> The last human warrior
>  by leaderofstars
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> To new beginings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


(i lay claim to characters and descriptions not in line with any copyrights currently held by Hasbro or Lauren Faust. like that jerk-ass god and the human i claim those two as mine! the ponies i don't claim unless other indicted by author notes.) 




The smell of battle, of blood, of death hung in the air like a thick fog as I stood before my foe. Gripping both of my machetes I stood before my foe, his armor shining in the pale twilight. I couldn't see his face but I was sure he was smiling at how badly I had fucked up. I had all the advantages: teamwork, strategy, and the determination that had carried my ancestors though countless wars. But as I stood before my foe, I felt like maybe, I was the wrong person for the job. Despite the enchanted healing factor my nanobots gave me, they could only do so much in the so little time it took to get me cut to shreds. 
Despite all my training with masters of mystical and forbidden arts of combat and all the gear I was carrying I was about to lose. I was going to lose and my home world would never get it's revenge of the asshole that destroyed it. My foe removed his helmet revealing his raccoon-like face before giving me a ultimatum, “Human. Surrender to me and I promise to end you quickly. After all you don't want to suffer too much for your failure do you? After all I am the god of death after all, a mortal like you can't possibly hope to kill me.”
My pride spoke for me: “I did not come all this way, fought so hard and so long just to give up to you. I don't care if I live or die, I ain't gunna break my oath by surrendern'.  And I’m sure as hell...” I raised one of my blades to the sky and looked up, a mistake. My enemy ran me through with his sword, the blade going straight through my heart and out my back, before pulling it out and leaving me to bleed out on the floor. I watched him walked out of the room as my vision faded; my nanobots couldn't heal the wound in time to make a difference. Everything blurred out, and I saw a figure of white appear before me. As I tried to focus on the figure it bent over and with a flash of light, everything went dark.

I awoke in a field of grass while the sun slowly peaked out from behind some mountains. I was unsure where I was, is this my final reward? My payment for a life of saving those who could not save themselves? Or my punishment for the unnecessary gruesome murder of any and all who dared to attempt to stop me during my quest for freedom? I get up not caring in the slightest; heaven, hell doesn't really matter to me. I'll just do what I do best, survive.
I pick up my backpack and check what's inside to see if anythings missing. Nothing was missing but my small stockpile of food and ammo won't last long so locating the vital resources needed to replenish what I use will be top priority. I pull out my RPD light machine gun from my backpack as well as a leather harness so I can hold extra clips as well as my combat knife. After adjusting the straps to my liking I set off on my journey to survive.
A few hours later I find myself inside a dense forest. I kept hearing creatures all around me but I paid them no heed, as I didn't think they would attack someone like me. That was a mistake, having overconfidence, but as long as you can survive, you can learn from your mistakes. As I felt teeth bite down on my shoulder, I saw what appeared to be wolves stepping out of the underbrush. I pulled the creature off my shoulder and threw it on the ground, following it up with a neck-snapping stomp. 
I leveled my RPD at the same time counting the current amount of wolves that were attacking me. This wasn't good, my RPD wasn't intended for short range combat like this. It's main purpose was suppression fire against a large number of human-sized targets at ranges more then 100 feet not pinpoint fire against 6 wolf-sized targets at 10. Thinking quickly I ran straight into one wolf, firing from the waist, scattering the pack and giving me enough space to slip by them. I ran away as fast as I could, with all 5 wolves chasing me. I noticed that the ground was becoming into a path of sorts that seemed to lead into a distant clearing. 
With the wolves behind me I poured on the steam and ran faster than I had earlier, wanting to put enough distance between me and the wolves  so I could use my RPD with greater efficiently. I saw the clearing get closer maybe no farther then 100 feet away. I was nearly there, nearly home free.
Just before I reached the clearing I stopped, turned around, leveled my gun and fired in a left to right motion, killing all 4 of the pursuing wolves. Quick, clean, and easy, the way I like it. 
As I turned around I felt my arm get heavy. I looked at what could be causing it and saw that my shoulder injury hadn't healed at all and I was losing a great deal of blood. My nanobots must have been shut off this whole time. Looking up I saw what appeared to be a house of sorts ahead of me. Placing pressure on my wound to shunt the bleeding a bit I walked towards the brightly colored house hoping that maybe it make contain some sheets to act as a improvised bandage. Stopping in front of the door I feel myself getting very light-headed. Before I could try to knock, the door opened and I fell forward the blood loss having taking it's toll on my body. As the floor came to give me a kiss I muttered, “medic.”

Fluttershy peeked out from behind her chair to look at the creature who had fallen on her floor a few seconds ago. The creature didn't seem to be moving, and as she stepped out from behind the chair she saw that it had a horrible bite mark that was bleeding badly. Grabbing her first-aid kit, she pulled off the clothes the creature was wearing over its wound and applied a healing salve. Almost immediately the wound stopped bleeding, but her job wasn't over yet as she cleaned the wound of debris that had become lodged inside the wound. Feeling satisfied with how clean it was, she took a needle and thread and stitched the wound together. After putting everything back inside her first-aid box she picked up the creature and laid him down on here couch, being ever-so careful not to make his injury any worse then it already was. 
After checking to see if the creature was still breathing, she noticed that the creature had tiny black hairs sticking up out of its body with most of them located on its mane which wasn't as long as a pony's and was really messy, curly with white hairs spread out all over. Its body and face seemed more like a monkey's then a pony's with some kind of nose sticking out of the middle of its face. It also seemed to be wearing glasses of some kind with arms that seemed to wrap around it's head.
She had never seen a creature such as this, but maybe Twilight has. Those books she always reads may have something about this creature on her couch. She told her pet rabbit, angel to keep a eye on this creature until she got back from Twilight's. The rabbit gave a look of disbelief but nodded his head in agreement. 
Fluttershy left the house rushing over to Twilight's house as fast as she could. If she had waited a few minutes longer she would have seen the words “SYSTEM UPDATE COMPLETE” appear the creature's glasses.

Twilight listened to Fluttershy with a face of disbelief, what she was telling her didn't make sense. A giant fur-less monkey that was wearing clothes had fallen into her house with a deep bite on its shoulder. On top of all that Fluttershy claims it had said something while it was falling to the floor.
Twilight decided to follow Fluttershy back to her house to see for herself what this fur-less monkey looked like with her own eyes. Bringing along a bestiary so she could compare this creature to all currently known animals, Twilight started following Fluttershy back to her house. 

Mean while back at Fluttershy's house the creature woke up with a huge yawn. Looking around in a daze, he rubbed his eyes before remembering about his bite.  He could feel that someone had stitched him up really good, perhaps whoever let him rest on this couch. He sat upright on the couch and began popping several of his joints before finishing up with a another loud yawn. As he looked around the room he saw a little rabbit going through his rations, that the room appeared to have been build inside of a tree, and...
“hey you little shit. Get out of my food supply,” he yelled at the rabbit who just gave him a rude gesture before returning to go through his food stock. 
The creature got up to push the rabbit away, who started making more rude gestures before walking away. The bipedal creature started inspecting his foodstuffs for any damage but there was none. His stomach rumbled as all the food save for a cheeseburger was put away inside his backpack. The creature held up the frozen cheeseburger that suddenly began to melt. Within a few minutes the burger was completely cooked and ready to eat. Licking his lips in anticipation, he took a big bite of the cheesy burger just the front door opened and two ponies entered the room.
The three of them stared at each other for a while until the creature swallowed what it was eating and greeted them with a “Hello.” Fluttershy said in return, “oh good you're awake. With all that blood on your shirt I thought you wouldn't make it.” 
Twilight could only stare at this creature while it talked to Fluttershy with a look of confusion. It looked nothing like how her friend had described it, but the more she stared at it the more characteristics of a fur-less monkey stood out to her. She broke out of her stupor and trotted up to this strange creature and asked bluntly, “Who are you? What are you? What are you eating?” 
The creature looked at her it's mouth full with another bite of whatever it was eating, swallowed then responded. “Yeah hello to you too. To answer your questions: one, you may call me “leaderofstars.” two, I’m what's called a homo sapiens, or human. And three, I’m eating a cheeseburger. You got anymore questions for me miss rude?” he glared at the purple pony. Fluttershy spoke up first asking, “Whats a cheeseburger?” Without even thinking that maybe he should not reveal what it was made of, leaderofstars said, “it's a meal comprised of ground-up cow meat, processed wheat and cow milk.”
Twilight and Fluttershy felt sick. This human was eating meat and admitted to doing so calmly that it was like nothing to him. The human saw the horrified looks on their faces and asked, “What's wrong with you two? Y’all look like y’all just seen a murder happen in front of ya.”
Fluttershy ran out of the house crying, before throwing up somewhere outside the house. “what's her malfunction?” the human said, finishing off his meal. 
“You're eating meat,” Twilight said, her face full of disgust.
“Failing to see the problem here.”
“How can you just not see the problem here! You're eating another animal” Twilight said, trying to keep from throwing up like Fluttershy did.
“I do what I can to survive.” the human got close to Twilight's face. “If you're worried that I may decide to.... consume you next,” he leaned in Twilight's left ear. “Relax I’m a picky eater. I only eat certain kinds of meat as well as some fruits and vegetables.”
Twilight didn't feel relieved as much as she could have at his admission of being omnivorous, because it was the human hadn't said that was making her worried. “What kind of meat do you eat,” Twilight's voice lowered a bit. “Do you... do you eat ponies?”
The human leaned back into the couch “No. Not fond of the meat of sentient creatures, you ponies included. I'll rather have cow meat. It's just plain dumb as hell and while its alive it produces milk, which is delicious by the way, and than when it dies it skin can be used for leather, it's organs can help crops grow, the bones can be used as weapons and the muscles can be turned into a number of meals for future use.” 
Twilight listened to this human talk about the different uses a cow can be used for with a look of relieve. It doesn't eat ponies, that was good. But it still ate meat and Fluttershy wouldn't enjoy this human living here with all her animals. “Listen... uh... leaderofstars was it?”
“Yes, that is my name.”
“Look, my friend Fluttershy isn't going to like having you here with her animals since you eat meat and all. So why don't you come stay with me in Ponyville?” 
“Sure just let me put on a shirt, and I'll come with you back to wherever-ville.” leaderofstars said grabbing his backpack and searching through it. Pulling out a black shirt and a heavy green jacket, he put the shirt first being extra careful not to let the stitches pop open. The jacket came next, it's extra weight coming from the thick padding of Kevlar replacing the cotton stuffing. Its weight sent a slight jolt of pain from his wound but it passed quickly. This Fluttershy must be a doctor-of-sorts in her spare time with how well the wound was holding together. He put on his backpack, carefully placing it on his shoulders and equipping up his RPD.
After hitting his head on the top of the door frame walking outside, he saw saw the purple pony talking to Fluttershy. Must be trying to make her feel better about his dietary choices, he thought to himself. As he got closer Fluttershy turned and faced him with a timid smile on here face. 
“I want to thank you for patching me up in my time of need,” leaderofstars said to her. “here take my combat knife. It's served me well for a long time in my line of work. Maybe you can find a more peaceful way of putting it to use.” he handed the knife and sheath to her.
“Oh. I can't take it. It's yours.”
“I can't just leave without giving you some form of payment. My honor wouldn't allow me to do so. Besides, you've earned it for saving me from the jaws of death.” he handed the sheathed knife to Fluttershy, who took it from him hesitantly.
As leaderofstars walked away with Twilight, Fluttershy said, “Don't strain yourself for a week or you'll need more stitches.” leaderofstars responded with a simple, “OK.”

As he walked with the purple pony to the town of Ponyville, leaderofstars began thinking of his future. He was the last remaining human throughout the multiverse. After he died the culture, the history, and the knowledge of an entire civilization would be lost. He looked down at the purple pony walking beside him. He felt calm, which is something he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe it was time to stop his cycle of bloodshed and revenge. He had been given a second chance, a new lease on life and he didn't want to spend it on the road of self destruction. He looked up at the town ahead growing slowly bigger as he got closer. “Ponyville, huh.” he said to himself. “Seems like a good place as any to put down roots.”
> pain is life
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. 
Theodore Roosevelt 

“uh-huh... yeah... I see... that’s good,” leaderofstars gave halfhearted responses to Twilight's exposition about the land of Equestria. Really he was paying attention but the fact that this world, while never having a single war with anyone or had any type of problem really, already had those willing to fight for its freedom with powers much powerful then what he had. Which meant that his job skills as a soldier, assassin and demolitions expert were pretty much rendered useless. Maybe he could crave out a niche role in this town Twilight was taking him to with his other, lesser used skills. He was a half-decent chemist and doctor so maybe..... no, wait.... he'll need to learn about the ponies' anatomy before offering his services or else someone could die. He could be a... no, wait.... someone could also die from that. He’ll just have to find his place to fit in with time.
“Are you even listening to me,” snapped Twilight, directing her anger at the human who was still mumbling generic agreements. “Hey, pay attention to me.” she said tapping the human on the leg with her hoof.
The human just looked at her and said, “Yeah I’m paying attention. You was talking about how you and 5 others like you possess powers given to you by the spirit of your home-world, that was encased with a crystal growth by some evil S.O.B., that when combined together summon the your world's greatest warrior Captain Dovahkin.”
“That's not even what I said. I was telling you about the history of Equestria.” snapped a angry Twilight. 
“I stopped listening and caring about what you was telling me after you said how peaceful this world is. You make it seem this world this best fucking thing to exist ever.  That’s a matter of opinion, my home world may have been filled with assholes, and it may be gone now but it was my home. Nothing will ever change that not even if I live here for the rest of my life, nothing would take the place of my old life. So can you tone down the bullshit spewing out of your mouth.”

Twilight was at a loss for words. This human, while certainly could use several classes at charm school, used to live on a another world. This meant that he is the only one with any knowledge of a completely different civilization not native to Equestria. “Can you tell me about your home-world.”
The human seemed lost in thought as if holding off a flood of bad memories. “I’m from a planet called Terra frima. Well used to be anyways since its gone now. not worth living there any more.”
“what do you mean its gone now?” Twilight asked, confused and unable to understand. “ I don't get it, what do you mean by not worth living there anymore?”
“It may be my home but without other humans to share it with,” he said his face slowly lighting up. “lets just say it means that I cannot go back for any reason.”

He thought back to the wasteland that was once his home. His home at least before that WALKING COON-SKIN CAP came by and killed every-other human there with that damn death laser beam strike. Everyone but him, because he was protected by the nanobots. What little comfort that was; death is supposed to be a sweet release from pain like that. The several days of nonstop pain while his nanobots repaired the damage done to his body was complete hell for him. His only thought and regret at that time was joining that damn experiment that gave him the nanobots to begin with. His family, his friends, his lifestyle all gone in mere moments leaving him the sole human heir of a entire world.
“Are you okay? Whats wrong?” Twilight asked noticing the tear running down this human's cheek.
leaderofstars wiped the tear away. I need to stop getting lost in my thoughts. “It's nothing. Just memories of a life before coming here.” 

