Luna makes a game, then plays it. Then more things happen. This will be so bad.
Princess Luna is bored.
She has already played all of the games on her Steam account, created a link with Earth so she can play with the humans, and, tired of being insulted by foals, decides she can make her own entertainment using her incredible knowledge of computers and Twilight Sparkle's spare time. After all, her best human friend telling her of a game where there is really no objective sounds fun.
What should she call the game, if she makes it?
Why, Luna's Mod of course! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was just a silly idea I had in my head, so as usual don't expect anything good.
Luna stretched her back out, clicking a few bones in a pulse of minor orgasmic pleasure. Of course, she had...things, shall we say, that allowed her more than a pulse of pleasure, but those were neatly pushed under her bed. She was sat in front of her computer, a sleek, deep blue box with a glowing white crescent moon emblazoned on the front, wired up to a custom keyboard and mouse, and an HD monitor that showed her Steam account.
'Everypony's Favourite Moon Goddess' was her name, and almost every single game available to buy on Steam was her game. Except 'War-ZP', because that was positively cruel to even have been put on sale. However, her vast library of thousands of games, all rated, categorised, and past 24 hours each, had been played. She frowned, and looked at her friends list with a click, and brought up a small window.
2,584,214 online, 4261 looking to play, 1,256,153 in-ga...
She didn't bother to click the 'Show More' button, because that would more than likely fill her whole screen with a list of exactly how many ponies were doing exactly what. However, Luna knew there wasn't just ponies on that list.
She was the one who had figured out the way of linking through universes and dimensions, to another race that was pretty much the same as Equestria and Ponykind. Their race even had a huge following of a TV show depicting Equestrian life, how weird is that? Many of them were sceptical of whether she was the real Princess Luna 'from the show', as they put it, but after opening Skype chats with a few of them, they knew the truth. They had their own category on her friends list as well, which was at the very top of it.
My little Bronies (4 online)
Luna smiled, and turned on her headset. She figured she could keep herself entertained a while longer. After all, she wasn't 'mature' enough to help run Equestria, except maybe the odd passing of a law.
"Hmm..." Luna thought quietly, looking at the 4 that were playing a game. "Let's see...FreeMan, playing Team Fortress 2...hammerjack, Team Fortress 2, no surprises there...Face McShooty II, doing nothing. Alright, let's see if he wants a chat, then." Luna's mouse, gripped in a magical blue aura, moved to click on the menu beside the name of her human friend. 'Send Message' was already highlighted when the menu opened, so it was a simple click that opened yet ANOTHER window. It was a simple affair, telling her never to share her password with anypony, and a small type bar at the bottom. In the middle was a list of all the things they'd ever said to each other. Jokingly flirty comments, links to YouTube videos, and other things filled the box after a few seconds. Smiling at the memories, the Princess clicked on the type box.
'sup, My little British Brony. she typed, then hit enter. Seconds later, there was a reply.
Face Mcshooty II: Hey Lulu. Want me to turn my mic on?
Luna smiled, and made sure hers was on.
Everypony's Favourite Moon Goddess: You read my mind, Face. The sound of a phone ringing was heard, and at the top of the chat box there was the option to answer the call, or decline it. Of course, wanting good conversation, she answered. A moment of silence passed, with a male voice stuttering into life over her headphones, before smoothing itself out again.
"Sup Princess." Face said calmly over the microphone.
"Hey Face." she replied. "You bored too?"
"Aye." answered the young man. "Wanna play a game?"
"Alright, what is there?"
"Ehm...Team Fortress 2?"
"Nah."
"Counter Strike Source?"
"Mmmm...tempting...what else?"
"Ehhh, Moonbase Alpha?" chuckled Face.
"Oh, hilarious. Need I remind you how easy it would be to teleport you here, buck you in your wedding vegetables, then send you back?"
"Alright, alright, I know you're scared of the little girl, jeez. Well, anyway. Errr...Alien Swarm?"
"Think the servers'll be working?"
"Probably not, good point. What about Garry's Mod?" Luna paused. Garry's Mod?
