The Adventures of Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth in the Five Score Divided by Four Universe
Strange, increadible fates have befallen a pair of people. With bodies and minds, hearts and hooves, and heads and tails changing, things rapidly escalate and get out of hand or rather hoof.
Based on "Five Score Divided by Four" by TwistedSpectrum
The characteristics and personalities of Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth are based upon "The Life and Times of a Winning Pony" by Chengar Qordath
Mornings are hell, plain and simple. First a restless night with fleeting nightmares robbed me of good sleep, then an alarm that is much too loud, much too early culminating into a faceplant on the floor in a tangled mess of sheets. To top it off, we are out of coffee and my roommate used the last of the milk for his cereal. Days don’t start much better than this.
I stared at my roommate, Jessie, from across the table and gave him the best scowl I could, but as usual his impassive, stoic face showed no sign of recognition.
“We seem to be out of milk and coffee.”
“It is your turn to go shopping this week,” he said in a bland monotone without looking up from his newspaper.
“I call bull on that,” I said with growing agitation in my voice.
“Check the calendar on the fridge. It is your turn.” he responded coolly.
I grumbled and checked the calendar and lo and behold it was my turn to buy groceries. Fuck. I hate it when he’s right. You see, Jessie is the sort of person who is exceptionally organized, clean, and stoic. It comes from being a military brat growing up and his stint in the service. I found his personality to be both infuriating and admirable. I’d try to jerk at his chain now and again to get a reaction, but so far little if anything could bring an emotion to his face other than seriousness.
“Anything interesting in the news today?” I asked, groping around in a feeble attempt at small talk.
“Nothing that you didn’t already know. People dying, crying and lying,” he blandly responded.
“So I see,” I paused before adding, “I’m going to run down to Starbucks and get my caffeine fix, do you want anything?”
“I’ll come with you. I could stand for a jolt.”
I fiddled around the house looking for my keys while responding, “I’m not sure why you bother, you are still grumpy before and after your morning joe, so why waste your money?”
“I like the flavor of coffee. The caffeine does nothing for me.”
A clink of metal indicated I struck gold as I fished out my keys, complete with a Derpy key fob. I subconsciously rubbed Derpy’s likeness as flashes of light and sound rushed before my eyes. I didn’t understand much of it, but I could make out a female’s voice pleading for mercy and evil, maniacal laughter.
“So, are we going to go, or are you just going to stand there?” Jessie deadpanned.
I shook my head of the strange memory and filed out to my beat-up car with Jessie in tow. I got in, turned the key and with a whine the motor refused to start. A few cuss words, prayers to any divine who’d listen to me and several attempts later the engine coughed and wheezed to life and I put Anne in gear. Jessie always thought of my anthropomorphism of my car was strange, but like my other quirks, he never bothered or teased me about them. Despite his demeanor, I do enjoy Jessie’s company. Yes, he is as interesting to talk to as a brick and just as hard, but we had lived in harmony for several years now, putting up with each other’s shit and had not managed to kill or maim each other, at least not yet.
As usual the drive-through was insanely long, so we opted to park and walk inside. I sighed as another, albeit not as long, line awaited us inside. I periodically poked my phone as Jessie stood much too straight next to me. I guess years of military training and drill instruction drills a perfectly straight posture into you at all times. Although I loved to tease him, it must have been hell growing up the way he did with no friends and a family that was cold and distant. Granted I am not the paragon of idyllic living, growing up as an orphan and bouncing within the foster care system, but still I had emotions as opposed to my Vulcan-like friend. I wonder if his emotionless state actually comes from Vulcan-like mental training and maybe he has telepathic abilities. Or maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself and he really is just my boring roommate with no deep secrets.
I finally reached the counter as a cute barista took our orders, coffee as back as hell and strong as death for Jessie and mocha with foam for me. Jessie raised his eyebrow at my clearly calorie-laden and sweet drink but said nothing. A few minutes found us with our sweet prizes and a table by the window as we watched the people bustle about. I sipped my chilled drink and almost instantly felt better as the coffee hit my system, almost erasing the trouble of the morning. As per usual, Jessie’s cup was half empty (or full, depending on how you look at it), but no discernible change in his countenance could be seen. Even after all this time, I still couldn’t understand the enigma of Jessie. My musing left the two of us in silence only punctuated by the din of the room. I wracked my brain for a topic of conversation for a minute then said,
“I would seem your and my birthday is tonight.”
“Yep.”
“Doing anything special?”
“Nope.”
“Wanna come with me to a rave? They claim to have the best dubstep in town. It’ll be fun!”
“No thanks.”
“So you are just going to stay home on your 25th birthday? You’re now a quarter of a century old. It is a momentous event!”
“Not really. Just another day. I hope to get some sleep without you, for once.”
“It wouldn’t hurt you to get out now and again.”
“Let’s just say that your idea and my idea of a good time do not coincide. I’m not interested.”
“You are a regular stick-in-the-mud. Suit yourself.”
After our momentous conversation, we headed off to home to pick up our lunches and stuff for work. Jessie was off to work as foreman on a construction site somewhere on the east side of the city. Given his military experience, I was surprised to learn that he wasn’t off recruiting or training new recruits or something, but he claimed that it got old after a while. I sighed as I looked at my lunch and tie, reminding me that I was off to my boring bureaucratic desk job. Don’t get me wrong; the pay, hours and workload are reasonably agreeable, but still boring as hell with the same drudgery day in and day out.
My buzzed mood slowly eroded as construction coupled with rush hour traffic made getting to work a living hell with several unexpected attempts at my life were nearly thwarted by my hand. I swear some days that the universe is conspiring against me and seeing exactly how much crap I’ll put up with before I break. I’ve got news for you, universe, today is not that day.
I managed to arrive with five minutes to spare as I looked at the elevator with despair as an ‘out of order’ sign was placed on it. I sighed and slowly trudged up the stairs and arrived on the top floor out of breath as I cursed whoever decided it was a good idea for me to work up here, when I slowly realized it was me who asked for a transfer up here, so I could have a cubicle with a window. I glanced at my watch and seeing I had a minute before I was late, I sprinted down the hall and punched into the time clock without a moment to spare.
My boss poked his head in, “You should be proud of yourself, Joseph. This is the first time all week you’ve been here on time. I would recommend throwing you a party or something, except for the fact that you are supposed to be here on time, EVERYDAY.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“You better be. I don’t want excuses, I want results. I want you here on time, or you will find yourself jobless. Do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal clear, sir.”
I sighed as I sat down before my computer and got to work. Several memos, emails and a pointless meeting later found me at a late lunch with a boring PBJ, a small bag of baby carrots, a bag of chips and a can of pop. Two of my coworkers decided to join me, us all having been released from the torturous meeting about the same time. One I never remembered the name of, but I knew she had an amazing green thumb and grew all sorts of veggies and fruits in her prize winning garden. The other I nicknamed ‘Derpy’ after the wall eyed pegasus of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fame due to her clumsiness, bubbly personality, habit of having strange facial expressions when frustrated, and love of MLP, although her real name was Jo Ann.
“Hey, Joseph. What’s going on with you?” Derpy asked.
“Nothing much. Just getting though today and anticipating tonight,” I replied.
“What’s going down tonight?”
“I’m turning twenty-five and I’m going to a rave down on the south side.”
“No way! I’m turning twenty-five today too!”
“You don’t say?”
“I do say. Sounds like a night of fun! Can I come? I was just planning on getting drunk and watching a movie marathon.”
“No thanks. I’ll celebrate my twenty-fifth romantically with my husband. Wait, did you just call me Carrot Top?”
“No, at least I don’t think so. Anyway, sorry if I did.”
“It’s OK. The name has a nice ring to it unlike my actual name of Organa Fugenbaur.”
“Remember you married into that name. Maybe you ought to get a name change,” I teased.
“My husband’s name suits me just fine. I don’t like the name you gave me that much, thank you very much. Anyways, I have to return to work. Happy birthday and see you two featherbrains tomorrow.”
I stared at her with an inquisitive tilt of my head at the strange insult, and with that, Organa left the lunch room.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what marathon were you going to watch?”
“Oh, the My Little Pony episodes. I can still say that they are one of the best TV shows I’ve ever watched, even with that screwed up ending.”
“Yeah, what was with that? Discord showing his true colors wasn’t too big of a stretch, but his complete takeover of Equestria, his bloody rise to power and leaving the whole show on a gigantic cliffhanger really left a sour taste in my mouth.”
“I know, right?” she then added with flourish, “Bronies and pegisisters for life, brohoof!” and I promptly bumped her outstretched fist as we smiled and shared a laugh that brought a couple of strange stares from nearby tables. I ignored them and gave her a friendly hug,
“By Celestia, Derpy, where would I be without you? I swear you are the only reason I put up with this job.”
She blushed before adding, “Ditto. So you’re coming around about seven?”
“Yes indeed. See you at your place.”
“Alright see you then, Blossom, er Joseph.”
Quitting time didn’t seem to come soon enough. As soon as the clock struck five, I rushed out of the office and raced to my car to beat traffic home. I stopped by and nabbed some groceries, a little heavy on the fresh fruit and veggies, since they were on sale and with practically no meat since it was a bit pricey and honestly looked unappetizing. I also was overwhelmed with an insatiable craving for celery and picked up a whole mess of the stuff. Usually, I only rarely cook it and occasionally eat it raw, but I figured some healthy food might be nice for a change instead of the loads of junk food that dominate our panty. I also picked up some sugar cubes for some reason, even though I’m not a serious tea drinker.
After putting the foodstuffs away I found my favorite clubbing outfit and took a shower before heading out. I let the water cascade over me to release the stress of the day and let my mind wander. Suddenly, I came overtaken with a sudden itch on my leg. I looked down, expecting to see a bug bite or rash, but instead I made a curious discovery: the faint outline of a pair of flowers on my thigh. I stared at them for the longest time, wondering how and why these strange marks appeared on my rear.
Strange, distinct marks on my flank. Could it be? No, I must be day dreaming. It couldn’t be, could it? A cutie mark? But how? Why? Who’s cutie mark is this? I stared at my thigh for a few minutes and when no answer came to me I decided that it must be nerves and imagination. Apparently I needed a break tonight more than I realized.
I left the shower, got dressed and had a bite to eat before going out. I warmed up some leftover spaghetti and waited for the microwave to cook it as I thought more about my cutie mark. The longer I thought about it, the more it failed to make sense. Although Jessie knew of my love for My Little Pony, he never pranked or teased me about it, or about anything for that matter. He was still the same boring roommate I’d always known him to be. Derpy, although we shared a love for MLP and she had pranked me from time to time, she had no opportunity to bring this on me, unless I was drugged or fell asleep on the job. My job is boring, but honestly, I never have slept at work. So where could this have come from?
A ding from the microwave pulled me out of my reverie and a game of hot hands later found me at the table with my prize of warm spaghetti. I took a bite and found it was disgusting and unpalatable. I thought about when I made it and when a date didn’t come to mind I decided it must be old and tossed the whole mess down the sink and grabbed one of the apples I bought and ate that instead. It was so amazingly delicious, so I had to have another.
With my hunger satiated, I was ready for a night of the best dubstep in the city and a psudeo-date with Derpy. Things were looking up indeed. However, I couldn’t shake the ominous feeling of dread with my new found cutie mark and its implications, but enough worrying and more partying! To quote the ponies, tonight was going to be the best night ever!
I picked up Derpy at her place at approximately seven. As usual, she wasn’t quite ready when I arrived and I had to wait for several minutes for her to lock up her apartment and join me. The wait was well worth it as she was sporting a gorgeous party dress that showed off her curves. I couldn’t help but stare at her for a minute as she clamored in. Noticing my distant expression and distracted demeanor, she waved her hand in front of my face, pulling my attention to her face.
“Earth to Joseph. This is ground control. Are we going to go out tonight or are you just going to stare at me?” she asked with some irritation in her voice.
I bumbled and mumbled for a minute before my brain caught up with my mouth, “It’s just you look so stunning tonight. I couldn’t help myself.”
She blushed and retorted, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“Do you really think so, because you are dressed to kill and I seem to be dressed to maybe maim somebody.”
“You really know how to turn a phrase,” she snarked sarcastically, “Come on, let’s go get deafened, blind, and drunk.”
“That sounds like an excellent plan.”
I nodded assent and put the car into gear. The driving was relatively uneventful and allowed me to steal a glance or two at Derpy and reassert her gorgeous physique. The radio suddenly caught my attention as my MP3 player decided at that time of all times to play ‘Winter Wrap Up.’ I blushed and reached forward to turn down the volume, when Derpy beat me to it and turned it up to nearly maximum. The frame of Anne rattled something terrible as the song blared out of my car, much to Derpy’s delight, to my slight pain and to the visible annoyance and astonishment of a few nearby motorists.
We arrived at the club well after nightfall and I got raped for parking at some outrageous fee, but we made it. The hypnotic music emanated from the former warehouse and like flies to flame, we approached with fascination and glee. I argued with the bouncer who promptly let Derpy in for free but barred my entrance. I reluctantly paid the cover and we entered the club. Multicolored strobe lights pulsated in time to the music as a DJ sporting jet black hair and shades stood at the turntables, looking like he was having the time of his life. The energy in the room was almost palatable as the crowd swayed, danced and, for some very uncoordinated people, spastically flailed to the beat of the electronic music.