The two of them resumed walking to ponyville, but neither one said anything. Twilight was trying to word a question about leaderofstars' home that wouldn't offend him while leaderofstars was replaying his fight with the wolves in his head. After three-quarters to ponyville, Twilight stopped. “Wait, you can't just walk into town like this. You'll cause a panic.”
“Why? Does one simply even walk into ponyville?” leaderofstars laughed to himself.
Standing in front of him, she said, “If you go around telling everypony you meet that you eat meat, everypony in town may try to run you out of town.”
leaderofstars blew a raspberry. “Like to see 'em try. I don't care if they ain't gonna accept me for how I choose to live my life. I'll live my life the way I choose to live it.”
Twilight looked at leaderofstars with a face of concern. “Promise me that you will not tell or show anypony that you eat meat.”
unknown to both of them, on this windless day, a cloud was quickly approaching where the two was standing.
Holding up his hands leaderofstars said quite loudly, “no. I will not hide the fact that I eat meat teh everyone. That would be like...”
“Twilight, get away from that freak!” the cloud said as it fired some kind of rainbow colored missile.
leaderofstars looked up and saw the strike coming for him in time to utter, “what the fuc...”
The rainbow missile made contact with his chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending him flying back quite a bit. Landing on his back, leaderofstars tried scramble to his feet, but something landed on his chest pinning him to the ground. Opening his eyes he saw a light blue pony with rainbow hair coming into focus.
“Twilight, run to town. I'll hold this freak at bay.” the light blue pony shouted at Twilight before turning its head to leaderofstars.

Rainbow dash was just relaxing on her cloud after having finished her task as ponyville's weather manager when she saw her friend Twilight in the distance. She was walking from fluttershy's house, but before she could fly over to greet her a flash of light from Twilight's left kept Rainbow Dash sitting on her cloud. “What was that?” she said. Using her cloud as cover she got close enough to see some-type of diamond dog standing in front of Twilight. The two of them seemed to be talking about something but she couldn't hear it. 
Moving her cloud cover closer she heard the diamond dog shout, “I eat meat.” thinking quickly, she concluded that this diamond dog was going to kill and eat her friend, so she flew straight out of her cloud, shouting, “Twilight, get away from that freak!” she hit the diamond dog in the chest sending it flying back. Landing on the dog's chest she yelled at Twilight to run back to town.
Turning her head to the now pinned diamond dog she saw the dog put it's paw behind it back and make a quick slash at her neck. But instead of claws she felt something soft slide across her neck and it was enough to make her take to the skies.

“Dammit, I forgot I left my knife with her.” leaderofstars said scrambling to his feet. It had been pure reaction, making a quick slash to the neck with his combat knife. His combat knife may be with Fluttershy, his light blue pony assailant was still alive, but at least he could move now. He reached for his machetes only to find them missing from where he put them the most. He'll worry about that later, when he wins this fight. Balling up his fists he stuck a fighting stance, watching his opponent’s movements and preparing himself mentally. Suddenly the pony flew at him, but leaderofstars was ready, grabbing his attacker in mid-flight and redirecting pony's flight path over his shoulder into the ground. Hopping up and placing a hand on the pony's chest, leaderofstars raised his fist and threw it at the pony's face. Just before his fist was about to make contact, something stopped him and floated him away from his light blue enemy.

Twilight sighed as she floated leaderofstars off of Rainbow Dash with her telekinesis magic. This was exactly what she was trying to keep from happening in the first place. Maybe now leaderofstars will show some restraint about admitting his love of meat while in public. Placing him on the ground behind her, Twilight walked up to her friend to see if she was alright. Rainbow only had a few bruises on her front hoof where leaderofstars had grabbed her, but other then that was still OK. Physically at least, Rainbow Dash was a little shaken with how close defeat came to her.
“Who or what is that thing, Twilight?” Rainbow asked. 
“He calls himself leaderofstars. Can you play nice with him? Hes the last of his kind.” Twilight pleaded.
Rainbow scoffs. “Why are you defending that meat eating freak. He'll kill and eat us as soon as we turn our flanks on him.”
“He eats meat sure but he claims he doesn't eat sentient life like us ponies. Hes also a omnivore so he can eat more then just meat.”
Rainbow walked past Twilight glaring at her. “I’ll take your word for it but you had better be right about this.” she walked towards leaderofstars, who was on one leg with one of his paws on one of his shoulders talking to himself.

leaderofstars clutched his shoulder. The fight with the light blue pony may have pulled out the stitches Fluttershy had used to patch up his bite with. And for some reason the nanobots were completely unresponsive the last time he had gotten injured. It stood to reason that they would never reactivate and he'll be at the mercy of diseases he had no natural defenses to. Maybe his half-baked medicinal knowledge would come in handy at least for his sake, at least he could remain alive long enough to put most of the stuff he learned about humanity’s past onto paper and share that with the inhabitants of this world. His happiness regrading the removal of his curse was short-lived, however as “INITIATING RECOVERY MODE” flashed across his glasses, shattering his happiness and making him curse the way the universe works. Looking up and seeing Twilight and the light blue pony walking toward him, he decided to milk his injury to get a few free hits on that winged little shit. Moving his shirt and jacket would expose his lie, but no one would dare try to take it off him.

“Rainbow Dash, apologize to him. You may have pulled the stitches that Fluttershy used to heal the wound she found him with.”
“Fine. I'll play nice and apologize to the freak” Rainbow Dash said getting as close as she felt safe to the creature. “look I’m sorry for attacking you just now.”

“What? You'll have to get closer, I can't seem to hear ya now.” a total lie but the closer this “Rainbow Dash” got to me, the easier it'll be to cold-cock her. “You'll need to come to where I can reach you.”

Rainbow turned glaring at Twilight mouthing, “He going to try and eat me I just know it.”
Twilight mouthed back, “Just do it. I promise he will do nothing of the sort.”
Rainbow got closer this time but was still outside leaderofstars' punching range. “come closer please. I have horrible hearing.” She got right next to his face and whispered, “I’m sorry for treating you like the freak you are.” 

If both Rainbow Dash's voice and her words were sincere, they did little to keep leaderofstars from punching her in the face, knocking her down to the floor. “apology not accepted, bitch.” he stood up, giving the downed pony a gesture she wouldn't understand and turning around to grab his dropped gun.
Twilight started shouting at the human, “why did you do that to her! she was trying to apologize for attacking you!”
“She could have made me pull my stitches out.” picking up his firearm, he turned around. “Also I enjoy petty revenge.”
“You are very rude.” Twilight said trying to talk some sense into the human. “You didn't have to buck rainbow in the face. She was sorry for attacking you and you just...” she said as she helped Rainbow Dash up with her magic.

Rainbow stumbled a bit before feeling strong enough to stand on her own four hoofs. Twilight and the human were still having a shouting match about the human's actions. Rainbow dash pause to think about what she had said to the human. Her voice wasn't sincere, it had been dripping with hate and malice toward this creature that ate meat. Somehow this creature had heard the hate in her voice when she had said her “apology.” she started walk towards Twilight when both Twilight and this “leaderofstars” shouted something about Fluttershy at each other. She wanted to know what going on, “What about Fluttershy?”
“She sewed up my wolf bite earlier.” leaderofstars shouted. “Whats it to you?”
“She's a close friend of mine and if you did anything to her you freak, I’ll make you regret it.”
“How, because in case you forgotten I just dropped your ass like a sack of bricks. Besides the most I did was faint in her home.”
Rainbow glared at the human before calming herself and trotting slowly over to the human. She let her head down as if bowing to the giant. “look I’m sorry for being so hostile towards you I was trying to protect my friend from you because I thought you were going to kill and eat her.”
“that’s gross. You're a sick little fiend. But I’ll forgive you this time because you were trying to save your friend. Its nice to see-ORACH...” rainbow headbutted leaderofstars in his groin causing him to grab them and fall over on the ground.
“Hahaha! That's for bucking me in the face.” she said flying around the downed human mocking him.
“Heh. clever girl. Using a real apology like that to lower my defenses... not bad.” getting up to his feet, no longer in pain, he extended his hand in a traditional human handshake. “Truce?”
Twilight prepared a spell, ready to stop leaderofstars if he tried something.

Rainbow saw his outstretched hand and at the same-time noticed Twilight readying a spell of some-kind. “What is this, some kind of trick again?” she demanded cautiously. The last time she got close she had gotten bucked in the face and she didn't want that to happen again.
“Nope. I'm offering a truce the way we humans did it at one point. We hold each others right paw and shake them up and down gently.”
Rainbow flew slowly over to leaderofstars and slowly extended her hoof until leaderofstars grabbed it giving it a simple, gentle up and down movement, letting go after two shakes.
Rainbow pulled her hoof back as soon as leaderofstars let it go. She look at his claws, they were so soft yet firm very much unlike spike's or a diamond dog's claws. The most that looked like any real claw were at the tip of them and even then they were flat, short and dull. “What are you? You look like a diamond dog but without their face and your claws aren't even sharp. I can't believe I thought that you even eat meat.”
“I do eat meat. I'm a apex predator on my home world.”
“Ok now your lying about that. There’s no way you can even be a predator, you don't have the muscle tone.”
“You make it seem like you weren't on the receiving end of a beat down. Being a apex predator isn't all about brawn and no brains, its about using your brain to maximize the usefulness of your brawn. Besides I use tools to help me gather food”
Twilight started to relax. It seemed like those two may get along after all. She couldn't wait to get back home and curl up with a good book, just to relax after having to deal with those two.

The trip to Twilight's library/home was uneventful with leaderofstars and Rainbow Dash trying to out do each other with feats of increasing impossibly that either they or their species did. leaderofstars claimed that his species had reached their moon several times with their human technology and left a plague there with the inscription “HERE MEN FROM THE PLANET TERRA FRIMA FIRST SET FOOT UPON THE MOON JULY 1969, A.D. WE CAME IN PEACE FOR ALL MANKIND” written on it. Not only did Rainbow Dash find that hard to believe that the humans once had a machine that could reach the moon, but leaderofstars also couldn't believe that in this world at least, breaking the sound barrier shatters visible light. 

The both of them had long since reached Twilight's library/home when leaderofstars finally won the argument by performing the one action Rainbow Dash couldn't do: dance like Michael Jackson. Granted all he knew about dancing like MJ came from his game but he didn't care since he doubted anyone here knew anything about Michael Jackson, making his performance look so natural.
Dancing circles around Rainbow Dash was especially tiring when dancing to and singing a song like “bad.” after a couple of minutes of showing off his human dexterity a crowd had formed around the dancing human enjoying the free entertainment this weird two-legged creature had brought.

leaderofstars paid no attention to anything around him so he didn't notice two ponies, one with light gray fur, blonde hair with wings and the other, a light green pony with a horn sticking out of her head, trying to dance along with him, but due the differences between human and pony anatomy they ended up falling down after a few seconds. After finishing the song he became aware of the fact that he was in a thick group of ponies. The group was far enough away to let him dance but all the attention was making him feel uncomfortable. When a pink pony jumped out at him, asking a lot of questions he freaked out, jumping straight into the air and landing within the branches of Twilight's tree/home. The pink pony's once fluffy hair deflated as leaderofstars stood within the leaves watching the crowd below trying to find where he was hiding. 
He never was fond of crowds despite his attempts to hide it by acting like a jackass. He hated having so much attention on himself and because he was the only human in this world he would get all kinds of it. He watched as three tiny ponies attempted to dance like he did but couldn't maintain their balance and fell down laughing.
His thoughts were broken by Twilight yelling at him, she seemed mad. “leaderofstars get down here and say hello to everypony.”
“Screw you! I ain't getting down. I'll live in this tree if I have too.” he turned around and was scared by that same pink pony from before popping out in front of him, causing him to lose his footing and tumbling down through the branches. He hit the ground hard and could only lift his head up for a few seconds, coughed up some blood then passed out.

“Quick, help me take him to the hospital.” Twilight said gathering several unicorn ponies together to help her lift leaderofstars. Together they lifted leaderofstars up ever so carefully as to avoid making any injury he may have even worse. They admitted him to the nearby hospital where the head unicorn doctor expressed his uncertainty on being able to do much to this new patient, since they knew nothing of his physiology and as such would be flying blind to deal with any injuries he may have. 
But a quick magical examination showed no injury to his body that one would expect from falling down a tree. There were stitches on his shoulder but no wound, and attempting to remove them proved futile as they could not become undone. This was a different species then what they were used to to after all and decided to let him rest. When he wakes up, he'll have to explain a few things before being discharged.

leaderofstars floated in a ocean of black with no real sense of direction and unable to see any thing except a giant floating dialog box labeled "INSTALLING UPDATES" and a progress bar.  This was new, normally when he sleeps, his dreams were just a bunch of 0's and 1's flashing by.  Enjoying the nice change in his psyche he decided to stare at the box until he woke up.

Twilight, having gotten home after that exhausting day of dealing with leaderofstars, decided to send princess Celestia a letter informing her of the human now living in ponyville. With spike busy making dinner, she decided to write the letter herself.


Dear Princess Celestia

I’m writing this letter to inform you of a unusual creature that has appeared near ponyville today. His name is leaderofstars and he claims is the last of his kind, hue-man, from another world. He is a oddity, changing his mind on a whim and refusing to keep his love of meat himself. This has caused a fight to break out between him and Rainbow Dash but it ended after Rainbow Dash had headbutted him. He appears to value the mix of strength and cleverness rainbow used to defeat him as a virtue rather then her loyalty to her friends. 

I believe you should visit him. He's currently resting in the hospital after falling down from my home. Maybe you could get him to keep his love of meat to himself before it gets him in any more trouble.

Your faithful student
Twilight Sparkle 



Rolling up the paper Twilight placed it on her desk and trotted towards the kitchen. She'll get spike to send the letter after dinner.


Meanwhile a lone figure was siting atop a horse composed of bones somewhere outside ponyville. His white robe was fluttering in the wind, and his scythe and scales gently reflecting the pale twilight sky. His scales floated up, and despite the heavy wind, refused to move up or down. “What still binds to the mortal coil human? You have proven yourself worthy of redemption. What prevents you from moving on to your final reward?” Neither he nor his horse moved until a white dove landed on the horse's head. The figure looked at the cooing bird before turning his horse around. “I see. He still has work to do before he can forgive himself. I will act as his guardian until then and help him find the peace he seeks.” The bird cooed then flew off disappearing as fast as it appeared. The figure rode his horse away from the town into the nearby forest.




author notes
I would like to thank the three people who tracked this story when I first uploaded it, even though it was probably out of sheer pity.

Maybe now would be a bad time to mention that I never saw the show itself, up until finding this site I’ve only read the fan-fiction cupcakes (don't see the problem with everyone freaking out about it I’ve seen far worse.) and I’m using the official and fan labor wiki to determine, personality, voice and actions of any preset character.

