Applejack goes on her day to day chores oblivious to Pinkie's feelings until she no longer has a choice to ignore them.
PinkieXApplejack shipfic.
UPDATE: I thought this one was finished, but with the newest episode i got an idea and i simply HAD to follow it. So i wrote up and put together a little chapter which takes place after the main story. I hope you enjoy!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was great, it is good to see rare ships like ApplePie and others. especially when they are so well written.
So congratulations, have 5 stars!
A few spelling mistakes, but good.
incredible, i love it, watching you from now on
Favorited!
199500
Apart from the word "argument" and a few "y'all"s missing their apostrophe, the only misspellings left in the story belong in dialogue, mostly Applejack's but Pinkie also throws out a bestest.
Thank you for bringing that to my attention, that should be all of them.
Starlitomega
199492
My favorite ship has always been Pinkie/Dash until i wrote this fic. These two have so much to play on and they're hardly ever used. i'm glad i took a chance on them.
Rainbow Dash...
Drowsy...
Coffee...
Sonic Rainboom...
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!
Wow. That was a touching story...
So this is shipping? I expected a lot more creepiness.
374719
Creepiness? out of shipping? unless you're looking at clopfics there shouldn't really be any creepiness. Me personally and most of the artist's I've read stop at kisses. IF you're new to shipping i highly recommend Common Sky.
I hope you take more chances on shipping in the future and make sure to read the warning that they don't go into the mature category.
if you want more shipping fic recommendations, feel free to PM me and i'll be glad to send you some!
Thank you for reading and commenting on my work.
Starlitomega/Starlitalpha
A very worthwhile addition to the end
Two apples for three bits? What do they do for one apple? A whole coin and one chopped in half? XD
"If there ever comes a time ah can’t trust YOU, then it sure enough means Equestria is doomed." I loved that line
I wonder what in the hay a mouth mitt looks like
In this story, I'm glad that Applejack's use of the term "y'all" in each instance can be intepreted to including ponies not present (particularly the Cakes), since I personally still don't like it's use toward one pony. (Personally don't ever see it, and after double-checking some references, come to the conclusion that it's very rare and probably not the right way to use it)
Applejack saying that she'd stand by Pinkie....and then telling her they shouldn't hang out together, was cold. Not saying anything for or against it...just...wow.
[Twilight raised her glasses in shock. “You turned her down?!”]
...oh no, Applejack didn't give Pinkie Pie the answer she was looking for...THAT MONSTER! ...seriously though, the moment that Twilight responded, I didn't like where it seemed her mindset was going.
[“Well, I’m glad she had SOMEPONY to talk to after you let her down. You ever stop to think you might have feelings for Pinkie?”]
...Oh yes. Because certainly Applejack is wrong about her feelings, and Twilight knows them better than she does. Applejack loves Pinkie because Twilight says so. Do not like where this is going...
"Why couldn’t you at least try?" ....I know this is from a dream sequence and Pinkie isn't really saying it, but Applejack is sure thinking it, and it's just another log on the fire of "guilting Appljack into loving Pinkie Pie"
Great. Pinkie Pie gets herself hurt running away, and despite what she says, of course everyone is going to blame Applejack including Applejack herself. More guilting AJ into loving her. This is NOT how love happens. You can't just guilt it into someone. They feel it, or they don't. Sure, Applejack could have underlying feelings toward Pinkie Pie....but instead of finding herself fantasizing about her, longing for her....you're just guilting her into loving Pinkie. And missing the friendship masquerades as longing.
I'm sorry. I couldn't finish it. Maybe someday. I just can't bring myself to continue reading.
2067112
Two bits an apple, buying more than one apple nets you a discount.
The point of the story was that Pinkie already meant a lot to AJ. AJ is a pony of repetition and habit. Her life is mired in routine. When Pinkie threatens that, AJ feels her only choice is to run because shes scared. The other ponies aren't guilt tripping her, they're just shocked that AJ isn't seeing what they see her.
"...Oh yes. Because certainly Applejack is wrong about her feelings..."
This is the basis of many stories involving love. Fictional and non-fictional. People have feelings, they don't understand them, they sometimes hurt the ones they like. I'm dead serious here. Many of the higher quality fics in the community feature stories where one or both of the ponies of the participants are confused or unsure of their feelings. Sometimes it's the ones on the outside that see better than the ones on the inside.
"Twilight raised her glasses in shock. “You turned her down?!”
No part of this says "you monster!" or "how dare you." It's exactly what i put on the tin. Shock. Twilight has seen how they interact and believes AJ likes Pinkie, so when AJ says she doesn't, it comes as a bit of a shock. Never at any point through any of the interactions do I imply they are mad or angry with Applejack. just confusion. At the time I did my level best to portray AJ's behavior not being of guilt, but because her routine with Pinkie has been shattered.