I took Derpy out on the floor and we swayed and danced to the music, the music and her body mesmerizing me with every step. I felt almost in a trance as everything seemed to meld together into a grand feeling of contentment. A few hours on the floor later found us exhausted and we sashayed over to the bar. We gulped our drinks in silence, as the music made conversation difficult. However, that didn’t stop me from noticing her periodically itch her thigh at about the same location where I’d expect a cutie mark to be. I subconsciously itched the same area, and thought it more than mere coincidence. I raised my voice to try and ask her about it, but she misunderstood my intentions and grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back out onto the dance floor. I tried to voice my protest, but she wouldn’t hear of it as we returned to the dance floor.
I put the question to back of my mind and gave myself over to the music. One track after another melded together putting me into a lucid state of dream-like alertness. The line between reality and dream became harder and harder to define as the club and people disappeared into colors and shapes. The once overwhelming music became seemed almost muted and reduced to a dull throb, methodical and regular, almost like a heartbeat. The lights and figures coalesced into new creatures and shapes. A scene began to be played out before my eyes, almost surreal in its seeming reality.
“Cloud Kicker, go! Save yourself. I’ll hold him.”
“No, Blossomforth. I will not leave you. If we die, we die together. Kickers always protect those who cannot protect themselves. “
A maniacal laugh filled the air. “Knock, knock my little ponies. Come out, come out, where ever you are.” The agent of chaos himself walked into my field of view. “Ah, there you are. Are you two ready to come out and play?”
“What do you want Discord?” Cloud asked with great venom in her voice.
“Oh, nothing much. Just perpetual chaos, the ability to rule with absolute impunity and no meddling kids or their dumb dog to stop me.”
“What do you want from us?”
“Oh, nothing much. Just your undying loyalty. And if you join today, I’ll make you an element of disharmony for no extra charge.”
“We’ll never join you!” I defiantly asserted.
“Tis a pity. Such excellent ponies as yourself would go far in the Discordian Empire. Your loss.”
“Cloud, if we don’t live though this, I just want to say I love you.”
“I love you too, Blossom, more than life itself.”
With that Cloud Kicker bravely charged Discord as he casually yawned and turned her legs into roots bound into the dirt floor of our house with a wave of his unsightly claw, crimson with a red fluid I could only assume was blood.
“Love, does it conquer all? Well, you two will just have to find out together.”
Bodies and minds gone forevermore
Five score divided by four
“No! I screamed as I wrapped my forehooves around Cloud hoping to shield her from destruction as the world was enveloped in white light emanating from Discord’s talon accompanied by evil, maniacal laughter.
A flash enveloped my vision as I returned to the world of the living. “No! Cloud!” I screamed.
Derpy looked at me with a face of terror and fear muttering, “The children. My foals. Dinky, Sparkler. I can’t protect them. I couldn’t save them. Why?”
Derpy promptly swooned and collapsed at my feet and I was overwhelmed with a desire to do the same, but I resisted the urge and pulled her from the dance floor, much to the disgruntled dismay of some people I had the unfortunate happenstance to bump into. Several colorful insults and much cursing later, I sat with her at the bar as the bartender proved more than helpful providing her some water and me a free drink to calm my clearly shaken nerves. I offered payment, but she refused it claiming, “I saw what happened down out on the floor and...”
“Ma’am?” I asked, as she became almost frozen in place.
I stared at her, my panic beginning to rise as I jumped over the bar and checked her pulse. It was normal, elevated but she was very much alive. All of a sudden she came to, startling me as well as herself as we shared a quick gasp.
“Berry, are you alright?”
“I’m not sure. It was all so real…”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“No, I’m fine for now. I guess I need to lay off the bottle for a while or something.”
The music then came to a halt as the DJ slumped over the turntables, resulting in deafening audio static from distortion making everyone in the room cover their ears in discomfort. A bouncer removed the catatonic fellow as a person who I could only assume was the manager apologized and plugged in a disc of some sort and restarted the music. Several people filed out of the club in a huff as the crowd murmured, but eventually people returned to their evening. I offered my help to the bartender as we revived the musician.
“Hey, Neon. Are you alright?” the bartender asked.
“Yes. I’m fine. Just a bad dream. I’ve had worse on acid trips.” He responded.
“Are you sure, because I’ve never seen you black out like that, even when your high.”
“If I say I’m fine, I’m fine. I don’t need you dotting on me like a foal, Berry, I mean Fransisca.”
I thought about the strange exchange and was just about to say something when I noticed Derpy beginning to stir. Slowly Derpy came to, as we shared a hug. She cried into my shoulder, presumably about whatever her vision was. I almost cried out of resonance, as I knew Derpy well enough to know that if something made her sad, it was something devastating and someone needed to be paid a visit in pain for making such a sweet soul sad.
I figured whatever event befell us also befell them and wisely decided that it was time to head home; Derpy and I were both much too wound up from our flashbacks to continue to enjoy ourselves anymore. The ride home was obnoxiously silent and my attempts at conversation all ended up in failure. It would seem that whatever vision she saw had shaken her up really badly, especially since she was rarely one to be silent. I apologized for the dreadful night and asked her to call me if she needed anything. She nodded assent and headed to her apartment.
I rode home still trying to piece together the pieces of the puzzle in my head. All the events of the evening seemed surreal and impossible, yet I had a cutie mark on my flank and a flashback to Discord’s betrayal. Things were falling into place too perfectly for this to be mere coincidence, but Equestria wasn’t real, or was it?
My head was ablaze with thoughts and the buzz of alcohol, so I decided to pop a couple of acetaminophen tablets to combat my worsening headache. A quick shower revealed my cutie mark, now much more pronounced with two interlocking flowers one pink and one teal. I resolved to do research tomorrow online and give Derpy a call to try and figure out what to do. I fought to stay awake as I prepared for bed, before collapsing into a messy pile on top of my sheets. The late hour, brain overload, and pure exhaustion conspired to let me fall quickly to sleep.
By Luna’s moon, I love Saturdays. I get to sleep in, wake up without an annoying alarm and most days I go without greeting the floor by my face. This morning found me greeting the door frame to the bathroom instead with my forehead. I groaned and clutched my aching head and wondered why in Celestia’s name I hit my head on the top of the doorway or why I was swearing by the immortal princesses.
I walked forward and hit the stupid doorframe a second time. After several expletives too colorful to recite here, I ducked below the doorway and entered the bathroom still moaning and grumbling as I reached into the medicine cabinet for some pain pills. At the rate I go through these, I wonder if I’m actually addicted. After the capsules went down I got my first look at myself in the mirror. My eyes went wide with shock as I saw my reflection do the same. I gasped and poked at my reflection and after it did the same, I was satisfied I wasn’t in a Marx brothers’ skit but still amazed at the changes that befell me.
For starters I seemed to be taller, as the already large mirror almost truncated my reflection. A look at my feet found me on the balls of my feet, standing on my tippy-toes like a little foal trying to get a better view of a candy counter. I realized that my new walking habit coupled with my higher than average height made me hit the doorframe. I willed my feet to stand flat, but another few steps found me still on my toes. I thought through what little I knew of equine anatomy and remembered something to the effect of horses walk on their toes and that their hooves are nothing more than specialized chitin, the same thing that makes up fingernails and the exoskeletons of insects. Although this adequately explained my new walking behavior, it made it no less annoying.
A look at my chin also revealed a bit about my new form. When I went to bed I starkly remembered stubble on my chin and the need to shave, but this morning found me clean shaven. Not only that, but a nick that was on the underside of my chin where my razor cut me earlier last week was also completely gone, even though I remembered the bastard was painful as fuck, bled all over the place, and still was nasty as of yesterday.
Although my feet were strange, my hair, by far had the most changes overnight. At least if not more than an inch grew from my former buzz cut that I sported for years. Medium long hair now graced my scalp ending in a neat cut and slightly extending past my ears. But most amazingly of all, subtle highlights of bright green and magenta could be seen all though it in alternating stripes. I stared at my reflection, the realization of my pony transformation sinking in. I checked my flank, and as expected my cutie mark still resplendent in pink and teal flowers smiled back at me.
I took this opportunity to have a discussion with the universe; although I’m sure it didn’t understand or care about my plight. “Universe,” I said to the room, “We have been through a lot together. You have tried my patience, tried to kill me, and tried to make me go insane. So today, you throw the chips in and give me a crazy, surreal situation that is sure to cause trouble and test my sanity. Universe, I’m not sure where to start with you. Technicolor, fictional ponies? This is a new kind of strange even for you. But you know what, do you know what? I’m not even mad or depressed. I will take this in stride, if only to spite you and thwart your attempts to screw up my life.” I paused before adding, “I’m glad we had this talk. Keep calm and carry on, old sport.”
I remembered to duck as I passed through the doorway a second time and walked into the kitchen. I saw to my delight that Jessie had thought ahead to brew a pot of the life giving fluid that is coffee. Sometimes, that guy could be really thoughtful. I looked around for him to give him my thanks as I saw my roommate calmly sitting at the kitchen table. I opened my mouth to speak when he beat me to it.
“Joe, we need to have a discussion.”
My good mood immediately evaporated. Jessie was a nice guy most of the time, but whenever he had a discussion session, it was a guaranteed recipe to make me feel ten inches tall. That military training, physique, and personality all came together in a perfect storm to make you apologize for whatever he accused you of, regardless of whether or not you performed the act in question. If he ever had kids, I’m sure they would be the best behaved on the block due to this tactic.
I filled up my favorite coffee mug with a picture of Fluttershy emblazed on the side and filled it with the caffeine rich fluid. I sat down next to him, sipped a few mouthfuls of the brown liquid, and sighed, awaiting whatever vituperation I was about to receive.
“I think some congratulations are in order, Joe. You have finally done it. You have managed to get under my skin and made me angry. You’ve been trying to rile me up for years and at last you have done it, good job.” He said in the most condescending voice I’d ever heard from him punctuated by slow clapping.
“What are you talking about, Jessie?” I asked, just wanting to get my fleecing over with.
“I think you know full well what I’m talking about. The cloud and sun on either side of my thigh. I don’t know how you did it, but I want this tattoo or whatever it is removed now. If I have to beat you to a pulp or if it takes every quarter you own, I’ll get rid of it.”
“Wait, you have one too?” I asked with amazement.
“What do you mean, ‘I have one too?’ ”
“You must have a cutie mark like me, except yours is a cloud and sun and mine is a pair of flowers.”
“Look, I let you have your space and put up with your quirks, but it sounds like you planned this. You are too well informed for this to be mere coincidence.”
“I swear I don’t know how it happened! Don’t blame me.” I said in a cracked voice an octave too high.
“A likely story. This is always been your dream, right Joe? To travel to the world of those freaky ponies you adore so much. But you decided that you would do it one better and become one of those ponies. I tell you now, I don’t want to be a part of this. If you are so inclined to throw your life away in a magical land of rainbows and friendship and forget about reality, so be it. Change me back. Now.”
I began to cry as I looked Jessie in the eye and said in a weak voice, “This isn’t my fault and I cannot change it.”
“So, you are giving up then? You are unwilling to change me back? Is this how you repay me for my years of living with you and your filth, with your tongue, with your whinnying, with your parties and noise? Some friend you are. You claim to have the so called magic of friendship in your heart, but that doesn’t extend to your roommate, your best friend?”
I sobbed into my cup, my tears mixing with the coffee as I sputtered a response, “I didn’t cause this. I don’t know why it is happening. I am nervous and scared too. You can cowl me into submission, but that will not change the fact of the matter: we are transforming into ponies and I do not know how to stop it.”
Jessie stopped for a minute then began again, “Look into my eyes.” I obliged and stared into his irises. He studied my face for a moment before declaring, “Your eyes tell me everything. You are telling the truth.”
I breath I didn’t know I was holding was released as Jessie released me from his glare of death.
“So, do you now believe me?” I said weakly as I regained my composure.
“Yes. So, is there an antidote?” he asked calmly.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’m still not sure why or how this is happening. And why it is happening to us.”
“It could be a rip in the multiverse, or aliens or genetic manipulation or maybe reality is really a dream, like in the Matrix.”
“Although I am impressed at your knowledge of geek culture, rattling off potential offenders doesn’t change the situation.”
“Well, if we can figure out which one is responsible we can…”
“Do what? Storm the alien mothership, or team up with Dr. Who and repair the space time continuum or maybe sue a corporation or the government for transformation damages or defeat Discord with the Elements of Harmony? What is the likelihood of any of that coming to fruition or changing the here and now, Jessie? Have you not noticed the fact that you stand on the balls of your feet when you walk or that your hair is slightly longer and slightly blond? Or that my hair is also longer with subtle green and pink stripes? Fucking pink and green stripes! Something is going on here beyond our control and it is acting swiftly.”
“But maybe we can….”