"Excuse me? Garry's Mod?" asked Luna, flivking through her entire games library.
"W-Well, yeah. Garry's Mod? You haven't got it?" Face replied through the microphone. "Try looking it up. You can reach Earth's internet, right?"
"Yeah, lemme look." Luna opened a new internet tab, which lead her to her Google homepage. "Ga-rry's-Mod." Luan hit enter after typing. In a few seconds, the screen had filled with results, with many YouTube videos titled 'The GMod Idiot Box', followed by an episode number. "The GMod idiot box?"
"Yeah, it's a bunch of comedy sketches some guy made on Garry's Mod." Face replied. "They're pretty stupid, you should watch them to see the things you can do in the game. Take a look, and I'll link you to a few screenshots I've made in the game." Luna obliged, while she waited for the internet to load the pages with the videos on, the corner of her screen received a link to Face McShooty's Screenshots. I bet these are pretty stupid.
----------------------------
"Wow." Luna whistled, looking at the image of the RED Spy being hunted by hundreds of BLU Pyros. "These are impressive."
"Yeah, I know." Face replied smugly. "It's been around for a while, have you not seen it on the store?"
"No, I haven't." Luna sighed. "I looked it up on the store a few minutes ago, and it isn't there. Maybe it can't make it across the dimension gap?"
"Maybe..." Face suddenly gasped in realisation. "Or, what if it's waiting for Everypony's Favourite Moon Goddess to use her skills to create it?" Luna was speechless, and sat with a confused 'WTF is that supposed to mean?' expression on her face.
"...what." she asked quietly.
"What I'm saying is, that if you managed to design PhotoStore 8 for Equestrian PC's, why not try your hoof at designing a game?" Face asked. "...Hello? Face to Luna? Do I need to come over and give you the Kiss of Life?"
"No, no, I'm fine...it's just I don't think I could figure it out alone." Luna sighed, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. "Did this 'Garry' person who created the game have help?"
"Of course! He had Facepunch studios helping to create GMod thirteen. Why not enlist, like, Twilight's help? After all, neither of you have Royal duties to fulfil, I assume?"
"I suppose. Well, it's worth a shot if it means I have something to do." Luna smiled. "Thanks Face, I owe you a £100 voucher."
"Wait, wha-"
Ka-Klick.
-------------------
Luna almost felt bad for hanging up on him, but his reward was on its way, so she assumed £100 was worth about 2 Mann Co. Keys. Those were 2 bits each, and she wasn't sure about the exchange rate, but she was hopeful he would get something good in the summer sales. Until then, she had buisness to attend to. Said buisness was calling up Twilight to see if she wasn't busy.
---------------------
Twilight's avatar, a human soldier in desert camoflage, ran over the dunes, before diving into a nearby bunker. There was an almighty bang, and a large explosion smashed the side of the building open. Through the smoke, a tank rolled in like it owned the place, the gunner spraying bullets everywhere as the artillery cannon followed a small jeep driving through the middle. Twilight wasn't sure why there was 10 packs of C4 all over it, but she knew Banzaii knew what he was doing. He jumped out, rammed the small jeep into the tank, before pressing the detonator on the C4. The whole building collapsed, killing the tank, Twilight, Banzaii, and a group of other players.
"Oh, Banzaii..." Twilight giggled. "You really love doing that." Just then, the corner of Twilight's screen popped up with a message.
Everypony's Favourite Moon Goddess wants to start a voice chat.
It must have been important, so Twilight instinctively answered.
"Yes, Luna?" Twilight began.
"Twilight, what are you doing tonight?" Luna asked quickly. A few dirty thoughts of what this was about flashed into Twilight's head, before she replied.
"Well, nothing, I don't think. Why?" she replied.
"OK, good. You know Face McShooty II, right?"
"Yes, he's a good friend of mine."
"Well, we were trying to find games to play, and he said somethig called 'Garry's Mod'. I know you're already looking this up, so I'll get right to the point. It isn't available in Equestria, so I plan to make a version that is."
"Wait, you want to make a game?"
"Yes, that's the plan, at least."
"Well, count me in!"