Why write a story like this? because I suck. Also because there ain't enough stories about true culture shock involving different foods, table manners, and customs. Its all “I’m in a land of talking ponies just like that TV show. I'm gonna swear off meat as not to offend anybody oops I mean anypony. Derp” I really don't see the point of stories like that. Sounds way too easy to write a story where the focus human character knows the ponies already or has ability to learn about them and has opinions on who's the best. The twist here is that friendship is magic was never made therefore the focus human is flying blind trying to coexist with the ponies. 

Just a head's up the human will never know a character’s name before it had been said to him. So when said in first person he'll used color of fur, hair and wings/horns to describe characters unless he knows their name beforehand.
> need more brain bleach
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'm happy to be alive, I'm happy to be who I am. 
Michael Jackson 


“Let me go, goddammit. I feel great. There's nothing wrong with me.” leaderofstars was getting annoyed with the doctors constant prodding and poking. They kept talking about writhing flash masses that had shown up while he was asleep. They had taken samples from just about every tissue and bodily secretions they could get their hands/hoofs on. He was starting to feel a lot less like a man and more like a lab rat being experimented on. Finally they stopped taking pieces from him and started to let visitors in to see him. 
However the only ones who they let in were Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, that pink one with the flat hair and two others he never saw before; one, a unicorn like twilight but snow white with a well maintained but curly purple hair. The other was plain orange pony with a (two?) blonde ponytail(s?) tapered off with small red ribbons. “Fluttershy! I'm glad to see someone who doesn't want to cut me into pieces.” he joked, his face full of relief at a semi-friendly face. 
After he had said that little joke, Fluttershy got mad demanding to know why anyone would try to cut him to pieces. It took explaining what a biopsy was to convince her not to go find and attack the medical crew.

After talking the yellow winged pony down from attack mode leaderofstars asked twilight, “Who are these guys? Friend of yours?”
“yes” she pointed to the three newcomers.. “this is rarity.”
“hello leaderofstars. Twilight had told us you came from a another world. I can't wait to compare the fashion of your home-world and see which parts I can include in my fall line.” 
“that’s applejack”
“howdy.” 
“and there’s pinkie pie”
pinkie pie said nothing.
His eyes quickly narrowed as he pointed at the pink pony, “you....You need to show me how you managed to appear behind me like that. It'll come in handy when hunting for more foodstuffs.”
the pink pony's eyes seemed to lighten up a bit, “You aren't mad about me causing you to fall down like that?”
“Not really, no. I can't handle attention very well so I was on edge when I noticed the crowd around me. After leaping into the tree I was starting to clam down but I didn't expect anyone behind me when I turned around. I get jumpy when scared so you can't place all the blame on yourself.” The pink pony's hair suddenly inflated to a type of poof as she started jumping around haphazardly around the room. “That being said, I need a job to pay the medical bill I’m bound to get slapped with. All I have on me is 30 bucks and I doubt anyone here would except it. so.... are there any openings anywhere?”
“this is a government sponsored hospital, all medical work is free here.”
“well that’s one problem solved. Still need that job though. Paying to have meat brought here under the table won't be cheap.” he looked at the everyone's reaction. Rainbow dash was making gagging noises, twilight and Fluttershy took it better then last time, Rarity was looking a bit horrified at the news, pinkie pie must not have heard seeing as she was still bouncing around, And Applejack...
“well that don't sound like a problem teh me. Sometimes ah feed wincona a nice steak to reward her for a job well done. Just as long as you don't try anythin' to meh or meh friends we'll be aight.”
“I don't see any problem with that since I prefer my meat to come from either cow, chicken or pig anyways. Also can ya turn around for a bit? I wish to put on my clothes so I can be more decent in front of women.”
rainbow dash, the ever helpful source of who-gives-a-shitatude, chuckled and said, “why? It's not like its anything we haven’t seen before. Besides it ain't even that big. What you got to be embarrassed about?”
leaderofstars blushed, his face turning a deep red. He turned his head away seemingly lost in his thoughts for a few seconds before coming up with a point of revenge. Turning his head back around, his face gave a sign of being mischievous. “well you've seen my junk and I already saw yours so I guess it's fair.”
It was rainbow dash's turn to become embarrassed. Shaking it away, she demanded to know how he saw anything. “well lets see there's about that time you was on top of me, and when you was floating in front of me, and when I got on top of you. All this within the span of a few minutes.” a deep red peeked out from underneath her blue fur, she glared at leaderofstars before turning around.
Turning to look at the others he saw that they were all staring at him, their cheeks as red as if someone rubbed ketchup on their cheeks.
“What? I never would have brought it up if she hasn't brought it up. Besides it's human law to wear clothing in public and I will still obey all human laws even if the laws of this land says I could walk around nude if I wanted to. Now please leave the room, I must put on my clothes.”
They wisely decided to leave the room. After the door was closed he hopped up off the bed and walked to the pile of his clothes. Picking up his shirt he noticed it felt different. It felt clean. That was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Never could work a washer without it breaking so he just wore his clothes as is. With his boxers and socks he was reminded of his old life, his somewhat carefree days as a young lad rolling around in the grass with his grandfather's dogs while being careful not to roll over a turd. His pants came on third reminding him of every-time he climbed a tree for fun, not to stay alive. 	After tying his shoes he put on his green jacket which, as he noticed, was nearly white due to its long exposure to the elements. It had been a real dark green once, a long time ago but despite his care the fabric was fading and full of holes revealing the Kevlar padding within. 
Why was he noticing this now? Was it because of the updates the nanobots had applied? He didn't like this, far too many questions were flying through his mind now. Before it had been simple: wake up, survive, go back the bed. Now it's as if all of his repressed emotions and memories were coming up into the light. Sitting down on the bed, he let it all come out. He cried until he ran out of tears to cry with, each tear making him feel a little better about his past.
Getting up and grabbing his backpack, he stuffed his RPD inside and pulled out a Beretta 92A1
pistol and a holster to carry it around. It only looked like a ordinary backpack, which was the point after all because it housed a small scale replicator. The replicator was programmed to take commands from his mind only while one of his hands was inside of the backpack, a fail-safe should something go wrong. Since it could only contain a small amount of matter, maybe 200 pounds, nitpicking what materials to keep and what to leave had always been a concern. He also pulled out a few pouches each holding a couple clips full of 9×19mm Parabellum then linked both them and the holstered pistol though his belt, on opposite sides of course.
Just as he reached the door he thought of something: crying felt good. He should do that again soon. Maybe after buying himself a house so he could cry by himself in peace. “better change my mask, pretentious jerk ass isn't gonna to be ok in the long run. Better go with indifference.” Walking out of the room, a light gray pony doctor started following him around.
Finally after a while of getting lost, leaderofstars turned around to face the doctor. “Uh... why are you following me around.”
“Ah yes that is the question now. I'm following because you are a oddity.”
“How so?” leaderofstars said continuing to walk around while the doctor followed.
“Well first your teeth. Sharp canines are the mark of a carnivore but flat molars are the sign of a herbivore. Also your molars show shows of having been used to eat meat, bone as well as plant matter. That is unusual to see in this day and age.”
“That don't surprise me at all since I am a omnivore after all.” 
The doctor did nothing to show if he was scared but kept on talking. “And secondly you take a tumble down a tall tree, cough up blood, pass out and yet you don't have a scratch on you. No broken ribs, no real damage to any part of your body and still, you stay asleep for 3 days straight. Doesn't that strike you as odd?”
“Nope. I've always been a heavy sleeper. If anything I feel way better now then before I fell down the tree.”
“And then there's the matter of what the on duty nurse saw last night before you woke up.”
“Yeah the flesh mounds the other docs kept bitchin' about while takin' samples.”
“Did they mention that it looked like snakes slithering under your flesh? That is something you may want to get checked out while your here.”
leaderofstars paused for a moment, “Nah, you don't know anything about human anatomy so ya may do more harm then good.” 
“Point taken. I'll need you to fill out some forms before you go. For record keeping of course. I trust that where you came from, this is a common occurrence as well?”
“Yeah fill out some forms, then get discharged. Umm.... whats your name again?”
“I’m known as Doctor Cane here. I get called to handle patients that the other doctors aren't sure how to handle. If you have have a medical problem I’ll be able to solve it”
“I’ll keep that in mind Doctor Cane. You seem to know your way around here so I’ll follow you since I have no idea where I am.”
“Very well. Follow me.” the doctor trotted off to the reception with leaderofstars following close behind.

After filling out the forms with the semi-relevant information and handing them to the nurse in charge, he turned around and walked right into a dark brown unicorn pony, knocking the pony's fedora off his head.  “Oh sorry about that.” leaderofstars said picking up the hat and handing it to the pony who used his magic to place it back on his head. “Whats your name dude?”
“The name's Press Release. I’m a reporter with Equestria daily and I’m here to get exclusive interview with you, leaderofstars.”
“Why?” leaderofstars said walking out of the hospital.
“Kid, you're the only one of your kind. That means who ever gets you to talk about who you are and where you came from will have their name on the front page.”
“Wait how did you know that much about me, it's not like I advertised who I was or where I came from.”
“I was there when you was falling down the tree. I smelled a story so I’ve been waiting for you to get better so I could interview you. Besides its not everyday one gets to talk to a extinct species”
“Extinct!? Well you're right and all, I am the last of my kind and everything, so I guess that would make me the leader of America. That title don't hold water without a stretch of land to control so it's useless. Even if I do get some land to rule over, whodahells gunna fucking recognize a one person country?”
“.... that’s a grim way of looking at it. I'm sure princess Celestia would give you some land to live on for the rest of your life if you ask. By the way can you tell me what this 'America' you were talking about?” Press Release pulled out a magical quill and paper. 
Leaderofstars stopped and turned to press release, “My home land. United States of America is the full name of my home country. It was one of many other countries that ruled over my home planet, Terra Frima. Each one trying to make life better for their own citizens at the expense of its neighbors'. Some times they would work together for the common good like bringing a crazed madman to justice, but in the end all we humans do is make enemies and fight among each other because we're easily bored with nothing better to do then eat, fight and fuck.”
“That won't be good to put send to my editor. Can you tell me something about what you hue-mans can do in general? What are your magics like?”
“Uh what we can do in general? I guess we could kill each other really good. No wait! We once sent some people to the moon and back!” Leaderofstars pointed upwards into the sky. “It was considered a great leap for mankind's technological advancements. If we could reach the moon, we could go anywhere! Space was the final frontier. A new journey waited us outside the borders of our home. Other planets, other civilizations, hell other universes would be at our finger tips!” his head fell down. “we could reach anything we set our collective minds to, except a understanding.” 
He looked at Press Release who was scribbling everything he had heard down. “If we could use magic I think it would have may things much worse then they were. So no we couldn't use magic. We just constructed machines to do the stuff we couldn't do normally. Like the Saturn 5 rockets that was used to actually reach the moon or the series of space shuttles we sent up in high orbit to construct a huge laboratory/living space to test the effects of deep space on human bodies.”
“Reaching the moon several times and building living areas in space without magic. That’s quite a achievement, seeing as we couldn't really pull that off. Could you build this machine that allowed you hue-mans to reach the moon?”
“Not without several years of research into the creation of the proper fuels, the refinement of  certain metal alloys and even more years into the development of the tools needed to ensure the damn thing won't explode as its flying. And then there's the training that will be required, the money needed to purchase the materials, and the right technology to make sure the damn thing would even fly straight. It took multiple tries to get to the moon and back the first time and that was simply a guessing game with unknown, unstable technology.”
“But you could reach the moon given enough time, resources and aid, right?”
“Yes.”
“Oh this is good. 'Hue-man claims to be able to go to the moon.' I could turn this into a series on what hue-mans have done. We need to get back together soon and talk again. See you later friend!” Press Release ran off into town.
Leaderofstars followed at walking pace, feeling it was better to walk around the town slowly as to take in all the sights. The entire town seemed to be made out of schizo tech: houses made with straw roofs and dry wall, chariots and electric street lamps dominating the cobblestone roadways. After walking a ways around the town He stopped in front of the weirdest thing he had seen all day, a house made of dry wall, gingerbread and candy canes. How it stay together without collapsing was baffling to say the least.
As he turned around to get away from the mind fuck, he found himself surrounded by three small ponies staring at him with eyes as wide as dinner plates. “Uh... can I help ya?”

“Where is he!” twilight said from under a tree from the middle of a small park. Twilight had been searching for leaderofstars so she could introduce him to princess Celestia and Luna properly. But the doctor that was supposed to keep a eye on him said he had left the hospital already and didn't bother trying to stop him. This meant that he could be anywhere in town. She had everyone split up to try and find him so he wouldn't cause too much trouble. She was afraid that the hue-man would cause a panic with his obsessive desire to tell everypony about his love for meat. It should be to hard to find anypony who sticks out that much in a crowd, right? Her attempts to locate him magically had done nothing, it was like he didn't exist. Twilight looked up and saw rainbow dash flying overhead trying to find leaderofstars before he could do anything stupid. Everyone of twilight's friends was trying to find leaderofstars so the princesses could meet and greet him properly, but finding him was proving to be a pain.

“Alright, let me get this straight: cutie marks are special patches of fur that just appear out of the blue.” leaderofstars said talking to the three young ponies who called themselves the “cutie mark crusaders.” the four of them were walking around ponyville aimlessly.
“No, they appear on our flanks when we learn our special talents.” said the winged orange crusader with purple hair.
“I’m as lost as bugs bunny when he makes that right turn at Albuquerque. How do they just appear? That don't make sense at all. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt since this whole town is just built from schizo tech.”
The three ponies just stared at leaderofstars before the red headed crusader said, “you're weird mister.”
“Not from where I’m standing.” he said walking down a empty street with the little crusaders following close behind. “You can't let a patch of fur determine what your good at. I mean look at me, you probably couldn't tell from looking at me outright but I’m skilled at several different kinds of human fighting techniques, multiple medical branches, and most fields of human technology, how? Because I focused all my energy into learning about each and every single one to make me a better person overall. If you attempt to be the best at everything you do then nothing will be beyond your reach.”
Before the crusaders could said anything else a blue gray pony ran past them shouting, “Timber wolves, run!”
“Timber wolves?” cried the white unicorn crusader. “They never come near ponyville.” the three little crusaders held each other while leaderofstars smiled, drew his pistol and took the safety off.

This was bad, what could make timber wolves leave Everfree forest and come to ponyville? Twilight thought. She was going to have to put off finding leaderofstars until the wolves are fended off. She used her magic to tell her friends and every able pony to come to the west part of ponyville to fight off the wolves. Before she could do anything else she heard a series of very loud bangs coming from where the timber wolves were attacking from. Bracing her nerves she ran towards the bangs.