“NO! Reality is here and it is knocking, Jessie. Wake up and look around you. Yes, this is strange. Yes it is surreal. Yes this is impossible, yet it still is happening. You can deny it all you’d like, but as strange as I seems, this is our life. We are to become talking, sentient, anthropomorphic ponies, whether you believe in them and the magic of friendship or not.”
Silence ruled the after Jessie’s pressure cooking and my impassioned speech. We both sat at the table and looked around and at each other occasionally for the better part of an hour as we nursed our coffees and thought.
Jessie broke the silence at last, “I say that we prepare by gathering supplies, forging plans, gathering information and making allies and friends.”
“All things considered, that actually is a fairly sound plan of action. What should we start with?”
“I’d say information gathering. Maybe we can find some information on the internet about these changes and if others have suffered them. It might also be handy to know what ponies we are turning into, although I’m sure you already know which ones. Not to mention computers are easier to use with fingers than hooves.”
With that, Jessie and I hit the Internet and surfed for the better part of the morning, looking for anything useful. For the most part our efforts were fruitless, as most tales of human to pony transformation fit well within the realm of fan fiction with no grain of truth to them. Only an isolated post now and again gave me a hint that the pony transformation phenomenon might be larger than just us. Even so, details were scarce and of little help. Most people/ponies were tight lipped and in denial about their physical and in some cases mental changes. I shuttered to imagine my brain changing into someone else and tried to put the thought as far from my mind as possible.
By early afternoon, I found my flank to be sore from the long hours staring at my computer screen and I joined Jessie for lunch. I quickly found out the source of my discomfort was nothing less than a tail matching my now distinct hair color and style. I was both enthralled and astonished at this turn of events. Much to my delight, I stroked this new extension of myself and found it pleasurable. I could get used to this. Jessie found his tail less than exciting as he irritably swished it back and forth in an almost mesmerizing pattern. I reached out to touch his tail and began to stroke it.
“What are you doing?”
“Your tail is so soft,” I snarked, “What sort of conditioner do you use?”
He huffed then said, “Well, don’t get used to it. I’m going to find a way to reverse this someday.”
“You never know,” I chided, “You may find ponydom fun and enjoyable.”
“Look, I know this must be the most amazing event to befall you since your birth or your first love or whatever very positive emotion you’d like, but not all of us share in you contentment.”
“Apparently some things never change. You are still a regular stick-in-the-mud.” I laughed.
“Let’s not get caught up in the changes. There is plenty of time to appreciate our new forms later, but we are fighting against lost hands. Keep your head in the game, Blossomforth,” he admonished.
“Sorry Cloud Kicker,” I mumbled back, “You’re right. Let’s get back to work.”
We both paused after our verbal exchange as our brains caught up with our mouths.
“Did I just call you by your pony name?”
“I think so. I called you Cloud Kicker and you called me Blossomforth.”
We paused for another moment before he continued,
“Fascinating. Our new bodies also come with new identities.”
“That isn’t fascinating, that is downright scary! I won’t be me anymore, I’ll be some Blossom chick. I don’t want to be a stereotypical girl and talk about boys and go the mall and gossip and stuff. I like being me.”
“Now look who is going ballistic. Maybe it isn’t as bad as you think.”
“Yeah sure,” I said with an eye roll, “like Blossom is a boy’s name.”
“That isn’t what I’m implying. Not all women are stereotypes.”
“I suppose you’re right. Maybe I could be a gamer chick or even better a nerdy girl.”
“Straight from one stereotype to another, eh? But seriously, we won’t know until it happens, so let us not obsess and forge ahead.”
I thought about his sage advice and realized I had just given it to him just a few hours ago. The realization hit me like an oncoming train that this transformation must have been intended for us both together as a small smile crept up to my face. I wrapped him in a quick hug.
“Why are you hugging me?” he asked with general curiosity.
“Because you are always there for me and I can count on you.”
“Thanks, I guess?” He returned the embrace and we broke off to finish our lunch.
The rest of the afternoon found me on my phone, the social media sites I frequented and various forums online contacting my friends in the Bronydom and beyond. Cloud er Jessie decided he’d had enough of screen staring and promptly slipped out and to obtain medicine, supplies, and feed to last us for the near future. I offered to go, but he claimed that he was able to handle it on his own and needed not my help. I knew that he would probably benefit from my presence, but from experience I knew that once he made his mind up, there was no changing it as I let my brick-headed roommate go out alone.
Although most of my friends thought my transformation story was the result of being high or the climax of an awesome fan fic, I got a response from Jo Ann, who apparently now was truly turning into Derpy. It seemed strangely fitting, but also weird at the same time.
“Blossom, I’ve never been so scared. What is happening to us?”
“We are turning into ponies, Derpy, plain and simple.”
“There is nothing simple about it! It’s all crazy and surreal and I don’t know what to do or where to go or…” Derpy trailed off as she breathed heavily into the phone.
“Look, Derpy. There is no point hyperventilating over something beyond your control. Just know that we are here for you.”
She paused for a minute before responding, “I suppose you’re right. Thanks Blossom.”
“Anytime. Any word on Carrot Top?”
“No, I haven’t heard anything. I hope she’s OK.”
“Me too. Don’t hesitate to call or come over if something is the matter.”
“So wait, you are staying in your house and not going someplace more suitable for ponies like the forest?”
“To the best of my knowledge we’re staying here,” although upon retrospect, I should have clarified this with Cloud, er Jessie before claiming that.
“You two are pretty brave for doing so, but if it works out, I might have to visit you sometimes. Creature comforts will be a welcome change from roughing it.”
“So you are not staying at your place?”
“No. It isn’t pony friendly and I have no way of paying rent in the long run, so I have to leave.”
“I can see that and I’m sorry to hear it. Take care of yourself and tell the foals I love them.”
“Wait, what foals? I don’t have kids….”
“Dinky and Sparkler? I thought…” I seat a a bead of seat dripped down my forehead. If one word could describe Derpy it was sensitive and I hoped I didn’t just commit a major faux pas.
“Dinky and Sparkler…. My adorable little unicorns! How could I have forgotten? I am a terrible mother. I hope they escaped Discord. Oh, how I miss them.”
“Wait what? Discord? What are you talking about?”
The other end of the line became punctuated by sobbing and I imagined by extension, tears.
She paused for another second before boldly declared with conviction and passion, “If they are here on Earth, I’ll find them. With Celestia as my witness, let them never be motherless!”
“Wait Derpy! Derpy!” as the phone clicked as she hung up. I briefly thought about calling her back, but decided that a mother’s love trumped my need for information and I wished her luck looking for her foals.
As I hung up, I heard subtle clop of hooves outside, signaling Cloud had returned from his trip with his truck overburdened with all sorts of supplies. A good hour found us ferrying bags and bags and more bags back and forth in a hectic rush, to the purpose of not attracting attention. Granted, our not so subtle clop of hooves made our walking noisy and if no one was already aware of our presence, they were now.
We collapsed on the couch, tired but triumphant as we debriefed each other on the events we missed. I told Jessie about my nearly fruitless web of friends and Derpy whom he wished well. He agreed with me that her ending was abnormally abrupt, especially given my description of her, but also agreed that mother’s love for her child could not be delayed or fathomed. I found the sentiment strangely deep, especially coming from Jessie, but then again, he never was the sort to talk about philosophy so I really had no idea if this was a movie or novel quote or his own personal mantra.
While shopping, Cloud quickly realized that we had pony ears and that our ankles were now immobilized and our toes were fused together and hard in anticipation of forming hooves. He was forced to buy a hoodie jacket out of necessity and some long jeans to hide his proto-hooves. I hadn’t noticed the changes until he pointed them out to me. I marveled at my new ridiculously big toe that more than lived up to its name. I felt the long ears and upon inspection in the mirror found them to be chalk white, long and pointy. I gave them a flick and giggled as they swiveled around my head like mini radar dishes. Cloud looked less annoyed at the new changes then when I saw him at lunch, but it could have been due to exhaustion rather than pure acceptance. Her lavender ears and now full blond mane seemed to go well together as she subconsciously flicked her ears a few times.
After a short rest, Cloud remarked, “These changes imply our fingered hours are numbered and much is needed to be accomplished before we permanently lose our dexterity.”
“Give it a rest, Cloud. Ponies can do many things hands can with their mouths and hooves and unicorns can manipulate objects with their telepathy. Enjoy your body for once.”
“You must know the pony I’m turning into. Are they a unicorn?” he asked.
“No. But you are becoming a pegasus.”
“That is kind of cool, but not really. I’d rather have magic than fly.”
“Seriously? You can fucking fly. Wait, I’m also turning into a pegasus. I’ll be able to fucking fly! That is fucking amazing! Holy fuck!”
“Calm the party, bro. Let’s get though today and put the stuff I bought away so we can move in here and find it all again when we need it.”
“Kill-joy.” I deadpanned.
Despite my body’s protest I got up and began to walk, sporting a gait that seemed unnatural and difficult to maintain. I decided it was my body beginning the transition to quadrapedal locomotion and I popped a couple more pain pills and powered through. Damn, caffeine and pain killer addictions, rehab here I come.
I found several of Cloud’s purchases to be of questionable intent.
“Hey Cloud, why do we need voice recognition software or some of this other junk you bought? What is this, condoms?!?”
“The software will allow us to use the computer with hooves.”
“We could hold a pen in our mouth and hunt and peck for keys. But that still doesn’t explain…”
“And that would take you forever to write a simple e-mail. This way is much easier.”
“But the Trojans…”
“Yeah, I’m not one-hundred percent sure why I bought them, but protection is important when you want to bang.”
“Seriously, Cloud.” I admonished, “You spend frivolously like this? If you haven’t noticed, there is no foreseeable way to get any income and we should conserve our money.”
“But…”
I gave him a thousand yard stare as whatever retort he had died on his lips.
By nightfall, everything got put away and I was beyond exhausted. Cloud decided he had one last errand to run, namely calling his father and asking for assistance.
“Are you sure you can trust him, Cloud? Doesn’t he work for the CIA or something?”
“Yes, and because of that he is the best person I know at keeping a secret. He has secrets so secret that they have secrets.”
I rolled my eyes, then recalled, “From my understanding, you two have never been close. What assurance do you have that he is going to help us?”
“He is family and he comes through in a pinch. I’ve done so on his behalf a few times and he has done likewise for me. I cannot see how’d this be any different.
“The difference is you are turning into Cloud Kicker from My Little Pony.”
He ignored my protest and he dialed his father and told him of our plight.
I tried to make out their conversation, but I only caught a word now and again, with not enough detail to make out what they were saying.
“So what did he say?” I asked.
“He said he’s going to come down in a day or two and assess the situation.”
“That is a strange way to phrase a visit, but I guess we can accept a guest. I’m gathering he is full human and not turning into a pony?”
“That is what it would seem.” Cloud unleashed a deafening yawn before adding, “I’m pooped. See you tomorrow, Blossom.”
I nodded and headed off to my bed and promptly fell asleep.
“Just keep on running. Come on Cloud, we don’t have time to dawdle!”
“Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine,” she chanted as she ran alongside me.
“Everything is not going to be fine, Cloud Kicker! The Element of Magic was vaporized, VAPORIZED before our very eyes. No Elements of Harmony, no Celestia, no Luna, there is nopony who can protect us now. It is up to us.”
“What can we do?”
“Hide in the Everfree and gather allies. Make a plan. The point is to not give up.”
“Why should we run?” she said distantly.
“What are you talking about? We need to get out of here! Let’s go.” I said in an exasperated shout.
“No, I like it here. It’s all good.” She said almost calmly
Confused, I looked at Cloud Kicker to see her eyes were an unnatural shade of yellow.
A voice that was not her own came from her mouth, “Yes, let us stay here, Blossom. Stay here and bang.”
“No, it can’t be,” as the realization came over me in a wave of shock.
“But it is.” Discord said though Cloud as the draconequus emerged from my lover in a tendril of snaky black smoke before coalescing into his more familiar shape, leaving Cloud Kicker with a manic grin and glossed over eyes.
I charged for Cloud as bindings of red licorice shot out of nowhere and bound my legs. I attempted to bite though the restraints, but they hissed and rattled in the manner of a rattle snake. I decided I was no use to Cloud dead so I attempted to parlay with Discord.
“Leave her alone!”
“Oh, Blossom. Silly, pathetic, weak Blossom. Your name suits you so well; you are a delicate lotus flower that is so easily crushed. You can’t stand on your own. Without Cloud Kicker to protect and guide you, you are nothing more than a shadow. A shadow kicker as it were. Look at her; she is in so much ecstasy, a perpetual orgasm if you will. She has never been this happy and she has not one ounce of trouble or pain, just pure pleasure. Her past, her heartache, all whisked away in the clutch of my spell.
You too could delight in perpetual bliss, the likes of which you can hardly imagine. One word is all it takes and the pain of you as an orphan, the teasing, bullying and abuse as a foal, the heartache, I can make it all go away. Just say yes.”
I awoke with a start. My sheets were drenched in sweat and all bunched up in a mummy-like bundle around me. I swear, if I ever get a hold of Luna I am going to give her a piece of my mind for subjecting me to all of these nightmares. Ponies need decent sleep every now and again.
