Twilight Sparkle is asked to travel to the dimension of the setting of Portal and Portal 2: Aperture Sciences Labratories. GLaDOS wants to test her to see if she really is adept at puzzle-solving and if Twilight can actually teach her something about friendship. When Twilight arrives, she becomes human, and must survive the 19 test chambers, with the promise of cake. But she is aware of the dangers ahead, and the one question that really haunts her is, is the cake a lie?
Princess Celestia had received a letter from an A.I. robot known as GLaDOS from Aperture Science in a completely different dimension:
"Dear Princess Celestia, I have learned a lot about friendship. I was taught its kindness, honesty, generosity... "
After reading GLaDOS’ letter, Celestia turned to Luna, looking mildly annoyed. “She says she doesn’t need friendship.” Luna just shrugged. “Maybe she doesn’t. She’s been killing test subjects for years…“
Celestia shook her head. “She said she’s a cold, heartless robot. If so, maybe we convince what the pros of friendship are, and maybe she’ll think twice about killing her test subjects.” She rose from her throne and descended to the window. “I think Twilight should go and become her test subject.”
Luna looked doubtful. “Twilight? Can she handle GLaDOS’ wrath?” She looked at the letter. “It says she’ll even bake a cake for her. But GLaDOS is known for aggravating, manipulating, and degrading her test subjects before killing them. Can Twilight deal with all that without snapping?”
Her sister remained to stare out the window. “I think so. She’s been through a lot. And, now that she’s a princess, she’ll be twice as wise and careful.” She turned and looked at her sister. “And plus, Twilight can handle herself. Besides…” she said with a laugh, “She tries too hard to impress me. I tell her just to do her best, but for her, that’s not good enough. A determined and brilliant mare such as her can deal with GLaDOS. “ Luna looked out the window as well. “I sure hope you are right…”
Twilight Sparkle had been informed of her task. She felt slightly nervous, but slightly excited. A chance to travel to another dimension and solve puzzles? With limited objects and enemies? Sounded like her dream come true-this was better than the everyday crossword puzzles, Sudoku, or even Chess. She found out when Celestia sent a letter to her- first bursting out like green fire out of Spike’s mouth, then becoming a golden-laced scroll which she had laid on her desk to read. The letter was short but clear: Twilight had to go to another dimension, go through a series of tests involving portals and deadly lasers, while trying to keep a mad computer from killing her while also teaching her the magic of friendship.
Easy enough.
Twilight went ahead and said good-bye to her friends. She hugged them all and they all had wished her luck, and they also came to see her off at the train station. All of them were crying, Pinkie crying the most. Twilight assured them all she would arrive home safe and sound, with no worries. After she boarded the train, she took notes on what enemies and challenges she’d have to face: • Lasers. • Deadly Energy Balls. • Turrets. • Pools of Toxic Waste. • An enormous homicidal supercomputer.
She also noted that she would be given multiple cubes and a portal gun to help her solve the puzzles. When she finally made it to Canterlot, she made her way to the castle, nodding at each of the guards along the way, and thanking them for wishing her luck. She passed by Shining Armor and Cadence, and hugged them both-because both were crying for her and told her they loved her. She assured them she would be fine and arrive home safe and sound. When she left them, she finally arrived at the door to the throne room.
As she walked in the door to the throne room, she couldn’t help but feel excitement. Celestia and Luna turned to face her, both had expressionless faces. Neither one was completely sure of what was to come once Twilight arrived at Aperture. In the meantime, however, it was probably best not to think the worst. Both greeted her fondly. “Well, Twilight, are you ready for your journey?” asked Celestia. Twilight took a deep breath. “Yes,” she responded with as much confidence as she had. “I am ready.”
Celestia handed her a knapsack. “These are the clothes and supplies you’ll need once you get there. The tools and testing equipment will be provided by her,” she explained. Twilight peeked in the sack to find some items: • An orange jumpsuit. • Bottles of water. • Several bags of trail mix: cereal, candy, peanuts, and marshmallows. • And a book entitled “Guide to Portals” written by a scientist from Aperture.
Twilight put on the knapsack; nodded to Celestia she was ready. Golden light and bluish-black magic erupted from the sisters’ horns and they formed an enormous white portal. Twilight took a deep breath, said her goodbyes to her mentor and her sister, and finally climbed through the portal.
