You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Apple of My Eye

Oooh! Twilight's jealous! All her friends have found their love but Twilight. But no thanks, she'll stick to reading spells.

On a day trip to meeting Princess Celestia, she spies a handsome boy so called "Moon Swift" walking by in a royal tuxedo. Finding out he's Trixie's older brother (Not True!) , she insists she has no chance to capture his love.

~DR
I'm going to give it a try.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Mard93

Mard93 #1 · Feb 9th, 2012 · · ·

Some pacing problems here and there, and feels rushed a lil
Still with a lil more pacing is a good start.

DeadlyRose

DeadlyRose #2 · Feb 9th, 2012 · · ·

Yeah I did rush a bit, thanx Mard. I'll work on that. I did this way over my sleepy time lol

"Yay. Oops. Too loud?"

DeadlyRose

DeadlyRose #3 · Feb 9th, 2012 · · ·

Attention all pony viewers- please favorite or watch me to get the newest exclusive stories! I will be making mini-bits too; (short, funnier versions of stories).

Scratch that. Brony-bits, isn't it better?

PLEASE READ

We're doing awesome things and my whole team too. Request a story on my blog, send it, and the wish is yours. I'm really running out of ideas, since everyone in fimfiction is stealing them lol- so any ideas, any character ideas, and sometimes, even contests: which you get to be one of my OC models or make your own OC and be able to send it to me. (Make them really special.)

I'm also making a new movie - "Twilight" Sparkle

OminousBrony

OminousBrony #4 · Feb 9th, 2012 · · ·

Yeah. This definitely needs work in the pacing department.

DeadlyRose

DeadlyRose #5 · Jul 27th, 2017 · · ·

203719
Looking back at these as memories, I was 10 years old at the time of writing. Definitely cringe and terrible pacing, but I've improved. Thanks for the commentary haha