Rainbow Dash was in the air when she heard twilight's message about the wolves. Looking in the general direction she saw a large number of timber wolves running from Everfree forest. As she flew over she noticed a flash of metal from below. It was the hue-man and he was on one leg as if he was protecting something. He was holding some kind of metal tube in one hoof-paw and pointing it at the wolves, then a series of loud bangs and flashes of sorts came from the metal tube. She then heard the cutie mark crusaders starting to scream. As she turned around to find them she noticed the human had started to run from the wave of wolves. He looked like he was holding something. As Rainbow flew overhead to the side she saw that he was trying to save the cutie mark crusaders!

This wasn't good. My bullets.... they do nothing against the wolves. What the hell are they made of..... wood? I'm gonna need a more powerful caliber to crack them bitches open. Leaderofstars thought as he ran away from the wolf horde, carrying the three little ponies in both arms. He needed to get the little ones somewhere safe before attempting to fend off the horde. The RPD would have been perfect here. So many wolves and not enough 9 millis here to stop them. 
A chance glance to his side showed rainbow dash flying alongside him. “Here, take the little ones somewhere safer.” he shouted handing the young ponies to rainbow. She took them with her away from the fight as leaderofstars shouted out in pain. A wolf had managed to bite him on the lower leg and was trying to hold him in place for the rest of the wolves to attack. Shoving the barrel into the wolf's eye, leaderofstars turned the wolf's brain into mush with a single shot.
Leaderofstars turned around and kept firing at the approaching wolfs, but the 9 milli ball points did nothing to stop their advancement. As they got closer he saw that they weren't wearing tree bark on themselves as he thought previously, they were made of actual fucking wood. The term timber wolf doesn't refer to where they live, it refers to what they are: wolves made out of timber. “Ah, I call bullshit on this.” he said back pedaling from the horde. It didn't help that his nanobots had shut down when he got bitten, something that wasn't supposed to happen at all. It was a good thing that he hadn't ripped the wolf off him like last time or the injury could have been worse then a simple bite. 
He tripped and fell on his ass while reloading his next magazine causing him to drop both the magazine and his sidearm. The magazine went flying somewhere while the pistol clattered right behind him. Before he could try to recover a wolf took advance of his weaken state to jump on top of him and tried to rip out his throat, but was stopped by a quick neck snap. Tossing the dead wolf off of him, leaderofstars grabbed his pistol and loaded the last magazine he had on his belt. Getting up would make him open to attack, so he tried to crawl backwards so he could continue firing at the horde. As luck would have it, a huge mob of ponies come to his aid, using their various skills to fend off the wolves. He got up, gritting his teeth at the sudden pain of putting pressure on his leg bite, and advanced with the mob firing the last of his pistol ammo at the retreating wolves.

Sometime after the fight, leaderofstars sat on a nearby bench, eating a steak while pulling out wooden splinters out of his leg, just as everybody else was clearing away all the wolves killed in the fight. Well almost everybody, the little crusaders had been sent inside, Fluttershy was sitting next to him cringing every-time he quickly jerked out a splinter, Press Release was busy interviewing everybody who fought and a whole team of doctors were tending to the injured. After pulling out the last splinter his nanobots came back online and healed his now splinter-free wound. 
With his leg feeling better he got up to help move some wolf corpses, but was stopped by a female talking to him from behind. “That was impressive, risking your life to protect three fillies you never knew, leaderofstars.”
Turning around, he saw that there was a large pure white pony, perhaps a full grown horse?, with rainbow hair that seemed to defy gravity and the lack of wind by flowing in one direction, and possessed both wings and a horn. She was being flanked by two smaller ponies wearing golden armor resembling roman centurions and deadpan stares.
“Yeah, what of it? They weren't going to last long if I didn't try to help.” he said turning back around to help toss some carcasses.
“You actions here has made me reconsider sending you back where you came from,” the white pony/horse said following him at his pace.
“Whats that supposed to mean?”
“In the hospital and here now I am sensing much evil in you. Enough evil to warrant sending you far away from this world, but your actions in defending the three fillies has shown me that there is something benevolent guiding your actions. It is unusual, I have seen you kill the timber wolves without mercy, yet you choose to save the fillies before attempting to kill again. You are unique leaderofstars, a merciless killer that puts the life of others before his desire to kill.”
Grabbing a couple of wolf carcasses his reply was as deadpan as the guards faces, “First off I’m a hunter not a killer. Secondly: Protect the innocent, serve the public trust, uphold the law. These are what I hold myself to.”
“Is that what guides the killer in you, words? Whats stopping you from breaking these words without caring?”
“My honor, my upbringing, my oath.” he tossed his two carcasses in with the others. “All three have served me well during my long and lonely life back home. I doubt you know anything of what I’ve been through so take your bullshit and shove it.” he walked back to grab a couple more.
“Your immortality is only a curse because you allow it to be.”
leaderofstars stopped walking. “How... did you...”
“While you are unlike the ponies in this world, I can tell you've lived far beyond your normal human lifespan in a state of constant warfare and turmoil. Maybe your are here to find what is needed to finally move on or find what your heart has been craving for so long. I cannot tell what will allow you to finally be at peace, but I know you will find it here in this world.”
leaderofstars was at a loss for words. He had barely met this pony/horse, yet she knew just about everything about him without him even saying anything about it. “wh.. wh... who are you? He demanded.

“I’m princess Celestia, I rule the kingdom of Equestria along side my sister, princess luna.”
He thought back to what Press Release had told him, “I'm sure princess Celestia would give you some land to live on.” “So you and your sister rule over this land, huh?” He said trying to change the subject. “Well it just so happens that I’m the leader of a landless country. If I’m to truly find what will put my soul at peace then I’ll be needing some land to live on.”
“I could just give you free land, but I’ll need something in exchange.” She got uncomfortably close to his face. “You can either give me some of your human technology or you can give me your body for one night.”
“What does that mean 'give you my body'?”
“I want you to pleasure me sexually.”
leaderofstars' eyebrow twitched. Has the ruler of this kingdom really just offered some land in exchange for a one night stand? “As tempting as it sounds I’ll pass on that. I'm more then happy to part with some of my knowledge in exchange for some land.” 
She pulled away from his face, looking a bit unhappy. “Ok it's agreed then you'll give three pieces of human technology and I’ll let you have enough land to live on wherever you wish.”

After sharing with princess Celestia my knowledge about the production and various uses of polycarbonate (eyeglasses), black and smokeless powder (fireworks), I requested to occupy land within the forest that the timber wolves has attacked ponyville from, much to her confusion. I told her not to worry about anything, I just needed to live somewhere where I could hunt and skin wild game without being viewed as a freak. She agreed to my terms but made it very clear that her offer of sex or tech was still on the table if I needed anything else but couldn't get at that time. As she walked off towards Twilight, I find myself thinking, man I’ve stumbled into a land ruled by complete pervert. 
I walked away to help dispose of the bodies. I wasn't sure how they would get rid of rotting wood carcasses, but I intended to set them of fire and watch them burn to cinders. It was getting dark when I finished setting fire to the bodies. After lying down to watch the fire consume the wolves, Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, the pink one, and a stunted growth dinosaur sat down next me. 
The one called Applejack seemed grateful for me saving her little sister Applebloom, whoever that was, from the wolves. I told her it wasn't problem since rainbow dash did most of the saving anyway. Fluttershy was touching my now completely healed leg wound trying to do something, I wasn't going to stop her or find out. Both Twilight and Rainbow were messing with my sidearm I guess trying to figure out how it worked. They would never be able to use it since it was designed for creatures such as myself that had fingers. Even if they figured how to use it, it was unloaded and the safety was on. The white Rarity was looking at my jacket saying something about the Kevlar padding and the faded colors. And the pink one was holding a bag of popcorn in one hoof. That did nothing to surprise me because of all the other weird shit that happened today, I’ve become pretty jaded to all the mind fucks this world was thrusting at me.
My view of the fire was blocked by the tiny dinosaur standing front of me, I guess he was trying to make himself seem real tough in front of me. “What do you want half pint?”
“You don't look so tough.”
“I’m not curb stomping your face right now. That's why.”
He glared at me for a bit, “My name is spike.”
“leaderofstars” I said offering my hand to shake. He either refused or didn't understand. “Ya know if your gunna give me grief about anything at all, forget it. I had just about all I could deal with today without getting completely smashed. So move over I got a fire to look at.” the dinosaur grunted and walked over to the side. I'm guessing he doesn't trust me at all or something.
“Why do you claim to be a apex predator? You seemed to have so much trouble fighting the timber wolves.”
Oh that's why the shrimp is acting like that. “I know I don't really look like an apex predator at first glance, but I’m more then capable of holding my own against other creatures back on Terra. I was just caught off guard with how the wolves were really made of wood not flesh and blood.”
He just looked at me, but said nothing. Which was fine with me, my fire looked nice burning like that. After a while the fire had died down forcing me to ask about where I could bunk down for the night. A female light green unicorn pony by the name of Lyra offered to let me stay at her place for the night, despite protest from her roommate, a off white pony named bon bon and every other pony that brought up that I may end up raping her, eating her or some other horse shit they were spreading around. How unsporting, doing anything to anybody in their sleep it's most unbecoming of a hunter like myself, both I would be careful around a lion myself. 
But I’m just glad somebody's willing to let me sleep in a proper home for tonight at least. I hope she has a couch.

“Tia what are you doing up so late?”  princess Luna asked her sister who still writing paperwork long after she was supposed to go to bed.
“Just finishing up some paperwork for that hue-man that I visited earlier,” princess Celestia.
“Oh? Hes still here? I thought you was going to get rid of him and his evil presence.”
“Before I could, he redeemed himself by helping the citizens of ponyville fend off a horde of timber wolves. There's enough good within him to let him stay here for the rest of his life.”
“He took you up on your offer, didn't he?”
Celestia stopped writing. “Actually no. He's just haunted by his past failures, but he did offer up up some sherds of his human technology in exchange for some land in Everfree forest. But I’m hoping he'll take me up on my original offer.”
“Why not get the elements to solve that problem. They removed nightmare moon, I’m sure they'll remove the pain.”
“Even if they could he isn't a creature readily affected by magic, through his soul screams of pain and sorrow.”
“Sorry to hear that.” luna started to walk away
“Oh maybe you could court him, lulu.”
luna turned to face her sister, “Why?”
“He's here for a reason, I’m guessing to find the love he never could while fighting in his old life. He's a immortal like us so you can take your time if your uncomfortable with the idea right now. He's just needs to open up before he can heal his soul.” 
“STOP TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH RANDOM PONIES!” Luna shouted at Celestia, who shown no reaction to her sister's shouting.
“At least go meet him at least once, hes not like the other-ponies I try to set you up with. He's... unique in the literal sense, both physically and mentally at least.”
“Just like every other pony you've set me up with since I’ve been back.”
“Just visit him when you have the chance. He'll be the odd one out in any crowd.”


author notes 
I claim Press Release and Doctor Cane as my own characters. I'll leave it up to ya'll to guess what their tramp stamps look like
hahaha I could turn that into a running gag

this chapter seems kinda boring especially with the lame fight sense I did nothing to milk right.
Right, anyways this chapter bring in two characters into the story Doctor Cane and Press Release want I want to have bigger roles later on as well as a plot device to balance out leaderofstars' healing ability. 
Might have some fapping in later chapters, I’m not sure yet.
If anything I’m trying to move the story along so I could use this one joke I came up with regrading difference between human and pony table manners.

Anyways thanks for reading this crap I came up with 

love and tolerance for you
honor and duty for me


> A new day dawns
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. 
Martin Luther King, Jr. 


I had a good night's sleep. I dreamt that I was playing uno with Sonic hedgehog, Luke Skywalker, and Kratos. I was on a roll, having managed to shove most of my draw two problems onto Luke and Kratos, who threaten me more then once with his swords. At the last second before I could call uno I became aware of something moving around in my hair. When I grabbed it off of my head, I awoke to my host Lyra brushing my hair.
“What are you doing?”
“I'm brushing your mane. It was such a mess before now it'll look better.”
“Please stop. There is nothing wrong with my hair that a comb and thirty seconds couldn't fix.”
“Oh relax, I’ll make you look better.”
“Lyra! Please leave him alone and come eat breakfast with me before it get cold.” Lyra’s roommate bon bon said having just wondered onto this scene.
“But I...”
“NOW.”
Lyra trotted away from me taking her brush with her. “Thank you ms. Bon. That was not what I wanted to wake up to.” She said nothing and followed Lyra to the dining room.
Sitting up from the couch, I rubbed the crust out of my eyes and then fell back to sleep on the couch. I was not used to how this world works yet, with the sun already reaching high noon despite it only being 7:30. I just need a few more hours and I’ll be fully awake.
Bon bon only gave me 25 minutes extra sleeping time before rolling my sleepy ass off the couch yelling at me to go clean my stink off. I followed her to their bathroom, because I'm a guest here and as such I needed to follow the rules that my hosts set. Despite being really tired, I noticed I could never truly clean myself in a tub designed for creatures smaller then myself. I guess I could wash my hair here, it'll be the only thing that could fit inside without breaking anything. I feel like a fucking giant in this bathroom. I'd better set the water to reverse puberty so I could wake up faster.

Lyra was sitting outside of the bathroom trying to get past her roommate bon bon to see what a hue-man looked like without clothes on. Bon bon was trying her hardest not to let her through but Lyra’s constant pleading was wearing down her resolve. The more that Lyra pleaded the more curious bon bon became to see what the hue-man was packing under all these clothes as well. Finally she gave in to her curiosity just as the hue-man stepped out of the bathroom wearing the same clothes he had on when he went in there.
“Well I feel better about that. Thank ms. Bon for forcing me take that shower. I'm hoping to get my own place with a bathroom that fits me so I won't feel so cramped.”

Lyra and bon bon just glared at each other for different reasons unknown to leaderofstars who walked back to the couch, grabbed his backpack, and pulled out a fried chicken leg. While eating breakfast, he started to check the amount of spare material his backpack had in reserve: descent amounts of everything but he needed more sulfur, lead, brass and glass in order to construct a proper hunting rifle and powerful enough cartridges. He wanted to go out and thin out the numbers of timbers wolves before they decided to attack again, but he would be needing .308 hunting rounds and/or 12 gauge slugs to break open their wood exteriors.
As he sat there, going through his backpack, Lyra sat down next to him just staring at the human. Leaderofstars turned to face her and saw she wasn't sitting down like a normal quadruped but like a biped like him. This was weird but not the strangest thing he ever saw; that title was held by princess Celestia's logic-defying hair. “So why do you sit like that?”