Twilight opened her eyes. She felt completely different, like Rarity had just given her a makeover. She looked down at her legs, which were longer and she had feet instead of hooves. She realized she’d become human. She was tall and slender with milky peach skin, wearing a purple turtleneck, a dark skirt, with purple and pink striped socks running up to her knees and dark violet Mary Jane’s. Her hair was exactly like her mane, her lavender horn still present. Her wings evolved into a wing pattern tattoo on her back.
She smiled, and let out a little laugh. ‘This should be interesting,’ she thought as she studied the room around her. It was a chamber to house test subjects. A toilet sat behind her. A radio and a cup of coffee were waiting for her on top of a small table. She looked underneath the table to find some high-falling boots. She pulled out the orange jumpsuit and stripped to her underwear. After getting into the jumpsuit, she removed her shoes and socks and stuck her feet in the boots. She looked at the coffee and picked it up. She took only a sip before spitting it out, realizing it was cold. She accidently dropped the mug on the floor, shattering ceramic pieces and on the clean tile. She picked them up and rested them on the table, shortly afterwards mopping the tile with her sleeve. Twilight went ahead and used the toilet, realizing she forgot to go before she left Equestria.
GLaDOS finally made her appearance online-“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to the Aperture Science Center. I hope you are prepared to start testing.” Twilight looked around for any pony, but only found a camera staring at her. GLaDOS let out a gentle laugh. “Yes, I see you. No, I don’t care if you see me. What matters is we focus here on science. Please step through the portal and we can start your testing.” Twilight stepped through the portal that shot out of nowhere and made her way into the first test chamber. The chamber was empty with just a button and a cube. “I will not tell you how to solve these puzzles, because I think they are too easy for you. If you think you are really that smart, then try solving this puzzle without the Aperture Science weighted cube. OR better yet, try solving this puzzle backwards. Good luck, and may friendship be with you.” GLaDOS’ voice rang out through the entire chamber.
Twilight finished the test chamber in the time Rainbow Dash would’ve declared, “Ten seconds flat.” She walked through the Emancipation Grid and into the elevator, prepared for GLaDOS to attempt to grill her with insults. “Impressive. You really did come through that time. Maybe friendship is really beneficial in testing after all. We’ll see in the next chamber. You will now receive your portal device because I feel ‘generous’.”
Twilight stepped out of the elevator and found herself in a large white room with a full portal device dead center. She made her way over to it and tried it out. After several minutes of goofing off with it, she focused on the puzzle at hand. She looked up and found a cube sitting on a small platform surrounded by white walls. On the other side of the room was the big red button next to the exit that was up a high ledge.
Twilight fired the blue portal up next to the cube. She placed the orange portal right next to her and walked right through. She then picked up the cube and jumped off the platform. Her high fall boots prevented her from breaking her legs or back. She portal-ed over to the big red button and placed the cube on it. The door immediately opened. “Well done, Miss Sparkle. You’ve really outdone yourself. You cannot seem to help but do more than your best. Yes, I’ve read your file. Hmmm…how odd. You have had no friends before, now you have more than plenty. Who says you might ever see your friends again? Then you’ll be all alone…”
GLaDOS studied Twilight through the cameras as Twilight continued to test, occasionally she would stop and talk to herself while making notes in her notebook. She was smart, GLaDOS could not deny that. But Twilight was trying to convince her about friendship. GLaDOS was unsure if she could actually feel the ability to feel anything warm and friendly, at least not since Chell’s departure. She did miss Chell, but refused to admit it. She even refused to delete her from her memory banks. She was also unsure completely of why Chell had felt so important to her. She felt so…empty…
Twilight finally made it to Test Chamber 5. GLaDOS promptly spoke as Twilight entered through the door. “I must warn you; this test is incredibly dangerous if you do not appropriate friendship into it. I remember a core that failed to use friendship. I just thought you might like to know that. Guess where he is now? The moon, where Celestia sent her own sister. And you are still her student.” Twilight listened to her first sentence but ignored the rest. She did not need to listen to insults about her or her mentor.
She looked around, and sure enough, she heard the little turrets asking if someone was there. Twilight smiled, because she knew how to handle the little guys. She had taken notes on the physics of a turret and its general makeup; including its weaknesses and strengths. She knew a turret could be taken out by being picked up and then dropped, or simply just knocked over. Or even thrust through portals.
