be sure. Now then, you said you were thinking about it, was there anything that you were nervous about?” I asked, pretty sure that I already knew the answer.

“Yeah, I’m worried that they might not take me seriously or even… even…” Twilight was struggling to hold back tears now.

“You are worried that they might reject you and stop being your friend because of this,” I said as gently as possible.

Twilight just nodded, sniffling a little.

I sighed. “This is going to sound a little callous, but if that happens, let them—“

“WHAT? But that’s, I can’t, how could you even—“ Twilight began, but I cut her off.

“I don’t actually think that would happen, but look at it this way. If they reject you because of this, then they were not really your friend in the first place, right?”

“But the Elements of Harmony—“

“Show us that this is very unlikely to happen,” I said, interrupting her once more.

Twilight fell silent.

After a few minutes, I felt the need to speak up. “Could you tell me what you are thinking, Twilight?”

Twilight opened her mouth, then closed it. Silence fell over my room for at least another minute.

Finally, Twilight spoke. “I’m going to do it. I think that telling them would be a good step forwards in my life. It would also help Rainbow and Spike stop worrying about me all the time, right?”

“Twilight,” I said sternly, “I want you to do this for yourself, not because anypony else would benefit from it, or pressured you into it.”

“I know, Doctor. The fact that Rainbow and Spike would benefit from this would be a bonus. I’m just sick of hiding things from my friends. I didn’t even realize that until I told Rainbow.”

“As so long as you feel ready, Twilight. It is a big step,” I said.

“I know. I plan on having Rainbow with me for moral support.”

“That is probably wise.”

Twilight glanced at the clock. “Anyways, do you mind if I leave a little early? I’m supposed to have dinner with Rainbow tonight to celebrate her finishing her time at Bon Bon’s shop, and I want to help Spike make it.”

I glanced at the clock myself. “That is fine. Our time was almost up anyways. I assume you haven’t had any symptoms this week?”

“Nope, none at all. See you next week, Doctor!” Twilight said, and then walked out of my office as I turned to my eternal pile of paperwork.

Rainbow Dash 7

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“Whatever you do, don’t let me chicken out,” Twilight said glancing at the entrance to the boutique and dancing from hoof to hoof.

“Sure thing, Twi, but are we actually going to go in sometime? It feels like we’ve been standing out here for hours,” I said.

“It can’t have been more than five minutes!” Twilight exclaimed, before shooting a glance at the clock tower. “Or not. Still, fifteen minutes is a lot shorter than hours.”

“Still longer than I like to be standing around doing nothing,” I said, struggling to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

“That’s only because you are a very active mare. Oh! I wonder if I could find some way of measuring the way time passes for each pony! Maybe if I took a brain scan as they were doing some activity that they enjoyed and compared it to—“

My patience snapped. “That’s it! No more stalling!” I all but yelled, before marching up to door and knocking on it loudly.

Twilight let out a noise that was half way between a whimper and a squeak. I probably would have found it cute, if I hadn’t been so peeved at all the false starts that we had.

It had been three days since I had stopped working at Bon Bon’s shop. The first day off I had spent just lounging around the library, keeping Twilight company as she worked on her project. Eventually, as I was just about to head home, Twilight had told me that she had wanted to tell our friends about A.C.M.S., and that she wanted me to come with her to help her. I had agreed.

I wasn’t sure how much help I would be with explaining the details, but I thought that Twilight just wanted me to tag along for support. Not that I minded.

The day after that, Twilight and I had met up in the morning to get breakfast before heading out to talk to our friends. Twilight wanted to visit Rarity first, then Pinkie, as they lived in Ponyville itself, before working out way out to the outskirts of town to stop by Fluttershy's, then Applejack's.

The biggest problem with that plan, however, was Twilight herself. Every time she began to go to Rarity’s house, she would find some other thing to do. If it wasn’t stocking up on quills, it was making sure that she had enough scrolls for her project. No matter how hard I tried to talk to her, she would put talking to Rarity off for another hour, and then another, until the sun was starting to set.

It was maddening, and I told her so. I made her promise that she wouldn’t do anything like that today, and she had mostly kept to her word.

Or she did, at least until we arrived at Rarity’s. Then she just sort of froze up, and made us stand around the front door. Luckily, that same reluctance to move seemed to be sticking around, considering that she hadn’t bolted when I knocked on the door.

“Welcome to the—Oh! Rainbow, Twilight! How good to see you!” Rarity beamed at us as she opened the door. “What’s the occasion?”

“Hey, Rarity, could we come in? We need to talk to you,” I said, glancing back at Twilight. Maybe she had- nope, still frozen in place.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Why, Rainbow, when you phrase it like that, it make me rather nervous. What’s wrong?”

“We’ll talk about it inside,” I said, waving for Twilight to follow us inside. She glanced at me, pale underneath her fur, but nodded and trotted after us.

As soon as we were seated at Rarity’s kitchen table, she turned to us with a worried expression on her face. “Now, darlings, tell me, what has gotten you both so serious? Especially you, Twilight.”

Twilight jumped at the sound of her name. “Oh, what? Um… b—before we tell you anything, you have to promise that none of this leaves the room, no matter what!”

Rarity frowned. “Very well, I promise.”

“Pinkie Promise?” Twilight asked, her voice shaking.

Rarity’s frown grew even more pronounced, but she did the familiar motions. “Now, dears, please, tell me what’s going on?”

“Wait,” I said, “Is Sweetie Belle home? This isn’t really something you would want her to overhear.”

Rarity shook her head. “No, she’s at our parents.”

“Okay, good. Go ahead Twi,” I said.

“I--- um… I…” Twilight stuttered, now shaking slightly in addition to being pale.

I leaned over to whisper into her ear. “You don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No, I have to now,” Twilight whispered back.

“Then what’s going on? You didn’t have this much trouble telling me.”

“I had a whole week to prepare! Telling you wasn’t this spur of the moment!”

“Twilight, Rainbow,” Rarity said, interrupting our conversation, “I do believe I know what it is you are trying to say.”

“You do!?” Twilight and I yelled at the same time.

“Yes, and I must say that I am flattered, but unfortunately I must decline,” Rarity said, a sad look in her eyes.

“You decline…? You decline what?” Twilight asked, while I was still trying to restart my brain.

“I am so sorry, my dear, but I am not attracted to mares in the least, nor do I wish to enter a polygamous relationship. My shining prince will me mine alone, and I, his!” Rarity said with a dramatic flourish.

Twilight facehoofed, and I finally got my brain communicating with my mouth again. “We are not asking you to join our relationship! By Celestia, Rarity, how did you even come up with such an idea?” I said, a little louder than I meant to.

“Oh, um… I may have been reading some novels…” Rarity said, blushing.

“Let me guess. That new romance series set in ancient Equestria? The one where the three princes fall in love with each other?” Twilight said, smirking a little.

“I will neither confirm nor deny anything,” Rarity said, muzzle in the air, but the stuck up effect was ruined by her good spirited grin. “In any case, darlings, I may have jumped to a conclusion, but still, something serious is obviously going on, and I would like to help in any way that I can.”

“Thank you Rarity, that means a lot to both of us,” Twilight said. She took a deep breath and held it for a second or two before releasing it slowly. “It’s… um, about me… Tell me, Rarity, have you ever heard of Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome? It is more commonly referred to as A.C.M.S.”

Rarity’s eyes flickered to the ceiling for a moment and she tapped her chin. “No, I cannot say that I have. I take it you are afflicted with this… syndrome?” she asked, looking at Twilight worriedly.

Twilight nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is it… well, what is it?” Rarity asked.

“It’s a mental illness,” Twilight said simply. “I’ve been hiding it from you girls for long enough, and I felt that it was time to come clean. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I just didn’t feel ready.”

Rarity look at Twilight with a compassionate expression on her face. “Darling, I completely understand why you didn’t feel like coming to us with this until now. It is a rather personal part of your life. I also understand why you made me Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony. I do have a reputation as a gossip, though completely undeserved—“

I almost stopped myself from snorting in laughter. Almost.

“Very well, a mostly undeserved reputation,” Rarity continued, pointedly not looking at me. “Still, I am quite touched that you have come to me with this. Thank you, Twilight.”

“No, No, thank you, Rarity. I was so worried about one of you girls rejecting me, I almost didn’t sleep at all last night.” Twilight said with a laugh.

“No, I would never! None of us would ever reject you for something like this!” Rarity said, sweeping Twi up into a hug.

After a period of time that was entirely too long for somepony else to be hugging my marefriend, I coughed. Rarity and Twilight both jumped at the sound, separating and looking at me. “This is nice and all, but do you have any actual questions about A.C.M.S., Rarity?” I asked. “After all, you don’t really know anything about it.”

Rarity glared at me, but Twilight turned to her and said “That’s actually right, Rarity. You see Rarity A.C.M.S. has a variety of symptoms, including but not limited to—“

“Stop!” Rarity shouted. Twilight and I both looked at her shocked. “Just, stop, Twilight. I know you in particular feel that more knowledge is always a good thing, but I’m not as sure of that. I don’t really need to know every single minute detail of this to still be your friend, now do I?” She smiled sadly. “As you both know, I am somewhat of a hypochondriac, and I fear that if I knew the intricacies of this… syndrome… I would never stop jumping at shadows when I’m around you. Just…just tell me what to look for in the worst case scenario.”

Twilight looked taken back, and I was trying to decide if I should be mad or not. “All right, Rarity,” Twilight said, "do you remember the smartypants incident?”

“Ah, so I should be on the lookout for more behavior like that?” Rarity asked.

Twilight simply nodded.

“Good to know. Remember, Twilight, this doesn’t change a thing between us. Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” Rarity asked, with a smile so strained that a foal could tell how fake it was.

“Not really, Rarity. I, um, we still need to talk to the rest of our friends, so we should get going,” Twilight said, then got up and headed to the door. I hurried to follow her.

“See you later, Rarity,” I said, keeping my voice as neutral as possible.

Once we got outside, Twilight turned to me, looking puzzled. “Should I… should I be offended by that?”

“I don’t really know. I… well, do you think she was telling the truth about being such a drama queen that she would always think you were on the verge of another… another whatever?” I asked, just as confused as Twilight seemed.

“When I think about it, it does seem to make sense. Rarity is prone to overreacting. I wouldn’t want her to be too uncomfortable around me. Still…” Twilight trailed off.

I shrugged. “I guess talking about some things just makes some ponies squeamish. Next time we should ask about how much they want to know.”

Twilight froze. “Oh, Celestia! I didn’t even think about that! Instead of thinking about how Rarity would react, I just went straight up to her and shoved this in her face! Oh, no wonder she reacted like that! I cannot believe how rude I must have—“

“Whoa, Twilight, calm down,” I interrupted, wanting to stop the oncoming panic attack. “Let’s just accept that the both of you are at fault. You could always talk to her later and apologize, if you feel that you really need to.”

“Right, you’re right,” Twilight said, taking in a big gulp of air. “So, should we head to Pinkie’s now?”

“If you want to, Twilight,” I said, gritting my teeth a little. I really didn’t want to put this off another day, but it was Twilight’s show, and I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“… I do. After dragging you around all day yesterday, I would feel bad about making you come out another day. And, after all, I did promise. And talking to Rarity didn’t go as badly as I had feared. Not as well as I had hoped, but still…” Twilight gave me a small grin, “better than I had feared. Now, let’s get going.”

Twilight set off towards Sugarcube Corner at a brisk pace, leaving me to scramble a little to keep up.


“Hello, Mr. Cake. Is Pinkie in today?” Twilight asked as we walked through the door to the candy shop.

Mr. Cake looked up from the oven and gave us a cheery smile. “Yes, actually. She was working extra hard yesterday, so we gave her the day off. She’s spent the whole day up in her room, planning another party.”

“Really? That works out well,” Twilight said. “I was afraid that we would have to track her down. Do you mind if we speak with her?”

Mr. Cake just chuckled. “Of course i don't mind! Like I said, it’s her day off. Go talk to her as much as you want. I’ll be down here.”

“Thanks,” I said, turning to march up the stairs, but Mr. Cake called out to me.

“I do need you to try to keep it quiet, however,” he said. “The twins are asleep. We tried our best to soundproof Pinkie’s room, but still, please don’t let her do something like fire off the party cannon.”

“Sure thing,” I said, turning and marching up the stairs.

When we got to Pinkie’s room, Twilight was looking a little antsy again. Right before I tried to knock on Pinkie’s door, she grabbed my hoof with her magic. I gave her a moment to compose herself, but she didn’t let go of my hoof.

“Twilight, we have to at least talk to her now. If we don’t, Mr. Cake will tell her we came by without talking to her, and you know that would hurt her feelings,” I said, trying to remove my hoof from her vice grip.

“But, what if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore after we tell her this?” Twilight said.

I had to roll my eyes at the very familiar question. I opened my mouth to respond, but—

“Silly Twilight, I would never stop being your friend,” Pinkie said from behind us.

I whirled around and took in a deep breath to ask Pinkie how she did that. Some other ponies might have screamed at being so suddenly surprised, but not me. I’m too cool for that.

But before I could calmly and quietly say anything, Pinkie shoved her hoof into my mouth. “Shhh!” she hissed, “the babies are sleeping. I need you both to be quiet. Got it?”

I nodded, and Pinkie removed her hoof from my mouth. “Where did you come from, Pinkie?” I asked, in a voice that in no way wavered. Seriously. Too cool.

“Oh, I heard you two talking outside my door, so I decided to come say hi, since you weren’t coming in,” Pinkie said with a laugh.

“But the door is soundproof!” Twilight said at the exact same moment I said “But you came from behind us!”

“Shhh!” Pinkie hissed again, giving us a glare that faded away as soon as we quieted down. “Don’t worry yourselves with little details like that. I never do.”

Twilight let out a noise of confusion, and looked like she was going to argue with Pinkie some more, but instead she said “I see. Well then, could we talk to you in your room then, Pinkie?”

“Okey dokey lokey,” Pinkie said, before opening the door to her room and waving us through like a showmare. Twilight let out a giggle, which I took as a good sign.

“All right!” Pinkie exclaimed as soon as the door closed. “Now we can be as loud as we want! Hmmm… should I get the party cannon?”

“NO!” Twilight and I yelled at the same time.

Pinkie just made a silly face at us. “I know, I know, I was just kidding around! So, what has brought you to Auntie Pinkie’s room?”

I looked over to Twilight, and she was staring at the ground and chewing her lip. I started to say something, but Pinkie beat me to the punch.

“Twilight, you don’t have to tell me anything. But I just want you to know, I love having you as a friend, and I promise that I will never stop being your friend. If you did something bad, I might be angry or disappointed, but I will still be your friend. I Pinkie Promise,” she said, looking as serious as I had ever seen her.

“Th—thank you, Pinkie,” Twilight said, sniffling a little. “That means a lot to me. But I do need you to promise one more thing. Please Pinkie Promise that none of what I’m about to tell you leaves this room.”

Pinkie nodded, then went through the motions of the promise with the same serious look on her face. If the situation hadn’t been so important, I would have laughed at the clash between Pinkies face and her wild gesturing.

As soon as Pinkie finished, Twilight took a deep breath, and let it out. “Pinkie, have you ever heard of Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome? It is more commonly referred to as—“

“A.C.M.S., right?” Pinkie finished for her. “Yes, I have heard of it.”

Twilight’s jaw fell open, and mine did the same.

“I’ve heard about it, but I don’t really know much about it beyond a few of the symptoms, and some very vague mentions in some fiction novels and such,” Pinkie continued, seemingly oblivious to our shock. “I gotta say, though, some of those books play it for laughs, and I don’t really like it. It just seems a little like they are making fun of something that is really hard for the pony in question, and on top of that, it’s something they can’t help. On the other hoof, if it is really dark humor, then—“

“Wait,” I said, interrupting Pinkie’s rambling. “You mean there are some ponies who make fun of ponies with things like A.C.M.S.?” I felt my blood begin to boil.

Twilight and Pinkie both looked alarmed at my tone. “Well, yes, but not more so than anything else gets made fun of,” Pinkie said, making soothing gestures with her hooves. “More often, they just don’t do their research. Granted, that’s not much better, considering that it spreads wrong information about it, but it’s not really in ill will.”

“Well, I still don’t like it,” I said, settling down and folding my wings back in. I must have been really angry to have unfurled them like that without even noticing.

“That’s understandable, considering,” Pinkie said, nodding sagely.

“Considering what?” I asked, rather confused.

“Considering that Twilight has it, and that you are dating, ergo it is only natural for you to feel upset, because Twilight has it, right? I mean, she looks nervous about something and you brought up A.C.M.S., so I just assumed that she has it. Did… did I screw that up?” Pinkie said, looking more and more worried as she talked.

Twilight just shook her head. “No, you didn’t screw that up. I do have A.C.M.S.”

Pinkie beamed at her. “Well, I have been reading a lot of mystery novels lately. They’re fun, but I don’t like the fact that all of them are about murder. Couldn’t the mystery be about who took the last pair of horseshoes or something? That way they could throw a party at the end without it feeling weird. Because a party after a murder is kind of odd. Unless—“

“I think we’ve gotten off topic again,” I cut in, not wanting to be here all day. Pinkie is really cool, and a great friend, but sometime you have to steer the conversation in the right direction, or you won’t actually accomplish something.

“Right!” Pinkie exclaimed, standing straight up on her hind legs and wrapping Twilight up in a hug. I could hear Twilight’s spine crack under the pressure. “I just want to tell you that you will always be my friend, and that this changes nothing between us. In fact, I think it might be a little hypocritical of me to even think about letting this change our friendship.”

“Pinkie… I… can’t…breathe!” Twilight choked out, causing Pinkie to instantly drop her, before sticking her tongue out and making a comical airheaded expression.

“Well then,” Twilight said, picking herself up from the floor, “thank you, and—wait! What do you mean it would be hypocritical of you?”

“Hm? Oh, that,” Pinkie said. “Well, it probably hasn’t escaped you that I act somewhat oddly sometimes. What I mean to say is that I don’t think that I am neurotypical either.”

“Not really the right word to use in this situation, but I know what you mean. But still, I wrote off all of the weird stuff you do as just you being you…” Twilight said, cocking her head to the side a little.

“Well, of course it was just me being me! Who else could I be?” Pinkie said with a giggle. “But, still, Twilight, don’t forget that everypony has their problems,” she said, going serious again. “And the mark of a true friend is being able to see and help with those problems, not get angry or laugh at them. I consider you a true friend, and I hope you consider me one as well.”

“Of… of course I do!” Twilight cried, tears in her eyes, and this time she was the one to sweep up Pinkie in a hug. I felt a little awkward just standing there, but I didn’t want to interrupt them either.

Eventually, they separated, and both of them wiped their eyes. “So, Pinkie, how much do you want to know about A.C.M.S.? You said you already knew a little bit about it,” Twilight said.

“Tell you what, Twilight. You just tell me as much as you want to. The only thing I ask is that you tell me warning signs so that I know when to help you,” Pinkies said, smiling.

“Deal. Ahem…ahem…”

I had been around Twilight long enough to know that when she began clearing her throat like that, she was about to start a long lecture. This time, though, it was going to be stuff I knew already, so I decided to find something else to do. “Twilight,” I said before she had a chance to get some momentum on her speech. “I’m going to go downstairs and get something to eat. Just let me know when you are ready to go to Fluttershy’s.”

“Sure thing, Rainbow,” Twilight said, smiling at me.

As I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me as quietly as I could, I could have melted with relief. It was nice to see Twilight so comfortable talking to another pony about this, especially after the way that it had gone with Rarity.

Still, we had Fluttershy and Applejack to visit. I could only hope the second half of the day went as well as the first.

Rainbow Dash 8 (Revised)

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I really shouldn’t buy a fifth cupcake. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t have that fifth cupcake. I’ve had too many already, it will require a lot of flying to burn off the calories, I’ll look like a glutton to the cakes…

But buck me if it wasn’t tempting.

Luckily I was saved from my agonizing choice by Twilight coming down the stairs from Pinkie’s room. “Hey, Twi! Over here!” I called to her as she looked around.