"You're aboard? Nice! Meet me in my chambers, and we can start work tonight. Sound good?"
"Yeah, sure. Do you want any human help?"
"...maybe later on, if we're struggling, but we'll be fine, I know we will."
--------------------
"Hmm...-hic-this is harder than I thought." Luna slurred.
"Yes, it is. Let's both try harder. -hic-" Twilight giggled in reply, slouching over the table.
"What does it look like I'm doin'?"
"It looks like you're trying to kiss my flanksssss..."
"It won't make a difference to us, we're both drunk."
"Good point, let's do this game thing tom'rrow."
"Wha...? Alrigh', what do you wanna do now?"
"More beer, then we play strip-poker?"
"We're not wearing clothessssss...!"
"Right, 'f course. -hic- Wanna jus' make out?"
"Mayb-hic-. Imma jus' go sleep."
Luna's entire alcohol filled world went black, as she fell asleep on Twilight.
Meet the L-Mod development team*! (*Not really, it's just a couple of mares and a human they've never met.)
"So, you two." Face began. The group chat consisted of the human, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight, the latter two of which had ended up really drunk the night before. "You're really planning to go ahead with this?"
"Yes," Luna groaned, "And not so loudly, please. Twilight and I are still hungover."
"Alright, sorry. So, do you plan to have Steam Workshop access?"
"Steam Work-what what-what?" Twilight asked, sipping more coffee out of her third mug. Her assistant, Crimson Quill, hadn't received much rest since the night before, so the maroon, grey maned unicorn had a tired look in his eyes.
"Workshop access." Face repeated, for Twilight's sake. "It basically means that Steam users can create their own items, and then allow them to be used in game. For example: say...I wanted a model of a car that I could use in game, rather than the ones already in it. I could go onto the Workshop, look for a car I wanted, then click 'Subscribe'. When I next loaded up Luna's Mod, the car would download, and I could use it as an addon. You understand now?"
"Mmm...sort of." Luna replied. "So, it's sort of like the Skyrim workshop, but for my game?"
"Yeah, like that!" Face encouraged. The sound of female groaning was heard over the microphone. "Right...sorry. But yeah, there's already a Workshop for Garry's Mod on Earth, and I've personally downloaded a few add-ons that have been pretty useful. By the way, how far have you got with designing and programming the game so far? There isn't really a deadline, so it's no big deal, plus, we only came up with the idea yesterday."
"Well..." Luna's face felt hot all of a sudden. "We...haven't started?"
"Yeaaahhh..." Twilight sighed. "We got sidetracked by a few bottles of beer...each..."
"Well, as long as you don't end up like Demoman." Face laughed, encouraging more pained groans from the girls. "Again, sorry. Hmm...I just thought of something, but it slipped my mind..." There was a few moments of silence, as the two mares listened.
"What?" Luna asked. "Will it help development?"
"Hold on...yeah, idea." Face chuckled. "Why don't you ask The Almighty Gaben for help?" Luna and Twilight went into shocked silence. Ask...Gaben? I didn't know Face took drugs.
"Y-You're kidding, right?" Luna stuttered. Her hangover cleared almost instantly. "A-Ask GABEN?"
"Luna, you realise he's probably a bit drunk?" Twilight asked. She seemed to sober up even faster than her fellow Princess. Face groaned down the microphone.
"Twilight, you of all the...10 people and ponies on my friends list should know I don't drink." he scoffed. "You know that bottle of Griffonian Vodka you decided to send me through dimensions?"
"Well, no, I was probably drunk." Twilight muttered, hanging her head slightly.
"Well, I had it looked at by a Government lab, saying that I'd destroyed the bottle and kept a sample, and two weeks later they warned me that it, and I quote, 'might as well have been a bottle of paint stripper'. You threw me off drinking for life, you lavender minx."
"And what about the cigars you traded me for Deus Ex: Human Revolution?" Luna asked, smirking at the small tale.
"Smoked 'em. Wait, how does this relate to the conversation?" Face asked.
"Erm, I don't know." Twilight replied. "But anyway, you want us to ask Gabe Newell? How can we do that?"