She looked around the corner, and the turrets chirruped lines like, “Are you still there?” “Hello?” They sounded so cute, that it made Twilight sad to hurt them in any fashion. She looked around where they were- guarding a button for a cube dispenser. There were six of them, each in separate “cubicles” nearby the button. She portal-ed herself to one, slipping behind it. She immediately picked it up.
In a mechanical panic, the turret uttered a cry for help. Twilight had already set her portal to go to another turret, and quickly slammed their little white bodies together. Both turrets went down in a hail of bullets. “No…hard…feelings…” Twilight made her way to another turret. “Who ARE you?!” the turret exclaimed as she picked it up from behind and dropped it on another. Bullets and mechanical screaming still commenced. “I don’t hate you…”
Once she disposed of the last pair of turrets, she pushed the button to release a cube from the cube dispenser. She then portal-ed herself, and the cube, to the big button on the floor. The big door opened. Twilight finally walked through, but to her surprise GLaDOS spoke without any form of malice.
“I am, or rather, was Caroline. I was the assistant to the CEO of this facility, Mr. Cave Johnson. And all my life, I’ve only seen two great test subjects. One of them is you, but you are nothing like the other test subject. Nothing like her at all…” The elevator opened to a small hotel-like bedroom. A refrigerator, television, and radio were all available and functional. A closet and small bathroom with soap and shampoo was also available, too. Twilight rested her bag on a small chair right next to the bed. She went in the bathroom, stripped, and showered; but she put on the clothes she had on before- the testing clothes. She looked up at a camera right next to the bed. “I see you. No, I really don’t care, and you must rest before you continue testing. Sleep well.”
Twilight threw herself on the bed and sighed. It was a long journey until testing was complete. She curled up in the machine-washed covers and fell asleep.
Twilight awoke to mechanical humming. The door to the elevator to the next chest chamber opened. “Good. You are awake.” GLaDOS’s monotone voice spoke over the loud speaker. “I almost thought you died from the exposure to the testing rooms. Oh, well. Advance to the next test chamber. Please, do not cheat.”
Twilight sensed what was to come would be difficult. Test Chamber Six had turrets, firing energy balls, and a toxic waste pool. The pool was right in front of her, its smelly green liquid oozing its toxins and deadly chemicals. An energy ball soared over her head, its target to activate the exit was inaccessible, but she portal-ed the ball to hit the target, first letting it bounce off a couple of walls beforehand. A bridge opened over the toxic pool, but the real threat was still there. At the exit, the turrets were scattered like stars in a constellation. Using portals, she took out the turrets, hearing their critical error messages.
Twilight had finished the test in ten minutes, studying and taking notes for all parts of it, and analyzing the physics that was part of the test.
And, as an added bonus, she found an excuse to throw turrets to their demise-into the toxic pool or into the Emancipation Grid. All of their mechanical cries meant nothing to her now. They were not living beings; they were just toys of GLaDOS. By Test Chamber Seven, though, GLaDOS had something surprising to say: “This test is impossible. Friendship cannot help you in any way here. I have failed to make this test in any manner possible; so please do not attempt. Doing so may cause: irritation, paranoia, rash, and severe suicidal tendencies.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and, just to be as obnoxious as possible, took out the cameras with her portal gun. GLaDOS expressed her annoyance immediately: “Disabling cameras. That was not an element of friendship. Please don’t do that in the future. Rest assured, I can STILL see you.”
Twilight finished the test chamber in six minutes. (It was pretty much the test chamber Chell had to face, with the Emancipation Grid and all.) GLaDOS “congratulated” her: “Good, Miss Sparkle. Impossibility is never possible in Aperture Laboratories. Staying perseverant with possibilities is key. Like replacing blood with gasoline or sticking a personality core into a potato.” To Twilight, what she said sounded like a deranged paradox-type riddle.
Test Chamber Eight really did seem impossible, more so than Seven. Turrets guarded the door and the cube dispenser. Hardly any white surfaces were available for portals. Twilight gritted her teeth. ‘Fantastic,’ she thought and looked where she could actually PUT a portal. One was above the turrets near the locked exit. Another was right next to her. And a third surface was underneath the turrets near the cube dispenser. Twilight then got a crazy idea. She fired the blue portal above the turrets near the door. Then, she fired the orange portal underneath the other set of turrets. Bullets and turrets flew out of the blue portal and onto their little friends. “Don’t shoot!” “Hey! It’s me!” All of the turrets went down firing at the same time.