She cantered up to my table with large grin on her face and as she sat down next to me, she nuzzled me, much to my surprise. Twilight rarely started anything romantic (something that sometimes left me…frustrated) so she must have been in a really good mood. “I take it you had a good talk with her?” I asked as I nuzzled her back.

“Pinkie is really more insightful than most ponies seem to think! She was very understanding, and she even told me that if I ever need a break from anything, I could stay in her room and she would help me keep everything stress free for a day!” Twilight said, bouncing a little in her seat.

“Oh?” I said, poking her in the barrel. “Should I be worried about my marefriend being so excited to spend the night at another pony’s house?”

“What? No, no, no! I just…” Twilight began, before stopping and narrowing her eyes at me. “That was a joke, wasn’t it?”

“…Yes,” I admitted, laughing a little at how cute Twilight looked when she was jokingly glaring like that.

Twilight held her cutely fake glare for a moment more, before it dissolved into a case of the giggles.

It felt nice, just sitting here and laughing with my marefriend.

“Well,” Twilight said, ending the moment, “shall we head to Fluttershy’s house? I think I might have spent a little too much time with Pinkie…”

“Eh,” I said, leaning back in my seat to try to get a look at the clock tower, “it was only a half hour. We still have a while before it gets dark.”

“Okay! If it’s all right with you. I just don’t want to keep dragging you everywhere against your will.” Twilight and I got up, and set off for Fluttershy’s home.

“No, it’s fine. I get to spend time with you, after all,” I said, poking her again as we walked.

“Yeah… I like spending time with you, too,” Twilight said with a blush, and I felt like I might fall over and die from cuteness overload. “So,” she continued, “what did you do while I was talking to Pinkie?”

“Oh, I just had a cupcake.” Or four…

“I guess there isn’t really much else to do in a bakery.” Twilight shrugged. “Anyways, are you sure you don’t mind me staying at Pinkie’s place if I start to feel overwhelmed?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I understand it. You can’t exactly come over to my place whenever you want, considering it’s made of clouds. I wouldn’t be able to help you unless we planned it out to give you time to cast the cloud walking spell, and I don’t think that feeling overwhelmed runs on a predictable schedule.”

Twilight laughed. “Oh, that would be so much more convenient. Could you imagine if it did? At two thirty, restock the library. At three, invite my friends over for support. At three thirty, have mental breakdown.”

“Ha…ha?” I said, unsure about how to feel. I mean, it was great that Twilight felt comfortable enough to joke around about this, but still… I don’t really like black humor, and that was pretty dark.

“Well, in any case, thank you for being so understanding. And not just about my staying over at Pinkie’s! I mean… about everything, really.” Twilight said, with a heartwarming smile on her face.

I wrapped a wing around her. “No problem, Twilight. Now, c’mon, we gotta get to Fluttershy’s before it gets too late.”


Predictably, Twilight got more and more nervous as we got closer to Fluttershy’s, but to her credit, once we got there, she marched right up to the door and knocked on it. Even better, she wasn’t fidgeting like she had been, even though she was a little pale.

“Come on in!” Fluttershy’s voice called out from inside her cottage. “It’s unlocked!”

Twilight pushed the door open and trotted inside, with me following close behind. I took a look around, remembering the awkward situation that we had found ourselves in last time, but there didn’t seem to be any large red stallions hiding anywhere. And Fluttershy, for her part, looked like her regular self when she trotted out of her back room.

“You two have good timing. I just finished helping Mr. Beaver get a splinter out of his mouth. Oh, and I have an appointment with Ms. Bear in an hour, so I wouldn’t have been home then,” Fluttershy said, smiling her gentle smile at us.

Twilight laughed, but it sounded forced. “Lucky us, then! And here I was sort of hoping—I mean worried that we would have to come back tomorrow. But you’re here now, so we can talk to you! Hooray!” By the end of her little speech, Twilight was sounding hysterical, and Fluttershy was looking concerned.

“Twilight,” I whispered to her, “this is Fluttershy, remember! The pony that is friends with every bloodthirsty monster she can talk to? Compared to, I dunno, the fact that bears eat meat, do you think that this is gonna bother her much?”

This seemed to be the right thing to say, considering Twilight’s breathing evened out. “You’re right, Rainbow,” she said, giving me a wan smile before turning to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, I need to tell you something. I have A.C.M.S. It’s a mental illness.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” Fluttershy asked.

“All I am asking is that you keep an eye out for me. Just talk to me if I start acting weird. Er, like the Smartypants incident. Basically, if I start freaking out over nothing. Um, would you actually like to hear about the symptoms?”

“Yes, if it’s not too much trouble. After all, I know that knowing the symptoms are the best way to spot a problem in the making,” Flutteryshy said.

Twilight took a deep breath, and I could almost see the gears in her head shift into lecture mode. “First of all, symptoms for A.C.M.S. can be broken into two categories, positive and negative. Now positive symptoms are…”

I tuned out. After all, I had heard this lecture once before. Luckily, Twilight did seem to be handling this fine all on her own, although I think much of that was due to Fluttershy not reacting badly. Not that I expected her to be, but after what happened with Rarity, I was just glad that neither Pinkie nor Fluttershy had been difficult about this.

Anyways, I was going to have to talk to Rarity about how she had reacted. Sure, she hadn’t been outright rude or mean about it, but she still seemed like she would be letting this affect her view of Twilight. I was gonna have to tell her that Twilight was the same mare that she always was.

“…And that about covers it,” Twilight said sometime later, breaking me out of the staring contest I was having with that demonic little rabbit that Fluttershy owns. “So, any questions?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I think you’ve covered everything. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.”

“No, no, thank you for being so understanding about this. It really means a lot to me,” Twilight said, her voice very happy.

“Oh, if you were worried that I thought less of you when I found out, I didn’t. After all, you are one of my best friends,” Fluttershy said, smiling back at Twilight.

Twilight tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean ‘you didn’t?’ That makes it sound like you already knew about it.”

“Oh, um, well, I sort of did,” Fluttershy stuttered out.

“How? I mean, I’m I that obvious? I thought most ponies just wrote me off as being ‘quirky.’ You don’t mean that everypony knows about this, do—no, that’s preposterous. If everypony knew, then I wouldn’t have had to explain everything to you and the rest of the girls. But… you said you knew. How?” Twilight said, calming herself down before either one of us could.

“Well, I didn’t know all the details, but I knew that you had some sort of chronic condition, and try as I might, I couldn’t see any physical symptoms, so I figured it had to be something mental.” Fluttershy said, shrinking back from Twilight.

“But how did you know I had a chronic condition? From the sound of it, it was like… I don’t know what it was like! How could you possibly know I had a chronic condition without showing any symptoms?”

“Um… Rainbow sort of accidently let it slip…” Fluttershy said, and I felt like somepony had pulled the rug out from under me.

Twilight spun around and fixed me with a glare. Unlike the one from earlier, there was nothing cute about it. Her eyes were narrowed in rage, but what hurt me the most was the fact that I could see her starting to tear up underneath the anger.

“Wait, wait, wait!” I shouted, trying to salvage the situation. “When was this, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy looked like she was trying to merge with the background, but she answered me in a shaky voice. “Do you remember when you came to me to ask about Twilight a couple weeks ago? About how worried you should be about her if she had a chronic illness? It was obvious that you weren’t being hypothetical.”

“I… um, well… oh. I guess I was sort of obvious, wasn’t I?” I said, laughing sheepishly in the hope that it would somehow lessen the tension in the room.

It didn’t. Twilight was still glaring at me, and Fluttershy still looked like she would rather be anyplace else but here.

And I still felt like a total fool.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence that felt like a few years, Twilight abruptly turned tail and left without a word.

“Twilight!” I called after her, but she either didn’t hear me or just ignored me. I figured that the latter was more likely. “Sorry, Fluttershy, but I need to go talk to her! Bye!”

“I understand. I’m sorry for letting that slip,” Fluttershy said.

I groaned. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, it was my fault after all. And I guess it’s better to have everything out in the open like this. At least, I think it is. Argh! Why do relationships have to be so confusing?” I asked.

“I wish they weren’t, but they are,” Fluttershy said softly. “Now go talk to Twilight. I think she needs to hear from you that you’re sorry.”

I nodded and sped out through the door.

I caught up to Twilight before she even had a chance to cross the small bridge in front of Fluttershy’s house. “Wait up, Twilight! We need to talk for a second!”

“Can we trot and talk?” Twilight asked, her tone sharp.

“Um, yeah, sure,” I said, dropping down to land next to her. “Listen, I just want you to know that I didn’t do this deliberately. I guess I just made a few bad choices of words. You know I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally, right? I just can be a bit of a meat head sometime.”

“Oh, trust me, I know,” Twilight said curtly. “And if I for an instant thought that you did this on purpose, our relationship would be over. I know that you just didn’t think this through.”

“Oh… well… I guess all I can do is say that I’m sorry. I am really, really, sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“I already have, but…” Twilight said, and my heart leap up into my throat. “I still need some time to cool down. After we talk to Applejack, I think that I’ll need to have tomorrow all to myself. Just me and my books. Could you do that for me?”

“Sure thing, Twilight. Whenever you need some time alone, just let me know, okay? I promise that I won’t bug you tomorrow,” I said, both glad that she was willing to forgive me, and disappointed in myself for making her so angry. “So you still want to talk to Applejack? You don’t want to put that off till tomorrow? Or the next day?”

“No, I’d rather do this today. That way I can relax tomorrow without anything hanging over my head.”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

The rest of the walk to Sweet Apple Acres was in silence.


“Hey, Applejack! You in here?” I shouted into the barn. We would have knocked on the door to her house, but there was lots of noise coming from her barn, and none of the lights in the house were on.

“Hey, Rainbow! Come on in!” Applejacks country voice yelled back to me. “I’m just getting everything ready for the night!”

As Twilight and I stepped into the barn, Applejack tossed a bale of hay into a stack, then turned and faced us, wiping some sweat from her brow. “Ah, and you have Twilight with you! What do I owe the honor of your visit to?”

“I wanted to talk to you for a little bit, Applejack,” Twilight said, stepping forwards. “It’s about, well, it’s about a secret that I have been keeping from you and the rest of the girls.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “You know I don’t like secrets, Twilight, but I guess everypony has a few. And I’m just glad that you decided to tell me.”

“Yeah, I know. And I felt that it was time to come clean,” Twilight said. “Anyways, Applejack, have you heard of A.C.M.S.?”

Applejack cocked her head to the side. “Can’t say that I have. What is it?”

“It’s a mental illness. The reason I bring it up is because I have it. I—“ Twilight began, but Applejack interrupted her.

“You have a mental illness? You mean you’re some kind of loony?” she asked in a very surprised tone of voice.

“L—Loony!?” Twilight said, recoiling as if struck, at the same time as I hissed to Applejack “What the hay do you mean by that!?”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Applejack said, waving her hooves in the air. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! I—“

“Then tell us what you meant by ‘loony,’ cause that’s pretty hard to misinterpret!” I spat at her, angrier than I had been in a long time.

“Look, Rainbow, I just had a long day, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I really am s—“

“A long day? You think that excuses this? I’ve had long days too, but I’ve never called one of my friends something as nasty as loony, especially right after they came to me with a secret they were afraid of telling me!” I yelled, sticking my face right in Applejack’s.

“I already said I’m sorry! What more do you want?” Applejack yelled right back, meeting my glare.

“What I want is—“ I began, but suddenly I found myself dragged away from Applejack by an incredible force, while Applejack was dragged in the opposite direction. I tried to protest, but my lips had been forced shut, and trying to get them apart just hurt them.

“ENOUGH!” Twilight roared, sounding just as angry as I had. “I will not have one of my best friends and my marefriend fighting like this! Especially over me!”

The sound of Twilight's heavy breathing filled the barn while Applejack and I just stared at her.

“Rainbow,” Twilight said, turning to me, “what Applejack said was hurtful, but I don’t want to hold a grudge over it. She already apologized, and I’m inclined to accept it. So please, let it go.”

“But,” I said, finding that I could speak again, “she called you a name! A really nasty one.”

“Yes, but she apologized to me, and I want to let it go. You don’t really have any reason to keep fighting with her on my behalf. Understand?” Twilight asked.

I nodded, reluctantly.

“Now Applejack,” Twilight said, turning to the pony in question, “like I said, what you did was hurtful. But I really do want to let it go. So… let bygones be bygones?” Twilight said, extending a hoof towards Applejack, obviously hoping to shake on it.

Applejack shrunk back from Twilight’s hoof.

“Applejack, what…?” Twilight said, but then her eyes widened. “Applejack, are you…are you afraid of me now?” she asked softly.

“No!” Applejack exclaimed, but she wouldn’t meet Twilight’s eyes, and her muzzle was all scrunched up.

Not even Twilight could miss those signs. “Oh… I see,” she said in a tiny voice, and her horn lit up.

“No, wait, Twilight! We need to—“ Applejack said frantically, but was interrupted by a pop as Twilight teleported away. “… talk about this. Dang it!” Applejack cursed.

For my part, my teeth were grinding together too much for me to say anything.

Applejack turned to me, looking downcast. “I goofed, didn’t I?”

“This qualifies as more than just a ‘goof,’ Applejack,” I said, sounding a lot calmer than I felt. “How could you treat her like that?”

“It was just a stupid reflex! I didn’t mean anything by it!” Applejack said. “Please, I really didn’t mean to hurt her! It’s just…”

“Just what?” I asked, my tone as cold as ice. “What excuse could you possibly give for acting that way towards Twilight? That mare has seen us through more disasters than anypony else. And how do you repay her? By looking at her like she’s gonna rip your head off.”

“I know, I know. But please, just give me a chance to explain,” Applejack pleaded.

“This had better be a dang good explanation.”

“It probably isn’t good enough, but…” Applejack sighed. “Look, you remember that time that Twilight made the whole town fight over that doll?” I nodded, and she continued, “Applebloom had nightmares for weeks after that. She would dream that Twilight would cast another spell on her and make her do something mean. And Big Mac… I think it affected him just as badly. He never said anything to me, but I noticed that he tried to throw that doll away several times, but he never could. He would always dig it out of the trash when he did. I think it’s still in his closet.”

“That happened a while ago, Applejack, and Twilight said she was sorry. Heck, if you told her about it, she would have done everything in her power to make it up to you.”

“I know, but Applebloom forgave Twilight and said she didn’t want to bother her with it. I think she wanted to act grown up. And as for my brother, well, he didn’t say anything, so it’s not my place to try and force him to do anything.”

“Fine,” I said, nodding in understanding, “but it sounds like everything has been sorted out. So why are you acting this way now?”

“Well…” Applejack said, looking everywhere but at me.

“Spit it out,” I growled. I was getting really fed up with how Applejack was acting.

“I thought that she only acted that way because of Discord. But I assume that that could happen again, and that’s why she wanted to tell me about this A.C…whatever it was. Am I right?”

I nodded.

“And you know how strong she is. You saw how effortlessly she pulled us apart. Heck, she even stopped us from yelling. If she really aint right in the head, what’s stopping her from hurting us?” Applejack asked.

I bristled. “If you think for one moment that Twilight would hurt anypony on purpose—“

“I know!” Applejack yelled, cutting me off. “I don’t think she would do it on purpose. But she didn’t mean to give Applebloom nightmares, now did she?”

“I… um…” I stuttered, trying to think of a good argument. “Look,” I said instead, “Until you go and apologize to Twilight in the flesh, I don’t want to talk to you. Understand?”

“I understand,” Applejack said sadly. “And Rainbow?” she said as I turned to leave, “could you tell Twilight that I am sorry? I just need some time to think about this.”

“I’ll do that,” I said, then launched myself into the sky in the direction of Twilight’s library.


“Twilight! Can I come in!?” I yelled, pounding on the door to the library. “C’mon, open up! We really should talk!”

The door swung open, but much to my surprise, it wasn’t Twilight but Spike, standing in front of me. “Hello, Rainbow,” he said coldly.

“Yeah, whatever, hi,” I said. I know I was being rude, but I needed to talk to Twilight right away. “Listen, Spike, is Twilight home? I need to talk to her about—“

“About accidentally spilling her biggest secret to Fluttershy? Or maybe you needed to talk to her about starting a fight with Applejack that left her scared of Twilight?” Spike said, glaring at me.

“Oh, so you heard from Twilight about all that? Listen, I need to apologize to her, so if you could let me in…”

“I know enough about what happened, even if I had to get all of the information between sobs,” Spike said, sounding angry now. “And Twilight doesn’t want to see you right now, so no, I won’t let you in.”

“But, I need to make sure she is all right! If she—“

“If she what? Rainbow,” Spike said, pinching the brow of his nose with his claw, “no matter what happens, seeing you right now isn’t going to make anything better. Just give her some space and some time to get over what happened, okay?”

“I—all right,” I said, hanging my head in defeat. I didn’t want to admit it, but what Spike said was true. No matter what the situation, forcing my way in to see Twilight wasn’t going to cheer her up, especially after what happened at Fluttershy’s. And Spike would be there for her, so I didn’t need to worry about her being alone. “So when should I come back?” I asked.

“Come back in about a week.”

“A week!? A whole week!? But—“

“She wants to talk about what happened with Doctor Hooves, okay? So give her a week,” Spike said, glaring at me as if to dare me to object.

“Fine,” I said. If Twilight wants that much space, then I should give it to her. I wasn’t happy about it, but it was the right thing to do. “Could you pass on a message for me, though?”

“What is it?”

“Tell her that both Applejack and I are sorry about what happened, and that Applejack is thinking about what happened. Could you do that?”

“Sure thing.” Spike said.

“Thank you,” I said, turning to leave with my head down low. “I’ll see you in a week, then.” And without a further word, I took off in the direction of my house, and more importantly, my bed. It had been a trying day.

Doctor Hooves 7

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I was a little worried when Twilight dragged herself into my office. She looked disheveled and tired, and worst of all, her eyes just seemed dull, instead bright and lively.

“Hello, Twilight. Are you feeling all right?” I asked, concerned.

She gave me a disbelieving look, and asked, “Can’t you tell how I’m feeling? I mean, I only had three ponies ask me if I was okay on my way here, so I must actually look better than I’m feeling.”

“So, not well. Are you physically ill, or is this related to what we talked about last week? About telling your friends about your A.C.M.S.?” I asked.

“Yes…” Twilight said, looking miserable.

“Did one of them react badly?”

Twilight nodded.

“Did more than one of them react badly?”

Twilight nodded again.

“I see. Well, then, how about you tell me about it? First of all, who reacted badly?” I asked.

“Applejack. And Rarity. Sort of.”

“Sort of?” I echoed, puzzled.

“It’s complicated,” Twilight said, looking away from me.

“Well then, why don’t we start there? What exactly did Rarity say and do?”

“Well,” Twilight said, taking a deep breath. “Everything was going well up until I began to describe my symptoms to her. Then she stopped me, and told me that if she knew more, she might never be able to look at me the same way again.”

“I see. And forgive the cliche, but how did that make you feel?” I asked.

“Well, I wasn’t sure how to feel then, and after that everything else kind of pushed it out of my mind. But looking back now…” Twilight fell silent.

After giving her a minute to think, I prompted her to continue with a gentle “Go on.”

“Right now, thinking back on it, I feel sort of, thankful, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel a little angry that she wasn’t willing to listen to me all the way through, but I didn’t even ask her how much she wanted to know. I guess I’m grateful that she stopped me before I said something that could permanently damage our friendship. But on the other hoof, I still feel sad that she can’t accept all of me. I just… gah! I feel so mixed up about this!” Twilight exclaimed, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof.

“I think that it is natural to feel mixed up about something like this. You took a big leap of faith, and tried something that you never even would have thought about before. And in the end, it didn’t pan out like you had hoped, but it wasn’t a complete disaster either, at least as far as I can tell. So, I can completely understand feeling a bit confused about this,” I said, smiling sympathetically.

“I see,” Twilight said. “Yeah, that make sense. Thank you, Doctor. You always help me sort this stuff out. You know, sometimes I wish emotions were more logical, that way I could sort them out myself.”

“Twilight, I think the only pony whose emotions are completely logical would be some sort of golem. Emotions are not logical things, and trying to apply cold hard logic to them all the time would just be very frustrating,” I said.