Meanwhile across town inside Sugarcube corner, Pinkie Pie was busy preparing for a party she was going to throw for leaderofstars the next night. At first it was going to be 'Welcome to Ponyville' party but after he helped fend off the wolves, so she decided to change it to a 'Thank you for saving Ponyville' party. He ate meat, what else could he eat? Pinkie thought as she finished putting icing on her latest batch of cupcakes. It doesn't matter, everypony loves my baked goods. I'm sure even one like him will enjoy my sweets. She wanted to make the party a extra special good one to make up for scaring him out of the tree. Twilight had explained that he was a omnivore but didn't said what-else he could eat besides meat. Oh! And then there's the drinks she'll have to serve. Mmm... is he old enough for Applejack's apple cider? Pinkie thought as she washed down a freshly eaten cupcake with some milk. 

Fluttershy was busy feeding her animals friends their early morning breakfast. It was a daily routine that she enjoyed doing, but her mind was not on her task today. She was thinking back to how fast leaderofstars' leg bite had healed after he yanked out all the timber wolf splinters. She wasn't sure how he healed so quickly but it certainly seemed like nothing new to him. It was like he was used to it already since he didn't really seem to care about it that much. 
There was a couple of things that was bothering her, one of which was: when he fell into her house, he was bleeding really hard from a bite that wouldn't bring down a normal pony, and then when she brought Twilight to her house, he was already up and about far sooner then expected. She wanted him to stay and explain how he could do all that, but she was afraid for the safety of all of her animal friends. Maybe she could talk to him about it the next time she saw him. Her thoughts were interrupted by the squawking one of her chickens as it tried to escape it's ironic burial by chicken feed.

Twilight was eating breakfast, her mind still fixated on the small device leaderofstars had on him. Rainbow had claimed that it emitted fire and loud bangs when he had held it, but she couldn't figure out how he could use it. Spike wasn't much help, he didn't really care about the hue-man at the moment because he was laughing at the comics section of Equestria daily. As Twilight eyes wondered from Spike to the newspaper strewed across the table she saw part of the front page entitled, “HUE-MAN FROM ANOTHER WORLD CLAIMS ABILITY.” Moving the papers around she was able to read the full title: “HUE-MAN FROM ANOTHER WORLD CLAIMS ABILITY TO TRAVEL TO MOON WITHOUT MAGIC.” Looking at the full title, she stopped eating and began reading the full story from a pony called Press Release. The story claimed that with the enough of the right resources, leaderofstars could build a 'rock-it' that could reach the moon and back without the aid of any magical device. It seemed that none of the hue-mans could use magic to begin with so they had to build devices to help them preform the work they couldn't do on their own. 
Twilight realized then that when she tried to locate leaderofstars via magic yesterday, the spell had failed because it detected the magic inside everypony and leaderofstars had no magic within him to be detected. That also means that his device isn't powered by magic like she had thought and everything he could do could be explained away as being the result of advanced human technology. But still reach the moon without magic? Impossible, there has to have some magic behind it. Quickly finishing her breakfast, Twilight grabbed her quill, ink, some paper and a saddlebag to hold them before galloping out the door leaving spike to shout out-loud, “Yeah OK I’ll clean up everything like you asked.”

At the Apple homestead both Big Mac and Applejack were expressing their concerns to Granny Smith regrading leaderofstars.
“He isn't a problem if he rescued lit'le Applebloom from the wolves.”
“He eats meat, sis. There's no telling' when he'll 'cide to have any of us as his next meal.”
“Winona eats meat as well. Whats keepin' her from doing the same to any of us.”
“Winona is a dog, not a hue-man. I trust her with the safety of this family. We know next to nothin' about the hue-man and I don't think it's safe lettin' that hue-man anywhere near any member of this family.” Big mac stomped on the ground to drive his point home.
Applejack just glared at her older brother, he had a good point. She didn't know what leaderofstars could do or even if this all was just a act just so he could have himself a nice pony-sized meal the next time he eats. “Still somepony willin' to their life to save others can't be all bad, right?”
Granny Smith just sat in her chair, while her grandfoals were arguing on what the to do. This whole problem was different then dealing with the timber wolves who ate meat and protected their own, this leaderofstars has shown his desire to eat meat and his willingness to save others from danger regardless if they were his kin or not. Granny Smith had the final say in all problems brought up by her family.
“Bring him here to me. I want to see him myself.”

leaderofstars wasn't having the best of mornings. After going outside to finish his chicken leg breakfast, he found bigotry was still popular even in a place such as this as several ponies, led by a white unicorn, had begun throwing slurs of sorts at him. Despite every fiber in his being wishing to put bullets in each of their little pony skulls, he decided to follow his fathers example and wait them out. 
His dad was weird to the point of having to take some medication, but he did a good job raising his only child. If there was one thing his father hated more then zombies, it was bigots, and he hated zombies so much he had gun racks installed allover his home so when the dead started walking he would be ready. Still, rather then treat bigots the same as zombies, he would always let them wear themselves out hating on him. He words of wisdom? “Fuck bigots, can't kill them for what they say but in the end their words are just words. There ain't no power behind their words besides bad breath. So let them hate, I got better things to do then fight hate with hate.”
leaderofstars had to admit that these pony bigots bastards couldn't insult themselves out of a wet paper bag. But while it's easy to ignore words, it's really hard to ignore a kick to your gut that drops you to the ground, especially when delivered by a pony in their prime. He would have gotten up off the ground sooner but he was busy getting his ass beat by the rest of the bigots. All he could do was curl up in a ball in a attempt to protect his vital organs. Despite Lyra pleading for them to stop, the whole crowd kept attacking him until they were sure he learned his lesson about staying anywhere near their families.
The nanobots began healing the damage done but it would take a while due to the crowd having given him some concussions. He was bleeding heavily from a gash on his head, but the real damage was to his body. With some broken ribs making it hard to breathe and a broken forearm and hand, he tried to downplay the severity of the injuries so Lyra could stop freaking out while attempting to put a bandage on his injuries. After 25 or so minutes of Lyra bandaging him up and apologizing for the actions of the bigots, the nanobots finished repairing the concussions but not his gash which was still bleeding hard. It still hurt like a bitch though, since the nanobots never stopped the nervous system from transmitting pain. Thanks to the injuries affecting the brain being hard to fix, the nanobots deemed his broken hand and arm “low priority issues” and stopped the healing process on them but gave his broken ribs a “high priority issue” alert. Lyra couldn't bear to see him in such pain and ran inside to get away from the battered human.

Twilight found herself wondering who could be this mean to somepony. It's one thing to throw insults but to actually physically hurt somepony is unheard of. Despite having bandages on all over his body and labored breathing, leaderofstars was still awake and aware of Twilight approaching him.
“Who did this to you? She cried out at seeing the human in obvious pain.
Leaderofstars just grinned, a painful, forced, sinister grin. “The local wildlife. I do appear to have taken quite a beating at their hands. But I’ll get them fuckers back. Nothing says 'fuck me? No, fuck you' quite like the overuse of a shock taser.”
“a what?” She was a bit concerned at the smile the human had on his face. It scared her to her bones.
“20,000 volts of nonlethal pants shitting pain. I'll teach them rat bastards that I’m not to be fucked with.” he propped himself up on his good arm, holding his broken arm to his chest. The pain was immense but the ribs had partly healed up. He looked at his broken hand and arm. It'll be hard holding and reloading a gun properly with one hand but he done stuff like that before.
“leaderofstars, your scaring me. Please clam down and think this over. Your talking about responding to violence with violence and that doesn't solve anything.” She was scared, scared of this rage that was spilling out in his voice.
He looked at her and for a split second Twilight saw his eyes filled up with pure hate before becoming cold, calculating. “You're right.” he sighed, “Better beat them with a stick.”
“What!? I just told you not to...” Twilight was even more fearful of the human. His eyes now seemed like a endless expanse of cold heartlessness.
“Its not gunna hurt too badly, but it will teach them a lesson they won't soon forget.”

Twilight put her front hooves on both of the human's shoulders to try and keep him from getting up. Twilight didn't want to use the Elements of Harmony on leaderofstars, because of his immunity to most magic, it might end up making him direct his rage on her and her friends. Still letting him continue on this path would only make things worse for himself. “Stop this, please!” 
She wanted him to calm down. If he lets his rage overcome his mind and attacks anypony for any reason, both him and his knowledge of human technology might be banished back to his home world. 
“Promise me.”
“Promise what?”
“That you not attack anypony even if you are attacked by them.”
“WHY THE FUCK NOT?” his voice held the rage of caged animal.
Twilight flinched, this wasn't like when she faced discord or nightmare moon, who only wanted control. The human had nothing left to live for. Celestia had told her about the rest of the humans having died fighting a powerful evil, leaving him alone to wander his home-world. The feelings of loneliness and regret were all he had left until he got here. Maybe if she could convince him that he could still be useful to somepony, it might help him come to terms with the past. “Because... your human technology could be used for the benefit of pony-kind. And if you attack anypony Princess Celestia may send you back to where ever you came from.”

He just looked at her, lost in thought. True, we humans have made horrible weapons of war and done things that would make anyone of these ponies look at him as another monster, but there have been many people who done great things for the sake of others often at their own expense. When he first arrived here he wondered if this place was his final reward. this was far from good enough to be worthy as his heaven, but not evil enough to be his hell. It was like home. A mix of good and evil balanced out by the people who lived in it. Maybe that white figure brought him here for a reason. Maybe the reason was to share his knowledge of human history, achievements and machines so others could know about humanity's rise and demise. If sharing this knowledge meant having to deal with bigots then, “Fine. I promise to exercise nonviolence against your fellow ponies.”
“I want you to pinkie promise.”

He tried to bring his good arm up give a pinkie swear, but because Twilight was still pushing on his shoulders he lost his balance and fell back. The impact sent a surge of pain flying out from his ribs. Twilight kept her hooves on his shoulders and was now straddling the lower part of his gut to keep him from getting up. He lifted up his hand, causing Twilight to flinch again, and extended his pinkie finger.
“What are you doing?” Twilight was unsure of this gesture.

“I’m pinkie swearin like you want to.” he looked at her hooves for a few seconds before looking back at Twilight. “Oh, right yeah. You don't have any pinkies or extra digits. Fuck it, side two. I cross my heart, hope the die, stick a needle in my eye.”

Twilight realized that human culture must be just as complex, if not more so, then her own. Their version of a pinkie promise is done with either their claws or by invoking bodily harm on themselves. Even so it seems promise is a promise regardless of ones culture. 
Before she could say, do or think anything, “You met him a few days ago Twilight and you already mounted him? I thought you would wait a bit longer.”
Twilight blushed heavily and jumped off leaderofstars, allowing him to prop himself up again in order to face the owner of that voice. It was Rainbow Dash, sporting a smug grin on her face. She walked up to Twilight and without changing the smugness of her face, “So how was your first time, twi?  Was he a 'little' much for you?” She burst out laughing, no doubt at the joke she made about the size of leaderofstars' member.

leaderofstars didn't find this amusing, mainly because he had no comeback for her remarks. But just because you don't know much about someone doesn't mean you are ammo-less. All it takes is to wound their pride, or get them to feel sorry for you. He was wounded, the splint on his arm and blood matted hair was proof of that. “oh yeah sure. Hit me while I’m injured and hurtin'. Your a real bitch, bitch. Ya know that?”
Rainbow Dash turned to get a proper look at the human and was taken aback by the sight of blood tricking down his cheek. There was so much blood dripping onto his clothes, that Rainbow felt a bit sick. “you, you look horrible. How can you sit there and act like you aren't in horrible pain.?” Rainbow was a bit impressed and fearful. The human was bleeding hard, had a splint on his arm and was acting like there was no pain for him to feel. If he could shrug off injuries like that off, what else could he do? He did claim to be a apex predator. Maybe this is how he proved himself worthy of that title, taking all sorts of injuries and coming out on top no matter what he had to fight. Still why did he not fight back? She trotted over, sat down next to him, and put a hoof on his chest causing him to flinch slightly. “Who did this to you?” While he was not close enough to her be called a friend, Rainbow held some respect for the human after he tried to save the cutie mark crusaders during yesterday's attack.
“Some jerks, trying to protect their families from a nonexistent threat.” leaderofstars had calmed down enough to recognize the problem he poised to some of the families around town. Because he ate meat, many around town were going to be afraid of him and his eating habits. Seriously, should I really be demonized for my eating habits? Not my fault bacon and burgers taste fuckin' delicious. boy am I glad I wanted to live in the forest. I could hunt and fish in peace there.
“Did you get a good look at them? I'll show them not to mess with you.” Rainbow seemed quite angry at what was done do the human after what he did the other day.
“I didn't really get a good look at them, but I did see a white one, a unicorn I believe. Eh, fuck them, in the same moment of that I was getting the shit stomped outta me, I heard Ms. Lyra pleading for them to stop. Besides when I met Twilight, she did say shit like this was going to happen sooner or later and at the time I didn't know how strong you ponies could be.”
“A white unicorn? Hmm... I wonder who it could be?”
“Anyways I’m feeling a bit better.” he said getting up. “I just need some beer in me and I’ll be able to ignore the pain better.”
The two ponies just stared at him. “Beer? Whats that?” Twilight asked while using her magic to bring out her writing supplies so she could write down this titbit of knowledge.
“Ya don't know what beer is?” leaderofstars was crushed. There was no beer here in this world for him to drink. No screwdrivers, no shooters and definitely no ale. Fuck me. Out of all the worlds that white jackass could send me, he sends me to the one that doesn't know what beer is. He was pissed, pissed that he didn't have enough materials to construct a still himself and that he didn't take some brews with him when he left to fight the raccoon god. He fell back on Lyra’s house and slid down to the ground. “I don't want to live on this planet without a properly made brew.”
Both Rainbow and Twilight were confused. How important was this 'beer' or 'brew' to him. Twilight thought to herself. Is it anything like apple cider?
“Cheer up.” Rainbow was trying to be supportive. “I’m sure you can make your own.”
He perked up, a raging fire of conquest burning in his eyes. “You're right. I can brew up some simple ale if I had barley, yeast, hops and enough materials to construct a still to cook 'em in.” He stood up, a look of determination in his eyes.
“That's better then moping around. Come on, and let us show you the town.”
Twilight was busy writing down the ingredients list for the production of 'beer'. She needed to know more about the specifics regarding the ratios of the ingredients and creation time. “Can you tell me more about the creation process of this 'beer'.

Meanwhile inside Carousel Boutique, Rarity was busy sewing together a dress for a client while taking to her little sister.
“I don't care. You are not allowed anywhere near him at least not without me.” Rarity was concerned for the safety of Sweetie Belle, and while the human did in fact saveher from the wolves, Rarity felt that he was still a threat to her little sister.
“But, sis...”
“No buts. If you see him again you are not to get anywhere near him. He's a predator and as such should be treated like the timber wolves.”
“Would he have saved me if he really wanted to kill me?
“I'm not sure why, but until I get know him better, you stay far away from him.”
“Fine.” Sweetie Belle said dejectedly 

Celestia was busy dealing with her royal court duties, addressing concerns her subjects were bringing to her attention. It was lazy day since everything was working perfectly for once, and Celestia was enjoying the laziness. At least until the guards let a brown unicorn wearing a fedora with a traditional press pass cutie mark into the court.
“Hello madam. My name is Press Release. I'm a reporter with Equestria daily.”
“Ah yes. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yes ma'am. I want to discuss what you were talking to the hue-man about yesterday, After the timber wolf attack.” 