"Well, you could E-Mail him, because that's how the world works..." Face trailed off. "Just listen to some of the things he said about Half-Life 2. He practically tells the internet how to ask him when Episode 3 comes out."
"Face..." Luna sighed. "Are you just trying to lead this up to you being able to visit us in Equestria?"
"What? No."
Y-TRUTH
B-DOUBT
A-LIE
"OK, I'm gonna go for 'lie'." Twilight giggled.
"Seriously, I am definitely not trying to visit you." Face lied. "I can just send you parts of the maps, ragdolls, and scripting over E-Mail. So, I definitely don't need to visit when we have le internetz."
"I suppose." Luna chuckled, tapping a hoof to her chin. "When the game's reaching the final phases of development, we could probably pull you up here to help with Beta-testing, debugging, and press-conferences."
"Wait, why press-conferences?" Face groaned. "You realise I suck at speeches..."
"Well, it'd be good for publicity." Twilight replied. "Practically nopony in Equestria knows that the games they play involving the Mythical Humans are actually MADE by humans, so how would they react to see a human endorsing a game? Positively."
"You hope." Face muttered. "But, we'll set that bomb when we need to. Otherwise, I think you two are just being slightly delirious from your hangover."
"Why?" Twilight snorted, raising her snout.
"Because you're asking me to endorse a game. Get, like, Will Smith to do it. Or Gordon Freeman's voice actor."
"We're not asking," Luna corrected. "We're bribing."
"Oh, OK, little miss Will-Bender. What do you offer?" Face laughed.
"Whatever pleases you..." Luna said in a sultry tone. Twilight was stifling laughs with a hoof, but it wasn't working.
"NO." Face said firmly.
"Please?" Luna changed her tone. "I'll be your best fri-wait, hold on. I'll...erm..."
"Yes?"
"Errr..." Luna was struggling. Despite her having a vast expanse of knowledge, her hungover brain couldn't come up with anything. "We'll think of something. For now, we need to assign jobs. Twilight, what do you want to do?"
"I could do model design, animations, and game engine work?" the lavender alicorn replied. "Crimson! Take a note, please!" The sound of a male cough, and a magical levitation spell using a quill was heard.
"Done." came the quiet voice of the stallion.
"Good boy." Twilight giggled. "You go take a break, I'll be fine." Hoofsteps were faintly heard over headsets, before Twilight coughed. "So, yes. I'll do that. Face, what're you going to do?"
"Legal things." replied the human. "Effectively, we're plagiarizing a game that's already been made. I'll need to convince Garry Newman, if I can contact him, that this won't outsell Garry's Mod on Earth. Then, I can get to work on Steam Workshop capabilities, advertising, etcetera. Sound good?"
"Yeah, of course." Luna smiled. "Finally, I can work on major scripting, map design, and a unique menu system."
"Well, that's all of us with jobs." Face sighed happily. "Oh, important thing, do you two have the SDK application?" The answer was a joint 'no' from the Princesses. "OK, just look it up. It's a sort of menu that lets you access the Hammer map editor, Source Film-Maker if we need it, and a ragdoll viewer. Once you have that, we have what we need to get started."
"Agreed." Luna nodded, though neither of the two could see her. "So, you two ready for this?"
"Well, Lulu," Celestia whistled through her teeth after hearing the idea, "I don't know if this is exactly what a Princess should be remembered for being involved in..." The dining hall only had the three Princesses in it at one end, plus a few Nobles, Generals, and Ambassadors seated at the table in discussion. "Really, your reputation isn't good with the public after the whole 'Nightmare Moon' fiasco, just think what would happen if you made a game where you can sellotape dynamite to somebody's testicles."
"Yes, I did think," Luna replied smartly, sipping some more of her wine. "And what I can think is going to happen is that Twilight and I will become 'the social Princesses'. We'll be remembered for bringing hours of entertainment to millions across two different dimensions, and plus we'll have done some great Princess-to-Princess-to-Human bonding."
"You have a human helping?" Celestia groaned. "Luna, you know that won't end well. He might ruin your project."