“I know. There are some things that logic simply cannot adequately explain, like emotions or Pinkie Pie. That was a lesson learned the hard way,” Twilight said, with a weak laugh.

I smiled again. It was good to hear her laugh, especially after how morose she had been when she entered the room. Unfortunately, I had a feeling that her cheer wasn’t going to last much longer.

“So, Twilight, what do you plan to do about the situation with Rarity?” I asked.

Just as I feared, Twilight immediately looked depressed again. “I… I honestly don’t know. I guess all I can do is see if she acts any different around me. I mean, if she acts like nothing happened, I could live with that. But if she does act differently, I guess that we will have to talk about it. Especially if she acts like Applejack did…”

Ah. The elephant in the room. “Twilight, why don’t you tell me how Applejack reacted?”

Twilight’s face fell even further, and she looked downright miserable. “She’s afraid of me now. And what’s worse, I think she might be right to,” she said, hanging her head.

“Listen to me, Twilight. Nopony in their right mind should be afraid of their friend. You know that,” I said sternly. Sometimes I had to be a little firm with Twilight, especially when she got to some dark places. If I let her, she would twist the facts and words to paint herself in the worst possible light.

“I know that, but I’m not sure if Applejack even wants to be my friend anymore. And it’s not like I haven’t given her enough reasons to be scared of me.”

I sighed. This would be a little bit harder than I had hoped. “Twilight, what do you mean you gave her reasons to be scared of you?” I asked, wanting more information.

“Well, Applejack and Rainbow got into a fight, and I thought that they were going a bit too far with it, so I pulled them apart. I think… I think how easily I did that scared her.”

“Is that all?” I asked.

“Isn’t that enough? Applejack is one of the strongest earth ponies around, and I thoughtlessly tossed her around like she wasn’t even there. Wouldn’t you be scared of me too in that situation?” Twilight shot back.

“Twilight, I think you might be exaggerating a bit. I doubt you ‘tossed her around,’ I would bet anything that you just gently pulled them apart,” I said, smiling.

Twilight looked away from me.

“Twilight?” I said, the smile slipping from my face.

“I also held their mouths shut. I didn’t want them to argue anymore, so…” Twilight said.

I grimaced internally. “All right, I can see how that might make Applejack a little wary around you. But—“

“You see! Even you agree! She’s right to fear me! She can’t trust me, I can’t even trust myself! I—“ Twilight said hysterically, but I cut her off.

“Twilight, you made a mistake, that much is true. But from what I understand, you just wanted your friends to stop fighting. Anypony would do that. And I trust that you haven’t had any symptoms since we last talked?” I asked.

“Well, no, I haven’t had any symptoms…”

“Then you most certainly can trust yourself. You need to give yourself more credit, Twilight. Like I’ve said before, you are not some crazy mare constantly on the edge of a breakdown, you are a well-adjusted mare who happens to have a health problem. You need to keep an eye on it, like all chronic health problems, but it does not make you any less than any other pony. You laugh, and love, and yes, even make mistakes, just like any other pony. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Doctor Hooves,” Twilight said, pensively.

After a minute or two of silence, I had to ask. “So, what are you going to do about Applejack?”

“Well,” Twilight said, scratching her chin, “she did send me a message that she needed some time to think about our relationship, so I guess I should just wait for her to get in contact with me. Right?”

“I think that sounds like a good plan. Give her some space to realize how good of a friend you are, and that all of the adventures you have been through together show that she has nothing to fear.”

“I suppose that would be the best case scenario. Better than showing up early and forcing her to say if she still wanted to be my friend or not,” Twilight said, still looking thoughtful.

I nodded. “Much better.”

Twilight nodded, and fell silent. I felt that it was best to leave her to her thoughts for the time being.

“Okay, there was one other thing I wanted to talk to you about. It’s about Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said suddenly, as if she had just gathered up the courage to talk about it.

“Okay, what in particular did you want to talk about? Did you two have a fight?” I asked.

“Yes. This actually happened right before we talked to Applejack. We were talking with Fluttershy, and it turns out that Rainbow had gone to her for relationship advice. After all, she and Big Mac did get together a few weeks before us,” Twilight said.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. Are you angry at Rainbow for asking Fluttershy for advice?”

“No, it’s just… oh, I feel terrible saying this, but you know how Rainbow isn’t exactly the smartest pony around? Don’t get me wrong, she’s a wonderful marefriend, and she is brilliant when she sets her mind to something, but sometimes she doesn’t think things all the way through, you know.”

“So, what did she end up doing that had you upset at her?”

“She asked Fluttershy what she should do if I had a chronic illness. She tried to make it sound like a hypothetical question, but you know how obvious Rainbow can be.”

“Ah, I see,” I said. “Did she tell Fluttershy any of the specifics?”

“No, it doesn’t seem like she did. Fluttershy just said that she knew I had a ‘chronic condition.’”

“I see,” I repeated. “So, what did you do about that?”

“I didn’t really speak to her in much detail after that. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her much on the way to Applejack’s, and I had asked her to give me the next day just to myself, but then…” Twilight trailed off.

“Then she got into a fight with Applejack. Was the fight itself another reason why you are mad at Rainbow?” I guessed.

“Yeah. The whole reason they got into the fight was because Applejack said—Applejack stuck her hoof in her mouth, and Rainbow got really angry at that.”

“Well, I can imagine that, but for you to feel as if you needed to pull them apart… whatever Applejack must have said must have been pretty offensive to get Rainbow that angry. What in Equestria did Applejack say?”

Twilight looked away from me. “I’d rather not say. It was just an accident, and she didn’t mean anything by it. Rainbow really overreacted.”

“And I take it this overreaction is another reason why you are mad at Rainbow?”

“Yes. She just suddenly got so overprotective of me. She didn’t act that way with Rarity, so why did she suddenly need to be my knight in shining armor?” Twilight asked, looking directly at me.

I smiled sadly. “I believe that she did that because she wanted to make up for letting something slip to Fluttershy. Granted, getting in a fight with another pony is a poor way to try to repair a relationship problem, but mistakes are a part of any relationship.”

“So… what? She was thinking that she made a mistake with Fluttershy, so she was going to fix it by acting as if I couldn’t fight my own battles? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“I doubt that she consciously did it. It was probably more subconscious than anything else.”

“I see,” Twilight mused, looking at the floor and tapping her chin as if deep in thought.

After a minute, I broke the silence. “So, do you have any idea what to do with Rainbow?”

“Well, I told her I wanted to speak to you before I talked to her again, so I think that she might be waiting just outside to talk to me. As for what I’m going to say to her… well…”

“Take your time. I don’t mean to rush you.” I said.

Twilight nodded, “Well…” she said slowly, “I want to forgive her, but I’ll need to put some stipulations on that. First, to be more careful about who she talks to and what she says. And second, that she needs to let me decided what I want to do when things like what Applejack said come up. She needs to let me fight my own battles, so to speak.”

“I think that sounds good,” I said, nodding. “But Twilight, be sure to listen to what she has to say too. Don’t just lay down the law without regard to Rainbow’s feelings, okay? Forgiveness is a two way street, and if Rainbow really is sorry, she will have more to say than just listening to your rules and going along with them. What I’m trying to say here is that while I think Rainbow will go along with what you ask, you should give her a chance to explain why she did what she did.”

“Got it,” Twilight said, and then fell silent.

I glanced at the clock. “And it appears that our time is almost up. Was there anything else that you wanted to talk about before we finished for the day?”

“Not really. Wait, actually…” Twilight said, looking at the clock as if it were an enemy. “There was one other thing, but I don’t think we have the time for it.”

“Whatever it is that is on your mind, we can talk about it. I don’t mind going over the time limit,” I said, smiling at her.

“But, what about your other patients? I don’t want to take time away from them!”

“Twilight, I don’t have another patient for another half hour. We have time.” I neglected to mention that I used that time to finish up any paperwork I had, but I could always catch up on that later.

“Okay. The thing I wanted to ask, Doctor is… well… am I selfish?” Twilight asked, looking a little sad.

“Selfish?” I echoed. “In what way?”

“Well, when I look at it objectively, I can consider myself pretty lucky, especially for a pony with A.C.M.S. It’s just, well, my symptoms are manageable, I haven’t had a hallucination or delusion for a pretty long time now, and I have a family and friends that care about me. Some ponies with A.C.M.S. have symptoms that don’t react to medication, are unable to function on their own, and some of them are even homeless, without anypony to help them. And here I am, fretting over the remote possibility that I might lose a single friend, and mad at my marefriend for trying to find out how to help me. Compared to what other ponies with A.C.M.S. go through, I feel like I’m taking everything for granted,” Twilight said, looking a little tearful.

I smiled. “Twilight, could you tell me, in simple terms, what the project you are working on for the Canterlot Charity Society is?”

Twilight looked taken back. “Well, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Just humor me, please.”

“Okay…” Twilight said, looking unsure. “What I’m doing is basically trying to find a way to store and retrieve magical energy in crystals. Better than the methods we have now, I mean. I’m looking for a way to keep the magic pure and uncontaminated. That way we could store magical energy from willing ponies to give to ponies that have problems creating their own magical energy. Sort of a blood transfusion, but with magic. We can do that now, but so much energy is corrupted that it would take draining about eleven or twelve average ponies of their magic completely to get a big enough dosage to actually help somepony. ”

“And why are you doing this? For the grant money?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“Well, no, not really. I mean, sort of, but as a means to an end. If I got the grant money, I could hire some assistants and actually field test my new crystals and methods. But as for why I do it, well… you know that little pegasus Scootaloo? She can’t fly yet, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is because she doesn’t have enough magic to work with. If my research is successful, then I could help her and all the other ponies that have similar problems,” Twilight said.

My smile grew wider. “So, does that answer your question?”

Twilight just looked confused. “What?”

“After saying all that, do you still think you are selfish? Because from where I’m sitting, I heard a mare that is doing her best to improve the quality of life for countless ponies, and to improve our medical magic and science.”

“Oh…” Twilight said, her mouth hanging open a bit.

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about, Twilight?” I asked.

“No… No, I think we covered everything,” Twilight said, sounding a lot happier. “See you next week, Doctor?”

“Actually, no. I have a family obligation next week, so I won’t be here. I’ll be here the rest of the week, so if you need anything, come in then,” I said. “I assume you have enough medication for the week.”

Twilight nodded. “I’m just about to open the new bottles from the prescription you gave me.”

“Very well, see you week after next, Twilight?”

“Sure thing, Doctor,” Twilight said, then trotted out the door.

I, meanwhile, turned to my paperwork, ready to work at extra speed to make up for lost time.

Rainbow Dash 9

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I glanced down at the doctor’s office for what felt like the thousandth time in as many minutes, but looking at the clock tower told me that it had only been ten minutes since I had set up the cloud.

I sighed. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do when Twilight did come out of the doctor’s office. “Hello, Twi! I’ve been following you all day waiting for you to finish your appointment so I could talk to you!” Yeah, that didn’t seem like it would go over too well. Heck, it made me sound like a stalker.

Not that I was one. I was just tailing my marefriend around without her knowledge after a big fight. Sure, that might sound like stalking but… but…

Thankfully, Twilight walked out into the sunlight before I had to come up with a concrete reason why I wasn’t a stalker. I nearly pushed off the cloud right there and then, but I hesitated. It would look a little weird and desperate if I showed up at the exact moment that she said I could talk to her again, and to top it off, I didn’t even know if she did want to talk to me. For all I knew, Doctor Hooves had told her to cut off all contact with me! Granted, he didn’t seem like the kind of pony that would do that, but he also didn’t seem to like me all that much.

Ah, who cares? Even if he did say that, I would just make Twilight mine again, no matter what!

Okay, that sounded creepy and possessive. Tone it down, Rainbow. Doctor Hooves wouldn’t do that, and the only way to find out if Twi wanted to talk to me or not was to ask her.

I jumped off the cloud and glided down to the street, landing a little ways in front of Twilight, not close enough to cut her off or be rude, but near enough that she definitely saw me. I saw her face flash with… some sort of emotion that I couldn’t quite read, and she increased her pace a little, trotting up to me.

“Hey, Twi…” I said awkwardly, rubbing the back of my head with a foreleg. “Are you in the mood to talk a little?”

“Yes, but not now. I still have a few errands to run, so could you meet me at the library in about a half hour? That way we can have some privacy as well. Sound good?” she asked.

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I don’t have anything else to do for the rest of the day. So, are we cool?”

Twilight gave me a flat look. “Let’s wait until after we actually talk before we decide that. But,” she said, smiling, “I have a feeling that we will be.”


“Why do things never go according to plan?” I grumbled to myself after waiting in the library for an hour, bored out of my mind. I mean, I could take a look at one of the book, but I had no idea what ones were my kind of awesome, like the Daring Do books, and Twilight’s kind of ‘awesome,’ like something on, I don’t know, theoretical magic physics.

Luckily, just as I was about to start climbing up the walls, Twilight marched through the door, and sat down on one of the cushions in the reading area with a huff. “That could have gone better,” she said, glaring at nothing in particular.

“What happened?” I asked, putting aside my frustration at being made to wait for the moment.

“I ran into that unicorn again. You know, Blood Work,” she said, still glaring angrily off into space.

“Oh, boy, what did she say now?” I asked.

“It was strange, actually,” Twilight said. “She came right up to me and asked how I was doing first. I thought she might have wanted to take up my offer of being friends, but the second I asked her how she was doing back she got really nasty.”

“Nasty how?”

“Well, most of it was the usual stuff. I’m better than you, that grant will be mine, and so on and so forth. Then she started accusing me of cheating, at the top of her voice, right in the middle of the market.”

“That little piece of… argh!” I said incoherently. “I’m sorry Twilight, that must have been embarrassing. I should have been there to put her in her place. A nice hoof to the face would have solved that.”

“No! Rainbow, that wouldn’t have been necessary, or even the right thing to do. Actually, everypony in the market place that was paying attention seemed to be on my side. A couple of them even yelled out things about how I saved Ponyville and the whole world a couple time, and one of them even threw a tomato at her. It missed, thankfully, but it was still a nice gesture… I think…”

“Still, if she does keep this up, I don’t know how long I’ll want to keep my temper in check.”

“Rainbow!” Twilight said indignantly. “Look, whatever happens, promise that you won’t resort to violence, okay? That’s never the answer.”

“…All right, fine. But only if she doesn’t get physical herself, okay? I’m not gonna just sit back if she starts actually attacking you,” I said.

Twilight sighed. “Thank you, Rainbow. I don’t think it will come to that, though. She seems rude, but I don’t think she’s actually a threat.” She clapped her hooves together once. “Now, on to business. We need to talk about our relationship.”

I swallowed the lump that appeared in my throat. “Right. That.”

“Forgive my language, but what the buck were you thinking, getting into a fight with Applejack like that?!” Twilight suddenly yelled.

“But, but, she said something really bad about you…” I said hollowly. Now that I actually said it, I was surprised at how weak my argument sounded.

“I know she did, but you should have let me handle it! That day was supposed to be about me! I was the one telling other ponies my deepest darkest secret, you were supposed to come along to make sure I didn’t chicken out! What you were not supposed to do was get into an argument with one of our friends!”

“But—“

“I’m not done yet! I think what I find most insulting about what happened was that you decided to fight my battle for me. Regardless of what I have to deal with in the rest of my life, and for all my shortcomings, the one thing I am not is helpless! If you hadn’t jumped in like that, I’m sure Applejack and I would have been able to come to an understanding.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to make Applejack afraid of you…”

“Rainbow, I—“ Twilight began, but suddenly stopped speaking. “No, Rainbow, you didn’t make Applejack afraid of me. I don’t blame you for that. It was my own rash actions that caused that. Granted, your rash actions led to my own, but my actions are my own.”

“I see…” I said. “But, Twilight, you can’t just expect me to not try to defend you. I… uh… I love you, and I don’t like hearing other ponies put you down. How am I going to know when to defend you and when to let you fight for yourself?”

Twilight, for some reason, was staring at me with her mouth hanging open. “You… Do you really mean that?” she asked.

I raised an eyebrow. “Of course I do. I’m your marefriend, so it’s only natural that I don’t want ponies talking smack about you.”

“No… I mean the part about… never mind,” she said, shaking her head. “In any case, let’s lay down some rules about when you can defend me, and when to let me defend myself. First off, if I’m not there, of course you can defend me. Verbally at least. As for when I am present, how about only if I’m actually crying, okay? In any other situation, I think I can handle myself. That sound good to you?”

“You want me to wait until a pony has actually driven you to tears before I jump in to defend you? Really?” I asked flatly.

Twilight frowned, her ears flopping back. “Is that a weird thing to ask?” she said, hesitating a little.

“Well,” I said, rubbing the back of my head uncomfortably, “a little, but I can understand it. All right, sure. I can live with that,” I said, lying through my teeth. No way was I going to actually let somepony make Twilight cry before I did anything. I would just have to be careful about how enthusiastically I defended her. “So, are we cool?” I asked hopefully.

Unfortunately, the frown on Twilight’s face stayed there. “Not so fast. We still have to discuss what happened at Fluttershy’s.”

Drat. “Look, Twilight, I have no excuse. I should have been sneakier when I was talking to Fluttershy. I was just, I was worried about you.”

“Why did you go to her in the first place?” Twilight asked. “Heck, when did you go? I left before we could discuss that.”

“It was right after you had that nightmare. I was thinking, and I got to wondering how much I should worry about you. So I went to the pony that I knew had some relationship experience. Like I said, I should have been sneakier about talking to her. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” I asked.

“Like I said on the way to Applejack’s I already have. I just wanted to hear your reasoning.”

“Then, are we good?”

Twilight smiled. “Yes. We are, as you were saying, ‘cool.’”

“Yes!” I yelled, throwing my hooves in the air. I know it was a bit of an overreaction, but—no, you know what? It wasn’t an overreaction. This was our first major fight, and we had come through the other side. I always heard that that was a good sign for the relationship, as long as it didn’t happen again too soon.

“Wow, Rainbow, you look happy about something. What’s the occasion?” a familiar voice said from behind me.

I spun around to see Lyra standing in the entrance to the library with a smile on her face.

“Oh, nothing. Just something between Twilight and me,” I said, a goofy grin on my face.

Lyra’s eyes widened. “Oh…” she said in a sultry voice, walking up to me and putting a hoof around my shoulder. “I see… the first time is always magical, you know…” she whispered in my ear.

It took a second for the implications of what she said to sink in. “No, no, no! Not like that you perv!”

Lyra laughed. “Relax, I was just kidding. I bet you two do it like rabbits.”

I swear, if my face got any redder, I would faint. “I wish,” I mumbled.

Lyra drew back. “Really? And how long have you two been going out? A couple weeks now? I guess that’s not unheard of… but still…”

“Not everypony wants to move that fast.”

“Said Rainbow Dash.”

“What are you two talking about? And what was that about rabbits?” Twilight asked, cutting into our conversation.

“Nothing!” I yelled, at the same time as Lyra said “Rainbow wants to do it, Twilight.”

Twilight cocked her head. “Do what?” she said, a completely innocent look on her face.

Lyra’s jaw dropped, and I took the opportunity to jam my hoof in there. “Look, greenie, one more word about this and you’ll be in a world of hurt. Understand?” I hissed at her.

Lyra just nodded, and I took my hoof out of her mouth.

“Um, what’s going on?” Twilight asked, looking confused.

“Nothing you need to worry about Twilight.” I said, shaking my hoof to get the drool off. “Right, Lyra?”

“Right. Nothing you need to worry about,” Lyra said, still looking shocked. “Really, though?” she asked me.

“Just drop it, Lyra,” I said.

She threw up her hooves in defeat. “Okay, I won’t mention it again. Anyways, Twilight, are you ready to get this done?”

“Sure thing, Lyra! Just let me get my stuff together,” Twilight said cheerfully.

I looked between the two of them curiously. “Get what done?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, right, I didn’t get the chance to tell you, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “I was so far behind schedule because of Blood Work that my timeline is all thrown off. Anyways, Lyra and I have started collaborating on her project for the Canterlot Charity Society.”

“Really?” I asked. “I thought that you were working on a solo project for that. Are you allowed to have two entries for the project?”