Meanwhile across the country, inside a wooden wagon sat Trixie, eating herself a early lunch while reading the newspaper she had brought. The title caught her eye at first and after some internal debating she spent some bits in order to read the rest. She was not disappointed. A creature that couldn't use magic but managed to reach the moon? Mmm.... such a creature is a rare find indeed. If I can convict this 'hue-man' to join me, I wonder what secrets he'll reveal to me?
She was convinced that she would be famous if she 'tamed' such a creature like this 'leaderofstars'. “So he's living in ponyville. I think it's time for THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE to prove she isn't a two bit hack. My skills will be legendary and well known throughout the world.”  
After finishing her meal she used her magic to make her wagon start moving all the way to ponyville.

Luna was dreaming a strange dream. She saw two bipedal creatures fighting a long painful one sided battle. One was wearing spiky metal armor and the other heavy cloth armor. They were fighting with weapons that looked nothing alike, a sword and a tube that spat fire and noise. The creature in the cloth armor was winning until it's opponent, rather then fighting fairly, nearly obliterated the other with a powerful energy beam. Still the cloth armored creature fought on, fueled by a unknown power, until he was stabbed through the chest. 
As it lay there bleeding out, a white robed figure holding some kind of bladed staff stood before the dying creature. Holding up a set of scales the dieing creature's wounds healed up and it vanished.
Luna woke up the dream still stuck in her mind. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. The entire fight was a entity pure evil fighting against a creature with a precarious balance of good and evil within it's heart. And Luna had a good idea who this creature was.

“What do you mean 'what's steel'?” leaderofstars was yelling in the middle of town at the two ponies leading him around. He wanted to start work on a beer still within a week but there was no steel to build the holding tank with. “It's a metal made from refined iron ore and coal that is very strong and durable. How could ya not know what it is?”
“We don't really mine most metals because of their rarity and the toxic by-products produced during the refining process. Only common, pure metals like gold or sliver are ever mined on a large scale because of the simple nature of their refinement process.” Twilight was informing the human of the problems with refining certain metals which he didn't take very well. 
“Jesus, if I knew this place didn't have much metal to work with I would have brought some more with me.” leaderofstars knew that most of his weapons relied on steel parts to cycle the brass cartridges to fire the lead slugs. If and when he runs out of materials in his backpack he'll be shit-outta-luck. This was not good, he needed those metals to construct devices he'll need to help him survive out in the forest. Maybe there's some ore deposits he could mine out somewhere.

While he was lost in his thoughts he failed to noticed Twilight was carrying him around with her magic all the way to local cafe. When he came back to reality he found himself standing outside of a type of restaurant. “Uhh where are we?”
“We're at the Flower Cafe,” Rainbow said trotting over to a pile of straw and siting down. Twilight and the human sat down at the same table with the human sitting down cross-legged. 
Twilight was amazed at how the human sat down, with his legs bending in the opposite direction of a ponies legs. While it would be really uncomfortable to a pony, it didn't seem to bother him at all. In fact it seemed to come naturally to him as he bend forward a bit and rested his arms on his knees. Soon a waiter came by and passed out menus before rushing away at the sight of the human.
Leaderofstars didn't think much of it since he did have a bit of reputation with the meat and the gun. As he looked through the menu, he saw noticed Twilight getting her face close to the flower pot centerpiece. Looking up he saw both Rainbow and Twilight grabbing flowers out of the vase with their mouths and eating them.
“Why are ya doing that?”
“Do what?” Rainbow sounded angry.
“Why are ya eating the decorative centerpiece?” He raised a eyebrow in confusion pointing at the flower pot. “It holds the table together giving it something nice to look at.”
Twilight swallowed her flower, “These flowers are given free to all patrons of this cafe to eat.”
“Oh. So it's like the free bread to ya. Should have figured that since ya are herbivores that eat grass and the like. Boy I feel dumb.” He put down his menu and slid it over top the edge of the table so the waiter could pick it up when he comes by again. “Unfortunately that means I can't really eat or drink most of the stuff on this menu. I’ll just have some apples, bananas with a water.”
Twilight's horn glowed a bit as she informed the rest of her friends to meet her at the Flower Cafe. This would be a good opportunity for most of ponyville to see the human eating something other then meat that he claims to enjoy. 
When the waiter came back he took the girls orders of a few flower pedal sandwiches. He seemed really nervous and shaky asking the human what he wanted to eat. 
leaderofstars saw this and decided to screw with the guy. Licking his lips, rubbing his palms together, he stared at Twilight and Rainbow, “Oh. I know what I want for lunch and dinner.” The waiter started shaking violently at the human's actions while Twilight and Rainbow just stared at him in confusion. 
“Um... yes....well w-we-what w-w-would you l-l-l-like to drink?” He was trying so hard not to show his fear in front of the human.
“Dude chill the fuck man. I’ll just have some apples, bananas and a water. Why are you sweating bullets?”
While Rainbow glared at the human, Twilight informed the waiter that five others will be joining this party. The waiter could not have left fast enough.

After waiting a bit, a period of time that was spent tanking one sided arguments from Twilight and Rainbow, Fluttershy sat down at the table. After hearing what I did to the waiter she got really mad and joined her friends in the shouting match while I sat there took it all. No one here thought my joke was funny and thankfully they stopped shouting at me before the rest of Twilight's friends and a big red pony arrived at the table. After the waiter took their orders, more pedal sandwiches, they just stared at me for the longest while. I felt a little on edge with their death stares, so I decided to lighten the mood with a joke.
“This is way too much stress for me. Lets tell some jokes. What do you do when a musician comes to your door?”
The pink one shouted a bunch of 'oh's' and waved her front hoof around without actually giving a answer.
“Right. Well just pay him and take your pizza.” No one got it at all. It was to be expected after all they have a different culture then my old one.
The pink one said a joke but it involved a creature I was not familiar with and as such was lost on me much like my joke had been.
Finally the food arrived with myself getting 3 apples and 4 bananas. Licking my lips in anticipation I grabbed the banana and started to unwrap it.

Twilight was staring at the way the human was eating the banana. Instead of eating it as is, he used his claws to gently strip the outer coat off before consuming the center in one go. He was unique no doubt about that. He was the last of his kind and he adapts to our culture while blending in elements of his own into his actions. He is definitely deserving of more study.
Leaderofstars stopped eating his meal, a thought had just come to him, how am I gunna pay for my meal? I have no usable currency on me.

Sometime later the small group of ponies and one human were walking to Sweet Apple Acres, at the request of Applejack and her brother's grandmother. He went along with this because he needed to get a job and pay off the ponies who footed his portion of the bill.  He didn't like being in debt to anyone. Along the way there the pink one was busy telling jokes that made everyone else laugh. He felt like a third wheel so he tried his hand again at telling jokes.

“Alright I got another joke hopefully ya'll get this. I once knew a guy who saved all his life for a cemetery plot. Then he took a cruise and was lost at sea.” perfect, almost. Just about everyone was laughing except the big red one. He just gave a simple 'heh' and that was it. I walked up next to him trying to match him long strides. “Are my jokes funny enough for you?”
“Eeyup.”
“Is that all you have to said?”
“Eeyup.”
“Well your definably more at ease with me being a predator and all then most people around town.” the red pony looked at me for a brief second before looking back ahead. Ok, well he hated me that’s obvious even when he only has the one facial expression.

At one point during the trip Twilight kept rambling on how she and her friends once defeated a entity of pure chaos named Discord by using something called the elements of harmony. From the sound of it Discord enjoy pulling pranks on people, and as a result they sentenced him to a fate worse then death: to be trapped forever within a stone statue.  The punishment isn't even worth the crime, there's nothing on his rap sheet that should get him more then 2 years in a jail cell.
“So he pulled a couple of pranks and he gets encased within stone. Jeez I hate to see what the punishment for murder is like.”
Twilight didn't think I was being serious as she began berating me about my opinion on that matter. Something about chaos being bad to everyone or some other bullshit. “Ok. First this discord pulled off a couple of harmless pranks with his powers. Did he kill anybody?” Twilight tried to dodge the issue but with a little pressuring I found out that no, he didn't actually kill anyone. 
“Secondly the shit he pulled would have been filed under criminal mischief and he would have been put in jail for a year or two at most and fined $5000. This kingdom has no concept of true crime and punishment because there's only been what 10 criminals since it was founded? Lastly, what you did to discord makes me sick, knowing your ruler lets a power like the harmony elements to be used by those perfectly willing to condemn someone to a fate far worse then death.” 

Twilight and her friends were feeling so many different emotions from anger and rage to regret at the human. 
“Well then. What were we supposed to do then? Let Discord wander around Equestria causein' all sorts of chaos where ever he wanted?” Applejack was fuming mad. She knew they had to put discord in that statue to save their home, and this human was making her and her friends to seem like the evil ones.
“What? Ya couldn't strip his powers away? The harmony elements seem powerful enough to do so. A far more fitting punishment for someone like him. But I guess that’s what happens when you make those with no concept of 'making the punishment fit the crime' judge and jury over someone's very life. You stuffed him into a hunk of rock leaving him to grow crazy and more dangerous the next time he pops out. Your actions may have made it worse, because he may decide to outright kill someone instead of pulling prank on people.”
Applejack wanted to buck him so hard, but Twilight stopped her by asking, “Where your from, Terra, it had lots of evil hue-mans right?”
“Yes. To the point we had a group of men and women whose job was it to bring justice on those who broke the law. All suspected lawbreakers were innocent until proven guilty in a court of law as determined by a group of their peers. There was a system in place to try and keep those wrongly accused of crime out of jail but it wasn't perfect. I could tell you all the details but it boils down to a argument where two groups try to either prove or disprove the suspect's innocence. Sometimes those wronged never get to see justice done because the murderer manages to get the charges dropped and walk away free as a bird.”
Twilight felt a bit sad at what he said killers sometimes getting away with their crimes, but he did say it wasn't perfect. His world was not like theirs, it was a world where good sometimes lost to evil. But still he was basically calling them evil for doing what had to be done to Discord. 
“But mister stars.” Squeaked a timid voice from the yellow pegasus, “Is it not right to let a murderer go free?”
“No it isn't. But sometimes they would get free, kill again and then get the proper punishment for their crimes. Some crimes are considered much worse to commit then the law says they are, because of the long reaching effects of the trauma.” He looked at Fluttershy, who was trying to hide from him behind Rainbow. “There were those who committed crimes against children that they themselves were killed in jail for because their jail mates found what they did was more horrible then what they themselves had done. Think about for a minute. Someone, in jail for killing 20 people, killed another criminal because he did something to a child. There's monsters and then there’s just pure evil.”

Every single one of the ponies there took what the human was talking about differently: Fluttershy couldn't believe that hue-mans would kill each other for the most ridiculous reasons, Rainbow found that there was somethings just rang true no matter where you go, Pinkie pie was depressed at how cruel the human's world was, Twilight felt a pang of regret for sealing up discord within stone, Rarity felt that the human was a bigger threat then she had thought, Applejack was still mad, but knew that because of his world had much more experience dealing with evil, he was right about the hastiness of sealing discord away rather then attempting to strip him of his powers.
“So what are you?” Big Mac asked, still wearing his favorite facial expression. “evil or a monster?”
“I’m just a fallen warrior looking for a reason to keep on fighting.”


author notes
fuck man. This story was forced out of me even when I had writers block. 
Nothing much else to say here. Been trying to come up with our friend's real name so people would stop calling this a author self insertion.

Anyways I'm spent for now. This took way longer then I wanted to write and it has make me sleepy. Night.

friendship for you
coexistence for me

> and now the day ends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let us form one body, one heart, and defend to the last warrior our country, our homes, our liberty, and the graves of our fathers. 
Tecumseh 

No one said anything else for a while. Everyone was forming their own opinions about what leaderofstars had said. Some viewed him as a asshole only looking out for himself, for others he had a new perspective on their past actions. 
Only Pinkie Pie saw that what he said wasn't meant to be insulting, but a glimpse into his culture. Despite leaderofstars coming off so harshly, she saw that there was still a certain kindness in how he described this small portion of his world. It wasn't perfect sure but it was still his home. She knew how he felt, leaving your home and traveling around. But where as she could return to her parents' rock quarry at anytime for any reason, there was no one left at his home for him to return to. She couldn't imagine how lonely he must feel, being the last of his kind. “leaderofstars. I'm throwing a party tomorrow night and would love for you to join.” 
Everyone looked at the pink party pony and all but one chalked it up to Pinkie just being Pinkie.
“Why are you throwing a party?”
“Oh, its your 'thanks for saving Ponyville' party. I wanted to throw one for you when I found out you had arrived in Ponyville, But then I got you sent to the hospital. I want you to feel welcome to Ponyville even if you did get hurt badly today.”
leaderofstars touched his crusted-over head wound and realized he never did clean the blood off of his face or his clothes. No wonder the waiter was freaking out and I was getting death stares from everyone. Crap, I’ve becoming my dead, oblivious father. 
He was going to need a proper shower to clean up properly before he went back into town anytime soon. It was one thing not to clean off blood when living off the land by yourself, it's a whole other can of beans not to clean up in front of those who don't eat meat or deal with blood a whole lot. “Before I meet your grandmother, Ms. Jack I’m gonna have to clean up a bit first. I must look scary with all the blood on my face.”
She scoffed at him, still mad at what he had said earlier. He wasn't winning any popularity contests with the locals, it was like they never had to deal with criticism before. He may not know the specifics of what happened during discord's brief period of freedom, but as long as no one died there was no real reason to imprison the poor bastard in stone.
Regardless it seemed that the life he grew up into and the life these ponies were living was much too different to ever coexist. Back home humans had killer instincts that party drove their every thought and action, but not here. This land was filled with creatures that had no such instincts and as such never knew what a murderous rage felt like. 
Oh boy. They never had to deal with someone like me and they hate me because I refuse to change for them. What do I look like, a lump of clay waiting to be molded. As long as I still breathe I will not change who I am or what I do for any reason. He mentally sighed, starting to feel regret for acting like such a dick to the only ones willing to put up with his bullshit. I fucking suck. Here I am acting like a total prick to the only ones on this damn planet that don't find me a complete threat.