Twilight dispensed a cube and placed it on the button. “Did you know that test subjects who are homesick generally break down to tender music?” As of right on cue, an orchestra of soft-sounding violins and pianos played a somber tune. When it went off, GLaDOS apologized for it, claiming she did not know why it went off. It didn’t phase Twilight one bit.
The elevator took Twilight to Test Chamber Nine. More turrets were laid around the large track. Twilight noticed some high platforms over a toxic pool. Nearby her was a long pit with a white floor; a portal surface. She got excited when she realized it was a momentum puzzle. Leaping from portal to portal, Twilight finally came to the source of the turrets. The bullet-filled tin cans stood right by the exit, around a button, as she looked through the glass panes. She spotted a cube right next to her. She picked it up and fired portals on the white ceiling, for the cube to fall onto the turrets. None of them were prepared for a cube to land on their heads, so they all went down firing until they shut down. “I just read your file. Apparently you have an IQ level greater than the stupidest test subject on record. Don’t look so proud.”
Twilight didn’t feel proud. She felt relieved because she knew of far greater insults the A.I. could use on her.
Her high fall boots clacked on the smooth black floor as she advanced into the next test chamber. Ten started out to be a sequence of stairs, leading to an enormous white room. The room was completely bare, except for another door, a cube dispenser, and a button. A set of wall panels nearby stuck out like a sore thumb. Twilight frowned and walked over to them, peeking behind them. Black wires and metal frames were entangled in a fiery blood red environment. Paints and broken paintbrushes were all over the floor behind the wall. She could hear the metal gear-works of Aperture working beyond the black doom environment. She turned her head to face exactly the behind of the panels.
Her heart stopped. She really shouldn’t have been surprised, but the message was abundantly clear and it terrified her: “The cake is a lie.”She scoffed. It wasn’t a surprise at all. Not to her, at least; she’d heard from Celestia that GLaDOS might promise cake, but it may be a lie. Then again, the message looked incredibly old. But what really surprised her was a portrait of a young woman next to it.
The portrait’s dark ponytail had fallen onto her shoulders, which were covered by the orange fabric of the testing jumpsuit. Her white eyelids were closed calmly onto her pale features, acting as curtains for her eyes. She was incredibly beautiful, an angel in an orange jumpsuit, so to speak. Twilight smiled at it, before walking away. ‘She must be important enough for someone to paint her face on a wall panel. I wonder who she is.’
The test she had was just the one in the first test chamber all over again. But this time, there were glass panes surrounding where the cube would fall, but there were gaps between each panel, just enough for Twilight to shoot a portal through the gap, so the cube would fall right through the portal and into the portal near her.
She picked up the cube and once again, placed it on the button, which was on the other side of the testing chamber. She waltzed through the door, reading the Guide to Portals book she was given.
GLaDOS was prepared to zing her with more insults. “Let’s read the test results. ‘You are sad and lonely. Nobody likes you. All you care about is books. Books, books, and more books. You are also ugly.’ Oh, that’s pathetic. What do these test observing old fogeys know about loneliness? Oh, wait. I observe the tests. And that was MY conclusion for this one.” Twilight tensed at the harsh adjectives used against her. But she continued to advance into Chamber 11, more determined to show GLaDOS the true Twilight, the girl willing to sacrifice for her friends, family, and her country. The unicorn with intelligence and powerful magic. The geek who had a book, or could write a book, about anything and everything. She was all of that, and maybe more; but she definitely was not sad. Or lonely, or even ugly. ‘Just have to survive eight or so more chambers,’ Twilight thought to herself.
Eleven was not what she had expected. It was literally a labyrinth of white and black walls, that stretched out probably more than a couple of miles. She heard turrets in the distance. Twilight immediately knew this was a test of thought and contemplation as well as chance. The great chance she could die.
She looked towards the end of the maze, where the common sliding door was, with a big red button, again, sat right by it. Twilight realized there was a white wall on the left side of her, and a white wall right next to the exit door. She placed her shimmering portals on each wall. Once she hit the other side, she found a cube RIGHT next to the button. Twilight rolled her eyes. The maze was nothing more than a distraction. Test subjects did NOT have to go through the maze at all in the first place. Twilight rested the cube on the button and advanced. “Incredible! You abstained from the painfully obvious and took the quick, easy, and painless route. Now move on to the next chamber!”