“Not… not technically, but Lyra has already done most of the work. I’m really just double checking everything. It’s not really enough to justify putting my name on it.”

“But what about your own project?”

Twilight laughed. “I’ve pretty much finished it. I just need to put the finishing touches on it, and then all I have to do is practice my presentation.”

“Oh, that’s cool! I didn’t know you were that far along!”

“Well, over the past week, I managed to get a lot of work done. Since I wasn’t hanging out with you, I did a lot of work to distract myself from how badly things went,” Twilight said.

Lyra looked at Twilight, then at me. “Um… what was going on between the two of you? Or is that none of my business?”

“Oh, it’s nothing you need to worry about, Lyra,” Twilight said cheerfully. “Why don’t you head on down to the lab and get your stuff ready, while I get my notes from my bedroom.”

“Sure thing, Twilight!” Lyra chirped, and turned to the entrance to the lab. “Wait,” she said, pausing, “why were your notes in your bedroom?”

Twilight blushed. “I may have been reading them in bed.”

Lyra chuckled. “That does sound like you. All right, meet you downstairs.”

Twilight began to trot up to her room, while Lyra turned and made her way down into her basement. After a moment of hesitation, I followed Twilight.

“Yo, Twi, wait up,” I called after her. When she paused, I caught up with her. “I thought that we were going to spend the day together. What happened?”

“But we didn’t make any plans like that. We were just supposed to talk about our relationship. I thought that I would have the rest of the day free,” Twilight protested.

“Well, we didn’t make an explicit plans, but it was sort of implied…”

“Oh,” Twilight said. “Oh!” she repeated, a distressed look on her face. “That should have been obvious, right? A whole day together after our first big fight? Rainbow, I am so, so sorry. I’ll go tell Lyra to leave right now!”

“No, wait!” I said, blocking her before she could leave her room. “Twilight, that would be incredibly rude! Listen, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon? I have it free.”

“I don’t have any plans yet…”

“Then let’s hang out then!”

“Okay!” Twilight said, cheering up. “But wait…” she said frowning. “If you expected to hang out with me today, you must not have any plans for the rest of the day. What are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “I’ll think of something.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “In that case, can I recommend a book for you? I know you finished the latest Daring Do, so you aren’t reading anything at the moment, right?”

“Uh… sure. What kind of book is it?”

“It’s a history book!” Twilight said cheerfully.

I could feel my face fall. “That isn’t… really my kind of book, you know, Twi. Do you have anything cooler?”

“No, wait, hear me out. It’s the first in a series, written by a famous comedian. It’s actually really funny as well as educational. Just give it a chance please?” Twilight said, giving me the puppy dog eyes.

I sighed. I never could resist her when she looked so cute. “All right, fine. I’ll give it a shot.”


Three hours later, I nearly fell out of my cushion laughing. “Slightly odd!? Oh man, talk about an understatement.”

The book was actually really good. It made history sound more like a comedy of errors than anything, and I think that I learned more in the last three hours than I had in all my years of school.

“Well, darling, you seem to be in a good mood.”

I glanced up from the book. “Oh, hey, Rarity!” I said, smiling. Then I remembered what had happened last week. “Oh, hey, Rarity,” I repeated, much colder this time.

Rarity winced. “I take it you are still upset about what happened last time we met? I assure you, it wasn’t my intention to offend or hurt you in any way.”

“It wasn’t about me,” I said, scowling a little. “It’s about Twilight. She’s the one you should apologize to.”

“Actually, darling, that’s why I’m here. I don’t want any bad blood between the three of us, so I came to smooth things out.”

“Oh, good. Unfortunately, you might have to wait a bit. She’s doing some sort of science thing right now, and you know how single minded she can be when working on a project.”

Rarity’s face fell. “Oh. Well, I don’t really have any plans for the next few hours, but I will have to get back to the Boutique at some point.”

“I see,” I said neutrally. “Funny, I would think that patching things up with your friend would take first priority. But that’s just me.”

“Listen, Rainbow,” Rarity said, frowning, “I know you’re still upset about what happened, but that was a low blow. You don’t actually think that I wouldn’t leave without talking to Twilight unless it was really important, do you? It’s a big chance for my business, and I simply cannot miss it.”

“How big?”

“Why, it is the best chance I have had in a long time to impress the upper echelons of the Canterlot elite. It would give me a whole new sort of name recognition.”

I paused. I didn’t like the idea of Twilight being second on anypony’s list of priorities, but what Rarity was saying did make some sense. She would have to be nuts to pass up such a big chance.

“All right,” I said grudgingly. “Well, maybe we should check on how Twilight and Lyra are doing. It’s been a couple of hours since they went down there, so I don’t think they could get too upset over a quick peek.”

Rarity’s eyebrows climbed. “Lyra’s here?” she asked.

“Um, yeah, she and Twilight are going over her notes together. Why, what’s up with her?” I asked.

“Nothing. It’s just… she is the one I was supposed to meet. Talk about a stroke of good luck.”

I felt my own eyebrows climb. “Lyra is supposed to help you suck up to those snobs in Canterlot? How is she supposed to do that?”

Rarity let out a grunt of frustration. “This magic project of hers is going to be entered into the Canterlot Charity Societies contest, you see. If I have my name attached to one of the more successful entries, it will help me, as you so crudely put it, ‘suck up.’”

“I didn’t know you knew much about magical theory, Rarity,” I said.

“I don’t really,” she said with a flip of her mane. “Lyra needed some outfits made to very exacting specifications, and made out of some exotic materials to boot. And of course, she knew that I was the only pony that could meet those standards and still make everything look fabulous. But just think of it. ‘Produced by Rarity’, right there next to Lyra’s name on the winning project!”

“That’s all well and good, but there is one problem with your plan,” I said, struggling to hide a grin.

“Oh? Well then, darling, don’t keep me in suspense. What is this proverbial fly in the ointment?”

“Twilight’s entering the contest.”

“Oh,” Rarity said, drawing back. “I do recall her saying something like that. Well then, I just have one thing to say. May the best pony win!” she said with a smile.

“Oh, I’m sure Twilight will,” I said, grinning.

Rarity matched my grin. “Well then, ruffian, let us go check on our respective champions of science.”


“Buck it all!” Lyra yelled, throwing a stack of papers into the air. “Just, just… Ah, buck it!”

Rarity and I took a step back. We were not two paces into the room, and Lyra was having some sort of outburst.

“Calm down, Lyra!” Twilight pleaded, oblivious to our presence. “Look, it’s no big deal, you just have to rework some figures.”

“Yeah, all of them! I just, I just thought that I could do something right for once in my life,” Lyra said, the fire going out of her eyes, and she just sagged where she stood. “I should have known better.”

“Um, what’s going on?” I asked, confused.

Twilight gave a small start at my voice, and glance at Rarity and I, seemingly noticing us for the first time. “Well, Lyra and I were going over her notes, and I started noticing some discrepancies. We took a look at some of the experiments that she did earlier, and when we tried to replicate them, we got different results.”

“Oh, okay… so?” I asked, not following.

“So… that means one of three things. One: there is some chaos magic in the mix. Unlikely, since I didn’t sense any,” Twilight said, slipping into lecture mode. “Two: there was a contamination in the experiments we just ran, an outside interference, if you would. Unlikely, as this lab is state of the art and built precisely to be a sterile environment in which to do testing. So that means that—“

“That means that the experiments that I ran at the start of this whole thing weren’t completely free of outside contamination. And since I have no idea what that contamination was, the results and everything based on them are useless,” Lyra said bitterly. “Weeks of work, down the drain. Buck it. I give up.”

“No, don’t do that!” Twilight said, sounding alarmed. “If we can just figure out what that contamination was, then we can adjust the rest of the figures. Maybe. Where did you hold you initial experiments?”

“My basement.”

“Oh. And what precautions did you take to keep contamination out?”

“None. I just rushed in without thinking about that. As usual.”

“Oh. Well then, it’s no wonder your results got skewed. Seriously, the testing environment is one of the first things you should consider when beginning a new project. You really should have thought harder about—“

“Twi!” I yelled. When she whirled to face me, I said “I think Lyra feels bad enough already.”

“Oh,” Twilight said in a small voice. “I’m sorry, Lyra. I didn’t mean to rub it in like that. Forgive me?”

“Yeah, whatever. It doesn’t matter,” Lyra said, not looking up from the ground. “I guess I just wasted a lot of time going after a wild goose chase.”

“No!” Twilight said sharply, catching the rest of us by surprise. “Your figures may be off, but that doesn’t mean that your work is useless! There’s a lot of potential there, you just need to make sure your tests are sound. Tell you what, I’ll let you use my lab, as so long as you are careful. That way you can make sure your results are sound.”

“But I don’t know how to use half the stuff in here…” Lyra said, but her voice had a hopeful tinge to it.

Twilight smiled gently. “I’ll show you, okay? There’s still some daylight left, so we should have plenty of time.”

Lyra sniffed, but she stood a little straighter. “All right. Sorry, Rarity, I guess our meeting is canceled for today. Rain check?”

Rarity nodded. “Sure thing, Lyra,” she said. “After all, if you are starting from scratch, then you can hardly give me any specifications. I understand. Now, Twilight,” she said, turning to the mare in question, “I came here to talk with you, but I suppose you will be busy with Lyra. Is there another time we could talk?”

Twilight rubbed her chin. “Well, Rainbow and I are going to hang out pretty much all day tomorrow, so how about the day after?” she asked.

“That sounds lovely. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to be in my idea room for the rest of the day, seeing as I have a blank schedule now. See you the day after tomorrow, if not actually tomorrow,” the white unicorn said, turning tail and trotting up the stairs.

“See you then, Rarity!” Twilight called up after her. She then faced me. “What are your plans for the rest of the day, Rainbow?”

“Nothing, really. I was just going to keep reading that book. It’s actually fascinating,” I said.

“Well, then, how about you spend the night?” Twilight asked.

I nodded. “Sure. I’ll go set up the guest bed.”

“Really!?” Lyra blurted out. Twilight gave her a strange look, while I just ignored her.

I was halfway up the stairs when Twilight called after me. “Rainbow, could you do me a favor?”

“Sure!” I hollered back. “What is it?”

“Could you throw away my old prescription bottles? They’re the empty ones on the sink. The new ones are in a bag behind the side mirror. If you could just put them on the sink, that would be great,” she yelled up to me.

“Got it!” I shouted, and turned back towards the top of the stairs. The last thing I heard before I shut the door behind me was Twilight saying that the first rule of the lab was not to touch anything unless you were sure it was safe.

The second rule was the same, oddly enough, just at a higher volume.

Lyra 2

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“Careful! Careful!” I said, on the verge of biting my hoof in nervousness.

Rarity just rolled her eyes at me. “You do know we can try this more than once, right?” she asked, waving the thin strip of fabric at me.

I grimaced. “I know, I know. It’s just… you need to get that strip on perfectly.”

Rarity snorted, turning back to the mannequin. “So you keep telling me. At much higher volume levels than are good for my concentration. Seriously, darling, how do you expect me to do this with you yelling at me every time I start?” Her horn lit up, and the strip of fabric began drifting towards the cloth covered mannequin again.

My heart leapt into my throat. “Careful!” I said before I could stop myself.

Rarity nearly dropped the fabric. “Lyra…” she said, and I could hear the frustration in her voice. Then, suddenly, it turned silky sweet. “Why don’t you tell me why this strip is so important?”

Taken back by the sudden change in tone, I spluttered for a second before getting my mind in gear. “Well, that strip is made of the same woven mithril and cloth blend as the rest of the suit is, so it has the same magical properties. And since the mithril cloth blend is too inflexible for stitching, the thread you used has to be covered so any corrosive magics that the suit might be exposed to won’t eat though it. That’s why you’re gluing the strip over the stitching and hey you finished!”

Rarity just stood by our finished product, smirking at me. “It was easy once you stopped yelling at me,” she said. “And I am sorry about tricking you, but you did need to focus on something other than what was happening.”

“Right, sorry,” I said, laughing.

After my laughter had died away, we both took a step back and gazed at our creation. The form of it wasn’t going to win any fashion contests, that’s for sure. It looked more like a full body blanket than any sort of suit, and it was lumpy along the back to make room for the air tank. Rarity had tried her best with the color as well, but the suit’s resistance to most forms of magic included magic color change spells, and woven mithril doesn’t dye well. As a result, it was a dull green.

“Oh well,” I said out loud, “it’s not a beauty contest, so we should be fine. Right, Rarity?”

She shook her hear ruefully. “I truly am sorry, Lyra. I thought I could make something fabulous, but instead it came out looking like that.”

I laughed again. “Trust me when I say that this thing is fabulous enough as it is. Equestria’s first anti-magic contamination suit doesn’t need to care about looks. Why, with this thing I could head straight into Chernobull and back out again and be perfectly fine!”

“That place where the experimental magic reactor broke down over a hundred years ago? The one where it is still a wasteland? I thought that we already has suits that could do that.”

“No, we have vehicles that can do that,” I corrected. “This would actually let them get out of the exploratory carriage.”

“I see,” Rarity said softly. “Forgive me, Lyra, but I thought this contest was about helping society in general, not exploring hazardous areas.”

“No, you’re missing the point,” I said, frustrated. “It wouldn’t just be for exploring. Keep in mind that it is resistant to most types of magic. It could come in handy for getting into areas where ponies are in danger from any sort of magical accident. Think of it like a firepony’s suit, but built to resist magic instead of flames.”

“Oh, now I get it,” Rarity exclaimed. “And with how frequently magical mishaps happen, having a suit or two on hand in every town would cut down on fatalities quite a bit, hopefully. But isn’t this a little… primitive? After all, we did just throw this together over the course of a week.”

“Right now it’s just a proof of concept. Hopefully the judges or one of the sponsors will be impressed with my new blend of cloth. Really, it’s the only thing about this that would be interesting from a scientific standpoint. I mean, it’s not like the construction is particularly impressive.”

I realized what I said about half a second after I said it.

“Not that I’m saying that you didn’t do a good job!” I said hastily. “You just didn’t have enough time to make it actually good! … Oh, I didn’t mean it like—“

“I know what you meant by it, Lyra,” Rarity said, teeth grinding. “Has anypony ever told you that you have an alarming tendency to put your hoof in your mouth?”

I winced, my ears folding back. “Yeah. Bonnie tells me so all the time. I guess I just have a habit of speaking before I think. Sorry.”

“Well, keep that in mind when we present this thing,” Rarity said, pointing to our creation. “It would be quite damaging to our presentation if you insulted one of the judges.”

“I know, I know. Now then, do you think the glue has had time to dry?”

“Well, I used only the best fast drying glue, so it should be finished by now,” Rarity said, peering at the strip. “Ah, yes. It appears to have dried.”

“Great!” I said, clapping my hooves together in excitement. “Help me pack it up. I need to get it to Twilight’s so that we can do one last round of testing.”

“More testing? It seems like you’ve spent every day of the past three weeks in Twilight’s lab, testing the thing. Is it really necessary to do even more testing?”

I laughed. “Well, if there is one thing that my mistake taught me, it’s that you can never be too thorough when testing. I don’t want to find out that I’ve wasted weeks of work… again.”

Rarity nodded. “Very well. I suppose you are the scientist out of the two of us. Just give my regards to Twilight. I do hope she is feeling better.”

“Yeah, she felt pretty crummy for about a week. Last time I talked to her she said she was feeling better, so that’s good. Now, let’s get this packed up so I can take it to the lab. Oh, but I need to stop by Bonnie’s first.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow at me. “Why?” she asked as our horns lit up in unison.

“I just need to pick up my overnight bag, that’s all.”

“You’re spending the night at Twilight’s? Again? How does Bon Bon feel about that?”

I stole a glance at Rarity as we carefully folded the suit into a large duffle bag. “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Rarity said slowly, “I happen to know that she has been feeling a little neglected lately, with you spending so much time at Twilight’s.”

“Oh, I know,” I said, grinning at her. “That’s why I’ve booked our hotel in Canterlot for an extra week after the final presenting of projects. We can have a week just to sightsee, together.”

“Oh, and when does this contest start?”

“A week and a half.”

“Oh, that soon? I’ll need to book my own hotel room sometime soon then.”

“Better sooner than later,” I said, as we delicately stuffed the last of the suit into the bag. “Well then, I should get going.”

“Right then. Have a good time with all of your testing,” Rarity said, levitating the duffle bag onto my back.

I nodded back, then turned and made my way out of Rarity’s shop.


I was surprised to find the door unlocked. I was sure that I had locked it that morning when I had headed out to Rarity’s. I cautiously entered the house, just in case there was an intruder.

“Hello?” I called cautiously, doing my best to ignore how similar to a horror story this was getting. Just don’t think about some masked maniac hiding in the closet… too late.

“Lyra?” called a soft voice from the kitchen, and I nearly jumped out of my fur in surprise. “Is that you?” the voice asked as I struggled to get my breathing back under control.

“Sure is, Bonnie,” I wheezed as I pulled myself into the kitchen where Bonnie was sitting at the table. “What are you doing home? Shouldn’t you be at the shop? I mean, it isn’t Sunday…”

“I’m on my lunch break. I always come back home to eat, remember? Or has it been so long since you last spent some time with me that you forgot?” she asked, but her smile was good natured, so I figured she was just teasing.

“I do have vague memories of having a marefriend, but it’s been so long… I can hardly remember what she looks like. Do you happen to know, miss?” I said, playing along.

Bonnie snorted. “Get over here and kiss me before you head back out to Twilight’s.”

I obliged happily. After the kiss broke, we spent a peaceful moment just staring into each other’s eyes.

Compared to all the rushing and testing that I had had to do over the past three weeks, a calm moment like that felt like it had been sent by Celestia herself.

Unfortunately, that moment couldn’t last forever. Bonnie broke it by looking at the clock and sighing. “Sorry, Lyra, but I have to get going. I have about ten minutes before the shop has to open again.”

I nodded regretfully. “I know. I have to get going too. I just came by to pick up my overnight bag.”

“Overnight bag, huh…” Bonnie muttered under her breath. “So you won’t be home tonight again?” she asked, and I could see a bit of pain in her eyes.

“Sorry,” I said. “Hey, at least we’ll have that week in Canterlot together, right?”

“I know, and that’s one of the things that’s keeping me from being mad at you.”

“’One’? What are the others?”

Bonnie smiled. “Just seeing how passionate you are about this. I always knew you were smart, but you always seemed to lack some drive. You would always give up after hitting that first little hill on whatever project you started on. But for you to stick it out after having so much of your work turn out to be worthless… it reminds me why I fell in love with you.”

I laughed. “And here I thought that it was my good looks that got you!”

“Please, if I wanted looks without brains I would cuddle up with some Canterlot noble.”

“So, you love me because I’m the complete package then?” I felt my chest begin to swell up with happiness.

Bonnie fixed me with a level glare. “Don’t get too big a head. You have to remember that I’m speaking from a very biased point of view. And isn’t that a bad thing, miss scientist?”

“Don’t care right now!” I said in a sing-song tone.

“Heh,” Bonnie said, before giving a sudden start. “Shoot, I’ve got to get going. I put your overnight bag by the door. You must have walked right by it when you came in,” she said as she dropped her dirty plate into the sink.

“Did you happen to—“ I began, but Bonnie cut me off.

“Yes, I did put your magic suppression pills back in. Wouldn’t want you to forget and get another migraine like last time, would we?”

“You’re the best, Bonnie,” I said, feeling relived. “Love you!” I called after her as she rushed out the door.

“Love you too!” she called back.

I chuckled, and trotted into the entrance hall. Just like Bonnie had said, my overnight bag was right by the door. I snagged it on my way out and, as soon as I had finished making sure the door was locked, set off in the direction of Twilight’s library.


I knocked on the door to Twilight’s library, and was only mildly surprised when it was Rainbow who opened it. The two of us had seen each other a lot while I had been working with Twilight, and once Twilight got sick, Rainbow had been over even more frequently, literally hovering around to see if there was anything she could do to help her marefriend.

It was sweet, if a little misguided. After all, Twilight had gone to Nurse Redheart, and had been told it was just a passing bug. All Twilight needed to do was rest and drink lots of fluids. But Rainbow had insisted on staying and helping to the best of her abilities.