I began to untangle myself as I slowly became more conscious, only to have my bladder catch up with me and scream a need to go to the bathroom. With an ungraceful flail, I managed to escape the tangled mess of my sheets as I slid off the bed into a bruised heap on the floor. I groaned at the pain, but more or less my pride was wounded worse than any part of me and I got up and sprinted to the bathroom.
I sat down on the toilet and relieved myself. I suddenly realized that my method of excrement was unusual for me and a quick inspection down below quickly revealed why. To my horror I looked downwards and found I had female genitalia. Flying feather. What sorcery is this? First I wake up as a girl, and now I have censored cussing? What the firetruck! Holy frack. Feathering featherheads. Freakazoid. Let’s try one more time. F-u-c-k spells fiddlesticks. Well, snotballs, this is annoying. Girl body parts, politically correct censoring; what is next, turning into a pony? Oh, wait. That is totally happening. Stupid me for trying to make sense out of an insane situation.
My mind began to race as I recalled everything I knew about females and I only became more and more concerned as all of the potential complications came to my mind. Pregnancy, being in heat, mood swings, menstruation and a slew of other things passed before my mind’s eye in a flurry as I began to hyperventilate. I didn’t ask for this, I don’t want a part of this! My mind rushed faster and faster until one thought dominated all of them, claiming that this is my true gender and I need not worry. I don’t know why I singled that thought out or why I believed it, but it made me become calm and better accept the results of the gender blender.
After I had calmed down and the adrenaline stopped flowing, I checked my reflection in the mirror to see what other changes had befallen me. First of all I noticed my hair was now a full mane in bold magnenta and green stripes, ending in a neat cut above my forehead. I also noticed that my tail was much more full than yesterday and now matched perfectly my mane with the same cut and color scheme.
The sour cream white ears I sported yesterday were even more prevalent as they had grown to their full size. Similarly, patches of white fur appeared all over my body, but were most prevalent near my cutie mark, which now was a full background of white around my rump.
My feet were now almost full hooves with a hard nail overlapping my toe. My heel was now little more than a small bump in my calf. The ankle now was nearly invisible as it seamlessly fused with my calf, which was now significantly shorter, as well as my thigh. I was both annoyed at getting shorter, but delighted that I hadn’t hit my head on the doorframe yet again today because of my height.
Most shocking of all, aside from my new gender, was my eyes. As a human, I had hazel eyes which were predominantly brown most of the time, but occasionally turned green whenever I was mischievous or flirtatious. Now my eyes were slightly bigger and a pale shade of bluish green, almost a light teal. I found them entrancing and quite beautiful and I wondered why I had never considered colored contacts in this color before.
A knock at the bathroom door pulled me out of my reverie.
“Hey princess, some of us want to use the restroom. Would you kindly let me do so?”
“Sure thing, Cloud. Just be careful.”
“Yeah sure, whatever. It’s only like I’ve gone to the restroom a bazillion times during my life. I think I can manage.”
I sighed and left the bathroom. I figured it be about thirty seconds before Cloud would flip out. I was wrong, she was from zero to panic in ten seconds flat.
“Blossom? Did you wake up as a female?!?”
“Apparently. You too, huh?”
“How can you be so nonchalant about it? We are both mares! What do we do?”
“What else can we do? Just roll with it. It is just part of ponification.”
“But how can I bang like this?”
“Honestly, the first thought you have with your new gender is your ability to bang? Really Cloud Kicker, I thought better of you.” I paused before adding, “You know that females bang too, right?”
“I know, but it’s just…”
“Come on, you’ll get some tail, I mean more than you’ve already got. And besides, blondes have more fun.” I teased.
“Is that an invitation to have some bedroom fun?”
“Oh, Cloud. When will you change?” I chided as I shook my head.
“So, that’s a maybe, then.”
I huffed, rolled my eyes and left Cloud to her own devices as I grabbed some breakfast.
Breakfast turned out to be a more annoying affair than it needed to be. Let me first start by saying that I wanted nothing more than a simple breakfast of toast with peanut butter and honey on it. Things quickly escalated from there. Due to my reduced stature, the counter was now to the point that I was no more than a foot taller than it and the bread was way in the back corner. It took several short jumps to grab the loaf and then came the twist tie. I understood that I’d have a loss of dexterity, but this was ridiculous as I fought with the piece of metal for a good five minutes before giving up and ripping the plastic to unveil two slices.
The toaster was the next hurdle as the stainless steel small kitchen appliance was shoved all the way to the back of another counter and like before a bunch of jumps got it in my hands. In one smooth, practiced motion the bread went in, the lever down and the dial adjusted for perfection. Perfection was not forthcoming as the toast popped up scorching hot and slightly burnt. Oh well.
Next came the peanut butter. The jar itself was on a low lying shelf and easy to obtain, but for the life of me, I couldn’t get the confounded lid off. I even asked Cloud for help, and when she too failed, I grabbed the stupid thing and opened it with my teeth to the gross taste of plastic. Whereas the peanut butter was too hard to open, the honey was too easy. Learning my lesson from the peanut butter, I squeezed the honey bottle with my mouth, but I applied much too much force and a torrent of sticky honey came oozing out of the bottle, all over the toast, plate and for six inches or so on the table. Defeated, I ate my mess of breakfast to the slight mirth of Cloud Kicker.
“Looks like you fought with breakfast and won, Blossom” Cloud said with laughter in her voice.
“Oh, and you could have made breakfast any better?” I replied
“You know it.”
To prove her point, she grabbed a celery stalk out of the crisper in the fridge and slowly munched on it.
“I hate you.” I replied with a little bitterness.
“Oh, you are so cute when you’re angry.”
I looked at the smile of hers and it was difficult to stay mad, “Why are you so gosh-darn likeable sometimes?”
“It is the old Cloud Kicker charm.”
I smiled, shook my head, and laughed. I took Cloud’s example and had some celery to compliment my unsatisfying bread and she joined me in sopping up some of the honey with the green veggie as well as her tongue. I first I was disgusted, but as I thought about it, it seemed like a waste to let the honey go to waste and joined Cloud in her delinquency.
An hour later found breakfast over as the remnants of my battle with food were cleaned up or put away. Cloud made a couple more attempts at organizing a banging session which I politely declined.
Cloud Kicker’s personality is certainly different than her human persona. This banging obsessed, charming, charismatic pony seems a far cry from the stoic, cold man I once knew her to be. Granted I have this feeling that that soldier personality is in Cloud somewhere, it isn’t apparent when you look at her now. Overall, despite the infuriating nature of her obsession, she is likeable and fun to be around and I have to say that I like this new Cloud Kicker more than the Jessie she evolved from.
As Cloud was beginning to regain her personality, so was I. I found myself more confident in myself than I was as a human. I had always had self esteem issues growing up and rarely made friends. I’m certainly not charismatic like Cloud Kicker, but certainly more than my former self. I found my temper to be significantly tempered as seen by my significant lack of cuss words and ability to tolerate Cloud’s advances. As a human, I doubt I would have been able to do either with grace.
Perhaps most amazing out of everything is this feeling of contentment around Cloud. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it might be the start of a stronger emotion like infatuation or love, but as of right now, it was the feeling of true friendship. I can honestly say I’ve never had that sort of relationship with anyone or anypony until now. Maybe it is the whole transformation affair. Maybe it is leftovers from a past life, I may never know, but being around Cloud Kicker, this feels just so… right.
“In doing what? Because if it is a banging session…”
“No, nothing like that. You see, I’m starting to regain memories of being Cloud Kicker and it is quite overwhelming. It would mean a lot to me if you helped me interpret and sort some of them out.”
“Are you sure about this? Some memories are meant to stay hidden and may have things attached to them that you may not want me to know about.”
“I’m certain I want you to know. You are the resident Equestrian expert due to your, what do you call it… experience with being a fan of My Little Pony…”
“A Brony?”
“Yes. Being a Brony as well as your own memories make you an excellent candidate. And as a friend I trust you.”
“Thank you, that means a lot to me. Alright. Let’s start with something simple. Could you tell me your cutie mark story?”
“My what?”
“Your cutie mark story.”
“What is a cutie mark?”
“The symbol on your flank.”
“This cloud and sun?”
“That is the one.”
“Why do you want to hear that one first?”
“Cutie mark stories are usually positive and happy memories. A cutie mark is earned when a pony discovers their special talent, usually as a foal. It represents not only their special talent but also hints at their destiny. Often times the marks have deeper meanings and are more than skin deep, so to speak, if you will pardon the pun.” “Ok, here goes…”
“Leave her alone!” Rainbow demanded.
“Oooh,” Barbell said in a condescending voice, “What are you going to do about it, Rainbow Crash?”
“Keep making fun of her and find out!” Rainbow challenged
“You think you’re such a big shot? Why don’t you prove it?”
“What’d you have in mind?”
“A race around Cloudsdale. Winner gets bragging rights and loser does the winner’s laundry for a week.”
“You do realize we don’t wear clothes.”
“Erm. Um… just show up, Rainbow Crash.”
“I’ll be there.”
With that Barbell and his posse left.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Rainbow?” I said.
“Of course! I’m the fastest thing alive. So what if I get into a tussle or crash now and again, I’m just that awesome.” She claimed with her usual bravado.
“Just as have modest as ever, eh Rainbow Dash?”
“I am the most modest of ponies because I’m just that amazing.”
I rolled my eyes, “Let’s just get this over with. You don’t have to pick a fight with every picked on filly at flight camp, you know.”
“But I thought you were all like ‘protecting ponies is what Kickers’ do’ and stuff. You made it sound all noble and awesome and stuff.”
“Yes, but you are not a Kicker. It isn’t your duty.”
“Ha ha! You Kickers sure have a lot of dooty!”
I rolled my eyes again, “Come on, let’s just get this over with. You just jump in without looking. Hay, you didn’t even ask the filly’s name.”
We both took to the air as she responded, “I don’t need to know who it was, just that they were in trouble and I’m there to help, because I’m a good friend like that.”
We arrived at the starting line as ponies were lining up to watch the race. As usual, no counselors or other adults could be seen, but that suited us fine. I’m not much of a rule breaker, unlike my chromatic friend, but I’m sure this race is against policy somehow and as much as I hate showing up ponies, those three had this coming for a long time. I don’t mean to brag or inflate her vanity, but I think Rainbow really is the fastest thing alive and I’m sure if she wanted to, she could be Wonderbolt material someday.
I scanned the crowd and found our timid friend that we had swooped in to save alone on a cloud that she managed to flutter over to with great difficulty. I tossed her a checkered flag a nearby pony brought to his slight scowl and threw it to the timid yellow pegasus, which she barely caught with her mouth, almost falling off the cloud. I was about to ask her name, but then a pony brought out an air siren, and honked it in a loud blast, and the threesome took off in a flash, knocking the yellow pegasus over off her precarious perch on her little cloud toward the ground below.
I frantically looked around for some adults, but as per usual, they were nowhere to be seen. After minutes of searching a powerful blast and ring of color flooded the sky, followed by a triumphant Rainbow Dash, now brandishing a cutie mark of a cloud and rainbow. Rainbow talked at a million miles an hour as she relished in her victory, “Ohmygoshohmygosh did you see me? That was so awesome and sweet and I did a Sonic Rainboom and I got my cutie mark, see? Isn’t it awesome?!? I totally did what nopony has ever done in recorded history. Dude this is so awesome!”
After several minutes of this, I cut her off, “Rainbow I need you to focus for a second.”
“How can I focus when I’m so high and radical and cool and awesome?”
“The filly you were defending…”
“Yeah, what about her. Did she see me?”
“No, because she was knocked off the cloud and fell towards the ground.”
Her demeanor instantly changed to concern, “What? We need to help her, now! She could be hurt. Let’s go!”
“Wait, shouldn’t we try to find an adult first?”
“They are never around and she could be hurt or worse and we need to go now! Stop being a stick in the mud no goody four shoes!”
“Look, let me grab a tuft of cloud to put her on if she can’t or won’t fly so we can take her back.”
“Fine. Grab it and go. Let’s move.”
I gave her a salute, “Yes, Sarge.”
I grabbed the cloud and flew with Rainbow toward the ground below the starting line, but the yellow pegasus was nowhere to be seen.
“Where could she be? She must be ok since she isn’t here?”
“Rainbow, why don’t you look over there and I’ll look over here. Whistle or yell or something if you find her.”
She returned with a salute and zoomed off.
I searched in the other direction and after a few minutes came across a clearing with a little yellow pegasus nestled amongst a small troop of bunnies. The bunnies scattered at my presence leading the pegasus filly to look up then retreat behind her flowing, pink mane.
“Um, what is your name?”
The filly pulled herself even tighter into a fetal position.
“There is no need to be scared, I’m here to help. You fell a long ways, are you ok?”
She pulled her head out enough that I could detect a subtle nod of ‘no.’
“Where are you hurt?”
She meekly offered her left wing and even with my limited knowledge, I could see it was a bit bruised.
“I brought this could just in case you were hurt. I’ll take you back to Flight Camp.”
Suddenly Rainbow entered the clearing, “I searched and couldn’t find her anywhere, oh there she is. You could have said something.”