“Look y’all.” he said stopping in his tracks. “I want to apologize for acting like a giant prick earlier. It's just that I kinda know what this discord fellow is going through right now since I went through something like that at one point in my life. The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it fall under, according to human law, 'cruel and unusual punishment'. Those type punishments are generally considered way worse then outright killing someone since it prolongs one's suffering in horrible ways.”
The whole group was staring at him. “What do you mean 'you know what discord's going through right now'?” Twilight asked, puzzled at his confession.
“I’ve been alive for far too long now. By the time I left Terra, it was stuck in the grip of an ice age and I'd spent many a cold lonely night sleeping inside of an icy caves that used to be buildings. I should be dead right now, but I’m far to good at surviving. So I’m asking y'all to forgive me for my outburst and perhaps take it easy on me when my culture clashes with yours.”
“Ya didn't hafta make it seem like we were monsters fer trapping discord into stone.”
“That would be called 'cruel and unusual punishment' back home and would be illegal to do anything like that. Regardless what your intentions were, what you did still seems unnecessary cruel to do regardless what he did.”
“Well I guess yer right. Bu what would've you done if you fought him?”
“Try to get him to stop so I could arrest him or if worse comes to worse, kill him. Death is better then leaving him alive in constant pain.”
Despite his apology to the group of ponies, most of them cared little for his past plight to change their opinions about him as they walked towards the rapidly appearing farmhouse.

Meanwhile back in Ponyville a bright green mare was having a bit of fun wearing the jacket and glasses the human had left behind.
“Lyra take those off, now.”
“Oh but Bon Bon I’m just trying it on so I could see how it feels to wear human clothing.” Lyra said looking at herself in a mirror. “It's almost like a dress to me, it's so big and heavy.” she was trying to shift her body around to better fit the human's coat.
“Take it off Lyra. I don't think he'll like it when he finds out you've been wearing his coat. Just put it back and go earn your half of the rent.” she said slipping back into the kitchen. 
“Can I wear the glasses still?” Lyra asked hopefully.
“No.”

leaderofstars was looking a lot better, having cleaned the blood off of his face. He felt woefully under-dressed to meet this “Granny Smith”. Applejack and her brother were inside talking to Ms. Smith, no doubt regrading the horse shit he did on the way here. As he sat around looking around the farm, he saw there was no standard human crops like corn or cotton, just tons of apple trees. This ain't a farm, it's a orchard. He thought as he looked around. Scratch that more this place is more like a ranch with that barn. Almost all of the other ponies were talking among themselves about something, Twilight made many motions around her head and chest. Almost all of them, Pinkie was enjoying the belly rub he was giving her. It started out as the human petting her head, but she then she jumped on his legs, belly up and begging with big ol' puppy eyes. 
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a door opening. “So where is he? I want to see if what ya'll sayin' is true.” leaderofstars turned around to face a green wrinkled pony.
“Hello ma'am. Are you Mrs. Smith?”
“Yes dearly. I’m Granny Smith. What is your name?
“I prefer to be called 'leaderofstars'. I used to be soldier before leaving my home-world.”
“A soldier? Whats that?”
“I protected the people of my homeland from any and all who attempted to harm them.”
She said nothing else as she stared at the human. Her eyes, filled with wisdom, looked upon him. After a while she walked over and sat down, looking at the farm she had spent all her life on.
“I heard about what you did yesterday. Tell me, is this land your home now?”
“Home is where the heart is. Where I came from will always be my home, for that is where my heart remains. I only protected the little ones yesterday because they needed to be saved.”
Granny Smith nodded as he finished talking. The human was much more polite then her kin had said he was. “Tell me,” she said pointing towards her farm. “What do you see here?”
“The result of many years of hard work. The land is ideal and your trees are big, healthy and strong. Much care went into them that I can see.”
Every single one of the ponies had walked over to hear the conversation a bit better.
“So leaderofstars how would you like th' work here at Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Sounds likes a bad idea to me. Your grandchildren seem to pretty much hate and I don't want to make things worse. I’ll find some other source of income to help me purchase supplies so I could live in the forest.”

Everyone there seemed confused at what he said. “Why would yeh want to live there? There's nothing natural about Everfree forest.” Applejack asked.
“What do you mean? ok... granted the wooden wolves are a bit weird, but after I cull their numbers they should no longer be a threat to the town.”
“What she means is that Everfree isn't like Ponyville, you'll be at the mercy of its unregulated weather.” Twilight explained.
“Unregulated weather? What's that supposed to mean?”
Rainbow Dash smiled. “We pegasi can control the weather with clouds produced at Cloudsdale. Beat that.”
leaderofstars felt his pride under attack. Action must be taken to prove he can do better things then her. “Oh really? We humans wiped a deadly disease off the face of our planet, to the point that samples of it only existed within several labs around Terra. Beat that.”
She huffed and turned around trying to come up with a good comeback. “Well...uh... your mostly hairless.”
“Don't quit your day job. You gonna need it to pay someone with a funny bone to write your jokes.” he said with a face that was trying so hard not to laugh or smile.
“Well now. Yeh ain't as bad as my grandkin said you were.” Granny smith noted out-loud.
“OK.” His face turned to her still wearing his bad poker face. “What did your grandchildren say about me?”
“They described yeh as a hard flank that should learn his place before they make yeh.”
Oh that's fucking nice, he thought to himself, “Yeah, good luck with that, I think. Anyways I should be getting back to Lyra’s, since I feel unwelcome here.” He stopped rubbing Pinkie's belly, who looked at him with a sad face.
“Yeh saved Applebloom. You'll be always welcome here.”    
“Hmm.. thank you.”
Pinkie Pie piped up almost immediately, her sad face gone, while staring off into a random direction, “End of fifth sequence and fade to black.”
“wha...”

Derpy Hooves was just finished organizing the mail-room that she worked in, singing a tune she came up with a few days ago. She really enjoyed singing this tune because it showed her love of muffins. “We're no strangers to love; You know the rules and so derp I; A full hot muffin's what I'm thinking of; You wouldn't get this from other pegasi; I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling; Gotta make you understand... oh?”
A package appeared in front of the gray pegasus and landed on the urgent/same-day pile. It was unusual, getting a package so late in the day. As she examined the package with her good eye, she saw that there was no mailing address. All it just had a name, 'Poncho Taylor', the seal of the royal family imprinted on it, several tags like 'hoof-deliver', fragile, and a drawn picture of that creature that had wondered into town a few days ago.
“Oh!” she said as everything fell in to place. Princess Celestia must want this package sent straight to that creature that dances funny. Placing the package inside of her saddle-mailbag, she looked long and hard at the picture, taking in all the details of what the recipient looked liked. She didn't want to make a mistake, it was bad enough her lack of depth perception made her really clumsy at flying around town. But she was the best at delivering letters despite her lazy eye, nopony could deny that.
Just one more package and I’ll go home to dinky, She thought as she locked up the post office. It wasn't going to be easy finding him in town, but Derpy could always play amateur detective and ask around town to see if anypony had seen him.
Ponyville wasn't the biggest town around but it was large enough to get lost in if you don't know the area. Derpy flew up into the sky, and looked around. Maybe I should start looking around in the market place, some-pony’s bound to have seen him she thought as she started gilding down to the ground toward the section of Ponyville with lots of stalls and shops.
After asking around the shops, she found that even though it's hard to miss him no-pony had seen him. It was going to take a long time at this rate and Derpy didn't want to take too long on this run because she still had to prepare supper for Dinky. Still it wasn't looking like she'll be getting home anytime soon. She took the skies again to scan the surrounding area. As she looked around she noticed Lyra walking to the park with her lyre. Derpy remembered that Lyra had let the human she was looking for sleep in her house, maybe she knows where he went. She glided down, careful to avoid any hazards in her way and landed next to her.
“Oh hey Derpy. What's are you doing?”
“I’m trying to deliver a package to Poncho Taylor.”
“Poncho Taylor? I've never heard of that pony before.”
“I'm sure you have. You let him stay with you last night.”
“You mean leaderofstars? Yeah he left with Twilight earlier after he got attacked.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“No. He didn't tell me where he was going.”
Derpy groaned. If it wasn't for her dedication at her job she would have left the package back at the office and went home to her daughter. Thanking Lyra for all her help, she flew up into the skies again. The sun was going down little by little and she wanted to deliver the package before dinky got hungry.
As she flew around town, she saw a small group of ponies walking into town on the road that led from sweet apples acres. As she focused on the group she saw that one of the ponies was a lot taller then the other. With renewed hope she flew straight toward the group.

“No.”
“Why not?”
“No. no. no. no. no. no. no. a thousand times no.”
“I have a spare bed you can sleep in.”
“That’s not the point.” leaderofstars was getting annoyed at the purple unicorn's constant attempts to get him to stay at her library for the night. While yes, the offer of a real bed was tempting, he wouldn't go anywhere without his gear first. And because he was far to tired to go anywhere else after grabbing his gear off Lyra’s couch, it was a good place to nap as any. “Can we do this tomorrow, after I wake up? I’m far too sleepy to do anything besides pass out.”

Twilight didn't hear his complaints, and kept on bugging him. She wanted to copy everything he knew down onto paper. While still feeling sad about what he had said to her earlier, Twilight still wanted to learn everything about his world. Just because he's jaded from being forced to live by himself is no reason not to try and be nice to him. She felt he was trying to avoid getting close to anypony because of  the differences between their two cultures. If she could break down the walls he was using to surround himself then he would lighten up a bit more.

I hate concussions. leaderofstars thought to himself. He was tired, that meant the nanobots finally finished fixing the concussion he had received. After a nice long sleep he would be far more willing to use his brain for what ever Twilight wanted him to do; If he didn't go crazy with her continuing to make a pain of herself trying to talk him into staying with her. He wanted to sleep with his guard down tonight, a first in a long period of time. Just lie down on the couch and not give a single fuck to the world around him. 
Most of the other ponies had left the pair alone, each going back to their respective homes as soon as the group had reach the outskirts of town, leaving the human to suffer at the hoofs of the nagging purple unicorn. If he had his way he would have shot himself in the head, but the nanobots would prevent him from even pulling the trigger. All he could do was try to ignore the unicorn until he could get back to Lyra's and her couch. Occasionally she would stop talking but only long enough to breathe. She was still coming up the reasons why he should share everything he knew about his home-world customs, traditions, technology, and politics about with her and not keep it all to himself. He never said that he wouldn't share, he said that he wanted to sleep first before doing anything.
He was far too damn tired to deal with this unicorn, and her constant nagging was pushing him to the limit of his patience.
“TWILIGHT!” he cried out, raising his pimp hand. “Is this human gonna hafta to backhand a purple unicorn before you pay attention to what I said.”
“Don't be rude. All I’m tr...”
“And I agreed to tell you tomorrow. But you weren't paying attention to me at all. You was just going on and on about why I should spill my guts that you never heard me saying 'yes, lets do that tomorrow.'” His face was red with rage.
Before the two of them could say anything else, a gray pegasus flew down and around the human. “I’ve finally found you, Poncho Taylor.”
leaderofstars' face was full of confusion, after all as far as he knew he never told any of these ponies his full name. How did this one know my real name? I've never saw this one before now.
“Uh, Derpy. I think you got it all wrong.” Twilight pointed a hoof at leaderofstars. “That's leaderofstars, not Poncho.”
“No. he's Poncho. This package says so.” She said, pulling out a box out of her saddle-mailbag and giving it to leaderofstars, who made a slow attempt to grab it.
“How do you know my full name? Are you a succubus?”
“A what? No, I’m Derpy Hooves, Ponyville's number one mailmare.” She said trying to look her best.
“Answer me damn it. If this package is addressed to me, how did you know that it was me?”
Derpy was getting confused.”You mean how did I knew to give you the package?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Derpy pulled a picture out of her saddle-mailbag and showed it to leaderofstars. It was a crude, but accurate picture of the human.
“Did you draw this yourself?”
“No both it and the package was sent to the post office from Canterlot. Princess Celestia must have drawn it so it could be send straight to you, since you don't have a address to send it to.”
“Makes sense. But how did you know where to find me?”
“I didn't. I flew all over trying to find you so I could finish my shift and... oh no Dinky! I still need to prepare supper for her! Bye Poncho. Bye Twilight.” She flew off, narrowly avoiding a tree and disappeared behind some buildings.
Twilight spoke up. “So I’ll talk to you tomorrow then. After you get a good night's sleep, I mean.”
“Agreed. See ya. bye.” He walked off towards Lyra's house still holding the package. Rather then tear it open he decided to leave it be until he got to Lyra's. 

Walking into Lyra’s house 10 minutes later, the awaking effects from the adrenaline, that had been pumped into his body when he yelled at Twilight, slowly fading away, he saw Bon Bon eating candies then spiting them out wrapped up a several seconds later. Dropping his package on the couch, he walked over to better see what Bon Bon was doing.
It took only a few seconds of watching to understand what she was attempting to do. “Mine if I help?” leaderofstars said, grabbing a few candies and wrappers.
“Hey stop that. You don't know what your doing.” Bon Bon wasn't happy that this human was messing with her work.
“Whats there to know, just put the candy in middle of the wrapper then twist and turn.... viola.” He held up a wrapped candy that was on par with the quality that Bon Bon set her wrapped candies to.
“That’s incredible I had to practice for a year before making them look that good and here you do it within 3 seconds.”
“It's my fingers, they give me the dexterity to handle this kind of problem with ease.” he said wrapping up some more candies with the kind of ease that 10 human digits could bring.
“You keep doing that I have more candies to make.” Bon Bon said running back into the kitchen amidst the clatter of pots and pans. It was a clockwork scene: Bon Bon would make the candies and leaderofstars would wrapped them up. This went on and on for a few hours until Lyra come back home.
“Bon Bon!” Lyra seemed angry. “I thought we agreed that I would earn more bits to pay for him staying here.”
leaderofstars kept on wrapping candies, tossing them into the very full buckets.
“Oh Lyra, I know but he's already paid for himself by helping wrap all those.” She pointed towards the buckets with her hoof.
Lyra launched into a rant about Bon Bon going behind her back and guilt-tripping the human into helping her with her job of wrapping candies. Bon Bon tried to explain that the human helped of his own free will but Lyra would have not of it. Her anger getting the getting the best of her, she attempted to throw one of the buckets around but was stopped by the human placing his hand over the bucket and keeping it still.
“Lyra, I helped Bon Bon with her task because I had nothing better to do at the time.” he yawned, the adrenaline having finally run it's course though his body, “And now I’m taking a nap, don't mess with my hair.” he walked over to the couch and laid down on his back.
Lyra and Bon Bon just looked at each other, with a hint of sadness in their eyes. They gave each other a long passionate kiss that ended with a bit of saliva reaching from both of their mouths. Their little moment didn't go unnoticed by the human who was keeping a eye open, just looking at the two lovebirds. He watched the two ponies walked out of the room and go beyond his field of vision.  What a nice couple. He thought as he closed his eye and felt the sandman throw his sleeping sand in his eye.

Author notes
and after two weeks and some days this chapter is done.
I've just learned that the sun in Equestria moves across the sky. Whoops. I guess I could chalk that plot hole to jet lag since I’m sure that his internal clock tells him that it's something different.
I’m hoping I’m getting personalities right.