I’m not sure if it was the rest or just being in the presence of her marefriend, but Twilight had felt better almost immediately.

“Hey, Rainbow,” I said stepping inside. “How is… what the hey?” Whatever I had been about to ask was blasted from my mind as a wave of heat hit me. “Why is it so hot in here?”

Rainbow just glanced behind her. I stepped to the side to look around her and felt my jaw drop.

“Rainbow… how long has that fireplace been there?”

“About 15 minutes. Twilight did some sort of spell to make it.”

I whistled. A spell like that would take a ton of juice. There was no way an average unicorn like me could pull it off. Just goes to show how powerful Twilight is, I guess.

But more importantly…

“Why is there a fireplace there? I know it’s getting towards fall, but it’s still nowhere near cold enough for a fire,” I said as I stepped into the library in full, setting the duffle bag and my saddlebags off out of the way. It felt like I was walking into a sauna.

“I like it!” Spike called from by the fire.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why Twilight thought it would be a good time for this,” she said, and I noticed beads of sweat forming on her forehead. “She just made it and then put us on ‘fireplace duty.’ We’re supposed to make sure that it doesn’t get out of control.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but at that instant, Twilight came marching into the room from her lab. She looked better than she had been when she was sick, but she still didn’t look like she was back up to full. Her mane and tail, in particular, looked like she had rolled out of bed without bothering to comb them.

The instant she saw me, she paused for a second, then made her way over to me.

“Hey, Twilight,” I said. “What’s up with the fire? It’s making it sort of unbearable in here.”

“Lyra…” Twilight said, looking very serious. “Could you please tell me what these are?” she asked, holding a stack of papers in her magic.

“Um, sure,” I said, taking them and looking at them. “Wow, Twilight, this is complex stuff. I mean, this is your project for the contest, right? I don’t think that I have a chance if this is the amount of work you put into it.”

“Yes, it is my project for the contest. I put a lot of work into it,” she said without any particular expression. “Do you know what it is above all else, though?”

“No?” I said, unsure of where she was going with this.

“It is, above all else…” she said, taking the papers back. “Completely…”

And then she threw the stack of research that she had spent months on into the fire.

“Worthless,” Twilight finished in a tone of complete satisfaction as Rainbow, Spike and I stood with our mouths agape.

I was the first one to find my voice. “Um, you did have a back-up copy or two, right Twilight?”

“What do you think I used to start the fire?”

I turned to the purple unicorn, who was just standing there calmly, as if she hadn’t of just destroyed months of possibly world shaking research.

“Then, why?” Rainbow asked, her voice shaking.

“Why don’t you ask Lyra?” Twilight said, a hard edge creeping into her voice.

“Huh? Me?” I stuttered. “Twilight, I don’t—“

“Don’t lie!” Twilight yelled. “I know what you did! You and Rarity. You must have talked her into this!”

“Um, what do you mean, Twilight?” Spike asked, shooting me a look.

“They’ve been sneaking into my lab at night and sabotaging my notes!” Twilight shouted, now glaring at me.

Silence fell over the library.

“No!” I protested when I found my voice. “I would never do a thing like that!”

“Stop lying! Please, just stop…” Twilight said, now sounding on the verge of tears. “I know you’ve been doing it. Just admit it.”

“But I haven’t!” I yelled, confused at where she had gotten the idea. “You know me! We’ve been working together for the past three weeks! You know I would never do a thing like that!”

“Yes, and I thought I had finally found a new friend. I guess I was wrong though,” Twilight spat, tears now flowing down her face.

“Look, let’s think about this rationally. How did you find out about this, Twilight? I mean, did you catch her in the act or something?” Spike asked, stepping between the two of us.

“Celestia told me in a dream!” Twilight yelled, gesturing wildly.

“Celestia? Don’t you mean Luna?” Rainbow asked.

“No! Don’t you understand? Luna is in on this whole thing. As a matter of fact, I bet that’s why Rarity went along with it! Luna must have threatened her. It all makes sense!” Twilight said triumphantly.

I sat down hard, dumbfounded. The heat and the accusation were making me dizzy. “No… that doesn’t make sense at all, Twilight. What’s gotten into you? You’re acting crazy.”

I heard Spike and Rainbow suck in breaths at exactly the same time, but I was too focused on Twilight to care. I dimly heard Spike excuse himself and rush up to the stairs to the living quarters.

“Twilight,” Rainbow said in a firm voice. “Please calm down. We can talk this out, okay? Why don’t we call the guard and have them listen to what’s going on? That way they can stop this from escalating.”

“No time, Rainbow,” Twilight said, waving a hoof dismissively in her direction, a smile that was entirely too wide on her face now. “I’ve got to find some mare’s root. That’s the only thing that can help me redo my project in time for the competition.”

Rainbow and I realized what she was saying at almost the same time. “No, wait!” we yelled at exactly the same time.

Twilight didn’t listen, and she vanished with a pop.

Rainbow swore.

There was a scuffling noise, and Spike almost fell into the room, clutching a rainbow colored rock in his hand. “I’ve got it!” he said, panting. “Um… where did she go?”

“She went to get some mare’s root,” I said numbly.

“Um… what’s mare’s root?” Spike asked.

“It’s an old Ponyville legend. Eating it supposedly make you super smart. But it’s just a legend…” I said.

“So then, she’s out looking for a plant that doesn’t exist? I guess it could be worse…” Spike said, almost to himself rather than me.

“According to the legend, the plant only grows deep in the Everfree Forest,” I said, still feeling numb.

Spike went pale.

Rainbow swore again.

Rainbow Dash 10

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I swore again.

“Will somepony tell me what the hey is going on?” Lyra demanded. “Why was Twilight acting like that? She can’t really believe that Rarity and I would do that… could she?”

“Spike…” I said, ignoring Lyra, “How did you miss this? I mean, you’ve lived with Twilight for years! How did you not see this coming?”

Spike looked taken back for a second, then he glared at me. “You’re one to talk, Rainbow! You spent practically every day with her when she was sick. So tell me, how did you not see this coming?”

“Listen, twerp, she spent most of the time resting, so there wasn’t anything to see!”

“Right. That actually reminds me, who was the one who was supposed to get rid of her old medicine bottles and put the new ones on the shelf? Oh, that’s right, you! Tell me how you managed to screw that up!”

“Why, you little—“ I began, but a sudden shout interrupted me.

“Enough!” Lyra yelled. “I don’t know what’s going on, but hoof and claw pointing is not going to solve it! Rainbow…” she said, turning to me, “if what you said about Twilight resting most of the time is true, then there wouldn’t be any warning signs of whatever for Spike to miss. And Spike…” she said, turning her attention to the small dragon, “Unless Twilight can’t tell the difference between empty and full bottles, I don’t think Rainbow could have messed that up. So let’s stop fighting, and actually do something useful, okay?”

“Right, sorry,” I said at the same time Spike said “Of course, you’re right.”

“So, for the first step… will somepony please tell me what is going on?” Lyra pleaded. “I assume that it has something to do with those medicine bottles that Spike mentioned.”

“Later,” I said, clenching my eyes shut as I tried to think up a plan.

“But—“ Lyra protested

My frustration boiled over again. “LATER!” I roared.

“Actually, I can bring you up to speed quickly, Lyra,” Spike said, ignoring the glare I was sending him for interrupting my thinking. “I’m going to make sure that Twilight got the right meds, and Lyra can come with me while I tell her what’s happening. In the meantime, Rainbow, I want you to head to the guard station. Get them to spread out and search for Twilight. And keep an eye out for her on your way there. Can you do that?”

“Can I—yes, of course I can,” I said. “But are you really going to tell Lyra everything?”

“Just what she needs to know,” Spike assured me. “Now go!”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I flew out the front door as fast as I could, making it rattle on its hinges.


Unfortunately, even with the bright afternoon sun shining down on the town, I didn’t spot Twilight as I raced to the guard station.

This wasn’t the time to be cursing my luck, however. I skidded into the guard station, narrowly avoiding crashing into the front desk.

“What in Equestria!?” the receptionist, a pale mare with at blue mane yelled as I struggled to catch my breath.

“No time… I need to talk to the captain… quickly!” I managed to get out between great big gulps of air.

The receptionist just stared at me.

“Now!” I yelled, and that seemed to startle her out of her trance.

“Rainbow? Rainbow Dash? What’s going on?” she asked, and the last of my patience snapped.

“Did I stutter? I said I need to talk to the captain now! Or do you have wax in your ears?” I snapped at her. It wasn’t the best thing to do under the circumstances, but I was panicking and frustrated.

The receptionist bristled. “Now see here—“ she began, but I tuned the rest of her sentence out as I turned and rushed into the heart of the station.

“Captain! Captain Stone Wall! I need to talk to you!” I yelled into every open door I could find, hoping the captain would respond to his name at least.

I finally got lucky and found him in some sort of break room, sipping at a cup of what I assumed was coffee. He set it down slowly and sighed. “Can I help you, Rainbow, or do you want to yell at Miss Files some more?” the stereotypically white coated and blue maned unicorn asked in a tired tone.

“Listen, Captain, I need you to set up a search party and head into the Everfree Forest! Twilight is in there, and she needs help!” I said, thankful that somepony was listening to me.

Captain Stone Wall frowned. “What makes you think that? From everything I’ve seen about that pony, she wouldn’t head into the Forest without making a plan and at least two backup plans in case of trouble. Besides, isn’t she powerful enough to handle anything that comes her way?”

“Yes, normally, but she isn’t in her right mind right now!” I said desperately.

The captain raised an eyebrow at me. “Not in her right mind? What do you mean?”

My mind ground to a halt. What was I supposed to say here? I didn’t want to spill Twilight’s secret, but she could be in danger…

“I can’t tell you,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t push the matter further.

His other eyebrow raised in surprise. “You… won’t tell me?”

“Can’t,” I corrected through gritted teeth.

The captain stared at me for another beat, then looked over my shoulder and spoke to the receptionist that I hadn’t noticed following me. “You heard her,” he said. “Get the rest of the stallions ready, and make sure that they are trained in submission holds, and get them to bring the anti-teleportation net. We have a possibly violent pony lost in the Everfree.”

I dimly heard the pony behind me leave, but all of my focus was on the captain. “Submission holds? Anti-teleportation net!? What in Tartarus are you thinking!?” I shrieked.

“Some drugs can make junkies violent, you know,” he said casually, as if he was discussing what he had had for lunch.

“J—junkie!? You… you son of a—“

The captain cut me off before I could finish telling him to buck himself. “The first thing I’m going to do when we do find Twilight is order a drug test. I don’t care how many times she’s saved the world, illegal is still illegal, do you understand me, Rainbow?”

Calm down, Rainbow. Count to ten. Take in a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Stop fantasizing about rearranging his face. That won’t help Twilight. “You know what? Fine. Do your stupid drug test. As long as you get Twilight back safe, I don’t care.”

“Just so you know,” Stone Wall said, still in the same infuriatingly casual voice, “depending on what the drug test results are, you could be charged as an accomplice. However… if you come clean now and tell us what Twilight was having some…’recreational time’ with, I can put in a good word for you.”

“Just shut up and find her, okay?” I growled.

Stone Wall sighed. “Fine, play it your way,” he said as he brushed by me, yelling at every pony he could to follow him to the briefing room.

I, meanwhile, just stood there, incredibly angry at Stone Wall, incredibly frightened for Twilight, and at a complete loss for what to do next.

I mean, I did do the right thing, didn’t I? Twilight’s drug test would show… show what? I didn’t even know if the meds that Twilight was taking would show up on a drug test. And what if they did? Would they still be trying to claim that she was some sort of druggie? Or would they be understanding? And what if—

Just as my thoughts were spiraling out of control, there was an incredibly large bang, and Lyra and Spike appeared in a flash of pale green light, both looking singed.

“Absolute last time I teleport with an amateur,” Spike mumbled, swaying on his feet.

“At least I got us here,” Lyra retorted, her eyes unfocused.

“Lyra! Spike!” I shouted, partially out of surprise, and partially out of relief. “Did you two find anything?”

“We, uh… we think so?” Lyra said, shaking her head back and forth hard. When she stopped, she looked much less dazed.

“What do you mean, you ‘think so’? Did you find anything or not!?”

“What we found, Rainbow, is that it looks like she did get the right drugs,” Spike said. “But—“

“Looks like?” I said. “Could you two stop dancing around the question and give me a straight answer?”

“Calm down, Rainbow! We’re all on the same side here, so stop snapping at us!” Spike yelled. I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, he continued. “When I looked at the meds that she had, I didn’t see anything immediately out of the ordinary… but then Lyra looked at them and… well…”

“I take the same magic suppressor as Twilight, this thing called Merlinite, but at a much lower dose. Just enough to prevent some headaches. But when I looked at the suppressor that Twilight took, they looked completely different,” Lyra said, picking up exactly where Spike had left off.

“So somepony did mess with her drugs!” I shouted, feeling anger surge in my chest.

“Rainbow, will you just calm down!? All we know is that it is a possibility! Maybe Twilight’s drug was a generic, or maybe different doses look different. We don’t know!” Spike said, frustration coloring his voice.

“But I bet I know somepony who does,” I said, an idea flying into my head. “Do you have her drugs with you right now?”

“I do,” Lyra said. Her horn lit up and a trio of medicine bottles floated out of the saddlebags that I had just now noticed she was wearing. “What are you going to do with—hey!?”

I didn’t even wait for her to finish. I grabbed the bottles and flew out the nearest window.


“Doctor Hooves! Are you in here?” I shouted as I nearly knocked down the door to his office.

He was, but he just stared at me. “Rainbow… I’m with a client right now,” he said, pointing to a brown mare who looked like she had just stopped crying. “Can’t this wait?”

I shook my head. “No, it can’t! It’s about Twilight!”

The doctor just raised an eyebrow. “Listen, I’d like to help, but I haven’t seen Twilight in the last couple of weeks. I was out of town, and when I got back, she sent word that she wasn’t feeling well enough to see me. So I can’t really—“

I practically shoved the medicine bottles down his throat. “Shut up, and just check to make sure that these at Twilight’s meds. It’s really important.”

“All right, all right,” he said, then turned to the mare sitting on the couch in the room. “Polaris, do you mind waiting for a moment?” he asked, and, after she nodded, he turned his attention to the bottles that I was holding. After studying them for a moment, he nodded. “Well they all have her name on them, and those are the doses I prescribed. I don’t see anything obviously wrong.”

“You haven’t even opened them! Check the pills!” I all but shouted at him.

“Fine!” he snapped back, and opened one of the bottles. He frowned. “This doesn’t look like… where is… aha!” he said, turning the pill over in his hoof. I followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at a series of numbers and letter imprinted on the pill.

“What are those? “ I asked.

“That’s the serial number for the pills. Some medicines look the same, so you need to look at the serial number to tell some apart,” he said.

“So, is that the right pill?”

“I haven’t actually memorized all the serial numbers for every single medicine and dose out there, Rainbow. Give me a second, and I can check my book,” he said, turning to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. He grabbed a book off the shelf, and after a moment of looking at the pill, began flipping through the pages.

I stood there, anxiously shifting my weight from leg to leg.

Suddenly, the doctor’s eyes widened. “What the hey!?” he shouted, sounding shocked.

“What? What is it!?” I asked, trying to peek over his shoulder. All I could see on the page he was looking at was a bunch of codes in a list titled ‘placebo’. “What in Equestria is a placebo?”

“It’s just a sugar pill,” Doctor Hooves said, sounding numb. “It’s used in medical testing because it has absolutely no medical effect on its own.”

My stomach dropped. “Check the other two, check the other two!” I urged him.

“Right,” he said, and he popped the top off of both remaining bottles. After taking the time to look at the codes printed on the pills, he glanced back at the book. “These are placebos too! How did this happen?”

“Never mind that right now, doctor. I need to know what this means for Twilight!” I demanded.

Doctor Hooves didn’t seem to hear me. “So that’s why she was feeling sick! The withdrawal! But… oh no…” He turned to me and asked “Her sickness, did it get worse? Is she in the hospital now?” There was panic in his voice.

“I think she’s fine, at least physically,” I said. “But mentally she’s—“

I suddenly remembered that we weren’t alone in the room. I glanced guiltily at the mare sitting on the sofa, who had been watching the exchange with wide eyes.

“Don’t worry, I can guess,” Doctor Hooves said. “Did you get her under control?”

“Um… no. But I got the town guard to organize a search of the Everfree, so…”

“A search!? Of the Everfree!?” the doctor shouted. He turned to the mare on the couch. “Polaris, I’m very sorry, but I need to go. Our session was almost over, I know, but I won’t be billing you for this session. In fact, as an apology, I won’t charge you for the next one as well.”

“Oh, okay,” the mare on the sofa said in a hesitant voice. “This sounds important.”

“Thank you,” the doctor said. “Now, Rainbow, where is Spike at? And for that matter, does he have the magic suppression stone with him? Why didn’t he use it? And—“

Oh, I so do not have time for twenty questions. “Everypony is at the guard station! Spike can explain more when you get there. I’m going to go join the search!”

“Rainbow, wait!” Doctor Hooves cried, grabbing my tail before I could fly away.

I whirled around, ready to murder him if he didn’t have a good reason to stop me. “What is it?” I growled.

“At least try to coordinate with the guard! That way you can cover more ground than if you just fly around randomly,” he said, and I had to admit that that was a fair point.

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll meet you at the station. Now let go!”

He did so, and I zoomed off to find the captain and make myself part of the search team.


“Absolutely not,” Stone Wall said.

Of course it wouldn’t be that simple. “Why not!? I can cover more ground faster than any of your fliers, so why can’t I be part of your—“

“First of all, because you’re a civilian who doesn’t know our search pattern at all, so you would just get in the way,” the captain replied, speaking to me as if I was a child. “And second, because I don’t want to give you the chance to hide any evidence of wrongdoing. The whole town knows you and Twilight are an item, and in my experience, ponies are more than happy to circumvent the law to keep their loved ones out of trouble.”

I nearly kicked a hole into the wall of the briefing room. “But she shouldn’t be in trouble! If anything, she’s the victim here!”

The captain just sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “Listen, Rainbow, until I get information otherwise, I tend to go with the simplest explanation. You said Twilight needs to be found and helped, but you won’t tell me why. The fact that you said she’s not in her right mind tells me that something mind altering is at play, and the fact that you won’t tell me what it is tells me that it is probably illegal. Unless you want to tell me what exactly is going on, I can’t let you help.”

Great. Bucking perfect. Now I have to choose between sitting on my plot and doing nothing, and betraying one of Twilight’s deepest secrets. Fun, fun, fun.

Still, the captain did bring up a good point. I looked over at the other pegasus in the room, who was studying some papers, presumably on his search area. I had no idea what sort of search they would be conducting. It would probably be from the air, but I had no idea if they divided the forest up into units, or started at one end and went to the other, or even some other pattern I hadn’t thought of.

I stalked out of the briefing room, feeling defeated. Spike and Lyra immediately ran up to me.

“How is the search going?” Spike asked, worry clear in his voice.

“It’s just getting underway, but they won’t let me in on it. They think that Twilight might have been taking something illegal, and that I’m some sort of accomplice,” I said, and I was surprised how tired my voice sounded.

“What!? But Twilight would never take something illegal!” Spike said.

I waved a hoof back at the room I had just exited. “Tell them that.”

“Perhaps… I could…” said a breathless voice.

Spike, Lyra and I spun around and saw Doctor Hooves standing in the entrance to the back of the station, painting for breath. “Rainbow, you… idiot…” he gasped. “You should have… taken me with you to the station… I had to gallop all the way across town.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said. “What do you mean, ‘you could’?”

“I could talk to them, and clear Twilight of wrongdoing,” he said, his breathing finally back under control.

“Really?” I asked, my chest suddenly feeling a tiny bit less tight. “How?”

“I’ll just tell them the truth,” Doctor Hooves said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “I’ll tell them that there was a mix-up with Twilight’s medication, and that she’s acting this way because of that. I don’t have any reason to lie, so they should believe me.”

“Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much,” I said.