"Sister, he attends a Media College in West London. He's got more than enough knowledge of working in the topic." Luna shot back. "And besides that, he says he'll do the advertising and legal work. He isn't doing any of the software design."
"So it's just you two doing work on the actual game and the human is figuring out how to tell Everypony about it?" Celestia considered. Twilight nodded.
"Yes, and that also means that we won't have to bring him here or go to him!" beamed the purple alicorn. Celestia still seemed sceptical about it, sipping carefully on her non-alcoholic wine. Her sister and former student had both grown into more mature figures for the whole country, and now they were acting as diplomats across two dimensions by making a game that, by lack of any less insulting words, was quite frankly retarded. She was, of course, not calling her dear sister or best pupil intelectually challenged; if anything, they could both be smarter than her by simply bothering to make this game of theirs. Celestia was a gamer herself, but wouldn't dare going into the art of software engineering for fear of accidentally making her computer explode. She figured it would be best if she stuck to UGC Platinum League TF2 for the moment.
Maybe delve into advanced programming when she had the patience (and several more computers).
"So my sister isn't too enthusiastic about you helping us, Face." Luna began. "She seems insistent you'll do something to wreck both Twilight's and my life."
"Can't: Mum says no." Face replied matter-of-factly. "And plus, there's also the point that I can't visit you or anything, so why'd she be worried about that?"
"Erm..." Luna went silent. "You...uh...hmm...remember the night where we...both...got drunk...and...sent...those pictures...?" Face was emanating a field of concern down the microphone.
"Yeeeeeaaaah...?" he replied cautiously.
"Well...how would you respond...if...um...I told you...I looked for one of my USB flash drives one time...and found it in my sister's PC...and, uh...she'd moved those pictures you sent me into her 'Special' folder...?" Luna trailed off. Face let out a breath.
"Oh, thank god. I thought you were, like, gonna say they were distributed." he chuckled. There was a pause. "Wait, your sister has CLOPPED over them?!"
"Listen, calm down, I know it's weird..." Luna began comforting.
"No, it's a friggin' honour!" he laughed. "The Princess of a foreign land has diplomatically-"
"OK, just shut up, this is hard enough."
"Bow chicka bow wow."
"Can it. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Celestia's not too hot-"
"Bow chicka bow wow."
"-ON THE IDEA THAT I AM WORKING WITH YOU." Luna spoke up to drown out Face's incessant Tuckerisms. "Faust, Face, seriously. Just listen. You need to be careful. If you slip up once, Celestia is going to try everything to stop me and Twilight from talking to you. She's pretty strict on that kind of thong. Thing. Ah, dammn, talking's difficult when you let out a secret like that."
"Don't worry, it's safe with me." Face replied. "Anyway, I can't mess up your project. I'm working in advertising and legal work. All I need to do is convince a game developer that the two pony Princesses, one of whom has a sister who has pleasured herself over anonymous pictures of me, will NOT outsell his game in any way shape or form. No big deal."
"Oh..." Luna groaned. "I'm SO going to regret telling you that."
"You'll regret it later. Right now, we need to get some work done. If you get Twilight up to speed after I explain the facts about SDK, then I think we'll be set to go."
"Alright, shoot."
"OK. First off, you'll want to get the software open..."
"...and that just about covers it. You get all that?"
"Wow, good Faust, Face, you covered what might as well have been an advanced tutorial in the space of ten minutes. And we've finally opened a new project."
"Yeeeeah, I should have mentioned this will take literally forever. Hey, if it works at the end, we'll have accomplished something."
"Yeah, I suppose. So, we've got a blank canvas. You wanna help paint it?"
"Ah, nah, I'm a Publicist, not a Designer."
"You really like Red VS Blue, don't you, Face?"
"And your sister is DEFINITELY a Lover. Bow chicka bow wow."
"Just shut up. Let's get this going!"
"Certainly. That toolbar on your right is going to be one of your new best friends for however long it takes to build this all..."
And so began the longest night Luna had ever had since the whole 'possessed, wake up with worst hangover ever' fiasco.