The meek pegasus returned to her fetal position and hid back behind her mane and began to shake in terror.
“What is your problem? I showed those bullies a thing or two. You should be happy not scared.”
“Rainbow, could you give us a moment? She’s kind of shy and you’re a bit loud.”
“Yeah, sure whatever. I’ll go above and scout for trouble,” and with a woosh she took off.
“Come on, don’t be scared. We’re safe now. What’s your name?”
A squeak was all I heard.
“I didn’t get that, could you repeat it?”
An eeep and another squeak.
“Ok. I’m going to call you Eeepsqueak. Come on, I brought this cloud and I’ll take you back up. I’m pretty good flyer.”
The pegasus refused to move but stopped shaking. I thought back to when I had entered the clearing and the family of bunnies. A thought suddenly occurred to me. I deftly pulled a wisp of the cloud and molded it into the shape of a bunny. Eeepsqueak watched with reserved interest as I made a second one. Only then did I see her full face as she pulled out from behind her mane and settled on my cloud. A faint glow and vertigo overtook me as the yellow pegaus pointed to my formerly blank flank, which was now graced with a cloud and sun. Apparently I have a way with cloud manipulation, who knew?
I slowly took to the air with Eeepsqueak and gestured for Rainbow to come over as we ascended back toward flight camp with our new shy comrade.
“That was a pretty sweet story, Cloud,” I commented.
“But confusing. How did I get here? Why did I care? Why was I acting that way? Why do I feel melancholy about the whole thing. It seems quite happy and all that, but I cannot shake the feeling of regret.”
“Maybe there are other memories related to it you haven’t remembered yet that are related.”
“It is all so much Blossom. You have the benefit of your knowledge as a human and as a Brony and pony and this all works for you, but little old me, I’m just lost. Who am I? Am I a pony or a man? Is my life all a lie? My parents and career and life, just a fluke? Why did we live our lives as humans for twenty five years, only to forget them in an afternoon?”
I looked at Cloud and held her now deformed hand, soon to be hoof, “Listen, I don’t have all of the answers and I’m scared too. I don’t want to forget who I was or am, but I do not have a choice. I, no we, must endure. You are a soldier. You have faced adversity and strife. You got though the most debilitating training and even were in combat and saw the horrors of war first hand or rather hoof. This is yet another test of your mettle, but I have faith in you. Don’t let this break you. You are a good person or pony or whatever you are. I believe in you, you need to believe in yourself.”
“It is so easy for you to say, but I am not like you. I cannot just roll with it. I have lived a life of regimented order and structure ever since I was little. I don’t have that ability to be flexible and roll with the chaos. The pony transforming thing, these memories… I just can’t.”
“Answer me this, Cloud. What is the alternative? These things are going to happen to you, with or without your consent. It is not prudent to be prepared and take this in stride? Besides, we can get through this together for we share the magic of friendship.”
“I don’t know what’s worse, that that was incredibly cheesy or that I feel better for you saying it.”
“That is what friends are for.”
“Come here, you.”
We embraced a platonic hug as we felt mutual gratitude toward each other’s presence and I felt the sting of a tear from Cloud.
We sat in content silence for a minute before Cloud asked, “So what about your cutie mark?”
“What about it?”
“Could I hear your cutie mark story?”
“It really is nothing special.”
“Come on. I shared mine. You owe me.”
“Um, Ok. Here goes”
There is nothing like a puffy cloud.
Except when it rumbles and shakes.
I had been playing on the edge of Cloudsdale, taking advantage of a warm spring day. My fellow orphanmates had long since gone back to the orphanage, so I was alone, but that bothered me little as I’ve always been a loner and self-reliant. Being an orphan has taught me that much. So imagine my surprise as the cloud began to rattle and shake as I looked around for a culprit, but none came to my view. I frantically looked for a method to escape, but the cloud began to break away from the bank. I flared my wings in a feeble attempt to fly, but a faceplant into my personal tuft of cloud was all that resulted.
My mind began to race as I thought about what happened and all of the potential implications. I might be swept away forever, trapped to starve or fall to my doom.
“How could this possibly get worse?” I said out loud.
The universe took this as a challenge as it did begin to get worse. A bank of nasty looking storm clouds began to coalesce above me as I followed their trail toward the weather factory. Within seconds they started to hurl raindrops down on my little cloud and within minutes my fur and wings were soaked. I called to the clouds, hoping some weather pegasus would hear my plea, but nopony came.
The storm intensified as thunderheads began to crackle and spurt. I cowered into my cloud, hoping and praying to the grace of sweet, merciful Celestia that I would be spared a shock and fall.
Celestia had forsaken me. A bolt of electricity arced out of the black thunderhead and shocked me. The pain was indescribable as every inch of me was engulfed in what felt like fire and shock. I smelt the burn of scorched flesh and burnt feathers as I crumpled in pain and tried to bury myself into my cloud of refuge. Unfortunately for me, the cloud did not respond well to the lighting and broke apart.
To my horror I began to fall toward the earth at what seemed like blinding speed. I painfully, but futilely failed to slow my decent by flaring my wings. For a second it seemed to work, but then they collapsed to my flank, resulting in more pain and fear. The ground became larger and larger as I sped toward it. I braced for impact and with a sploosh I landed into a large mud puddle. I struggled for air as I fought against the viscous fluid when out of nowhere an orange hoof appeared and pulled at mine and hauled me to the shore.
I looked up at my savior to find none other an orange filly, no older than me.
“Thanks a billion,” I managed to blurt out between bouts of coughing up mud.
“Sure thing, it is what anypony would have done. What’s your name?”
“Blossomforth, yours?”
“Carrot Top.”
“Again, thanks, but I need to get going.”
“Wait, are you ok? You just fell from the sky.”
“I’m fine.” I claimed, but as I stood up, my body had different plans as my legs collapsed under me and my wings refused to respond.
Carrot Top looked on with concern, “You don’t look alright. Come on, let’s take you home.”
“I don’t think you can do that, you cannot fly.” I said, mystified.
Carrot laughed, “Not your home, silly. Mine.”
“Ok, point the way.” I stood up again and walked a few steps before stumbling and falling over again.
“Maybe you ought to let me help you walk.”
“I can do this.” I tried to walk a few more steps and collapsed.
“Maybe not,” I acquiesced, “But you are smaller than me and can hardly carry me.”
“You underestimate earth pony strength, but still you are right, I cannot carry you. But I can help you trot to my place. It isn’t far from here.”
With that, Carrot stabilized me as we slowly walked along to her family’s humble cottage.
Carrot knocked on the front door. An older mare who I could only assume was her mother answered, “Carrot Top? I have some choice words for you. irresponsible young filly, being out so late and in this weather. It is a wonder I haven’t died of a heart attack yet.”
“Mom, I’m sorry, but I have a good reason.”
“It better be. Any more such infractions and you won’t have dessert for a week!”
With that Ms. Carrot opened the door and gasped when she saw me.
“Oh my gosh, you poor dear. How long have you been out in this weather? And you are injured! Oh my, let me see to those wounds.” And with a flurry she disappeared from view to return with supplies as she saw to my injuries. With her working on them, I saw how bad they really were. I hurt all over, but my wings received the brunt of the fall and they hurt the worst. A few bandages here and there and a healthy but painful application of iodine made them look better. Carrot Top looked on sheepishly at me as I tried to put on a brave face.
After that, Ms. Carrot invited me to stay not only for dinner, but also until my injuries healed or when pickup could be arranged so I could return to Cloudsdale. In that time I became good friends with Carrot Top as we played together and poked around in her garden.
To be honest, Carrot was the first true friend I have ever made. Granted, my orphanmates were fun to be around sometimes, but more often than not I got the feeling that they merely put up with me and that I was replaceable. With her, things were different. The feeling felt more genuine, more true. We talked about things that other fillies talk about: colts, toys and random nothings, but it somehow felt more enjoyable and fun.
Even as a filly, she had a green hoof. Like her parents, she tended to the family’s root garden and had earned her cutie mark from doing so. Unsurprisingly, it is a carrot. I could see from our conversations and from working in her garden that it was and still is her pride and joy. We spent hours in the garden, weeding and watering and feeding her plants. I helped plant rows of vegetables, flowers, and herbs, but my favorites were the pretty purple impatients. With Carrot’s help we planted one in a pot and I quickly became attached to it. The days became a week and the week became two as I enjoyed my hosts’ hospitality and my new friend.
My plant and friendship began to grow as the little seed began to sprout after a few days, then leaf and bud. On the last day of the second week, the budding flower bloomed not one, but two blooms, one green and one purple. At that moment I felt my flank get hot as a similar mark appeared on my flank as Carrot Top looked at me with a smile from ear to ear. We gave each other a hug and giggled.
“You must be a gardener like me! Your cutie mark says so.”
“I’m not sure. I think it has to do with friendship.”
“Whatever it means, nopony can tease you for being a blank flank now.”
“Carrot Top, Blossomforth! Come here.” Ms. Carrot called.
We answered the summons as a unicorn stallion in a dark suit stood before us.
“Are you Blossomforth?”
“Yes.” I said in a small voice, intimidated by this stallion.
“I am from Her Majesty’s Royal government and I am here to take you back to the Cloudsdale Orphanage.”
“But I don’t want to go back!” I pleaded.
“That is none of my concern,” he said coldly.
With that, he enveloped me in his magic as I was forcibly carried away from my new friend.
“What a way to kill the mood, Blossom. I thought you said cutie mark stories were supposed to be uplifiting.
“Mine is.”
“Not really. It was kinda sad.”
“But it talks about the magic of friendship and stuff. Sorry life isn’t perfect.”
“I know, I know.”
Cloud began to yawn and I did likewise.
“It really is getting late, maybe we ought to head to bed. What do you think, Cloud?”
Instead of the response I was expecting, a light snore came from her as she lay against my stomach. Oh well, it could be worse. I grabbed a throw pillow and fell asleep as Cloud’s rhythmic breathing lulled me into sleep.
I swear if I ever get to meet Luna I am going to have some choice words for her. Better yet, I’m going to give her the gift of the most powerful punch I can deliver, square on her nose. If that results in my banishment or vaporization or torture in the place I’m banished to, it’ll be worth it if that means the end or even a break in these nightmares. Is it too much to ask to get some decent sleep at least one night this week?
Tonight saw me on a dock, embracing a pony. Tears streamed from her face as well as mine. I didn’t want to let go, but everything told me that I had to let them go. We reluctantly broke the hug as I looked into Carrot Top’s face and those beautiful eyes, the same caring, green eyes I recalled from my youth and, more recently, in Ponyville.
“You don’t have to do this! Why are you helping the zebras anyway? They seem to be doing fine on their own. Stay here, where it is safe.” I pleaded.
“I’m sorry, Blossom, but I have to go. They need me. They need somepony who has plant savvy to identify and catalogue indigenous plants and I have the skill. ”
“You have been talking with Twilight again, haven’t you” I deadpanned, then I redoubled my entreaty, “But we need you! What will Ponyville be like without your bright and cheery stall, or your legendary carrot soup or your pleasant smile? Doesn’t that mean anything?”
“I won’t lie. I’m going to miss Equestria and my friends, you included. But I must do this, not just because the Princess asked me to, but for myself. This is a moment to grow, to see something new, and to meet new places and faces. I promise I will return someday.”
“But it’s dangerous! You are going into uncharted and wild territory out in the jungle. There are creatures and carnivorous plants and ruins and…”
One look in her eyes told me she had made up her mind and nothing I could say or do would dissuade her now.
I resigned myself and added, “Just…take care of yourself, OK? The last thing I want is to hear you were eaten by a manticore or some rouge tribe of cannibals. Promise me that above all else! Please….” I pleaded.
“I promise.”
We embraced in one last hug and held each other.
“Ship to Zebracia leaving in five minutes, all passengers please begin final boarding,” a sailor shouted.
We broke off the hug as a nearby couple did the same as Carrot Top climbed aboard the ferry. I stood stoically as the deep, loud-throated bellow came from the ship’s horn as it left the platform, slowly but surely sailing out of Manehattan harbor toward the Zebra lands beyond. I stood there waving as Carrot stood on the rear mezzanine waving back.
Suddenly a black tentacle shot up from below the water, bringing the ominous threat of trouble. I jolted to attention and prepared to take off, when I found a similar black tentacle wrapped around my midsection, strangling my airflow. Something felt terribly off about the monster, but as it starved my brain of oxygen, I couldn’t fight the feeling that it wasn’t original to the memory I must have been viewing. I felt more and more faint as I blacked out or, more accurately, woke up.
I woke with a start, sweating and frightfully awake from that sea monster, kracken or giant squid or whatever it was that tried to kill me. My terror escalated as I found I was similarly bound by something wrapped tightly around my barrel, squeezing the life out of me. I wanted to scream, but found I couldn’t with my restricted airflow. I forced every ounce of strength I had into thrashing about, trying to get the monster to release me. Fortunately that worked as the noose loosened, letting in precious oxygen and a mumbled sentence sounding something like, “Go over there Mom, I wanna ride the human…” coming from the monster.