“Don’t mention it,” the doctor said absentmindedly. He looked over my shoulder, and when he saw the captain, he walked into the briefing room. Spike, Lyra and I followed him.

The doctor started talking to the captain, but my attention was drawn by the chalkboard that had been set up. There was a list of names and numbers on it. I assumed that it was the assignments for searching the Everfree. Hopefully somepony would find Twilight soon.

“She was taking a magic suppressor called Merlinite!” Lyra said suddenly, pulling my attention from the chalkboard.

I looked over just in time to see Doctor Hooves give Lyra a glare. “As I was saying,” he said pointedly, “I am not at liberty to discuss what she was taking or why she was taking it.”

Lyra looked a little ashamed, but Captain Stone Wall looked thoughtful. “Merlinite, huh? Miss Files!” he called. “Could you dig up that case from last week? The one about an overdose on magic suppressors? That might have something to do with what’s going on right now.”

“Understood!” the receptionist yelled back from behind her desk. She got up and trotted purposefully over to a door, unlocked it, and vanished into it.

“Now then, this changes my plan a bit. I see that Spike has a magic suppressor stone over there. I assume that it came from Twilight’s lab, correct?” Stone Wall asked.

Close enough. “Yes,” I answered.

“Good. Here’s the new plan. Rainbow, I want you to wait here until—“

“Now hold on just a minute! I—“ I began to protest, but the captain cut me off.

“Until…” he repeated, more forcefully. “Until one of our flyers spots Twilight. Then I want you to fly in and try to lead her out of the forest. If she really isn’t in her right mind, she probably wouldn’t take too well to seeing a squad of guards run up to her. She might follow you, though.”

I nodded. That plan might work, hopefully. “Okay, what then?”

“Then, when you get out of the forest, I want you to crush that stone. She’s too powerful right now for us to try to subdue her. After that, we get her to the hospital, so they can take care of her. Does that sound good to everypony?” Stone Wall asked.

“Why lead her out before crushing the stone?” Lyra asked.

“Because I don’t want my stallions in the Everfree Forest without their magic. Too many nasty things in there,” the captain said

“That makes sense, I guess,” I muttered. There was too much waiting in that plan for my taste, but I don’t think I could have come up with something better.

“As long as there are no objections… Star Chaser!”

The other pegasus in the room stood at attention. “Yes sir! Do you want me to spread word to the other guards?”

Stone Wall grinned. “One step ahead, as always. That is precisely what I want you to do. As fast as possible, please.”

“Yes sir!” Star Chaser said, then zoomed out of the room.

“Now… we just wait, is that it?” I asked to nopony in particular.

Nopony said anything.

The time passed slowly.

Incredibly slowly.

“Spike,” I said, desperate to have something going on, even if it was just a conversation, “did you send word to Princess Celestia? She might be helpful…”

Spike nodded. “I did, but she’s in the middle of day court right now. I don’t know how long it will take her to respond.”

“Oh, okay. Shouldn’t you have some way to mark it as urgent?” I asked.

“We should, but… I guess we just never got around to it. I mean, last time this happened should have been a wakeup call, but Celestia got down here as soon as day court ended, so we didn’t really think about it much after that.”

“Well—“ I started to say, but I was interrupted by one of the guard pegasi marching into the room.

“We found her!” he announced. “She’s in a clearing not far from the entrance to the forest. She appears to be examining the foliage, for some reason.”

“Oh, thank Celestia and Luna,” I breathed. At least she wasn’t hurt.

“Excellent job. Now I want you to lead Rainbow to her, and then I want you to get the rest of the guard ready at the entrance to the forest. Spike, come with me and bring that stone,” Stone Wall barked out in a commanding voice.

Spike nodded, and I turned to the guard that had just entered the room. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

The guard nodded, and then the two of us turned and rushed out of the room.

Twilight Sparkle

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No, that one wasn’t it… neither is that one… not this one either.

Dang, mare’s root was turning out harder to find than I thought. I mean, it was supposed to match, in the eyes of the pony viewing it, the color of their coat, so you would think it would be easy to find, but…

Oh well, I hadn’t been looking for that long, anyways. It had only been… what, an hour? Maybe two? At this point I had completely lost track of time. I glanced up at the sky. What I could see through the trees was still blue, so it must have still been daylight. Still plenty of time left to find that plant.

Not that it mattered. I needed to find that plant at all costs. I wouldn’t be able to finish my research without the intelligence boosting aspects of it, and I’d rather chew off my own leg than let Lyra win after what she had done.

“Twilight! Where are you!?”

My ears perked up as I heard the sound of my name. It sounded like…

“Rainbow Dash! Is that you?” I called in the direction that the voice had come from.

“Twilight!? Oh, thank Celestia!” Rainbow said as she burst out from between two trees. “Are you all right?”

I smiled. That was just like Rainbow, always worried about me. I was so happy that she was unerringly on my side. Especially after what my other so-called friends had done. “I’m fine, Rainbow, just a little frustrated. I can’t find that plant anywhere. Could you help me look?”

“We don’t have time for that, Twilight! We need to get you to the guard station, right away!” Rainbow said, a note of panic in her voice.

I tilted my head to the side, puzzled. “Why?”

“To get you help!”

“Rainbow, unless the guards are going to help me look for mare’s root, I don’t need any help. But now that you’re here—“

“Yes, they’ll help you with anything you need! You… uh… you just need to come with me! Then you can tell all of them what it looks like, then they can help you look!” Rainbow said, her voice still edgy for some reason.

I clapped my hooves together in cheer. “Great, but I have a better idea! You can go tell them what mare’s root looks like, while I keep looking! You already know where the guards are gathered, and you’re faster than me, so that way we get the maximum number of eyes searching in the least amount of time!” I said, grateful to Rainbow for setting this all up.

“No! I need you to come with me! Listen, Twi, please just come with me! You’re not thinking right, and you need to get help!”

Okay, I was starting to get a little annoyed. “Rainbow, I know I was upset at what Lyra and Rarity had done, but I’ve put that out of my mind for the moment. I just need to find that plant and everything will be all right. We can talk to the guard about what the two of them did later.”

“That’s… argh, that’s not what I mean. I just need you to…” Rainbow suddenly trailed off. Her eyes went out of focus for a second, but then she looked at me determinedly. “Okay, fine. Twilight, I think I saw the plant at the edge of the forest. If you follow me, I can take you to it.”

My eyes widened. “You saw it? Are you sure that it was mare’s root? You know, it’s supposed to look different for everypony that sees it. For you it would look mostly blue, with a rainbow flower. Does that sound like what you saw?”

“Yeah, blue with a rainbow flower. That’s… uh, that’s exactly what I saw. Follow me and I’ll take you right to it. Just, stay close to me, please,” Rainbow said, looking at me oddly.

“Sure thing,” I said happily, and began to walk in the direction that Rainbow had come from. She scrambled a little to keep up, but soon she was walking slightly ahead of
me, glancing back at me every so often.

This was great! After what Lyra had done, I had expected to take forever to find the mare’s root and get back on track with my research. But this was a stroke of luck. I mean, with the mare’s root boosting my intelligence, I could do in a few days what had taken me weeks to do before and then I could present it to the scientific judges and they could judge it. Then Rainbow could, uh, go with me to visit my parents in Canterlot and Canterlot has good food like bread and bread is made from wheat. And the heat is made from summer and Celestia does it with the sun and Celestia would be proud of me for everything and Lyra—

“Twilight!”

“Huh?” I said, snapped out of my train of thought. “Sorry, Rainbow, I was just thinking.”

“Twilight, you stopped walking, and I’ve been trying to talk to you for, like, the last five minutes! You were muttering weird stuff, too! Are you all right?” Rainbow said, sounding panicky.

“Listen, Rainbow, I know you like to look after me, but I’m just fine. You worry too much. I’m perfectly healthy. I mean, I’m purple, right?” I said.

“Purple? What does that have to do with anything?” Rainbow asked, sounding puzzled.

I rolled my eyes. I love Rainbow and all that, but sometimes she could be frustratingly obtuse. “All purple ponies are healthy. Just like all white ones are liars, and blue ones are earth ponies.”

Rainbow glanced down at herself, then looked up at me, looking even more worried. “What… whatever you say, Twilight. C’mon, let’s talk and trot, okay?”

“Fine by me!” I said, and let her lead the way. “Let’s hurry, though, I want to get started on my research as soon as possible. I need to do it in the basement though, out of the sunlight.”

“Oh? Why?” Rainbow asked.

“Because sunlight makes everything heavier. That’s probably why I feel so good, all the shade from the trees. I mean, without all that light pushing me down, I feel so energetic!”

Rainbow gave me an unreadable look, then turned away. “You know I love you no matter what, right?” she said very quietly.

“Aww, I love—“ I stopped.

Rainbow would never say anything as mushy and sentimental as ‘I love you.’ Then why did…

Oh. Oh no.

This was an imposter.

It was the only thing that made sense. Somepony or some creature had taken Rainbow’s appearance and was using it to try to trick me.

And if I remembered correctly, this Not-Rainbow had said I love you a few weeks back. Had I really been fooled for that long?

And what happened to the real Rainbow? Was she all right? Was she d—

No! I was going to have to proceed under the assumption that Rainbow was okay. The alternative was just too much to bear.

So Rainbow was alive and well, probably being held someplace. I had to find her… and that probably meant following this imposter to wherever she wanted to take me.

Well. It wasn’t like I’ve walked into danger before. And this Not-Rainbow didn’t know I was on to her.

Just then, I caught the Not-Rainbow giving me an odd look. Shoot, I had to act normal or it would find out that I had found her out.

“I love you too, Rainbow,” I said, putting on my biggest smile despite the almost physical pain that the words caused me.

That must have satisfied the Not-Rainbow somewhat, because she gave me one last lingering look, then turned and began trotting in the same direction that she had before.

I let out a sigh of relief. That had been a close one. Who knows what she would have tried to do to me if she knew that I knew. I shuddered. Nothing pleasant came to mind.

Whatever. I had to do this, for Rainbow, the real one. I would just have to be careful.

We trotted along in silence for what seemed like hours, but I could tell that it was much shorter. The sun hadn’t moved much, from what I could see between the trees. And lack of sunlight weighing me down or not, I would have been tired after a trek through the forest for hours.

The whole time, the Not-Rainbow shot glances back at me every minute or so. It probably wanted to make sure that its prey hadn’t escaped. And every time it did, I had to act like I hadn’t been staring at it.

But I had been. I had been observing it very closely.

That had let me get a better idea of what it was. Every so often, I could see… something moving beneath the skin of the Not-Rainbow.

It was… unsettling to say the least. But it gave me a clue about what this creature might be. It suggested that this Rainbow mask was more like a suit, to be shed at the first sign of trouble. It also said that—

“We’re here,” the Not-Rainbow said, stopping suddenly.

I glanced around. We had just barely cleared the edge of the forest, with the outskirts of Ponyville within sprinting distance. “What’s here?” I asked. “I thought you were going to take me to your—I mean, the flower.” Shoot, I almost said ‘your hideout.’

“Listen, Twilight, I’m sorry about this,” the Not-Rainbow said, pulling a stone out of her mane. It was small and I think the only reason I didn’t notice it before was because it was just as multicolored as her mane. In fact, it looked like a—

“No!” I shouted, an instant before the stone was crushed and all the magic fled the area.

The loss of magic was disorienting, but fortunately not crippling. I turned and ran towards Ponyville as fast as I could, but there was a rustling in the bushes, and several stallions jumped out and blocked my path. They all wore the armor of the royal guard, but I could tell they were imposters just like the Not-Rainbow.

Because the flesh beneath their skin was twisting and writhing in a way that made me almost sick.

I changed direction as fast as I could, sprinting back at the Everfree Forest, more confident in ability to get past the single Not-Rainbow than in my ability to dart past all the Not-guards.

Unfortunately, one of the Not-guards was faster than me, and I felt a heavy weight crash into my back, pining me on the ground. I struggled, but it twisted and got my right foreleg into some kind of grip.

“Stop struggling!” it said, malevolence dripping off of every word. “You might hurt yourself,” It said, and I could taste the sarcasm dripping off of every word.

I ignored it, and fought back with all my might. It apparently didn’t like that, and gave a little twist.

My right shoulder made a popping noise, and my world became an ocean of pain.

The Not-guard sprang back, his job evidently done. I tried to pull myself to my hooves, but my right foreleg wouldn’t respond to any of my commands. I fell back to the ground, letting out a sob of pain and fear.

I didn’t want to die, but I had made so many foolish decisions. I shouldn’t have followed Not-Rainbow. I should have stopped her from crushing the stone. I should have… should have…

I was going to die.

I didn’t want to die.

I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die!

I did my best to pull every bit of magic I could together, pushing as hard as I could against the dampening effect of the stone.

It hurt. It hurt a lot, right behind my horn.

But I had to do it. The alternative was to roll over and let them do whatever they want to me.

“Some pony stop her!” I dimly heard somepony yell. I ignored them. I pulled together the components for a teleport…

There was a flash of light that blinded me.

When I opened my eyes, I found that my magic had completely deserted me, and I was still surrounded by the Not creatures. Only now, there was one that looked like Princess Celestia standing right in front of me.

“Sleep,” the Not-Celestia said, and her horn lit up.

There was a horrible pain in my head.

I screamed.

Then darkness washed over me.

Rainbow Dash 11

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“Twilight!” I yelled as I saw her collapse on the ground. I leapt into the air to rush to her side…

And found myself unable to move. I was being held in place by a golden aura.

“Let me go!” I yelled at Princess Celestia. “Twilight needs me!”

“Do not touch her,” the Princess said in a stern voice. “Her leg needs medical attention, and moving her might make it worse.”

I calmed down a hair. That was a good point. “Fine,” I said, “but I’m not leaving her side.”

“I may need you to, in order to find out what happened here,” Princess Celestia said. “In the meantime… Captain Stone Wall!”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Stone Wall barked, standing at attention and saluting. “What do you need?”

“I assume that one of your guards is medically trained, correct?” When Stone Wall nodded, the Princess continued, “Have your medic check Twilight’s leg to determine the extent of the injury, and have your fastest courier fly to the hospital. Tell them that we have a pony that is injured and will be unconscious for at least the next twelve hours.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” the captain said again, then turned and began barking orders at his guards.

I shot a glance at the Princess. “Twelve hours? Was that long really necessary?”

Princess Celestia sighed. “It may have been a tad more powerful than absolutely necessary, but I did not want her waking up on the way to the hospital. Not in her current state of mind.”

“I guess that makes sense,” I said grudgingly, looking at the pony delicately checking on Twilight’s leg. Eventually, he stood up and made his way over to the captain and exchanged a few words with him. Stone Wall shook his head, then made his way over to where the Princess and I were looking on.

He started to open his mouth, but then he paused, looking at me. “Um, you may need to leave, Rainbow. I’m unsure of the protocol in a case like this, seeing as how Twilight has done nothing illegal except resist arrest, but we aren’t allowed to disclose the details of injuries to a pony in the guard’s custody to anypony but family.”

“But I’m her marefriend!” I protested, feeling my anger rise again.

“But you aren’t married, correct?” Stone Wall said calmly.

I opened my mouth to protest, but Princess Celestia spoke over me. “As the High Princess of Equestria, I hereby give you permission to share the details of Twilight Sparkle’s injuries with Rainbow Dash. Now, captain, how bad is it?”

“Um, well,” the captain stuttered, suddenly looking very nervous. “Her leg is, well, broken. It was a clean break, however, so it should heal with no complications.”

Princess Celestia went very still. “How did this happen, captain?” she asked, her voice simultaneously soft and icy. “I believe that the newer submission holds were designed to prevent this.”

Stone Wall winced. “You see, it was Officer Steel Shield that tackled her. He is… not a fan of the newer submission holds, he believes that they are too easy to escape. After all, normal ponies don’t struggle so much in that sort of grip. It just plain hurts too much.”

“Well, then, see to it that he is properly disciplined and made aware that he should use the recommended procedure next time. Are we clear?” the Princess asked, and the last three words were so cold they could have frozen ice.

The captain was shaking in his horseshoes. “Yes, Ma’am! Right away Ma’am!” he stammered out with a wavering salute, then turned and hurried back to his recruits.

Celestia sighed again, and she looked incredibly tired. “I should have gotten here sooner,” she said, staring at Twilight. “I should have known something was amiss when I got Spike’s letter. It wasn’t sealed like all the others, so I should have known. I shouldn’t have finished listening to the court’s proposals before coming here…”

I suddenly felt extremely awkward, standing next to her. “So, uh, what did you need me for? If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather stay with Twilight.”

Celestia blinked at me, as if she had forgotten that I was there. “You will be able to go to her side in due time, Rainbow. The doctors won’t let anypony in while they splint her leg, after all. First, however, I would like to know what occurred. Spike’s letter was sorely lacking in information.”

“I see,” I said. That was another good point. “Well, it started when Twilight got sick a few weeks ago…”

When I finished telling her what had happened, Celestia’s eyes were blazing with fury. “Somepony gave her the wrong medications?” she hissed. “I will find whoever is responsible, and I will personally oversee their trial.”

I took a step back. The air had suddenly jumped up a degree or ten. “Um, well, what if it was just a mistake?” I asked.

“Reckless endangerment of equine life, and mishandling of a controlled substance,” Celestia said, her voice icy again. “Now then, Rainbow, I would like you to show me to where Twilight has her prescriptions filled.”

“Well, there is one thing that we should do first,” I said, then I nearly wilted under the weight of the Princess’s stare.

“Yes?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Stone Wall said something about another pony overdosing on magic suppressors. I mean, it could be unrelated, but…”

“I see. Captain Stone Wall!”

The captain looked pale when he stood in front of Celestia, not that I could blame him. She was scarily calm. “Yes, Ma’am?”

“Rainbow has told me that you may have a potential lead on a pony that overdosed on magic suppressors. I would like to see all the files and evidence on that,” Celestia said.

“Right away!” Stone Wall said. “All the files are at the police station, however.”

“Then lead us there,” Celestia said, her tone irritated.

“Right!” With that, the captain turned and began to trot back into town with the Princess and I right on his tail.


“Miss Files! Do you have that report ready?” Stone Wall called as soon as we entered the guard station, with the Princess having to stoop a little to keep her horn from scraping on the ceiling.

“Right here!” the secretary said, placing a plain white box on the receptionist counter. The captain reached for it, but before he could touch it, Celestia’s golden aura enveloped the box, and all of its contents flew over to the Princess.

“Allow me, please. I have quite literally been reading guard reports since before you were born,” she said, as the papers and various knick-knacks in the box hovered in front of her face.

“Um, Princess, shouldn’t we do that someplace more private than the front room of our station?” the secretary asked.

“This will only take a minute, and I am feeling impatient,” Celestia said dismissively.

Apparently, nether Stone Wall nor Miss Files wanted to push the Princess any more, and both retreated to behind the receptionist desk.

I, meanwhile, was fidgeting while watching the Princess scan the files in front of her face. I really should have been with Twilight, but what could I do? I had no medical knowledge that could help, and she would be unconscious for next twelve or so hours. Still, going to her side felt like the right thing to do.

But on the other hoof, I really wanted to find out why this had happened, and I just knew I would tear myself to pieces just sitting and watching Twilight sleep. So I guess helping the Princess get to the bottom of this was my best choice for now.

“I see,” Celestia said, shaking me from my thoughts. “Allow me to review what happened with you, Captain Stone Wall, just to be sure that I have all the details correct.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Stone wall said, hurrying back towards the Princess.

“First of all, the victim in this case was Green Hoof, a local earth pony gardener who had recently fallen on hard times. His business had gone under, and he had been arrested multiple times for public intoxication and disturbing the peace. He was also suspected of taking illegal substances, but nothing concrete had ever shown up.

“However, about a week ago, early in the morning, he was discovered unconscious in an alley in the center of town, and was unresponsive. When taken to the hospital, a preliminary blood scan showed that he had taken a massive amount of a magic suppressor commonly known as Merlinite. Medical examination has shown that even if he ever wakes up, he will have lost his connection to soil,” Celestia continued, and her voice grew hard as she said the last sentence.