And because I felt like it here’s a bio page

Name: Poncho “leaderofstars” Taylor
Species: human (infused with nanobots)
Age: stopped counting after his 100th birthday
Personality: weathered indifference, suppressed rage/sexual urges/emotions, alcoholic,
Hobbys: surviving, killing/eating creatures that try to to kill him
Things he loves to do: not feeling useless
Goal in life: revenge! maybe perhaps after that maybe some death 
Favorite Food: anything made with chicken, pork or beef
Past Story: joined the army when home-world came under attack, volunteered for experimental nanobot injection, survived event that wiped out the rest of humanity, survived though ice age, then was defeated by god-like entity that exterminated humanity, now finds himself in the land of Equestria
Equipment: backpack with built in replicator (power supply nearly drained), nearly white jacket with Kevlar stuffing, glasses swiped off of a lens crafters rack, hiking boots, blue denim jeans, shirt, miscellaneous ammunition, and 3 days supply of foodstuffs

Primary Weapons (ranged): RPD light machine rifle (held in reserve) modified with a stronger, better, longer barrel, 
.177 bolt action air rifle (held in reserve) modified with more powerful co2 tank and x10 scope(and he lost the damn scope)
Secondary Weapons (ranged): 9 mm HK VP70 unmodified (held in reserve), 9 mm Beretta 92a1 (equipped) modified with a reinforced barrel to better handle +p rounds 
Tertiary weapons: twin machetes (lost), combat knife (given to Fluttershy), crowbar (held in reserve)
Special power(s): body is immune to all magics, enhanced healing factor/endurance granted by nanobots
Weakness: immune to healing magics, nanobots are not immune to high levels of magic, soul/mind affected by certain spells
Traits: magic slowly build ups inside of him reducing the effectiveness of the nanobots before shutting them down, nanobots break down lactic acid as it forms in his muscles/ deal with annoying bacteria and viruses before immune system has a chance to react.

dammit why does this site not like my special formatting marks

all comments are welcome
if you have a question or idea on how I can improve on this... thing hit me up via the inter-user mail system I’ll always respond.

If you send me hate-mail expect me not to take it seriously . Hate mail amuses me so.

also this is my reaction when people track this thing: "holy crap people actually read this crap i make?"
then i look at the likes/dislikes: "eh seems about right"
> i feel sorry for who ever owned that tree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ch6

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. 
Alex Haley 

The sun was setting over the land of Equestria, and a dark blue alicorn had awoken from her slumber a little earlier then normal. She wanted to ask her older sister a question regrading the creature that now lives in Ponyville.
“Dear sister.” Princess Celestia looked up towards her little sister who had just walked into her room. “Are you sure letting the creature known as Poncho live in our world was a good idea?”
“Oh, Luna. Yes I’m sure. He may be a creature of warfare, violence and death but he proved his willingness to protect the lives of others.”
“Have you sensed the evil within him? Even from here I can feel his evil like a beacon in the night. I don't feel that letting him stay will do any of us any good. He needs to be send away, back to where he belongs.”
“And to where? His old home is a frozen wasteland and it's not like he's done anything to raise suspicion. This isn't like when I banished you and nightmare moon, he's not trying to take over the land, he's just looking for a place to call home.”
“He's a threat Tia. How could you not see that? There is far too much evil in his heart for him to even hope to resist.”
“Why then did he put his life on the line to help protect the citizens of Ponyville? There is something powerful within him. This power, what ever it is, guides his actions and his motives. He claims it's the result of his upbringing, but it is far older then his father. It is something that has guided his species since they first walked their home-world, and gave them the strength needed to continue living after times of crises.”
“I still feel that allowing him to stay here is a mistake. He is-”
“He reminds you of when you decided to become one with Nightmare Moon. The evil that resides within him troubles you, like it could attempt to take him over. But his soul, it speaks volumes of a one that just needs a reason to keep on living. Just trust in your big sister's decision.”
Luna scoffed and had nearly walked out of Celestia's room when she turned around, one last question on her mind. “Why are you trying to get me to court him?”
“I just think the two of you would make such a cute couple. Also because I’ve heard that he could build a machine that could reach the moon. Won't that be romantic?” Celestia had some tears in her eyes. “The moon princess and her lover together on the moon.”
Luna just looked at her sister with a face of disbelief, before walking out of her room to her throne room for a long and lonely night running the night court.

“Twilight, it's late, think you can go to bed early today for once?”
“No Spike. I’m busy selecting books I’m sure leaderofstars would like to read to better understand our culture. oh... a once in a lifetime chance to learn about a dead culture from the only pony... err... human that has first-hoof knowledge of it. Oh I’ll be famous with my books on his culture, technology and customs.”
“Great. Can I sleep now?” Spike was just about to collapse on his bed.
“Go on Spike. I’ll catch up later after I plan out at which points to share our two cultures.”
Spike was already fallen asleep before Twilight finished talking. He was used to Twilight staying up all night studying something or another. It was just another day living with Twilight and her constant need to know everything. Spike knew he better get plenty of sleep tonight, because tomorrow would be filled with dealing with that hue-man. He drifted off to sleep, with visions of his love Rarity dancing in his head.
Twilight stayed up for a few more hours planning out the learning experience, down to the seconds that it would take to pull a book off the shelf and show it to him, that she was sure to receive from leaderofstars or Poncho whatever he decides to call himself in the morning. She wanted everything to be perfect, organized and ready for a long day of knowledge. After all it's not everyday one get to learn about a dead culture from one who has first-hoof knowledge of that culture.

Pinkie Pie was finishing up the last of the invitations for the party she wanted to throw the next day. Rolling over on her bed, she thought back to what she had heard on her way back to Sugarcube Corner. She had heard the whispers of the other ponies taking about the horrors the human had supposedly done ranging from murder to turning some unknown pony into lunch. Even her employers Mr and Mrs. Cake had gone out and said to her that the human was not allowed inside Sugarcube Corner. 
All this misplaced fear and animosity the town was directing towards him, just because he openly ate some meat. The ponies were only focusing on his bad traits not the good deeds he had done for the town. He ate meat sure, but he did save the Cutie Mark Crusaders from the timber wolves. 
She turned to look at her pet Gummy, who was busy eating one of his special cupcakes she had made just for him. If she started to hate on leaderofstars because he ate meat, then she would have no other choice then to give Gummy away since he has to eat special cupcakes make with ground up rainbow trout, bugs and worms. 
Most ponies never took a second glance at Gummy, never knowing that the little guy had to eat meat because that all that alligators like him could eat. She sighed, knowing full well that if she invited the hue-man not a whole lot of ponies were going to come to her party. She gently petted Gummy's head, his mouth covered with frosting, and fell asleep.

It was bedtime for Fluttershy, but she was busy cleaning the knife leaderofstars gave her. When she had unsheathed it when she got back home, she nearly dropped it out of fear. The blade was covered in dried blood. No matter how hard she tried, she could not clean the blood off of the blade. The blood was permanently stuck there, giving the blade a red and evil feel to it. She shuttered to think what it was used for originally, with the pits and rust stains showing that it had been in use for a really long time. The longer she looked at the blade, the more she saw a terrible monster staring back. The monster's piercing eyes stared into her eyes, and it cracked a smile exposing part of its crooked, jagged and broken teeth. 
She shuttered, blinking and shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind of what she had just saw. When she slowly turned back to the reflection on the blade it was, not the monster she had seen a few seconds earlier, but herself slightly obscured by rust and pits. She sighed, sheathing the blade and closing the clasp securing the handle to the sheath. She understood that he only killed animals to survive in his old world, but she didn't want him to continue his old lifestyle here. She understood that he was different then everypony, but still couldn't believe there wasn't another way for him to survive.  She thought to herself, blowing out the single candle she had out and walking to her bed, that the hue-man just needs to come to terms with who he's living with and adjust accordingly.

“Doctor Cane, the test results are in.” Nurse Redheart told the light gray earth pony, who awoken from his nap in a daze.
“Mmm...oh... thanks.” Cane grabbed the papers from the nurse then sat back down to review the results. After what happened yesterday with the wolves, the testing of the hue-mans' blood and tissue samples had been bumped down to deal with any injuries and potential infections brought on by the wolves. 
As he looked the report over, the thing that jumped out at him the most was that all of the samples contained some kind of organic-metal fragments. Every single one had been checked, doubled checked, and triple checked to ensure no mistake had been made. And according to the report there was currently metal fragments floating around in the hue-man's body. 
Reading further down the report, the doctors in charge of the blood samples noted a complete lack of white blood cells, as well as a complete lack of diseases that would be found within normal blood. It was as if something else was keeping him safe from the contaminants of the outside world. It was all the same with the rest of the samples, all containing tiny metal fragments and no diseases of any kind to be found anywhere.
Sitting back on his hunches, Doctor Cane thought back to what the hue-man had said when he talked to him: “you don't know anything about human anatomy.”
“hrmmp, I may not know much about your body leaderofstars, but I do know that chunks of metal isn't good for your health no matter who you are. But its the lack of diseases and white blood cells that is most disturbing.” He shuffled through the papers, “If you ever get a infection, you'll never survive it. Hmm... we may need to take a bone marrow sample, and quarantine him within the hospital to keep him safe.”

Sitting in a clearing of leaf-less trees, a white robed figure watched the collection of timber wolves as they would walk around the trees seemingly ignoring the intruder.  The intruder could not be seen, heard or sensed in anyway possible unless he wanted to be.
“Those wolves are completely pathetic. They lack the killer instinct needed to help him along, even with my help encouraging them.” He got up, his scythe and scales floating around him. “I need to find a more dangerous entity to help him.”
Walking out of the clearing, he looked at the trees. They looked dead, but he could tell they were still alive. The magic of this world kept the trees alive, even when they were asleep. The figure turned away and walked towards a distance castle.


I awoke several hours after having fell asleep, my dreams filled with waterfalls and babbling brooks. As I tried to understand what such dreams were supposed to mean, I was struck with the desire to relieve myself. Fuck, I hate it when I have go take a leak. It wouldn't be much of as problem, if the nanobots just let me have a normal urinary system. But no, my urine only gets enough water to be considered liquid and be passed out of my system, by that I means that it's has way more chlorine in it then normal human urine. That makes it burns on the way out, in every way possible. 
I got up, dreading the moment that was to pass, the pain would be excruciating as would the smell. Maybe I shouldn't fill my host's bathroom with the smell of chlorine and burnt human flesh. I take a look outside, the moon hanging low in the sky. Dawn comes soon, but for right now everyone's still asleep. Good, wouldn't be right to see a full grown man screaming in agony over taking a leak.
Walking out of the house and avoiding the door frame, I turned around to find the perfect spot to conclude my business. That tree looked as good as place as any, firm support, tough bark and open air. Walking up to the tree, I mentally prepared myself for the pain as I grabbed a branch and dropped my pants. 
The pain that I felt I would only curse to one, and he deserved it. If I looked down at my phallus I was sure I would see smoke, because I sure smell it. I’m not sure how my bladder could hold this acid for so long, the nanobots must have reinforced that organ. My thoughts turned from subject to subject, just to distract myself from the pain as I stood there, the branch I that was griping was making crunching noises under my ironclad grip.
Finally the pain stopped and I rested my head on the tree, which had some of it's bark stripped off. I waited for a few minutes so the damn thing could heal and air out the smell. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked up and towards the sky. This world's moon looks so very much like the one back home, right down to the star placement being nearly identical to the stars back home. Weird. 
Releasing my grip on the branch, which fell to the ground, I pulled up my pants and took a few steps back. I kinda hope no one notices how bad the tree looks, and that the horrible smell goes away soon. I find this problem with my body much worse then my diet. I can't feel anything down there, the urine having shot my nerves down there to hell. Maybe if I drank more water then my urine wouldn't so acidity. Ehh I’ll do that later, around morning or so.

The next morning was filled with the lack luster antics of Lyra being herself much to the displeasure of her housemates. Bon Bon was busy making a breakfast that consisted of chocolate chip pancakes, while the human was busy going though the package he had received yesterday. The package held two missing drums of 7.62mm rounds, his leather harness, a large sack of coins and a note written in English and some kind of pictogram language. 
The damn letter said that he could not hold any land within the Everfree forest because he is not a citizen of Equestria. But because he did offer up valuable technology, he was compensated a sizable sum of money for what he offered up. If he wanted more 'bits' (must be what the currency around here is called) then he could always sell some more of his technology for study. However because hunting licenses don't really work with herbivores, he was free to hunt and fish within the Everfree forest to his hearts content.

The smell of deliciousness filled the small house, as Bon Bon finished making a big batch of pancakes for her housemates. No one drooled more the the human as he eyed the stack like a tiger would eye a quick and easy meal. And who could blame him since he hasn't had such a big meal ever since arriving here five days ago. He grabbed nearly half of the stack and started shoving them down his throat, determined to eat them all in one go. 
After a few minutes of trying, he finally managed to swallow the last of the pancakes, with a huge breath of air. He sat back on the couch, content with his full stomach while Lyra and Bon Bon just stared at him.
“So was it good?”
“Indeed.” He let out a single burp. “My compliments to the chef.”
Lyra and Bon Bon turned back to their meals, while leaderofstars grabbed the pouch of coins and spilling the contents on to the coffee table. He sorted the coins around into little piles of similar materials, then into a single stack, then into a pyramid and finally tried balancing the coins end-over-end.  
By the time his house mates had finished their breakfast and walked over to the table, leaderofstars had managed to only get three coins balancing perfectly. Bon Bon just looked at all the coins on the table, as the total began piling up in her head.
leaderofstars noticed Bon Bon's staring contest with his new coins. “So, how rich am I then Mrs. Bon Bon?”

After a few minutes of explaining the denominations to him leaderofstars jumped out of Bon Bon's house with a huge smile on his face. He was rich, rich enough to have just given Bon Bon and Lyra each one of the highest denominations in the pouch. He was off to go find town hall to see if any properties are available. 
Now that he could purchase and own a home, he could begin the process of shedding off his nomad lifestyle. While it could never truly replace his old home, he doubted that he should return. The  buildings would crumble, the animals would have evolved in new, expected ways and hopefully new sentient life would emerge to start new civilizations just as humanity had done. 
He thought of asking the princess to sent him back in a few thousand years but then he'll have to deal with a whole new set of problems, the complete lack of beer, the responsibility of leading a new civilization and the fact that the food sources would possibly be completely different. Eh, living here will be a whole lot better living here, once I get settled and start brewing up some delicious ales.



author notes
god this is getting really hard.
instead of dealing with each chapter as it comes up in my head i'm already 5 chapters ahead, and trying to force myself to stay with the story is pissing me off.
still I've worked on this thing longer then my other projects. a somewhat decent achievement.
does anyone even read this? i know 22 people cared enough to rate but i feel like people just glance over this.

comments would be nice.