I thumped unceremoniously to the floor as Cloud shifted after the loss of her pillow, namely me. Only then did I realize that Cloud’s hooves must have been what had been holding me. In a bout of minor pain and embarrassment, I tried to get up but fell. I tried again and again as my body caught up with my mind. I suddenly really had to go pee, but my new body refused to cooperate. Frantically I flailed about trying to propel myself forward to the bathroom. Quadrapedal locomotion shouldn’t be this hard, just one hoof in front of the other! Fiddlesticks! (Oh how I wish I could swear right now). I ended up scooting along with only my back legs for propulsion like Sweetie Belle did when she was bored in ‘Sisterhooves Social.’ I’m sure Cloud would tease me for my lifetime and beyond if she saw me, but at this moment I didn’t care and it appeared to be working with only a minor rug burn as the consequence.
The bathroom door came ahead of me with a light thump of my head. The bane of my existence greeted me, a doorknob. I forlornly looked at my fully formed hooves and realized that this was going to be a problem. I tried several different positions of my hooves, trying my hardest to grasp that piece of bronze and I was ten seconds from bucking the door down, although I realized with my underwhelming experience standing on four hooves that would likely result in failure. All of a sudden a gross but practical idea came to my mind. Using my tongue and teeth I grasped the door handle and with a flop I entered the room, clamored on the open toilet and felt relief and extreme disgust at the doorknob I just tasted.
Washing my hooves turned out to be as equally as tricky. The facet turned on with another teeth grab and a grunt of disgust, but after that, everything went to Tartarus. The water fell well back from my hooves and in clamoring to get them wet, I knocked over our large bottle of hand soap on the counter and my wings. Wait a sec, wings? I looked back to see real wings behind me. Stupefied, I tested them as I flexed muscles I never knew I had as these amazing appendages moved up and down, spreading the light, translucent, purple soap all over them. Only then did I realize my mistake as I tied to wash off the soap covering my wings with my hooves, getting them and the floor covered in more soap.
A false misstep found the floor shoot up at me and caused me to lay splayed, spread eagle, as that term took on a whole new meaning. The water still gushed behind me as I sighed and got to my hooves and turned it off, slipping a few times before stumbling into the shower. I gave myself the best scrub down I could with the extra soap and holding the sponge in my mouth to a different disgust than the metal with the equally nasty taste of soap. I supposed this was cruel irony for the dirty handles I had handled before this with my mouth that I had wished were cleaner. Or crueler irony for the swear words I could no longer say that I was being punished for like a little filly. Yep, a nice f-bomb would do ever so nicely right now.
A towel found my fur dry, but my wings still were soaked. I racked my brain for inspiration on how to dry my new (squee) wings.
A scene began to play within my head, with a deep male narrator’s voice that sounded strangely like Flutterguy commenting on a random pegasus in the street of what looked like Ponyville, “Here we see the pegasus in its natural habitat.”
The pegasus mare waved back.
“Pegasi, like other ponies, are social animals and need community and camaraderie, namely, friendship, to survive and thrive.
The pegasus is joined by a unicorn as they begin to talk.
“Pegasi, like other ponies, have inherent magic that helps them fly, resistance to the effects of weather such as lightning, and the ability to manipulate and walk on clouds.”
Images of each of the things described passed before my eyes with Derpy’s thunder cloud bouncing as the weather resistance clip, making me snicker a bit.
“Pegasi wings need maintenance to stay in tip-top shape, with routine preening needed to remove dirt and grime and warn out flight feathers.”
A couple of images of a pegasus self-preening and a couple preening each other passed before my mind’s eye.
I’m not sure when I watched that documentary or why it existed at all. Some cable channel must be really desperate for viewership or something. Or perhaps this was some TV I might have watched back before this whole living as a human thing. Or maybe it is a fan work on the internet. The sheer amount and variety of brony media is daunting sometimes and I wouldn’t be surprised if such a thing exists.
I tried to recall everything I could about preening as I tried to dry off the feathers with my teeth. They tasted so heavily of soap that I pulled out the feather my mouth was wrapped around on reflex, to a shot of pain and a trickle of blood. Great, my first day with wings and I injure myself not an hour after waking and before I even start flying.
I resisted the gag reflex and got the rest of my feathers dry somewhere between the towel, my teeth and drip drying. A light sleepy knock at the door pulled me out of my prepping.
“Can I come in?”
“Not like this! I don’t have any clothes” I said to my horror.
“Ponies don’t usually wear clothes. Remember?”
“Right,” I agreed as I facehoofed myself, “Come on in and be careful, the floor is covered in soap.”
“Have you been having foreplay in there and not telling me? Is she cute?”
I blushed and stammered, “What? No! Why would you…. Right. Cloud, the world’s most promiscuous and tactless mare.”
“Guilty as charged. Charming, sexy and irresistible. But right now, just needing to use the bathroom.”
I strode out of the bathroom, now in much better control of my legs and (ohmygosh) wings as I cantered into my bedroom. With my mouth trick, I opened the door to my closet and looked into the floor to ceiling mirror on the back of it and what I saw astonished me.
As I had already surmised, I am a full pegasus mare, complete with hooves and wings and everything. Granted, I had been expecting this for days now, but seeing myself as a pastel cartoon pony in real life is still no less amazing. My former face now extended into a small muzzle with feminine features with even a few freckles gracing my cheeks. My mane and tail reached their full length and end in a neat, cropped cut like Twilight’s, but with my characteristic green and pink stripes. I wonder if my mane style is stuck like this or if I can change it; Given the strangeness of this whole transformation thing, I wouldn’t be shocked either way. White fur now extended everywhere, including my hooves, which were still surprisingly hard despite the appearance of the contrary.
Lastly, my eyes fell on my wings. Despite fighting against them for the better part of half an hour, seeing them in the mirror still amazed me. I tried several different wing movements using my new found wing muscles to angle them various directions. A cautiously gave them a powerful flap and felt my hooves leave the ground. In my excitement I forgot to maintain the flight by adding in more flaps and fell back to the carpet with a thump, landing splayed out. Note to self, when flying, keep at it until your hooves reach the ground.
I got back to my hooves with less difficulty than earlier; it would seem I’m getting used to my new shape. I ambled into the kitchen as I stared up at the counters that now seemed rather tall. I swallowed my pride and grabbed a small stepladder that Cloud had bought as part of her shopping spree and got breakfast assembled. Only then did I realize I could have done this yesterday and avoided the crazy mess I made making toast. There are not enough facehooves to emphasize my stupidity. As they say, hindsight is always perfectly clear.
With toast made with minimal mess, which I downed happily along with a couple of glasses of milk in my stomach; breakfast was had and the day started with no collateral damage.
Whump. “Ouch! That’s going to leave a mark.” Cloud lamented.
I sighed, “Cloud, do you need help?” I asked politely.
“No.” Whump “Er, maybe”
I walked up to see Cloud all tangled up in a heap. I couldn’t help but hold back a giggle. She looked up at me with a pitiful look on her face, which turned into one of annoyance after she saw me.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Some of us don’t have prowess with hooves yet, or the benefit of a slippery floor.”
I stopped laughing and sighed, “We all have to start somewhere. If it’s any consolation, I tripped several times on that floor.”
“About this floor, how did you manage to get soap everywhere?”
“Somewhere between the commercial size soap container you insisted on buying and getting it all over my wings.”
“Wait! Did you say wings? As in bird wings?”
I looked at her as if she was stupid, “Have you even looked in the mirror today?”
“I’m a bit too short to see it.”
I sighed, “Come here you” as I reached to grab her by her ear.
“Wait, Blossom! I need detangled first.”
I looked down at her as I noticed now that her hooves and one of her wings were all bundled up in a heap as I stifled another giggle.
Cloud gave me a stare of death, “Like you’ve never been this tied up.”
“Oh I have. I even have video evidence. It’s just nice to see you in a position where you are helpless and unable to bang.”
“Yes, and I’d like to get out of it real soon.”
“Hm. Maybe I should leave you like this. I’ll just close this door and no more teasing today from you. So far I’m not seeing a downside.” I turned to go.
“No wait! Blossom, please!”
“No more banging jokes today, and I’ll untie you.”
“Erm…”
I lifted a hoof toward the door.
“Fine, fine. You win. No banging requests today.”
“That’s a good pony.” I said as I patted her head and got to work untangling her limbs.
“Ouch! That’s smarts.”
“Sorry. Good heavens, how did you get so tied up?”
“It was the floor.”
“Look, I slipped on the floor and didn’t get so tangled up.”
“I was stretching.”
“Stretching?”
“Yes, and things turned sour with this soapy floor of yours. Oh, sweet circulation! Hoof, how I missed you so. Try not to fall asleep on me again.”
“I doubt it’ll listen to you, you know.”
After a few minutes, Cloud was detangled and back on her hooves. The floor did neither of us favors and we slip-walked out of the bathroom into my bedroom to let Cloud inspect herself. Cloud’s physique is similar to mine, but she is more toned and muscular, but not by much. It must be her military honed physique holding over from being a human or I suppose as a pony. Her coat is a delightful light lavender-grey with a two toned blonde mane and her powerful wings, much like mine but a bit bigger to match her slightly larger size.
“So this is it then, eh?”
“What is?”
“The culmination of several days of slow transformation and we are now colorful ponies in a very human world.”
“So it would seem.”
“You know, I didn’t know what to expect. I suppose in a way we still don’t, but… all things considered, I can see myself as a pony. This is doable.”
“I’m glad you like yourself. You are only stuck this way forever.” An idea quickly came to me as I said loudly, “Because losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend…”
I glanced around looking for Pinkie Pie, but unfortunately she failed to appear.
“What was that all about?” Cloud asked, mystified.
“Well, in the show, Pinkie Pie shows up saying ‘Forever!’ whenever someone says that line, so I was hoping she might appear and say such a thing.”
“Why would that matter? We know from your friends Derpy and Carrot Top that there are other ponies here on Earth. So why care about that one?”
“Because she is an element bearer, namely that of laughter.”
“Element bearer? Laughter?”
“There are six elements: laughter, kindness, honesty, loyalty…”
“Thrift, hard work, trustworthy, reverence…”
“What are you talking about?”
“The elements…”
“Not those elements,” I said giving her a look of annoyance after which she relented.
“Sorry, please continue.”
“As I was saying, six elements: laughter, kindness, honesty, loyalty, generosity, and magic.”
“What kind of element is magic?”
“It is the spark that makes the others appear.”
“So… leadership.”
“Essentially, yes.”
“Why didn’t they call it that in the first place?”
“Look, I didn’t make the lore, I just know it.” I stated flatly.
“Why are these elements or element bearers important?”
“Because they can use the Elements of Harmony.”
“So is it a thing or a concept of what? And is that the cheesiest name ever?”
“It is both. It is a weapon of immense power that can smite Equestria’s foes and it is the concept that powers it. Only these ponies, the element bearers, can wield this weapon.”
“When you phrase it like that, it sounds amazing. We are talking about the same thing and not Excalibur or something else, right?”
“Yes.”
“So… theoretically, we could find these ponies and maybe find a way to Equestria or wherever ponies live or, conversely get transformed back into humans somehow.”
“That is a distinct possibility.”
“I’m liking this idea. Try it again.”
I deadpanned, “It didn’t work last time, why would it work differently if I said it again another time? You know that insanity is defined as performing the same action but expecting a different outcome, and in case you were wondering, I’m not insane”
“Don’t know about that. We are talking cartoon ponies that four days ago were humans. I’m willing to accept madness as a good explanation as any.”
“Touché.”
“What if I say it with you?”
“Ok, and if that doesn’t work we could claim that there is need of a party because somepony is new in town.”
“How would that help?”
“If you recall anything about Pinkie, then that will make loads of sense.”
I heard the hum of my CRT computer monitor hum to life, then my computer turn on. I thought it odd that my computer could turn on all on its own, but before I could question it, a familiar sound of Pinkie’s voice blasted out of the speakers as Pinkie’s face dominated the screen.
“Iheardsomethignaboutapartyforanewponyintown!” the pink blur excitedly stated
Cloud and I looked at each other with a look of confusion and astonishment.
Cloud whispered to me, “You have a Pinkie Pie screen saver?”
I whispered back, “I don’t. I’ve never seen my computer behave like this before.”
Cloud and my eyes both went large as we realized Pinkie or some program impersonating Pinkie was on my computer.
I eventually gained my voice, “Um, we were actually looking for you Pinkie. Do you know where Twilight is?”
“Aw, no new ponies. I had the welcome wagon and party cannon ready and everything.”
Cloud raised an eyebrow, “Party cannon?”
“That’s what I said. Anyway, Twilight is here with me.”
“That’s great! Where are you guys?” I asked.
“Um, I donno. I was never good at geography as a human.”
I rubbed my temples, “Can you give I think us a hint or major landmarks or something? Anything?”
“Nope.”
“Can we talk to Twilight?”
“She’s busy right now. Gotta go, bye.”
With a blip Pinkie was gone and the screen turned black.
“That was less helpful than I was hoping.”
“Is she always like that?” Cloud asked.
“Most of the time. She is the poster child of ADHD.”
