I Might Be Crazy
Today is a crisp, cool autumn morning on a winding road leading out of Ponyville; the sky is a vivid blue, with a few clouds drifting by lazily. The leaves on the trees have turned various bright shades of reds, yellows, and oranges; the annual Running of the Leaves is about two weeks away. My name is Screw Loose, I'm studying to become a psychologist, but in the current situation I find myself in I think I might have a bit of a journalistic side to me. While studying the various psychological disorders and the few facilities around Equestria that ponies with those disorders are treated at, I came across a few articles saying that ponies who didn't even have the major disorders required to be admitted, such as schizophrenia, were being admitted solely on assumptions. Now I find myself in front of the Ponyville hospital for the Insane to see if those articles have any truth to them; my plan is to go into the hospital complaining of voices in my head, should I be admitted I will act perfectly normal the next day.
"You say you're hearing voices in your head?"
"Yes, it simply says 'THUD' over and over again."
"Can you hear the voice now?"
"Yes, actually, it's rather... annoying."
I'm at the reception desk in the hospital, talking to one of the nurses; she has a white coat, light pink mane, and a red cross for a cutie mark.
"Alright then, follow me."
The nurse leads me past through a set of doors into another waiting room. As I take a seat in one of the chairs an older gray stallion with a white mane approaches the nurse and they engage in a hushed conversation that I can't make out. The stallion pauses to think for a few moments then nods to the nurse, who then turns back to me.
"Thank you for your patience, please follow me."
I do as I'm told and follow her through a large double doorway that leads into an impossibly long hallway with white tile floors, while walls, and a white roof with bright fluorescent lights. All the rooms leading off of the hallway appear to be thick and made of metal with small windows. After a short time traveling down the hallway the nurse opens the door to room 34 and shows me in.
"Congratulations, you've been admitted to the Ponyville hospital for the Insane for suspected schizophrenia." And then the door slams, leaving me inside.
About an hour has passed; dinner was delivered through a slot in the door along with three multi-colored pills. I have no idea what any of them treat or what side effects they might have on me. Shouldn't I at least be told what is being put in my own body? I eat the food provided for me, a meager helping of mashed potatoes and lettuce, but I push aside the pills, I probably shouldn't take them since I'm not actually schizophrenic. Lights out comes a short time later at nine PM; tomorrow I will flag down one of the nurses and tell her I was faking the whole thing.
I wake up the next morning to a high pitched bell that sounds throughout the entire complex; the same nurse who checked me in yesterday comes to the door and opens it, gesturing for me to step out.
"You'll be having breakfast with a few other patients in the commons this morning."
The commons turns out to be just down the hall from my room, it's a large open room with a few tables and chairs scattered about it, it also appears to be one of the only rooms with windows. There are six other ponies in the room when I arrive, all of them keeping to themselves and some occasionally twitching; only half of them even turn to look at me. I decide now is the time to tell the nurse about the situation.
"Nurse, I think it's time to let you know that I don't actually have a voice in my head, I made it all up as part of an experiment to see how easy it would be to get into this place."
The nurse gives me a very uncertain and doubtful look.
"Uh-huh, well we'll just keep you hear a bit longer for observation."
My jaw drops a little, I look myself over and I appear to myself as a perfectly normal pony, how could she not believe me? Was the simple action of being labeled a schizophrenic really having that much of an effect on how other ponies viewed me? I turn to look at the six other ponies in the room to find them laughing at me. The nurse hands me a tray with breakfast and pills on it and I walk to where the other ponies are.
"If you think it's that easy to get out of here, you've got another thing coming." One of them says to me as I slowly trot by. I sit down and begin to eat my food, and when it comes time to take the pills I push them off to the side; the nurse shoots me a harsh glare, so I reluctantly swallow them. I try several more times throughout the day to try and convince the nurse I'm sane, but nothing seems to work; eventually it's time to go to bed again.
It's been about a week since I stopped trying to convince the nurse, and thanks to all this attention I drew to myself I can no longer avoid swallowing the pills at every meal. On the rare occasion that I eat in the commons with a few other ponies I don't talk or even look at them, I'm not like them, I'm not crazy like they are, I don't have the issues that they have. I'm starting to develop resentment towards that nurse, who the hell is she to label me as schizophrenic?! She didn't even have any tests done! All she did was hear that one fake symptom and then I had a label branded above my head. I take another round of the pills with the meal and am shown back to my room.
It's been a month; no, three weeks; no, three weeks, four days, seven hours, eight minutes, forty seven seconds, and thirty two milliseconds. The pills are definitely having an effect on me, I can't think as clearly as I used to be able to, all the time I find myself forgetting things about myself, in a way these damn pills are making me crazy. As my mental health declines the nurse has stopped letting me eat lunch around others, not that I would want to anyways... Its solitary confinement twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, all because that Celestia forsaken nurse won't believe that I'm actually sane! If I ever get out I can picture vividly the things I'm going to do to her for causing me to have to go through this hell they call a hospital; she will bleed out and die painfully when I'm done with her. No, I mustn't think like that, I have to keep my cool, the pills will come in a few hours and then everything will be just fine.