Celestia took a deep breath before continuing. “Among the trash that was littering the alley, three prescription bottles were found, all with the tags torn off. One of them was empty, but the other two still had medication inside. Matching the serial numbers on the pills revealed them to be a mood stabilizer and an atypical anti-psychotic, both in rather powerful doses. Is this correct?”

“Yes, Ma’am, that is all correct,” Stone Wall said, nodding furiously.

“Very well. I would like you and a squad of your stallions to come with me. I believe that I know where Green Hoof acquired those pills,” the Princess said, then turned and strode out of the guard station, leaving the captain scrambling and calling for a squad to join him.

I flew out of the station and joined Celestia, but I didn’t land beside her. She may not have looked like she was in a hurry, but she’s so large that even a fast walk for her was a slow gallop for an average pony.

“Rainbow, I assume that you know where Twilight has her prescriptions filled, correct?” Celestia asked, and a look of satisfaction flickered over her face when I nodded. “Very well, lead the way.”

“Sure thing Princess, but can you tell me what’s going on? I guess that that Green Hoof pony ended up with Twilight’s pills, but how? I mean, did he steal them?” I asked, confused.

“First things first, Rainbow. I can confirm that Green Hoof did indeed have Twilight’s medication. I have long since asked Doctor Hooves to keep me posted on Twilight’s condition and medications, with her permission, of course. I may not be completely up to date on A.C.M.S. itself, but I do want to know the symptoms and side effects of the medication, as such to better help Twilight if needed,” she said.

“However, I do not believe that Green Hoof stole them, or even what they really were. He had no access to the medications or the placebos that Twilight’s meds were switched with, nor would he have any reason to overdose on the magic suppressor. Magic suppressors are not pleasant to take, ruling out recreational use, and there are much easier medications to overdose on, ruling out suicidal intent.

“However, the fact remains that he did overdose on Twilight’s medication. That means that somepony with access must have given them to him without telling him what they were or what they did. That in turn tells me that this is not just a mistake,” Celestia said, her tone grim.

I was having a bit of difficulty keeping up with her train of logic, but one thing stood out to me. “Not a mistake? Do you… do you mean that somepony did this to Twilight on purpose?” I asked, feeling anger bubble up inside me.

“I suppose it could have been somepony covering up that they made a mistake filling Twilight’s prescription, but I find that unlikely. When word of this gets out, the reputation of the pharmacy will plummet, whereas if they had just contacted Twilight, nothing would have happened and their reputation would remain untarnished. So yes, Rainbow, I do believe that somepony did this to Twilight on purpose,” Celestia replied, and I could hear and echo of my own anger when she spoke.

The rest of the journey to the store was in silence.


Luna must have been lowering the sun, because it was beginning to get dark by the time we reached the pharmacy.

“So, what do we do now? Do we wait for the guards to catch up or do we…?” I started to ask, but Celestia just strode right into the store without so much as a look back.

I hurried in right after her, and saw her ring the bell that was on the front counter.

“Just one moment!” called a stallion from the back of the store. After a second or two of rustling sounds, a green unicorn stallion with a pill for a cutie mark trotted out of a closet. “How can I help—Your Highness!?”

Celestia ignored his exclamation, her face emotionless. “Hello, my little pony. I need to speak with whoever last handled Twilight Sparkle’s prescription.”

“I… but you…um,” the stallion stuttered.

“Now,” Celestia said, and the word came out cold enough that the stallion paled.

“Right, right! I think that was Inspiring Script. He works here while he tries to get published, you see—“

“Then I would like to talk to him. Do you know where I can find him?”

“He’s in the back right now, so—“

“Then go get him,” Celestia commanded, and the stallion scurried away as quickly as his hooves could move him. Celestia didn’t move a muscle, but her eyes followed him until he rounded a corner and disappeared from view.

I, meanwhile was torn between demanding answers myself, and not wanting to get in the Princesses way. In the end, however, I guess that the Princess would do a better job of getting to the bottom of this than I would.

Also, I think I would be bad for my health if I annoyed her right now.

After a moment, there was a cry of “Just get out there!” from where the green stallion had disappeared to, and a pegasus, just a shade darker than I was with a lighter blue mane and a scroll cutie mark, stumbled into our view, rubbing his flank.

“Are you Inspiring Script?” Celestia asked.

“Um, yeah. How can I help you, Your Highness?” Script asked, trembling a little.

“I would like to know about when you handled Twilight Sparkle’s prescription. It was a few weeks ago now. Was there anything unusual about—“

“No! It was a perfectly normal, um, thing! There wasn’t anything strange about it!” Script blurted out, his eyes shifting from side to side.

Wow, I never thought that I would meet a worse liar than Applejack, but here he was. To be fair, however, I would like to see even the best liar come up with a convincing lie with the Princess glaring at you like that.

“Listen, my little pony,” Celestia said, her voice very soft, but trembling with rage, “one pony is comatose, and another has been injured thanks to somepony tampering with medication that came from this pharmacy. If you know anything at all, tell me before I arrest you and everypony that works here for obstruction of justice!”

“All right. All right! I’ll talk!” Script said, cowering. “Twilight came in to fill her prescription, but she didn’t want to wait in the store like she always did. She said that she was going for a short walk with her marefriend. Anyways, right after she left, this mare came in and said that she was running a pharmaceutical trial, and that I should switch her medications for placebos! I—“

“What!?” the green stallion yelled. “What in Equestria made you think that she was legitimate? You know that all requests for changes in medication have to come through me, and I never would have allowed that, not with what Twilight was taking!”

“She looked like a scientist! Besides, she, um…” Script trailed off, muttering something under his breath.

“Repeat that, please,” Celestia commanded.

“She paid me two hundred bits, all right?” Script said. “I really needed the money to pay my agent, okay? I’m not proud of it, but I needed to do it! You understand, right?”

“Yes, I do understand,” Celestia said, so quietly that I needed to strain to hear her. “I understand that instead of working honestly, you decided to take a bribe and commit a crime. Because of your selfishness, two ponies are now in the hospital, one of whom may never recover.”

At that moment, the doors to the store burst open, and Captain Stone Wall and a group of other guards burst into the room.

“Just in time, Stone Wall. I would like you to arrest this pony here. He is the one that tampered with Twilight Sparkle’s medication,” Celestia said.

“Wait!” Script protested. “You said you wouldn’t arrest me!”

“I never said that,” Celestia replied coldly. “However, I can argue for a lighter sentence, if you tell me who bribed you to switch the medications.”

“But she didn’t tell me her name!”

“Then describe her!” Celestia said furiously.

“Okay, okay!” Script said, and he looked like he wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear. “She was red with a brown mane. She had on this weird coat with a lot of pockets, and she was constantly fiddling with her glasses. Her cutie mark was—“

“A drop of blood between two slides?” I asked, already knowing who she was talking about. When Script nodded, my vision turned red. “Blood Work!” I hissed.

“You know who she is?” Celestia asked me.

“Yeah, Blood Work is a competitor for that contest Twilight was in. She was always rude to Twilight, something about not wanting to be second best. I didn’t think that she would do something like this, though.”

“Very well, guards!” Celestia said, and every guard in the room stood at attention. “I want you to find this Blood Work, and bring her to the guard station. I will interrogate her personally.”

The room filled with a chorus of “Yes, Ma’am,” and all the guards save for one bolted from the pharmacy and scattered in every direction. The last guard approached Inspiring Script and pulled a pair of wing restraints from his saddlebags and put them around him, before leading him from the store.

Celestia sighed. “I always hate arresting one of my little ponies, but sometimes it is inevitable. Come, Rainbow, let—“

“Princess!” called a pony, and the Princess and I turned to see Doctor Hooves gallop into the store. “What’s going on? The guards won’t tell me anything about Twilight! I am her doctor, they should let me know!”

Celestia sighed again. “Yes, yes, they should let you know. Come, I will tell you what happened on the way to the guard station.”


By the time we reached the station, Celestia had just about finished telling Doctor Hooves what had happened.

When we got to the part about the magic suppressor, Doctor Hooves stopped short of actually entering the guard station.

“She tried to push through the magic suppressor!?” he asked, an alarmed look on his face.

Celestia instantly stopped as well, and turned to face the doctor. “Yes. Does that mean anything to you?”

“Well, you know A.C.M.S. is mainly because of an overdeveloped and under shielded magic lobe, right?”

Celestia shook her head. “I did not, but I do now. Please, continue.”

“Well, with her summoning so much magic, and with the magic suppressor preventing the magic from going anywhere, it is possible that, well…”

“Well, what?” I snapped, not in the mood for anymore dancing around the issue.

“Keep in mind that this is only a theory. I mean, nopony has seen a unicorn with as much magic as Twilight before, so I don’t actually know if this has happened, but…”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “It is possible that there was a magic backlash in her brain. When she wakes up… her symptoms could be even worse than before.”

I fell out of the air, my wings suddenly unable to support me.

Rainbow Dash 12

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“How bad?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know—“ Doctor Hooves said, but that wasn’t good enough.

“HOW BAD!?” I roared, all of my anger boiling to the surface at once.

The doctor flinched away from me, and Celestia put a hoof on my back. “Rainbow, please, calm yourself. Doctor Hooves in not at fault here.”

“But… but…” I said, deflating. “This is all so messed up. Twilight didn’t do anything wrong, and now she might be… might be… I don’t know. It’s just so messed up.” Dang it, I wasn’t going to cry.

“Doctor. How bad might it be?” Celestia asked calmly.

Doctor Hooves just shook his head. “I honestly don’t know. There have been minor incidents of ponies developing A.C.M.S. like symptoms after exposure to too much magic, but Twilight is one of a kind. Like all ponies with A.C.M.S., her brain is ill-equipped to handle how much magic she has. Add to that the fact that she was off her magic suppressors, and that the magic had no place to go because of the magic suppression stone… I don’t think we will know till she wakes up.”

“Is there anything we can do in the meantime?” Celestia asked.

“I could order some scans of her brain in the meantime, but they would do that anyways, and I don’t think it will tell us much. Our scans just aren’t developed enough for detecting subtle changes.”

“Thank you, doctor. Might I ask what you plan to do now?” Celestia said.

The doctor sighed. “I think I’m going to head back to my office and close up for the night. I’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.”

“In that case, thank you for everything you have done. I will make sure that the state compensates you for any disruptions to your business that this has caused.”

Doctor Hooves looked taken back at that statement. “That won’t be needed, Your Highness. I—“

“Please take it, Doctor. It would put my mind at ease,” Celestia said, sounding oddly pleading.

“I… very well. I’ll submit my bill to the crown tomorrow. Goodnight,” Doctor Hooves said, then slowly made his way back into town.

Celestia watched him until he rounded a corner and disappeared from view. “I believe that he is blaming himself just as much as you blame yourself, Rainbow.”

“He shouldn’t,” I said tiredly. “It’s all my fault. I should have been more attentive to how Twilight was acting during when she was sick. I should have been faster in finding her. Heck, I should have been the one to tackle her. I’m a black belt, I would have been able to hold her without hurting her.”

“Do not go down that path, Rainbow. Worrying about what might have been can prepare you for the future, but holding on to the blame needlessly can tear a pony apart. Trust me, I know,” Celestia said with a glance at the rising moon.

“Right,” I said, only half believing her. “So, what do we do now?”

“I, personally, am going to wait for the pony that actually does deserve the blame for this. I would like to know precisely what was going through her mind when she attempted to ruin my disciple’s life. What would you like to do?”

“I… I don’t know…” I admitted. “Twilight still won’t wake up for a while, even if the doctors are done working on her leg. And even then, I don’t know if they would even let me in to see her.”

Celestia tilted her head a little. “Why wouldn’t they?”

“I’m not her family, so…”

The princess smiled a little. “If I recall correctly, they let your friends in to see you when you broke your wing.”

I shrugged a little. It was a good point.

“Rainbow, don’t be so quick to jump to the worst case scenario. It rarely helps,” Celestia said, looking me in the eyes.

“I guess. It just seems like a day for worse case scenarios.”

“Not really. As badly as the day went, it could have been much worse,” Celestia said.

“Worse!? How could it be worse!?” I yelled, angry again. “Um… I mean… could you explain, Your Highness?” I added, remembering who I was speaking to.

“For starters, we should be thankful that the withdrawal from Twilight’s medications didn’t cause any significant side effects. From what I understand, she was feeling under the weather for a while, but compared to what might have happened, that was a blessing.”

“What do you mean, what might have happened?”

Celestia frowned. “I mean that she could have developed any one of a number of skin disorders, some that would lead to long lasting damage and severe infections down the road. And that was only for one medication. With three…”

I swallowed the lump that had appeared in my throat. “Got it. Could have been much worse.”

“And even after that, we were lucky. She didn’t suddenly believe that one of the multitude of poisonous plants in the Everfree was mare’s root, she was found quickly, she only tried to run away from the guards instead of fighting then… all in all, we were tremendously lucky.”

“It sure doesn’t feel like that,” I said bitterly.

Celestia sighed. “I know. But for now, let us just be thankful that she is alive. Isn’t that enough?”

“I guess. Anyways, I think I’ll stick around and see what Blood Work has to say for herself. I can go to Twilight’s side afterwards,” I said.

“I understand. Be warned though, if she doesn’t want to see you, you may not get to hear what she has to say in person.”

“Really? Well that sucks, cause I have some questions for her.”

“I know you do, and I believe that I can get you in the same room as her without bending the rules. If worse comes to worse, I could just invoke my right as the princess to allow you to confront her. I would prefer not to, however. I dislike circumventing the law like that,” the Princess said.

“Got it,” I said. “I guess that will have to do.”

“Now, Rainbow, shall we enter the station? It is getting slightly cold out here, and we may have a bit of a wait before the guard arrest Blood Work.”

I nodded, and the Princess and I turned and entered the station.


An hour later, I was pacing back and forth in the reception area of the guard station. The guards still had not found Blood Work, and I was getting impatient.

The Princess, on the other hoof, had immediately gone to a corner of the room, and settled down on her barrel, closed her eyes, and not moved since we had entered the room. I would have sworn she had fallen asleep, but her ears twitched at ever sound. I think she was just meditating.

Finally, my patience wore thin. “That’s it,” I said, “I’ll talk to Blood Work some other time. I’m going to see Twilight.”

“Please wait, just a little, Rainbow,” Celestia said, without even opening her eyes. “I believe that the guards should be returning very shortly.”

“How do you know?” I asked, but the words had barely left my lips when the door of the room flew open, and Captain Stone Wall trotted in.

“We got her,” he said. “It took us a bit to find where she lived, but she surrendered peacefully. She’s waiting in the interrogation room. Do you want us to ask her anything in particular?”

“No, Captain. In fact, I don’t want you to ask her anything at all. As I said, I will be interrogating her personally,” Celestia replied, getting to her hooves.

Stone Wall looked taken back by this. “Are… are you sure?”

“Yes,” Celestia said calmly, walking out of the room. “Wait here, Rainbow. If everything goes to plan, then you should be needed shortly.”

“Okay,” I said, unsure of what else to say. The Captain gave me one last look, then hurried out of the room.

I guess there wasn’t anything else to do but wait. I sighed. It felt like I had spent entire days waiting at that point, but I hadn’t even been half a day since everything went to Tartarus.

I settled down into one of the waiting couches in the room, and tried to do my best impression of the Princess: calm and collected.

It was about two minutes before I was up and pacing the room again.

Finally, after about thirty minutes that felt like thirty days, Stone Wall came back into the room. “Blood Work has asked to see you,” he said.

“Blood Work asked to see me. Not Celestia?” I asked, confused.

“That’s right. Now follow me. I’ll take you to the interrogation room,” Stone Wall said, and I scrambled to follow him.


The interrogation room was drab and grey, with just a table, a lamp and two chairs in it. There was a mirror taking up most of one of the walls, and I assumed that was where the guards would be watching from.

“And she finally shows up!” Blood Work sneered as I entered the room. She had her glasses on, but she was missing her vest and her hair was a little messed up. “I get dragged out of bed by the guards, and it’s all because of you! I invoke my right to confront my accuser as given to me in the Equestrian constitution!” she said triumphantly.

Her back was to Celestia, so she couldn’t see the smile that flickered across the large mare’s face.

“That’s not technically how the law works,” Celestia said, her face serious again. “But now that Rainbow is here, she said she has some questions for you. Would you be opposed to answering them?”

Blood Work spun and glared at Celestia. “But you said that—“

“All I said was that several ponies, Rainbow Dash included, were accusing you of tampering with Twilight Sparkle’s medications. Then I reminded you of the law. You were the one that demanded to be able to confront Rainbow Dash,” Celestia said, and she sounded just the tiniest bit smug. “In any case, she is here now, and would like to ask you a few things.”

“Well then, I invoke my right to remain silent,” Blood Work announced triumphantly.

“Very well. Guards, please note that the subject has become uncooperative when asked to answer questions. That will surely come up at her trial,” Celestia said, turning as if to leave.

“What? Fine! I’ll answer some stupid questions!” Blood Work shouted, spinning to face me. “So, what does the idiot want to know?”

Behind her back, Celestia smiled again.

“Well,” I said, gathering my thoughts, “I guess the first thing I want to know is… did you really do it? Did you tamper with her medications?”

Blood Work rolled her eyes at me. “Of course I did.”

“W—What?” I almost shouted, taken back. I had expected her to deny it.

“I, unlike you, am not an idiot. The guards have enough evidence to convict me, so it’s in my best interest to cooperate. And I am cooperating, see?” she asked, glaring at Celestia.

“And so you are,” Celestia replied, her face a blank mask.

“Well, I also want to know if you actually sabotaged Twilight’s research,” I said, turning Blood Work’s attention back to me.

“Why would I do that?” she asked. “All I had to do was swap out her meds then play the waiting game. I know enough about pharmaceuticals to know that that combination of meds was only for really serious things. I had just hoped that she would have made a fool of herself in front of the judges, but from what I can gather, it went even better than that.”

“But, then, why?” I asked. “Why swap the meds at all? Twilight never hurt you, and—“

“Never hurt me!?” Blood Work shouted. “That little nutcase hurt me worse than any other pony in Equestria! Until I met her, I was always the best at everything! Then Miss Crazypants comes prancing into the picture, and starts upstaging me at every turn! She must have been cheating! Nopony is smarter than me!”

“Cheating?” I asked, dumbfounded at her outburst and accusation.

“You got wax in your ears or something? I just told you, nopony is smarter than me, so for her to win so many competitions, she must have cheated. Heck, her family is rich, I bet they just bribed some ponies.”

“Twilight would never—“ I began, but I was swiftly cut off.

“Spare me the whole ‘my marefriend would never’ routine. She couldn’t have beat me in anything fairly and you know it!”

“What do you mean, that I should know it?”

Blood Work sneered at me again. “Oh, so she didn’t tell you? And I guess you’re too much of a simpleton to figure out after what happened today.”

“Quit stalling and tell me!” I demanded.

The unicorn’s grin widened. “Twilight’s crazy. And I mean certifiable. Everything that happened today? That’s just because I switched her meds with ones that do nothing. That’s just how she really is, without any meds to prop her sanity up!”

“If you mean about her A.C.M.S., I already knew about it,” I said, my teeth grinding.

Blood Work looked taken back for a second. “You knew? And you still wanted to sleep with her?” she asked, sounding incredulous

I was so angry I could taste bile in my throat.

A second later, Blood Work’s stupid smile returned. “Oh, I get it.”

“Get what!?” I snapped, wanting to be done with her already.

“I mean, it’s obvious,” she said, her grin growing ever wider. “So tell me, was the sex really that good?”

“W—What!?”

“Tell me, is it true? That the crazy ones make for the best fucks?” Blood Work asked.

Silence fell over the room. I was dimly aware of Celestia making a face like she had smelled something unpleasant, before what Blood Work had said sunk in.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!” I roared, launching myself at Blood Work. My hoof slammed into the side of her face once, twice, three times before I felt the familiar sensation of magic envelop my body and pulled me off her.

I hovered, suspended by Celestia’s gentle but firm magic, panting in anger. After a second or two, the guards burst into the room.

“Hold her,” Celestia commanded, floating me over to the guards, who immediately restrained me. “Do not put her in a cell yet, however.”