Cloud smiled, “I could agree with that.”
“However, I’d hate to see her medicated. Pinknamenia is not the same.”
“Pinkamenia?”
“Her alternate persona.”
“She has an alternate persona?”
“Yes, it manifests itself when she is depressed or according to bronies, when she is psychotic.”
“There is a psychotic form of a pony?”
“Yes. She actually is kind of popular.”
“That is wrong on so many levels.”
I did my best to emulate a shrug, but it didn’t quite translate in my pony body, “I don’t judge. People dream up what they will.”
We stood looking at each other, shuffling our hooves for a bit.
“So….”
“Yes?”
“What happens now?”
“Um, I’m not sure, but at any rate I want to try out these new wings.”
“Your what now?”
“These appendages attached to your and my back. I want to try flying.”
“Is that really wise? We just got these today. And someone might see us.”
“But if you think about it, we’ve had them as a pony before this and will continue to have them until we are either human again or forever. So doesn’t it make sense to have some practice with them first?”
Cloud’s stomach began to rumble. “Maybe we should grab some grub first.”
With that, we walked back into the kitchen as Cloud made herself some breakfast and I grabbed a glass of water.
“I’m going practice over here in the living room.”
“I better go grab the first aid kit then.”
“You vote of confidence is very reassuring.” I deadpanned.
The rest of the morning was spent practicing various positions of taking off and landing and soring around the apartment, with only minimal injuries, but plenty of close calls. I cannot tell you how many times I crashed into the couch and almost hit the obnoxiously large TV Cloud brought with her. Cloud eventually joined me as I gave her pointers on flight from what I had discovered through trial and error and by early afternoon we both agreed that the next logical step would be the fly for real after we both had almost crashed in the tight space of our apartment one too many times.
For the first time, I was glad that we lived on the top floor as we stood on the balcony, looking out over the city.
“Are you ready to do this?”
I gulped, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
I closed my eyes, opened my wings and lifted off toward the wild blue yonder.
I opened my eyes to find myself still standing on the balcony gazing out over the suburban landscape. Curse you imagination and your flights of fancy, if you’ll pardon the pun.
“That is a long way down.” Cloud stated flatly.
I gulped before shakily adding, “Yes, yes it is.”
“So, Miss ‘Let’s Go Jump Off a Ledge and Fly,’ let’s see you do it.” Cloud said, with almost a tease in her voice.
“Maybe we ought to no go flying.”
“Come on, you are going to get cold hooves now? After all it was you who pushed so hard to go use those wings of yours.”
“Yeah, but that was before looking down.”
“Don’t you know that you should never look down when climbing over a ledge or up a mountain. You’ll never fall until you do.”
“I think I need to wean you off those cartoons you’ve been watching. That isn’t how real life works.”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, we are cartoon characters. We can totally survive a fall and walk away from it.”
“You don’t know that. For all we know, our physiology is similar to a horse and such a fall could mean instant death or paralysis.”
“I am willing to try it. Stand back.”
“Wait! What if someone sees you?”
“So, someone will see me. No big deal.”
“It could be a huge deal. We could be in trouble with the law or some psycho will want to kill us or even some crazy obsessed fanatic will capture us and submit us to his or her whims.”
“You know, not everyone is crazy or messed up as you claim.”
“But what if you’re wrong and you do get hurt. I cannot exactly call the police or paramedics. Could you imagine what that’d call be like?
I mimed talking into a phone with my forehoof while saying, "Hello? My friend, who is a pegasus by the way, just hurt herself after jumping off the balcony of our apartment. No, this isn’t a prank call, I’m serious. No, I’m not on any drugs. No I haven’t shipped on my medication because I don’t take any. Look, I’m not crazy, ok. Please listen, she is bleeding out all over the place and… hello? Hello? Officer?"
“Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and trust in your friends to catch you. I remember you saying something to that effect earlier to me. Everything will work out.”
“I just…. can’t. I cannot just leave things to faith and not look before I leap.”
“That attitude reminds me of a certain human I used to know. It took a pony transformation, a leap of faith and the trust in a friend to bring him to a much happier state. I guess we are going to have to resort to extreme measures, Cloud Kicker style.”
With that, my muscular friend wrapped me in her forehooves and dragged me to the edge of the balcony, with myself first in utter shock. The gall of Cloud amazed me that she could do what I thought she was about to do, but then the realization hit me that she was indeed going to push me over the edge caused my once catatonic limbs to spring into action as I fought against Cloud with every ounce of strength I had, but that wasn’t enough as she catapulted me over the edge as I began to fall.
With a scream of unintelligible curses that were no doubt not as satisfying as they could have been if I could swear; I began to fall. I thought back to all of the good times I had experienced in my two lives: meeting my biological mother, making my good friends, the sweet love I shared with Cloud Kicker. I thought back to some of the bad times as well: Heartbreak in my initial rocky stages with Cloud, the loss of my orphanmarm, my listless loneliness in college. I wondered how could a pony I knew so well betray me in such a way, killing the only true friend she shared in this world. Was Cloud nothing more than Discord in disguise, here to torment me a second time? He had possessed her before and he could no doubt do it again. So this is it, how it all ends. A grease splatter on the sidewalk in the rough outline of a pony.
All of a sudden a singular thought came to me. ‘You have wings, idiot. Use them.’
I opened my wings in a breath of panic and desperation as they began to fill with air. I was suddenly overtaken with déjà vu as I remembered my fall from Cloudsdale as a child and how this exact same scenario had played out to failure. With sheer willpower and maybe my larger physique as an adult, I overcame the memory and opened my wings for my first real flight as my hooves skipped along the tops of blades of grass and I began to slowly but surely gain altitude.
First, I was overwhelmed with a sigh of relief as I gulped in air from a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. Extreme excitement came over me in a wash of passion, after I realized I was indeed alive but not only that, but flying. I did it! I was flying! Gravity, I defy you! Oh, Universe, I have to thank you. This is sort of worth putting up all of the stuff of the past few days. On second thought, maybe not, but this development is pretty feathering sweet. My happiness began to wane as I realized the reason I was almost dead was due to my idiotic, crazy, stupid excuse for a roommate.
My blood began to boil and I put on speed to find my so called friend to give her a piece of my mind, but as I returned to our apartment, I couldn’t find her anywhere. This only brought me to a higher state of agitation as I began angrily searching for her in the nearby airspace and on the roof to vent on how angry I was with her lack of judgment.
My anger began to fade into fear as I started more and more frantically looking for her. What if she tried to jump and fly, but failed? What sort of friend and companion would I be if I was to leave her to die? What if she got captured by somebody or even somepony? She neglected to hear my warnings of the twisted designs of people and what they might do with a pony like her. What if…? I began to hyperventilate as I became more and more desperate when all of a sudden I sensed a shadow near me.
“Augh!” A blur of lavender yelled at me as Cloud swooped in from above me from a strangely low hanging cloud bank.
“Ahh!” I shouted in stark terror as all the blood drained from my face and my wings collapsed to my side and whumped hard on the roof of our apartment to a thump and whinny.
Cloud began to laugh as my brain came back online.
“Scare you me, Cloud fiddlesticks! Crazy it is!” I said in a state of confounded confusion, anger and gratefulness. Cloud only began to laugh harder at my attempt to speak. Slowly but surely my brain kicked into gear as I overcame my shock and began to think cognitively in complete thoughts.
“Cloud, you scared me in more ways than one. You lack of judgment and your pranks are not becoming of you. I had feared you dead, compromised or paralyzed and with no way to allay my fears, my mind made the worst scenarios of the fate that befell you. Not to mention, you could have killed me with your antics,” I stated in the most clear way I could.
Cloud began to tone down her mirth, “Well, I know I’m in trouble when you start talking like a Canterlotian. Sorry about that Blossom. No harm done, so we are cool, right?”
“Cloud, I cannot just forgive such a transgression so easily. Pranks and jokes are alright to a degree, but rein it in. There could be dire consequences for failure.”
Her look became downright pitiful, “Blossom, you should know that I have your best interest at heart and that I do look out for you and me, even if I don’t show it in the most obvious fashion. You are the best friend I’ve ever had and the only friend I have now. Nothing should impede that and I’m willing to forgo the banging talk and the pranks, because I don’t want a rift to come between us.”
I sighed and looked back at her with a wan smile, “Although I appreciate the offer, I like you for who you are, all of you: your faults and your strengths. You will always be the banging obsessed pony who gets more tail than a ‘pin the tail on the pony’ game, who sometimes gets lost in herself, is passion driven, sometimes a sweet sentimentalist, but at other times a tough as nails, no nonsense pony who gets stuff done. Cloud, be who you are, just think a little bit more about what your actions will do.”
She flashed me a grin a mile wide and wrapped me in a hug, “Blossom, where would I be without you?”
I felt a drip of salty water land on my shoulder as I saw a single tear come from her eye. I could help but squeeze her tighter and release a couple of my own as we held each other for a bit.
We broke the hug and wiped away our tears as we regained our composure. Cloud began to start snickering, then giggling.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing,” she responded as she looked at me, after which her laughing intensified.
“It most certainly is something, and that something has to deal with me,” I said flatly.
“It’s just; your face was so priceless. I should have kept a photo.”
“It wasn’t funny.” I protested.
“Of course it wasn’t…” as she tried to hold in in by putting a hoof across her mouth, but even that failed to stop the stream, “It was… hilarious!”
“Cloud Kicker!”
“I was all like Argh! And you were all like Ahh! and…” as she collapsed in fits of gasping laughter.
“We you were all like, ‘I’m so tough, but you go first, just to be safe.' ” I chided in my best imitation of Cloud’s voice.
“I don’t sound like that, Ms ‘Oh! Let’s go jump off a cliff ‘cuz we have wings, ’ ” she said in a very poor imitation of my voice, more akin to that of a prepubescent teenage girl.
I couldn’t help but smile and stifle a giggle at her poor voice acting skills. So I countered with, “Oh, you are one to talk Ms ‘I’m trapped here in a cage of my own legs.’ ”
“Oh don’t sound so high and mighty Ms ‘I can’t make a breakfast of toast without assistance.’ “
“I don’t sound like that!”
“You do!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“When did we became grade school fillies?”
At that the dam broke as we both rolled around in laughter at each other antics, taking several more to regain our composures to something more akin to normalcy. Gosh, it felt so good to laugh again. This week has been crazy enough, but at least I know Cloud has my back and she knows that I have hers.
Deciding it best that we don’t push our luck, we headed back to our apartment, by air of course. The landing for both of us was by no means ideal with our wicker furniture that graces the patio taking a couple of beatings as we landed not quite so gracefully. With some mouth work, they were set back up and we trotted inside and had a couple of pops as we sat on the couch, tired from the ordeal.
Although it wasn’t unexpected, flying does take a toll on your energy level. There is a good reason birds consume most of their weight in food to maintain flight. Although I don’t think us pegasi are as extreme as that, it did explain our feeling of lethargy. Maybe some more research needs to be done on the subject. Speaking of research, Twilight Sparkle ought to know something about this; after all she is the most knowledgeable pony in Ponyville and Celestia’s prized pupil and she ought to know something about all of this. Pinkie’s, albeit brief and unhelpful, appearance proves Twilight’s existence, but upon inspection, she most likely is also a human who is now a pony just like us and thus not quite Twilight Sparkle. But maybe….
“What’cha thinking about over there?”
“Huh?”
“You’ve been staring off into space for the past few minutes. I know you well enough to know when something is on your mind.”
“Just, stuff.”
“With you, it is rarely mere ‘stuff.’ “
“I was just thinking out our next course of action.”
“Yeah, so what are you thinking?”
“Well, as pegasi we have weather sense and we could be meteorologists.”
“Yeah, that’ll go over well. The TV station will be laughed out existence if they got their weather from ponies.” She retorted sarcastically. “And besides, how would be convince any sane person to listen to us.”
“You sell yourself to short. You are one of the smoothest talkers and charismatic people I know.”
“Except that I’m not a person. On second thought, ponydom could be the fastrack to fame and success and a new life. We could be the darling of the world and rich and famous.”
“Or, this could be a one way trip to some messed up person’s prison or government experiment and exploitation.”
“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine.”
All of a sudden, we heard a knock at the door.
“Did you hear that?”
“A knock at the door?”
“Maybe, you heard it too?”
A second time the knocker knocked.
“What are we going to do now?” I whispered.
“Answer it, I guess.” Cloud whispered back.
“Are you crazy? We don’t know what’s out there.”
A voice called out from the door, "Open up, CIA aka Dad."
“See? It’s Dad. We can trust him, ” Cloud said positively.
“I’m not sure about that. He does work for the government, ” I said reservedly.
“Yes, but he is my father.”
“Well, I’m not sure how he’ll take the news that his son is now his daughter and a lavender pony to boot.”
“I already told him. It is rude to keep him waiting.”
“But…”
“No more buts, I’m going for it.”
At that, Cloud trotted over to the door and opened it to his father.
