Clopping on the door

by barbeque

First published

Rainbow Dash sexes a door. Because why not.

Rainbow Dash sexes a door. Because why not.

I dedicate this one to #fimfiction. You guys are awesome.

<Fistofbrick> Oh god I feel so dirty for helping suggest this story

Preread by heavy_metal_colt and Sage_Probo

Chapter 1

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Rainbow was lying in her cloudbed, glancing for the umpteenth time at her alarm clock. To her annoyance, it still read 4:58.

Yeah, she wasn’t going to get any more sleep this morning, even though her job on the weather team didn’t start until nine. Usually she would wake up as late as possible, quickly grab a toy from under her bed and satisfy her needs, then rush off to her job, taking a quick plunge in a pond on the way there.

Today, she wouldn’t have to rush, but didn’t feel like clopping either. The trick was to sleep in, get off as quick as possible, and still be on time for work. She had four hours left, what challenge was that?

Sighing, she threw off the cover and stretched out her limbs and wings. There really wasn’t any point in staying in bed any longer. Since there wasn’t anything else to do either, she went for a pre-dawn flight. The sun wouldn’t be coming up in a while, so she had the skies all to herself.

Everything was still dark and quiet, and while she usually was one for action and showing off, now she just glided most of the time, letting the cool night air breeze through her feathers. She flew over all of Ponyville, the outskirts of the Everfree, then detoured around town to eventually end up flying over Sweet Apple Acres.

Judging by the slowly but steadily growing light at the horizon, it wouldn’t be much longer until sunrise. Then, something in the distance moved and caught her attention. Gliding over to investigate, it turned out the barn door was moving back and forth slowly in the wind. As she got closer, she also noticed that with each movement of the heavy door, its hinges emitted a loud screeching sound.

Poor door, she thought, all alone. Just like me... Glancing back at the door from where she was hovering in the air, she added, maybe he just wants some company?

As if the door could read her thoughts, he swayed back and forth at that exact moment again, winking at her. An idea crept into her mind, and she glided lazily down to the barn.

All the lights in the farmhouse were still off, but knowing the Apple family, they always woke early, so she would have to be quiet. She wouldn’t want to attract unnecessary attention.

Landing silently in front of the door, she took a closer look at him, taking in his features. His cheeks were burning with red paint, and the morning wood was covered in drops of dew, like he was sweating.

“You really want this badly, don’t you,” she whispered in a seductive voice. Taking the door’s movement as a result of a gush of wind as a yes - not that it would have meant ‘no’ if the door had stayed still - she moved in for a quick peck, eliciting another screech from the hinges as the wind moved the door a bit.

“We’re gonna need to lube you up a bit first though. You’re too noisy,” Rainbow whispered firmly. “Mind if I come inside?”

Not waiting for an answer, Rainbow Dash moved inside the barn, brushing her tail along him, wettening it with his sweat. A moment later, he felt her rough tongue working on his top hinge. Rainbow had flown up there, ignoring her own needs for now, and was soon lost in the sensation of sucking on his big, shiny hinge. She kissed it, ran her tongue over it, sucked on it, and soon, the cold metal had warmed up and was drenched in her saliva.

“Mmmmmm,” she moaned through her mouth filled with the now pleasantly warm and thoroughly soaked hinge. A moment later, she removed her mouth from it. “You like that, don’t you?”

The door remained silent, unmoving, still basking in the sensations of her tongue.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Moving down, she did the same to the two hinges in the middle. Regular doors had only one there, but he had two. He needed to, since he a was a very strong, big, and especially thick door.

Rainbow alternated her efforts between the two hinges, one moment licking one, the next sucking on the other. Not long after, these too were drenched.

Luck would have had it that she only had the bottom hinge left, as her wings had started to grow stiff, and staying aloft was becoming an issue.

She started off pleasuring the hinge in the way she had done the other three, then grinned as she got an idea. “Hang on, I have an idea.” Since the hinge was low enough to the ground, she figured she could roll over on her back and still be able to reach it.

Immediately, the door shuddered in a sudden gush of wind, which served Rainbow to redouble her efforts. She felt her tail playing with her clit, but ignored the feelings from there for now, focusing her ministrations on the bottom hinge. Every time she ran her tongue along its length, she could feel the door growing warmer in response, in reality because the first rays of sunlight had penetrated the - save for a cloudhouse - cloudless sky, but it only added to her sex-addled mind right now.

At some point, the screeching sounds had almost ceased, though the door still shuddered from time to time, overwhelmed by the sensations her tongue delivered to his sensitive hinges.

At long last, Rainbow’s tongue finally withdrew, and she walked, wings painfully stiff - almost as hard as the door, she reckoned - over to the other side, where she had first entered, all the while brushing her tail along his side.

“Alright, doorplay’s over. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.”

The door didn’t answer, though the warmth radiating from him told that he didn’t really mind whichever she chose. Rainbow Dash being Rainbow Dash and not one to turn down a challenge, only grinned. “Looks like we’re doing this... the hard way.”

For a few moments, they just stared at each other, then Rainbow decided she had waited long enough. In one frantic motion, she grabbed the handles on either side of the door, and started thrusting wildly against the smooth surface - the Apple family always made sure to sand down anything that could have potential splinters. Her body was completely off the ground - luckily, being a pegasus, she didn’t weigh that much.

As Rainbow’s crotch slammed into and grinded along the door harder and faster, the door picked up a rhythm of its own as well. He was swayed slowly back and forth in the wind, sometimes almost threatening to close completely, but the motion always reverted when Rainbow’s flank touched the other door, adding to her sensations. His hinges, now thoroughly lubricated, only made a cute little squeak with each motion, not the loud screech it had been before, and that too only drove Rainbow’s lust higher and higher.

Rainbow herself was too far gone by now, and had resorted to simply banging the door as hard and fast as she could, her head hanging on one side of the door, eyes closed in fierce determination, tongue lolling out. She was close. She could feel it building up, like a bag of microwave popcorn on the verge of bursting open.

Slamming her body against the door one last time, she threw her head up in the air, wanting to scream, but knowing that would attract unwanted attention, managed to hold back and only let out a little moan as she came, coating the door with her juices.

As her orgasm came to an end, so did her seemingly endless energy reserves. Slowly, she let herself slide down the door, soaking up most of her own cum in her short belly fur, until she felt the ground again. Only then did she finally release her iron grip on the door handles, and slumped to the ground in an exhausted heap.

And then she froze, cold all of a sudden, because in the not-so-far distance, a door slammed close, signifying that someone of the Apple family was awake and had just walked out of the farmhouse. Rainbow didn’t fear much in life, but among the things she’d rather not try out was getting caught hanging around the farm this early in the morning, with her cum smeared all over the door.

Her gaze turned once more towards the door which had given her such pleasure before, and she whispered simply, “I have to go now.”

Noticing the leftover cum on the door and the ground, she used the first object available to mop it up with, which happened to be her tail. Preparing to take off and flee the premises, she found that her wings were still stiff as a board. Unable to fly, she peeked through a crack and calculated her chances of sneaking out unseen. Applejack was playing apport with Winona, so with luck, she should be able to make a dash for it.

Later that day, after the scent of sex had been blown away by the wind, Applejack found that someone had already oiled - or at least lubricated them with something - the hinges of the barn door. It had been bugging her for a few nights now, but she kept forgetting to oil them, due to having other chores which filled her day. She also found a few stray hairs - a few colored green, some red, even a yellow one - which just left her perplexed. What in tarnation has Rainbow Dash been doin’ in here?