Blood Work groaned from where she had fallen to the floor. She got up slowly, shaking a little, then spat on the floor. I was pleased to see a glimmer of white amongst the red on the floor.

After a moment, Stone Wall entered the room. He looked a little shocked at the scene before him, but he quickly regained his composure. “Princess, may I speak with you?” he asked. “It’s about Twilight’s condition.”

“You can tell me now,” Celestia said.

“N—Now? In front of these civilians?”

“Yes,” Celestia said simply.

“O…okay…” Stone Wall said, before visibly gathering himself. “Twilight’s leg was successfully splinted, and brain scans showed no detectable damage. All in all, it is likely she will make a full recovery in time.”

Blood Work frowned, and Celestia smiled. “Very good. And I assume she will change hospitals to one more suited to her condition?” Celestia said.

“Yes, her doctor recommended that she be transferred to Canterlot Mental Hospital in a day.”

“Very good,” Celestia said again. “Now, there is the matter of punishment… for Rainbow.”

“What!?” I shouted, disbelieving. How could she do this to me?

“For assaulting a suspect in guard custody, I sentence you to…”

Celestia paused, and Blood Work started smiling like a madmare.

Seriously, after everything that happened, Celestia was going to punish me?

I was just about to tell her to stuff her tiara where the sun don’t shine when she spoke again.

“… one month of community service at Canterlot Mental Hospital, starting in one week.”

This time, it was Blood Work who shouted “What!?” as I started to grin.

“I believe,” Celestia continued, “that there will be a pony there that may benefit from her presence. Of course, she will be reimbursed for time away from her job, seeing as how she was provoked.”

Blood Work was visibly seething now.

“Are you sure, Princess? We don’t normally reimburse for time away from a job…” Stone Wall said.

“I am invoking my right as High Princess of Equestria, declaring that this punishment fits the crime,” Celestia said in a tone that booked no argument.

“Now then,” she continued, “there is the matter of what to be done with Blood Works research. I believe that it may be related to this crime, and as such am ordering the guard to seize it.”

“What!? You can’t!” Blood Work protested.

“Furthermore, we will need a pony smart enough to understand what Blood Work was doing. As such, they will need to be smarter that Blood Work. Can you think of any examples, Rainbow?”

Ah. I saw where she was going with this. “Maybe Twilight, once she recovers?” I said.

Celestia nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. Very well, guards, release Rainbow. She has already been judged and sentenced. As for Blood Work, take her to a cell. The courts will see to her.”

The guards saluted, and pulled Blood Work out of the room as she was yelling profanities at the Princess.

That left Celestia and me alone in the interrogation room. It was silent for a few seconds, before I spoke.

“You know,” I said, casually, “I would have expected you to be faster than that.”

“Faster than what?” the Princess asked.

“When I attacked Blood Work. You were faster than that when I jumped to go help Twilight.”

“Maybe I was just caught by surprise. Nopony is as fast as you, Rainbow,” Celestia said with a smile.

I snorted. And I was king of the sea ponies.

I got serious again almost instantly. “So, what now?” I asked.

Celestia sighed. “Now we do all we can to help Twilight recover. I suggest you go check on Twilight, then go home and get a good night’s sleep. I wager you will want to be by her side even before you start your community service.”

I nodded, and turn to leave the room.

“One more thing, Rainbow,” Celestia said.

I turned and looked at her.

“Thank you for caring about her,” Celestia said simply.

I nodded, then made my way out of the guard station.

Rainbow Dash 13

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“Hey, girls,” I said tiredly, having spent most of the previous night tossing and turning, before deciding that trying to sleep was futile.

“Darling, will you please tell us what is going on? You drag us out of bed at six in the morning, and tell us all to meet at Sugarcube Corner, with vague promises of an explanation when everypony gets here,” Rarity said, rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah, and I’m tired of waiting for Twilight and Applejack to get here!” Pinkie declared, not sounding in the least tired. I guess her three cups of coffee might have something to do with that.

“Twilight’s not coming,” I said, “and I don’t want to explain this more than once. So please, Pinkie, just calm down a bit, okay?”

“All right, I got it,” Pinkie said, but then Fluttershy spoke up.

“Twilight’s not coming?” she asked. “Is she okay?”

I sighed. “Not really, no.”

Fluttershy shrunk back. “Oh… I see.”

Nopony spoke after that, and the mood quickly became somber. Even Pinkie stopped bouncing around, a feat that I would have thought impossible with that much caffeine in her.

After a minute or two, Rarity suddenly pounded on the table we were all sitting around. “Fine then, at least tell us if she will be all right! Don’t just drop a bombshell like that on us then clam up!”

“Like I said, I don’t want to have to explain this more than once!” I said, the last of my energy gathering itself into anger. “And I don’t know, if she is going to be okay, understand? It’s all very up in the air at this point!”

Rarity opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say anything, the door to the bakery opened and Applejack marched in. “All right, y’all, what’s so dang important that you had to tear me away from getting the farm set for the day?” she asked.

“It’s about Twilight,” I said.

Applejack’s face went through a series of emotions that I would have found funny under any other circumstances. First a little bit of fear, then of guilt, before settling into caution. “What about Twilight?” she asked. “Did she—“

I didn’t give her a chance to finish her sentence. “You know that thing we all talked about a few weeks ago? You know, how Twilight has A.C.M.S.?”

Everypony at the table nodded, but then Fluttershy spoke up. “Are you sure it’s all right to be talking about it in the open like this?”

I looked around at the deserted and still closed bakery. “I don’t think anypony will overhear. Besides, I don’t plan to stick around for very long. My train to Canterlot leaves in about forty-five minutes.”

“Wait!” Pinkie said, and everypony turned to look at her. “Twilight’s not okay, and you’re leaving her to go to Canterlot? Why?”

“Technically? For community service,” I said, and everypony at the table gasped, with Pinkie and Rarity vying for most dramatic. “Off the
record, though? So I can be with Twilight while she recovers.”

“Perhaps you should start at the beginning, darling,” Rarity said, looked even more concerned than she had before.

I nodded. “Right, you girls all know how Twilight wasn’t feeling well for a bit? Well, it turns out she didn’t just catch some random bug…”


“… and that’s why I’m heading to Canterlot.”

As I finished speaking, I glanced around at the table. Pinkies mane had gone flat, and she and Fluttershy were looking like they might burst into tears. Rarity, on the other hoof, looked like she wanted to hit something.

Applejack just looked grim.

“When… when do you think the two of you will be back? When will Twilight be better?” Pinkie asked, her voice trembling.

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “Hopefully it will take less than a month. If it does take more, then I might have to dip into my savings to stay in Canterlot with her, but there is no way I’m coming back to Ponyville until she can too.”

“Well, the Princess did essentially give you a free month in Canterlot. She probably doesn’t think that it will take longer than that,” Rarity said, taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

“I’m just glad nopony was hurt,” Applejack said.

I was too tired to give her a proper glare, but I gave it my best shot anyways. “You mean besides Twilight’s broken leg?”

“N—no! I meant… Never mind. My mouth moved before my brain did. Sorry, y’all,” Applejack said.

I knew precisely what she meant. I suppose that I should be graceful that she didn’t finish saying ‘hurt by Twilight.’ I would have hated to have to punch her, and I don’t think the princess would be as understanding of an assault charge this time around.

Applejack at least had the good sense to look ashamed.

“When we get back, Applejack, you, Twilight and I are going to have a long talk. Understand?” I asked, and Applejack nodded.

“Anyways,” I continued before anypony else could get in a word,” I’ve got to head off. My train leaves in about ten minutes, so I have to get going. I’ll write weekly. And Rarity? Can Spike stay with you until I get settled in Canterlot? After that, he can come stay with me at my hotel.”

“That sounds fine, Rainbow. I must say, though, I hope this horrible business settles down, so that Twilight can focus on recovering,” Rarity said.

“Oh, it should. I think we’ve had enough trouble for the next few years or so. And Blood Work is behind bars, so I don’t see her causing any more trouble,” I said.

After thinking for a moment, I rapped my hoof against the wooden table.

“Knock on wood,” I said.

Muckraker

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“Hold your horses, I’m coming,” I grumbled as the knocking at my door continued. Who in Equestria would be so insistent on seeing me this early in the morning? It was only… I glanced at the clock sitting on my fireplace mantel. Fine, so it was a little past eight. I guess that wasn’t too early for some ponies, but I had just rolled out of bed. I had been up late last night trying to discover what had worked the guard into such a tizzy.

I pushed a stray lock of yellow mane out of my eyes with a cream colored hoof in frustration. Unfortunately, I had been largely unsuccessful last night. Not that I was surprised. The guard tended to be tight lipped about giving information to reporters if they didn’t have to, and the reputation of my employer didn’t really make them more obliging.

“What?” I said curtly as I swung the door open.

To my surprise, there was one of the guards I had spoken to last night waiting for me. “Come with me, Muckraker,” he said, and began to march away.

Now, that might fluster a normal pony into following him unprepared, but I had lots of experience with ponies, and the guards in particular, trying to bully me. “Am I under arrest?” I asked.

“No, but—“ The guard started to say before I cut him off.

“Then why should I go with you?” I asked, sticking straight to the point.

The guard hesitated. “I’m not supposed to tell you anything. The captain doesn’t want you to twist it into one of your slanderous articles.”

“Well, if you don’t tell me, the article is going to be ‘Guard Attempts to Pull Journalist from Home; Refuses to Answer Why.’ Do you think the captain would like that? By the way, what’s your name? I need to know who to set the public against.”

“Fine, fine!” the guard said, with just a touch of panic tainting his voice. “A pony that we arrested last night has requested that you help her procure a lawyer. I’m just supposed escort you to the guard station, okay?”

“But—“ I started to protest, but then I stopped. I wasn’t exactly used to doing charity, but something told me that I might get a good story out of this. After all, this sounded like it would give me insight into what happened last night. Heck, there were rumors going around that the tyrant herself had made an appearance, so even if that turned out to be false I could just claim ‘unverified sources.’

Of course, I needed more than rumors that Celestia had been here. And even if this turned out to be a dud, I could just leave that pony to the whims of the court system.

“Fine,” I said. “Let me get my reporters kit.”

The guard nodded, looking relived that I hadn’t caused any more trouble. A minute later, I had my stuff ready to go, and without another word, the guard and I turned and began trotting towards the guard station.


My first thought when I entered the visitor’s room was that the mare in front of me looked like she had been put through the wringer. Half of her face was swollen, and when she spoke I could see she was missing one of her teeth. Next to that, her messy mane and cracked glasses didn’t even look that bad.

“Yellow Journalist, right?” she asked, and I stiffened in response.

“Not anymore,” I said, my tone frosty. “I had my name changed to Muckraker. It fits much better, now that I’m at a respectable paper. Just like the intrepid reporters of old, challenging oppression and corruption wherever it shows itself.”

The red mare snorted. “Is that why you guys are always writing anti-Celestia articles? You see yourself as some sort of crusader for truth?”

“That’s exactly it. Now, if you have something to say besides insulting me and my newspaper, I suggest you say it before I leave.”

“Wait! Don’t go!” the mare yelled, trying to jump up, but being held back by her shackles. “I didn’t mean to insult you! In fact, after last night, I believe that The Canterlot Times is right! Celestia really is a tyrant.”

The guard in the corner of the room let out an audible growl at this, but I wasn’t paying him much mind. “And what happened last night?” I asked, sitting down and giving the mare an apprising look through the glass separating us. “Let me guess, guard brutality?”

“I wish. The mare that did this has been ‘punished,’” she said, and I could practically taste the sarcasm in her words.

“Perhaps you better start at the beginning. First, tell me your name,” I said, grabbing my notepad in my magic.

“My name is Blood Work, and this all started a few weeks ago…”


It took more time than I would have liked to get all the information out of her. Several times I had needed to steer her back on topic after she got caught in a rant about how evil and crazy Twilight Sparkle was. But after all was said and done…

“Well,” I said, pondering how to best spin everything I had learned. “Thank you, this has been very… informative.”

Actually, this might just be the biggest scoop I had ever run across. Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn that had saved Equestria at least twice, was hiding a history of mental illness? And Celestia was trusting her with our countries’ most important defense? That alone would sell a lot of papers, and, more importantly, tarnish Celestia’s reputation.

But that that wasn’t all, not by a long shot. Celestia had trampled all over all sorts of rules, laws, and regulations in her haste to cover this up, not to mention letting a prisoner be assaulted right under her muzzle. If a captain of the guard did that, the masses would be screaming for his resignation. But since it was undeniably Celestia breaking all those rules, this might just wake some ponies up to the fact that she wasn’t as benevolent as she seemed.

“Right, so what I need in return is for you to get me a lawyer. Preferably a good one.”

I nearly jumped at the sound of Blood Work’s voice. “Right,” I said. “I actually can’t do that.”

Blood Work looked like the ground had fallen out from under her. “But—but I need you to!” she cried. “I used the last of my bits to bribe that pharmacy tech! I don’t have any money left! You owe me now, for giving you this story!”

“Yeah, you probably should have mentioned that you wanted me to get you a lawyer at the beginning. But don’t worry, I may not be able to, but my boss has more than enough money to get you one of the best.”

I left out the fact that he might not want to associate with somepony as obviously guilty as this pony, or the fact that if he did overtly give her a lawyer, all claims to neutrality would vanish.

Blood Work looked like she bought it, though. “Okay, as long as I get one. I don’t want to rely on some public defender.”

“Very well, then I’ll catch the next train to Canterlot. You should hear back from us in a few days or so,” I said, turning to take my leave.

“Thank—thank you,” Blood Work said, looking as if the words caused her physical pain.

‘Don’t thank me yet,’ I thought, but I only said “You’re welcome,” aloud.


The train ride to Canterlot was uneventful, but that just gave me time to go over what I would do next. I could have gone straight to the boss, but he liked it when an employee took the initiative to investigate a story before coming to him, so I had a bit of leg work to do.

For starters, I wanted to find out more about Blood Work. In a case like this, it always helps to determine if you want to name your source by name, or if you should keep them unidentified.

It barely took me a day to round up as much information as I needed on her. Apparently, she left quite a mark on Canterlot University records, both in terms of accomplishments and punishments. Not to mention all the teachers and other faculty that she interacted with.

The second thing I wanted to do was actually verify that Twilight Sparkle was actually nuts, or if publishing this story would lead to a swift and decisive rebuttal. I mean, we would probably have to issue an apology Sparkle one way or another, but an apology for violating her privacy would just strengthen the credibility of our article in the eyes of the public. Conversely, an apology for getting the facts wrong would make us laughingstocks.

To my disappointment, this proved to be much harder than digging up dirt on Blood Work. Twilight had been so much of a recluse that everypony I talked to at the university only knew her in passing.

The biggest nugget of information I could get is that one of the teachers thought that she may have been using salt licks, but he didn’t have any proof.

It looked like I was going to have to use her little escapades with her doll in Ponyville as proof, but that should be fine. It did fit into what Blood Work had told me.

In any case, I felt like I had enough information that the boss would be satisfied.


“Come in,” the boss said after I knocked on his door. He was at his desk, which, as always, was covered in papers and potential articles. Say what you want about the boss, he always worked hard.

“Ah, Muckraker, I was wondering when I would hear from you,” he said. “Apparently, you’ve been as busy as a bee lately, snooping around the Canterlot University campus and missing out on stories in Ponyville. I had expected to hear from you after that commotion a few nights ago, but…”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Truth Seeker, my boss, was a little intimidating, but I was more scared of letting him down. He had really took me under his wing, metaphorically, not literally. He was really touch shy, even for a pegasus.

In any case, he was the one that had suggested I change my name to something more respectable. He himself had done so after exiting from the guard.

“Sorry sir, but this is about the commotion in Ponyville, and it could be the best story of the year,” I said.

The boss arched an eyebrow over his piercing blue eyes. He ran a hoof though his golden mane, as he always did when he was thinking. “All right, I’ll bite. What happened that night?”

It took me the better part of an hour to explain everything that Blood Work had told me, but by the time I was finished, the boss had gotten up and started pacing the room, the light from the sun scattering all over the room as it hit his white coat.

“Yes, I can see how this could be big. If we come at if from the right way, we can make it look like Celestia knowingly sent a dangerous individual to a rural town ill equipped to handle her,” he said.

“Yes, and it gets better. We can interview other ponies with this… A.C.M.S., and point out that Twilight has essentially been getting a free ride as far as help goes. That way, we can accuse Celestia of playing favorites and ignoring other ponies that needed help,” I replied.

“Even better, go interview some families that have lost family members to mental illness. ‘If only our dear John Doe had access to the level of help that Twilight Sparkle did, he might still be with us.’ Something like that should really tug at the heartstrings.”

“Right,” I said, making a mental note to myself. The boss really did have the best ideas, even if some ponies might find them a little distasteful.

But the end justifies the means when it comes to getting the truth to the public.

Right?

“So, shifting gears a little, is this Blood Work trustworthy?” the boss asked.

I winced a little. “Well, yes and no.”

The boss gave me a critical look. “Explain.”

“Well, if we do a little bit of digging, I’m pretty sure that everything she says will check out.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” the boss said, his tone firm.

“Right…” I said, trailing off. What the boss really wanted to know was if we should actually name her. Not doing so would weaken the story a bit, but if we did name her and she did something idiotic, that would hurt the story even more.

“Well?” the boss said, raising an eyebrow. “Just tell me what you’ve learned about her, and I’ll decide what to do.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Blood Work manages to both be a really smart pony, as well as one of the most idiotic ponies I have ever met.”

“You might have to explain that one to me.”

“Well, her work in the medical field has been amazing. According to teachers and researchers at Canterlot University, she would come up with the most radical theories, and most of the time they would be correct. And she never got lower than third place when it came to competitive exhibitions, no matter what discipline of science they were in.”

“Okay. So how is she stupid?”

“She utterly lacks common sense. I mean, for crying out loud, her grand scheme to discredit Twilight Sparkle was to walk into a pharmacy, bribe the clerk, and hope to Tartarus that she didn’t get caught. If the pony she tried to bribe hadn’t been so hard up for money, she probably would have been arrested in minutes. Not to mention that it took the last of her money to do that, so she doesn’t even have enough for a lawyer, yet she still feels entitled to the best of the best.”

“So, in short, if we do publicly support her, she’s likely to say something stupid and make us look bad,” the boss surmised, rubbing his chin.

“Not, just that, she’s likely to turn public sympathy to Twilight. She really hates the tyrant’s student.”

“Any idea why?”

“Well, it’s actually obvious to anypony that does a bit of digging. You see, was a bully back in school. Probably still is, but… anyways, she was really nasty. Like, drove some students to different schools nasty.”

“And how did she get away with it?” the boss asked, sounding surprised.

“Because of all the praise she was bringing to the school. Like I said, she always placed really well in exhibitions, even when she was young, so the schools that she went to were willing to look the other way. They didn’t want to throw dirt on the golden girl. And that lasted until Twilight Sparkle showed up. Suddenly, she wasn’t the best of the brightest anymore.”

“Ah, I see. So, suddenly, they stopped looking the other way when she got in trouble.”

“Right. She found herself in a lot of trouble and blamed it squarely on Sparkle, without trying to change her behavior one bit. Needless to say, she got expelled later, but somehow she managed to cover it up. Possibly by threatening to reveal how much the school had covered up of her deeds.”

“Wouldn’t that harm her reputation?”

“Like I said, she is sort of stupid when it comes to thinking about the consequences of her actions. In any case, the Canterlot Charity Society contest was supposed to be her shot back to the top. I guess she just sort of lost it when she saw that Sparkle was entering it as well.”

“Right…” the boss said, closing his eyes and running a hoof through his mane. “From what you’ve said, we shouldn’t name her. Some other papers might put two and two together, but for now let’s keep her a ‘trusted source.’”

“And about getting her a lawyer?”

The boss grinned. “You never actually promised to help her. That said… if we can get the public to sympathize with our ‘trusted source,’ even after other papers have revealed her, then we can give her the money for a lawyer. Make ourselves look good in the process.”

“Right,” I said. This was pretty much what I had expected.

“Muckraker, my boy, you did well,” the boss said, still grinning. “When we’ve finished, Celestia and Sparkle won’t know what hit them.