Quite honestly, and I'm not saying you're wrong because i can't, but you're the first person I've heard from on three different sites that interpreted this as a pure guilt trip instead of AJ not realizing how much Pinkie means to her. Nonetheless, i will take this into consideration because one of the most important things to me is conveying the correct emotion. Normally I have a policy not to endlessly rewrite my older fics, but this will be an exception because this is the first fic i wrote that I started to believe that I have a modicum of talent when it comes to writing. I'll give it a quick clean up and make doubly sure I can convey what i mean.
Thanks for taking the time to comment on it, but i can't believe it was soooooo bad that it was impossible to finish, but hey, i can't see inside your head and I can't force context on you. I can however make sure my words match my intent more closely.
Oh, and in another comment you mentioned wanting to read a clop fic that was more than horse sex. I don't read clop stories mostly because they're just that. Blatant sex with nothing more than that. But someone i know who links me stories linked me one and said, "no dude, give it a chance."
and so i present you with this. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/69351/rainbow-dash-and-the-infinite-party-favors-of-pinkie-pie <--- nsfw.
Hope you enjoy it the way i did, quite honestly i'm not sure it would even work as a clopfic since the emotional parts of the story over shadow the clop.
Starlitomega
Hrm. How did I not know of this until now? Thank you for adding this to the Apple Pie group folder. I would never have come across it otherwise. A nice entry in a regrettably obscure ship.
Lessee, critiques... Well, mechanically, capitalization is a thing that needs to be worked on. There's a lot of uncapitalized proper nouns and 'I's here that make it look a bit sloppy. Readable, and otherwise grammatically sound, but sloppy. Also, for some reason you have a space between your punctuation marks and end quotes, which makes it sometimes a bit difficult to tell which side of the quote is the part being spoken, and sometimes results in the quotation mark ending up on a separate line from the sentence it's a part of.
You said that you re-worked it to make it clearer that Applejack's actions were because she didn't understand her own feelings, but I think it still needs to go further in that direction. The reader needs to really feel AJ's confusion. Sell it with long pauses, stuttered words, numb hooves, or things like that, and it'll be more believable later that she really did feel for Pinkie and wasn't, like Pidgeons said, 'guilted' into loving her. (I should be one to talk, this is the root cause of the biggest flaw in my own Apple Pie fic!)
While Pidgeons was a bit rude in the manner of pointing it out, he/she did have a point about one thing. Pinkie running off and getting hurt felt a bit exploitative. If the emotional buildup had been working properly, this mildly out-of-character action for Pinkie to take would not have been necessary in order to bring the story to a climax. As it stands, that part felt like it was laying on the drama a bit too thick just for the sake of forcing AJ to admit she was wrong.
But let's not dwell entirely on the negatives. There is definitely some quality in this piece. I especially like the early scenes with Applejack making her deliveries to Sugarcube Corner. The sense of comfort and amiability in that scene make it very believable that, were they so inclined, some kind of relationship would form between the two of them. I kinda wish that there were more scenes like this in the story; maybe actually have them go for swimming lessons like they mentioned, or something. For the duration that you write Pinkie Pie and Applejack interacting while things are normal for them, you do a lovely job of building a warm, genuine-feeling relationship.
All in all, this is much better than it might have been, just not quite as good as it could be. Setting my Apple Pie bias aside, I'd give this a seven out of ten. (With the bias, it's of course a perfect ten because we need MOAR APPLE PIE) Thank you for writing, and good luck in future endeavors!
2105823
Yeah, you should've seen this BEFORE! Either way, the main problem i have with this story looking back is the whole pinkie goes missing part. Unfortunately, it's a core component of the story from my early days of writing, so I couldn't really take it out, just spit-polish it.
I'll work on the quotations and such. It's still my main weakness when it comes to grammar and the most difficult part of writing for me to be honest.
In a perfect world, I would've had this story start earlier in their relationship, say in the last week that Twilight kept pointing out their interactions. The only problem is, rewriting this fic means I'm not working on newer, potentially better fics. So apart from trying to convey Applejack's confusion and the quotation and capitalization fixing, as jontron would say, we're done here.
Thanks for your input and I'm glad you enjoyed it despite the flaws. Quite honestly, I never saw potential in the Apple-pie pairing until i wrote this story, I guess that's why it means alot to me. Both you and Pidgeon's input helped, or will help make this story better than any right it had to be!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment and help me become a better writer.
starlitomega
Definitely. I respect you for making what changes you did make, because it can be outright depressing putting that kind of work making fixes that only a handful of people will see (since making it a better fic doesn't give it a second go at the front page). I'm not asking you to do that when I leave critiques. Just to maybe think about those things the next time you write.
Y'know, what I like even better than your writing is your levelheaded and positive response to criticism. Get yourself a proofreader with a sharp pair of eyes, and I think you'll go far.
That ending....Was so cheesy. I love it!