The elevator came to a stop at Test Chamber 12. Twilight observed the testing chamber, which was nothing more than endless white surfaces and numerous toxic pools of smelly sludge. Platforms stacked towards the ceiling, making up the only direction to go. Twilight shot portals on white walls and platforms, careful not to fall in the…goop. She finished in twenty minutes. (Same test chamber from Portal)
GLaDOS got right on her. “Did you know we dump corpses in that toxic liquid? It disintegrates the major organs, skin, and skeleton. It’s easy to clean up bodies from these test chambers. Hopefully, for your sake, you won’t die.”
Twilight made her way into the next test chamber. Test Chamber 13 was cold and much like the previous chamber, but with more toxic sludge. As if that wasn’t enough, turrets were scattered on high-raised platforms standing in the sludge. Twilight aimed and fired her portal gun at a nearby energy ball in order to send energy balls right at the turrets. Each one was struck by the blazing ball, and all of them fell into the toxic sludge. Twilight smirked at the thought of them ascending into android hell.
She finished the puzzle, having to struggle to get the energy ball into the target; especially with the sliding glass doors blocking it. That took her twenty-two minutes. Twilight advanced into the elevator. The elevator creaked and groaned as it made its way to the next test chamber. Twilight was bored.
‘Way too many puzzles, not enough excitement,’ she thought. ‘And that’s odd for me, because I love puzzles.’ Twilight decided to cure her boredom through investigation. She was going to investigate EVERYTHING about Aperture Science, and write a research paper. Just the thought of it made her squee with excitement. GLaDOS finally spoke since Test Chamber 12. “Once you finish this test, and its ‘friends’ then you will be thanked. And then we will have cake.”
Something was wrong.
Twilight knew the moment GLaDOS said that line and the fact Test Chamber 14’s sign actually said “Test Chamber 16,” that something was wrong. Maybe GLaDOS was rushing to finish testing? That didn’t sound like her. Nonetheless, Twilight was determined to do her research. Once the elevator made it to “Test Chamber 16,” she walked off it and made her way to a broken wall panel, with a space big enough to squeeze through to the maintenance sections of Aperture. She slipped in through the gap, nearly breaking her ankle in the process. She walked on the iron walkway to a set of stairs that lead to a set of small offices. The offices were obviously deserted and damaged; there were no scientists of any sort inside and there was broken equipment rusting on decks, musty office supplies scattered all over the floor, and mold caked on the walls.
Celestia’s student studied the environment. She made her way to the only working computer, and without any thought, she began to press keys on the broken keyboard, aching for information. The keyboard was only missing its number pad, which made it easy for Twilight to use the Aperture search engine. She typed “GLaDOS” in the search bar and hit “enter.” Documents surrounding the GLaDOS Project came up: blueprints, scientists’ notes, and death records.
Twilight frowned. “Death records?” she said to herself. “Who died during the installation of an artificial intelligence computer?” The Element of Magic clicked on the death record folder, pulling up hundreds of the death records of scientists; though one stood out. Twilight clicked on the earliest recorded death, which was of a woman:
**APERTURE SCIENCE DEATH RECORDS** *We are not responsible for the deaths of employees, test subjects, or family members in any case. Each individual has signed a waiver saying they cannot sue Aperture Science Laboratories in any case of injury or death. Remember: if you died during testing, you did it for science.*
NAME: Caroline <REDACTED>
Twilight tensed. ‘Wasn’t that the name of the woman GLaDOS mentioned she was before…?’ The unicorn-girl kept reading.
AGE: 58 MARITAL STATUS: <REDACTED> FAMILY STATUS: <REDACTED> OCCUPATION: Aperture CEO, successor to Cave Johnson
The hair on the back of Twilight’s neck stood on end when she read the cause of death.
CAUSE OF DEATH: Given immortality. Served as base for GLaDOS Project, read File 82-CJLR for details.
“They forced Caroline to be GLaDOs?!” Twilight was mortified. “That poor woman! Unless she actually consented, of course; but still! No-pony , or human, should be forced to be a computer.” Twilight had something she could use for her research paper, but it was only a name and it was who served as the brain and personality for GLaDOS. Other than that, Twilight still had questions: Who was Caroline? Who was Cave Johnson? Why was Caroline chosen for the GLaDOS project? Who was the girl in the painting downstairs? How is she significant to Aperture?
Twilight knewshe was going to have to wait until later. In the meantime, she still had to satisfy GLaDOS, and needed to somehow teach her what friendship really meant. “But how?” she asked herself.