Cloud or I guess Jessie’s dad, as Cloud’s parentage is now more equine in nature, is a tall fellow, even by human standards and towered well over us. With my childlike height, I found him even more massive than expected and thus all the more intimidating. Like Cloud as a human, he shared the same sharp features and physique to scare those of weak constitutions and seemed to have and expression permanently in a slight disapproving scowl. He was dressed in a smart suit with red power tie that all the more accented his features. Clearly this was a man you wanted on your team if you wanted something pressure-forced from somebody.
“So, which one of you two are my son?” the man asked in a rich baritone.
“Um, hey Dad. Long time, no see, huh?” Cloud meekly answered.
“So, um, hello, um, son. Should I call you that?”
“If you’d like. I’m technically a female now.”
“I noticed that. A lack of proper equipment is pretty obvious in your current, shall we say, state.”
I piped up, “Cloud, where are your manners? Please come in sir. We don’t want to waste air conditioning on such a sweltering day.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
With that the man shut the door and walked over to the kitchen table were we both joined him in an awkward attempt at sitting in a human fashion. I’ll never know how Lyra not only manages to sit like this so easily, but actually prefers it.
Picking up on our slight discomfort the agent asked, “Horse bodies are not meant to sit like humans, it would seem. Please adopt a more comfortable pose if that’ll help.”
“I’m fine, Dad.” Cloud spoke up, “Right Blossom?”
I was just about to leave the table to lie on the ground when I caught Cloud’s thousand yard stare. “Um, no I’m just peachy. Need anything?”
“Information,” he said flatly.
“If you’d like. What do you want to know?” Cloud answered.
“What are you?”
“Ponies.”
“Ponies don’t talk, think or have natural pink and green hair. So I reiterate, what are you?”
“Ponies in the style of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”
“What is that?”
“A TV show about pastel ponies.”
“OK, now we are getting somewhere. How are you here and where did you come from?”
“We are not sure.”
“Are you aliens?”
“Not sure.”
“From another dimension?”
“Not sure.”
“What are you sure about?”
“That I like scrambled eggs and salsa in the morning.”
The man’s concentration broke for a second, then he returned to his questioning, “How about a more complete answer than that to the same question.”
“Up until our twenty-fifth birthdays we were regular humans and on the advent of the hour of our birth, we suffered a flashback then began a slow transformative process, finding us as full ponies as of this morning.”
“Well, that about wraps it up then. Send them in.”
The room suddenly exploded in sound and light as flash bangs flew into the windows and though the door as paramilitary men marched into the room with guns aimed at us. As quick as thought, Cloud lunged towards the attackers, only to find herself tased. As she convulsed in uncontrollable spasms, the look of pure hatred emoted from her eyes as she stared at her once ‘father.’ A large syringe with sickly bright green substance was injected into her thigh as she began to fall under the power of a sedative. I fought to join her as several guards grabbed me as I felt another syringe force its way into my leg as I slowly lost consciousness as I muttered Cloud Kicker’s name until I passed out from the sedative.
I feel like somepony took me on an artic expedition, threw me overboard and seconds before succumbing to extreme frostbite, they pulled me out of the water, then proceeded to shock every inch of me with a cattle prod. Every piece of me is simultaneously numb and burnt all at the same time in a perfect storm of misery. I wouldn’t wish this on my greatest enemy.
I slowly came to as I tried to move my limbs, to little avail. Every muscle movement feels like I’m fighting against a solid ton of lead, and only with great effort do I move my head up off the floor, which I have no doubt is grimier than need be, as is the nature of holding cells. I recoiled at the memory of the only time I had to see the inside of one of these infernal places, after getting arrested after disturbing the peace one New Year’s Eve, but I digress.
I opened my eyes to the flood of light and on instinct, I instantly closed them back up and shuttered.
‘Come on Blossom. You can do this. You’ve just been drugged and dragged and dumped here. The least you can do is inspect the situation. Cloud or Rainbow or Twilight wouldn’t give up. You can do this,’ my brain pleaded.
‘But it is hard and painful to do so,’ my body responded.
‘Everything worth doing requires effort. Suck it up and get up.’
‘But….’
‘Now!’
‘Ok…’ my body weekly responded.
With more effort, I opened my eyes and resisted the urge to close them as I began to inspect my holding cell. Much to my surprise, it is surprisingly clean and tidy with a futuristic utilitarian white motif and modern-esque furniture, if you can call a cushion, sink, toilet and a barely functional chair furniture. As the room came into more focus, I notice the door is made of reinforced steel with hinges hidden in the walls on a sliding mechanism.
I then glanced over myself. As I expected, I was worse for the wear, but surprisingly, my coat was fairly clean and even smelled lightly of shampoo, lavender to be specific. Several bruises were all over various places on me and my mane was wrapped with a hair bow to my annoyance. With an annoyed grunt I tried to remove it, but as soon as I tried to move my limbs, pain caused to me collapse in a heap as I shuddered to overcome the pain. My gosh, pain pills where are you when I need you?
Over the next few hours, I slowly worked my way past the pain as I had to use the bathroom, to much teeth gritting and preventing myself from screaming, I was able to relieve myself.
A subtle swipe of a plastic card on a card reader, followed by the whine of the door signaled the entrance of a visitor, but one look at the man before me made my blood boil. It is none other than the infamous Mr. Gonzales, Jessie’s dad. The man responsible for my current and Cloud’s current predicaments, assuming she survived all of this.
“You!” I angrily shouted.
“That is no way to address me,” as the man took a cattle prod from a nearby guard and gave a jab to my flank. My side erupted in new pain as I collapsed into a heap.
“Let’s begin again.”
“Hello, hellspawn.”
Another zap. By Celestia, I need to keep my mouth in check.
“I’ll give you another chance, elsewise no food for you.
I muttered, “Hello, sir.”
“Louder.”
“Hello sir!” I shouted.
“Better. Let’s start with basics. Who are you?”
“As a human I was Joseph Revert, as a pony I am Blossomforth.”
“Which name would you prefer for future investigations?”
“Blossomforth.”
“Ok, Blossomforth, what are you?”
“I am a pony, a pegasus to be specific.”
“Ponies on Earth are not sentient nor fly. Who or what made you?”
“I don’t understand. What are you trying to ask?”
Another zap. “Just answer the question. Who created you?”
“My mother and father?” I asked questioningly as I braced for another zap .
“And who might that be? What species are they?”
“They are ponies as well. They are both unicorns.”
“So you mean to tell me that you are begotten from other ponies?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. How are you here if that is so?”
“If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”
Another zap, followed by another. “I do not tolerate insubordination. I will ask more of you tomorrow.”
Without another word, the man walked out of the room as the door slid shut and locked behind him.
I groaned in pain as I watched the shadow exit the room as I slowly lost consciousness, like that of a movie reel burning out from a hot projector.
A scene began to play before my mind, uncomfortably familiar in its events.
“We’ve got to run Cloud, faster!”
“Everything is going to be OK.” She muttered to herself. She wanted it to be true. Hell, I want it to be true.
“Everything is not going to be OK, Cloud. The barer of the Element of Magic was vaporized before our very eyes. Vaporized! We need to get out of here.”
“What can we do against him?”
“I don’t know, but the truth of the matter is that we need to hide and organize a resistance effort. Hide in the Everfree Forest perhaps. Just get out of here.”
“Why? Why flee? I like it here?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in a panicky whisper.
“Come on, everything is for naught. Discord has won. Let’s stay here and bang.” She claimed with surprising calmness.
Slowly I turned and saw for another time the surreal and terrifying image of my lover wrapped in the smoky tobacco ring-like serpentine clutches of Discord. Despite being prepared to see it, the image still made me gasp in horror.
I tried to lunge for her, but my legs became predictably bound in red licorice. When I tried to take a bite, it hissed like a rattlesnake and I decided that diplomacy not action will prevail.
“What have you done to her? Leave her alone!” I asked with equal measures fear and revulsion, even though I knew full well the answers to both of these questions.
“Little, pathetic, defenseless Blossom. You name suits you so well. You are but a delicate flower, beautiful to look at but at the slightest frost or underhoof you tremble and fall. Without Cloud, what are you? A shadow. A shadow Kicker as it were. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Give yourself over to me and I can make all you pain and suffering go away. See Cloud? She is in perpetual excstasy. A permanent orgasm if you will. One small word is all it takes, Blossom. Just one word.”
“No! With every fiber of my being no! You cannot break our bond and you cannot break our spirit! We will not yield.” I proclaimed defiantly and triumphantly.
“Oh,” he said with mock disapproval, “And here I thought I was going to get a new agent of disharmony. Very well. Your choice is made.”
Bodies and minds changed forevermore
Five score divided by four.
And then a flash of light overtook us as I returned to consciousness as I screamed as the spell washed over me.
Suddenly I felt a shaking on my whole body. In my adrenaline fueled state I prepared to attack the perpetrator as I moved my muscles to break the hold this phantom person had on me. A grunt, cessation of shaking and a very sore hoof signaled that my kick struck home as I returned to reality to find two scientists in white labcoats before me. One was human male in his early twenties clutching his stomach as he lay in obvious pain against the wall. The other was a slightly taller female in her mid-twenties with long black hair tied in a ponytail and geeky box-shaped glasses.
Confused but still fueled by adrenaline I made a motion to get up, should I need to defend myself, but the stimulant was swiftly leaving my system as I struggled to stand.
“Who are you and what do you want?” I said in a voice as menacing as I could, which didn’t turn out very menacing, more like a whimper.
The female spoke up, “We are researchers working on you and your friend to gather data about you.”
“That is just peachy. Wait did you say friend as in Cloud Kicker? She’s here? Can I see her?”
Her countenance instantly changed to a much more reserved although it looked more forced than genuine, “What I meant to say was about your kind. Other reports of anthromorphic ponies have been reported and we are attempting to gain more of those specimens.”
“What about Cloud Kicker? The other pony you captured simultaneously with me.”
“I’m not at liberty to say.”
“You can’t say or you don’t know?”
She looked visibly shaken as beads of sweat began to form on her brow.
“Enough of this. No more information. We were worried about you because you were shaking, had elevated breathing and heartbeat and you were screaming toward the end of your last sleep cycle. I was concerned we were going to lose a specimen.”
“What he means is that he was worried about you. To be fair, we both were.”
“Erm,” he said while blushing, “But it doesn’t sound quite as professional as the way I put it.”
I was taken aback. Here were two people clearly working with Jessie’s dad, but were not inherently evil. The depressing side of my brain does acknowledge that this could all be an act to disarm me, but my heart says that they do genuinely care about me. Perhaps not all is evil that walks on two legs.
“Uh, thanks for your concern. I’m fine really.”
“Your hooves are shaking. Clearly things are not fine,” the female remarked. I looked down at my hooves to find them still shaking up a storm.
“It’s personal and complicated. And I’m not sure I should trust you guys. You do work with him,” I said with emphasis and venom on the last word.
“I heard about your torture. If it is any consolation, he is a bastard to humans as well. I hate working with that guy.”
“But he does pay the bills and I owe my career to him. He found me and offered me this job straight out of college. Said I was one of the brightest geneticists he’s ever seen and wanted me to work for him.” The man recalled fondly, “and as I recall you owe him your fortune as well.”
“Yes,” she begrudgingly admitted.
“Anyway, what would help you trust us?”
“Could I go outside?”
“I’m afraid that is impossible. You would fly away with those wings of yours.”
“You could tie them down. A little sunshine and some turf would be nice to stretch these legs of mine.”
“But you can hardly lift them.”
“I won’t be incapacitated forever. The drugs will wear off.”
“About that…”
“About what?”
“We’ve been drugging your food to keep you docile.”
“You WHAT?”
The female slapped her hand over his mouth, “Now look who is a blabber mouth!”
“I can’t believe this!” I fumed.
“Tell you what. I’ll see if I can get OK to reduce the dose and maybe slip a non-treated treat for you under the door when nobody is looking sometime,” the female stated
“Well, it is a start. Thank you for you kindness.”
“It’s what FLuttershy would do,” the male added.
“Wait, you know Fluttershy?”
“Not personally, but through proxy via My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”
“The show is fairly accurate, but after knowing her for a few years I can tell you that she not quite as portrayed on television.”
“You know her personally? You’ll have to tell me everything! That is so awesome! (squee)”
A slap across the face followed by the female sternly adding, “Stop fangasming, Carl. We are here to find answers, not answer fantasies. Keep your head cool and ask her if we release her.”
“If you release me?” I asked incredulously.
“The point of all of this data collection is that we need is to decide if ponykind is a treat to humanity and if so how to stop you.”
“If you really considered me a threat, you wouldn’t have told me that.” I deadpanned.
“To be honest, I don’t think you are a threat and we have all the data we need, but we still don’t have the go ahead to release you.”
I sighed. “Thanks for the solidarity of sentiment, how much ever its worth.”
“Alright, well thanks for the talk, but we must return to our duties. Goodbye, Blossom. “
“Goodbye,” I repeated as I yawned and laid my head upon my cushion and thought back to the researchers. It would seem my heart was right and those two are nothing to fear. Perhaps I may have a friend in this hostile, stark place. Perhaps best of all, there is hope that Cloud is alive and even perhaps here in this same facility. For the first time since my capture, a small smile crept across my face as I fell back into a dreamless sleep.
